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“Do you p’omise you come back?”
The question caught him off guard.
He was folding clothes, and ironing them before putting them into piles for each family member to take to their room once they got home. The TV show running in the background was more of a background noise than actual interest. No way he could fold all these clothes without something to distract his mind from all the busy thoughts.
“What do you mean, kiddo?”
Reed stared at him with wide eyes, not coloring in the character he had just drawn on the paper to stare deeply into Fionn's soul. His dad keeps saying he did the same thing as a kid so maybe it was genetics to stare at people as if they were aliens. “Do you p’omise to come back? When you go to A’my, will you come back?”
“Oh honey child, of course I will!” He turns off the iron, walks over to Reed, pulls his… brother onto his lap and looks at the drawing over his shoulder. Reed relaxed onto him, taking a felt tip pen and drawing on his arm with childish innocence. A flower, a sun, a horse. He thinks it's a horse as well. “Why do you think I wouldn't come back, baby?”
“I dunno. Maybe you will find someone betta’ than us…” Fionn hugged Reed closer, placing kisses on the crown of his head.
Reed never had an issue with Fionn going away until they explained to him what would happen once Fionn joined the military. Suddenly, Reed had every issue with it.
If he could, Fionn would not go. But when Fionn joined UNL, he knew they'd have to go to the army once they got their degree. It was the only way they could afford Uni for them right now, their dad was already working over time to try and provide for the rest of the family. So Fionn would rather go to the army and leave the second he can, than be part of the debt their dad would have to go through.
“I would never find somebody better than yall, Birdie. Why would you think that?”
“Cause- cause you will be in a’my and we won’ see you and maybe you will for’et us. Don't want you to for’et us.” His heart was heavy at the boys words.
“No baby, don't even worry about tha’. I won’t forget about you, Birdie. You’re my family. No one else could replace you.” The kid just snuggled closer to him, wrapping his arms around his neck and holding tight onto the back of their shirt. He didn't cry or scream or try to throw a tantrum, he just held Fionn tightly and didn't let him go even if Fionn pulled away a bit.
His tiny hands were holding so tight onto his shirt, he was worried it was going to rip a bit. He just let him, a shirt can be replaced, a kids comfort cant. If the kid needs to hug his… his brother to feel comfort, Fionn will let him hug him until it is time for him to die.
Or his dad comes home, whichever one comes first.
It took a while and one episode of whatever cop show was playing on TV for Reed to stop holding him like a maniac, letting go and just getting more comfortable on his lap to watch the show better before sliding off finally and returning to his drawing when the cops did not entertain him.
He returned to grabbing his crayon and smashing it against the paper with his toddler motorics, not even bothering to stay fully in the lines. But probably with more grace than other toddlers did at his age. Fionn lowered himself next to him, looking at the paper the toddler is leaving his creativity on.
“Who’re you drawing, little birdie?” The kid poked his tongue out as he filled in the last messy green square. Finally, he held it up as if he drew the Monalisa and to Fionn, it was the greatest artwork he had ever seen.
Reed pushed it back onto the table before grabbing Fionn’s hand and forming a pointing finger with messy grabby hands. He guided his dad's finger across the paper till it got onto a red blob with spiky yellow hair and blue dots as eyes. “Me!” The kid jumped up and down in his lap, staring up at him with a big toothy smile.
“I can see that, birdie. You're such a good artist.” Reed preened under the positive words, shining as if Fionn just gave him the entire world. Reed forced his finger onto another character, looking at his dad with wide eyes full of expectations.
The other character was rounder, literally a circle for a body, brown spikes for hair and green used for square glasses. “Grandpa.” the kid giggles at the drawing, pleased with how he views his family on the little paper. Fionn lets out his own laugh at how the kid viewed their dad as a circle.
With excitement, the kid took his sleeve and pointed at two identical characters, just that one had long brown hair and the other short brown hair.“And who is that, hmm? “
“hmmm, they look so alike, I can't tell them apart!” Reed laughs and giggles at him, hands flapping and jumping up and down in excitement. His smile was full of happiness and teeth, making him so, so happy. The kid's love and excitement was his greatest power and it made Fionn's heart swell so much.
On purpose, Fionn points at the one with the shorter brown lines: “That must be Cherry!”
The toddler huffs and puffs in his lap, jumping up and down a bit at his… his brother getting the wrong answer. The day Reed understands a bit more that people are messing with him, is the day Fionn won't have to deal with tantrums anymore.
“Oh no wait, it is Berry!” The kid starts clapping and jumping up and down, shaking his hands a bit and smiling like he won the lottery. Reed loved whenever people understood what he was drawing and that they weren't just random lines, they had meaning to the child and he loved when they recognized it. Even if it makes it harder to mess with the kid, who could easily melt down if it was wrongfully misunderstood.
“and that is cherry!” Reed keeps jumping and being all smiley over Fionn telling the twins apart now, it made melt inside at the sight of the small boy's joy. When he stopped jumping and laughing the boy pointed at the next, looking up at Fionn with bright eyes.
A smaller red, round character stood next to the twins, looking just like the stick figure drawing of their dad, minus the green glasses. Out of all the Snow siblings, Alder was Always the splitting copy of their dad.
There was some weird feeling in their chest whenever they thought about how Alder turned out just like their dad when his mom died at the birth. He can't explain it so he pushes it away.
“Well if that isn't our monkey!” The kid reacted just like he did with twins and despite it always being the same reaction, Fionn would never let the kid act any different. Reed needs to be able to act the way Fionn was never allowed to and if that was the last thing Fionn made sure happens. Reed pulled his hand to the last character on the drawing, now calming and melting into Fionn's hold.
The character was similar to Reeds, just taller and with some white spots on white paper shining through. The red shirt was replaced by a blue one. He smiled, hugging Reed closer and kissing along his hairline, making the little man giggle at the feeling. “That's me, Thank you birdie.”
There was no other person on the drawing and Fionn soured over that. He cant deny the twist in their gut knowing that Reed never would see his grandma, Fionn's mother, in his family.
Oh, the blissful views of children.
Not knowing the grief the rest of them would carry to their grave. Fionn just hopes Reed would never carry the grief he felt. Especially if Fionn is the cause of the grief. While Fionn is happy his studies got paid off and he didn't have to worry about those when he began, knowing the army would take him in after.
But maybe he would have not done it if he knew Reed would feel this sadness.
They spent the rest of the week together until it was finally time for them to get ready to leave. Through tears and hugs Fionn ran over to Elijah, joining the man he has grown close to over his years in college. They had a soft, sweet love that while their families approved, wasn't something they had shown either. It was for them, for now. Some day they might drag them home with him, but the kisses under moonlight are just for the two of them now.
Another reason for them to keep it hidden for now was that Fionn wasn't sure how his family would react.
The last time he told them he had a boyfriend, he had a son 9 months later. They didn't stay together in the end. So they were a bit careful when he told them about Elijah. They were supportive in the way that they were glad that Fionn had found someone again, but also scared of how this would end.
They loved Reed, but if they had to watch Fionn go through that pregnancy again, they would probably break up.
Elijah didn't tell them how his family reacted. Fionn didn't prod either, they didn't want to intrude into the life of their lover just yet. They would have more than enough time to do that in the future.
Reed seemed less than pleased when Fionn had finally decided that on their next leave, Eli is coming with him. Reed was already older, his ninth birthday coming up closer than Fionn would like. Fionn wanted Eli to be part of his life when they watched their son blow out the candles on his tenth birthday in a few years, but it's not like Fionn can just force the boy to accept him.
So Fionn decided to introduce them earlier, Reed being a bit sour and pouty at having to share Fionn's attention even more than he already does whenever the older visits. Fionn isn't just his …. brother, after all. He is also the brother of the rest of the Snows. Another person, who Fionn is in love with? That will just be upsetting.
The rest of them seemed okay with it. Papa Snow seemed to already prepare the Shovel talk and the rest of them seemed to get ready to be overprotective once Eli knocked at the door, pleasantly surprised to meet a well mannered man who seemed to treat Fionn with such care a love, even if he had some harsh words to him when it came to on field action.
Despite the rest of them warming up to the texan quickly, Reed still seemed to not like him near Fionn. Almost always the kid squirmed away out of their proximity or would make some throw up noises at them being soft with each other, and in general just being very annoyed at the older’s lover.
The others told him not to worry and it was just the first time that Reed saw that type of love and care for another person, of course he will react to it like a piece of broccoli. But Fionn knew there was something deeper behind it and that Reed's upset is far deeper than the kid shows.
Fionn's guess was proven right when he woke up and turned the light on in the middle of the night.
Reed had knocked on the door, walking in with his big stuffy. He looked at Elijah, checking whether the man was sleeping or not. When Eli seemed asleep to Reed, the small child ran over to Fionn, jumping onto the bed and into his arms. Fionn asked him what's going on but Reed just shook his head, burying further into Fionn's shoulder.
He could feel tiny tear drops against his neck and got concerned, pulling away and pulling Reed's face into his hands. The kid was ugly crying but quietly, sniffing while tears streamed out of his big blue eyes. It took a long while of shushing and holding the boy as tight as Fionn could until he was calm enough for them to be able to ask the question that had been burning on their tongue the entire time.
“What is wrong, little birdie? What is scaring you?”
Because it was fear, fear of something Fionn itched to understand.
“I- I don't want you to leave me-” the kid held him like a lifeline, crying loudly and not caring about the man next to them. Fionn knew Eli woke up to the knocking but just stayed in his position to not scare off the kid that was already terrified of the random man in their house. “I don't- want to be alone-”
“Why would you be alone, birdie?”
“Cause- you- cause you- you have- you have a new fam- family-” Reed just sniffled, holding his fennec fox plushie tightly in his arms. “I don't- I want to be- I am you f’mily!” Fionn shushed him before the kid could start a temper tantrum that would sure force Elijah to wake up just by the sheer noise.
“Birdie, you are my family. You all are, what do you mean?”
The kid sniffled, visibly frustrated at Fionn trying to pull the information out of his nose like an extra stubborn booger. Why couldn't Fionn just understand his needs without him saying it! “He is your family! You said you love- love him and if- if you- if you love him, you can't love me.”
It broke Fionn's heart hearing his son's voice be so broken.
“Oh no, Reed. No no no, kid. I love him, I do. But I also love you. I care about him just like you do, and I care about my friends from work like you care about your friends from school. I say I love them, because all they need is love and care to keep them running for the next miles until safety and because they are close to my heart.”
Reed pulled at the foxes ear a bit and Fionn could see where it needed some new stitching. “There are more people who love you like we do?” Fionn nods, pleased with Reed seemingly understanding that Fionn can care for more people like multiple people can care for him. “Will you bring them home too?”
“Some day, birdie.” The kid looked up at him with wide, blue eyes, “some day, I will bring people home with me that protect me because they care about me just like you did. Because to each other, we are family, just like you and me-”
“UNCLE ALEKS! AUNT HELENA!” that got Fionn back into reality, waking up from the little memory lane he fell into thinking about his son's early years.
Reed ran over to Aleks and Helena, hugging her first. She pulled away and immediately started asking him about how much he was drinking and worrying about him being too thin for his age. Reed just looked at her with pleading eyes to stop worrying.
Once Helena stopped picking apart Reed for everything, he turned to Aleks, getting pulled into a strong hug by the German man, Reed mouthing a ‘help’ when Aleks held him tighter than he expected. He melted into the hug a moment later though, appreciating the Germans' way of showing love.
It used to be different, the three were on edge and stressed to exist alongside each other. The first time Helena and Aleks were over, Reed was still small and kept asking questions that maybe they should've taught him not to ask, both had to go on an unconventional walk to kind of process it.
The older he got, and the more often they came over, the better it got. Aleks would answer any questions about the human body that their father didn't want to answer and Helena would show him anything he didn't want to ask Fionn to teach him.
Despite knowing it took a long time for Reed to accept that there are more people in their family, Fionn isn't going to not be salty at Reed running to them first and not his literal dad.
"9 months I carry you only to be replaced by two Germans. How dare you.” Reed turned to him right away, seemingly not having noticed his father sitting on the passenger seat.
“DAD!” Reed ran at him, pushing them both into the seat further. He pulled the little snowflake closer to himself, lying back over the console to pull his boy into as tight of a hug as he could handle. They boy giggled when Fionn started to pepper his hair with kisses and words of love and care that he wished he could tell him all the time.
“You're here,” Reed whispered, “I wasn't sure if you came...”
“I promised you I would come back any time, didn't I?” Reed smiles up at him, letting his head fall back onto his chest and humming.
“You did. Thank you.”
“Always, birdie.” he pulled him closer to rest his face on his son's head “Always.”