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The moon is all up and shimmery, Alternia continues to spin, and you are Gamzee Makara, chillin’ in your matesprit’s hive because that’s your weekend choice of miracle.
You were all motherfuckin’ happy to welcome Tavros to your own, too, but for your flushed bro, it ain’t so breezy to travel even down the coast where his wheels bury in the sand, and you can’t ever keep up with cleanin’ enough for smooth wheelin’.
He’d recently had his hive refurnished, with the help of your mutual bud, Kanaya. Bitchtits did a mirthful job, that’s for motherfuckin’ sure. It’s all color-coded and shit, what a marvel to look at. And while you liked the ramp and all the cool one-wheel device tricks it invited, now you can actually sit in his ablution-trap-like recuperacoon together and slam away your afternoons.
Your favorite pastime, if you’re bein’ honest.
TAVROS: aRE YOU,
TAVROS: eATING THE SOPOR SLIME?
GAMZEE: Ah ShIt SoRrY bRoThEr, HaBiTs DiE hArD :o/
TAVROS: gAMZEE… iT HAS TO TASTE AWFUL, nO? wE’VE BEEN HERE FOR A WHILE, iT’S NOT EVEN CLEAN ANYMORE
GAMZEE: YoU’d Be SuRpRiSeD, bRoThEr ;o)
TAVROS: oNCE AGAIN, i WOULD, aPPRECIATE A LOT IF YOU DIDN’T EAT IT AT MY PLACE, iT MAKES ME WORRIED
GAMZEE: :o(
TAVROS: lET’S HAVE SOMETHING, uH, rEAL TO EAT…?
GAMZEE: ThAt WoUlD bE mIrAcUlOuS, aLrIgHt
TAVROS: wHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU ATE SOMETHING THAT’S NOT SOPOR, oR FAYGO?
GAMZEE: WhEn WaS tHe LaSt TiMe InDeEd
TAVROS: uM, yES?
GAMZEE: HoNk
TAVROS: oH MY
TAVROS: yOU REALLY HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BETTER GAMZEE
TAVROS: dON’T,,
TAVROS: dON’T MAKE ME PITY YOU LIKE THAT }X//
GAMZEE: My BaD, tAvBrO :o(
TAVROS: nO, pLEASE DON’T APOLOGIZE!
TAVROS: jUST, uM, eAT SOMETHING ONCE IN A WHILE, pLEASE
GAMZEE: FoR yOu I’lL tRy My MoThErFuCkIn’ BeSt, PeAnUt BuTtEr
TAVROS: tHANK YOU
Try to not feel dejected as you watch Tavros and his lusus dance around the respite block. You should be glad that your matesprit has that sort of assistance, and company. It’s a priceless miracle. Of all the trolls you can name on your fingers, Tavros needs it the most.
Instead, focus on the smile on his face. Seein’ your matesprit smile, subtly curled lips or beaming grins, fills you with enough mirth to feed a subgrub.
These thoughts are what keeps you company on lonesome days. Right now, it’s the sound of his voice, chipper and breathless, as he stuffs his round cheeks with yeastbuns.
You stopped followin’ his speech a while ago, something about that beast game he loves to play. You’re not familiar. So you just listen to the pleasant melody, all until it suddenly falls into silence.
You blink slowly.
He’s staring at you with an upside down smile. What’s got your favorite motherfucker sad? Sure hope it wasn’t you, or you’re ready to slam a big confused apology.
But Tavros shakes his head. He nods towards your plate, almost untouched.
TAVROS: iS SOMETHING WRONG?
TAVROS: dOES IT NOT TASTE GOOD? aH, wHATEVER’S SOLD TO HIGH BLOODS IS PROBABLY MUCH BETTER QUALITY }:(
GAMZEE: ThAt AiN’t It, DoN’t YoU wOrRy
GAMZEE: HeY, i’M eAtIn’ AiN’t I? :o)
TAVROS: nOT REALLY, yOU AREN’T,,
TAVROS: tHEN, uM, cAN I ASK WHY?
GAMZEE: LiFe AiN’t AbOuT hAvIn’ AlL tHe AnSwErS
GAMZEE: SoMeTiMeS fOoD’s MoThErFuCkIn’ DeLiCiOuS iN tHe WiNdHoLe, SoMeTiMeS iT’s ThE nAsTiEsT sHiT i’Ve EvEr TaStEd
GAMZEE: DoN’t GeT tO cHoOsE, lIkE a MoThErFuCkIn’ RoUlEtTe WhEeL, cAlL tHaT a CaRnIvAl
GAMZEE: FaYgO, tHoUgH? nEvEr DiSsApPoInTs, WhAt A mIrAcLe
TAVROS: oH, uM, i DIDN’T KNOW THAT’S WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR YOU, i FEEL BAD NOW
TAVROS: bUT, wELL, i STILL THINK THAT,
TAVROS: yOU SHOULD EAT REGULARLY, aND,
TAVROS: fIND THE THINGS THAT DON’T BOTHER YOU TOO MUCH
GAMZEE: I aPpReCiAtE yOu AlL uP aNd LoOkIn’ OuT fOr Me
GAMZEE: BeSt MoThErFuCkIn’ FrIeNd I cOuLd EvEr AsK fOr
GAMZEE: :o)
TAVROS: ,,,,,
TAVROS: yOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND TOO
TAVROS: tHAT’S WHY I WORRY }:(
TAVROS: i LIKE YOU THE BEST WHEN YOU’RE HAPPY, aND HEALTHY
GAMZEE: :’o)
GAMZEE: AnD i’M tHe HaPpIeSt AnD hEaLtHiEsT wItH yOu, TaVbRo
TAVROS: (nOT SURE IF THAT FLATTERS ME OR MAKES ME EVEN MORE WORRIED…)
GAMZEE: WhAt WaS tHaT?
TAVROS: nOTHING,,
GAMZEE: :oP
TAVROS: }:|
•••
You wander a lot. This habit, developed out of the absence of other shit to do, had led you all up and around the shore, and sometimes even further. Fresh air is mirthful; rich with the smell of the ocean. Yet another miracle of nature.
It isn’t every day you travel this far in-land, other than groceries, but even those you prefer orderin’ a drone delivery for. Bein’ all up on the caste system gives you that opportunity. It’s only ever the same shit anyway, to bake pies out of. This time is all anew, however, as you find yourself unable to even grasp how to withhold Tavros’ promise. Guess you have to motherfuckin’ figure this out in the flesh.
You realize, standing amidst supermarket aisles, that there’s so motherfuckin’ many foods to choose from that your head spins a little. In theory, that’s so motherfuckin’ awesome, bein’ laid out with an arsenal like that. In practice, even if the colors and lights and trolls whirring about are mirthful to marvel at, you’re starting to feel a little lost.
As subtly as a clown with two left feet can, you watch and follow a pair of rustbloods, pickin’ up whatever shit they do. Some of it is familiar, like the fruit and vegetables, though they look rather faded. For Tavros, you remind yourself.
You watch a troll with twisted horns carefully choose from pastries, a chunky piece of yeastloaf. You take a couple smaller ones, too, because they look fit to juggle.
When you pass through the sweets section, your eyes are drawn towards a jar of peanut paste, which you smile at and immediately throw into the basket, next to which you place plum jam as well. You have abso-motherfuckin-lutely no idea how that tastes, but the color combination sells you on it.
Eventually, you conclude there’s enough shit all piled up in your cart to last you a lifetime, or at least a few weeks, unless the squeakbeasts beg to share with. Half because your thinkpan ceases processing all the colorful jumble around you as more than colorful motherfuckin’ jumble, half because you’ve reached the purple-marked section and your mind narrows down to the most important prize of them all.
Stored in rows of glass-protected cabinets, cold and warm, is a rainbow made of Faygo bottles. You hold out your palm and touch the nearby monitor, awaiting the familiar sting.
Beep. Blood recognized. There we motherfuckin’ go.
Fruit Punch, Jazzin’ blue berries, that’s the good shit. You don’t need to ponder over flavors, but you do, anyway, really takin’ in the beauty in front of you. Savourin’ the nice things in life, as one should.
The movement in the corner of your vision goes unnoticed, until you catch a familiar voice.
NEPETA: :33 < *ac stalks after her newest victim stealthily*
NEPETA: :33 < *she prepares to pounce*
GAMZEE: Oh, HeY bItChTiTs, ThE pUrRbEaSt HeRsElF
GAMZEE: HoW’s It GoIn’?
NEPETA: :33 < *being spotted, ac straightens up and eyes the wild beast before sauntering towards him*
NEPETA: :33 < wonderfully!
NEPETA: :33 < i have never b33n to a supurrmarcat befur!
GAMZEE: ShIt, No WaY
GAMZEE: WeLl ThEn, FeAsT yOuR eYeS oN tHiS mIrAcLe
GAMZEE: ThEy’Ve gOt It AlL uP aNd StOcKeD
NEPETA: :33 < i still don’t really cat it
NEPETA: :33 < *ac looks around and growls at the meowny meowny things she’s not allowed to pounce and hunt*
GAMZEE: Oh YeAh, AlWaYs BoThErEd Me ToO, gOnNa SlAm InTo ThEsE sEe ThRoUgH mOtHeRfUcKeRs OnE dAy, AnD nOt In ThE pOeTiC wAy EiThEr
NEPETA: :33 < *ac giggles*
NEPETA: :33 < *her eyes wander over to the contents of the wild beast’s cart. she wonders why so many jars of peanut butter?*
GAMZEE: ThAt’S wHaT mY bLoOdPuShEr WaS cRaViN’
GAMZEE: YoU gOtTa LiStEn To ThAt LiTtLe MoThErFuCkEr, YoU wItH mE
NEPETA: :33 < *ac nods enthusiastically, that is purrecisely what she thinks as well*
GAMZEE: :o)
GAMZEE: YoU wAnT aNyThIn’ FrOm ThIs SeCtIoN oVeR?
GAMZEE: PoP oPeN a FrEsH bOtTlE oF fAyGo WiTh Me
NEPETA: :33 < *ac shakes her head warrily*
EQUIUS: D -> Nepeta, I have ordered you to not stray away from me while I collect necessary purchases
NEPETA: :33 < don’t you worry i am purrfectly fine
NEPETA: :33 < found a furriend!
EQUIUS: D -> Oh, Highb100d
EQUIUS: D -> What a pleasant surprise to be graced with your presence
EQUIUS: D -> What brings you here?
GAMZEE: GoTtA kEeP tHe PaNtRy FuLl Or ThE sQuEaKbEaStS gEt LoNeLy
EQUIUS: D -> Of course
EQUIUS: D -> Forgive my foolish question
EQUIUS: D -> I meant
EQUIUS: D -> I don’t believe we have crossed paths at a place like this
GAMZEE: WeLl I aIn’T cOmIn’ HeRe OfTeN, yOu GoT tHaT rIgHt…
GAMZEE: PrOmIsEd My FlUsHeD bRo To Be BeTtEr, So ThAt’S wHaT a MoThErFuCkEr GoTtA dO
GAMZEE: I aM tHe MoThErFuCkEr :oP
NEPETA: :33 < *ac purrs fondly at the display of loyalty towards one’s matesprit*
NEPETA: :33 < *then she gasps, for she never knew that her furriend had a matesprit already!*
NEPETA: :33 < *she ponders, it can’t be! could karkitty possibly…?*
GAMZEE: CaLm YoUr TiTs, SiStEr
GAMZEE: KaRbRo’S sTiLl My PaLeBrO, aNd LiKe ThAt It ShAlL rEmAiN
GAMZEE: GuEsS iT rEaLlY iS FrEsH pIe NeWs
NEPETA: :33 < *ac’s tail sways as she awaits the revelation!*
GAMZEE: BuT wOuLdN’t ThAt SpOiL tHe FuN ;o)
EQUIUS: D -> Nepeta, please respect the Highb100d’s wishes to keep the identity of his matesprit private
EQUIUS: D -> Although, if I may, and only if you allow
EQUIUS: D -> In that case I would remind you that claiming a romantic partner serves for their protection
EQUIUS: D -> Which of course isn’t to assume that a noteworthy Highb100d such as yourself would mi% with a lowb100d in such need
EQUIUS: D -> Unless that is something you are into
EQUIUS: D -> In which case
EQUIUS: D -> That is e%actly relevant to my earlier humble suggestion
GAMZEE: DoN’t YoU wOrRy, I’vE gOt My OwN tWo ClUbKiNdS tO jUgGlE aT aNyOnE hUrTiN’ mY dEaR bRoThEr
NEPETA: :33 < *the identity is narrowing down*
EQUIUS: D -> You are without doubt perfectly capable of e%ercising such manner of first hand protection
EQUIUS: D -> I apologize profusely for implying otherwise
GAMZEE: DoN’t SwEaT iT, bRoThEr
EQUIUS: D -> *sweats more*
EQUIUS: D -> How foolish of me to perspire in the presence of a highb100d, please I insist on being punished for such misconduct
GAMZEE: …
GAMZEE: AlRiGhT
GAMZEE: I sEnTeNcE yOu To ThE eNd oF tHiS cOnVeRsAtIoN, hOw’S tHaT?
EQUIUS: D -> A very appropriate form of punishment
EQUIUS: D -> E%cuse us then, we shall find the ablution aisle
NEPETA: :33 < s33 you later, pawsibly! don’t you think i’ll furrget by then!
GAMZEE: WoUlDn’T dOuBt It FoR a SeCoNd ;o)
•••
Another weekend spent at your matesprit’s.
This time you’re sprawled on loungeplanks, cuddlin’ as you watch Pupa Pan. For the umpteenth time, but you tend to fall asleep midway, and you’d never say no to those barkbeast eyes when Tavros asks for a rewatch. Sort of reminds you of afternoons spent with your palebro, who also fancies story tapes.
(You haven’t checked up on your palebro in a while, it occurs to you. Should troll him when you’ve got time. Hope he isn’t too mad about it, that you’ve been a bit selective with your time lately.)
Your hand rests on Tavros’s thigh where his legs are thrown over your lap, while his disappears under your shirt, flat on your stomach. You trace his grubscars, he shivers and presses all up and close.
He’s chirpin’ away. Makes your bloodpusher do all sorts of crazy tricks.
GAMZEE: YoU iN a GoOd MoOd, AlL gIgLiN’ aNd ShIt
GAMZEE: WhAt’S tHaT, pEaNuT bUtTeR?
TAVROS: oH, uM, iTS JUST
TAVROS: yOU’VE BEEN EATING MORE, rIGHT?
TAVROS: tHAT’S A RELIEF }:)
GAMZEE: :o0
GAMZEE: MoThErFuCkIn’ On PoInT, bRoThEr
GAMZEE: YoU a SeEr Or SoMe ShIt?
TAVROS: nO,,
TAVROS: nOT THAT I KNOW OF, aT LEAST,,
TAVROS: i CAN FEEL IT, yOUR BODY, i MEAN
GAMZEE: A rEaL aS fUcK bOdY rEaDeR, sOn Of A mIrAcLe
GAMZEE: YoU fEeLiN’ mE tHeRe?
GAMZEE: TrY tO sQuEeZe
TAVROS: aLRIGHT,,
GAMZEE: HoNk
TAVROS: }:0
TAVROS: }:D
TAVROS: cAN THAT, hAPPEN AGAIN?
GAMZEE: SuRe ThInG, fLuShEd BrO :o)
GAMZEE: HoNk
GAMZEE: HoNk HoNk
GAMZEE: HoNk HoNk HoNk
TAVROS: }:oD
GAMZEE: }:o)
Moving on from your stomach, Tavros lets his hand emerge from under your shirt and brings it up to boop your nose. Motherfucker. You take his hand just to hold it, then without thinkin’ too much about it, you guide it to your lips for a little smoochin’.
Satisfied with the new set of purrs and giggles that brings about, you lead his hand back where it used to rest, under your shirt.
Like a miracle, he understands what you want immediately. Gently runs his fingertips over your chest, all the way up to your bloodpusher, then down your sides along your grub scars.
And then back to your stomach, less so hollow than last time he’s done so. Shit. To think something so small would make him so happy.
Maybe eating well is a good goal, after all, even if you still kind of hate it sometimes. You’ll do your motherfuckin’ best then.