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The Yule Ball would’ve been easier had you gone to have fun alone. But when you are in love, things get complicated. Suddenly, someone else mattered to you. No matter how lovely that person was, you could adorn yourself for hours, and still wonder if it was enough.
Your eyes focused on scanning through the Entrance Hall for a sign of your partner in the crowd of students. And found him you did, patterns were woven on his outer coat, a long, silver-embroidered shawl over his shoulder with the other end hung on his arm, that was the way Amit stood out.
The princely quality of the arrangement made you flutter. You hid behind the stone wall, telling your poor heart to calm down.
Amit was two flights of stairs away, repeating his steps and muttering to himself, a contrast to the charming attire he put together that would otherwise make him look pleasantly intimidating. Your chest did something funny and it couldn’t be helped. He was just so endearing.
You jumped a little when he spotted you. As you walked out of your hiding spot, he put a hand on his chest, as if he had been disarmed without a spell, stunned and speechless, and now you were even. His hand was offered, convincing you to not shy away.
Waltz filled the air and couples danced to it. Each pair looked different from the direction of the chandeliers. The hem of your attire gave the impression of a comet trail, hands and arms attached to your dance partner in his midnight sky blue coat.
He kissed the back of your hand at the end of the first Waltz. He could be so coy as to avoid looking at you in the eye, but you noticed the red tint growing on his cheeks.
The merry died down as midnight approached. The clock showed half past eleven in the evening and the orchestra had been playing a softer-sounding arrangement.
By the end of the 7th year, many of your friends were either courting or engaged. By the looks of it, only true couples stayed for the slow dance, which wasn’t the case for both of you. But to be there with Amit didn’t feel out of place. You felt like an actual couple, in some way.
He hadn’t said anything about it, neither had you. But you could’ve sworn that at some moments, you almost got to that point. He would raise your hope and say ‘I want to speak to you about something’ and after a moment of pause, he would say something entirely different.
Sometimes, you had a dreadful reminder that someday, he would remember you only briefly, like a passing eclipse, or a red dye on a maiden’s hand washed off too early, not enough to leave a stain.
At some point, both of you agreed to retreat yourselves, shifting from the ballroom full of light from the crystal chandelier to a dimmer part of the castle that was the Central Hall.
It seemed that they cast a charm on the bridge, the falling snow melted and dripped down the lake as soon as they hit the ground.
Amit, like the admirer that he was, stared at the vast open sky as you both walked through the bridge near the Viaduct Courtyard.
“I love how clear it is here.” His eyes twinkled at them before they stared back at you. “My family lives in a big city, sometimes it’s too clouded with pollution to see anything.”
“Luckily you spend most of your years here. You better enjoy them while you can.”
“And I’m grateful for it.” He sighed. “Oh, I will miss this so much.”
“You’re really going to travel, aren’t you? I mean, after graduation, of course.”
“I am, and I’m already thinking of my first destination.” He perked.
“And you’re going to write a book too.” You chuckled. “That’s wonderful.”
The hold of your hand around his arm released. You walked ahead, much to his confusion. Arms crossed with your back facing against him, leaving him a few steps away.
You could see the sighing of your deep breath in the cold air, and so he noticed. You heard a flap of a fabric, the shawl he wrapped around your shoulders.
“Thank you.” You mumbled.
“Don’t worry.” He smiled. “Can I write about you in the details of our adventure in the fifth year?”
The gloom on your face turned into a grin now.
“No, please, not about me.” Your head shook. “Imagine if Professor Weasley drag me back just to give me detention if she found out!” You uttered in a loud whisper.
“Or, she would be proud of you! Maybe she would say ‘This one was my student once!’ who knows?” He shrugged.
“Amit!” You urged.
“Alright! I’m just joking.” His hands raised in surrender. “I won’t mention your name, I'll guarantee that.”
“Okay, that will do just fine.” You sighed in relief. “Although I’m sad that I won’t meet my friends as much. You won’t forget about me, won’t you?”
“What? That’s ridiculous, I won’t!”
“Really?”
“Of course!”
“Then, promise me that you’ll write to me.”
You extended your little finger, which he took without a doubt.
“I promise.”
A silly idea came out of nowhere, you curled your finger on his palm, he laughed from the ticklishness on his skin, breaking the rest of the melancholy that remained in the air.
“Hey! What was that for?”
You had no replies, only a mischievous smile that invited him.
Amit crouched from the playful attack that you brought to his hips, while you wrapped his shawl around your head, hiding your bare neck away from what he sent back.
Laughter echoed around the thick stone walls, and the paintings fussed. The two of you ran through Sir Nicholas’ see-through form, only stopping for a while to apologize before going back to your childish game of chase.
You didn’t remember when was the last time you sported around this way. You tackled him, and he tackled you.
But the laughing fit gradually subsided and both of you fell on the marble floor. He lied down to catch his breath, while you sat beside him and stared, as the moonlight from outside the window shone his face in the most flattering way.
There was a certain solemnity in the air that none of you wanted to move away, although you were both too close to be appropriate. Thankfully, the Gargoyles’ eyes didn’t reach this place enough to make their teasing remarks, nor Peeves.
His stare shifted from the ceiling, and fell on the silver embedded silk that curtained your face.
“Well, look at you!” He breathed out, shaking his head in astonishment. “This suits you so well! You look—”
He slightly tucked away the silk, revealing your skin and the growing flush that appeared rose-stained at his affectionate gaze. He quietly wished that he could just kiss it, suffocating to simply think of.
“—Like a bride.”
The words spilled out like a wish, more silent and stifled.
A bride— something unspoken started to surface, and at this point, it became inevitable.
Amit had his potion ingredients mixed up the other day, for the first time in years, he received a scolding from Professor Sharp.
His poorly drawn star chart sent quite a shock to Professor Shah. She wrote to his family, saying that their son has been distracted.
But nothing fruitful will ever come out of him, no matter how much they ask. Their beloved son has learned to keep his secret in all his letters.
And he knew perfectly why. Why he had been losing his sleep and his appetite, and why he messed up his sentences in your presence every once in a while, when you gave him a compliment or when you stood so close that he could feel your breath tickling his neck.
It all came to this moment when his turmoil was at peak. He needed to break out, to give himself some closure, and, to give you something you had been waiting for, although he hadn't known about it, not yet.
“I must say something.”
His voice broke out in an unusually daring way.
“What is it?”
“But—” He made a pause, and you noticed the hesitation from him as he furrowed his eyebrows. “If you don’t like what I’m about to say.. would you still be my friend?”
“Of course I will, you silly.” You let out a chuckle. “Well, say it, Amit.”
“Oh, Gods.. Alright.” He took a sharp breath. “I know that we will part ways soon.. but, when I think of the possibility that we will grow apart, or that you may end up with someone else— I don’t think I will be able to take it.”
“You don’t want me ending up with someone else?” Your eyes softened, turning just as warm as the rest of your face. “Then, who would you rather I end up with?” Your words were like a taunt.
“I’d rather—” And then he finally said it. “I would rather you end up with me.”
His sight avoided you, and the moment of silence that swole up washed him with regret. It became unbearable to be at the mercy of your towering gaze, no matter how tender it seemed.
“I won’t pressure you to return the sentiment.”
His voice shook, trying to tone down his sincere wish to not chase you away.
His lips trembled as he tried to find an explanation for himself. Sometimes, you would find yourself staring at them, and wondering.
“You know, I just want to...”
His next words drifted away as your thumbs reached for his chin.
“..If that’s how you feel about me—”
You didn’t know what had got into you. As puzzled as he was, he couldn’t help but to look at you as he felt your fingertip on his lips.
“—Then, I hope you wouldn’t mind..”
The floral scent of your perfume started to cloud his judgment, and his lips parted for you to take.
The sheer blue silk on your head fell on him as well, acting like a partition between both of you and whoever might walk in. And if they do, they’d be welcomed by a pair of silhouettes, lips pressed together underneath the embroidered silk, although full of silver thread, but sheer enough to be exposed.
As you breathed for air, his head raised slightly, unwilling to be parted from the kiss that ceased his doubts. You didn’t know his lips would be so soft as they moved to feel more of you, so delicate.
As you rested your head on his chest, the thumping of his heart could be heard alarmingly fast.
Amit looked at the stars just outside the window. Everything he loved always seemed unreachable. But now they were all in his arms.