Chapter Text
Ford leaned into the couch cushions and watched his favorite show- Smiling Buddies. “Oh man. This show is so funny.” He chuckled before hitting his blunt. He looked around the basement. It was decorated with posters of various jam bands and reeked of cannabis smoke that had accumulated over the decades.
Suddenly, his brother shouted something from upstairs. “Sixer?! Can you come up here please?”
“Ugh- fine!” Ford rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen upstairs. Unsurprisingly, it was much cleaner than the basement.
Stan greeted him with a gentle smile, clad in a sweater vest and windbreaker. “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to a peace protest tonight. President Kardashian and Prime Minister Seinfeld are getting nowhere in their negotiations so-“
Ford rolled his eyes, still pissed about getting called upstairs. “I don’t know international politics, Stan. What do you need?” He stuffed his six-fingered hands in the pocket of his hoodie.
“I just wanted you to know where I’d be.” Stan continued. “Keep your phone on you in case I get arrested and need to be bailed out on a school night. I’m a tenured sociology professor at MIT, after all. My students are counting on me for a quality education!” He turned around and headed towards the door. “Oh- and there’s vegan pizza in the fridge if you get hungry!”
“Yeah. I’m good, Stan.” Ford let out an exasperated sigh and went back to the basement. Couldn’t that all have been communicated through text?! As he sat back down on the couch, he got a notification on his phone. “Fordcoin went down -50%!” Dammit! Now his new crypto scam was worthless to top it all off! At least he had a new DJ gig to go to. “Ughhh…” he groaned as he sunk into the couch. “My life sucks…”
“Hiya, Ford!” A purple square suddenly popped out from behind the coffee table and hopped onto it.
“Ack!” Ford nearly leapt off the couch in surprise. “What the hell is in this weed?!” He looked over at his joint- then back to the shape.
“I’m not a hallucination, friendo!” The one-eyed square happily chuckled and extended his hand. Ford reluctantly shook it. “The name’s Bill! I’m your dream angel!”
“Dream Angel?” Ford raised an eyebrow. “Is this some kind of NFT scam?”
“Good heavens no! Those are bad for the environment!”
Ford scowled. “You sound just like my twin brother.”
“I’m a benevolent being, Fordsie! I would never ever scam someone! Instead, I’m here to make your dreams come true!” He did a little twirl in the air.
“Oh cool!” Ford’s bloodshot eyes widened in curiosity. “So how many wishes do I get? Is this like some sort of genie shit?”
“Haha! You crack me up, Sixer!” He chuckled. How did he know Ford’s nickname?! “I’m here to help steer you in the right direction! Maybe help you get your career on track and get a girlfriend.”
“Alright.” Ford nodded and scratched his chin. “You have my attention.”
“Well, I was thinking that since you know two billionaires- Waddles and Soos- you could get a business loan from them and start your own business! Wouldn’t that be fun?” Bill asked enthusiastically.
“Nope. Can’t do that.” Ford shook his head. How did Bill even know that? “They refuse to give me any more money because my business ventures are either stupid, scams, or I just spend it all on pot.”
“Oh, pot!” Bill’s index finger shot up in the air in a ‘eureka’ moment. “You could grow and sell cannabis to people! That’s a good way to make money!”
“Wait- yeah! I could grow pot!” Ford whipped out his phone and googled something. Then he frowned. “Aw man. It costs 20 grand to get a license! Nobody would ever loan me that kind of money!”
“Well what about Fiddleford?” Bill suggested and pulled out a file folder with Ford’s name on it. “According to my initial scan of your memories, you had a rich college roommate named Fiddleford. You two seemed like good pals! Whatever happened between you?”
Ford’s eyes widened in surprise. Luckily, he was too high to react in any visceral or physical manner, but he was freaking out internally. “I uhh-“ he tried to think of the right words to describe their falling out. “Nothing. Nothing.” He nervously chuckled. “We just don’t talk anymore.”
“Well maybe you should give him a call!” Bill suggested. “Reconnecting with old friends is a great way to rekindle old business connections.”
“I suppose”, he sheepishly chuckled before looking up Fiddleford’s phone number and dialing it.
The phone rang for a few moments. Then it was finally answered. Fiddleford yawned into the receiver. “Hello?”
“Uhh- Hi, Fiddleford! It’s your old pal, Ford here.” He greeted rather nervously.
Fiddleford nearly shot out of bed at the sound of his old friend’s voice. “Ford?! It’s been thirty bloody years! How the hell are you?!” He seemed… happy?
Ford let out a sigh of relief. “Hi, Fiddleford. I was wondering if you could fly over to America next time and hang ou-“
“Already bought the plane tickets on my Expedia app.” Fiddleford got out of bed and started packing his suitcase. “In case you weren’t aware, I’m mighty chuffed about all this! It will be so nice to catch up and have a cuppa tea with you!”
“Yeah.” Ford nervously chuckled. “Will your wife be okay with all this?”
“Oh- Emma-May?” Fiddleford sighed. “We’ve been divorced for nearly twenty years.”
“Oh. Well I’m sorry to hear that.” He frowned. “Well- I’ll see you tomorrow evening I guess?”
“See you then!” Fiddleford hung up and Ford slumped back on the couch.
“Well that went better than expected!” Bill was ecstatic. “It looks like you got your friend back! Isn’t that exciting?!”
“Yeah…” Ford averted his gaze. “Sure…” The same thought started playing in his head over and over. Why does Fiddleford want to reconcile with me so badly?
How do I even begin to reconcile with him after all that I did?