Work Text:
The following is recovered footage from Villain Incident 563-45. Contains footage of unmasked villains. Special clearance is required. PRT Unsolved Case designation under review.
[First Recording] 11/2/10 7:27 P.M.
“—ere. The snitch has been fixed,” says villain-designate Leet. His mask is off, showing person-of-interest [redacted]. He appears to be showing clear signs of long-term sleep deprivation.
“Glad to know you’re still hanging around buddy.” Leet pets the camera.
“Food’s almost ready,” says a voice from off-camera.
Voice recognition matches it to villain-designate: Über.
“Awesome.” Leet moves the camera to a nearby shelf without deactivating it. A workbench comes into view with an assortment of battered and partly broken Tinkertech pieces.
Leet picks a mostly intact item and begins working on it. He opens the shell and begins Tinkering. Footsteps approach and a plate of food is placed on the workbench.
“So how much did we lose?” says Über . Only an arm is visible.
“We lost all of the Power-shrooms, the hammers, and the star machine. I think I can save the firehose backpack here. All in all, not our finest outing.” Leet slumps backwards into his chair.
“It’s getting ridiculously hard to make anything anymore [name redacted]. I’m starting to think I won’t be able to make small gadgets anymore. It felt like trying to push two magnets together for this batch,” says Leet.
“Which part is giving you the most trouble?” askes Über . He leans on Leet’s shoulder to overlook the workbench. “We talking like the energy sources or is it the programming or what?”
“I dunno exactly,” says Leet. He eats a forkful of spaghetti. “I’m— good job on dinner by the way — gonna try to figure that out tonight. I’ll need to poke around and see what’s still good. God I wish my power came with some kind of spreadsheet. If it can beam all these blueprints into my brain the least it could do is let me know exactly what I’m working with.”
“Yeah…Hey does that bit look cracked to you?” Über points at something inside the Tinkertech.
“Where? Wait, I see it.” Leet peers closer. “Yeah, that's the water tank. Good catch. I’ll whip up a new one real quick and transfer the contents. It’s still got a little less than half in there.”
Leet leaves to manufacture the part and returns several minutes later. He eats another bite of his dinner while pulling something out of the Tinkertech. He attaches it to a new part and turns to speak to Über , who has wandered off camera.
Then the Tinkertech erupts in a violent outburst of water.
The camera is knocked from its perch and bounces around for several seconds. It comes to a stop facing the floor with the sound of rushing water overpowering the microphone.
“[Name redacted]! Hey are you alright?!” calls out Über .
Leet responds with a stream of expletives that last for nearly two minutes straight. A sound determined to be a shoulder being popped back into place is recorded. Leet stops speaking.
Voices too quiet for the camera to accurately pick up are recorded.
Footsteps approach as the camera is picked up and carried. It is placed on a couch facing the workbench. It and the surrounding furniture has been severely damaged by the explosion. Pieces of spaghetti can be seen splattered on the walls.
Analysis has determined that a highly pressurized water tank ruptured and caused the explosion.
Leet is shown cradling his left arm and standing with his back to the camera. Über moves from behind the camera and begins picking up several items off the floor.
“Don’t fucking tell me,” says Leet. He rushed off camera and the sounds of metal objects clattering are audible. “Goddamn it!”
A piece of Tinkertech is hurled across the room and smashes into the wall with a loud clatter.
“What’s wrong [name redacted]?” asks Über .
“It’s the materials,” says Leet. He walks back into frame and begins pacing back and forth. “It’s the alloy I’ve been using. It’s way lighter than most metals which is why we’ve been able to haul everything around since my bottomless bag went kaput. But look at it now.”
Leet holds up a small metal cylinder. He squeezes and it easily crumples beneath his fingers.
“I thought I was being careful enough with how much I was using it. I only used it when I absolutely needed to and now…” Leet drops the cylinder. He walks behind the camera frame and presumably collapses onto the couch.
“I’m going to have to start from scratch with so many things now,” Leet groans. “I just…. I just…”
Leet begins crying.
Über also disappears behind the camera.
“Hey, [name redacted]. It’s alright. This ain’t the first time. You’ll get over this,” says Über . “You always do.”
“I’m sick and tired of ‘getting over it’,” sobs Leet. “I’m sick and tired of everything having a countdown till it’s useless. I’m sick and tired of being third rate.
“Look at me. I’ve got superpowers and every single day I can do less and less with them. I already can’t make any more robots or those holograms anymore. How much longer till I can’t make anything with metal at all? Am I gonna have to take a page out of goddamn Bonesaw’s book then?” Leet’s voice increases in intensity as he speaks.
Über is silent as Leet continues to breath shakily.
“Look, [name redacted] I don’t know about Tinkering but I know you. We’ve been doing this for years and I’ve seen you break past obstacle after obstacle. And I know that hasn’t been easy for you. But no matter what I’ve had your back and nothing is gonna change that, brother.
“How bout this: I’ll make some more spaghetti and we both just forget about being Über and Leet for the rest of the night. Tonight we’re just [names redacted]. Two guys against the world. That sound good to you?”
“...Fine,” says Leet waterily. “You sure you have to leave tomorrow?”
“Man I wish I didn’t but it’s my cousin’s wedding and I already promised them I’d be there. Hey, I know it’s last minute but why don’t you come with? I’m sure we can get you a hotel room.”
“You know I hate weddings,” says Leet. “Besides I don’t have a suit,” Leet sniffs loudly. “I’ll be fine. I’m probably gonna spend the whole time in a Tinker fugue and the whole week will go by in the blink of an eye. Thanks for offering though. Now how about getting me some of that spaghetti?”
The camera shifts slightly as the two rise from the couch.
Two hours of footage later
The water has been mopped up, Über has departed, and Leet is hunched over the remains of his workbench.
“Come on brain. Come on,” mutters Leet. “There’s gotta be something I can still make. Something physics based? …No, can't use that power source. Exosuit perhaps? …Yeah maybe if I use the flanges…no. No. Shit.”
He stands up. He begins smacking his head.
“Come on, think! Guns? No. Artificial limbs? Yeah sure just gotta cut an arm off for something that might blow up on you. Urghhh!”
He begins pacing.
“Maybe the issue is that I’m being too narrow? Yeah…yeah that’s it. I gotta get weird with it. I gotta do something nobody has done.
“Gotta think. Gotta get weird. Gotta break past the normal.” Leet holds his hand to his chin and begins to quietly mutter to himself. Suddenly Leet jerks his head to the side. He groans and clutches at his head.
A burst of static fills the screen as Leet lets out a yelp of pain. The static intensifies as Leet continues to moan ever louder and slumps to the floor. The static appears to resemble a shape hovering over Leet.
Then just as suddenly the static disappears. Leet sits up after several minutes, clutching at his skull.
“The hell was that? Power headache? Thought only Thinkers got those,” Leet mutters to himself. He walks offscreen for several minutes.
Eventually Leet wanders back into frame. Leet sits back down at the workbench. The camera footage begins to distort as Leet begins sketching something.
Analysis of the camera reveals no errors in the internal mechanisms. Cause of visual distortion is unknown at this time.
The distortion grows more and more prominent as Leet continues sketching. Eventually he holds up a blueprint. The camera only registers static in the area of the blueprint.
“This is what I’ve been looking for,” says Leet. His voice is filled with awe. “I was so blind before. Oh my god, the possibilities. How did I not see them before?”
Leet begins Tinkering. The camera footage continues to distort until an automatic process causes it to shut down.
[Second Recording] 11/10/2010 5:29 P.M.
“And we are live,” says Über . He is wearing a clearly fake muscle suit that causes him to appear as if he is wearing nothing but a short loincloth. A large sword is strapped to his back and he has a horned helmet on his head. The setting sun is visible behind his back.
“Sharp-eyed viewers might recognize my outfit as basically being my Hercules costume, or Heracles if you wanna be pedantic, from last year with a few changes. That’s because this time I am Conan the Barbarian.
“Now I can already here some of your complaints that we’ve strayed from our video game roots. To those people I can only offer a history lesson. In the ancient times known as the 1980s, there were primitive attempts at a game console known as the Amiga, the Commodore 64, and even the early Apple II computer.
“I won’t be surprised or upset that you haven’t heard of them. But please know that when I tell you that they made games for them and one of them was all about Conan, that I am telling you the truth.
“Now today we’ve got a surprise planned for both and, drumroll please, for me!” Über holds up a sheet of paper. “Leet has prepared a series of quests for me to complete. I must fetch the sacred jewels of Rahad, set free the Hounds of Ulthos, and finally track down the vile sorcerer, The Architect of the Outsiders.”
Über draws the oversized sword on his back. “By Crom’s Will”
Over the course of two hours Über then proceeds to rob a jewelry store and vandalize a pet store. He eludes pursuit by utilizing a hover scooter with a fake horse’s head attached and speaker projecting the sound of coconuts being clapped together.
The sky is fully dark by the time Über deciphers the clues to the Architect’s location. Über eventually arrives at Wilson Park.
The site of Incident 97-1.
“Hark vile sorcerer!” Über announces. The camera assumes a position above and behind Über ’s shoulder. The lamps in the park have been disabled and only a distant bonfire provides any illumination. The silhouettes of people can be seen sitting around the fire. None are moving.
“Christ Leet where the hell was this initiative for the Halloween special,” mutters Über .
Über approaches the bonfire on foot, his sword drawn but held loose in his hand.
“Hey Leet, I’m here,” Über calls out. There is no response from anyone. Über crouches to inspect one of the people surrounding the bonfire. They appear to all be unconscious civilians with ritualistic markings painted on their faces. Über rubs at one of the markings and it easily comes off in his fingers.
“Phew, almost thought there was some actual voodoo for a second there,” says Über as he straightens up. “Alright Leet, I’m here. Please don’t try to jumpscare me. That’s really not meshing with the whole evil sorcerer vibe.”
Über looks around not noticing as the camera zooms in on a figure walking towards the bonfire. The camera attempts to focus on the figure but no matter what it does the figure’s image does not become clear.
Possible Stranger effect noted . M/S Protocols have since been updated.
“There is no Leet here,” says the blurry figure. Voice recognition shows a 99% match to previous recordings of Leet. “I am the Architect of the Outsiders.”
“Oh there you ar—.” Über turns and freezes when he sees the figure. “Dude how’d you get that outfit to do that?” Über sheaths his sword and walks toward the figure. “It’s like making my eyeballs itch just looking at you.”
“I took your advice. I looked for stuff nobody had done before and I found a whole treasure trove of stuff. Gave me such a headache to start building it but eh. I got used to it. And I meant what I said by the way.
“Don’t call me Leet any more. I’m the Architect of the Outsiders. I’ll take Architect for short if you have to.” Architect begins to circle the bonfire, looking at the unconscious people around him.
“Ok, Le—Architect,” says Über . He shrugs. “Kinda wished you’d talked to me beforehand about rebranding ourselves. I mean we could have made a really cool video out of it but…” Über trails off.
“So are we gonna fight now or what?”
“We will. Just not each other,” says Architect. “I’ve got a whole bunch of new things to show off and no offense, I’m not sure I trust my old stuff to keep you safe from my new stuff.”
Über ’s shoulders visibly tense at the statement.
“Hey you didn’t get carried away while I was gone last week did you? I thought we agreed that we wouldn’t use anything seriously heavy in our videos.”
“Leet made that agreement. I’ve done no such thing.” Architect stops circling the bonfire and turns to stare off into the darkness.
“Leet, that’s not funny. We’re already gonna catch some more heat than usual since you knocked these people out. What’d you use anyway? Some more of that knock off Joker gas?”
Before Architect can respond, some powerful lights turn on and illuminate the park and temporarily blind the camera. When the camera adjusts it reveals Armsmaster standing in front of his motorcycle and Dauntless hovering above him. Both have their weapons in hand but are not brandishing them. The light source is the headlights from the motorcycle.
“ Über and Leet, you are ordered to release the hostages and surrender yourselves to Protectorate custody,” says Armsmaster. The bright light at his back keeps his face hidden in shadow.
“Hello Dauntless, Armsmaster,” says Architect. He steps closer towards the two heroes. Then he ascends into the air as if walking up steps.
“They aren’t hostages. They’re just asleep. The moment they wake up there’s absolutely nothing keeping them here,” says Architect. “I just need to make sure I got your attention.”
“Leet seriously this isn’t funny anymore,” says Über . He has taken several steps back from the heroes and is nervously fidgeting with his hands. “Just fly your ass over here and let’s go.”
“I’m not Leet anymore!. I’m the Architect of the Outsiders,” yells Architect turning to look at Über . “Leet was a loser who couldn’t tie his own shoes. I’m something better now.”
The heroes exchange glances and Armsmaster subtly shifts into an actual combat stance.
“It’s Architect now? Cool,” says Dauntless. He holds his spear at the ready and slowly approaches Architect. “Sounds like there’s been a lot of stuff going with you two. How about we all calm down and talk about stuff. Maybe we can all grab a coffee and swap stories.”
“That’s an interesting offer but I decline,” says Architect, turning back to face the heroes. He raises his hand and begins to speak but before he can finish a word Dauntless dives behind a tree, firing his Arclance.
Fighting ensues.
The last image the camera captures before it leaves to follow Über is of Dauntless being pierced by a white object that extends from the still blurry figure of Architect.
The camera catches up to Über as he reaches the hover scooter. He glances back at the fight, swears, then speeds off into the night. After several minutes he grabs the camera out of the air and turns it off.
[Third Recording] 11/11/2010 3:22 A.M.
“—as that [name redacted].” The camera is on a shelf looking over Über and Leet’s hideout. Über has removed the muscle suit and his mask. He has Architect pressed up against the wall and his expression is a mixture of fear and anger. The only part of Architect visible is an arm.
“You killed Dauntless. How could you do that? Why would you do that?”
“I didn’t kill him.”
“Bullshit you didn’t. Then why did he fall like that? What did you do to him?”
“All I did was [the following words have been considered untranslatable by WEDGDG analysts].”
“Say that again.” Architect repeats the previous statement.
“Ok now say it in words I can understand please.” Architect simply repeats the previous statement.
“I said. In words. I can. Understand,” says Über through his teeth.
“That’s as simple as I can make it. It’s not my fault you don’t understand the field of [untranslatable]. His heart will still beat. His lungs will still draw breath. And his brain should still show activity on an EKG. All the rats I tested my devices on do.”
Über lets go of Architect. He rubs his hands on his face and he begins to pace frantically around the room.
“Ok. Ok. He’s not dead. He is not dead. That works. They won’t Birdcage us just for stunning a guy. Hell the Empire regularly does worse and those assholes are still running around. Ok. So when will Dauntless be up and running again?”
“Never.”
Über freezes.
“What?”
“Dauntless won’t be fighting us anymore. The [untranslatable] can’t be undone unless I [untranslatable]. Unless I do that then Dauntless is just going to putter around whatever room they stick him in and he might start drawing on the walls. And he’s going to stay like that.”
Über looks at Architect in horror.
“[name redacted] Why would you do that? Jesus Christ why?”
“I needed to show this city that I’m not Leet anymore. That I’m not the butt of the joke, barely above the Merchants.”
“No you fucking idiot what you’ve done is paint a great big target on our backs. Once they figure out you’ve permanently…whatever you’ve done they will come for us. And we can’t fight them off like the Empire or the ABB.”
“That’s where you’re wrong my friend,” says Architect. He walks out of the camera’s field of view.
The sound of a door opening is heard. Über walks forward then recoils. He rapidly backs up and falls backwards over the couch. Distortion creeps into the edge of the screen.
“The fuck is all that?”
“My new stuff. Once I got past my Tinker block I found there were countless ideas and designs just ripe for the taking,” says Architect from off screen.
“What the fuck is making that noise,” says Über , clasping his hands over his head.
The camera is not picking up any sound other than the two conversing.
“This one.” A quiet clatter is heard. “It’s making a noise because I couldn’t fully make the proper nursery for it. It’ll quiet down once it’s fully grown. Then I can use it for ammo that’ll really do something fun once they hit something organic.
“But that’s nothing compared to the rest of it. Once I get the sand maker up and running, anyone who tries coming after us will become a very memorable lesson for the rest of the world. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I feel like I did when I first got my powers. My brain is just bursting with ideas.”
“[Name redacted] this is going way too far. You’ve gotta stop this. Now,” says Über, getting up from the couch.
“I think your powers have gone to your head man. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of cool new stuff you make but listen to me. We can’t fight the whole Protectorate. And even if we do they’ll just call in Legend or god forbid Eidolon if we keep winning.”
“[Name redacted]. What happened to the guy who’d stick by me, through thick and thin,” says Architect. He steps into frame. The camera still fails to bring him into focus.
“He’s standing here wondering what the hell happened to the guy worth sticking to through thick and thin.”
Architect pauses for a moment. Then he starts grabbing things near the camera and throwing them at Über . Über catches them effortlessly.
“Fuck you! I’ve finally found a way to earn us some respect and you want to keep being a joke?”
Architect grabs the camera and throws it at Über . Über grabs the camera and holds it to his chest. Only Über ’s face and neck are visible.
“[Name redacted]. Please. It’s not too late. We can still fix this. You send the Protectorate the cure to whatever you did to Dauntless and we leave Brockton Bay. I doubt they’ll let us stay here after tonight no matter what we do. Maybe we could head to the West Coast. Carve a little niche in Portland or somewhere.
“Please, [name redacted].”
“Get. Out,” says Architect. “I’m letting you go for old times sake but if you’re not with me now then get out. We’re done.”
“Fine,” says Über . Tears begin falling down his face. He keeps hold of the camera as he turns to leave.
The last footage of Architect shows an indistinct figure standing near an open doorway that seems to be full of static. The same shape from before appears to be looming above Architect’s head but the video quality is too poor to accurately determine what it is.
WEDGDG analysis is still in progress.
Over the course of the next three weeks Architect engages every major player in Brockton Bay alone and emerges the victor. He disables Aegis, Alabaster, Oni Lee, and Menja during this time.
Über surrenders himself to PRT custody after this point and provides the preceding videos.
The leading hypotheses on what caused Architect's change of behavior are included in the following document.
Efforts to neutralize Architect are still underway.