Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Carson would often find it hard to find a place to eat, study, or even get a moment of peace. He always had someone bothering him about something, whether about his future position as captain, what was happening in class, or even to talk about what he had for breakfast.

Everyone wanted to know about Carson, his ideology, opinions, ideas, advice, everything. Yet the one thing that no one knew about was his brother, Sparks.

If the two sat beside each other, no one could tell the two were related. They were nothing alike.

A long-running joke told at every Thanksgiving dinner was that Carson was blessed with the best of both parents. He had his father’s broad shoulders and square face, alongside his bravery and integrity. Then from his mother’s side, her blonde wavy hair, kind brown eyes, a heart three times too big, and wisdom that would put even father time to shame. He was everything anyone would want to be.

Due to his parent’s status, his name was quickly known to everyone in the USSA. At twelve, his father would start taking him to his duties and training him. Everyone on deck would ask if he would live up to his father’s name and someday take over the ship his father commanded. At just seventeen, spring semester of freshmen year at the academy, the USSA already had a captain position lined up for him. It was hard not to know about the famous Carson Nevada.

Then there was Sparks.

Sparks’ joke at the dinner table was that he was unexpected in all ways.

Stacy and Caiaphas only planned to have Carson, primarily due to how time-consuming their jobs were, yet six years after Carson, Sparks appeared out of nowhere. He gave everyone a shock, especially when he came out ginger.

Sparks was given his father's stubbornness and anger, along with his height and cold blue eyes. From his mother, her spontaneous freckles, crooked nose, southern tongue, anxiety, and small tolerance.
Sparks looked nor acted anything like Carson. He was frail, easy to topple over, and uncoordinated. Worst of all, he had asthma.

The two were in different worlds, miles apart, never interacting, at least until Carson got into the academy.

Carson would often go home to finally get a moment to himself, often relaxing in the childhood bedroom he and Sparks shared. Whenever Carson was home, Sparks wasn’t.
Carson didn’t mind or care what Sparks was doing with his time and never bothered to ask. That was until his mother would ask him to fetch him for dinner.

Carson hated going to fetch Sparks. Sparks was always outside in the worst weather at the worst time, and Carson had to suffer for it. He grumbled into his scarf, hugging himself warm. Even with his thick puffy black jacket, he could still feel the cold of Saturn.

Both brothers would beg their parents to spend winter break on a different planet, yet their parents were adamant about spending the holidays in their grandparent's home.

Every so often, Carson would call out Sparks’ name, trying to get his attention and have him come running back. It was a basic tactic, sure, but it worked every single time, at least usually it did.

At this point, Carson had been outside searching for Sparks for twenty minutes and there had been no sight of him. Carson began to get irritated at this point, he was freezing and hungry, and his fingertips were starting to go numb. He gave himself a timer, if Sparks didn’t show up at the thirty-minute mark, he was going back to make it his parents' problem. Carson began to mutter to himself, cussing out the cold weather, Sparks, and his thin gloves. That was until he heard grunts within the forest and several laser shots.

Carson perked up and slowly walked toward the sound, that was, until a familiar yell of frustration echoed against the trees. Carson ran and eventually found a clearing. Another shot sounded. He instinctively hid behind a tree, observing the scene.

Sparks moves frantically, trying to fire at an automated motion target. He runs around the clearing, dodging and weaving any obstacle before getting a clear shot and shoots several sporadic shots. Each one missed the target.

Carson stares in shock, slightly judging the missed shots.

A grunt comes from Sparks, running toward a tree stump to what seems to be a refill until he stops completely. He’s run out of refills.

Carson doesn’t need to be a genius to realize how overwhelmed Sparks feels. He can see him heaving from afar, even hearing his wheezes. The target taunts him with its beeping.

Carson looks at the sad scene and ponders if he should interrupt, yet his thoughts are cut off by a gut-filled scream. He looks up at the scene and sees Sparks throw the pistol at the target, hitting it and causing it to fall to the ground and stop its beeping.

Sparks walks over and stands over the target with his back facing towards Carson, looking down on it, heavily wheezing. He tries to get a deep breath in, yet when he exhales, a sob comes out, and he slowly kneels down to the floor, hugging himself.

Carson feels his heart become heavy, gaining a sinking feeling in his stomach. He turns toward the tree stump, seeing a pile of Sparks items laying beside it, including his inhaler.

He walks towards the trunk, picks up the inhaler, and slowly approaches Sparks, now sniffling and heaving. Without saying anything, he looks down at Sparks, handing him his inhaler gently.

Sparks slowly turns to the inhaler and looks up at Carson. His expression causes Carson’s heart to drop. His eyes are filled with tears, threatening to fall, but Sparks keeps fighting them back. It’s almost as if seeing Carson makes Sparks feel worse as he looks back down at the inhaler. He turns away for a second.

Sparks gasps a huge breath, wiping his eyes, giving one last sniffle before snatching the inhaler from Carson.

Carson quickly pulls his hand back after the aggressiveness, unsure of what Sparks is currently feeling and how to comfort him. It surprised him how quickly of manner Sparks changed.

The two stay silent. The only sound is Sparks shaking the inhaler and breathing it in, eventually sighing in relief.

Carson eventually kneels down as well, continuing the silence. He turns his head over to the broken target, repeating Sparks’ screams of anger in his head.

“Why are you here?” Sparks asks in a somber tone.

Carson hesitates before he answers, “Mom wanted me to fetch you for dinner.”

Another wave of silence hits them.

“Why are you here?” Carson asks, looking around the clearing, seeing nothing but snow and trees surrounding the clearing.

“To train,” Sparks falters, “And so mom couldn’t find me.”

“Train for what?”

The question seemed to anger Sparks. He grunts and quickly gets up, walking to get his stuff, “It doesn’t matter, let’s just go to dinner.”

“Sparks, wait,” Carson follows him, “What are you training for?”

“Nothing,” Sparks yells, angrily putting his jacket on and throwing his inhaler into the side pocket.

“You can’t just say you’re training and not explain for what?”

“Just drop it, Carson,” Sparks throws his backpack on his shoulder.

Carson gets angry, tired of Sparks’ attitude, “Seriously? You’re not going to tell me? What’s the point in training if it’s for nothing?”

“Which is why I’m quitting.”

“You don’t have to quit. I can help you!”

Sparks scoffs, “And what just to have you rub yourself in my face.”

Carson throws his hands up in confusion, mouthing confusion, then throwing his hands down to his sides, “Well, you can’t quit! If you start something, end it.”

Sparks rolls his eyes, “Of course, you would say that.”

Carson gets offended, “What does that mean?”

Sparks’ partially turns back around to Carson, looking at him up and down. Carson shakes his head toward him, telling him to go on.

Sparks narrows his eyes, “You really don’t know, don’t you.”

“Know what?”

“You’re the Carson Nevada.”

This only confuses Carson more, “What?”

Sparks starts getting annoyed, “God, you’re insufferable. I don’t get how everyone likes you. You’re so annoying. You have to at least know that. It’s worse seeing you every day, but it’s even worse having everyone be more interested in your brother than you.”

Carson is taken aback by the outburst.

Sparks begins to yell, “I am so much more than just being your brother. I can be just as good as you, maybe even better.”

“Sparks-” Carson tries to cut him off.

“No! I don’t want you or Mom’s pity,” Sparks yelling starts to turn into begging, “I can be just as good as you. I have to be. I swear, the only thing holding me back is this stupid inhaler!” Sparks throws the inhaler to the floor, causing the casing to crack.
Carson winces at the outburst, “I can be just as good as you, Mom, Dad, everyone! I know I can be. They must know I can be just as good as you, Carson. I’m not every bad thing about Mom and Dad. I have to be more than that.”

Sparks’ voice starts to crack more often, “I gotta be more than that, Carson, right?”

Carson could only stare in concern, too in shock to say anything. Even if he could, he didn’t know what he could say to Sparks.

“What am I in this family besides the screw-up Carson? I have to be something more.” Sparks finally seems to break, having more tears build up in his eyes again, yet none fall.

Carson could only look down in shame. He understood the pressure Sparks must be under, yet he never understood the severity of how he was handling it.

When Carson was twelve, he was taken on his father’s ship. When Sparks is twelve, he isn’t given one single chance. Carson was under the pressure of living up to certain expectations. Sparks was expected to be anything, and Carson was jealous of it until now.

Sparks could’ve been anything, yet it wouldn’t be good enough, not compared to what Carson was. Others built Carson’s expectations, yet he built Sparks’ expectations.

He felt guilty. Nobody gave him a chance. They all knew Sparks couldn’t reach to become Carson, so why bother?

“You’re right,” Carson says, looking to meet Sparks’ eyes. Sparks stays quiet, “You’re something more. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be my brother, much less the son of a commander and captain.”

Carson walks up in front of Sparks, puffing his chest out and holding his hands together behind his arms. The same way their father did in order to intimidate the two. The same way that his father did to announce that he was going with him on his ship. He gave a determined glare down at Sparks.
Sparks stared up at him before quickly looking down in shame.

“When I was twelve, Dad took me on his ship and began training me,” Carson paused, causing Sparks to look up at him, “While I don’t have a ship, I’ll take my time to train and make sure that you’ll be the perfect captain.”

Carson can tell this sparks a flame in Sparks, causing him to match Carson’s stance. Carson breaks his posture, giving a sentimental look, and bends down to meet Sparks’ height, “Sparks, you’re going to be the best of all of us. And one day, it’ll be all about you.”

Sparks smiles at Carson before turning it into a sly grin, “Promise?”

“If it isn’t true, may whoever above strike me dead,” Carson smiles back and stands straight up, “We should get going. Mom’s going to worry.”

Chapter Text

Caiaphas had never seen a situation this grave before. Sure, he’s been in a war or two, yet nothing could compare to what he’s seeing right now.

Piles of dead bodies everywhere, consisting of both Plutonians and USSA officers, almost making it hard to walk without stepping on at least some blood. He was sure he stepped on at least someone’s arm during the walkthrough.

He was initially called to help out in the battle, providing men and weaponry, yet when he arrived, it was too late. The battle ended in a tie, with no one surviving to take the trophy. It’s a difficult pill to swallow as a captain, yet Caiaphas was used to it.

At least, he was until he saw his son in one of the piles. Caiaphas almost doubted himself, trying to convince himself that it must be a lookalike, yet when the body was pulled out of the rubble, and an ID was found, there was no doubt about it.

Carson didn’t look like himself, covered in what Caiaphas could only assume was Plutonian blood and his own. Carson had several injuries, one that any other officer wouldn’t have survived, including a slash across his entire torso. Worst of all was Carson’s eyes they were full of fear.

Caiaphas couldn’t stand to look at his son; it was the only time he looked at Carson in shame and disgust.

He let the other officers take his boy in before Stacy could see. He himself couldn’t handle the scene. He fully believed Stacy would break, and he was right.

When the two found each other during the walkthrough, Stacy immediately knew something had happened to Caiaphas.

Stacy gave a worried look wanting to know what happened. Caiaphas could only say two words.

“He’s gone.” Stacy’s expression turned to horror. She immediately knew.

Caiaphas could only stand there as his wife broke down in the middle of the battlefield. Her screams of anguish echoed throughout the field, gaining the attention of every officer, several of them came to the aid of Stacy, trying to get her back up and take her to the ship.

Caiaphas stared as they dragged his wife back to their ship, her only being able to scream, “My boy, oh god, my baby boy.”

As the screams continued, Carson’s face flashed back into his mind, forever etching every detail to his memory.

After that, the ship would remain silent on the trip back to the USSA. Nobody had to mention it, yet the death of Carson Nevada was a heavy topic on everyone’s mind. Almost everyone on the ship knew him personally. Knowing his bright mind and warm personality, everyone rooted for him.

He died only at 26, it was only his first year as captain, and he’s already dead.

Caiaphas had to tell Sparks, yet he didn’t know how to. He stared at the holo-monitor, trying to think of what to say. Usually, Stacy knew what to say, but currently, she’s out of commission.

He didn’t even know how Sparks would react, as regrettable he was to admit, he wasn’t close with the boy, no one was, at least that’s what Caiaphas believed. He barely saw Carson and Sparks hug each other, much less hang around each other. Carson was too busy with being a Captain and Sparks was busy with the academy.

Caiaphas was on a ticking time clock, he had to tell Sparks before the USSA did, yet Caiaphas was completely fine with the USSA telling Sparks for him. He took a deep breath before pressing the top of the cylinder in front of him.

Caiaphas held his hands together behind his back and puffed his chest out while standing up straight. He cleared his throat at the monitor dialed Sparks.

It always took a bit for Sparks to pick up the call. Caiaphas always had a feeling Sparks was intentionally avoiding his calls.

Eventually, it picked up, and a hologram of Sparks appeared in front of him. He seemed to be in uniform currently, meaning he was in the middle of a class. The sinking pit of his stomach felt heavier.

Sparks held the same posture Caiaphas held, trying to look respectful, yet his annoyed expression said otherwise.

“Hey, Dad.”
“Dad?”

Sparks sighed, “Yes, Captain?”

“You shouldn’t be caught slacking, boy. It ruins your reputation.”

“Yes, Captain. It won’t happen again, Captain.” Sparks says with a hint of sarcasm. Caiaphas grimaces, not knowing what to say next.

“We’ll be arriving in a couple of days for a visit.”

“I know,” Sparks hesitates, “Captain. Mom told me last weekend.”

“What’d she tell you.”

“She told me to look clean and presentable. Bring a suit while I’m at it.” Caiaphas's eyes widened. He had forgotten all about the dinner with the council. Sparks was given the honor to meet the council before his performance exam next week. They were going to have to cancel.

An awkward wave of silence fell in between the two, confusing Sparks and annoying him further. The two wait for a few minutes to pass, waiting for anyone to say something. Eventually, Sparks speaks up.

“Captain, I’m in the middle of class. Is there a reason you called?” It was as if a dam broke inside Caiaphas, he dropped his perfect stance, drooping his shoulder, looking down in shame again, remembering the day he found Carson.

“Captain?” Another beat of silence, “Dad?”

“Boy, what I’m about to tell you, don’t let it affect you too hard.” Sparks furrows his eyebrows, breaking his posture.

“What?”

“Carson’s gone.” Another wave of silence hits, not awkward, but heavy this time. Caiaphas decides to continue, “He was killed during a battle on Pluto. They still don’t know how he died. They’re investigating right now.”

Caiaphas finally decides to look up, and sees Sparks staring at the floor yet keeping his head up.
“How’s mom?” Caiaphas is taken back at the question before grimacing at the thought of Stacy. He turns away from Sparks with his hands on his hips. Sparks already knows the answer.

“I’m surprised you haven’t done anything crazy yet,” Sparks finally looks up at his father, giving a slight chuckle, “I would’ve assumed you would’ve killed off the rest of the planet for Carson.”

“There’s nothing left to kill.” The comment immediately brings the mood down again.

“So what do we do now?” Sparks asks. Caiaphas turns partially to face Sparks, seeing the sadness in his eyes. Perhaps the two were close, after all.

Caiaphas thinks of what he could say to his son. His only son. Nothing comes to mind.

Caiaphas peers down to Sparks’ USSA uniform, the logo reminding him of what he needs to be. Caiaphas thinks of what he would say to his crew.

He takes a deep breath before regaining his original stance, standing up straight and puffing out his chest. He turns back around with his hands in the form of a fist to his sides, giving a determined look to Sparks.

He approaches Sparks quickly, stopping only a couple of inches from him. He makes sure Sparks’ looks at him, keeping intense eye contact.

“You’re going to pass you’re exam next week and become a captain. You’re going to work the hardest you’ll ever be and become the best Captain the USSA has ever seen.”

“But-” Caiaphas cuts off Sparks.

“There is no going against my orders. As your father and a USSA captain, you will abide by whatever I say no matter what.”

“Yes, sir.” Sparks looks down in shame.

“You’re going to be what Carson couldn’t, even if it kills you. You hear me?”

Sparks hesitates, “Yes, sir.”

Caiaphas, satisfied with the answer, dismisses Sparks.

Chapter Text

Stacy was extremely tired.

She could only look at the ceiling as she sat on her eldest son’s bed, taking everything in. Carson’s clock ticked the seconds down to his six forty-five a.m. alarm. His mattress was hard and firm, to his liking. The pillow smelled of his shampoo and cologne alongside his stuffed panda bear, which was dirty from the years of use.

She had been sleeping in what used to be his son's childhood bedroom for the past couple of nights. She knew leaving her husband alone in their marital bed was wrong, but Caiaphas understood. At least, she hoped he did.

Caiaphas had taken hold of the reigns during Stacy’s absence, ensuring everything was in order and handling Sparks.

Stacy couldn’t bear to think of Sparks.

Shortly after Carson’s death, Sparks would fail his performance exam. As the Dean of Students stated, Sparks had “fired his crew, as well as injured his crewmates after they tried retaliating.”

Caiaphas tried to deal with the situation with the Dean of Students as she had tried to console Sparks outside the office. The two could hear a lot of yelling from inside. Stacy tried paying attention until Sparks began to mumble beside her.

“What was that? You’re going to have to speak up, noodle.”

“I thought I had it under control.” Stacy took a moment to think of what to say. Sparks always looked up to Carson, wanting to be just like him. When Sparks was younger, Stacy thought it was adorable. At that moment, it was more of a gut punch.

The two would cause an extreme ruckus, only causing chaos throughout the Indomitable. Carson quickly got annoyed that Sparks didn’t leave him alone, much less appealed to the fact that Sparks was mimicking him.

Sparks would often copy Carson’s answers as well to basic questions. For several years, the two stated that calamari was their favorite food, yet whenever the family ate it, Sparks very noticeably forced it down with a disgusted look.

Now, whenever she thought of Sparks, she would immediately think of Carson and it hurt that her now only son wouldn’t be able to love his older brother the way he should’ve.

“You can’t really be a captain without a crew, can you?” Stacy tried enlightening the mood. Sparks stayed quiet, Stacy quickly realizing it wasn’t the time.

Caiaphas bursted out of the office, angrier than Stacy had ever seen him. The two jumped out of their chairs.

“Caiaphas, what happened?”

“Sparks,” Caiaphas immediately demanded, causing Sparks to stand up straighter, “I don’t know what you were thinking while on that ship, but you just got yourself expelled.”

“What?” the two exclaimed together.

Caiaphas had refused to fight for Sparks any longer. The two had gotten into a huge fight lasting late into the night before Caiaphas had forcefully sent him to his room. Stacy had tried reasoning between the two before finally realizing that she would only be cast further into the side.

Once Caiaphas was alone, she tried talking some sense into him.

“He’s our son! You can’t just let him get expelled from the academy.”

“Well, he should’ve thought of that before firing his crew.” Stacy grimaced at the response. She knew that Caiaphas was quick to anger, but once he was set, his rage would shimmer and become more of a classiness type of lashing out, “Besides, he injured one of his classmates. He was out of line.”

“His brother just died!” Stacy hadn’t brought up Carson since the accident, yet she couldn’t just let her son be tossed aside, “You cannot seriously expect him to be okay and pass one of the biggest academy exams on the first try.”

“This is different Stace-”

“I don’t see how it is. The moment Carson died, they put me on temporary leave and haven’t sent the Indomitable on any missions, yet with Sparks-”

“He hurt a kid, Stace!” Caiaphas stared at his wife in shock, surprised that his wife had taken such a stance, “It doesn’t matter what happened, but we did not raise our son to harm with ill intent.”

Stacy stayed quiet. The week had been tiring for the entire ship. Everyone available on board the vessel was dispatched for the Plutonian War, making them already tired when beginning the journey back to Earth. The medic bay had been put into overdrive, now taking the role of a morgue, taking in as many dead USSA agents back to Earth. The magazines worked 24/7, ensuring no one was coming for a surprise attack. The cockpit crew had been switching out shifts to keep moving. Everyone had been on edge.

As much as she wanted to fight back for her son, she knew her husband was right. She was unsure where the violent outburst had come from. She knew her son was grieving but didn’t know he was capable of hurting others.

She decided to confront him herself.

She cautiously walked into her son’s room. She looked to the right towards Sparks’ bed, only to see it empty.

“Sparks?” Stacy gently muttered. A groan came from above; Stacy turned towards Carson’s bed to see a pair of space boots hanging on the edge of the loft bed. She sighed, closing the door behind her.

Stacy carefully approached Sparks, afraid to do the wrong thing that would scare him away. She takes a moment to think of what to say.

“What did dad say?” Sparks’ voice sounded so vulnerable and soft, almost like he was eight again.

Stacy began to look around the room, “He refused to budge.”

Sparks remained silent, but Stacy assumed he began shuffling due to the sound of the sheets. She looked behind her towards Carson’s desk, hearing the alarm clock ticking, “I miss him too, Noodle.”

Silence. Stacy frowned, carefully picking up the journal in the middle of the desk, “He will always be with us, but we do have to move on.”

“No, we don’t.” Sparks’ tone was harsh, almost full of hate.
“He wouldn’t want us to stop our lives just because of an accident.”

“An accident?” Sparks quickly sat up, eyes red and stuffy, incredibly angry, “This wasn’t an accident, Mom. They sent him to fight in that war; everyone knew he shouldn’t have, but they still did. He was too early of a captain to send him to war.”

“They wouldn’t have given him the order if they thought he wasn’t ready.”

“They still shouldn’t have sent him.”

“Sparks, when working in this field, you sign your life away for the greater good.”

“What greater good? I’m pretty sure we started the war against the Plutonians. They just sent Carson as a pawn.” Sparks had jumped down from the loft, pacing back and forth

“Sparks, calm down,” Stacy wanted to prevent Sparks from getting aggressive, “Where is this anger coming from, anyway?”

Sparks stopped to look at her incredulously, “Mom! How could you not? They took away Carson, your son!”

“Carson stood for everything good in the war. He was brave, courageous, kind- He died a hero,” Sparks could only stare at his mother, “I might’ve lost my son, but I assure you it was worth it. The U.S.S.A gained an inspiring role model for future generations.”

“They used him,” Sparks took a deep breath, “The moment they knew that we were starting to lose our edge, they took their chance. Carson’s dead, you’re on medical leave, I’m expelled, and they left Dad in charge of everything. If they love us so much, why didn’t they plan a funeral? Why did they leave us in charge of it?”

Stacy kept silent, “They’re taking everything, and it’s like you don’t even care.”

“Of course I care,” Stacy whispered, “He was my first.”

“Then why aren’t you doing anything about it?” Sparks begged. There was a look in his eyes that Stacy had never seen before—a look of pure grief and hopelessness.

. While Stacy wasn’t necessarily against his views, she could never agree. She had spent her whole life working under and for the USSA. She knew the dangers of going out on the battlefield but accepted the terms wholeheartedly, never necessarily understanding the consequences. The same ones she was facing.

It was selfish. To fight in a war that someone else had started, pour out all your remaining strength in hopes you could be the change to end the war, yet you’re only a ripple in a tsunami. And now Stacy was facing the consequences.

The USSA had failed them. Her sons. And she couldn’t protect them.

Looking back at Sparks, she realized she had failed him too.

She remembered when Carson was six and Sparks was just newly born. She wholeheartedly believed she could spend an eternity just staring at her two sons, forever grateful that the universe blessed her. She swore to protect them with everything in her power.

If she could’ve, she would’ve stopped time right then and there, knowing they were okay at the moment. Away from harm, away from Pluto, away from the USSA. If she knew, she would’ve retired then and there and lived on Earth with them.

She thought of an alternate universe where she did just that with Caiaphas. The two would’ve settled, Caiaphas would’ve worked as manager of a succeeding business, and maybe she could’ve fulfilled her dream of being a writer. All while caring for her two sons and keeping them away from danger. Maybe Carson would’ve grown up to be a scientist alive and well, perhaps even be married by now. Meanwhile, Sparks would be studying to be an architect, talking with his mother over coffee about all his future college projects.

Stacy could look into her sons' eyes in that universe without shame or guilt. Knowing it wouldn’t be the last time, she could hug her sons. She could eat with all four of them at the dinner table, laughing over whatever antics his husband had encountered that day, shenanigans that Carson and his college buddies would get up to, or whatever assignment Sparks had misinterpreted.

They could’ve been a normal family.

Instead, she was watching her family break into pieces. Watching the hard work she had spent softening her husband’s heart disappear and her son delve deeper into a pit of grief, guilt, and anger, becoming a shell of the son he used to care for and love.

And worst of all was that she was tired. Extremely tired.

Chapter Text

Horner walks past a group of USSA agents celebrating the recent win against Earth’s moon. A group of ten sat around a table, serving nonstop beer and vodka. All were shouting and cheering, some singing the USSA anthem.

As much as Horner wanted to join in on the fun, he had been called to the Captain’s quarters. Reporting to the Captain was a daily task for Horner as the first lieutenant, yet it seemed that the Captain would call him constantly asking for updates on his youngest cadet: Sparks Nevada.

Horner had always been aware of the Nevadas and the bad luck they brought and encountered, yet Horner had nothing but sympathy toward Sparks. The poor boy is only twenty-one and already has a dead brother and war on his conscience.

It seemed the other agents thought otherwise, purposely avoiding Sparks either out of fear or hate. It made Horner look at the other agents in disgust, shocked that while a fellow cadet was grieving, they only abandoned him. It forced Horner to cave out a soft spot in his heart.

When Horner arrived at the building, he opened the door, allowing himself to enter. He walked towards the captain’s desk, standing straight and looking ahead with no hesitation.

“How’s the youngest cadet?” The captain asked without looking up from his writing. Horner sighed internally at the lack of greeting.

“He’s doing well. He’s progressing even faster than the other agents.” The captain froze momentarily before putting his pen down and looking to meet Horner’s gaze.

“That’s great!” The captain suddenly smiled, causing Horner almost to lose his posture in shock. The captain stood up suddenly, pushing his chair back, “Caiaphas will be very pleased at this news.”

“May I ask how you are pleased?” Horner raised an eyebrow, following the captain as he limped to the bar. About two battles ago, the captain ended up being struck in the ankle, causing him to be on bed rest for two weeks and out of commission for two months. Since then, he hasn’t been able to walk regularly, only using his left to drag his right leg.

“The only reason the boy is here is cause the USSA forced Caiaphas to consent to send him to battle. Threatening to take the Captain position away from him,” the captain began explaining as he began pouring two shots of whiskey.
“They’re allowed to do that?” Horner murmured to himself.

“As long as the council agrees, anything goes.”

“That seems immoral.”

“Well, the USSA does it to ensure he’s ready before being tasked with such a huge job.”

“If he graduated, then it means he’s ready.”

“That’s what you think. I’m sure you heard that he flunked the performance exam.” Horner’s eyebrows raised. While he knew about it, he couldn’t really believe that he had flunked it once he saw him walk the stage.

“But they said it was faulty and passed him anyway.”

“That’s cause Caiaphas threatened the council to allow Sparks to walk the stage.”

“And it worked?” Horner asked genuinely. The captain stopped pouring the whiskey and turned, swishing around the bottle, “Well- no. Not really. They more so came to an agreement that Sparks would be able to graduate if he helped fight in the war.”

He twisted the cap back onto the bottle, “But with Carson being almost a year dead, he doesn’t want his other boy out here for too long.”

Horner could only watch, further sympathizing for Sparks. It wasn’t his fault that he was forced out here, nor was it his fault that he couldn’t pass the exam so close to his brother’s death.

The captain began wobbling over to Horner with the two glasses of whiskey, “While we can think of the future, how about we celebrate the now? We just won a battle against the moon people! And our youngest cadet took the winning kill.”

The captain reached the glass out for Horner to take. Horner stared at it for a second, before slowly taking the glass. He watched as the captain downed his drink in one gulp before taking his own swig at the drink.

He groaned as the alcohol burned his throat, giving back the glass to his captain.

“Now, get back to your room. You and Sparks both have the night off. Get some rest. We all must be ready if there’s another attack.”
And just like that, Horner was sent off.

Horner would pass by the same group of agents from earlier, no longer yelling and chanting but dancing and chatting. Horner refused to say anything about them being in line, only slightly chuckling at their antics before continuing to his room.

It was odd that he wasn’t flying about the corners of space, now just stationed on one moon permanently. It was different, yet Horner wasn’t necessarily against it.

Once he arrived at his room, he scanned his ID, commanding the door to slide open. It revealed a tidy and small room. Only having enough room for bunk beds and two desks, one of which Sparks sat at, writing into a small notebook.

The room had no windows or light switch, leaving the room in complete darkness besides Sparks desk lamp.

Sparks glanced up slightly, acknowledging the lieutenant’s presence before returning to his writing.

Horner was never good with getting along with today’s youth.

“The captain is very pleased with your progress.” Horner smiled as he entered the room, allowing the door to slide close behind him. Sparks remained silent.

Horner’s smile faded, unsure of what else to say. He took a peek at Sparks’ journal, seeing blueprints of random structures the boy drew.

“Those are very nice,” Horner’s smile returned, “I never took you for architecture. Do you plan on doing anything with it?”

Sparks shrugged, flipping his pencil to the eraser and rubbing a mistake away. Sparks moved his hand to the edge of the paper, giving Horner a full view of the drawing.

Most of the doodles consisted of homes, bridges, and statues. Horner could tell wasn’t an artist, only doing simple sketches with very simple shapes. At the bottom right of a page was the doodle of a head statue.

The more Horner looked at it, the more he recognized the face, similar to Sparks's, yet with slight differences in the nose, eyes, and smile. Horner was about to say something about it before Sparks slammed the notebook shut and slammed it on his desk.

Sparks stared up at Horner, giving him an unsettling, dead look. Horner grew to hate Sparks eyes, they were incredibly aged compared to the rest of his face. Sparks grew several layers of eye bags, making it seem like he hadn’t slept in years and developing small wrinkles by the edges.

Yet to Horner, he was most unsettled by the lack of spark in Sparks’. He kept the same expression in the room and on the battlefield: a tired yet determined look. The more Horner thought about it, he hadn’t ever seen Sparks afraid once, always taking risks against Horner’s better judgment.

Horner stepped back at the realization, now unsettled by Sparks’ stare.

Sparks wasn’t a risk-taker. He just didn’t care anymore. At only twenty-one, Sparks had lost so much and was no longer afraid to lose anything else, including his life. It made Sparks strong yet weak at the same time.

“That was your brother,” Horner blurted out, causing Sparks’ eyes to widen at the outburst, “Right? That was in the corner of the page?”

Sparks side-eyed his journal for a second and then directed his attention back to Horner, “Yeah. Carson.”

“I’m sorry about what happened.”

Sparks shrugged, taking a deep breath, and leaned back in his chair, “It’s whatever. It happened, and there’s nothing we could do.”

“I suppose that is true. We all die.”

“What?” Sparks stared in confusion, “The USSA sent him, and he had no choice. There’s nothing anyone could do but, I guess, sit around as they just send us out to die. At least that’s what Mom said, so now I’m out here. Waiting just like Carson.” Sparks crossed his arms, turning away from Horner.

Sparks’ statements hint at anger. It was the most emotion Sparks gave since he had arrived. Horner wondered what to say to the grieving man, not wanting to upset him further.

Horner peered toward Sparks’ journal, “Technically, you don’t have to.”

Sparks slowly turned to Horner, interested in what he had to say.

“It’s your life. No one is forcing you to stay.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s a million other jobs. You think I’m here because I wanted to? I just wanted to help. You don’t have to be a USSA agent.”

Sparks seemed to take the words to heart, glancing forward instead of upwards to Horner.

“If anything, maybe just wait until the war’s over. Seems like a win-win. If you get shot and die, you die a hero. If you survive, go off and do whatever you wish.”

“But what if I’m not good at it?”

“Who’s judging? Certainly not me.” Horner walked past Sparks, collapsing into the bed behind him.

He heard Sparks shuffling around, causing him to look up and see Sparks opening his journal again.

“If you ask me, you might have a shot at architecture.” Sparks stopped at a random page, staring at it.

“It’s too different, though. I’m already this far into training. Why would I start over?” Sparks continued staring. Horner assumed it was the page with Carson in the corner, considering how he looked endearingly.

Horner began to think, turning his head to look upwards, seeing the bottom of the top bunk bed.

“What about a marshal?” Sparks spoke up.

“What?”

“Carson used to say if he didn’t make captain, he would become a marshal.”

“Why the hell would he say that? A marshal? They’re completely different!”

“I don’t know, actually. I think it’s cause he always hated moving into twenty different homes in the span of a year.”

Horner thought about it, eventually agreeing, “I guess that’s true. It is nice not worrying about packing up and starting over again. I’m pretty they pay pretty poorly since, y’know, they don’t really work for the USSA.”

“They don’t?”

“Nah. They mainly patrol on one planet and just make sure it’s safe. There’s not too much space for the USSA to be part of it. Maybe you get the same connections, but it’s certainly not USSA signing your paycheck.”

A wave of silence fell in the room.

“So, should I be a marshal?”

Horner shrugged, unsure if Sparks even saw the action, “It’s all on you, kid. You get to decide what to do with your life; don’t let anything else control your life.”

And just like that, Sparks had turned off the desk lamp. Leaving the two in pitch darkness.