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Riding Bodkin

Summary:

Upon being cordially invited to the theatre, Bane's Chosen convinces Bhaal's Chosen to join him for the evening. The carriage journey there, however, may prove arduous for a certain Bhaalspawn.

Notes:

kind of a part two to A Bump in the Road ?? i mainly just wanted to put kaidos in a carriage and make him complain about it again. i live and breathe these two being evil and having petty arguments.

Work Text:

The office was peaceful; the combination of a well fed fireplace and multiple clusters of candles dotted about the room lit it well enough to be able to read without eye strain. 

Gortash was pacing in front of his desk, the chair long since abandoned and several metres away from its usual resting spot from when he had suddenly stood amidst an epiphany. The inkwell had been almost drained from how much the Banite had been scribbling. When he first entered the study tucked within his estate, it had been light outside, the streets bustling full of people making their way around for lunch. Now, it was pitch black and the streets had fallen quiet, with the only noise seeping through the windows being the occasional stomp of a Steel Watcher on patrol passing by.

Kaidos sat slouched on the plush sofa on the other side of the office, his head tilted back and eyes closed. His tail hung off the edge of the seat next to his legs, the forked ends slowly swaying like a lazy cat. He had joined his partner within this secluded room only since it had turned dark, a healthy amount of blackmail in hand as a gift for his dearest.

Listening to the occasional sounds of Gortash’s footsteps as he paced, pivoted back to his desk, scratched quill against parchment, then paced again was relaxing for the Bhaalspawn. Every now and then he would be asked a question - typically rhetorical - and he would simply respond with an approving or disapproving noise. Despite how lazy the whole thing looked, it was actually a very productive way for them to function. 

If Kaidos was too awake, trains of thought may become buffered with unnecessary comments and incessant bickering from both parties. Like this, with exclusively Gortash talking, ideas readily flowed with little to no friction between them. 

“I really must commend you on your ability to sniff out the traitors of this city. Who would ever expect somebody so egregiously dull to be capable of planning an escape to Amn — and have the foresight to use a cipher to plan it all?” Gortash read over the letters which had been placed upon his desk mere hours earlier by the Bhaalspawn. A lesser Baldurian patriar not deemed powerful enough to tadpole, planning on fleeing to the city of Athkatla and warning the mercantile families there of what may be coming their way. 

“Who even knew they had the capacity to come up with such lines as ‘I must flee from this Black Keep and the tyrant who upholds it posthaste’ ?” Gortash dropped the parchment and its cipher back down on the desk. His hands folded neatly behind his back as he resumed pacing, “I think they should be taken prisoner. If they are this scared without anything happening to them directly, then they won’t even require torturing to break and spill all their contacts - especially whoever this letter was destined for. And then their corpse can be displayed in the Wide.” 

He heard an approving hum come from his Bhaalspawn in response.

“Yes, and then perhaps you can have whoever mourns their death. Completely eradicate all possible sympathisers. Honestly, fleeing to Amn,” he chuckled to himself, “what a fruitless endeavour that would have been.” 

There was a small knock at the door; two light taps against the thick wood that only just carried through.

“Enter.” Gortash demanded. The door promptly clicked open, making way for a well dressed servant to step in.

With perfect posture, they confidently approached their leader, barely even glancing at the Bhaalspawn. “A letter from Lady Bormul, Your Grace. Claimed to be urgent.” The servant bowed their head, holding a delicate golden tray out toward the Archduke.

Gortash lifted the letter from the tray without looking at the servant, idly pacing around the empty space of the office as the underling left quietly and clicked the door shut behind them. He easily broke the wax seal of the thick parchment, his nose scrunching slightly as the strong perfumed scent of violet and iris wafted from the page. Dark eyes darted across the letter, reading quickly. 

 

Dearest Archduke Enver Gortash,

I would like to cordially invite you to the Songbird Theatre on the fourteenth of Uktar to attend a performance from the Waterdeep String Quartet.

In accordance with it being my birthday, the highly talented musicians will be travelling down specifically to perform for the event, and it would be the highest honour to have you in attendance.

The royal box will be provided for your exclusive use, alongside seating for a plus one if you may choose to invite another.

A three course meal will be provided at the Bormul Estate afterwards.

I look forward to seeing you there.

Yours Faithfully,

Lady Silvia Bormul 

 

After a moment, he let out an amused huff of air from his nose, completely dropping their previous conversation. “She finally worked up the courage to send a personal invite.” Gortash held the letter out to Kaidos who opened one eye to take it between his first and middle finger before rotating the parchment to the proper orientation. Flaming eyes blinked open properly, barely glossing over the words as he read fast.

“Are you taking a plus one?” 

“I might if I find the right person.” Gortash sat down next to Kaidos, their shoulders bumping together due to the convenient proximity. 

“No.” He handed the letter back to the Banite, who simply tossed it down onto the coffee table before resting a hand on the Bhaalian’s knee. 

“Look at me, darling.” 

Kaidos let his head fall to the side, still in his slouched position. 

“It truly would mean a lot if you joined me. You would enjoy yourself, I assure you.” 

A smirk tugged at the side of Kaidos’ mouth as he closed his eyes once more, “You’re such a good liar.”

Gortash tightened the grip he had on the tiefling’s knee to shake it a little, wordlessly insisting that he continue to have his attention. “You read the part about it being Lady Bormul’s birthday, yes? I will allow you to pick a member of her family off that very evening if you join me.”

The proposition made the Bhaalspawn open his eyes as the Banite continued.

“Picture it – how awfully tragic it would be –  to have such a shocking end to what would have otherwise been a perfectly lovely day for her. All down to your cold blooded actions.”

Kaidos remained silent for a few moments, clearly thinking it over. His face went from looking mildly annoyed to ever so slightly interested as his monstrous brain tick, tick, ticked with ideas. 

“Her nephew propped up in his dining chair. Head on the plate before him. The first and only guest sat for her birthday dinner.” The Bhaalspawn could not stop the small chuckle which escaped as he finished his sentence.

“Oh, you are cruel.” Gortash shared the sadistic grin with Kaidos, who was now fully awake and sitting up straight. “So you will join me?”

“I will.”

Gortash’s hand pat Kaidos’ knee a couple times before he stood back up and returned to pacing around the office floor. 

“Wonderful. Now, with the Bormul House being by the Manor Gate, it would be best if we were to use the estate closest to them for that particular evening. The theatre, however, is all the way near the Black Dragon Gate, as you already know, which means...” As the new realisation dawned over the Archduke, a cruel, taunting smile started to creep onto his face as he stopped walking and slowly turned back toward his partner, hands clasped together in front of his chest.

“Don’t.”

“What a terrible shame this is; it sounds like we will have to take the carriage there, my dear.”

Gortash’s face spread into a wider grin as he watched Kaidos’ face scrunch up into a tense scowl, “I would rather be trapped in another one of those pods again than climb into that tiny carriage with you. They’d feel the same.”

“Oh, no need to be so dramatic. I am certain you will at least tolerate it all far more than you are letting on.” 

Kaidos grumbled under his breath, crossing his arms and turning his head away from his partner like a petulant child. 

Gortash took advantage of this childish protest, using the opportunity to walk over and firmly squeeze the Bhaalspawn’s upper arm. “You’ve gained muscle since the last commission, mind. We’ll have to take your measurements again.” He really was enjoying teasing Kaidos about this – perhaps a little too much.

The Bhaalspawn glowered up at the Banite, “is this all just an elaborate ploy to dress me up?”

“If that is how you would like to interpret it. Get up.” Gortash took a step back, gesturing with his hands for Kaidos to stand. “We will need to take them before dinner. How do you feel about matching outfits?”

Kaidos did not respond. He stood when he was told to, but his arms remained folded across his chest. 

Gortash revelled in tormenting his partner. He walked around him, gently lifting his tail with his fingers. It promptly flicked out of his hold and he chuckled. “I have had a few ideas in my mind for a while now. Your tail should be just as decorated as the rest of your fine self, don’t you think?” A hand ran along the Bhaalspawn’s broad back.

“You’re on thin ice.”

“And yet you let me continue anyway.” Gortash stepped in front of Kaidos, gently holding his arms as he looked up at him. He did not look nearly as furious as he wanted to. “I will not humiliate or restrict you, my dear. Trust me.”

 

Gortash had gotten the tailors to work fast. Within the tenday, both outfits were made to perfection, delivered to the estate the day before they were due. They were safely tucked away just until they were needed since Gortash was insistent on keeping it a surprise to his partner. 

Mere hours before Bane’s Chosen and his plus one were expected to appear at the Songbird Theatre were they revealed to the Bhaalspawn.

He had grimaced, as was his seemingly default state, but allowed the clothes to be placed upon him.

Kaidos really should dress up more. 

Ignoring the absolute burning hatred within his eyes, he looked very dashing adorned in such rich black fabrics all embellished with golds. The long coat and waistcoat he wore was very similar to Gortash’s own. The main differences between them though was that he had given the Bhaalspawn a high-necked shirt, secured with the same frog clasps used on the coat and waistcoat alike. Moreover, while the Archduke’s coat was decorated with gold embroidered dragons on each breast, Kaidos’ had golden tigers rearing up on their strong back legs, front paws stretching up, primed to strike back down. 

Gortash had also personally commissioned further accessories for the tiefling too. Ornate golden filigree reminiscent of his own gauntlets now curled around the horns and danced down the tail of the Bhaalspawn. 

He was as highly decorated as he ought to be in the Banite’s mind. A co-leader of Baldur’s Gate and a prince in his own right; Kaidos should be wearing these fabrics rather than the constant, more practical leather that he was always opting for. 

If only he didn’t look so constipated wearing it, though.

“How do you feel?” Gortash asked with a faux innocence, already knowing what the answer would be.

“Like I’m going to overheat and that I can’t raise my arms above my head.” Kaidos started to lift his arms up which Gortash was quick to catch by the elbows and pull back down. 

“We will ensure the playhouse will be cool enough for you to sit comfortably in. Besides, you will have no reason to be moving your arms like that.” Gortash straightened the waistcoat, tugging it down slightly to where it should be sitting. 

The Bhaalspawn had allowed him to, a seemingly permanent frown etched onto his face as he watched Gortash’s fingers dance around to adjust everything into perfection. If he were to bite those digits clean off, feel blood and flesh alike slide down his throat, he could go back on their deal. He wouldn’t have to wear these clothes, cram himself into a carriage, or go to the theatre. Kaidos could go straight to the Bormul House and snatch away the life that was promised to him there and then. 

Nobody would be able to stop him, and Father would be so happy to learn that the tyrant would be without his hands. The Lordling would no longer be any use to the Black Lord. 

“You are especially handsome dressed like this, my dear.” Gortash circled around to stand behind the Bhaalspawn. He adjusted the lapels of the coat, openly grinning at his partner in the reflection of the mirror. “It’s nice to be adorned in such clean fabrics rather than blood and leather every now and then, isn’t it?”

Bhaal’s Chosen was brought back to reality; to being reminded of how he looked and felt. The glare Kaidos gave was no longer the common ‘I wonder how your fingers would feel sliding down my throat as you scream in agony and collapse to the floor’ but instead a much more dangerous ‘shut up or I won’t let you touch me for a week’.

And yet, Gortash still held his gaze through the mirror, waiting for a verbal response. A proper response.

“You also look handsome, Enver.”

The compliment had made the Banite stand up a little bit taller, a smug look he could not entirely fight off barely just making it to his face. “I know. Come, we cannot be too late.” 

Gortash turned Kaidos toward the door, gesturing for them to walk side by side as they left the bedroom and went out of the estate to where the all-black carriage was awaiting them. 

As expected, the Archduke climbed in first, but shortly followed after by his nearest and dearest.

“By the Murder Lord, you need to commission for a bigger carriage.”

“Oh, just sit down and be quiet. You fit fine.”

“I definitely do not.” Kaidos purposely pushed Gortash’s feet to the side with his own, just to emphasise how much more leg room he felt he required.

Gortash pushed back, the two childishly scowling at one another as the carriage started to move.

“You better behave more than this once we arrive. If you do not, you will not be allowed to claim your end of the bargain.”

“Oh, like you could stop me?”

Gortash raised a brow at Kaidos, the slightest hint of amusement behind his eyes. “Are you willing to try and find out?”

“Your pride will be your downfall, Enver; threatening Bhaal’s own son like this.”

Bhaal’s own son knows that we have a deal, and that he must keep up his end of the bargain. It is only fair.”

Kaidos grumbled, looking out of the window at the Upper City streets passing them by. The streets were so quiet past curfew. It was nicer without the common rabble littering the cobblestones. Under Father’s guidance, and with time, all of Baldur’s Gate would soon be this quiet.

But not this evening, unfortunately.  

The carriage jostled, its inhabitants dealing with the disruption with varying degrees of grace. Gortash had simply moved with it, whilst Kaidos couldn’t not cavil. His knees bumped up against the Archduke’s, and the gold links decorating his tail clinked against one another. They dug in ever so slightly, but it was impossible to ignore. 

“Bhaal below, you need to distract me before I do something I cannot take back.”

Gortash raised a brow at Kaidos, perfectly calm himself. If this space wasn’t so confined with him as the only other living being within it, he may have considered continuing to watch him struggle – to watch him overcome his own mind on his own. But alas, he could see the twitch to the Bhaalspawn’s fingertips, and the tension within his jaw, and he knew he did not want to die this evening.

“I was going to keep it as a surprise, but I may as well tell you now.” Gortash said, adjusting his posture to be more proper. “I’ve been considering getting a new painting of you, but you may have to pose for it.”

“What type of painting?” 

He gave a small shrug as he considered whether or not to tell Kaidos the specifics. After a moment, he decided he had nothing to hide. “Something more revealing than the others. I haven’t yet decided how much more revealing, though.” 

“Could your jealousy take another person seeing me naked?”

“Oh please, I am not insecure.” He could not fully meet his partner’s eye as he answered.  “An artist would not look at you the same way a simpleton might. They would look at you to capture your essence — not to wonder what your physical capabilities may be.”

Kaidos smiled in amusement. “Where would you display it?”

“Somewhere private. The bedrooms within the estate near Gond Gate are somewhat empty still. What better art to decorate it with than your glorious form.” 

“You could position it near the windows so those in the Helm and Cloak can see it from their rooms.” The Bhaalspawn grinned like a naughty boy. “That would make their prices worth it.”

Gortash lightly kicked Kaidos’ foot as a half-hearted scolding. “It would bleach the painting if positioned like that, you fool.” He could not keep the amused smile off of his own face at the thought of how outraged nobles would become if they did look out of their window to see a fully nude painting of a particularly vascular, heavily inked tiefling.

Kaidos looked proud that he had broken Gortash out of his persona of being proper and well-composed, albeit marginally. He lifted his feet, heels thunking down to the left of Gortash’s hip on his bench. The Banite rested his hand on Kaidos’ shin before snaking around to fondly hold his pronounced calf.

“I will pose for your painting, Enver, but on two conditions.”

Gortash gave a near imperceptible nod, showing that he was listening.

“Firstly, I want the painter for myself afterwards. And second, I don’t want you to request any edits to it. I want all of my scars and tattoos to be included.”

“Are you sure? I didn’t know if you would want to include those made by that Myrkulite and Orin.” Mentioning either left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“They are a part of me, Enver. They get included. Otherwise, you’re just looking at somebody else, and I’d have to kill you for that.” 

Gortash simply nodded, giving his partner’s calf a firm squeeze. “And we couldn’t have that, could we?”

As soon as Kaidos turned his head to look out of the window, Gortash’s face dropped. He would follow the wishes of his partner, albeit reluctantly. It was undeniable that these scars were a part of Kaidos, but they were not parts of him which he wanted to be reminded of. Markings that had come from the Bhaalspawn being at his lowest – rendered down to nothing more than a gargling shell of a being by his own inferiors.

Orin had ruined him, thrown a spanner into the works of their plans. She had let her heart rule, and it had jeopardised them more than anybody had ever anticipated.

Tch, Orin .

She had done plenty of damage to Bhaal’s true Chosen. Inside and out, there were wounds that would never fully leave Kaidos’ being. Memories of his past self were forever gone. Gortash could only retell him so much. Who Kaidos was before Gortash, before the Temple of Bhaal, there was no retrieving that part of him. 

The Banite’s brows furrowed as he looked over his partner’s face.

On the right cheek lay a deep scar which splayed out in three directions; one tendril creeped across the bridge of his nose, while the other two respectively ran across his cheekbone and down toward his jaw. 

This had been Orin’s doing. 

It was a scar which that Myrkulite scum had haphazardly patched up before doing her own damage:

A large Y-shaped incision, inflicted by the hands of Kressa Bonedaughter, had healed into an unmissable scar stretching down the entire length of the Bhaalspawn’s torso. It had warped the large skull inked onto the tiefling’s abdomen. Although not currently visible, it was one Gortash had seen many times before. To begin with, it was all he could look at when Kaidos stood before him. 

Mangled, torn apart, sewn together, forced to keep going. 

It told a grim story; one that Gortash had grilled him on ceaselessly until he was certain he had gotten even the tiniest of details from the Bhaalspawn’s fractured mind. 

These scars had represented a man that had been beaten, but not one that had stayed down. For that part, Gortash respected him greatly. Most others would have simply rolled over and died; given up in the face of an abysmal defeat. But Kaidos had not. He had forced himself back into enough of a being to move, piece by piece, until it all gradually started to feel as normal as breathing once more. Driven by an entire cocktail of reasons to get back to the city, Kaidos had stopped at nothing to return back -- to return home.

Gortash would be a fool to think he would have ever been one of those reasons. Orin had made sure Kaidos would have forgotten him. And yet, there was always a twinge of hope deep within him that he desperately attempted to snuff out like a persistent lone candle that there had been a part of Bhaal’s Chosen that had remembered.

That amongst their evenings of Gortash retelling him of the months –  nae, years – they had spent together that something would have suddenly clicked. That everything would have come back and the Banite would no longer have to be filling in the blanks for him. He considered himself lucky that the emotions had at least remained the same. The way they had connected at the Archducal coronation had been the same feeling Gortash had felt during their very first meeting, hidden away in that dark office above Flymm’s Cargo, before they had even become their Lords’ Chosen. It proved they had been genuine from the start.

That thought alone made Gortash’s hardened expression soften, his fingers fondly squeezing the calf they had been cradling. 

In moments like these, Gortash was pleased he had returned. Their plans were back on track and the future seemed more prosperous than ever. 

The carriage jostled the Banite and Bhaalian as it turned onto a new street, the cobblestones uneven underneath the wheels. 

Kaidos couldn’t help it when he huffed out in frustration.

“I’m getting out first.”

“No you’re not. It would be improper to not let your Archduke go first.”

My Archduke? What happened to us being equals? I feel like I’m suffocating in here. I am getting out first.”

Gortash lightly shook his head, wordlessly continuing their little argument.

Kaidos could become just as silent. His feet turned inwards, lightly tapping Gortash’s waist in defiance.

“Don’t get this dirty.” Gortash was quick to scold and pull his partner’s feet away. He twisted his body slightly to check the coat to see if it had actually been tarnished. Thankfully no such damage had been made, but that didn’t stop the Banite from tutting and pushing the Bhaalspawn’s feet back onto the floor. “I’ve only owned this for twenty four hours.”

Kaidos didn’t fall for Gortash’s remarks. The already limited space of the carriage was starting to feel smaller and smaller as they passed through built up streets. 

The carriage jostled once more as it turned into the grand courtyard for the Songbird Theatre. And once more, Kaidos grumbled. 

“You are unbelievably dramatic at times, my dear.”

“Ride in a carriage too small for you and then see if I’m being too dramatic, my dear.

Kaidos kept true to his word. The carriage had barely come to a stop before he pushed the door open to climb out into fresh air.

But alas, Gortash was also sticking to his word.

With how fast the tiefling moved, he only had so much time and only so much Kaidos left to grab to stop him.

His right hand stretched out, grabbing his partner’s tail roughly midway down and pulling. 

An involuntary yelp left the Bhaalspawn. His knees almost buckled at the sudden pain of his spine being yanked so aggressively. He retreated back into the carriage and twisted around, an intense annoyance mixed into the permanent flames within his irises. 

A large hand snatched Gortash up by his throat, slamming him back against his seat. “Do that again, and I will cut your hands off and force feed them to you digit by digit, do you understand?” 

Gortash’s own hands came up, an exhilarated grin across his face as he gripped Kaidos’s wrist to hopefully lessen some of the pressure on his throat. “It wouldn’t have happened if you had listened to me.” 

Kaidos growled, his tail furiously whipping behind him. He ignored the sound of Banite soldiers approaching the open door of the carriage, some of them either brave or stupid enough to try and tell Bhaal’s Chosen to unhand their leader. 

“I’ll happily slice you open and rip your spine out once we get home tonight, Enver; give you a taste of your own medicine.” He squeezed harder for just the last few seconds before releasing his hand entirely. He continued to speak through the gasps and heavy breathing of the Archduke. “Don’t do that shit again.”

Kaidos climbed out of the carriage completely, the Banite soldiers wordlessly stepping out of his way as he paced around the private courtyard to control his volatile levels of anger. It would not do to be this upset just before an event that would require him to sit still for multiple hours. 

Gortash came out of the carriage second, ignoring all subordinates who may have attempted to help him down. His fingers still caressed his throat to soothe it, all while his eyes remained trained on the pacing tiefling. 

He walked around like a caged tiger, simply waiting for somebody to open the door and allow him to rampage freely. 

There was a part of him that liked when Kaidos stood up to him; when he demonstrated he clearly was not scared of him.

He liked it when Kaidos would put him in his place. 

He liked it when they were equals.

“Come along.” Gortash waved a casual hand as he took the lead. 

His Faithful obediently followed behind at a respectable distance, none of them overtly reacting when their leader placed a gentle hand on the small of the Bhaalspawn’s back, just above the root of his tail.

They also did not react when the hand was quickly pushed off as a warning, nor at the mocking tut their leader let out as such an puerile action. 

The Faithful set to be stationed metres outside of the royal box with only a curtain separating them and the couple resigned themselves to what they knew the next few hours would be like with how Gortash was not even attempting to keep his hands to himself. 

It would be a long night for all involved.