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Mina sighs, in a way that makes Izuku feel small. Like he's not understanding, like she's fed up with trying to get him to understand. But her eyes, golden eyes bright against black, are soft. She grabs his hand over the table, gives it a light squeeze.
"Midori... I shouldn't be saying this, because it's such a precious secret of hers... but I can't sit here and watch you both tear yourselves apart for, like, no reason."
"Wait, but if it's a secret—"
"Midoriya, Ochako's kept this close to her heart since our first year. And I know she wanted to tell you, but I know she won't. And if I don't tell you now, she'll leave and who knows when we'll see her again? I know you know that, and I know it's killing you on the inside."
"Well, yeah. Uraraka's my best friend and there's so much..." Izuku has a far away look in his eyes for a short moment, "left unsaid. But—"
"You're in love with her?"
The snow outside is falling slowly but surely. The News this morning said that by nightfall, there'd be about three inches of snow on the ground. By tomorrow morning, triple that. Streets and railways are likely to shut down until it can be cleared safely.
The cold and the white remind him of her. Ochako's smile when she's talking about her day, her laugh after dropping snow on his head, her pout when he does it back...
To Izuku, Ochako is the winter, she is the snow, she is the joy of the season.
Unfortunately, he can't come up with some poetic reason why; Ochako just is .
"I am," Izuku finally replies, though quietly. Barely above a breath, honestly.
Mina's face melts into a smile, much like his mother's when he admitted to being afraid of the dark years and years ago. "And without a shadow of a doubt, Midoriya Izuku, Ochako loves you too. And I think a part of her is hoping it'll be you that asks her to stay. Because she knows you're the only one that has that much influence on her heart. Please , don't let her go."
Nothing else is said, or needs to be said, for Izuku to jump straight out his seat and head for the exit of the library. Coat abandoned, not caring about anything.
Ah. She hasn't seen that tunnel vision in him in a long, long time.
Mina watches. His eyes that absolutely glittered before taking off. It was like he just needed that little nudge to get him to go . Maybe, he was itching to chase her down. To get Ochako. But maybe he was afraid that he'd be overstepping.
But here he is, red sneakers hitting the pavement like lightning. Swerving through the rush hour crowd. Mind set on that train station that he deliberately avoided on his way to the library.
He was there to study for an end-of-term exam, and Ashido Mina happened to be there as well. Izuku isn't sure how they even got on the topic of Ochako, but that was probably unavoidable.
His chest burns. Running in the cold without warming up is a recipe for disaster, but the adrenaline is carrying his body through these streets.
His legs feel weird. He hasn't run like this in a long time. It's a sickening reminder of what he lacks now. His strides are just as long, but so much slower. His form is perfect but he's counting less steps per minute than his previous average.
One For All has long since been put to rest. The Hero License in his wallet is all but a decoration at this point. But, there's a voice in his head that sounds nearly identical to Yoichi's. It's chanting, "Don't give up, hero!"
There's another, much quieter voice. This one, instead of being in his head, is coming from where it's etched on his heart.
Usually, Izuku would be mentally kicking himself. Deku, Deku, Deku. Useless Deku.
Her voice—Ochako's voice. She's shouting, "You can do it, Deku!"
And, though he probably already looks crazy running like he is, Izuku's sure he looks absolutely insane smiling and crying at the same time.
And, finally, the station is in his sight. The power in his legs suddenly feels all the stronger. He rushes in and—yes, he feel's guilty about this—jumps the turnstile, and takes the steps upstairs three at a time.
Green eyes, wide and beautiful, search the platform. Left, right, left, right. He pushes through, throwing around half-hearted apologies.
The air pumping in and out his throat is starting to feel so, so painful, and his eyes are starting to sting because his now-stopped tears aren't mixing well with the cold. His nostrils flare.
Izuku looks for the train's schedule, looks for the one he knows she's on and—
He freezes in place.
Wrong platform.
Wring station.
He was supposed to go to the downtown one, dammit! How stupid—
Panic rises like bile, now changing his course to run a few blocks down and pray and hope he doesn't miss her.
But, as he's turning around, his mind thinks, "Uraraka," and his eyes dart just slightly back to where he was, across the tracks, and there she is. She's already looking at him, eyes blown wide, mouth agape, hand on the window of the train she had just boarded—like she's reaching for him.
Ah—!
"Uraraka!" he yells, and he can only hope she can hear him. The train jerks forward, and his stomach drops, following best he can. Her other hand slaps the glass, lurching; she realized he found her.
Ochako says something to him, pointing in the direction the train is going in. "Meet me at the next station!"
The car she's in is almost out the station, and Izuku's mouth moves before he can actually think about what it's going to say.
" I love you! "
It came out loud. Boomed, even. And suddenly, the entire station has their eyes on him, and he shrinks in on himself. Utterly embarrassed, Izuku bows in apology and turns on his heels.
A few people mutter his hero name.
Why is he so duuuumb—
All thoughts to the blistering wind eating away at his ears and his nose.
But he's smiling. His body is aching, but he's smiling.
The world is freezing but his chest is so, so warm.
It's kind of funny, actually. Japan's Hero, Deku, running around town after a girl. Absolutely, completely, wholeheartedly, and deeply in love. She's the blood coursing through his veins, the pulse in his neck, the ends of his nerves. Never once has Izuku felt so much about one person. He doesn't think he ever will. Because, it's in his bones. She's the very breath in his lungs.
Uraraka Ochako, the reason he smiles each and every day.
Is it anatomy?
Or maybe she's his sun, his moon, the planets around. Maybe she's the stars in his sky. The galaxies of his soul. The Big Bang if his life. That's what it felt like when they met, when she gave him "Deku."
Is it astronomy?
God, what isn't she?
Uraraka Ochako, to Midoriya Izuku, is everything.
Uraraka Ochako, in her brown coat and pink scarf, her ginger hair whipping from side to side, her windwhipped cheeks and nose.
They crash into each other, so hard it genuinely knocks what little breath was left in his lungs. Izuku stumbles back just one step, arms around her waist, hers around his neck. Hands in his curly hair, pulling him as close as physically possible.
"Stay," he chokes out, desperation clear as day.
Ochako's nodding frantically into him, telling him she will, over and over again.
She was the one that found him this time, outside the station's entrance.
"We always do this," he says with humor in his tone, "Chasing after each other."
She giggles and his heart swells. "Yeah, we do. Instead of just staying put."
Izuku pushes away just enough to look at her in the eyes. Her brown eyes are so beautiful, so perfect. "I don't think staying put is in either of our minds chemistry."
She shakes her head, "I don't think so either. But, one thing that always stays consistent, is that this always happens in the snow."
"Uraraka," he calls and she hums in question. "You heard me, right?"
"I couldn't over the sound of the train, but I saw. I saw you say it. You mean it?"
"Of course I did—I do, I mean. I've never lied to you."
"Good." And, she smiles. Toothy, bright, in a way he's never seen before. He wonders only briefly how he's gone so long without seeing it even once. It's like she's wearing her heart in this beaming smile. It's right there, he can almost literally touch it. "I love you, Deku."
The hand already at the back of his head, pulls him down until their noses touch—ice cold.
"So, so much."
The smell of strawberries and mint floods his senses, but is quickly replaced by the feeling of her icy lips touching his.
And whoever the hell said first kisses aren't fireworks and violins is a liar. Or, no.
Actually, this is so much better.
Izuku can't stop his smile. He can't stop the giggle in his throat, the heat on his cheeks. It's contagious, apparently, because she follows just behind.
But then she jerks back, "You're not wearing a coat!"
"Oh, yeah, I forgot it. I was in a hurry to get to you."
Ochako hastes to take off her scarf and wrap it around his neck and his nose. "You're crazy."
Undoubtedly, Izuku's looking at her like a lovesick puppy. "You're pretty."
She makes a face, a little embarrassed, but immensely happy to hear it from him. She ruffles some of the snow from his hair, but can't stop it from sinking into the dark green curls.
"Let's go somewhere warm—"
"I love you, Uraraka," Izuku blurts. She jumps a little bit, then smacks his arm. But, he's just so happy right now. He could say it a million times.
"Please don't. Not here. And, I'd prefer it if you didn't use my family name..."
"Ah... okay. But I mean it."
"I know—"
"I love you."
She laughs, "I know, Deku!"
"I love you," he repeats for a third time. Then, "Ochako."
Ochako bites her bottom lip, pushing him off to head toward a nearby coffee shop. Before he gets frostbite or something.
"Ochako," she hears him whisper under his breath as they go. Then again, and again, and again. To himself, like a prayer.
"Hmm?"
"Oh. Nothing. I just... I love you-r name."
"Deku!"
He laughs loudly, "Okay, okay! I'll stop. For a little... uhm, actually, Ochako? My apartment isn't that far away from here. And my hair's wet so it'd probably be better if I just went home."
She looks back at the station for a second, then up at him with a smile. "Okay. Let's go then."
It takes less than ten minutes to get to his building. The doorman recognizes Izuku, offers a nod, but raises a brow at his hand in her coat pocket.
A hot bath, hot soup, and lots of medication later, Izuku's in his bed with two comforters.
"Ochako, this is overkill. I'm sweating."
"Good. Sweating out that fever."
"I don't have a fever—well, I didn't. I probably do now. You induced."
"Quiet. Go to sleep."
She's sitting beside him. Izuku watches her for a moment.
"Stay with me?"
"I didn't say I was leaving."
"No, I mean... here. Not! Not in a weird way! Just, like, it'd be nice if—I mean, I wanna be with you. Just—sleeping. That's it. I'm not trying to be fresh—"
Ochako's already shoving him aside to get under his blankets. Izuku shuts his mouth, and squeezes his eyes from the embarrassment.
The bed is a full size, but they manage to lay comfortably facing each other. Izuku obediently closes his eyes, trying to sleep.
It's quiet for a long time. Then, Ochako reaches a hand to push his hair back from his forehead. He hums, liking the feeling. He definitely is warm, and his skin is still red and splotchy.
Her hand slips onto his cheek. Then, her finger traces the shape of it and brushes down the slope of his nose, then down to his lips slathered in Vaseline.
"Hm?"
She doesn't say anything, just keeps going down to the collar of his shirt. There's a moment's pause before she places her hand flat on his chest, feeling how his heart is beating quickly. Ochako smiles. Back up to his shoulder, the side of his neck, and then the nape where her nails dig into his skin just the slightest.
"Uraraka," his tone comes out as a gentle warning. Her nails press in and she feels his skin break out into goosebumps under her touch. "Stop." She does, a sense of accomplishment in her belly.
Izuku finally opens his eyes, and Ochako smiles innocently.
His feet—two pairs of socks on each—nudge at hers and she responds until they're almost kicking each other. Well, the only reason they stop is because Ochako accidentally knees him in the groin, and she falls into a laughing attack while he whines about it.
In a fake upset, Izuku turns to face the wall, arms crossed.
Ochako's still giggling, wiggling her way closer to him until she's flush against his back—broader than she remembers—and hugs his waist.
She blows air at his earlobe and he raises his shoulder to cover his ears.
"Deku," she calls. He ignores her. "Midoriya...!" Even less of an answer there. "Deku," Ochako tries once more, kissing the back of his neck. "I love you."
Izuku is still facing the wall, but he smiles. His body relaxes into hers.
"Deku?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
Izuku twists a bit to look at her, "Again."
"I love you."
"One more," he requests in a whisper.
"Deku, I love you."
"Ochako?"
"Hmm?"
"Where were you going?" he asks. He should've known, but he didn't ask. No one told him, either, having assumed he knew. Izuku didn't ask, because he was afraid of the answer. He was afraid that, on impulse, he'd run off to find her just like he did earlier.
But being here in the moment, the boy realizes that he would've ran to the ends of the Earth to find her regardless. He wouldn't have cared if his arms and legs fell off.
"Pro Hero Jackass offered me an overseas mission. I would've been gone for about 8 months. To be honest, I don't think it would've suited me or my Quirk. I just... I felt like I was going crazy here."
"In Japan?"
"Mhm. Because... well, there are things I had left unfinished here that I couldn't bring myself to get to. Out of fear, I guess. I don't know."
"What things?"
There's a stretch of silence, and Izuku's neck is starting to hurt a little bit.
"You."
"Me?"
She nods slowly. "I... so, Toga Himiko? Before, when we'd first met, she wanted to bond with me because we liked the same boy—you. For her, expressing her love and receiving it was drinking their blood. Becoming whomever was the object of her affection. That was her normal. She wanted to share that with me, because we had you in common. Himiko was just a normal girl. Just like me. She loved, and wanted to become the person she loved. Just like me... just not... not to that extreme, haha. And, believe it or not, I was jealous of her."
"Jealous?"
"Yeah. Because, Toga Himiko loved so freely. So openly. And she'd just say it. I wanted to be like that. I wanted to take what I wanted, and to tell the person I love that I love him, and do it with the biggest and most genuine smile on my face. I think she wanted me to see that, too. Like, Himiko knew that's what I wanted. She always brought up how hiding how I felt would just make things run deeper. Her and I are the same, you know?"
Izuku nods, and the two shift around so that they're facing each other properly again.
"And I guess I thought that... because she... died, I shouldn't desire anything like that anymore. But I kept wanting you. I kept loving you. Jackass offered me an escape, then here you come like a madman yelling about how you feel in a train station with all your heart. Almost exactly what she said."
"And you did too. I swear, you were unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Your most genuine self, and it's—you're so beautiful. I don't know exactly what happened between the two of you, but I think Toga Himiko would be very proud of you."
Ochako realizes that Izuku's paid more attention to her than she thought, and also... that he and Himiko are a bit similar too. Guilt lingers in Ochako's chest. Himiko's smile from her last living moments flash through her mind.
Izuku wipes the tears from Ochako's face that she hadn't noticed were falling. "She gave her life for you to experience life the way you want to. For you to help people just like her, and for you to love and be loved. It's okay that it took you some time to get to this point, and it's okay if it takes you longer to accept that you deserve it. Himiko... she's with you, all along the way. Until you can accept it for yourself, do it for her. And I'm here, too. To love you."
It's a different perspective than the single one she had. This one, more hopeful. He's not at all erasing Toga Himiko, instead raising her to be new light. Instead choosing to forge an alliance with her, to help Ochako.
She sniffles. "Thank you."
With that, he leans in and kisses the top of her head, and drags her into the warmth of his body, completely engulfing her.
"No matter what," he starts in a low voice, "I'll protect that smile."
And, while he can't see it, that very thing blooms on her face.
And Ochako is confident that he'll stay true to that promise.