Work Text:
Kaveh stayed silent as he pried his phone case off. He stayed silent as he pulled the blade out, replacing his phone. He stayed silent as he let his clothes drop to the floor, and he stayed silent when he let the water run and steadily fill the bathtub. He stayed silent as he sank into the water, placing his blade tenderly on the side of the tub.
Kaveh knew people (Alhaitham.) would be disappointed, sad, angry. If they knew what he was about to do to himself, he would be in a whole other world of pain. He couldn't bring himself to care.
The water was too cold. He tried adding more heat, but his attempts were all futile. He stayed silent.
Looking through the water at his thighs, he found himself disgusted with the sight. Small scars littered just below his hips, none of his previous attempts had gone deep enough.
Picking up the blade and submerging it underwater, Kaveh gripped the metal like it was his lifeline. And maybe, in some ways, it was.
It kept him from taking his own life, which was good enough, right? (Not for him. He still fantasized about it daily). He brought the razor down to the meat of his thigh, right above a healed scar, and swiped.
He watched the blood seep into the water for a minute, mesmerised by the red swirls flowing out.
He swirled the water around a bit. He was still cold.
He lifted his legs out of the water, swiping at any visible scars. He made sure not to go too deep - he didn't want to hit anything important this time. Good news for him, most of his cuts resulted in a lack of blood.
He couldn't help but be worried about that, but he figured it was fine. He just wanted to feel something, and blood wasn't needed anyway.
He stayed in the ever-cooling water, staring forward at the tap. He dropped the blade over the side of the tub.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he stood from the bath, and as he felt the water drip off him and pool onto the floor by his feet, he wanted to throw up. He knelt down, picked the blade up, and before he could think twice, ran it down his chest, leaving deeper cuts than he'd wanted. Oh well.
Watching the blood seep down his legs, Kaveh couldn't help but wonder, would anybody actually care?
He knew they would. They had to. They said they would.
Covering himself with as much of his towel as possible without staining it red, Kaveh gathered his items, pressing the blade close in between the towel and his skin.
He retreated to his room, mind immediately turning to look for some kind of bandage or gauze. Unluckily, his container which he kept medical tape in had gone missing, so he had to make do with scotch tape.
He wasn't entirely sure that was safe, but oh well.
Kaveh gently pressed the gauze over his open wounds, minus the ones on his chest, making sure they were adequately covered before absolutely smothering them in tape.
Kaveh cleaned up what little mess he'd left behind, flexing his legs and running a hand over the now tape-covered gauze.
Turning off his light, he fell into bed, and was almost immediately launched into a dreamless sleep.