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Simmons sat in the meeting room with the other members on red team, giggling as they traded jokes and stories. She couldn’t believe that she was finally getting to be one of the girls! When her team was first assigned to her, she was so nervous to be surrounded by other girls all day, but she was quickly getting used to it.
Before joining The New Republic, Simmons had been the only girl on her team. And while everyone had been supportive of her coming out, she still felt like just one of the guys. To their credit she had only just come out after they boarded the ship that crashed them on this cursed planet. They had just started getting used to using ‘she’ for her when Locus showed up with The Federal Army and kidnapped Sarge and Donut.
Simmons had been too afraid to correct everyone and ask to be called a girl, so it was right back into the closet with her. Simmons had endured an entire lifetime of misgendering before this, she could handle a little longer until they could get off Chorus and go home. Grif had called her a pussy for it, but agreed to keep her secret nonetheless.
That night, Jensen had suggested getting the team together for some bonding time. Simmons had hesitantly agreed and commandeered an empty meeting room for them to have some semblance of privacy. As the night went on, she found herself growing more and more comfortable. Quick to realize she had been working herself up for no reason, Simmons let herself come out of her shell.
That’s when the alcohol was introduced. Simmons agreed to one shot, then another. It had been so long since she last drank, that two was all it took to become much more relaxed and loose lipped. She found herself sharing stories and thoughts that she never would’ve considered admitting to otherwise. When she was sober, she may regret how confident she was letting herself be, but right now Simmons was having a blast.
“So, Simmons, what’s it like being the only guy on the team?” One of them asked. Simmons couldn’t remember her name, but knew she played volleyball before the war.
She felt herself cringe at being called a guy. In no way did she blame her teammate, but the dysphoria paired with the alcohol left her reeling for a moment. Tapping her foot, Simmons debated if she should say something. On one hand, she couldn’t stand the awkwardness that is coming out to someone. However, on the other hand, she felt like she could really trust these girls. Simmons would be fighting alongside them, protecting each other with their lives, so she figured she might as well rip the bandage off.
“I’m um, I’m actually not a guy.” Simmons admitted before she could change her mind, looking away with a blush, “Sorry.”
“Wait, so, what are you?” One of them asked, tilting her head with curiosity.
“I’m a girl.” She replied, cursing her voice as it cracked over the sentence.
There was a long pause before Jensen chimed in, “Why didn’t you say something sooner? We’ve been calling you a boy this whole time!”
“I just didn’t want to deal with the headache. There’s enough going on as is.” Simmons replied.
Jensen waved off her excuse with a shake of her head, “Well you’re not going to get misgendered on my watch! You’re one of the girls now.”
Simmons smiled at her enthusiastic support. It wasn’t something she had gotten to experience since she first came out. Sarge had been doing his best to make sure he referred to Simmons correctly, and Grif had even helped her try and come up with a new first name, but something about the way Jensen was almost excited about her coming out just felt different. Even so, Simmons was relieved when the conversation moved on to something other than her gender identity.
The rest of the evening went by fairly smoothly, the only change being Simmons’ pronouns. However, she noticed Jensen staring at her a lot more than she had been earlier. She tried to brush it off, blaming the alcohol for making her paranoid.
“Well, I think we best be turning in.” Simmons said during a lull in the conversation, “We do have to be up early after all.”
The rest of the team murmured their agreements and goodnights before making their way back to the barracks. When she figured they all had gone, she turned to the mess left before her. As Simmons started tossing away plastic cups, she heard someone clearing her throat. Turning around, she noticed Jensen standing there and wringing her hands.
“Simmons? Do you want a hand with that?” She offered.
Simmons blinked in surprise, “Oh! Sure, I don’t see why not, but it’s just a few cups.”
Jensen shrugged and grabbed the last of the cups, tossing them in the trash before turning to look at her. Simmons stood there dumbly, confused as to why she was still standing there. The two of them stared at each other for a while as Jensen inched toward her team leader. There was something in the look in her eyes that made Simmons really nervous. Part of her started screaming at her to flee the discomfort and hide in her quarters.
“Simmons-”
“I, um, I should be going.” Simmons began, turning towards the door.
“Wait!” Jensen said, positioning herself in front of the door, “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
Simmons blinked in surprise, “What is it?”
“I just wanted to say you were very brave for telling us that earlier.” Jensen began, “I know how hard it can be to tell someone that.”
Simmons stared at Jensen in confusion, “Oh? What do you mean?”
“Well, um, I’m trans too.” Jensen explained with a nervous smile, “I thought I was being pretty obvious.”
Oh.
Simmons felt stupid for not figuring it out faster. Looking back it made so much sense. The way Jensen had been so excited for her to come out and how much she had been staring at her that evening.
“When did you come out?” Simmons asked after a long pause.
“I figured it out when I was fourteen,” Jensen explained, “Then I started on estrogen when I was sixteen.”
“So you must know a thing or two.” Simmons said with a shy smile, “I only told my team a couple months ago.”
“Oh wow! So you're a baby trans, huh.” Jensen giggled.
Simmons gave her a shrug, “I guess so. Do you have any advice?”
Jensen’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as she gave an eager nod. Before long, the two of them were sitting at the table once more, talking about their experiences of becoming a woman. It felt so refreshing to talk to someone who knew exactly what she was going through. It was like seeing yourself in the mirror for the first time.
Simmons found herself laughing louder and smiling wider at Jensen’s words. There was something about her that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Maybe it was the way she tapped her fingers and twirled her hair between her fingers when she was thinking. Or maybe it was how she seemed to know exactly what Simmons was about to say. Either way, she found herself moving closer and closer to her teammate as the minutes etched on into hours. She was drawn to Jensen, and she couldn't place a finger on why.
It started off with realizing the two of them were trans and rapidly evolved into talking about each other. How they both loved programming and video games and old sci-fi shows. And how Jensen was also super socially awkward, and the ways they both dealt with that. It was like they were both cut off the same cloth.
“Y'know, Simmons, I think you'll look super cute with long hair.” Jensen said.
Simmons’ eyes widened and she felt her cheeks heating up, “You do?”
“Yeah! I mean, you've already let it get a little long. Here let me just…” Jensen trailed off as she reached out for Simmons’ face.
Simmons’ eyes widened and her face darkened to nearly as red as her armor. She shuddered as Jensen pulled her hair out from behind her ears and started to style it. Her movements were so tender and it made Simmons want to melt into her touch.
“See? You already look so pretty.” Jensen smiled.
“You think I'm pretty?” Simmons asked, wringing her hands as she resisted the urge to melt into the floor and disappear.
Jensen looked at her for a long time, pressing her lips together nervously, “Is that okay?”
Simmons thought for a moment, staring at Jensen, “Yeah, I think that's okay.”
The two of them smiled, looking each other in the eyes. Jensen leaned in, resting a hand on Simmons’ knee as she inched closer. Before she could react, her teammate was pressing her lips to hers in a hesitant kiss.
Simmons was frozen in shock for a moment. Could this really be happening? The feeling of Jensen's hands moving up her sides pulled her out of her thoughts and forced her back into the moment. It didn't matter how Simmons got here, what mattered was a cute, sweet, nerdy, fellow trans girl was kissing her and it felt amazing. Simmons kissed Jensen back, finding the bravery to run her fingers through her long brown hair.
When the two of them finally came up for air, they both couldn't help but let out a nervous giggle. This was all happening so fast and Simmons couldn't believe she had just kissed Jensen. She barely knew the girl for god’s sake!
“I, um, I should go.” Jensen said, “I didn't realize how late it was!”
Simmons looked at the clock and let out a gasp. It was already half past midnight! And they had to be up for training at seven! She kicked herself for letting herself lose track of time, but she couldn't find it in herself to regret it.
“Yeah, you're right.” Simmons said, stifling a yawn.
“Maybe we should do this again sometime.” Jensen suggested, “I've loved getting to know you.”
Simmons felt her face darken once more. “Yeah, we should do this again.” Simmons breathed.
The two of them walked out of the meeting room, ready to head their separate ways. Simmons couldn't help but look over her shoulder as she watched Jensen disappear down the hallway.
Wait until Grif hears about this!