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Harley has always hated peppermint. Especially the overly sweet artificial Christmas kind that seemed to contaminate everything all December. Candy canes, candles, perfumes, and even his beloved hot chocolate were all at risk of peopermintification tm. Even now as an (almost) adult he would go out of his way to avoid peppermint, that is until he met Peter.
Peter used to love peppermint, after his parents died it would always remind him of the holiday spirit they used to work so hard to make sure he felt. Even if they didn’t celebrate Christmas like the rest of his class. When he was younger every December May would kindly kick Ben out of the kitchen and recruit Peter to “help” her make custom peppermint bark to “surprise” Ben. Even if more often than not the bark turned out inedible it was one of his favorite traditions. After his death Peter tried to make some for May to hopefully cheer her up but before the chocolate could solidify he was running to the toilet to not so elegantly puke his guts out. Not only had the spider bite ruined his life, it had also made him allergic to peppermint.
The universe clearly hates him.
Not too long after Peter and Harley met they found themselves alone at the tower. Pepper had somehow finally dragged Tony into the meetings he’d been neglecting in favor of spending time with his two favorite kids.
“Excuse me young sirs, it seems there has been a delivery” FRIDAY’s monotone voice filled the room
“Thank you FRIDAY, can you bring it up?”
“Of course Mr Parker”
“It’s Peter, you know this”
“I have been instructed to call you Mr Parker until you stop calling Tony Mr Stark”
*cue dramatic sigh* “of course you have”
A few minutes later the elevator beeped signaling the packages arrival.
“NOT IT” Harley exclaimed finally comfy on the ginormous sofa.
“Fine I’ll get it but you’ll pay for this” When Peter came back he was carrying a large rectangular box, on it was a small card with golden letters reading
“Dear Tony Stark, thank you so much for hiring my son, I’m sure Stark industry’s will flourish with him on board. Take these chocolate as a small symbol of my appreciation as well as the generous donation to Stark Industries I have made. You will not regret your decision”
“Ha look at this idiot he didn’t even sign the damn card. Also who the f&@k donates to the company of the person they’re thanking, actually who even thanks someone for giving their son a job. Rich a$$holes that’s who.” Harley joked after quickly skimming the note, his southern drawl slowly rendering his voice as he grows more comfortable with Peter.
“I don’t know I thought it was kind of a sweet gesture, plus Mr Stark is one of those rich buttholes, I mean have you seen the tower?”
“I know and I somehow tolerate him despite it, anyway do you know what I’m thinking?”
“No but based off the look on your face I know Cap wouldn’t approve so I’m in”
“Well let’s just say theoretically if these chocolates were to disappear how would Mr Stark know they ever existed to begin with”
“I said I’m in just open it already I’m starving”
The box was filled with a variety of colorful square chocolates and a guide on where each flavor was.
“Oh great there’s peppermint” Peter said, his voice laced with sarcasm while reading the guide.
“Oh no darling do you don’t like peppermint how will we ever survive” Harley responded, a sly smirk forming on his face
“I freaking love peppermint but I’m kinda very extremely allergic” Peter was visibly pouting in a way that for some reason Harley found adorable.
“Wait what back the f&$k up. If you’re that allergic how do you know you love it”
“I wasn’t always allergic idiot”
“I know I’m not the only teen genius in this room but I’m pretty sure that’s not how allergies work. Anyways don’t worry I can just eat the peppermint ones it’s fine you can take my share of the dark chocolate, it’s gross anyways. I love peppermint”
That was a lie, Harley loved dark chocolate, he loved all chocolate, and he didn’t know why he was lying for this random boy he just met. What he did know was that seeing the smile spread on Peter’s face was worth much more then some stupid chocolate or having to force a smile while choking down peppermint. Years later Harley would realize why he lied; even way back then he loved Peter.
Eventually the truth came out. Multiple truths in the same conversation until everything had changed. Peter was good at hiding pain, or at least he had always thought he was. Either his acting skills were decaying or Harley was getting to know him too well. Either way he ended up luring on their bed with Harley carefully cleaning a mostly healed bullet wound.
“Its fine I promise it’ll heal”
“Darling all your credibility went out the gods damn window the second you hid a bullet f&@king bullet wound from me and are still refusing to tell me how you got it”
“ it’s complicated”
“And you think I can’t handle it, do you seriously think you’re protecting me by hiding the truth? What are we kindergarteners? Warning this might sting” his anger not affecting the gentleness with which he tended to his love.
“And you’ve never kept a secret from me because you are just so perfect all the damn time”
“I’ve never kept a secret that gave me a BULLET WOUND! But fine you want to be elementary schoolers let do it, a secret for a secret. I’ll go first I hate peppermint your turn”
“YOU HATE PEPPERMINT! HIW COUKD TOU THE BETRAYAL IM GETTING a DIVORCE”
“A. You are allergic to it why do you care B. We’re not married but if you want to fix that we certainly can C. Your turn, secret time”
“You’re gonna laugh but whatever… I. Am. Spider-Man?”
“Well are you? You sound unsure sweetie if that’s your secret it’s fine I kind of could have guessed. Just don’t be a f$&king idiot and get yourself hurt. And if anyone ever hurts you and you don’t tell me IMMEDIATELY I SWEAR I WILL…”
“Wait why aren’t you more… surprised I guess”
“Oh come on you were practically raised by Tony and you have the self preservation skills of a squirrel in the middle of the street, course you were gonna be a superhero at some point it was just a matter of who and when”
“First of all I will have you know I was Spider-Man before I even met Tony and I am a vigilante not a superhero”
“Sure whatever you say darling”
“WAIT YOU ALWAYS EAT MY PEPPERMINT AND YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE IT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT…”
Harley somehow ended up in more trouble for faking his love of peppermint then Peter did for hiding an entire secret identity, but somehow that how it is when your in love. It’s how it is for them at least and that’s all that matters.