Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Pausing on the sidewalk, you pulled out a slip of paper from your pocket. You looked at the slightly crumpled flier in your hand. It was bright red with pink lettering. 

Single?

Lonely?

Don’t want to be that sad sap who sits all alone in a bar on Valentine’s Day?

Join us for a night of fun and maybe even a little more ;)

        Speed Dating       

Cute Singles

Free Cocktails

7 pm

The Blue Siren

You rolled your eyes at the gaudy flier. Were you really about to spend your night spending only five minutes with a bunch of complete strangers. This could either be super awkward or super fun. It all depends on how much you’d drink. The free cocktails were about 70% of the reason why you were here.

Shaking your head, you continued to the blue flashing sign that stood out against the darkness of the fading sun. The place looked a bit run down, but most good bars did. You walked in and scanned the place. Various people were sitting at the bar, leaning against the wall, and some sitting at tables. There was a pretty good crowd. A lot more than you expected in all honesty.

“Hi there!”

The peppy voice caught you off guard, causing you to jump slightly.

A man stood before you, his pale face covered in makeup. He seemed to be wearing a frilly pink tutu over a red leotard. “Yes?”

“You’re here for the speed dating, right?”

“Yes,” you affirmed.

“What’s your name sweetheart?”

You answered him and watched as he wrote it down on a sticker.

“Well, I’m Bon Clay.” He took the sticker and placed it on your chest. “You’re number 13!” He grabbed your hand and tugged you after him. “Just follow me dear~”

As you followed after him, you couldn’t help but look at the other people who had decided to attend the event.

A few young men stood at the bar, one swaying and singing along to the music playing in the background, the others watching him in disdain.  Two women sat at a table chatting with one another as if they were good a friends, two males sat to their side giving them their full attention.  A few older gentlemen sat in the corner, one talking animatedly about something. One man in a giant pink coat seemed to be bothering a man with a cigar by the look on his face. Lively bunch indeed...

A waiter walked by and offered you a drink, which you gladly accepted.

“Here we are,” he called out as he pulled a chair out for you.  Bon Clay bent over, placed his hands on you shoulders, and placed his mouth near your ear. “You’re a lucky one! All odd numbers get to remain seated and let the others come to them.”

“Hell yeah,” you laughed as you took a sip of your drink.

The lights flickered for a moment and large spotlights turned on over the small stage in the back. A man stood there, large purple hair catching your attention.

“Good evening ladies and lovers,” he cooed out. “I hope you’re all ready to find love because things are about to get exciting hee-haw! If there’s any stalling in conversation, simply use a handy conversation card on your table”

The lights came back on.

“Now everyone get to your places!”

Everyone took their seats, looking at who they were sitting across from.

“Let the dating commence in 3, 2, 1 mmmfufufu.”

The timer rang, announcing the start of the five minutes.

You finished off your drink in one go and looked at the person that sat in front of you.

Chapter Text

“Howdy,” the boy called out before he even took a seat.

“Hi,” you leaned back in your seat as the room seemed to grow a tad bit warmer.

“I’m Ace, nice to meet you!”

You introduced yourself, marveling at his large smile the whole time. His freckles stood out against his tan skin, his dark, messy hair cute in its own way. He wasn’t even wearing a shirt.

You resisted the urge to fan yourself at both the temperature and your new date.

“So uhhh, a little about myself….” He looked up and rubbed the back of his head in thought. “I like traveling, eating lots of good food, I fall asleep sometimes but that’s not really a big deal, OH, and I’m a big brother!” His smile came back full force. “You should meet my brother some time! He’s the nicest ever. I’m sure the two of you would get along just swell!”

“Uhh, yeah sure.”

“Crap, where are my manners? I’m so busy talking about myself you haven’t gotten a word in. Tell me about yourself.”

You paused at how sincere he really was. “Alright well I’ve lived here all my life, I enjoy cooking, and I have a tiny-

SLAM

Ace’s face now lay flat on the table, soft snores escaping through his lips.

You placed your hand on your chest, “Oh my goodness are you alright?”

The timer sent out its shrill tune, waking him up.

“What?” He looked around confused, “Time already?” He hopped up and gave you a wave. “See ya later!”

“Bye,” you mumbled as he took off.

Chapter Text

“Hey hey hey there good looking,” he managed to say before even sitting down. With a flick of his hand, he turned the chair around and plopped into it. “How you doing?”

“Fine,” you choked out.

He smirked at you over his glasses, teeth shining. “I’m Apoo, but you can call me any time.” He placed a card in your hand with his number on it.

“Oh my god,” you breathed out.

“So you have any favorite musicians, dj’s? What kind of music you listen to?”

“Uhh, anything that’s on the radio is cool with me.”

He sat up in his chair, hands pushing him back. “What? Seriously?” He waved his hand in the air, “That’s a bunch of junk. You gotta dig deeper to find the good stuff. Anything mainstream is blegh.” He made a face and pointed a finger into his mouth.

You let out a chuckle at his childishness.

“You got a cute laugh, nice smile too. I like that.”

“Dear god, you come on strong.”

“Ay what can I say? If I want something, I go after it. That’s how things are in the world these days.”

The timer dinged once again, interrupting your conversation.

“Well it certainly was nice meeting you,” you told him.

“Same here babe, see you around.”

Chapter Text

Boob window

This man has a boob window

You shook your head at your own pervy thoughts and and cleared your throat.

“Good evening,” he greeted you. “I’m X Drake.”

You stuck your hand out, allowing him to take it. “Hi,” you mimicked.

Drake gave you a firm shake and released your hand.

You could tell he was uncomfortable as he started fidget slightly in his seat.

“Sooo, why don’t we try one of our ice breakers!” You picked up the card and gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m sure it won’t be that bad!”

“That sounds like a good plan,” he insisted.

“Alright, let’s see here.” You cleared your throat and read it out loud, “Would you ever have a threesome with your partner and a stranger.” Your cheeks started to heat up at such an invasive question. “Geez, I don’t really think I would.”

“I wouldn’t either,” he responded as his cheeks started to glow.

“Okay, next one! Spit or swall-OH COME ON!” You slapped the card down, “These are horrible questions!”

The blush on Drake’s face had only grown with the question.

“I’m so sorry,” you pleaded, placing your hand on his. “Is this making you uncomfortable? We can just chat if you want.”

The timer dinged and you both looked up at the clock.

“I suppose that’s all the time we have.” Drake stood up from his chair and gave you a small bow. “It was lovely to meet you, despite the uh…. inappropriate questions. Perhaps we would fare better in a more intimate setting?"

“That sounds good,” you responded. 

"Farewell," he bid you with a bow. 

Chapter Text

He almost fell into the chair, his tight grip on the table the only thing that saved him.

“Are you alright,” you asked.

“Me? Of course!” He pointed at himself as he sat up and puffed out his chest. “I’m the great Captain Usopp!” He looked at you with a smirk, “And who might you be?”

You took in his curly hair and long nose as you told him your name.

“Ahh, a nice enough name.” He chuckled and crossed his arms. “So, I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I have an army of 8000 followers.” He buffed his nails on his shirt and blew on them. “No big deal.

“Riiiiight,” you drawled out. “Well Captain Usopp of the army 8000 strong, I haven’t seen either you or your army in any papers.”

His eyes widened as he jumped up in his chair, “YOU HAVEN’T?” Quickly composing himself, he laughed off your statement. “Of course you haven’t. The World Government wouldn’t want tales of my exploits getting out to the public and scaring the innocents.

You could only sit back and listen as he droned on about how great he was, eyes dangerously close to rolling into the back of your head.

The timer dinged off and you let out a sigh of relief.

“What? Already?”

“Yep,” you called out jumping up. “Nice meeting you, have a good life,” you chattered as you pushed him away.

Chapter Text

The first thing you noticed was the bird perched on his shoulder as he sat down, arms crossing over his chest. Rob Lucci was written on the sticker that stood out on his black suit.

“Hi,” you greeted him.

“Hello,” the bird responded.

You looked up in surprise, not quite expecting that. “Oh wow, he talks!”

“Of course I do, idiot.”

“And he’s an asshole,” you bit out in retort.

Rob gave a slight smile, the corners of his mouth upturning.

“You don’t look too peachy yourself.”

“I must say I’ve never met a rude bird before. What else can he do?”

“I can do a lot more than just verbal assault, sweetheart.” The bird seemed to peer down at you in disgust. He seemed as though he was ready to attack your face.

You placed a hand on your chest and leaned back in your chair. “My apologies. I just didn’t expect you to speak to me.”

“Be a little more open and maybe people won’t be so rude.”

“Fair enough,” you responded.

The timer dinged, announcing that your five minutes were up.

“I hope you have a good night,” Rob Lucci bade you as he stood.

Your mouth dropped open as you realized he had been throwing his voice the entire time.

“HEY,” you called out as he walked away.

He looked back at you, smirking.

Chapter Text

His jet black hair stood out against his tan skin. His facial hair was neat and tidy, the dark circles under his eyes making you a tad bit curious.

He read your name tag out loud, "Nice to meet you. I'm Law."

"Hello." You looked deeper into his eyes, lowering your voice. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," he looked at you questioningly. "Is something wrong?"

"You look really tired. Are you getting enough sleep?"

Law squinted his eyes at you and crossed his arms. "I'm perfectly fine, besides I'm a doctor."

"Oh, really,” you asked with an air of suspicion.

“Yes, really. I’m a surgeon. Don’t patronize me about my own health.”

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes. “God forbid a stranger take the time out of their day to even bother worrying about your health.”

Law grabbed his hat and lowered his head. “My apologies. I just thought you were being condescending.”

“Did I sound like that? My bad.” You scrunched up your face. “You just really look like you could use a good nap.”

He looked back up at you, eyes softening a tad. “Thank you for your concern, but I’m fine.” He looked the place over in disdain. “I’m just on edge. This isn’t my type of scene.”

“Maybe you should have a drink?”

“Maybe,” he smirked at you.

The timer went off.

Law let out a sigh. “Time to move on. It was nice talking to you.”

“Same here. Get some rest, okay?”

He nodded in affirmation before leaving you.

Chapter Text

“Hey there, yoi.” The man plopped down into the chair, slinging one arm over the back. “I’m Marco.” He leaned over, tired eyes squinting as he read your name tag. “Nice to meet you.”

“Same here!”

“So are you looking for something?”

“Looking for something?”

“Yeah, a date, a hook up, something casual?”

“Ohhh,” you laughed. “I’m not looking for much. Just something to pass the evening.”

“Ahh, I’m the same. That, and I came to keep a lookout on a friend.”

“That’s very kind of you.”

“It’s not for him particularly, but those around him.”

You looked around nervously. “Do I need to keep a look out for him?”

He saw the quizzical look on your face and laughed to ease you up. “Nothing bad will happen, trust me. He’s just a bit of fire cracker, yoi.”

“Good, I’d hate to have my night interrupted by something ridiculous.”

He picked up a card, holding it between two fingers. “Mind if I ask you a few?”

“Go ahead!”

“If you were left on an abandoned island, what three things would you bring with you?”

“Hmm, a book, a coat, and a phone. You?”

“Ahh, I wouldn’t need much. Some food and water would be good. Maybe a compass.”

The timer dinged loudly in the background.

“Welp, I guess that’s it for us.” Marco stood up and winked at you. “If you ever see me around, don’t be a stranger.”

Chapter Text

The room seemed to cool down by a few degrees as the next person approached you.

All you saw was legs until the rest of him sat down into the chair. His elbow rested on the back of the chair, his fist supporting his head.

"My my, what's somebody like you doing here?"

"Ehh, just killing time."

He rubbed his hair and fixed you with a sleepy smile. "Well that's already something we have in common." He leaned forward, holding out a gloved hand. "Kuzan."

You shook his hand introducing yourself and taking note of how cold it was.

He put his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hands, giving you his full attention. "What's your favorite rainy day activity?"

"Oh that's easy, take a nap. What else would you do on a rainy day?"

Kuzan's smile grew, "I'm already starting to like you."

"Really now?" You chuckled, covering your lips. "What makes you say that?"

"You're calm....chill. I like that."

"You're a pretty cool cucumber yourself, and I don't just mean personality-wise."

That seemed to catch him off guard. "My bad, kind of a side effect of my devil fruit."

"You ate a devil fruit?"

The timer went off, catching him before he could answer.

He stood up and winked at you behind his glasses. "Maybe we can get drinks later and get to know each other a little better." Kuzan walked off, waving at you over his shoulder. "See you around."

Chapter Text

He smiled down at you, his golden sunglasses gleaming in the light. “Hellooo, I’m Borsalino.” He held out his hand.

You stuck your hand out, allowing him to shake your hand.

Instead, he brought it to his lips and pressed a light kiss on your knuckles.

“Old school,” you thought. “So how old are you?”

“Meeee?” He laughed at your question and rest his head in the palm of his hand. “I’m old enough. So what do you do for fun?”

You quickly listed off a few hobbies and turned the questioning to him. “What about you?”

“Ahh, there aren’t manyyy. Work keeps me quite busy.”

“Where do you work?”

He sat up and pointed at himself, “Oh me?.” He tilted his head to the side and gave you a large grin. “I’m an admiral.”

You almost choked on your spit at the casualness in his voice.

“But enough about me. You’re quite the cuuute one~” He reached across the table and pushed a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “And such a lovely smile.”

A blush formed on your cheeks at his compliments. “I’m not that cute.”

“Nonsense, I’m amazed someone like you is even here.”

“I had nothing to better to do,” you waved him off. “Why are you here?”

“I came along with a few friends of mine. One in particular really needed it.”

The timer rang, the two of you blinking at one another

“If you see someone named Sakazuki, be nice to him, alright?” He stood up from his chair and took your hand, kissing it again. “It was quite the pleasure.”

Chapter Text

A large man gingerly took a seat after your previous visitor. His smile was wide, eyes closed.

“Good afternoon, how are you today?”

“I’m good,” you said cautiously. He was showing promise, which is a lot more than you could say for the others you had met tonight.

“That’s good. I’m Issho, but uh I suppose you can read from my name tag. May I ask your name?”

“Oh, right sorry.” You giggle nervously and told him your name.

“Ahh, what a lovely name.” His smile seemed to only increase. “I apologize for my behavior. I’m just an old man who’s not very familiar with things such as this.”

“Don’t sweat it at all,” you waved him off. “You’re one of the more polite ones I’ve spoken too tonight.”

“Really,” he questioned. “I’m very glad of that. I’d hate to know that I contributed to making this night unpleasant for you.”

You took his hand that was resting on the table and gave it a friendly squeeze. “I’m sure someone as sweet as you couldn’t do that.”

“Thank you very much,” he commented with a duck of the head.

The timer dinged and your face fell with disappointment.

“Already?”

“It was a pleasure to meet you,” Issho exclaimed. He placed a lingering kiss on your palm and stood up to leave. “I hope our paths cross again.”