Work Text:
Reki was running late. He had slept in and got woken up by repeated phone calls from Langa. When he answered his ringing phone at last and got the news that it was in fact 10 minutes before classes start, he told Langa to go ahead and jumped out of bed to get ready.
When he finally made it to school after riding his skateboard at a dangerously fast speed, he stepped out of his shoes and changed them for his school slippers. He set of running towards the nearest staircase and was about to step onto the second floor, when he heard the mentions of Langa's name coming from down the hall. He slowed his pace and stayed hidden in the stairwell to listen in, curiosity taking over.
"-so dreamy!" The first voice sounded.
"Yeah, he is really pretty." The second one agreed, trailing into a small giggle.
"Who's that girl that's always hanging out with him though? A girlfriend?" Reki went through his mental catalogue of girls Langa hangs out with and came short. Who was this girl she was talking about?
"What girl?" The second voice asked Reki's silent question for him and he was eager to find out the answer.
"The redhead? You know, short hair, wears a bandana?" Oh.
"What, Reki? No, that's a guy. You literally have art class with him, how do you not know that?"
"Well, I've never actually talked to her! Just thought she was a tomboy or something." Reki was frozen in place as the voices got louder, seemingly approaching his location.
"He."
"Right. He. Whatever. Back to Langa! That means I have nothing to worry about though, right? I can ask him out?" No.
"I don't know about that... I've heard some rumours the two are dating. Apparently someone saw them downtown holding hands and stuff." Crap.
The first girl made a sound of disappointment, sounding way too close, which finally broke Reki out of the trance. He ran back down to the first floor and crossed to the other side of the school to take a different staircase.
His mind was still processing the conversation he overheard and as his side started to burn from running too fast he let his body fall to the ground and propped his back against the wall. His heart ached with anxiety that people know about him and Langa, that he's going to cause even more problems for him than the prejudices that come from just associating with him do. His stomach was being wrung with sickness from being mistaken for a girl and for a second he thought he might throw up.
He took a few steading breaths and checked his watch. Suddenly he was another ten minutes late than originally.
He gripped the stairwell railing and pulled himself up, picking his backpack and skateboard up with trembling hands. He stepped onto the second floor at last and walked to his classroom, urging his breathing to settle, and tears to hide.
When he reached the door to his classroom, he took one last deep breath and slid the door open, immediately catching the whole room's attention.
"Late again, Kyan? One more time and I'm writing you up." The teacher levelled him with a stare.
"My apologies, sir. It won't happen again. You can count on me." Reki put on a stone face and mock saluted, before making his way to his seat by the window.
"Hi." Langa smiled at him as he sat down.
"Hi." The redhead shot him a weak smile back and pulled out his class supplies to pay attention and take notes.
His plans fell short though, when he instead spent the remaining minutes replaying the conversation he had overheard in his head. What was he doing wrong that he still wasn't passing? Was it his face? His build? What was it about him that screamed girl?
"You really need to stop being late, Reki. Don't you have like a million alarms? How did you oversleep?" Langa questioned as soon as the class ended, drawing Reki out of his own head, and back into reality.
"I stayed up late finishing a commission that's supposed to be picked up today. I must have been too deep asleep to get woken up by them." The boy sighed and plopped his head onto his desk.
"Mmm. Sounds like something you would do." Langa trailed off and Reki tried not to think about earlier.
Suddenly there was a hand in his hair, playing with his loose curls. When he turned his head to the side and opened his eyes, Langa had moved his chair to sit in the middle of the alley between desks and was looking at him with those blue, blue eyes. "Everything okay? You seemed spaced out all class." He asked softly.
"You shouldn't do that at school." Reki said matter of factly and moved Langa's hand away from him. He didn't keep his eyes on his boyfriend long enough to notice if any emotion made its way onto his generally unexpressive features and buried his face in his elbows on the wooden desk.
By the time lunch period rolled around, the redhead was still swallowed up by dysphoria and his exhaustion was far too evident in his mannerisms. As a result Langa tried his best to find out what was wrong multiple times, before finally dropping it when he got waved off for the fourth time. They spent the rest of lunch period on the roof in silence, Langa slowly making his way through his sandwich, and Reki playing around with the contents of his bento with his chopsticks.
He felt terrible for souring his boyfriend's mood too, but in the moment he couldn't be damned to attempt to make it better.
At the end of the school day, Reki was to go straight to Dope Sketch, while Langa's shift didn't start until two hours later.
They made their way down an empty hallway after cleaning up the classroom, and Langa grabbed his boyfriend's hand in his, intertwining their fingers. "I'll see you at work then?" He planted a small kiss on the redhead's temple and squeezed his hand.
"Yeah. See you then." Reki smiled softly, bringing their joint hands to his lips and kissing the back of Langa's. "We still on for S today?"
"Yes. Unless you don't want to go?"
"You're racing Miya! No way am I missing that." Reki chuckled softly, causing Langa to smile like he only does for him, and kiss his temple once again. "Sorry I've been a downer all day."
"It's okay. I just hope you feel better soon. Call me if you need anything?"
"I'll see you in two hours, I doubt I will have to."
"Doesn't hurt to make sure you know the option's there." Langa spoke and squeezed Reki's hand one more time before letting go as they rounded the corner to the locker area. When they changed back into their outside shoes, they walked together to the school gates, where they said their goodbyes, each going a different direction.
It was a short ride to the Dope Sketch store, and once there, Reki greeted Oka with his usual energy and a wide grin. No need to make another person worried.
The first hour and a half were slow—restocking shelves and no customers. As four in the afternoon came close, the designated time for his commission's pick up neared. Reki was proud of it, he thought it was one of his best works, but that euphoria got quickly shattered to pieces when the guy that had ordered it started yelling at him, telling him all the ways it was wrong.
"Is this a joke? I ordered blue wheels, and the design is completely wrong!"
"Sir, in the order slip, you clearly selected red wheels and I dare say the deck is up to your description." Reki said calmly, trying to deescalate the situation and calm the customer down.
"No, I definitely chose the blue wheels. And the design was supposed to be black and white, not all the colors of the rainbow! That's what I get for commissioning a girl to do a man's work." Reki felt his stomach ride up into his throat.
"I'm so sorry, there must have a mix up then. Could you tell me your order number again?" His ears were ringing as he typed the code into the computer once again. It was the same number as he was previously told. He rechecked the number attached to the skateboard he was holding and it matched. "Let me see if there are any boards in the back that fit your description." He said, disappearing into the employee area and looking through the boards with shaking hands.
"What's going on?" Oka appeared next to him, "I heard yelling?"
"Either I mixed up orders, or the customer is making shit up." The redhead replied, busying his mind with solving the situation, so he wouldn't break down. "I checked the order description like 5 times while making it, and it correlates to the design and number, and there's no orders that fit his current description of the design, nor are there any boards back here like that."
"Let me check the system with you, we'll solve this, okay?" Oka crossed the few step distance between the two and placed a gentle hand on Reki's shoulder. He hadn't noticed how much he was shaking until the steady touch grounded him. "Breath," and he did as he was told, taking a deep breath in and slowly exhaling it.
"Good afternoon, sir. Let's see where the problem is." Oka took over the conversation as soon as he emerged into the store's main area. Reki almost completely zoned out, barely catching his manager's words as he repeated the order details back to the customer who kept retorting back about how that's not what he ordered.
"I'm sorry, sir, but according to our system, your order was indeed with red wheels and a full color design. You can cancel this order and create a new one but it will take another week to be made."
"No, I need the board tomorrow, I can't wait another week! How can you even employ this young lady with how useless she is! I hope you fire her after this incident, she must have changed my order to fit her ideals!" It was like a dozen knives stabbing Reki with each word, rendering his body useless and mind incapable of saying a word.
The worst part came when the door opened and Langa stepped in half way through the man's rant.
"Sir, this is my best employee, I will not fire him over a mix up."
"I don't care she's your best employee!" Reki's body jerked as he heard the pronouns, eyes trained on the blue haired boy witnessing the situation. "I have a beef tomorrow and I need this board. She completely ruined my chances at winning!"
"The board's parameters are as according to your order, the only differences are the colors you asked for. There are three solutions here: you will take this board, or commission a new one that will be done in a week, or you can find somewhere else." Oka's voice was stern, but Reki didn't dare take his eye off of his boyfriend, as he was the only thing keeping him from disassociating completely.
"I'm not commissioning shit from this chick again! It will just be another failure!" The customer was yelling at this point, every word driving another dozen daggers through Reki's body, bringing him closer and closer to the edge of breaking down.
"Then get the fuck out of my establishment and stop accusing my workers of something they didn't do." Oka's voice was level with the stranger's as he pointed to the exit with his whole arm. For a second there was quiet, Reki finally having enough courage to scan the room and assess the situation further. The two men were staring at each other.
The customer looked to Reki for a second, stared him down, returned his eyes to Oka and left with huffs of anger. When the doorbell rung upon the closing of the door, Reki let himself fall to the ground, closing his eyes and centring all of his concentration to his breaths so he wouldn't cry.
"You okay, kid?" It took all of his strength not to move away from the touch. He needed it—he needed to feel someone else so he wouldn't fall down the mental chasm he was edging.
"Yea, I'm good." When Reki spoke, his voice betrayed him, coming out hight and shaky.
"Reki?" Langa's voice came from in front of him. He opened his eyes and was met with blue. "Talk to me, how can I help?"
"I'll be fine, don't worry about it." The redhead forced out a smile, sounding much more sure than before. He shook Oka's hand off, stood up, and walked back to the wheel section that he had been sorting before. He ignored the looks thrown his way and didn't pay attention to the words exchanged behind him. He just needed to focus on work and everything would be okay.
The remaining three hours of his shift breezed past as if they were mere minutes, so when the clock hit seven in the evening, he didn't even notice.
"Hey kid, your shift's over." Oka called over to him from behind the register, a slight hint of worry evident on his face when Reki looked his direction. He silently looked over to where the clock hung on the wall above the door to the back area, before hanging his eyes on Langa and swiftly going back to Oka.
"Oh. Right. Finally." He chuckled and stretched out his back as well as he could. "Well, I'll go get my things then. See you guys at S!" He proclaimed, picking up the open box of trucks he had been unloading onto shelves, and carried it with himself into the storage area. As he walked through the door into the back he couldn't help but hear Oka quietly approving Langa to go after him.
Two steps later, the blue haired boy was right behind him, "Reki? Are you okay?"
"I did say not worry about it, right? Multiple times? I didn't imagine that?" Reki replied, eyes focused on the box he was placing atop of others.
"You did." Langa agreed from behind.
"Good. Now, if you don't have anything else to talk about, I'll see you later?" He still didn't look back, hands now resting on the box.
After a moment of silence a response came at last, "No. I'll see you later. I'll pick you up like usual?" Reki hummed in response, nodded to himself and swiftly left the shop with his backpack slung over his shoulder and skateboard in hand.
It wasn't lost on him. The way the two had been careful around him the whole remainder of his shift. The way they were treading eggshells as if he would break from just another asshole customer. It wasn't anything new, Reki had dealt with his fair share of dicks that decided to yell at him for doing his job. The misgendering was a simple cherry on top, not a blow of wind to his castle of cards. He would be fine.
But the thing about castles of cards is that they have a maximum load, and the cherries weren't far from being piled up by one too many.
The setting Sun accompanied the redhead as he rode his skateboard. The sky was colored pink and purple, merging into yellows and oranges the closer he gazed towards west. Taking the long way home by the river bank, feeling the air in his hair, it reminded him of his first ollie. He popped his tail and jumped as if it was his second nature. He pushed off the ground and jumped again, higher this time. He did so another five times, pushing himself further by each one, ready for a sixth when a pebble made its way under his wheels and he sprinted forward, avoiding a harsh fall.
He turned around and looked back at his board laying wheels up good ten meters behind him. He walked over to pick it up, and didn't step on it again for the rest of his walk.
Home was chaotic. As soon as Reki stepped inside, he regretted not detouring for longer.
It was nearing the twins' curfew and that meant loudness and restlessness. Where it usually brought a background hum and noise to fill the quiet he hated so much, it brought anxiety today.
After saying quick greetings, he sped past the kitchen into his room, locked the door and took a number of deep breaths with his forehead resting against it. When his heart didn't feel like it would jump out of his chest, he pushed himself off and went to busy his mind with homework.
"Reki!" A hushed exclaim came from the outside in the middle of an equation. Without even peering out the window, he grabbed his jacket, skateboard and backpack, and opened it. As he quietly jumped out and ran over, Langa was waiting for him sitting on his scooter.
"Hi." He smiled, planting a slow and soft kiss on his lips, before getting on and letting himself be driven to the other side of town.
Nearing the gates shortly after midnight, it was evident there were more people than usual, seemingly eager to see SNOW and Miya race each other for the first time in months. They had all sort of stopped racing each other during proper S hours in favour of training together during the day. It was about time they dusted off their racing shoes and did a few friendly matches.
Today, however, the costs were dire. Langa's win meant Miya would buy him all the burgers he could eat for the next to weeks, and Miya's win meant Langa would buy them the next instalment in their favorite game series that was set to come out in five days.
"Hello, SNOW! Ready to be crushed!?" The youngster yelled across the whole starting area as soon as they noticed Reki and Langa walking up to them, hands intertwined.
"Oh, you will be the one getting crushed. Can't wait for two weeks of free burgers."
"Hah! You wish, slime."
Reki watched them bicker with a smile plastered on his face, his heart finally letting go and feeling at ease after a long day. This was exactly what he needed.
It wasn't long until he was ushered to the side and the race was ready to begin. The two got ready on the starting line and the lights above them beeped in a slow rhythm before sounding off their start. Miya jumped on their board a sliver of a second earlier than the other and immediately pulled ahead, Langa catching up fast.
"Hey!" A hand landed on Reki's shoulder as he was watching his friends ride as if their lives depended on it. He turned to face the unknown voice and was met with a black haired guy he had seen around S a few times.
"Hi." He smiled back.
"I'm Takashi, nice to meet you." The guy—Takashi— smiled wider and moved his hand to hold it between them, ready to accept Reki's for a handshake.
"Reki." He replied, taking it.
"I hope this isn't too forward, but I was wondering if you'd be interested in going out with me? I mean, it's not every day you see such a pretty girl at S." He chuckled almost endearingly if it weren't for Reki's heart making its way back to his throat, choking him.
"I'm a guy." He replied but couldn't even hear himself speak. He barely felt his body. "And anyways, I have a boyfriend."
"Ah, shit! My bad man." He laughed shortly as if this was the funniest tiny misunderstanding in the world. "I mean the guy bit wouldn't be a dealbreaker but hey. See you around?" Reki wanted to-
"Yeah! See you around."
As soon as the brunet had his back to him, he dropped his board on the ground and pushed off. His legs burned from the effort before he was even outside of the gates. He needed to get out.
His eyes stung with tears and lungs barely did their job between wet heaves but he didn't stop. He didn't stop when he almost crashed into people, he didn't stop when he could barely see through the water in his eyes, he didn't stop when he rode onto a full road and a car swerved past him and blared its horn.
He didn't stop until there was no air in his lungs left, and he dropped to the grass between the road and the sea bank, gripping his chest with one hand, holding himself up with the other.
He could barely breath, feeling like he was going to choke on his own tears any second, when a muffled voice behind him called his name and he felt his heart stop working too.
"Reki? Can you hear me? I saw you on my way to S, you seemed pretty distraught, what happened?" Oka spoke as he walked closer but Reki couldn't turn around. He didn't want to be seen in this state, but he couldn't get his body to move, he felt so weak. "Reki?" A hand landed on his shoulder, the same one as Takashi had touched, the same one as everyone had been touching his whole fucking life and he hated it.
He hated the feeling of another person's flesh touching him, he hated every single bit of it. He hated the heat it brought, the way it made his body heavier, the way he wouldn't be able to get rid of the ghost of the touch for days and he would scrub the spot until it almost bled while in the shower.
But at the same time he craved it. To feel the comforting warmth and weight of another human being that was there for him.
He turned around without hesitation and wrapped his arms around Oka's middle, knocking him to the ground with his force as he sobbed into his chest.
After a beat of no movement, he felt his manager shift slightly, and firm hands wrapped around his small shoulders. Oka laid his head atop of Reki's and brushed his arms up and down, calming his shoulders as they jerked with every broken attempt at an inhale.
"It's okay, you're okay. I've got you, kid. You're gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay."
The redhead didn't know how long he had spent like that, but eventually his breathing evened out, his grip loosened, and he carefully pushed himself off.
"I'm so sorry, I don't know what got into me." He crossed his legs at the ankles as he sat on his own, wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie, staying well within an arms reach of his manager.
"You have nothing to apologize for, Reki." Oka copied his seating position, and reached out to wipe away a stray tear that started making its way down his cheek. "Now, do you wanna tell me what happened?"
"It's stupid."
"It's not stupid if it's gotten you this upset."
"It will sound stupid to you."
"Is it because of that guy at work?"
Reki went silent. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk about everything, but he was way past a point of pretending it wasn't affecting him.
"It's not just him." He mumbled at last, eyes trained on the grass he was tugging at with his calloused fingers. He waited a moment, deciding whether to continue or keep the rest to himself.
He forged ahead.
"Today's been a long day." He spoke slowly, tore out the bit of weeds he had been playing with, and started shredding them. "I came to school late, and on my way to the classroom I overheard some girls talking about Langa." He took a deep breath as he remembered the morning. He could still hear their voices in his mind. Who's that girl that's always hanging out with him? "One of them thought I was a girl. The other one corrected her, but also turns out people at school saw me and Langa in town at some point and there's a rumour we're together. I mean it's true, but Langa's already being judged just for associating with me, I don't want him to get fully dragged down with me. You know?" Reki finally looked up to meet Oka's gaze.
"I think I know what you mean, yes, but- I don't think it's up to you to shield him from this. How much have you two talked about being public?"
"Not much, I guess. Not in a long time anyway, basically not since we got together, when we decided to keep it outside of school."
"I think you should talk about again, then. You're out to everyone and he's not. If there are rumours he should know about them too, so you can figure out what to do about them. Preferably together."
"I know, I know. I will tell him, I'm just- I don't know... Scared he'll get upset? And won't want anything to do with me anymore? I mean, I know it doesn't make sense, especially considering he's very affectionate in public already, I'm just scared that school will somehow be a different story for him."
"The Langa I know would never be ashamed of you. No matter the setting."
"Yeah. I guess, you're right." Reki looked back to the ground, moving his hands to pick at a new patch of grass.
"What else happened today?" Oka prompted when he stayed quiet.
"Right, um... Well, it took me like all of school to get over this morning, and then at work- Fine, I lied about it being nothing, but honestly I just wanted to forget it happened. I didn't wanna talk about it, I didn't wanna think about it, it happened and something similar will probably happen again, and it really wasn't that much of a big deal. But then at S- I was watching Langa race and this guy came up to me. I've seen him around a few times and he um," he chuckled dryly, "he asked me out. Thought I was a girl, so I told him I'm not and he apologized but-" He shrugged exaggeratedly and quickly wiped away the tear that escaped his left eye. "I just had to get out of there." He whispered, concentrating on the grass between his fingers.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Reki."
"It's nothing. It's stupid." The redhead dropped whatever greens he was holding and started talking again before Oka could interject. "Look, I'm really sorry about- Like- Breaking down in your arms, that was really not cool of me. I just- It feels really lonely. No-one around me understands this."
"You needed someone. And I'm glad I was here to help... I know it wasn't the easiest with me in the beginning, and I never will truly know what this is like for you, but I do understand. You've told me and showed me enough of yourself to make me understand and I thank you for that. I'm sure others will understand too, but you need to give them the chance to first. I've got your back though, kid. No matter what, no matter when, I'll be there if you need someone, okay?" There was a warm smile on Oka's face, and his eyes radiated determination.
Reki nodded, and his eyes got flooded with tears again as he thought about the first few weeks at Dope Sketch, and how his younger self never once in a million years could even imagine his boss comforting him like this—the same boss he had to explain what being transgender even meant.
"Come back here." Oka exhaled as he wrapped his arms around Reki's frame, and brought him back to his chest. "Thank you for telling me everything." He spoke into Reki's hair, and brushed his arms up and down the redhead's back again. "Thank you for trusting me with this."
"Thank you for being here." Reki sniffled into Oka's chest, relief and content for the moment washing over him
A few minutes could have easily passed as Reki soaked up the comfort and let time flow its way, when Oka's phone started playing a tune signalling an incoming call. He willed his body to move back up, strong hands letting him go and reaching for the screaming device.
"Hey, Langa." He said as soon as he put it up to his ear, making Reki's eyes widen and shoot up to meet Oka's. "Yeah, he's here with me... No sorry, I'll bring him back right away... He's okay as can be... Yea, we'll be there soon." He pocketed the phone, stood up and reached a hand down to help the redhead up. "He's worried. It's been almost half an hour since you left, did you not bring your phone?"
"Pretty sure I left it in his scooter." Reki took the hand offered, chuckled awkwardly, and internally beat himself up for worrying Langa, again.
"Let's just get you back to him." Oka shook his head and led them back to his car.
The whole drive the redhead bounced his right leg up and down and didn't take his eyes off the road before him. As they drove into the partly decaying parking lot, his gaze focused on the blue haired boy eagerly awaiting their arrival. By the time they parked and Oka turned the engine off, Langa was standing right by the passenger door, but leaving enough room so Reki wouldn't feel suffocated by his presence.
"Hi." He smiled awkwardly as he got out of the car and slammed the door closed behind him. He searched his boyfriend's features for any indications of how he was feeling. "So... Did you win th-"
"You left." Langa said in response instead, speaking before Reki even finished his sentence, making him cast his eyes to the ground. "You just left. You can't do that. You can't just leave and not bring your phone, and not tell me where you're going."
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." Was this it? Langa's final straw?
"I'm going to hug you now." He proclaimed after a few beats, causing Reki to raise his eyes back up and stare at his boyfriend. Langa took two swift steps forward and brought the redhead into his arms, "And you're going to tell me what happened."
"I'm sorry." Reki echoed himself, wrapping his own arms firmly around Langa's middle. "I had to get out of here. I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry." He felt tears prickle his eyes again. He clawed at the other's shirt in an effort to somehow bring him closer than was possible. It wasn't their end.
"It's okay, you just got me really worried. Especially with how off you've been all day, I didn't know if you weren't about to do something stupid again."
"No, no, I wouldn't. I'm so sorry I worried you." Reki said as he hung onto his boyfriend like his saving grace, before finally relaxing and slightly easing off. He moved his hand behind himself to take one of Langa's, and brought it between them to intertwine their fingers and hold it to his chest. He stared at it and let the other plant a few kisses into his wind ruffled hair. "Can we go talk to your place? I don't really want to be here right now. I'm sorry for ruining your night, I'll make it up to you." He spoke softly and kissed the hand he held in his.
"It's okay. Let's go." Langa nodded, though they stood there for a few more moments. At last, Langa dropped his free hand and led Reki to where his scooter was parked. The redhead clung to his boyfriend the whole ride, reciting to himself what he wanted to say over and over again.
Sneaking into Langa's room was easy in general, but especially easy today, considering his mom had a night shift at the hospital and they didn't have to sneak at all. As they entered the apartment, they went straight to the blue haired boy's room, ditching their skateboards by the door when they walked in.
"Change first?" Langa turned around, fishing clothes from his closet. Reki nodded, pulled out his own change of clothing from his backpack and left for the bathroom.
He'd gotten comfortable undressing in front of Langa, but today he felt like he might actually throw up if another person saw his body.
He locked the door, draped what he was to put on over the bathtub, and pulled his sweatshirt off over his head along with the t-shirt underneath. He couldn't help but look in the mirror. He couldn't help but gaze over his scar-ridden body, his chest suffocating under a piece of hoarse fabric. He pulled it off as well, revealing the week old tape he hadn't had enough energy to peel off.
He threw the garments on the floor and straightened in the mirror, just looking at himself. At the freckles covering nearly every inch of his body, at the scars of varying shapes, each telling a vastly different story, and at his hair, eyes, nose, mouth, ears, hands—everything—and searched for the thing that made everyone so convinced upon a first glance that he was a girl. He couldn't find it.
He finished changing and went back, laying his pile of clothes on top of his backpack in a corner of the room.
"That took you a while. You okay?" Langa commented, sitting on his bed and gestured for Reki to come join him. The redhead shook his head in denial as he walked over, and sat down with his back against the headboard, copying the other, arms touching.
"I've had a shit day." He confessed, letting his head fall onto Langa's shoulder, and brought his knees to his chest.
"Tell me about it?" The blue haired boy prompted, laying his head onto Reki's, and grabbing his boyfriend's hand to intertwine their fingers.
"Mhm. Just don't really know how to start."
"Take your time." Langa planted a kiss into Reki's hair after he spoke, and brought his own knees up to his chest to let his right fall to the side and be flush with the other's.
Reki hummed in response, and collected his words one last time before starting. "When I got to school, I was like ten minutes late. I was running up the stairs when I heard some girls talking about you, calling you all dreamy and stuff." He smiled and bounced his knee against Langa's, swinging them in no rhythm in particular. "Then one of them was like 'Who's that girl that's always around him? The redhead with a bandana.'" He paused, stilling his body, but snuggling closer to his boyfriend. "The other corrected her, but... It had been said, and I had heard it.
"I'm sorry I was so weird all morning, it had got to me more than I thought it would. And then at work- You were there for the worst of it, I think. Honestly, I barely remember anymore, I completely zoned out when Oka came out to help.
"I would have been fine- I was fine- had it just been those two things but then... Shortly after your beef started this guy came up to me. He was all nice and polite and asked me out, which would have been fine, but then he said it 'wasn't every day you see such a pretty girl at S.'" Reki took another pause, and steadied his breathing as he felt tears fight their way to spill from his eyes for what felt like the millionth time that day. "I told him I was a guy and also taken, and he apologized for his mistake, but when he left I couldn't breath.
"I had to get out of there, so I ran away. I wasn't thinking, and I'm really sorry I just got up and left without letting you know. Oka saw me skating away and followed me. Saw me breaking down on the shore, and helped me through it... I am so sorry I left you, I said I would never do it again, and then I did, and I'm so sorry. I will find a way to apologize properly and make it up to you."
"Thank you, it's okay. You're making it up to me by being safe. I'm sorry your day's been so difficult, and that I wasn't there to help you."
"I wasn't letting you. I thought you wouldn't understand. I was suffocating myself, feeling lonely and sorry for myself, but I never actually let you or anyone help me. Oka pointed it out to me, that there was no way for you to understand if I didn't give you the chance to. So, this is me trying to open up a bit more, I guess."
Reki thought he would feel better once he got it out there. He thought that once he told Langa how he'd been feeling, that constant sensation of someone choking his breath out of him would ease off. That his stomach wouldn't threaten to spill upon the slightest hint of anxiety, and his heart wouldn't ache to let another person be close. But another wave of nausea hit, as he waited for judgement.
Before he spoke, Langa took the hand he was holding in his other, threw his now free arm around Reki's shoulders, and brought him into his hold. "Thank you for giving me a chance. I'll be here for you no matter what, and I will wait for you to tell me everything you'll be comfortable with. I love you so much." He planted a few dozen kisses to Reki's hair, forehead, cheeks—anywhere he had access to really.
"I love you too." Reki smiled under the touch of his boyfriend's lips and brought him in to meet his. The kiss was slow, not unlike many they'd shared before, yet it was still as sweet as the first time, and as delicate as both of them felt in the moment.
When they separated and went back to simply holding each other for comfort, Reki spoke up again. "There's one more thing... Apparently people at school know about us. Someone saw us in town, and spread it around. I'm really sorry, it's my fault. I should have been more careful."
"Careful how?"
"I don't know. I should have made sure no-one that knows us was around- I mean- I don't want you to get in trouble or something for dating me."
"I don't care about anyone else's opinion other than yours. I know in the beginning we said we didn't want people to know, but I honestly could not care else what they think. I love you, my mom loves you, and that's all I need. If you want us to still keep it from the school, I have no problem with that, but you don't have to worry about me. For what it's worth, I will always love you shamelessly."
Reki tried to come up with a response, opening and closing his mouth, but incapable of making a sound. "I love you so much." He said at last, burried his face in Langa's chest, and whispered, "I would love to be open about us."
"Then its settled." Langa kissed into the redhead's hair, tightening his hold in reassurance.
"Oh, you didn't answer me earlier, did you win the beef?"
"Why, of course, I did. There were free burgers on the line!" Langa spoke in a serious voice with pride bleeding through, causing Reki to huff out a small laugh, before starting to laugh properly. The blue haired boy joined in as they lost their breath.
Despite physically gasping for air, Reki felt he could finally breath. In the moment, he didn't feel like his stomach was being wrung in a washing machine and the burn of his heart was barely noticeable. It might get bad again sometime, but for now, it would be okay. He would be okay.