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The first thing Chris notices as he slowly returns to consciousness is the smell of antiseptic. Then he slowly becomes aware of the gently beeping machine over his head and the firm surface he’s lying on and adds it all together. Somehow, he’s landed himself in a hospital again.
“Chris.” Someone whispers his name. He opens his eyes to find Phil wearing a relieved grin. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Chris croaks. Before he can even ask, Phil lifts a straw to his lips. Chris sucks on it gratefully. When he tries to speak again, his mouth no longer feels like it’s filled with sand. “What - what happened?”
Phil sets down the cup of water and takes Chris’ hand. “You’ve been in a coma,” he says gently. “How do you feel?”
Chris starts to answer “fine” before he sees Phil’s knowing gaze and stops for a moment to take inventory of his body. His throat has a strange ache and his head seems to be floating just a little bit, probably the side effect of some medication. And his legs feel weird. He tries to wiggle his toes, but he’s not sure if they actually move, so he looks down to check.
And then he sees the straps around his arms. “Phil,” he hears himself say. “Why am I restrained?”
Phil’s brow furrows. “It’s okay, Chrissy,” he says, stroking the back of Chris’ hand with his thumb. A forced smile doesn’t quite make it to his eyes. “You don’t need to worry about that right now.”
“Phil, please.” His partner’s name escapes his lips in a desperate whine. “Tell me what happened.”
Chris feels his heart drop into his stomach as Phil turns his head away. His shoulders rise and fall. “You’re under investigation.”
“Investigation?” Chris repeats. “For what?”
Phil looks back at him. “What’s the last thing you remember?”
He manages to calm his breathing enough to sift through fuzzy memories. “Enterprise,” he recalls, trying to make the pieces fit together. “I was…touring Enterprise?”
His partner shakes his head. “It wasn’t a tour. Enterprise was called on an emergency mission to Vulcan,” Phil explains. “They were under attack by a Romulan who forced you to board his ship.” His thumb resumes its steady rhythm across Chris’ hand. “You…gave him Earth’s defense codes.”
The hospital room tilts abruptly. “What?” Chris gasps. “No, I didn’t. I couldn’t…”He shakes his head hard, not caring that it only makes the world slip further off its axis. New fragments of memory start to arise and he shakes his head hard, not caring that it only makes the world slip further off its axis. “Oh my God, Phil, what have I done?”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Phil quickly assures him. “You didn’t have a choice, he-”
“He destroyed Vulcan,” Chris recalls. “I couldn’t stop him and then I gave him Earth.” He tries to sit up before remembering that his body is still being held down by restraints. “What did he do? How many people did I kill?”
Phil places his hand on Chris’ chest. “Chrissy, you have to calm down.” Distantly, he registers a beeping noise and realizes that Phil has let go of his hand. “You’re okay. I just need you to breathe, okay?”
The small part of Chris’ brain that isn’t panicking manages to parse Phil’s instructions. He tries to draw in a breath but there’s no air left in the room. “Phil,” he gasps, making an unsuccessful attempt to reach for his husband.
“It’s okay.” Phil’s tone somehow remains steady as the beeping grows louder. He sounds like he’s talking to his lover, not the killer that Chris is. “Just follow my breathing.”
Chris tries again to get up. He has to get out of here, to fix what he’s done. “Can’t,” he chokes out. “Help.”
Phil’s eyes are full of pain as he touches his cheek. “Okay,” he whispers. “It’s going to be okay, Chrissy.” There’s a sudden pressure in Chris’ neck, and the world slowly fades away.