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“Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.” said Roy’s phone. He let out a sigh of exasperation and pressed the red button on the screen.
It had been about a week since Roy had last spoken to Moe. He understood that it was an especially busy week for Moe, but he had been missing him like crazy. He’d been experiencing feelings for him ever since they were in college, and everything about those emotions just ate him up from the inside. He wanted to tell these feelings to Moe—or anyone, really—but he was so scared that he’d lose the friendship he’d built up over the years with him.
Maybe, just to ease his nerves, he could read the blog on Moe’s website before hitting the hay. After all, that would be, like, seventy percent of the way to actually talking to him. Also, didn’t a new volume of Windstorm get announced? Moe would probably have a post about that on his site. And just as he expected, when he entered on the landing page of his website, there was a link right to his blog post about Windstorm Volume IV.
Roy clicked on the link, and began to read. Moe had written that while he was disappointed with the previous volume, he was optimistic for volume IV. While reading, he noticed that the words “volume III of Windstorm” were hyperlinked. He was curious now about what made volume III worse than the first two. When Roy clicked on the link, however, he was a little perplexed. Roy wasn’t on a review of Windstorm Volume III or anything of the sort, but rather what seemed to be a vent post by Moe about a certain regular he had grown to detest. It became a bit more clear what the post was meant to be as he continued to read, however.
“Honestly, I’m glad they’ll never see this,” read the article. That’s when it finally clicked—this was meant to be a private post. That wasn’t made any less obvious by the navigation box at the bottom now containing about a dozen extra links to posts Roy had never read. Knowing how it can hurt to have a private thing suddenly become public, Roy immediately texted Moe about the broken link. Still, feeling a bit lovesick, Roy let himself become the cat whom curiosity killed, and clicked on one of the blue links.
“In Which I Drabble About Love For 1600 Words” was the title of the private blog post he had clicked on. Roy wondered to himself about which guy Moe would be writing about. Would it be a customer at his store? Would it be someone Roy knew personally? Would it be about nobody in particular at all? It would be spectacular if he were the subject of the article, but this isn’t a piece of fanfiction where the main couple always gets together, right?
“Okay, so I’ve always felt a little weird writing these hidden posts on my website. My therapist suggested this to me after I admitted to her that I get anxious about keeping secrets and hiding my true feelings, and I find it genuinely has helped. Still, I can’t shake this feeling that someone will find these. I mean, this is basically just a confession of love to someone I’ve had feelings for for about a year now, so I can’t bear to imagine what would happen if they found this and didn’t like me back.”
Reading this paragraph made Roy feel just a sliver of guilt for having given into his curiosity. He did, eventually, manage to justify this in his mind, which was probably beginning to melt from his unrequited attraction. After all, the article isn’t written about him, so when he finds out who Moe wrote the post about, he could just not let anybody know, and be on his merry way. Roy scrolled down the page.
“Anyways, I’ve really gotten to thinking about this guy I’ve liked for the past, I don’t know, nine months? We’ve been close friends since high school, and I think my feelings for him kinda started so slowly that I never really recognized them until fairly recently.”
Roy did a double take. Did Moe just say that he had a crush on a guy he had been friends with since high school? Roy met Moe at a comics club back in high school, and just as the post said, they’ve stayed relatively close since then. This really hooked Roy in. He continued to read the article, intently perusing the musings of the one he had cherished. Eventually, he had to do another double take, and a triple, and so forth.
“I think the moment that really solidified my feelings for this guy was when I was ordering a pizza from the pizzeria his uncle owned. Our hands briefly touched when he was handing me my pizza, and his hands felt like no one’s hands have ever felt. While I was walking back to my apartment I was like ‘Shit, am I gay for this guy?’”
It just so happens that Roy remembers this exact encounter. He could see Moe’s face turn pink before turning white, and he remembers how he ran back to his apartment like a little boy in a haunted house. At the time, Roy assumed that maybe Moe realized that he was going to be late for something, and that he’d simply lost track of time. However, reading this now, he began to reconsider the moments from the past few months when he’d suddenly blush or get nervous. He thought back to when Joy and them went to an escape room for her birthday. Moe’s usually great at escape rooms and other puzzles like that, but that day, he just seemed extra nervous, especially around Roy. Roy ignored this, thinking that maybe he was just a bit stressed from work, but seeing that memory recontextualized, he kicked himself for not having noticed his odd behavior before.
Roy’s mouse continued to scroll down the webpage. Moe had listed numerous encounters he’d had with Roy, and Roy continued to shove his face into his hand for not having picked up on how lovestruck Moe was. Eventually though, he had reached the bottom. And at the bottom, there was but one line.
“Roy, I love you.”
By this point Roy was already burning with excitement. He could feel the hot blood rush to his face pump after pump. He decided that now was a better time than ever to hit the sack. It was only seven thirty in the evening, but he would have to try his hardest if he wanted to get any sleep that night. His phone had different plans. It let out a brief ding as he was putting it away for the night. Surprisingly enough, it was a text from Moe. How serendipitous.
“Ah, dang it, well at least it was only a link to one of my posts. BTW, would you mind calling? I wanted to ask you something.” Roy responded affirmatively, before his phone began to shake in his hand. Roy answered the call, eagerly greeting Moe on the phone.
“H-Hey, it’s been a minute,” said Moe, with a slight chuckle, “I was thinking we could meet up over a slice of pizza?”
“Yeah, that sounds nice,” replied Roy. “Awesome, I’ll see you in five!” exclaimed Moe, before ending the phone call.
Roy got up out of bed, cleaned himself up, and walked down to the pizzeria. He sat himself down at a table—the closest one to the door, and waited patiently for his crush to arrive. “Hey, Roy!” Moe stated as he walked into the restaurant. “Hey, Moe, can you sit down for a moment? I have something I’ve been wanting to tell you” After Roy said this, he could immediately see Moe getting a bit flustered.
Still, Moe sat down at the table, prepared for whatever Roy wanted to tell him. Roy put his hand on Moe’s cheek, as if to foreshadow his plans for the very near future. “A-are you gonna kiss me or-” Moe sheepishly sputtered out, before being interrupted by Roy’s lips slamming into his with the strength of Heracles and the passion of Eros. Initially incredulous to the series of events that had just unfolded, Moe eventually gave into the kiss and let a high of euphoria no drug could ever replicate overtake each and every nerve in his body. When Roy finally pulled away after an eternity of ecstasy, Moe felt like he could pass out and never wake up.
“So, um, what was that all about?” said Moe after coming to his senses, trying to play it cool.
“Well,” replied Roy, “I just wanted to kiss you.”
“Can you kiss me again?” asked Moe.
Roy pulled himself into Moe again, and this time, Moe was ready for the gleefully blissful sensation to emerge when their lips touched. After another eternity, their lips parted, and Moe really began to think about what this all meant for him and Roy. Are they dating now? Is he Roy’s boyfriend? Is Roy his boyfriend? Moe voiced these concerns to Roy.
“I mean, if you wanna be.” Roy answered with the slightest giggle in voice and the slightest hint of red in his face. “Well then,” Moe suggested, “I guess I’m your boyfriend now.”
“And I guess I’m yours,” Roy replied, before giving Moe a brief peck on the cheek, “Now, why don’t we get a pizza in the oven?”
“I’d love to,” said Moe.