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Ningguang arrives after long hours of traveling by plane. She is waiting for the girl who gives the guided tours of the abandoned city to pick her up. She’s excited but and at the same time she’s not, she stands there looking at nothing, overwhelmed by thee feeling, this unshakable feeling of being in a dream, she wants to cry and thinks it can't be possible that after all the years of effort she finally has a photography scholarship; that has been her passion since she was little, when she was able to understand what her parents did in Spain, they have a photography studio since they migrated from germany and she used to watch them work when she could, later she even helped them, which had given her experience but also passion, as Ningguang grew up the dream forged in a more solid way: to be a photographer for a recognized agency, to travel the world looking for the perfect photo and this scholarship puts her one step closer to that. The idea was clear as the sky: contrasts in an abandoned place, the scholarship had gotten her transportation, food and a camera, it was all she ever truly needed: a chance. To show her worth or to just try.
The girl introduced herself, her name was Beidou, she’s from the abandoned city, her parents lived there many years ago and were among the last ones to leave to move to more rural environments but she seemed very happy to give tours and stay there, it is low season so the other guides return to the busy cities to work, but not her, she was the only one Ningguang could contact for the tour. The plan was for Beidou to transport her to various places in the city throughout the two weeks that Ningguang would stay. The other girl looked a few years older than her but Ningguang is taller. Their styles were different, Beidou wore black on black and combat boots.
Ningguang looked like wearing a costume with her sneakers and pants, she was more of a dress kinda girl but that wasn’t possible in that place. The guide she read about that city was clear: it was abandoned so you had to be very careful of what you can find or what you can step on, but she looked out of place even trying not to. She didn’t care much because at least she was safe and she could walk long distances.
They didn’t speak during the hour of travel, only to formally introduce themselves, although Beidou already knows her name she asks for it again and her occupation trying to make small talk. Ningguang asks the same and about small things on the road, opening a talk to avoid the silence. The city is difficult to find but even more difficult is to get to it. She had to take a plane to Zurich and talk to Beidou to transport her from the airport to the city.
Ningguang’s first impression is devastating, it's like going back in time while you move forward, it's seeing how things were and how they can be, you can see how something is missing but at the same time it gives it attitude, the plants took control of their legitimate territory, there are imposing buildings that are covered in nature but faded, she takes out her camera and starts with some initial photos. A few minutes later they arrive at a hotel that contrasts with her first impression, the hotel is modern, it's a small building, it's simple but it’s easy to see that was build no more than a couple of years ago, it's well decorated and it's white, Beidou opens the main door, there's something that's the same outside and inside, everything is alone. It's just Beidou and Ningguang. The silence is heavy.
Beidou gives her the directions, her room key and tellsher about breakfast that since there are no other guests (or people for miles around) she can have it in the dining room, alone, or in his cabin that's a short distance from the back of the hotel. It's late so they say goodbye and Ning enters the room. It's a strange feeling, there are no sounds other than the animals, no traffic and the hustle of people. It's disturbing and peaceful at the same time, but since she’s exhausted from the flight she falls asleep right away. The next morning she gets up an hour and a half before the agreed breakfast time, She gets ready quickly and wanders around the hotel taking photos, it's interesting that this is also lonely, she leaves the hotel and walks around looking at the peculiar landscape, she takes some photos but she focus more on her personal experience, on processing the fact that she’s here and now, that this is both beautiful and disturbing.
-I had thought you were like the other tourists- Beidou says in English, behind her.
-What are the other tourists like?- Ningguang asks curious.
-They don't stop to look at the landscape, only to take photos of themselves, they make video blogs in all languages but the idea is clear: to show off.
-I'm a photographer, my intention is to capture.
-Then, I'll make your task easier.
Before starting the tour they have breakfast, they arrive at his cabin and it's like being transported to another place, it's made of wood (and not concrete like the buildings), behind it there's an animal corral, an orchard and a kind of garage, it's a little less than two kilometers on foot from the hotel so Beidou has his truck at the entrance, she explains to Ningguang that this is the cargo truck that when it's high season the other guides bring the other vehicles, they also have their hotel area but on the other side of the city that they usually arrive more from Germany than from Austria or Czech Republic, that tourists tend to be from the United States and not so much from Europe.
-So, you speak Spanish and English- Ningguang comments.
-And French because of the proximity and the school. And you, only English?
-Also Norwegian because of my mother and German because it's the official language here, English because of the tourists.
-I know three words in German: hello, thank you and sorry.
-Why do you know the word “sorry”?- He mocks.
-I'm very clumsy, I have to apologize if I hit people by mistake, those are the three words I try to learn in all languages. I can say them in Italian, Chinese, Russian, Arabic, Portuguese and sign language.
Beidou looks at her funny and they continue eating, Ningguang looks around the room, the other girl has a specific wall of books that are in languages she recognizes: English, German and French, and others she doesn't know. They finish breakfast and she takes her for a walk around the north side (their side) of the city, Ningguang takes the tripod and two cameras with her, she wanders around the buildings, takes photos of the houses and buildings, Beidou is interested in her process and Ning shows her some pictures, they eat on the van and talk for a while, they speak about simple things, including nicknames, ages and little stories,there is something that unites you with someone when you are the only people in a city.
The next morning Ningguang goes to Beidou's house alone, she opens the door, it seems like she just took a shower because her hair is wet, Ning follows her and while Beidou makes breakfast the other girl walks around the shelves, she stands on chairs to see the titles and grabs a few in English, she looks through them enthusiastically and gives her the two books that she brought with her from Spain in that language, the only ones in English, Beidou reads the titles and nods, they read while they have breakfast.
-Where do you get so many books?
-From the guided tours, I have to go pick up people by bus from Zurich, Winterhur, Zug, from other cities in Switzerland, even from France and Germany. Sometimes I get there early and stop by the bookstores, that's why they are in different languages.
-That's wonderful, I envy you, being able to travel like that must be great.
-It is, but I prefer to be here, there's something in this city that... captivates me and keeps me here.
-I understand you, I thought it was going to be boring but it's not, not at all.
Beidou smiles at her and they continue eating breakfast. When they finish she takes her to two places she thinks might be interesting to photograph, a church and a library. When they get to the church Ningguang have no words, it is disturbing as she expected but also… beautiful, it is abandoned but thanks to tourists and Beidou the place remains intact, Beidou says that they have not restored it but it is kept clean and without plants because the tourists went crazy seeing it so neglected so the guides cleaned it, removed the plants from the walls and it became one of the few buildings that are cared for, but it did not have a priest or assistants, Beidou comes from time to time to pray and clean the dust.
Ningguang is not religious but she feels absolute peace that she stays there standing in silence, after a while she takes photos of the inside of the church and the facade, of the contrast between a well-kept building in the middle of many neglected ones. They go to the library and her heart sinks to her feet, it is amazing, one of the two doors is practically hanging, to the point that it has a space to pass through, it is a medium-sized library, upon entering there are a ton of books and shelves, she doesn't understand any of the titles. Beidou points out some and translates the titles for her, they are classics: Frankenstein, Romeo and Juliet, Pride and Prejudice, among others.
She controls herself from crying, she photographs them and doesn't look at the other girl’s face, it hits like a truck, the realization that she’s there and that there are literary gems abandoned and forgotten in a language that she doesn't know. It’s both beautiful and sad. She takes more pictures and hopes that she can capture the nostalgia and devastation.
On the third day at night they go up to the roof of the hotel with lamps, cameras and pillows, it is almost nightfall and they settle down in the middle of the roof. Everything looks different from here, smaller, more alone, more destroyed. Ningguang captures the dusk with her camera fixed on a tripod for stability, she also captures, only for her, their little corner for dinner, when the light goes out she captures a few more photos while Beiodu turns on the flashlights to illuminate their space, they have dinner there in the roof with an amazing view and talk, they recite poetry in different languages but they understand it, Ningguang writes a couple of lines in her notebook and Beidou stares at the sky, all you can hear is the sounds of the animals, they feel at peace, they go down after a while and Ning returns to her room with more questions than answers.
They spend the next day doing farm chores, Ningguang is curious how Beidou manages to feed herself living in the off-season, she has cows for milk and a bunch of chickens for eggs, she has a vegetable garden and local fruits, Ning helps with the gardening and they laugh all the time, she takes a few photos because she feels that these moments are more theirs, when it comes to fixing up the animals' place she aborts the mission even with Beidou's laughter and she prefers to feed the dogs, Beidou says they are "recovering dogs" they are animals that were left alone and ended up wandering around the country until they got lost. She retrieves them from trips and sometimes finds them in the city completely desperate
Beidou has a space set up for them that protects them from the cold but gives them the freedom to go out whenever they want. Ningguang serves them water and food, and they thank her by licking her hand and following her around the enclosure. She hears a sound and turns around, and discovers that it is Beidou taking a photo of her while she is on the floor petting everyone she can. Beidou looks at Ningguang differently than the first day. She smiles at her and takes her camera back, taking a photo of the puppies and Beidou. Ning knows that after the animals are well, the other girl takes them to associations for adoption and that makes her feel something in her chest, pride. She begins to understand why Beidou likes this place so much.
Seeing that Ningguang is living in a hotel completely alone, she ends up sleeping in Beidou's guest room, with a clearer conscience. This city is a beautiful place but the silence is disturbing. One day Ningguang gets up when the sun comes up to read before going on one of the excursions to the north, she’s sitting on the smallest armchair with a book in English, completely focused, when Beidou arrives, Ning feels her more than she hears her or see her, the other girl stays there looking at Ningguang, she lifts her face from the book and smiles at her.
Ningguang gets up and goes to take a shower while the other makes breakfast, when she’s ready they eat and go out to the north, they find a house with an opening that should be a window but they didn't finish building it, Ning sets up the tripod, and gives the other girl directions and puts herself, for the first time in this city, in front of the camera.
Beidou has fun being behind the camera and Ningguang tries to pose as best she can. They finish the mini session and they stay sitting on the hood of her car, with the silence surrounding them, but it's not a normal and disturbing silence, it's a comfortable one, it indicates that you know the person, there's something in that silence, a "what if?"
Ningguang stays still for a while, trying to read the room, thinking about the small comments the other girl said, thinking about Beidou’s pride flag next to the bookcase, she wonders if she’s watching everything wrong or if this tension is real. Ningguang thinks she has the courage and nothing to lose and after touching the other girl’s hand softly like if she was asking for permission she kisses her, Beidou responds positively, for a moment they share that intimate moment and after getting away without a word they leave the scene, but they don't talk about it, they don't make any movement. They act as if it didn't happen. They blame the silence.
There are a few days left before Ningguang leaves when she convinces Beidou to appear in her photos, the tour guide refuses because she knows she could appear in a photo gallery, because of the scholarship, but after much talking in the end she accepts because Ningguang promises that her face won't appear, it is in the west, in front of a house that is destroyed by time and lack of maintenance, she take a few photos and whenthey are happy with the results Beidou takes her to squares and recreational games to show the abandonment more precisely, when they return to Beidou’s house Ningguang realizes that the time she has spent there has been like a little paradise, being away from everything and everyone, doing what she likes the most. There is signal in a part of the city and almost all the services are enabled near the hotel but it puts a barrier between the everyday world because everyone (except her parents) thinks that she can't talk to anyone.
That night they talked about the future. Ning tells her she'll study photography for two more years and try to keep taking photos until an agency like National Geographic or some other that’s good hires her. Beidou says she wants to build a bigger house, she wants to have an even bigger library and a more spacious home, but more than anything, she wants to keep working and living there. Ningguang smiles, she can imagine the other girl living here until she's old and gray,Ning in a place like Berlin, Brussels or Paris taking beautiful photos until she can't see.
But, they don't talk about love life, just about their ideals. Ningguang doesn't tell her she'd like to get married before she’s 30, that she wants to have two or three children, that she’s still waiting for that special someone. She just let the unspoken words float around us, with that blessed silence filling everything.
They are at the top of a building, there is a wall that is coming loose which gives it a dramatic feel, Ningguang gets annoyed that there’s not more people to pose, so she makes Beidou be her model again, she sits on the edge, looking down, her face is not visible, Ning also take some photos of herself in that position and they finish the sessions.
Tomorrow morning Beidou will take her back to Zurich to take a flight to Madrid and return to her house, she still can't believe that two weeks have already passed, but she learned a lot of things, even about agriculture and hard work.
They gets down the structure and Ning sets up the tripod, Ningguang asks Beidou if they can take a souvenir photo, Ning thinks it will be funny because for the reason of contrast they are both dressed in red, Ning with a dress and sneakers, and Beidou with her red shirt and pants. Ningguang puts the camera on because it has time and lets there be several photos to choose the one she likes the most, by this time her memory is practically full.
They stand next to each other, Beidou puts her hand on Ning’s waist and they smile.
She turns to look at Ningguang and the other girl sees her, and Beidou kisses her, there in the middle of a photo shoot, in the middle of her abandoned city, less than a day away from leaving.
And Ningguang can't stop thinking that she can't do that, that if she falls in love she'll leave everything, but she doesn't want to leave everything without living first. So, instead of a confession or imagining hypothetical situations, Ning laughs nervously as she takes down the camera.
The next day Ningguang doesn't want to wake up, she completely refuses to move from the bed, she doesn't want to move a muscle, or change her breathing, if she does she'll have to leave this little paradise, but she knows she needs to, so she orders herself to do things like shower and get ready, she makes breakfast this time, she make coffee and Beidou wakes up because of the noise, she goes to get ready. Ningguang can't stop thinking about her, the other girl’s laugh, her eyes, her hands in her hair, her lips, the way she talks to her in languages she doesn't know to annoys her, how Beidou sometimes teaches her basic words in Norwegian, how she talks to her about what she likes.
Ningguang drinks coffee while she waits for Beidou, they don't talk about the elephant in the room, that she’s going to leave or what happened yesterday. They talk on the trip, Beidou’s hand on her, it doesn't seem like she'll never see her again, They arrive in Zurich just when there's traffic, they spend about half an hour without being able to move, when they get to the center they can't move again.
"I have an idea," Ningguang says.
"What did you come up with?" Beidou answers.
"Leave the van on and we have to get out."
"Why?"
"Don't you see the difference? It's packed with people!"
Beidou plays along, Ningguang goes out and sets the timer on the camera, it's a huge contrast, there are people everywhere, there are cars everywhere. Beidou seems to get the idea and gets closer to her and I kiss her, Ning’s iidea had been the difference in the background, she seems to understand it. They go back to the van and she shows her the contrast, they - completely alone and they - completely accompanied. They tour for a while and when Ningguang goes to the airport they kiss again, she gets on the plane, with a feeling that she’s not the one doing all these things, sleeping, traveling, packing, but she doesn't want to tell anyone what happened, she want to keep that little love story to herself.
Ningguang calls her months later, when her photos are being exhibited in a gallery. She speaks to her because their photos, the ones of the kiss in Zurich and her city, are the focus of the exhibition. She tells Beidou about her parents’ pride, her school, and herself. She tells her that Ning was going to take those photos down but her parents found them and said they were the best they had seen in a long time. She swears that the most intimate ones (of her house, the rooftop, the animals) are in one of her memory cards. She tells her that she saw them but that everything is quite hidden. Beidou doesn’t get upset, says that she finds it interesting to appear in a Spanish gallery. Ningguang sends her photos of everything, days later, to her post office box in Zurich.
Ningguang knows that Beidou won’t see them for a few weeks but she does it anyway. It’s my way of letting her know that she’s everywhere.