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It’s ironic, just how safe you’d felt as you were falling asleep. Wrapped in the arms of the most dangerous man, more of a god than a human, who struck fear into the hearts of anyone with a red flash of light from his eyes.
The same red that filled the room now.
You’d awoken because of thrashing on the other side of bed, and seen Homelander tossing and turning in his sleep.
“Homelander?” You’d whispered, cautious.
Homelander had whimpered.
“Stop, stop it, please-“ he’d moaned, still asleep.
Sitting up, you had tried to wake him again. “Homelander, it’s okay. You’re having a nightmare. Please wake up,” you’d said, voice growing louder.
"Please stop touching me, don’t, please, please stop, I’m sorry, get it out, it hurts, get it out-!“ tears were visible on his face, and his voice was high pitched, panicked.
Worried, you’d reached out your hand, gently resting it on his bare shoulder. “Homelander-“
He’d lurched awake at your touch, sitting up frantically and opening his eyes, bathing the room in red light. ”Stop!”
Raising your hands and backing up, you carefully showed him you weren’t a threat. “It’s just me, Homelander. I’m not going to hurt you.” Please don’t laser me.
Homelander was shaking, hiccuping sobs as he clenched and unclenched his fists in the sheets. “I didn’t- you weren’t-“ he was trying, still only half awake.
“We’re in your bedroom, Homelander. You were having a nightmare. It isn’t real.”
His eyes flickered out.
Unwinding his fingers from the blankets, he wrapped his arms around himself instead. His eyes shut, ashamed, as more tears dripping down his cheeks. “Oh god, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-“
Now that his lasers were no longer an immediate threat, you moved closer. “John.” You reached out a hand, taking his face in your grasp and wiping at the tear tracks. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
You pulled him into an embrace as he sobbed harder.
“I’m sorry, they wouldn’t stop, I didn’t mean to! They didn’t stop, they didn’t listen-! Please!… mommy, why wouldn’t they stop?”
You momentarily froze before deciding to discuss that title later. John was now completely unintelligible, nuzzling into your shoulder, tears soaking your skin as he kept sobbing.
Keeping one arm wrapped securely around him, slowly calming his shaking, you brought your other hand up to gently run through his hair. His breath hitched, and he pressed harder onto you, as though he was afraid you were going to run away.
“It’s okay, John. It’s okay. They can’t hurt you now.”
As he calmed down, you slowly shifted him back into a laying down position. John’s body was pushed up against yours, hands clinging to you as he, still breathing raggedly, leaned his forehead against your chest. You kept your arms firmly around his body, reassuring him that you weren’t leaving.
As you both finally began to drift back to sleep, his tears still drying on your bare skin, you rubbed your thumb against his cheek sleepily.
“You’re okay, John. Go to sleep, sweetheart.”
John’s brow furrowed, and a shiver ran through his body at your next words before succumbing to sleep.
“Just let me take care of you.”