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Duster and Teddy (the faggots) were smoking like a fat fucking joint and being couch potatos at Wess' place. Aka that bum fuck retirement home that lowkey looks like a prison. I mean. Wess IS a thief. Kind of like Brazilian president Lula Inácio Lula da Silva, but who gives a shit, we're in Mother 3. Or Mother 1. What the fuck is the timeline in this fic. Who gives a shit.
Anyways, Duster and Teddy are smoking fat fucking blunts, and they start thinking (rare sight). "Yo... Bro..." Duster says, "Wouldn't it be cool if for like... Our second date and stuff... We went over to your place???"
"Yo... That'd be fire bro... I mean... My house is pretty rad... Radder than this bum... Actually- Why the FUCK are we here????"
"they hit my house with a fucking thunder bolt."
"darn."
"Anyways... You wanna cuddle bro???"
"Sure bro..." Duster says, snuggling up to Teddy's massive body. That motherfucker was built different. I bet like 300 dollars that he used steroids like. 3 times. I think. I'm a pretty unreliable narrator. Isn't that a trope. Who am I kidding- Anyways, time skip, I'm not narrating this stupid gay shit, I wanna get to the car crash.
Teddy wakes up, yawning a little bit but making sure to make his body doesn't move enough to wake up his beloved. Who, may I mention, is drooling over Teddy's absolutely fucking MASSIVE racks. Like. That shit is probably bigger than his MOM'S. Teddy looks at Duster in a little bit of. Confusion, but immediately just bursts out laughing. Because. DUDE. LOOK AT IT.
Duster wakes up, startled by the loud noise, only to like, in his first few seconds of awareness after last night, he came to realize-
He was drooling on his boyfriend's pecs. Fuck dude.
"W- Whuh???" Duster says, his eyes blinking slowly, adjusting himself to the most beautiful view he had ever seen.
His bum fuck boyfriend that is cackling like a madman over him drooling over his chest.
Duster just... Stares at him, his face slowly turning redder and redder.
Teddy is too busy laughing his fucking ass off over this occurence to realize that Duster is just looking at him awestruck.
Even in the dumbest of moments, Duster couldn't really describe it but- Teddy has always had this... "Charm", y'know? This... It's not really beautiful by beauty standards but, it was beautiful for Duster. It was really pretty. He loved Teddy's dorky moments, he loved his cool guy persona, he loved EVERYTHING about that man.
... He loved Teddy. And shit.
Anyways, uh.... fuck how do i write this into the car crash. uhhh.......
timeskip baybe!!!!!!
Duster and Teddy are sitting in Teddy's really fucking awesome and cool car: A green volkswagen beetle that he inherited from his dad. He has better cars, due to him being an ex-gang leader and all of that. But, he just really likes this one, even if it is really shitty and barely fucking operates because this thing is OOOLLLDDDDD.Anyways, Teddy's driving ofc, Duster has never learned how to drive and shit. I think his first and only sighting of a car in his life was probably that one stupid fucking save frog driving around in Tazmily.
sorry for being a shit narrator i lied on the interview
They're just... Chilling and stuff... Duster's face is still red as a tomato due to that embarrassing ass moment that I mentioned earlier (him drooling over Teddy's Teddies ofc) and just because Teddy is like. The epitome of masculine beauty. That mf bad as hell dude. Says Duster.
"... Woah, this is really nice." Duster says, trying to strike a conversation.
"Yeah bro. I like just... Being with you, bro. You're fucking awesome, dude."
"Mhm... That too man..." Duster looks outside the window, trying to hide how flustered he is.
"But err... I think you mean the car, right?? You've never ridden in one of these bad boys before- This shit is cool as FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!"
"Yeah... It's cool. Not as cool as you are though. Heh."
"..." Teddy's face turns like. Pure red. Redder than that stupid fucking tank top of his. Redder than EVE and shit. Y'know, THAT type of red.
"I- Uhm-" Duster looks at Teddy, not expecting him to take the compliment that much- Duster isn't a very flirty man, he often likes to show his care for others with actions and kind gestures, but rarely does he feel the need to say words of appreciation. Maybe that's why Teddy was taken so "off guard" to say the least, by a compliment so simple as "damn dude you cool as shit".
anyways porky was driving on his stupid fucking mech version 80085 or whatever and his stupid ass even though he's like 10 gazillion years of age, nevfer really learned how the fuck to drive. so he crashes into teddy's fucking car and dies.
"TEDDY WATCH OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Duster proclaims, preparing himself for impact.
KAPOOSH!!! POW!!! YIIKESS!!!! OWW!!!!!
Surprisingly, Teddy and Duster come off unscathed from the whole ordeal. Unfortunately, for Porky, that stupid fucking mech of his folded like a fucking omellete and Porky fucking died and shit. Teddy fucking jumps out the car, preparing to give a massive scold to the IDIOT that decided to cross lanes RIGHT when Teddy was about to pass them.
Duster leaves the car along with Teddy while sighing, feeling a little bit responsable for his car getting damaged like this- I mean, Teddy drove him out for THEIR date, if they had decided to go on their date another day- He wouldn't have gotten his car damaged like thi-
IS THAT FUCKING PORKY????????? WHAT THE FUCK?????????????
Duster sees the little shit absolutely fucking DEAD in there. RIP bozo btw- And is just. In a state of shock. Like damn bro. Damn.
Teddy sees the shock in Duster's face, and goes to his direction to see whatever got him in so much sho- PORKY'S FUCKING DEAD?????????
Even though Teddy has never HEARD of this stupid fucking idiot before, he felt such a joy that Duster and Teddy, just went into dance.
They were swaying to the beat, and then, the beat DROPPED and they exploded into their moves, they were doing the whip, the nae nae, Duster and Teddy were bouncing all over the place and hitting the quan too. And then when they looked up, everybody was laughing and cheering them on, saying things like "AY!!!" "OOH!!!!"
porky was buried inside the infamous atari landfill in Alamogordo, New Mexico.
fly low lil bro