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Admiration turned sour.

Summary:

Bakugou and Midoriya grew up together for basically their entire lives. Even when things get in the way of their friendship, they still end up inevitably stuck to each other—living close only brings that connection a more tangible form. But as time passes, the presence of Midoriya only brings Bakugou anger and anguish.

A retelling of Bakugou's feelings when they were kids with a bit more nuance and slight changes to their characters, but still attempting to maintain their essence.

Notes:

This is just a quick drabble and a personal interpretation of Bakugou's feelings towards Izuku when they were kids, it's up to intepretation whether their relationship is romantic or not. Not that well written, more so a rant in the perspective of Bakugou.

Work Text:

Katsuki has known Midoriya for most of his life. It would be strange not to be able to recognize his face in a crowd, not to remember every little detail he got to know over the years as their meetings became more and more frequent. He remembers when they first met, even if Midoriya doesn't. His timid smile, holding his mother's hand and staying at her side, a little behind her legs but not enough to be completely covered.

The blond had smiled, always with his chest puffed and in front of his mother. His hand had stretched out to the boy, who seemed to be cowering behind his mom. Midoriya smiled, leaving his mom's grasp to greet Bakugou. When they shook hands, the strong grip of the green-haired boy melted any preconceptions of him being shy. And while the blond did not know what it had been, he understood he wasn't hiding because he was timid or meek.

Midoriya was completely oblivious to fear, shame or shyness. He wasn't particularly loud or confident, but he had this calm way of acting that showed how certain he was of everything he was doing, even if it was the most stupid of things. Bakugou learned that when somehow Midoriya convinced him that the best way of getting a limited edition All Might trading card was to get hurt after falling off a tree. They didn't get any special cards, only burning scrapes at their knees and a good nagging from their moms.

They shared almost everything in common. The kindergarten, the playground, taste in shoes and their love for heroism. When Midoriya first talked about All Might, Bakugou had been ecstatic to find someone who loved him as much as he did. He supposed that's what solidified their friendship. It was that which led him to invite the green-haired boy to see his All Might collection at his house, and Midoriya’s mom had let him.

He stumbled upstairs after taking off his shoes, yelling at the boy to go faster. His mom had screamed at him, saying that he shouldn't run up the stairs and praising Midoriya for being polite and careful. A sharp sting spread through Bakugou's chest, and he huffed angrily at his mother, muttering how she was just an old hag. He looked at the boy, waiting for him to defend him or agree with him, all he got was an apologetic smile.

Midoriya coming to his house became more and more frequent. The green-haired boy would marvel at Bakugou's collection of All Might toys and at his drawings of the hero. They would spend the evening talking about how incredible the man was or how they would be like when they got their powers.

“I could get my mom's telekinesis and make it stronger, or my father's fire breathing. Both are cool.”

Bakugou would think back to his parents powers, and the sharp sting would come back. “Getting your parents powers is lame! I'll get my own and it'll be the coolest! I'm probably going to be super strong like All Might.”

Izuku would nod, smiling and ranting about the different ways in which All Might used his super strength and made it versatile. Then Bakugou's mom would call them for dinner and he would leave. He soon started noticing that they always stayed at his home, never at Izuku’s house. It was always a bit annoying when they were in the living room, his mom always complaining about every single thing Bakugou did. On another hand, Izuku was always perfectly polite and adequate, and his mom never failed to point that out and cause the sharp sting to spread on his chest.

He was sure that being at his house was what caused the sharp sting. So they started going to his, but only could do so on weekends. It was a nice change of pace. When he first got there, Izuku's mom treated him kindly. She didn't scold him for wandering around to see everything. She didn't complain about everything he said. And she didn't spend the entire day complimenting Izuku.

Izuku's room had way more All Might collectives than Katsuki’s, despite how much bigger the blond's room was. But they were all still wrapped up in their packages, untouched. Katsuki proudly helped him get rid of that problem, merrily ripping away the packages so they could properly play with the figurines. Izuku would laugh at the blond’s smile as he would puff out his chest and proudly announce himself as the savior of the All Might’s trapped in plastic prisons.

Being at the green-haired boy's house proved to be better than at his house, so they kept going there.

There was a tacit agreement between them that no one from their group could go to their houses. For Katsuki it was due to the way his mom would stay vigilant of her son's behavior, always carefully watching from afar her “difficult and overly energetic” son. For Izuku it was the questions that the others would ask, always interrogating him on why his parents often weren't home and how only his mom would be around at the weekends. Both were embarrassed whenever others visited, only comfortable with the other knowing about those things.

And that had initially made them grow closer. But even as they changed locations, the sting kept persistently appearing.

Everything related to his best friend started to bring the sharp green sting. The endless collection of All Might toys that would grow more each week, the same ones they would use to play together. The relaxed and self assured walk, that made it so that even when he was behind someone he seemed to be leading them. Unlike his own wandering eyes and short erratic strides. The endless current of compliments, unlike the constant complaints about being too loud.

Eventually, everytime he was with his best friend he would feel that strange pain. It would develop into embarrassment as Izuku smiled at him, calling him 'Kacchan' after just defeating him at something. His face would burn bright red as the other boys stared at him.

"Don't call me that, nerd!" He would lash out, brows furrowed in fiery anger as he pushed his friend away. Not that it ever helped, the green haired boy would only smile and stay happy, as if nothing could ever affect him.

Things got better, once he got his own quirk. He remembered it quite well—even when the memories turned bittersweet as time passed. While he once had to battle for the attention of grown ups compared to his friend, he now didn't have to try, he was finally winning.

The bright look on his parents face as he showed them the explosions and his quick adaptability to the powers, he was a prodigy, they would say. His mother stopped talking about his troublesome personality for a few weeks, instead proudly boasting to the other moms about how promising her child's power was and how he could become a great hero in the future.

To make things better, Izuku was proved inferior to him. The words quirkless had tasted sweet on his tongue, as his parents had explained that the green haired boy would never develop a quirk, and that he was inherently weaker than the blond. He could already imagine the picture of the boy walking behind him obediently, listening to him instead of making his own suggestions and for once being the one to need help.

The stings grew less frequent, as his mother stopped being so harsh everytime Izuku visited and he felt a smile grow as she started speaking with a patronizing tone. The compliments became shrouded into a layer of pity, and she could no longer compare her son to Inko’s child. Poor little Izuku, quirkless and weak, it was a good thing that Katsuki was such a great friend.

The happiness lasted a short while, because no matter how many times Izuku learned of his shortcomings, he would keep hoping. He didn't have a family like Katsuki’s, he wasn't the leader of his friends like Katsuki, he didn't even have a quirk, so why was he still so damn arrogant? How was he able to smile and talk about becoming a hero like All Might? Why did he still come up with ideas and suggestions for others?

Why did he still extend his help to Katsuki? Why, even after knowing how inferior the green haired boy is compared to him, Katsuki can't help but feel admiration?

He hates him. Hates his stupid smile, hates the way that no matter what happens he keeps his head held high, hates the way that even when he is crying and scared he still goes out of his way to help others, hates the way his eyes sparkle and how kind he is to everyone around him.

He hates the way Izuku dared to extend his hand to pull him up from the river. Hates the excruciating sting that spread through his chest and the way that tears welled up in his eyes.

And if you hate someone, you have to show them your hate. In a way, he was helping his friend—if you truly could call him that. Katsuki was merely teaching Midoriya that life is hard, and that you shouldn't act like that when you're actually worthless. Was it his fault that the boy was so damn oblivious to how things worked? Of course not, no matter how bad his heart ached when he saw the tears and the scraped on the green haired boy, he was only doing what's right.