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In the quiet of the night, Zayne longs.
Not for anything, or anybody. At least that's what she tells herself. Deep inside, though, she knows.
She's missing you.
Zayne hasn't seen you in a few days. The last time she did you told her you'd be quite busy, trying to work overtime so that you could afford buying more medicine for your sick grandma. She offered to help you pay, but you refused.
It doesn't help that today was quite uneventful, there's nothing to keep her mind busy as she lays down on the veranda of her small home, looking at the starry sky.
As a physician, days where nothing special occurred were rare. Especially when working in a small rural town. Usually, people would come with deep wounds that they've let fester for a long time since they couldn't afford a medic, and were scared of the fee being too high. But today was one of those days.
The most exciting thing that happened was when one of the kids Zayne treated once came to show her the tooth that fell out of her mouth. It was adorable seeing how the kids warmed up to her after some time, even though it wasn’t what she needed for today.
The townsfolk didn't like Zayne at first. She came from the capital, so it was a given they wouldn’t. Her robes were neat and made of quality material, so they knew she must have money. Another stuck up rich kid that wanted to play savior was most likely their first impression. They believed she would rob them blind, arguing that her treatments would of course be more expensive since she had the expertise of the capital and that she was doing them a favor by coming here to help these undeserving hicks, just like all the others have done.
They didn't know that Zayne was not like that. She would never deceive any of her patients in such a way. If anything, she'd lower the price from what it actually was if necessary. She didn't do this for money, she wanted to help lives. That’s why she came here in the first place.
Everything changed the day you took your grandma to see her. She was having a fever, but she swore she was fine, it was just the hotness of the day. She couldn't fool you. Your grandma hadn't been feeling well for a while, she was too old. Her body ached a lot, yet she wouldn't stop working. "The day i don't pick up a needle again, it's the day i die", she’d often say.
You insisted on bringing her to Zayne's consultory. It was empty, which gave you an odd feeling but you didn't care, your grandma needed help and that was your priority. Zayne immediately brought you two in and started checking up on your grandmother, asking her questions. She gave her medicine and prescribed her urgent bedrest for a few days. It was not a permanent fix, but it’ll do for now.
You were concerned over the money, telling her that you'd pay her back as soon as you could, but Zayne said it was of no consequence. It was just some medicine, she didn’t really do anything, so nothing was owed. The kind gesture made you a bit emotional, tears welling up in your eyes as you ignored your grandma yelling at you to stop embarrassing her.
From then on, you made sure to spread the word about Zayne, telling everyone who listened and even those who didn’t that she was a kind physician that cared for her patients in the best way. It helped her consultory, more and more people started coming after that. Zayne was truly grateful, though a bit embarrassed.
When you saw her on the streets you would salute her enthusiastically, alerting everyone of her presence when you shouted her name as hard as you could. You’d bow and smile at her and Zayne's heart would skip a beat.
The next time you went to Zayne's consultory, you invited her to dinner. After receiving your first pay after a full month of hardwork you reasoned you needed to return her kindness.
Zayne tried to decline, saying that it was not necessary at all, but you were stubborn, you wouldn't accept a no as an answer. So you dragged her to a small inn around the outskirts of the town where the meals were great and pretty cheap, though she didn’t need to know that last part. The food was nice, the company even nicer.
You asked her all sorts of questions, and she tried to get some in too, not wanting to be rude and appear uninterested. But Zayne's head was spinning, you had a fast mouth.
As the night went on, you told her about how you tried to help your grandma with the shoe business, but seeing your lack of talent in this area she thought you'd be a better fit at the rice fields. At least that way you would make money and not ruin her hard day’s work with your poor excuse of helping. You felt bad about it, not wanting to be a bother so you worked as hard as possible to bring money home.
“She’s actually not my real grandmother, you know. She just took me in when i was very little”, you confided in her, in a low hushed tone like you were letting her in a secret. “That’s why I work as hard as I can, I don't wanna be a nuisance”. You tried to laugh it off a little, not wanting to let it show how much it weighed on you, but it was no use. It was written all over your face.
In exchange, seeing how you opened up to her as if you already trusted her, she told you as best as she could the reason why she came to this town. It was an amalgamation of multiple factors, with only one thing outweighing the others for her:
Life in the capital had become stifling, the people that had known her since she was kid beginning to irritate her more and more, butting into and giving unsolicited advice about how she should run her life, how she needed to find a husband as fast as possible as she was not getting any younger.
The weight of the stares had also become unbearable. As Zayne grew older, so did her boldness. Instead of wearing the same robes that were designed for all the young ladies, her wardrobe consisted exclusively of male ones. She liked them better, she felt more like herself in them.
Because of her big change, the gossip turned terrible, to the point some patients even refused to continue being treated by her. Her being a woman already made her clientele smaller than it should’ve been, and now her daring rebellion cost her even more. But none of that was what put the nail in the coffin in the end, she could live with all of it, the opinions of others bearing no importance to her.
It was what the medical business was starting to turn into in the place she used to call home that did it for her. All the other physicians only started to care about profit and squeezing every single penny from as many poor patients as they could. She couldn’t stand seeing so-called colleagues, men and women that had known her most of her life, turn into money obsessed bastards.
So she left, looking for somewhere where she might actually end up making a change, however small it was. She needed a fresh start too. Going somewhere where no one knew of her, where no one had any expectations or preconceived opinions of her, it sounded like a dream. It wouldn’t all be easy, of course she knew that. With her being an outsider and everything it was more possible she would not be welcomed at all and more problems would be created, but it was worth trying at least.
You were moved by her story, her bravery making you grow a newfound appreciation for your kind physician and it made you see her in a new light.
After that night, recounting stories and laying bare small pieces of both of your souls, you two became friends somewhat. With you not missing a day without going to her consultory after work.
You spent a lot of time together now, your frequent visits becoming part of both of your daily schedules. It was easy, spending time with you. You didn't question why she chose to wear her hair short, or why she wore men's robe too big on her frame. You simply accepted these things as a part of her. You didn't look at her funny, not in the same way everyone else did.
Feeling accepted was weird. Even though Zayne's parents had been as loving as they could, even they had moments where they would look at her and she could just tell they were wondering when she would just stop and be like everybody else. They never said it out loud, but there was no need, Zayne could tell. She always did.
The more time you two spent together the shyer you got around her. You’d look down and your eyes would suddenly flicker towards her, taking her in and sucking in a breath, then your gaze would be back down to the floor again, playing with your fingers anxiously.
That's exactly what you were doing right now, as she finished bandaging your foot. You had sprained your ankle after making the wrong movement while working, two of your coworkers bringing you in, despite you insisting that you didn’t need any help. Now you two were completely alone, the air feeling a bit charged. You weren’t sure why.
Feeling ashamed, you kept messing with your hands, trying to get rid of the dirt from under your nails. Zayne's hands were always clean, not a speck of dirt to be seen on them. ‘She’s probably disgusted by me’, was the thought that kept ringing inside your head over and over, even though you knew Zayne would never think that way, she was not like that.
She was too kind, too good for you. At least that was what you told yourself every time your mind conjured any of those weird thoughts you had about her. Just recalling those idiotic ideas had you feeling quite hot.
Your physician took notice of your sheepish attitude and realized with a grimace what you were most likely thinking. She felt slightly offended, but that was not what mattered right now.
She took a basin and filled it with water from one of the big containers she had in her consultory. Afterwards, she sat down in front of you and began to wash your hands like they were the most delicate possession she had ever held. You were in shock, there was no reason for her to treat you like this, you were nothing more than a lowly peasant. If anything, it should be you treating her this way, she came from a high status, a family full of royal physicians.
But of course Zayne couldn’t care less about something as insignificant as social status. You were you, and that already was enough reason to treat you with all the reverence in the world. Just like you deserved.
After she finished, instead of letting your hand go she took them to her lips, and gently kissed your knuckles and the tips of your fingers one by one. She did the same thing to the other one. After she was done, instead of letting go she nuzzled her cheek with your hand. You were in a daze, the view in front of you impossible to believe and yet it was true, it was happening.
Her face was warm. You fondled her cheek, gracing your knuckles on it from time to time, going upwards, until your hand made its way towards her red ear, the skin growing more and more crimson by the second.
Zayne was beet red, panting a little. You had never seen her like this before, this new sight making your brain feel fuzzy, not a thought crossing inside your mind unless it was about how much you liked seeing her this way. Head bent low, eyes closed and mouth open to let out small breaths and occasional whimpers. Like she was coming undone.
You both stayed this way for a while, time passing slowly. Until someone came looking for Zayne, yelling about one of the old farmers needing assistance after fainting and hitting his head. Both of you flinching and separating as if you were caught doing something inappropriate.
Zayne got up in a haste, looking at you with your head bent down at the floor for a second before she went out rushing to help the poor man. When she came back, you were nowhere to be seen.
After that incident, she didn’t see you for a while. This made her feel terrible, convinced she had scared you off and now you didn’t want anything to do with her. Until you appeared again, even shyer than before, barely able to look her in the eyes. Neither of you talked about what happened, trying to let it fade like it never even occurred. It saddened Zayne, she was hoping for it to be the turning tide of your relationship, but she also didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. As long as you still wanted to be her friend, she’d be alright with anything.
But a few days ago, you invited her to see the stars.
"I know a place where we can see them, they look so beautiful from up there. I’d like to go with you. If you want, of course". Zayne had to strain her ears to hear the last part, your voice losing strength halfway as you grew timid again.
Zayne agreed. She would go anywhere with you if only you asked.
When the sun was starting to set you went to look for her at her consultory. You were panting, like you ran as fast as you could to get to her. Zayne was endeared. You took her to a rather big hill you had discovered a few weeks ago. It was surrounded with trees and beautiful flowers.
The walk to the hill was pleasant, idle chatter filling up the silence. Your tan skin from working on the fields held a rosy tint that day, most likely from the scorching summer sun. Zayne worried about you, you were working too hard while also not taking proper care of yourself. Did you even wear your hat? Were you drinking enough water? probably not. You're gonna be the death of her one day.
You two settled atop the slope, sitting down on the grass, next to a small field of jasmines that were being swayed by the slightly chilly wind.
The night sky looked beautiful from here, you were right.
A few minutes passed with both of you just contemplating the starry night, the only sound coming from the few animals in close proximity, until you decided to break the comfortable silence by calling her name, voice small and anxious:
"Zayne?", you sat up and looked over to her.
"What's wrong?", she asked. You seemed scared, she was concerned.
You closed your eyes and huffed out a breath, like you were mentally preparing to do something. Zayne had never been more confused in her life.
After opening your eyes you set your gaze on her again, a look of determination plastered in your face. Before she could question you once more, you pounced on her, pitting her arms to the sides and kissing her breathlessly.
The dark haired woman was stunned, she couldn’t process the thought of this really happening after fantasizing about it for as long as she could remember. She couldn’t even think about returning the kiss, staying inmobile like a marble statue.
Because of that, you started to think she didn’t actually want this. Embarrassed, you were about to get off her, profuse apologies on the tip of your tongue. However, it seemed like the physician had a change of heart. Before you could stand up, you felt Zayne’s hand on the nape of your head, bringing you back to her and kissing you within an inch of your life.
Now it was your turn to be shocked. Zayne took advantage of that, rolling you both around until she was on top of you. She continued kissing you like her life depended on it, adept hands traveling down your body and becoming acquainted with it without wasting a second.
It was a memorable night.
♡
Remembering the events of what Zayne deemed to be the best night of her life, she got a bit timid, feeling warm all over. She brought the pads of her fingers to touch her lips gently, the memory replaying vividly inside her head as she closed her eyes.
Tomorrow, you'll finally go to see her at her consultory again. That small piece of information brought a smile upon her face.
After waiting for days, just one more night shouldn’t feel this endless, but Zayne’s pining knows no bounds. All her life she had been longing for someone like you to come into her life and turn it upside down, and after finally finding you, she didn’t understand why she should keep waiting instead of taking what she wanted. She was a rational person, but when it came to you, all reason went out the door.
But it was alright, her lifelong self control prepared her for times like this. She’ll just stay like this for now, counting the stars and thinking of a certain someone. She kept tossing and turning as she did so, the same thoughts running through her mind over and over:
Zayne missed you. She wanted to see you again.
She wanted to kiss you too. Again, and again, and again.