Chapter Text
I woke up to a horrible feeling and the smell of fire. I jumped down from my bed clutching my favorite stuffed animal - an orange tabby cat named Kitty - and padded hesitantly over to the door.
Suddenly, the door burst open and Momma was standing there. She was still wearing her nightgown and her light brown hair was messy. Over the nightgown, she wore her jacket, which was blue with patches all over it. Over her heart was a blue circle with red lines over it and the word NASA. Next to it on her shoulder was the American flag. Momma had told me about the other patches and their meanings, but I forgot them. Her chest rose and fell quickly and her panicked eyes landed on me. “Astra!” she said. I could hear the relief in her voice as she rushed into my room, wrapped me in her jacket, and pulled my sleep shirt over my nose and mouth.”Don’t breathe in the smoke.” she ordered, then grabbed my arm and ran out the door, pulling me with her.
“What’s going on?!” I asked, panicking. She didn’t answer. She dragged me towards the stairs so fast I almost tripped. It was then that I saw the fire. It had already engulfed all of the downstairs rooms. How did it get this bad without us waking up? I thought. Deja-vu hit me. This seems familiar … Before I could ask, Momma rushed us to her room and to the window. She let go of me to open it and ushered me out. I stood on the roof watching her clamber out too. She climbed down one of the poles on our porch and told me to do the same as she stood on the ground to catch me if I fell.
As soon as my feet hit the ground I looked around. We were in our backyard. It was tiled around the pool and the concrete path led around it and to the gate to the alley behind our house. I didn’t see anyone else. “Where’s Daddy?!” I asked, terrified.
Momma looked around then back at the house. “He told me to get you first,” Her eyes widened in fear, ”He must still be in there!” She took a step towards the house then stopped and looked at me. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked between me and the burning house that Daddy was stuck in. She sank to her knees to look me in the eye. “Stay here. I am going to get him.” She kissed me on the forehead, then ran into the house.
I stood where she left me looking at the house and waiting for them. Minutes passed and no one appeared. What if they need my help? I shook the thought away. I was a good kid, I would listen to my mother. What if they’re stuck? I wrapped my arms tighter around Kitty and stayed put as my eyes teared up.
What if they’re dead?
With that thought, I ran through the door and into the house. The smoke was thick and the heat was nearly unbearable. Where could they be? I thought. Suddenly, a cough sounded from the living room and I ran toward it. On the floor were both of my parents in the middle of the fire. All at once I remembered why the fire had seemed familiar. I had had nightmares about this for weeks. I never thought that they would come true. I ran to them.
“Momma! Daddy!” I cried.
“Astra! What are you doing here?!” Momma coughed, raising her head. Daddy’s arm was around her shoulders, like she had been helping him walk. He still hadn’t raised his head. “You need to get out of here!” Her voice was hoarse and hurt to even hear.
“Not without you and Daddy!” I shouted and grabbed her arm, trying to pull her up, but Daddy had fallen on top of her, so she couldn’t move. I grabbed his shoulder and shook him. “Come on, we have to go!” I shouted at him.
“Astra… stop.” Momma said, tears running down her cheeks. “He’s-” her voice cracked,”He’s gone.”
“What?!” My emotions all hit me at once. Shock, sadness, anger… and guilt. This is my fault. If I hadn’t waited so long, he would still be alive . “He can’t be-“
Momma’s hand grabbed mine.”You have to go. Get out of here!”
“But-”
Suddenly, the air next to me started to… distort? It seemed to open up and through it I could see places I didn’t recognise. A forest of tall alien colored trees, a dark landscape with tall plants that glowed red, a desert with two suns, and fields of snow. I was mesmerized by it. I leaned closer, and it started to drag me forward. I flailed around, trying to grab something to stop myself. Momma’s hand was still holding mine, but it was losing grip.
“Momma!” I yelled.
“Astra! Hold on!” Momma’s hand was slowly slipping from my grasp as the distortion pulled at me harder and harder. The distortion gave one last tug, and I fell into it.
The last thing I saw was my mother holding her hand out to me with my father next to her, his strawberry blond hair glinting in the firelight, and the fire spreading ever closer.
I woke up to the feeling of grass tickling my arms. I shot up. When did I fall asleep? A searing headache cut through my head. The sky above me was blue and all I could see for miles was yellow grass, the same color as the hills that surrounded the city I lived in. But this field was flat as far as the eye could see, nothing like the rolling hills of my home. Where am I? What is this place? How did I get here? I remembered the fire and my mom and dad. My eyes teared up. They were dead. It's my fault. If I had gone with Momma in the first place, they wouldn’t be dead. I sobbed, clutching my mother’s jacket and Kitty close to me.
They found me hours later after unfamiliar stars filled the sky.
***
I shook off the horrible memory. That day, eight years ago, was the last time I had felt this vulnerable.
I was standing in a small circular room with windows all around me showing a spectacular view of the sparkling city below and a huge domed building far off in the distance. Against the windows, were twelve chairs, in which sat twelve Jedi masters. On either side of me stood the two Jedi who had brought me here, Obi-wan and Anakin, who seemed to be only a year or two older than me. Why did they bring me here? They had taken away my belongings, including my weapons and my armor, one of the most important things to me. This armor is your life, Buir had said, handing me my helmet for the first time. Buir. My eyes filled with tears. I missed her.
“So. Astra.” My gaze flicked to the bald Jedi in front of me. He seemed to be in charge. “You are the force anomaly we’ve been looking for, correct?”
My eyebrows furrowed. “Force anomaly?”
An orange alien-looking Jedi to my right spoke,”A force anomaly is a disturbance in the force. It causes ripples that vary in strength, depending on how powerful it is. Whatever caused this disturbance was felt across almost the entire galaxy.” His voice was muffled slightly by the gas mask he wore. His voice was warm and whatever ‘force’, as he called it, that I could feel from him was kind. I decided I liked him.
I opened my mouth to ask a question, but the bald jedi interrupted. “What happened eight years ago?”
“That is none of your business.” I stated quickly, glaring at him.
“Actually, it is our business. We investigate anomalies in the force to make sure they are not a danger to the galaxy. Now, what happened eight years ago?” The Jedi said, putting a hand on his forehead.
I crossed my arms over my chest and frowned. “I was transported through a portal.”
The Jedi masters looked at each other. “What do you mean ‘transported through a portal’?” he asked.
I pressed my lips together.”I was on my home planet and… the air seemed to… open. Through the gap I could see a bunch of different places I didn’t recognise. I saw snow, weird alien forests, and even a desert with two suns.” Anakin traded a look with Obi-wan over my head.”It pulled me through and I landed on the planet Lothal.”
The Jedi all talked amongst themselves as if I wasn’t there, except for the small green alien sitting next to the bald Jedi. He seemed to be studying me. “Force-sensitive, are you not?” The room fell silent and everyone looked at me.
“I am Ka’ra -touched.” I stated, raising my chin.
The small alien tilted his head at me and Obi-wan cut in,”Master Yoda, Ka’ra -touched is the mandalorian version of force-sensitive.” I looked up at Obi-wan. How does he know Mando’a?
“Then a Jedi, you must become.” Yoda said. The Jedi masters looked at him in shock.
“Excuse me?”
“Greatness, I sense in you. A great Jedi you will become.” he said.
“I-I can't be a Jedi! I have friends, family to return to!”
“A Jedi you will become. Learn to do away with attachments, you must.”
The bald Jedi seemed to snap out of the shock.”Master Yoda, she can’t be a Jedi, she is far too old.” He gestured to Anakin.”We believed Skywalker was too old to be accepted, and he was only nine!”
“Master Windu, feel the force around her, do you not? See the shatterpoints, do you? Accepted, she must be.”
This can’t be happening.
There was no way back to
Buir
. They took my comlink with the rest of my stuff and they didn’t seem to like mandalorians, so I probably wouldn’t get my gear back. It would be almost impossible to find someone without a comlink on this planet-wide city. Tears pricked my eyes and I thought of my friends and family.
Buir. Ba’vodu. Ba’vod. Vod’e shek’eta shek’yc. I already miss them all.