Archive of Our Own ^beta

Miss Zanmu Nippaku,

To welcome you as the latest of Reimu Hakurei’s lovers, you and Miss Hakurei are cordially invited to an evening at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. This is to be a small gathering of three hosted by Her Ladyship Remilia Scarlet.

Refreshments will be served and there is no dress code, save that you make yourself presentable.

It is also requested that you arrive in the evening, as Her Ladyship is nocturnal and prefers not to be disturbed from her slumber.

There is no deadline to RSVP, but please do come at your earliest convenience, preferably before Miss Hakurei’s passing.

Awaiting your arrival,
Remilia Scarlet

Zanmu looked over the invitation for about the dozenth time. Such lavish penmanship for an invitation to what amounted to a simple meet-and-greet. Hard to read, too.

She looked over at Reimu, who was preoccupied with her own invitation. It read mostly the same, save for some rephrasing appropriate for the recipient. Also the fact it was addressed To my darling Reimu and signed Forever yours. And punctuated with a kiss mark.

“This Ms. Scarlet certainly isn’t shy about her biases,” she said.

“She isn’t shy about anything.” Reimu smiled. “But that’s what I love about her.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah. It took a while for her to be more honest about it, though. She used to put up more of a front, lots of bravado and posturing. Kind of like you.”

Zanmu raised an eyebrow. “You thought I was posturing?”

“I knew you were. You were all, ‘Your heart will dance in the palm of my hand,’ and stuff.” Reimu giggled. “It was kind of silly, looking back on it.”

“Yes, well...” Zanmu ran a hand through her hair, positioning her arm in such a way that Reimu couldn’t see her blush. “I suppose I was young and foolish back then.”

“That was barely a year ago.”

“Oh, hush up...”

That earned another giggle from Reimu. Zanmu couldn’t help but join in. Hard to deny her initial attempts at courting Reimu were less than impressive. She had assumed her usual eloquence would translate well into flirting and... Well, that old saying about assuming came to mind.

With a lull in the conversation, she looked ahead to the mansion in the distance. The western style building stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the shrine and village, owing in part to its grand size. No doubt the proprietress loved hosting large-scale parties.

Actually, that brought a question to mind. “Is she the type to bother with formal invitations for small gatherings?”

“Who, Remilia?” Reimu shook her head. “No, she usually just comes to invite me in person. Or sends her maid to do it. I wonder why she’s doing it this way...”

“Perhaps she was worried you would forget.”

“Come on, I’m not that forgetful,” Reimu grumbled. “Of course I’d remember something involving you two.”

Zanmu smiled. “Glad to know I’m worth remembering.”

“Of course you are. You both are.” Reimu smiled back.

They held each other’s gazes for a tender moment before turning back to the path ahead of them, only to stop in their tracks. They had arrived at the mansion, but...

The gates were wide open. And no one was there to greet them. Reimu had mentioned the gatekeeper tended to nod off on the job now and then, but nothing about outright abandoning her post.

Though if the individual lying face down on the entrance path was said gatekeeper, she technically didn’t.

Reimu rushed over to the prone figure, Zanmu upping her pace to follow close behind. As they got closer, it became clear she wasn’t napping. Dirt and scratches covered her clothes. And from the sound of her groaning, she was still part of the waking world, though she probably wished she wasn’t.

The gatekeeper managed to raise her head just enough to look up at Reimu. “Oh, hi, Reimu...” Each word came out strained. “Glad you could make it... Too bad about the timing, ha ha...” She turned to Zanmu. “Oh, and is this, uh...”

“What happened?” Reimu asked, concern on her face.

“Someone just showed up and asked if I knew anything about a god of destruction.” The gatekeeper forced herself up to her knees. It was a slow movement full of groans and winces. “I tried to turn her away, but...” Another groan as she clutched her middle, sucking breath in through clenched teeth.

“She forced her way in.” Zanmu cast a questioning glance at Reimu, silently asking if she knew any gods of destruction.

Reimu’s eyes turned skyward as she considered if anyone fit the bill, only to shake her head after a moment.

“Cracked a rib or two in the process, too...” The gatekeeper sucked in another breath, fought the urge to double over. “Ugh, for someone so short, she kicks like a horse.”

Short and kicks like a horse? That sounded like...

Before Zanmu could ponder that, Reimu knelt to one side of the gatekeeper and lifted her arm across her shoulders. Zanmu followed suit on the opposite side. With a nod to each other, the two lifted her up on her feet, an action made slightly cumbersome by the fact she was taller than both of them. If only Hisami were here.

Still, they managed, and began the slow walk across the stone path to the mansion proper.

“So what are we dealing with here?” From the resignation in Reimu’s voice, it sounded like she expected a fight.

“Uh, let’s see...” The gatekeeper thought for a moment, seemingly still a bit disoriented from the attack. “She mentioned her name and affiliation, but I can’t remember it at the moment.”

“Can you at least describe her?” Zanmu asked.

“Y-yeah, I can. Okay, I already mentioned she was short. Uh... She was wearing this weird hat and dress. I’ve never seen anything like them before.”

Not a very helpful description. But if the style was unfamiliar to the gatekeeper, that was about the best they could—

“Real pretty wings, though.”

“... Wings?” Realization dawned on Reimu’s face.

“Yeah. She had these big, black wings. Real beauties, I tell you...”

A short woman with black wings, wears a strange hat and dress, and kicks like a horse?

Reimu and Zanmu exchanged knowing looks. Only one person fit that description.

“I might be able to talk her down,” Zanmu said.

“You know that won’t work.” Reimu sighed. “I’ll just have to hunt her down and kick her out by force. Guh, this sucks. I just wanted to spend a nice evening with my girlfriends, but nooo...”

“You don’t want my help?”

“No, you don’t need to get involved in this. You want to look your best for Remilia, don’t you? And besides, you shouldn’t have to waste your visit fighting some dumb meathead. That’s my job.”

“Hey, it kinda sounds like you two know this woman...”

But the gatekeeper’s comment went ignored, as they finally reached the entrance. Reimu and Zanmu shared another look, nodded. After taking a moment to steel themselves, they pushed open the double doors and headed inside.

Fortunately, they didn’t have to look far for the uninvited guest. Or look at all, for that matter. There in the foyer, squaring off on opposite sides of the staircase, stood a maid and a woman wearing a strange hat and dress.

The latter glanced over at them, grinned. “Well, if it ain’t Reimu! And Miss Zanmu! Fancy meeting you two here!”

Saki Kurokoma. Matriarch of the Keiga Family, powerhouse among powerhouses, unstoppable force capable of moving even the most immovable objects... and judging by all the knives sticking out of her, someone’s new pincushion.

If she was in any pain, she didn’t show it.

Her grin faltered a bit when her gaze settled on the gatekeeper. “What’re you wasting your time on that weaking for?”

“To get her some help,” Zanmu answered in a pointed tone.

“Somebody beat her up and just left her out there,” Reimu added in an even pointier tone.

Saki shrugged dismissively. “Shouldn’t have gotten in my way if she didn’t wanna get trampled. Anyway, how ‘bout you help me instead. D’you know if a god of destruction lives here?”
“No. Go home.”

“... No you don’t know, or no they don’t live here?”

Reimu pinched the bridge of her nose. “Why are you looking for a god of destruction up here anyway? I thought you promised to save your surface world takeover for after I’m dead.”

“Hey, I’m a matriarch of my word! This is strictly Animal Realm business.”

“Animal Realm business. On the surface.”

“You got it! As for the why, I’m here to recruit that god! If I got the only one capable of destroying the indestructible Totetsu on my side... Uh...” Saki glanced around. “Speaking of, where is Totetsu?”

Zanmu frowned. “She isn’t with you, is she?”

“Yeah, she is. Or was. Must've split after I took care of that guard.” Saki smirked. “Bet she realized I’m about to nab me a god of destruction and ran off. Ever the coward, that Toutetsu.”

It was at that moment Zanmu noticed the weight on her shoulders disappeared. She turned to find Reimu and...no gatekeeper. But where did she go? She couldn’t have gotten far in her state, so how—

“Oh, right. Almost forgot she could do that.” Reimu breathed a sigh of relief, smiled at Zanmu. “Meiling’s going to be fine. Sakuya’s taking care of her.”

Sakuya? Ah, the maid who, come to think of it, also vanished just now.

Saki hadn’t noticed any of this, too busy nodding and muttering to herself. Likely plotting what she would do after finding this supposed god of destruction.

Now then, how to get rid of her...?

“But man, I wish she hadn’t bailed on me. Would’ve loved to see the look on her face when she realized how screwed she is!” Saki laughed. “Seriously though, where is she?”

“Over here, Saki.”

Everyone turned to the sudden voice and, sure enough, there she was.

Yuuma Totetsu. Head of the Gouyoku Alliance, pragmatist among pragmatists, immovable object incapable of budging under even the most unstoppable force, and judging by the bundle of food in her arms...

“Toutetsu, are you raiding pantries again?!”

“Yup.” Yuuma tossed a peach into her mouth, pit and all, swallowing it whole. “Was feeling a bit hungry, so I figured I’d help myself.”

Saki sighed, shook her head. “Remind me again why you followed me here? Got sick of stealing my food and decided to steal someone else’s?”

“Nah, I just came to see your plan blow up in your face.” Yuuma turned to the other two. “What about you tw—” Her eyes fell on Zanmu. “... Aw hell, you’re here?”

“Yuuma Toutetsu.” Zanmu’s tone carried as much warmth as her smile, which was to say none at all. “Lovely evening for a chance encounter, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, sure, let’s go with that…” Yuuma turned back to Saki. “By the way, don’t those hurt?”

“Huh?"

“The knives.”

“Oh, these?” Saki looked over the protrusions, plucked one out of an arm, shrugged and dropped it on the floor. “Guess I should take ‘em out. Gotta look presentable for gods, y’know.”

Yuuma gave Saki a once-over. Clothes slightly ruffled and dirtied, knives all over, and blood dripping out the freshly opened wounds as she removed them. “Already failed on that front.”

“Aww, what do you know?”

“More than you, that’s for sure.” Yuuma jabbed a thumb in Reimu and Zanmu’s direction. “They’d agree.”

“Please leave us out of this,” they said in unison.

Saki snorted. “Y’see Toutetsu, that’s your problem right there: You think too highly and mightily of yourself. Better watch out or your own ego’s gonna crush you before I do!”

“Please, you could never.”

“Oh, but I will! Once the god of destruction’s on my side, your ass is toast!”

“Doesn’t really count as you crushing me if the ‘god’ is doing it for you.”

“Sure it does! A victory for the individual is a victory for the whole Family!”

“You know, I’ve always hated that whole collectivist mentality you and Yachie have. You two just steal credit for your subordinates’ accomplishments and pass the buck when you screw up.”

“First off, never compare me to Kicchou! Second...”

As their argument further derailed, Zanmu considered what to do. Reimu said she would handle things herself, and there was her promise to stay out of Gensokyo’s affairs, but considering they were dealing with two of the Animal Realm’s biggest headaches...

She spared a glance at Reimu, who watched the bickering unfold with a particularly unamused expression. Perhaps she was looking for the right moment to strike, or waiting things out in the hopes they would wear each other down enough that she could simply kick them out and send them on their way. Both risky options liable to result in considerable amounts of collateral damage. Not to mention harm. And if she wanted to minimize both of those things, the best place to start was to lure them outside. But how to do that...?

“... and seriously, stay outta my pantry! You got no respect for people’s private property, y’know that?!”

Yuuma sneered. “That’s rich coming from the jackass always punching holes in my walls!”

“I don’t punch holes in your walls, I kick 'em!”

“Who ca—”

"With my legs!"

"Wh—"

“Legs can’t punch, you idiot!”

Yuuma’s eye twitched. One could swear steam blew out her nose. “You are the absolute last person who gets to call anyone that, you witless sack of horse—”

“Excuse me, if I could have everyone’s attention, please."

The new voice wasn’t exactly loud. It didn’t boom, or ring, or anything like that. At best, it could only barely be heard through the argument.

Yet despite that, it carried a distinct power, a firmness paired with confidence that anyone who heard it would listen.

That confidence was not unfounded. It cut through the bickering and silenced the beasts almost immediately. They exchanged confused looks, then looked to their observers, then followed said observers’ gazes to the staircase.

Descending the steps was a lady in a fine dress. A tad on the short side, possibly about as much so as Saki, but that did little to take away from the presence she exuded. She regarded her visitors, both invited and uninvited, with a smile. Zanmu noted how her gaze lingered on Reimu, eyes full of tender affection. Her bat-like wings even fluttered the tiniest bit.

“I’m so glad you all could make it on this fine evening.” She made her greeting with the finesse of one well-versed in hosting social events. Casting an amused glance to the beasts, she added, “Though I can’t help but notice we have some self-invites joining us.”

“Uh...” Taken aback by the sudden shift in focus over to her, Saki found herself at a momentary loss for words.

Yuuma took it upon herself to fill the dead air. “Yes, we’re very sorry for barging in uninvited. It’s just—”

“Oh, no need for apologies, this sort of thing happens all the time.” The lady gave a dismissive wave of her hand. “In fact, I quite like having surprise guests.”

“Really?” Yuuma said, sounding genuinely surprised. “Well, all the same, I do apologize. I’m Yuuma Totetsu, but just Yuuma’s fine.”

“And I’m Saki Kurokoma, also begging your pardon for barging in.” Saki gave a slight bow, rubbing the back of her head and grinning sheepishly.

The lady giggled. “No need to beg. Like I said—”

“Not apologizing for stomping all over your gatekeeper, though. You need a better one.”

“... Yes, well... Moving on from that—”

“Could lend you one of my people, if you’d like. They don’t exactly come cheap, but for the quality of the service—”

“Moving on from that.” Her tone suggested it was in Saki’s best interest to drop the sales pitch. “You said your name is Saki, yes? My maid told me you’re here looking for a...god, was it?”

“Yes, Miss, er...”

“Remilia Scarlet.”

“Yes, Miss Scarlet. A god of destruction, to be exact. I, uh... I don’t suppose there’d be one living here?”

Amusement twinkled in Remilia’s eyes. “As a matter of fact, there is. We have a ‘god of destruction’ living in our very basement. Just take the staircase at the far end of the hallway to your left. She tends to roam around, so you might have to search a bit, but you’ll know her when you see her.”

“Perfect!” Saki laughed. It was a surprisingly jovial sound for someone on the cusp of obtaining a great and terrible power. “Better write your will now, Toutetsu, 'cause your days are numbered!”

With that, she dashed off. Nobody moved to follow her. They just stood there and watched her bolt down the hallway.

Reimu broke the silence with a sigh. “I’m gonna go keep an eye on them, make sure they don’t bring the whole place down on us.”

“Oh, but darling~” With a flap of her wings, Remilia hovered off the ground, wrapped her arms around Reimu’s shoulders. “You’re here to see me, aren’t you? Just leave them to their fun while we have ours~”

Reimu chuckled as Remilia nuzzled into her neck. “Sorry, but I just can’t relax knowing we’ve got youkai from the Animal Realm here. And besides...” She glanced over at Zanmu. “It’s not just me you wanted to see, right?”

Remilia stopped nuzzling to look at Zanmu, who regarded her with a knowing smile.

Yes, it was all too obvious why Remilia arranged for this little gathering. It didn’t take much to realize why she would single out Zanmu, the newest of Reimu’s lovers, and not invite any of the others.

“I suppose you’re right,” she said with a dramatic sigh. “But do try to spend some time with us, won’t you? I’d hate for you to come all this way just to work.”

“Me too. But I’m sure it’ll be fine. If things start getting out of hand, I’ll just kick them out.”

They shared a quick hug, smiled at each other, then separated. Reimu turned her attention to Yuuma. “As for you...”

“Eh, don’t worry about me. Like I said, I’m just here to watch Saki’s stupid plan blow up in her face. So, if you don’t mind, I’ll just be—”

“Coming with me.”

Reimu grabbed Yuuma by the collar and dragged her off.

“Hey!” Yuuma protested. “I was gonna come watch! You don’t have to drag me! Let go!”

But Reimu did not let go. “You two make nice now,” she said to the others. “Don’t go causing any trouble.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, dear,” Remilia replied.

“I’m sure we’ll be the best of friends by the time you’re back,” Zanmu added.

Reimu gave them the kind of smile that said, I don’t entirely believe you but I’m just going to have to trust you on this one. With a protesting but not struggling Yuuma in tow, she headed off after Saki.

After seeing her off, Remilia turned to face Zanmu. “Now then... Zanmu Nippaku, yes? It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Likewise, Miss Remilia Scarlet. I must admit, I never expected to be invited to a gathering with any of Reimu’s other lovers. Though...” Zanmu chuckled dryly. “It’s not exactly much of a gathering now, is it?”

“It is what it is. It’s more fun when things don’t go exactly to plan anyway. We’ll just have to make the best of it and have a more private gathering.”

Another chuckle. “I’ve never heard of a private gathering with just two people before. But regardless, I agree. Better to just make the best of things and have a little one-on-one.” The knowing smile from before returned. “If that’s alright with you.”

Remilia returned the smile in kind. “Of course. Come, I know the perfect spot.”

The veranda was one of Remilia’s favorite parts of the mansion. Located off to the side, it offered the perfect spot to relax and enjoy a view of the garden, have a conversation over tea. Secluded enough to feel private, while also open enough that guests wouldn’t feel claustrophobic. That way, they could relax and open up about themselves.

Which was very important here because, from what Remilia could gather, Zanmu Nippaku would be a tough nut to crack.

They sat opposite each other at a small table. The tea was already prepared by the time they got there, but with Sakuya nowhere to be found. Most likely went right back to looking after Meiling. But that was fine. Preferable, even.

Remilia took a sip, hummed in approval. Oolong, amber in color, and sufficiently sweet without needing any additional honey or sugar. Another perfect brew.

Zanmu seemed to think much the same. It was subtle, but the way her brow rose ever so slightly hinted at her own approval.

At the same time, she clearly lacked experience with western-style tea, or at least western-style teacups. She waited for Remilia to go first, then copied her etiquette down to the last detail, even the extended pinky. But to her credit, she did copy it well. If a bit slowly.

“A tad sweeter than I’m used to, but certainly no less excellent for it. My compliments to the brewer.” Zanmu set her cup down. “And to you and your keen eye for finding such excellent staff, of course.”

Opening with flattery, are we? Albeit prefaced with an unecessary remark that it isn’t to her exact tastes. But oh well, all compliments were welcome.

“Why thank you! And yes, I dare say you’ll never find a better maid than Sakuya.”

“Though I do worry about your gatekeeper. Does she always deal with such unruly trespassers?”

“No, that, er... Saki, was it? She’s a bit of an outlier. Most of them usually have the decency to challenge Meiling to a proper duel first. Or just sneak in through the back. Or the side. Or the front while she’s sleeping.”

“Oh dear...”

Remilia waved off the concern. “It’s nothing to worry about. Really, Meiling is more of a...filter, you could say.”

“Filter?” Zanmu sounded genuinely intrigued. “You mean to say you welcome trespassers?”

“Interesting trespassers. Those two self-invites seem to have something of a history with you and Reimu, so I imagine they’ll be worth keeping around for a little while.”

“I’d argue they’re more trouble than anything...” Zanmu grinned. “But then again, there’s no need to worry when our dear Reimu has her eye on them.”

Remilia grinned back. “Indeed there isn’t.”

In other words, focus on what’s right in front of you. There’s a pecking order to establish.

There was a brief pause in the conversation. Zanmu took the initiative. “Speaking of trespassers, has Reimu ever been one of them?”

Cutting straight to the Reimu talk? Oddly straightforward for someone who had been described as doing everything the roundabout way. Might as well play along and see where this goes.

“Oh my, yes. In fact, that was how we met.” Remilia sighed dreamily, resting her chin in her hands. “I’ll never forget that night for as long as I live. It feels like it was both so long ago and just yesterday.”

“It must have been quite the fateful encounter.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe. Or, well, perhaps you would.”

“I might have some idea.”

The two shared a giggle. Yes, best to establish a common ground now. That way, when Remilia had sufficiently established herself as the superior lover for Reimu and just superior in general, there would be no hard feelings.

“It was a Summer much like this one,” Remilia said. “I wanted to go outside, but the days are long and the heat is unbearable, even at night. So I began to think, ‘What could a vampire like me do against her natural enemy at this time of year?’

“And then it came to me: I wouldn’t have to deal with the sun if there was no sun to deal with. Destroying it was out of the question, obviously, but blocking it out? That, I could do. And so I did, and covered the sky in a—in my personal opinion—beautiful scarlet mist. No more sunlight, no more unbearable heat, just the freedom to go out and do whatever I wanted whenever I pleased.”

Zanmu nodded, her thoughtful gaze focused down at her tea. “That sounds nice for you and your nocturnal kin, but I can’t imagine the humans benefited much from it... Oh!” She looked up, offered an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, my tongue slipped. It’s just that I used to be human myself, so I can’t help feeling a little sympathetic towards them.”

That felt too deliberate to be a slip of the tongue. The way Reimu described Zanmu, she was too careful, too skilled with her words to make such a faux pas. But in that case, what was her aim in saying that? A warning? For what?

... Well, no matter. Be it a hint at a building animosity or something else, for now, she would just take it to mean watching what she said about humans. Which was no issue; she wouldn’t dare belittle the species that gave her Reimu and Sakuya.

“No no, you’re right; I certainly didn’t take humans into consideration when I did that. Reimu, ah... She made sure I understood that very well.”

“With her usual method of incident-solving, I assume?” Zanmu’s smile softened a touch. One might have even called it sympathetic.

“Naturally. Trampled over my gatekeeper, my staff, my freeloader, even my head maid. All just to see me.” Another dreamy sigh from Remilia. “I just couldn’t help falling for that audacity. She may have left my pride a bit wounded and I might have nursed a slight grudge after the fact, but in the moment all I could think about was how beautiful she was. I’d never understood love at first sight before then, but...” She giggled, allowing the memories of her fast-blooming love to briefly wash over her.

“Fell hard and fast, hm? I can’t say I can relate, but I can say I understand what you mean. She leaves quite the first impression.”

Remilia could have gone on, but that would have meant going into her humiliating defeat at the hands of her beloved. She could try skimming over it, but something told her mentioning it in any capacity would result in Zanmu asking for details. Better to change topics now, shift the focus onto something else. Or rather, someone else.

“What about your first time meeting Reimu?”

“I met her on the job, same as you. Though in my case, you could say we were introduced through a mutual acquaintance.” Zanmu paused to chuckle. “It’s funny; she had no idea who I was, what my intentions were, or how I mattered in an incident that had yet to even occur. She simply came to stop me because someone told her to.”

That got another giggle out of Remilia. “That’s Reimu, alright. But then she stopped your plans for...whatever you were planning, without even knowing them?”

“Of course not. She only won because I held back.”

Something about the way Zanmu said that bothered Remilia. “Meaning you didn’t take her seriously? You could beat her otherwise?”

“I can. In fact, I have. She came back not long after our first encounter, this time with a far better understanding of the situation. A shame it didn’t give her an advantage, but she did win my favor, so I would say she’s the real victor in the long run.”

That bothered her even more. “Your favor?”

“Yes, my favor. She showed me Gensokyo is well enough off in her hands.”

Remilia frowned. “As opposed to whose? Yours?”

There was a split second’s pause before Zanmu answered, “Not necessarily.”

In other words, yes.

She continued, “Gensokyo was about to become the battleground for a territory dispute, you see, and I saw it best to nip that catastrophe in the bud. Keeping the would-have-been conquerors focused on each other was simple enough, but the real concern was ensuring Gensokyo would be kept safe from such a thing happening again.”

So that was it. Zanmu fancied herself the ideal candidate for Gensokyo’s guardian. Or, perhaps more accurately, its ruler. That went a long way in explaining the smugness underlying her every word. And Reimu got together with someone this arrogant? Willingly?

“You weren’t aware of the Hakurei shrine maiden?” Remilia asked, making a point of keeping her tone even and amicable.

“I was aware there was a shrine maiden, but I’d never met her before. And I must say, I’m very grateful I did.”

“Are you now.”

“Of course. Like I said, she made a very convincing case that Gensokyo is just fine under her care. And, as I would later realize, a very convincing case that it was worth my while to pursue her as a lover.”

“Really.” It was getting harder to maintain that tone. “And what case would that be?”

Zanmu’s smile softened. The obnoxious smugness it held before gave way to something gentler, more sentimental. “She reminded me of my old self."

Remilia opened her mouth to respond but said nothing. Words failed her. The building animosity all but vanished, forgotten in the face of this sudden change in demeanor.

... A demeanor that lasted all of three seconds before reverting right back to that annoying smugness. “And really, who could you trust more than someone who reminds you of yourself?”

Oh, that bait-and-switching little—

No, no, stay calm. Have some tea. If Zanmu threw her off kilter this early on, she would never claim victory. And as the morally superior (not to mention humbler) individual, this was one victory she absolutely had to claim.

“I find that interesting,” Remilia said. “You say the two of you are similar, but from my perspective, you seem as different as night and day.”

“And what are night and day if not two sides of the same coin?”

“Hm. Touché.” A thought occurred to Remilia, and she grinned. “Though I could very easily say the same of Reimu and myself. The nocturnal vampire and the diurnal human, predator and prey, two opposing creatures that shouldn’t be able to find love in each other, yet they do. A tale even longer-lived than I am, yet it never grows old.”

“Must be a dream come true to live out such a picturesque romance.” Zanmu went to take a sip of her own tea, but only got the cup halfway to her mouth before suddenly pausing. An awkward moment passed where she held completely still, as if posing for a painting. In fairness, she did make for a lovely painting, save for that odd look on her face. Her eyes were on Remilia, but somehow it didn’t feel like she was actually looking at her.

The moment finally, mercifully passed when she let out a breathy laugh. “Sorry, just distracted by an intrusive thought, is all.”

Remilia didn’t buy that. “What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing worth discussing. It’s, ah, not exactly an appropriate thing to say to someone you just met.” Zanmu took a long, drawn-out sip, averting her gaze in the exact manner one would when they very clearly want to talk about something but refuse to bring it up.

It was bait, and Remilia couldn’t help but take it. “You might as well say it anyway.”

“Very well,” Zanmu said with such false resignation. “I noticed you’re rather keen on getting hands-on with Reimu.”

“That’s perfectly natural, isn’t it? Don’t you ever feel the urge to hug her, kiss her, that sort of thing?”

“Of course I do. Just not to the same degree you do.”

Oh, the things that tone implied.

Remilia harumphed. “Are you suggesting there’s a problem with my getting ‘hands-on’?”

“Not in the slightest. I’m sorry for offending, it’s just, well...” Her gaze flickered to something somewhere behind Remilia. “I’m more hands-off with her.”

“Are you now.”

“Yes, I generally save that sort of thing for...” Another glance. She smirked. “...my other better half.”

“Other better ha- Okay, what in the world are you looking...at...”

Giving in to curiosity, Remilia followed Zanmu’s gaze behind her, and froze.

Just a short distance away, partially hidden behind one of the pillars supporting the veranda’s cover, was a woman. A very tall, very purple woman. She wore a purple dress with a curious grapevine design, purple opera gloves, purple boots, even a flower-like veil with purple petals. So very, very purple.

The woman smiled, waved at them.

Remilia turned back to Zanmu, whose smirk had grown ever wider. “I-Is, er... Is that, that woman, erm...”

“Hisami Yomotsu, my other better half.”

“I-I don’t... I didn’t see her with you.”

“She followed me. In secret, of course. She tends to do that, especially when I tell her not to.”

“Oh...” Remilia looked again at the woman, at Hisami.

Hisami smiled, waved again.

Nonplussed, Remilia could only wave back.

Should she be concerned about this? She felt like she should. Although Zanmu didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, so maybe it was okay.

Wait, no. It wasn’t okay. What sane individual stalks their own lover like this? Was Hisami the easily jealous type? She didn’t seem that way; the smile looked genuine enough, at least from this distance.

“You don’t need to worry.”

She jumped a bit, turned back to Zanmu. “I’m not worried,” she retorted a bit too defensively.

Though no laughter escaped Zanmu’s lips, she made no attempt to hide the laughter in her eyes. “Of course not.”

Arrogant jerk.

“Shouldn’t you be at least a little concerned she stalked you all the way here?”

“No, why would I be? Stalking is quite literally a part of her job description.”

“And that’s nothing to worry about?!”

... Is what Remilia might have said under different circumstances. But she didn’t. Saying that would mean she was losing her cool, which was absolutely not happening right now.

Instead, she asked, “Does that job extend to stalking her superior?”

“No, she just does that for fun. It did used to irritate me, but after I stopped trying to work against her whims and began...dancing with them, so to speak, I came to find it charming.”

“What part of that is charming?!”

... Is what Remilia might have almost said. Maybe. But she didn’t. Mostly because that would mean she had lost her cool (which definitely did not happen), but also...

While she would never admit it, she couldn’t help understanding and even relating somewhat to the sentiment. Her own lovers all had their little quirks and eccentricities she always came to adore. It took time to reach that point, but true love always did.

But still, stalking? Remilia could only imagine the reservoir of patience Zanmu must possess to tolerate a quirk like that, let alone be endeared to it.

With no immediate reply, Zanmu continued, “She says it’s because she never wants to ‘miss a second of my bold and awe-inspiring exploits’. I’m not sure what sort of awe or boldness she expects to get out of this little one-on-one, but then again, I don’t see the world the way she does.”

“I would bet most don’t,” Remilia said somewhat dryly.

That earned a laugh from Zanmu. “And you would win that bet. Even among my admirers, she stands out above the rest. Figuratively and literally.”

Remilia raised an eyebrow. “Admirers, hm? I take it you’re popular?”

“Or unpopular, depending on where you ask. Beloved, beloathed, respected, admired, feared, revered, loved, hated, and any other similar words. Whether it’s the current Hell or the old one, anyone you ask is guaranteed to have a strong opinion of me.”

Oh, brother...

“Then you must have no shortage of prospective lovers banging on your door.” It took conscious effort for Remilia to not roll her eyes.

Then Zanmu froze. It only lasted a moment, but in that moment, the atmosphere around her shifted. That pompous air dissipated, leaving something resembling humility in its place.

And just like last time, the moment passed before Remilia could even wrap her head around it. Zanmu put on that same damned smirk she’d been wearing all evening. Did this woman ever open up?

“Is that what you think? Well, I suppose it’s possible there may be a few out there who pine for me... Or the version of me they invented in their heads.”

“Not one for meeting your adoring fans? Aside from a certain stalker, that is?” Remilia cast a glance over her shoulder at Hisami. Still there, still not quite hiding.

“I prefer keeping my distance. Connections are fleeting more often than not, so I generally keep to myself.”

Meaning she only approached others if she needed something from them, no doubt.

Remilia frowned. Part of her wanted to call Zanmu out on that, but another part of her remembered a time Patchouli gave her an earful for basically doing the same thing. A literally three-day long earful. Granted, that was over a century ago and she had (sort of) gotten better about that sort of thing since, but better to stay humble in this instance.

“Hisami is a bit... Well, more than a bit different from the others,” Zanmu continued. “For one, she’s my direct subordinate. But even among all the others who have worked for me, none of them had ever been so infatuated.”

“Looks closer to obsession...”

“You’re not wrong. Before we became lovers, she would sometimes defy orders on a whim. Actually, she still does that.”

“Why?”

“I told you, on a whim.”

“But why does she have these whims?”

“To compel me to scold her.”

“Why would she want you to scold her? I mean no offense when I say this—” well, maybe a little “—but I can’t imagine that being a pleasant experience.”

“And everyone who has worked for me would agree with you... Except Hisami. I’d say she just relishes any kind of attention from me, but I swear she prefers my scolding over my praise.”

“They call that masochism.”

Wait, was it a good idea to bring up something like that?

... No, no it wasn’t.

Oh well, too late now.

Fortunately, Zanmu wasn’t perturbed. “I’m familiar with the concept, but...” She sighed, ran her fingers through her hair. “Being perfectly honest with you, I just can’t wrap my head around it. I don’t see the logic in deriving pleasure from such things.”

Remilia nodded in understanding. “All I know is it’s something you either have or don’t have.”

“Then clearly, neither of us have it.”

“Clearly.”

Silence fell. It was awkward and growing heavier by the second. The conversation couldn’t just die here, they had to move on to something. But how do you even move on from a topic like that? If only Reimu were here.

Wait. Maybe Reimu couldn’t save them from this, but someone else certainly could.

Remilia clapped her hands twice. “Sakuya.”

“Yes, mistress?”

And then coughing. Zanmu tried to downplay it, but it was plain to see she’d taken a sip of tea right as Remilia summoned Sakuya. An understandable reaction to someone seemingly pop into existence.

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry!” Sakuya vanished for a second, then reappeared by Zanmu’s side with a glass of water the next. How she expected that to help was anyone’s guess. “I didn’t mean to scare you!”

Zanmu set down the cup to take the glass with one hand, likely out of politeness, while still coughing into the other. The fit settled down after a bit. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

“Terribly sorry for the poor timing on my part. I didn’t notice you drinking...” Remilia laughed sheepishly.

Well, at least this fixed the awkward silence problem. Sure, it was replaced with a different awkwardness, but she could power through this. “Sakuya.”

Sakuya nodded and moved back to Remilia’s side, this time making a point not to use her powers. “Yes, my apologies. What did you need me for?”

“I just wanted to know if Meiling is doing alright.”

“She will be fine. I’ve done all the necessary care, so she should heal up before long.” Though Sakuya kept her neutral expression, there was no mistaking the relief in her tone.

Remilia smiled. “Glad to hear it. I assume you’ll be returning to her side?”

“With your permission.”

“Certainly. Oh, but before you do, why water?” She gestured at Zanmu, who was drinking said water, likely out of politeness.

“To dislodge the tea,” Sakuya said as if it were the most obvious thing.

Remilia searched her eyes for any hint of jest. She found none.

“R-Right, um, good thinking. You can return to Meiling’s side, if you’d like.”

“Thank you, Mistress, I’ll do just that.” Sakuya bowed. “Please excuse me.”

And with that, she vanished on the spot. Fortunately, she waited until after Zanmu finished her water before doing that, so no repeat coughing fits.

Remilia sighed, shook her head. “I really am sorry about that.”

The apology came easier, sounded more genuine than expected. Wasn’t she stewing over how insufferable she found the other woman just a few minutes ago?

Still, sneak attacks were beneath Remilia, so it only made sense to show a little remorse. Even— no, especially for an accidental one.

Zanmu shook her head. “Bygones. Though I must ask: How did she hear your summons? I can’t imagine she was anywhere close by.”

“She wasn’t. She just has good hearing when it comes to my orders. I could call her from clear across Gensokyo and she would still come in a heartbeat.”

“Impressive. I doubt Hisami could do the same.”

“Well, unlike your Hisami, Sakuya follows my orders to the letter. You couldn’t find anyone more obedient if you tried.”

“That’s not quite what I meant, but that’s not wrong either.” Zanmu chuckled, shook her head. “But to Hisami’s credit, she can follow orders when she wants to. It’s a sort of game we play, where I have to figure out how to get her to do what I want depending on her mood.”

“That sounds...challenging.” Not to mention frustrating. Remilia couldn’t imagine having to do that, nor did she want to.

“It is, but I’ve come to realize that’s part of the fun. As you said earlier, life is more enjoyable when not everything goes exactly to plan anyway.”

Remilia blinked, eyes widening a touch. Zanmu was clearly using her own words against her, but...

Or no, that wasn’t using her words against her, more like... With her? Echoing a sentiment she expressed earlier, obviously. But what was Zanmu’s intention in doing that? She didn’t detect any condescension or the like, so what—

“Remilia."

There wasn’t any forcefulness behind the way Zanmu said her it, yet it still had this subtle power, not to mention an allure. Her smooth, slightly deep voice could entice as easily as it could set on edge. Any who heard her would be guaranteed to listen, no questions asked.

“Forgive me for asking such an obvious question, but would you agree there’s an underlying tension between us?”

Remilia’s mouth opened, but no words came out.

How was she supposed to answer that question? Yes, there was, in fact, tension between them. Did that really need acknowledgement? What was pointing out the obvious supposed to accomplish?

“I’m surprised,” she said. “Reimu made you out to be the type to beat around the bush for everything, yet here you are cutting straight to the chase.”

Zanmu frowned. “You must have misunderstood her. The way in which I achieve my end goals could arguably be described as roundabout, but I’m quite upfront when it comes to interpersonal matters. At least when I’m talking to someone who clearly doesn’t like me.”

Remilia flinched at that. Was it that obvious?

“And yes, it was that obvious.”

Damn...

Remilia sighed in resignation. “If it’s obvious, then there’s no point in asking. And if I may hazard a guess, you don’t like me either.”

Zanmu smirked. It was a wry one this time, but that only made it marginally less irritating. “Was it tha—”

“Yes.”

Her smirk fell. “Ah. I see.” Then it returned. “Of course, I m—”

“Made it obvious with that one ‘accidental’ slip of the tongue, I know.”

Again, the smirk fell. She stared at Remilia a moment, silent and blank in expression, then sighed. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to try and guess what exactly you think of me.”

Remilia raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Just let me guess and you’ll understand.”

What happened to being upfront about interpersonal matters? Still, if this was how they had to air out their grievances with each other now before they caused an incident, then so be it. “Fine.”

Zanmu nodded. “I believe your impression of me is something along the lines of... ‘Zanmu Nippaku is an egotistical blowhard who believes everyone and everything to be beneath her. She has no interest in others, save for those who remind her of herself or amuse her enough to keep them around. How someone as unbearable as her came to win my darling Reimu’s favor is completely beyond me.’ ... Is that about right?”

“N—” Remilia fought back her urge to deny it. She looked away. “Not in so many words...”

But she had her pinned down dead center. And with too much pride to admit it out loud but too late to pretend otherwise, she could only stay silent. Which was the same as admitting it anyway.

“I suspect you’re already aware on some level,” Zanmu said, “but those thoughts somewhat echo my impression of you, Remilia.”

“Of me?”

Remilia tried to recall what she could have said or done to give the impression she was an egotistical blowhard. Was it her mansion? Her invitations? Her story about the time she covered Gensokyo in mist?

... It was all three, wasn’t it?

“... Never mind, I see your point.” She huffed, crossed her arms. “Now I’m starting to feel silly about this whole affair.”

Zanmu offered her an attempt at a sympathetic smile. It was a good attempt, to be fair. A bit too practiced, but at least it wasn’t another smirk. “You didn’t want to meet me just for your own sake, did you? You wouldn’t have invited Reimu otherwise.”

“Of course not. I was hoping to treat her to nice little double date of sorts.” Remilia looked down at the table. “I was also hoping to provide other refreshments, but those self-invites must have delayed Sakuya.”

“Couldn’t the other maids prepare them?”
“They’re fairy maids, so...”

“Ah.”

“But that aside, I wanted to see how you acted with Reimu around.”

“You might have seen more of my good side that way.” Zanmu chuckled.

Remilia couldn’t help but grin. “So you acknowledge you have a bad side?”

Another chuckle. “Well, Reimu did say I tend to posture when trying to win someone over.”

“She told you that?”

“Yes, on the way here. Apparently, I reminded her of you in that regard.”

“Me?”

Did Remilia ever posture when she first started courting Reimu? She couldn’t recall anything that—

Wait, no, she did: Her first proper date with Reimu. An extravagant event here in her mansion for just the two of them, though perhaps too extravagant. Too much food, definitely. Too much pampering as well, which was even worse because that only served to make Reimu uncomfortable after a while. At least they both learned what it meant to have too much of a good thing that day.

The memory made her blush. “W-Well, I mean...” She coughed into her fist. “I just wanted to show her how much I love her!”

“I believe you. It was the same for me, as I’m sure you can imagine.”

“I can certainly imagine you talking yourself up as a form of courtship.”

“And I you.”

“I’m choosing to ignore you said that. Really though, it’s just too much fun smothering her in affection.” Remilia flashed a grin with one of her fangs poking out. “Especially when she gets flustered.”

“Oh, she is adorable when she’s flustered. I find teasing the most effective in getting a rise out of her.”

“Hmm. I don’t really tease her much, although I do recall this one time...”

“Do tell.”

“Well, it had been a busy day for her, and the poor thing was just so tired and hungry, so I invited her over for a nice meal and...”

The tea grew cold but neither of them really noticed, too absorbed in sharing their mutual affection for Reimu. Though the concern of her darling having to watch over those two self-invites nagged at the back of Remilia’s mind, she wasn’t worried. Gensokyo’s best incident resolver could keep an eye on things, and as long as Flan didn’t play too roughly with her new friend, there would be little cleanup. So for now, she could just focus on Zanmu. Maybe they wouldn’t be the best of friends, but they could at least part on good enough terms after tonight. Both for their sakes, and Reimu’s.

The basement air was thick with danmaku. Bullets and lasers alike scattered about in a nigh inescapable mess with next to no breathing room to speak of. And in the thick of it all, five figures duked it out: One Saki Kurokoma and four Flandre Scarlets.

Reimu and Yuuma observed the action from as safe a distance as the mansion walls could provide. It wasn’t much, what with a few stray shots flying their way here and there, but with them on the ground and all the mayhem taking place in the air, they didn’t have much to worry about.

They watched as Saki zipped through the narrow gaps between projectiles and closed in on one of the Flandres, occasionally firing back with a laser from her finger or a small volley of her own bullets.
Anticipating a close-range attack, the Flandre readied her Laevateinn, wreathing it in flames and rearing back for a wide swing. Except, as Saki came within striking distance and twisted around to deliver a kick, her stance suddenly shifted to an overhead one and brought her weapon down.

... Only to be caught bare-handed. The flames burned on, but Saki showed no signs of pain. On the contrary, she flashed a grin at the stunned Flandre.

Too caught off-guard to react, she found herself yanked hard as Saki began spinning around and around. Flandre held tight and tried to fight back, but the momentum was too much for her to counteract. Worse still, each rotation brought them closer to one of the other Flandres, who tried to take evasive action, but acted too late. Saki flung the first Flandre into the second, then followed up with a kick to the middle. The two merged into one and went flying down to the ground.

She thudded on the floor and rolled to a stop right in front of her audience of two. A moment passed as she just lay there. Then, sucking a breath in through clenched teeth, she opened her eyes to see them looking down at her.

“Oh, hey Yuuma.”

“Hey Flan. Having fun?”

“Sure am!” With a nimbleness one wouldn’t expect of someone who just took a beating, Flandre hopped back up on her feet. “This Saki lady’s a lot better than I expected. I have to actually try with her!”

“Heh. Yeah, she’s no slouch in the muscle department. Got nothing on me, though.”

“Ehhh...”

“Come on, you know I’m tougher than her.”

“Well, you’re more durable, I guess...” Flandre turned to Reimu. “And what are you up to? Still kissing my sister?”

“Yeah.”

“Gross. Don’t tell me about that.”

“Then why did you even—”

A laser cut through both the air and their conversation, just barely missing Reimu’s head. “Hey, watch it!”

“Sorry!” Saki called back. “Meant that as a warning shot!”

“Don’t shoot at me when my back’s turned, you dick!” Flandre yelled.

“Don’t turn your back when I’m shooting!”

Aiming to take advantage of the brief distraction, one of the still airborne Flandres swung her weapon and unleashed a fiery wave that left trails of danmaku in its wake. Saki narrowly dodged the attack only to get hit in the face with another trail of danmaku fired off by the other Flandre.

The Flandre still on the ground turned to hurry back into the fray, only to stall a moment, then turn back and point at Yuuma. “Don’t you go anywhere. As soon as I’m done with her, you’re next.”

“No worries, I’ll be here. Just take your time and have fun.”

Flandre smiled, then leaped into the air and rushed towards Saki.

Yuuma chuckled, shook her head. She watched the fight in silence for a few moments, then turned to Reimu. “You didn’t have drag me down here, y’know. I’d have come with you willingly.”

“You’re still on about that?” Reimu sighed. “If you didn’t want that, why let me do it anyway?”

“Hey, I won’t say no to a free ride.”

“But you will complain about it?”

“Sure, if it sucks.”

Another sigh. “Look, I just don’t trust you, okay? Every time I’ve run into you, it’s because of some trouble or other. Trouble you cause.”

“It was just the two incidents, and they weren’t just my fault.”

“They weren’t just your fault.”

“Exactly.”

“So you were still partially to blame.”

“Exactly. I’ll take as much blame as I deserve, but no more than that.”

Reimu considered arguing against that but thought better of it. This evening had become a big enough headache just with Yuuma and Saki being here; pressing any issues that didn’t need pressing would just make things worse.

“I just wanted to have a nice time with my girlfriends,” she grumbled, turning back to the fight

“Girlfriends, eh? Like that charming lady from before?”

“You mean Remilia? Yeah.”

Yuuma let out a low whistle. “Planning to marry rich? Very nice.”

“M—” Reimu blushed and bristled. “Why would you think I’d do that?!”

“Why not? I would.”

“You... You are so...” Reimu heaved a sigh. “Where did you get the idea she’s rich, anyway?”

“Where do you think?” Yuuma gestured to the mansion around them. “Can’t afford a place like this on minimum wage.”

“Whatever. The point is I’m not that desperate for money, okay?”

“But you are desperate for it.”

“Shut up.”

“What? Nothing wrong with that. Money makes the world go round, I always say.”

“But that’s the first time I’ve heard you say that.”

“That’s just 'cause we barely know each other. You may not think highly of me now, but just gimme a chance and we’ll be best buds before you know it.” Yuuma flashed a grin, showing off her sharp teeth. Its genuineness was debatable.

Reimu gave her a look.

“Don’t give me that look.”

Reimu continued to give her that look.

With a sigh and a shrug of resignation, Yuuma turned back to the fight, expression impassive.

Reimu watched it as well. Seemed Saki managed to bring the Flandre count down from three to two while they weren’t looking. Impressive how a simpleton like her could hold her own against a group as well as she did. Considering her career, if it could be called that, she probably had experience fighting groups by herself.

“Come to think of it,” Yuuma said, “you said girl-friends, right? As in plural?”

Reimu spared a glance at her; still watching the fight, still not showing much on her face. “Yeah, why?”

“Zanmu one of ‘em?”

Something about the way Yuuma asked that bothered her. “Would it be a problem if I said yes?”

“Problem? Mmm, nah. ‘Concern’ would be the better word for it.”

Reimu frowned. “What’s it matter to you? Whoever I date is none of your business.”

“It just doesn’t make sense to me. I mean, you’ve seen the ego on her, right? How am I supposed to believe someone like that would ever date anyone?”

“You don’t know her like I do.”

“Obviously not. Look at it this way: A straightforward peacekeeper like you getting with some schemer like Zanmu? Anyone’d find that weird.”

She couldn’t exactly fault Yuuma for seeing it that way. Still, an assumption like that failed to look beyond the surface level. And if one thing mattered above all else when it came to Zanmu, it was looking beyond the surface level. Something Yuuma wasn’t doing, despite evidently assuming otherwise.

“Like I said, you don’t know her like I do.”

“Guess I don’t know you much, either. Why her?”

“She...” Reimu stopped to consider how best to answer. Something that made it clear to Yuuma why they clicked, that went beyond basic ideas like opposites attracting or just having something in common to bridge the gap made of their differences.

And after a moment, she had that answer. “Every time she visits, we talk about stuff. Sometimes it’s just the usual, like what we’ve been up to lately or whatever, but sometimes... It’s about other stuff. Stuff I don’t really talk about with others. Or even think about. And every time, it’s like I’m... like I’m finally noticing some part of myself I never did before. She’s always pushing me into it and that kind of annoys me in the moment, but I always come out of it feeling...better. Like it’s a relief to finally talk about it with someone. With her.”

“... Huh...” Yuuma nodded, more to herself than Reimu, looking thoughtful. “So, in other words, it’s like she puts you in front of a mirror and points out stuff you never pay attention to?”

“More like she is the mirror. I kinda tend to learn about her too in the process, and I guess she’s not just saying stuff when she says I remind her of herself.”

“That right...” Yuuma regarded her that suggested she was reconsidering her opinion of Reimu. Eventually she shrugged and said, “At least you’re more upfront than her. Makes you much easier to deal with.”

“Th-Thanks?”

“You’re welcome.”

Another lull in the conversation. Though the Flandre count had now dropped down to one, the fight above hadn’t lost any intensity, with her and Saki matching each other blow for blow. Both looked pretty beat up by this point, but neither showed any signs of fatigue. Whether it was because they had large amounts of stamina or they were just hopped up on adrenaline, Reimu couldn’t tell. Maybe it was both.

“Hey, what’s it like?”

“Huh?” Reimu turned to Yuuma, who still had that pensive look on her face.

“Someone making you just...spill your guts like that. Doesn’t it bother you?”

Grimacing at the colorful choice in words, Reimu shook her head. “No. We’re just learning more about each other. That’s how relationships work.”

“Oh really.”

She considered Yuuma’s expression again. Maybe it was her imagination, but she got the sense something was hiding behind that impassive front. “What, don’t you have someone like that?”

A brief silence, then Yuuma looked away. “Not really the sharing type.”

So, she had nobody? Granted, Yuuma did seem to be more of the lone wolf-type compared to the other Animal Realm youkai (ironic, being a sheep), but...

“But what about that one youkai? The one you recruited for the surface world takeover, uh... What was her name again? Cherry?”

“Chiyari.”

“Right, right, her. The chalupa-cobbler.”

“Chupacabra.”

“Isn’t that what I said?”

“No, you said chalupa-cobbler.”

“Oh...” Reimu made a face. “That sounds gross.”
“You’re the one who came up with it...”

“I mean, they’re pretty good on their own, but together? Eugh.”

“Surprised you even know what those are. Can’t imagine they’re easy to come by in Gensokyo.”

“O-Oh, well, um..."

She knew about chalupas and cobblers thanks to the outside world dinner dates Yukari occasionally took her on. They’d been to fancy places all over the world and tried all kinds of amazing things. Much as Reimu hated to admit it, that pain in the butt knew how to treat someone.

Although, while it probably wouldn’t necessarily jeopardize Gensokyo to share that little tidbit, letting one of its would-be conquerors know she knew someone who could take her to the outside world felt like a bad idea...

Thankfully, Yuuma didn’t care. “Meh, whatever.”

Reimu inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. Now to get back to the prior conversation. What were they talking about again? Something to do with... Oh, right!

“So anyway, what about Chiyari?”

“Huh? What about her?”

“Don’t you ever talk to her?”

Yuuma scowled. “Why do you care so much about my personal life?”

“I don’t.”

She exhaled loudly through her nostrils. “Then what’re you even asking for?”

A good question. Why did Reimu ask if she didn’t care? If Yuuma wanted to keep everything locked up inside and never share it with anyone, then fine, be that way. If she wanted to be how Reimu used to be before meeting Marisa and keep everyone at arm’s length—

Oh.

... Still, pushing this wouldn’t get anywhere. If there was anyone out there who could be Yuuma’s Marisa, it wasn’t Reimu.

So she shook her head and said, “Never mind.”

Yuuma looked at Reimu a good, long moment before shrugging it off.

This lull was easily the most awkward yet. No good place to restart the conversation, no desire to restart said conversation, no worthwhile commentary to be made about the fight, not even any snacks to use as an excuse to not talk.

At least Saki and Flandre were having fun.

Eventually, mercifully, Yuuma found the will to break the silence. “Sooo... Two girlfriends, huh?”

Reimu spared her a short glance. “More than two, actually. A lot more.”

Yuuma grunted with something that might have vaguely resembled approval. “How many?”

“Uh...” Reimu started counting on her fingers. Including Remilia and Zanmu, that came out to... Oh wow, she already ran out of fingers. “I kind of lost count after a while.”

“What, can’t count higher than ten?” Yuuma snickered.

“I can count plenty high,” Reimu retorted. “It’s just, I don’t have enough fingers to count them all.”

Yuuma’s smirk fell. “You’re messing with me.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are, you have to be.”

“No, I’m not.”

She blinked. Her brow rose, jaw slightly agape. “Well damn. Didn’t take you for a ladykiller.”

Blushing, Reimu rubbed the back of her head. “I-It’s not like that! Well, I guess it kind of is, but I’m not going around flirting with everyone! I just do what I always do and somehow people just...”

“Fall for you, huh? Guess that makes sense.”

“It does?”

“Yeah. You’ve got this natural charm, like even if you get on my bad side—not that you have, of course—I can’t bring myself to hate you.”

“That’s not the same as— Wait, you don’t? Even after I’ve tried to stop your plans twice?”

Yuuma chuckled. “There’s a few problems with what you just said, but I’d rather not waste our time on semantics. All I’ll say is you were just following the natural order of things, like me. Youkai cause problems, and the Hakurei shrine maiden puts a stop to ‘em. Business as usual. Nothing worth hating you for.”

Reimu was taken aback. This coming from the same Yuuma Toutetsu who clearly nursed a grudge against Zanmu for ruining her surface world takeover? “Well, sure, but... Can you really say you wouldn’t hold it against me if I did stop you?”

“See, now that’s a good point. And knowing me, I prob’ly would. But you didn’t, so I don’t. Simple.”

“Well, I do like simple...”

“Me too, so let’s keep it that way.”

Lull number...however many it’s been; Reimu hadn’t bothered counting. Saki and Flandre’s fight was still going. One would expect them to tire by this point, but nope. Still keeping at it with grins on their faces.

“Couple of battle-obsessed nutjobs,” Reimu muttered.

“No kidding,” Yuuma said. “I wouldn’t say I hate fighting, but it’s not my first plan of action. Too much hassle.”

“Not to mention exhausting. I’m always ready to just go home and sleep by the end of a big incident.” Reimu heaved a tired sigh, as if she had just resolved one of those very incidents.

Yuuma hummed in vague agreement, the pensive look from before returning. Reimu was about to ask her what’s wrong when she spoke up. “Y’know Reimu, there’s this little thought stuck in my head, and I don’t think I can get it out ‘til I share it with you.”

“O-Okay?”

A pregnant pause, then she said, “I can’t help but think you wouldn’t be a bad fit for the Gouyoku Alliance.”

Reimu didn’t answer. She couldn’t. Any attempt at formulating a coherent response failed two or three words in. After a point, she gave up and settled on just one: “What?”

“Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? But I genuinely believe that.”

“B-But, but that’s...” Reimu shook her head. “That’s impossible. You know there’s no way I’ll ever join your gang, right?”

“I do.”

“Then how can you even think that?”

Yuuma shrugged. “Just the impression I get.”

“Explain.”

“Alright, fine. But first, lemme ask you this: Would you say you’re the type to do everything yourself?”

Reimu thought it over. “I guess so,” she said after a moment. “I mean, I won’t turn down help, but I can always just take care of things by myself. It’s just easier that way; then I’ll know for sure it’s done right.”

Yuuma nodded, smiling a little. “Exactly. And I’m the same way, along with everyone else in the Gouyoku. Sure, we have a hierarchy and my subordinates have to answer to me at the end of the day, but other than that, you’re free to do your own thing. Free as a bird.”

“Ohh, so that’s why your group has eagle spirits?”

“That’s more of an eye-in-the-sky deal for intel, but your interpretation works too. The Gouyoku’s all about asserting your independence and taking what you want without having to worry about the rest of us staking claim to your hard-earned stuff. Unlike a certain Family or two...” Yuuma cast a glance in Saki’s direction.

That sounded nice, but...

“Is that really how it works? I seem to recall you being pretty greedy.”

“Can’t deny that. But I’m not stupid enough to delude myself into thinking I own my subordinates’ personal gains. They earned ‘em fair and square.”

“But what’s stopping you from just taking those gains from them?”

“Myself. I know you wouldn’t expect it, but I do have my principles, and I will stick to them no matter what. If I want something, I make sure to go through the proper channels.”

“Except for other people’s food, apparently.”

Yuuma gave a dismissive wave. “Their fault for leaving the pantry open with a hungry taotie around.”

“They didn’t even know you were— Oh, just forget it.” Reimu huffed. “I can’t believe a food thief is inviting me to join her gang..."

“I’m not inviting you.”

“Darn right you’re... Not?” She turned to Yuuma, brows knitted. “Then why were you saying all that stuff about me being a good fit?”

“I told you, it’s just a dumb little idea I got stuck in my head. We got something in common and I think that would make you a worthwhile recruit.” Yuuma regarded Reimu with an even stare. “But I’m not actually trying to recruit you. I know better than to assume you’d accept an invitation like that. And I don’t do invites anyway.”

“But what about—”

“Chiyari was an exception. I only approached her 'cause I needed someone close to Zanmu. If it weren’t for that, she’d have had to apply, just like everyone else. Nobody else’s ever gotten that exception, and nobody ever will.”

That... That had to be an exaggeration, right? How could anyone build one of the biggest organizations in the Animal Realm without taking the initiative and inviting others to join? Especially for one where you had to fend for yourself while still answering to a higher-up.

“Having a hard time wrapping your head around it? Heh, don’t blame ya. You’re self-employed, so you’ve never needed to worry about joining a group. Always doing things on your own, deciding what’s best for yourself with no one to tell you otherwise... Some folks are better off that way; not really cut out to be team players. But the Animal Realm doesn’t accommodate people like us. If you don’t belong to a group, everyone’s your enemy. So if you gotta belong to someone, might as well make it someone who respects your independence enough to let you have some.

“But if you’re wondering how I even started the Gouyoku in the first place, it’s not much of a story. Just some mutual backscratching that was too beneficial to give up and grew a bit out of hand. But hey, it put me in the running for top dog, so I can’t complain.” Yuuma chuckled darkly.

Okay, that worked. Cutting a deal that grew way out of control made more sense than somehow attracting followers without inviting anyone to join. Although...

“Why do you want to be the top dog?” Reimu asked.

Yuuma’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean ‘why’? That is why. There’s no point in anything if you’re not gunning for the top.”

No point in anything... Meaning everything you do has to be in service of becoming number one to amount to anything? But Reimu never tried to be number one, whatever that meant in her case. By Yuuma’s logic, that made all her work pointless.

Reimu shook her head. “That makes no sense.”

“Look, you don’t have to think about it so hard. Basically, I want what you have. Because you’re Gensokyo’s top dog. You’ve won.”

“H-Huh, won? What are you talking about?”

“Come on, you know exactly what I mean.”

She really didn’t, though. Yes, the Hakurei shrine maiden was vital to Gensokyo’s continued existence, so Reimu understood where the top dog part was coming from. But she won? Won what? It wasn’t exactly a prestigious position to be in, what with all the responsibilities. Not to mention the youkai shrine allegations, which only got harder to beat with every other new girlfriend...

Did Yuuma really want what Reimu had? Did Yuuma even know what Reimu had?

“Y’know what, forget it.”

Startled out of her thoughts, Reimu turned to find Yuuma looking at her with disappointment.

“It’s obvious we’re not on the same page here; let’s just drop it. Sorry for wasting your time.” Yuuma looked away, sighed. “And I take back what I said. You wouldn’t fit the Gouyoku Alliance at all.”

Reimu’s mouth hung open, too stunned from the whiplash of Yuuma’s sudden one-eighty to respond. Eventually she said, “Whatever,” and turned back to the fight. Still going, but at least those two nutjobs were finally slowing down.

But that aside, something still nagged at her. Yuuma said she realized Reimu would never join the Gouyoku Alliance, yet still thought she would be a good fit for it. Why? Just because they had a couple things in common?

It made sense why Yuuma would want Reimu to join. Another addition to the gang meant someone else to call upon, and having someone as significant as the Hakurei shrine maiden would give her a solid foothold on the surface. Which made it all the more important to not join, but that aside, it was the only reason Reimu could think of.

Well, the only reason that made sense. Another one did come to mind, but...

“Hey.”

Yuuma grunted, not taking her eyes off the fight.

Reimu took it as a sign she was at least listening. “Say you became the top of the Animal Realm or whatever. Do you think you’d get lonely up there?”

“Hnn?” Yuuma gave her a the-hell-kind-of-question-is-that look. “I’m a loner by nature, remember? Loners don’t get lonely. ‘Sides, I’ll still have my subordinates for whenever I need ‘em anyway.”

“But what about someone to talk to? Can your subordinates do that for you?”

Her expression grew weary. “Where are you going with this?”

“I just think everyone needs someone in their lives to just talk to and stuff. Even loners like us.”

“Can’t really call yourself a loner when you’ve got a million girlfriends, y’know.”

“I don’t have that many...”

“Still a lot more than the average person.”

“Okay fine, maybe I’m not a real loner, whatever. That’s not my point. All I’m saying is even I need someone to talk to sometimes.” Reimu fought the urge to sigh. This next part might start an argument, but it had to be said. “And I bet you do too.”

Yuuma’s expression grew wearier. “You sure you don’t care about my personal life? 'Cause you’re really coming off like you do.”

On impulse, Reimu nearly said no, only to reconsider. “I guess I can’t say I don’t,” she replied after some thought.

“Why?”

Some more thought. “The same reason you thought I’d fit in with your gang, I guess.”

An elongated silence, punctuated by a chuckle so soft Reimu almost didn’t hear it. “You’re a real piece of work, y’know that?”

Reimu smirked at that. “Most of my girlfriends have told me something similar.”

“Whoa now, you better not be implying what I think you are.” Between the grin and the warning tone, it was hard to tell if Yuuma took offense to however she interpreted that remark.

“That depends: What do you think I’m implying?”

“Heh. C’mon, it’s obvious you— Wait, huh?” Yuuma looked up. “Did it just get quieter?”

Now that she mentioned it, yes it did. No more sounds of firing off danmaku or people hitting each other. In fact, there was no noise at all, save for a pair of voices panting heavily.

Saki and Flandre now stood on the ground, the former with her hands on her knees while the latter used Laevateinn as a crutch. Both were worse for wear, and to a slightly concerning degree at that. From the looks of things, it was a draw.

“Okay,” Saki managed between breaths, “think I’ve got a pretty good idea of your power level now.”

Flandre let out a low chuckle. “So, you’re convinced then? You recognize me as the god of destruction that I am?”

Wiping some sweat off her brow, Saki gave a chuckle of her own. “Damn right I do. You’re 110% Keiga material!”

“Cool. When do I start?”

Uh-oh. If Flandre joined a gang under Reimu’s watch, Remilia would not be happy. Fearing a messy breakup as the best possible outcome of that scenario, she stepped forward and opened her mouth...

Only for Yuuma to stop her. “Don’t waste your time,” she said with a smirk.

“But they’re getting along!” Reimu hissed. “The only person who can destroy you is getting along with one of your arch enemies and you’re not worried about that?!”

“’Course not. Just watch, this’ll take care of itself.”

Biting her lip, Reimu glanced between Yuuma and the other two. “No, I really should...”

“Please, just trust me on this. You have nothing to worry about.”

One the one hand, Yuuma’s attempt at reassurance only made her more worried. On the other, considering she knew Saki the best of anyone here...

Her shoulders sagged. “Fine.” She stepped back. “But you better be right.”

Yuuma flashed that all too familiar toothy grin. “’Course I am. It’s just a matter of time before—”

“Whoa whoa whoa, back up!”

They turned to the other duo’s conversation. Flandre held a hand up. “I need to do what?”

Saki raised her own hands in a placating manner. “Okay, so you gotta cut through the Children’s Limbo, cross the Sanzu River, then head a ways into Higan ‘til—”

“Yeah, no. That’s way too big a commute. Can’t I just work from home?”

“From home? Uh...” She scratched the back of her head. “Well, it’s more of a field job, so I don’t expect you could do much from here. Suppose you could make a start on conquering the surface, but—”

“Not while I’m alive, Saki Kurokoma,” Reimu interjected, voice cold enough to lower the temperature in the room.

Saki grinned, laughed sheepishly. “Yeah, Reimu won’t let me. Plus I kinda promised her to hold off a bit on that.” She shook her head, regained her composure. “But anyways, since remote work’s out of the question and you can’t commute, we can just find you a nice place in the Animal Realm! I know this one complex that’s got the best condos in—”

“Condos?! You expect me to give up all this—” Flandre gestured widely at the mansion around them “—for some dinky-ass condo?!”

Yuuma leaned towards Reimu. “Does she even know what a condo is?”

“Doubt it.” Come to think of it, neither did she. “What is a condo?”

“Better than an apartment, way worse than a mansion.”

“That doesn’t explain anything...”

“Okay, okay, no condos!” Saki stammered. “Then, uh, uhhh... W-We’ll just find a mansion in the Animal Realm! Yeah, that’s it! We’ll force out whatever weakling’s hogging the best mansion in the realm and make it our own!”

“'Kay, cool. Let me know how that goes.” Flandre waved her off.

“Wha? Wait, no, you’re gonna come with, aren’t you? Don’t you wanna scope the place out?”

“Nah, not interested. It would take forever to get there, I wouldn’t get back until at least tomorrow and Remi’d be pissed if I disappeared like that.”

“B-But... But... Buh...”

As Saki’s protests descended further into incohesion, Flandre turned to the other two. “Hey Yuuma,” she called, “it’s your turn!”

“Sure you don’t wanna rest first? You’re looking pretty banged up from over here.” Yuuma laughed. “Not that I mind if you give yourself a handicap. I like easy prey.”

Flashing a grin, Flandre pointed Laevateinn at her. “There’s no handicap in the world big enough to let you beat me, Yuuma Toutetsu! Don’t forget, I’m the only one who can destroy you!”

Yuuma grinned back. “Except for whatever handicap let me beat you last time, right?”

“I let you have that one.”

“No you didn’t.”

They shared a laugh, an amicable one. Like their previous fights hadn’t stirred any bad blood between them and instead had the opposite effect.

Reimu could relate to that.

It reminded her of the old days, when it was just her and Marisa. What started as a little fighting somehow turned into friendship. Two loners finding an equal in each other.
Maybe Yuuma already had her Marisa after all.

Smiling to herself, Reimu passed the bantering duo and made her way over to a sulking Saki. “Tough luck, huh?”

Saki grunted. “Spent the whole damn day hunting her down, and for what? I just don’t get you surface world folk. Got all that strength, but you won’t do anything with it. Don’t any of you have any ambitions?”

“Um... I’m always trying to get more donations. Does that count?”

“What, you mean money? That ain’t ambition, that’s just a basic necessity.”

“Oh. I guess not then.”

It was hard to have ambitions when Reimu already had everything you could ever want. Except money, she always needed more money.

“Anyways,” she continued, “you’re taking things pretty well.”

“What else am I s’posed to do? Flandre’s strong. Real strong. Only fair I show my due respect. I’d love to have her in the Family, but she clearly doesn’t want in.” Saki shrugged. “Can’t do anything about that.”

“Well, I sure do appreciate that! Makes things a lot easier for me!” Reimu laughed.

Saki laughed too, despite herself. “Yeah, even if they’re not in the Family, I always gotta pay the strong my dues. It’s why I’m respecting your wishes to leave the surface world alone. ‘Til after you’re dead, anyway.”

“... Th-Thanks?”

“You’re welcome!” She beamed. “And hell, I’ll even show Toutetsu some respect once in a while. When she earns it.”

A thought occurred to Reimu. “Oh yeah, how did you hear about Flandre in the first place? I have a hard time believing Yuuma would willingly tell her arch enemy about one of her defeats.”

“We got to talking about it over drinks the other night.”

“... Are you sure you hate each other?”

“Hey, just because we’re enemies doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a nice brew after a brawl! Ain’t you the same way?”

Reimu wanted to argue, but then she remembered just about every friend (and girlfriend) she ever made had been an adversary at one point, so she kept her mouth shut.

Still, it begged the question on if they really were just enemies...

“’Course, it did end in a bar fight.”

Never mind.

“Welp!” Saki stretched and grunted. “Think it’s about time I got outta here. Long trek home ‘n all that. Nice seeing you, Reimu! If you ever change your mind about joining the Keiga Family, you know where to find me!”

Never going to happen, but Reimu chose not to say that. For as much of a troublemaker as Saki was, shooting her down right after Flandre did still felt like a bit much. So instead, she just put on a smile and waved as Saki headed off.

“Oh!” Saki stopped, turned on her heel. “And if you see Marisa, tell her I—”

She never got the chance to finish her message, as she suddenly fell over, her legs yanked out from under her. After taking a moment to get over the initial shock, Reimu noticed said legs were wrapped up in a pair of vines. And on the other end of them was, of course...

“Oh, hi Hisami.”

“Hello Reimu.” Hisami waved at her. “I’m sorry to cut things short, but Lady Zanmu said it’s time for them to go home now.”

Groaning, Saki propped herself up with an arm. “What the hell,” she grumbled. “I was just on my way out! What’d you do that for?!”

“I do apologize. I would let you leave on your own two feet, but it’s just more in the spirit of Hell to do it this way.” Hisami smiled. “And more fun.”

“Dammit all, can’t a pegasus leave this place with a little dignity?!”

“Guess not!” Yuuma cackled. “Lookin’ good down there, Saki!”

“Piss off, Toutetsu!”

“Oh, yes,” Hisami said, “you need to leave, too.”

Another pair of vines shot out and wrapped around Yuuma’s middle. Before she could so much as object, they yanked her off her feet and she hit the floor with an “Oof!”

“Hey, what’s the big idea, eggplant?!” Flandre whined. “I was gonna fight her next!”

“I’m sorry, dear, but she really does need to go home now. Lady Zanmu’s orders. Also, it would be more accurate to call me a grape.”

“Then why do you look like an eggplant?!”

Hisami just shrugged.

“She has a grape design on her dress, though,” Reimu mumbled. Then she shook her head; not important right now. “Look Flandre, Yuuma has to go. She wasn’t even invited in the first place.”

“But—”

“And she raided your pantry. Do you really want a food thief around?”

Flandre turned a questioning look to the still prone Yuuma. “Seriously?”

“Ugh...” Yuuma rolled over, sat up. “Yeah, I did.” She didn’t bother to look sorry about it.

“... Okay. I mean that’s pretty lame of you, but whatever, forget about that. Don’t you wanna fight me?”

“Meh, not really. It’s like I told Reimu, I just came to see Saki make an ass of herself.”

“Aww, you suck.”

“Tell you what: I’ll come visit some other time and we can fight then. Sound good?”

A moment passed where Flandre pouted, clearly not in the mood to compromise. But as she looked between the others, it became obvious to her none of them (except maybe Saki) wanted to sit around and watch another drawn out fight.

“Fiiine,” she finally said. “But you better come back soon.”

“Sure. Weekend after next work for you?”

Flandre looked ready to complain again. But instead, she just sighed and replied, “Sure, I guess I can wait that long.”

Yuuma grinned, turned to Hisami. “Alright, we’re all good here. Time to go. Now if you could just release me...”

“No,” Hisami replied with a smile. Turning to leave, she called over her shoulder, “Good-bye, Reimu! Always lovely to see you, dear! Oh, and do come visit us in Hell some time; it’s quite lovely this time of year.”

Did she have any idea how that sounded?

... No, probably not.

Having lost the mood to argue, Reimu only said, “I’ll think about it.”

Thankfully, that was enough for Hisami, and she headed off, the two matriarchs in tow. Yuuma griped about someone dragging her around for the second time tonight while Saki struggled in vain to tear the vines apart. It almost made Reimu feel sorry for them. Almost.

She and Flandre watched them until they disappeared out of sight. A moment passed, then Flandre said, “Guess I better go clean up.” She turned to Reimu. “And what about you? Gonna go kiss my sister?”

Reimu stayed silent.

“What?”

“You told me not to tell you about it.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess I did, huh?”

And then she walked off without another word, save for a brusque "See ya". Seemed she had used up all her social skills for the night.

Glancing around, Reimu was surprised to find the basement in much better condition than expected. Some scuffs from errant danmaku here and there, but other than that, one would never think a battle between a pair of overpowered wackos just took place. Must have taken some considerable self-control on their part.

“Okay!” she said to the empty room. “I guess it’s just me now! Nobody to keep an eye on or anything.” She sighed. “Sure hope my girlfriends aren’t trying to kill each other...”

As if on cue, the distant sound of chatter filtered in from the distance, growing closer by the second.

“... could almost swear nothing had ever happened.”

“Amazing! So they never found the body?”

“Neither hide nor hair of it. You would think there never was a body in the first place. Oh!”

It was no small relief to see Remilia and Zanmu chatting amicably as they entered the room. Even more relieving was that, evident by the lack of dirt or scratches on them, they were able to resolve whatever differences or arguments they had in a peaceful manner.

Reimu heaved the biggest sigh of the night. “Thank goodness...”

“Darling~” Remilia dashed forward, nearly tackling Reimu with a hug. “I missed you so much~” she cooed as she nestled her head under Reimu’s chin.

Giggling, Reimu hugged her back. “It hasn’t been that long.”

“It’s been too long.”

“You’ll have to forgive her,” Zanmu said while circling around the pair. “We got to talking about you and, well...” She hugged Reimu from behind. “The mood struck.”

Another giggle. “It must have if you’re joining in.” With one arm still around Remilia’s waist, she brought a hand up to cup Zanmu’s cheek. “So? Are you two the best of friends now?”

The other two exchanged looks.

“Well...” Remilia began.

“We decided this one meeting is enough,” Zanmu said. “Not that weren’t able to find a solid enough common ground, but we’re in agreement that any future meetings might turn...”

“Unpleasant.”

“And we didn’t want to trouble you. We know enough about each other to know we don’t want to know more, and would rather just gush about how much we love you.”

That brought a blush to Reimu’s face. “W-Well, whatever works, right?” She forced a sheepish laugh.

Then she sighed for about the millionth time that night. At least this was a happy sigh. Because seriously, how lucky could she get? A couple troublemakers from one of the worst otherworlds imaginable show up uninvited and screw up her date plans, only to be on their best behavior the whole time and leave with minimal resistance. Everything worked out so much better than expected. That never happened!

And as she expressed this to her lovers, they hugged her all the tighter.

“It’s only natural.” Zanmu petted Reimu on the head. “Your being around kept them from giving in to their baser urges, I’m sure. Though I'm sure my presence didn't hurt.”

Remila scoffed. “And I suppose my guiding fate to this point had nothing to do with it?”

“No, of course not. Your careful ‘manipulations of fate’ have just as much to do with this favorable outcome as I do.”

“Alright you two, behave,” Reimu chided.

Not that she really needed to. For their misgivings, she could trust them to keep a handle on things long enough to part ways without incident. The night ahead would put that to the test, but she had confidence they would pass.

Now then, what should they do after their little cuddle session...

Maybe dinner. Yeah, that sounded good.