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It was a cold and stormy night, the night it happened; one of the first nights of proper rain they’d had all season. It was as though the sky had been saving up especially so it could put on a good show: rain poured and poured, thunder cracked and roared, and Courtney, sat in her finest gown, gazing across the banquet hall, was trying her utmost hardest to not be bored. It was the third night that week they’d had such an esteemed guest over — another knight, tonight, this one tall and blonde and full of good humour (too much good humour) — and Courtney was growing rather tired of having the same idle conversations over and over again. Each night was the same: the knight or prince or lord of a politically-aligned kingdom made an effort to appeal to Courtney’s mother’s high standards with tales of their bravery and courage and resourcefulness, and then they dined and drank until they decided it was time to carry themselves off to their quarters, where the test awaited them. Then they would come downstairs in the morning, bright and buoyant as ever, and Courtney’s mother would say, pompous as ever, “And how did you sleep, sire?” and they would reply, cheerful as ever, “Why, very well, thank you.” And thus the test was failed, and they would be made to return to their kingdoms, and Courtney’s mother would sigh in disappointment and Courtney herself would shrug her shoulders, indifferent to the many men who wandered through her home each week, each as forgettable as the last.
“Is everything fine, my lady?” asked Beth, Courtney’s handmaiden. Courtney believed Beth to be rather a dull character, and lacking in enterprising spirit, but then again, Courtney thought that about most people. “Is the food not up to standard? I can always take your complaints to the chef if it is not.”
Courtney sighed, and drank deeply from her goblet of wine before speaking. “Oh, Beth,” she said. “The food is fine, as always. But I am afraid—” she paused, hesitated. There was always a risk in freely speaking her mind, as the Crown Princess of her kingdom. But it was also true that Beth’s loyalties lay with Courtney, as her mistress, and surely she would be at least somewhat sympathetic to her plight, being present at every one of these banquets herself. Lowering her voice, Courtney said, “—I am afraid that it is our company that has put me in a sour mood.”
“Oh, I don’t blame you,” Beth muttered, casting an unamused glance towards the guest of honour. Then she clapped her hands over her mouth, looking shocked at herself. “Oh, my! You must forget I ever said that.”
Courtney’s mouth curled upwards in amusement, and something like intrigue arose in her. “I didn’t know you were capable of showing such disdain towards anyone, Beth.”
Beth’s expression was both apologetic and fretful. “I promise, my lady, I do not mean to insult your guest.”
“There’s no need to be so apologetic,” Courtney huffed. “Was I not just saying myself that I am not pleased with his company?”
Beth hesitated a second before speaking again. “But— you are allowed to say such things. Whereas someone of my low standing… well, if I was overheard saying such a thing, it could only be viewed as disrespect.”
Courtney frowned at this. “Do you truly believe that I take no risk in speaking my mind? That I can say whatever I wish, without consequence?”
“No, my lady,” Beth said, her cheeks darkening. “Of course not. Only that— well, you will not be accused of treason or threatened with execution for saying the wrong thing in front of the wrong person, as I would.” She bit her lip. “I apologise, my lady. I do not mean to sound ungrateful.”
Courtney’s intrigue deepened. Perhaps Beth was not as dull as she thought her to be. And by any measure, she was certainly more interesting than the gloating knight sitting a few seats away from them. The urge to run out of the banquet entirely arose in Courtney, and the more she thought about it, the more it felt like a brilliant idea. “Beth,” she said, slowly. “I think we should escape this banquet early.”
Beth opened and shut her mouth, then glanced around the room. “My lady?”
“I would like to leave, and I would like you to come with me. Think of an excuse.”
“Oh, erm…” Beth reached for the jug of wine. She gave Courtney an apprehensive look, then, slowly tipped the jug towards Courtney’s goblet, which was being held precariously over Courtney’s skirts. Nothing spilled out, the jug was far too empty for that, but Courtney caught on quickly enough and raised her arms suddenly, shrieking.
“Idiot!” she gasped, pointing at Beth. The room fell silent and stared up at both of them. “You spilt wine all over my gown!” Courtney yelled. Beth stammered some sort of apology. Courtney glared at her. “I demand you help me change into something new at once. If you think you can even manage that.” Then she turned and fled from the room, Beth hot on her trail.
As soon as they were out of the room, they collapsed against the wall in giggles.
“That was brilliant,” Beth said breathlessly. “You were brilliant.”
“Hopefully nobody noticed that there wasn’t actually a single drop of wine on my gown,” Courtney mused, staring down at the spotless garment of clothing.
“Forget that. Let’s hope they don’t notice when we don’t return to the banquet at all,” Beth added.
They both looked at each other, filled with a mischievous sort of delight. The night suddenly felt like a door that had been flung open to a whole new world of opportunity. Courtney could do anything, be anywhere.
“Come on,” she said, and tugged at Beth’s hand before turning on her heel and running up the nearest flight of stairs.
“Where are you taking me?” Beth asked.
“To our guest’s room,” Courtney said. “You must see it.”
Beth gave her a confused look, but allowed herself to be led up another flight of stairs and towards one of the larger rooms in the castle, with windows that faced out towards the rather spectacular grounds. Beth’s duties as Courtney’s personal maidservant meant she didn’t have any need to frequent this part of the castle; and Courtney wasn’t sure she’d ever actually seen the bizarre state of these particular guest quarters.
They paused in the doorway of the guest room, taking in the sight of the many, many mattresses piled upon each other in the place where a double-poster bed frame would typically be.
Beth frowned. “My lady, why are there so many mattresses?”
Courtney sighed. “It’s part of the challenge my suitors must face. They have to find the problem within the room.” She tried to not sound too bitter. “None of them ever do.”
“I see,” Beth said. She gave Courtney a sideways glance. “Why are you showing me this, my lady?”
“I just… I needed to show someone else how ridiculous this whole thing is,” Courtney said. “My mother refuses to allow my hand in marriage to any man until he proves himself worthy. And this—” she gestured to the room. “—Is how he shall do it. Not through winning a battle or even a tournament, not by owning large amounts of land. But simply by finding the problem within this room.”
Beth began to giggle again. “I suppose it is quite unconventional.”
“And pointless,” Courtney huffed. “Because they never, ever find the problem.”
Beth gave the room a considerate look. “Perhaps…”
Courtney raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps what?”
Beth hesitated. “Permission to speak freely, my lady?”
“I grant you permission to say what you like.”
“Perhaps there is no problem within the room. Perhaps… your mother is simply trying to prevent you from marrying at all.”
Courtney narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Only that she is trying to protect you and the kingdom, my lady!” Beth said hurriedly. “I do not mean to imply that your mother wants anything but the best for you.”
Courtney considered this. She had never really thought about that before. Her mother was a rather picky woman, and not one to give up her only daughter to just anyone. “Perhaps this is true,” Courtney said graciously, not wanting to outright disagree with Beth. “But I do believe my mother is above simple trickery. I think that there is certainly a problem within this room— just not one they will ever find.”
Beth smiled. “Is the problem simply that there are too many mattresses, my lady?”
Courtney laughed. “I don’t believe so. If anything, I think the many mattresses are a welcome peculiarity. Our guests may be noblemen, but I doubt they will ever sleep somewhere as comfortable as our guest quarters again.” Beth hummed thoughtfully. Courtney cocked her head, looking at her. A sudden thought occurred to her. “What if you tried to figure it out?”
“What?” Beth looked up at Courtney. “How?”
“You should sleep here.”
Beth looked positively alarmed. “I couldn’t, my lady. I am a mere servant, I do not have any right to these rooms.”
“With my permission you do,” Courtney said, firmly.
“What about your guest?” Beth said, hands on her hips. “Where shall Lord Geoffry sleep tonight?”
“Not tonight,” Courtney said. “Tomorrow. We have no visiting guests tomorrow night. These rooms will be free. I will ensure you get these rooms for the night, Beth. And you shall try and figure out what the problem is.”
Beth frowned. “My lady— I just wish to know, why? Why do you want me for this task?”
“My mother refuses to tell me what the problem is,” Courtney scowls. “She is afraid I will fall in love with someone and give away the secret so they may pass the challenge and win my hand. But you seem shrewd, Beth… if you were to find out for me…”
Beth looked uncertain. “What if your mother found out? I would be hanged for— for going behind her back!”
“I won’t let that happen to you,” Courtney said, with a sudden, unfamiliar fierceness. “I won’t.”
Beth gave her a steely look. “Promise me. Promise me, my lady, you will ensure I am safe— and I shall do it.”
“I promise,” Courtney said, grasping Beth’s hand with a sincere look. “I won’t let you get hurt.”
**
Of course, that night would not have been suitable — the room would be occupied by Sir Geoffy. But before long the night passed, and Sir Geoffry woke and ate breakfast with Courtney and Her Royal Highness, as was typical of their noble guests.
“And how did you sleep, sire?” the Queen asked him, over her plate of fruit and bread.
“Wonderfully, Your Majesty!” Sir Geoffry said cheerfully. A small fleck of egg had managed to attach itself to his chin, and little bits of food sprayed out of his mouth every time he spoke. It was disgusting. Courtney looked heavenwards, struggling to keep her breakfast down. She’d never seen a knight with such appalling manners.
“Is that so?” the Queen said, looking disappointed.
“I must say, the many mattresses were unusual, but comfortable indeed! I am grateful for your hospitality.” He grinned at Courtney, and then, to her horror, winked at her.
“Hm,” was all the Queen said in response to that. Sir Geoffry continued to chatter inanely, utterly oblivious to the Queen’s unhappiness and Courtney’s disgust.
Beth leaned in to refill Courtney’s goblet with cherry juice. “You can’t fault him for finding the mattresses comfortable, my lady,” Beth whispered in Courtney’s ear. “I have to say I am looking forward to sleeping there myself.”
Courtney smiled. “I have an idea on how we shall manage it. Just wait and see.”
They finished dining. Courtney took a brisk and very dull walk around the grounds with Sir Geoffry, then led him to his horse in the entrance courtyard, which his manservant was preparing for a hunt, where Sir Geoffry would attempt to kill a boar down for their supper — traditionally, it was proof that he could provide for the Royal Court if necessary. It was a pure formality, as boars hadn’t been spotted in the area for decades. But it didn’t matter if he actually found a boar or not — he had already failed the Queen’s test. It wouldn’t have made a difference if he killed even a unicorn — no matter what, by nightfall, he would be informed that he was an unsuitable match for the Crown Princess, and would have to leave the kingdom, head hung low.
Sir Geoffry turned to Courtney before climbing onto his horse. “Perhaps, on my hunting trip, I shall collect you some flowers. Something pretty for a pretty lady, hm?”
“How sweet,” Courtney said, giving him a forced smile. “I’ll see you later, sire. Enjoy your hunting trip.”
Then she turned and ran up the castle steps as quickly as possible, eager to get away. She had things to do.
**
Courtney found her mother in the library, reading for leisure. It was a favourite pastime of both hers and her daughter, alongside archery, riding, the lyre, the flute, and painting. Courtney was possibly one of the most well-rounded and educated women in the country — her mother firmly believed being proficient in academics, sports and the arts were an important measure of being fit enough to run a kingdom.
“Mother,” she greeted, with a perfunctory curtsey, “I’ve been thinking about something.”
The Queen looked up from the large, dusty tome she was reading, brows furrowed. “Yes, my dear?”
Courtney took a deep breath. “It’s about the test. You know, the one to win my hand in marriage.”
The Queen sighed, and closed her book shut. She gazed up at Courtney for a long moment, as though drinking her in. “I knew this day would one day come.”
“You… did?” Courtney asked, mystified.
The Queen nodded. “Oh, yes, my darling. Granted, you have been patient— it has come far later than I expected. But here we are.”
Courtney frowned. “Mother, you do not know what I am going to say.”
“Oh, Courtney, I know it may be difficult to believe, but I was young once too,” the Queen said, smiling ruefully. “I understand— you have come to tell me you are in love with Sir Geoffry, and that you do not care about the test, because he is the one for you. And I shall have to be the one to break your heart and tell you— he cannot be the one you marry.”
Courtney’s mouth opened and shut a few times, in shock. She took a moment— then she drew herself together and shook her head. “No! Oh, goodness, no. I am not in love with Sir Geoffry.”
The Queen frowned. “You are not?”
“He has appalling manners!” Courtney said, unable to contain herself. “And he is— loud. And immature! I am glad he failed the test!” She took a deep breath. “But— I must say, I am beginning to wonder if anyone is capable of passing the test, whatever it actually is.”
The Queen scoffed at that. “Of course someone will be capable of passing the test. And when they do, I shall know they are worthy of my daughter. It is not just any test, Courtney— it is a test that ensures they will not only notice even the smallest flaw in the bigger picture of things, but they will also speak their mind when it is prudent to do so.” The Queen gave Courtney an imperious look. “Being observant, shrewd and forthright are qualities I so admire in you, my darling. I believe it is only right that someone you marry shares those same traits.”
Courtney softened a little at her mother’s kind words, but she had set out with a plan, and she would not give up until her plan was complete. “But mother— these noblemen, they are all trying so hard to impress you. What if… what if they are merely too afraid to speak their minds in front of you? Perhaps we should… give the test as an assignment to a servant, just to ensure that it works as intended? We shall tell them they must test that the room is fit for someone of noble standing — so if they fail to find anything wrong, we shall know they are telling the truth. And we shall know from now on if these noblemen truly are failing the test, or if there is the possibility they are just lying.”
The Queen appeared to consider this for a moment. “But if they figure it out, they could tell you what the answer to the test is.”
Courtney huffed. “Goodness, mother, would that really be so tragic? I am not going to fall in love with any of the noblemen after knowing them for a day— and even if I did, when would I get the chance to tell them about the test before they do it? I don’t ever get a moment alone with them until the day after.”
“Oh, very well then,” the Queen said, with a long-suffering sigh. “We shall try your idea, with three servants with different jobs, and see if any of them succeed in figuring out the test. Perhaps a stablehand, a maidservant, and someone from the kitchens?”
“I shall find three suitable for the job,” Courtney said, beaming. “And thank you, Mother, for being so open to my suggestion.”
“Of course, my dear,” the Queen said, a smile beginning to blossom on her face. “Don’t forget, you shall be in my position one day— it is good practice to test your theories and challenge other’s ideas.”
***
And so, Courtney gathered three servants — a stablehand named Noah, a scullery maid named Bridgette, and of course, Beth. She briefly informed them of the task they were to complete — to sleep in the room and see if it was fit for someone of noble standing.
Bridgette was the first. The morning after she was set to do the assignment, Courtney woke with some trepidation. For some odd reason, she hoped Bridgette had failed — some small part of her wanted Beth to be the one to prove herself capable of passing the test when all those noblemen had not. The look on her mother’s face would be enough — all those knights, unworthy of her daughter, but a mere maidservant…
The thought of Beth winning her hand in marriage sent a current of warmth right through Courtney’s centre, and for a brief second, she wished with all her might that it could be true. But that was ridiculous — Beth was a maidservant, and a woman nonetheless, and a Crown Princess marrying anyone but a nobleman… well, it just wasn’t done. There was no point in imagining otherwise, Courtney told herself firmly, even as ideas of sneaking around the castle at night with her maidservant and finding some secret hidden corner to while away the time together passed through her mind.
Bridgette failed the test, which did nothing to put Courtney’s sudden overwhelming thoughts about Beth at ease. Bridgette was as bright and chirpy as ever, and said over breakfast that the room was “just fine, thank you very much, I had a wonderful stay.”
On the second morning, Noah talked at length about how the mattresses were far softer than his own meagre one at home, and how gracious and hospitable they were for allowing him to stay the night. “I haven’t slept so well in a long time,” he said, enthused. “And I sleep a lot. My mother thinks I must be the laziest boy in the world, the amount I sleep.”
Courtney grew worried that her tactic of using servants might not have been the best idea. She shared this concern with her mother. “I forgot that servants do not typically sleep in quarters as fine as our guest ones,” she said. “They probably can’t detect the problem in there any better than I could!”
“Now, that’s an idea,” Courtney’s mother said thoughtfully. “Perhaps you should test it tonight,.”
“Oh, I couldn’t be so cruel to my maidservant,” Courtney protested quickly. “To take away the promise of such a comfortable bed at such short notice? No, mother… I could not do that.”
For some reason that night, despite having the comfort of her own bed, tucked under her lovely duck-down duvet and surrounded by soft furs, Courtney could not get an ounce of sleep. She tossed and turned all night, restless and driven mad with discomfort — something just did not feel right. She managed to squeeze in what felt like only a few minutes of rest close to dawn, before giving up and heading downstairs for an early breakfast. To her surprise, her mother was already in the dining hall, looking regal as ever at the head of the table.
“Mother,” Courtney greeted, then yawned loudly. “Oh— pardon me—” she yawned again. “I’m just— so—”
“Did you sleep poorly?” her mother asked, clucking her tongue sympathetically.
Courtney nodded. “I don’t know why. I just couldn’t get comfortable. Something about my bed just felt wrong.”
Her mother held out a pea. Courtney blinked a few times, wondering if she was dreaming or if she’d just gone mad. She pinched herself to make sure, then winced in pain. No, she wasn’t dreaming. Her mother really was holding a pea out in front of her, looking smug. Perhaps she was the one who’d gone mad.
“You passed the test, Courtney. I slipped this under your mattress. The fact that you noticed something wrong with your bed, even something this small, is proof you are worthy of… well, yourself, I suppose.”
Courtney was speechless. It was too early for this. She slumped down in her seat and rubbed at her eyes a few times. “Mother. Are you telling me the reason I still don’t have a husband is because nobody has noticed a pea under a mountain of mattresses?”
“Quite,” the Queen said, grinning as she took a sip from her goblet. “But you noticed! So it is clearly not an impossible test.”
“But that was under one mattress! They sleep on about twenty. Nobody would notice a pea under that!”
“The right person for you will,” the Queen said firmly, then turned her attention to the cured meats on her plate, clearly done with this conversation. Courtney sighed and reached for a bunch of grapes, deciding she might as well have some breakfast before going upstairs to get rid of the pea under her bed and catch up on her sleep.
But then, the door to the dining room opened, and in stumbled Beth, looking worse than Courtney had ever seen her. Her hair was a mess, and she had very dark circles under her eyes — in fact, she probably looked about as awful as Courtney right now, and that was truly saying something, considering Courtney had lain awake most of the night.
“I do apologise, my lady,” Beth said, yawning. “I did not mean—” she yawned again. “To be late to serve you.”
“The test,” Courtney’s exhausted brain suddenly recalled. “How did you sleep?”
Beth muttered something, then yawned again. “Terribly. I don’t know why— I’ve never slept on a softer bed before in my life! But something just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t get comfortable no matter which way I turned.”
There was a pregnant pause. Then the Queen said, “Oh, my goodness.”
Courtney was speechless once again.
Beth frowned. “I am sorry. I didn't mean to offend—”
“You have not offended me,” Courtney said, finally figuring out how to make her mouth work. “Just— surprised me, that’s all.”
The Queen promptly fainted.
**
A few manservants lifted the queen up to her room while Beth ran to alert the court physician. Courtney, too tired to really summon up a response to the morning’s events, stumbled her way up to her room, rummaged around under her mattress to find the God forsaken pea, and crawled back into bed. It was many hours later that she woke, judging by the late afternoon sun sifting through her windows, and noticed Beth sleeping upright in a chair beside her bed. Courtney allowed herself a few moments to just drink her in — her soft brown curls, the round slope of her cheeks, the adorable little mole on one side of her mouth. Then gently, Courtney reached across her bedsheets and shook her awake.
Beth woke slowly, blinking sleepily a few times before taking in her surroundings. “My lady!” she said, noticing Courtney suddenly. “I apologise, I did not mean to fall asleep—”
“It’s okay,” Courtney said, reassuring. “I know that you were just as tired as I was. Erm, Beth— is my mother—?”
“She regained consciousness only a few minutes after fainting,” Beth said quickly. “The court physician says she should be fine. She just had a faint shock.”
Courtney sighed and leant back against her headboard, closing her eyes. “Well, to be fair, she probably didn’t expect a maidservant to pass her ridiculous test when all those noblemen failed.”
Beth frowned. “The… test? I passed?”
“Yes,” Courtney said, opening her eyes again and fixing Beth with a solid stare. “Beth— the test was to find it difficult to fall asleep, because of a single pea under all those mattresses.”
“A pea?” Beth said, looking bewildered. “Really? That’s what kept me up all night?”
Courtney sighed. “Yes. Me as well. My mother decided to test the test on me, and… well, I supposed I am worthy of my own hand in marriage, now.” Courtney raised an eyebrow. “You realise, Beth, this means you are one of only two to have ever passed the test. How do you feel, being worthy of a princess?”
Beth’s cheeks turned pink. “Don’t be silly. I’m a maidservant.”
Courtney sat up cross-legged, and looked at Beth, perched on the edge of the chair. Really looked at her. There was a sweetness in her features that Courtney hardly ever saw — a real kindness. And Beth was shrewd, and observant, and forthright — all of the qualities Courtney so admired.
And there was the small matter of Courtney liking her. Liking her far more than she had ever liked any nobleman who had walked through these halls. What could she possibly say? She attempted to summon up the courage to say something— anything— to explain how she felt to her. But the words simply didn’t come. Beth was right — she was just a maidservant, and there was nothing short of a miracle that Courtney could say or do to change that. Courtney looked away from her.
There came a knock at the door. “Enter,” Courtney called out. Another servant entered the room.
“My lady,” he bowed. “Her Royal Highness wishes to see you in her quarters.”
Courtney rose to her feet. “Thank you. I shall go now.”
The Queen was sitting in bed when Courtney entered, her back against the headboard, gazing off at something in the distance. She readjusted herself when she saw Courtney, and gave her an inquiring look.
“Have you caught up on rest, my dear?”
“Yes, mother,” Courtney said, curtseying, then sat on a chair beside the bed, stomach thriving with sudden nerves. The Queen watched her silently.
“I have been doing some thinking,” she said, slowly. “About… your marriage. And rethinking the way I’ve… set out on finding you a husband.”
Courtney tilted her head. “Mother?”
“I believe… I believe I should bury the idea that I am going to find a nobleman who is right for you, Courtney,” her mother said, softly.
Courtney stared at her. “Mother… I am sure we could find someone to pass the test.”
The Queen fixed Courtney with an even gaze. “And if they did— if a nobleman came to visit us tonight, and passed the test, winning your hand in marriage— would he win your affections?” Courtney stared at her for a long moment, and then shook her head. The Queen sighed. “And would I be correct in assuming— your affections have already been won by someone else?”
There was a long, still pause. Then Courtney slowly tipped her head forward in affirmation. “Yes, mother.” Her face felt rather hot. “I’m sorry.”
Her mother reached across the bed and held Courtney’s hand. “My darling,” she said. “You do not need to apologise. I only ever wanted someone who was right for you— and it seems we have found someone. The serving girl, what is her name?”
“Beth,” Courtney said softly.
“Beth,” the Queen repeated. “It is a nice name, is it not?”
“Very nice,” Courtney said. She felt rather confused, and overwhelmed. “Mother— what is going to happen? You know you cannot allow me to marry a serving girl.”
“Of course not,” the Queen said, but a thoughtful look was appearing on her face. “Though it is not uncommon to arrange marriages… of convenience.” She pulled her hand away from Courtney’s. “Go, darling.”
“Go?”
The Queen smiled. “I will work out the finer details, Courtney. In the meantime, I believe you have something important to do.”
The meaning of those words washed over Courtney. She stood up and pushed her chair back. Perhaps the miracle she’d wished for really had come true. “I will speak with you later!” she said hurriedly, and rushed out of the room.
She found Beth still in her quarters, folding some laundry. Before Beth could even look up, Courtney glided across the room and grabbed her by the shoulders. “Beth,” she said, breathless. “I know it seems impossible— I know you are a maidservant, and I am the Crown Princess. But I must tell you, I have feelings for you— and you are the only person who has ever caught my attention in this way, and you are the only person who has ever proved themselves worthy of my affections. If you do not feel the same, you must tell me now, but I cannot continue to pretend—”
Beth stood up on her tiptoes and kissed her, cutting her off. They kissed for a long moment. When they broke apart, Beth was smiling. “My lady,” she said.
Courtney almost melted right then and there. “I do believe that you are now my lady,” she whispered, and then kissed her again, for good measure.