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It was the night of your perfomance and you'd be lying if you said your eyes weren't skimming the audience for him. You had specifically invited him. And he had promised he'd be there. You'd also be lying if you said you totally didn't almost forget your next line when his eyes, hidden in the darkened crowd, met yours, under the spotlight up on stage. But thankfully only almost. You did what you were doing with passion after all and being a professional was almost natural, even in the midst of going through love-struck emotions.
Eventually the night came to an end; with a big round of applause from the crowd and the actors bowing with wide smiles and sweaty foreheads to show their gratitude, their hearts still beating fast from the adrenaline of an exciting night. But your heart was beating for one more other reason. And that reason greeted you at the exit of the building after you had disappeared behind the stage to take off your costume and makeup and shared fond laughter with your co-actors before saying your goodbyes.
Seeing his frame, casually leaned against the building, the scarf around his neck and the colorful autumn leaves beneath his feet, the glasses sitting perfectly on his already gorgeous face, and then the thought of him waiting for you filled your heart with even more affection for him than you thought was even possible.
"Hey," Keiji greeted you. "You don't mind walking back together, do you?"
Your breath got caught in your throat at the sound of his voice. How unfair it felt that you couldn't just grab his hands and pull him into a kiss right then and there. With the shaking of your head you let him know that you didn't mind.
So you both started walking next to each other in silence. Although you couldn't be too sure whether, just maybe, your loudly thumping heart wasn't echoing through the quiet street that was illuminated by yellow streetlights and the headlights of some passing cars anyway.
The exhaustion of the night was starting to dawn on you with every step you were taking and there was nothing you wanted more than to flop on your bed. Well, maybe flop onto your bed in his embrace and- gosh, just what were you thinking again? You mentally shook the image of cuddling with your friend in your bed out of your head, trying to focus on more appropiate thoughts when you suddenly had to sneeze, and immediatly one more time and then a third time in a row. A shiver ran down your spine. You must have underestimated how cold it would be after the show. It was always hard to tell when you sweated so much during practice and shows, getting so lost in the heat and excitement of the moment that you were prone to forgetting to check the weather or straight up misjudge it.
"Don't you have a thicker jacket with you?" Keiji asked while handing you a pack of tissues as you were sniffing your nose and scrambling through your own bag, looking for some tissues yourself. With an awkward smile you took the pack of tissues he was holding out for you and muttered a quiet 'thanks'.
"Didn't think it'd be this cold," you admitted after blowing your nose.
"Here."
You watched as he took off his own scarf and before you could even protest he loosely wrapped the scarf around your neck, his hands then sliding back inside his jacket's pockets again.
It's freshly washed, you noticed as the sweet smell of fabric softener reached your nose, mixed with a hint of his own cologne. Oh, how it smelled like home to you.
"You really didn't have to," you tried your best to sound casual about it and hoped your hot red cheeks didn't give away how embarassed you were really feeling. Perhaps he wouldn't notice it in the dark, at least that's how you consoled yourself.
"I wanted to. Besides, I'm not that cold. You on the other hand.. just make sure not to get sick. Take a shower once you're home and make yourself some hot tea."
"Ok mom," you laughed while properly fixing the scarf around your neck, to which he just subtly rolled his eyes and let out a sigh. He was already used to your antics and felt no need to reply.
As you walked in the quiet of the night you stole quick glances into the houses that had a light on. Being the observant person that he was, Keiji slightly shook his head.
"You know, it's rude to look into people's houses like that."
"Their fault for leaving the curtains AND the lights on," you defended yourself, knowing very well it wasn't a good enough excuse to invade people's privacy like that. But how could you help it when there was so much life to see even in the dead of night. You had no bad intentions after all and were simply fascinated by all the different lifes being led around you by people you'd probably never get to know. He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off before he could.
"Did you enjoy the show? It was the first one you came to see, right?" You changed the topic and he was kind enough to let you.
"It was the first one you ever invited me to."
"True. You don't need a special invite though."
"Perhaps.." he agreed. "If it makes you feel better though, I do plan on coming to your upcoming shows more often from now on."
"So you enjoyed it," you concluded.
"I enjoyed it," he affirmed, a hint of amusement in his tone. "And I'm sorry you didn't get the lead role like you wanted but to be completely honest with you, I'm glad you didn't get it."
"Why's that?" You snorted, half playfully and half seriously offended. "You think my acting is not good enough to get the lead role?"
"Not at all. I think you'd be a perfect lead."
"What's the matter then?"
Infront of the big window of a closed café he suddenly stopped and you followed right after, watching him curiously as he looked at his own dim reflection on the dark glass. He seemed to be thinking of how to word his thoughts properly or maybe he was hesitant to say what was on his mind. You weren't quite sure which one it was so you just waited.
"Have you ever kissed anyone on stage?"
Your heart skipped a beat. The main lead's of tonight's show had shared quite the passionate kiss, you remembered, scripted but still passionate. And he was straight forward as always. You should've been used to it by now but the question still caught you so off guard that you weren't sure if you heard him right.
"Why?" You decided to tease, to try and prevent the conversation from becoming an awkward mess. "Would that bother you?"
"Yes."
Oh. He was serious.
You just stared at him, standing right infront of you, with some sort of disbelief, and he stared right back at you with anticipation; both of you unbothered by the few strangers passing you by and giving you guys curious looks, as if they knew there was some sort of tension in the air between you two and they were dying to know what would happen next.
"Wait, you're joking right?" You started slowly and let out a nervous chuckle, feeling your heart start racing faster behind your ribs.
"No, I'm not. It really would bother me." He was staring into your eyes with such an intensity that you were unable to break his gaze despite how nervous it made you feel.
"Oh.." is all that came out of your mouth as your brain was frantically trying to make sense of the situation and find the right words to say; in vain.
"You get what I mean, right?"
You opened your mouth, desperately wanting to say something but it just embarassingly stayed open like that since no words came out. Your brain still seemed to be processing and didn't give your voice permission to speak up just yet.
And to your surprise a fond smile appeared on his lips. You closed your mouth again.
"That was pretty sudden, sorry, I guess my timing wasn't the best but.. I really like you. I just needed you to know that, even if you don't feel the same."
"I do!" You finally blurted out, not sure if the silence in the dead of night made your confession more emberassing than it would've been if people were around. The curious strangers who had just passed you by probably would've loved to see this go down.
If there was one thing you hated about your friend, it was that you could barely ever read his expression. But you had a feeling that your words caught him off-guard. And that feeling clearly hadn't betrayed you when you noticed the way his eyes ever so slightly widened and he said, "You do?" with a hint of surpise in his tone, as if he had prepared himself to get rejected instead of hearing that you did feel the same as him.
"I do! I like you too. A lot even! And you have no idea how happy you make me." Your brain finally seemed to have processed the situation and you no longer wanted to hold back your true feelings. Not when he had taken that first step that you had been too scared to take all this time, taking the worry of rejection off of your shoulders. Not when you had been holding back all this time that it felt like you'd go crazy if you had to hold it all back any longer.
He blinked a few times before his confused expression turned into a smile. A smile you hadn't seen on his face ever before. A smile that made your heart flutter like crazy inside your chest. A smile that made you want to cup his face in your palms and place a billion tiny kisses on his face. Hesitantly he took his hands out of his pockets and held them out for you to hold.
"May I?" He asked, a hope presence in his voice that wasn't there before.
Instead of answering you took a step closer and placed your hands in his. They were colder than you expected and somehow still made you feel warm inside.
"You still didn't answer my question," he reminded you as he gently pulled you closer to him by your hands and put them both inside his pockets on each side of his jacket.
The sudden closeness certainly did not help your beating heart to calm down, though you were endeared to see a light blush on his cheeks matching your own, and in an attempt to hide your flushed face you tried to wiggle your face deeper into his scarf.
"No," you shook your head, avoiding his gaze. It felt way too intense keep looking at him when he was this close to your face. You were scared your knees would give up on you so you turned your head to the side and watched as a few cars passed you by.
"What if you do get the lead role in a future play where you end up having to kiss someone?" He wanted to know and you weren't sure if what you heard in his voice was sadness or concern.
He just didn't wanna let this go, stubborn Keiji, as always, you thought and laughed a bit nervously.
"Hmm.. I could, I don't know, maybe close my eyes and pretend it's you," you teased him, still making a point to avoid looking directly at him, though you couldn't help stealing a quick glance just to see his reaction. You were surprised to see the way he was affectionately smiling at you.
"I prefer you don't do that. Guess I'll be the one who'll have to close his eyes and patiently wait for it to be over." He didn't sound too happy about this option either but it definetly seemed easier on him than to watch you kiss someone other than him.
"Even if it should come to that it would never mean anything to me," you reassured him quickly, feeling a bit bolder to more or less meet his gaze again. Honestly you didn't like the idea of him kissing another girl either even if it wasn't "serious" so you totally understood where he was coming from and contrary to him you didn't think you would've actually been able to keep your calm about it the way that he was.
"Or you'll have to get into theater," you suggested half jokingly, "and apply for the other lead role so I'll get to kiss you on stage infront of everybody."
"I'd be a terrible actor," he said with a light smile, his own heart racing with the thought of his lips on yours. His affection filled gaze was locked deeply onto your eyes, ignoring any people and cars passing you by.
"Hopefully not a terrible kisser though."
You were staring back into his eyes with a dumbfounded smile, barely caring about the words that so easily slipped from your tongue anymore.
"There's a way to find out," he declared and you both knew there was nothing left to say after that. As they say, actions speak louder.
He let go of one of your hands and placed his cold hand on your flushed warm cheek. Out of instinct you squeezed his other hand a bit tighter as your heartbeat started taking up pace again, to which he replied with drawing gentle circles on your hand with his thumb. Was this real? You were convienced you were about to wake up any second now, someone would shake you awake from this daydream that you had lost yourself in as you looked into his eyes, but that didn't happen. Nobody shook you awake. You didn't open your eyes from a too-good-to-be-true dream either. Instead you closed your eyes and slightly lifted your head, letting his hand on your cheek lead you to his surprisingly warm lips; slightly chapped from the cold but sweeter than anything you had ever felt before.
It was a brief kiss that you both pulled away from quicker than either of you wanted, which didn't make it feel any less meaningful.
His thumb gently caressed your cheek as his eyes couldn't decide what part of your face he should focus on until they eventually landed on your eyes again.
"Good enough for your taste?" He asked and you looked at him with a hint of mischief glistening in your eyes.
"Hmm.. well, it was too quick to tell. I'll need another one to properly judge that."
He let out an amused huff through his nose, the corners of his lips twitching up to a smile he was trying to suppress. The hand he was holding yours with inside his pocket let go of it to cup your face in the palms of his hands as he leaned in for another kiss which you were more than happy to receive. And you knew you would never apply for a role that would require you to share a kiss with anyone else. Especially not after you finally got the one kiss you'd longed for for as far as you could remember. A real one.