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Phayu rarely feels nervous.
He's been scared before, terrified even. The panic of Rain's kidnapping still manages to find him on his lowest nights. But he's never felt truly nervous.
Until today.
Rain's graduation is coming up quickly, him and Sky buried under assignments, exams, and deadlines. Phayu watches with pride, while Rain still struggles with theory, it's so obvious his smart boy has grown as an architect in ways Phayu knew he could.
As they neared the finish line, Phayu’s mind began to drift. Pai (his idiotic best friend) had proposed to Sky in their first year, and while Phayu had refused to be jealous, he had been bitter. He had wanted to propose to Rain since the day he first held his sweet boy, from that first moment Phayu knew he could never find anyone like that ever again, Rain was, and will always be, the one. Even if Phayu had tried he would have never been able to come up with something even remotely as perfect as Rain.
And Phayu was going to make Rain his. He wanted to do right by Rain, and after the news of the marriage equality act being passed (Phayu hadn't known until Rain had jumped on him in excitement), he knew what he had to do.
Hence the cause for Phayu's nervousness. Phayu was going to ask Rain's father for his permission to marry Rain. Technically Phayu didn't need it, Type had already out right stated he expected Phayu to marry Rain at some point, and Tharn had hummed in agreement. Plus Rain was a guy, no matter the words they used, so social convention didn't technically apply. But Rain was extremely close to his parents, and Phayu knew how much the gesture meant to him.
So Phayu was heading over to Rain’s parents house, without Rain.
Knocking on the door, Phayu took a steadying breath, trying not to let his nerves show. He worked as a mechanic for an illegal race circuit (that his in-laws did not know about), and had faced bigger threats than this.
Tharn opened the door.
“Phayu?” He looked around, clearly expecting to see his son.
“Rain’s at Sky’s,” he quickly explains, “I was hoping to speak with you and Pa?”
“Oh, Type isn't home right now. Techno had a…” Tharn waved his hand in a way that he regularly used for talking about Rain’s uncle, “Would I suffice on my own?”
Phayu would love to say no, to ensure there was a buffer. Despite the years it's been since Tharn had outright hated him (or even disapproved of him), Phayu can't seem to fully squash that tiny thread of insecurity.
He nods instead.
Tharn and Type's house has always been homey, even when Tharn didn't like him, Phayu couldn't help but think that. When Rain was a baby, Tharn worked more from home, so a lot of the domestic tasks fell to him (except cooking). Now, years later, Tharn still kept the home clean but not pristine. It felt like a place you could be in, unlike the pictures Phayu would see in architectural magazines that were clearly staged. Tharn leads him to the living room, where the coffee table has books and assorted papers lying around, two mugs that haven't made it to the kitchen, a water bottle, and a folder with the hospital signia that Type works at.
Tharn retakes his seat on the couch, Phayu taking the love seat that Rain likes to curl up with him on family night. (Phayu will never reveal how long it took him to find that particular seat when he learned how much Rain loved the one at his parents house. The model was out of production, so Phayu had to pay extra to get one, but it was well worth it when he got a sleepy Rain curled up in lap during movie night.)
“So,” Tharn asks, “What can I do for you?”
For all of the nervousness Phayu felt, he was still him, which meant only one course of action. “I wanted to ask for your permission to marry Rain.”
Tharn’s eyebrows shot up. He was quiet for a full minute, making Phayu itch with anxiety, before he slowly reached for the water bottle. Phayu wonders if this is what Rain feels like all the time? He needs to give his sweet boy more credit for everything he's accomplished.
“Did Type ever tell you the story about when I first met his parents?”
Phayu raised a brow. Type's parents have been off limits since their disastrous trip back in Rain’s first year. Phayu has only seen Rain’s Grandma twice since then, both times she took the trip to Bangkok leaving her husband behind (under strict orders by Type). Rain hadn't even entertained the idea of speaking with his grandfather, let alone seeing him. For Tharn to bring them up now makes confusion whirl up inside of him. He shakes his head.
Tharn sighed, leaning back, “Type and I had been together two years? My family loved Type, so I was hopeful that I could have that kind of relationship with his. Khun Phawattakun met us at the ferry, and was all excited to meet Type's partner…”
Phayu can at least put two and two together, “Pa never said his partner was a man?”
Tharn shakes his head, “He fainted when Type explained.”
Phayu does not choke on his spit, but it's a near thing. He knew Tharn and Rain’s grandfather never got on, but to out right faint seemed dramatic.
“Yeah,” Tharn nodded, “took us both by surprise. We had to drag him back to the house, Ma was not pleased. We talked for a while after.”
“Where was Type's Pa?”
“In the chair next to us, still passed out.”
Phayu gaped at that. The trek from the ferry to the house has not been short, for Rain’s grandfather to be passed out that long seemed impossible.
Tharn gives a weak chuckle, “Do you know what got him to wake up?”
Phayu can guess.
“Ma joked about the dowry payment. He was on his feet in an instant, yelling about how that wouldn't happen and other things.” Tharn shakes his head, “Type and I hadn't even discussed marriage yet.”
If Phayu stills feels threads of insecurity years after Tharn's cold fronts, how does Tharn manage with the outright rejection? Phayu has sworn to himself and Rain that he would never come between Rain and his parents. Tharn and Type were amazing parents, and despite everything, they had come to welcome Phayu into their family. He wonders if this is partially to blame for Tharn’s behaviour, deep seated insecurity from years of rejection. Phayu does not usually wish ill of others, but he has a burning desire to throw Rain's grandfather off of a roof.
“He never got over it.” Tharn continues, unknowing to Phayu's internal thoughts.
Phayu knows this, having witnessed it first hand. “I'm sorry.” It's the only thing that Phayu can think to say. He knows Tharn was hurt by the rejection, can hear it in his voice even twenty years after the events, but it's not as if anything he could say could help ease the pain.
“I'm glad that Rain found you, I know I wasn't the most welcoming.”
“It's alright.” And Phayu does mean that. Tharn had welcomed Phayu into his family, and had become an important person in Phayu's life. He looked forward to family meals, particularly Sunday brunch. He enjoyed talking with Tharn about their respective jobs, while Type and Rain gossiped.
“Let me ask you something, Phayu.”
Phayu nods.
“You will take care of Rain for the rest of your life?”
“Of course.” Phayu doesn't even need to think about it, he'll do anything for Rain.
“You'll love him, even when he's a handful?”
Phayu smiles, “Always.” Phayu loves Rain because he's a handful.
“You'll make him happy everyday.”
“Yes.” Tharn is now mirroring Phayu's smile.
“Well Phayu,” Tharn leans forward, the melancholy of before melting away, “I don't think there is anyone better for my son. You don't need my permission to marry Raun, but if you would like it, it's yours.”
Phayu gives a deep waii, “Thank you Dad.”
“Thank you Phayu, I am glad to have met you.”
And later when Phayu finally proposes after endless preparations, it'll be Tharn that cheers the loudest at the party. A bright smile as he crushes them both in hugs. (And what Phayu will never know is how that one conversation healed something inside of Tharn. That Tharn was able to give Phayu what he had been denied for years. As Tharn watches his son and son-in-law, the warm weight of his own husband beside him, Tharn will finally let go of that last shred of hurt).