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Null would hate to admit it but he’s grown accustom to seeing you often, it felt like everyday you would log on to your computer and play this game, he doesn’t understand what you see in this game but he could tell that it brought you enjoy to play and hang out with him, with every update the game got, you were excited to show them to him, even if…you know.. he knows because he lives in the damn game but he didn’t mind it, he would rather die (again) than admit he likes seeing you smile.
Feeling your hand in his invisible ones, made his code grow staticky with warmth. He tried not to show it every time you open up the game but he looked forward to seeing you, talking with you, being with you, even at times you were a being a pain or a brat, you ground him, make him feel somewhat sane in this crazy game where logic goes to die and everyone talks with ear grating voices.
Hearing you yell out his name made something--- something deep within him flutter, jitter with delight.
Today felt no different really, even if your pc is off, his sentience was still awake so to speak, his code running in the background, he didn’t think much of it, eventually, you would wake up and turn on the computer, opening the game thus ‘waking’ him up. But some time has past—at least he feels like it has, it was usually around the time you would turn on your computer, he doesn’t think too much about it at first, maybe you’re just running late, that sometimes happens like if you overslept or maybe you were busy with something so he just waits in bare consciousness.
Yet more time has passed and now he was getting a little worried, what could possibly stall you this bad? Surely you would remember to turn on your PC right? He drifts through code and binary of your system, hoping you would eventually come along.
Nothing. Nothing was happening.
Null was totally not trying to freak out, exploring your system, hoping to find some clue to where you might have went, maybe you have a meeting with someone? That would have been written in your calendar, right? He scans through it and sees nothing indicating such a thing. Maybe it was something sudden like a family death? That might explain it and it does ease him a little bit, he’ll got a little easy on you when you do log back on if that’s the case but for now, he’ll just settle into an inactive state.
Before he knew it, a few days have passed.
He was getting worried, where in the world were you? Null looked around your computer’s system and found nothing had change to indicate you were here, did you die? Did something horrible happen in the real world? He needed to know, he needed to know where you were. But he can’t, he’s a just an NPC, code, pixels on a screen, he can’t escape the confides of this computer even if he tried.
It was starting to hit Null how much he misses you, it was stupid, he thought to himself but he really did care about you, you were like the sun to him, the light in the darkness of this so called game, you made him forget—even for a moment that he was an NPC, you treated him more than that, like a person.
When he was with you, he felt seen.
Null grew frantic, searching around your system, going into place he knew he shouldn’t, into settings, into code, into your RAM, just doing something in hopes he’ll get your attention, something to show that he’s still here and still cares for you. You would remember him right? There’s no way you would forget him.
Then that horrifying thought came and dug it’s way into his skull, what if…you really did forget about him? What if you wanted nothing to do with him anymore so you shut down your PC for good?
It stopped him in his tracks, making him sink a little, well, it made sense in a way, he was never really nice to you. Null would always brush you off or throw in an insult into his words but most of the time you seem to shrug it off or just see it as him hiding how he really feels about you--- maybe, maybe you were starting to hit a breaking point with that.
You probably hate him.
Grief swallows him up like an ocean, drowning him in its waves, cold waters paralyzing him from any more movement. It wasn’t fair you left him like this, wondering why and what he did wrong, leaving him to second guess himself. He never wanted to get attached to you in the first place and yet he did and guess where that ended up?
With him all alone once more.
Guess fate was just cruel like this, maybe he deserves it, it felt like he did and it left a terrible hole in his chest, knowing he’ll probably never see you again.
~~
Null doesn’t know how long it’s been, he’s stopped keeping track, he stopped checking, he hasn’t moved since that day, unable to care about anything anymore, just sitting around, missing the feeling of contact, the empty hollow feeling growing bigger inside him, nearly swallowing him up.
You’re never coming back for him, he’s accepted it but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt less.
He slumps a little more and let’s time pass him until he feels something course through his body, it’s small at first and he didn’t notice it but then it happens again, much stronger and it alerts him, something he hasn’t felt in such a long time.
The computer was being turned on.
Before he knew it, Null was yanked back into his game, thrown into the office causing him to stumble back and hit the desk, a sense of anxiety and joy fills his body in a way he can’t even explain as he looks around in disbelief, eyes darting to the office door as he heard quick footsteps approaching.
Then the door swung open and he saw you.
“Null?!” you exclaimed, your voice sounding rather hoarse and sickly, “I’m so sorry! I was really sick and stuck in bed and----”
You don’t get much of a chance to speak as Null suddenly scooped you up into his invisible arms, pulling you into a tight hug, certain that he could feel your sickly burning cheeks as he buries his face into your shoulder.
“Don’t scare me that that..” he sound like he was holding back tears, his glitchy voice was quivering, his hair tickled your neck.
Unable to bring yourself to say anything, you simply hug him back, comforting him and reassuring him that no matter what, you’ll always come back to him.