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It was not a particularly quiet Tuesday afternoon. With classes basically over, halls were crowded with chattering and laughing. The noise, however, seemed to die down around one certain classroom. The notes trickling out of the unused club room were somehow loud enough to silence even the dirtiest gossipers.
This was not an abnormality for the school. The piano club always held their meetings in the same room, but hours had already passed since the club had ended, and even the music itself radiated isolation. A singular player sat at the front, playing to no one. The frustration on her face was evident, and the few curious minds who had thought to peek in all changed their mind and walked forward, unwilling to face the raging pianist.
Nicole tapped at the white and black keys. Her patience was running extremely thin. A few minutes late she could excuse, but one whole hour seemed a lot, even for Mark. She had yet to exhaust the repertoire of songs in her stock knowledge, but even she had to admit that her motivation was dwindling. The golden sunlight drafted into the room, casting a faux spotlight on her like a centerpiece. A romantic setting. For one.
“Aghhh!” She slammed her head on the piano, her groan drowned out by a discordant harmony of flat notes. She raised her phone up to the keyboard, resting her wrist on the keys. She ignored the protests of the screeching piano as she pulled up her texts. Checking for the hundredth time did not change the fact that all of her messages, ranging from “did you forget about piano club? lol” to “if you don’t get here in five minutes i’m going to kill you” to just keyboard spams were left unreplied to. Scrolling up past her text block showed the profile picture of Mark hadn’t moved since they spoke last night. Did he break his phone? Honestly, Nicole wouldn’t have put it past him.
She sighed, clearly, the opportunity for more practice had long faded into obscurity. She would just have to wait until Wednesday for an explanation. If he wasn’t absent again. Unlikely.
After some deliberation, Nicole rose from the cushioned seat and stood for a second, stretching her rested limbs and letting her legs get used to the idea of standing. In her peripheral, the crowd of highschoolers started to disperse as the sun crawled ever lower. And she spotted a flash of red in the midst of the scattered students getting closer, like a bloodstain on a white shirt. Cathy towards her. Bad omen.
Even Nicole could spot the looks everyone was giving the red-hooded girl. The whispers somehow grew louder, and the sea of people seemed to part around her. Like they were afraid to touch her for fear she would disappear in front of them. And she was walking towards her.
Fuck.
Why would Cathy need to talk to her, of all people? They’d barely even spoken to each other before, and she couldn’t imagine any other reason for a conversation except for… Prom night.
But she wasn’t ready to talk about that night. Not yet. Nobody was. Not Nicole, not Mark, and definitely not Cathy, and yet it loomed over them like a haunting shadow waiting for the breaking point. That breaking point crept closer and closer. Was she going to get straight to the point? Question why they haven’t spoken about it yet, why–
“HAH! Still waiting here for loverboy?” Nicole could hear her smirk before she turned to look at her.
Or she would just act like nothing happened. That seemed like something Cathy would do. According to Mark’s… Creative descriptions of her.
“Just leaving actually, but would you know why he ditched without leaving a text?” Nicole presented her phone with a flourish.
“Dummy slept in again, guess old habits die hard, huh? Did he… Not text you?” She leaned against the doorway with an “Oh-my-god-did-he-tell-his-bestie-but-not-his-gf” look. Nicole didn’t even know she had a look like that.
“No. It would seem he had... Other priorities,” Nicole matched her smirk. She peeked over the shorter girl’s shoulder to see more people staring, eyes widening at the two of them. Cath seemed to have noticed, too.
“Welp, I’ll be going now, you should head back too-”
“WAIT!” Nicole shouted on impulse. There was absolutely no world in which she thought this would be a good idea, and yet. She couldn’t leave something like this again. Broken. Incomplete, like a missing puzzle piece. Maybe that was a bad thing. Some things were just meant to stay defective, but she couldn’t help herself. Maybe that was bad too.
Wait, what would she even say? “Hey, sorry about that truck accident you were in, how are you adjusting to having to walk around with a crutch? Oh, by the way, hope you didn’t find the near-death experience too traumatizing!” She really couldn’t have picked a worse time for this; She could have at least waited for a month to pass, but nooo, Nicole just couldn’t let this go for once in her life–
“Oookay? Uhmm..” Cathy leaned to and fro on her crutches awkwardly. Oh God, how long had she been waiting for her to speak up? What did she plan on saying again?
“N-no nevermind, that was kind of stupid, you can go now!” She had to try to salvage what little chance she had of a friendship while she still could. The silence between the two was deafening, and the distance between them in the room seemed to become more apparent. Cathy lifted her hand to her chin, lost in thought.
“Hmmm. Nah!” She bumped the classroom door behind them shut with her hip.
“WHA- What do you mean ‘nah’?” Nicole dropped the bag she had been previously holding in shock.
“I kinda like it here, don’t have to deal with all the staring and stuff.” She started closing the blinds too, drenching the two of them in darkness for a second. The aforementioned romantic golden sunlight was traded for the artificial white lighting of the classroom. The silence was isolated to just their room now.
Cathy finally sat down on a seat closer to the front, leaning her crutches against the chair next to her. She sighed, taking in the newly Cathy-fied classroom. Was she waiting for something?
Oh. Right.
Nicole sat back down at the keyboard she had just left and cleared her throat. “So, uh…” More silence.
“How have classes been so far?”
Cathy was ready to jump headfirst into the conversation. A little too ready. Desperate, even.
“Oh, you should’ve SEEN the looks everyone gave when I entered in the middle of class. Obviously, school year ended, and we had different classmates, but they paired me up with Mark and Ridel this time around–I think they felt bad or something–anyways literally everyone in school found out about what happened and–”
“Did. Did he set you up to this?” Nicole mumbled. Cathy trailed off on her ramble.
“Uhm.. Not… Really?” She smiled unconvincingly. Nicole opposed her with a raised eyebrow.
“Look… He just mentioned how it would be nice for us to start talking now that I’ve been discharged. You know, have his amazing awesome best friend get along with his amazing awesome girlfriend! I just sped things along.” Cath tried looking laid-back about it, but getting caught in the act was unprecedented for her.
“You’re a good friend, Cath.” Nicole focused harder on the ivory keys of the keyboard, tapping the C key rhythmically. It didn’t play anything, but it was calming.
She took a moment to process. They both knew this conversation wasn’t real. It was just a way to acknowledge each other. That what happened that night was actually real. But they both refused to say it out loud.
Fine then. She could indulge this a little bit. She needed a break from all the drama.
“So, you’re in the same class as Mark? Another thing he failed to tell his ‘amazing awesome girlfriend.’” She looked up from the keyboard with a smile.
Cathy snorted, “Yeah, 10-Emerald. His face literally lit up when he saw me walk in. Now that we’re all in the same class, I expect a year full of free snacks and hangouts! For I am queen Cathy~ And if my orders are not met, they will face… The stick!” She brandished one of her crutches like a mighty sword.
“Pfft, well, I sure hope I won’t have to deal with the dead bodies afterwards. That would be a… Royal pain.” Nicole played along, coughing and haughtily raising her head up in disdain to hide her laughter.
“GAH! YOU EVEN HAVE THE SAME DUMB HUMOR! My ears, they burn!” Cathy raised her hands to her head in despair.
“Well, you started the jokes, I’m just better at it! You have inferior tastes! And your name is literally the potential pun-maker. It's like Christmas came early for me!” Nicole started rattling her brain for cat-related puns. She had an audience; She must entertain them.
“What, Cath got your tongue?” Her audience had been quiet for more than five seconds, and for someone as loud as Cath, that was definitely not normal.
“I just remembered that we totally have to invite you to the carnival next time! You’ve only gone once, and that was last year before Christmas, and you went off with Mark to go smooch together on the docks.”
Her face flushed red. “Y-YOU SAW THAT?!”
“Who couldn’t? You two were looking into each other's souls with heart in your eyes, BLECH!” She gagged and started rambling on about something about cat ear headbands being 90 freaking pesos. Nicole couldn’t hear her anymore, lost in her own thoughts.
Wait… Was she at the carnival with Mark? How long had they been there? Oh God, she’d been with Mark that night for at LEAST an hour. How long did they keep Cathy waiting?…
Her memory of that night suddenly left a sour aftertaste.
“... But you and Sofia aren’t gag-worthy enough?” Light conversation. That was all this was. Some light small talk with a friend of a friend. Boyfriend. Whatever.
“How DARE YOU! I’ll have you know that people barely get a gag reflex around us! And who told you about that anyway?! We’re not even dating, we just bake! Together! Sometimes!” She refused eye contact, burying herself in her own hoodie.
“I have my ways…” Nicole grinned ominously. It was Mark. Mark told her. “And we’ll see how those ‘cute’ little baking sessions go.” Her terror knew no bounds. Cath grumbled under her hoodie.
“Hmp. Well, I was going to offer you some cookies, buuuut maybe I should hold back on that offer?” Nevermind, Nicole was the one terrified. Cath must have seen the look of absolute horror on her face because she started bursting out laughing.
“Fine, fine! Here I have a bag for you. I was gonna give it to Ridel, but apparently, he’s not a big fan of sweets, the monster.” She rifled through her school bag and pulled out a plastic baggy full of different types of cookies.
“Here, lemme just-” She started reaching for her mobility aids. “Oh no, it’s fine, I can-” Nicole stood up frantically, but Cathy was already walking over. She was surprisingly fast with a leg injury, all things considered. “Here you go!” She plopped the bag on her lap and sat at the edge of the bench. Guess she was going to share the seat with her then.
“So, how do you play this thing?” Cath leaned past Nicole while she nibbled on a chocolate chip cookie and flicked the on switch of the keyboard. It tasted a bit too salty, but otherwise, a perfectly good pastry. Although, it was pretty hard to enjoy it with the sound of the E key being tapped over. And over. And over. AND OVER–
She blocked Cath’s finger from the key with her hand and was met with a sheepish smile. Nicole flashed an unamused look, cookie still stuffed in her mouth.
“Wll, whf dh you wna lrnf?” She attempted to ask. Maybe eating the cookie whole wasn’t the best idea.
“What did you say?” Cath asked, poorly disguising her smile with concern. She gulped the chocolate-covered biscuit down and tried again.
“Ahem, what I meant was, what do you wanna learn?” She regained her composure.
“Uhhh, well maybe something simple?” She played simple hand exercises on the keyboard. Huh, guess she was paying attention to Mark while he played? But her slouching posture and her flattened hand showed she apparently hadn’t paid enough attention.
“Well if you want something ‘simple’ I have an easier version of Canon if you wa–”
“I was actually thinking of like… Heart and Soul.”
“Huh.”
“Yeah! You know, like.” She started to play the higher part, but Nicole stopped her on her tracks.
“N-no I know how to play it, but why?!" Maybe it was strange for her to even ask in the first place, but it was also very out of nowhere.
“For fun! Don’t you play things for fun on this thing? Would be kiind of a waste to just play it and not have fun every now and then.”
She… Couldn’t even rebuke that. Nicole had stopped enjoying anything she played when her stupid perfectionism got in the way and where did that leave her?
You know what? She could have a little bit of fun.
“Hmmm fair enough, I’ll start on the low parts when you go.” She offered, finding her position on the keyboard.
Cath held up her pointer finger dramatically and slowly lowered it onto the F key.
And so started the strangest duet of Heart and Soul. The high part was absurdly simple. It was only played by one hand– one finger– and it was practically drowned out by the lower part, played in grandiose, booming chords.
This was extremely stupid. Stupid to the max. The tonal whiplash of the tear-jerking, deep, emotional music being emitted from the classroom to this. Not to say Heart and Soul wasn’t emotional or tear-jerking, but the cause of the tears was for a very different reason.
The vaguely comprehensible song started devolving into discordant harmony as the two erupted in suppressed laughter, not wanting to cause more noise.
“T-that was fucking amazing, do it again!” Cath managed to gasp out between her snorts and giggles.
Nicole had completely face-planted onto the keyboard to muffle her laughter. It was not working well. A whole minute seemed to have passed of the two trying to calm down before she spoke up.
“We have to actually stop playing with this. The teachers are going to realize I haven’t returned the damn thing back to the music room yet.” She brushed her bangs back into place with her hand, refusing to look at Cath for fear of her laughter starting up again.
“Boooo! Fineee.”
“Why’d you want to play anyways? Gonna join the piano club?” Nicole finally turned to face Cath. What she had thought was a simple ice-breaker question had gotten a strange reaction from the other. Her smile was muted now, but there was a slight, resigned look to it.
“You don’t have to tell me if it’s personal!” She had to remind herself again. Light conversation. Keep it light.
“No, it’s fine. Mark says I gotta be more open on this stuff. It’s just. Well. You weren’t there at the hospital, and I guess I just didn’t really want to tell anyone..”
Oh. She knew this was going to bite her back someday. Those last few months in the hospital almost the entire class visited her. Most days, Mark left the classroom as soon as the bell rang with Ridel in tow. Everyone knew where they were going. Nobody commented of course. She was invited a few times, and she went once. But it had felt like she was intruding on something private. Like she was stealing something that wasn’t hers. She never went again.
“... The doctors don’t know if this is gonna be permanent or not.” She gestured to the fracture boot. That snapped her out of her thoughts.
“And I just thought that maybe.. I should try looking for other hobbies! Like baking or– or music, because sprinting might not be so viable anymore…” She laughed lightheartedly, but it came out sounding tight. She cleared her throat.
“... Well, I wouldn’t lose hope so quickly, they said they aren’t sure right?”
“No I guess not, but–”
“Then you’re not giving up on racing or sprinting or what have you yet! Are we friends?”
Cath’s bewildered face looked up as Nicole stood dramatically, imagining a CCTV camera pointed at her. “Yeah?”
“Then I’m going to help you achieve that dream if my name isn’t Nicole Lacsamana! We’re going to defy fate, you hear me?!” Her shout echoed in the room. Taking a page from one of Mark’s feeble attempts to cheer her up might actually work this time around.
Luckily for her, Nicole was a natural in the spotlight. Years of performing under pressure had long desensitized her to the judgment. But it seemed here, the judgment was nowhere to be found. Cath started giggling from her seat.
“Okay, but I still want to learn at least the basics. It would be a shame if I had two friends who played piano and I couldn’t even do any duets with them.” Friends. They’re friends. She sat down beside Cathy again. It felt right. But so so wrong. It was impossible to just talk with her. They’d already drifted from the “light conversation,” and the weight was bending her will.
Nicole could always perform under pressure, but that night, when Jake went missing. It hurt. And she wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass her by. Not this time. She sat back down beside Cathy
“Cathy, if we’re… Friends. Then I want to say something.”
“Oh, sure! Shoot.”
“I’m sorry.”
A pause. She didn’t look confused. Maybe she knew why already.
“For what.” Cathy didn’t phrase it like a question.
“Everything. That night, on the highway–” She widened her eyes slightly but let her continue.
“I didn’t know what to do, I was scared, and– and Mark was just staring, he wouldn’t speak and I thought you were–” She didn’t finish the thought. She didn’t need to.
She had to breathe. That night was a blur for her. Nicole wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but she saw Mark, inches away from a truck. The driver presumably was calling for an ambulance, and Cathy. She didn’t look. Her thoughts raced that night, but the only thing she could clearly remember was…
“I just remember thinking that night. I never got to know you.” She managed to choke out. “Isn’t that fucking selfish of me? I steal your best friend from you and all I can do is feel guilty for not having one meaningful conversation with you?”
She could cut the tension in the room with a knife. The uncomfortable silence was back; God, why did she try talking this out with Cathy of all people? She had enough on her plate, and this was hardly making anything better.
“Well. You’re having one with me now.”
Cath started fiddling with her jacket strings, trying to figure out what to say next.
“And I’ll be the first to admit. It hurt when I saw everyone moving on without me. It hurt, but you never stole him from me. He looked so much happier around you, and my dumbass thought for a second that he was better off leaving me behind. And you saw how well that turned out.”
Sudden movement beside her. Cath had leaned against her shoulder. To comfort her?
“And I could just stay here thinking about ‘what if I had told Mark earlier about how I felt’ or whatever for eternity. We could all just think of the mistakes we made and the secrets we kept, but if we did that we’d just get stuck in the past.”
“Some idiot told me something about accepting and letting go. I think he might have had a point, don’t you?” She smirked.
Mark. Of course he had the gall to be right in a conversation he wasn’t even a part of. Actually, he was so intertwined in their relationships he might as well be.
“I’m here now, and I’m not going to fall behind. It’s like you said, we’ll defy fate right? All we can do is grow from whatever the world throws at us like my accident– even the fucking Ruling!” Cath waved her arms wildly, shaking Nicole in the process. She finally remembered that she was, in fact, still leaning on someone while doing this.
“I thought I was supposed to be comforting you.” Her laugh was still a little strangled. “God, and I just fixed my hair up too.”
The sterile flooring and bright light suddenly felt a bit unfit for the situation. Nicole stopped fixing her hair.
“Mark was right, you’re amazing.” She muttered. Looking back at the shorter girl, she saw wide eyes staring back.
“WHUH? What did he say about me?!” The poor keyboard, already abused, was once again slammed down by Cath’s hands.
She set aside the small teases he mentioned in conversation. She could mention those later. “He told me once while you were in the hospital. He told me how selfless you were, and how ready you were to come over to his house to help him with homework at the drop of a hat. He said whenever you came over, you made the empty house feel alive for a bit.”
Cath muttered something about a poet in the making. Not for the first time in the conversation, she seemed at a loss for words.
Oh, looks like she had to get them talking this time.
“Hah, I think we’ve been staying here a bit too long. Wanna walk with me while I bring this to the music room?” She pointed down at the instrument.
“Yeah.. I’d like that.” She smiled. It was much more genuine than the smile she walked in with.
The two of them silently got up. Cath, picking up her bag and crutches, and Nicole picking up the keyboard. She would have to do multiple trips, but that was fine. She wouldn’t be lonely.
“Oh, you wanna go over to Mark’s later? Now that I have someone who can actually play video games well, I might finally have a proper racing competitor.” She rolled her eyes in exasperation.
“Not if you can beat me in a game of my choosing first!” Nicole teased, opening the windows once more. It was almost dinner time. How long had they been in here? Oh well.
They finally left the threshold of the classroom, turning off the bright light. It seemed like Nicole could finally leave it behind.
Well.
Not before she went back for the wires and keyboard stand.