Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2016-02-14
Words:
1,173
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
2
Kudos:
41
Bookmarks:
2
Hits:
777

Dead End

Summary:

Orihara Izaya hasn’t not envisaged his own death. Right now, he’s contemplating this very matter on an empty rooftop.

Notes:

Author's note:
Attention:
※This is a depressing product after reading the 12 volume spoiler, it's short, obscure, and ambiguous.

Work Text:

<<< 

 

 

Orihara Izaya hasn’t not envisaged his own death. Right now, he’s contemplating this very matter on an empty rooftop.

If he categorized all the probable scenarios into three groups, the first one would be a painful death from embroiling in wars between gangs and other threatening organizations in the underworld, the second one be an ugly end plotted and avenged by the humans he toyed with. And these are within his scope of calculation. 

He has roamed vigilantly between manifold dangers for years, but even him — the omnipotent informant, is nonetheless a mere human being, and humans can’t calculate their lives without possible errors, Orihara Izaya isn’t an exception. 

Therefore, he, while shielding himself to the greatest possible extent, has always been prepared for the worst「accident」. 

This is the paradox of Orihara Izaya, who cowardly clings to his life despite his craving for all the goods and the evils in the world. 

As to the third group, it is his demise in the hands of his nemesis Heiwajima Shizuo.

At this point, the ordinary human smile affixed to his face ripples faintly as if a rock is thrown into a once-tranquil water. 

Which floor did Shizu-chan get to? He probably didn’t wait for the elevator, considering his imprudent nature, but that monster is probably faster than the elevator anyway. 

Izaya fishes out his beloved switchblade from his sleeves as he dwells on his assumption. And yet, his heart wavers as he twiddles with the blade's sturdy, sharp edge. 

What kind of dagger can sever his carotid artery? 

Or, what kind of tool should I use to sever the fate intermingled between us over the years?

He has pondered such questions countless times, asking himself over and over again. But none of these times are as exigent as today, so vehement that waves of intense pain bombard his eardrums. 

If it was during their usual times, he would flagrantly provoke him to soothe his anxiety. 

Although the conclusion Izaya drew is irrelevant to the question, it abruptly relieves him of all worries. 

— If I kill Shizu-chan, I can like myself.

He thoroughly convinces himself as a direct result of the newly gained composure stems from this fresh lie, which is akin to how he put his faith in past lies as「humans should also love me」without a shadow of doubts. 

The most absurd lie can topple the truth in a world without the monster.

He thinks, maybe this is what he has always been longing for. 

After clarifying the point, Izaya gazes down at the densely populated Ikebukuro streets and silently estimates Shizuo’s speed. Then he submits himself to an ethereal euphoria, which soon boils his blood and jams his brain. 

Clump. Clump. 

Uncertain whether it's from hallucination or reality, he senses the steady rhyme of heavy footsteps reverberating in undetectable sound waves that vacillate directly with his heartbeats. 

If he can’t kill Heiwajima Shizuo by himself.

If he dies on Heiwajima Shizuo’s hand. 

These are two distinct outcomes, but they lead to the same destination. Under the long, expectant gaze, the door to the rooftop opens. It's not damaged by violence, but rather opened in an exceptionally peaceful manner.

Staring at his own figure reflected in the pair of amber eyes, Orihara Izaya is astounded in a split second as if he has just unraveled an unsolvable secret. A sudden realization hits him with relief. 

Picturing the beautiful world without the monster, he once again, 

Smiles from the bottom of his heart. 

 

 

<<< 

 

 

 

There are many people in the world who provoked Heiwajima Shizuo, but the Orihara Izaya is the only one who enraged him to the point of birthing murderous intents.

From the annoying first sight to the proceeding constant disgust in high school, then to the abhorrence at this moment. 

He used to think that he’ll never be able to hold pure hatred toward anyone before meeting Izaya. After all, his temper comes fast and dissipates fast; if he beat someone who pissed him off today, he’ll forget everything by the next morning.

In spite of his hot temper, Heiwajima Shizuo is not a man of hate and resentment.

But now, this scalding fieriness wriggling in his chest is surely the sentiment called hatred. And the one who kindled this sentiment is undoubtedly his nemesis, that damn Orihara Izaya. 

Shinra has told him in the Raijin days: 「Although Izaya and you express mutual hostilities, they are different in nature. You're filled with raw disgust toward Izaya, it’s an instinctive aversion without any rationality. But as for Izaya toward you, his hatred might contain some conclusions from logical thinkings, so it has a purpose. 」

After noticing the listener’s growing impatience due to the complicated ambiguity of his statements, Shinra clarified further: 「Your existence turned Izaya’s declaration of his love of humanity into a paradox, thus he developed some complex over you. He wants you to disappear at all costs to logically establish his self-deceptive rationale.」

Shizuo didn’t digest Shinra’s speech at the moment, or rather, he didn’t want to digest it. He didn't care to know anything pertaining to Orihara Izaya, let alone understanding it. Therefore, he could never understand the reasons behind Izaya’s tireless provocations and his persistence of poking at his bottom line. 

But there is one point that he can understand with mere intuition. 

— Orihara Izaya has always wanted something. 

The more Izaya angers him, the stronger is that unnatural luster in his crimson eyes. 

Can anyone even find such joy from seeing something brewing inside someone who he utterly despised? It has baffled him since.

But as to what that「something」is, it's outside what he can grasp. 

Stamping the last step of the flight, Shizuo gazes at the vulnerable door panel. The rampaging rage in his blood is compressed into a cold, murderous intention. 

He has never thought of the day when he is not controlled by his temper, but rather ruling over his temper to reach his goal. 

Once he opens this door, he will see Orihara Izaya.

The day is probably destined for them since the first day they met, the two incompatible people can’t avoid a deadly fight that leaves only one winner, or none. 

It’s as if they are guided by fate to circle back to the final destination after all the divergences and detours. 

Just open the door, snap Orihara Izaya’s neck, and then his daily life won’t be subjected to any more disturbances, and he can finally release himself from the cursed relationship and embark on his fresh, peaceful life. 

Isn't everything so reasonable? 

Heiwajima Shizuo imagines the beautiful world without Orihara Izaya while turning the doorknob with an expression he fails to notice.

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                     FIN

 

For "nemesis", the original phrase is "犬猿之仲” (the Chinese translation of the Japanese proverb “犬猿の仲”), which means the mutual hatred relationship between two natural enemies — dogs, who solve problems with violence, and monkeys, who solve problems with heads. I think they go with Shizuo's and Izaya's personalities really well.