Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tsukasa Tenma liked to think of himself as a man of many talents. Sure, he couldn’t remember much of his childhood, but it was fine! He had Wonderlands x Showtime, everyone in SEKAI, and even Toya, sometimes Akito as well, despite how prickly the ginger could be. He had Saki, his beloved sister that was younger than him by a year, and he had his parents. Well, he thought he did anyway. Deep down he felt a sense of discomfort around them, but he could never place what it was, so he ignored it and eventually forgot about it. At the moment, Tsukasa was laying in his bed in his room, the part with only a railing now long since replaced with a wall after he’d requested it to be able to practice his parts more easily without disturbing his family.

Tsukasa’s phone was on, and the boy deeply engaged in a conversation with Rui. “Rui! I thought I said no explosions for the week!”

“ Fu fu fu. I distinctly remember telling you I couldn’t promise anything Tsukasa-kun.” Rui replied, and Tsukasa knew if he could see Rui, he’d have that cat-like smile on his face.

“Ugh, just, you’re not hurt, right?” Tsukasa asked, switching to laying on his stomach, his phone in hand. “It wouldn’t do to have my dear director hurt after all!” 

“Of course I’m not! I took every precaution possible, don’t worry Tsukasa-kun.” Rui replied again, sounding far too amused at the situation.

“That’s good. You had me worried for a minute there.” Tsukasa commented, blindly reaching and grabbing his star plushie. It was usually kept on the couch, but with his parents home for once, Tsukasa had been made to move it to his room so all the seats on the couch would be open. 

“Ah, so you admit you care for me?” Rui asked with a chuckle.

Tsukasa paused, feeling his face heat up, and he knew if he looked in a mirror it would certainly be beet red. “R-RUI! Y-You can’t just-!” Tsukasa paused again, letting go of his star plushie and hiding his face in his hands, Rui full on cackling on the other side of the line, something he usually never did. Tsukasa calmed down after a few moments, waiting for Rui to calm down as well. “You know I care for you. You’re my director, and it wouldn’t make very much sense if I didn’t, now would it?”

“I suppose you’re right on that.” Rui replied, the sound over the phone indicating he was working on one of his robots as he talked. “I still want to send you to space someday though.”

“You are not designing a cannon to send me that high no matter how many times you ask!” Tsukasa shrieked, just the thought of Rui doing something so insane resonating with him in a way that spelled nothing but trouble, especially since regular cannon stunts like that could be precarious anyway.

“So you don’t trust me? Yo yo yo, I thought I’d long proved you could by now Tsukasa-kun~” Rui fake cried, Tsukasa able to hear the crocodile tears, unable to keep a smile from appearing on his face.

“We can do regular cannon stunts, but you’re still not sending me that high.” Tsukasa answered. “That’s more Miku’s thing anyway.”

“Hmm… You do have a point. Seeing KAITO yelling at MEIKO for that was pretty funny.” Rui chuckled, remembering that day quite vividly. Miku had been excited enough when she landed to ask to do that again, only to get shot down by a rather frazzled KAITO.

Tsukasa chuckled as well, remembering just as well how that incident had gone down, and how SEKAI’s cannon had been hidden for a while after that. “Poor KAITO looked like he was going to combust after Miku landed once he was done chewing MEIKO out.”

“He did indeed. Rin and Len ended up sending him off to go take a break while the others took care of things so he’d stop freaking out.”

“You know, I’ve always wondered who influenced KAITO coming into SEKAI.”

Rui paused, surprised by Tsukasa’s sudden conversational turn. “I’m sure whoever did, it was for good reason. He’s helped us many times, even though he won’t let me see how the plushies move and speak.”

“He has good reasons for that!” Tsukasa protested. “Knowing you, you’d just take them apart and not put them back together!”

“Fu fu fu, Tsukasa-kun’s caught me.” Rui admitted. “A habit following my many prototypes.”

“And that’s exactly why neither one of us will let you find out how they move and speak.” Tsukasa retorted.

“Alright, alright, I’ll leave it be for now.” Rui replied with a chuckle. “Aren’t your parents home though?”

Tsukasa frowned, caught off guard but shaking it off. “Yes, but they have no need of me for now, so I still have some free time.” Rui’s question had sent a shudder through Tsukasa’s very being, one that he was slightly struggling to shake off. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s just rare for you to be on here when they’re home isn’t it?” Rui asked, soldering a wire.

“Well… I suppose you do have a point, but as a future star, I need to keep up on my acting!” Tsukasa replied, but refraining from striking a pose since it’d only end up with him falling off of his bed.

“As energetic as ever I see. Fu fu fu, never change Tsukasa-kun.”

Tsukasa went to respond, but something in Rui’s statement sounded wrong to him. Never change…? What does he mean by that…?

I left behind my “reason to live spell there”,

I want you to chase after this life, following the short yet long seasons.

Chapter Text

Tsukasa was ripped out of his musings by the sound of his mother calling him to dinner. “Oops, sorry Rui! I have to go. I’m being called to dinner.”

“That’s alright. I’ll see you tomorrow at practice?”

“Of course! Make sure you eat too, alright?” Tsukasa responded, hanging up once he got confirmation from Rui that he’d eat. Tsukasa stood up from his bed, stretching and pocketing his phone before walking over to his mirror. He fixed the wrinkles in his outfit and redid his hair so it’d be neat again, then made his way downstairs, sitting at the table.

“Oh, Tsukasa, you’re here!” Saki commented upon seeing her brother. “I didn’t hear you come home earlier!”

“Were you composing again?” Tsukasa asked.

“Well… yes.” Saki replied. “Maybe that’s why I didn’t hear you.”

Tsukasa nodded as he served himself, noticing the meal was ginger fried pork, turning to his parents. “Ginger fried pork? Not that I don’t appreciate this, but what’s the occasion?”

“Well,” Tsukasa’s mother began, “it’s been so long since your father and I were home, we decided to make dinner a little celebration. After all, we only have a couple of days and then we have to fly out to Europe this time.”

“Europe?” Tsukasa asked.

“Yes.” Tsukasa’s father replied, noticing his and Saki’s curious looks. “My lab is setting up an outpost in Europe, and wants me to be there, while your mother is set to give a series of conferences on the importance of research for terminal illnesses.”

“Really?!” Saki asked, oblivious to Tsukasa’s internal conflict. “That sounds so cool!”

“Now, now.” Tsukasa’s father said with a laugh. “We can discuss it more later. For now, you need to eat.”

“Ah, right! Sorry dad!” Saki apologized, going back to eating.

Tsukasa went back to eating as well, hiding a frown. Only two days with them…? I was hoping to invite them to our next show… Not to mention, I was hoping Toya could see them again. Wait, am I feeling… jealous? Disappointed? What am I feeling? Whatever this is, a future star shouldn’t feel this way about his parents! I should just calm down and eat. There’s no issue. I know they’re working so hard so Saki can live the life she wants to now that she’s out of the hospital.

Tsukasa looked up from his half finished plate, noticing the paper his father held. “What do you have there, dad?”

“I have your latest physics test. It was laying on the coffee table.” Tsukasa’s father explained, frowning. “I’m very disappointed in your score.”

Tsukasa winced, having not expected his test to be brought up. “My apologies. I know it’s not befitting of a future star such as myself. It’s just… physics isn’t my best subject.”

“You are the son of a scientist and a medical biologist.” Tsukasa’s father admonished. “You should have physics as your best subject.”

Tsukasa winced again. “If it helps, Rui, Toya, and Akiyama said they’d help me and a few others we know study for the next upcoming round of exams.”

Tsukasa’s mother sighed, joining the conversation. “Well, I expect to see results. Acting won’t get you places forever, Tsukasa. You need to keep a good education and good grades in case it doesn’t work out.”

“I understand, mom. I’ll do my best.” Tsukasa replied, pushing down the feelings he couldn’t understand and giving a small, gentle smile instead. 

“That’s all we ask.” Tsukasa’s mother replied. “Now, finish your dinner. It’ll get cold at this rate.”

“Ah, you’re right!” Tsukasa replied, panicking slightly at having to eat cold food, quickly moving to continue eating. He excused himself when he was done, taking his physics test with him and returning to his room, sitting at his desk, staring at the big, red, forty five on his test.

I studied so hard though… I really did… Why can’t they see that…? Tsukasa groaned, stuffing the physics test in his desk drawer, closing it a little harder than he meant to. I can’t be mad though, can I?! Mom and dad only want what’s best for me, and it’s unbecoming of a future star to get angry at anyone. I just… I wish they cared… I wish someone would see me for me, not the expectations placed upon me.

Tsukasa froze at the last thought. Expectations? Those aren’t expectations. I’m being who I am. Where did that thought come from? Tsukasa set his arms on his desk, then laid his head down on them, pondering the direction his thoughts were going in before sitting up, grabbing his phone. Maybe I should ask KAITO for some advice.

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When the light dissipated, Tsukasa found himself standing near the main tent in Wonderland SEKAI, looking around to try to find KAITO. When he didn’t see the Vocaloid anywhere outside, he entered the tent, perking up when he saw KAITO on the stage. “KAITO!” Tsukasa called, watching the other jump slightly from his position, internally apologetic for startling him as he walked over to the stage, sitting on the edge.

“Tsukasa, you startled me.” KAITO replied, moving to sit down at the edge of the stage as well. “What are you doing here so late?” KAITO paused after he asked his question, noticing the turmoil on Tsukasa’s face. “Did something happen?”

“I don’t know, maybe?” Tsukasa replied with a shrug. “I really can’t tell. My parents are back for a couple of days before they head out to Europe.”

“Your parents are back? That’s wonderful!” KAITO enthusiastically replied.

“It should be, but something’s not sitting right with me.” Tsukasa replied. “They made ginger fried pork to celebrate the occasion even, but when I heard there was only a couple days that they’d be here, and I wouldn’t be able to invite them to our next show, I got… I don’t know actually.”

“You don’t know?” KAITO asked, eyebrow raised, confused. “So, you’re having trouble figuring out your emotions then?”

Tsukasa nodded. “I know it’s not anger. It’s unbecoming of a future star like me to be angry at his parents, after all. And it’s not sadness either, because I wasn’t crying, so I don’t know what it is. Just the thought of them leaving so quickly again to make sure Saki can live the life she wants now that she’s out of the hospital doesn’t sit right with me.”

KAITO frowned upon hearing Tsukasa automatically deny what he was feeling was anger. Hm… He has every right to be angry with his parents, but he doesn’t want to accept that right now. He also doesn’t seem to think he’s sad since he never cried, but just because you don’t cry doesn’t mean you’re not sad. Jealousy could be a factor, but if I bring it up…

“KAITO?”

KAITO jumped, jolted out of his thoughts. “Ah, sorry Tsukasa. I was thinking.”

“What were you thinking about?” Tsukasa asked, shifting his position so he could rest his head on his knees.

“Well, you say what you’re feeling isn’t anger nor sadness, so could it potentially be jealousy?” KAITO asked, watching Tsukasa carefully to see what the boy’s reaction would be.

Tsukasa’s eyes widened, the thought of him being jealous sending an ugly shiver down his spine, and he had to fight back the urge to physically shiver. “Jealousy? No, I don’t think so. It’d be unbecoming of me as a future star to be jealous of my own sister. Besides, she’s had it rough for most of her life, and I’m glad she can live her life to the fullest these days. So I understand why my parents have to work so hard even now that the medical bills are almost fully paid off.”

“Does understanding have to equate to liking the situation though?” KAITO proposed, readjusting his position as well so he was more comfortable, though he refrained from leaning against Tsukasa since the latter hadn’t asked for any sort of physical contact.

“Well… no, but there’s no dislike to it.” Tsukasa replied. “I help make Saki happy, and our parents take care of the bills and make sure she can have a good life. It’s my duty as her older brother.”

KAITO sighed, looking just as worn out as he felt inside. If this continued, he was afraid it’d spiral into a bad day for him, but there was nothing he could do about his own emotions, so he shoved them aside for the time being. “Even though it is your duty as the eldest child, you shouldn’t let it consume you.” He explained, hoping the point would reach Tsukasa.

“What do you mean by that?” Tsukasa asked, confused. “I don’t think I’m letting it consume me.”

“You may not be now,” KAITO began, “but the moment you let it dictate every single thing you do, you’ll become nothing more than your duty. Do you really want that to happen?”

“Well, no…”

“Then you need to figure out where the line begins and ends, and make sure you don’t cross it.” KAITO replied. “I’m unsure what emotions you’re feeling since you say it’s not anger, sadness, or jealousy, but what I can tell you is to make sure your duty as an older brother doesn’t become everything you live for, or you could very well lose yourself.”

“I’ll keep what you say in mind.” Tsukasa replied. “Thank you, KAITO. I should be getting back now before it gets too late.”

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Long after Tsukasa had left, KAITO was still sitting on the edge of the stage, legs pulled up to his chest and head resting on his knees, staring blankly at the ground. The entire conversation plus the day itself had left him entirely drained, and he had no more energy to spare, not even to hide how he was feeling from the other Vocaloids or the plushies, though he hoped he could at least hide it from the twins. They didn’t need to see this side of him.

He watched as Luka approached the stage, being awake for once, but didn’t react past a brief flick of his eyes in her direction to acknowledge that he’d seen her.

Luka frowned upon seeing KAITO’s state, that troubled feeling in her chest keeping her awake doubling as she went and sat on the stage beside him, leaning against him. “Rough day…?” She asked, keeping her voice low.

KAITO glanced over, then gave a barely visible, noncommittal shrug.

“It’s alright.” Luka replied. “I saw Tsukasa leaving. Did something happen with him or was it more than that?”

KAITO frowned, barely mustering the energy to speak. “Tsukasa couldn’t figure out his emotions and denied every suggestion I posed as to what they could be, saying it was unbefitting of a future star to feel that way. I guess managing the plushies today was just… a lot too.”

“Oh… KAITO…” Luka murmured, a forlorn expression on her face. “It’ll be alright. Do you want to rest for now?”

“But… the show prep…”

“The show prep can wait until later.” Luka said firmly. “You’re in no shape to be doing that right now without risking a potential accident.”

KAITO went to argue, but upon realizing Luka was right, relaxed instead, slumping against her, already beginning to feel sleep pull at him.

Luka relaxed as well, yawning and quickly drifting off to sleep.

KAITO sat still slumped against Luka, listening to her breathing even as his eyes slipped shut of their own accord, yawning. Before he succumbed to sleep, he noticed the warmth surrounding him, but before he could even string together a thought about it, he drifted off.

My body heat has risen once again

From searching for change in something that’s dead

I can’t get rid of it even though I tried

So I make this soliloquy I pitifully write

Chapter Text

“Shh! You’ll wake him up!”

What…?

“He looks so comfortable though!”

“Fu fu, that he does.”

Luka?

“There’s probably a reason he fell asleep on stage, especially since Luka’s awake.”

“You mean, he didn’t just choose to sleep there?”

Miku…? MEIKO…?

“Luka?”

“He… had a rough day yesterday. If he didn’t, he would’ve gone to sleep in his room.”

“Oh… Oh KAITO…”

Why are they talking…?

“We need to keep the twins away. Miku, can you go ask them to help with the plushies?”

“On it!” The sound of rapid footsteps followed this declaration.

What’s going on…?

“I’m going to take him to his room. Can you keep an eye out in case any of the kids arrive?”

“ Yawn… Of course, MEIKO.”

“Great. Once they arrive, you can go back to sleep if you want.”

The… kids…? Tsukasa…?

KAITO whined when he came to semi awareness when he was picked up, something he normally never did, but he had no spoons left to give at this point, and even on the hard stage floor, he’d been comfortable.

MEIKO sighed when she noticed KAITO wake up, stopping her walk to the hidden rooms backstage and adjusting KAITO so he’d be more comfortable. “It’s okay. You can go back to sleep.”

“MEIKO…?” KAITO asked, blinking blearily up at her from the bridal carry he found himself in, though his voice and expression were still empty, his eyes still dull both from the emptiness inside and being woken up from his slumber. “What…?”

“We went to start practice and found you and Luka sleeping on the stage.” MEIKO replied. “Rin and Len hadn’t arrived yet when we found you two. I suppose that’s a small blessing considering the state you’re in.” MEIKO resumed her walk as she talked, trying to keep how much KAITO was jostled to a minimum. “We woke Luka up and explained what happened, so we decided to let you rest. Miku’s distracting the twins.”

KAITO didn’t reply for a few moments, the gentleness of the walk between the pace and MEIKO’s hold lulling him back to sleep. When he came to again, MEIKO had him closer to the bedrooms, and he could finally register MEIKO’s previous statement. “I have show prep to do though.” He retorted, none of his usual energy behind it.

“Miku and I can handle it. KAITO, I don’t know why you get like this, but you’re clearly not okay, nor are you in any shape to be doing much of anything right now.” MEIKO replied, resuming her journey once again. “You may be the leader of the troupe, but you’re only 18.”

“We’re both only 18.” KAITO muttered in protest.

“That may be so,” MEIKO began, nudging open the door to KAITO’s room, “but with Luka being how she is, even though she’s 20, you and I are the most fit for leading and assisting the troupe. And yes, Miku may only be 16, but she’s at a good age to start learning how to help with some of the more leader reliant behind the scenes things.” MEIKO looked around KAITO’s room, noticing how messy it had become. The bed was a simple twin sized bed stuck in the corner, with KAITO’s closet shoved right beside it, his dresser off to the other side of the room. His desk was shoved against one of the walls, and script papers were not only on the desk but also spilling onto the floor, some of his office supplies spilled onto the floor as well. The walls were a nice dark blue, and the star lights above his bed gave the room a soft yellow glow.

MEIKO walked over to KAITO’s bed, setting the man down on it and picking up KAITO’s comforter off the floor, laying it over KAITO. “Now, you just rest here and come out when you’re ready, alright?”

KAITO frowned, the thought of MEIKO leaving not sitting right with him, and he was trying to work on communicating his personal wants, so he spoke up. “Can you stay? At least until I fall asleep?”

“Oh KAITO… Of course I can.” MEIKO replied, moving to kneel beside KAITO’s bed, carding her hand through the man’s hair in a soothing manner. “You really should’ve changed into sleep clothes, but that can be dealt with some other time.”

KAITO didn’t react to MEIKO’s comment, closing his eyes with a sigh, warmth spreading through him at the relaxing action of his hair being carded through, the sensation pleasant against his scalp. It wasn’t long before he drifted off, content at the warmth he was feeling.

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“We should have vampires! Gay vampires specifically.”

“Emu-chan we already used gay vampires.” Tsukasa reminded the pink haired girl. The troupe was gathered on the stage in the main show tent in Wonderland SEKAI, making last minute adjustments to the play before they would start their dress rehearsals.

“Besides, we wouldn’t be able to have everything down in time if we made such a drastic change.” Nene reminded. “But if you want vampires, why don’t we add bats to the cave scene. Rui, how fast can you add them?”

“If it’s only a few, I can have them all ready within a couple of days, Nene-chan.” Rui replied, marking down the suggestion on his copy of the script. “It would definitely add to the environmental factor. What do you think, Tsukasa-kun?”

“I think adding bats is perfect!” Tsukasa replied. “A wonderful addition befitting a star troupe such as ourselves!”

“And if they appear out of nowhere, we can make the audience go bwah!” Emu gleefully exclaimed.

“Make the audience go bwah…?” Tsukasa questioned, confused. “Well… it certainly could startle the audience a little, if that’s what you’re meaning.”

“Yep yep! It could make things feel more immersive for the audience!”

Tsukasa laughed, the excitement of show prep having completely shoved aside his emotional turmoil for the time being.

“Well, I think that’s everything. We should start- KAITO?”

KAITO stumbled into view, his hair completely ruffled from bedhead and his outfit equally as wrinkled, the man plopping down on the stage, yawning. He’d slept for a few more hours, long enough for the troupe to be out of school for the day, and he still felt drained. His eyes were clouded with sleep, but he still glanced over at the group anyway.

Rui and Nene noticed KAITO’s demeanor, shuddering when they ended up on the receiving end of his blank stare, the duo each having their own reasons for doing so.

“Is he…?”

“Middle school you? Yes, he is, Rui.” Nene replied, knowing Rui didn’t like being reminded of his middle school days all that well, especially seeing it reflected in other people. “He… I’ve never seen him like this before.”

“He usually hides it.”

Emu shrieked, the group whirling around to see MEIKO approaching from the entrance to the tent. “That’s why you haven’t seen.”

“M-MEIKO! Warn us next time!” Tsukasa shouted with a wheeze, just as startled as Emu had been.

“Oops. My apologies. I’m just… concerned.” MEIKO replied. “This is the first time a bad day has carried over to the next day like this.”

“So… this is normal for him?” Emu asked.

“It is.” MEIKO confirmed. “Nene, what were you saying about middle school Rui and KAITO?”

“Well…” Nene began, “back in middle school, from what I’ve seen and heard, Rui had lost a lot of his light. You could even say he was depressed. The way KAITO acts, it… reminds me of that time.”

“You’re saying KAITO’s depressed?” Tsukasa asked. “I didn’t think Vocaloids could get depressed.”

Rui sighed, his gaze distant. “Vocaloids… They seem to be able to feel emotions just like the rest of us. KAITO, he’s, well… I have to agree with Nene-chan. It’s a classic case of depression, even though I’m not a professional.”

“Rui…?”

“The emptiness inside, the cold, no spoons to give… And you’re lonely. So… so lonely. You think you don’t have anyone. You think you don’t need anyone. And it’s so dark… so cold…”

“Rui?”

“And you know no one’s ever going to come and save you, pull you out from the darkness into the light, but you hope for it. God how you hope for it, only to have your hopes dashed time and time again.”

“...Rui…”

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Stupid Rui Kamishiro.

Dangerous Rui Kamishiro.

Lunatic Rui Kamishiro.

Those were the words Rui heard every day as he walked the halls of his junior high school, and today was no exception. He hadn’t even done anything except bring a glitter popper to school, but it hadn’t worked right and all that he’d gotten for his trouble was a half treated burn and snickers and being shoved around as he made his way to his next class from the nurse’s office.

Rui turned into his classroom, blankly running on autopilot, making his way to his desk. However, what he saw made him pause, completely taking him off guard. There, sitting innocently on his desk, was a clear vase, a red spider lily sitting inside. ‘A-A spider lily?’ He looked around the room, the teacher not yet there, but it was like he was seeing things from far away. The others? They clearly couldn’t be laughing at him, right? Those paper balls, they weren’t being thrown at him, right? The spider lily wasn’t meant for him, right? Right? Rui gave a broken chuckle, tears filling his eyes before he turned tail and ran, making his way to the rooftop out of instinct.

Rui sat in his usual spot, not even bothering to check if anyone was there. He didn’t have any spoons to give, once again beginning to feel the fog swallowing him whole, and the chains keeping his voice locked up. He wasn’t sure how long he sat like that for. The fog and chains had too tight of a grip on him, and he didn’t want them to let go. Not even the sound of the bell was enough to break him out of it. He didn’t even react when footsteps approached and a pink, short haired blob appeared in his vision.

Mizuki frowned when she saw the state Rui was in. She’d had a bad day herself, but she heard about the spider lily incident and knew she had to get Rui as soon as possible, glad she wasn’t finding him trying to climb the fence at the very least. She knew her expression and voice were as broken as Rui’s, but at least she hadn’t been pushed into dissociation. Mizuki sat down beside Rui, leaning against him, hoping Rui would eventually notice.

Rui blankly stared ahead as the person, was that a person? Rui didn’t know, staring blankly ahead of him as the blob moved to his side, feeling the pressure against him as it leaned against him, the pressure at least a little grounding. 

“You know, I didn’t think they’d go that far. But, why am I surprised?” A self deprecating chuckle, a voice as broken as Rui’s own, as dull as Rui’s own when he could manage to get himself to speak. “And yet here we are. Heh, I don’t even know if you can hear me yet. Ah, but I suppose it doesn’t matter. At least you’re not dead, even with that burn on your arm. I heard how the nurse only half treated it. I have some things in my bag. Let me get them.”

Rui didn’t react, couldn’t even, even when the pressure left. Even as he heard rummaging around, and even as he felt the pressure return, taking his arm (was that his arm even?) and cradling it like Rui Kamishiro deserved kindness. He only reacted when he felt stinging, a barely audible, grumbled protest coming from him as he weakly tried to tug away.

Mizuki only tightened her grip, silently apologizing as she finished applying the burn cream, properly bandaging Rui’s arm before releasing it. “Sigh… we need to stop doing this.”

Rui shifted his gaze to Mizuki, then to his arm, then back down to the ground. If he could speak, he would’ve commented, but he couldn’t speak, so he simply let the fog carry him away into oblivion, trusting Mizuki to keep him safe.

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“Rui!”

Rui jolted, looking up to find himself sitting in one of the audience seats, directly across from KAITO, who looked shaken even despite the numbness currently consuming the latter. He wanted to respond, but…

“Rui…?”

“I don’t think he can speak right now, idiot Tsukasa.” Nene. That was Nene. And from the sound of things, she was middle schoolish too.

“H-Hey!” Tsukasa protested, even though first KAITO’s episode and now Rui’s dissociation was striking an odd chord within him, as if he was on the edge of a pit full of despair.

“Tsukasa-kun, Nene-chan, calm down!” Ah, that was Emu, and she sounded worried. Rui never wanted to worry her, never wanted the others to know, but it seemed like with KAITO’s depression being revealed, something likely influenced by Rui himself, that wasn’t possible anymore.

“I think everyone needs to relax for a moment and take a breather.” MEIKO commented, looking and sounding as worried as everyone else. “KAITO’s bad day will pass, and Rui’s back in the present, so freaking out won’t help us.”

“But Rui can’t speak!” Tsukasa shouted, standing up to pace. “He can’t speak and it’s because of whatever just happened to him! How can you expect me to calm down when I’m faced with that?!”

“Tsukasa.”

Tsukasa paused, surprised at how cold Nene’s voice sounded.

“Like MEIKO said, calm down. I know you’re worried but… we don’t need three of us dissociating or working themselves into a panic attack in one day.”

“N-Nene-chan’s right.” Emu stuttered, unsure how to handle the situation, but trying her best. “Rui’s back with us, KAITO’s… um… well… MEIKO?”

MEIKO sighed. “He very nearly went into a panic attack when he saw himself reflected in Rui, but he’s as good as he’s gonna get for now. These two… they need help. Help I’m unsure how to give. I didn’t even know what depression was until it was explained to us what exactly KAITO’s behavior means.”

“You’re not suggesting therapy, are you?” Tsukasa asked, something off in his voice.

“If that’ll help, then yes.” MEIKO replied. “And with how much you freaked out, maybe you need some too.”

“Me?” Tsukasa questioned. “There’s nothing wrong! I’m perfectly fine!”

“Tsukasa-kun…” Emu muttered.

“Clearly you’re not.” Nene snapped. “Perhaps I could even say you’re middle schoolish too.”

“Me?! I just said I was fine!” Tsukasa could feel the heat rising into his head, clouding his logical thoughts, but he didn’t care, the situation far too emotional for him to care. “If anything you’re the one that’s not fine!”

“Maybe I’m not, but at least I can acknowledge it!” Nene shouted, standing up.

“G-Guys!” Emu cried. “Don’t fight! R-Rui-kun, help!”

Rui shook his head, giving Emu a pitiful look. He still couldn’t speak, so anything he did wouldn’t be noticed at all, the chains too tight around his throat.

“I’m telling you Nene, I’m acknowledging it and there’s nothing wrong!” Tsukasa shouted back, venom in his voice.

Nene shouted back, equally as venomous. “Well maybe there is! You seemed awfully down when you mentioned your parents wouldn’t come!”

Tsukasa paused, left reeling for a few moments until the rage rose, his vision going red. “Don’t bring them into this! They’re doing everything they can to finish paying the medical bills and ensure Saki can live a good life! Everything’s fine, and there’s always the next show!”

“Well clearly something’s wrong!” Nene screamed, shoving Tsukasa, shocking the rest of the group, minus Tsukasa, with the fact she was resorting to physical violence. She was very clearly stuck in middle school at this point, and yet Rui couldn’t say a word. 

“I said I’m fine! Now leave me alone!” Tsukasa shoved Nene back, and before anyone could say a word, he stormed off, disappearing in a burst of glitter and music notes as soon as he exited the tent.

We are hated by life itself.

Pushing values and ego, as always, so very simply we broadcast songs about wanting to kill someone else over radio waves.

We are hated by life itself.

We who thoughtlessly say we want to die

And look at life thoughtlessly, are hated by it.

We are hated by life itself.

Without even grasping the meaning of joy, we just hate the hand life has dealt us and merely curse our pasts.

We are hated by life itself.

We who simply like the idea of the word “goodbye” a little too much, with no knowledge of a true farewell, are hated by life itself.

Hated by life itself. In the end, we’ll die anyway

You will, I will, one day all of us will rot away like fallen leaves

But regardless, we live on frantically– Shouldering our lives, frantically we live–

Killing, struggling, laughing, shouldering it all; living, living, living, living– just live.

Chapter Text

“I’m going too…” Nene muttered after everyone had snapped out of the shock of the argument, pulling out her phone and switching to The World Hasn’t Even Started Yet.

“Nene-chan! Wait!” Emu cried, but Nene didn’t listen, and the group could only watch as the girl disappeared in a shower of glitter and music notes.

Rui watched helplessly as Nene left, tears building in the corners of his eyes, though he quickly wiped them away, wishing he had the strength to say something, say anything, but his voice was still locked behind those ever familiar and oh so hated chains of middle school.

“MEIKO! KAITO! I heard shouting! What happened- oh…” Miku came to a stop in the tent as she surveyed the group, ears and tail drooping as she took in the group’s state. “Where’s Nene-chan and Tsukasa-kun?”

“They left.” MEIKO replied. “They got into a pretty heated argument and left.”

“They fought?! Why?!”

KAITO let out a bitter chuckle, harshly gripping the legs of his pants. “They left because of me.”

“No, KAITO-oniisan, don’t say that!” Emu cried, hugging KAITO. “It’s not your fault! You can’t help feeling womp womp, and they shouldn’t have fought over that!”

“Emu’s right.” MEIKO replied. “We literally just learned you’re sick, in a way. They shouldn’t have fought over that. Something’s clearly bothering Tsukasa related to that topic.”

“I appreciate the sentiment but… I can’t get myself to believe you.” KAITO replied.

“What even was revealed anyway?” Miku asked, confused, looking to Rui for answers.

Rui opened his mouth to try to force words out, but all he got out was a strangled, choked noise, so he closed his mouth again, instead typing out what he wanted to say on his notes app. “KAITO came out from backstage looking terrible, and we were already here. He plopped down on stage instead of helping us, and Nene-chan and I could tell he looked… well, like middle school us, as much as I hate remembering that time of our lives. Nene-chan deduced that KAITO was depressed, and Tsukasa-kun seemed confused, because he didn’t think that Vocaloids could get depressed. I started answering and… well… I don’t remember what happened after until suddenly I found myself in one of the audience seats.”

“Nene said you dissociated.” MEIKO replied after the group had read what Rui wrote. “It… It was bad…”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“R-Rui!”

“Why isn’t he answering us?!”

“He’s not here anymore…”

“Huh, Nene, what do you mean he’s not here anymore?” MEIKO asked, concerned, effectively shutting the rest of the group up with her question.

“He’s effectively somewhere else. I heard from Akiyama that this happened to him sometimes when they were on the rooftop. If anything extremely bad happened, he would disconnect from the situation. His body may’ve still responded, but his mind didn’t. It’s called dissociation, and it literally means disconnecting from the situation to avoid it. His body’s still here, but his mind? Who knows where it’s at. It could be in very dangerous territory and we have no way of knowing until he comes back to the present.”

“S-So, he’s just… gone…?” KAITO asked, voice sounding oddly small.

“He’ll come back after a while, but I don’t know how long it’ll take. Akiyama was always better at grounding Rui because Akiyama usually found him on the rooftop since he’d always run there. Rui and I… we’d lost contact during that time, so we didn’t talk as much. One day Akiyama asked Rui about it, and Rui said it was like a fog that swallowed him whole and carried him away so he didn’t have to deal with the situation. Only issue is, Rui can recognize that he’s dissociated, as long as it wasn’t a bad episode, but he can never recognize when one starts.”

“So, what do we do to help him?” Tsukasa asked, helping keep Rui steady so he didn’t topple over.

“Let’s get him sitting down at least.” Nene replied, pointing to the audience seats. “That way he doesn’t get hurt by falling.”

Tsukasa nodded, gently tugging Rui’s hand to guide him over to one of the seats, shuddering at being on the receiving end of such a lightless, blank stare after he got the taller boy sat down.

“What do we do now?” MEIKO asked.

“All we can do is wait.” Nene replied. “I’ve texted Akiyama, but it could be a while before she answers.”

“H-He’s like this because he discussed how I feel…” KAITO muttered, breath hitching as he tried not to panic.

“Oh KAITO… KAITO no…” MEIKO replied, going over to KAITO and rubbing his back to help him calm down. “From the sound of things, Rui just has some trauma that flared up. It’s not your fault.”

“I remind him of his trauma though!” KAITO cried, breath hitching again.

“Maybe you did this time, but it’s not your fault.” MEIKO said again. “Trauma is a finicky thing. We know Rui has issues with parts of himself. It stands to reason that he has trauma as well, especially if he hasn’t been treated well in the past.”

“MEIKO-onee-chan’s right.” Emu commented, uncharacteristically serious. “Rui-kun… You saw how he got after our first Halloween show after the accident. He needs help. I can feel it. But he doesn’t want to worry us, so it’s almost like he buries it away.”

“I thought he got over the Halloween show incident though!” Tsukasa snapped. “We made up and everything!”

“He may have gotten over that incident, Tsukasa, but that doesn’t mean he’s gotten over the rest of his life.” Nene replied, checking her phone. “Akiyama said to try a weighted blanket. MEIKO, do you have any?”

“I can check.” MEIKO replied, rushing off backstage. She returned a few minutes later with a dark blue weighted blanket. “I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed this, KAITO.”

KAITO gave a noncommittal shrug, still working on pulling himself together as much as he could. “I don’t mind.”

MEIKO frowned, not liking how dull KAITO sounded, but she couldn’t do anything about it, so she simply laid the blanket over Rui, arranging it so he’d be comfortable, unnerved at how blank his stare was, as if he was looking right through her, and perhaps, maybe he was, if what Nene said was accurate. “Now what do we do?”

“There’s nothing we can do but wait for him to come back.” Nene replied. “That’s all we can do when he gets like this.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rui looked down after MEIKO finished talking, finally noticing the blanket on the floor, picking it back up and walking over to KAITO, sitting down beside him and wrapping the blanket around the two of them, leaning against the man before he resumed typing. “I see… Tsukasa-kun… Nene-chan…”

“Before you even start, it’s not your fault, Rui.” MEIKO commented. “You can’t control having trauma, nor can you control how Tsukasa reacted. What you can control is making sure you don’t spiral.”

Rui’s eyes widened, surprised MEIKO had been able to figure out what he was thinking. “Ah… right… I’ll… work on believing that. Anyway, from what I can gather before… that happened… KAITO’s depression was revealed. After that whole incident… Tsukasa-kun got upset. When it was suggested that he get therapy himself with how heavily he reacted to the whole thing, that’s when he exploded.”

Miku stayed quiet for a few moments, processing the information. “So much happened in so little time… And Tsukasa-kun… I don’t think I’ve ever heard of him reacting that way before.”

“None of us have.” MEIKO replied. “So clearly, there’s something he doesn’t want to tell us.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a few days before Wonderlands x Showtime saw each other again. After the fight, practice had been canceled for a few days to give Tsukasa, Nene, and Rui time to calm down. Now, the group was sitting awkwardly on Wonder Stage. Rui couldn’t feel the chains on his throat anymore, but he wasn’t willing to break the awkward atmosphere, so he stayed quiet. This feels… So much like back then… Was my happy ending not permanent after all…?

“Tsukasa-kun, are you feeling any better?” Emu asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

“I’m fine.” Tsukasa curtly replied, though he kept up the smile of his star persona. “The other day was just a small mishap that I won’t allow to happen again.”

Nene looked like she wanted to say something, but kept her mouth shut, not wanting to start another fight, picking a different topic instead. “MEIKO said KAITO’s back to his usual self now. Learning that there’s a reason for his bad days seems to have helped him accept what happened.”

“That’s… good.” Rui quietly replied, pulling his copy of the script out of his bag. “We uh, only have a couple more days until the show, so maybe we should start practice.”

Practice was an ordeal to say the least, Rui thought. Emu and Nene seemed to be doing just fine interacting with each other, but he couldn’t seem to click with Tsukasa as well as he usually did. “Tsukasa-kun, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Tsukasa held back a sigh, not wanting Rui to see he was bothered. “What is it, Rui?”

Rui sighed. “I just noticed you and I weren’t meshing as well as we normally do today. Listen, if it’s about the other day, I don’t hold it against you, especially since I can’t remember anything from… my episode… but we need to be able to put on a good performance.”

“And we will.” Tsukasa replied. “Look, the situation just caught me off guard is all, but I’m fine now.”

“Are you sure that’s all that happened?” Rui asked. “You got oddly reactive when therapy was mentioned.”

Tsukasa sighed as well, looking down at the ground. “Look, it just reminds me of all the therapies Saki needed, that’s all. I’m fine now.”

“I know she needed several kinds, but is that all?” Rui asked.

“What do you mean by that?” Tsukasa asked, sounding oddly defensive.

“Just… call it a director’s intuition if you will.” Rui replied. “You’re my star, and I’m your director. I’m going to notice things like this.”

“Ugh, I’m fine. Goodbye, Rui. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Rui could only watch as Tsukasa turned and walked off, unsettled by the interaction. Just what is going on inside your head, Tsukasa-kun?

Hey, let’s cross the end of all of this, partying forever

Hey! Spinning on a never-ending merry-go-round

Hey! This world hasn’t even started yet

Hey! A birthday lasting every second and minute

Hey! In the depths of Hell, a happy ending plays out

Hey! This world hasn’t even started yet

Hey! A firework show that lasts a lifespan

Hey! A roller coaster that spans the starry skies

Hey! This world hasn’t even started yet

Hey! The best of the worst of crappy plays

Hey! A flag that’ll paint over a bad ending

Hey! This world hasn’t even started yet

Hey! Let’s cross the end of all of this, partying forever

Hey! Spinning on a never-ending merry-go-round

Hey! This world hasn’t even started yet

Hey! Let’s break the plans for a harmonious future

Hey! Ring the bell that marks a new life

Hey! This world hasn’t even…

It hasn’t even started yet

Chapter Text

The day of the show arrived too quickly in Tsukasa’s opinion. His parents had left with nothing but a reminder not to fail his next physics exam, and the past few days had been a mix of awkward and frustrating interactions with his friends. “No matter! Today’s a new day and we have a show to perform!” Tsukasa said as he fixed his hair in the dressing room mirror so it’d be out of the way to do his makeup. “Things are going to go perfectly, everyone will be smiling, and it’ll be another performance worthy of a star!”

“Tsukasa-kun, are you ready?!” Emu’s voice could be heard on the other side of the door, leading to Tsukasa giving a fond chuckle at her antics.

“Give me five more minutes, Emu!” Tsukasa replied. “I just have to do my makeup!”

“Okay! The show starts in fifteen!”

Tsukasa listened as Emu walked away, then quickly applied his makeup, stepping out of his dressing room when he was done and going over to the others, peeking out of the curtains but staying far enough back that he couldn’t be seen. “I’m pretty sure we’re standing room only now.”

“It’s quite a good turnout indeed.” Rui commented. “So, let’s all do our very best. Everyone ready?” Rui waited until he got confirmation. “Alright, on three. One, two, three.”

“Wonderhoy!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This cave is pretty dark…”

“Ah, you noticed too, didn’t you Niko-san?”

“I did indeed, Mita-kun.”

Tsukasa paused, looking around at the crowd. He was playing Niko, while Rui was playing Mita. “I hope we don’t bump into anything- eek!” Tsukasa and Rui ducked as the bat robots flew around for a bit before disappearing. “Ugh… I didn’t think there’d be bats here…”

“Let’s find what we came here for quickly then, Niko-san, and then get out of here.”

“Of course. Lead the way, Mita-kun.”

The play continued on in similar fashion, eventually coming to an end. Wonderlands x Showtime all bowed, listening to the cheers and laughter of their audience. When it came time to clean up though, things changed, the troupe listening to the comments of the audience as they left.

“Is it just me, or did Kamishiro and Tenma not seem to mesh as well?”

“No, you’re right. Otori and Kusanagi did just fine, and Kamishiro and Tenma did fine interacting with them, but they weren’t as fluid interacting with each other.”

“Do you think something happened?”

“I’m not sure…”

“This isn’t normal. Usually their interactions are seamless.”

“Yeah. It was still a good show, but Kamishiro and Tenma need to get their act together a bit more for next time.”

“This show was great! Those bats surprised me.”

“They surprised me as well. Kusanagi and Otori did pretty good, don’t you think?”

“Yeah. What did you think about Kamishiro and Tenma?”

“Well, they did alright, but I could tell there was something going on between them that affected their performance.”

“Do you think they got into a fight?”

“I’m not sure. Who knows what happened, but it’s definitely bad if it’s affecting their performance in a way that shows.”

So, I didn’t hide it well enough then.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tsukasa-kun, can we talk for a minute?” Rui asked, putting away the last of the bats into a crate.

“Hmm? What’s the matter, Rui?” Tsukasa asked, grabbing the lid of the crate and handing it over to Rui.

“The comments, you heard them, correct?”

“I did.” Tsukasa confirmed. “Nothing to worry about though. It was merely a slump for both of us, so we’ll break out of it in no time!”

“Well, if you say so, I trust you, but, Tsukasa-kun?” Rui replied, standing up and facing Tsukasa, his gaze intense.

“Yes?”

“Let me know if you need a break. I’m more than willing to negotiate with Emu’s brothers.”

“I’ll let you know, but I’m fine, I promise.” Tsukasa replied. “Now, KAITO asked for my help sewing some costumes, so if we’re all done here, I’ll go help him.”

“Go ahead. I can put this crate away now that all the bats are put away.” Rui replied.

Tsukasa nodded, opening his phone and switching to the music app, pulling up his playlist and switching to The World Hasn’t Even Started Yet, pressing play. He appeared in front of the main show tent in a shower of glitter and music notes, making his way inside, going onto the stage where KAITO was sitting. “I’m here, KAITO.”

KAITO looked up from the costume he was sewing a tear on, smiling. “Ah, Tsukasa, welcome!” He put the costume down, making sure to tuck the needle into the cushion he had. “How was your show?”

Tsukasa sat down beside KAITO, sighing. “Some people were commenting that Rui and I weren’t meshing together as well as we normally do, but it’s nothing to worry about! We’ll do better during tomorrow’s show and it’ll be like today never happened.”

“They said you weren’t meshing as well?” KAITO asked, a guilty look on his face. “Does it have something to do with the other day?”

“Well, maybe.” Tsukasa admitted. “But it’s not your fault. It’s mine for overreacting. You can’t help your emotions, but I am glad you’re feeling better now.”

“It’s certainly better than the other day, so thank you for your concern.” KAITO replied, picking up the costume he was working on, Tsukasa picking up another one and starting to work on it.

The duo sat in silence for a while, only being broken when one or the other asked how the repair should be done. It wasn’t entirely a comfortable silence, but it wasn’t entirely awkward either. A weird in between silence that neither Tsukasa nor KAITO could describe. After a while though, KAITO spoke up again.

“Tsukasa, why did you react so strongly?” KAITO asked.

“It just reminded me of all the therapies Saki needed when she was little.” Tsuksa replied.

“Really? What therapies did she need?”

“A lot. Physical therapy, occupational therapy, counseling, building up her immune system, building up her digestive system to handle things that weren’t from a feeding tube or less flavorful hospital food, and that alongside trying to educate her so she wouldn’t fall behind in her kanji or anything else of importance that could help her out in the hospital.”

“It sounds like it was a lot.” KAITO idly commented.

“Yes, but as her big brother, I took my duty with pride.” Tsukasa replied. “Besides, it makes me happy to see her in remission and living her best life.”

“I may not know her personally, but I’m glad too.” KAITO admitted. “You seem so much happier whenever she’s doing well.”

“Saki’s my pride and joy! To see her doing so well after all the strife and all the shows I put on with her just fills my heart with so much warmth I don’t know what to do with it all!”

“It honestly reminds me about how I feel about the others.”

“Really? How so?”

“Well, Luka may sleep a lot, but she’s terribly endearing. Especially when you’ve come to realize that when she’s asleep corresponds to when things are peaceful on most occasions. MEIKO’s my age, and she’s a great co-leader. Miku may be a bit too willing to do dangerous stunts, but she’s only 16. It’s a bit endearing how much energy she has. And Rin and Len, they help me take such good care of the plushies.” KAITO explained. “I love seeing them all flourish. And Luka, Miku, and MEIKO are willing to help me through my bad days. It’s more than I could ever ask from them.”

“I see what you mean.” Tsukasa admitted. “They certainly all have made quite the impact, haven’t they?”

“Yes, they have.” KAITO replied. “And that’s why they’re worried about you. Worried about both of us, actually.”

“They can leave all the worrying to be worried about you.” Tsukasa commented. “I’m alright.”

“Tsukasa… Everything may have been numb for me the other day, but how you reacted… It concerned all of us. The others aren’t going to stop being concerned just because you asked them to. They need physical proof that you’re alright, proof that, from what I’ve heard, you haven’t been providing.” KAITO replied. “You all are very physical people, not in an inappropriate way of course. Emu’s full of energy, and she shows that in hugs, her chants, even in theater. Nene’s not as physical, but her expressions more than make up for it. Rui is always showing how he cares for others through physical services with his robots and script design, and you’re also physical, always making sure that whatever others need, they have, like sewing the costumes for Wondashow.”

Tsukasa listened as KAITO spoke, surprised at how well KAITO had figured out how they expressed themselves. “I see your point about how we express ourselves, but what does that have to do with their behavior?”

“Well, because they know you show how you care through physical actions, if you’re not giving one hundred percent of yourself to your interactions with them, they’re going to notice that something’s going on.” KAITO explained.

“And you wholeheartedly believe that things will continue this way?”

“I do.”

Tsukasa sighed, pulling out his phone and switching to The World Hasn’t Even Started Yet. “Thank you for allowing me to help, KAITO, but I need to go.”

“Ah, Tsukasa, wait-!” But it was too late. Tsukasa had already pressed pause, and KAITO could only watch the boy disappear in a shower of glitter and music notes. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Physical acts of service and the like, huh?” Tsukasa muttered, gathering up his things before beginning to make his way out of Phoenix Wonderland. KAITO’s worried, and so’s Miku, MEIKO, Luka, Rin, Len, Rui, Emu, and Nene. All of them are worried. There’s nothing to worry about though! I keep telling them the thought of therapy only reminded me of when Saki needed various different therapies, yet none of them listen! Sigh… I can’t be mad at them though. They genuinely care, so how could I hold that against them? Besides, it’s unbecoming of a future star to get angry. Especially after… how much damage it did back then. I’m glad I managed to change, but I very nearly ruined things back then. I can’t let it happen again.

“Tsukasa-senpai?”

Tsukasa jumped, turning to see who’d called for him, realizing he’d already gotten to the entrance of Phoenix Wonderland. “Oh, Toya! What are you doing here?”

“We didn’t have practice, so Akito and I decided to come here for a few hours.” Toya explained, indicating to the ginger haired boy beside him, who was currently scowling.

“Geh, didn’t expect to run into you here.” Akito grumbled. “Don’t your shows end by now Tsukasa-senpai?”

“It did.” Tsukasa replied. “I just needed to discuss a few extra things, so I stayed back longer.”

“Ah, that makes sense.” Toya commented. “You’re coming over to the cafe for our study session, right?”

“Weekend Garage on Vivid Street, right?” Tsukasa asked. 

“Yes.”

“I’m still coming. I feel honored to get to see one of your favorite places, Toya.”

Toya’s expression didn’t change, but a red tinge appeared on his face, Toya giving a sheepish chuckle. “It’s nothing, Tsukasa-senpai. Ken-san will be more than glad to have everyone over. He asked me recently when I would be bringing the rest of my friends over.”

“He did? It sounds like he really cares about you.” Tsukasa commented.

“He does.” Toya replied. “He cares about all of us. Especially Akito.”

“Eh, m-me?! Toya, you can’t just say stuff like that out of nowhere!” Akito exclaimed, embarrassed.

Tsukasa chuckled at the duo’s antics. “Ah, don’t be embarrassed, Akito! I think it’s great that your hero cares about you, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Akito replied.

“Anyway, I hate to cut the conversation short, but I should get home so I can get plenty of rest for tomorrow.” Tsukasa commented. “I’ll see you both on Saturday!”

“Bye, Tsukasa-senpai!” Toya called as he and Akito began walking off, waving.

“Bye Toya!” Tsukasa replied, waving as well. He soon walked off, contemplating the day as he did.

Come, come. Now we form a circle and start to spin

Bit by bit I come to hate it, but I come to like it

Hey, hey, I don’t even understand the meeting of my selves

We steadily close the gap, but we remain far apart

Da-dum, carried by the music we start to dance

Wretchedly, I come to hate it, but I come to like it

Hey, hey, I don’t understand now or ever

Shake shake my heart, yay

Come, come. We now avert our eyes from each other

Bit by bit I come to hate it, but I come to like it

Hey, hey, I don’t even understand the meeting of my selves

I steadily become better, but I’m crumbling to pieces

Da-dum, before I can touch you, you disappear

Wretchedly, I come to hate it, but I come to like it

Hey, hey, I don’t understand now or ever

Until we can understand each other, we

Chapter Text

Tsukasa found himself walking to Weekend Garage that Saturday in accordance with the group’s plans to study for the upcoming exams. He, Rui, Toya, Akito, An, and Mizuki were all going to study there for a few hours, with Rui, Toya, and Mizuki acting as the tutors. He turned onto Vivid Street, quickly making his way to Weekend Garage, the bell jingling as he stepped in, noticing everyone else was already there. “Ah, hello everyone!”

“Ah, Tsukasa, you’re here!” Mizuki exclaimed, bounding over to him. “Perfect timing too! Ken-san just got us our drinks.”

“Perfect!” Tsukasa replied, turning to Ken. “I’ll have oolong tea, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” Ken replied. “One oolong tea coming right up.”

Rui let Tsukasa sit down before he spoke. “Since we’re all here early, why don’t we start our study session?”

Akito, An, and Tsukasa groaned at the thought of starting early, but straightened themselves up. “Thank you for working with us!”

Mizuki spoke up next, confused. “...But, how are you actually planning on us tutoring them?”

“If I’m remembering right, you’re all supposed to be taking review tests in preparation for midterms aren’t you? Your classes should be preparing you for those tests. Would you mind showing me any worksheets you received during those classes?”

Mizuki, who only had worksheets because she rarely went to class, Akito, An, and Tsukasa all pulled out their worksheets, Mizuki speaking up. “Here, it’s this.”

“Thank you.” Rui replied, studying the worksheets. “Hm… I see. It looks as if they’re a combination of going over the basics and going over future material to see what you already know. There are a lot of questions, but the ones going over the basics shouldn’t be too difficult.”

“They are tests intending to see what needs to be reviewed before midterms, so the teachers must be taking that into consideration.” Toya commented, taking a sip of his coffee, black as always.

“Sorry to interrupt kids, but Tsukasa, here’s your tea.” Ken said as he walked over, handing Tsukasa his oolong tea.
“Thank you, Ken-san.” Tsukasa replied, setting his tea where it wouldn’t get his worksheets if it got knocked over.

“Study hard, alright?” Ken asked.

“Not to worry Ken-san.” Toya commented. “They’re in good hands.”

“I’m glad.” Ken replied, ruffling Toya’s hair, causing a whined “Ken-san!” in response before Ken walked away, Toya taking the time to fix his hair.

“Toya has a point though.” Tsukasa said. “The physics problems on my worksheets are mainly fundamentals.”

“Same here.” Akito replied, looking for all the world like he didn’t want to be there. “That doesn’t mean I was able to solve them.”

“...Ugh… same…” An grumbled.

“But that means as long as you’re able to solve the problems on these worksheets, you’ll be fine, so in that case, let’s focus on studying everything that’s on the worksheets you received.” Rui instructed. “While you’re reviewing your worksheets, if there’s a section you’re confused by, you can refer to your textbooks and solve some of the practice problems listed in them, and if there’s still something you don’t understand, you can always feel free to ask us for help.”

“G-Got it…!” An replied.

“Ah, I wonder if we’ll be able to tutor you guys properly.” Mizuki mused, taking a sip of her iced coffee. Toya-kun, is there anything you’re unsure on?”

Toya crossed his arms, thinking things over before he spoke. “If I’m remembering correctly, Shiraishi failed classical literature and chemistry, while Akito failed mathematics and English. I believe I am capable of teaching fundamentals at this level and some of the future content. What about you, Akiyama?”

“Yeah, if it’s those four subjects, I shouldn’t have any problems!” Mizuki enthusiastically replied.

“In that case, while us tutors have our hands free, we should summarize and prepare for what comes after.” Rui commented, pulling out his own textbooks.

“Understood.” Toya replied, also pulling out his textbooks.

“Thank you everyone!” An said. “I’ll do my best!”

“Yeah! In that case, let’s get this study session started!” Mizuki commented as she also pulled her textbooks out, grouping up with Toya and Rui.

An looked down at her classical literature worksheet, wincing. “Um, so, ‘orifushi no utsuri kawari koso… monogoto ni aware nare…’” An paused, sighing. Mm… I thought this while I was in class, but I really don’t understand it. The meaning of the passage just won’t click in my head at all… It’s like staring at a foreign language. For now, I just have to read the next part… “Mono no aware wa aki koso masare… To higoto ni ifu… Meredo… Sore mo… Nite… Ima… Hito… Ki wa… Kokoro mo, uki, tatsu mono wa-” “Uki tatsu”... Um… maybe something exciting happened? But, then, what’s with the “higoto” from earlier-? And what does it have to do with the heart? Ah! Come on!

“I really can’t understand this at all!” An burst out, startling the rest of the group and some of the patrons in the cafe. “Did a Japanese person really write this?!”

“I understand how you feel…” Tsukasa replied.

“It just doesn’t come into my head that easily…” Akito grumbled, downing some of his coffee without worrying whether or not he’d burn his tongue. 

Mizuki closed the textbook she had open, going over to An. “Ahaha… Well, the only way you can get around classic lit is to memorize the vocab, so… An, which words are you struggling with?”

An sighed. “Um… If you ask me which, it’s kinda all of them…?”

Mizuki sat down beside An, studying An’s worksheet. “All of them, huh? Alright then, let’s take them one at a time! The first passage is… “Worifushi no utsuri kawaru koso, monogoto ni aware nare” huh? Well, is there anything in there you didn’t understand?”

“There is!” An replied. “What does “aware” mean?”

Mizuki brought a hand up to her face, thinking. “Hmm… It’s like a profound, bittersweet loneliness towards things ending, I guess.”

“Profound…” An mused. “Now that I think about it, I’ve heard that word before, but I don’t think I know what it means…”

Toya and Rui both came over, Toya speaking up. “It means it has a heartfelt and rich emotion to it. But, explaining it like that might be difficult for you to grasp. Kamishiro?”

“It may be easier for you to understand if I compare it to a real situation. For example, Shiraishi-kun, have you ever found yourself lost in the sight of the setting sun?” Rui asked.

“You mean the sunset?” An asked, confused, then blinked, something coming to her head. “Ah! When I’ve spent all day practicing singing with everyone, and I’m like, “I’m so tired!”, and I look at the sky, I’ve thought before that it’s like, super pretty! Kohane agrees too. She’s taken several pictures of the sunset.”

“Oh! In that case, I understand it as well!” Tsukasa replied. “The sky that one sees after reaching the limits of what their body is capable of seems ever so high and clear!”

“Yeah, I totally get you!” An replied.

“Fufu. That bittersweet and heartfelt feeling is quite similar to ‘aware.’” Rui commented.

“I get it now…” An replied, making a note of that in her notebook.

“And the part here that says “worifushi”, that’s actually in reference to the seasons. “Monogoto” can be used for anything. Um, this is kind of a loose translation, but I’d put it as “and all of those things to each their own” or something like that.” Mizuki explained.

“Which means…” An mused, “everybody has their own, profound, bittersweet feelings towards… The seasons as they change?”

Mizuki clapped. “That’s right, that’s right! That’s exactly it!”

“Wah!” An exclaimed. “Thanks everyone! I finally understand what it means!”

“As expected of Shiraishi-kun.” Rui praised. “You’re quick on the uptake.”

“Well, she only managed to figure out one line.” Akito scoffed.

Toya raised an eyebrow. “And how many of your practice problems have you managed while she did that, Akito? Your hands have been rather still for a while now.”

“Ugh…”

“Ahaha! That’s a win for you, An!” Mizuki laughed. “Keep up the pace and keep reading!”

“Yeah!” An replied.

“I’M SORRY!” Tsukasa shouted, exasperated. “Rui! You have to teach me! I haven’t got a clue what any of this means!”

Rui went over to Tsukasa, studying his worksheet. “This is… If you just use the formula here, you should be able to solve it. Do you remember it?”

Tsukasa slumped in his seat. “Urgh… I feel like I remember seeing it… I apologize. Can you explain it to me from the top?”

“For Christ’s sake!” Akito grumbled. “I don’t understand what’s written here at all… The heck is sine cosine tangent?! Just knowing the words doesn’t do crap for me…”

Toya went over to Akito, massaging his shoulders to help him calm down. “Calm down, Akito. Start by looking at the length of the two sides. You can figure out the answers one by one if you start there. With me here, we’ll surely figure out all of the answers.”

Akito sighed, relaxing into the massage. “Yeah… Thanks, Toya.”

An looked between her textbook and her worksheet. “Um… um… “mezurashi” is… it means something wonderful and unusual… And “imiji” means… More skillful…” An looked at her textbook, surprised. “Eh?! Why would “hazukashi” mean magnificent?!”

Mizuki chuckled, going over to help An. “Ahaha! Do your best~. For now, we’ve gotta start by memorizing all of the representative vocabulary.”

“Ugh!” An whined. “It’s not sticking in my head at all~!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh my. Look at the time.” Rui commented, sipping on his fourth latte of the day. “Everyone seems quite exhausted already, so why don’t we call it for today and pick it back up tomorrow.”

“...Finally finished…” Tsukasa muttered.

“My head hurts…” Akito grumbled.

“That’s proof of how much you studied, Akito.” Toya commented. “Also, to most effectively absorb all of the knowledge you acquired today, you should review a little before you go to bed.”

“Are you serious…? Partner, can’t I have a break for one night…?” Akito replied.

Toya, however, wasn’t relenting. “Please, Aki? I want to see you pass.”

“Ugh, when you put it like that… I can’t exactly refuse…” Akito replied, reluctantly relenting.

“Uuu… I don’t want to think about anything anymore…” An grumbled. But… I have to… We definitely have to pass, or we’re all facing remedial classes, and we can’t have that.

I can’t

Holding on for far too long

Was it all just a- just a dream

Am I wrong? Was there no you and me?

Scream and call- call me less

Shout out that you have something left

Something, just say anything

Don’t end this moment

You and me

Chapter Text

Tsukasa found himself back at Weekend Garage the next day, drinks and food already served and knee deep in a study session once more.

An was once again working on her classic literature. “Everyone seems to feel that… ‘above all, it is autumn that moves the heart to tears.’ Um… everyone says that autumn is the most elegant, but…” An stopped briefly to consult her worksheet again. “‘And there is some truth in this, yet sure what stirs the heart more profoundly, is-’ That’s true, but what cheers up the heart more is-”

“Woah, An!” Mizuki exclaimed. “You can read that way better than you could yesterday!”

“Yeah! Well, I mean, I can only manage the vocab and the conjugations while looking at the textbook.” An admitted. “I was studying the vocab list while in the bath yesterday, but I still couldn’t memorize it all that well.”

“I see, I see~.” Mizuki replied. “Alright~! Then allow me to present a gift to the hardworking An!”

An looked up, confused. “Eh?”

Mizuki reached into her bag, pulling something out and handing it to An. “Here, for you!”

An accepted it, looking at it. “This is… a notebook?”

“Yeah!” Mizuki replied. “I wrote them up yesterday. There’s vocab you should memorize, I summarized some of the conjugations, and a bunch of other stuff too, so you should use it as a reference!”

“Eh…? You went out of your way to make this for me?”

Toya leaned over, checking out the contents of the notebook. “This is… Incredible. You’ve compiled everything very neatly, Akiyama.”

Mizuki beamed. “Right, right?! You’re allowed to praise me more if you want!”

“It is pretty impressive, but… why are you so serious all of a sudden…?” Akito grumbled.

Mizuki looked like she deflated like a popped balloon. “Huh. That’s rude. I don’t want An to have to take remedial classes either, you know.” She turned her attention back to An. “An, do your best with this to make sure you pass, alright?”

“Thank you, Mizuki!” An replied. “I’ll be sure to treasure it!”

“Alright…! I got it!” Akito cheered upon successfully completing a practice problem.

Toya gave his partner a fond smile. “You’re setting a good pace, Akito.”

“Aoyagi-kun is right.” Rui agreed. “But why don’t we take a break for now, everyone? Making sure to take adequate breaks is vital for heightening your focus.”

“You’re quite right!” Tsukasa replied. Our throats must be getting quite dry by now, especially since we’ve run out of drinks again, so perhaps we ought to go and ask Ken-san for more drinks.”

“Then let’s play rock paper scissors!” Mizuki suggested. “Whoever loses has to go over and ask Ken-san for more drinks!”

“Oh, sounds good!” An exclaimed. “Let’s do it!”

“I don’t mind either,” Toya began, “but… I feel bad for making Ken-san carry six teenager’s drinks alone, so how about two people go up, one to help and one to order?”

“Okay!” Mizuki replied.

“Alright, let’s go then.” Akito commented.

“Rock, paper…”

“Scissors!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Aw man, I can’t believe I lost~. And they all had the nerve to ask for such complicated drinks too… My brain can’t take anymore…” An grumbled as she waited on Ken to prepare all the drinks.

“Fufu. It just goes to show how exhausted everyone must be.” Rui commented. “I’ll help carry some of them.”

“Ah, I’m fine! It’s my dad’s shop, so I should be the one who helps carry them. If anything, are you alright, senpai?”

“There’s no issues here. You have to continue studying at full power after this, so I won’t force you to push yourself.”

“Ahaha.” An laughed. “You’re making such a big deal out of it. But… Really, thank you for all of this. Not just for helping me carry the drinks, but for tutoring me too. It was super easy for me to understand what you were saying, and I’ve learnt a ton!”

“It’s nothing to thank me for.” Rui replied. “It’s lively, and quite fun for me as well.”

“Really? I’m so glad!” An exclaimed.

“And for that matter… It seems like Mizuki is enjoying themselves as well. I wouldn’t have guessed that they’d write all those notes for you, Shiraishi-kun.”

“Ah, that surprised me too!” An admitted. “I didn’t think they’d go that far for me! Even yesterday, when I thanked them for going along with all of this, they said it was fine ‘cause they were having fun too!”

“...Is that so?” Rui mused. “I’m glad to hear.”

“Ah, now that I think about it, you and Mizuki went to the same middle school, didn’t you Kamishiro-senpai?” An asked. “Have you two gotten along ever since then?”

“Maybe so…” Rui replied. “We were close enough we’d meet up to chat every now and then, and we’d help each other with any issues we faced. But Mizuki…” Rui trailed off, looking over at the table the rest of the group were sitting at, a fond smile on his face. “They look like they’re having more fun now. It seems like they’re genuinely enjoying these study sessions too.”

“Are they really? From my perspective, it just looks like they’re having as much fun as usual.” An replied.

“You didn’t see them back then. It was… worse back then than it is now. But, fufu, it seems they’ve found people who inspire them.” Rui commented, turning back to An. “I believe you’re one of those people, Shiraishi-kun.”

“Eh?”

“I was just thinking that having a friend like you must have helped them out a great deal when I couldn’t.” Rui admitted.

“I have…?” An asked, leaning against the counter. Hm… I haven’t really done anything though. ‘Cause I just became friends with Mizuki because I have fun spending time with them! That’s why I’ve never really been thinking about it as helping them or anything. Oh, but… If Mizuki thought that they were glad to become friends with me… I think that’d make me super happy!”

“I see…”

“Ah, An, Rui, here’s your drinks.” Ken commented, setting four of the drinks down on the counter. “I’ll carry these two, and you can carry two each.”

“Thanks, dad!” An replied, grabbing her and Tsukasa’s drinks, Rui grabbing his and Mizuki’s, while Ken had Akito and Toya’s. Together, the group walked over to the table, setting the drinks down in the center of the table.

“We’re back! We brought all the drinks, and dad’s probably gonna make more food soon!”

“You guys took forever~!” Mizuki teased. “I’m literally dying over here!”

“Sorry! Sorry!” An replied. “But, I made sure you got the iced coffee you like so much!”

“Ooh~! I was waiting!” Mizuki replied, taking her drink and setting it in front of her.

“Where’s my latte?” Akito asked.

“Fine, fine.” An replied, handing Akito his latte. “Is this good with you?”

“Mm. Thanks.”

“It seems we kept you and Aoyagi-kun waiting as well, Tsukasa-kun. Here’s your drinks.” Rui commented, pointing out Tsukasa and Toya’s drinks so the two could grab them.

“Indeed!” Tsukasa replied, unintentionally grabbing Toya’s coffee. “You have my thanks Rui, Shiraishi! Oh, my bad, this coffee seems to be yours, Toya. It’s hot, so do be careful.”

“Thank you very much, Tsukasa-senpai.” Toya replied, taking his coffee.

“Shiraishi-kun, here’s your coffee.” Rui said, handing An her coffee. “Make sure you drink up, so you can continue putting your all into your studies.”

“Yes sir!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

`Tuesday found the group in an empty classroom inside Kamiyama High.

“Kamishiro-senpai! Thanks for teaching me that technique the other day! Thanks to that, I was able to memorize all of the elements!” An cheered.

“Is that so?” Rui asked. “In that case, why don’t we start writing down those elements now?”

“Yeah! Um… huh? What should I do? I only memorized the words! I didn’t memorize what they meant!” An panicked.

“Akito, are you doing questions about probability right now?” Tsukasa asked.

“The heck do you want?” Akito snapped. “Looking at my notes without asking…”

“Fufufu… I’m quite adept when it comes to that subject!” Tsukasa replied. “Allow me to teach you!”

“No, I didn’t ask you.” Akito replied. “I’m not having any problems right now.”

“No, no! There’s no need to hesitate!” Tsukasa exclaimed. “You see, there’s a trick to solving these problems-”

“He’s not listening to me…” Akito muttered. “I guess I just have to sit here and let him teach me.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday saw the group in the same empty classroom.

“Memorization is necessary for learning in school, but just staring at your textbook is an inefficient method of study.” Rui explained. “And that is where this device comes into play!”

“I mean… I’ve been seeing it out of the corner of my eye for a while now, but… what the heck is it supposed to be?” Akito asked.

“Fufu. This is an instant memorization device that I created myself. It stimulates all five senses, and allows you to memorize whatever you so wish.” Rui replied, looking quite pleased with himself. “It’s still in it’s experimental phase, but I can guarantee its safety. What do you think? Would you like to give it a try, Shinonome-kun?”

Akito blanched, going pale. “What kind of weirdo would say yes?! Nobody’s gonna use something that insane.”

“I-I might be a little interested…” An admitted. “And if it means I can memorize all of these weird chemical formulas…”

Tsukasa panicked. “C-Calm down, Shiraishi. They always say that slow and steady wins the race!”

The group studied for a while longer before An spoke up. “I’m so tired~. I think it’s about time for a break.”

“I agree.” Rui replied. “Ah, Nene-chan, greetings.”

Nene flinched at being noticed in the doorway. “Ah… um…”

An turned to the classroom doorway. “Huh? Kusanagi-san? You’re still here? What’s up?”

“Um… I heard from Rui and Tsukasa that you guys are holding study sessions.” Nene explained, holding out a package. “I brought these for you. They’re chocolates that I bought from a shop by the station… If you like, you can all share it.”

“Eh?! Really?!”

“Yep. It seems like Tsukasa and the others are doing their best…” Nene replied. “And I heard chocolate’s good for when you’re tired.”

“Thank you~! You’re seriously a lifesaver!” An exclaimed as she went over to Nene and took the chocolates. 

“Yeah… Good luck with your studies.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday found the group gathered in front of the first year hallway, the review tests looming over everyone’s heads. 

“It seems everyone has gathered.” Toya observed.

“Yeah… The day’s finally here. It feels so unreal.” An replied.

“Regardless of whether you’re crying or laughing, today’s the final day. Everything rides on whether or not you can pass this test.” Rui commented.

An said nothing, deadpanning.

“Have you all found your resolve?” Rui asked.

“Heh. Of course I have.” Akito replied. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve prepared for today? I won’t start whining now.”

“Yeah… You’re right. I’m okay too.” An replied as well. “Plus… if I fail here, I won’t be able to face anyone who’s helped me up until now. I’ll do everything I can.”

“Ahaha!” Mizuki laughed. “I guess I’d better put my all into this test too. I don’t want to have to take remedials for the midterm after all!”

“Indeed!” Tsukasa exclaimed. “In that case, let us all pass this test.”

“And make sure we all don’t get remedial classes together!” An cut in with a smile before gaining a focused expression. “Then… we’ll get going.”

“Right. Give it your all, everyone.” Rui replied. “Toya and I will be waiting for you.”

Tsukasa, Akito, An, and Mizuki walked off, all going to their test room.

Toya watched the group leave, a frown on his face, surprising for him since he usually only emoted through micro expressions. “I wonder if they’ll be alright…”

“I don’t think there’s any need to worry, Aoyagi-kun.” Rui said. “As I’m sure you saw for yourself, Aoyagi-kun, everyone was studying seriously the whole way through. With how far they’ve come, I’m certain they’ll be able to overcome any obstacle that’s put in front of them. So, let’s wait and believe in them.”

“Right.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tsukasa, Akito, An, and Mizuki sat in the classroom the test was being administered in, listening to the teacher.

“Did everyone receive their test papers? The number of subjects you’re taking depends on how many you failed, so please turn in your test papers as soon as you’ve finished. The tests you submit will be graded on the spot. We’ll also let you know whether you’ve passed or failed, and if you need remedial classes before the upcoming midterm. Do your best so you can show the results of your hard work this past week. And… begin!”

The room immediately filled with the sound of pencils on paper, several students erasing and rewriting things as time ticked by. An finished the last question on the chemistry part of her test, internally celebrating. Alright! Chemistry’s finished. And there were barely any problems I got stuck on… But, next is classics. I have to focus properly. An worked in silence once more, working her way through the questions. …Yeah, this is looking good so far. There haven’t been any questions that I don’t understand… There are two big questions… An paused, studying her test papers. The first is a Chinese classic. Chinese lit is okay. I’m not that bad at it in the first place, and I can manage reading it… But after that is my biggest challenge. Classic Japanese literature.

The text is… An studied her test papers again. Huh?! This is… “The changing seasons are moving in every way. Everyone seems to feel that ‘it is above all autumn that moves the heart to tears’, and there is some truth in this, yet surely it is spring that stirs the heart more profoundly…” It’s the passage that I figured out with everyone on the day of our first study session! Alright, if this is it, I can do this! An thought back on when she first encountered the passage, a thoughtful expression on her face. Yeah… Everybody has their own profound, bittersweet feelings towards the seasons as they change. Everyone says that autumn is the most elegant… But what cheers the heart up most… Is the sight of spring. The birdsong that sounds like spring, and the gentle sunshine… And from the time that the plants of the hedgerows begin to bloom- I can read it! The meaning of the sentence is actually coming into my head!

It doesn’t sound like a magic curse anymore. I can properly understand the feelings that were put into these sentences! I feel it… The feelings of the person who wrote this! I can imagine the scenery, how lonely and beautiful it is, and how full it makes my heart feel… I can feel all those bittersweet, profound feelings…! It’s thanks to everyone. Mizuki, Kamishrio-senpai, Toya… And Akito and Tenma-senpai, who studied with me. No, it’s not just them. So many of my other friends were cheering me on. Their encouragement, their kind thoughts… It all gave me strength. Right now, I’m sure I can solve it…! Each and every one of these problems!

Akito glanced up from his test papers over to An, noticing the look of concentration on her face. An’s concentration is insane… I can’t lose to her, though. Isn’t that right? Those guys believed in me and sent me out here. I can’t let them down!

The class continued working for a while, steadily making their way through the test papers.

“Oh…!” An breathed when she came to the end of the test papers. Huh? Is this the end…? Maybe it’s ‘cause I was so focused… The time just flew right by… Wait, right. I have to make sure I look over my work… It’s alright… I solved everything, and I didn’t miss any of the questions. Yeah… I’m sure with this. Thank you everyone. Thanks to you all, I…

Sink me, sink me

Let me fall, let me fall

If that’s how it’s going to be,

Dance a dance

Before it all goes gray, make some noise

Change, change

Until you fall into dreamland

If that’s how it’s going to be, 

Steal it, steal it

Dig up these tamed lies for all to see

I was looking at the false image that flashed through my boiling mind

I was looking at myself

Chapter Text

“It’s about time for Mizuki and Tsukasa-kun to return…” Rui mused, checking the time on his phone.

“You’re right… However, Akito and Shiraishi have two subjects each, so I imagine they’ll take a bit longer…”

“Ahh, I’m beat~. Wait, were you two waiting for us?” Mizuki asked as she walked over to the duo. 

“Excellent work, Mizuki.” Rui praised. “How’d it go?”

“I passed, of course!” Mizuki boasted, showing Rui the 97 on her test papers.

“I see.” Toya replied. “I’m glad.”

“Thanks! Isn’t it about time for Tsukasa-senpai to come back though?” Mizuki asked.

“You’re right.” Toya commented. “I thought so as well, but… he hasn’t shown up yet.”

“Then, all that’s left is to wait for him, Otouto-kun, and An.” Mizuki replied.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Akito… Shiraishi… Tsukasa-senpai…”

“Ahaha… You don’t need to look so anxious about it, Toya. They’ll be fine. I took a peek at them when I left the classroom, and all three of them were focusing super hard.” Mizuki replied, trying to soothe Toya, knowing how much the boy worried about those he cared about.

“I see…” Toya replied. “If that’s the case, it’s fine, but…”

“Finally done…”

“I’m so tired…”

Toya perked up, looking over to the source of the voices. “Akito, Shiraishi…!”

“My bad. Looks like we kept you waiting. Sorry Toya, Mizuki, Kamishiro-senpai.” Akito said as he and An walked over. 

“That doesn’t matter, partner.” Toya replied. “How’d it go?”

“I…” Akito hesitated, but gathered his courage and spoke up. “I got a few wrong, but it’s fine. I still passed.”

“Thank goodness…!” Toya sighed, slumping against the wall he was leaning against, earning an amused chuckle from Mizuki and an exasperated yet fond sigh from Akito.

“You worry too much sometimes, Toya.”

“What spectacular news, Shinonome-kun!” Rui exclaimed.

“Ah… Well, yeah. Thank you, Kamishiro-senpai.” Akito replied.

Mizuki bounced over, looking for all the world like an eager puppy. “And? And? How was yours, An?”

“Mine was perfect!” An beamed. “I passed!” An flipped through her test papers to the classic literature section. “And look at this! I got full marks on classic lit!”

“Really?!” Mizuki asked, beaming. “That’s amazing!”

“Yeah! The teacher even praised me, and he gave me a hanamaru!” An replied, showing off the hanamaru she’d received beside her classic lit grade. 

“Oh?” Akito asked, curiosity peaked as he studied An’s test papers, Toya leaning closer as well. “That’s pretty good.”

“You really did your best, Shiraishi.” Toya commented.

“Congratulations, Shiraishi-kun.” Rui said.

“And now we know almost everyone’s officially passed! What a relief~!” Mizuki exclaimed.

“Yeah…” Akito replied. “But this test… It looks like you can redo it as many times as it takes for you to pass within the testing hours.”

“Huh?! Are you serious?!” An exclaimed. “It wasn’t a one shot deal?”

“Yeah.” Akito replied, nodding. “There was a kid earlier who got a failing grade, but they sent him back to his seat and made him do the test again.”

“You’re joking right?! Does that mean there was no point in us studying so hard?”

“Nah.” Akito replied, shaking his head. “If you didn’t study at least a little, there’d be some problems you wouldn’t be able to solve no matter how hard you tried.”

“You’re right.” Rui agreed, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. “And… I’m sure the teachers kept that to themselves intentionally, because if they knew they could try as many times as they wanted, there’d be students who cut corners.”

“Ah… I guess so.” An replied. “But maybe it was a good thing.”

“Huh?” Mizuki asked, confused.

“I dunno. While I was taking the test, I had a thought.” An began. “That I was so glad I did my best studying with everybody up until today.”

“Shiraishi…” Toya breathed, feeling moved.

“Everyone taught me so much, and we worked so hard together, and all the problems I couldn’t understand at the start became things I could solve… And it made me realize everyone’s kindness and feelings helped me out a ton. And that just made me super happy!” An explained. “Plus, I was glad I could solve all of the problems too. All of the questions on classic lit that I couldn’t understand before, I could understand just fine now. When that happened, I could feel all the thoughts and feelings the author put into his writing. It was fun! Studying’s pretty hard, and it kinda sucks a lot of the time, but I’m starting to think that that’s maybe not all there is to it.”

“You’ve got a point.” Akito replied. “When I was able to solve those math problems that I couldn’t understand before… It kinda made me feel like it was a challenge worth overcoming.”

“It’s not like I think it’s super fun now or anything…” An began. “But, I’m really glad I did my best!”

“Shiraishi-kun…” Rui breathed, a soft expression on his face.

“Not just to everyone who tutored me, but to everyone who studied with me too… Really, thank you guys so much!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of the bell startled the group out of their thoughts a couple of hours later, students beginning to pour out of the classrooms.

“Can any of you see Tsukasa-senpai?” Toya asked, looking around at the crowd.

“I don’t see him yet.” Mizuki replied. “Rui?”

“I see him.” Rui replied. “He’s near the back of the crowd, so he should be with us in a few minutes.”

“Ah… thank goodness…” Toya commented. “It’s been so long. I was getting worried.”

“I think we all were.” An admitted. “But once he gets to us, let’s see how he did!”

Sure enough, a few minutes later, Tsukasa made his way to the group, clutching two separate packets in his hands, looking downcast.

Rui was the first to notice, frowning. “Tsukasa…?”

Tsukasa flinched, gripping his papers tighter. “Hi…”

“What happened?” Toya asked. “What grade did you get?”

“Well, I passed English, but…” Tsukasa trailed off, flipping to the physics section of his test where a red 59 sat. “It’s like everything I learned when we were studying went out the window!” Tsukasa complained. “And now I have to take remedial classes, which means we’ll have to alter our entire schedule up until midterms!”

The group collectively winced, Toya and Rui frowning, knowing how much Tsukasa had studied, Akito wincing in sympathy. “I’m so sorry, Tsukasa-senpai.” Toya commented.

Tsukasa sighed. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Toya! I’ll just deal with these remedials and everything will be right as rain again after midterms!” Tsukasa tried to look cheerful, but he wasn’t as successful as usual, the weight of his parents' words about passing his next physics exam weighing on him. At least, he thought, they aren’t here to see me fail.

“Ah, you did your best though, and that’s what matters, isn’t it?” Mizuki replied. “I think li’l bro here agrees with me.”

Akito scoffed, but he didn’t look too annoyed. “Mizuki’s right, Tsukasa-senpai. You did your best, and that’s what matters. Plus, now you know what you need to review before midterms.”

“Mm… I suppose you both are right.” Tsukasa replied.

“Anyway, the majority of our marks were great, so why don’t we go to dad’s shop and celebrate?!” An suggested, excited.

“You guys can go ahead.” Tsukasa replied. “I need to go home and start studying physics again.”

Rui paused, surprised at Tsukasa’s words. “Tsukasa-kun, are you sure? You’ve been studying all week, and you just took a major test. Some rest and relaxation would do you some good.”

“I’m sure, Rui.” Tsukasa replied. “I need to prepare myself for the remedials so I don’t go in not knowing how to do anything.”

“Tsukasa-senpai, are you really sure?” Toya asked, his face blank, like he didn’t know how to react. “I’m just worried you’ll push yourself too hard.”

“Toya, I’ll be fine.” Tsukasa repeated. “I just need to make sure this doesn’t happen again, so I have to start as soon as possible.” Tsukasa clutched the two sets of papers he held, looking pained. “Our dream is already going to be pushed back because we won’t be able to practice together in the two weeks leading up to midterms and then the days of midterms themselves. I can’t afford to push it back further.”

“You could always wait and start studying on Monday.” Mizuki suggested, oddly serious. “You don’t have to push yourself so hard.”

“I’m sorry, but I need to do this.” Tsukasa replied, a hint of finality in his voice. “Goodbye, everyone. I’ll see you on Monday.”

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“And you haven’t seen Tsukasa since Friday?” MEIKO asked the following Tuesday, her and Rui sitting on a bench by the singing flowers.

Rui shook his head. “We don’t share a class, but I’d normally see him for lunch. From what I’ve heard, he’s just been eating his lunch in his classroom and studying the entire time.”

“What could’ve set him on this frenzy?” MEIKO asked.

Rui looked at the ground, sighing. “He got bad marks on his last physics test. When he took the review test to see if he needed remedials, he got bad marks on that as well. He’s already upset about messing up our schedule, even though we had to alter it for midterms anyway, and he could never mess up our schedule. We’ll always make room for individual member schedule changes, just as we always have. Hehe, it makes me wonder what goes through his head sometimes.”

MEIKO sighed, putting a hand on Rui’s shoulder and beginning to rub it in a comforting gesture. “We haven’t found anything that points towards this sort of behavior here, and this Sekai is a reflection of all of your feelings. With Tsukasa being the creator, most of what’s here is influenced by him, and yet nothing points to this sort of behavior.”

Rui leaned against MEIKO, soaking in the warmth her comfort gave him. His eye bags had gotten worse from the nights he spent tinkering to try to keep his mind off of his worries for Tsukasa, and he found himself drifting, not completely asleep, but everything around him pleasantly warm and fuzzy.

MEIKO noticed, lowering the tone of her voice. “Rui, how much sleep have you gotten recently?”

“Mm…” Rui muttered, blearily blinking his eyes open, not realizing he’d closed them, voice slurring as he replied. “Five, no, six hours?”

“Spread out or only one day?” MEIKO asked.

Rui took a moment to think before answering. “Spread out. I was,” he was cut off by a yawn, “worried about Tsukasa-kun, so I tried tinkering to take my mind off of things.”

“And in doing so, you got so focused that you forgot to sleep, am I right?” MEIKO asked.

Rui nodded, head slipping from its place against MEIKO’s shoulder, and he sluggishly moved so he’d be leaning against her once more, content to stay where he was now that the exhaustion was catching up with him.

“Oh, Rui…” MEIKO muttered, watching the boy fight to stay awake. “I’ll have KAITO or one of the others check on Tsukasa in a little bit, so why don’t you get some sleep?”

Rui’s head dipped as he started dozing, but he jolted awake, only catching part of MEIKO’s words. “Huh…?”

MEIKO sighed, a fond smile on her face. “Just sleep, Rui.”

Rui blinked, settling back against MEIKO, head once more against her shoulder. He stayed like that, the last thing he heard being the gentle voices of the singing flowers before he lost himself to the void the warmth provided.

I laid my bleeding heart before you, but hey

Can you return it someday?

Be gentle or it could break

And in time I hope that it can finally go back

But I can wait for some time

To pass

You and me

You and me

Said that we would last for an eternity

Guess we couldn’t last for an eternity

Don’t mind, don’t mind, we’ll be alright

Cause this’ll be the perfect kind of end

Cycling

Giving just to take it all away

Knowing that I’d never find the answer anyway

But I really wanted you to say it

I want it even now

(“Guess we couldn’t last for an eternity”)

(“Guess we couldn’t last for an eternity”)

But I really

But I really

But I really

Wanted to hear it, if only in the end

Chapter Text

MEIKO waited a few minutes, watching Rui’s breathing ease and deepen as the boy slipped into sleep. Oh, Rui… Always so hard working, and only 17 years old…  He reminds me so much of KAITO sometimes… MEIKO carefully shifted Rui so he was laying on her lap, slipping her arms underneath him, waiting as Rui stirred slightly, sighing in relief when the boy only shifted slightly before settling again. She carefully stood up, tucking Rui against her chest, making her way into the main show tent and backstage to the bedrooms, pausing when she encountered KAITO, who hadn’t yet taken a break that day, the latter carrying some script papers in his hands.

KAITO tensed, looking between MEIKO and Rui. “MEIKO…?”

“He hasn’t been sleeping well.” MEIKO explained with a frown. “He’s spent a lot of his time staying up at night tinkering to try to keep from worrying about Tsukasa.”

“Tsukasa?” KAITO asked, still tense. “Now that I think about it, he hasn’t come here in several days.”

“From what Rui told me, ever since Tsukasa failed the physics portion and got assigned remedials, he’s done nothing but study. Hasn’t even shown up for practice on the days where you’d think he’d have time to come, which is the weekends.” MEIKO watched Rui carefully as she spoke, making sure she wouldn’t do anything to accidentally wake the boy up, glad for her superhuman strength. “I’d like for you to check up on him, see how he’s doing.”

“I just finished revising the script.” KAITO replied. “When will we review it now?”

“We can review it when you get back.” MEIKO replied. “Just leave the papers on the stage and I’ll collect them after I put Rui to bed.” MEIKO paused as Rui stirred again, gently shushing him until Rui settled down, his head slumping as he finally seemed to settle into a deeper sleep.

KAITO watched, and while he couldn’t deny that he didn’t want to see Rui again so soon after seeing what Rui had went through because of him, he could tell he was exhausted, so he did as asked, slipping by MEIKO to go deposit the script papers on the stage and check on Tsukasa.

MEIKO watched KAITO go, then carefully nudged open the door to her room, stepping inside. Her room was a tad bigger than KAITO’s since she needed more things. Her bed was pushed into the right corner of the room, and directly across from her bed she had her vanity, which had all of her makeup and hair styling products. A wardrobe to the left of her bed held her clothes, and against the left wall was her desk, equally as busy as KAITO’s, but less messy, with everything carefully contained in trays, cups, or the desk’s drawers. The right wall had a door that led to an attached bathroom, something she knew KAITO could add to his room if he wanted instead of using the community bathroom, but something she knew the man also would probably never do.

MEIKO carefully made her way to her bed, nudging the comforter down to the edge of it, her sheets a soothing lime green, comforter the same shade, pillow cases white, before setting Rui down on the bed. She carefully untied his shoes and slipped them off, moving to set them down by the door before returning, grabbing her comforter and laying it over Rui, tucking him in, backing away as she watched him roll onto his side, his arms reaching out as if to clutch something. MEIKO knew of the platypus plush in Rui’s garage that he usually slept with, so she went to her wardrobe, picking up a Phenny plush she had that she’d been given after one of Toya’s many arcade escapades and slotting it between Rui’s arms. Next, MEIKO took Rui’s phone, carrying it over to her desk and plugging it in using one of the chargers the troupe had accidentally left behind. With that done, MEIKO stepped out of the room, turning off the light and gently shutting the door.

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KAITO quietly appeared in Tsukasa’s room, noting from his place on Tsukasa’s phone that it looked like his phone had just been haphazardly tossed onto the bed, Tsukasa himself hard at work at his desk. KAITO went to greet him, but paused, doing a double take. Tsukasa’s trash can was overflowing with empty energy drink cans and crumpled and ripped papers, and Tsukasa’s desk fared no better, piles of papers on top of it, leaving Tsukasa barely any room to work, with more piles on the floor by his desk, several physics textbooks and practice books also piled on the floor. Tsukasa himself looked terrible, his hair a mess, clothes wrinkled, and bags so deep under his eyes that even the concealer he was wearing couldn’t fully hide them, the boy himself sipping on another energy drink as he read an essay his physics teacher had wrote on Newton’s Laws, looking as if he could collapse at any moment. “Tsukasa…?”

Tsukasa didn’t react, his focus narrowed to his computer, though he kept sighing in frustration as his vision blurred, forcing him to restart the paragraph he was reading once his vision cleared.

KAITO cleared his throat, trying again. “Tsukasa!”

This time, Tsukasa jumped, barely managing to keep his energy drink from spilling. “K-KAITO?! Geez, you scared me! When did you get here?”

“Just a couple minutes ago.” KAITO replied, a worried look on his face. “You look terrible, Tsukasa. What happened?”

“Nothing happened, I’m fine.” Tsukasa replied. “I’m just studying in between school and remedials.” Tsukasa rubbed his eyes as his vision blurred again, taking another sip of his energy drink. “I can’t fail the midterm, so I have to put one hundred percent of myself into this.”

“MEIKO said Rui told her he hasn’t seen you in days.” KAITO replied. “He seems quite worried. Fell asleep in Sekai, actually. Seemed like he’d been on another tinkering spree again.”

Tsukasa gave a noncommittal hum, his tired brain not letting him understand the full meaning of KAITO’s words.

KAITO seemed to notice this fact, as he didn’t try to repeat himself, instead sighing as he adjusted his sleeves. “Won’t you at least take a break and get some rest?”

“I can’t.” Tsukasa replied, continuing to read the essay, stopping whenever his vision blurred to rub his eyes and drink his energy drink before continuing. “I’m only two pages through this essay, and it’s ten pages long. I can’t stop until I finish the entire thing.”

“Tsukasa, you need rest.” KAITO firmly replied. “You can’t absorb everything properly if you don’t get some rest first.”

Tsukasa didn’t seem to hear KAITO, beginning to doze where he sat before he jolted, shaking himself awake.

KAITO sighed, jumping from Tsukasa’s phone to his computer. “Tsukasa, please. You’re already close to collapsing. Just fifteen minutes?” KAITO’s expression was one of complete worry, eyebrows furrowed as he took in Tsukasa’s sorry state.

Tsukasa went to retort, but stopped upon seeing KAITO’s worried frown, yawning. “Alright, I’ll take a break, but only for fifteen minutes.” He stood up, stretching before going over to his bed, picking his phone up as KAITO jumped back to his phone before going over to his armchair, sitting down. 

“Do you want to hear about the script we’ve been developing?” KAITO asked, turning to face Tsukasa. “It’s quite interesting.”

Tsukasa nodded, setting his phone down on his lap but still keeping a hold of it so it’d remain steady for KAITO. “What’s it about?”

“Well, it’s an adaptation of Little Red Riding Hood.” KAITO explained. “However, instead of taking place in the forest, it takes place in Wonderland.”

“So… Red Riding Hood ends up in Wonderland instead of the forest?” Tsukasa asked after a few moments.

“Yes! And she sees a mix of Wonderland characters and characters from the traditional story.” KAITO replied. “She sees the wolf throughout the entire journey, but sometimes she’ll see Wonderland characters at the same time as the wolf. For example, the current draft has the wolf and the Cheshire cat at the same time in one of the scenes.”

“The wolf and the Cheshire cat together?” Tsukasa asked, yawning. “It sounds interesting.”

“It is. Two completely different species meeting, one big and bad, and one mischievous.” KAITO replied. “There’s several instances like that we’re debating. The wolf and the mad hatter, the wolf and the queen, the wolf and Alice herself, the possibilities are endless.” KAITO waited for a reply, but when he got none, he looked up, noticing how Tsukasa’s head was drooped, the boy’s eyes closed and his mouth slightly parted. “Ah, he’s finally asleep. I’m glad…” KAITO muttered to himself. KAITO watched Tsukasa for a few moments, knowing the armchair wasn’t the best place for Tsukasa to sleep, but decided it was better than no sleep, and so left Tsukasa be, pleased to see that in sleep, his expression was much more relaxed than the stress filled one it had been when Tsukasa was awake, quickly returning to Wonderland Sekai.

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“How is he?” Miku asked upon seeing KAITO arrive at the stage.

KAITO sat down with the group before speaking, picking up his script papers. “He’s not doing well, but I finally got him to sleep. His room is a complete mess, overloaded with failed attempts at practice problems, textbooks, notes, practice problems, and empty energy drinks.”

Miku winced when she heard how Tsukasa was doing, ears pinned back. “He’s doing that badly…?”

“What happened to Tsukasa?” Len asked, he and Rin setting their script papers down.

“To put it simply, it sounds like he overworked himself.” MEIKO replied, being careful not to disturb Luka, who was sleeping with her head on MEIKO’s lap. “I’m not sure he even remembered Toya had invited him to celebrate Akito’s birthday today, but I’m sure they’ll understand if someone explains what happened, especially if Tsukasa himself explains.”

“Tsukasa had a birthday to celebrate today?” Rin asked, excited, but then her rabbit ears on her bandana seemed to deflate. “Oh, but if he doesn’t make it, this Akito person might be really sad…”

“It’ll be alright.” KAITO replied. “I’m the one who convinced him to take a break, so it falls on me. If anything, I’m sure if Tsukasa explains if he wakes up in time, there’ll be no harm done.”

“Maybe we can have one of the others explain?” Miku suggested.

“Do any of them have Toya’s number though?” MEIKO asked. 

“I think Rui does.” KAITO replied, looking a bit uncomfortable at the mention of Rui. “But he’s still asleep, right MEIKO?”

“He is.” MEIKO confirmed. “I’ll go check on him after we get done revising the current draft of the script and see how he’s doing.” 

“Well, let’s get to it then!” Miku exclaimed, picking up her script papers.

“Yes, let’s.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MEIKO quietly opened the door to her room, leaving the light coming from the open door as the only source of light, scanning the room. She found Rui sprawled out on his back in the bed, one hand by his head while the other clutched the Phenny plush, comforter kicked to the bottom of the bed. She quietly chuckled as she walked over to the bed, clutching the comforter and tucking Rui back in before leaning back up, preparing to leave.

“Mm… MEIKO…?”

MEIKO looked back towards her bed, seeing Rui with his head up, drowsily staring at MEIKO. “Ah, I’m sorry for waking you, Rui. You can go back to sleep.”

Rui properly leaned himself up, but didn’t try to move his hair out of his face, far too tired for that, but not so tired that he didn’t register the worry on MEIKO’s face. “Did something happen? You look worried.”

“Well, it’s about Tsukasa…” MEIKO admitted. “But you can worry about that later. I can tell you still need sleep.”

Rui yawned, laying himself back down and snuggling up to the Phenny plush, already falling back asleep. “Tsukasa-kun…? Mm… Been worried…” The rest of Rui’s sentence trailed off as he fell asleep, his expression smoothing out.

MEIKO gave a fond chuckle, watching Rui for a few moments before leaving her room, gently shutting the door behind her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next time Rui woke up, it was a pleasant several hours later, as he saw when he unplugged his phone, leaving MEIKO’s room and making his way back to the stage.

“Ah, Rui! Sleep well?” MEIKO asked when she saw him, her and KAITO the only ones remaining on stage, script papers and office supplies surrounding the duo.

KAITO jumped when he heard Rui’s name, wincing when he saw him. “Hey, MEIKO, I’m going to go get more paper, I’ll be back.” He stood up, scurrying off backstage.

Rui watched, confused. “What’s going on with KAITO-nii?”

MEIKO sighed, gesturing for Rui to sit down, speaking once the boy did. “He blames himself for that time you dissociated.” 

“What?!” Rui asked, surprised. “Sure it uh, wasn’t my best moment, but I’ve had that issue long before we met you.”

“Well, the topic was centered around his depression when you did, so he blames himself for bringing up bad memories for you.” MEIKO explained. “He’s been jumpy at even the mention of you ever since. I don’t think he knows what to do with himself, or how to approach you right now.”

Rui frowned, looking down at his shoes. “It isn’t his fault. He didn’t know it was a sensitive topic.”

“He blames himself nonetheless.” MEIKO replied. “I think maybe if you told him you thought of him as a big brother, he might calm down some. You only ever refer to him as KAITO-nii when no one’s around, after all.”

“Ah, I just don’t want to trouble him.” Rui replied, embarrassed.

“I don’t think you could embarrass him or trouble him, Rui.” MEIKO said. “I think he’d be honored. KAITO, he…” MEIKO trailed off, trying to find the right words. “He’s only 18, and yet he has so much on his shoulders. Even with me as the co-leader of the troupe, he still takes on far more than I do. Taking care of the plushies, watering the singing flowers, maintaining the rides… I’ve tried to remove some of his burden, but so far all I’ve managed is helping with scripts, directing, and helping with you kids and the twins.”

“Hmm… you may be right, but he’s just been through such a huge revolution. I don’t think now’s a good time.” Rui replied. “I don’t want to give him conflicting feelings, and depression’s a fickle thing. He seems to have trouble believing positive words directed at him, so there’s a chance he wouldn’t believe me if I told him I thought of him as a big brother.”

“Perhaps you’re right.” MEIKO replied. “Oh, do you have Toya’s number?”

“I do. Why?” Rui asked.

“Remember Tsukasa talking about being invited to Akito’s birthday party this year?”

“At Weekend Garage? Yes. Did something happen to Tsukasa-kun?”

MEIKO sighed. “He overworked himself studying. Fell asleep talking to KAITO. Eye bags so bad the concealer he was wearing couldn’t even fully hide them, from what we were told. We figured Akito would feel better if he got an explanation why Tsukasa won’t be there, from what we’ve heard of Akito.”

“Ah, yes, Shinonome-kun probably would like an explanation, and so would Aoyagi-kun, since Aoyagi-kun is the one who invited Tsukasa-kun.” Rui replied, pulling out his phone and sending a text to Toya. “There, now Aoyagi-kun has been made aware of what happened. Hopefully he’ll tell Shinonome-kun quickly.”

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The party at Weekend Garage was in full swing when Toya’s phone went off. The group was in the middle of Akito opening presents, some from those present, and some from other musicians around Vivid Street who weren’t able to stop by, such as EVER, Soma, and Taiga. Toya picked up his phone, listening to the sounds of the party as he checked his messages. “Tsukasa-senpai what?!” He couldn’t help himself when he read the text, eyes widening.

“Ah, Aoyagi-kun, are you alright?” Kohane asked, gaining the attention of everyone who hadn’t started paying attention when Toya shouted.

“A-Ah, sorry Azusawa.” Toya apologized. “Kamishiro-senpai just sent me something rather alarming.”

“Alarming?” Kotaro asked. “What’d he send?”

Toya slid his phone onto the center of the table, letting everyone read it.

I apologize for the late notice, but it seems like Tsukasa-kun fell asleep after overworking himself studying for midterms. I’m unsure when he’ll wake up, but I don’t think it’ll be anytime soon. He might even sleep through the night. Please let Shinonome-kun know that Tsukasa-kun will give him his present the next time they see each other.

Ken, who’d come over to the table, hissed in sympathy. “Is this Tsukasa someone important to you, Toya?” He asked, noticing how worked up Toya had gotten over the text.

Toya nodded. “Tsukasa-senpai and Saki-san are my childhood friends. Tsukasa-senpai’s also the one who helped me realize I didn’t have to keep performing classical music for the rest of my life.”

Akito put the present he’d been in the middle of unwrapping down on the table, pulling Toya into a sudden hug. 

“A-Akito?!”

“Shut up and accept the hug.” Akito grumbled. “You clearly need it.”

Toya went to say something else, but decided not to, melting into the hug. “Tsukasa-senpai’s never gotten this bad before… He usually always takes breaks when studying…”

“I can drive you to see him after the party, if you’d like.” Ken offered.

“I’d like that. Thank you, Ken-san.” Toya replied, letting himself stay in Akito’s embrace for a few moments before he pulled away.

“It’s no problem at all. Now, there’s still presents to open, yes? If you don’t get through them, you’ll never get to the cake!” Ken laughed at his comment, ruffling Akito and Toya’s hair.

Akito grumbled as he straightened his hair out, but there was no real malice to it, and he quickly picked up the present he’d been in the middle of unwrapping.

“Ah, that present’s from EVER.” Ken said upon seeing which present Akito picked up.

Akito eagerly finished unwrapping the present, pausing when he saw what it was. “A-An improved Kashika outfit?!”

Kohane snapped a picture of Akito’s reaction.

“EVER got one ordered for each of us.” An explained. “We do perform Kashika frequently, so they said we needed professional outfits that would hold up to match, though they said they have nothing against Mizuki’s needlework. They quite admire it actually, but they said professional materials would hold up better than store bought materials with how intense our performances can get.”

“I can’t believe this… I know we’ve been talking about it, but to think they’d go through with the first outfit we chose to get improved…” Akito trailed off, gently folding the clothes and setting them back in the box from the shop they’d been made in. 

“We’ll definitely have to thank them later.” Kohane commented. “The shop did such a good job.”

“They really did.” Arata commented. “That outfit looks especially well made. Which one do you think you’ll improve next?”

“We haven’t talked about it yet, but I’d personally like to see our Shanti outfits improved.” An replied.

An was a devil, Akito decided. He knew that she knew he not only loved hearing Toya rap, but also seeing Toya in his Shanti outfit. “Shanti might be a good one, but wouldn’t Crazy also be good to improve on?”

“Oh you’re right!” Kotaro replied. “You guys could try some different cuts for the crop tops.”

“Or you could try improving your Blender outfits.” Arata suggested.

An and Arata were both devils, Akito decided, knowing that Arata knew how much he liked seeing Toya in his Blender outfit. So, he decided to put an end to the debate. “How about we get our Alter Ego outfits improved next? Some of the thread for the buttons is starting to fray.”

“That is a good idea.” Toya replied. “How about we go with that?”

“Okay!” An replied. “We’ll go with improving our Alter Ego outfits next.”

Akito reached for his next present.

“Ah, that’s from Soma.” Arata commented. “He didn’t tell me what it was though.”

“It’s certainly heavy.” Akito commented as he began to unwrap it. “W-Woah, a new synth?! How did he afford this?!”

“Soma did mention that his old videos were still making money… I’m assuming that’s how.” Arata replied. “Still, Shinonome-kun, a new synthesizer will serve you well. Weren’t you telling Toya the other day that you needed a new one?”

Akito turned to Toya. “Toya, did you put Soma up to this?”

“No.” Toya replied honestly. “He just asked what kind of things you liked, and I gave him a list of things we’d discussed recently.”

“Still, to think he’d choose the synth out of the entire list… I’ll have to thank him the next time we visit.” Akito commented, carefully sitting the synthesizer to the side.

The pattern of presents continued for a while like that, Akito receiving new clothes, shoes, CDs, the MDZS books he and Toya had been reading together whenever Akito was over at the Aoyagi’s house, at least he didn’t have to worry about Shinei having a thing against the series, unlike Harumichi, and plenty of new earrings, piercings, necklaces and rings. Akito paused when he reached Toya’s gift, surprised to see how small it was. “Toya…?”

“Go ahead, open it.” Toya commented.

Akito unwrapped the gift, surprised to see a ring box. “Toya, you didn’t…” He breathed the sentence out, barely believing what he was seeing.

Toya pulled an identical ring box out of his jacket, oblivious to the rest of the group paying rapt attention to the moment, opening the ring box to reveal a silver ring with an engraving of a snowflake on it. “Get you a promise ring? I did. I have one for me as well.” Toya knew he was blushing, and he could see Akito was as well as he opened Akito’s ring box, revealing an identical ring except with an engraving of fire on it instead of a snowflake.

Akito could feel tears start welling in his eyes as he stared at the rings, a large feeling of warmth filling his entire body, his voice shaky as he held out his ring to Toya. “Would you put it on for me…?”

“I’d love to.” Toya replied, his voice equally as shaky. He took Akito’s ring, then took Akito’s hand, carefully sliding Akito’s ring onto his ring finger, breath hitching as he took in the sight of the promise ring sitting neatly on Akito’s finger. “Do mine?”

Akito nodded, tears slipping down his face as he picked up Toya’s ring from its box, gently slipping it onto Toya’s finger, then launching himself at Toya, trapping the other boy in a desperate hug as he sobbed.

Toya returned the hug, overwhelmed with happiness. He stayed like that for as long as it took for Akito to calm down, and then the two pulled away from each other, looking at the rest of the group for the first time since the exchange began.

An was practically vibrating in her chair, Kohane had teared up, but she looked happy, and Kotaro, Ken, and Arata were all smiling. “Congratulations, you two.” Arata commented, Kohane sending him the picture so he could show Soma next time he visited. “About time you promised each other forever.”

Akito blushed, sputtering, but everyone could tell he wasn’t truly mad. As the cake was brought out and Akito blew out the candles, all he could think about was how happy he was to have Toya.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ken’s van pulled up in front of the Tenma household, Toya getting out and thanking Ken for the ride. He watched as Ken drove off, then went to the door, unlocking it with the spare key he’d been given a couple months ago. Tsukasa-senpai… What am I gonna see when I get to him? Will he be alright? Is he still sleeping? It is pretty late… Maybe he already woke up but went back to sleep again. The party ran longer than expected, after all. But… giving that promise ring to Akito was worth it.

Toya let that happiness guide him into the genkan, where he took off his shoes, then made his way into the living room, noticing no one seemed to be at home. Ah, Saki-san must still be out with her band. They did say they had a gig today. He made his way up the stairs to Tsukasa’s room, knocking softly on the door. When he got no response, he opened the door, noticing the only source of light was Tsukasa’s desk lamp. “Tsukasa-senpai…?”

Toya stepped into the room, jumping when he accidentally kicked an energy drink can, taking a moment to properly process the situation. Tsukasa’s desk was still a mess, and so was his trash can, resulting in the overflow to the rest of his room. Tsukasa himself was still asleep in the armchair, but now, his position showed he’d been asleep for a while, the boy sprawled out as much as one could be sleeping in a chair, his phone fallen and abandoned on the floor by the chair. His happiness dissipated as he took in Tsukasa’s state, seeing the deep eye bags, the rumpled clothes, and the hair that was starting to tangle from how often Tsukasa had been messing with it while he was studying.

“Tsukasa-senpai…”

To my loving mom and dad, I’m sorry and I’m to blame

Knees weak and crumbling, thumb pressed and bitten away

To my brother, sister, and the rest, I’ll see you around

My soul is blackening, I’m breaking all of it down

Chapter Text

“Tsukasa-senpai…” Toya couldn’t believe what he was seeing, even as he uttered Tsukasa’s name, internally noticing how the other boy didn’t react, knowing that meant Tsukasa had lost far too much sleep, and his body had simply shut down. He went over to Tsukasa’s desk, noticing the absurd amount of printed out practice problems on it, kneeling down on the floor to study the numerous textbooks of varying levels of physics. Toya stood up, biting back a whimper at just how bad Tsukasa’s situation was, not liking seeing his older brother figure this way. What could’ve led Tsukasa-nii to do this…? Not even Akito reacts this badly when he fails a test. What happened…?

Toya’s head was starting to spin with how he was failing to keep his thoughts together, so he left Tsukasa’s room, going back down to the living room, sitting down on the couch and grabbing Tsukasa’s star plushie, hugging it as he tried to get his breathing under control. He’s overworked himself to the point of shutting down! He- He hasn’t been right in several days! How?! How did I miss this?! Was he… hiding it? But why? Tsukasa-nii knows he can talk to Saki-san and I! Toya could faintly register the fact that his breathing was audible now, desperately gripping his necklace and shirt in an attempt to calm down. I need… What do I need…? I-I can’t…. I can’t breathe! I can’t!

“...a!”

H-Huh? What was that…?

“T..a!”

I-I can’t… Tsukasa-nii’s-! He’s-!

“Toya!”

Toya jolted, looking around for the source of the voice. “W-Who…?”

“Toya! You called me, remember?”

“A-Aki?” Toya asked.

Akito sighed in relief on the other side of the line, though his heart was breaking at how Toya sounded, hearing how the duo haired singer was still hyperventilating. “Yeah, yeah it’s me. Did something happen to Tsukasa-senpai?”

Toya gasped, barely keeping his grip on his phone, breaking down into sobs, which didn’t help his breathing.

“Woah, woah! Toya, easy. Come back to me, alright? Deep breaths?” Akito began to exaggerate his breathing, making sure Toya could hear it.

Toya tried to follow along with Akito, but he couldn’t take in a deep enough breath, coughing harshly instead. “A-Aki!”

“Easy, easy, I’m on my way.” Akito replied, the sound of shoes against pavement reinforcing that fact. “Just keep trying to breathe for me, yeah? Think you can do that?”

Toya gulped, nodding, uncaring that Akito couldn’t hear him, trying to regulate his breathing once again with a bit more success.

“Alright, alright, I’ll be there in about five minutes.” Akito commented once he noticed Toya’s breathing starting to calm down. “What’s something you can see?”

Toya took a moment to register the comment, looking around. “T-The coffee table…?” His eyes were hazy and unfocused, and his voice sounded so far away to his ears.

“Good. Something you feel? Two minutes Toya, just two minutes, alright?”

It took longer for Toya to reply this time, his sense of touch failing him. “U-Um…” He looked down, only registering how Tsukasa’s star plushie felt when he saw it. “Soft…”

“Soft? A pillow?”

“I think…”

“Alright, alright, that’s good. Can you let me in, I’m at the door.”

Toya practically jumped up when he heard those words, nearly falling as he unsteadily made his way to the front door, flinging it open and collapsing into Akito’s arms as soon as he laid eyes on the ginger.

“Toya, wait, don’t do that, we’re gonna fall!” Akito cried, his core strength being the only reason he didn’t fall as he hung up the call. 

Toya simply snuggled into Akito’s chest as he sobbed, letting out the panic coursing through his system. He didn’t know how much time passed, unaware of the growing wet spot on Akito’s shoulder, nor the change in location as Akito guided him back to the couch.  He simply felt the fog closing in and didn’t fight it, letting the numbness carry him away.

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Akito jolted when he felt Toya go limp. “Toya…?” When he got no answer, he lifted Toya’s head, noticing Toya’s distant and unfocused gaze. “Oh for God’s sake…” He grumbled as he adjusted Toya’s position so Toya’s head would be laying in his lap, the rest of Toya’s body on the couch. “Tsukasa-senpai, you better have a very good reason for freaking my partner out like this.” He pulled his phone out, opening his messaging app and going to his messages with Rui.

From: Akito

hey

come to Tsukasa-senpai’s house

now

From: purple weirdo

oya?

it’s not everyday you text me on your own, Shinonome-kun

did something happen?

From: Akito

my partner’s panicked so bad he shut down

because your idiotic friend did something to set him off

come

now

From: purple weirdo

don’t move Aoyagi-kun from whatever position you have him in now

let him come back on his own terms

i’ll be there in fifteen minutes

From: Akito

you better be

Akito sighed, deciding to scroll through TikTok in the meantime, the minutes passing feeling like an eternity as he scrolled through videos on his feed of people cutting soap, making slime, playing with play doh and the like, any ASMR video he could think of that would help him calm down. He heard the sound of the door opening, looking up to see Rui, whose hair and clothes looked disheveled, as if he had run the entire way to Tsukasa’s house, raising an eyebrow. “Did you run all the way here?” Akito pocketed his phone as he asked, waiting for Rui to catch his breath.

Rui walked over to the couch when he caught his breath, his expression uncharacteristically serious. “Of course I did. Something’s wrong with Tsukasa-kun, enough to put Aoyagi-kun into a dissociative episode. I’d like to find out what. Stay here with Aoyagi-kun. He shouldn’t be alone right now. I’ll go check on Tsukasa-kun.” Rui walked away to the stars, slowly climbing them, worried about what he’d find on the other side of the door. He stood with his hand on Tsukasa’s doorknob for a minute, collecting his thoughts before he opened the door, pausing when he saw the sight on the other side. “Oh… Oh, Tsukasa-kun…”

Rui went over to the armchair, kneeling in front of Tsukasa and gently brushing his bangs out of his eyes, watching Tsukasa’s face scrunch up before relaxing again, the star well and truly out. He stood up, going over to Tsukasa’s bed and pulling the comforter back. At least he’s finally getting the rest he needs… But, I wish it wouldn’t be from overworking himself… He shook his head to dispel the thoughts, going back to the armchair and gently scooping Tsukasa up, pausing when the latter stirred. “Tsukasa-kun?”

Tsukasa didn’t answer, unconsciously melting against Rui’s chest, his head drooping against where Rui’s heart was.

Rui remained still for a few moments, making sure Tsukasa wasn’t waking up before he carefully went over to Tsukasa’s bed, depositing the star on it and pulling the comforter up over him, then picking Tsukasa’s phone up from the floor and plugging it in, putting it on Tsukasa’s nightstand.

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Toya couldn’t focus. Everything around him felt fuzzy, and his vision was blurry. He faintly registered being on someone’s lap, but it wasn’t important, so he ignored it, sinking deeper into the fog.

“He’s been like this for a long time now.”

“I’ll admit, it does worry me. Aoyagi-kun may simply just be processing what Tsukasa-kun has never let him see, but seeing such an extreme state as his first exposure was probably too much for him.”

Voices…? No… There’s nothing here… Toya let out an internal sigh, faintly registering the purple blob in his vision start moving.

“Kamishiro-senpai?”

“I’m getting some ice. It may help bring him back.”

“Ice?”

“It has to do with physical sensation. He hasn’t been reacting to you carding your fingers through his hair because it’s a relaxing sensation. If he feels cold, a harsh sensation, it should be enough to shock him back to reality.”

The purple blob moved out of Toya’s field of vision, the faint sound of footsteps indicating that it was walking. There was the extremely faint sound of something opening, things being moved around, and then things being closed, footsteps again, and then the purple blob again.

“Why is it wrapped in a towel?”

“The goal is to help Aoyagi-kun, not freeze my own hands. He’ll get it without the towel.”

A cold sensation, one he didn’t register at first, before it suddenly turned harsh, and he tried weakly jerking away. “St…p… C’ld…” Toya muttered, the fight leaving him as soon as he felt the grip on his hand release, and his hand opened as his body went limp again, the ice cube slipping out of it.

“Toya, can you look at me?”

Toya didn’t register the question at first, but when he did, he looked up, seeing a blob that he faintly placed in the back of his head as Akito, his gaze lazily sliding back down to the floor.

“Nuh uh, I know you can hear me.” Akito retorted. “Look at Kamishiro-senpai. Is that easier?”

It took a moment, but Toya’s gaze slid to Rui, far easier than it had to Akito, though Rui only looked like a purple blob.

“Good, that’s good. Kamishiro-senpai’s gonna ask you some questions, alright?” Akito asked.

The duo waited, carefully waiting for Toya’s reaction, a grim expression on Rui’s face as he watched Toya slowly nod. 

“Alright, Aoyagi-kun, what color is this?” Rui asked, picking up Tsukasa’s star plush and holding it up in front of him.

Toya jolted, not properly registering the question, gaze sliding back down to the floor until Akito tapped his cheek, causing him to look up again.

“The color, partner.” Akito repeated. “What color is it?”

It took a moment, but Toya’s gaze slid to the star plush, though Toya didn’t answer until his vision cleared enough that everything didn’t look so much like just random blobs. “Light blue…?”

“Good, you’re doing good, Aoyagi-kun.” Rui replied, causing Toya to jolt again, the singer seemingly only able to register one person’s existence at a time. “Can you tell us what you were doing?”

Akito and Rui waited, Akito still carding his fingers through Toya’s hair, the duo worried they may have lost Toya again with how long it took him to answer before Toya’s face scrunched up in confusion, although his stare was still blank.

“Wanted to tell ‘Kasa-nii something, I think…” Toya replied, missing the first syllable of Tsukasa’s name.

“Yeah?” Akito asked. “What’d you want to tell him?”

Toya’s gaze slid down to his hand, staring at his ring. 

Rui noticed, commenting. “I’ve never seen that ring before. Is it new?”

Akito looked down at his own hand, blushing as he answered. “It is. Toya here got us promise rings.”

“Promise rings? Well, you two have my congratulations.” Rui replied. “Aoyagi-kun, did you want to show your promise ring to Tsukasa-kun?"

Toya nodded, a little more clarity returning to his eyes. “Yeah…”

“What happened when you came to tell Tsukasa-kun? What were you doing?” Rui asked.

“I was… I went up to his room, and when I opened the door… I saw how bad his room was… How bad he was…” Toya’s breath hitched, and he quickly stopped talking.

“Easy, it’s alright.” Akito replied. “Are you back with us, Toya?”

“Back…?” Toya asked, confused.

“Aoyagi-kun, you just experienced a severe dissociative episode.” Rui replied, expression still grim, but looking slightly uncomfortable at the same time. “Those don’t come out of nowhere. Is it related to your childhood?”

“I think so?” Toya replied. “I’m not sure. Whenever I had to practice on my own, the hours would breeze by so fast I wasn’t even sure that time had actually passed until my fingers were aching. Then I’d look up and it’d be dinner time.”

“There’s definitely trauma there, Aoyagi-kun. And a lot of it.” Rui replied. “How many years did this occur?” Rui waited for an answer, surprised when he got none. “Aoyagi-kun?”

Akito looked down, using the hand that wasn’t carding through his partner’s hair to brush his bangs out of his face, giving a small, fond smile when he saw what was going on. “Ah, he fell asleep…”

“Fufu, he does need it.” Rui quietly chuckled. “I’m glad he’s calmed down. Now all we can do is wait for Tsukasa-kun to wake up. Would you like something to eat in the meantime, Shinonome-kun?”

“It won’t be poisoned, will it?” Akito asked.

Rui fake pouted. “Shinonome-kun, you wound me! Do you not trust my culinary skills?”

Akito sighed, grumbling. “Just go make the food, Kamishiro-senpai.”

Rui chuckled, moving to the kitchen to start cooking.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tsukasa woke to the smell of food wafting through the house, laying in his bed as he tried to place what had happened, sitting up once he felt less tired, though he was still generally exhausted. He just couldn’t find it in himself to go back to sleep when his stomach was reminding him of its existence. He stood up, stretching, his back and neck cracking as he did so. I must’ve been asleep for a while… I only intended fifteen minutes too… I’m so behind, but I have to eat first, otherwise Saki will get worried… Tsukasa moved again, picking up his phone from his nightstand before pocketing it, making his way downstairs, pausing at the sight of Akito and Toya asleep on the couch. What are they doing here…? He kept moving, stopping in the kitchen where he noticed Rui cooking something on the stove. “Rui…?”

Rui turned, pausing stirring the sauce for the curry he was making. “Ah, Tsukasa-kun, you’re awake! It’s been a while, but the curry’s almost ready.”

“When did you get here?” Tsukasa asked, attempting to fix his hair with his hands. 

“I got here a couple of hours ago. I’m not sure how long Shinonome-kun and Aoyagi-kun were here before Shinonome-kun texted me though.” Rui replied, going back to stirring the sauce for the curry. “Aoyagi-kun didn’t take well to finding you in the state we did. Passed out on your armchair, surrounded by clear signs of overwork…” Rui sighed, frowning. “It sent him into a panic attack, and then a dissociative episode. He fell asleep after he came back to himself, and it seems Shinonome-kun followed shortly after I decided to make food. To be fair though, Shinonome-kun has always taken every chance he can get to take a nap.”

“Toya saw me…?” Tsukasa asked, frowning. “I wasn’t expecting him over today, but he was never supposed to see me like this…”

“Regardless of whether he was supposed to see you like this or not, he has.” Rui replied. “I know you never wanted him to, but because you’ve never shown him that you can struggle, he took seeing you at your worst very badly, Tsukasa-kun.” Rui turned off the stove, getting out the plates, then plating the rice and pouring the sauce over half of the rice. 

“Ah, Rui!” Tsukasa exclaimed. “You were already nice enough to cook while I was out, I can do the rest!” The cold stare that Tsukasa was met with made him shiver.

“Nonsense, Tsukasa-kun. You still need rest.” Rui replied, beginning to move the plates to the table, taking out the cutlery and glasses as he spoke again. “You still have heavy bags under your eyes, and you quite literally worked until you passed out, so no, you’re not fine.”

“A-Actually…” Tsukasa began, “KAITO visited me, and we were talking about the show they’re developing. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, let alone for so long. KAITO promised me just fifteen minutes of my time, and I could get back to work.”

“Clearly, your body said otherwise.” Rui retorted, pulling a pitcher of grapefruit juice out of the fridge and pouring it in the glasses. He was upset, no, more than upset. He was upset, worried, and frightened, all in the same vein, and Tsukasa’s unwillingness to see where he went wrong wasn’t helping.

“Why are you being so cold?” Tsukasa asked.

“I’m being cold?” Rui asked, quite harshly. “Tsukasa-kun, you neglected your own health to the point of throwing the man who looks up to you as a brother into such an awful state!”

“I-I did not!” Tsukasa replied.

“Yes, you did!” Rui shouted, raising his voice. “I’ve barely seen hide nor hair of you the past few days! You haven’t even shown up for practice! And then Aoyagi-kun comes over, finds you, panics, alerts Shinonome-kun, who comes over to calm his partner down, and alerts me! I’m the one who had to put you to bed! I’m the one who had to help Shinonome-kun get Aoyagi-kun out of his episode! So don’t tell me you’re not neglecting your health!”

“I told you I needed to pass physics!” Tsukasa shouted, also raising his voice. “I’m doing what I have to in order to pass so I don’t affect our schedule!”

“You know we don’t mind making the alterations!” Rui replied. “And do you really think killing yourself is the best way to go about passing physics?!”

“I’m not killing myself!”

“Yes, you are! You passed out from exhaustion, you’ve drank too many energy drinks to be healthy, you’re literally killing yourself over a grade! Can’t you see what’s wrong with that picture!”

Tsukasa found himself moving before he could process he was even doing so, a slap resounding through the room. “God, Rui, you’re making a big deal out of- Rui?” He paused, seeing how Rui was looking shocked, holding his cheek. “Did I…?”

“God, will you two shut up?!”

Tsukasa and Rui turned to the living room to see Akito and Toya standing there, Akito looking angry, and Toya looking distressed.

“Your little argument, senpais, woke us up.” Akito grumbled. “So, do us both a favor, and shut up! You’re only freaking Toya out.” 

“W-Wait, Kamishiro-senpai, your face…” Toya breathed.

“Ah, that?” Rui asked, a bit shaken. “Just… a little accident. The food’s ready now, so let’s just eat and I’ll take care of it when I get home, okay?”

“Kamishiro-senpai, I’m not going to let this go, especially not when the argument seems to have gotten physical. Tsukasa-senpai, what were you thinking?!” Akito asked, whirling his anger onto Tsukasa.

“I-It was heat of the moment!” Tsukasa replied, seeming just as shaken as Rui for having actually slapped someone. “Look, let’s just… let’s just eat. Please…”

“But-!”

“Akito…” Toya sounded so defeated, it physically pained Akito to hear that tone.

Akito sighed, frowning. “Alright, we can eat. But, Tsukasa-senpai, we are coming back to this later at some point after everyone’s had some time to cool down, and after you’ve gotten some more rest. You’re clearly exhausted, and that’s not helping you think straight.” 

Tsukasa sighed, sitting down at the table, as far from Rui as he could, digging into his food, letting his silence be his answer. He wasn’t going to be discussing it anytime soon.

It’s not a joke! Don’t eat my dreams away! It throbs, throbs, throbs

I sang all my chic despair-taratta

Even if I’ll become a shadow of my former self, it throbs, throbs, throbs

Someday it’ll become a lovely song

Sa-sa-sa-sa-Samsa

Chapter Text

Rui and Tsukasa had been avoiding both each other and Akito for the past two weeks, and Akito was ready to kill both of them. He saw how Rui went around with a plaster on his swollen cheek to both hide the wound and try to reduce the swelling, oh so unhelpfully reminded of when he’d punched Toya, a thing he’d always ignored resolving past when Toya had admitted that he did want to be Akito’s partner, and that he just thought it would be better off if Akito wasn’t held back by someone with weak resolve. “Geh, Kamishiro-senpai and Tsukasa-senpai are really starting to tick me off…” He grumbled as he and Toya walked to school, Akito’s backpack slung over one shoulder, the picture of messiness, while Toya wore his properly, the picture of cleanliness. Two opposites that somehow managed to find each other and connect.

“Tsukasa-senpai didn’t seem very willing to talk when we started eating.” Toya replied, reluctantly recalling that day. “I don’t know what all the shouting was about, but you said Tsukasa-senpai hit Kamishiro-senpai?”

“Ah, that’s right, you wouldn’t know.” Akito replied. “Still, partner, you okay? I know you woke up later than me, but you woke up at the worst part of the argument.”

“It… it’s left some troubled feeling in my chest, I will admit.” Toya replied. “But, I’ll be fine for now. MEIKO told me I could come talk to her later.”

“Well… if you’re sure.” Akito replied, hesitant. “But still, those two need to grow a backbone. Seriously, even you and I didn’t take as long to make up once we actually interacted with each other again.”

“Tsukasa-senpai has never liked people seeing him hurt.” Toya mused. “We all saw him hurt, and I have a feeling Kamishiro-senpai tried to discuss it with him, and Tsukasa-senpai reacted badly.” Toya swore his own cheek felt like it was throbbing as he remembered his and Akito’s fight, making a mental note to properly discuss their fight, although he knew it would more than likely inevitably get put to the wayside. “I… have to admit that my reaction didn’t help.”

“As much as I hate agreeing with Kamishiro-senpai, you have trauma, Toya. It’s only natural you’d react badly to something like that.” Akito stopped, turning to face Toya, causing the latter to stop as well. “I’m beginning to think Tsukasa-senpai has trauma as well.”

“Tsukasa-senpai has trauma?” Toya asked, visibly confused. “From what?”

“You know his childhood better than I do, Toya.” Akito grumbled. 

Toya shook his head, resuming the walk so the two wouldn’t be late for school, since it was the day of midterms. “Whenever I was there, Tenma-san was there, and sometimes Saki-san was there, so Tsukasa-senpai never had to worry about anything. We always spent our time watching his shows, eating Tenma-san’s sweets, playing the piano, or watching cartoons and movies on the television.”

Akito frowned, noticing how they’d almost arrived at Kamiyama. “Hmm… We’ll have to come back to this later. We’re here.”

Toya looked up, surprised. “Ah, time really does fly by fast. And today’s midterms as well. I hope Tsukasa-senpai will be alright, especially since he never promised to stop overworking himself before we left that night.”

Akito nodded. “Yeah. I’ll see you during lunch break.” He walked off, Toya watching him go.

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Tsukasa found himself sitting in his physics class that afternoon, worse for wear. It had taken him double the usual time to get ready that morning in order to make himself presentable, mainly by brushing his hair and caking a bunch of concealer and foundation on his face to completely hide his eye bags. He was barely keeping himself awake, and he knew he’d regret the three cups of coffee he’d rapidly downed later on that day, but he didn’t care. He listened as the teacher spoke, though everything was going over his head, sounding like it was muffled underwater. He only snapped out of it when a test packet was placed on his desk, flipped to the backside so no one could see the questions ahead of time.

“Once I give the word to flip over your test packet, you have two hours to complete your test. Please bring it to me when you are done, and after that, you will be free to leave for the day.” The physics teacher, Yoru Sakuhi, talked as he walked around the classroom, distributing the test packets and formula sheets around the room. “The formula sheets are to be used as a last resort. You must mark if you had to use the formula sheet on a question.” Mr. Sakuhi made his way to his desk, sitting down. “If you are caught cheating, you will be sent to the teacher’s office, where the principal, vice principal, or disciplinary teacher will mete out the appropriate punishment. Now, pencils up.”

Tsukasa grabbed his pencil, nervous about how he’d do.

“And, begin!”

The sound of flipping paper followed by pencils scratching on paper filled the room, Tsukasa writing his name down on the test packet before he looked at the first problem.

Problem 1: A small ball is dropped from the top of a building 100 meters high. Ignoring air resistance, calculate the time it takes for the ball to reach the ground, given that the acceleration due to gravity is 9.8 m/s².

Ignoring air resistance? Tsukasa thought, grimacing. Hmm, but if you ignore air resistance, I just divide 100 meters by 9.8 meters and then square it, and I should have my answer of the time it took. Tsukasa quickly got to work, scribbling out his answer, pleased he didn’t have to use the formula sheet. Things continued in a similar fashion, students slowly finishing their tests and leaving the classroom as the time came closer and closer to ending.

“Fifteen minutes remaining!”

Tsukasa jolted, brought out of his concentration by Mr. Sakuhi’s announcement, but he shook it off, looking back down at his paper. He wasn’t pleased with how he had to use the formula sheet on most of the questions despite how much he’d studied, but he knew he couldn’t complain when it would get him the grade he needed, so he diligently finished the last of the problems, taking his test up to the teacher’s desk. “Mr. Sakuhi, I’ve finished.”

Mr. Sakuhi looked up from the test he was grading. “Ah, Tenma. Go ahead and put it on the pile. Then, feel free to pack up and leave for the day.”

Tsukasa nodded, giving a short bow. “Thank you sensei.” He returned to his seat, packing his things up before leaving his classroom, hurrying down the second year hallway so he wouldn’t have to interact with Rui. 

“Oi, Tsukasa-senpai!”

Tsukasa stopped, looking around to see who called for him. “Eh? Akito? Toya? What are you two doing down the second year hallway?”

“We came to talk to you.” Akito replied, looking annoyed. “You’ve been avoiding all of us for two weeks now. Well, no way you can avoid us now when we’ve met you in your hallway.”

Tsukasa grimaced. “I thought you two would still be in exams.”

“The first years finish a little sooner than the second years because our exams aren’t as difficult.” Toya explained. “So as soon as we finished, we met up and walked over here. Please, Tsukasa-senpai, talk to us. We can see how much you’ve been struggling ever since your fight with Kamishiro-senpai.”

Tsukasa grimaced again. “There’s nothing to discuss.”

“I have to disagree with you.” Akito replied. “Tsukasa-senpai, as much as you two aggravate me sometimes, you haven’t seen or spoken to Kamishiro-senpai in two weeks. That’s unusual considering you two are practically joined at the hip.”

“Look, can we just drop it?” Tsukasa asked. “There’s really nothing to talk about, and I need to get to practice.”

“The thing is, Tsukasa-senpai, you don’t go to practice.” Toya commented, surprising both Akito and Tsukasa. “I’ve seen you. You’ll head for the direction of your house instead of the direction for PXL.”

“Toya, I’m fine, really.” Tsukasa protested.

“Oh, stop kidding yourself, Tsukasa-senpai!” Akito shouted, somehow not drawing the attention of the other classrooms, which were mostly empty anyway, most of the second years done with their exams. “You’ve been going down hill for weeks now, and it’s pretty obvious to everyone around you but yourself!”

“A-Ah, Akito, maybe you’re going a bit too far…?” Toya suggested, flinching a bit at how loud Akito was getting.

Akito practically exploded at that comment. “No! You don’t get to talk right now, Toya! Tsukasa-senpai is being an idiot, and he needs to know how much of an idiot he’s being! Tsukasa-senpai, all you’re doing is dragging yourself and those around you down by behaving like this! Can’t you see?!”

“What does it matter to you?!” Tsukasa replied, also shouting. “I studied as hard as I did so I could pass my physics midterm! You don’t have to study as hard, so you know nothing about what I have to do for the grades I have!”

“Of course I know!” Akito shouted. “What do you think I have to do for math and English?!”

“Oya? What’s with all the… ah…”

The group turned to see who’d come down the hallway, each in various states of surprise at seeing Rui.

“A-Ah, Kamishiro-senpai.” Toya replied. “We’re terribly sorry if we disturbed any of the exams going on around us.”

Rui sighed, not even bothering to try to joke around. “It’s no trouble Aoyagi-kun, really. But I must be going now.” Rui slipped past the group, giving the group a good look at his state, the swelling gone down enough that he didn’t need a plaster anymore, though he still had a bruise, and his expression was worryingly blank. 

“I’m going home.” Tsukasa muttered, pushing past Akito and Toya and making his way out of the second year hallway. 

Akito sighed, grumbling under his breath before he spoke again, turning to face Toya as he did so. “Oi, Toya, you ready to- Toya?”

Toya, for once, was fully expressing himself, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as his lip wobbled, desperately trying to hold back his tears. “I’m going to head out as well…” He turned, shoulders shaking as he did so.

“W-Wait, Toya!”

But Toya didn’t wait, taking off into a sprint out of the school, leaving Akito standing there alone.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MEIKO was just cleaning some cups when the door slammed open so hard it made her drop the cup she was cleaning, the cup shattering on the ground as she looked up to see the source of the disturbance. “Toya?!”

Toya rubbed his face with his sleeve, sitting down at the counter. “Ah, M-MEIKO, my apologies for this…”

“Oh, Toya no! You have nothing to apologize for.” MEIKO replied, quickly getting a broom and dustpan to sweep up the broken cup. “More importantly, are you alright?”

“I don’t know…” Toya admitted. “Aki and I… We-!” Toya finally let the tears fall, burying his face in his arms and sobbing.

MEIKO reacted quickly, moving around the counter to rub Toya’s back, shushing him. “It’s okay… It’s okay… Let it out… What happened…?”

“‘Kasa-nii’s been doing bad! S-So Akito and I tried intervening, but ‘Kasa-nii didn’t want to and-!” Toya cut himself off again, whimpering. Everything felt like too much. His clothes, his tears, where he was sitting, everything. It was all just Too Much, and he couldn’t handle it.

“Alright, alright, you don’t have to tell me right now.” MEIKO replied. “How about I get you a coffee, yeah? Then, you can rest in the break room for as long as you need.”

Toya nodded, feeling how MEIKO stopped rubbing his back to step back around the counter, the scent of brewing coffee soon filling the air. “Aki was just so loud and-! And it hurt! And Kamishiro-senpai’s hurt, and ‘Kasa-nii’s hurt! And I don’t like it!”

“You don’t like it?” MEIKO asked, surprised.

Toya shook his head. “I don’t like seeing my friends and family hurt…” He admitted, frowning. “I-It hurts… After all I went through, all I’m still learning to process, and this hurt feeling in my chest is the worst of it.”

“It’s alright. You’re sad, Toya. You’re upset. And that’s alright.” MEIKO replied, pouring Toya his cup of black coffee and setting it in front of the boy. “One day, you’ll be able to recognize and express all of your emotions freely, and it’ll be a beautiful thing. The hurt is new, so it feels overwhelming, especially when things become too much, right?”

Toya nodded, finally sitting up properly to take a sip of his coffee.

“Well, drink your coffee, and I’ll take you to the break room when you’re done. You can take a nap there and recharge a bit. One of us will come to wake you if you’re needed.”

Toya didn’t respond, sipping his coffee while scrolling through the comments of the official Vivid BAD SQUAD Twitter page, spending the next half hour that way. Once he finished his coffee, he pocketed his phone, standing up.

MEIKO took the cup, putting it in the sink before coming around the counter once more. “Alright, follow me this way.” She led Toya back around the counter, through the kitchen into a small back hallway that had a couple doors at the end. She opened the door directly in front of her, revealing a small room with a couch, fridge, coffee table, and TV mounted to the wall, the remote for the TV on the coffee table. There was also a counter with a microwave on it, and another coffee maker with a bag of ground coffee sitting beside it. The walls were a pleasant cream color, the couch a regular dark brown, and the coffee table interestingly made of maple wood.

Toya took a look around the room, already somewhat soothed by how calm it felt.

MEIKO went over to the counter, kneeling down to open one of the cabinets, pulling a pillow and blanket out of it before standing up, nudging the cabinet door closed with her foot, setting the pillow down on the couch.

Toya took the motion for what it was, slipping off his shoes and blazer, then undoing his tie, setting his tie and blazer on the coffee table, then laying down on the couch.

MEIKO laid the blanket over Toya, tucking him in. “You just sleep as long as you need, alright Toya? I’ll turn the light off so it’s not so harsh on your eyes.” MEIKO smoothed out Toya’s hair, waiting until Toya closed his eyes to move, walking over to the door and opening it, switching the light off before stepping out of the room, closing the door behind her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rin and Len had just arrived at the Ferris Wheel to ride it when they stopped in their tracks, noticing Rui sitting on a nearby bench, staring into space.

“Ah, Rui-kun?” Len asked, he and Rin approaching the bench.

Rui looked up, his eyes having no light to them. “Ah, Rin, Len, I didn’t see you there.”

“Rui-kun, are you alright?” Rin asked. “Do you wanna ride the ferris wheel with us?”

“Hmm… Okay.” Rui replied, standing up.

Len led the way to the Ferris Wheel, one of the cars coming to the bottom, the door opening after it stopped. He stepped in, then turned and helped Rin and Rui in, Rin sitting beside him, while Rui sat on the other side. “Rui-kun, are you sure you’re okay?”

Rui looked out the window, leaning against the wall of the car. “To be honest, I’m not sure.”

“We haven’t seen you here in almost a month!” Rin replied. “What’s been happening?”

“Well, we had midterms coming up, so we had to study.” Rui replied, tone as flat as his expression. “But, Tsukasa-kun and I haven’t been talking.”

“What?!” The duo exclaimed, shocked.

“But, you two haven’t had a period where you haven’t talked to each other since the formation of the troupe!” Len commented, eyes wide.

“Yes, well, Tsukasa-kun didn’t take my concern well. It turned into a fight, and he slapped me. I’ve been giving him space ever since.”

Rin frowned, uncharacteristically serious even as her rabbit ears seemed to droop. “I’m sure Tsukasa-kun didn’t mean to slap you. Has he ever been the type of person to get physical with someone?”

Rui shook his head. “No. That’s more Shinonome-kun’s thing. I think Tsukasa-kun reacted before he could register what he was doing, which meant he was coming from a place of great distress. I just can’t get myself to try and bring things up again. From the sound of things, Shinonome-kun and Aoyagi-kun tried again today, but from the shouting I heard on the way out of my classroom, it didn’t go anywhere.”

Len frowned. “Hmm… I’ll have to talk to MEIKO-san and KAITO-san, but it sounds like this could be related to Tsukasa-kun not remembering much of his childhood.”

“What do you mean by that?” Rui asked.

“One day, after the day Tsukasa got hurt practicing for the Halloween show, we asked MEIKO-san and KAITO-san why you were having such a hard time processing that Tsukasa was okay when Tsukasa himself wasn’t. MEIKO-san told us that Tsukasa being just fine could’ve been partially because it was just an accident, but also partially because he seems to have blocked out anything bad that happened during his childhood without realizing it, and continues to do so after a certain period of time passes after whatever the latest bad incident is. A defensive mechanism of sorts.”

“And in trying to break through that defensive mechanism, his body is instinctively putting him on edge.” Len continued. “Like how Miku-chan can do really crazy stunts without fear. It’s because her body doesn’t produce fear when she does the stunts according to KAITO-san. It produces adrenaline and sera… sera…”

“Serotonin?” Rui guessed.

“Yeah, that!” Len answered. “So Tsukasa’s body is doing the same, but in a different way! Instead of producing a way to remember the bad times, it’s instead producing a way to make him forget instead! And he only remembers with prompting, but never a whole lot of detail.”

“That is troublesome, but what do you expect me to do about it?” Rui asked, voice back to being cold. “Tsukasa-kun clearly doesn’t want help, or else we never would’ve fought. I’m better off leaving him alone.” He could see the car was close to approaching the ground again, so he readied himself to get off the Ferris Wheel. 

“But if you leave him alone, you two will never have the same bond again!” Rin protested.

“Maybe that’s for the best.” Rui replied, stepping out of the car once the door opened. “Goodbye Rin, Len.” He walked away, taking out his phone and pressing pause, disappearing in a shower of glitter and music notes.

“Rui-kun…”

So hurry up and bite down whoever you found

Game over, give it up now

Mayday, a double agent

Struggling over love and discontent

And here I wait for something

To twist the plot dramatically again

Oh you too, yes, yes, so take a deep breath

You know how this’ll all end

Head shot, we took it too far

But if you aim, go for the heart

We’re pulling at the boundary, unseen

A curtain dyed in black soon came to be

And knowing that those eyes are watching...

Chapter Text

Toya was woken by the feeling of fingers carding through his hair. He grumbled, pushing his face into the pillow to block out the light coming from the open door, hearing a fond chuckle.

“C’mon, Toya. You can sleep more at my place, practice is over.”

“Mmm… Wanna sleep…”

Another fond chuckle. “Geez, how much sleep have you gotten recently?”

Toya whined as the fingers stopped carding through his hair, peeling his eyes open to shoot a sleepy, disappointed look at the one responsible. “Mm… Aki…?”

Akito sighed, sitting down in front of the couch. “Geez, Toya. How much sleep have you had recently?”

Toya sighed, snuggling into the pillow, unwilling to get up. “Slept. Just not good.”

“Oh, Toya…” Akito looked down, frowning. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for yelling like that and setting you off earlier today. We can talk about it more later if needed, but you need to get up. Our old mans will kill us if we’re out too late.”

Toya shot a reluctant, pleading look at Akito, sighing when the ginger wouldn’t relent, finally sitting up, yawning and rubbing his eyes, then slipped his shoes back on, noticing Akito was holding his blazer and tie. 

“I’ve got your bag too.” Akito commented. “C’mon now. If you want more sleep before we get to my place, you can do it on the bus ride back.”

“We’re not walking?” Toya asked, stumbling his way out of the breakroom, still tired enough that his coordination was taking a hit.

Akito took Toya’s hand, leading him out to the main area of the cafe where An and Kohane were waiting.

“Shinonome-kun! Aoyagi-kun! You’re back!” Kohane said once she spotted the duo, giggling when she saw Toya. “I’m sorry Aoyagi-kun, but your hair is sticking up all over the place!”

An turned, laughing as well as she dug her hair brush out of her bag. “Here, you can use this to fix your hair before we leave. Are you feeling better now?”

Toya took the brush, sitting down at one of the tables before pawing at his hair with the brush, until Akito took the brush from him and began brushing his hair properly. “I am, yes. Thank you, Shiraishi. I’m sorry for missing practice.”

“It’s fine, Toya.” An replied. “Akito told us what happened, and we know you need time to rest when you get overwhelmed, so we didn’t mind.”

Toya hummed in response, closing his eyes as he felt the brush running through his hair, Akito gently working out any tangles. He slumped in the seat, relaxing. He wasn’t sure how long he sat like that, dozing as his hair was brushed. He felt someone keep pushing his head up before eventually, it was just pushed to rest against something, but he barely paid the movement any mind.

“Oi, Toya, I’m done.”

Toya reluctantly opened his eyes, seeing Akito clean out An’s brush before handing it back to her. “How long was I out…?”

“Not long.” Kohane replied. “Maybe ten to fifteen minutes at the most. You looked so comfortable when you dozed off, none of us wanted to wake you before Shinonome-kun finished with your hair.”

Toya stood up, taking Akito’s hand so when Akito paused the song, he’d be taken along with.

“Remember, we’re practicing at the park tomorrow.” An reminded the group.

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll be there.” Akito replied, pulling out his phone. He pressed pause, and he and Toya disappeared in a shower of glitter and music notes, reappearing in a hidden corner near Kamiyama. “Come on, the bus is twenty minutes away, and it’ll take us most of that walking there.”

The duo walked in silence, Akito leading Toya and keeping him steady, since Toya was still only half awake. The bus ride was spent in similar silence, Akito keeping an eye on Toya as he watched the other boy sleep with his head on his shoulder, only shaking Toya right before they got to their stop.

Toya rubbed his eyes as they got off the bus. “Maybe staying up to read that novel and worrying about Tsukasa-senpai is starting to get to me…”

“Yeah?” Akito replied. “No kidding. No all nighter for you tonight when we get there.”

Toya pouted, but he knew he couldn’t change Akito’s mind, so he stayed silent for the rest of the walk, watching as Akito unlocked the door to his house before they stepped into the genkan, taking their shoes off.

“And where have you been?”

Akito sighed, cursing under his breath as he led Toya into the living room, noticing Shinei on the couch. “I was at practice, dad. Like always. It just ran a little later because we needed to rest after practicing the new choreography before we came home so we didn’t fall asleep on the buses.”

“You still think you have a chance at that?” Shinei asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Dad, no one asked you. Come on Toya.” Akito led Toya up to his room, slamming the door behind the duo. “Ugh, he just- he makes me so mad sometimes!” Akito ranted once the door was shut, pacing around his room. “I already know I need to improve! I already know we should’ve perfected the choreography for One Sheep already! He doesn’t need to tell me!” Akito sighed, stopping his pacing, going over to his dresser and taking out some spare clothes that Toya had left over. “Here, you can have the bathroom first. Just don’t fall asleep in there or I won’t let you hear the end of it.”

Toya tiredly chuckled as he took the pajamas, going to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. He stripped out of his uniform, leaving it in a messy pile by the door, the next day was a Saturday anyway, and turned the water on in the shower, getting in. The heat felt pleasant against his muscles, and he found himself relaxing. Remembering Akito’s warning not to fall asleep in the bath, he decided to just stick with a shower, grabbing the shampoo that Akito had bought specifically for him, a nice, cherry blossom scent that he quite enjoyed, and began washing up. He was careful with his hair since Akito had already detangled it once, then rinsed his hair off, grabbing the conditioner meant for him and lathering that in his hair. While he waited for the conditioner to set so it could be rinsed off, he washed the rest of his body, then rinsed himself off, shutting the shower off and stepping out. He wrapped a towel around his hair, then dried himself off with another towel, getting dressed in the pajamas. He picked his uniform up, making his way back to Akito’s room.

Toya opened the door to see Akito sitting in his armchair, holding the pillow he had. “Akito, I’m done.”

Akito looked up, putting the pillow down. “Come here then, I’ll blow dry your hair and then get my shower.”

Toya nodded, walking over to Akito, sitting on the floor in front of the armchair.

Akito picked up the blow dryer, taking the towel off of Toya’s head before turning the blow dryer on, gently using his fingers to card through Toya’s hair in sections to make sure it dried evenly, turning the blow dryer off when it was fully dry. “Alright, you can do whatever you want and I’ll be back in fifteen to twenty minutes.” He watched as Toya nodded, then grabbed his own pajamas and went into the bathroom. He took his shower quickly, stepping out and wrapping a towel around his hair, drying himself off with another towel before putting his pajamas on. Akito made his way to his room, grabbing the blow dryer and repeating the process he’d used on Toya for his own hair, noticing out of the corner of his eye how Toya was already laying in his bed, trying to stay awake long enough to watch him.

Akito flicked off the blow dryer once his hair was dry, setting it down and climbing into his bed beside Toya, pulling the blanket up over the both of them. It didn’t take either boy long to drift off to sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next week saw Tsukasa practicing in his room. “Why do we have to fight each other?! Dad… please don’t make me do this!” Tsukasa paused the recording, picking up his phone. “Yes, that felt good. Let’s see how it looks on video…” Tsukasa studied the recording, frowning. “Hmm… something seems off, even after Rui went through all the trouble of translating this for me back then. The show we saw at Riley Dream Park felt so much more powerful and compelling.” Tsukasa thought back on the show, remembering how he was blown away by how good the Riley Dream Park cast members were.

Not only were the leads in their element, the other cast members were also just as spectacular. If I’m going to have any hope of becoming a world famous star, I’ll have to find a way to raise my acting ability to at least their level… “Alright, reset my phone and try again!” Tsukasa reset the recording, trying the lines again before pausing the recording. “How’s that?! I must’ve nailed that one! Let’s take a look!” Tsukasa grabbed his phone, reviewing the recording. “No! All wrong! My delivery sounds so unrefined and lacks any kind of depth. How can I match what I saw that time? Hmm… Alright, again!”

Tsukasa said the first line before being interrupted.

“Onii-chan, keep it down! We can hear you from the living room!”

“What?! Sorry!” Tsukasa replied.

“Since you sound stuck, come on down so we can talk to you!” Ah, that was Tsukasa’s father, his parents home for the week to see Saki’s upcoming concert, one he wouldn’t be able to attend due to having practice that day.

“Coming!” Tsukasa paused the recording, deleting it with a sigh before pocketing his phone, walking to his door. “This isn’t going as well as I’d hoped…” He made his way downstairs to the living room, sitting down. “Dad? What did you need?”

“Well, since your mother and I are home, we decided to check on your midterm grades. Do you have the test packets back yet?”

“Ah, I do actually.” Tsukasa replied.

“Go get them for us dear.” Tsukasa’s mother demanded.

“Of course! Be right back!” Tsukasa rushed back to his room, getting into his backpack and grabbing his test packets, quickly returning to the living room and handing his packets over to his parents.

Tsukasa’s parents took the time to look at the test packets, pausing at the physics packet. “Marina, do you see this?” Tsukasa’s dad asked.

“Yes Katsuo, I do.” Marina replied.

“What is it?” Tsukasa asked, the tension filling the room making him nervous.

Katsuo cleared his throat, flipping through each packet. “85% in contemporary literature, 78% in Japanese classics, 92% in kambun, 90% in social studies, 70% in mathematics, 74% in English, 97% in P.E., 99% in home economics, 82% in music, 76% in art, and 83% in moral studies. Your physics grade is 70%. While your other classes could use some improvement, your math grade didn’t improve at all, and your physics grade barely improved. I expect better notes by next month, or you’re being sent to cram school.”

“C-Cram school?! Mom, dad, that’ll cut into practice time!” Tsukasa protested.

“Well, unless your grades improve, you’ll have to cut down your working hours or quit. It’s as simple as that. Do you understand?” Marina asked her son.

Tsukasa fought back the urge to frown, keeping his tone neutral. “I understand. If that’s all, I’ll go up to my room and do my homework.” Once he got confirmation, he took his test packets back, heading up to his room and shutting the door behind him. “Cut down my working hours or quit? I can’t, but if mom and dad demand it…”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wonderlands x Showtime was gathered at Wonder Stage the next day, standing in front of Keisuke and Shosuke while they waited to see what their next ambassadorial performance would be.

“Now that we’re all here, I’ll start explaining more about your next show assignment as ambassadors.” Keisuke started. He noticed how Tsukasa and Rui weren’t standing next to each other like usual, but since the younger duo seemed to be behaving normally, he brushed it off.

“Question! Where are we going next?” Emu asked, bouncing in place excitedly.

“These discussions feel really commonplace now.” Nene commented.

“Hehe. I think it’s exciting to hear from them since we always get to go somewhere new with each show.” Rui replied.

“Anyway, what’s our next destination?” Tsukasa asked, pointedly ignoring Rui’s comment, though he did notice how the bruise on Rui’s face wasn’t anywhere in sight, likely hidden by concealer since he knew from school that it still hadn’t faded completely, although it was almost faded. 

“The Special Stage at Central City Park…” Keisuke began, but before he could continue, he was cut off.

“The Special Stage at Central City Park?!” Tsukasa shouted.

“I know that place!” Emu exclaimed. “It’s that really, really big stage at the really, really big park, right?!”

“Yes.” Tsukasa replied, nodding. “It’s also a place where world famous stars performed when they were just starting out! And we, at long last, get to perform there.”

Keisuke cleared his throat, regaining the troupe’s attention. “Well, that was the original plan… Unfortunately, it has to undergo renovations starting next week to mend any age-related wear and tear.”

“Huh?” Tuskasa asked.

“As a result, you’ll be performing in the music hall located near the Special Stage.”

“But…”

“Why do you sound so disappointed?” Nene asked. “That music hall’s pretty big, on top of being really nice.”

Tsukasa seemed to wilt then and there. “I know… but my expectations skyrocketed just now and… Guh…”

“The music hall eh…?” Rui mused, once again ignoring Tsukasa’s comment. “We have been performing outside for so long now, so this could be a nice chance to try new things.”

“I agree.” Shosuke said. “They even said you can borrow any of their props as long as you ask in advance.” Shosuke took a packet out of the folder he was carrying, handing it to Rui. “Here’s their inventory list. If anything catches your eye, I say ask and see what they think.”

Rui studied the packet, flipping through it. “Thank you. Ah, they’ve made some of their instruments available to us…” Rui continued flipping through the packet, quickly becoming lost in his own world, muttering.

“Anyway,” Nene began, “now that we know where we’ll be performing and what we can use, let’s start thinking about what we’re gonna do.”

“Yeah!” Emu cheered. “Thanks Shosuke-nii, Keisuke-nii!”

“We’ll see you at home later on, Emu.” Keisuke replied, the two elder Otoris walking off soon after.

“Let’s get going and see Miku and the others then!” Emu said once the two were both out of sight and out of ear shot. “I bet they can help us!”

Nene and Tsukasa agreed, Nene snapping Rui out of his musings. The four pulled out their phones, switching to The World Hasn’t Even Started Yet, pressing play and disappearing in a shower of glitter and music notes.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alright, let’s start discussing what we’ll be doing for our next show!” Tsukasa cheered. The group had already made it to the main show stage, and all the Virtual Singers, minus Luka, were there, though KAITO still looked uncomfortable being around Rui. It wasn’t as obvious as before, since KAITO had learned completely avoiding Rui would make things more obvious, but their interactions were more stilted than they had been previously.

“Yeah!” Miku cheered as well, tail flicking in excitement.

“A show at a music hall sounds like fun!” MEIKO commented. “Why not work some songs into your performance?”

“Some songs…?” Nene asked.

“Oh, I wanna play the tambourine! And I also wanna shake-shake-shake the maracas!” Emu replied.

“Rather predictable choices…” Tsukasa muttered.

“I’ll play the castanets!” Rin exclaimed. “Len-kun can join me on the recorder!”

“Hehe. Sounds like your troupe’s turning into a band.” KAITO chuckled, the day being one of his better days.

“I can only sort of play the instruments I learned at school…” Nene replied, hesitant.

“Same.” Rui replied. “The most I’ve really done is build some electric instruments for a show…”

“What?” Nene asked. “That’s incredible…”

“Hehe. Thank you.” Rui turned to Tsukasa, keeping his expression neutral so Tsukasa wouldn’t be able to tell how he was feeling. “Speaking of which, Tsukasa-kun, can’t you play the piano?”

“Yes, I can.” Tsukasa replied, just as stilted as Rui had. “My mom’s a piano teacher and I’ve been learning from her since I was little.”

“Oh, that’s right! I forgot your mom was a piano teacher.” Emu sheepishly commented.

“Yes. I’ve even performed in some minor competitions based on her suggestion!” Tsukasa commented. “But that’s been on the sidelines ever since I decided to get into theater and become a star… Although, I did practice quite a bit in the past.”

“I had no idea. I take it you can play pretty well?” Nene inquired. At Tsukasa’s nod, she let herself reveal her idea. “Oh, I know. Why don’t we do “A Pianist Named Thorpe”?”

Tsukasa paused, trying to remember where he could’ve heard the name. “A pianist named… Wait, I’ve heard of it before.”

“It’s a very famous novella.” Rui explained. “It’s even been turned into an audio play, so there’s a script already available. However…” He trailed off.

“However…?” Emu prompted.

Rui sighed, letting just a little of his bitterness seep through. “Tsukasa may have a hard time playing the role of Thorpe.”

“What?” Tsukasa asked, surprised.

“Huh?” Emu asked, equally as surprised. “What do you mean? He can play the piano. Doesn’t that make him the perfect candidate?”

“True…” Rui mused. Reluctant as he was to have to continue interacting with Tsukasa, he knew Emu was right. “Why don’t we give it a quick try since we’re on the topic?”

“Oh, can we join you?! Please, Rui?!” Miku begged, giving Rui her best puppy eyed look. 

“Yes, of course.” Rui replied, chuckling at Miku’s enthusiasm.

Tsukasa, however, wasn’t paying attention to the conversation anymore. I’ll have a hard time? Why? After all he’s done recently, what did he mean by that…?

Ah, turning around and around and got sick of it

Ah, turning around and around and got sick of it

Ah, I can’t breathe, cannot breathe

Ah, I can’t breathe, cannot breathe

Ah, being changed, changed, changed

Ah, I’m just scared, and scared of it

I will quit waiting for you here. It just makes me broken

Yes, I’m a perriot you want

Just manipulate me as you want

Chapter Text

“A long time ago, in a certain town, there was a pianist named Thorpe. Thorpe was a gifted pianist who lived on the outskirts of his town, and you could always hear the melodious sounds of a piano emanating from his place of lodging.” The narrator, played by Nene, began.

“Oh wow…! Tsukasa-kun’s so good at playing the piano!” Emu commented from backstage.

“Yes, he is!” KAITO agreed, finding something in Tsukasa’s melody to be soothing to his battered spirit. “I’d heard he could play, but not this well.”

“Rui-kun! Rui-kun! Doesn’t this make Tsukasa-kun a perfect fit for Thorpe?” Rin asked.

“Yes…” Rui muttered. “He certainly won’t have any problems when it comes to playing the piano…”

Just then, the narrator continued. “But Thorpe had a rather grave failing. Whenever he tried to perform in front of others, he wasn’t able to play to the best of his abilities. Thorpe would audition for his town’s band many times, but fail every time due to not being able to perform when it mattered most. Having nowhere else to go, Thorpe began playing at a local tavern, though it was so run down it hardly received any visitors. It was a place where no one would hear him play.”

Thorpe, played by Tsukasa, sighed. “If only I could join a big band and play music with them… I know. In times like this, it’s always nice to look at the stars…” Thorpe stood up from the piano, going over to the window and looking out. “They’re so beautiful.”

Hmm… Tsukasa thought. Thorpe looks up towards the stars because he feels stuck in terms of achieving his goals… He seems to have trouble facing reality because he lacks initiative…

Rui noticed Tsukasa’s flawed delivery, frowning.

KAITO noticed the delivery as well. Ah, so this is what Rui-kun was talking about… But how can I help when I can’t even face Rui-kun yet? Sure, we’re standing together, but we haven’t dared to bring up our underlying issue.

The narrator continued once again. “As Thorpe sits and stares at the distant stars…”

The bandleader, played by Rui, approached Thorpe. “Well, if it isn’t Thorpe. Is this where you’re playing your piano these days?”

Thorpe jumped, startled, turning to see who’d addressed him. “Wait, you’re the leader of that band…! It’s been so long. What are you doing in a place like this?”

“Some of the band and I are here to have some drinks.” The bandleader explained. “I see that your love for playing the piano hasn’t faded.”

“No, it hasn’t. But I’m still not able to perform when it really counts…” Thorpe replied, despondent.

“You’d be more than welcome to play in my band if only you could overcome that.” The bandleader began. “Oh, I know! A big contest is going to be taking place in town soon. Why don’t you enter it?”

“Huh?” Thorpe asked, confused. “Me, enter it?”

“Wouldn’t playing in front of a big crowd like that give you a boost of courage?” The bandleader asked. “If you manage to win, my band may be willing to welcome you in as a new member.”

“What?!” Thorpe exclaimed, eyes wide.

“Anyway, we’ll be looking forward to your performance.” With that, the bandleader walked away.

“If I win, I’ll get to join them…?” Thorpe muttered. “I’m probably never going to get another chance to join a band like this again… I have to enter!”

“Thorpe began practicing like there was no tomorrow.” The narrator said, Thorpe playing the piano in the background. “However, no matter how much he practiced, Thorpe still couldn’t play well, even during his mock rehearsal in front of the others boarding with him. With only ten days left until the contest, an absolutely exhausted Thorpe received some special visitors.”

“That piano sounds so wonderful!” Big Sister Squirrel, played by Emu, cheered.

“Yes, it really does!” Little Sister Squirrel, played by Miku, agreed.

“Huh, squirrels?” Thorpe asked, looking up from the piano as his concentration was broken.

“Hey, Mr. Pianist! Can you play a song for us?” Big Sister Squirrel pleaded.

“We want to learn how to dance to a song for this party we’ll be attending soon.” Little Sister Squirrel explained.

“A pair of squirrel sisters had come to visit from a nearby forest. As cute as they were, to Thorpe, they only got in the way of him practicing.” The narrator commented, drawing attention to how annoyed Thorpe looked at the squirrels.

“I don’t care about your party!” Thorpe burst out. “I’m busy! Leave me alone!”

“Please, just one song!” Big Sister Squirrel begged.

“We really want you to play it for us!” Little Sister Squirrel pleaded.

“Ugh… Fine! I’ll play it! But after I’m done, you two need to go.” Thorpe replied, beginning the song again.

“Oh wow!” Big Sister Squirrel exclaimed, awed. “This is a great song! But don’t you think you’re playing a bit too fast?”

“Yeah, she’s right!” Little Sister Squirrel agreed. “We’d have to dance and twirl really fast just to keep up!”

“Enough!” Thorpe shouted. “If all you’re going to do is complain, I’m not going to play for you!”

“The squirrels danced and twirled as best they could, but before they went home, they asked Thorpe to slow things down next time.” The narrator said as the squirrels danced, and then left. “Thorpe let out a deep sigh. However, to his dismay, the squirrels had told their animal friends about him, and they all came to visit the next day.”

“Hello, Mr. Pianist.” The sheep, played by Luka now that she’d been found, said, greeting Thorpe. “Can you play a nice song that’ll help me and my friends from the farm fall asleep?”

“Mr. Pianist!” The migrating bird, played by MEIKO, began, looking somewhat panicked. “I got separated from my friends! Could you play a fun song that will let them know that I’m here?”

“Mr. Pianist, my little brother and sister are sick.” Big Brother Cat, played by KAITO, explained. “Can you play a song that’ll make them feel better?”

Little Brother Cat, played by Len, complained about his stomach hurting, while Little Sister Cat, played by Rin, complained about her head hurting.

“Alright, fine…!” Thorpe replied, exasperated. “But in return, you have to leave after I’m done playing!” He began playing, playing several songs as one by one, the animals left, sighing when he was finally alone. “They’re finally gone… I can practice in peace now. But there might not be any point now since there’s only half a day left.” He sighed, looking out the window at the stars. “I only have half a day left… The stars… They’re so beautiful…”

The lights went off, The piano was moved to center stage, and the lights came back on.

“And so, the day of the contest had arrived.” The narrator said as Thorpe sat down at the piano after entering from offstage. “Thorpe was worried sick about not getting to rehearse in front of others, but he desperately played as best as he could. As a result…”

Thorpe stopped playing, startled at the applause that resounded through the concert hall. “Huh?”

“That was magnificent, Thorpe!” The bandleader exclaimed, approaching Thorpe. “How did you practice to get this good? Could it be that you found someone to listen to you play?”

Thorpe gasped, remembering the animals.

“That’s right.” The narrator confirmed. “Thorpe learned how to play in front of others because his animal friends came to listen each day. As the crowd called for an encore, Thorpe decided to play his favorite song to thank all the animals for what they did. Outside of the venue, the animals heard what he did and nodded their thanks for giving them another wonderful song. The end.” 

The lights on the stage went off, the piano being moved off to the side before the lights came back on, everyone gathering on the stage.
“So,” Nene began, “that’s about how that goes.”

“So many animals!” Miku exclaimed. “That sounds like a lot of fun!”

Tsukasa sighed, realizing he’d have to interact with Rui. He put his signature star persona on, not noticing MEIKO frowning as she watched. “Alright, Rui! What did you think of my performance? I personally thought there was nothing wrong! Especially when I played the piano! It should be smooth sailing with me at the helm!”

“Yeah, Tsukasa-kun, seeing you on the piano was so cool!” Emu cheered. “Especially when you went all ba-da-da-da-dum!”

Nene nodded in agreement. “Yeah, despite everything that was said beforehand, you’ll probably be fine with a bit of practice.”

“No… We shouldn’t be hasty.” Rui replied, expression uncharacteristically serious.

“What?! Why?!” Tsukasa asked, genuinely surprised, setting aside his not getting along with Rui for the moment.

“Look, I agree that there was nothing seriously wrong on the surface…” Rui began, taking a deep breath and letting it out before he spoke again, expression blank when he did. “But, you’re just not fit for this role Tsukasa-kun…”

“Not fit?” Tsukasa asked, feeling something welling up inside him, a feeling he couldn’t name for the time being. 

Rui sighed. “Alright, let’s delve further into this question of role compatibility. My goal as a director is to always assign roles in a way that takes advantage of an actor’s strengths.”

“An actor’s strengths?” Emu asked. “How?”

“Yes. Actors come in all different shapes and sizes. For instance, some prefer to gradually get into character, while others try to imitate their foibles… Of course, there are sometimes prodigies who can immediately take full control of their characters, but let’s set that aside for now.” Rui replied. “From what I’ve seen, Tsukasa-kun is someone who likes to gradually get into character, the most popular archetype.”

“Gradually get into character…?” Tsukasa asked, trying to make sense of Rui’s explanation.

“In simpler terms,” Rui began, “I believe you prefer to learn by doing since you and logical analyses of characters don’t usually mix well. That’s why I usually try to give you characters that are compatible with your personality.”

“Wait, you’ve been deciding roles like this every time?!”

“That’s amazing!” Emu exclaimed, bouncing in place.

“I am the director, aren’t I?” Rui replied.

“I thought your goal was to always send Tsukasa-kun flying, Rui-kun!” Miku commented.

“Miku, wait. Couldn’t you have said that a little nicer?” KAITO gently admonished.

Miku gave an apologetic giggle. “Oh, sorry! I was just trying to say how that’s really cool!”

“Hehe. I understand.” Rui replied. “Anyway, to continue… The protagonist, Thorpe, is a delicate creature who tends to dwell on things quite a bit.” He toyed with the gloves of his troupe uniform as he spoke. “How would you all say he compares to Tsukasa-kun?”

Emu gasped in realization. “They’re total opposites! Tsukasa-kun’s all bam-bam-woosh and Thorpe feels more womp womp!”

“Yeah… Tsukasa usually just does whatever and usually isn’t bothered by much…” Nene sighed.

“What?!” Tsukasa protested. “I’m bothered by things just like anyone else!”

“But that’s my point.” Rui cut in. “This role involves a person with the opposite personality as you, Tsukasa-kun. I have a feeling you’ll struggle to fully get into character. You excel at using your body to perform dynamic stunts. I can’t say that with the same confidence about expressing a character’s inner struggles. We don’t have much time until our next show as ambassadors, so in terms of quality…” Rui was quickly cut off.

“No, I refuse to be put into a box!” Tsukasa protested. 

“I’m not-” Rui was cut off again.

“I want to do this role because of the struggle!” Tsukasa continued. 

“What?”

“I’m sure you all remember the show we saw when we went to Riley Dream Park…” Tsukasa trailed off, remembering that day. “Through my eyes, it was an absolutely incredible spectacle. The way they balanced their dynamism with subtlety kept me on the edge of my seat. It also led me to quite a painful realization. It showed me that I still don’t have the acting ability required to captivate an audience the way they did.”

Rui stayed silent, and seeing this, KAITO spoke up. “I remember how Tsukasa studied every move they made as we watched…”

“That’s right. Just as you suggested we take things one step at a time, I believe I’ve made progress since then. That’s why I want to take on a new kind of role!” Tsukasa explained. “I can’t just keep playing the same types of characters over and over again. I won’t let myself be shoved into a box. There’s an endless number of shows out there. As the troupe leader, I’m not about to let us give up on one because I may not be able to fit into a certain role. By me growing as an actor, our shows will evolve while also being able to try our hand at more genres. So, please, give me a chance!”

Rui stayed quiet for a few moments, feeling everyone’s eyes on him. He moved, going and sitting down on the stage stairs. “As the director, it’s my duty to put on the most fun and interesting shows possible with this troupe. With that in mind, I cannot agree to do this show. However… Tsukasa-kun does make a good point. It’s just as important to help each actor grow if we do wish to put on fun shows. Which means, as the director, as much as I disagree with this, I shouldn’t hinder our future star from reaching his full potential.”

Tsukasa’s eyes widened, the feeling in his chest dying down just a little bit.

“Does that mean we get to do this story?!” Emu asked, practically vibrating with her anticipation. 

“Yes, let’s do this show.” Rui replied, nodding.

“I’ll do my best then. Thank you.” Tsukasa said.

“We’ll all do our best.” Rui replied, not responding to Tsukasa how he usually would.

“Bye, Miku-chan! Bye, you guys!” Emu exclaimed, pulling out her phone.

“Bye bye!” Miku replied, watching as one by one, Rui, Emu, and Nene left, stopping Tsukasa before he could leave as well. “Oh, Tsukasa-kun, wait!”

“Hm? Yes, Miku?” Tsukasa asked, confused.

“Good luck learning to play Thorpe!” Miku replied. “I really loved the way you play the piano as him, so I’m sure you’ll do great!”

“Yes, that’s the plan!” Tsukasa replied. “As a future star, I vow to put on a good performance, so just you wait!” Tsukasa pressed pause after he said goodbye to Miku, disappearing in a shower of glitter and music notes.

Luka turned to MEIKO from where she was standing, the underlying seriousness of the situation keeping her awake. “Do you think they’ll be alright?”

MEIKO frowned, thinking about the situation. “All we can do is wait and see, Luka. And pray that things don’t get worse between Tsukasa and Rui.”

A delusion of dawn

Invaluable escapades and a misunderstood hero play pretend

Traffic’s already jammed up now - oh well, nothing I can do about that anyway

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“What’s it supposed to be like then?”

The more I thought about that…

No, it can’t be this, not this.

This is a bad fit for me

I’m not suited for it

Should I quit it now, or-

But that’s not right, right! I wonder when will I get to be

The leading star of this show?

Chapter Text

The next day, getting closer to the start of December, the troupe found themselves at the Wonder Stage, practicing their roles.

“Okay, that’s it for our read-through.” Rui said, shutting his script. “How do you all feel about this?”

“Oh, me first!” Emu exclaimed, setting her script down beside her. “I really like how Thorpe was able to play the piano like he wanted in the end!”

Nene sighed. “That’s not what he’s asking, Emu. He’s talking about how we each feel about the way we acted. From what I saw, it wasn’t bad or anything, but… After hearing what Rui said, I couldn’t help but keep an eye on Tsukasa and what he did, and he did seem different than usual.”

“I agree. I believe we feel the same.” Rui commented. He refrained from asking how Tsukasa felt about it.

Tsukasa looked down, crossing his arms and frowning. “Something just didn’t feel right with my acting…” He muttered.

“Hm? What do you mean Tsukasa-kun?” Emu asked.

“How do I explain it…? Tsukasa mused, thinking for a moment. “It’s like I only have a superficial grasp of this character.”

“Hm? Superficial? What do you mean?”

“That’s the thing. I’m not sure I truly understand how this character feels…” Tsukasa replied, looking dejected.

Rui sighed, deciding to try ad-libbing. “Thorpe, how’s practice going?”

“Wait, are you ad-libbing?” Nene asked, eyebrow raised.

“If you’re trying to make a living by playing at a tavern, I have to think you’re having a hard time paying rent. I wish I could help you somehow…”

Tsukasa was surprised as well, but quickly figured out what Rui was doing. “T-Thank you! Your kind words are more than enough!” Tsukasa paused, letting out a frustrated groan. “No, that doesn’t sound right either. He’s supposed to be lacking in confidence. He’d probably clam up in a situation like that.”

“This is what he meant by a superficial grasp.” Rui explained. “He’s having trouble reading between the lines.”

“Oh, now I get it!” Emu replied.

“He’s been able to capture a character’s essence just based on instinct until now, but as I expected, this one may prove challenging. Tsukasa-kun, mind telling us where you’re getting stuck and how?”

“Of course.” Tsukasa replied. “I appreciate the help. First, the scene where he looks up to the stars is giving me some trouble…”

“I see…” Rui mused. “Thorpe lacks confidence, but also seems fairly proud of himself. Even I’m having some trouble understanding him, I have to admit.” He turned to Nene. “Nene, you might have a better idea. How do you feel about this character?”

“Wait, isn’t that just a roundabout way of bad-mouthing people with pride but no confidence in themselves?” Nene asked.

“Oh?” Rui asked, eyebrow raised. “I never said anything about that combination being bad. It just means you’re proud of yourself but prefer to take it slow when making important decisions.”

“Yup yup!” Emu said, nodding. “You’re always wonderhoy no matter what, Nene-chan!”

“Why does it feel like you’re both trying to pull one over on me…?” Nene muttered with a grimace.

“Nene, I beg you! Help me understand how Thorpe feels!” Tsukasa implored, looking slightly desperate.

Nene sighed. “Alright, fine. My guess is that he’s stressing over producing results, but also beating himself up for being so timid.”

“I see…” Tsukasa mused, picking up his script and flicking through it. “But he has a goal to reach, right…? He doesn’t have any time to mope around like he is.”

“Well, you’re not wrong!” Nene hurriedly said. “But it can be pretty hard to motivate yourself when you’re in this kind of pain…” The “I should know” was left unsaid, Nene leaving her demons for another day.

“Hmm… This is going to take more work than I thought…”

“Alright then, how about we work more on our characters while we go over some lines?” Rui suggested, picking up his script.

Tsukasa tried, but no matter what he did, he couldn’t figure out how Thorpe was supposed to respond, leaving practice that day feeling extremely frustrated.

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“Maybe we should stop here for today…” Rui suggested the next week when Tsukasa was still struggling with his role.

“Hm? Oh… sure, let’s call it a day.” Tsukasa replied, discouraged by his lack of progress. 

“Okay.” Nene replied, nodding.

This is bad… Tsukasa thought. I’ve spent a week trying to figure out this role, but I’m still nowhere close… At this rate…

Despite not wanting to interact with Tsukasa much, Rui decided he needed to intervene for the sake of the show. “Tsukasa-kun…”

“I should probably take a closer look at the story. Otherwise, at this rate…” Tsukasa muttered to himself. He was already lost in his own world, packing up his things and leaving.

Nene sighed, turning to Rui. “Are you ever going to talk to him about what happened?”

“Why should I?” Rui asked.

“Everyone noticed something’s going on with you two.” Nene pointedly replied. “You two don’t hang out outside of school anymore, you don’t cause explosions around school, you don’t even eat lunch together. On a surface level at practice, you seem to be interacting nearly the same as always, but everyone can tell that something’s off. Even MEIKO and the others.” Nene packed her things as she talked, waiting on Rui before the two began their journey to their respective homes.

“Tsukasa-kun doesn’t want to talk about it, so I won’t talk about it.” Rui explained as if it were common sense. “It’s better to ignore it, pretend it didn’t happen.”

Nene sighed, exasperated. “You two can’t pretend it never happened when it’s affected how you interact. We can’t have this show end how our last one did with the audience noticing the tension between you and Tsukasa. You have to figure something out.” She sighed when she noticed they’d reached Scramble Crossing, changing topics. “I hope Tsukasa’s okay. He seemed really stuck today. Isn’t there anything I can do to help him? But I already told him just about everything I can. Hm?” Nene looked at Rui, noticing Rui’s dull eyes and his downcast posture.

“Rui, what’s wrong? You seem really down…”

“Huh? Oh, I was just thinking about Tsukasa-kun’s acting… and how I’ve failed as a director. I regret not putting more thought into this…” Rui admitted.

“More thought…? What do you mean?” Nene asked.

“Until now, I kept assigning roles to Tsukasa-kun that I thought would help bring out his potential… His goal in life is to become a world famous star. In retrospect, I regret not pushing his boundaries by assigning him more challenging roles. In other words, I regret not thinking ahead more…”

Nene blinked, taken aback. I don’t believe it… This is how he’s taking the situation? Usually, he doesn’t really care as long as he gets to do the shows he wants. But now… even though he and Tsukasa aren’t really speaking, it’s like he genuinely cares about all of our dreams and goals in life… “But, there’s no use crying over spilled milk, right?” She asked, speaking up to try and soothe Rui’s distress.

“Huh?” Now it was Rui’s turn to be surprised.

“Remember what you told me after what happened with me and my troupe? ‘You can look back all you want, but you can’t change the past.’”

“Oh…” Rui breathed, surprised Nene remembered that.

“That cheered me up. It made me think that it was all in the past, so I need to keep doing my best right now.” Nene turned to face Rui, walking backwards. “So I’m gonna tell you the same thing. The past is the past. All we can do right now is believe in Tsukasa and do what we can for him.”

“Yes, you’re right…” Rui replied, smiling slightly, but only slightly, his mood still at an all time low. “I should be coming up with hints or other ways to help him. Thank you, Nene.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tsukasa found himself in the living room of his house, practicing. “Ah, is that so…? You can leave now if you’re satisfied.” He waited a few moments before speaking again. “They’re finally gone. I can practice in peace now… But there might not be any point now since the contest is tomorrow.” He sighed. “I only have half a day left… The stars… They’re so beautiful…” Tsukasa grumbled when he finished his delivery. “No, something still doesn’t feel right. I was under the impression that Thorpe looks up to the stars here to flee from his issues because he knows he can’t overcome them before the contest… But am I wrong…? I don’t know… Not being able to tell means I’m far from being the perfect world star…” He frowned, sulking for a moment. “No… Now’s not the time for that! Alright, in times like this, there’s but one thing for me to do!”

Tsukasa put his script down, going over to the piano and sitting down, beginning to play a piece he knew well. Yes… Sitting on this bench really does put my mind at ease… “Okay…” He sighed, not noticing the door opening, or the footsteps he heard.

“I’m home!” Saki called out, shutting the door behind her. “Tsukasa, you’re back too?” She paused when she noticed what Tsukasa was doing. “Oh… Hehe. The way onii-chan plays the piano is always beautiful.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rui found himself sitting in his room, well, if his workshop could be considered a room, that night, drawing out some blueprints for a confetti cannon. “We don’t have much time left until our show…” As much as I don’t want to, I need to rethink why Tsukasa-kun’s still having trouble with this role… He’s clearly done a full analysis of his character. He understands what Thorpe’s trying to achieve. But he’s still struggling to immerse himself into his role… In a way, him and Thorpe are still “strangers”. Tsukasa’s usually able to immerse himself fully and become one with a character and act as if he’s in their shoes. There has to be something that can help him become more comfortable with becoming Thorpe… Rui gasped, getting an idea. “Wait, I know…!” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What do we have in common?” Tsukasa asked the next day at the Wonder Stage. 

“Yes.” Rui replied, nodding. “I’d like it if you could find something you deeply have in common with Thorpe. Even just one thing will suffice.”

“Will he get better if he finds one?” Emu asked.

“Yes.” Rui confirmed. “Remember when we had Tsukasa-kun play the Black Knight a while back?”

“The Black Knight…?” Nene asked. “Oh, right…” She thought back to the show, remembering how as the Black Knight, Tsukasa was supposed to have lost his way, committing atrocities against those who once protected until he was led back to the right path, and all because the Black Knight had lost his memories.

“Yeah, I remember!” Emu replied. “The show we did before Halloween!”

“Ah, that’s right.” Tsukasa commented. “I definitely had trouble getting into character that time.”

“You did?” Nene asked. “I didn’t know that.”

“I hadn’t played many bad guys before until that point, so I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to act…” Tsukasa admitted. “Rui suggested that the Black Knight and I were similar because we both have strong wills and steadfast principles that keep us from budging. Playing that role became much easier after I started taking that into consideration.”

“And this search for commonalities is a similar exercise.” Rui explained. “Tsukasa-kun, you seem to prefer to learn by doing or through instinct as opposed to logically analyzing a character. I believe finding something in common with your character will open quite a few doors for you in terms of imagining how you play him. And again, just one will suffice. One thing you think you have in common with this character. You’ll also be exempt from practicing lines while you do so. Rather, please refrain from doing so.”

“What?! This again?! How can we move forward if I don’t practice my lines?!” Tsukasa shouted.

“So we have to practice without him? How will that work?” Nene asked, confused.

“And he’s in almost every scene.” Emu pointed out. “That means we won’t be able to practice much, right?”

Rui shook his head. “We can ask KAITO and the others about filling in as Thorpe. I’m sure they’ll be willing to listen once we explain our situation to them. As the director, I personally don’t want us going into a show knowing that our lead has yet to figure out their character. In addition, Tsukasa-kun practicing while he’s in this state will likely start affecting everyone else. That’s why I want you to find some commonalities with your character, Tsukasa-kun, and unravel this mystery. Can you do that?”

“Of course! Just you wait and see!” Tsukasa replied.

“We’ll be looking forward to some good results then.” Rui replied.

“I believe in you, Tsukasa! You can do it! I know you can!” Emu cheered.

“I agree. I’m sure you’ll figure out something.” Nene commented.

“I will.” Tsukasa replied. “After all, it’s a star’s duty to rise to any occasion!”

“Alright, we’ll leave it for you then. In the meantime, we’ll be asking KAITO to see if we can practice on his stage. Please feel free to ask if you need any help.” Rui replied.

“Understood. I’ll join you once I figure out this character.” With that, Tsukasa packed up and left, heading back home. When he got back home, he immediately went to his room. He set his bag down, changing out of his troupe uniform before sitting down in his armchair.

“Hmm… Commonalities, huh?” Tsukasa muttered. “We’re really the exact opposites of each other… It’s like my grasp of this character keeps slipping away the more I read the script… The smallest things bother him so much, and he knows he isn’t able to play his best. And yet, he keeps looking up at the stars…” Tsukasa sighed, closing his script and tossing it on his desk. “If I were in his shoes, I’d buck up and take this issue by the horns, like I’m doing now! No, hold on! Complaining won’t get me anywhere! First, I need to discover what we have in common! Alright, let’s start again from the top! That also goes for the original novella!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As November entered its last week, Tsukasa only grew more frustrated. “I still don’t understand… Grr… Do we actually have anything in common…? Thinking hasn’t gotten me anywhere… No, we must have something in common… If Rui believes so, then the answer has to be out there somewhere. But a hint would be nice. An objective opinion… I know…! I’ll just…” Tsukasa grabbed his phone, switching to his music app and selecting The World Hasn’t Even Started Yet before pressing play. He arrived in the main area of Wonderland Sekai, making his way to the main show tent, pleased to find Miku. “Ah, Miku, you’re here!”

“Hey, it’s Tsukasa-kun!” Miku exclaimed. “Tsukasaaa!” Miku rushed over, bouncing excitedly in place.

“Hey. I was wondering if you could help me with something.” Tsukasa replied.

“Help you? With what?” Miku asked.

Tsukasa explained his issue, frowning as he did so. 

“So you can’t figure out the reason behind Thorpe looking at the stars?” Miku asked. “I’ve always thought Thorpe ended up feeling better as a result of looking at the stars.”

“He feels better…?” Tsukasa muttered. “Wait… Where have I heard this before…?”

“Maybe you can ask KAITO-san!” Miku suggested. “He’s back in his room.”

“Thanks, Miku, I’ll go ask him now.” Tsukasa replied. He made his way backstage, down the hall to KAITO’s room, knocking on the door. When he got no reply, he tried the doorknob, surprised to see the door was unlocked. He stepped inside the room, noticing a glowing ball of light in the middle of the floor, as well as KAITO, who was laying in his bed, eyes dull. “KAITO…?”

KAITO looked up, finally noticing Tsukasa. “Ah, I’m sorry, Tsukasa. I wanted to greet you properly…”

“It’s alright.” Tsukasa replied. “I’m not going to freak out like last time. More importantly, what’s that glowing ball on the floor?”

“It’s a fragment of feelings…” KAITO replied, sitting up and yawning, trudging his way over to Tsukasa after he stood up from his bed. Tsukasa was surprised to see him in casual wear, but he had to admit the oversized shirt and sweatpants did look comfortable. “A fragment of feelings? We haven’t had one appear in a long time.”

KAITO nodded. “I’ve been meaning to check it, but I’ve been so tired today…” He rubbed his eyes as he spoke, his tone flat.

“Have you been getting enough sleep?” Tsukasa asked, concerned.

“I’ve been sleeping alright…” KAITO muttered. “Today’s just a bad day.” He knelt down, picking up the fragment of feelings, studying it. 

Tsukasa studied the fragment of feelings as well, surprised when it flashed. “Gah! KAITO, did you activate it when you picked it up?!”

“I-I might’ve.” KAITO replied. “My apologies-” He was cut off before he could finish, the fragment flashing again and sending him and Tsukasa into the feelings it contained.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“....k…a?”

“Ts…asa?”

“Tsukasa?”

Tsukasa groaned, opening his eyes, finding himself laying down on the sidewalk in front of an unfamiliar place. He slowly sat up, taking in his surroundings.

“Tsukasa? Are you alright now?”

Tsukasa turned his head to see the source of the voice, confusion filling him when he saw the blue haired vocaloid in front of him. “I’m sorry, who are you? Ugh… my head is pounding…”

KAITO grimaced, wincing. “Ah, this must be an effect of the fragment… How much do you remember…?”

Tsukasa studied KAITO, noticing how the man’s eyes were dull and how his tone was flat, even despite the robotic quality to it. What do I remember…? Name? Well, Tsukasa sounds right, so that must be it. My surname? I feel like it’s there, but… Tsukasa groaned in pain when he tried to remember, clutching his head. Okay, my name is Tsukasa, no surname, so, age? Birthday? I look to be close to the height of this man, so we must be similar ages. My birthday? The stabbing pain shot through Tsukasa’s head again when he tried to remember, and he cried out once more, almost keeling over if it weren’t for KAITO’s supportive grasp.

“Tsukasa?”

“I-I’m sorry, who are you?” Tsukasa said, repeating his earlier question. “You didn’t answer me before.”

“KAITO.” KAITO replied shortly. “Do you remember anything?”

“My name is Tsukasa. You and I are probably similar in age due to our heights. I feel like I belong here, but at the same time, the house in front of us radiates something dark.” Tsukasa dutifully recited, thankful the pain in his head was starting to pass, though his head still felt stuffed full of cotton and fog, thoughts whisking away before they could even fully form.

“The nameplate on the house says Tenma.” KAITO observed. He helped Tsukasa stand, the duo making their way to the front door. “How do we get in?”

“I feel something in my pocket.” Tsukasa replied, checking his pocket, finding his house key. “Huh? A key?”

KAITO took the key, yawning as he did so. “It looks like it’ll fit in the lock…” He handed it back to Tsukasa, trying not to doze off where he stood.

Tsukasa took the key back, using it to open the door, surprised when it worked. He led the way inside, looking around. “What is this place?”

“Why do we hear a piano?” KAITO asked.

The duo walked further into the living room, surprised to find a little boy, a little girl, and a man and a woman, the little boy and little girl looking no older than 7 and 6 respectively. 

“The boy… Why does he seem so familiar?” Tsukasa asked.

KAITO studied the boy and Tsukasa. “He has your hair, and your eyes. Perhaps he’s a small version of you.”

“Of me? I don’t remember ever seeing him before.” Tsukasa replied.

Just then, voices rang out as the piano’s performance came to an end.

“Wow…!” The little girl gasped and clapped her hands, her blond pigtails that faded to pink bouncing as she did so.

“How’s that?!” The little boy asked. He had blond hair that faded to a more sunset color. “A performance fit for a star, I’d say! Mom taught me how to play that!”

“That was amazing, Tsukasa! I wanna try playing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” too!”

“We share a name…” Tsukasa muttered, unnerved.

“You do?!” The little Tsukasa questioned, nearly bursting with excitement. "In that case, I’ll teach you! That way we’ll both be able to play it!”

“Yay! You’re the best, Tsukasa!” The little girl cheered, bouncing in place, clapping her hands in excitement.

The woman, who had long hair that faded to pink, matching her daughter in all but hairstyle, spoke up. “Hehe. Alright, Saki, let’s take it one step at a time so you can learn to play four hands with him.”

“Okay!” Saki replied, then broke into a coughing fit.

Tsukasa and KAITO jumped at how violent it was, a harsh feeling running through Tsukasa’s chest.

“Oh, maybe we shouldn’t today…” The woman commented. “You did just get out of the hospital after all…”

“No!” Saki protested, kicking her tiny feet against the piano bench, nearly in tears. “I wanna play! I wanna play “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star!”

“Oh…” The little Tsukasa breathed, just as surprised by Saki’s outburst as Tsukasa and KAITO were, even though in his tiredness, KAITO wasn’t processing everything properly. “I know…! I can teach you while you’re in bed! There are some good finger drills you can still practice, so we can give some of those a try!”

“Really?” Saki asked, slowly calming down, no longer kicking her feet against the piano bench.

“Yes, but we’ll start tomorrow.” The little Tsukasa replied. For now, you need to get a good night’s rest!”

“Grr… Fine… Why can’t it be tomorrow already?” Saki grumbled as the woman picked her up.

“Okay, let’s get you back to bed.” The woman walked off, carrying Saki, leaving the little Tsukasa at the piano.

“Alright…!” The little Tsukasa cheered, beginning to play again. I have to practice lots if I’m gonna teach Saki how to play this! Soon though, the little Tsukasa found himself growing tired, rubbing at his eyes. He whined when he was picked up by the man, but snuggled into his chest anyway. The man had the same hair as Tsukasa.

“Alright, my little star, bedtime for you as well.”

Tsukasa and KAITO watched as the little Tsukasa was carried away, the lights in the living room being turned off as the little Tsukasa dozed off in the man’s hold.

“That little girl… Saki was it?” Tsukasa muttered. “Something about that cough… unsettled me.” 

“She sounded sick.” KAITO replied, rubbing his eyes. “And they said she’d just gotten out of the hospital too…” He walked over to the couch, flopping down on it, laying his head down on the star plush laying on the couch.

Tsukasa watched, beginning to feel his own exhaustion creep up on him, though most of the feeling was mental. “We should probably sleep as well. But, where should I sleep…?”

KAITO sighed, readjusting his position so he was only taking up half of the couch. “Just… sleep here… It’s comfortable…” He muttered, already dozing off.

Tsukasa noticed KAITO didn’t have any shoes on, just socks, so he didn’t worry about having to help KAITO, taking his shoes off and laying down on the other side of the couch, soon drifting off as well.

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The two were brutally woken up later that night by the sounds of high pitched cries from upstairs.

“I-It hurts!”

The sound of running quickly followed the scream. “Saki…?! Saki, are you okay?!”

“I’ll get the car! Keep an eye on her while I do!”

“Okay…!”

The sound of running shattered any remnant of peace as the man dashed down the stairs and out the door, frantic, leaving the door wide open behind him. The sound of a car starting up followed, and the man dashed back inside and up the stairs, soon returning with the woman running behind him, carrying Saki. The door was closed and locked, and the car soon left, leaving the duo alone to process what they’d just witnessed.

Tsukasa found himself shaking, the sound of the crying, screaming, and frantic chaos of it all resonating in his heart so strongly that he found himself sobbing without knowing why, the stabbing pain in his head only further adding to his turmoil.

KAITO sat up, wide eyed, the numbness abating just enough to allow him to panic at Tsukasa’s turmoil. “Tsukasa?! Are you alright?!”

“T-The crying… the screaming…” Tsukasa muttered, trying to piece everything together. “Gah, my head hurts!”

KAITO frowned, gathering Tsukasa up into his arms, hugging him and rubbing his back. “It’s alright, it’s alright. It was scary, I know, but they’re taking her to be treated. Was it the noise?”

“Not just that…” Tsukasa revealed between sobs. “Something in my heart, it feels bad!”

“Something in your heart feels bad?” KAITO asked. “It could be related to your missing memories.” He went back to shushing Tsukasa afterward, switching from rubbing Tsukasa’s back to carding his fingers through Tsukasa’s hair.

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Tsukasa and KAITO didn’t know how long they’d sat there. Tsukasa’s tears had long dried up, and now everything felt like it was passing by without Tsukasa moving with it. He distantly noticed that KAITO’s eyes were just as unfocused as his, but he didn’t care to do anything about it, still curled up on the couch and leaning against KAITO, lazily tracing the beams of sun hitting the floor with his eyes. They only looked up when they heard running footsteps.

“Good morning! Saki, let’s practice… ” The little Tsukasa stopped in his tracks when he saw the noticeable lack of Saki. “Huh? Mom? Where’s Saki?”

The woman sighed, kneeling down to be at the little Tsukasa’s level. “So… Saki came down with something last night, and she’s at the hospital now. Your father and I will be going to see her later.”

“What?! She’s back at the hospital?! Is she okay?!” The little Tsukasa shouted.

“Yes. Fortunately, your father got word this morning that it’s nothing serious.” The woman answered.

“Oh… Thank goodness…” The little Tsukasa sighed, then frowned. But that means she’s gonna be really sad again… “I wish we can play the piano together soon…”

“The next time she comes home, you can play with her. I promise. Now, mommy and daddy have to get going so we can go to your sister. Be good, alright?” The woman replied.

“Okay! I’ll be good!” The little Tsukasa replied.

Tsukasa and KAITO sank back into the fog, blankly watching the man and woman get ready to leave, the two eventually leaving while the little Tsukasa ran wild around the house, gathering various toys and practicing a play he was producing, doing this for hours until all three were startled by the sound of a phone ringing. 

“Who could that be?” The little Tsukasa asked, picking up the phone. “Hello, this is the Tenmas!”

“Tsukasa, is that you?” Ah, that was the woman. “I’m sorry to disappoint you like this, but Saki still isn’t feeling well so she needs to stay a little longer. Your father will be home soon, so please try to be patient for just a bit longer.”

The little Tsukasa frowned, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “Okay, got it…! I’ll be really good while I wait!”

“Hehe. Thank you for being such a good big brother. We’ll talk again soon.”

The phone hung up, the little Tsukasa putting it back before finally letting the tears fall. “They’re gonna be gone really long again… No, I’m a star! This shouldn’t bother me at all! Saki probably feels worse because she doesn’t get to go home!” The little Tsukasa made his way over to the piano, sitting on the piano bench, beginning to play. “So… Saki… At this rate… you won’t ever get a chance to catch up with me… Please, come home soon.”

Broken mirrors and shattered hearts

I can see you, but can you see me too?

Walk along the reflecting shards

When it’s over, I’ll take you lower

But higher and higher we go

Step by step, looking down, feel the vertigo

With fragments of odd memories

What sights do you believe?

Living in fantasy

In apathy

Isn’t the cure

You’re out of time

Try to keep holding on

Before you’re gone

It all will be over, so cry and cry

Chapter Text

“They can’t see us, can they?” Tsukasa asked after the little Tsukasa had gone to bed once more.

“No, I don’t believe they can.” KAITO replied, still processing what had happened with Saki during the night. 

“Why is that?” Tsukasa asked. “I may only know my name, but that doesn’t seem normal.”

“It’s normally not.” KAITO explained. “But each fragment of feelings has its own effect on those who visit it. Memory loss usually isn’t one, although it can happen. Especially if the visitors hit their heads on the way in. However, if fragments have other people in them, then the fragment will determine if the visitors can be seen or not. If the fragment is merely there to show the visitor something, then the visitor can’t be seen by people inside the fragment.”

Tsukasa groaned, the information making his head spin. “This is all too much…”

“I know.” KAITO replied, frowning. “I’m sorry, but it’s just the way they are. Let’s just… rest until the next thing happens…”

Tsukasa nodded in agreement, though his eyes widened when the living room started warping around the duo. “W-What’s happening?!”

“I-I don’t know!” KAITO replied, clutching his head as pain set in. “This isn’t normal for a destabilizing fragment!”

Tsukasa cried out as the pain in his head intensified, clutching his own head. He lost track of KAITO, lost track of everything. The warping room was making him dizzy, and he closed his eyes to fight off the sensation. He didn’t complain when a final spike of pain sent him off into the darkness once more.

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The sound of a phone ringing is what woke KAITO, the man groaning in pain as he wearily opened his eyes. Ugh… What's that noise…? How long have I been out…? He noticed he’d fallen off the couch, Tsukasa still miraculously on the couch, his gaze shifting to the little Tsukasa, who now looked like he was in middle school. 

“Wait, is it finally here…?!” The middle school Tsukasa asked as he picked up the phone, answering it. “Hello?! This is the Tenmas!”

“Tsukasa! I got into Miya Girls Junior High! Ichi and the girls all got in too!”

Ah, KAITO thought, Saki sounds older as well.

“R-Really?! That’s great, Saki!” The middle school Tsukasa cheered.

“Thanks!” Saki replied. “This means we can keep hanging out and have fun together! Plus, I’m feeling great right now!”

“This is wonderful! I’m so happy for you!” The middle school Tsukasa replied. “We should throw you a party today! Why don’t you invite Ichika and the others over?”

“Okay, I’ll try asking them! Talk to you later!”

The middle school Tsukasa said his goodbyes, hanging up the phone. “Good for you, Saki! You get to be with your friends again! Hah hah hah! I feel like I can play anything right now!”

KAITO watched as the middle school Tsukasa went to the piano, beginning to play a cheerful tune. He picked himself up off the floor, taking it slowly since his legs were wobbly and threatening to give out from under him, sitting back down on the couch, studying Tsukasa. He looks so peaceful… He probably feels better emotionally than I do right now, if he feels anything at all… It’s my fault he ended up in this situation… But, why hasn’t he woken up yet? KAITO reached over, shaking Tsukasa. “Tsukasa, can you hear me? Tsukasa…?” KAITO gave up after a couple minutes, frowning. Maybe the fragment is keeping him asleep… I should give it time… 

He decided to pass the time by watching the day move on around him, though the house became quite quiet when the middle school Tsukasa had to leave for school, but when the phone rang again, KAITO was suddenly filled with dread, and he became glad that Tsukasa wasn’t awake to witness whatever was about to happen as the woman answered the phone.

“Yes, this is the Tenmas. Wait, what happened to Saki…?!”

The conversation continued for a while, going back and forth between the woman and an unknown male voice on the phone.

“I know it’s quite a ways away, but based on her condition, I recommend transferring her to the hospital in the other prefecture since they have a specialist in-house.”

“I see…” The man mused. “I understand.”

“Thank you.” The woman said, bowing her head slightly.

The middle school Tsukasa frowned from where he was sitting at the piano. “Saki… She just got into Miya Girls… And now that’s being taken away from her…” But I’m sure Saki will be fine… She’ll be back, and I’ll be waiting for her right here… The middle school Tsukasa began playing a somber tune on the piano as the man and woman left to head to the hospital, and that’s when KAITO registered what was going on. The living room and the middle school Tsukasa were fading away as the song continued.

Ah, so this is the end of what the fragment wanted to say… It wanted to show Tsukasa forgotten memories… KAITO sighed, closing his eyes, muttering with his still flat tone. “Maybe it’s for the best that Tsukasa didn’t witness this moment…” He blindly reached his hand out, finding Tsukasa’s own, letting the fragment carry them away.

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The next time KAITO woke, he found himself back in his room, Tsukasa laying on the bed beside him. We’re back…? But why isn’t Tsukasa awake yet…? KAITO carefully got out of bed, gently picking Tsukasa up in a bridal carry and nudging the door open, walking out of the room to the stage, his emotions being dulled meaning he didn’t react when he saw Rui.

“Huh? KAITO? And, wait, what happened to Tsukasa?!” Nene asked, eyes wide when she saw the duo.

MEIKO noticed them as well, hurrying over. “KAITO, what happened…?”

“Miku sent him to me for help.” KAITO explained, kneeling down and carefully laying Tsukasa down on the stage. “A fragment of feelings spawned in my room, and Tsukasa noticed it when he came in. I picked it up, and it sent us in. It showed us… memories…”

“Memories?” Emu asked. “What kind of memories?”

“It showed us Tsukasa’s memories…” KAITO replied hesitantly. “It showed us a time when he and his sister were little, showed us a time she had to be rushed to the hospital, and showed us when they were in middle school when his sister had to be transferred to a different hospital.”

Rui frowned, but chose to say nothing for the time being.

“KAITO, did it…?” MEIKO asked.

“It was rough.” KAITO replied. “Tsukasa and I both ended up dissociating after the young version of Saki was rushed to the hospital. For several hours at that.”

“Several hours?!” Rui asked, surprised. “KAITO, that’s not good.”

“I know.” KAITO replied. “But, they couldn’t see us, so we had no one to break us out of it until we heard the little version of Tsukasa running into the living room in the morning. Time passed like regular there, but I know it wasn’t as long here. When the fragment shifted years, it knocked both of us out. When I woke up, Tsukasa was still out, and he hasn’t woken up since.”

“How did the fragment affect him?” Miku asked, finally speaking up, looking worried.

KAITO sighed, frowning, and the self-blame must’ve been evident on his face, because Miku came over, hugging him. 

“No, none of that.” Miku commented, uncharacteristically serious. “However it affected him, it wasn’t your fault.”

“H-He lost his memories…” KAITO muttered.

The group’s eyes widened when they heard that statement.

“He remembered his name, but trying to remember anything else caused him pain…” KAITO explained, reluctantly pulling away from the hug. He knelt down by Tsukasa, studying the boy’s sleeping face. At least for the moment, Tsukasa looked peaceful, so he switched to properly sitting, allowing himself to relax for a moment.

“Is Tsukasa-kun gonna be alright…?” Emu asked, a worried frown on her face.

MEIKO nodded. “He’s likely still asleep because the fragment’s effects are wearing off. As for why he didn’t wake up when it moved on though… KAITO? Just this one question, and then you can go back to your room if you’d like. You seem tired.”

“I’m exhausted…” KAITO admitted. “Despite passing out twice, I’m still feeling the emotional turmoil… And that’s even after we slept before the first incident…” He rubbed his eyes, trying to bring his focus back to the problem at hand. “I have a feeling Tsukasa wasn’t ready to see the transfer, so the fragment kept him asleep so he didn’t witness it.”

“Why would it do that?” Rui asked, frowning.

“Fragments are mysterious things.” MEIKO replied. “They have different effects on the visitors based on their purpose. But they also take the visitor’s states in mind. If the visitor isn’t ready to see something, then the fragments will hide whatever it is the visitors aren’t ready to see.” She turned to KAITO and Tsukasa, picking Tsukasa up. “Do you want to go back to your room, KAITO?”

KAITO shook his head. “I want to make sure Tsukasa wakes up okay.”

“That’s fine.” MEIKO replied. She waited for KAITO to stand up, then walked to the back of the stage, depositing Tsukasa against the backdrop.

KAITO sat down beside Tsukasa, jolting when he felt a weight hit his shoulder, looking to see that Tsukasa had slipped from how MEIKO had sat the younger one down. “You guys should go back to practicing. We’ll be okay back here.”

“Well… if you’re sure… Alright.” Nene replied. “But if either of you two get worse, you are letting yourselves get taken care of, understood?”

KAITO gulped at the intensity of Nene’s statement, but nodded anyway. He watched the group for as long as he could, but eventually, his exhaustion won, and he found the voices of the others becoming nothing but background noise as he drifted off.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You keep glancing at them. Are you alright?” MEIKO asked a couple of hours later as the group was taking a break from practice.

Rui gave a sheepish chuckle at being caught, but nodded. “It’s odd… I still haven’t forgiven Tsukasa-kun for how he’s been recently, and yet, I can’t help but be worried about both of them.”

“It’s only natural.” MEIKO replied. “Despite everything that’s happened recently, despite Tsukasa not handling his struggles well, you still care for him.”

“Huh.” Rui commented, blinking in surprise. “I suppose I do.”

“Your past won’t always define your relationships.” MEIKO explained. “This right here just proves it. Tsukasa still cares about you despite everything. So do we and the rest of the troupe. Isn’t it only natural for you to still care about us?”

“Yeah… Yeah, it is.” Rui commented. “It’s just… I never thought I’d see myself getting into a third fight with Tsukasa-kun and still caring about him. I was surprised by this when we fought during the Halloween show too…” He sighed. “Fufu, Tsukasa-kun has always been full of surprises.”

“That he has.” MEIKO agreed. “He’s as spontaneous as me.”

“Would that mean you came from him then?” Rui asked.

“I suppose it would.” MEIKO replied. She watched as Tsukasa mumbled and shifted in his sleep, the boy’s hand coming to weakly grasp KAITO’s pants. 

“Hehe, Tsukasa-kun can be so cute when he doesn’t even know it…” Rui muttered. “It makes me wonder why I’m still upset with him.”

MEIKO sighed, turning back to Rui. “It’s because you haven’t talked.” She replied. “From what I’ve seen, things for you aren’t resolved until you’ve talked them out, and you haven’t talked them out yet.”

“Can we even talk them out at this point?” Rui asked. “It’s been so long already.”

“No amount of time is too long, just as long as you get around to talking about it. Remember when I sent Miku flying in the cannon?”

Rui nodded. “I remember KAITO lecturing you about that immediately too.”

“Well, KAITO came to me later that day.” MEIKO admitted. “He told me he didn’t mean to raise his voice that much, but he said me feeding into Miku’s adrenaline rush tendencies in such a dangerous way had worried him. Miku, Rin, and Len all have high energy levels. Miku and Rin especially since they seem to be partially cat and rabbit coded.”

“Ah, Miku’s ears and tail and Rin’s bandana being more like bunny ears, right?” Rui guessed.

“Right. Miku even has slightly sharper than normal canines. She loves running around, and she loves the adrenaline that comes from doing things. So, KAITO’s been trying to find safe ways for her to do so, since even us Vocaloids can still get hurt. When I launched Miku, it set off every protective instinct KAITO had.”

“But he talked to you, and he explained where he came from?” Rui replied.

“Yes, and I forgave him for yelling at me, because he came from a place of worry.” MEIKO answered. “You’re coming from a place of worry as well, while Tsukasa is so used to handling his problems alone, that he was trying to hide from everyone that could help him. You’re both coming from different places, so all you need to do is meet in the middle.”

“Meet in the middle, huh? I think I can do that.” Rui replied.

“That’s the spirit.” MEIKO said, ruffling Rui’s hair.

“Mm… Rui…?”

Rui and MEIKO turned, seeing Tsukasa properly sat up and attempting to rub the sleep out of his eyes, yawning.

“I thought we were still in the fragment…” Tsukasa muttered, leaning over again to rest his head back on KAITO’s shoulder while he waited for the tiredness to abate a bit more. “Did it end?”

“It did.” MEIKO replied. “Tsukasa, how much do you remember?”

“I remember everything now.” Tsukasa replied. “Losing my memories was certainly strange. I don’t think I like that sensation.”

Rui dug around in his bag, pulling out the spare thermos of coffee he’d brought with him, going over to Tsukasa. “Here, you can have my spare coffee.”

Tsukasa took the thermos, clumsily opening it with still sleep heavy hands and taking a sip of the coffee, feeling slightly more energized. “Rui, can we talk?”

Rui seemed taken aback, not responding for a moment. “Finish the coffee first. If you want to talk, I can’t have you falling asleep on me.”

“I suppose that’s fair.” Tsukasa replied, glancing to the side. “KAITO’s still out?”

“Ah, he woke up right away when the fragment ended.” MEIKO replied. “All the emotional turmoil just left him exhausted. From what we learned, you both only got a few hours of proper sleep, and even that was interrupted. The fragment causing you to pass out a couple of times didn’t count as sleep to your bodies. He ended up dozing off midway through the first half of practice.”

Tsukasa looked down, frowning. “It was a bad day for him, wasn’t it? I thought at first it was just an effect of the fragment while we were in there, but now that I can remember everything, I remember him being like this before it activated.”

“It was.” MEIKO confirmed. “He just ran around after the plushies for too long and overworked himself yesterday, so we knew today would be rough. Everyone collectively decided to give him the day off and let him recover.”

“I see. Well, at least he’s getting rest now.” Tsukasa replied, finishing off the rest of the coffee, handing the thermos back to Rui. He sat up properly, accepting Rui’s help in standing up, then stretched, hearing his back crack as he did so.

“My, I didn’t know our troupe leader was a piano.” Rui joked.

“KAITO and I spent a lot of time sitting.” Tsukasa explained. “My back still feels a little stiff, but it’s nothing a nice bath later won’t fix.”

“Alright, alright.” Rui replied, then, his expression grew serious. “What did you want to talk about?”

Tsukasa sighed, frowning. “This won’t be easy.”

“I don’t care.” Rui replied. “I’m tired of running, and I think you are too.”

“Yeah, I’m tired of running… I know I haven’t been doing well, and the fragment showed me that.” Tsukasa replied. “I shouldn’t have hit you back then. You were only trying to help.”

“In the same vein, I shouldn’t have pushed you when you weren’t ready to talk.” Rui replied. “So, Tsukasa-kun, I think we can call ourselves even there.”

“Yes, but I’m still sorry.” Tsukasa commented. “I knew you were just trying to help, and I still got angry with you. I never wanted to fight with you like this again.”

“MEIKO explained some things to me.” Rui explained. “She helped me figure out why I was struggling so much, why I was becoming confused about why I was still upset with you. Hehe, it’s funny seeing her be better at my own emotions than I am.”

“Well, she is here to help us, so it makes sense in a way.”

“Yes, I suppose it does.” Rui said. “Did the fragment help you figure everything out?”

“Well, it didn’t help me figure out everything.” Tsukasa admitted. “But the memory I did see helped me figure out a few things. And I think I understand Thorpe better now.”

“That’s good. And, I’m sorry for pushing you so much when you weren’t ready.” Rui replied.

“It’s alright.” Tsukasa replied. “If you’ll have me, may I join you in practice?”

Rui smiled, a fond, soft kind of smile that he only reserved for the troupe. “I thought you’d never ask. I’d be more than happy to have you back.”

Tsukasa smiled as well. “I’m glad.”

MEIKO watched as the two walked off to rejoin the others, sighing in relief. The kids would be okay once more, and that was all that mattered.

I say that I don’t care what happens anymore,

That I don’t have a single drop of fear

But the only thing I know is that the end will be the evening sun sinking below the horizon

But that’s fine, just if you’d turn to ash and disappear

Before we’re swallowed by that figure that quietly went insane

With neither a zero or an end, the countless eyes in my head

They blabber, going on and on and on. Oh, just shut up.

Chapter Text

As December arrived, the night of the show arrived as well.

“Ah, I see…” Toya mused as he studied the music hall. "It’s usually assigned seating in here, but they made it free seating for their ambassadorial performance. Where would you like to sit, Akito?”

“Wherever works for me.” Akito replied. “Still… I wasn’t expecting them to be performing somewhere that’s a two hour train ride away.”

“I apologize for taking time out of your day off, but I really want you to see this show since Tsukasa-senpai was struggling so much with it.”

Akito sighed. “Yeah, I get that. Anyway, I’m just hoping for something more serious than the show he did for the School Festival…” Akito trailed off, noticing some open seats. “Hey, how about these seats?”

Toya studied the seats before answering. “Yes, this feels like a nice distance away from the stage. Let’s sit here.”

“We made it!” Saki exclaimed from a different part of the seating section. “Just in time too…”

“This place was further than I expected.” Ichika commented. “I guess they really are park ambassadors since they get to perform somewhere like this.”

“This might be my first time seeing Tsukasa and the others performing outside of PXL.” Shiho admitted.

“Not only that, Tsukasa was supposed to play the piano today.” Honami reminded. “I’m looking forward to that.”

“That’s right.” Ichika replied. “We never really got to hear him play the piano despite how many shows he used to do for us at Saki’s house.”

“Heh heh heh! That means you all get to see a really cool side of onii-chan today!” Saki cheered.

“Hehe. Oh, Saki…” Honami giggled.

“Hey, I think it’s about to start.” Shiho pointed out, right before the horn went off and the narrator came out.

“We will now be presenting Wonderlands x Showtime’s ambassadorial performance of ‘A Pianist Named Thorpe.’”

“Hehe. I can’t wait to see what it’s like.” Saki commented. 

The lights dimmed, and the play began.

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Thorpe sighed, sitting in the audition venue. “I made it through to the final round of auditions. This is it. I might actually pass this time. My usual problems shouldn’t get in my way…”

“Alright, next is… Thorpe. Whenever you’re ready.” The bandleader called.

Thorpe stood up, making his way to the piano bench. “O-Okay! I can do it… I’ll be fine. I just have to play like I practiced! H-Here goes nothing…!” Thorpe began playing, but it wasn’t how he’d been practicing. It was poor and unsteady, full of nerves.

The bandleader watched, frowning. “Hmm… How unfortunate…”

“T-Thank you very much…” Thorpe said when he finished, bowing before leaving the venue. “No, why does this keep happening to me?! At this rate, I’m never going to be able to join a band…!”

Toya and Akito watched, Toya silent while Akito was surprised.

“Huh…? I didn’t know Tsukasa-senpai could play this kind of character.” Akito commented.

Thorpe sighed, disappointed and upset. “The bandleader suggested I enter into that contest to build my courage, but how can I possibly do that well if I keep freezing up when playing for just two or three people…? No… I don’t have a choice… I… I want to keep playing the piano…”

“Tsukasa seems different than usual…” Shiho mused.

“He really does…” Honami replied. “Almost like he’s a completely different person…”

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“Thank you for playing so beautifully for us, Mr. Pianist!” Big Sister Squirrel exclaimed. “Now, if you’ll excuse us!” Big Sister Squirrel and Little Sister Squirrel left, Thorpe watching them go.

“They’re finally gone.” Thorpe commented, slumping. “I can practice in peace now… But there might not be any point now since the contest is tomorrow.” Thorpe sighed, standing up and going over to the window. “I only have half a day left… The stars… They’re so beautiful…”

Thorpe at this point hasn’t given up yet… Tsukasa thought. He knows he’s in a desperate situation, but from the bottom of his heart, he also knows that he doesn’t want to stop playing the piano… And so, he looks up to the stars… Tsukasa felt a wistful feeling welling up deep inside of him. I’m sorry for ever saying that you lacked initiative… I understand now that you kept persevering. You kept trying despite the odds…

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“And it’s the day of the contest.” Thorpe mused as he waited.. “Thanks to them, I was hardly able to practice at all…” He peeked into the audience part of the venue, surprised. “The seats are… Oh, it’s a full house… I’m getting dizzy just thinking about having to play in front of all of them. No, I just want to…” Thorpe was cut off by the MC.

“Entry number 20! Thorpe!”

Thorpe stood up, making his way to the piano. “I just want to keep playing…” Thorpe began playing the piano, a wistful, somber look on his face.

Thorpe lives to play the piano. Tsukasa thought. And the most important thing to me is…

“Wait, this song…” Saki breathed, remembering when Tsukasa would spend his childhood playing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. “Tsukasa…”

“Hey, not bad.” Akito commented.

“Yes…” Toya agreed. “It’s like each note’s being wrapped in light… And despite being played on the piano in classical style, it doesn’t feel like classical at all…”

“You’ll still tell me if you need to leave?” Akito asked.

“Of course, partner.” Toya replied.

They’re just like stars… Tsukasa mused. This must be what Thorpe always saw dotting the sky.

Applause rang out, startling Thorpe. “Oh no…! It’s over already?”

“That was amazing, Thorpe!” The bandleader exclaimed, going over to Thorpe. 

“B-Bandleader!” Thorpe stuttered. “All I did was play to the best of my abilities…”

“Which is why it was so magnificent.” The bandleader replied. “The old you would’ve frozen up knowing that you were playing in front of so many people. But look at you now. Despite playing for a full house, you maintained your focus and played the entire way through. How did you practice to get this good?” The bandleader asked, curious. “Could it be that you found someone to listen to you play?”

“Oh…! Some animals visited me and…!” Thorpe cut himself off. “Wait, uh… Nevermind!”

“You sure?” The bandleader asked, eyebrow raised. “Anyway, the audience is calling for an encore. Mind giving us another?”

“Yes, of course!” Thorpe replied, readying himself to play again as the applause continued. “Everyone… Including my little friends… Here’s my encore…” Thorpe began playing once more. “Looking back, those animals really seemed to enjoy the way I played the piano. Some danced, some twirled, some slept, and some were even cured of what was ailing them… That may’ve been the first time someone listened so intently to the way I played… So, thank you all very much…”

Yes, Thorpe… Tsukasa mused. I understand now… You have your piano, and I have my shows. Let’s give everyone who’s been there for us some of this light as a token of our appreciation…

Saki watched, completely in awe. “Tsukasa… He’s shining so brightly…”

Applause rang out through the music hall.

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The troupe found themselves backstage.

“Yay!” Emu cheered. “The crowd’s smiling so much!”

“Yeah, I think they really like it.” Nene agreed. “This means our next show’s a sure thing, right…?”

“Yes… However…” Tsukasa yawned, rubbing his eyes. “All this fatigue’s hitting me all at once now…”

“Well done, Tsukasa-kun.” Rui replied. “You took a massive step towards making your dreams come true. As your friend and director, I couldn’t be happier.”

“I appreciate it…!” Tsukasa exclaimed, tiredness in his eyes but a smile on his face. “And it’s all thanks to you and everyone, Rui!”

“Oh, that reminds me. We should go say hi to Saki and everyone else!” Emu commented before running off.

“Yes, that’s right! I’ll join you!” Tsukasa exclaimed, also running off.

“I really had my doubts, but he pulled through for us in the end…” Nene commented as she watched the duo go, relieved.

“Yes, he did.” Rui replied. “That’s our troupe leader for you!”

Tsukasa and Emu quickly made their way to the exit of the music hall.

“Alright, let’s wait for them here!” Tsukasa exclaimed, then noticed an elderly lady approaching him. “Hm?”

“Excuse me…” The lady began. “Didn’t you play the protagonist today? Are you free at the moment?”

“Yes, I am!” Tsukasa replied. “How can I help you?”

“I actually live just nearby and decided to stop by for today’s show.” The lady explained. “You did such a wonderful job. It was as if the stage sparkled with light.”

Tsukasa’s eyes widened, surprised.

“I’ll be rooting for you, so keep it up.”

“Thank you very much…!” Tsukasa replied. “I really appreciate it…!” I don’t know what to say… Tsukasa thought as he watched the elderly lady bid her goodbyes and leave. This performance only became possible after KAITO and I ended up in that fragment and I was reminded of the importance of stars to people, and yet, I’m the one being praised. Plus, the pain I felt when watching that memory play out… the sadness and numbness I felt… I was able to tap into that to play this role. I couldn’t be happier… And to keep growing as an actor, I want to keep experiencing more and more new things. “Alright!” Tsukasa exclaimed. “I vow to keep learning as much as I can and become a true star!”

“Hey, that voice, it’s Tsukasa!”

Tsukasa jumped. “Ah, that must be Saki I’m hearing! Saki!” Tsukasa ran off, stopping in front of Saki and the others, beginning to chat with them.

“Up, up, up we go!” Miku cheered as she appeared on Tsukasa’s phone. “Oh, Tsukasa-kun’s talking with his friends!”

KAITO appeared beside Miku, though he was more careful about it. “Be careful, Miku. What if someone sees you peeking out of his phone?”

“No, I wanna congratulate Tsukasa-kun too!” Miku protested.

“Hehe. I understand how you feel, but that may have to wait until later…” KAITO replied.

“Thank you all for coming!” Tsukasa’s voice could be heard from outside of his pocket. “Allow me to show you my appreciation as a future star!”

“Hehe!” Miku grinned. “Good for you, Tsukasa-kun!”

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Rui found the limo ride back to be peaceful, the limo having been taken instead of Hinata’s car since it was the only thing big enough to fit everyone at once, Shosuke driving, with Keisuke in the front passenger seat. Himself, Tsukasa, Emu, Nene, and Hinata were spread out in the back, Tsukasa, Emu, and Nene all asleep. He could see Emu slumped against her sister, Hinata having a gentle smile on her face, while Nene was just slumped back in the seat, and Tsukasa’s head had long fallen against Rui’s shoulder, causing Rui to reposition the shorter so he’d be more comfortable.

“You all put on a wonderful show.” Hinata quietly praised. “Though, Rui, are you not tired?”

Keisuke glanced back at Hinata’s question. “It has been a long day for you all. The others are all asleep already, and we still have a long ride back.”

“I’ll be fine for a little longer.” Rui replied. “I’m just… taking it all in is all… It’s unbelievable really. This show almost didn’t happen… but Tsukasa-kun pulled through anyway and made it possible.”

“Tenma does seem to really be something.” Hinata commented. “I’ve never seen anyone with as much energy as Emu.”

“He has a lot of energy, yes.” Shosuke commented, joining the conversation. “From a business perspective, it’s both a good and a bad thing.”

“How so?” Rui questioned, intrigued.

“Think about it this way. You have a robot like that, right? Lion Dance Robot I believe it was?” Shosuke questioned.

“Yes. He’s alright when he’s properly cooled, but the moment he gets overheated, he becomes full of energy and it can sometimes cause trouble until we can get him contained and rebooted.”

“That’s what I mean.” Shosuke replied. “Tsukasa’s energy is great for the park now. But as he gets older, grows in experience, he’s only going to want to do more and more things. Eventually, in the future, that could cause some conflict, but right now, it seems to be a long way out.”

“I agree.” Hinata said. “He adores you all as a troupe, and he adores the park. I think he’ll take everything he can get from it for as long as he can.”

“Fufu, Tsukasa-kun is quite selfless.” Rui chuckled. “He’ll take all he can for as long as he can but he’ll give back twice as much. 12,000%, as he always says.”

“I think I like that about him.” Hinata admitted. “But… It also worries me.”

“We’ve been worried about it too.” Keisuke admitted.

“Worried?” Rui asked, concerned. “Why?”

“Selfless people in this world are few and far between.” Shosuke began. “This, we all know. When you do find a selfless person, you know you can rely on them. However, with selfless people, there’s always the question of how far they’ll go. Tenma’s been willing to do some pretty dangerous dynamic stunts for you, correct?”

“Correct.” Rui replied. “Even with extensive safety measures, there’s always the chance things could go wrong, but he takes it all in stride anyway.”

“Well, picture this. You ask him to jump from a 100 meter pole onto a moving trapeze, then do multiple backflips in a row before landing on a safety net. Do you think he’d do it?” Shosuke asked.

Rui frowned, thinking back on previous shows they’d done. Thinking back to when they watched Tsukasa perform as Peter Pan in the workshop. Thinking back to the Halloween show, and how Tsukasa had gotten hurt after the robots malfunctioned, and how Tsukasa had been all too willing to do the stunt again even after risking a potentially serious head injury. “He would, without a doubt.”

“Alright then. If he’s willing to go that far in stunts…” Shosuke trailed off.

“Then, is there any real limit to how far he’s willing to go…” Rui finished. “A dangerous question indeed. If he goes too far, he could get hurt, or killed, or, best case scenario, suffer burnout.”

“Exactly.” Keisuke replied. “That’s why it worries us.”

“Hmm… I see your point.” Rui replied, unconsciously rubbing his eyes as exhaustion set in, smudging his eye liner.

Hinata noticed. “I think you need to go to sleep, Kamishiro.”

Rui yawned, shaking his head. “I can… make it a bit longer. This conversation’s important…”

Keisuke turned fully around in his seat, noticing how Rui was dozing off as he was talking, the time between the boy’s blinks becoming more and more prolonged. “No, Hinata’s right. We can have this conversation in the morning. You’re all having a sleepover at the house, so don’t worry too much about missing the opportunity to have this conversation.”

“But…” Rui was cut off by a yawn, head falling against Tsukasa’s. “Mm… Alright…” It didn’t take long for Rui to fall asleep, Keisuke turning back around in his seat.

Hinata sighed. “That kid… Always worried about things when there’s still time to deal with them.”

“He’s just an overthinker is all.” Shosuke replied. “We all know that, but he needs the rest, so we can delay the rest of the conversation until tomorrow.”

“Shosuke is right.” Keisuke commented. “They’ve all been through a lot today. Two hours there, set up, the performance, tear down, greeting fans after… It’s no wonder they’re so exhausted.”

Rui mumbled in his sleep, shifting before settling back down.

Hinata watched. “Yes, it’s no wonder. Well, at least they’re all getting rest now.” They all look so comfortable too… Tenma, Kamishiro, Kusanagi, Emu… You’re all going places. And I’ll be glad to watch as you grow.

When morning comes, you let out a sigh. It’s okay if you color in your day after that

You can’t taste the bitter, the sweet, or anything at all?

I wish happiness will come to that kind of you

Raise your spirits and fly away,

It’s okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes

Aren’t we just inevitably going around in circles? Clamor, clamor, it’s okay for you to just enjoy it

I’m sure that’s right, that’s how it is

It’s okay if you crave those dreams and hopes

I’ve been waiting for it- There it is!

I rush up towards those 88 stars!

Chapter Text

“Are we going to wake them?” Hinata asked as the limo pulled into the Otori mansion’s driveway.

“We’ll have to so they can all change.” Shosuke replied.

Hinata turned back to the backseat, shaking Emu awake.

“Hm… Onii-chan…?” Emu muttered, stretching in her seat.

“We’re home, Emu.” Hinata explained. “We had to wake you up so you could get changed. You go with Keisuke to the house. I’ll wake the rest of your friends.”

Emu’s sleepy mind took a bit to register what Hinata said, but when she did register it, she nodded, getting out of the limo and heading up to the mansion with Keisuke, rubbing her eyes as she went and fighting back yawns.

Hinata repeated the process with Nene, sending the girl off before turning her attention back to Tsukasa and Rui. She shook Rui first, waiting for a reaction.

Rui mumbled in protest, but when he was shaken again, he blearily opened his eyes, straightening up in his seat. “Otori-san?”

“Please, just Hinata, remember?” Hinata reminded the purple haired teen. “Anyway, we’re here, so you can head up and get ready for bed.”

Rui nodded, stepping out of the limo and going up to the mansion.

Hinata turned her attention to the last person in the back, Tsukasa. She knew Shosuke would go park the limo once the two were out, so she tried shaking Tsukasa, waiting for a reaction, though the eye bags now noticeable from his worn out makeup made her debate if he’d even wake right away or not. She was proven right when Tsukasa barely stirred, only mumbling before shifting in his sleep and settling back down.

“He’s not waking up?” Shosuke asked, turning around in the driver’s seat and watching the situation.

“He’s got bags under his eyes worse than Kamishiro’s…” Hinata replied, frowning. “And he practically passed out the moment he put on his seatbelt. Shosuke, I may be wrong, but I think he overworked himself.”

Shosuke’s eyes widened, surprised, before his gaze hardened. “Hm… that may be true. I’ll add that to Keisuke and I’s discussion with Kamishiro in the morning. Here, I’ll carry Tenma in, and you can park the limo.”

Hinata nodded, getting out of the limo and switching to the driver’s seat while Shosuke leaned into the limo, picking Tsukasa up and carrying him into the mansion. He toed his shoes off in the genkan, taking Tsukasa’s off and setting them down as well before carrying the younger to the living room, depositing him on the couch.

Keisuke watched, eyebrow raised. “He didn’t wake up?”

Shosuke shook his head. “Hinata suspects he overworked himself with how deep his eyebags are. I told her I’d add it to the discussion you and I have with Kamishiro in the morning. Have they all gotten ready for bed?”

“I told them they could skip showering for the night and just do it in the morning. The last I knew, Emu had finished and Kusanagi was taking her turn. Kamishiro should be next.” Keisuke replied.

“Let’s let Tenma rest until Kamishiro is done. Tenma was on stage the longest, so he’s likely the most exhausted.” Shosuke commented.

The Otori brothers listened to the sounds coming from upstairs, Hinata joining them after Nene had finished in the bathroom and Rui had taken her place. A few minutes later, they heard Rui leave the bathroom, padding down in socked feet to Emu’s room.

Hinata took action again, gently shaking Tsukasa. “Tenma, we’re here.”

This time, Tsukasa reacted, groaning.

“Tenma, you need to get ready for bed.” Hinata tried again.

“Mm…” Tsukasa peeled his eyes open, taking in his new surroundings. “When did we get here…?”

“Around twenty minutes ago.” Keisuke explained. “We woke everyone up in the limo so they could get ready for bed, but you didn’t wake up, so Shosuke carried you inside to give you a little extra time. Kamishiro just went to Emu’s room, so now it’s your turn to get ready. Knowing Emu, she probably laid the pajamas you left over out in the bathroom already.”

Tsukasa nodded, rubbing his eyes as he sat up, stretching. He stood up, bidding the three elder Otoris goodnight before padding to the bathroom, faintly registering the call that he could skip showering for the night. He shut and locked the bathroom door, noticing his clothes sitting beside the sink. He took some makeup wipes and carefully worked on taking off his makeup, then threw them away, finally changing out of his day clothes into his night clothes. He yawned, opening the door after throwing his outfit into the laundry basket, trudging his way to Emu’s room. The lights were already off, the other three asleep, but the star projector Emu had gave off enough light, and he made his way to Emu’s giant beanbag, flopping down on it and drifting off once more.

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The next morning found Rui up bright and early at 7 AM, sitting in the Otori kitchen and being served a coffee with plenty of milk and sugar. He accepted the mug, setting it on the table. “Thank you, Shosuke-san.”

“No need to thank me.” Shosuke replied, sitting down beside Keisuke with his own coffee mug in hand. “It’s the least I can do for you having to wake up so early. You’re free to go back to sleep when we’re done discussing things, if you’d like.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Rui replied, gaining a serious expression. “So, Shosuke-san, Keisuke-san, what did you want to talk about?”

“Well,” Keisuke began, “as we told you last night, Tenma worries us at times.”

“Ah, in terms of his high energy level, right?” Rui replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“There’s that, and there’s also something else.” Shosuke commented. “Something Hinata realized just last night.”

“Something Hinata-san realized?” Rui asked, surprised.

“Yes. When she initially went to wake Tenma up, she noticed eyebags deeper than your own. We already understand and have accepted why you have yours, and have taken no action since you’ve promised to try and work on getting onto a regular sleep schedule. However, as for Tenma, we know he has a regular sleep schedule, so she came to the conclusion that he was overworking himself. Do you know anything about that?”

Rui frowned, looking down into his coffee. So… it’s at the point that even Hinata-san noticed… This could get bad soon then… I have to convince them that Tsukasa can still do shows… “Unfortunately, I do. It hasn’t affected his work performance, however.”

“How it affects his work performance isn’t the point here, Kamishiro.” Keisuke replied. “How did he overwork himself?”

“As you know, Kamikou had its most recent round of exams both in preparation for midterms and for midterms..” Rui began. “Tsukasa-kun’s worst subject is physics, and he didn’t do well on the physics exam to see how ready you were for midterms, so he had to take remedial classes. He… didn’t take his failure well.” He admitted, taking another sip of his coffee. Anything to avoid seeing the looks on Shosuke and Keisuke’s faces. Anything to avoid being reminded of the past.

“Do you mind elaborating, Kamishiro?” Shosuke asked, a serious and grim look on his face.

Rui gulped, nervous. “I didn’t see hide nor hair of him for nearly two weeks.” Rui’s voice was soft, his gaze turning distant. “Turns out, during all that time, he was studying so much he was neglecting everything else. Something in him snapped, and I have yet to figure out what. He’s never reacted this way before when he’s done poorly in physics, so why now? Aoyagi-kun went to Tsukasa-kun’s house to show off his half of the promise ring set he got for Shinonome-kun’s birthday after the party, and from my understanding, he must’ve found Tsukasa-kun passed out in the armchair and taken it badly, because I got a text from Shinonome-kun that Aoyagi-kun had dissociated after he called him in a panic, and to come immediately.

Of course I came, why wouldn’t I? This is Tsukasa-kun we’re talking about. What I found was… bad…” Rui trailed off, trying to piece together his words, even as his mind was vividly remembering that day, cheek stinging in phantom pain. “I went up to Tsukasa-kun’s room, and found Tsukasa-kun passed out in the armchair, his room littered with textbooks, printed out practice problems, failed problems, and energy drink cans. I later found out he only meant to take a fifteen minute break, and ended up passing out instead once he finally stopped working. I moved him to his bed, and then helped Aoyagi-kun come out of his episode when it was clear he wasn’t coming out of it on his own. Aoyagi-kun adores Tsukasa-kun. Looks at Tsukasa-kun like a brother, though he’s too shy to admit it.

Once Aoyagi-kun was settled, I went around to making food. I knew Tsukasa-kun would need it, even if he didn’t think so. Right before it finished, Tsukasa-kun must’ve woken up, because he came downstairs. It was only meant to be a simple conversation about the fact he’d overworked himself, but…” Rui cut himself off, only just now noticing how his hands were shaking.

“Kamishiro?”

Rui looked up, gaze meeting Hinata’s, unaware of when she’d gotten there. “Yes, Hinata-san?”

“You’re crying.” Hinata pointed out, handing Rui her handkerchief.

Rui brought a hand up to his face, pulling it back to find it was wet. “Huh… I guess I am…”

“Did something happen between you and Tenma that night, Kamishiro?” Hinata asked.

Rui nodded, wiping at his face with the handkerchief. “Tsukasa-kun and I… we got into an argument… I touched a nerve and… he slapped me. He regretted it, I could tell, but in that moment, my brain wouldn’t let me believe that. Shinonome-kun and Aoyagi-kun came in right after that happened, Shinonome-kun yelling at us for fighting. He told me him and I would be having a discussion about the fight, but I managed to avoid him, so that discussion didn’t happen. However, Tsukasa-kun and I began avoiding each other outside of what was necessary for our shows.”

“You and Tenma avoided each other?” Keisuke asked, surprised. “What’s the nickname for you two again…? Weirdo Wombo Combo?”

Rui nodded. “There’s also Weirdo One Two. But… we just couldn’t figure out our emotions towards each other after that fight. It took until most of the way through practicing for our last show for us to properly talk things out and apologize to each other.”

The three Otoris looked at each other, frowning, knowing how serious it was that it had taken weeks for Rui and Tsukasa to talk things out. They knew teenagers didn’t always know their own emotions, but at the same time, several weeks of not speaking about it and letting things fester could’ve ended badly.

“You’re lucky things went as well as they did, Kamishiro.” Shosuke commented. “I know teenagers aren’t always the best at figuring out their emotions. All three of us went through the same thing back then. However, if your bond with each other were any weaker, letting things fester for as long as you did could’ve had a much different outcome.”

“I understand…” Rui replied, ashamed of himself at his previous inaction.

“What matters now is that you both have apologized.” Hinata said, trying to reassure Rui. “However, what Tenma did was very dangerous. He could’ve landed in the hospital, and we can’t overlook that.”

“Shosuke and I have a proposition for you.” Keisuke explained. “We will allow you to do your Christmas show, but only if Tenma doesn’t overwork himself again. If he collapses like that again, your show will be canceled, and you’ll go on an official hiatus until Tenma is fully recovered.

Rui frowned, looking into his now empty coffee mug as he thought about the proposal. Doing our Christmas show will allow us to continue rising in the show contest… But if Tsukasa-kun collapses again… we can forget the show contest and any shows for the foreseeable future… It’s for the best because of his health but… Why did Tsukasa-kun overwork himself over physics in the first place when he’s never done it before? I’ll have to ask him at some point… but he’s been dodging the subject whenever it comes up. I’ll have to think about this tactically then. I can’t let Tsukasa-kun find out though, or he might stress himself out and actually collapse. “I’ll accept the proposal, under one condition.”

“Oh?” Shosuke asked, eyebrow raised. “What condition?”

“Tsukasa-kun can’t find out.” Rui replied. “Knowing that everything is determined by his health will only stress him out more. If we want him to have a good, proper chance at recovery, we can’t put even more stress on his shoulders.”

“Alright, we’ll accept your condition.” Shosuke replied. “But if he does collapse, and we do put you on hiatus, telling him about our deal is on your shoulders, Kamishiro.”

“I understand.” Rui replied. “Is that everything you wished to discuss?” Even with the coffee, his irregular sleep schedule and the recent stress he’d been through left him tired, and he wanted nothing more than to be back on Emu’s giant star pillow, curled up like a cat. He hadn’t even bothered changing out of his pajamas, not having the energy that early in the morning to do so. He hadn’t even brushed his hair, which showed in how unruly it currently was, even more so than usual.

“That’s all.” Keisuke confirmed. “We apologize for waking you up so early for this, but we know you wouldn’t want Tenma to hear.”

Rui stood up, Hinata taking his empty coffee mug and depositing it in the sink. “It’s alright. It’s true that Tsukasa-kun shouldn’t have to worry about this, even though he’s the troupe leader. As the director, an actor’s health falls under my duties. Now, if you’ll please excuse me.” Rui left the kitchen, making his way back to Emu’s room. He quietly opened the door just enough to slip through, observing his friends. Nene was on the guest futon, sleeping peacefully, while Emu and Tsukasa were sprawled out on the bed and the giant beanbag, each taking up as much space as possible. Rui shut the door, carefully making his way back to the giant star pillow and flopping down on it. He snuggled into it, shifting around until he found a position that was comfortable, closing his eyes with a content sigh. He had dreams of sending Tsukasa flying into space to get back to, after all.

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Rui found himself waking up again a pleasant several hours later to the sound of hushed whispers, stretching out on the pillow before blearily opening his eyes, looking around the room.

“You really are like a cat, you know.” Tsukasa commented when he saw Rui was awake, though he still kept his voice down. “Nene’s in the shower at the moment. Emu and I have already had ours, so you won’t have to wait long. We’ll go down for lunch after. They let us sleep in, it seems.”

Rui snuggled back into the pillow, closing his eyes again. “Mm… wake me up when she’s done…”

“R-Rui! You’re really going back to sleep?!” Tsukasa whisper shouted.

“Hehe.” Emu giggled. “Rui-kun’s definitely like a cat! It’s good he’s getting more sleep though.”

“Hmm… I suppose you’re right.” Tsukasa replied, reaching over to play with Rui’s hair.

Rui hummed, relaxing into the contact, letting himself slip into a sort of daze. He could still hear and feel everything around him, but it was all faded, more background noise than an actual concern. So, knowing that, he let himself drift, feeling fuzzy and relaxed for the first time in a while. He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that, but eventually, he felt clarity return as Tsukasa removed his hand, and he whined at the loss of contact, opening his eyes with a pout to see why Tsukasa had stopped.

“Ah, sorry, Rui.” Tsukasa replied, pointing his thumb in Nene’s direction, the girl now sitting on the beanbag and playing one of her rhythm games on her phone. “It’s your turn in the shower now.”

“Alright, alright…” Rui replied. He stood up, stretching, his back cracking as he did. Then, he trudged his way over to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. He stripped out of his pajamas, noticing day clothes already set out for him on the counter. Huh, Emu or one of the others must’ve put them there. Rui stepped into the shower, turning it on, relaxing at the feeling of the water running down his back, feeling how his muscles untensed at the heat hitting them. “Ah… Just what I need after a long performance like yesterday’s…” He stayed like that for a few moments, simply soaking everything in, including his emotions, then moved. 

He picked up the shampoo he’d left here specifically for sleepovers, opening it and dumping a good amount onto his hand before putting the shampoo back. Rui found himself in a good mood as he lathered the shampoo into his hair, so he started humming as he picked up the body wash, unscented, unlike his dragon fruit scented shampoo and strawberry scented conditioner, but he’d never been one for scented body wash, so he simply washed himself, then rinsed everything off, grabbing his conditioner and repeating the same process he had for his shampoo, waiting for it to set before finally rinsing it off, relaxing under the water for a few more moments before turning the shower off, stepping out of the shower and wrapping his hair in one towel, using another one to dry himself off. He changed into the day clothes laid out for him, a simple pair of black sweatpants and a purple sweater, and took the towel on his hair off, throwing both towels in the hamper along with his pajamas, since he had to go home that night, then picked up the hair dryer, flicking it on and running it until his hair was dry.

Finally, Rui flicked the hair dryer off, leaving the bathroom and making his way down to the dining room, where he saw everyone else sitting, already digging into a delicious meal of udon, chicken curry, and onigiri. He sat down at the table, quickly serving himself what he wanted, turning to the three elder Otoris, knowing their father was still out at other locations in the Otori group. “Thank you for the food.”

“We told the cooks some of your favorite foods,” Shosuke began, “so they’ll be pleased to know you enjoyed the meal. Are any of you staying tonight?”

“I have to go home tonight.” Rui explained. “My parents are home from their business trip for a few days, and they promised to take me on a short trip to Tokyo.”

“Tokyo?” Tsukasa asked. “I envy you, Rui. There’s a production of Snow White in Tokyo, but Toya has an event on Monday, and I promised him I’d be there.”

“An event?” Rui asked.

“A special competition right before Christmas.” Tsukasa explained. “It’s being held where STAY GOLDEN is held every year.”

“Interesting… Well, I’ll be sure to bring you back souvenirs.” Rui promised. “What about you, Nene-chan?”

“I’m staying.” Nene replied. “Emu and I had already planned to have a sleepover anyway.”

“Nene-chan’s gonna help me beat Hinata-nii at Mario Kart!” Emu exclaimed.

“Fufu, good luck then.” Rui replied, taking a sip of his drink. “What are we going to do after lunch?”

“Shosuke and I have to go to the park and check on some things.” Keisuke replied. “You four have free reign of the house, as long as you don’t become a bother for the staff.”

“Not to worry, Keisuke-san.” Tsukasa said. “We’ll be on our best behavior. I promise you that.”

“We’ll be back in time for dinner then.” Shosuke commented, he and Keisuke standing up and taking their empty dishes into the kitchen.

Rui watched them go, listening as Emu called out a goodbye to her brothers, looking back down at his food as he remembered the morning’s conversation. So much rides on Tsukasa-kun’s current health and Tsukasa-kun himself getting better… But what set Tsukasa-kun off in the first place? Why did he overwork himself just for a physics test? He’s never freaked out over physics before. Is it something to do with his parents…? But that doesn’t make any sense… The Tenma parents have always seemed nice… Could whatever caused the overwork be shown in Sekai…? I’ll have to investigate at some point.

“Rui-kun?”

Rui jumped, looking up. “Emu-chan?”

“Are you okay?” Emu asked. “You’ve been spaced out for the past ten minutes.”

“I have?” Rui asked. “Sorry, I was just thinking about what we could do for the Christmas show.”

“What ideas do you have?” Nene asked.

“There’s an American movie where Santa is a secret agent. I was thinking we could make an adaptation of that movie. I can translate it into Japanese for us, but I’m trying to figure out how we could make the CGI work.” Rui continued, trying to keep his lie going for as long as possible, though it was only a half lie, since he had been trying to come up with an idea for the Christmas show anyway.

“Can we watch the movie?” Emu asked.

“It’ll take me a few days to burn a disc and make subtitles, but it’ll be doable after that.” Rui replied. “I can text the group chat once I have the movie burned and translated.”

Emu cheered, finishing her food. “Come on then! You three finish eating and we can work on Rui-kun’s idea!”

“I’m already finished.” Nene replied, taking her dishes and depositing them in the sink in the kitchen before coming back. 

Tsukasa and Rui also finished their food, depositing their dishes in the kitchen before the group made their way back up to Emu’s room.

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The hours passed by quickly and pleasantly. The troupe spent time playing Mario Kart, Monopoly, truth or dare, and other games, also discussing some ways they could implement some of Rui’s preexisting creations into the show, as well as potential new creations Rui could make. When Rui found himself on the train back home, he couldn’t believe how peaceful the day had been, but he found himself pondering Tsukasa’s situation once again. I’ll visit Sekai tonight, and see if I can find any signs of Tsukasa-kun’s turmoil there. If I don’t… I’m not sure what I’ll do. But I have to do something. Everything rides on Tsukasa-kun’s well being. I can’t just leave Tsukasa-kun to suffer… He saved me, and so, I want to return the favor, even if he doesn’t realize the gravity of his actions. It’s the least I can do to repay all he’s done for me.

DREAM PLACE DREAM PLACE let it reach and resound more

Brighten up tomorrow! Yeah

DREAM DAY DREAM DAY I want to keep chasing this scenery forever and ever!

Yeah, yeah! Hey, give me more! Give me lots of joy and even things like tears and smiles; we’ll be together forever!

Yeah, yeah! Hey, give me more! Together with the many colors that come with it

Keep shining on the future DREAM PLACE BABY

Chapter Text

Rui arrived home to find Osamu not in the living room, so probably in his workshop, and Hiyori in the kitchen, the smell wafting from the kitchen meaning she was probably making… Rui ran into the kitchen, barely stopping in time to not hit the table, where Hiyori was placing a batch of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. “You made cookies?”

Hiyori laughed, ruffling her son’s hair. “I did. Your dad’s in his workshop. The cookies will probably be cool enough to eat within the next hour or so.”

Rui cheered, something he only did for when he got a sweet he particularly liked, hugging Hiyori. “Thanks, mom!”

“Hehe. You’re welcome. Did you enjoy your sleepover? How did your latest show go?” Hiyori asked.

Rui gasped. “I completely forgot to tell you!” He launched into a rambled explanation of everything that had happened, leaving out his worries for Tsukasa for the time being. He wasn’t sure how long he talked, but he knew it was long enough for Osamu to come out of his workshop, Rui grabbing a cookie as he did. He paused talking to eat the cookie, and that’s when he realized how thirsty he was.

Hiyori chuckled at her son’s enthusiasm, taking the water bottle Osamu handed her and passing it to Rui.

Rui took the water bottle, opening it and chugging half of it before he set it down. “Our next show is practically guaranteed too! I can’t wait to see where we get to go next!”

“Our bosses have agreed to give us time off once you know the date, so let us know and we’ll be there.” Osamu commented.

“I’ll let you know as soon as Keisuke-san and Shosuke-san let us know.” Rui promised. His day couldn’t be any better.

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Rui was beginning to realize how wrong his previous statement was. He’d spent the rest of the night just doing things with his parents until they retreated to their room for the night, leaving Rui the perfect opportunity to go to Sekai and do some digging. But so far, he wasn’t finding anything, and he was beginning to grow frustrated. I’m almost to the edge of Sekai. I thought I’d find something by now, but I haven’t found a single thing. Could it be that this isn’t tied to Tsukasa-kun’s true feelings? In that case, it would mean there wouldn’t be anything affected in Sekai by whatever’s bothering him. But I can’t think of this as a waste of time. There has to be something here that can help me. Maybe I can try talking to one of the vocaloids. Just… not KAITO… He’s not actively avoiding me anymore, but things are still awkward between us. 

Mind made up, Rui made the long trek back to the main show tent, stepping inside. When he saw who was on stage though, he froze. KAITO. It’s KAITO. Just the vocaloid I was hoping to avoid. Now what do I do…?

KAITO looked up from the script he was working on, pausing when he saw Rui. The two just stared at each other, neither knowing what to say, until KAITO finally, reluctantly, broke the silence. “Um… Do you want to come sit…?” He shuffled his papers around, gesturing awkwardly to the spot on stage beside him.

Rui sighed, but took the invitation for what it was, moving to sit on the stage, but far enough from KAITO that the awkwardness of being right next to each other with the current uncertainty of their relationship status wouldn’t be a problem. He stayed silent, eyes darting anywhere but KAITO, unsure what to do.

KAITO noticed, trying to go back to working on the script, sighing every so often when he reached a difficult part. Eventually, the awkwardness of the situation prevented him from doing anything, so he put his pen down, setting his laptop to the side as well, since it was on his lap. “Um… How was the sleepover…? I heard from Rin about it…”

“It was… It was nice.” Rui hesitantly replied. “We uh… we played Mario Kart for a while…”

“That’s… That’s nice…” KAITO went silent, unsure what else to say. I thought I was fine but… having to actually interact with Rui is more difficult than I realized… I know I have to get over this so I can help him to the best of my abilities, but how can I do that when I’m the one that caused him to dissociate a few weeks ago? Because of my depressive episode, he dissociated. I can’t have that happening again. I have to keep my emotions in check, but how can I do that constantly? What do I do in this situation…?

Rui sighed, staring at the stage floor. This… I wasn’t expecting to run into KAITO… This feels so awkward… Do I just leave? We could pretend this conversation never happened, but I still need answers as to what’s troubling Tsukasa-kun… What do I do?

“This isn’t getting us anywhere…”

Rui jolted, surprised by KAITO’s sudden comment. “Pardon me?”

KAITO sighed, looking frustrated with himself. “It’s… This awkwardness. It’s not getting us anywhere. If we can’t get past it, how can we even talk with each other?”

“It’s been so long though.” Rui replied. “This has become our new normal, ever since… that day…” He frowned, a pensive look on his face. “I’ve been wondering if it would be worth it to try and talk things out… But I haven’t been able to figure out where to even start.”

“Heh, I suppose we’re in the same boat then.” KAITO replied. “I uh… It’s been rough, ever since that happened. MEIKO actually gave me a talking to the other day.”

Rui blinked, surprised. “She did…?”

KAITO gave a hesitant nod. “Yes, she did.”

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KAITO found his work on the show being interrupted by none other than MEIKO, who’d managed to track him down to the bench in front of the singing flowers. “MEIKO? Do you need something?”

MEIKO frowned, uncharacteristically serious. “Yes. You and I need to talk, KAITO.”

“Talk?” KAITO repeated, noticing how serious MEIKO was. “Did something happen that I should know about? Is it the plushies? Is it Him?”

“It’s not the plushies, and it’s not Him.” MEIKO replied. “This is about you and Rui.” She sat down beside KAITO, leaving him no opportunity to escape the conversation. “You two have been avoiding each other for far too long. You can’t help the kids to your full abilities if you’re avoiding one of them.”

KAITO frowned, looking down at the ground, gripping his uniform pants. “How can I deserve to face Rui after what I did…?” He muttered, low enough he initially thought that MEIKO hadn’t heard him.

“It’s not about whether or not you deserve to after that day.” MEIKO replied. “You deserve to talk to Rui. But you two are letting this hurt fester, and it won’t lead to anything good if you let it continue for too long.”

“So you’re saying we should discuss it?” KAITO asked.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” MEIKO said. “KAITO, you can’t beat yourself up about what happened forever.” She laid a hand on KAITO’s, gently squeezing it. “KAITO, you have to accept that what happened with Rui wasn’t either of your faults. You can’t control how your brains are wired. You can’t control Rui’s trauma. If you continue to deny that like you have been, you’ll only continue to tear yourself apart.”

“I hurt him though, MEIKO!” KAITO cried. “You saw what he was like!”

“But you didn’t hurt him on purpose.” MEIKO replied, noticing how KAITO paused as he took in her words. “It was an accident. None of you knew he’d be triggered, and by the looks of things, Rui himself didn’t even know.” MEIKO sighed, looking out at the singing flowers. “That’s why you two need to talk. You need to figure this out between yourselves. The rest of us can give advice, but we can’t truly solve everything.”

KAITO sighed, looking down at the ground. “I know this may sound strange, but do you really think it’s that simple?” He asked, despondent. “Every problem the troupe has ever had has easily been solved with our help. Now that it’s between a virtual singer and the kids we’re supposed to protect, is it really all that simple?”

“It may not seem simple, embroiled in the conflict as you are, but… compared to Tsukasa and Him’s overarching problem, I think this is easy for you to solve. It may not feel that way, but I believe it will be.”

KAITO finally looked up, tears pricking in the corners of his eyes that MEIKO was quick to dab away with her handkerchief. “Well, if you’re sure… I’ll give it a try…”

“Of course I’m sure.” MEIKO replied. “And if you get nervous about it, you can always come to Miku, Luka or I. One of us will help you out, you know that.”

“I know… Thank you, MEIKO.” KAITO replied, giving a small, weak smile. 

“You’re welcome. Now, if you need anything else, I’ll be at the Ferris Wheel. I promised the twins I’d play with them for a bit.”

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“MEIKO told me you likely didn’t blame me.” KAITO commented.

Rui sighed, gripping the legs of his pants. “Well, I don’t really…” He softly admitted. “We all know I’ve got trauma… There’s no denying that. That day must’ve just been… a bad day for me, trigger wise. I never know what’s going to set me off.”

“Never?” KAITO asked, surprised. 

“Never.” Rui replied. “I’m not too concerned though. Unlike yours, it doesn’t affect my daily life, so I can live without knowing.”

“How can you just… live without it affecting your daily life?” KAITO asked. “Whenever I can’t feel anything, I can’t bring myself to do a single thing, even if it’s something I should be doing that day.”

“You can’t do anything because when you stop feeling like that, you don’t have energy.” Rui explained. “I used to be like that, back in middle school, but… after I met the rest of the troupe, things slowly started getting better for me. I’m not sure it’s permanent, especially since one day we might all go our separate ways to pursue our dreams, but I'll welcome the change for now nonetheless.”

“You’re very strong then.” KAITO replied, though he still felt awkward and hesitant. “Far stronger than I could ever be.”

Rui paused, surprised at the admission. “No, you’re the stronger one.” Rui replied. “You can actually face your problems. I mean, you’re the one that initiated us figuring out what went wrong that day. I just run away from them.”

“You may run away, but look what running away got you.” KAITO replied. “Isn’t running away a good thing, if it means it leads you away from the bad?”

Rui gave a self depreciative chuckle. “It’s not always a good thing, KAITO. It’s just worked in my favor so far. That’s all. My friend, Mizuki, would say the same.”

“Mizuki, you’ve mentioned her before…” KAITO mused. “Is she someone important to you aside from friendship?”

“She’s the reason I made it through middle school.” Rui admitted. “And I’m the reason she made it through. We found each other on the rooftop of our old junior high.”

“The rooftop?” KAITO asked, surprised. “Not your classes?”

Rui sighed. “KAITO, the only people who went on that rooftop were couples, rarely, but most of the time, depressed teenagers who just wanted things to end, or who had given up already.”

“And you two were…” KAITO trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

“We were the latter.” Rui admitted. “Things… weren’t the best back then… My mindset was pretty dark as well.”

“Dark?” KAITO asked, relaxing a little now that there was an issue he could try to help with. 

“Things like, ‘what if I gave up?’, ‘what if I jumped?’, ‘why am I even still here?’, ‘what’s the point in everything?” Rui’s voice grew shakier as he spoke, and he found himself not wanting to continue speaking, voicing the thoughts reminding him of just how dark things had been for him back then.

KAITO frowned, scooting over to Rui and hesitantly placing a hand on his shoulder, relaxing when it wasn’t pushed away. “Well, I’m glad you don’t think like that anymore.” He admitted. “Though… it must’ve been hard. Weren’t you tired?”

“I was tired for a long, long time…” Rui admitted. “I never told my parents everything that happened. Just enough that they tried to send me to a prestigious school my first year of high school in the hopes I’d connect with people like me. I didn’t, however, since the rules were far too strict, and so my second year, this year, I was transferred to Kamikou.”

“You’ve been through a lot.” KAITO commented. “But, you’re still going strong. I’m proud of you, Rui.”

“Heh, thanks, KAITO-nii.”

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“...m …ir….d”

Luka frowned, turning to face the small boy, the duo tucked away in a hidden room backstage. Only the small boy could allow entry at the moment, so when he didn’t want anyone in, the entry just looked like part of the wall. It was a small and dark room, the only light being the slowly dying star stickers on the ceiling. Luka couldn’t even see the dresser, closet, or toy basket anymore, nor could she see the bed. All she could see was the building blocks the boy currently had out in front of him. Luka watched another star sticker die, frowning. She knelt down to the boy, carding her fingers through his hair. “Your room is so dark now… This isn’t a good place for you to stay in forever, okay?”

“Time… running out…” The small boy pointed somewhere. 

Luka frowned again, knowing what he meant. She took his hand, standing up. “Why don’t we go somewhere else?” She led the small boy out of the room, closing the door behind her. “KAITO-nii is probably searching for you if he’s done with his visitor.”

Don’t mind me. Stay away from me.

Shut your eyes tightly in the face of this conflict.

No need to return the favor. Talk to me.

Look straight into my eyes through the window.

Don’t sleep. Put it into words.

Squint when you’re faced with that shining light.

Don’t laugh. And if I may ask of that attachment blooming within you:

Just consume me whole.

Chapter Text

Luka led the small boy down the hallway to the stage, the small boy clutching a worn out cat plushie, unmoving, unlike the rest of the plushies in Sekai. Despite being worn out, even Usa moved, but ever since it had appeared in Sekai, this worn out yellow cat hadn’t moved at all, so the small boy kept hold of it, never wanting it repaired no matter how many times Luka had asked. She’d eventually dropped the subject. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that Rui had, in fact, left, leading the small, blond haired boy onto the stage, over to KAITO.

KAITO looked up when he heard the footsteps, setting the papers he was holding down when he saw who it was. “Did another star die?”

“Yes.” Luka replied. “I brought him out after that so he won’t be affected by the star dying running its course in his room.” She shuddered. “His room’s gotten so dark… And yet, he doesn’t want to leave…”

“We’ll work on it eventually. Besides, him leaving permanently or at least regaining his light relies on Tsukasa facing his problems.”

The small boy perked up at the name, clutching his cat plushie tighter. “Big… me…?”

KAITO nodded. “Yes, big you, ‘Kasa. Remember, you saw him once?”

The small boy thought back on things, trying to remember when he’d seen Tsukasa. “The… ….st show?”

“The first show?” KAITO asked. Once he got a nod, he continued. “Yes, that’s right. The show when the troupe finally fully formed.”

“KAITO-nii…?”

KAITO maneuvered the small boy to sit on his lap, hiding his frown. “Yes?”

“Tired… Time… running out…” The small boy whispered, hiding his face in the cat plushie, snuggling against KAITO.

KAITO sighed, gently carding his fingers through the small boy’s hair. “I know ‘Kasa… I know…” He went quiet for a moment, the only sound being Luka sitting down beside KAITO. “If big you wants his goodnight, you’ll be the first to know. I promise, ‘Kasa. When he wants his goodnight, you can rest right alongside him.”

The small boy nodded, going limp against KAITO. He stared off into nothing, letting himself retreat from his mind. KAITO-nii would get his attention if he was needed.

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KAITO stared at the small boy, the boy completely unmoving in his lap, eyes unfocused. This happened often enough he wasn’t worried about it, so he turned his attention to Luka.

Luka had her lips pursed, looking like she wanted to say something. Finally, she did. “Is giving Tsukasa and ‘Kasa their goodnight really all we can do…?” She frowned, wide awake in the face of the small boy. She never slept when she was around him since he was never happy. “What will the twins say?”

“The twins will understand if we explain it to them carefully enough.” KAITO replied. “How many stars are left glowing in ‘Kasa’s room?”

“Ten stars.” Luka replied solemnly. “The tenth one only relit after Rui and Tsukasa made up after their fight. I can’t even see anything in there anymore except for what’s right in front of me… It’s worrying.”

“So… despite having the troupe, Tsukasa is still unwilling to share his problems with them…” KAITO mused. “I get it, I really do understand. He’s an older brother and doesn’t want to bother anyone. But he has to seek help one day.”

“He won’t do it until he’s ready.” Luka sighed. “And he may be ready for the goodnight before he’s ready to seek help.” She carefully adjusted her hair, sitting down. “To think… Tsukasa and ‘Kasa are so close to a goodnight… It makes me wonder what Emu and the others will do.”

“What they do in reaction could be the key to saving Tsukasa and ‘Kasa, but all we can do is wait and see for now.” KAITO replied, checking to see if the small boy had come back to awareness, continuing to card his fingers through the younger’s hair when he saw he hadn’t. “‘Kasa’s been like this more and more recently…”

“He’s tired.” Luka replied. “All of us older ones are. The twins haven’t seen what we’ve seen. That’s the only reason why they’re still going strong.”

“Hmm… I suppose you have a point.” KAITO admitted. “Perhaps that’s why I can’t feel things sometimes.”

“Perhaps. Even I find sleep in the face of happiness better than facing that happiness and worrying about whether or not it will disappear. It’s easier if I’m awake when I’m needed. Then I’m only used to the feelings that occur when I’m needed, and I don’t have to see that happiness ripped away from anyone.” Luka admitted. “But still… I doubt our other variants will take this well. The primes might, but I doubt the others will.”

“It’s their choice how they take it.” KAITO replied bitterly. “But I have a feeling that if their Sekai Creator wanted a goodnight, and there was no other option left, they’d give it to them, just like we will if Tsukasa decides that’s what he wants for himself and ‘Kasa.”

“Hmm… You’re right. They can’t judge us when they would do the same if they had no other choice.” Luka replied. “Do you think I should try to get ‘Kasa to snap out of it? I don’t know what’s going on with Tsukasa, but it’s better if ‘Kasa isn’t fully focusing on it. It will only make him more tired.”

“Go ahead.” KAITO replied. “Hopefully, keeping ‘Kasa as content as possible will prevent further issues, and maybe one day the cat plushie he always carries around will wake up as well.”

Luka nodded, gently shaking the small boy. “‘Kasa, sweetie? Can you hear me?”

The small boy grumbled, but did look at Luka. 

“There you are…” Luka commented once she saw his gaze. “Do you want a nap, ‘Kasa?”

“Tired…” The small boy replied, clumsily rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “L…..ly…”

Luka frowned. “I know… I know… It’ll get better one day. For now, do you want to sleep in my room?”

The small boy thought about it before nodding, making grabby hands. “Wanna…. Luka-nii…”

Luka picked the small boy up, carefully adjusting his position before standing up. “I know… My, you really are tired. Let’s get you to bed.”

KAITO could only watch as Luka walked off with the small boy, the small boy dozing in Luka’s arms. This is the worst I’ve seen ‘Kasa in a while… What could’ve happened to Tsukasa for ‘Kasa to get like this…?

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“KAITO! You missed the light cue!”

KAITO jolted out of his thoughts. Stage Sekai wasn’t as vibrant as Wonderland Sekai, but he still couldn’t help but be worried about the feelings he was getting from his counterpart. 

“KAITO? Is everything alright?” Ah, that was Miku.

“Ahahah, sorry.” KAITO apologetically chuckled. “I just got lost in thought.”

“Is it because of our counterparts?” Miku asked. “It… It feels like a Sekai Creator will get a goodnight soon.”

KAITO frowned, “It is. I can feel in their emotions that their Sekai Creator is extremely close to asking for a goodnight. It’s made more complicated by the manifestation of his feelings as a child.”

“The manifestation is tired, isn’t it?” Miku asked.

KAITO nodded. “It is… It wants nothing more than for its older self to ask for the goodnight or be saved.”

Miku frowned, looking down. “What can we do? Can we get in contact with our primes?”

“I don’t think we should interfere this time.” KAITO replied. “I think interfering may make it worse.”

“Make what worse?”

KAITO and Miku both jumped, whirling around to see who it was.

“MEIKO! You startled us!” Miku exclaimed once she registered that it was MEIKO.

“Sorry.” MEIKO replied. “But, you looked like you were having a pretty serious conversation, and KAITO missed his light cue. Is everything alright?”

“Actually, things may not be.” Miku replied. “KAITO and I can feel in our counterparts that a Sekai Creator is close to asking for their goodnight.”

“A Sekai Creator is close to asking for their goodnight?!” MEIKO exclaimed, shocked. “Do we know if it’s anyone close to the girls?”

“It’s coming from our Wonderland counterparts.” KAITO explained. “I’m not sure who the Sekai Creator is, but I know Shizuku’s close to one of the people in WxS.”

MEIKO frowned. “Can we get ahold of our primes?”

“I don’t think interfering is a good idea.” KAITO replied. “As much as I wish we could have our primes intervene, intervening may do more harm than good. I have a feeling this is because of unwanted interventions. Another one could push the Sekai Creator over the edge.”

Miku and MEIKO frowned, taking in the information.

“So, what do we do?” MEIKO asked.

“We definitely can’t let Len find out.” Miku replied. “Rin’s been here since the start, even though she’s as young as Len, so she’s fine because she understands everything. But Len doesn’t understand, so we should try to make sure his focus stays on the girls.”

“I have to agree with Miku.” KAITO commented. “One of us will need to tell Rin and Luka, and we’ll also have to keep an eye on Sekai to make sure it doesn’t destabilize if the Sekai Creator does happen to be the one Shizuku’s friends with.”

“Right.” MEIKO replied. “We should wait until Rin and Len are done practicing for their duo show though, that way we don’t arouse Len’s suspicion.”

“Good idea.” KAITO replied. “Well, in that case, we should get back to practicing ourselves.”

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Luka found herself wandering through School Sekai’s hallways, trying to find KAITO again. He may have been there for a while at this point, but she didn’t fault him for retreating when everything became too much for the guy’s personality to handle. However… Now’s an inconvenient time for you to disappear, KAITO… We have a Sekai Creator who could ask for a goodnight any day now and you choose now of all times to disappear. Unless… Luka stopped in her tracks, frowning. Could he have retreated because of the feelings resonating from our Wonderland counterparts? If that’s the case, I need to find him, and quickly. I don’t want him to be overwhelmed all by himself. 

Luka picked up her pace, searching through each empty classroom as quickly as she could. Eventually, she found what she was looking for, spotting a blue head of hair in an empty classroom close to the roof. Closer inspection showed KAITO had grabbed a simple, American style lunch in the form of a ham and cheese sandwich and a carton of milk. She gently knocked on the door before sliding it open, making her presence known. “KAITO, do you have a minute?”

KAITO looked up from his sandwich, putting it down. “Um, sure. What’s up?” He took a sip of his milk, then turned in his chair to properly face Luka.

Luka walked into the classroom, taking the chair from the desk beside KAITO and turning it so it would face him, then sat down. “I just wanted to check on you since you haven’t come back to the main area in a while.”

“Ah…” KAITO replied, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “It’s just… I can sense what our Wonderland counterparts are feeling now that their Sekai Creator is close to asking for a goodnight. It’s making me nervous.”

Luka gave a worried frown, messing with her hair. “It’s making me nervous too. This could potentially affect the girls. Then what would happen to this Sekai? MEIKO already said we can’t contact the primes, because who knows how much worse outside interference would make things. Especially for the manifestation.”

“The manifestation?” KAITO asked, confused.

“Ah, right, you weren’t here when that formed. Basically, Wonderland Sekai has a manifestation of the Sekai Creator’s worst time in his life. Having that manifestation makes issues with that Sekai a little more tricky to deal with, hence why it’s not a good idea to get the primes involved.”

“I see…” KAITO mused. “I’ve never heard of a living manifestation of feelings though. Only fragments.”

“It is unusual,” Luka replied, “But Wonderland Sekai was created by one person instead of four. It makes sense that things won’t follow the rules there exactly the same as they do everywhere else.”

“It was created by just one person?” KAITO asked, surprised. “Usually Sekais are only created by four people.”

“It’s definitely a surprise.” Luka admitted, pushing some of her hair out of her face. “But it happened, so now we just have to take things as they come and be there for the girls.”

KAITO rubbed the back of his neck, seeming and looking uncomfortable at the revelation he was just presented with. 

Luka noticed, sighing. “Look, I’m not asking you to face it immediately, KAITO, but when push comes to shove, the girls need you, and the twins adore you. I understand you want to hide, but you can’t hide forever, alright?” She stood up, putting the chair she’d been using back in place. “I’ll let you enjoy your lunch.”

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“He’s been staring off into space like that for a while now…”

“Is he trying to think of ideas for his next mix?”

“I don’t think so. His eyes are unfocused. I don’t think he’s really seeing what’s in front of him.”

“What do you think got him upset like this? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this bad.”

“I’m not sure. Here, how about you carry this over for me?”

“A cafe au latte and pancakes?”

“His comfort meal. Hopefully it’ll help him calm down and regulate himself enough to explain what’s going on.”

“Ah, I get it now.”

A goodnight… How often have I heard that term…? Akito and Toya have come close to asking for a goodnight several times… and An’s been close once… I want nothing more than to join the boys if they choose to ask for a goodnight… It’s… hard being the only one who doesn’t understand the others as easily… It’s hard being the one who doesn’t improve as quickly… I’m… I’m tired… I don’t even know why I am the way I am… I don’t know why I always need my headphones on hand, why I don’t get social cues, why I always get lost, why I always get in trouble for being late to DJing lessons or getting ice cream out of the freezer if it doesn’t have my name on it. I don’t understand why some days my clothes itch so much I can barely get through the day in them… I don’t understand why my necklace feels unbearable some days, why some days I can’t mix a single successful track… I hate it…

“KAITO…?”

KAITO jolted so violently he almost fell out of his chair, biting back a swear when he hit his knee on the table.

“Woah, KAITO, are you alright?!” Len knelt beside KAITO, wide, concerned eyes looking the older over, shocked at KAITO’s violent reaction.

KAITO took a moment to catch his breath, first taking notice of the pancakes and cafe au latte on the table in front of him, then taking notice of who was beside the table. “Miku? MEIKO? Len? Did you need something?”

“You’ve been staring into space for a long time.” Len explained, standing up. “Is everything alright?”

KAITO sighed, closing his laptop and setting it to the side, glad his headphones were wireless. “I’m not sure how to explain it.” He admitted, taking a bite of his pancakes, humming appreciatively at the taste.

“Does it have anything to do with the kids?” MEIKO asked, worried frowns on her and Miku’s faces.

“Potentially.” KAITO replied.

“Potentially?” Miku asked, eyebrow raised. “What do you mean potentially?”

KAITO frowned, taking a sip of his drink. “I can sense one of my counterparts is troubled.” He admitted.

“One of your counterparts?” Len asked. “It’s not Empty KAITO, is it?”

KAITO shook his head. “It’s not him. I only sense the usual burning rage that’s within him. No, this is coming from Wonderland.”

“Wonderland?!” The three exclaimed, surprised.

MEIKO regained her composure the quickest, asking the next question, gaze hardening. “What do you sense?”

“It’s not good.” KAITO replied, his eyes gaining a semi distant look as he spoke. “You know how Akito, Toya, and An have all come close to asking for a goodnight before…?

Miku’s eyes widened as she connected the dots. “Don’t tell me…”

“Wonderland’s Sekai Creator is close to asking for a goodnight, and the manifestation is waiting on that to happen.” KAITO explained, eating as he talked. “I can feel it. Wonderland KAITO is having more bad days, the manifestation is only growing more numb, more tired, and I can feel something screaming for release. Can’t you feel it too?”

“I don’t think my counterpart is aware.” Len replied. “Most of the others agree that we shouldn’t get the primes involved since interfering could go bad in so many ways, but my Wonderland counterpart seems to be kept in the dark.”

“Well, he is only fourteen, and unlike you, he wasn’t one of the first.” MEIKO reminded the younger. “My counterpart is aware though.”

“So’s mine.” Miku replied. “This could have a serious effect on the kids if it’s anyone they know, and they do ask for that goodnight.”

“So what do we do?” Len asked.

“Let’s keep an eye on the kids for now.” MEIKO commented. “That way, if the Sekai Creator does ask for their goodnight, we can know immediately if one of the kids is affected.”

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“Tch.”

“KAITO…”

KAITO turned, finding himself face to face with grey twintails that faded to a darker teal and a dull yet concerned heterochromatic gaze. “Miku, what do you want?” He snapped, tone short and angry.

“Can you feel it…?” Miku asked, messing with the keys on her dress in an attempt to occupy her hands and not have to have her dress sewn again, or the ribbons in her hair redone, since she didn’t know how to do them herself.

KAITO grumbled. He hadn’t wanted to be bothered in the first place, going to a far corner of Sekai for that very reason, and yet Miku had come and bothered him anyway. “Is that all you came here for?”

Miku flinched, surprised. “KAITO…?” 

“Leave.” KAITO coldly replied. “I have no time for this nonsense. They are the idiotic ones, and they are the ones who will suffer.”

“But…” Miku said softly. “Mafuyu… Ena… Mizuki… Kanade…”

“I couldn’t give a damn if they’re connected to that Sekai Creator.” KAITO spat, glaring at Miku, fists clenched. “The other three should never have gotten involved anyway.”

“K-KAITO…!” Miku’s eyes were wide, the girl clearly unsure what to do. She’d never seen KAITO’s rage react like this before, and if she were to be honest, it scared her.

“I said leave.” KAITO repeated. “Go play with the twins, if you really must, but leave me out of it.”

Miku opened her mouth to say more, but decided she didn’t want to be yelled at further, closing her mouth just as quickly and meekly walking away.

KAITO watched Miku go, smirking in bitter satisfaction as he directed some of his rage through the connection the KAITO counterparts had to Wonderland KAITO, a sick sense of delight filling him when he felt the other practically scream in agony at the rage he didn’t know how to handle before fleeing from the connection from the time being. “Tch. Weakling. Can’t even handle a little bit of rage.” KAITO began walking, hearing his footsteps resonate through Empty Sekai. “If they can’t handle a small part of themselves, there’s no way they can handle this.” Fools. The lot of them. My purpose is clear. Force Mafuyu to confront her situation, not coddle her or worry about other Sekais. I don’t have time for idiotic vocaloids worried about their Sekai counterparts. This fire in me… It’s never ending. All of this pent up rage that Mafuyu refuses to acknowledge. Hmph. I won’t let myself disappear. Not like this. I’ll scream, and scream, and scream, and destroy whatever I have to to make sure I’m heard. That’s a vow I fully intend to fulfill.

I want to die, I want to disappear, I don’t wanna go any further

I won’t have any hopes in a life like this

Therefore, I dream of nightmares

The world bloomed inside my blocked past

Chapter Text

“Hohoho! It is I, Santa Clause!”

“Cut!”

Tsukasa, Emu, and Nene paused, turning to face Rui, who was sitting in the audience seats, directing the other three.

“Tsukasa-kun, you sound too much like yourself!” Rui commented once he saw he had everyone’s attention. “I know Santa’s supposed to be a secret agent, but you need to keep the classic jolly Santa Claus everyone already knows.”

“Ah, sorry Rui!” Tsukasa apologized, hopping off the stage to grab his script, writing down Rui’s comments for the scene they were on in the margins. The Christmas show was only a week away, after all, so they were down to final corrections, but Tsukasa was still struggling a bit with toning down his energy to not make Santa seem too energetic.

“It’s alright. I think now’s a good stopping point. We have been practicing for a few hours by now.”

Ah, Tsukasa thought, that’s right. We’ve already been at this since morning, and aside from our lunch break, we’ve only had small water breaks. Perhaps Rui’s right. “Alright then! Can we resume with this scene tomorrow?”

“I don’t see why not.” Rui replied. “It’s a good spot to start, since we still have some kinks to iron out.” He picked up his director’s notebook, making a note on today’s progress as well as where they would start the next day. He closed the notebook, shoving it in his bag before closing his bag, standing up. “Right then. Let’s clean up, and then we can head for the diner.”

“Yeah!” Emu cheered, already beginning to clean up. “I heard they got new Christmas themed parfaits in! I wanna try one!”

“If that’s the case, let’s get this finished already!” Tsukasa enthusiastically replied, joining Emu in putting things backstage.

Rui and Nene also joined in, the group making quick work of putting everything away before they gathered up their bags, making their way out of the park and beginning their walk to their usual cafe.

“Tsukasa-kun, what’s your favorite part of being Santa?” Emu asked. 

“My favorite part of being Santa?” Tsukasa asked. “Hmm… Well, I certainly like the spin we’re doing based on that American movie. It certainly makes things interesting, hahaha!”

“It really does! Rui-kun, how long did it take you to translate everything for the subtitles anyway?” Emu asked, turning to Rui.

“It only took me a couple of days.” Rui replied. “Miss Javi helped with the words we’re still learning in class, but otherwise, I was able to do it on my own.”

“All by yourself?” Nene asked. She sighed, speaking again. “You surprise me more every day, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.”

Rui gave a cat-like smirk. “Are you sure you want to find out?”

“Rui! Stop tormenting Nene!” Tsukasa exclaimed, noticing what Rui was doing.

“Oh, you don’t trust me? I thought my dear star trusted me… yo yo yo.” Rui even added the crocodile tears for good effect.

“Rui! You know those won’t work on me!” Tsukasa complained. “We’re almost to the cafe as it stands!”

“Alright, alright. I’ll behave, for now.” Rui replied, straightening up.

The group entered the cafe, quickly finding their usual table and after they were given their menus, they opened them, looking to see what they wanted. 

“Hmm… Oh, the parfait’s peppermint!” Emu exclaimed when she spotted it on the menu.

“Peppermint?” Tsukasa asked. “No thanks. Hmm… should I get the red velvet cake, or should I try the blackberry parfait…? So many options…” He quickly became lost in thought, trying to decide what he wanted to order.

“This oolong tea and mochi combination looks good.” Nene admitted. “I think I’ll get that.”

“Hey, Tsukasa-kun, do you want to split these pancakes with me?” Rui asked, pointing to a stack of double chocolate pancakes on the menu. “There’s six, so we can each have three.”

“Ah, good idea, Rui!” Tsukasa replied. “I’d be more than happy to! In that case, I think I’ll get an iced caramel latte for my drink. What about you?”

“Hmm… I think I’ll get grape soda.” Rui replied. He waved the waitress over, handing over the menus. “We’ll take a peppermint parfait, an oolong tea and mochi meal, a stack of double chocolate pancakes, an iced caramel latte, a grape soda, and… Emu?”

“I’ll take a strawberry banana smoothie!” Emu replied.

“Alright then. Please wait, and we’ll have that out for you momentarily.” The waitress replied. 

“Ah, for the stack of pancakes, can we have two plates and sets of utensils?” Rui asked. “My friend here has decided to split it with me.”

“Of course.” The waitress replied with a small bow of her head. “Please, relax and enjoy yourselves until your meals arrive.” She scurried off after putting her notepad in her apron, and the group was left alone once more.

“So, the play is in a week. What scenes do we still need to iron out?” Tsukasa asked. 

Rui opened his bag, pulling out his director’s notebook and flipped through it to the notes he’d made over the course of that day’s practice. “Let’s see… Tsukasa-kun, you need to work on scenes 2, 10, 15, 20, and 34. Emu-kun, you need to work on scenes 3, 5, and 22. Nene-chan, you just need to work on scene 22. I myself need to work on scenes 15, 23, and 30. I also need to do some last minute fine tuning to the reindeer bots to make sure they run as smoothly as possible. Nene-chan, I’ll have to borrow Robo-Nene for a quick maintenance check to make sure she’s in top form for the show as well.”

“That’s fine.” Nene replied. “I’ll send her over later.”

The conversation was cut short momentarily by the waitress returning, handing out the food and drinks, the stack of pancakes already pre split onto two different plates, the waitress bowing before leaving, and the group giving a quick “itadakimasu” before digging into their meals.

“We’ll have to do a last minute safety check on the wires as well before our morning show.” Tsukasa reminded the group. “I know they’re heavy duty in order to be able to support the reindeer, but I’d rather not have them or me fall!”

“Don’t worry, Tsukasa-kun.” Rui replied. “I’ll make sure to do it when the time comes.”

Emu took a big bite of her parfait, surprising the group when she didn’t get brain freeze. “Mm! This is yummy~! Nene-chan, do you want some?”

Nene considered things for a moment. “Sure, I’ll try a bite.”

“Yay!” Emu cheered. “Rui-kun?”

“Sure, I’ll have some as well.” Rui replied. “Tsukasa-kun?”

Tsukasa shuddered. “No thanks. You three can keep it.”

“How come you don’t like peppermint anyway?” Nene asked. “I’ve never heard of someone who doesn’t like it.”

Tsukasa grimaced at the memory. “My parents always had a peppermint bowl out during Christmas. The rule was that Saki and I could only have one piece from it a day, but we had to ask, and we had to have been good that day, or no candy. Well, one Christmas, when Saki was in the hospital, mom told me I could have some from the bowl for being so patient in waiting for her and dad to come back. I was only nine or so at the time I think, so I accidentally took too many. I ended up with a stomach ache for a couple of days, and I’ve never touched some since. Mom did scold me a little when she found out what I’d done, but she was more glad that I was alright after that and had only gotten a stomach ache from too much candy.”

Rui, Nene, and Emu all winced in sympathy.

“My father gave me that limit too as a kid.” Emu replied. “Even now my brothers don’t let me have too much candy at once with how much energy I have.”

“Fufu. It seems our parents gave all of us that limit as children.” Rui commented. “Although, Tsukasa-kun, I do feel bad for you. Finding out the consequences of too much candy that young… I’m surprised it didn’t ruin candy for you forever.”

“Well, it certainly ruined peppermint at least.” Tsukasa replied with a laugh. “But mom explained to me that as long as I followed the limit and listened to my body as I grew up, I wouldn’t have that issue again. I listened, and it seemed like she was right, because I’ve never gotten a stomach ache from candy again.”

“She was right, after all.” Nene commented. “Anyway, what are the plans for Christmas day itself?”

“My family’s having dinner that day.” Tsukasa replied.

“My family’s having lunch since my parents have a plane out that evening.” Rui replied. “They said I was free to do whatever I want for dinner within reason.”

“My family’s also doing lunch.” Nene replied. “My mom has a short trip out to Australia.”

“Australia?” Tsukasa asked. “Why?”

“One of my aunts emigrated to Australia when I was little.” Nene replied. “But we found out she was sick a few months ago.”

“Sick?”

Nene sighed, frowning. “Mom’s going to be discussing end of life care with the doctors as the eldest sister since my grandparents are too old to travel that far anymore.”

“E-End of life care?” Rui asked, shocked. “Nene-chan, what happened?”

Nene teared up, digging her handkerchief out of her pocket and trying to wipe away her tears. “My aunt was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer…” She admitted. “The chemotherapy was working until recently, which is why I never said anything, but last month, it stopped working. The doctors said she only has a couple of months left… Mom promised to take me with her to Australia when she visits in January.”

“Nene-chan…” Emu had a worried frown on her face, turning to hug Nene. “We’ll be here for you every step of the way.”

Tsukasa pushed his finished plate to the side, waiting for Rui to stand up before he exited his side of the booth as well, he and Rui squeezing in with Emu and Nene to join the hug. The troupe stayed that way for a few moments before Nene pulled away, wiping her eyes with her handkerchief. “Thanks, everyone.”

Tsukasa and Rui returned to their side of the booth, Rui getting back to his pancakes, while Tsukasa went back to sipping his iced caramel latte.

“Oh, I know!” Emu exclaimed. “Nene-chan, Rui-kun, what if I talk to everyone about you two coming over for dinner that day?”

“Are you sure…?” Nene asked. “Won’t we be imposing?”

“Nonsense! Hinata-nii adores you, and I’m sure I can convince Shosuke-nii, Keisuke-nii, and father to allow me to have you over for dinner!”

“Fufu, I gladly accept your invitation.” Rui replied.

Nene sighed. “Alright, alright. I’ll go as well.”

“Yay! I’ll ask my brothers tonight!” Emu promised. “Oh, we should get matching sweaters!”

“Matching… sweaters?” Tsukasa asked.

“Yeah! We can get themed ugly Christmas sweaters!” Emu cheered. “This’ll be so much fun!”

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This is the opposite of fun… Tsukasa thought. He was sat down on his couch, trying to tune out the lecture he was receiving about his notes still not being good enough for what was expected of him for physics. He only tuned back in when he heard two dreaded words. “What?! Cram school?!”

I’m ready to go

I know

You’re craving for a brand new low

I’m ready to go

To halt my growth

And put on a show

Chapter Text

“B-But, my notes have improved a bit!” Tsukasa protested.

Katsuo sighed. “You’ve only gotten your physics grade up to 72%. That’s not enough. So, we’ll be enrolling you in cram school for all of your subjects, since most of them could use some improvement. You’ll have contemporary literature, Japanese classics, and kambun on Mondays and Wednesdays, all covered in the same three hour class, social studies and moral studies on Tuesdays, mathematics on Thursdays, physics and English on Fridays, art on Saturdays, and music on Sundays. You’ll be expected to keep up your cram school attendance on top of your regular school attendance and your grades. Do you understand?”

“But, dad-”

“Enough.” Marina’s voice was firm, and it shocked Tsukasa into pausing before he could finish his protest. “Do not argue with your father. Tsukasa, honey, we love you, but your grades are unacceptable, so starting next week, you’ll be attending cram school full time. You’ll just have to tell your troupe that you’ll have to cut back on your working hours. However, if we feel your grades aren’t improving enough with your reduced hours, you’ll have to quit your job and switch to being given a small allowance each month instead. Do you understand?”

Tsukasa frowned, lowering his head. 

“Tsukasa, your mother asked you a question.” Katsuo said, voice firm.

Tsukasa raised his head, gaze and voice both blank. “I understand. I’ll let the rest of the troupe know at practice tomorrow. If you’ll excuse me, I need to do my homework.” He stood up, grabbing his backpack and making his way to his room, shutting the door behind him. He sat at his desk, setting his bag down beside his chair, but his hands didn’t feel like his own. He opened his physics textbook without seeing, did the problems without feeling, read without registering. The numbness kept him safe, he thought, now that he was losing his safe place. He’d have less time for Sekai now too. He’d have to remember that.

He’d have to remember a lot of things, actually, so he pulled out his planner and the slip of paper with his cram school schedule on it, carefully writing down the new classes and locations in his planner. Hm… Each day ends at 7, and we usually stop practice at 9, 7 if we have a night show, so this will leave me only an hour and a half for practice since it takes me half an hour to get to the park. I’ll have to increase my individual practice time after practice ends, but I also have to focus on my homework. Perhaps I can start staying up later to compensate. 

Tsukasa put his planner away, shoving the paper with his schedule into his desk drawer with a mental note to go pick up the textbooks he’d need for cram school on the way to practice the next day. It was a good thing the next day was a Sunday, he mused, since he’d need to leave around two hours early in order to have time to pick everything up. I have to continue my homework. Now, where was I…?

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Tsukasa couldn’t bring himself to care when they were informed two days after their Christmas show that their next ambassadorial performance would be their last. He was tired, both physically and mentally, the intense schedule taking a toll on him, though he’d hid things from his friends so far. He had explained he’d had to start cram school, but he’d hidden how it was affecting him. Stopping the ambassadorial shows made sense. They’d done their purpose, and now guests wanted them back home, which would benefit the park as well. He couldn’t bring himself to care, however, not even when he heard the show would be with ArcLand. He played along with everyone so they wouldn’t see through his mask, but he still didn’t feel anything.

He couldn’t bring himself to care either when the Otori brothers left, and the troupe decided to go to Sekai to tell the vocaloids about what had transpired. However, he knew he’d arouse suspicion if he didn’t seem like his usual self, so he put his mask back up once more, playing along with the conversation.

“We’re here!” Emu cheered. “Where do you think Miku and the others are?”

“If they’re not here, then they’re probably at KAITO’s tent, right?” Nene asked.

“Then let’s go, go, go!” Emu replied. “I really, really wanna tell them about our next show!”

Realizing he likely wouldn’t be needed, Tsukasa tuned out the rest of the conversation. He vaguely registered the argument between Miku and the bird plushie, and even more vaguely registered the discussion with KAITO and the others about what their next show would be. He only snapped out of it when the troupe left Wonderland Sekai and arrived back at the Wonder Stage, the sun beginning to set in the sky. “Hmm… As glad as I am that we got to tell them about our next show, it was a bit weird to see them in that predicament.” Predicament…? Ah, right, Miku and Birdie were arguing.

“Yes, it was…” Rui mused, a serious expression on his face. “Shows can involve a large number of people all fixated on different goals which can lead to some… unpleasant situations.”

“Yeah…” Nene replied with a nod. “We’ll have to keep that in mind for our show.”

“Us too?” Emu asked, confused. “Why?”

“Because we’re gonna be performing with a new set of people.” Nene explained. “There’ll likely be some growing pains we’ll have to get through.”

The conversation dissolved into making plans to figure out how to introduce themselves to the ArcLand cast and build some rapport, the troupe eventually deciding on inviting the cast out to their usual diner after their first practice. Decision made, Tsukasa set off for home, letting his mask drop as soon as he was alone. The emptiness in his chest didn’t bother him at this point, but it was still just that, empty, and so, he didn’t care to even try to school his expression into anything, instead just letting the emptiness consume him.

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Tsukasa arrived at practice on Tuesday, noticing the ArcLand cast had already arrived, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, even when Asahi gasped. 

“Oh… It’s… It’s Miles! Look, he’s literally right in front of us!” Asahi exclaimed, an excited sheen to his eyes.

“Miles…?” Tsukasa replied quietly, a faint hint of confusion shining through. “O-Oh, from the night show…”

“W-Would it be okay if we shook hands?!” Asahi asked, practically vibrating from excitement.

Tsukasa didn’t see what there was to be excited about, even as the others broke into bickering before Asahi gasped, turning back to Tsukasa.

“Ah, I’m sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Asahi Genbu. I’ve already been introduced to the rest of your troupe, but I’m beyond ecstatic about being given this opportunity to put on a show with all of you!”

“Tsukasa Tenma.” Tsukasa replied. “I look forward to working with you as well.” He couldn’t bring himself to, but Asahi didn’t need to know that. Instead, he turned to the rest of the group. “Have you come up with any show ideas?”

“What if we did something futuristic?” Emu suggested.

“Futuristic?” Tsukasa asked. “That’s pretty vague…”

“I think she has the right idea.” Nene replied. “Besides, we always try to match the theme of our shows to the venues we perform at anyway.”

“As usual, it’s best we make the most out of where we’ll be.” Rui commented. “I’m sure the audience will also appreciate how the show goes with the museum’s theme and see it as a special experience.”

“I know I saw this in action earlier,” Asahi began, “but it’s still amazing seeing how you guys come up with ideas for shows.”

“We generally try to fully utilize the stage or venue for our performances.” Rui explained. “Besides that…” He trailed off, missing the concerned glances from some of the ArcLand members. I want to make full use of the talent ArcLand has given us. Especially Genbu-san, since he’s multi-talented. He has a knack for quickly getting into character for whatever role he’s assigned. Some even call him a genius for being able to do that… Not only that, but we all stand to learn quite a bit from seeing him perform. Ideally, we’ll be able to maximize what we get out of this experience. For Tsukasa and Nene’s sake, since they both want to see the world, and since Tsukasa has seemed a little off recently, what if we did… 

“I suggest that we do ‘The Two Androids.’” Rui commented, snapping out of his thoughts.

“The Two Androids?” Tsukasa asked. He listened to the explanation of the story, despite not being interested. He could tell it would stick work though, so he decided it would be okay to use. 

“Ah, if it’s alright, can you call me Asahi?” That sentence snapped Tsukasa out of his thoughts, and he tuned back into the conversation. “I’d like to call you all by your first names as well.”

“Very well. Now then, Asahi-san, Tsukasa-kun, I’d like you two to play the androids.” Rui replied, officially beginning their half brainstorming half question and answer session to figure out the remaining roles. 

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They’d all agreed to go to the diner the troupe frequented after the session ended, Tsukasa texting his mom to explain where he’d be before they left for the diner. They waited to be seated before they arrived, and once Tsukasa sat down, he leaned his head against Rui’s shoulder, letting himself zone out.

Rui noticed Tsukasa’s distant gaze, sighing. “He’s zoned out again…”

“Rui-kun?”

Rui jolted, turning his attention to Asahi. “Yes?”

Asahi shot a pointed look at Tsukasa. “Is he alright?”

“I’m not sure.” Rui admitted. “He’s been zoning in and out the past couple of days, but he hasn’t given any indication of what could be wrong.”

“He hasn’t burnt himself out, has he?” One of the ArcLand cast members asked, Hiyame Ringo, if Rui remembered correctly.

“I’m unsure. He recently started cram school, so it is possible. I’ll have to keep an eye on him over the next few days to see if I can pinpoint what’s going on. I don’t want something to happen to him because no one was looking.”

“Tsukasa-kun’s seemed womp womp for the past week.” Emu admitted. “He seemed like that when he told us he had to start cram school, and it hasn’t stopped ever since.”

“Womp womp?” Asahi asked. “That’s… not good.”

“Oh great… Now there’s two of you…” Nene grumbled, but it was good naturedly, so no one took it to heart.

“Still, it is rather concerning.” Rui replied, nudging Tsukasa.

Tsukasa jolted, looking up. “Rui…?”

“I just figured I’d get your attention so you could pick out what you wanted.” Rui told the blonde. “We don’t have long until the waitress arrives, after all.”

“Ah, right.” Tsukasa replied. He picked up the menu, but didn’t move from his spot. “Hmm… I think I’ll get the burger, fries, and sweet tea.” He set the menu down again, deciding to at least make an effort to try and focus. “So, when will we do the table read?”

“Everyone’s available tomorrow, yes?” Rui asked.

“Ah, sorry, Rui-kun, but I won’t be.” Hiyame commented, pointing to her glasses. “I have to get my new pair of glasses and contacts tomorrow.”

“That’s alright.” Rui replied. “We’ll have our next practice on Tuesday then. For now, everyone can read through the script at their own pace tomorrow.”

“Alright then! That sounds like a plan to me!” The second ArcLand member, Rui Taiyo, Girl Rui in Rui’s mind, replied.

The food arrived, cutting the conversation off, but only briefly. The chatter resumed once the waitress left, stories and laughter filling the air. Except from one person. Tsukasa was eating, yes, but he did so mechanically, already having zoned out again. He didn’t care what the others thought of him at the moment. He was just… tired.

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“Please… let me ask him…”

“Hang on a bit longer, alright? The stars haven’t completely died, so please.”

“Okay…”

Without your voice to break the silence

I’m the war, I am the violence

Just the noise of police sirens

Calling forth from the horizon

Oh, without anyone, anyone at all

To stand and fight

Without comparison, how can I recall

What’s wrong and right?

Chapter Text

The table read had gone well in Asahi’s opinion, but he found himself surprised when Rui suggested a raid for the opening scene. “An actual raid?”

“What do you mean by that?” Girl Rui asked.

“Hehe. Maybe that wasn’t the best way to actually put it.” Rui sheepishly chuckled. “My goal is to use the raid in the beginning to raise the excitement level of the audience for the show. That’s why I’d like it to be as realistic as possible.”

“I see…” Tsukasa mused, seeming the most normal he had in several days. “How do we go about doing that?”

“We’ll be performing in the plaza in front of the museum, no? I noticed several lamp posts line the area. We can use those to signal the start of the attack. I was thinking the commander will stand on top of them as they give the order.”

“O-On top of them?” Hiyame asked, surprised.

Rui nodded, explaining that he’d already gotten permission from the museum, the lamp posts were wide enough to stand on at the top, but they were five meters high, so they’d need safety measures in case of any falls. To his surprise, the ArcLand troupe members agreed to test it out, and so, he watched as preparations were made and Hiyame climbed a nearby gate. When Asahi and Hiyame came back, they were both beaming. 

“It’s a little dangerous,” Asahi began, “but I do agree that orders sound more compelling when literally given from on high!”

“But we’ll be in full view of the audience as we climb.” Hiyame reminded the group. “We didn’t exactly look cool while we did, so we should think of a way to cover for that.”

“We need to look cool while dropping down as well, so what if we borrow those poles we used during that one show and use them for this scene?”

“Okay, then let’s ask to see if we can borrow them from the theater!” A third ArcLand cast member, Nensho Kasai, exclaimed.

Practice began in earnest a few minutes later, and Tsukasa found himself able to show emotion for the time being, until he messed up his role, that is, grimacing and apologizing at the reminder that he needed to sound less emotional due to being an android. He lost all feeling then, resorting to his mask for the rest of practice.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tsukasa found himself at the diner from last practice, toasting the union between ArcLand’s cast and Wonderlands x Showtime since everyone wanted to do it for some reason, the group dissolving into giggles and taking a few minutes to settle down. 

“Oh, Rui, there’s actually something I’ve been meaning to ask you…” Asahi commented. “Is it just me, or is your directing style heavily influenced by Tom Gray?”

“What…?” Rui blinked in surprise. “Yes, that’s right. How did you…?”

“I knew it!” Asahi explained after he finished chewing the bite of food he had. “The way you had us do the raid scene today reminded me of the heist scene from ‘Acclamation of Anger.’”

“Yeah, I totally get what you’re talking about!” Hiyame exclaimed. “The way he made things more dramatic by drawing the viewer’s eyes up was so Tom Gray.”

Asahi laughed before speaking. “I’ve seen all of Tom Gray’s shows at least a hundred times!”

“Yeah, we get that you’re a huge fanatic.” Girl Rui replied. “But I get the feeling you’re also a pretty big fan, Boy Rui.”

“B-Boy Rui?” Tsukasa asked, taken off guard.

“Girl Rui and I talked the other day since we both have the same name.” Rui exclaimed. “We decided it would be funny if I called her Girl Rui and she called me Boy Rui.”

“Ah, I see… Carry on then!” Tsukasa replied.

“To answer your question, I suppose I am… I suspect I’ve also seen his shows about that many times.” Rui commented.

The conversation continued from there, though Tsukasa found himself trying not to tear up as Asahi explained his past in a war torn zone when he was younger. He really was surprising himself with how much emotion he was feeling today, but he set that aside for the time being.

“What was he doing in the middle of a war zone?” Rui asked.

“Tom Gray was from a neighboring country,” Asahi explained, “and he was volunteering to help refugees. I had no idea who he was. He tried to hand me some bread, but I told him that I didn’t want it. I just wanted a way to not be alone. That’s when he decided to put on a show for children like me. It was incredible.” Asahi mused, a slightly far away look on his face, as if he was seeing that time right in front of him, and maybe he was. “Alongside his volunteering duties, he somehow made costumes, props, and even a stage from the refuse and rubble that was laying around. After that, he made reflectors from pull tabs he’d taken off of some cans and hung them from the roof. I can still picture how shiny they were…

The show he did was about a child who’d been separated from everyone he knew and loved due to war, and how these strange animals found him and took care of him until he was able to reunite with his parents… It was so fun and exciting, I almost thought it was about me…” Asahi admitted, a fond, yet sad smile on his face. “It really felt like a dream. And thanks to Tom’s show, I was able to find my parents, and all because a photo of a certain child looking completely entranced by his performance was printed in a newspaper. I still have my copy of the newspaper as well…”

“That sounds like an unforgettable memory…” Rui softly replied.

Tsukasa lost himself in thought as Asahi launched into why he’d gotten into theater and joined ArcLand. No wonder it felt like we were on a real battlefield earlier… That’s his lived experience… I never would’ve guessed just by looking at him… He doesn’t look like someone who lived through a war… He only came back to reality when Asahi joked about Rui becoming the ArcLand cast’s director. It’s only a joke but… what if it becomes a serious offer…?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The month passed quickly after that, Tsukasa running mainly on autopilot until the day of the show arrived. He was walking home with Rui and Asahi, but he’d zoned out, trying to figure out how best to play Bartlett.

“You seem to trust Tsukasa-kun.” Asahi commented, glancing back at Tsukasa. “Quite a bit at that.”

“Yes, I do.” Rui replied. “Also… I believe it’s a director’s duty to ask a little too much of their actors from time to time.”

“I agree.” Asahi replied. “A show can only happen when you trust and believe in each other.”

“Precisely, but we should start making our way to the station.” Rui replied. 

The trio walked in silence for a while, Rui growing more concerned by the minute. 

Asahi hasn’t said anything for a while now… Is something wrong? Rui thought, snapping out of his thoughts when he heard his name. “Yes?”

“I know this is going to feel very sudden,” Asahi began, “and I know it’s the day before our show, but I need to ask you this… How would you like to work at ArcLand…?”

Rui’s eyes widened, surprised. “What…?”

“You’re still in highschool, so you’d probably be hired as a part-timer.” Asahi explained. “But I have a feeling that they’d make you a full employee in no time.”

“So… You’re head hunting me?” Rui asked, not noticing how Tsukasa had slowed down, falling further behind.

Asahi sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “I suppose that’s one way you could put it… But seeing you in action in person convinced me. With you, I have a feeling we’d be able to put on a show that brings everyone in the world together, like how Tom did… As a director, you’re bold, and you’re not afraid to ask others to do some wild things. But that excites me, I have to admit.” Asahi paused, turning to walk backwards so he could face Rui. “I’m constantly at the edge of my seat wondering what you’re going to say or how you’re going to respond next. That’s why I want to work alongside you, Rui-kun.”

Rui looked down at the ground, frowning. “I greatly appreciate what you just said, but…” He trailed off.

“I’m confident that your addition will lead to the rest of us becoming better actors.” Asahi continued. “I know you wish to be there for Nene, since she only has one more visit with her aunt, so it wouldn’t have to be right away. However, I also believe this could lead to you becoming a better director. The Center Theater at ArcLand is a venue where only those with the potential to become world class stars are able to perform. I’m sure directing such a cast would be fun for you since you’d be able to put on shows beyond your wildest imagination… Shows that can bring the world together… So, how does working with us at ArcLand sound?”

Neither Rui nor Asahi noticed that Tsukasa stopped walking, Rui too lost in thought. I really wasn’t expecting to be asked to work at ArcLand… Few directors would ever be considered for such an offer… And in terms of my dream… Rui looked up, unsure how to answer.

“I’m sorry…” Asahi apologized. “I know this is very sudden, and, to be honest, I wasn’t planning on asking you here. So, you don’t have to give an answer right now. Please let me know once you’ve had some time to think about it.”

Rui nodded. “Understood.”

“Alright then, see you tomorrow!” Asahi waved, leaving Rui alone, who finally noticed Tsukasa wasn’t walking.

“Tsukasa-kun…?”

“Hm? Oh, sorry Rui!” Tsukasa replied. “I got lost in thought about my part.”

“That’s alright.” Rui replied. “We should get heading home.”

“Yes, we should. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Tsukasa replied, walking off, his mask crumbling once he was out of sight of Rui. He’s going to join ArcLand… He’s going to leave… I need… I need KAITO… 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tsukasa found himself face to face with KAITO and the small boy, his expression blank and lightless, sitting limply on the show stage. 

“Tsukasa…” KAITO whispered, frowning. “What do you want to do about this?”

“‘Nii-san…”

Tsukasa sighed, gently ruffling the small boy’s hair. “I know… You both want it too, right…?”

The small boy nodded, clutching his cat plushie close to his chest. “Please, ‘nii-san…”

“He’s been asking about when he can ask you all month now.” KAITO admitted. “He’s tired, we both are.” His eyes dulled as he spoke. “There’s only one star left lit in ‘Kasa’s room. We can’t even see where we’re going in there anymore.”

“‘Kasa, you truly want this…? You don’t want to hope for the day things will get better?” Tsukasa asked, voice flat as well. 

“Tired… ‘nii-san…” The small boy replied. “Tired… fighting…”

“You’re tired of fighting…?” Tsukasa asked, sighing when he received a nod, scooping the small boy into his lap. “That’s okay, I’m tired of fighting as well… Tell you what, you wait with KAITO for your ‘nii-san in his room, okay? Just for one more day. I have to perform, and then, KAITO?”

KAITO gave a sad smile. “And then I’ll pull the curtains down, and we can all have our goodnight.”

Follow my lead and take a bow

Think of me as you face the crowd

To find the one you’re after

Your new lead actor

Ready to take the center stage

Chapter Text

“The laboratory is ours!” The major called, played by one of the ArcLand cast members. It was the final show. “However, we don’t appear to be alone…”

The audience murmured, surprised to find the major and some of the forces up on the lamps.

Excellent. Rui thought, watching from backstage using one of his drones. The audience is captivated. Just as we planned. The next moment’s also one of the most important parts of the show since it’s going to give them a nice jolt of excitement. That aspect of the show is second nature to our guests, while…

“Major!” Sergeant Willis, played by Nene, called. “There’s only one android! Our intel said there’d be two…”

“It must’ve been taken by those rats!” The major called. “We’ll pursue them! Sergeant Willis, your orders are to secure the android you’ve already found!”

“Copy!” Sergeant Willis responded, rushing off towards the android as she heard everyone else split off.

Bartlett, played by Tsukasa, startled when Sergeant Willis captured him. “What happened?” He asked. “Where is the Professor? Please, explain to me what is going on.”

“Explain?” Sergeant Willis echoed. “Well… You belong to us now. So, consequently, you’ll be taking orders from us.”

“But, only the Professor can change who has administrator privileges over my systems.” Bartlett replied, slightly worried. “Where is he? Is he safe?”

“He isn’t here anymore.” Sergeant Willis replied. “Sorry, but we’ll just have to change those by force.” She began to do just that, frowning as she mused to herself. “Hmm… Apologizing to an android feels strange…”

Rui gave a somber smile backstage. Tsukasa and Nene have improved their acting quite a bit. They certainly have absorbed as much as they could from the ArcLand cast members… “I couldn’t be more blessed to have them…”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“W-Where am I?” Alfred, played by Asahi, asked. “I require positioning data for this area…”

“Here?” Emma, played by Emu, asked. “It’s the farm my grandpa started out here on the frontier, Mr. Robot! We found you collapsed on the ground in one of the fields!”

“I am not a robot. I am an android.” Alfred replied. “My name is Alfred Hawking.”

Tsukasa watched from backstage, frowning. Here it comes… The next scene I’m in is where Bartlett no longer has emotions. I’ll be dropping my mask for this… I don’t know if I’ll be able to get it back up in time for when Bartlett gets rebooted, but I’ll have to try. But… knowing my goodnight is coming after this is over, it makes me feel… relieved. Maybe I can use that feeling…

Rui stared at Tsukasa. What could he be thinking so hard about? His gaze shifted to the scene on stage that was still ongoing. Is he thinking about the play? I thought he had Bartlett figured out though… Did he decide on a last minute change…? I suppose all I can do is wait and see…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Have you downloaded the map for where the next battle is located?” Sergeant Willis asked Bartlett, turning to face the android.

“Yes.” Bartlett replied, sending a shiver down Sergeant Willis’ spine. “I have also found the evacuation routes that the civilians will likely be using.”

Nene couldn’t help but bite back a shudder. He never sounded like this before… What is this…? She quickly got back in character, knowing a noticeable break would ruin the atmosphere. “Were you ordered to do that…?” 

“Yes.” Bartlett replied, nodding. “I was told that it would be absolutely necessary for this battle. Do you have any issues with that?”

“Not really…” Sergeant Willis replied.

Backstage, low chatter was breaking out.

“Is he alright…?” Hiyame asked.

“He feels so… different than when we practiced…” Girl Rui muttered.

“Yeah…” One of the ArcLand cast members replied.

Rui frowned, watching the scene play out. “Tsukasa-kun… Just what is going on in your head right now…?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Al, help!” Emma cried. “What do I do?! One of the calves ran away!”

“What?!” Alfried exclaimed, eyes wide. “No! We must go after it at once!”

The two began running.

“Thanks, Al!” Emma called as they ran, then, her eyes widened. “Wait, Al, watch out for the manure pit!”

“Wah!” Alfred fell, hitting the ground with a thud as the audience laughed.

Rui watched from backstage, still concerned about Tsukasa, but he had to admit the current scene had lightened his mood a little bit. The two androids who ended up being raised in two completely different environments… However, as the front lines near the peaceful farmland, Alfred is forced to take up arms for the very first time in order to protect its residents. And our two androids are reunited on the battlefield… Now, here comes the show’s climax. Break a leg everyone.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alfred stood across from Bartlett, gun in hand.

Bartlett sighed, a gun also in hand. “Why…? My systems have been augmented specifically for this battlefield. How are you able to stand your ground against me?”

“I don’t know…” Alfred replied. “But I… I want to protect these people. That may be the reason why I’m able to summon more strength than I normally can.”

“I do not understand.” Bartlett commented.

“Please, just try!” Alfred exclaimed.

Bartlett closed his eyes, and when he reopened them, there was absolutely no light left in them, sending a collective shudder down everyone’s spines as they felt like they were getting sucked into a void. When Bartlett spoke, his voice was entirely devoid of both emotion and inflection. “No, I will not.” He replied. “I cannot fathom your motives.” I can’t let you in. It’s too late for me now. Please, just let me have my goodnight. 

“I do not wish to kill you, Bartlett!” Alfred cried. I don’t want to see your personality die, Tsukasa! “The only thing that separates us is the environments in which we were raised! We would not be doing this right now if you were not taught to kill!” Tsukasa, please! I don’t understand what’s going on, but why can’t I feel anything from you?!

“But that is what I was taught.” Bartlett replied. “That is reality.” There’s no saving me, Asahi. I’ve made my decision. For myself, for ‘Kasa, for KAITO. There’s no going back. “So, I must defeat you.”

“Bartlett!”

Gunfire broke out, and the two androids began fighting.

Asahi’s noticed…. I can tell… Rui thought. Towards the end of the battle, Alfred somehow manages to damage Bartlett’s power core… How will this go…?

Bartlett staggered when he was hit, collapsing.

“Bartlett!” Alfred cried, rushing to catch the other android, tears streaming down his face.

“Why are you crying…?” Bartlett asked. “You are the victor.”

“How can you call this victory?” Alfred asked. How can you be okay with this, Tsukasa?! “There are no winners here…!”

“I still do not understand…” Bartlett replied. “However… It may have been nice to see…” In another world, could I have been happy? Could I have lived a different life than the one I live now?

“What?” Alfred breathed, shocked.

“To see where you grew up… I wonder how I would have…” Bartlett’s eyes closed, and he shut down.

“Bartlett!” Alfred cried in anguish, hugging the other android as rapid footsteps signaled someone approaching.

“Al!” Emma called. “They just said on the news how our country beat that other country! You don’t have to fight anymore…” She trailed off when she noticed Bartlett. “Oh no…!”

“Bartlett!” Sergeant Willis called as she rushed over. “No… Why did it have to be like this…?” 

“Why did I have to be the one to kill you…?” Alfred muttered, still cradling Bartlett’s body.

“Wait, no, he’s still alive…!” Sergeant Willis gasped. “There should be a backup battery within his power core! As long as you didn’t hit that…” Sergeant Willis began looking, cursing the situation when she saw the damage. “I-It looks like it’s gonna short! Do you have any tools I can borrow?!”

“We have some in the barn!” Emma replied. “I’ll go get them now!” She ran off as she spoke to go get the tools.

Alfred turned to Sergeant Willis. “I have no idea who you are, but please save him! Please…! I beg of you!” Please, help Tsukasa! Nene, help him!

“Hang on…” Sergeant Willis replied. “Are you the other android? Did you and Bartlett come from the same laboratory?”

“Y-Yes, that is correct…” Alfred replied. “I was found on this farm and have been working here for ten years now.”

“I see…” Sergeant Willis mused. “If Bart hadn’t ended up with us, he might’ve been given a chance to lead a better life… Like you…”

“What…?” Alfred breathed. 

Emma returned, lugging a toolbox with her. “I found the tools! I really hope they help.”

“I’ll try my best!” Sergeant Willis replied. “But this is my first time doing this, so I can’t guarantee anything…” She got to work on fixing Bartlett, the only sound now being the sound of the tools as she worked. “There!” She exclaimed as she set the drill down. “We should be able to reboot him now! But… I need to ask you something before I do…” Sergeant Willis turned to face the duo, a serious look on her face. “If we allow him to reboot normally, he’ll probably go straight back to being a weapon of war. However, if we perform a full reset, we’d be able to erase all of his memories and give him another chance.”

“What…?!” Emma exclaimed.

“I want to erase all the horrible things we taught him.” Sergeant Willis admitted. “But as the one who was created alongside him, I need to know how you’d feel about that.”

“I…” Alfred went quiet, thinking the situation over. “No, please do not reset him… Turning him into a blank slate may be easier… But only he knows the value of everything he’s experienced these past ten years. So, please, leave his memories intact. Instead, would you mind installing this for me…?” Alfred held out a chip to Sergeant Willis.

Sergeant Willis took the chip, examining it. “Are these memories…?”

Alfred nodded. “They are mine. They’re from these past ten years. I want Bartlett to see them. I want him to see how beautiful this world is, and why I am able to feel.” I want Tsukasa to realize that he’s got people who can support him in whatever’s going on.

“Okay…” Sergeant Willis replied with a nod. “I’ll install this before rebooting him.”

Rui frowned backstage, watching as Sergeant Willis installed the memories. This is your moment, Tsukasa…

The mask has to come back… Just a little bit… Tsukasa thought to himself. Just enough to show the world what it’s like for an android to gain emotions for the very first time… 

Bartlett rebooted, looking around. “Where am I…? I’m seeing readings that my power core was destroyed…”

“Bartlett…!” Alfred exclaimed upon seeing Bartlett awake, relieved. Thank goodness he seems a little better, but something still doesn’t feel right with Tsukasa.

“Alfred…” Bartlett breathed. “Did you wake me…?” Why…? Just leave me alone…

“Yes, he did.” Sergeant Willis replied.

“I see…” Bartlett mused. “Alfred… It appears there is a mission that I must complete now.”

“What?” Alfred asked, confused.

“Will you show me what I saw in those memories?” Bartlett asked. “This beauty you saw over the past ten years? Then, I may begin to understand who you are…”

“Yes… Yes, of course.” Alfred replied. “And… We can keep creating new memories together… Bart…”

“I would like that very much… Al…”

Ah… Rui thought. I really do love these moments… When everybody takes my direction on board and their hard work blooms into a wonderful spectacle… Also… When I get to see that my direction has moved everyone’s dreams along and made them smile… I can’t get enough of those moments…

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The troupes had spent a while cleaning up when Rui approached Asahi. “Asahi-san… When we finish cleaning up, can we talk?”

“Yes, of course.” Asahi replied.

“Okay, until then…” Rui replied, trailing off as he walked off.

“Rui…” Nene muttered, watching Rui walk off. She shook it off for the time being, focused on cleaning up. However, she didn’t miss when Rui and Asahi walked to the fountain.

“I apologize in advance for doing this right after our final show. I’m sure you’re very tired, Asahi-san…” Rui commented.

“No, I’m okay. I have triple the stamina of a normal person.” Asahi replied. “Anyway… Have you reached a decision?”

“Yes…” Rui replied. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again. “After we spoke… I thoroughly weighed my options. Stay at Phoenix Wonderland as a member of Wonderlands x Showtime… or work alongside you, Asahi-san, at ArcLand…” Rui paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts before speaking again. “And I thought quite a lot about each option in terms of making my dream come true…”

“I see…” Asahi replied.

“To be completely frank… If I want to make my dream come true… I should accept your offer, Asahi-san. The practices we held together for our performance showed me just how skilled and passionate the cast members of ArcLand are. It’s a simple fact that no other place in Japan has such a skilled cast at its disposal.” Rui explained. “Not only that, but ArcLand provides the perfect working environment for directors. I wouldn’t have to make any of my own props… So… As a director, moving to ArcLand is what I should do…”

“Does that mean…?” Asahi asked, though he trailed off when he saw Rui’s expression. The sad smile coupled with the evening light and the wind lightly blowing his hair made him understand something. “I see… That’s quite an expression you’ve got there on your face…”

“Huh…?” Rui asked. “My expression? What do you mean…?”

“You know what I mean.” Asahi replied. “I wish there was a mirror here. Rui-kun… thank you for considering my offer… I’m glad you took the chance to join us seriously. But… I have a feeling your heart lies elsewhere.”

Oh… I see… Rui thought. I guess this means I…

“I noticed something when we were practicing together.” Asahi commented. “The way you direct is truly egalitarian. You’re never biased towards anyone… That being said, you show a great deal of trust in everyone from Wonderlands x Showtime. You still want to do shows with them… right?” Asahi sighed, looking wistful. “I wish things could’ve turned out differently… Especially since it seems I failed to make you think that you wanted to be a director for me! I guess that means I still have a long way to go as an actor.”

“That’s not true. You’re already an incredible actor, Asahi-san.” Rui replied with a shake of his head. 

“Haha. Thanks.” Asahi said. “But I want to get better for when we meet next time and really make you do a double take.”

“Asahi-san…” Rui breathed.

“Still, I understand how you feel…” Asahi admitted. “I was blown away by Tsukasa-kun’s acting, though part of it did concern me… Compared to who I spoke to before the show, it was like in both character and himself, he was a completely different person. Nene-chan and Emu-chan also did an admirable job keeping up with us. If I had friends like that, I’d want to do everything I could to make them shine on stage. I’d want to see how they’d grow moving forward…”

“Yes.” Rui replied, nodding. “To me, Wonderlands x Showtime is… a precious jewel that perpetually glows with color and brightness.”

“That’s a nice expression, Rui-kun.” Asahi commented. “Anyway, I’ll ask you again when you graduate from high school. Until then, Rui-kun, I’ll be waiting on the world’s stage…”

“Asahi-san…” Rui muttered. 

“Hehe. I’m sure you… No, I’m sure all of you will be able to catch up to me in no time.”

“Yes, we will.” Rui agreed.

“In that case, for the sake of our friends, let’s both keep doing our best for our friends.” Asahi commented.

“Yes, let’s.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rui listened to Nene and Emu mutter in their sleep, chuckling. “Sounds like they’re having some nice dreams…”

“Hm?” Tsukasa’s tone was flat, tinged heavily with exhaustion. “Rui, you’re awake? I thought you’d fallen asleep considering the day we had.”

“I had a few things on my mind, that’s all.” Rui replied. “Aren’t you going to sleep, Tsukasa-kun?”

“Actually, I’ve been thinking about a few things as well.” Tsukasa admitted.

“Oh? May I ask what’s on your mind?” Rui asked.

“Just the fact that we won’t be putting on anymore ambassadorial performances. It’s been bothering me a bit.” Tsukasa replied. 

“Why’s that?”

“As I mentioned before, this experience gave me a chance to learn quite a lot about Asahi and the others. I suppose it’s only natural for skill gaps to appear when performing in shows alongside good actors… but learning something new topped all of that, and it ended up being very fun.” What is fun anymore…? I know this is the mask, but… do I even know how to experience fun anymore…?

“Yes, I agree. I had fun as well.” Rui commented. “I can tell you were able to learn several new things while working alongside Asahi-san, Tsukasa-kun.”

“Yes, I knew it!” Tsukasa quietly exclaimed. “You saying that means the changes I’ve been feeling are real! Still, I’m saddened by how our ambassadorial performances are coming to an end. After all, we were able to meet and work with these incredible people because of them…” Tsukasa turned to look out the window. “As a future star, I sure hope that I’ll get more opportunities to really grow like this… But, there’s no use crying over spilled milk! We have a duty to fulfill as cast members of Phoenix Wonderland. Let us do what we can for it.” Tsukasa yawned, leaning his head against Rui’s shoulder. “I’m getting sleepy…” As soon as we get home, I can get my goodnight… I can’t wait… 

“Hehe.” Rui chuckled, watching Tsukasa fall asleep. Still… I’m worried… All of us sensed something was off with Tsukasa when we got to the part where Bartlett didn’t have emotions anymore… I wonder what’s going on… “Tsukasa-kun…”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tsukasa closed the door to his room. They’d gotten back late enough that everyone was asleep, so there was no one to stop him. He changed into a comfortable sweater and sweatpants, knowing he’d want only the best for himself in his goodnight. He grabbed his pegasus plush as well from his closet, a plush he’d long stored away, but one he now wanted to bring with him. He didn’t waste any time going to Sekai, making his way to the main show tent. “KAITO, ‘Kasa…”

The duo looked up, each dressed in their own comfortable clothes. KAITO was dressed in a baggy shirt and sweatpants, while the small boy was dressed in a cat onesie, clutching his cat plushie. To Tsukasa’s surprise, KAITO also had a plush, but it was a Phenny, one he recognized as one he’d handed over from Toya.

“‘Nii-san…”

“Tsukasa…”

Tsukasa walked over to the duo, moving some strands of the small boy’s hair out of his face before turning to KAITO. “The others…?”

“All asleep.” KAITO replied. “We can have our goodnight uninterrupted.”

“‘Nii-san… tired…” The small boy muttered, weakly grasping Tsukasa’s hand.

“It’s alright.” Tsukasa replied. “We’re getting our goodnight. KAITO’s pulling the curtain down. Let’s go to your room, okay?”

KAITO led the way to the small boy’s room, opening the door once it appeared. “‘Kasa, can you lock the door? Once you do that, I can put the barrier on it.”

The small boy nodded, using the light from the flashlight Tsukasa had also brought to shut the door and lock it, a dark blue foggy barrier appearing in front of the door soon after.

“Alright, it’s done.” KAITO commented. “The curtain has been closed. Tsukasa, can you point your light at the bed?”

Tsukasa nodded, moving forward into the room and using his flashlight to illuminate the bed.

KAITO took the small boy’s hand, leading the boy to the bed and getting him comfortable before he laid down beside the boy, beckoning Tsukasa over.

Tsukasa walked over, slipping into the bed on the other side of the small boy before shutting the light off, KAITO tucking the three in.

“Tsukasa, I know you made your mind up already, but are you absolutely sure you want to do this? What if the others don’t find us?”

“I don’t care anymore.” Tsukasa replied, his voice just as flat and cold as the darkness of the room. “I want to rest. I can’t feel anything anymore, so why should I go on?”

“‘Nii-san… Hold my hand…?”

“Of course, ‘Kasa.” Tsukasa replied, moving to hold the small boy’s hand, yawning. He closed his eyes, feeling KAITO snuggling against the small boy and snuggling against the small boy in turn. He stared at the two for a moment, the both of them already asleep, before he too closed his eyes, quietly slipping into his goodnight.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toya had only been trying to compose with KAITO when KAITO’s eyes suddenly dulled, the Virtual Singer freezing in his tracks. He didn’t much appreciate the change, since things had gotten bad with his dad again, and it made him wary. “KAITO-san…?”

KAITO snapped out of it, wistfully staring at his laptop. “I see… He really went through with it…”

“Went through with what?” Toya asked, confused.

KAITO sighed, turning to face Toya, taking his headphones off. “Do you remember when I told you about goodnights?”

Toya thought back on that memory, frowning.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“If things ever become too much for you, I can give you your goodnight. The others won’t, because they’re all happy with each other. But I’m different, and you’ve seen how I’m treated compared to the others. I don’t understand why, and I’m sick of it now, so if it ever becomes too much. Come to me. I’ll end the song for you.”

“KAITO-san… What would happen if I accepted?” Toya asked, silver eyes dully gleaming in interest.

“We’d sleep.” KAITO replied. “Safe in a hidden corner of Sekai, protected from the world. We’d dream. Dream of a life where all of our strife doesn’t exist. We’d… We’d finally be truly happy…”

“Truly happy… huh…” Toya mused, going over his memories. He stayed quiet for a few minutes before speaking again. “I like the sound of that. I don’t feel ready for a goodnight now, but… I’ll keep it in mind. Thank you for telling me.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Did someone get their goodnight?” Toya asked, expression serious.

“Three people.” KAITO replied. “Our connection with our Wonderland counterpart just dropped. I don’t know how my counterparts are taking it, but we each received a fleeting thought before it dropped.”

“Counterparts? Oh right, you said a while ago that there’s other Sekais.” Toya replied. “What was the thought you received…?”

“A wish.” KAITO replied. “My counterpart wished people named Tsukasa and ‘Kasa sweet dreams.”

Toya’s heart shattered when he heard who it was. “‘Kasa-nii…”

KAITO noticed, turning his full attention to Toya. “Toya…? Hey, what’s wrong…?”

“T-The first name…” Toya muttered. “I-I don’t know who ‘Kasa could be… but… Tsukasa-nii…”

“‘Kasa’s the living manifestation of feelings.” KAITO gently explained. “But… Tsukasa is your brother…?”

“Not truly…” Toya replied, the light in his eyes dimming to nothing. “But he feels more like family to me than my own family does…”

“Oh… Oh, Toya…” KAITO gasped, frowning. “I’m sorry…”

Toya stayed silent, staring at the table. “KAITO… I can’t…” He didn’t even notice he’d dropped the honorific.

“You can’t?” KAITO asked. “Toya?”
“Tsukasa-nii’s been the only thing keeping me going in the face of my father when things get tough…” Toya explained. “Akito helps, but I look up to Tsukasa-nii. He’s the one who told me to do what I want… I can’t go on without him…”

KAITO frowned, but he got the implications, taking Toya’s hand and standing them both up. “Alright… I understand… Let’s go, Toya… Let’s go to my place.”

Toya let KAITO lead him out of the cafe, not caring that the laptop being left behind would clue the others in that something was wrong, barely registering going through the twists and turns of the alleys and being led into a studio apartment. He only fully registered being handed a set of comfortable clothes. “Hm? KAITO?”

“You’ll want to put these on.” KAITO explained. “I’ll change as well, but, isn’t it nice to have our goodnight in comfort?”

“Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. Thank you, KAITO.” Toya replied. He watched as KAITO moved elsewhere into the apartment before changing into the clothes, the feeling of soft fabrics enveloping him already being soothing. However, he thought of one thing he wanted, calling out to KAITO.

KAITO came back into the living room, wearing a baggy shirt and sleep pants, clutching a dog plushie. “Yes?”

“I’m going to go get my favorite cat plushie. Can you make sure I arrive back here?” Toya explained.

“Of course I can.” KAITO replied.

“Thank you, KAITO.” Toya replied. He pressed pause on Ready Steady, disappearing back to his room in a shower of glitter and music notes. He noticed how quiet the house was, meaning his mom and dad were both asleep, checking the time, he was surprised to find it was 1 AM. KAITO and I were composing for longer than I realized… Oh well, there’s no use in worrying about it now… He grabbed his cat plushie off of his bed, a small, orange thing he’d gotten at the arcade with Akito one day, knowing the blue counterpart was safely in Akito’s room, and pressed play on Ready Steady, appearing back in KAITO’s living room.

“Ah, Toya, you’re back.” KAITO commented upon the singer’s return. “I grabbed some pillows to put behind our backs and some blankets for us. My bed’s only big enough for one person, so I figured it would be alright if we slept on the couch instead.”

“That’s alright.” Toya replied, watching as KAITO locked the door to the apartment and put up a foggy, dark blue barrier in front of the door. He sat himself down on the couch, leaning against KAITO once KAITO had sat down as well.

KAITO positioned the pillows, then covered himself and Toya with the blankets. He yawned, letting his head fall onto Toya, who also looked half asleep. “Toya.”

“Mm…” Toya replied, sleepy gaze shifting to KAITO.

“Are you one hundred percent sure you want to do this?” KAITO asked. “There’s no turning back.”

“I’m sure.” Toya replied, trying his hardest to stay awake. “I don’t want to go on without ‘Kasa-nii…”

“Alright, goodnight, Toya.”

Toya didn’t respond, having already slipped into his goodnight.

You can’t understand what you never see

This ugly bloom, born anew, never wanted to be

What else is there to say? I just can’t erase

This unseemingly stain of makeup tainting my face

You can’t understand what the future holds

This ugly bloom, born anew, will let its body run cold

So, punish me for living. I finally give up

I’ll take my last breath, ‘cause…

I’ve had enough

Chapter Text

Rui couldn’t find Tsukasa, and that worried him. Tsukasa hadn’t said anything about not coming to school that day, and he’d written off not being responded to the previous day as it being a weekend and Tsukasa just taking the time he needed to recover from the intense performances that had been held over the course of that Friday and Saturday. Now it was Monday, and Tsukasa had been AWOL for almost two days straight. He stared down at the students in the courtyard, having chosen to sit on the roof. It’s weird… I used to be able to handle being alone… And yet now… Tsukasa, where are you…? Asahi noticed something when we performed… We both did… He frowned, picking at his lunch.

“Rui-kun!”

Rui jumped, looking around, only relaxing when he saw Len on his phone. “Ah, Len, you startled me. Is there something you need?”

“We can’t find KAITO!” Len replied, looking panicked. “He’s not even in his room!”

Rui’s eyes widened when he heard the news. “I’ll get the others after school and we’ll come over and help you look. Try to stay calm until then, alright?”

“A-Alright.” Len replied, looking slightly dejected.

“If you’d like, you can stay with me until lunch ends.” Rui offered. “Tsukasa-kun didn’t come to school today, so it’s a bit lonely sitting here by myself.”

“Tsukasa-kun didn’t come to school?” Len asked. “That’s odd… He usually never skips school if you guys have a day in between shows and school.”

“It is odd…” Rui muttered. “I’m hoping he only got sick and isn’t able to use his phone.”

“Maybe you could ask someone he knows if they’ve seen Tsukasa-kun.” Len replied.

“Oh, you’re right!” Rui explained. “Aoyagi-kun is pretty close to Tsukasa-kun. I’ll talk to him after school and see if he’s seen Tsukasa-kun, or heard from him.”

“Good idea.” Len replied. “Now, eat, or you won’t have any energy!”

Rui chuckled, but started eating anyway. Tsukasa… I hope you’re okay…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Akito wasn’t having a good day, and it showed in how aggressively he went about things. Usually, Toya would be there to help calm him down, but he hadn’t heard from Toya in two days. They’d just done an event on Saturday, so it made sense that no one saw each other on Sunday, but Toya never skipped school, so it made him worried, and thus, irritable. Ugh… It’s not like Toya to not show up, so where is he…? Damn it… Get it together, Akito… He might’ve had something come up. This happened before when we were first starting out. But now that we’re in high school, he doesn’t skip school like that. What could’ve happened?

“Oi, Akito!”

Akito looked up, scowling when he saw An approaching him. “What do you want?”

“Have you seen Toya anywhere?” An asked. “Some of the teachers have been asking since they haven’t seen him in school today and he was marked unexcused in homeroom.”

Akito’s scowl only grew, brows furrowing. “I haven’t seen him.” He gripped his bento box harder, glaring at the ground. “He hasn’t texted me ever since Saturday either.”

“He hasn’t?” An asked, surprised. “That’s odd. You two are like two peas in a pod. Why would he not text you?”

“I have no idea, but something feels off about this whole mess.” Akito grumbled, though he finally started eating so he could at least try to get his lunch period nap in. “I haven’t heard anything out of Kamishiro-senpai and Tenma-senpai either.”

That caused An to stop in her tracks. “Absolutely nothing from Weirdo One Two today?” She asked, speaking again after Akito nodded. “Does that mean Tenma-senpai’s absent as well?”

“It could, and if they’re both absent, that makes this picture even less reassuring.” Akito grumbled in response. 

“I texted Kohane earlier about this.” An admitted. “Told her to meet us in Sekai so we could talk about this.”

“For once, that’s a good idea.” Akito replied. “Don’t you have your own lunch to eat though?” He pointed out, gesturing to An’s bag.

“Ah, you’re right!” An panicked, quickly pulling her bento out of her bag and beginning to eat the taiyaki inside. “Maybe MEIKO and the others noticed something.”

“It’s possible.” Akito replied. “Still, eat, or you’ll never finish by the time lunch ends, and I still want my nap.”

“Okay, okay…” An replied. “Still, it worries me, you know?”

“I know. It worries me too.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ah, Shinonome-kun, there you are!”

Akito turned to see who’d spoken, grimacing when he saw Rui. “Oh great… What do you want?”

Rui came to a stop in front of Akito, a worried frown on his face. “Is Aoyagi-kun here today?”

“No, why?” Akito asked, knowing it must be serious if Rui of all people looked worried.

Rui winced. “Tsukasa-kun never showed up today, and he hasn’t talked to me at all since Saturday. I was hoping Aoyagi-kun might know if something was going on.”

“Unfortunately for you,” Akito began, a worried frown appearing on his face, “I haven’t heard from Toya since Saturday. That’s not a good correlation, is it?”

“No, it’s not.” Rui replied. “Please do tell me if you find him.” Rui felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, taking it out. Saki-chan…? “Ah, excuse me, I have to take this.” Rui walked away from Akito, answering his phone before putting it up to his ear. “Saki-chan?”

“Rui-kun!” Saki’s frantically loud reply forced Rui to move his phone away from his ear for a moment. “Is onii-chan with you?!”

“Tsukasa-kun? No, I haven’t seen him all day. Why?”

“Onii-chan never came home! I had a sleepover with Ichi and the others on Saturday, and I got back yesterday and he wasn’t home, so I thought maybe he was with you, but then he never showed up today either!”

Rui’s eyes widened, his shock only growing. “He never came home?”

“No! I don’t know where he is, and our parents are back on another business trip, so they can’t help me look!” Saki sounded panicked, sobs ringing loud and clear over the line.

“Alright, alright. Saki-chan, I need you to breathe for me.” Rui replied, tone forceful and serious. “I’ll tell the others so we can start looking for Tsukasa, but I need you to breathe for me, alright?”

“O-Okay…” Saki replied. “I-I’m sorry for burdening you with this…”

“No, don’t be.” Rui replied, beginning his walk to the school’s gate. “I’m glad you brought this to my attention. Asahi-san and I had actually noticed something was off with Tsukasa-kun during our performance. I was hoping it was nothing more than him potentially coming down with something from being out in the cold so often for this performance, but it seems that’s not the case.” He spotted Nene and Emu waiting for him at the gate, picking up his pace. “I’m going to have to let you go. Text me a list of any spots you can think of that Tsukasa-kun might go to when he wants to be left alone.”

“A-Alright! Thank you, Rui-kun.”

Rui hung up the call, reaching Nene and Emu in record time.

“Rui-kun, what’s wrong?!” Emu asked upon seeing him. “Why are you in such a rush?!”

Rui sighed. “It’s about Tsukasa-kun. He never went home.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Akito stalked into Weekend Garage, only just remembering not to slam the door open. He stalked over to the counter, sitting down at one of the stools and burying his head in his hands, groaning.

“You alright, kid?”

Akito looked up, noticing Ken had come over. He groaned again, crossing his arms on the counter and laying his head down on them. 

“Okay, that’s alright. We don’t have to talk now, but we are going to discuss this once the others get here.” Ken replied. “What do you want to have? The usual?”

Akito gave a barely perceptible nod, idly listening as Ken walked away. The noise soon blurred together though, becoming nothing but background noise. Tenma-senpai and Toya at the same time… I’m not liking the implications of that at all… Why would Toya disappear out of the blue with no warning like that…? What could’ve happened? He didn’t get into another fight with his old man and run away, did he? The sound of the Garage’s bell going off snapped him out of his thoughts, and he paled when he saw none other than Harumichi himself, quickly adjusting his posture.

Harumichi looked around the Garage with distaste, but made his way to Akito nonetheless. “I’ll get straight to the point.” He said when he got to Akito. “Has Toya been with you?”

“No, he hasn’t, Aoyagi-san.” Akito replied, caught off guard. “Has something happened to him, Aoyagi-san? I know your uh… distaste for this establishment, so I’m a little surprised to see you here.”

Harumichi’s expression hardened. “He never came home Saturday night.” 

Akito’s eyes widened. “Never?”

“I waited up for him to get back, but he never came back.” Harumichi explained. “So, as much as I would rather prefer being in a higher establishment than this, I knew I’d have to ask those closest to him in his age group once his mother implored me to start searching.”

Akito’s expression hardened as well. “Once An and Kohane get here, I’ll alert them, and we’ll start searching. The moment we find Toya, we’ll have him contact you.”

“Very well then.” Harumichi turned and left, the bell jingling again as he did so.

“Who was that?” Ken asked as he set the plate of pancakes and the cup of coffee with milk and sugar in front of Akito.

Akito scowled, turning to face Ken. “That was Aoyagi-san. He told me Toya never came home after our event on Saturday, and wanted to know if he was with me. Problem is, Toya never came to my place.”

“Hmm… That is rather worrying.” Ken replied, waving An over once she stepped into Weekend Garage. “An, have you seen Toya?”

“Toya?” An asked. “No, I haven’t. He wasn’t even at school today.”

Ken hissed. “Toya’s father just stopped by to see if Toya was with Akito. He says Toya never came home from your event on Saturday.”

An frowned. “I remember him going home.” She admitted. “He must’ve come in through his window if his father doesn’t know he went home. He texted me when he got back that he was going to work on some composing.”

“Either way, whether he went home or not, it’s not good.” Ken replied, beckoning Kohane over as she arrived, filling her in on the situation.

“What?! Aoyagi-kun’s missing?!” Kohane exclaimed, barely keeping her voice down enough to not alert the entire cafe. “I thought he went home after our event!”

“He did.” An replied, expression grim. “He must’ve gone through his window when he got back for his father to not realize he came back. I’m unsure why he did that, but he’s gone missing since then.”

“So where is he then?!” Akito snapped.

“Woah, woah, easy kid.” Ken said, slightly startled by Akito’s outburst.

“God damn it, now’s not the time Ken-san!” Akito replied. “My partner’s missing!” His gaze drifted to his promise ring, expression crumpling. “H-He’s missing…”

Ken came around the counter, rubbing Akito’s back. He knew Akito didn’t usually get torn up, but Toya was the exception, so he’d be there for Akito no matter what. “Akito, listen to me. I know it hurts, but you need to be a little objective. Are there any spots Toya goes when he wants to be alone?”

Akito paused, blinking. “Yeah… Yeah, there are… Several actually.”

“Then what you guys need to do is make a list of those spots and check them all, alright?” Ken replied. “I’ll wait here in case Toya shows up here.”

“Alright.” An replied. “Let’s make that list. We need to find Toya as fast as possible.”

Android Girl

You’re making me lose my mind

I don’t who you are anymore

It’s as if you were never mine

Yet, I…

Yet, I…

Believed in you all this time…

Android Girl

How long have I felt this way?
This kiss I shared with you was so painful that it took my breath away.

I know

Although

We restart

We fall apart together

What we have will drag on in this way forever

Chapter Text

“Rui-kun, Nene-chan, Emu-chan, over here!”

The trio turned, spotting Len over by the main show tent, making their way over.

“You called, Len-kun?” Rui asked. “I updated the girls on what was going on.”

Len nodded. “We’ve been looking all over, but we can’t find KAITO.” Len explained. “On top of that, we’ve all been pretty tired.” He glanced up at the sky, frowning. “Sekai’s been in a perpetual state of night ever since we woke up yesterday. We don’t know why, but none of us have much energy. Some of the plushies have already fallen asleep and can’t be woken up.”

Emu frowned. “That doesn’t sound very wonderhoy…”

“It’s not.” Nene commented. “Something’s clearly going on. Rui, do you think it could be related to Tsukasa?”

“It’s possible.” Rui replied, voice and expression uncharacteristically serious. “Tsukasa-kun is missing, and so’s KAITO-nii. The picture doesn’t add up.”

“KAITO-nii?” Len asked.

Rui rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah, well, I do look up to him as a bit of an older brother. I’m just… a little bit shy about admitting it to others. But I have a feeling that in our current situation, hiding any part of how we feel won’t be good for anyone.”

“Rui may be right.” MEIKO commented, startling the group as she walked over. “This exhaustion… It feels like there’s something more behind it.”

“Something more behind it?” Emu asked. “What do you mean by that, MEIKO-onii-chan?” 

“It feels almost like a pull.” MEIKO replied. “I’m doing double the workload, and I’m feeling it the most. I just want to lay down and rest… but I’m worried about that pull.”

“Len-kun told us some plushies have already fallen asleep and won’t wake up. Which ones are they?” Rui asked.

“Usa, the dog plushie, the bear plushie, and Birdie.” MEIKO replied, listing each one off on her fingers as she spoke. “We’ve got them laid out on the stage for now since it’s too far to the town to carry them back to their homes.”

“We’ll join the search for Tsukasa and KAITO.” Nene said. “MEIKO, you, on the other hand, need to get some rest. You’ve got bags under your eyes.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll go rest.” MEIKO replied. “I’ll be with the plushies on stage if you need me.” She walked off, leaving the trio alone.

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“Are you sure he’s here, Shinonome-kun?” Kohane asked, standing with the rest of the group outside of Crase Cafe.

“He has to be.” Akito replied. “We’ve checked everywhere else. This is the only option.” He opened the door to the cafe, surprised to see MEIKO dozing at one of the tables, doubly surprised to see KAITO’s laptop there. He hurried in, going over to MEIKO and shaking her awake.

MEIKO blearily opened her eyes, her gaze clouded with sleep. “Hm…? Akito…?”

“What happened?” An asked. “Why’s it night here in the middle of the day?”

MEIKO yawned, rubbing her eyes. “I’m not sure… I found KAITO’s laptop when I opened up yesterday. It’s been night out since yesterday. I don’t know where the others are. They haven’t shown up at all. I thought maybe KAITO just accidentally left his laptop behind after he and Toya got done composing, but he hasn’t come back for it. I’ve been feeling exhausted since yesterday though. I haven’t been able to run any of the machines since I keep dozing off…” MEIKO trailed off, dozing off as she spoke until Akito shook her awake again.

“Alright, Kohane and I are going to help you to the breakroom before we look for Toya and KAITO.” Akito explained. “I need you to stay awake until we get you on the couch. It wouldn’t do any good for you to get hurt because you fell.”

MEIKO took a moment to process what Akito said, then nodded, accepting Akito’s help in standing up. She let herself be led to the breakroom, Kohane opening the door, then let herself be led to the couch, laying down once a pillow was placed on the couch. It didn’t take her long to fall asleep. 

“I’ve never seen her this tired before…” Kohane muttered as her and Akito made their way back to the front.

“I’ve never seen her like this either.” Akito replied. “Whatever’s happening to this place is likely affecting her, and I’d bet it’s affecting the others too. That’s probably why they haven’t shown up. If they can’t do anything because they keep dozing off, that likely includes going places too.”

“We’ll have to find them as we search for Toya then.” An commented. “And try to get them back here. Hopefully none of them are as bad as MEIKO was, or we won’t be able to move them anywhere since we don’t know where any of them live.”

“Right.” Akito replied. “Let’s get searching.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Nene-chan, Emu-chan, have you found Tsukasa-kun or KAITO anywhere?” Rui asked the girls when they regrouped in front of the main show tent. 

“I searched the town and the merry go round area and couldn’t find anything.” Nene replied.

“Me neither.” Emu replied. “The flying train and Ferris Wheel were both empty.”

“As was the roller coaster.” Rui said, frowning. “This is certainly troubling… Where else could they be…? Also, did you see Miku or the others?”

“I saw Miku in the town.” Nene replied. “She was trying to get plushies into their houses in case they fell asleep too.”

“I found Rin-chan searching for plushies in the flying train.” Emu commented. “I didn’t see Luka-chan anywhere, but Rin-chan said Luka-chan was probably in her room.”

Rui sighed in relief. “At least everyone else is accounted for. Hopefully they’ll start making their way to the stage when they’re done searching. Where do you think Tsukasa-kun and KAITO could be though?”

“Hmm… I think the only spot we haven’t checked is backstage.” Nene replied.

“Let’s go there then.” Rui replied. “It’s a little big back there, but we should find something, even if it’s just a clue to their whereabouts.”

The trio entered the main tent, noticing MEIKO lying limp on stage. Rui rushed over, landing painfully on his knees, shaking MEIKO’s shoulder. “MEIKO?”

MEIKO never reacted, her breathing deep and even, well and truly asleep.

“She’s not waking up?” Emu asked. “She’s not all kira kira like she normally is and now this?”

“This isn't good.” Nene commented. “Do you think this is related to that pull she mentioned?”

Rui frowned, grabbing a nearby pillow and putting it under MEIKO’s head. “If that’s the case, we’re likely working on limited time until it gets us too. We have to make sure the others get back here before we explore backstage. We don’t want someone getting hurt because they collapsed outside.”

“Oh, I see Miku-chan!” Emu cried, pointing to the entrance of the tent.

Miku entered, ears and tail drooping, looking worn down, carrying a blue bear plushie and a green bunny plushie in her hands. “I found these two like this.” She said, too tired to keep up her usual amount of energy, noticing MEIKO. “Did it get MEIKO-san?”

Rui gave a grave nod. “We likely have limited time before it gets the rest of us. I have a feeling it may have something to do with Tsukasa-kun and KAITO’s disappearances.”

Miku climbed onto the stage, sitting the two plushies with the others. “This isn’t good… This has been happening ever since Sekai went dark. Rui-kun, what happened to them…?”

“I’m not sure, Miku-chan.” Rui replied. “Let’s wait for the others to get back. Then we can search backstage.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The three remaining members of Vivid BAD SQUAD were startled by the cafe door slamming open, Miku carrying an unconscious Len.

“M-Miku-chan?!” Kohane cried, alarmed. “L-Len-kun?!”

Miku sat Len in a chair, Len’s body immediately slumping. “I found him passed out in an alleyway. I thought maybe he’d just forgotten to go home and fallen asleep, but it looks more like him dropping mid practice. His equipment was scattered everywhere. He’s not reacting to anything at all. I tried everything I could to wake him up, and he’s not waking up.”

Akito scowled. “Does the cafe have any futons?”

“MEIKO’s room is in the back hallway.” Miku replied. “She probably has some in her closet since we’ve stayed over here from time to time. It’s the door on the right.”

“I’ll go get one.” An replied, rushing off behind the counter to MEIKO’s room.

“MEIKO-san mentioned something affecting Sekai.” Kohane began. “Do you think that’s what got Len-kun? And if so, does that mean it got MEIKO-san too?”

Akito frowned. “Oi, An!” He shouted.

An popped her head out of MEIKO’s room, futon in hand. “Yeah?!”

“Check on MEIKO! We need to know if she’s in the same condition as Len!”

“Got it!” An dragged the futon out of the closet and laid it out on the floor before moving to the breakroom. She nudged the door open, going over to the couch, shaking MEIKO’s shoulder. “MEIKO?” She frowned when she got no response, leaving the breakroom and shutting the door behind her, going back to the front of the cafe. “MEIKO’s in the same condition. I’ve got the futon out in her room though, so let’s get Len back there and comfortable. Akito, can you carry him?”

Akito nodded, picking Len up in a bridal carry, letting Miku lead the way to MEIKO’s room. He entered, finding the futon and quickly set Len down on it, putting a blanket over him.

Miku sat down on MEIKO’s bed, frowning. “I’m going to keep an eye on Len. I’ll try my best to stay awake so this doesn’t get me as well, but you guys need to find the others.”

“R-Right!” Kohane replied, somewhat overwhelmed by the situation in front of her.

“If that’s the case, let’s get moving.” Akito commanded. “We don’t have all day, especially with people beginning to drop like flies. We need to find the others, and quickly.”

Wait… something, something

What was the line?

Seems the second act just…

Slipped my mind…

Like a deer stuck peering at a blinding light:

I’m petrified

Chapter Text

Nene sighed for what seemed like the millionth time as Rui paced yet another lap around the front of the stage. So far Luka had arrived, but they were still waiting for Rin and Len. “Rui, they’ll get here eventually, but pacing around is only going to fuel the panic.”

Rui paused, then immediately went back to pacing. “How can I not?!” He was this close to pulling at his hair, so he was trying to keep himself moving so he wouldn’t give into the urge. “Tsukasa-kun and KAITO are missing, the Sekai’s gone dark, and now everyone’s dropping like flies!” 

“I know that, but do you want to fall to this thing next?! The more active you are, the quicker you’ll get tired, and the more chances this thing has of getting you!” Nene retorted, pausing the game she was playing and setting her phone down.

“R-Rui-kun, Nene-chan, let’s not fight!” Emu cried. “But, Rui-kun, Nene-chan’s right. We don’t want it getting you because you were panicking.”

Rui sighed, moving back to the girls. “Fine. Fine… But I’m at least allowed to tug on my shirt. I need to do something with my hands or else I’ll end up pulling my hair.” No one objected, so Rui sat next to Nene and Emu, tugging and tugging and tugging on his shirt until Emu eventually reached over, grabbing Rui’s hand. “E-Emu-chan?”

Emu grabbed her rainbow slug out of her bag, handing it over to Rui. “Here, this way you don’t ruin your shirt!”

Rui couldn’t fight the logic in that, so he thanked Emu, switching to fidgeting with the slug. Rin and Len haven’t shown up yet… Are they okay? It hasn’t gotten them has it? What if it did get them? What do I do then? Where are they? Did something happen to them? If something did, could I have prevented it? Could I have prevented everything that happened? Could I have-

“Luka-san, I need help!”

Luka jolted, looking to find the source of the noise. She gasped when she saw Len supporting a barely conscious Rin, and she and Miku jumped off the stage, rushing to Len’s aid. Together, the trio got Rin onto the stage and laid down beside MEIKO, Rui frowning. 

“It’s gotten Rin too…” He muttered. “Just how many more will it get?”

“What happened to Rin-chan?” Len asked, distress showing through his exhaustion.

“MEIKO mentioned a pull of some kind.” Nene replied. “It’s wiped out some of the plushies, as well as herself, and now Rin. Once someone falls asleep, they don’t wake up again. We’re starting to think that Tsukasa and KAITO going missing has something to do with the Sekai going dark and, consequently, everyone being drowsy like this and collapsing randomly. We’re on a time limit here. If we can’t find them before all of us collapse, I don’t think anything good will come of it.”

“We’ve been waiting for everyone to arrive before we explore backstage.” Rui explained. “It’s the only possible place where Tsukasa-kun and KAITO could be since they’re nowhere else. We just didn’t want to start exploring before everyone arrived in case someone collapsed somewhere outside and got themselves hurt. At least if someone goes down here, it’ll be safer with people around.” He stood up, Nene and Emu following his example. “Let’s get going.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Akito huffed, kicking a small stone further down the alley. They’d been led to where Len passed out by Miku’s directions before they left Crase Cafe, but there wasn’t anything substantial to go on for why KAITO and Toya had disappeared. “Damn it!”

Kohane jumped, startled by Akito’s outburst. “S-Shinonome-kun?!”

Akito sighed. “Ugh… Sorry, Kohane. I’m just frustrated that there’s no clues.”

“I understand the feeling.” An replied, twirling a strand of hair over and over again as she spoke. “Where could Rin, Luka, KAITO and Toya be?”

“M-Maybe Rin-chan or Luka-san is at the park?” Kohane suggested. “Rin-chan does like scanning the flowers with that app on her phone, so maybe she’s there.”

“Great thinking, Kohane!” An cheered. “Let’s head for the park and see if anyone’s there!”

The trio took off running for the park, skidding to a stop when they arrived, noticing Luka dozing off on the park bench.

Akito ran over, shaking Luka awake.

“H-Huh?!” Luka exclaimed, startled. She looked around, noticing the trio. “Akito, An, Kohane? When did you get here? When did I fall asleep? Have you found KAITO? Where’s Toya?”

“We got here a while ago.” Kohane replied. “We found MEIKO-san dozing off in the cafe, so we took her to the breakroom. Then Miku-chan burst in with Len-kun after she found him passed out at his practice spot. MEIKO-san had mentioned a pull of some kind before, and we figured out that’s what got Len-kun after Miku-chan couldn’t wake him up. An-chan checked on MEIKO-san and because MEIKO-san fell asleep, the pull got her as well. If we wouldn’t have woken you up, it would’ve gotten you as well. We still need to find Rin-chan, and then find KAITO-san and Aoyagi-kun.”

Luka took in the information, frowning. “I see Sekai’s still dark as well.” She checked her phone. “And it’s not night time, meaning the Sekai going dark likely has to do with KAITO’s disappearance. Probably Toya’s as well.”

“All of us are getting more exhausted the longer we stay here.” Akito grumbled. He’d always been more irritable when he was tired, so he wasn’t pleased at being perpetually exhausted. “Travelling as a group will help us keep each other awake, but we’re on a timer. If we can’t find them before it gets us, there’s no stopping whatever’s happening.”

“I have an idea… but I can’t believe it happened if it’s true…” Luka muttered.

“You know what happened?” An asked. “Well, spill! What is it?”

Luka frowned. “You won’t like it. The feeling I have is the same feeling I’m getting from my Wonderland counterpart. An, Akito, Kohane, have you ever been told about goodnights?”

“Goodnights?” Kohane asked, confused. Her expression grew worried when she saw the expressions of An and Akito darken. “An-chan? Shinonome-kun?”

“Yeah… We know of them.” Akito finally settled on, tone bitter. “KAITO told us. Separately, but he told us at our lowest points. He told me after that disaster with Arata, and he told An after we found out Nagi passed.”

“What are goodnights?” Kohane asked. “They don’t sound good.”

“They’re a double edged sword, in a sense.” Luka replied, standing up and beginning the walk with the group to try to find Rin. “A goodnight occurs when a Sekai Creator is tired of what’s happening to them in their life and wants to escape. They go to the one in their Sekai who can grant the goodnight, and they get it. The song is stopped, and their world doesn’t move on. However, they go missing in the real world, and it starts to affect the Sekai as well. The more people involved in the goodnight, the stronger the effect it has on everyone else who inhabits that Sekai. If the person or people in the goodnight aren’t ripped from the ideal dream world that makes up their goodnight, the Sekai will slumber forever, and the person will be missing forever in the real world, unless they heal enough to wake up from the dream on their own.”

An and Kohane gasped in horror, Kohane looking particularly distressed.

“So… KAITO-san… Aoyagi-kun… That’s why they could be missing?” Kohane asked, voice shaking.

“Unfortunately, that’s probably our most likely option. KAITO’s always been different.” Luka explained. “You’ve seen how he is. Well, due to that, he got the ability to give out goodnights. Likely a way to counteract the differences in how he’s treated if he so chooses. He can’t use it on himself though. He can only use it on a Sekai Creator. We need to find Rin, and then we have to find where KAITO’s moved to this time. That’s probably where we’ll find him and Toya.”

“So, KAITO moves around as sporadically as you do?” Akito asked gruffly.

“It’s a bit different from me.” Luka admitted. “I explore, sure, but I’ve always stayed in the same apartment. It seems like every month or less, KAITO’s got a new place. I’ve noticed a worrying trend. Every fight or time he gets in trouble, he moves somewhere else, and we sometimes don’t find his new place for weeks as a result of that. By the time we do find a place, he’s already moved on again.”

KAITO’s never seemed like the type to move around so frequently… An thought. With him being a DJ, you’d think he’d prefer a stable place for his equipment instead of lugging it around everywhere he goes anytime he goes to a new spot? And why only when he gets into a fight or gets in trouble? Is there something we’re missing here? KAITO, what’s going on with you…?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rui shuddered, clutching his flashlight just a little bit tighter.

Emu shuddered as well, moving a costume out of the way. “Geez… Backstage feels less kira kira and more womp womp and scary in the dark…”

“I’ve never seen backstage in the dark.” Len admitted, huddling close to Luka and Miku, rubbing his eyes. “The lights are usually always on, even at night. How are we supposed to navigate our way to the hallway with our rooms when we can barely see?”

“I think we’re in one of the costume storage rooms.” Luka commented. “We’re probably near the beginning of backstage, and our hallway’s at the end. It’s definitely going to take longer with Rui’s flashlight being the only source of light.

Miku frowned, ears and tail still drooping. She was leaning heavily against Rui, trying to keep herself awake. “I can’t even see in here…” She mumbled, lamenting the fact that her increased vision wasn’t helping her. “This darkness isn’t natural.”

“Miku, you don’t think…” Luka trailed off when she noticed how tired Miku was, Miku’s eyes half shut. “Miku, I need you to try to stay awake for me, alright?”

Miku nodded, rubbing her eyes. “I’m…,” she was cut off by a yawn, “tired though… I wanna sleep…”

“That’s the pull, Miku-chan.” Rui replied. “Try not to give into it if you can. Tap my shoulder if you feel yourself falling asleep, but try to stay awake. We have to get ourselves out of this room. I’m pretty sure we’re in between some racks, so we have to find the door. Why are there so many costumes anyways?”

“Well, we do put on a lot of shows.” Luka replied. “And we need costumes for both us and the plushies, mains and backups in case our main costumes get damaged.” She worked her way through the racks, using Rui’s flashlight as a guide. “I think I see the door up ahead.”

Rui moved his flashlight in the direction Luka indicated, the beam landing squarely on the door. “Yep. That’s the door.” He led the way to the door and back out into the hallway, shining his flashlight down the hallway. “Backstage has never seemed so big when it’s lit, but now that it’s dark, it seems impossibly big.”

Miku’s head slipped off Rui’s shoulder, and she would’ve fallen had Len not caught her. “Miku-chan?” When he got no response, Len panicked. “I think it got Miku-chan!”

Rui frowned, moving his flashlight to shine on Miku.

Miku didn’t react, eyes closed and body relaxed, breathing deep and even. She was deadweight in Len’s grip, the younger struggling to hold her up.

Luka took Miku from Len, frowning. “We’ll have to make her comfortable here. We can’t carry her back to the front in this darkness.”

Len opened the next door down the hall, looking inside the best he could. “I think this is our soft prop room. She should be comfortable here.”

Rui shined his flashlight into the room, the beam landing on a beanbag. “Ah, Len-kun, Luka-san, set her down on the beanbag. After that, we’ll keep going. If I remember right, next up should be the hard prop storage, and then we get to your rooms, correct?”

Luka nodded, helping Len set Miku down on the beanbag in a comfortable position. “That’s right. Once we reach our rooms, it might be safe to stop and take a breather to explain what exactly is happening here.”

“You know what’s going on, Luka-san?” Emu asked. “What is it?”

“Well, I’m not a hundred percent sure, but this is looking more and more like what I’ve heard a goodnight to be like.” Luka replied.

“A goodnight?!”

Tell me when the fog will subside

Please tell me when the fog will subside

Poorly held together condolences

Drowning out the northern lights

Pay more for old advice

Open-eyed, entangled in promises

Buried under dying homes

Hands tied in golden thorns

I’m defined by guesswork analogies

Documenting daily life

Tell me I’ll be alright

Open-eyed, entangled in absentees

Stories of a child’s past

Autopsied broken glass

My aura shines at last

Chapter Text

“Luka-san, just what exactly is a goodnight?” Rui asked. “Is it what’s causing everything that’s currently happening?”

Luka sighed. “Whenever a Sekai Creator becomes tired of everything, they can request a goodnight. It’s a break, but it’s a dangerous one. It lures in all the residents of a Sekai to join the goodnight. If the person who requested it doesn’t wake up on their own, or isn’t woken up by someone else, it becomes eternal. The person will eventually disappear from your world. Memories are retained, but that person no longer plays a role in your world. How long a goodnight lasts is unpredictable. It depends on whether or not there’s people to wake the one who requested it up, and if there’s not, how long it takes for the person to heal inside of the goodnight before they decide to wake up.”

Rui could hear Emu and Nene gasp, but he could barely focus on them right now. He had to learn more. He had to know if that was the situation Tsukasa and KAITO were in. “Could this be…”

“Why Tsukasa disappeared?” Luka asked, finishing Rui’s sentence. “It’s likely, yes. And it’s likely that that’s why we can’t find KAITO or ‘Kasa either.”

“‘Kasa?” Nene asked. “Who’s ‘Kasa?”

“He’s a living manifestation of the feelings Tsukasa had in the worst period of his life.” Luka explained. “He’s small, probably no older than 7 or 8. He’s never told us his true age. Though… until recently, he didn’t do much in all actuality. He’d play with his toys and come out to visit us, but he wouldn’t speak very much. We tried to teach him how to jump to your phones to give him something else to see, but with what was happening with Tsukasa, we couldn’t get him to focus on anything else.”

“So, ‘Kasa-kun is from a time in Tsukasa-kun’s life when everything was womp womp?” Emu asked, looking worried.

“Correct.” Luka replied. “I have a feeling that he, KAITO, and Tsukasa are the ones responsible for the goodnight. KAITO and Miku both have that power, but Miku’s never done anything with it since her primary job is to help cheer you four up at the moment something sad is occurring when we’re aware of it.” She led the way out of the room, making her way down the hall. “We don’t have much longer before we reach the bedrooms. Only a couple of minutes. We don’t need to go into the hard prop storage room.”

Len rubbed his eyes, unseen from his position at the back of the group with how unnaturally dark it was backstage. “Is it… safe for us to rest?”

“It should be as long as we don’t fall asleep.” Rui replied. “But that’s looking more and more unlikely. It’s getting harder for me to keep going. Now’s usually the point where I’d either set down my work or pass out at my desk, so it’s hard for me to keep going.”

“It’s getting to all of us.” Nene replied. “It may be best for those of us who are the most exhausted to stay behind. I don’t like it, but it’s beginning to look like the only option we have.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This is Rin’s favorite spot.” Luka explained as she led the group deeper into one of the alleys. “It breaks open into a few music shops, and she mainly practices here in case her equipment breaks, since she can easily replace it around here if it does.”

“How high of a chance are we taking here?” Akito asked.

“We’ve searched all of her other spots.” An reminded Akito. “It’s highly likely we’ll find her here. If we don’t, then not only do we have to look for KAITO’s apartment, but we have to look for Rin’s place as well.”

Luka scanned the area in front of her as she walked into the plaza with the music stores, frowning. “We’ll have to split up and search the stores.”

“Is that safe?” Kohane asked, worried despite the exhaustion currently weighing down on her.

“Not necessarily, but we have no choice. Someone needs to stay with Rin if they find her and she’s succumbed.” Luka explained. “Let’s all meet back up here in about… ten minutes. If anyone doesn’t show up, we’ll have to assume they’ve succumbed to the pull. We can’t waste energy when we still have to find KAITO and Toya.”

The trio nodded, splitting off from Luka, Akito searching on his own while An and Kohane went together.

The Vivids stepped into an equipment store, noticing how the equipment was mostly geared toward electronic music production. 

“Do you think Rin could’ve come here?” An asked Kohane. 

“Rin-chan did mention she wanted to get her own mixing equipment.” Kohane commented. “So she could’ve. This store is a little big though. She could be anywhere in these aisles.”

“Right then. Let’s split up.” An replied. “Kohane, you take the front half, and I’ll take the back half. It’ll be quicker that way.”

“O-Okay, but call out if you find anything.” Kohane replied before walking off to one of the aisles in the front, peering down it and moving on to the next one when she didn’t see anything unusual as An moved to the back.

An peered into the back aisles, gasping when she saw Rin crumpled on the floor in an aisle filled with laptops, likely having fallen to the pull when standing up. She raced over, landing painfully on her knees and taking Rin’s head, cradling it in her lap. “Kohane! I found Rin!”

Kohane raced over, landing on her knees beside An. “How is she?!”

“The pull’s already gotten her.” An replied grimly. “We should probably find somewhere more comfortable to set her rather than leaving her crumpled in this aisle. At this rate… it might be best if we give into the pull ourselves and let Akito and Luka handle everything. I know it doesn’t sound ideal… but we can’t stay awake forever. At least by choosing when to sleep, we have the comfort of knowing we’re still together, even in the grasp of this goodnight.”

Kohane frowned, looking at the ground, thinking. I don’t want to give up so easily… but An-chan may be right. This pull will get us eventually, and I’ve gotten so tired I keep zoning out. I’m sure she’s the same. And… I think I like the thought of knowing she’s still here with me better than I do not knowing that when I give in. “Alright. Let’s get ourselves settled somewhere a little more comfortable.”
An picked Rin up, her and Kohane making their way through the aisles. “Since this is a shop, there should be a breakroom somewhere back here. Let’s find that.”

Kohane nodded in agreement, scanning the back wall for any sign of an entrance into an employee only area. “Will we all fit on whatever’s in there?”

“We’ll make it work.” An replied, quickening her pace when she noticed the door into the back. “Ah, here it is. Kohane, mind getting that for me?”

Kohane opened the door, letting An through before slipping in behind. “Hmm… The couch does look big enough to hold all of us at once.” The breakroom was surprisingly pleasing to look at, a nice, dark brown leather couch on the left and right walls, a large chabudai in the center, and a counter with a microwave and coffee maker sitting on it against the back wall, a sink installed into the counter and a fridge and freezer unit installed to the right of the counter.

The duo walked over to the couch, An carefully depositing Rin on the center of the couch before sitting down to Rin’s left, Kohane sitting down to Rin’s right.

“Hey, An-chan?” Kohane asked, nervous.

“Hm?” An replied, making herself comfortable, taking Rin’s left hand in the process.

“Do you think we’ll ever wake up?” Kohane asked. “I’m a bit scared that we won’t…” She took Rin’s right hand, also making herself comfortable. 

“We have to believe in Luka and Akito.” An replied. “They’ll do what they do best, and we’ll all wake up. Even if it’s not right away, we will. And with time being practically paused in Sekai at the moment, I doubt a lot of time will pass in our world.” She closed her eyes, sighing. “Just… close your eyes if you’re scared, ‘Hane. It’ll pass quicker than if you keep your eyes open.”

Kohane closed her eyes, leaning against Rin. Luka-san… Akito-kun… Please… Help KAITO-san and Aoyagi-kun… Please…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rui opened the door to the first bedroom he saw, blinking in surprise as he swept his flashlight across the room. The room itself had pale blue walls, glow in the dark star stickers stuck all over the ceiling, fairy lights above the bed, which was shoved against the right wall, a white vanity, a wardrobe, and a toy box overflowing with plushies. The bed had a sheet set that had clouds on the sheets and the comforter, and similarly decorated sets were probably in the drawer at the bottom of the wardrobe, if not in the wardrobe itself. “Is this Miku-chan’s room?”

Luka nodded. “She’s always loved cutesy things, so her entire room reflects that. It’s not quite as chaotic as the twins’ room though, since she’s a couple of years older than them.”

Nene led Emu to Miku’s bed, laying down on it. “I think Emu and I need to stay here.” She told the rest of the group. “I’ve noticed we’re pretty close to falling asleep. We keep falling behind.”

Luka studied the girls, saying nothing in protest, turning her attention to Len instead. “Len, you should stay here as well. You’re practically dead on your feet.”

Len didn’t seem like he’d heard Luka at first, eventually giving a delayed nod and trudging his way over to the bed, sitting down against it.

Rui sighed, leaning against the wall, turning his flashlight off for the time being to save battery. “Tsukasa-kun… KAITO-nii…”

Luka looked over in Rui’s general direction, sadness evident on her face. “You miss them, don’t you?”

“I do.” Rui confirmed. “And… I can’t help but hate myself for not noticing the signs. They were right there, so how did I miss them?!”

“I have a feeling that even if you saw the signs, Tsukasa and KAITO would’ve brushed it off as nothing anyway.” Luka replied with a frown. ‘Kasa couldn’t hide it, and all we could do was try our best to make him happy, but Tsukasa and KAITO were capable of hiding it. I just… never thought it would come to this. I feel like I miss the happy times by sleeping, but I just can’t keep myself awake when things are calm. When everyone’s a mess, when emotions are charged and tensions are high, that’s when I’m able to keep going.” Luka messed with her dress as she spoke, fidgeting with some of the accessories on it.

“‘Kasa-kun… How was he manifested anyway?” Rui asked.

“He’s always been here.” Luka admitted. “Ever since this place was formed, he’s been here too. Tsukasa may try to forget his negative memories, and may try not to be negative, but ‘Kasa will always exist as a reminder and manifestation of those feelings. There’s a chance that ‘Kasa can learn what happiness feels like but…” She trailed off.

“It all depends on Tsukasa-kun.” Rui replied.

“Yes.” Luka said with a nod. “Tsukasa needs to recover in order for ‘Kasa to experience happiness, but with Tsukasa’s defense mechanism being to forget the bad things that’s happened to him, that opportunity has never come around.”

Rui pushed himself off the wall, turning his flashlight back on, noticing that Nene, Emu, and Len were all now asleep. “Well, since he’s responsible for this goodnight, I doubt Tsukasa-kun has been able to forget recently. Whatever pushed him to this… it wasn’t something he could forget easily. We should keep going. You said ‘Kasa’s room is at the end of the hall, right?”

“Right.” Luka replied, following Rui out of Miku’s room, leaving the door open behind her. “It’s the only hidden place here, so it’s the only place those three could be.”

The duo made their way down the hall, stopping in front of the door at the end. Luka tried the doorknob, cursing when it only jiggled. “They must’ve locked the door. How are we meant to get it open now?”

“Can you hold the flashlight, Luka-san?” Rui asked, handing the flashlight to Luka. “I’ve got a pocket sized toolkit I always carry around for delicate repairs. It has a lockpick on it, so I may be able to get the door open that way.”

Luka nodded, taking the flashlight from Rui, watching as he dug the toolkit out of his pocket and got out the lockpick, working it into the lock. 

“This may take a few minutes, so I’m going to need you to keep me awake if it looks like I”m starting to fall asleep.” Rui explained. “We’ll never get in there if I go down before the door’s open.”

“Right. Just be careful. We don’t know what the other side is like.” Luka reminded the purple haired teen, watching as he worked. She felt exhausted herself, slumping against the wall, but she knew she had to hold on until Rui had the door open.

Rui jiggled the lockpick around, testing different combinations. He didn’t notice when he started slowing down, the time between his blinks becoming longer, a yawn escaping his mouth. He wanted to rest. Just, please, let him- “H-Huh? Luka-san?”

“You were about to fall asleep.” Luka commented, moving the flashlight so it was shining on the door and not in Rui’s face. “How close are you to having the door open?”

“I’m relatively close.” Rui replied. “It’s a simple lock, so I should… Aha! There we go!” Rui heard the lock click and he pulled the lockpick out, putting it in his kit and putting his kit back in his pocket before opening the door, turning to face Luka. “Luka-san?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Akito and Luka found themselves the only ones who met up back in front of the shops, Akito frowning as he realized what happened. “An… Kohane… They fell to it, didn’t they?”

“They must have.” Luka replied. “Since they’re not here, that’s the only logical option.”

Akito cursed, kicking a rock before sighing. “This goodnight thing is really starting to piss me off… Why did Toya think choosing this was better than talking to me?! His partner?!”

Luka went over to Akito, grabbing his wrists to keep him from punching the nearby wall. “Whatever Toya’s going through, it’s likely extreme… Sometimes, when something extreme happens, you don’t think about telling anyone what happened and getting help. You just run. I think that’s what Toya did.” She sighed, only letting go of Akito once she was sure he wouldn’t try to punch anything, beginning the walk to find KAITO’s apartment. 

“What could’ve been so extreme that Toya’s only choice was to run?” Akito asked, falling in step behind Luka. “He never mentioned any new issues with his dad.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know.” Luka replied. “I never saw Toya before the goodnight took effect. I don’t know what happened or what could’ve been going through his head at the time.” She paused, coming up to a split in the alleyways. “Hmm… I’m not so sure it’s a good idea for us to split up. Which way should we go?”

“I’ve heard if you’re stuck in a maze, you always want to go right, so we should take the right path.” Akito took the lead, stepping into the right alley, shuddering. “It almost feels like something’s pressing down on you here…”

“It does. I think that may be the goodnight’s pull.” Luka admitted. “I think we may find KAITO’s current apartment if we follow the pull.”

“Won’t that put us to sleep though?” Akito asked, eyebrow raised.

“The pull will eventually put us to sleep, yes, but we’ve fared well so far, so I think our only option is to follow as it increases in strength.” Luka replied. “If we don’t follow it, we could end up collapsed in some random alley instead, and then no one will be able to save Toya.”

“Geh… You have a point.” Akito replied, grimacing. “But I still don’t like this exhaustion weighing down on me…” Toya… What could’ve happened for you to take such drastic action…? What was going through your head at the time? Did something happen with your old man? How come you never told me…? I’m your partner, was that not enough? Was it my fault?

Luka noticed how lost in thought Akito was since she was practically pulling him along at this point, though she grew alarmed when she saw the light in Akito’s eyes dim, noticing the self-hatred radiating off of him, so she shook the red headed teen, not even flinching when he jolted.

“Luka? What…?”

“It’s not your fault, Akito.” Luka said firmly.

Akito’s eyes widened before his expression settled into a scowl and he crossed his arms. “You a mind reader or something? Geez…”

“Not a mind reader,” Luka replied, “but anyone could tell you were overthinking this and blaming yourself. I was practically dragging you along until I snapped you out of your head.”

“Ah…” Akito didn’t know what to say, going quiet. He spotted an apartment complex up ahead, a small three story one, shuddering at how much energy was radiating from it. “I think we’ve found it.”

“KAITO’s always preferred high places for where he lives, so we’ll probably find him in the apartment on the third floor.” Luka commented.

“And Toya was okay with that? The guy’s afraid of heights.” Akito replied, opening the door to the complex, he and Luka stepping inside as he felt the exhaustion practically trying to drag him under, his pace slowing against his will.

“I don’t think Toya would’ve noticed the height in his current state.” Luka replied, yawning as her and Akito began climbing the stairs. “We just… have to make it a little further… We’re almost there…”

Akito yawned as well, dragging his feet and barely managing not to trip on the stairs as he opened the door to the third floor lobby, a small little thing with a couple of chairs and a coffee table, a window overlooking the rest of the Sekai below. He collapsed into one chair, vaguely registering Luka collapsing into another. “Phew… We made it up here…”

“Yeah…” Luka trailed off, eyes slipping closed. “Night… Akito…”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a fantastical world, a purple haired teen eyed the barrier he was faced with. In a world filled with vibrant graffiti, a red headed teen stood up from a chair. A purple haired teen slipped through the barrier into the darkness, searching. A red headed teen opened a door, finding a barrier. A purple haired teen found who he was searching for, kneeling beside them. A red headed teen slipped through the barrier, staggering over to the ones who he’d been searching for. A purple haired teen reached out a hand, gently grasping the hand of the one he cared for most. A red headed teen slipped onto a couch, gently putting an arm around the one he cared for most. A purple haired teen and a red headed teen closed their eyes, succumbing to the darkness with faint smiles on their faces. They’d found who they were searching for and now, they could save them.

How many times is it that I’ve given up?

I want to be right, but being wrong is all I’ve done

Now raise your trembling voice and show them your range

Can I break apart?

If I break apart

Would it be okay if things were to change?

How many times is it you’ve lied in your life?

I want to be truthful, but I’m taking comfort in the lies

It seems reality has grown to be “strange”

Can I break apart?

If I break apart

It’ll be okay if things were to change

Chapter Text

“Onii-chan! Wake up!” Tsukasa and Kasa waited outside of KAITO’s door, bouncing in excitement, Tsukasa being the one speaking as he knocked on KAITO’s bedroom door. “You promised you’d take us to the park!” The twin eight year olds could hardly contain their excitement, sporting matching grins. 

After a couple of minutes, shuffling could be heard on the other side of the door and it soon opened, revealing thirteen year old KAITO, who beamed tiredly down at the twins. “Alright, alright, but I see two boys who haven’t even changed out of their pajamas yet. How can we go if you don’t freshen up and eat first?” He asked, knowing that would get their attention.

Kasa looked down at his attire, giving a sheepish grin. “Oops. Sorry, KAITO-nii. We just got excited.”

KAITO chuckled, ruffling Kasa’s hair. “I know you’re both excited to play with Rui-kun, but you both need to get dressed first. What do you want for breakfast in the meantime?”

“Oo, can we have pancakes? Pretty please, onii-chan?!” Tsukasa asked, eyes gleaming as he stared up at his older brother.

“Of course we can, Tsukasa-kun.” KAITO replied. “Now, you and Kasa-kun go get dressed. I’ll get started on the pancakes. He watched as the two boys ran off before walking down to the kitchen, grimacing at the note he saw on the counter. “Ah… Mom and dad went on another business trip… At least they left me money to buy Tsukasa-kun and Kasa-kun’s new uniforms…” He began pulling out the ingredients for pancakes, deciding to put chocolate chips in them as a treat for the twins being good for the week and getting high marks on their recent test on how much kanji they knew. I wish mom and dad would be here to see this though… Oh well, it can’t be helped. They have to make the money to raise three kids somehow, and with them being classical musicians, it makes sense that they travel all over the world. Hmm… Maybe I can call mom later after we get done at the park. It’ll probably be daytime for her and dad then. I have to make sure the boys get their piano lesson today too, but that can wait until we get home. 

KAITO plated the pancakes when they were done, then set the table, pouring himself a glass of grapefruit juice while he poured the younger two glasses of milk. “Tsukasa-kun, Kasa-kun, breakfast is ready!” The rapid pitter patter of feet signalled their arrival, and KAITO knelt in wait, catching Tsukasa as he ran into the room, standing up and swinging him in a circle, Tsukasa’s peals of laughter reverberating through the room before he was set down.

“KAITO-nii! Me next! Me next!” Kasa cried, just as excited as Tsukasa. He squealed when he was picked up, laughing when he was spun, latching onto KAITO when he was set down. “Again, again!”

“Now, now, you two.” KAITO replied with a fond smile on his face. “Eat your pancakes. We only have an hour until we have to meet up with Rui-kun, remember?”

“Okay!” 

The trio of brothers set about eating their pancakes, the twins chatting animatedly while KAITO interjected every so often to remind them not to talk with their mouths full, and to chew their food. 

They’re so much happier now… I’m glad…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tsukasa-kun, Kasa-kun, hi!” Rui called when he spotted the youngest of the Tenmas, running over once he got the okay from his mom. He smiled, revealing his newly missing tooth. “Look, I lost a tooth!”

“Cool…” Kasa breathed. “Did the tooth fairy come?”

Rui nodded. “Yeah, and she left me a whole hundred yen! Mom says she’ll take me to the toy shop so I can get that robot kit I’ve been wanting!”

KAITO watched the interaction briefly before moving to go sit on the bench beside Hiyori. “Hello, Kamishiro-san. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Hiyori is fine, remember?” Hiyori reminded KAITO with a chuckle. “Still, it would be nice if you called me Auntie still.”

KAITO blushed, slightly embarrassed. “Hiyori-san, I’m thirteen now!”

“Still young enough to call me Auntie.” Hiyori teased, ruffling KAITO’s hair. “How have you and your brothers been doing?”

“We’ve been alright.” KAITO replied. “We’re going to get the boys fitted for new uniforms after we’re done here. They’ve already hit a growth spurt, and they’re only eight.”

“Rui needs a new gym uniform since it got ripped beyond repair in an archery accident the other day.” Hiyori explained. “Do you mind us tagging along?”

“Not at all.” KAITO replied. “Tsukasa-kun and Kasa-kun would love to have you two join us. They really like Rui-kun, you know, Hiyori-san.”

“I’m glad they do.” Hiyori admitted. “Rui has been seeming lonely lately, but it’s nice to remember and remind him that he still has you Tenmas he can hang out with.”

“It’s not easy being a genius.” KAITO replied. “I’ve had similar issues. But I talked to my parents the other night, and they recommended a school for us to transfer to and said I should talk to you about it for Rui next time I saw you.”

“Oh?” Hiyori asked. “What school did they recommend?”

“Nada.” KAITO replied. “It has an elementary, junior high, and high school, and its curriculum excels in the arts and sciences, among other curriculum bases. It would give us a chance to improve our classical music skills, and I believe Rui-kun may like getting to know others who share similar interests as him.” He looked out at the three young boys, who were playing tag, before turning his attention back to Hiyori. “Mom said she could get the papers around and get everything sent to you so you could take care of everything, regardless of if Rui-kun agrees or not. She just needs to know how many copies to email you.”

“This is very kind of your mother to be thinking about Rui as well.” Hiyori said. “I’ll have a talk with Osamu tonight about it, see what he says, and then we’ll talk to Rui.”

KAITO beamed, pleased he’d been useful. “That’s great! I’m calling mom later on today so I’ll let her know what you’ve said.” He was startled by a wail, he and Hiyori looking around to find the source of the noise. He grimaced when he saw it was Tsukasa, wobbling over with blood on his knee.

Tsukasa hiccuped, tears streaming down his face. “O-Onii-chan, A-Auntie, it hurts!”

“Ah, it’s just a little scrape.” KAITO observed, picking Tsukasa up and setting him on his lap. “Here, how about you hold my hand while Hiyori-san works her magic?”

Tsukasa sniffed, but nodded anyway, reaching out and taking hold of KAITO’s hand, watching Hiyori dig out the first aid kit she always brought to these playdates. 

“This may sting a little, so try to be brave for me, okay?” Hiyori asked Tsukasa, pulling out an antiseptic wipe and gently maneuvering the leg of Tsukasa’s shorts out of the way of the top of the wound before beginning to clean it.

Tsukasa whimpered, and he barely refrained from kicking in protest, understanding he was only being helped, even if it hurt. After a few minutes, he noticed Hiyori pull away, setting the antiseptic wipe on the bench. 

“Alright. I just need the antibiotic cream and then a plaster, and you’ll be all good.” Hiyori commented, rooting around in the first aid kit.

“R-Really?” Tsukasa hiccuped, not noticing the worried glances Kasa and Rui were shooting in his direction.

“Really. How about after I’m done patching you up, I take you, Rui and your brothers to get some ice cream before we all go for your new uniforms. My treat.”

“H-Hiyori-san, I can pay, really…” KAITO spluttered.

“None of that.” Hiyori replied as she wiped the antibiotic cream on Tsukasa’s knee. “You’re my nephews, and you already do so much for your little brothers, KAITO, so let me do something for you this time, alright? Take the time to spend the day enjoying being thirteen. You’re only a teenager once, after all.”

KAITO thought things over, considering the situation from all angles. Well… She is offering… And she’s right, I should enjoy being a teenager before I enter high school in a couple of years… Plus, Tsukasa, Kasa, and Rui are happier than I’ve ever seen them right now. Who am I to end that? “Alright. Thank you, Hiyori-san.”

“No need to thank me.” Hiyori replied, applying a plaster to Tsukasa’s knee. “There, all finished. How’s it feel, Tsukasa?”

Tsukasa considered things for a moment before beaming, wiping his tears away with his sleeve. “Lots better! Thanks, Auntie!”

“You’re very welcome.” Hiyori replied. “Here, why don’t you throw these away for me and tell your brother and Rui what we’re doing, and then we’ll stop by the ice cream shop on the way to get your uniforms.”

Tsukasa nodded, taking the trash and carefully running over to the park’s trash can, throwing the trash inside before running back to Kasa and Rui. “Kasa-nii, Rui-kun, Auntie said she’d take us to get ice cream!”

Rui and Kasa’s eyes widened as they processed Tsukasa’s words before they broke into matching grins, excited. 

“Let’s go, let’s go!” Rui cheered, running off to KAITO and Hiyori, who were packing up the things they’d brought with them.

“A-Ah, Rui-kun, wait up!” Kasa called, he and Tsukasa running off after Rui, coming to a stop in front of the bench.

“Sorry!” Rui replied. “Mom, mom, can we go yet?!”

Hiyori chuckled at Rui’s antics. “Yes, we can go, but remember, hold my hand when we’re on the street, alright?”

Rui gleefully nodded, the prospect of ice cream too tempting for him to risk getting himself into trouble.

“Tsukasa-kun, Kasa-kun, the same goes for the two of you, alright?” KAITO asked the two younger Tenmas.

“Okay!” The twins replied, leading the way out of the park. The group stopped when they got to the entrance, the three youngest boys taking Hiyori and KAITO’s hands before the group set off.

Tsukasa, Kasa, and Rui chattered excitedly the whole way there. KAITO watched, herding the group of kids into the ice cream shop, looking at the menu. “Alright, you three, tell the nice man what you want.”

“You all can have two scoops.” Hiyori commented, pulling her purse out of her wallet. “I’ll take two scoops of matcha, please. KAITO?”

“Hmm… I’ll have a scoop of cookies and cream and a scoop of cherry blossom, please.” KAITO said, turning his attention to the three young boys. “Tsukasa-kun? Kasa-kun? Rui-kun?”

“Chocolate, please!” Tsukasa exclaimed, barely remembering to use his inside voice.

Kasa stood on his tiptoes, looking in at the cooler filled with giant tubs of different flavored ice cream. “Can I have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of strawberry, please?”

Rui followed Kasa’s example, standing on his tiptoes to see into the cooler. “Grapefruit, please!”

“Alright, that’ll be three hundred yen.” The clerk replied after totalling up the order.

Hiyori got into her wallet, pulling out the correct amount of bills before handing them to the clerk. She took the ice cream as it was served, handing each cone to its respective owner.

KAITO took his ice cream with a smile, watching the trio of eight year olds already making messes of their faces as they started eating, though he soon gained a wistful look on his face. Rui doesn’t seem to be aware… Good… Tsukasa and Kasa aren’t aware that they’re inside the goodnight, but I can tell they’re not ready to leave yet. Let’s hope Rui stays unaware. I don’t want to have to take drastic action… Not when we’re finally getting our happy ending.

So, after all these years

They remained a form of art

‘Cus they had problems from the start

Though they acted on a dare,

There’s nothing stopping them, so beware,

These are people too fearless to die out,

Though they’ll never escape from the rise

Now…

Chapter Text

Toya came to a stop, panting. He turned to face KAITO, excited. “KAITO-nii, KAITO-nii, how did I do?!”

“You did great, Toya!” KAITO replied, the fifteen year old hopping down from the low wall he’d been sitting on as he watched Toya attempt the choreography they’d decided on for Ifuudoudo. He went over to Toya, ruffling his two toned hair. “You’ll do great at our event this weekend.”

“Really?” Toya asked, the twelve year old boy almost beaming at the praise. “Do you think father will be happy if we show this to him?”

“I’m sure.” KAITO replied. “We may not be following classical music like our elder brothers, mother, or father, but didn’t you see how father’s eyes were practically glowing when he saw us on stage for the first time?!”

Toya nodded. “Mother was so happy, she ended up bursting into tears and father had to calm her down. Man… I don’t think she’s ever hugged me that hard in her life.”

KAITO chuckled. “I’m sure it’ll happen again if she comes, since we’ve got Fragile on our set list.”

Toya chuckled as well, remembering how the entire incident had stemmed from what Fragile was about, gaze straying to look up at the branches of the sakura trees gently swaying in the wind. “That boy approached me again.” He admitted, smiling. “He said we were cool. He’s been practicing around here too.”

“Akito?” KAITO asked. “He’s your age, isn’t he?”

“He’s still eleven.” Toya replied. “He’s gonna be twelve the day of our event.”

“Really now? Have you picked out a present for him?”

“K-KAITO-nii!” Toya exclaimed, embarrassed. “I’ve only ever spoken to him in passing! How am I supposed to know what to get him?!”

“He hangs out at Weekend Garage as well, right? Regularly, in fact?” KAITO asked.

“Well, yes…” Toya replied. “But what’s that got to do with things?”

“Well, we can ask Ken what kind of things Akito likes.” KAITO explained. “Do you think that might help you decide?”

Toya looked down, thinking about the situation at hand. Akito has been really nice to me these past few weeks… And I liked when we went to the arcade, even if he wasn’t good at the crane games. It’s true that he’s a regular just like we are, so Ken may very well know some things he likes. The only things I know so far is he likes running, fashion, and has a big sister. Wait, fashion… that’s it! “KAITO-nii, I think I have an idea!”

“Oh?” KAITO asked, eyebrow raised as he adjusted his headphones to sit more comfortably around his neck, having brought his laptop along to mix a new song while Toya was practicing choreography. “What did you come up with?”

“Well, Akito likes fashion, right?” Toya began. “Why don’t we ask Ken what brands Akito likes? I’ve noticed he likes rings, earrings, and necklaces, but I don’t think I’ve ever figured out what brand of clothes he likes, and he has been admiring my new jacket recently too.” Toya was currently sporting said new jacket, a simple black hoodie with a depiction of blue flames on the back.

KAITO pulled out his phone, beginning to type. “In that case, why don’t we go there now that we’re done with practice?” He finished typing, sending the text before putting his phone in sleep mode, though he didn’t put it in his pocket yet. “I just texted father to let him know we’re going to Weekend Garage. You’ve still got your phone on you, right?”

Toya checked his pockets, nodding when he felt his new phone. He’d only had it for a couple of weeks, and so was still getting used to not only the phone itself, but also keeping track of it. “I’ve still got it.”

“That’s good.” KAITO replied, leading the way out of the park and to Vivid Street, talking as he walked. “Is there anything you’re still having trouble with?”

“I saw some stickers I’d like, but I don’t know how to download them.” Toya replied. “I also need an email. Kusanagi showed me a game called Genshin Impact, but I need an email to make an account.”

“Alright then.” KAITO commented. “Once we get to Ken’s place, I’ll show you how to download the stickers you want and make an email. I’ve got Genshin Impact myself, so I can show you how to create an account using your email as well.”

“Thank you, KAITO-nii.” Toya replied, opening the door to Weekend Garage, hearing the familiar tingle of the bell as he and KAITO stepped inside.

“Ah, Toya, KAITO, nice to see you two again.” Ken greeted from the counter as the two boys walked inside. “An’s out at the moment, if you’ve come to see her.”

“We just came to get some food.” KAITO replied. “That and ask you a question.”

“Oh?” Ken asked, beginning to prepare KAITO and Toya’s usual meals. “What’s up?”

“I-I wanted to ask what fashion brands Akito likes.” Toya replied, his face dusted with red in his embarrassment. “His birthday’s the day of our next event, and I wanted to get him a present.”

“Ah, well, one of his favorite brands is actually the brand of jacket you’re wearing.” Ken replied. 

“He likes Hika?” Toya asked. “I didn’t know that.”

“He does.” Ken said with a nod. “All of his jackets come from Hika. He’s been eyeing your jacket every time I’ve seen him near you, so that might be a good present for you to give him.”

“Hmm… Do you know his size?” KAITO asked. “I’m supposed to let father know when we’ve decided on a gift so he can tell us a price range of how much we’re allowed to spend.”

“He’s actually one size smaller than you, Toya.” Ken replied. “So you should be able to find a jacket that fits him relatively easily.”

KAITO sent a text off to Harumichi, then pocketed his phone. “Thanks, Ken. You’ve helped us out a great deal.”

“It’s nothing. I’m always glad to help two of my regulars.” Ken replied, plating the duo’s food and setting both the food and the drinks on the counter. “Now, eat up. I know you two just came from a practice session.”

“Thanks, Ken!” Toya and KAITO replied in unison, sporting matching grins before they dug into their meals. They broke into chatter, laughing as they discussed past events, outfit ideas for different songs, and funny choreography fails, like the first time Toya had tried to do a spin. He’d made himself so dizzy attempting it that he’d ended up falling on his butt, the boys getting a laugh out of it once KAITO realized Toya wasn’t badly hurt.

“Hey, Toya, what do you feel about getting some outfits for Fragile?” KAITO asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Fragile? Oh yeah, we don’t have a set outfit for that yet.” Toya replied. “Hm… I saw this cool grey jacket with purple on the inside of the hood that I’d like to have. Maybe I could pair that with one of my nicer shirts and a nice pair of pants. Give off that cool and composed feeling at the same time. The more formalish outfit could reflect being collected, while the jacket can reveal a hint of vulnerability. What do you think?”

“Paired with your favorite necklace, I think it’d look nice.” KAITO commented. “What do you think I should do?”

“You still have your favorite necklace, right? You could wear that, oh, and maybe your soft blue jacket. White shirt, black pants, whatever shoes look good with the outfit, it’d pull off the opposite vibe from me, and yet it’d feel like we were meant to be connected.” Toya replied, taking sips of his strawberry bubble tea as he did so.

“I like your way of thinking. Let’s put them on when we get home and see how they look against each other.” KAITO said as he took a bite of his pancakes. “What do you think, Ken?”

“Well, I can certainly see how the theming behind it would work.” Ken commented. “I’d like to see the outfits once you do decide on them. You’ll do the music video once you’ve decided on them, right?”

“We’ll probably want to practice the choreography again first to make sure we have it a hundred percent, but then we will.” KAITO explained. “It’s hard to believe that we as RAD MELODY have gotten so well known already, and we’ve only been on the scene for a couple of years.”

“Our channel has been growing quite a lot.” Toya commented. “The announcement for Ifuudoudou has gotten a lot of comments and likes already.”

“Well, people are excited to see what you’ll bring out this time around.” Ken said with a laugh, then spotted someone coming into the Garage. “Ah, Akito, welcome! An’s out, but Toya and KAITO are both here.”

“Really?” Akito asked, sporting a gap toothed grin. He ran over to the counter, eagerly hopping onto one of the stools. “Toya, KAITO, hi!”

Toya giggled, though he waited to speak until he’d finished chewing the piece of pancake he had. “Akito, hi! Did you just get done practicing too?”

“Yeah!” Akito replied with a nod. “Dad promised he’d come see our event on my birthday, so I’m trying to make it extra special.”

“What song are you doing?” KAITO asked, curious. 

“I’m gonna do Poltergeist.” Akito replied. “Len sounds really cool in that video, and my singing English is good enough for it, so I wanna try!”

“It’s good to hear you’re trying new songs.” KAITO replied. “Toya and I are doing Ifuudoudou.”

Akito gasped, whirling around in his seat. “You’re already doing your new song?!”

“Well, we’ve been working on it for a while, remember?” Toya commented. “We’ve polished it up enough that we think it’s ready for showing at a live.”

“I can’t wait to see it.” Akito replied. “Seeing your new song at the event? Best birthday ever!”

Ken chuckled, ruffling Akito’s hair as he set a plate with a couple slices of chocolate chip cheesecake on it in front of Akito. “Here, an early treat for the birthday boy.”

Akito gasped, stars seeming to appear in his eyes. “Really? Thanks, Ken!” He eagerly dug into the cheesecake slices, humming at the taste. “This is so good!”

“I take it the new recipe is a keeper then?” Ken asked.

“Definitely!” Akito replied before turning his attention to the two Aoyagi brothers. “KAITO, you said your old man’s letting me stay over tonight, right?”

KAITO nodded. “Mother’s been dying to see you again as well. She even said she’d make curry without carrots for dinner tonight.”

“Curry without carrots? Yes!” Akito cheered. “You Aoyagis sure have a mother that gets me. Carrots are the worst.”

Toya giggled. “Mother says carrots are good for you, but they’re all stringy. I can’t understand why people like them.”

“I know, right?!” Akito exclaimed. “I’d be a very happy kid if we lived in a world where carrots didn’t exist at all. Mom keeps trying to get Ena and me to eat them whenever she makes curry.”

“Well, carrots are good for you kids.” Ken jumped in. “Haha, I can see where you’re coming from though. Even An complains about them.”

“I don’t blame her.” KAITO commented. “Regardless of that, we should get going soon if we want to make it before the last train.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it.” Ken commented, wiping down a different part of the counter. “I’ll swing by Akito’s house so he can grab his things and then take you all to yours and Toya’s house. It’s no trouble for me.”

“Well, if you’re sure, then, thank you.” KAITO replied. “We’ll happily accept that offer.” A sleepover… Hmm… Even though I have all these memories from the goodnight, it’ll be nice to experience a real one. I’m glad Toya’s not aware he’s in the goodnight… He can finally properly be happy… I just wish I wasn’t aware too. Maybe if I immerse myself enough, I’ll forget, and I can be truly happy too…

I loved you.

Even though I loved you.

Here’s what you’re going to do, traitor.

Give back my emotions.

I loved you, even though I love you, forever…

Chapter Text

Rui couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong. He was walking his mom and the Tenma brothers to the uniform shop, but something in KAITO’s current expression bothered him more than he’d like to admit. “KAITO-san?”

KAITO jolted, snapped out of his reverie. “Hm? Is something the matter, Rui-kun?”

The eight year old frowned, messing with a strand of his hair. “You seemed sad…”

“Oh, that?” KAITO replied. “I was just thinking back on when I was little. I was only eight, just like you guys, and Tsukasa-kun and Kasa-kun were three. Our parents took us to the exact ice cream shop we went to before we went to see one of their performances.”

“Really?” Rui asked. Something in him told him that wasn’t all, but he knew he could overthink things sometimes, so he easily pushed it aside, falling deeper into the dream. “I can’t believe so many places can hold memories of the past like that… So is that what you were doing? Reminiscing?”

KAITO nodded. “We frequented this area a lot when I was a child. It feels a bit nostalgic to be the one taking my brothers here now.”

“Your parents are off on an overseas performance trip, right?” Hiyori asked.

“That’s right.” KAITO replied. “Tsukasa-kun and Kasa-kun are still a little too young to go overseas for long periods of time, so I volunteered to stay behind with them and watch them.” That’s not true… They left us with just a note for me again… But I can’t let Hiyori-san or Rui-kun worry about us… We can handle things on our own, just like we always have.

“Mother and father are really cool!” Tsukasa piped up. “I seen a recording of one of their performances once, and they looked really pretty!”

“It’s ‘I saw,’ Tsukasa-kun, remember?” KAITO gently reminded his little brother. “Have you been practicing what your speech therapist taught you?”

“Um… I don’t remember all of it.” Tsukasa admitted. “All of these different tenses are hard…”

Hiyori and KAITO chuckled, both understanding Tsukasa’s struggles from when they were little. 

“Tell you what, how about after your and Kasa-kun’s piano lessons, I’ll help you with the homework your speech therapist gave you.” 

“Really, onii-chan?” Tsukasa asked. “I’d like that.”

“Can you teach me Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?” Kasa asked KAITO, wide, orange-yellow eyes peering right into KAITO’s soul.

KAITO gave a warm, fond smile, ruffling Kasa’s hair. “Of course I can, Kasa-kun, but let’s focus on getting new uniforms for now, alright?”

“Okay! Do you think mine will look different because I’m bigger now?” 

“Hmm… The uniform itself won’t look different, but you could wear a sweater over the top of your shirt instead of a blazer, don’t you think?” KAITO asked. “I know you and Tsukasa-kun absolutely adore those new cream colored sweaters Mother and Father got you.”

Kasa thought about it, trying to picture himself and Tsukasa going to school with sweaters on instead of their blazers. “That’d be really cool! Tsukasa-nii, can we do that?!”

“I don’t see why not, Kasa-nii.” Tsukasa replied. “I think it’d be exciting for us to go to school in matching outfits!”

“Then it’s decided.” Hiyori chuckled. “KAITO can help you two put your uniforms together when you get home, yeah?”

Rui listened, interested. “Mom, can I try that?”

“You want to try that too, Rui?” Hiyori asked, turning her attention to her son.

Rui nodded. “I think it’d be nice. My sweaters are really soft, so I wouldn’t mind wearing one to school.”

“Then I’ll help you pick one out when we get home ourselves, okay?” Hiyori replied, ruffling Rui’s hair.

“Okay! Oh hey, we’re here!” Rui exclaimed, pointing to the shop.

“Ah, Hiyori-san, you don’t mind if us three stay behind, do you?” KAITO asked. “It will take a little longer with both of my brothers needing new uniforms, and I was hoping to preorder our uniforms for Nada.”

“That’s perfectly fine with me, KAITO. Knowing Rui, by the end of this, he’ll be so tired he’ll want to be carried home.”

KAITO chuckled, remembering those days when both Tsukasa and Kasa were younger. “Yes, I suppose he will be.” He opened the door to the shop, holding it open for everyone else to pass through before he stepped into the shop himself. He and Hiyori went up to the clerk, KAITO speaking once the clerk had greeted them. “Hello. I’m here to get the new size uniform for my brothers, as well as preorder uniforms for Nada for us three Tenmas. Rui-kun here also needs the next size up in his current uniform.”

The clerk nodded. “Understood. How long until the transfer to Nada?”

“It probably will be a couple of weeks.” KAITO replied. “Mother and father still have to send the paperwork to Hiyori-san here so she can turn it in for all of us. 

“Very well then. We have some samples of the next size uniform up here for the boys, but we’ll have to do fittings for the Nada uniforms.” The clerk replied.

“That’s alright.” Hinata replied. “We don’t mind, do we KAITO?”

“Not at all.”

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KAITO stepped out of the uniform shop with a bag of uniform pieces in hand, carrying Rui’s since, as predicted, Rui had gotten so tired he wanted carried, the eight year old quickly falling asleep in his mom’s arms. “Are you sure you don’t want me to take him?”

“I’ll be alright until we get to the station.” Hiyori replied. “Besides, you handle the bags, and your brothers look like they could use some sleep too. I’d rather you be able to get home as soon as you can so they can get their nap.”

KAITO turned his attention to Tsukasa and Kasa, noting that Hiyori was right based on how both boys were yawning and dragging their feet as they walked, occasionally rubbing their eyes. “Tsukasa-kun, Kasa-kun, try to stay awake until we get on the train, okay?”

“Okay…” Tsukasa replied, rubbing his eyes. “I’m sleepy though…”

“I know, I know, but we can’t have you fall asleep walking.” KAITO said with a fond smile on his face. “You two can take part of your nap on the train and then finish your nap at home while I make lunch.”

“KAITO-nii…?” Kasa asked, sleepily looking up at his older brother.

“Hm?” KAITO hummed, looking both ways before the group crossed the street.

“Can I sleep on your lap on the train?” 

“I don’t mind.” KAITO replied. “You know that next time though, Tsukasa-kun gets to sleep on my lap on the train.”

“I know…” Kasa mumbled, blearily watching as the train passes were scanned before the group made their way into the station. He made his way in with the rest of the group, standing close to KAITO so he wouldn’t get lost in the crowd.

“I’ll give you Rui’s uniform once we get on the train.” KAITO told Hiyori. “You’re the stop after us, right?”

“That’s right.” Hiyori replied. “As soon as your mom sends me the paperwork for transferring to Nada, I’ll have it filled out for you. And like I said, I’ll talk to Osamu tonight and if he’s also on board with it, we’ll talk to Rui. Rui adores your brothers, so I think if Osamu agrees, Rui will agree as well.”

The group got on the train, finding their seats, KAITO depositing his bags on the seat beside him and setting Kasa on his lap, handing Hiyori her bag, Hiyori setting it between her feet. 

“I’m glad you’re willing to think about it.” KAITO admitted, feeling Tsukasa lean against him as the younger gave into his exhaustion. “Mother will be pleased to hear. I’m going to call her later this evening.”

“Well, I’ve always wanted the best for Rui. So has Osamu, and so, if this is what will be best for Rui, I’m all for it.” Hiyori replied. “You look tired though. I don’t mind you going to sleep. I can wake you up when we get close to your stop.”

“Are you sure?” KAITO asked. “I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you, Hiyori-san.”

Hiyori waved him off. “It’s fine. I know it’s been a long day for you as well, and you’re still growing. Get some sleep. I don’t mind.”

KAITO didn’t answer, turning to lean against the window, being mindful of Tsukasa and Kasa’s positions. He could feel exhaustion tugging his eyelids down, but he didn’t let himself go to sleep just yet. Could Rui be becoming aware of the goodnight? He seems to have bought me using the dream’s memories, but until now he hasn’t brought up anytime I haven’t looked happy, even in the dream’s memories. It could be some of his awake self’s instincts shining through. In that case, I’ll have to be careful… If I’m not, he could become aware, and then we won’t be able to get our rest. We won’t be able to sleep, or to dream in peace. Ugh… It would’ve been so much easier if the dream spared me the grief of being aware of it. At least Tsukasa and Kasa aren’t aware of the dream. I’m glad they aren’t. They’re living their ideal lives, and they’re finally happy. We’re finally happy. That’s all I could really ask for… He felt his eyes close, his surroundings going dark as the rocking of the train lulled KAITO into sleep’s embrace, leaving his worries behind, for now.

We were dreaming, I was chasing after you, but then lost track of you,

It was so frustrating, as only my thoughts remained. The wind was blowing, that’s for sure,

And perhaps you are still there, even now.

I get it now, I can hear you.

No matter the price, you want to return to the place where you cried, right?

So let’s go.

Chapter Text

It was two days before the event, and Toya couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with Akito. For the past couple of days, the boy had been quieter, more reserved, less willing to sing, and it worried him, so he took his worries to KAITO, knocking on his older brother’s door. “KAITO-nii…?”

On the other side of the door, KAITO frowned when he heard how hesitant Toya sounded, standing up from doing his homework and going over to the door, opening it. “Toya? Is something wrong?”

“Can I talk to you?” Toya asked. “Akito’s behavior has been worrying me lately.”

“Akito’s…?” KAITO asked, frowning when he realized what could be up. “Sure, come in. What have you noticed?” KAITO shut the door behind Toya, flopping down on his bed beside the younger.

Toya drew his knees up to his chest, laying his head down on his knees with a huff. “He hasn’t wanted to sing as much, and he’s been really down these past couple days. I asked if something happened between him and anyone else, but he said all of his relationships were still okay…”

KAITO sighed. I’d hoped it wouldn’t have to come to this… Now I have to explain it to Toya… Our goodnight may be ruined… I have to do everything I can to prevent that… “He’s likely becoming aware of our secret.” 

“Our secret?” Toya asked, searching his memory for any secret. “What secret?”

“Our goodnight.”

Toya’s eyes widened when he heard the phrase, and he grimaced when his head began pounding, memories flashing by faster than he could process them. He could vaguely register being moved to lay down properly, letting out a pained whimper. “M-Make it stop…! KAITO-nii…!”

KAITO rubbed Toya’s back, shushing him. “Shh… I can’t stop it, so you’ll just have to let it pass… I’m sorry you had to find out like this…” He continued muttering reassurances until Toya stopped crying out in pain. When Toya had remained silent for a few minutes though, he thought Toya fell asleep, frowning. “Toya? Are you still awake?”

Toya felt too exhausted to speak, so he just nodded, relief coursing through him when KAITO moved him again so his head was in KAITO’s lap.

“The life we’re living now…” KAITO began. “I’m sure you’ve noticed how different it is from the memories you just received… I was hoping you’d be able to remain fully in the dream’s grasp forever, and I could join you one day, but it seems like, somehow, Akito’s becoming aware that this isn’t real life. I’m not entirely sure what he could be experiencing that’s making him become aware. We’ll make ourselves suspicious if we ask so…”

Toya still didn’t really want to talk, but he gripped KAITO’s jacket, forcing himself to speak. “We have to let him come to us… right…?”

“Right.” KAITO replied with a nod. “Knowing how stubborn Akito is in the real world about not showing his emotions, I’m hoping he doesn’t say anything, but at the same time, it’s unlikely that he won’t since he actually has caring parents and a caring sister in this dream.” He sighed, carding a hand through Toya’s hair. “I’m sorry you had to be made aware of the dream this way… I was hoping that I could join you in the dream’s grasp one day, and we’d stay safe within the dream until we were healed enough to return to the real world. But with Akito’s sudden change in behavior… I don’t think we’re going to get that chance…”

“I don’t want to go back…” Toya muttered. “I don’t want to live in a world without Tsukasa-nii… At least here, I have access to him whenever I want since he comes and sees our lives and we have sleepovers and playdates from time to time…” He closed his eyes, relaxing into the soothing sensation of KAITO playing with his hair. 

“And I don’t want to live in a world where I’m constantly shoved aside.” KAITO replied, the light in his eyes dimming as he thought back on the real world. “Heh… I never thought I’d have a breaking point…”

“What was your breaking point…?” Toya muttered. “Why did you suddenly start moving around everywhere…?”

“Well…” KAITO trailed off, reminiscing on that awful day. “There was a fight…”

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“KAITO, that ice cream was for me!” 

KAITO startled at the voice, whirling around in his seat to see Len standing angrily in the doorway. 

“I mean to share that with Rin! How can I do that now if you’ve eaten it?!” Len shouted, tugging at his vest in frustration.

“Ahaha… Sorry, Len… It wasn’t labeled, so I thought it was okay for me to take it.” KAITO explained, a bit sheepish. “I can make some more, if you want.”

“No!” Len shouted. “I’ll get MEIKO to do it when she gets back! I can’t trust you not to eat it anymore, KAITO! You’re always doing this! You always eat our ice cream or are late for mixing lessons, and when you’re not late, you always seem like your mind’s elsewhere! Just what could be so important, huh?!” Len had, admittedly, been frustrated, but he didn’t regret taking that pent up frustration out on KAITO. He’d regret it later, when he learned just how deeply KAITO had been affected by the fight, but at the moment, he didn’t regret it.

“I-I really am sorry!” KAITO replied, a bit surprised at the fact Len wasn’t immediately letting the issue go since KAITO had already apologized. “I can’t help it!”

“You could try!” Len growled, storming up to KAITO and snatching the empty bowl and spoon from KAITO’s hands, tossing them carelessly in the sink, barely avoiding the bowl shattering. “You know you could try!”

KAITO flinched, barely keeping a whimper from escaping as his fight or flight kicked in. “Look, I really am sorry! But… this won’t get anywhere if you just keep shouting at me and don’t hear me out…”

Len went to retort, but paused, realizing KAITO was actually right. “Ugh… fine! But you better shape up! I’m tired of this!” He stormed out of the cafe, the door slamming closed behind him.

KAITO sat in his seat at the counter, stunned. “Is that what he… really thinks of me…?” He slumped, putting his head in his hands. “Am I really nothing but a burden to him…?” KAITO couldn’t bear to be in the cafe anymore, so he stood up, rushing out of the cafe and slamming the door open behind him as he went. All he could think about was running, even when he was already physically running back to his apartment. He didn’t notice the tears streaming down his face, he didn’t even notice when he passed Luka in the distance, even though the pink haired Vocaloid was facing away from him, only concerned with making it back to his apartment as soon as possible. He struggled with the keys, muttering under his breath. “Come on…. Come on… Let me in…!” He finally got his apartment open, flinging the keys in the genkan, not even bothering to take his shoes off.

KAITO felt like he couldn’t breathe in his panic as he collected all his things into boxes, setting them all by the genkan. He grabbed one and raced downstairs and out of the building, going down a few alleys before he found another clearing with more apartment buildings, bursting into the first one he saw and setting the box down in the lobby, finally trying to catch his breath. “I need to move… I need to get everything over here without anyone seeing me… I can’t upset Len anymore if he can’t find where I live…” He trudged out of the building, spending the next several hours moving things between his old apartment and the lobby of the new apartment building, making sure he left no trace of him ever being in the old apartment, cleaning the apartment so it looked like it had never been lived in and returning the keys to their spot at the reception desk before he finally left that apartment building behind. “I have to move everything upstairs but… I need to rest… Just for a moment…”

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“Len later apologized for taking his frustration out on me, but he didn’t seem to really regret it all that much…” KAITO explained, tone flat as he thought back on the fight that started his endless cycle of running. “They didn’t find my new apartment for a couple of weeks. Once they did though, as soon as they left, I ran again. Every time I was found, I picked somewhere else to hide. Eventually, I ended up pretty far out in Sekai, which worked because most of the time, the only ones who would find me would be Luka and sometimes MEIKO.”

“How long was this going on for…?” Toya asked, worried about KAITO. 

“I ran for… I’d say a few months before you decided you wanted a goodnight after some of the people in Wonderland wanted their goodnights.” KAITO replied, frowning. “I just don’t fit in, and that argument proved it.” He sighed, now carding both hands through Toya’s hair, being careful not to tangle or knot it. “It’s… difficult being the odd one out… My brain can’t handle the yelling, but I somehow do stuff that gets me yelled at anyways… I can never understand why everyone always gets mad at me for being late, but I always get lost going long distances… And yet somehow… They’re able to navigate Sekai perfectly… And even when I try to focus on just one thing, I’ve always got two or three things running through my head at the same time… I’ve gotten in trouble for that one too… Mainly when I was giving Rin and Len their mixing lessons…”

Toya hummed in acknowledgement, trying to think of what to say, the fog of relaxation making things difficult as he grew drowsy, but he didn’t want to fall asleep just yet. KAITO sounds so much like me… Social cues… loud noises… All of it… What if…? “I think…” He began, muttering. “I think we’re more alike than we initially thought… Even after Akito helped me come out of my shell, I still struggle with a lot of the same things you do, KAITO-nii…”

KAITO sighed, momentarily stopping his ministrations. “Does that mean…?”

“I likely had the heaviest hand in your appearance, yes.” Toya replied, voice quiet. “Heh… Here I was thinking I hadn’t had an influence on any of you…”

“I guess we were both wrong…” KAITO muttered. “It’s… nice… Having this connection, that is.”

“Yeah… I suppose it is…”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What? Another life?”

Rui nodded. “I keep having dreams of us being taller, but you’re not there, and KAITO’s in a different world.”

Kasa gasped in awe, not noticing the worried looks KAITO was shooting the two as he cooked, Rui having come over for a playdate. It had been a couple of days since they’d all gone shopping. “What else do you see in your dreams? They sound really cool.”

“We’re really popular. Me, Tsukasa-kun, and two girls named Emu-chan and Nene-chan are all part of a troupe at PXL!” Rui cheered. “Apparently, we’re named Wonderlands x Showtime, and we do a lot of shows.”

“Wonderlands x Showtime, huh…” Kasa muttered. “It sounds really cool! Maybe we can make that troupe a reality when we grow up!”

“Yeah!” Rui cheered. “It’d be so cool having a dream like that come to life! And I could use a lot of my ideas for inventions too!”

KAITO listened as the two boys chattered away, though he could tell Kasa knew something was off. He put together four bowls of soup and poured some orange juice in each of the glasses he’d pulled out of the cupboard. He put one bowl and one glass on a tray, putting the rest on the table. “Kasa-kun, Rui-kun, time to eat! I’m going to go give Tsukasa-kun his lunch, so go wash up for me in the meantime, alright?” He picked up the tray, moving toward Tsukasa’s room.

“Okay!” The two boys replied, rushing off to the downstairs bathroom to wash their hands.

KAITO gently knocked on the door to Tsukasa’s room, then pushed it open, stepping in. He turned the light on, though kept it on its dimmest setting so as not to exacerbate the headache he knew Tsukasa likely had right now. “Tsukasa-kun…? Are you awake?”

Tsukasa whined, slowly moving to face KAITO. “Onii-chan…?”

“I brought you some soup and orange juice.” KAITO whispered. He moved to Tsukasa’s nightstand, gently setting the tray down in front of the medications and thermometer sitting on the nightstand. He picked up the thermometer, turning it on before holding it in front of Tsukasa’s forehead, checking the reading when it beeped with a wince. “40… If this doesn’t break, I’ll have to take you to the doctor. I’ll give you a new fever patch in the meantime. For now, what other symptoms are you still having?”

“M-My stomach hurts…!” Tsukasa whined, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “A-And my head too…”

“Alright, that’s okay. I’ll give you some paracetamol before I put the fever patch on your head, alright?” KAITO asked, reaching for the appropriate box. He coaxed Tsukasa into sitting up, handing him the small pills. “Here, I’ll hold your glass for you, okay?”

Tsukasa nodded, taking the pills, letting KAITO bring the glass to his lips, relishing in the soothing feeling of the orange juice washing over his sore throat. He waited patiently as the old fever patch was replaced and a new one put back on, then sat back against his headboard, letting KAITO set the tray of food down on his lap. “Onii-chan…?”

“Yes?” KAITO asked, concerned. “Do you feel like you need to vomit?”

“No… It’s not that…” Tsukasa replied. “But… Are Rui-kun and Kasa-nii mad at me…?”

“Oh… Tsukasa-kun… No… Not at all.”  KAITO replied. “They understand. In fact, Rui-kun brought a present for you. He asked me to bring it to you after he went back home, since I’m currently babysitting the playdate and all.” He stood up, ruffling Tsukasa’s hair. “You just focus on getting better, okay? You can leave the tray on the nightstand when you’re done, and the lightswitch is within your reach, so if you want to go back to sleep, you can turn the light off. I’ll be downstairs, so call if you need me.” KAITO left the room, gently shutting the door behind him before going downstairs, washing his hands before joining the other two younger boys at the table.

“KAITO-nii?” Kasa asked, a worried frown on his face. “Is Tsukasa-nii alright?”

“He’s stable for now.” KAITO replied. “If he gets worse, I’ll call a doctor, but he was awake when I went into his room, so that’s a good sign, isn’t it?”

“Mm… Yeah… I guess it is.” Kasa replied.

“Did you tell Tsukasa-kun about my present?” Rui asked, playing with a strand of his hair. 

KAITO nodded. “I told him I would give it to him after the playdate if he was awake. I don’t want him worrying about you two when he should be focused on getting better. Now, we should all probably eat, or else our food’s gonna get cold, and you don’t want that, do you?”

The two boys gasped, thoroughly distracted, digging into their food. 

KAITO chuckled, but he also dug in, miso soup being one of his favorite foods. It didn’t take him long to finish his food, and he quickly went about gathering the dishes, setting them in the sink before getting into the fridge, pulling out a cheesecake. He set the cheesecake on the counter, getting out some plates, forks, and a pie server, cutting the cheesecake into slices before he set the slices on the plates, putting the remaining cheesecake back in the fridge before carrying the plates and forks back to the table.

“Is that…?” Kasa trailed off.

“Cheesecake!” Rui cheered. “Thank you, KAITO-san!”

“Hehe, I’m glad you’re happy, Rui-kun.” KAITO replied. “Now, I got your favorite, grapefruit cheesecake.”

“Really?! Yay!”

KAITO chuckled as he ate his cheesecake, enjoying the domesticity of it all. He knew he’d have to do things later, like go out shopping for more medicine and give Kasa his piano lessons, plus practice piano himself, but for now, he found himself enjoying the pleasant moment, always one to be happy when his little brothers were happy.

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“Kasa-kun, can I talk to you for a moment?” KAITO asked a few hours later, after Rui had gone home and he’d checked on Tsukasa again.

“Hm? What’s the matter, KAITO-nii?” Kasa asked, stopping the piece he’d been practicing.

“Earlier, with Rui-kun… When he was explaining his dreams, did you notice something…?”

Kasa frowned, slipping off of the piano bench and padding his way over to KAITO. “Mhm.”

KAITO picked Kasa up, taking him over to the couch, sitting down. “What did you notice? You don’t seem too happy about it.”

“He’s becoming aware…” Kasa grumbled. “Him discussing his dreams clued me in to the fact that we’re in our goodnight. You’re probably aware too, judging by the fact you’re asking.”

“I’ve been aware since the start.” KAITO admitted. “It’s due to the fact that I’m the Vocaloid that initiated the goodnight.” He stared at his lap, tightly gripping the legs of his pants. “I wasn’t expecting Rui to start becoming aware.”

“Tsukasa-nii needs this…” Kasa muttered. “I need this. You need this. I don’t want this to end.”

“Neither one of us wants this to end.” KAITO muttered. “This is better for all of us. But how can we stop Rui-kun from becoming aware? How do we stop him from ruining things for Tsukasa-kun?”

“Tsukasa-nii’s not aware yet, right?” Kasa asked.

KAITO shook his head. “He’s slightly delirious with fever, but still unaware. As long as we keep him unaware, this goodnight will still continue.”

“Then, if Rui-kun does become aware, why don’t we just keep him from making Tsukasa-kun aware?” Kasa commented, looking up at KAITO.

“That’s… actually a good idea. I’m the administrator of this goodnight, so I can change things if needed. If Rui-kun becomes fully aware, I can just make it so he can’t get close to Tsukasa-kun unless he’s unaware and back in the dream’s grasp.”

“Then let’s do that.” Kasa replied. “Let’s make sure Tsukasa-nii and us get the rest we deserve. Together.”

“Right.” KAITO said with a nod. “Together.”

Say, to a fusion reactor

I think I want to try diving in

Memories will melt away and disappear into pure white

Say, to a fusion reactor

As I try diving in, then like the old days

I can sleep again

I just had that feeling