Work Text:
When she thinks about that moment, all she can consider is that question. A question composed of words that had no business being spoken together.
"Hey, Iroha-chan. Would you like to pretend to be my girlfriend?"
It was a simple question, but one loaded with enough tripwires to protect a billion-dollar diamond. Iroha had been confessed to, both formally and informally, many times, so hearing another didn't make her heart speed up like it once did.
It also didn’t surprise her to place the individual who made this particular declaration. She’d only met Koyori a few times before officially debuting, and she had made it clear that Iroha was one of her types of girls to pursue. Despite this fact, the coyote girl had been nothing but respectful and pleasant when it came to their collaboration streams. She didn’t give off a vibe of imminent sexual harassment just by being in her presence, so Iroha had simply brushed the innuendos to the side while trying to balance the chatroom’s immature behavior.
However, something tapped at her from the back of mind. She had no problem defending herself from the incoming lewd advances of her new genmates and senpais alike. No, the issue here was wrapped up in a single word that turned what appeared to be a straightforward asking out into a minefield for the mind.
‘Pretend’
Such a dissonant word to accompany a declaration of feelings. What did it mean to pretend to be in a relationship? She couldn’t say for sure.
Iroha was actually very proud of herself for looking at her internal questions from such a sophisticated standpoint. Maybe the city was doing her some good after all. It almost made her choose to respond right then and there. The problem was that she couldn’t tell how exactly the profession had swayed her mind against one option or the other.
Koyori seemed to pick up on the conflicted spirit in Iroha’s eyes and tried to re-focus the samurai’s attention.
"Umm, Iroha-san? You okay? I'm sorry, I probably shouldn’t have been so abrupt. I know hearing me say that might have put you off, but will you at least hear me out on why I asked?"
Ah yes, the classic ‘stalling your confession’ tactic. It was not an uncommon strategy for people expecting a rejection to try to let themselves down easy.
But again, despite recognizing the obvious signs of the coyote trying her luck, Iroha could just barely pick up on something different hanging on the end of the pink-haired girl’s tongue. So she wrestled the fears aside and agreed to listen to just what the coyote had to say.
“Sure, Koyori, de gozaru.”
“Okay, phew. I was worried I’d scare you completely away, which I did not want to do! Well, you see, it has to do with two of our favorite people, which we just ended up coworkers with!”
“Huh? I’m not sure if I follow, gozaru.”
“Miko-senpai and Suisei-senpai of course! I’m wrapped up in Miko’s charms, and you’re the world’s strongest hoshiyomi, right? Don’t you want to get closer with your idol?”
“Ehh?! S-S-Suisei-senpai? No, no, no, no. There’s no way she’d even bother with me. Plus! It’s unforgivable for me to interfere with the precious business tee-tee of MiComet!”
“Oh, come on Kazama! I’ve devised a foolproof plan that can get us both what we want! It’s perfect! Befitting my nature as a genius coyote, if I do say so myself!”
This was getting ridiculous. Koyori had been around too many chemicals unprotected to result with this line of logic. Faking a relationship to get closer to their oshis? What kind of leaps did she have to make to come to this conclusion?
But Iroha’s fears weren’t entirely based on how half-baked the other woman’s plans were. What scared her the most was the expectations and responsibility. She couldn’t forgive herself for potentially doing something irreversible if things ended up going south.
“Koyori-san, truth be told, I don’t know how well I’d be equipped to be a partner. I’ve never accepted any offers in the past. Even if— and I mean IF— Suisei-senpai chose me, I don’t feel like I could say yes.”
It shouldn’t be this hard to tell her the truth, to say I’m not ready to be a suitor for anybody.
…So why was it difficult?
“It’s okay Iroha-san, I think I know how you feel. I knew it was a bit of a long shot to begin with, so I’m sorry I asked you.”
“Koyori…”
“No, really, it’s okay. Just forget I said anything.”
Why does it hurt in my soul to hear those words? Did I just do this to her with my response? She seems so torn up. I guess… it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to play along, gozaru.
“Koyori… can you give me a little bit of time to think about it?”
“-Ah? You mean, you’ll consider it?”
“I don’t know yet, gozaru. But if it’d make you happy to try it at least, then I can give it a shot. Pretending to be your girlfriend, de gozaru.”
“For real?! Yay! You’ve made me so happy, Iroha-chan! I won’t let you down; I’ll be the greatest pretend girlfriend you’ve never had!”
Something about the pure delight that the pink-haired girl was cheering with arrested Iroha’s brain and tongue. On paper, what she would be agreeing to shouldn’t have elicited a response like that. Maybe there was something deeper at play? But on the other hand, the fuzziness bubbling beneath her own calm demeanor, poking out through her cheeks in a thin dusting of rosy coloring, betrayed her usual collected and composed self.
Iroha secretly hoped, somewhere at the bottom of her rapidly beating heart, that this confession would help her figure out exactly where her feelings were taking her.
All she had to do was trust her new girlfriend, Hakui Koyori.
“I’ll be the greatest pretend girlfriend you’ve never had!”
Koyori was over the moon. Her plan had gotten off the ground. She finally had somebody to help her conquer her feelings for her new seniors. And yet, because Kazama Iroha had been the one to say yes, things became even more complicated.
Despite the coyote being on her best behavior when around Iroha, she couldn’t kick the very first feelings she discovered when they met for the first time. The blonde samurai with a cool personality, who was inherently sweet and pure? The exact mold of a maiden to be shaped to the will of a hormonally-driven beastwoman in the name of science? The lustful beast-woman had to literally hold herself back from sneaking a hand under the unaware girl's sarashi.
Now?
Now that she had the girl in her hand like a piece of clay, why was it so difficult to want to proceed? Why did she still find it so precarious to desire to engage in a relationship with Iroha?
“I think… we can keep things simple for now. Let's just treat each other normally.”
“Of course, de gozaru.”
“Then, maybe we play it up for a moment on stream? Or maybe after a dance practice?”
“Uhhh…”
“Or— or we just let things move naturally.”
I can’t force it. That might break everything. Be patient Koyori, be patient.
“Okay, I agree with that, gozaru. Oh, I remembered something! I must return home in an hour, and I have to catch the bus! I’ll see you soon Koyori- I mean, Koyo-chan!”
“Whatever happened to taking things slow?”
“I’m not sure, de gozaru. It just seems… natural is all. Well, I’m off!”
“Goodbye, Kazama-chan!”
Once the bubbly blonde had disappeared behind the door, Koyori’s legs gave out, and she crashed into a nearby chair.
Will this be enough for me? Coming up with the idea to fake a relationship just so I can pretend to date Iroha-chan?
She couldn’t say for sure.
All she did know was that she had to do her part, and put some trust in her new girlfriend, Kazama Iroha.
“Alright! From Hololive Studios, we’re signing off! Bye Bye!”
“Bye Bye!”
“Bye Bye!”
“Bye Bye, gozaru!”
“Okay, we’ll be going now. Thank you again for the invite, gozaru!” Iroha bowed her head slightly, before Koyori gave her a gentle tap to lift it.
“Of course! I’m sure we’ll see each other around the office a little more often.” Suisei gave a gentle wave with her hand.
“Goodbye Koyori-chan! Goodbye Iroha-chan!” Miko said with a smile.
“Goodbye Miko-nyesan!”
“Goodbye Suisei-senpai!”
As the blonde-haired samurai and the pink-haired researcher exited the room, they attempted to link arms but failed rather awkwardly. Iroha eventually settled on clasping her fingers around Koyori’s, and both of their faces turned red.
Miko turned to her partner, raising an eyebrow in suspicion. “What do you think is going on between those two, nye~?”
“Hmm…” The blue-haired comet put a gloved hand to her chin and shut her eyes, as if she was deep in thought. “I can’t say. Do you have any insights, Mikochi?”
“I think… I think they like each other.” Miko explained, folding her hands in front of herself like a bridge.
“Huh? Where’d that thought come from?” Suisei paused her thinking antics. “I thought they liked us?”
“Oh, there’s no doubt they like us as their oshis. But I don’t believe it extends to romantic feelings.” Miko went on. “Perhaps I’m wrong. Maybe they’re just buddy-buddy. But, I think they might have real feelings they’ve buried under the surface.”
“There’s a chance. It’s not uncommon for new pairings to show up with every generation. I mean, look at us. As MiComet, we call it business teetee in front of the fans, but behind the scenes…” Suisei pulled her pink-haired girlfriend close and brought her lips close to her companion.
Miko completed her statement with a soft kiss. “You’re mine, and mine alone, sweet Sui-chan.”
Suisei blushed hard with those words. “As- As I was saying, they have potential.” She tucked her head into the comfortable nook of her companion’s neck to avoid further embarrassment.
“Mhmm.” Miko gave an affirmative hum as she absorbed herself in Suisei’s embrace. “Maybe we’ll give them a little push in the future. But for now, we can just watch. Like good senpais.”
“Like good senpais indeed, Mikochi.” The blue-haired woman upturned her head to sneak another kiss on the shrine maiden’s lips.
“Okay, well,” Iroha began as soon as they broke away from their senpais. “How do you think things went?”
“Bad,” Koyori whined. “I didn’t make any progress. Miko only sees me as a little sister, not a potential love interest.”
“That’s okay, I didn’t do well either. I barely kept it together for Suisei-senpai. MiComet interacting was great to see, though, right?”
“But we… we didn’t do a good job being a couple either.”
Iroha stopped walking. She looked down at her hand that gently held her pretend girlfriend’s. “This isn’t good enough? I’m sorry, Koyo-chan. I said I’d be no good.”
“No!” Koyori shouted, tightening her grip on the blonde’s fingers. “Iroha-chan, you’re doing a great job. Maybe we just need some more practice.”
“Practice, de gozaru?”
“I-” the coyote girl stammered, the flushing fuchsia overtaking her face. “I’d like to take you out on a date.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow, probably. Dress in nice clothes.” Koyori confirmed with a shake of her head. “And… Iroha-chan?”
The samurai looked puzzled. “Yes, Koyori-chan?”
“Let’s work on something simple, like ‘I love you’.”
“!” Iroha’s face instantly became redder than a boiled lobster. She coughed into her free hand. “I- I- I don’t know what to say, Koyori, gozaru. I’ll try my hardest for you.”
Koyori smiled warmly, her lips glossy in the sunlight. “Thank you, Iroha-chan. Practice makes perfect, after all. We’ll get there together.”
Or, at least, I hope you’ll see me that way. I hope the time will come when we don’t have to pretend to be partners.
As they walked hand-in-hand, the pink-haired coyote couldn’t help but feel a sense of calm, swaying the pendulum of her heart soothingly. She understood they both had a long way to go, but her eyes were still on the prize. Maybe one day, just like their two seniors, they could take the plunge and confess.
And when that happens, Iroha will make me the happiest girl in the world.
…
The blonde samurai had a million thoughts running through her head. She led Koyori to her familiar bus stop before seeing her off. The two of them didn’t say anything as Iroha got on the bus, leaving the coyote to press her palms against her chest like she was treasuring the entire time she held hands with her pretend girlfriend. Once the doors shut, she swore she could see the pink ears droop as a signal of her disappointment.
I can’t have that. No, I won’t let her be crushed. What if I-
The floor jolted as the bus began to move. Iroha scrambled to the window. She did something she’d never done before. She blew Koyori a kiss.
I hope that made things better. I’m sorry, Koyo-chan. I’m sorry I have to go.
Koyori looked shocked when she noticed Iroha’s romantic gesture. She acted like she caught the kiss, then put her fingers to her lips like she had taken it on the lips. Iroha couldn’t see if she reciprocated the attempt back because the bus turned the corner and started its long series of stops. As Iroha sunk down into the uncomfortable leather seat, she contemplated her token of affection. Deciding it wasn’t too much, she set her mind back to ways of making Koyori happy.
Maybe in the future, I won’t have to go. We could stay together. I can say what I really feel.
The samurai’s heart thumped hard in her chest. She had a whole day ahead of her to get ready for her first actual date, and she had no intention of letting the beastwoman down. Although she had no experience and couldn’t even place a reason as to why she wanted to try so hard, Iroha was going to do everything asked of her as perfectly as she could.
Because trust makes a relationship work.