Chapter Text
The Reunion
Plot: It’s been three years since the nation’s girl group B8 went on hiatus to focus on their studies and pursue personal projects. Now, it’s 2031, and they are due for a comeback in time for the group’s 10th anniversary since they were launched back in 2021.
During their hiatus, the group remained tight-knit, always seen together in public but often incomplete. Col and Yloi stayed very close, as they decided to attend the same college and frequently worked on projects together as a duo. Yloi pursued digital arts at UST, while Maco focused on music production.
Sasi studied interior design at CSB while doing side gigs as a model and releasing a couple of rap songs in collaboration with other artists. She remained very close with Jin, who studied journalism at UP Diliman. Jin also used her platform to become an activist and fight for the voiceless. She spent her entire stint at UPD as the school’s courtside reporter in the UAAP.
Sima graduated from SHS in 2025 and pursued a career as a highly successful choreographer and performer. Out of all of them, she was the only one who stayed in the limelight, performing every weekend on ASAP and participating in the World Hip-Hop Dance Championship, winning three years in a row. She has become a household name in the dance community, regarded as one of the best choreographers of all time.
Giev pursued interior design at SoFa and graduated this year, just in time for their comeback. She stayed very close to Sima, often attending her competitions and was the only one able to attend the World Hip-Hop Championship competition in Chicago last year.
Mikee pursued sports science at La Salle and reconnected with her first love—volleyball. She tried out for the team and was part of the university’s Team B in her first year, eventually moving up to Team A in her second year. She’s been the team’s main setter for the last two years, during which they won one championship. She has been very present in the other girls' lives, showing up when her schedule permits. The girls consistently watch her games, albeit sometimes incomplete, to show their support. The last time they were all together was when Mikee and La Salle won the championship in June of 2030. She also graduated the same year and has been very active as part of the team’s coaching staff.
Maya, the oldest of the eight, has remained out of the public eye since their hiatus began. She occasionally updates her social media accounts, so everyone knows she returned to Cebu to manage their business there. She graduated from Enderun just before the group went on break, so she had all the time in the world to do whatever she wanted—and that’s exactly what she did. She settled for a more private and quiet life in Cebu. She would come back to Manila to attend the girls' gigs and events, but would often appear aloof when Mikee is present. No one really knew what happened, but towards the end of their farewell tour 3 years ago, everyone noticed Mikee and Maya distancing themselves from each other. It wasn’t a surprise at first, since it was known within the fandom that the two has been trying to keep their interactions lowkey in public, due to some delusional fans who would often disrespect the other girls just to capture a moment or two from them, but on the last 3 legs of their tour, it was different. Something changed.
Chapter 1 - Baguio
It was the 5th stop of B8’s regional farewell tour. They were scheduled for 8 performances around the country, ultimately wrapping up at MOA Arena, before they take a much needed break. They arrived at the Baguio Country Club where they would stay for 3 days. Everyone was at the lobby, waiting to be checked in and assigned to their rooms.
—-
Jin: Okay guys, wait lang natin si Ms. MQ, sinosort lang daw yung room assignments. Magbabago pa ba tayo roomies or the usual na lang?
Maco: The usual na lang, Jin. Para hindi na magulo.
[All the girls agreed in unison, except for Mikee and Maya]
Jin: Kayo, ate Maya? Mikee? G na kayo sa room assignments?
Maya, sounding defeated but did not want to cause a scene, said “Yes, Jin, Okay na yan. Para makapahinga nadin tayo.”
With her eyes closed, leaning on the headrest of the sofa they were sitting in, Mikee gave a slight nod.
—-
After about 15 minutes, they all got their room numbers and they all went to their respective rooms.. Maco and Yloi were roomates, as well as Gieve & Sima, Jin & Sasi and Mikee and Maya. They were all staying at the 17th floor of the hotel, so they were all treated with a nice view from the veranda.
It was 6PM when they arrived, and they were only able to settle into their respective rooms at around 6:30PM. With no dinner yet, they were all visibly grumpy and exhausted. Before they all closed the doors to their rooms, Jin let out an announcement:
Jin (in a loud voice): GIRLS, DINNER AT 8PM! LAHAT NASA LOBBY NA HA?? PLEASE LANG GUTOM NA AKO!
Sasi: Sus, kelan ka ba hindi gutom, Jin?
Jin did not answer, but gave Sasi a stern look. Sasi knew she wasn’t in the mood, so she didn’t push it anymore.
—-
Interior: Room 1701 (Mikee & Maya’s Room)
Mikee held the keycard to the door and opened it all the way through. Maya was right behind her, waiting for her chance to enter. Mikee held the door open after getting all of her luggages inside, so Maya could enter comfortably.
Maya, seemingly emotionless, but was just really tired from the trip, let out a very quiet “Thank you.”
Mikee, noticing the sadness in her voice but not wanting to address the actual reason for it, just nodded and let out a slight smile in the corner of her lips.
They spent the next 10 minutes in total silence. The only sound that can be heard was that of their luggages being opened, things being unloaded on top of their beds and tables, and the occasional footsteps when one of them would go to the bathroom to set up their hygiene kits on the counter. Since it was a 5-star hotel, their bathroom was spacious and was provided with 2 separate sinks, mirrors and a bathtub. “And cute. Parang pang couple” Mikee thought to herself.
She stared at her reflection on one of the mirrors and began to picture herself and Maya brushing their teeth together in the morning, right when they wake up. And at night, just before they go to bed, after their usual midnight snack and movie marathons. It made her smile, but not for long. She averted her gaze to the sink and shook her head. “Nope. Nope. Not going to happen. You’ve missed your chance, Mikee. It’s too late. You’re too late. Maya doesn’t see you like that. Not anymore” she tells herself out loud, thinking she was all alone at the moment.
But just as she looks up again in the mirror, she sees Maya’s reflection behind her. She froze and did not know what to do, since she was sure Maya heard her self reflection seconds ago.
Maya, on the other hand, just stood there, her face emotionless but her eyes filled with questions she’s been meaning to ask Mikee, but has never had the courage to do so. She was studying Mikee’s face in the mirror; the look of horror when she realized Maya was there – it made Maya smile for a bit, but she didn’t let it show. She hasn’t been feeling herself lately and she wasn’t sure why. Or she was, but she didn’t want to admit it to herself.
—
Years ago, when they were just starting out, Maya and Mikee instantly clicked. They were inseparable. There was no Mikee if there was no Maya and vise-versa. When they had to stay in one house during the pandemic, they were roommates. And even though Mikee found it hard to sleep without an AC, she compromised with Maya – the girl who seemingly had a thin layer of skin and would often get cold immediately. The agreement was the AC would be turned on for 4 hours and timed, so that it automatically dies at around 2-3AM and the fan would automatically turn on after. Maya told Mikee she could just stay with the other girls downstairs, but Mikee did not want to be away from her, so she stayed.
Their relationship blossomed as the years went by. They became each other’s confidant; each other’s safe space. When the pressure to perform in school and in the group’s activities became too high, they leaned on each other to make it through. They were also each other’s cheerleaders. It made it easier for them to go through everything, because they knew they did not need to go through it alone. Everything was going well; B8 debuted publicly and they started gaining traction in the general public. Their fanbase, whom they fondly tagged as ‘buds’ grew larger and larger by the day. Their schedule started to become hectic with guestings and performances. It was all overwhelming, but at the same time exciting, since this is what they’ve been waiting for all these years of tireless training day in and day out.
Their bond grew ever more profound, with each glance during their performances a silent testament to their deep affection. In those moments, their eyes locked with an unspoken love, radiating warmth and devotion that spoke volumes. It was innocent to them, at first. The glances, the smiles, the ‘looking out for each other’ after a song, where they would wipe each other’s faces with tissue paper, asking each other if they’re okay and immersing themselves in their own little world. It was normal for them; almost automatic. It was like breathing. You don’t even notice you’re doing it, but it keeps you alive. So to them, it wasn’t an issue. But to everyone else from the outside looking in, it was something else. And that was a problem.
—
Interior: Room 1702 (Maco and Yloi’s Room)
Maco: Loi, napansin mo yung dalawa kanina? (pertaining to M&M)
Yloi: Onga eh. Medyo awkward no? Okay lang kaya sila? Wala naman kasi silang nakukwento.
Maco: Ramdam ko nga din eh. Ayoko naman magtanong. Baka naooverwhelm lang sila kasi syempre, medyo emotional tong farewell tour. Daming uncertainties.
Yloi: Yun nga din naisip ko. Pero col, tagal na natin magkakasama. Ultimo mga utot natin alam na natin ang amoy. May iba sa kanila eh. Tingin mo tungkol parin dun sa dating issue? Hindi parin kaya nila naaayos yon?
Maco: Pwede. Hindi nadin kasi talaga nabalik yung dating M&M after non eh no? I mean, pag tayo tayo lang, okay naman sila. Pero publicly, talagang halos hindi nag uusap eh. Kaso ngayon, parang kahit tayo tayo lang, ilap parin.
Yloi: Yun nga. Haaay. Kung ano man yon, sana maayos nila. Ang pangit naman mag break tayo ng hindi sila okay. :(
Maco: Sus, oo naman. Magiging okay din yung dalawang yun. Yun pa ba? Kaya nila yan. Anyway, lika na nga dito, cuddle tayo bago kumain. Sakit katawan ko sa byahe.
Maco proceeds to sit on the bed with her arms stretched out, waiting for Yloi to come over and hug her.
Yloi: Alam mo, kung alam lang ng mga tao kung gano ka pa-baby pag tayong dalawa lang, masisira yang maangas mong image.
Maco: Aba dapat lang. Kailangan imentain ang image ko no. Tsaka sayo lang naman ako lumalambot. Sayo ko lang gusto ipakita tong side ko na to. Hindi na to for public consumption! Aba, magtira naman sila ng para sa’kin no. Lahat nalang alam na nila. Ito, para sa’kin lang to.
She says, as she wraps her arms around Yloi’s waist, who made her way closer. Maco then decided to scootch over the bed so they can lie down for a bit before dinner. Yloi immediately relaxes on Maco’s arms. She felt peaceful and happy behind closed doors.
They’ve been secretly dating each other for the last 2 years. They never told the girls or anyone else. They figured they didn’t have to, as long as they kept their commitment to the group and did not let their relationship affect their commitments, they would be a-ok. And that was mostly true. They only had one close encounter to being discovered when they had a big fight that one time, after a performance at a mall show where Maco kneeled down in front of Jin in the middle of their song to apologize for something she said earlier in the day that made the leader upset, unbeknownst to everyone including Yloi, and it made her extremely jealous that she ignored Maco until they got home. All of the girls were confused as to why Yloi was acting that way, since it was very out of character, but Maco made an excuse that she was just not feeling well and they bought that.
—
Flashback conversation.
Interior. Maco’s condo. Night.
Maco: Loi, let’s talk nga muna please. She said in a calm tone.
Yloi: Wag mo kong ma-let’s talk, let’s talk jan. Ano yon, col? Para san yon? May pa-grand gesture agad. Akala mo jowang sinusuyo!
Maco: Loi, wag ka na magalit. Ginawa ko lang yon kasi ayoko ng lumaki pa yung issue. Kasalanan ko din naman kasi pumitik ako kay Jin kanina. She was asking me bakit daw tayo na lang palagi lumalabas, hindi na tayo nag aaya sa kanila. Sabi pa nya “baka mamaya, may something na jan ah..” kaya defense mechanism ko, sungitan ko sya. Ayoko lang naman masira to, Loi. Kung anong meron tayo ngayon. Kaya nag sorry nalang ako sa kanya sa paraan na hindi nya ako mahihindian. Sorry na, please. Patawarin mo na ako. 🙁
Yloi: sigh ang akin lang naman Col, isama mo ko sa mga plano mo. Sabihin mo sakin pag may problema, hindi yung gagawa ka ng ganyan ng hindi ko alam, eh involved naman pala ako sa dahilan. Alam mo namang ayaw na ayaw kong na-bblind side ako. Of all people, ikaw pa talaga.
Maco: I know, I know. I’m sorry. Last minute lang din pumasok yon sa isip ko kaya hindi ko na nasabi. Sorry talaga hindi na mauulit. Patawarin mo na ako please, ayoko matulog sa sala. Malamok 🙁
Yloi knew she wouldn’t be able to resist Maco, her Col, as she fondly calls her. She knew Maco had good intentions, but she couldn’t help but feel jealous that she couldn’t do the same for her. Although she understands the circumstances they were in, it was still difficult at times that they cannot share their love to the world as freely as they wanted to. And this was one of those times.
Yloi went over to Maco, who was staring at her with guilty eyes and pouty lips. She knew it was over once she pulls that one out.
Yloi: Dinadaan mo nanaman ako jan sa pa-labi mo ah. Alam na alam mong hindi ko yan natitis. Haist. Nakakainis ka, alam mo ba yon?
She says, as she places her palms on each of the other girl’s cheeks. This made Maco grin, and she wraps her arms around Yloi’s waist while she rests her chin on her belly button, looking up.
Maco: I know. Pero mahal mo parin ako kahit nakakainis ako, diba? She said smiling.
Yloi: Oo na. Talo na ko. Iyong iyo. She says, as she hugs Maco back, wrapping her arms on the other girl’s head and giving her a forehead kiss.
—
Interior: Room 1701 (Mikee & Maya’s Room)
Mikee averted her gaze back to the sink and out of panic, decided to wash her hands for no reason, trying to pretend the awkward encounter did not happen. Maya was contemplating if she would address what she heard or play the same game and just pretend she didn’t hear anything. After a few seconds, she decided it can wait; so she proceeded to put her bathroom essentials on the left side of the sink instead and broke the ice.
Maya: San kaya tayo kakain? I’m hungry na.
Mikee (grateful that she wasn’t put on the spot about her ramblings earlier): Me din. I’m not sure kay Jin, pero at this point, hindi na ako choosy and I’d eat anything. Grabe din yung byahe natin no? Nakatulog ka ba sa van?
Maya: I tried and nakakuha naman ng konting tulog, but putol putol eh. Ikaw, I wouldn’t ask na. You had your mouth open pa nga e. She said, while smiling widely, showing her dimples and scrunching her nose lightly.
Mikee: I was so tired kaya! I was up all night e. Also, pano mo naman nalaman nakabuka mouth ko? Ikaw ah! You were staring at me while I was asleep, no?
Maya, a little embarrassed, managed to hold her composure and said: Feeling naman? Hahahaha katabi kasi kita so kita ko talaga, okay? She said, while playfully rolling her eyes.
Mikee: Yiee, hindi na lang kasi aminin you were watching me sleep! It’s okay, Maya. I know you enjoy the view.
Maya (feeling defeated): Fine! Well, you always look so peaceful when you sleep. It’s one of those times I feel like you’re truly relaxed and free of worries eh. It rubs off on me seeing you like that. Walang iniisip. She said, looking at the other girl directly in the eye and smiling.
Mikee felt her cheeks turn red and finally let out a genuine smile, looking back at Maya’s eyes.
They held that moment for a while, recognizing they don’t usually get that much freedom to express themselves without the fear of being policed and judged by other people. They did not need words to say what they’ve been holding in for a while now. They knew they were both longing and yearning for each other, but there’s too much at stake at the moment. And they’ve decided to just put it off for now and enjoy little moments like this, when there’s just the two of them, safe inside the walls of this bathroom, inside this hotel room, where they’re safe.
–
Interior: Room 1703 (Sasi & Jin’s Room)
Jin was tired and hungry; a perfect combination for chaos. Sasi knew this, so she stayed quiet and just unpacked her stuff quietly with great struggle, since she had a lot she wanted to talk about with Jin, but she knew the other girl was not in the mood. Jin noticed Sasi was giving her space and felt guilty with the way she acted earlier, so she went over and hugged Sasi from behind and rested her chin on her shoulder blades. Sasi melted in her arms and immediately closed her eyes, letting out a deep sigh, while bringing her hands up to touch the other girl’s hands on her waist.
Sasi: Masungit ka pa?
Jin: Sorry. Sobrang exhausted lang. She says, while her eyes were closed, taking a deep breath.
Sasi: It’s okay. I understand naman. Di bale, kakain na tayo soon. You’ll feel better then, for sure! She replied, as she tries to get out of the hug, but Jin pulled her tighter.
Jin: Wait lang, I need this. We need this. Konti pa, please?
Sasi did not retaliate. She gave in and they stayed in that position for a while. She knew Jin was right. They need this. It’s been a very emotional couple of weeks for the girls, with the regional tour almost to its end and their future hanging in the balance. Sasi wanted the moment to last longer, but she knew they were in borrowed time, so she couldn’t really give in and enjoy the moment completely.
—
Sasi and Jin’s relationship started out rocky. Back in their training days, they didn’t really click right away. Jin was a born leader, so she was used to taking control and keeping everything in order, while Sasi, who grew up as a single daughter who was always the center of attention, was not used to being ordered around. She never really hated Jin, but she didn’t like her either.
Not until one morning at the B8 House, Jin and Sasi were the first ones to wake up so they had to cook for everyone – a rule they had where the first pair to wake up for the day is assigned to cook breakfast for everyone and the last ones down, will be the dishwashers – they were both staring at the pans in front of them, contemplating. See, they both grew up without siblings, so they were treated as princesses of their own households; which also meant they never had to cook, because their parents would always do that for them.
After what felt like eternity, Sasi went over to the fridge and took out the eggs, hotdogs and ham. She laid them out perfectly on the counter and took out some plates to put them on. Jin was just watching her do all of these things, still frozen on where she was standing, since she wasn’t sure if she and Sasi can actually pull this through.
Jin: Marunong ka magluto?
Sasi: Mukha ba akong marunong magluto? She said in a sarcastic tone, but laughed it off afterwards. Hindi ako marunong, pero willing to try naman! Magtiyaga sila sa sunog, if all else fails. Tanghali sila gumising eh! Lol
Jin: Tama naman! She said, while laughing as well. Tayo pa talaga nagsabay eh no? Malay ba natin dito! Nanay ko nga hindi ako inuutusan sa bahay namin.
Sasi: Ahhhh kaya naman pala kung maka utos ka samin, sagad eh no? Prinsesa yan?
Jin: Oy, grabe ka naman! Pag practice lang naman ako nag uutos no. Para din naman matapos tayo agad. Pero outside practices, di ko naman kayo minamandohan eh. She said in her pleading voice, trying to get sympathy and validation.
Sasi: Oo na, oo na. Wag ka na magpa cute dyan. Tulungan mo nalang ako dito, baka magising na sila, wala pang pagkain! Goodluck nalang talaga hahahaha
Jin: Okay sige. Let’s do this!
The unlikely pair managed to cook breakfast for everyone, but not without incidents in between. While breaking some eggs into the heated pan, Sasi placed it too high above that it splashed a bit of burning oil everywhere, including parts of her fingers. She screamed in pain and Jin quickly went over to take a look and immediately ran her fingers under running water to ease the pain. Sasi saw another side of Jin that she hasn’t seen before – the thoughtful and empathetic Jin, who quickly came over beside her when she had her little kitchen accident; the Jin who was willing to figure out how to cook for the first time, just so she wouldn’t have to do it all on her own. Her favorite Jin out of all though? The pouty Jin who was even sadder than she was, when she saw the damage she incurred in the incident.
Jin: I’m so sorry! Okay ka lang ba? Your poor fingers. 😣 She said, while blowing air into the other girl’s wounds.
Sasi: Bakit ka nag sosorry? Mantika ka ba? HAHAHA Okay lang ako ano ka ba! Malayo sa bituka! Hehehe pero mejo painful ng konti. Mawawala din naman siguro to mamaya. Dami pa natin need lutuin oh!
Jin: Ay no na, ako na jan. Umupo ka nalang don and set the plates.
Sasi: Sure ka ba? Kaya ko naman eh
Jin: Yes, I’m sure. Para din matry ko naman no! Baka sabihin mo wala naman akong ambag. She said, while laughing.
Jin finished cooking the rest of the food. It wasn’t perfect, some parts of the hotdog was burnt a little, but it was edible. Everyone eventually went downstairs to eat and they were all surprised to see the two waiting, breakfast laid out, talking in peace.
Maco: Aba, ang tahimik nyo ata? Himala, hindi kayo nagbabangayan today?
Jin: Friends na kami no. Pagkatapos ng pinag daanan namin today, nakapag trauma bonding na kami!
Sasi: Tama! Hindi na daw ako aawayin ni Jin forever and ever! Weeee
Jin and Sasi looked at each other for a split second and bursted into laughter. It was the first time they all heard Jin laugh that loud. She was usually holding it together; but Sasi’s high pitched laugh was contagious and Jin couldn’t help herself. After all, they did just share a moment.
—
Interior: Room 1704 (Sima & Gieve’s Room)
Right as they enter their hotel room, Sima immediately jumps on top of the bed and plops face down. She was very exhausted and wanted to stretch her legs to try and get some proper nap before they went down and ate. Gieve couldn’t help but smirk and laugh a bit at the other girl’s antics.
Sima: Bebe, nap lang me.
Gieve: Okay po. I’ll wake you up when it’s time to eat. Pahinga ka muna.
Sima: Di mo ko tatabihan? 🙁
Gieve: Maya maya, bebe. Need ko ayusin stuff natin, para deretso sleep na tayo mamaya.
Sima no longer responded. She has fallen into a rem sleep immediately. A talent Gieve has always admired about her.
Sima has always been a ball of energy. No one would think she had to grow up at such a young age, after losing her mom and never having met her father. Everyone often wondered how she managed to still be the way she is, after everything; full of love and positive energy. But people closest to her knew why – it was because of Gieve.
—
Gieve and Sima grew up together in a little town in Bicol. They shared everything to each other – secrets, mistakes, aspirations and dreams. That’s why when the opportunity came to audition for B8, Sima made sure she brought Gieve with her and she wouldn’t take no for an answer.
They went through everything together, too – heartbreaks, rejections and failures. They made a pact that if one of them wasn’t chosen, none of them would go. They didn’t have to make a choice though, since both of them passed the auditions in flying colors. Gieve, despite her introverted personality, was a monster performer. It’s like she has a switch that she flicks once she steps on to the stage. Sima, on the other hand, is a dance prodigy. Both of them were immediately called for callbacks and the rest was history.
Gieve is almost the complete opposite of Sima, in terms of personality. She’s quiet, timid and keeps to herself most of the time. She would have little spurts of energy here and there, but only because she often tries to match Sima’s energy. Ever since they were little, Sima would always drag her to places. She hated it at first, since she would rather spend her day indoors and play on her own, but Sima and her energy was just too much for Gieve to say no to. Eventually, she started looking for it and in the end, she realized she can never be without it.
—
Dinner time finally came. Everyone was at the lobby by 7:45PM, evidently hungry and exhausted. The last ones to arrive were Jin and Sasi.
Jin: Wow, on time lahat ah? Let’s go na. Nagpa reserve na daw si Ms. MQ sa Japanese resto sa tapat.
Everybody stood up in unison and started heading out of the hotel. As usual, they walked in pairs. Jin and Sasi, with their arms intertwined and their hands in their pockets. Sima and Gieve holding hands; Maco had her arms on Yloi’s shoulder, while the other girl wrapped her arms on Maco’s waist.
Mikee and Maya, on the other hand, were walking behind everybody else. They had their hands in their own pockets, separated by a tiny space between them. Mikee had her eyes on the concrete, while Maya would steal glances of the girl. “ God, I miss her. I miss feeling her closer to me. I miss us.” She thought to herself. She couldn’t remember the exact time they started drifting apart and honestly, she didn’t want to remember.. But as a professional overthinker, she couldn’t help herself. They never really talked about it and she never understood why, but it was like one day, Mikee woke up and started ignoring her for no reason.
She tried to playfully address it one time, asking the other girl why she wasn’t paying her any attention or even looking at her direction when they would perform – a very unusual thing for the two of them – but Mikee dismissed it as her being tired and just wanting to concentrate on the performance. Maya wanted to pry, but feeling defeated and invalidated, she decided to let it go.
She tried to re-establish their relationship after that, asking Mikee out to hang out and have dinner with her or go somewhere relaxing, just the two of them, but Mikee would shut her down everytime and would always have a reason not to go. Eventually, Maya got tired of trying and decided to just go with the flow and give Mikee her space.
—
Flashback
Interior. B8’s Management office. Morning.
Maya was surprised upon arriving at the management’s office. She thought it was a meeting for all eight of them, but she was the only one there. Direk LD and Ms. MQ was there and asked her to come in. She started getting cold sweats and her heart started pounding, but she tried not to show it and kept her cool.
Maya: Good Morning po, Direk! Ms. MQ! Ano pong meron? Am I in trouble po?
Direk LD: Good morning, Maya! No, you’re not in trouble. Whatever it is you’re thinking, stop it na. I know how your mind works and you’ve already made up a hundred reasons as to why you’re here and most likely, all of them are negative. So to calm you down, I’m here to tell you that you’re not in trouble, ok? We just need to talk to you about Mikee.
Instead of calming down, the mention of Mikee made her overthink more. “What could this be about? Is Mikee okay? Why are they talking to me so formally about Mikee? How serious is this?..” She was lost in her own thoughts when Direk LD continued.
Direk LD: We’ve been noticing kasi how you guys are very close to each other. We know what you guys have is genuine and having spent years in one house, sharing a room together, the bond is there for sure. But it’s starting to gain a lot of attention and it’s taking away from the entire group na. This was very evident from the last 3 shows you guys had. Every little interaction you and Mikee would have on stage makes people go crazy – to the point that the other girls are being ignored na. I know it’s not your intention at all or anything and this is not on you or Mikee; the girls don't mind it either kasi sa kanila, it’s normal lang. But we need to ask you both to just tone it down a bit. Am I making sense?
Maya: Direk, what do you mean tone it down? Do you want us to pretend we’re not okay and just start ignoring each other, ganon? Kasi I can already tell you it’s not going to happen and it might cause more uproar since wala naman kaming problema ni Mikee.
Direk LD: I know, Maya. I know. Believe me, I’m not enjoying this conversation either, but if this goes on, it might start to affect the other girls narin. We’ve been watching you guys’ lives and some of your fans are already being rude to the other girls kapag hindi kayo magkatabi, hindi kayo magkasama. It’s not nice and it’s unfair as well for the entire group if all your hard work will be deduced to just you and Mikee, no?
Maya did not reply immediately. She was contemplating. Direk LD had a point. The situation is starting to get out of control to the point that her and Mikee can’t be seen out in public without sparking dating rumors and causing a scene. But she’s feeling torn about the whole ‘tone it down a bit’ thing since she didn’t want anything to change between her and Mikee. She’s her confidant, her safe space. How can she possibly pretend that suddenly, she isn’t?
Direk LD: Maya, I know this is too much to ask. And it’s not fair for you and Mikee either. We’re not saying you guys should stop talking or not go out in public ng kayo lang. Just tone it down a bit, kahit kapag may cameras lang. In private, you girls can be who you are. Just until the fans calm down, yeah?
Maya: Okay, direk. I’ll try my best but I won’t promise anything. Did you talk to Mikee about this also?
Direk LD: No, we haven’t. We decided to talk to you first, since you’re older. And we thought it might be better if it came from you. Since you can make Mikee understand. And she can be candid and tell you exactly how she feels about the situation. We know that if we talk to her on our own, Mikee being the way she is, would just agree and nod, since she doesn’t want to inconvenience other people. And ayaw naman namin yon. Can we count on you for this?
Maya did not know how to feel about all this, but Direk is right. Mikee, being a selfless person through and through, would just agree and keep her own emotions to herself, which is worse. So she decided it would be better to talk to Mikee on her own.
Maya: Okay po, direk. I’ll talk to Mikee. I’m not making any promises here. I know the intention is good and the last thing we want is to make it uncomfortable for the other girls na din, but I also want to reiterate that me and Mikee are not doing anything wrong. Hindi naman po namin kayang diktahan ang isip ng mga tao and whatever we do, they will jump into whatever conclusions they want anyway. I just don’t think doing this would help, but we can try. Is that all po ba, direk? I think I need to go.
Direk LD: Thank you, Maya. And yes, you can go.
Maya left almost immediately, clearly unhappy about the conversation they just had. She was very confused and frustrated. Admittedly, people have paid more attention to her and Mikee recently but they didn’t think it was harmful. She thought people were just really drawn to their chemistry and their genuine friendship. “ Friendship.. Yeah. Friendship.” She muttered to herself. There’s a lot more to unpack here, but that’s not her priority right now. All she wanted to do at the moment was go to Mikee and talk to her. A hug would help as well.
—
Interior. Mikee’s condo. Lunch time.
There were three soft knocks on the door. Mikee knew it was Maya, so she went over quickly and opened it.
Mikee: Hi babi!!! What’s wrong? What happened? She asked worriedly. Maya only ever calls her by her name on two occasions: when she did something wrong to upset her or they need to talk about something seriously. Maya knows it’s a trigger and hates using it, but this was pretty serious.
Maya made her way in, not answering right away. She went to the dining table and sat down.
Maya: Mikee, take a seat. We need to discuss something. She said in a soft but stern voice.
Mikee went over and sat across the table, deciding it may not be a good time to sit too close to Maya. It was also her way of letting the other girl know she wasn’t a fan of hearing her name. She waited until the other girl spoke.
Maya: I just came from ABS. I had a meeting with Direk and Ms. MQ. We talked about you and me and how we’re gaining a lot of attention these days that it’s overshadowing the group na. And they’re asking us to tone it down a bit..
Mikee tilted to the side and scrunched her face so hard that her forehead started to crease; a thing she does when she doesn’t understand what’s happening or what’s being talked about.
Maya, sensing the confusion from her face, decided to wait until she responded.
Mikee: What do you mean, tone it down? Tone down what exactly? We’re not doing anything wrong naman diba? We’re not breaking any rules either.
Maya: I know I know. I told them that as well. But they have a point. You noticed how the crowd goes crazy when we talk on stage diba? Or even just stand close to each other? To the point na hindi na nila pinapakinggan yung girls. It’s quite rude to be honest.
Mikee: Okay, that one I get. Medyo OA nga talaga yung ibang BUDS when we do things together.. But do we really have to change our ways to please them? From the start naman, ganito na tayo diba? Nothing changed between us. Pre-debut and until now, we’re still the same M&M.
Maya, feeling the frustration in the other girl’s voice and feeling overwhelmed with her own emotions, let out a big sigh and proceeded to bury her face in her hands. “ I know, babi. I know. Haay ewan ko din. Hindi ko din alam. Ang alam ko lang, ayokong maka apekto sa girls kung ano man tong meron tayo. Ayoko tong mawala.” She said, trying hard not to burst because she knows it won’t help the situation.
Mikee: Hey, hey, come here.
She stretched her arms and reached out for Maya’s hands. She knew resisting won’t help, and bombarding her with questions would only make her feel worse. So she did what she does best – set aside her own emotions to keep the peace.
Mikee: Okay, okay. Tell me what’s the plan then?
Maya: I honestly don’t know. I’m so confused right now and frustrated. Why did it have to come to this? Why is this all happening? Babi, you know I’m not good at pretending. I’m not good at keeping my emotions in check. I’m an open book. I don’t want to —-
Maya was cut off when Mikee stood up, went over to her side of the table and hugged her.
Suddenly, her mind was quiet and everything stood still. They stayed that way for a while, until they decided to head over to the couch. Mikee asked her to lay down with her head on her legs and started caressing her head and her hair – something that always calmed her down. They eventually fell asleep like that.
It was past 6PM when they woke up. Mikee opened her eyes first and gently nudged Maya.
Mikee: Babi, wake up. Let’s have dinner na.
Maya took a few seconds before she opened her eyes. She had to remember where she was and what she was doing there. She felt too calm and comfortable that she began suspecting she was missing something.. After a few more minutes, it hit her. “Ah. Yes. Mikee’s Condo. Conversation with Direk. Tone it down a bit.” She thought to herself. Way to ruin the moment, brain.
Maya: Can we stay like this longer? Ayoko pa harapin ang mundo. Nakakatakot. Dito, okay tayo. Dito, tahimik lang. Tayo lang. Hindi magulo.
She said, as she turns ninety degrees to her left, she's facing Mikee’s tummy. She started playing with the strings of her hoodie. Mind empty. At peace.
Mikee: We can, babi. But eventually, we both know we have to face this. It’s better to get it over now, so we can fast forward to better days, yeah?
Maya couldn’t help but smile a little. She couldn’t believe how matured Mikee has become.
Quite frankly, she’s taking it better than Maya did earlier. “Me and my hyperspeed overthinking skills..” she thought.
Maya: When did you get so smart and mature?? Labas mo yung babi ko please. Don’t be so grown up naman uy. 🙁
Mikee lets out a chuckle. Maya may be older by a couple of years, but she’s always been the baby.
Mikee: I’m still here. I never left. I never will. 🙂 Now let’s get some food na kasi I’m starving!
Maya: Okay, alright.. Getting up now. But we still have to come up with a game plan.
Mikee lets out a sigh. She’s not looking forward to that conversation, but she knows it’s necessary. “..as long as we do it together, we’ll be okay babi..” she says out loud.
—
Interior. Baguio Convention Center. B8’s Regional Farewell Tour.
Jin: *2-3* Mabuhay! Kami po ang B8! (the girls says in unison), and welcome to our farewell tour here in Baguio!
Maco: Parang ang lungkot naman ng farewell, Jin!!!
Jin: I know, I know! Pero don’t be sad guys. Magpapahinga lang kami. Sandali lang yon. Magpa-miss naman tayo sa isa’t isa! Baka nagsasawa na kayo samin eh.
CROWD: NO!!! NEVER!! HINDI!!!
Jin: Awwwww thank you guys! Pero yes, don’t worry. This is not goodbye, this is see you later lang! Hehehe ready na ba kayo for our performances tonight? May mga surprises din kami for you all!
Yloi: Yes!! Madaming surprises! Sino kaya ang lalayag? Sino kaya ang lulubog ngayong gabi?
Sasi: Grabe naman yung lulubog Ate Yloi!!!! Walang lulubog!!!
Sami: Tama! Lahat lalayag. OT8 HANGGANG???
CROWD: DULO!!!!
Jin: Yaaaaan! Tama! Sama sama tayo. Okay girls, ready?
Everyone went into position and they opened the show. They performed a medley of their upbeat songs to pump the crowd up. After the first number, everybody went backstage for some quick change. The hosts went on to entertain the crowd for a bit.
Interior. Backstage. Baguio Convention Center. B8’s Regional Farewell Tour.
Jin: Nice work everyone! Keep the energy up! Gagaling nyo talaga!
Everyone was busy changing and moving around for retouch and clean up, but they all recognized their leader’s comments individually. Yloi and Maco was busy fixing each other’s clothes, while Sasi, Gieve and Sima were taking turns fixing each other’s make up. Jin was drinking water and drying her face up with tissue.
Maya and Mikee were in a corner, in their own little world, even though they weren’t talking.
Maya was struggling to zip up her dress, but she was too stubborn to ask Mikee for help – so she kept trying to do it on her own, not knowing Mikee’s been watching her from the corner of her eyes. Mikee’s been keeping her distance for a while now, and the little interaction they had in the bathroom earlier was the most they’ve had in months. This means she hasn’t been trying to do the little things she’s been so used to doing for Maya, and it has been a struggle, but she felt like she has to stand her ground.. “Except tonight,” she thought. “..Maybe just for tonight..” she added.
So she went over and reached out to Maya and gently touched her hands that were struggling to zip up her dress from behind, and did it herself. She felt the electricity running up her body after that, but she kept it in. Maya felt it too and she froze for a bit. She was only brought back to reality when the producer shouted they had 5 minutes left before they got back on stage.
Maya: Thank you, ba – she caught herself. She tried again. Thank you, Mikee.
Mikee almost had a heart attack. She heard it. After months of not hearing it, she heard it. And even though Maya stopped herself mid-sentence, Mikee knew what she wanted to say. It made her smile.
Everybody went back on stage to continue the show. They performed all their hits and had their own individual numbers as well. Mikee and Maya’s numbers were right after each other, so they never really had a chance to watch either’s performances except during rehearsals. But tonight, the line up was different and Maya’s performance was after Mikee, Yloi and Sima. So she thought maybe it’s the perfect time to watch and appreciate the other girl’s number. She went to the side of the stage just as the music started playing. First three notes and she immediately knew what song it was.
Mikee would often perform rock songs on her solos, but tonight was different. Since it was their farewell tour afterall, they were allowed to change their song numbers to whatever they wanted.
So she chose a different song. A special one, she thought.
Mikee is not good at fully expressing her thoughts and feelings physically, so she would often use songs to explain herself. And this particular one she chose to perform was special. But only one other person knew why.
*The intro to Ruin My Life by Zolita starts playing*
The crowd was silent in anticipation of the performance; Mikee expected this, since she’s performing an acoustic number tonight and she wanted everyone to hear every word. She closed her eyes and sang the opening words. “ I think I'm gonna crash my car / 'Cause I can't keep my eyes on anything, but you / Run away with no regard for the rest of the world, 'Cause the rest of the world isn't you..”
The crowd started putting out their phones and turning on their flashlights; Mikee opened her eyes and smiled at the view. She continued singing; and although everyone was watching her, she felt a strong pair of eyes seemingly burning holes on her face. She scanned the crowd a bit and to her surprise, she saw Maya at the bottom side of the stage, staring directly at her. She returns the stare, just as the chorus hits.
“I wanna fuck off every one of my plans / Fall out with every one of my friends,
Burn all of my bridges / I'd kill my career long as you're right here..
I Wanna sneak out of every party / Stop trying to be somebody
Would you come be my downfall? / One look at you and I'd lose it all
I think I'm gonna break my phone and / Let everyone else I know forget me
You're the only one who gets me..”
Maya stood there, frozen in time. She felt like it was just her and Mikee in a staring contest. She’s heard this song before – Mikee played it that one time they decided to go for a drive up the mountains. They parked just beside the cliff and sat on top of the car and listened to this song over and over.
—
Flashback. Exterior. Somewhere in Tagaytay, beside a cliff.
Mikee: Baba, look! I discovered this song earlier and I can’t stop listening to it. I remembered you right away!
Mikee proceeded to play the song from the car, speakers in full since there was no one else there but them. This is one of the things they enjoyed doing together – driving up to places where they can just be at peace.
Maya listens carefully to the song. She loves it when Mikee would introduce her to new music; it’s one of her love languages. And Mikee’s taste has always been superb.
“..wouldn’t mind if you ruin my life..”
Maya: Ay grabe naman to babi, bakit naman ruin my life? Am I ruining your life ba?? :(
Mikee: Babi no!!! You can’t dissect a song like that! Hahaha you have to listen to the entirety of it. It just means I’m willing to give all of this up for you, if that means I get to have you until the end of time.
Maya let out a faint ‘awww’ and pouted a bit. She was emotional. Her and Mikee’s relationship has taken a turn. It’s starting to get super serious and they can both feel they’re about to cross a line – but they’re both too scared to do so. And that’s fine, since they’re not in any hurry anyway. They just want to enjoy whatever they have right now and let the future worry about itself.
She never really thought they’d be in this situation. They did not enter this friendship with the goal of being together romantically; but the best things in life are often those you never saw coming.
Maya: Okay okay, hehehe what’s your favorite line, babi?
Mikee: “..you’re the only one that gets me..” she answers, as she stares into Maya’s eyes intently.
Maya: Same. she says, as they stared into each other’s eyes for a while. No words. They understood.
—
Present. Interior. Baguio Convention Center. B8’s Farewell Tour.
Mikee ends her number. She tries to look for Maya again, but she’s no longer there – she had to go backstage to prepare for the spiels they were going to do.
Mikee: Thank you everyone! I know the song wasn’t super popular, but I appreciate you all for intently listening and flashing me with a beautiful sea of lights! Ang ganda nyo tignan!
Jin, Maco and Gieve enter the stage so Mikee can go back for her quick change, but before they let her leave, they banter.
Maco: Hi everyone! Palakpakan naman natin si Mikee!!! Nagustuhan nyo ba yon? Ang galing nya no?
Jin: Oo nga! Grabe nakaka kilig naman yon, Mikee! Para kanino ba yon ha? Yieeee
Gieve just stood there, mischievously smiling. She knew who it was for. They all knew.
Mikee: Wala! Para sa lahat yon! Ito talaga issue ka nanaman. Magde-delulu nanaman yan sila mga BUDS! Hahahahaha
CROWD STARTS CHANTING: M AND M! M AND M!
Jin, Maco, Gieve and Mikee starts laughing and shouting on the mic: Ang O-OA nyo talaga! LOL
Mikee takes this opportunity to walk backstage and enter their dressing room, where she immediately saw Maya in their little corner; she was staring at her own reflection on the mirror, while Yloi was trying to retouch her make up for her. Her eyes looked puffy and she was evidently crying earlier. Mikee slowly walked over and sat down, while she waited for her next outfit to be ready. Yloi saw her; sensing the tension, she decided to finish the re-touch and walked away.
Maya: Good job, Mikee! You did great out there. Beautiful number. Galing galing mo talaga ah! She said, while trying to pretend she’s fixing something in her dress. She wasn’t. She just didn’t want to begin another staring contest.
Mikee: Thank you! And thank you for watching me ah. I didn’t know you were going to. Sorry for singing that song. I didn’t know you’d be there to see it and if I had known, I would have – before she could continue her speech, Maya stood up to face her.
Maya: Ano ka ba? Don’t apologize. It was a beautiful number. 🙂
Mikee smiles, and so does Maya.
The show ended just a little after 10PM. Everyone quickly changed and went back to their hotel to rest up. They had the next 2 days off before they flew to their next stop – Cebu. Maya’s hometown. She’s very excited about that, since they will be able to explore the city after their scheduled show, as they will be spending four days there.
Since they were all tired, they all opted to have dinner in their own rooms by ordering room service instead of eating out.
—
Interior: Room 1702 (Maco and Yloi’s Room)
Maco: Loi, what do you want for dinner?
Yloi: Ikaw na bahala, Col. Wala na ako energy mag-isip. She said, while removing her clothes and walking over to the bathroom.
Col couldn’t help but stare at her girlfriend. She would often catch herself in moments like this – staring at her blankly, while she’s doing the most mundane thing in the world. Dressing up, removing her make-up, drawing something on her ipad, staring intently at her phone, sleeping, breathing – she still cannot believe she gets to see her in her purest, most vulnerable form. She knows it’s a privilege and she’s grateful for every minute they have together, but she can’t help but be afraid of what the future holds. Once they all start living a life outside of the group. Once their world opens up for new experiences; school, new friends, new faces, new opportunities – what if everything changes? She doesn’t want anything to change. At Least not between her and Yloi.. her Loi. She was busy entertaining her thoughts that she didn’t hear the other girl asking what she ended up ordering.
Yloi: Earth to COL!!!!!! Huy! Naka tulala ka nanaman dyan. Anyare sayo? Okay ka lang?
Maco: Yes, yes. Sorry, nag space out lang ako. Order na lang ako kanin, chicken and lomi. She went over to the hotel phone to make the call.
Yloi continued to watch her. She knows something is bothering Col. But she also knows it’s not the best time to ask. “..Later na lang, while we’re eating..” she said to herself.
The two continued to undress and shower, changing into their pajamas and waiting for dinner to arrive. They settled on the couch close to each other, almost cuddling. Yloi was on her phone, checking photos from the concert, while Maco was staring out the window and enjoying the night lights.
Yloi: Cooool? She said, in her small endearing voice laced with concern.
Maco: Hmm? The other girl answered, still caught in a trance of her own thoughts.
Yloi: What’s wrong?
Maco: Wala naman po, I’m okay. She said unconvincingly. She knows Yloi won’t stop until she speaks her mind, but it was worth a try.
Yloi put her phone down and reached up to the other girls cheek, gently nudging her to look her way. She didn’t ask again. She knows Maco understands what she wants.
Maco, letting out a deep sigh, reached up to hold the other girl’s hand on her cheeks, leaned her head sideways to bury her face in it, squeezed it a bit, while closing her eyes.
Maco: Dami ko lang naiisip. About us. Sa future. What’s going to happen after this? Pag college na tayo. Ganito parin ba tayo? Syempre magiging busy na tayo. Hindi na tayo araw araw magkikita, magkakasama. Madami kang makikilalang ibang tao. Pano kung marealize mo na hindi pala ito yung gusto mo? Hindi ako? Pano kung magkaron ka ng ibang pangarap? Yung hindi ako kasama.. Alam mo namang hindi kita pipigilan diba? Ano man ang gustuhin mo, sosoportahan kita. Mahal kita eh. Nakakatakot lang isipin na may posibilidad pa lang hindi ako yung kasama mo sa pag tupad non..
She said, finally opening her eyes and looking at Yloi’s, who was intently listening to her voice out her concerns. This is one thing she loves about her. She listens. To her. To her thoughts, her fears, her ramblings. She may appear loud and over active in public, but the girls and her knows Yloi is one of the best listeners in the group.
Maco was met with endearing eyes; eyes that tells her it’s okay to have these fears, these thoughts. That she’s not overreacting; she’s not being unreasonable. She’s validated.
Yloi: Col.. My Col. Alam ko namang ang daming uncertainties ahead of us. Ang dami talagang magbabago. At alam ko din naman na kahit anong assurance ibigay ko sayo, hindi mawawala yang agam agam mo. And that’s okay. Hindi ko din naman alam kung anong mangyayari sa future. Kahit ako, ang dami ko ding takot. Pano kung ikaw yung makahanap ng iba? Magbago ng pangarap? Pano kung ayaw mo na pala sa maingay na katulad ko at gusto mo na lang ng mas tahimik? Ang pogi mo pa naman. Ang daming nagkakandarapa sayo!
She said playfully, trying to lighten the mood. Maco couldn’t help but roll her eyes and smile.
Yloi: Pero whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there. With open eyes and open arms, sabi nga ng Incubus! Hahahah pero seriously, I will be. Kailangan lang naman nating piliin ang isa’t isa sa araw araw, diba? And when the time comes na mahirap ng piliin ang mahalin ka or mahirapan ka ng piliin ako, susubukan parin natin diba? Ang importante, pareho tayong nagdedesisyon. Hindi natin sasarilihin. And I believe kaya naman natin yun. We just have to take it one day at a time. Yeah?
Maco couldn’t help but put Yloi in a full embrace, tight. She just knows how to silence the thoughts in her head. This moment, right here, right now – this is the kind of peace she would protect with all her will and all her power. She didn’t need to say anything else. She knew Yloi was right. “..pipiliin ka araw araw, mahal..” she said softly.
They stayed like this until room service arrived.
—
Interior: Room 1703 (Sasi & Jin’s Room)
Jin: Sasi, what do you want for dinner? Heavy ba or light lang?
Sasi (who was still in the bathroom): Heavy!! I’m starving na. I also want Mango Shake!
Jin: Alrighty! One pasta arrabbiata and mango shake for the princess! Coming po! She said playfully out loud. Sasi likes pasta a lot. It’s what she usually eats after performances, when she’s hungry, so Jin knew what to order even though Sasi did not give her any specifics.
Jin called room service and placed their order; pasta and mango shake for Sasi, burger, fries and soda for herself. She then proceeds to remove her makeup in the mirror, while she waits for Sasi to finish taking a shower.
A few minutes later, the other girl comes out of the bathroom, her head covered with a towel while wearing an oversized shirt and short shorts; Jin turns around and scans her outfit for a second.. she realized something and couldn’t help herself.
Jin: Sasi!!!!!!! TSHIRT KO NANANAMAN BA YAN???? She said, screaming lightly while scrunching her face, her eyebrows closer to each other.
Sasi: Yezums!!! You know I love wearing your shirts, Jin. It’s the only ones I can sleep in!!! She answers, while beaming and removing the towel on her head to release her long black hair.
Jin rolled her eyes, but deep inside she was smiling. She acts like she hates it but it’s a sight every time. She doesn’t really mind Sasi using her shirts; she’s so used to it that she almost always over packs, just so she can have enough for herself. She’s tried buying two of each shirt she has, the same exact thing, but it never worked. Sasi would still end up using her shirt. She said it has something to do with how it smells; and knowing it was owned by her, that gives her comfort. She smiles as she remembers.
Sasi: Maligo ka na para fresh ka nadin pagdating ng food! Nag-lag ka nanaman jan, bhie.
Jin was brought back to reality. She went over to the bathroom to shower. After about 25 minutes, she goes out of the bathroom to see Sasi lying face down on one of the beds, her elbows propping her up while a pillow was placed underneath them, while she was on her phone. Jin then went over to the other bed and copied Sasi, checking her phone as well.
A little over 2 minutes went by; Jin was choosing photos to post on her Instagram page and was so into it that she didn’t notice the other girl stand up and come over to her side. Sasi playfully laid on top of Jin’s back, before sliding the lower part of her body on the little space beside her. Sasi’s head rested on Jin’s lower back, just below her shoulder. Jin wasn’t startled anymore; this was normal for them. For some reason, Sasi can’t be without Jin for long periods of time.
Jin: Ang laki laki ng space dun sa kabila, sisiksik pa dito eh. She says, not averting her gaze from her phone. She doesn't really mind; it’s just the way they are – they banter a lot.
Sasi: Ganun talaga. Wala ka namang choice. Kunyari ka pa eh, gusto mo din naman ako lagi naka kapit sayo!
Jin: Kapal? Feeling ka din eh
Sasi: Talk to the hand, Jin! She replies, still on her phone.
After a while, their food arrived and they had dinner. They talked a lot about the concert they just had and their plans for the future – their college, their courses, their plans. People tend to think they’re unserious about life, since they’re always horsing around, but Jin and Sasi are actually very deep people. They just choose who they show it to. They also have fears and aspirations like everybody else; they’re just not very vocal about it with everyone.
Especially Sasi, since she grew up on her own. She wasn’t used to sharing things with other people. But those walls were easily broken down when Jin came along. She found someone she can show her other side to, and be taken seriously at the same time. And she loved that.
She loved being understood. She loved how she doesn’t always have to smile when she’s with Jin; that her silence doesn’t always mean she’s tired or she’s unhappy. Jin understands her silence like no one else can. And her greatest fear is that no one else ever will.
Jin: Anong iniisip? She asks, since she can see Sasi drifting away in her thoughts.
Sasi: Jin, pano kung wala na akong makitang katulad mo? Pano kung wala ng ibang makaka intindi sakin the way you do?
Jin: Wala ka na talagang makikitang katulad ko no! Nag-iisa lang to. Limited edition. 1 of 1 lang!
Sasi rolls her eyes.
Sasi: Seryoso kase. Like, what if once were done with the tour, we go on with our lives, tapos syempre ikaw mag u-UP ka. Ako, mag CSB. Syempre magiging busy ka na, ako din. Hindi pa tayo same school. Pano kung maging “Sasi the Sassy Girl” nalang talaga ako kasi that’s what people think about me anyways?
Jin: Sass, you’re more than that and you know it. If people can see you the way I do, they would know you’re so much more than the kikay sassy girl on stage who’s always energetic and lively. Kung naririnig lang nila yung mga out of this world ideas mo and how good your heart is when it comes to animals, to people in need, they will love you the way I – Jin stuttered a little.
She caught herself just about to confess that she loves Sasi. It’s not new; she has always said out loud how much she adores her; but she has never quite said it the way she was about to – it was different. It was longing; yearning. It had a different meaning, at least in her head. It was an “I love you” reserved for people who see each other as more than friends; Jin has always known deep in her heart that Sasi was more than that to her, but she also knew Sasi would never see her the same way. So she continued her speech, changing her tone. – the way we all do.
With that, Jin lets out a heavy sigh. Sasi didn’t seem to notice – she was caught up in her own head to notice, or at least Jin thought so. But Sasi caught the hesitation in her voice; she was anticipating it – for Jin to finally say it out loud and mean it the way she wanted to. But when she saw the panic in her eyes, Sasi knew she would u-turn and find a way to divert it. And that, she did. Sasi felt disappointed but she wasn’t surprised. Her relationship with Jin has always been simple and complicated at the same time.
Simple – because it was easy. It was safe and it was consistent. It was something she has always relied on time and time again. She knew Jin would always be there for her, whatever happens. She can’t imagine her life without the other girl. All of her fears and insecurities – all of them were centered on losing Jin when they move on from B8. People not treating her the way Jin did; or understand her quirks like she does.. Her greatest fear was not fitting into whatever world Jin would build for herself, once she starts achieving her life long dreams – becoming a journalist, an activist maybe, a woman of substance surrounded by people who shared the same dreams, same interests and same energy. Sasi feared Jin would realize how shallow she was in comparison to them and eventually, as time went by, whatever relationship they have at the moment would fade away.
Complicated – because Jin has always treated her like a princess. She does things for her that she never did for the other girls. Their bond, their connection and their chemistry – it was unmatched. It was good. Too good, that Sasi started questioning her sexuality.
She knew Jin has always been out and open about being bisexual, but Sasi has always been straight as an arrow – or so she thought. She’s only ever dated boys before and they were never serious. She has never been attracted to girls, although she did find some very pretty – it was always about what makeup they used or where they got their wardrobe.. It was never about being connected to them in a romantic way. Never – not until Jin.
Their conversation continued throughout the night, but it was a bit different. After the close confession and the awkward silence that came after, they almost didn’t sleep in one bed that night – something they’ve done for the last 3-4 years.
After their nightly routine, Jin went on her side of the bed, to Sasi’s surprise. With her eyebrows furrowed, she crossed her arms and threw Jin a look. Something along the lines of “if looks could kill” then Jin would have dropped dead right there and then.
Sasi: Bakit ka anjan? Bakit di ka dito? Sasi blurted, using the forbidden technique – baby talk.
Jin: Oh – bakit ka nagpapacute jan?? Dito ako matutulog for a change lang. Jin answered, knowing she was fighting a losing game. It was worth a try, she thought. After all, the awkward silence earlier was weighing heavy on her and she didn’t think Sasi wanted sleep and cuddle together tonight.
Sasi: Ihhhhh naman eh! Tabi tayo. Hindi ako makakatulog nyan eh 🥺🥺🥺
Jin: sigh. Sass, pano pag hindi na tayo magkasama?? Pano ka na?
Sasi: Bakit? San ka pupunta? Iiwan mo na ako?? Still using her baby voice and pouting, hard.
Jin: Ha?? Hindi!! I mean.. Hay nevermind. Problem for another day. Ito na po!! Tabi, dali baka magbago isip ko!! Jin exclaimed, as she walked over to Sasi’s side of the bed in defeat.
A problem for another day.