Work Text:
"All of my life has been filled with my parents demand's, following their orders even if the orders are harsh to eight year old. That's what oldest has to do right?
°°°
[Carry your family, don't bring the family's name to shame.]
[look at the neighbor's daughter, why can't you be like her?]
[you're crying? wipe those off, set a great example for your siblings.]
°°°
I wonder when was the last time I had a genuine smile plastered on my face."
"It was my first year in high school, that's when I bump to her. The day of the election of school's president, she speak her thoughts and deliver it confidently without a care. It didn't bother her that her prompts were weird, or abnormal. Why? Why did the students clap their hands? it doesn't make sense, there's much a reasonable and better prompt from the opponents than hers. Why...? why damn it?"
"That was the first time I cursed, the first time in my nineteen years. Who is she? Nothing about her makes sense, she's bold then awkward the next. She's expressive, but has a poker face. How can't people see it? Are they blinded by her beauty, or is it because her sweet words? I never once have this level of obesity of something, or someone... I need to get to the bottom of this."
"Then I did something, the first promise I broke to my family. I write a love confession, and put it inside her locker. Like hell the letters I wrote was copy pasted from the internet, would you believe she actually accepted it? I went to my first ever date, I had to snuck out at that time."
"The longer we talked, the unnoticeable details become clear as the sky. The more she talks, the more how addictive it was to hear. Her eyes are the darkest stars, but the loveliest to see. Don't even get me started with her lips... soft, and pretty. It's even prettier when she smiles, I love it everytime. As her lips curve a gentle smile, I want to kiss it. Kiss it lightly, while savoring it. Oh God...did I really thought of that?"
"In this school, everyone's mouth to someone else's ear. The news of our date went like wildfire, my classmates start to tease me. It's understandably enough, considering I'm a straight A+ students who has books as their lover. Never once gone on a date, hang out, even using the phone. Those three I did just in a day, for this girl. What am I even doing? My parents gonna fucking kill me... but these feelings, I can't lie that my body feels warm in the winter, these heartbeats of mine racing as it explodes, and the palms of my hands getting moist."
---
"Does love at first sight really exist...? The undeniable proof is us, us going on dates, holding hands, face timing, even kissing each other for the past two years. Those moments happen, those memories we make exist. Times flies when I'm with you, and slow down when you're not near. And that kills me, I have some sleepless nights as I await for morning comes just so I can see you again."
"I know I should be asleep, seven hours is good for the human body. But this body of mine, it aches and refused it just for you. Late night texts was your favorite, it's when you can have a deep talk with someone. That someone is me, and I'll cherish it. Every single of it, each letters, words, sentences, chat bubbles. If love at first sight doesn't exist, then so do I."
"Memories, proofs, My morals. They faded, it got destroyed quickly. As my parents found out, I was in pressure. Dropping grades, unhealthy screen time, not enough studying, even us. I was the lowest I've been, I had no choice to break up with her. I slowly regain my focus on studying, I must get my degree and make my parents proud. But why... does it feel different now."
---
"Years have passed, my grades went back like it was before. But I didn't make me happy, nothing did. I don't know if it was fate, or my kind of luck that brought me there. The first in my lifetime, I went to a bar with my friends in celebration of our graduation. I wasn't in the mood to get drunk, but that brought me to a chance I never want to miss."
"When I was vomiting in the restroom's sink, that's when I see the same goddess walk in. How embarrassing can I look like...? So drunk that I walk into the girl's restroom, or so drunk that I want to kiss you so badly after all those years. I wipe the drool off my mouth, saying a single word as you were about to leave. [Stay], stay with me forever if you must."
"I like the way you kiss me, it's like home for me. I'm selfish to ask for it after years, we broken up. I wouldn't lie that it pains me that you dodge my touch, flinch whenever I got close. I've realized I never know what your thoughts are, you're doing it right now. You, with that uncomfortable gaze of yours... but what's that hesitant tension in your eyes. I want my life back, the life with us written in it..."
"After that awkward encounter, my thoughts went to a spiral of abyss. Back then I was oblivious, obliviously effected by my parents. Choosing those uninteresting studying times, than You. If only I had the courage, the decisiveness, the capabilities to choose what I want like you do. Fuck... If I say I miss you, will you stay... please."
"One last ring, this is the last time I'll call you. I'm anxious, have you changed your phone number? or have you blocked mine...? I'm dying from these meaningless negative thoughts of mine, you're the alcohol I drink every seconds. But I wouldn't blame you, I could never."
"Everytime the ringgings keep going to endless cycle, it drives me to more depressed state. I don't know what's gonna happen, or what am I going to do. I called you without thinking, what would I do if you do pick up? or worse... what if you don't pick up? Will I be force to forget you... I don't want to, I want to stay even if you leave."
"A single [Hello?] can be heard from the other side, as I quickly pick up my phone and shaken up with the whole deal. For once in my life, I cried. I broke down, as I couldn't hold up my walls anymore. I feel loved without no judgment after my twenty-one years, eighteen years living at the place you called home."
"I can tell you miss me like how I miss you. It's noticeable by the way you look, the same hesitation you had after you arrived at my place in a heartbeat. You pull me into your heated body, as your caressing touch makes me feel warm and loved, just like every
home would feel"
"This is my home, the only place I want to stick around for. Even after all these comfort, and reassurance touch from you. I'm scared, I'm too afraid to face you since I have let you down. [I'm proud, I'm so proud of you]. Your voice has never changed, always soothing and comforting me. Is that true though...? I want to see it." (Afraid to face you = Her eyes closed shut)
"Stars must have been such a beauty to have meteors on earth, because I know I have fallen once more. Back then you didn't flinch, nor you dodged because of me. It happens because you were holding it back, so you don't get attached any further. It's the truth, after seeing the gentle smile you make once more, the way you softly rub my back, and how you talk with that calm tone.
"Same place, time, person, this exact moment. No matter how many times we kissed, It brings me back to our first kiss, it doesn't matter if your lips were chapped or dry. It's the same for me, your lips are sweeter and more tender than the last. My life is back, and I'll never let it go anymore. Sorry for making you wait, and thank you for always accepting me."