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Another day, another sigawan sa bahay. Kailan ba sila mapapagod na magsigawan at mag away. Eh kung maghiwalay nalang? Obvious naman na di na nila matansya isa’t isa eh. Malaki na rin mga anak nila, si kuya may pamilya na ako naman malapit na matapos sa high school. God finally malapit na ako makakaalis na ako sa bahay nato. But as I was saying, malaki na nga anak nila, may part times na nga ako eh. In short kaya ko na kahit isa lang sa kanila makakasama ko. But I digress..
I walked into the gate of the school still feeling shitty after experiencing the usual morning again. Nakarating ako sa mga lockers. “Hi Luis” ramdam ko nanaman yung parang kabag na feeling nang marinig ko ang boses na yun. I closed my locker and looked at the man besides me, smiling softly at me. “Goodmorning” ang ganda… “Maganda…” I uttered. “Huh?” I cleared my throat. “Uh I mean magandang umaga din, Gabby” that’s Gabriel, a classmate of mine na di ko naman close noon ewan bigla bigla na lang din kami nagka close.
I remember nung nagtransfer siya sa school nato at sa section talaga namin nalagay. Unang salita pumasok sa isip ko nun, “Maganda” kasi I mean maganda talaga siya tapos mukhang matalino ang ganda din ng ngiti mukhang mabait. And tama nga ako, mabait siya at matalino. Nasa harap ko lang siya nakaupo, ewan para akong baliw nakatitig lang sa kanya habang kinakausap siya ng katabi ko. Naramdaman niya ata titig ko ayun nilingin din ako at ngumiti. And tell you… sa ngiti niya ma yun parang may malakas na alon na tumama sakin. No hindi siya masakit na tama… more on, a relaxing crashing of waves. Hindi ko mawaei bakit nakaramdam ako bigla ng ganon, eh ngumiti lang naman sana siya like he did kanina sa harap. Pero siguro dahil directa sakin ang tingin at ngiti niya? Dahil malapitan siyang nakangiti sakin? Mas kitang kita ko gano kaganda mukha niya?
Ewan ang weird since that day.
No, hindi kami agad naging close since that day. Hindi naman kasi ako friendly na tao— by that I mean hindi ako magaling sa pakikipagkaibigan, like getting friends instantly. I’m more of the type of person who stays with the friends I’m already close to than having new friends. Introvert.
But nevertheless, I find myself getting even more interested in him by days passing. We barely talked, and when we talked it’s always him that will talk first. About school stuffs lang din naman or manghihiram ng eraser pagnakakalimutan niyang dalhin yung kaniya kasi nagd-drawing siya sa gabi at nakakakimutan niyang ibalik ang eraser niya sa bag niya pagnatapos siya. Don’t ask me why I know that, he was the one who yapped about it. And yes, he likes to draw. Yan din dahilan bakit nanghihiram siya ng eraser sakin minsan. There were times na nga na worn out na subra nung eraser ko dahil kahit mensan lang siya manghiram, grabe naman yung paggamit niya, magaling din naman kasi talaga siya mag drawing.
Nung malapit na maubos yung eraser ko, I bought more of it kahit hindi naman ako pala gamit ng eraser. I still bought more, and even bought drawing pencils. No, I don't draw either. He sometimes borrow my normal pencils din kasi pagkasama ng eraser niya ay, naiiwan niya din mga lapis niya.
Since the day he came to our class and Javier talked to him, he started to hang out with us, kasama mga barkada namin.
And probably since nakakasama ko siya sa mga ganap ng barkada, unti unti kaming naging close.
Dun ko mas nakilala siya. Dun ko napatunayang, napaka interesting niya talagang tao. Apparently he draws for people and the money he gets from it, he donates it to charities. Like?? Wow talaga, hindi mali ang pag judge ko sa kanya nung una, mabait talaga siyang tao. There were times he takes me with him sa isang orphanage na dino-donatan ng family niya at niya din with his own earnings sa pagd-drawing.
He never fails to amaze me everytime.
“Ang lalim ata ng iniisip mo ah? Nakatitig ka lang sakin” He chuckled. That made me come back to reality. Ito nanaman ako sa habit kong ‘to, nakakahiya. “Ah wala” umiling ako para e dismiss ang topic. “Oh and I noticed bago ako lumapit kanina, you looked down. Ayus ka lang ba?” Does he realize the effect that his soft spoken voice has on people? Kasi grabe, I felt that huge but calming crashing waves, hitting me. Dahil lang sa malumanay na tanong niya lang kung ayus lang ba ako.
“You don’t have to answer that. Wanna go to the seaside later?” He softly smiled. I do think I needed that. a little unwind by the seaside. I don’t know if he’s doing this on purpose or what but I’m thankful for him. “Sure”
(Fast forward)
And with that, after class, dumeretso na kami sa seaside. Umisod ako ng kaunti para makaupo siya sa malaking parti ng kahoy na probably nadala ng alon dito sa dalampasigan. “Oh? Magd-drawing ka?” ani ko nang makaupo siya ay kinuha niya agad ang sketchpad at lapis niya. “Mm, pero this time I wanna try drawing a person.” Nanlaki ang mga mata kong tumingin sa kaniya, with my mouth formed to an o. “Oh? First time yan ah, you’re going out of your comfort zone?” He smiled and nodded. When I said he draws for people, it’s mostly, their pets, house, buildings or gardens even, he never draws people cause he said it’s the hardest for him. You have to capture the exact genuine emotion of the person you’re drawing. And he said he struggles with that as hindi naman daw kasi siya ganon ka observant na tao.
He starts to open his… now that I noticed it, it’s a new sketchbook. “And bago yung sketchbook mo?” He chuckled a little. “Ikaw ang observant mo, pero yes, I got a new one to fill with sketches of people. I planned to separate the other sketches and this.” I hummed as a response. “So, to start this off, I wanna draw you” lumingon siya at para akong natamimi at nanatili lang na nakatitig sakanya. He what? He wants to draw me? He chuckled again. “Hello? Earth to Luis? Nakatulala ka nanaman sakin” Tawa niya ulit. I cleared my throat. “Ba’t naman ako una mong id-drawing na tao. Pwede naman sila Javier or di kaya self portrait mo” Iwas tingin kong ani. “Eh bakit di ikaw?” napalingon ulit ako sa kaniya. Ramdam ko nanaman yung alon sa kaluob luoban ko. “I… uh.. Eh kasi.. Nakakahiya…” I scratched my nape. He chuckled. “Oh please after months of being friends, ngayon ka pa mahihiya?”
“Eh di ko alam ano gagawin” He gave me a soft smile. “Wala ka naman dapat gawin. Just be yourself at tumingin ka lang sakin.” I guess that would be easy…
He moved to sit on the sand in front of me nataranta ako kasi nakakahira kung nasa baba ko siya lalo’t nakaupo pa rin ako sa kahoy kayat bago pa siya mag protest, ay bumaba ako sa kahoy at umupo sa buhangin sa harap niya. “Eh? Bat ka bumaba? Dun ka lang, model kita diba? Dun ka dapat nakapwesto”
“Eh nakakahiya, nasa buhangin ka nakaupo tapos ako dun sa kahoy, dumihan na nga yung uniform mo sa buhangin oh” Ngumiti siya at umiling. “Lui, I’m gonna draw you and as a model dun ka talaga dapat naka upo. I’m the artist so please as my dear model, sundin mo nalang ako hm?” his statement should’ve come out as strict but why is it so soft? Like he was talking to a kid. Kaya kahit nahihiya talaga ako ay sinunod ko nalang sinabi niya, Saka siya nagsimula nang magsketch.
And as he instructed earlier, I just sat there, looking straight and only at him. Being myself… as he said. And as I expected, it’s so easy. Panay siya taas baba ng tingin mula sakin to his sketchbook again. No one’s talking, but it’s a calming silence. You could only hear just the waves crashing to the shore…. And maybe the waves crashing inside me.
He sat there, behind him the beautiful sunset sky and sea making the view in front even prettier… as he.
I continued to wander my eyes on his face. Taking all the details as if I were the one doing the sketches. Beautiful eyebrows that’s slightly being covered with his soft lux, pretty eyes that seem like it never could look at someone harshly. Cute nose, fluffy cheeks that I like to squeeze sometimes when we’re fooling around. Soft looking lips… it seems like everything about him is soft… and pretty.
Tumingala ulit siya at nagtama ang mga mata namin. I now… could feel wave after wave crashing harshly straight to me. It’s even bigger waves this time. I know I’m gonna drown from this. Should I just let it hit me? Or should I run away?
How crazy that just earlier today, I was going through storms and with just his presence, it feels like those storms never happened.
He smiled. “I’m done. Here tingnan mo” Ani niya saka pinakita sakin ang drawing niya ng mukha ko. It’s so… beautiful. I never knew I looked this good in his perspective. Do I always look this good in his eyes? Beautiful isn’t enough to describe his work.
“So? What do you think?” I looked up at him as he’s already standing in front of me. Head tilted slightly to the side as he anticipated my answer. He softly smiled as our eyes met.
Fuck…
“I think I’m falling for you”