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Chapter Text

I was tasked with compiling a concise history of the University of Coropori for the three--hundredth anniversary of the founding of the university, including sections for each branch and school within the university. Dean Noriko Taichiki, fifth dean of the university, first and for many years the only female dean, is still well known as the singular most prolific inventor of our world. In my research on the School of Chemistry, I discovered that before she was instated as the dean, she was the one who started the School of Chemistry as a department of the university.

The dean prior to Dr. Noriko was the well-respected Dr. Clairgeeta, a professor of philosophy who specialized in studies of the World of Light. Many of his works are still considered the leading works on the topic and many are held as canon scripture by those who follow that philosophy. My research for the anniversary of the university was being done in reverse, from the current time and back in history so I could properly reconstruct the timeline, then publish it in its correct order. Because none of Dr. Noriko's works speak on the World of Light I only thought there'd been a mere passing of the baton, as it were.

I was given permission to view the closed personal collection of Doctor Clairgeeta's on the World of Light that he had drawn his theories from. Many of the records are as many hundreds of years or more older than those I have used in my own research. Some were his own transcriptions of records five hundred or more years old when he read them. I asked for and received permission to re-transcribe his collection as they are very old and crumbling. It seemed such a shame to lose them entirely.

I was quite surprised to learn from Dr. Clairgeeta's own hand from his research data books that Dr. Noriko was highly influential in his later research and publications. He mentioned her quite frequently as the source of more detailed thoughts into the World of Light. It wasn't until I reached one of the last books in the collection that I learned why.

Dr. Noriko's personal journal from the years before she came to the university and instituted the Department of Chemistry is now well known world--wide. While many argue if it was fiction from my mind or truth because it is so difficult to conceive that the island princess is really from another world entirely, I staunchly maintain it is all from her own hand, save the final chapter which I freely admit is my fanciful idea of what happened to the Awakening and the Sky Demon of legend at the end of the life of Dr. Noriko.

When I went one more time to the shelves where the collection of Dr. Clairgeeta is housed to return the manuscripts, I was surprised to learn I had missed one final small journal at the end of the shelf. It was a simple book of dark leather cover that was near to rotted and took some effort to pry from it's location against the wall of the shelf without ruining said cover. I thought that even if it was early notes of Dr. Clairgeeta's, it would be worth preserving what was written within.

Imagine my complete astonishment and utter delight to open to the first page and learn that I held within my hands the one and only copy of Izark kia Tarj's journal from that same time. You, dear reader, now hold in your hands a treasure of history: the story of the Sky Demon from his own hand, and his transformation into the being of Light that the Awakening brought him to become, according to the Legend of Light. I have transcribed it faithfully, no wording any different than what he wrote, so that the controversy that surrounds The Dangers of Being Intellectual can't be applied to this work.

May you find what you seek, and may Light and peace always reign within our hearts so that it may be present in our world to the good of all.

--- Jiryü Räsen, Historian

Chapter Text

All my life I have been afraid. The servants whispered their fear to each other, not knowing I could hear them even behind closed doors. I didn't understand at first, but as I grew my powers began to manifest at sudden and odd times. Because they were afraid of my powers, I learned to be afraid of them as well.

I tried to deny that I was anything other than human like anyone else, but then my body, not just my powers, began to betray me. I would have episodes where I could do nothing other than lie on my bed in excruciating pain for sometimes days as things happened inside that I couldn't even imagine, other than to believe what I had heard whispered behind closed doors. Something was inside me that was going to make me change into something I didn't want to be.

Those physical changes inside became external ones once I had enough of the painful episodes. After every episode, I would have more scale-like lesions on my arms above my wrists, and eventually down the center of my back. If my powers manifest, my canines elongate, my ears become pointed at the tops, and my eyes change. Normally my eyes are brown with flecks of green, but when my powers escape, or if I need to call on them to a high level now that I can control them, they lighten towards a blue-green and the pupils narrow, like an animal's eyes.

I wore long sleeves and high collars on my shirts and jackets regardless, but when the physical changes began, I chose to wrap my wrists and arms, particularly after my mother exposed them one of the times she attacked me before she was locked away. I began to grow my hair long to cover my back, in case the ones on my back should be exposed at the collar of my jacket. My hair is straight and black, not like the hair of the people I lived with. Even that was a difference.

Today, everything is long, my hair now reaching half-way down my back. I keep it tied back from my face with a bandanna, a clothing habit from when I was young to hide my ear tips when they would elongate. I even wear long jackets, down to my knees to cover what I am, although it's only a psychological need to somehow soothe the fear I feel.

It was my mother's fear that was the worst. My mother's fear broke her. I loved my mother and couldn't bear to have her afraid of me. Her fear left me with nothing of hope to hold on to.

When the first of my powers manifested, she would cry and bemoan that she had ever been willing to give birth to the terrible monster that would one day destroy our world. At other times she claimed she wasn't my mother, that I had been brought to them by a monster to take care of. Both made me even more afraid.

I appreciate the world I was born into and the beauty of it. Everyone who lives deserves to live well and try their best, I believe. To learn I would be Destruction brought me my own darkness long before I would ever bring any darkness to anyone else.

The day my mother broke, she came after me with a knife. I begged her to not attack me, knowing by then that she couldn't kill me regardless. It was already too late for that solution. My powers protected me from her, even though I tried to hold them tightly inside myself.

She pushed me to the floor despite my protests and pleas to her to stop so she wouldn't be harmed. It wasn't until the knife descended for me that my powers threw her off of me. I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to hurt her either. Her screams cut me as if the knife had.

The doctor said the knife had cut her, but I never could be sure. I stayed away from blades for a very long time after that. They locked her into her room, her mind never recovering. I couldn't stay there, hearing her sobs and grief. Nor could I stand to see her locked up in her own home. It would be better if I left so she could at least have the house and gardens to walk in, even if the servants never let her leave the house beyond that.

When I approached my father with that plan on one of the rare days he was home from his business in the city, he was completely against it. I will never forget his words to me that day. They horrified me.

"No! You can't leave our house. Our family is prospering because we take care of you. That's the commitment we made. You are a child with enormous powers, a devil incarnate. We signed a contract agreeing to raise you until you become the Sky Demon and shake the world with your might."

I couldn't comprehend it at all. I could understand my mother's fear and remorse. Why would anyone willingly raise a child who would destroy even them in the end? And even worse, how could there be anyone else in the world so evil as to actually want me to be kept safe to become that?

I didn't want to become a demon, a monster of destruction, and I most definitely didn't want to become one used by some evil in the world that wanted to see it destroyed. When my father left on his business again, I left with a knapsack of supplies out the back door. Perhaps mother would be allowed to walk the house in peace if I wasn't there to make her afraid, or feel guilty. I could only hope.

For a long time I hid, going far enough from the manor to not be found by the searching servants. I worked hard to learn how to control my powers. I learned that I could speak with the animals of the forests in a way that seemed unusual to me. I could manipulate wind very early, although now I made it a conscious thing.

I discovered rather suddenly I could create and manipulate fire. I was attacked by a monster I'd been trying to avoid and instead of power blowing it away, like I had my mother, it was lit on fire. I had to control that fire to prevent the forest around us from burning and hurting the animals living there. It was sufficiently effective at killing the monster, and training me through desperation.

I worked hardest at not injuring things with my energy and power. I couldn't be with people if I couldn't control those. Still, I eventually did run out of supplies. I carefully made my way to a shop. I was very nervous, but I'd practiced. While there I overheard two men talking about a manor home that had been burned several valleys over. Gossip spreads far where there aren't many people, nor many grand things happening.

I froze when the one said to the other, "They say it burned down, killing everyone inside, because the boy they were protecting left them, and it was their punishment for letting him leave." It couldn't be, could it? But in my heart I feared it was.

My father had said it himself. If an evil had wanted them protecting me, who would destroy, then it was quite possible that they would have been punished by that same evil. Somehow I managed to finish my shopping in my daze. I had to go back and check.

The burnt husk of the manor home, black beams at odd angles rising to the sky, made my heart feel empty at the same time as the pain made tears fall from my eyes. I had only wanted my mother to be at least a little more free. Instead I had killed her as surely as if I'd stayed and done it with my powers. I fled, not wanting to be captured by whatever evil had done this. This wasn't the life I wanted. I only wanted to live a normal life, doing my best to help other people.

I didn't stay in one place any longer. I walked through unpeopled wilderness unless I had to purchase supplies. I would stop at a few farms to help with the animals, never speaking much, until I had enough coin, then shop and return to the solitude.

Eventually I made my way through two countries to a third. I was just old enough to be hired on and found a caravan owner who was willing. For years I traveled constantly that way, always staying away from my home country, trying to stay hidden from whatever evil wanted to own me and my powers.

Being with other people in those caravans, I learned how to hide my powers. If I was attacked (and I was regularly because I looked like an easy target: young, skinny, weak, a loner) I learned how to dodge and defend myself with my hands, holding my powers close to me.

I learned how to throw a man and not so hard or so far as to have it be odd. I had to leave the first caravan early. It scared them that as a child I threw a man a block and a half through a shop window. That also gave me away to anyone who might be looking for me, I feared.

I also had to control my powers when with people because using them made the physical changes come. The early times that happened, I was frequently called a monster as the man who'd chosen to attack me fled in fear. It was a sorrowful sign that I was different, not just human.

I came to hate the changes, hate being called a monster, and eventually, to become angry at whomever had made me call on those changes in order to defend myself from them. I didn't want to be the monster, but they'd forced me to become it all because they wanted to have "fun" picking on someone they felt was weak. It taught them to think twice in the future, I could only hope.

Sometimes I would think that if most of the men in the world were like that - having "fun" being mean - then perhaps I should let them have what they'd asked for. But I always regretted it after I calmed down. I didn't want to be alone and feared, and I didn't want to hurt people. It was - is - a hard life, to keep my secret and be drowning in fear alone.

In desperation, one of the times I'd been paid a little extra, I went to a seer in one of the towns and paid to have my future seen. I was afraid they would see I was the Sky Demon and give me away, but I'd become more afraid of myself.

The seer looked into his scrying tool - a mirror on the table in front of him. His look went to confusion. "I don't see anything. It's just a swirl of chaotic colors." He looked at me with the same eyes of suspicion of those who'd known what I was.

"What does that usually mean?" I asked, after I'd swallowed around the lump of fear in my throat.

"That we can't tell what your future is," was all he could say.

"Is there anyone who could?" I asked.

He frowned. "A strong seer, maybe, but they're usually either very expensive or hired by nobility. You can't afford that." He let me only pay a quarter of his fee, since he hadn't been able to see anything. I started saving up all of my extra coin. It would be worth it for even just one strong seer to look, I thought.

As an alternative, I started asking seers instead what they knew about the Sky Demon. I tried to do that at taverns when I found them relaxing over alcohol. Many were willing to tell stories to a youth interested in the world. That was how I learned about the Awakening.

It was both relieving, and worrisome, to learn that the Awakening was foretold like the Sky Demon. The Awakening would come to the Sea of Trees, appearing on a bed of golden moss under the largest tree of the Sea of Trees. And then the Awakening would "awaken" the Sky Demon of Destruction. It was relieving to know I wouldn't just over time on my own become Destruction. It was worrisome that I might not have a choice, that something outside me would make it happen regardless of my personal preferences.

I worried even more after that, and worked harder to earn my extra coin. Now I wanted to know for sure if there was any way I could change my destiny. The seer I paid still couldn't do it. She tried as hard as she could, but nothing came to her vision other than the chaos. She'd only been able to shake her head and tell me that at best it meant my destiny was unknowable. That didn't help my fear much. Even having her be the one to look, I took courage enough in hand to ask her if anyone knew when the Awakening was going to appear.

She shook her head at that one, also. "We believe we seers will be given to know when it happens, but that's also unknowable at the moment. For all we can see many things into the future, there are even more we can't. The world is a strange and marvelous place, and we can only do what we've been given to do." After that, I would regularly pay lesser seers, usually in drink at a tavern, to learn if there had been any signs of the Awakening appearing yet.

I haven't traveled with a caravan in nearly two years. I was taught a gentle way to use the sword, and it allows me to use my power more effectively. Now I travel as a lone wandering swordsman, earning my pay protecting people on their travels. I like being able to pay forward for the debt I may owe everyone in the future.

Last month, I finally received a positive answer. The seer I was talking to was looking into the drink I'd bought him and he froze, his eyes going distant. Quietly he whispered, still in his trance, "I see it, the Awakening arriving." His head came up in shock and he stared at me in the same fright I was feeling. "Forget I said anything, if I just did."

I shrugged at him as if I hadn't heard anything come from his lips. I didn't want that news spreading any more than he did. I was relieved he was someone who didn't want destruction, too. Knowing men the way I do now, there are plenty who would use that news to their own selfish benefit. We both left the tavern shortly after that, each as shaken as the other.

I am now in the Sea of Trees, moving from tree to tree towards the tallest one in the center. My power now is so strong most monsters who aren't hungry stay away. It's not worth fighting a stronger monster than they are, most of the time, and I've learned how to make myself be hidden from them anyway. The Sea of Trees is full of the flower monsters, though, so it's hard to pass through unnoticed.

I pause to look down from a tree top at the large canopy of the largest tree, my target. I can feel it. I can feel the Awakening approaching my world, coming to turn me into something I don't want to be. I will be there first to find it, first so that I can kill it. I refuse to become the Sky Demon of Destruction.

"Mmmn...." My mouth is sticky, but the surface I'm sleeping on is soft. I sit up and sleepily rub my eyes. Blinking I look around, then freeze inside. I'm looking at trees. No..., looking up I realize I'm looking at massive tree roots. The openings between them are the size of huge coliseum arches. Directly overhead is the largest tree trunk I've ever seen in my life. I cower slightly, thinking of how much size and weight is hanging over me and I pray briefly those tree roots continue to hold it up.

Putting my hand down for balance, I touch the softness of the surface I'm kneeling on and look down at it. Gold, frondy. Rubbing my hand in it and looking closer, I see it's moss, or at least looks like moss. I look around again, and suddenly feel like the Fairy Queen having just woken up in my personal, very fancy natural bed and bedroom. Only my school uniform and satchel don't fit.

I pinch the back of my hand. Feels real. My eyes still don't agree, so I pinch my cheek. Yup. Still feels real. I sit frozen, even my mind, for who knows how long. Then I'm running my hands over my face, through my hair, over the rest of my body, just a bit frantically. Nope. Still a real body that is fully awake. ...Still a brain and vision that can't agree.

"Wulp," I heave myself to my feet. The sound is swallowed up in the massive "room"...but I did hear it, and felt the vibrations leave my chest and throat. The moss is hard to walk in, like walking on a bed would be. I keep sinking into it, my feet at funny angles. That's reality, too.

My eyebrows knit and some kind of emotion is building in my heart. I try to ignore it for now. The trunk...I mean root...I rest my hand on is smooth, from being exposed to whatever elements happen in this fairy-tale place. Resting my forehead on it, it's also cool, compared to the rising heat of my fear.

Where was I before this? I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to ignore my heartbeat that's pounding harder than I think I've ever felt except when I had to run the mile on the PE track test. My girlfriends and I were walking home from school. They were teasing me again. I'd had that dream, the one with the beautiful meadow, animals not seen on Earth, and a beautiful bird - again not one seen on Earth - flying past in the deep blue sky. A deeper, richer blue than I'd ever seen on Earth as well. A blue that called to me.

My dad's a science fiction writer and I love to read. I'd wondered aloud to my friends if I was having dreams about an alternate universe. They'd been teasing me about some "door" was going to open and I was going to end up there, stuck as an ordinary high school senior in a fanciful world with a super race. I can feel my face going pink again. The problem is...in my hidden secrets I'd love to have that happen. ...I think. Now I'm not so sure.

I take another deep breath and roll my head on the tree root. Yup, it's still there. Sigh. What happened next? Some kid lost a ball and I went to fetch it. It hit a rock just before I got to it and bounced off again. I'd just picked it up when there was a loud explosion and I was...floating? Like, in space.

I did see my girlfriends again, I think, talking to someone but they couldn't hear me when I called them. Then there was this warm softness, like what I have just woken up to. ...And visions of some people, I think. Some of them kind of scary. Oh, yeah. I was thinking I was dreaming a cool sci-fi dream. ...It's not so cool any more.

"Hiromi! Masako! Rie?" Again my words get swallowed up, although I called for my friends louder than the last time I made a sound. The strange sounds in these woods (none of the rest of the trees are as big as this one, although they are all close together, except for a corridor around this bedroom tree) pause a moment when my voice interrupts, but not for long.

The words are unfamiliar, an odd accent to them. I can only assume they are names of people this little slip of a girl knows. Still it was stupid. Stupid to call out like that in a place like this.

I'm tightly gripping the branch of the tree I'm standing in. A swirl of emotions as confusing as the swirl the seers see when they look at my future is churning inside of me. I'm looking at what should be the Awakening. There's the golden moss that she arrived on, under the largest tree of the Sea of Trees. I know I arrived at the right place because she wasn't there moments before. I know that, because she doesn't believe she is there, here in this world.

Her dress is short, only coming to her knees, but it isn't a dress of my world. Her socks and shoes aren't either, nor is the strange bag she carries, clenched in her fist that is trembling with a fear greater than mine. Her dark brown hair is straight like mine, and only comes down to her shoulders.

I can only think to myself, I'm supposed to kill that? And under that is a complete disbelief that this could be the Awakening foretold. How could a weak girl from another place entirely change me so much as to turn me into Destruction? She's the sort of person I'm paid to protect. Clueless, city born and bred, weak, defenseless.

I carefully step down off the golden mossy bed, feeling like it's a bad idea. Maybe if I stay the hole will open up again and suck me back home. I look back to see. Nope. No wavy lines or open holes to home. Nothing.

I can feel the tremors starting. How long can I keep the fear at bay? No sight of people, and no sound of them either, and I'm starting to feel a bit creeped out. How will I eat? Where will I go? "MOM!" It rings. Nothing. "DAD! DAVID!" The fear in my voice echoes back to me and now the woods are silent.

Crap. I hope I didn't just ring the dinner bell. I close my eyes willing nothing to see me...here in the middle of the open corridor of this woods that doesn't belong where I belong. I need to hide, but I'm suddenly realizing I can't move, and don't know where I would move to anyway. The tremors of fear are increasing.

thump. ta-tump. My eyes fly open. Strange woodland creatures I've never seen with my own eyes, in a book, on TV, or the internet are fleeing past me. Fleeing...something. Double-crap. I did just ring the dinner bell and everyone doesn't want to be on the menu - including me - and I can't move. I don't think I've ever been so terrified and alone in my life.

She so obviously has no idea where she is, how she got here, or anything about any prophecy she might be a major participant in. She proves it again as she arrives in the center of the corridor around the bed of moss and cries out at the top of her lungs for people she knows - a different set this time - begging for anything she does know, any part of her normal life to appear to her eyes again. I can't help but feel sympathy. I sometimes wish my childhood innocence could come back like that.

But, that was even more stupid than the former. Now she has called the flower insects to her. There are so many they're quite willing to come be what she doesn't want to see at all. The rest of the animal residents of the trees above her are fleeing, not wanting to be what called the flower insects. They run past her, but she's frozen. Her fear is palatable even to me. I should let the flower insects eat her. It will likely save us both a lot of trouble in the end.

Within the swirl of chaotic emotions inside me is despair that I can't kill the Awakening. I can't kill what my heart protects, what I feel compassion for. I should let the flower insects do it for me, since I can't. A wild part of me cries out for someone other than me to protect her, to be here, but if they were they wouldn't be protecting her. They'd be stealing her away to turn me into what I don't want to be. I made sure I was the first to arrive, to kill this, the Awakening, only a girl. No one else is here.

I'm moving towards her now, instinct moving me. I know the flower insect is too close. It lands near her, eating a small creature that was slow. She's still frozen, petrified and likely wouldn't know what to do anyway. She most definitely doesn't want to get eaten, regardless, but then no one would.

I watch, completely unable to close my eyes now, as one of the last small creatures to leap from the trees above has a massive...worm? slug?... as large as the tree trunk supports of my fairy bedroom with slimy floppy spikes all over it, slips down from the trees above to capture it in it's mouth. A round mouth surrounded by more of the spikes - only they don't look so floppy.

Saliva drips down as it lifts its head (no eyes, I notice) and turns to face me. Can it smell me, or my fear? It's irrelevant. I'm the next course on the meal and I still can't move. A wail of fear is rising, though.

Ah, I've drawn my sword and don't know how I got here. That happens sometimes, too. My deep desire and drive to protect instead of destroy makes me act to do so before I've quite made up my mind, and I get involved in things I perhaps didn't want to. Usually I can back out if it was a bad idea. I've got a sinking feeling that's not going to work this time, but it's already too late.

wham! Ugh! bam! I'm feeling woozy. That wasn't what I was expecting at all. Blinking, I try to see through the haze in my eyes. I've just been picked up and slammed against one of the tree roots of my first bed in this place. Trying to catch my breath, I can see that there's some...one standing between me and the massive monster that was just about to eat me, but ate dirt instead and is hunting for me again.

Tall, thin, long black hair...and a sword in hand. I blink. Thank God for fairy-tale knights. Maybe I am still dreaming. I'll take it. The wind in my lungs still hasn't come back and the tree trunk behind me tells me I'm lying to myself again, but I work hard to ignore that for now. My legs are trembling again and the monster is attacking.

The flower insect lunges. It still can't sense me. It's going for the girl, who's behind me now. Putting my power behind the swing, I slice at the flower insect and the front part is sliced off entirely and flies past me.

Gasp. My surprised intake of breath was a bad idea. The smell of the monster cut open is nasty. "Aaugh!" Having the head fly past me to land just to my left is worse, though, and I'm lost to the fear. All I know is that there's a guy with a sword who just killed the monster in front of me, and I'm holding tightly to something, shivering, trying to get my screeches of fear to quit hurting my ears.

I barely get turned around in time, again my instinct warning me that all is not well behind me. "Aaah!" Ooof. I'm being held very tightly about the middle by a screeching Awakening. I'm not very pleased at all, actually. Not only does the fearful screeching hurt my ears, I'm sure it's calling even more flower insects. I really should have let the one eat her. This is going to be far more trouble than I want. Of course, they'll come just because I cut the one. The smell of the blood will call them, too.

Once those are under control, my brain function comes back somewhat - just enough to hear my heart panicking. I hate this. I wanna go home. Why am I here? Am I gonna die? God, please help me. I can't breathe, so I turn my focus to getting my breath under control. Hyperventilating. Not good.

I sigh to myself. I can understand her fear, the fear of the unknown and frightening. Most of my city clients cower in fear when I have to protect them from monsters, and not a few cry out as well. They usually don't hang on to me, though, and I'd rather she wasn't. If the flower insects show up while she's doing that, it will be hard to defend us both. Not to mention I don't know anything about how she's supposed to turn me into what I don't want to be. Still, as long as she's completely panicked like this, there isn't much I can do anyway. Except stab her in the back.

There. Now that I can breathe more deeply, I'm not quite so lost to the terror and it's working back down to simple, pure fear. Right. Just breathe some more.

...And I'm back around to my compassion telling me that I can't do that. That I need to patiently wait until she can calm down. I'm suddenly as irritated with my compassionate self as everything else. I don't want to become the Sky Demon of Destruction. Am I to give myself up to that just because the Awakening somehow ended up being something I can't kill? That isn't what I want. I don't want this, not any more than she does. I'd send her back if I knew how, and immediately, so that I could escape the Sea of Trees and we could all go on about our normal lives like we'd far rather.

ba-dump. ba-dump. ba-dump.... Mmm...warm. H-heart-beat? And that's...breathing, lifting my head and lowering it gently. I lift my head and look up into the most gorgeous male face I've ever seen, green--brown eyes slightly slanted, narrow features, shorter black bangs than the rest of the hair held back by a bandanna...and an irritated expression. He's awfully patient to wait that long for me to come to my senses. Ah! Gods, what am I doing?

I jump back slightly, letting go of the warmth - I don't want to! cries my frightened heart - and stammer out an apology. I'm thinking fairy-tale again, the way he moves and looks, a long coat over loose pants and tall-to-just-below-the-knee thin buckskin boots, and with the sword and knife on his belt and all.

It's going to be reluctant allies. The flower insects are too close. I'm relieved she's finally calm enough to look up at me - with an expression of complete embarrassment at her behavior. At least she has some sense of propriety. Even that's missing from a lot of people around here these days.

He uses a strong swing of the sword to clean the muck off it for now and jams it back in its sheath, then heads to where he left me and picks up a rucksack, flinging it over his back. He picks up my satchel, I must have automatically brought it with me from the center of the moss, and shoves it at me.

[Words I don't understand.] Well, yeah, figures. But it sounds like he said he was irritated he came along at the wrong time.

I push her away and clean off my sword with a hard swing and put it away. We'll run for now. I'd rather fight fewer than more flower insects, and they're headed here. She apologizes, her foreign words strange to my ear, but the tone is rather obvious, given her expression. I don't look at her, but the apology helps - a little.

I pick up my bag, dropped where I left her, and sling it over my shoulder, then pick up hers. It's very stiff, rectangular and surprisingly heavy, although that's a small thing to me. I turn to her and say, "I don't understand the language you are speaking." That gets her mouth closed and I shove her bag at her. She can at least carry that.

"This isn't what I had planned," I complain more to myself than her. I already know she can't understand me either. Confusion is written all over her face, and a bit more of the fear of being in a completely new and strange place.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how I got here and where I am. I appreciate you saving me. I-if you could help me get out of the forest and to some...place," I pause to swallow down the tears, "I'll not bother you again." I hope he can understand from at least my expression, repentant pose, and tone of voice. That's all I've got at the moment. I look at the bed of moss one more time, hoping for the dimensional hole, but that hope is crushed pretty quickly.

[More words I don't understand] drag my attention back to him. He's looking at me, but the words were a little calmer. Maybe he understood me...and maybe not. I've no way to tell what he said either. snap-snap! I jump in fear again. Is it more of the monsters? There are faint sounds above us, but I can't make them out. All I know is that I don't want to see any more of the spiky worm monsters - still living that is. I'm doing my best to not look at the one. My fear is still present, just slightly boxed.

[Intense whispered words!] and he's grabbed my arm and is pulling me along. Damn. It is more of them. God I don't want to see them. Please, don't let them come! Now there's rustling in the tree tops...and it's coming from everywhere. Oh, God, no. My heart drops to my feet, my "knight" says one word, and we're moving fast. Yeah, "Run". I get that one.

There are snaps above us and I can hear faint voices. I'm no longer the only one who's come. The other seers have seen it and have told their employers, and others are now coming. Coming to take the Awakening so they can own me. I scowl slightly, trying to not take it out on her, since she has no idea.

She's heard some of the noise though and has gone stiff with fright again. I grab her arm. "Quickly. This way." She comes with me, not really having a choice. I can pull oxen with one hand, although I'm being gentle with her. She really is rather small.

And then the flower insects arrive. "Run!" I slip my hand down from her arm to hold her hand, shivering slightly as I do so. She's human and human contact is something that I find very difficult to deal with. But now isn't the time. From everywhere the flower insects appear and we're running. Sigh. She's also so slow. Short legs, and likely not much physical activity. And I'm fast when I want to be. This isn't going to work.

I try my best to keep up with him, letting his pull overwhelm my fear's desire to freeze me to the spot again. Aaand, here they come. Lots of them. I can't help but stare at them in terrored fascination, wondering which one will be the one to finally get the meal I represent. I was the biggest creature to go running past...other than this man who for some reason is keeping me alive, when his own life is at stake now. This is more than even he can handle.

I draw my sword and stop running. I just need to make an opening. Without paying any attention, I drag the Awakening into my chest so that she and I seem as one and the flower insects come for me, since they're coming for her. I kill the ones that reach us first, then pick her up, putting her over my shoulder. I can't climb the trees with her. She'll likely fall out and break her neck. Maybe I should... and then I get scolded by my heart again. Sigh. The wind brings the scent of water to me, as I ask it for which way is our way to freedom.

whoosh. I instinctively duck as his sword swings out to hack at one of the worms that jumps out as we pass it. I'm glad I did. A large piece of it goes flying over my head. I glance back and at least three other worms have decided that's just as good a meal. Have at it. At least that's three not trying to eat us.

I look ahead again to find myself being flung into his chest again, only this time by a heave of his own hand that's been pulling on me, and his sword swings again. I hold very still, not wanting to get in the way of that sword. Killing monsters: good. Killing girls who get in the way accidentally: not so good. I hold on, trying to stay as close to him as his knapsack without being flung off as he zips around to get another one coming up behind him.

I'm feeling a bit dizzy with how fast he's moved, when I'm being pushed back. I let go quickly, then find myself suddenly grabbed around the bottom of my school uniform skirt and he's hoisting me up over his shoulder.

"Gah!" My stomach hit his bony shoulder hard, but before I can settle at all, he's running then leaping. I mean, like Superman. We are literally flying through the air - oh, but not a Superman pose. Just as if sailing through the leap.

Now I'm thinking manga. Yup, I nod to myself. Now I'm in a manga. Great. A sci-fi/fantasy/manga: all my favorite midnight pleasures rolled up into one (except I hate horror - don't need that...really don't need that). I am so going to wake up having realized that the explosion just put me out for a week and I've been fed too-spicy-food while I was out. It has to be that.

"Ugh!" That was a harsh landing, even though he tried to take most of the force himself. I can feel his shoulder collapse a little under the force of my landing on it. Can't fall that far and not have the equal-and-opposite forces apply (thank you very much Ms. Physics Teacher). The breath was knocked out of me for a bit, too, as it was too close to the solar plexus.

I look up. He just lept over four tangled worms! And they're receding into the distance quickly now as he runs...faster than normal humans. Yeah, that's Superman, too. I let my head drop. My fairy knight is Superman (I don't even like American comics, although I've dabbled, and his character is at least decent) and he's irritated he has to save me.

I run towards where I smell the water from. I have to jump over four flower insects. The landing is hard on her, my shoulder in her stomach, but I can't do any better at the moment. Survival comes first, and I need my sword for that. I run for the place I smell the water from. It's an underground cave system. I can tell that by smell as well. It will have to do. If we go up, the other seekers on their flying creatures will see us and find out who I am, what she is.

"Eek!" and I'm swinging at the flower insect that got too close. At least she was quiet until now and only warned me. It would have been a lot more difficult to know how to protect us if she'd been screaming this whole time. It wasn't enough to alert the men above us, either, who are now behind us since they stayed near the main tree. I look down through the tree roots. The opening is wide enough.

My girlfriends were right. I've been schlooped into an alternate reality - universe - whatever - and I'm a simple high school senior from Japan stuck in a world I can't understand full of a super race (I assume, based on a sample of one).

Chapter Text

I leap us through the opening and we're falling down towards a broad rock riverbank. This sort of thing is easy for me. My power is a shield that won't let us get hurt and that slows the fall. We still have to land, though. I shift the Awakening so she's in both of my arms. I'd rather not have her land on my shoulder from this high a fall. There's a thud behind me just after I land and I look back. One of the flower insects fell through the hole with us, but it flops down to lie still.

Since they terrify her, I decide to explain now, before she can scream again. "They've quit chasing us. They get their strength from the trees, and there are no trees here. You don't have to worry about this since it has no affect on the human body." I add the last part since sometimes people get in their heads strange things.

I've put her down now and look back at her. Not like she could understand any of it anyway. Maybe she got the message, though. She isn't screaming. Instead, she's looking at me with wide innocent and trusting eyes. Damn.

"Gah--ugh!" Yeah, so the forces from just before don't amount to much compared to the end of that fall. I'm amazed we're still in one piece. He even managed to put me down gently. I'm looking back up at a small opening of light above us where one of the worms has managed to fall off with us, since my rescuer is still holding me and that's what I can see. I hope it didn't survive the fall. I'm glad we did.

He's looking over his shoulder at the worm and giving me reassuring words I don't understand. Wish I could understand them. He's probably giving me important information I'll need to know if I ever make it back here. At least he isn't worried and rushing over with his sword. I'll pretend it died.

...And upon looking at me again, the irritation is back. Sigh. Kind words, irritation inside. Bundle of contradictions, or I just showed up in his life at the wrong time. Yeah, it's the wrong time for me, too. And way the wrong place. I don't belong here, really. Imagining living in a book is one thing. Actually finding yourself there is another.

My skin wants to crawl at the thought, except his touch is warm and kind, like his words. I'll trust those for now, and hope the irritation goes away when I'm where he doesn't have to be dragging me around. Maybe then he'll show me the kindness in the look, too. Maybe.

Where's he going? He's dropped his bag, but his sword is still out. I sit and watch him, with nothing else to do, and already completely worn out by my terror and the speed of the time from when I was going to be eaten to now, when I amn't.

Irritated, I stand and walk off. There aren't trees down here, but there are tree roots, seeking the water of this cave. There isn't anything other than this rock ledge and the river. We'll have to go by water. That means even more work, and we've left a trail of dead flower insects behind us. When those other men arrive, they'll follow our path. We need to be gone before they do. I'm glad for my speed today. I hope I won't be pushed too far. I'm not ready for the Awakening to see me as the monster the rest of the world does.

I use my sword and the least amount of power possible to cut tree roots into logs to build a raft, moving as fast as I can and still maintain control. I need to conserve as much as possible for now. We may still have to fight men later. I don't know how far we can get before we're found. The farther we are from the Sea of Trees, the less likely anyone will think we're the Awakening and Sky Demon. That's how I've survived this long. No one really believes the Sky Demon is just one of them.

Angry at that thought, like usual, I hack at a root a little harder, but as I about let go of the log to toss it into the pile I'm collecting, my body restrains the throw. I look over my shoulder in surprise. The Awakening has walked over to the pile of logs and is straining to pull one out of the pile. The one I'm holding lands closer to me and I have to stare, then turn to not laugh. She's trying so hard. If she wants to feel useful, to have something to do to distract her from her loss of her world, who am I to stop her?

whack --- clatter. ... whack --- clatter. ... whack --- clank. He's still moving faster than most people should. Is there a reason he's in a hurry? Those roots look awful thick. I guess his super strength is what makes it look like he's just cutting threads. Hmm...they're a regular size and length. I get up to go and look, watching out for thrown logs so I don't get knocked out.

Looking around the cave we jumped down into I see that there's a fast moving underground river. Yeah, I heard and smelled that already. The "beach" we are on is rock and fairly wide, but it's because it's a bend in the river. Lucky, or the author used creative license to let us have a perfect escape from the forest and monsters up above. I sigh and look over my shoulder. The worm monster still hasn't moved. I'm tempted to touch it to see if it's real, but my body disagrees and stays put. Probably wisdom.

There isn't anything else in here and unless he jumps us back up and grabs hold of the roots around the opening way above us, we aren't getting out that way. River it is. I know what he's cutting roots for. Finding a safe opening, I grab one of the logs. Gods, it's heavy! It takes grunting and straining, but I get one placed farther out than his pile. He's kind enough not to throw the next three logs at me while I work at it, and puts them a little closer to himself.

I scowl at the roots again, but I'm careful where I place them after that. What crazy being made it so that I had to be the Sky Demon? So she had to be the Awakening, torn from her likely peaceful world? Can I kill that thing instead? I'd rather, like I'd rather send the Awakening home. Why do I have to be doing this?

It's all questions I've asked before, only now I've got another person to take care of. I don't want to do that, either, but I can't afford to let her be captured any more than I can afford to be captured. I'm pretty sure she'd be just as unhappy to be used against me, although I don't know that yet.

That makes me cautious. She's clueless, but that doesn't mean anything really. I've protected clueless people who were dangerous. I try not to be hired by that kind, but sometimes I need coin and food, and that's all the work I can find. With a sigh, I put my sword away. That's enough logs.

I turn to see the Awakening has put four logs into a square and she's just dropping the end of one. It's far too heavy for her to lift. But it means she's intelligent enough to understand what I was doing, and what's next. That worries me, coming on the tail end of my last thought. "Move," I push her out of the way, trying to not be harsh in my worry, the fear that rises up so easily.

There. After a bit of work, I've got four logs placed in a square. Now to see if I can lift an end. Ahhh...nope. Not high enough anyway. [One incomprehensible word] and I'm shoved aside, not unkindly really. "Move," is it? No prob. I suspect he's focused.

He's got one of the logs up on two with one hand and easily, and is wrapping rope around the ends. Yup. Raft. Well, I can still be helpful, until he catches up again. I head back to the pile and roll the next log over. Rolling is faster after all. I manage to keep up, for a while.

I pull out rope from my bag. It will likely all be used up by this project. As fast as I can, keeping my ears open to sounds from above us, I put logs on the base and tie them on. I try not to pay attention to the Awakening, but she's still being helpful, rolling logs over so I don't have to walk to the pile and back.

Again my emotions are conflicted. I appreciate she wants to help. I'm worried, and keep trying to remind myself that she doesn't know why I'm in a hurry, why she should be helping me make this work go faster. I just want to be out of here so I can relax and think straight; figure out what I'm going to do about this situation I've found myself in. I don't need this kind of confusion added to the confusion I already have about my life and what's going to happen.

With a deep breath, I cut the excess rope and put my knife away into its sheath at the back of my belt. That used up more than I should have, in my stress and need to get out of this place. I slump down on the finished raft and rest a bit, letting out a sigh. There haven't been any noises from above yet, and the wind tells me that only flower insects, dead and living, are above us. I have a little bit of time to recover.

Not moving, though, and the smells on the wind remind me that the Awakening has been watching me. I can feel my face warm a little, and I'm glad it's hidden by my hair. This isn't going to be easy, traveling with a girl for who knows how long. How am I even going to explain it to anyone? She obviously hasn't paid me to guard her. One look at her says that. She doesn't even look like any race I've seen so far in my travels. At least she isn't obviously different. It's minor, mostly softer features of face, but then all girls are like that compared to men, I suppose.

And if she had been obviously different --- ugly, a different kind of creature, anything --- I would have killed her. I sit up and groan to myself slightly. That really would have been better and met my expectations more handily. Who or whatever is doing this to me: why? Why did you have to make it the one thing I can't get rid of? I don't want to be the Sky Demon!

He moves so fast, there isn't much to do but wash my sweating face in the river, collect the bags, and sit and watch. Having managed to get the other logs lined up helped, though. He's just about done anyway. I wonder why he's in a hurry?

He sits on the finished raft to rest. Hey, even Superman needs to stop and breathe every once in a while, right? His long, straight black hair veils his face in a way I can't stop looking at. I love the length and my fingers itch to run through it and maybe even braid it. When I realize what I'm thinking, I look away, blushing.

That gets me up and I push the raft so that half of it hangs over the river. The Awakening has already moved towards our bags. She looks back up at the hole above us, towards the place she came into this world from. I can see her trembling again. She doesn't want to go away, she wants to go back, but back is worse than forward, now.

"Let's go," I say to get her moving. I turn away before she's looking at me. I'm sure she doesn't want me to see her tears again, and I don't want to see them either. It's not my fault she's here, except I was born to be what she brings to destruction. She climbs on the raft and I use my utter frustration to push us off into the river. Can I still fight it, now that she is here?

One last look up at the place we came from. My heart squeezes. Once we get moving on this raft, will I ever make it back? Will I ever get back home? His voice brings me back again and I get up and reluctantly walk to the raft. He's already got it ready to push off into the river. I clench my hands around the handle of my satchel and the rope of his knapsack, take a deep breath, and climb on, refusing to look at him, or the way home again. I don't have any other choice.

I keep my head down as he shoves us off. I don't want him to see my tears. It helps that we leave the opening and the light and are going into darkness. He can't see them for sure then. Ah, but I forgot. Sounds are magnified by water and caves. He isn't missing the catch in my breath. I'm not either as it echos back at me louder than I want. The river is moving fast here but doesn't make much noise. I bring my knees up and curl up around his bag (it's softer than my satchel) and shove my face into it to muffle my crying, finally giving up and sobbing. I really want to go home.

Honestly, I'm relieved that the Awakening is rather quiet when I need it. She kept her tears muffled as best she could. It was hard, since I know those tears. They're the ones I cried as I ran from my burned home. The loss of parents, family, the life one had known --- those are very hard. I couldn't deny her the time to grieve.

The wind brings to me where the walls are that surround the river. Most of the time there's only the tunnel of the cave. I brought a long pole with me that I use to make sure we stay in the middle of the cave, or move us to the left or right if the roof comes down too low. I'm rather tall and because I'm standing I'd rather not hit my head. The Awakening sat and that helps.

The river really is soothing. So is the darkness, but I do wonder a bit if we'll be scraped off the raft. Can this super fairy see in the dark, too? Caves are total darkness, completely blind places when there aren't rare openings around. I clamp down on the thoughts. They're also mind--numbing--fear inducing when you think about them too hard. Like that humongous tree over my head, all this rock. I gasp, then clamp down again. Just breathe. If he can see, we're fine.

Her breath catches. She's been quiet for a bit now, but now her breathing changes to one of fear again. I wonder what she'll do next. [Worried words I can't understand,] but she's motioning between us and I can feel that motion of the air.

It's really too much for my system. "Um...excuse me?" I wait a moment. I think he's turned to look at me. The raft rocked just a bit anyway. I point at my eyes. "Can you see?" I point at the space where he should be and at my eyes again then at the space around us. "In the dark?" [Positive sounding affirmation --- I think.] I pause then put my chin on the bag again. "Oh. I can't." I close my eyes. If he can see then that should be good enough.

"Yes, we're fine," I try to reassure her. Darkness doesn't scare me. Only I scare me. And she scares me, a quiet whisper says in the back of my head I try to ignore, although it's true. Until I understand what and who she is, she'll scare me, too.

She tries to relax again, but I can tell she's feeling the weight of where we are, and the darkness, too much. I want her to stay quiet...and I want to reward her for being quiet so far. I need the quiet very badly right now.

I reach down for the torch I'd made early from the smaller roots I'd cut off one of the logs. Using my power over fire, I light the end of it. When I look down at her, she's staring in amazement at what I've done. Well, that's as unusual in her world as it is here, then. I hand her the torch. She takes it without fear. That is different. Normally no one would have touched it after watching me (or anyone) do something like that.

flick. spark. sput--sputter. I narrow my eyes against the glare as the sparks take and the torch in his hand is lit. I'm staring unashamedly. He just lit it with his bare hand and a focused glare, both of which I can see in the blooming light. Okay, now I'm in a fantasy for sure. Definitely not Earth, anyway. I sit, curled up around our bags, and rest my chin on my knees and watch him. Puppy--dog eyes. Probably anyway. He hands me the torch. "Thank you...," that just won't do.

"My name is Noriko. Noriko Taichiki." I point to my face. "I'm Noriko. And you are?" I point to him. The surprised stare is almost comical. Why wouldn't I want to know his name? This acting like Neanderthals is getting to me, all gestures and sounds that may as well be grunts. He's got to be at least from the iron age given his sword, and if I'm lucky the middle ages. That might be enough to get me houses with toilets, according to the Greek history I've researched in my studies of mythology mixed with reality.

"[Thank you,]" her words are pretty obvious, if not ones I know. I turn away, thinking that's all, but she keeps going. I turn back in surprise. [Words I don't know,] then the last one is repeated again, and she's pointing at herself. "[Noriko. Noriko Taichiki. And you are?]" At least I assume that's the final question.

I blink at her, not quite sure how to respond. Are we to go on to familiarity already? I'm sure I'm not ready, but...it isn't kind to continue to think of her as an object, a thing that is of prophecy, when she's obviously a living human being.

"The Awakening is supposed to be something that drives the world into turmoil." I can't look at her. I'm trying to work it out for myself. "I didn't expect the Awakening would ask for my name in such a friendly way." I take a breath. "My name is Izark. Izark Kia Tarj, Noriko." Her name rolls off my tongue strangely. I'm not sure I want her calling mine.

She does anyway. "[Thank you,] Izark." She points to the torch. "[Thank you for the light,] Izark."

I can only give her a nod and return to my wandering thoughts and protecting us from the walls that we both can see now. I don't think about what it makes me feel to have her call my name. She was being grateful for my kindness. That's how people properly get along. She's at least polite. That's also a relief.

I listen politely to words I can't follow again. He sounds a bit wistfully bemused. Then, mixed in with the words I don't understand, "Izark. Izark Kia Tarj, Noriko."

"Thank you, Izark." I answer back, just so he knows I got the name, and so maybe I can remember it. I can remember just about anything I read...hear is another thing. That takes longer. I point to the torch. "Thank you for the light, Izark." He blinks at me, then nods and returns to watching the direction we're going.

My fear recedes again as I enjoy the view of the underground tunnel. The stalactites and stalagmites are interesting and the crystal glitter on the walls of some of the rooms we pass through is captivating. It would have been a shame to miss this.

Every now and again Noriko makes a sound of appreciation that brings my attention back from the wind. The walls of a larger cave opening --- which I'd been exploring by wind to see if it had any openings to the surface --- are sparkling in the torchlight. For a time my eyes are also captivated by the sight. Even I didn't know they could do that. One time she giggles and waves the torch back and forth. It takes a bit for me to see she's playing with the shadow of a pair of stalagmites and stalactites. It makes me smile to see it, too.

In little ways like this she's showing me who she is. To know that she can appreciate simple natural beauty without coveting it, that she can play in simple ways and find a way to laugh in the middle of unhappy circumstances, these are actually rather large to me. In my world those are rare, unless one is very young and unaffected by the adults around them as of yet. She isn't that young. I wonder just how young she is. She has the air of a dependent to her, of being sheltered, for all she has creative intelligence and understanding.

Being willing to be helpful is good also. The lazy and indolent are often unkind and prideful. I haven't seen either of those in her yet, but she could have been by now. It whispers to me that this might not be as bad as I believe it could be. I don't want to hear that, though. I don't want her here at all and my heart hurts for the both of us that she has to be. I'm glad we can't talk. I'd likely end up saying things that would hurt her, because she doesn't know, doesn't understand.

I turn away from my thoughts again, seeking for what's coming next. I don't like it suddenly. The wind brings me the sound of great rushing waters. This river has been silent until now. Rushing waters means a change in the elevation of the river, and that's not likely a good thing for us. I'm relieved when the wind also brings word that before that point is open space again. I will have to hope we can find a way out from there.

It's coming up fast, as the river moves that way. I can't give Noriko warning in time, so she has to bear with me grabbing her up again and leaping from the raft to land on rock. Again, it's my shoulder into her gut since I needed to grab up the bags in my other hand. I'm hoping to not have to do it that way ever again. I don't like it any more than she does.

"Wha--!" I've been grabbed up, bags and all, and the raft is rocking wildly, then he's kicking off of it and landing --- hard again. Really. Can we stop with that yet? You need a physics lesson. Of course, reality is a pretty harsh teacher. At least he's trying and I'm still alive. He's set me down gently again, mostly. Kinder eyes look at me this time. He probably got to relax on the quiet river also, particularly since I kept quiet. Maybe he was stressed about being in that forest.

I listen closely this time as he talks to me. The words are so different, not even like any Earth languages, but I think I can replicate the sounds. A few gestures. [Stay here. I'm going searching.] I'm guessing. He holds out his hand for the torch. I shake my head. I have to pee and there's a large rock here I can hide behind. I can't do that in the dark.

I hand him his bag instead. "Clothes. Noriko clothes." I tug on mine. "Izark clothes." I lightly and briefly take hold of his. I've been thinking about this while we were on the river. I point to his bag. "Izark clothes for Noriko?" I point to me again. He gives me a once over, then nods and crouches down to dig through his bag. Like I thought. I'd stick out like a sore thumb wearing Earth clothes on this planet.

I put her down immediately and look around the cave. It's quite large actually, with a tall fall of rock to our right and, thank goodness, a tunnel going up to our left in the back of the cave. It leads far enough away the wind can't tell me if that leads out or not. I'll need to explore.

We can't stay here. The puddle in the middle of the floor just to our closer left says that at spring floods, this room also floods. We won't have to worry about that today. "I'll need you to stay here while I find the way out," I tell Noriko, pointing to the floor, trying to get across she's to stay here.

The air flow is so faint that if she's with me her scent will hide the scent of the outdoors. We'll get out faster if I can leave her here. I also can't feel by air where the walls are. I only made the one torch and she'll have to wait in the dark, for all I'm sorry for it.

I hold out my hand for the torch. She shakes her head and hands me my bag instead. She tugs on the front of her dress. "[Word.] Noriko [word]." She reaches out and takes hold of the front of my jacket lightly. "Izark [clothes]." She points to my bag. "Izark [clothes word] Noriko?" She points to herself again.

Yes, she is intelligent, to already understand her clothes will make her stand out once we get out of here. I could leave her here to die and if someone found her they'd wonder at that, too. I'm kicking myself for thinking that thought as I look her over. I haven't got anything to fit her, but...perhaps what I wear when the nights are too cold. It'll be too much, but it's simple.

I nod and get into my bag, pulling out the simple pants and shirt. Anyone will also wonder at them as well, but it's enough if I can say I found her with her clothing ragged enough she needed anything until we could get to a shop. I sigh to myself. I'm not going to like that expense. I've not worked the past month as I worked to get here alone.

He hands me a bundle of clothes. I head to the rock with that, my satchel, and the torch. A hand on my shoulder stops me. I look back and he gestures for the torch. How do I say it? I can't even gesture with my hands full like this.

I sigh and hand him the torch, then cover my eyes with the hand that was freed up. I uncover them and scowl at him. He gives me a slightly humored look and walks to the wall of the cave and leans on it while holding the torch, dropping his bag on the floor next to him. He crosses one ankle over the other and looks at me, [Well?] I nod and head for the protection of the large rock.

Ah, I grab her shoulder and motion for the torch again. She's headed behind the tall rocks, but she's going to have her hands full. They're full now and we don't need her to drop the torch, then drop into the river in the dark.

She looks irritated, looks at her bundles, then sighs and hands me the torch. She covers her eyes with the now--free hand, then scowls at me. I can't help the laugh, although I keep it silent. Like I want to peep at a young thing like her. I pick up my bag and walk to the wall and lean against it. I drop the bag at my feet and cross one foot over the other to make it obvious I'll stay put so she can see what she's doing. That satisfies her and she heads behind the rock fall.

I don't need to see her anyway, when I have the wind to tell my ears what she's doing, and my nose. Some sounds are unusual, but the pungent smell is not. I make the wind go away from me for a bit until I hear a splash into the river. That makes me think, though. It would be best if I also took care of that while we're here by the river. She's where she won't see me, also. That may become problematic later, but I'll worry about it at that later time. Does she even know how to use the restroom out in the wild? Well...I guess she just taught me she does to some degree. We'll see, I suppose.

I wonder many things while waiting for Noriko. She takes her time, or so it seems to my impatient self that wants to be going. When she finally comes out from around the rock, I'm a bit dismayed. It's no wonder she took so long. The pants are rolled up many times, the pant waistband rolled down, the sleeves rolled up until the cuffs are as thick as heavy winter fur coat cuffs would be, and the shirt is pleated under the tie.

Even still it's way too large for her. I'm skinny, but not skinny enough for her to not drown in my clothing. I shake my head, but I know there isn't anything for it but to find clothes to fit her, and we can't do that until we get out of here.

She's still in her socks and shoes, but I don't complain for now. If we come across sharp rocks in these caves, she'll need them and I don't have extra shoes. She also still has her bag, but I won't complain about that yet either. It took her enough strength just to get rid of her clothes. Little by little, faster than she wants, she is losing her world and all ties to it. I understand this. It will still have to go, eventually.

I can hear the rushing of the river, which has been quiet until now. I wonder if there's a waterfall ahead and that's why the sudden exit from the raft. I've stripped and done my business. (Including number two so I won't have to do that for another day at least. My math book won't need the last six pages of the worked odd problems. That will be an embarrassing non--verbal conversation to have the next time I need to go. One problem of a maiden being rescued by a knight and no other servants in sight. Can't ask him all the delicate female questions without both of us wishing we were anywhere else.) All of that is now in the fast flowing river.

I try hard not to think of my only Earth clothing gone, although I was always more than ready to shed it when I got home from school. I've kept my socks and shoes. My feet are too tender and pampered from a modern lifestyle to go barefoot for who knows how many days we're going to hike.

It takes a while to get dressed. The clothes are simple enough. It's that he's a lot taller and bigger than me. I have to roll down the pant top, roll up the pant legs (a lot), roll up the sleeves --- get the picture? At least there's a tie that I use to keep the pants up and cinch down the top with vertical pleats until it isn't so baggy I can't move for swimming. I did keep my school shirt to wear underneath. Might need the extra layer and being white it will be easier to hide. The socks and shoes go back on and I think I'm ready to go.

He's waiting a bit impatiently. He'd walked about a little, the shadows of the room flickering as the torchlight moved towards the river and back. I hold out my hand for his bag. If he's leaving, he's going to come back for that at least. A pause and a raised eyebrow. I frown and insist. Light dawns in his eyes and the most compassionate look I've ever seen on his face has me frozen, mesmerized.

The strap of the bag is in my hand and he's moving off before I thaw. After a pause, I lean against the wall, watching the light in the room fade. Then it occurs to me to wonder why he didn't just take me with him, and if he can see in the dark, why did he want the light? I sigh and slide down the wall to sit until I give up and lie down, putting his bag under my head with my satchel under that.

Noriko walks straight up to me and holds out her hand. When I lift my bag, she shakes her hand and motions for it. I raise my eyebrow at her. The expression on her face is determined, but the tears are still in her eyes as she frowns, trying to prevent them. How can I say no to a face like that? If it will bring her comfort to think I'll come back for her because I'll come back for things, then I'll let her keep the bag. I don't need it for what I'm doing anyway.

I drop the straps of my bag over her beseeching hand and leave. I can't stay in front of that face. My angry fear wants to leave her here, where she couldn't get out and no one would find her, so it isn't a lie that I might do it. I don't like seeing that in myself, even if it would be another way to escape my fate.

Chapter Text

It takes me a long time to find the way out. It's a long way up through many meandering maze-like caves, and I'll have to create the opening we pass through. The air comes in from the outside only through very small cracks in the wall. I hope Noriko will have the stamina to make the climb. It isn't as hard to get back to her, since I can follow my own trail back.

I've spent the time trying to focus on the elusive air, and having to drag my thoughts back again and again from the situation I've found myself in. My mind goes around in the same unproductive circles it always has, only now with more anxiety because of more unknowns than before. I only know now that the Awakening is a girl, and that she's polite. The rest is all the same. So I'd rather not think about it.

If only I could face this as a new job. I have someone new to protect and get to where she needs to go, and then I can move on. It's not going to be that easy, but ...I wish I could think of it that way.

My stomach wakes me up, like it usually does, with nightmares. The space around me is so dark I'm disoriented. My heart is pounding and all I can hear is a faint hissing, like a tea kettle set on low. My stomach clenches with hunger. I sigh and try to remember where I am again. There's a faint draft which means air. That's good. Maybe I've left my air conditioning vent closed a little too tightly so it's hissing. 

I always get a snack when I get home, but I missed that and it feels like I may have missed dinner as well. I wonder what's in the fridge that I can raid and if Mom left me some dinner. Then I wonder why she didn't come get me, or send David. There's a faint noise and my eyes are open again. Slowly the room I'm in begins to be lit by a distant but increasing light. My heart drops when the cavern comes into view and I groan slightly.

I push up to sitting and lean dejectedly back against the rock wall. Can I even eat the food in this place? And the river going by makes my mouth dry. How bad are the parasites for Earthlings? Can I drink it without dying of dysentery? I close my eyes again. I hate this. ...I'm hungry. Like most people, I'm rather grumpy when hungry.

When I arrive back in the lower river cavern, Noriko is sitting against the wall where I left her. Her eyes turn to me and say she wishes she wasn't still there, the same as I wish she still wasn't there. If it could have been a shared dream that we could wake up from, that would be nice. Our eyes part and I sigh. I'm startled slightly, then have to smile. I don't look at her, though. Sharing that thought, and even the sigh, is a commonality we can't deny.

My angry mind wants to reject that we can have things in common, that we share even that much camaraderie, but other parts of me are glad for it. I may walk with others, but sharing things in common with them is rare, and treasured.

I sigh at myself and join her. She points to her mouth, then her stomach. Her words are likely a complaint of hunger. I nod and trade her the torch for my bag. I've only got a little to snack on and we've got a long way to go to get to real food anywhere. I wonder what time it was in her day when she was dragged here. How different is her world? 

His first look at me is about the same as I feel. Disappointed I'm really still here. We both sigh at the same time, then carefully don't look at each other while we try not to laugh. When he gets to me, I point to my stomach, then my mouth. "Hungry." He nods and crouches down, handing me the torch. I hold it out of the way as he opens his bag and hunts through it.

He glances back up at my satchel that was uncovered and pauses long enough to point to the satchel, and then the river. I try to keep the frown off my face. I get that the satchel has to go if the clothes had to. I open it to show him it has things in it and point to his bag. He looks in the satchel, pauses, then gestures to the floor. He wants to see first, I guess. I'm good with that, so I nod.

My eye catches her bag, where it had been underneath mine, which is warm as if she's only recently come from resting on it again. Likely she slept, only having the dark for company. I point to her bag, then the river. It needs to go while we're here, so it can stay hidden from the rest of the world. 

She wants to frown. She picks up the bag, along one long side, oddly, and opens it. It has things in it. She points to my bag. I give a half-hearted nod. I can understand she'd like to keep things important to her, if she has anything with her that could be considered such.

We sit near each other. When I've pulled out my bag of dried berries and seeds for her, she's already put one thing back into her bag and is studying the next item. I'll wait to give her the food for now. She's focused.

While he goes back to hunting for food, I pull everything out of the satchel and carefully consider each item. The math book. I pick it up and look at it. It's a heavy thing. I'd hate to make him have to carry it, even if it does mean I could leapfrog their society forward a thousand years with it, most likely. I weigh it, flip through a few pages, then stick it back in the satchel. It isn't worth it. I don't like carrying it.

Notebooks. One of them fresh I just bought to use as a journal. I pick that one up. I'd like to keep that. Maybe it will help me to write about the crazy stuff that's going to happen. I woke up from sleeping back here, so I'm likely here to stay. It isn't a comforting thought. I put the notebook in front of him, on the other side of the satchel. He looks at it but waits for me to finish sorting.

If the notebook comes, the pencil case comes with. I open it to make sure. Two pens -- will run out of ink eventually, four pencils, the pencil sharpener -- essential in this world most likely, a nice white eraser. I close it with a nod and put it on top of the notebook. He picks it up and opens it to see for himself.

The other books... one of them is my math notebook. I flip through it. There are empty pages in the back. I think I'll want them, so I tear out the math notes and jam them in the satchel. Once the notebook is a shadow of itself with only clean pages, I put it on top of the journal. The little one can be my language dictionary. If I can write down the words and sounds, I might be able to learn them better than just hearing them. I'll use the pen for that: it will be important.

No, on second thought, I don't want the memories to be smudged and lost. That's the problem with pencils. They'll last longer, but the words won't. I'm supposed to memorize the language. If that gets smudged, maybe it will make me work harder. I'll save the pens for the memories. Thankfully he puts the pencil case back down on the notebooks without removing anything.

A thin book with a soft cover is put down outside the bag, near me. It has an odd spiral of metal along one side to hold the pages together. It will have to be hidden, but maybe she can keep it. She opens an odd box, looks at the things in it, taking inventory, then puts it with the book.

I pick it up and open it like she did. It's smooth to the touch and the fastener odd. Inside are things similar enough to what's in this world -- things to write with. These things also can be replaced, but they're small things she can hold on to for now.

There's the sound of tearing then another of the same sort of books is in the little pile in front of me. Pages already written on in a strange language go into her bag. She wants to be able to write. Perhaps that's one of the ways she hopes to find comfort in this strange world she's suddenly in. I wonder. 

A strange looking thing is next, but when she uses it to brush her hair, I understand. She pulls her short hair back and puts it up to be out of her way for now. I don't think it helped much. Her short bangs are still in her face, but, then, that is also like me. I also have long bangs that hang in my face that my bandanna can't hold back.

The brush is odd enough it will have to go, but it also can wait until we find a shop. I can feel my thin coins already slipping through my fingers and they aren't even in my hands yet. Can she earn her own? I wonder.

What's left? My brush. I pick that up and use it, then put my hair up in a ponytail using the one emergency elastic I keep on the brush, then set the brush down on the notebooks next to the pencil case. He shifts uneasily, but leaves it. It will have to go once I can get a replacement, then. The mirror and lip gloss. Who needs them? They're just a woman's armor ...in my world. More likely just fodder for curiosity here. I move to put them in the satchel and he reaches for the mirror. Eh? I hand it over, curious.

He puts it on the ground in front of him and sends me a questioning look. Waving hands over it and peering into it. Ah... fantasy... so... scrying is it? I shake my head. "Nope, not a fortune teller; just a high school student." I pick it up and look into it, checking my face and hair, then pull the lip gloss back out and put it on using the mirror and hand it back to him.

I look at the lip gloss as he peers into the mirror. I wonder if I'll wish I had the gloss to use as chapstick? What's it like outside? I roll it in my fingers a bit, then put it back into the satchel. It's too modern, and I'm not really a make-up kind of girl.

He holds the mirror out towards me but doesn't let it go. He really doesn't believe me, or he's never seen a mirror before. I shrug and take it. He's, no Izark's, got the torch jammed next to him between two rocks. Mirrors reflect the sun. Will it reflect the torch light? I attempt the experiment, then point to the faint light farther in the back of the cave and make it move by making the mirror move. When he looks back at me in some astonishment, I shrug. "That's it. That's all it can do," and I shove it in the satchel. Izark doesn't complain this time.

Two small things are next. She studies them, then moves to put them into her bag, but I've recognized one of them. I reach for the small round glass in a strange setting that reflects the light and the world around us. Noriko lets me have it. It's like the mirrors of the seers. Is she a seer? I put it on the floor and try to ask her with gestures more than words. Noriko ponders until she shakes her head and says words that seem to say she isn't one. I'm not sure I've gotten my question across properly.

She tries again and nothing in what she does says she would know how to use a mirror as a focus to see the present or the future. It's possible that isn't a skill on her world, although she seems to understand what one might be. It would've been helpful if she had been. We could stay away from pursuit better if we knew it was coming. When she puts it back into the bag again, I don't complain. It's one less thing to carry and have to hide, even if it is small.

The final thing to be picked up is something so odd, I can't even conceive what it is. Two books, a box of writing things, and a brush are sufficient, I think. I'm sure we don't have a replacement for whatever this last thing is, but it can't come just for that reason. She puts it on the pile in front of me.

Let's see.... What's left? Only the most essential thing of any woman: the zip-lock emergency kit. Only two pads.... That's likely a bad thing if I start before we get to another woman. I feel panicked at just that thought. I've got my handkerchief in my pocket (he actually had a pocket, surprisingly, in this baggy pajama-like outfit he gave me to change into). Four bandaids, three safetypins, two bobbypins. Man, I wish I'd put in that emergency sewing kit now. ...Not much, but it's coming. I put it with the notebooks, and look up at him. Izark reaches down, picks up the emergency kit and puts it on the satchel. 

I shake my head and put it on top of her bag. She looks back firmly at me, for the second time since we met. For all she's frightened and weak, there are times she'll stand up to me. I push that, to see how far she'll go. She has to be able to obey me or she might be killed. Outside this cave is dangerous for her.

When she reaches for the thing again, I bat her hand away from it, frown and shake my head. You can't bring it. What will she do?

Noriko breathes out an exasperated breath and looks at me, frustrated. I don't relent. She narrows her eyes, willing to fight even harder. What will I learn about the Awakening this time?

My lips pinch tight and I can feel the fighting spirit well up in me. I shake my head and reach for it. He bats my hand aside and frowns, shaking his head back. I blow an exasperated breath, but he doesn't relent. I narrow my eyes. He just asked for it.

Chapter Text

What strange creature have I brought out of the Sea of Trees? My mind is reeling. I had never expected to have met a creature such as this one. Her disguise as a weak young girl is deceiving.

I can't say I'm angered by the deceit. Rather, I'm both astounded and embarrassed. It's more than I can take in, and it continues on and on without a way for me to interrupt and stop her. I'm feeling rather powerless, actually. It's almost frightening that the entire strength of the Sky Demon isn't enough to combat the angry Awakening.

How does one stop the flow of words, the emphatic pointing, the teaching? I've already given up and Noriko doesn't see it, can't tell, she's so lost in her need to teach, to show me in great detail just why she should be allowed to bring the strange thing I don't understand. I still don't know how it's related to the teaching, but just that much is more than enough.

It was a simple thing to understand her pictures for simple concepts: [sun], one rising and setting of the sun is a [day], a set of [days] to make [a set time period]. [Blood] surprised me, but it was the lead in for what was next.

I've now learned things I never in my lifetime thought to learn. How a woman's body works, that it bleeds, that it bleeds because that's normal for a woman who isn't pregnant. That much was astounding, that she would openly teach me something like that as our first real long conversation.

What happened after was embarrassing and I couldn't get Noriko to stop. Somehow in her teaching, something made her decide she also needed to then tell me what happens when a man and a woman lie together to make that pregnancy happen. I still don't know why she needed to add that, nor do I understand how she knows exactly how it happens.

I understood what she taught me, it's the how. If she isn't a seer, are there seers in her world that learned these things? No one knows what goes on inside the body, other than what can be felt from the outside. How can she know these small things, draw these pictures of what happens inside, as if she's been inside to see?

Finally, the words pouring from her mouth stop and she frowns at the pictures in front of her. I try to recover as she's silent, desperate to have the quiet for even a moment. Because I'm trying to learn what she is, I notice that she's suddenly uncomfortable, as if the power of the teacher has left her and she's suddenly the weak girl again, dismayed at what's happened. I understand that, too, but perhaps I'm reading too much into it from my own experiences.

She erases the many pictures she's drawn, particularly the embarrassing ones, leaving up only the picture of day and the set time period of days. Then she points to the thing she wants to take with us and firmly says words and draws a circle around a half-portion of one of the days. The word for blood is in that set of words, as is the word for day as she makes the circle.

The sun comes out for me, now that she's made her final point to tie them all together. If a woman bleeds, something must absorb the blood. This thing I don't recognize nor understand does that.

Noriko glares at me one more time, the Teacher still in there and I retreat from it. I already had given up, but for that reason I won't prevent it at all. We'll have to find another woman for that to be replaced. I have no idea how to help her with that. She knew that, obviously.

She puts it back on the pile of things to go with us and firmly says two words. I keep my mouth closed. That's always the answer in the face of an upset woman who's been scolding. I've learned that watching wise men who have wives.

I'm relieved when Noriko relaxes to rest on her hand and remembers she's hungry, asking for food again. I hand over the small bag of what I have. I'm glad to learn quietly this time, by observation again.

I make my final point, glaring at Izark, then pause, finally coming up for air. Blinking, I look at what I've drawn in the dirt on the rock floor, not wanting to waste precious ink or graphite. OMG! I bite my lip, trying to fight down the embarrassment. My friends would alternately berate and tease me. "Noriko, ‘T.M.I.' means ‘Teach More Info' to you. Please stop! How hard is it to remember it's ‘Too Much Info'?"

The pictures in the dirt scold me even worse. I started with the 28-day cycle -- that's four lines of seven marks each, the last line circled fully. Just that's enough to make me blush, now the lecture's over. But next to it is the picture of the egg sack, Fallopian tube, uterus, etc. That was the explanation of why there's a 28-day cycle. I'd pantomimed a finger-slice across my wrist then drips of blood to explain that word, then drawn drips of blood from the...well, you know. I consciously don't put my hand over my face. It's always better to leave it at a logical lecture and move on.

It's worse than that, though. He's male and I'll be traveling with him for a while, so my logical reasoning (at the time) went that he also needed to understand what would happen if he decided to have his fun with me. The awkwardly drawn private male anatomy staring at me is mocking me the most, along with the very rough diagrams of the nine months of gestation of a fetus.

Yeah, I went overboard again. Definitely T.M.I. I sigh and wipe the pictures away, but leave the hashed cycle up. I still have my last comment to make. I point to the emergency kit, specifically the pads. "These will only handle the blood for...," I circle the top half of the first hash line of the circled week, "half a day. At most."

I glare at Izark and he leans back a bit. His eyes are shell-shocked. Of course. Everyone I lecture ends up looking that way. I pick up the emergency kit and forcefully put it back on top of my notebooks. "It's. Going." I say and dare him to object one more time.

He doesn't. I relax, slightly, then point to my hungry tummy again, now that it's reminding me I still need to feed it, then my mouth again. "I'm hungry. Do you have anything? I'm only going to get grumpier." I can't help the slump to my hand, resting my elbow on my crossed knees, and the puppy dog eyes again while I wait for him to translate it.

He reaches down next to him on his far side and picks up a small tied sack that he hands over. I open it, curious. It looks like seeds and nuts and maybe a few dried berries. Snack. I taste each thing individually and slowly. New flavors. All of them. The textures are the same, though. I hold the sack and wait. We'll see if I get any sudden aches before I eat more. "Thank you," I say.

She pours some of the mixture into her hand, looking at each thing separately. She tries things one by one, with time between each thing, as if testing to see if they'll poison her, and which one might. It goes along with her intelligence. I frown inside.

How different is her world? Is she also worried that mine is too different? That although she may be human in form, inside she could be harmed by what's here?  It shows caution, worry, care for her own life, and an understanding that she has to stay here and not starve regardless. It's a small courage, that she would eat without complaint, even if carefully. She waits to eat more, to see what her body will do with the new foods. Again, she is grateful. "[Thank you.]"

"Thank you," I say in my own tongue.

"Sheshe." At least, that's what it sounds like. 

"Sheshe," I obediently repeat and he nods; although, now I wonder if it's the name for the snack, and not the word for "Thanks". I point to the seed mixture. "Sheshe?" He shakes his head and gives me another new word. I nod and say, "Sheshe." He nods. I got it right the first time, then. It's a pretty word, actually. One I'm likely to remember from off the bat. I'll have to remember to write it phonetically, though: shaye--shaye, but with less "y", and it means "thanks" or maybe the more polite "thank you".

Immediately she says it back. I nod. She understood that I was giving her the word to use and wants to learn it. She'll very quickly know how to talk to others. That will likely cause me more difficulties, but it'll be a while. She points to the bag in her hand. "Thank you?"

I shake my head and give her the name for the mix of foods. She nods in understanding and says, "Thank you," again, both for the new word and to confirm she understood rightly. I nod again. She understands.

I'm not cramping yet, although I don't really know how long you're supposed to wait until you learn if your system is going to reject a new food. I try a small combination of the seed/nut/fruit mixture (my friend's brother called it "gorp" all the time, but it's just trail mix, I suppose). The flavors go together okay. I point to the bag and raise an eyebrow. He shakes his head, so I just hold on to it.

She's hungry enough to not wait long enough before eating the rest of the mixed berries and seeds in her hand. I wish I could offer her more if she's that hungry, but I can't, so it will have to be enough. And if she dies from eating a poison to her, what could I do? I shush that part of me, still not liking it, still wishing that part of me wasn't bitter that I can't kill her and escape my destiny.

Noriko asks without words if I want some food as well, I shake my head. I'm not hungry, nor is there really enough there for both of us to eat freely if it takes us too long to get to the closest village. I won't die of hunger any more than I'd die of anything else.

He's not in a hurry at the moment. That's nice. I have a few more questions I want to ask. He gets one in first.

I feel recovered enough to ask my question that I really want answered. Trying carefully to remember the words she used, I ask her how she knows about the things that are so small that create human life. How did she learn what she taught me?

My eyes bug out. Really? He wants to know more... about that embarrassing topic? I rifle through the dust until I find something closer to a grain of sand. "Egg," I hand it to him and put it carefully on his palm. "Sperm is smaller." I try to pantomime "smaller". He's telling me with his face I'm lying.

At first she assumes I've asked what size they really are. She hunts through the dirt before us and picks up something between her forefinger and thumb and asks for my hand. I hold out my hand. She drops a tiny grain of sand into it. "[Egg.]" That was what comes from the woman, I remember. She pantomimes even smaller for the other. I find it difficult to believe. How can one see something smaller than a grain of sand, or even of dust, since she hasn't gone to pick that up yet.

The Teacher returns, but this time not so angry. It's a lesson that I can understand. I've seen examples myself as I've sat watching raindrops slipping slowly down the window outside my room as a boy. She explains how I could see things at a distance as if they were close, small things made to look larger. It's as logical a reasoning as her other lesson. There's no magic, no special power, only an understanding of nature. When she returns and the Teacher fades into the background, she asks me if I understand. 

When I come up for air again, there are diagrams of lenses and refraction on the ground in front of me. Great. First a sex ed class, now an optics lecture...at least I kept it basic, it looks like. I'm frowning, trying to see if the idea would have come across. Finally I give up and look at him with a raised eyebrow, asking if he got it. I can't draw a microscope and he wouldn't understand if I did.

I rise to my feet and make a small hole in the dirt in front of her, but away from where she's been drawing and writing. I walk to the pool and scoop up some water in my hand and return to pour just a little bit on top, carefully. It makes the hole I made look larger, and the dirt underneath it.

Izark rubs his head, then gets up. He draws a small dot on the dirt then goes to the river. He scoops up a small handful of water, then drips it carefully until it covers his dot, which, of course, is now magnified. I nod and give him a rewarding smile. He got it. He gives me a shy smile back that makes me freeze again, just for a second. That was just too cute.

Noriko nods and looks up at me to smile. She's happy I've understood and I can't help but smile shyly back. It's another shared understanding, and I am changed slightly. Noriko understands how the world works. Is that something I can put hope into?

She doesn't know what I am. I'm not like many things in my own world, and perhaps not like things in hers. Can she help me understand myself? If in understanding myself better, can I overcome my dark destiny? If she doesn't know I'm supposed to be evil, can she help me avoid becoming it?

I'm afraid of the question, it's something so far from what I know. Yet at the same time, I desperately cling to it. If she can do that, then I'm willing to keep her alive, have a reason to not kill her. I wish for that also.

I've been unknowingly staring at Noriko and as I come out of my confused musings, she's also now staring at me, calmly. I'm embarrassed to have been lost in my thoughts and try to recover. She's unimpressed either way and I can only sigh at myself. I will lose often to the Teacher, I think.

As he takes his seat again, I brush away the lens and crossed lines, etc. Optics lesson's over. I eat more of the trail mix, now that I'm back in my body again. It hasn't cramped yet and I'm hungry still. I eat several bites, then look up at him. He's calculating, thinking something. When he sees I'm watching him looking at me, he startles in embarrassment, then crosses his arms as if he's all important and nods at me. A reward for being smart about my cautious eating? Maybe. But I still want to ask my question.

"Izark," she says slowly, as if to warn me there's more. But she likely also has questions, like I do. I shift and watch her and her finger again. It reaches out and draws yet another new picture. This time it's a sun, a full one rather than the half sun she drew to teach [day]. Then she draws a small circle next to it.

She asks me for my word for sun again, so I give it to her. She repeats it, trying to memorize it. She points to the small circle and the line between the suns in [day], then pats the ground we sit on and gives me a new word. I absorb, but don't decide I know it yet.

"Izark," I say cautiously, looking back at my calendar. I've left the drawing that means "day": the sun rise and sun set on either side of a line meaning "earth". He settles again. I draw a sun, then a planet next to it. He's said the word for sun before and I ask him for it again, repeating it. Then I point to the planet, and the line in the "day", and pat the rock we are sitting on. "Planet," I say and wait for him to get it.

Noriko draws a circle around the small circle, with an arrow for motion and draws one of the marks from the set of days that means one day. She wants me to understand that one turn of the small circle, planet, is one day. It takes me a moment to understand that if I stand in one place and see the sun rise and then the sun set, and then the sun rise again, then the place I've stood has perhaps turned in a full circle while the sun stood still.

Again this is an understanding of nature, but this time of a large scale rather than a tiny one. I try to catch my breath before she continues on. She does wait this time for me to be ready. I hope she'll continue to be slow this time, but if she is slow, then this part's important to her, and perhaps a question rather than a teaching.

I draw a circle around the planet, with an arrow on it, then draw a single tick mark next to it. "One day." I point to the sign for day again, then repeat, circling my finger over the planet once and pointing to the day diagram. He cautiously agrees. I'm unsure because I don't know if the scientific understanding of this world has reached this level yet.

She draws a new circle, this time from the small circle, back to it, motion around the sun. She gives me another new word, then points to the period of time from before. Ah, that's why she left it without erasing it. She draws twelve, then a thirteenth line under the new larger motion circle. A full turn of the planet around the sun. One year. It's thirteen of those lengths of time -- for her home planet. That's enough for me to know that for sure she isn't from mine.

I draw a circle around the sun from the planet and back to it. "Year," I say. He's not going to get it yet, so I point to the 28-day month and then draw twelve tick marks under the year circle. Oh, right. At a moon cycle, it's a little under...or over?...thirteen months. I add another tick mark. "Thirteen months in a year, a cycle of the planet around the sun."

Now it's more pictures. A swaddled infant with a symbol near it and a word from the embarrassing lesson. Then a crawling child, one finger of motion around the sun and one tick mark. Then a walking child, two fingers of motion around the sun, two tick marks. By the third I can nod that I understand. Each turn around the sun is one year of age.

Her finger then draws only tick marks. My eyebrows can't help but go up as the number of lines becomes so many as to end at one hundred. Even she looks tired and she rubs her finger, which must surely be getting sore now from all the drawing she's been doing. But, I think she's going to answer one of my other questions, or several of them.

He nods. He might have it. I'm not sure. I take a breath. My finger is getting sore. I draw a zero, then an infant baby, head and swaddling only. "Birth." He's heard that word already, I'm sure of it, even if I can't remember the entire rant. A single tick mark and a crude drawing of a crawling baby. "One year." I wave my finger once around the year circle. Another tick mark and a drawing of a walking toddler. "Two years." Two circles of the sun.

Izark seems to be getting it. Another tick mark and a drawing of a running child. "Three years." Three circles of the sun. He's got it, I'm sure, so I just do tick marks now. Lots of them, until I reach one hundred. Last time I'm doing that, I decide. He's got his eyebrow up at that many, too.

She marks the ages that a child will stay with their parents, then the ages they leave their parents, the ages they begin to have a family of their own, how long they stay a family (indeterminate since she leaves it unbounded on the far end). And then she moves to the far end and puts the age range a man dies and that a woman dies. It's older than on my planet. Most men die in war and battle at young ages. That would be hard to explain on this diagram at this time, though, so I won't. The rest of the ages are similar, if perhaps slightly older.

I bracket the first twenty one marks and try to draw two parents and a child all under one crude house. "Child, at home." I bracket from eighteen to twenty three and draw a picture of a single person under a roof with walls, then an arrow from the child with the parents to that one child. "Moving out." I bracket from nineteen to twenty six. It's close enough. The picture for that one is two again: male and female in another house. "Marriage."

Then I draw an inclusive bracket from there to about fifty and draw a family in a house. After that is just the couple again, but a bracket isn't necessary. I do bracket from about seventy-two to eighty-nine (guessing on my part...I haven't paid enough attention to current lifespans) and put a man lying down, "dead", then another bracket from about seventy-four to about ninety-two and put a woman lying down dead. I don't say it, though, just look at him. He's got a somber look, like mine. He's got it, I think.

Her finger counts the lines until she reaches seventeen. She circles that one and points to herself. "Noriko." She names the age and makes sure I understand with the planet around the sun, but I've already understood and am already counting.

I circle the seventeenth tick mark. "Noriko." I put my hand on my chest. "Seventeen years." I circle the sun once and point to the mark. He looks at it, counting with his eyes. He unfolds his cloth-wrapped arms and reaches out with one long one.

I reach out and she watches closely as I circle the nineteenth mark. Just as I'm surprised she's as old as she is, she's surprised at my age. But I'm not done. I reach for her thirteen marks below the motion line around the sun and erase a line. For that number of days, we have only twelve time periods. I look at her carefully to see if she'll be depressed again at the confirmation she isn't on her own world.

The long finger mesmerizes me as Izark gives me what I wanted. Nineteen. Oh my. That's younger than I thought. Now I do blush, but I try to hide it. Except...now his hand is moving down to the year month marks. He erases the thirteenth month line and says a number in his own tongue. Twelve twenty-eight-day months to a year.

Instead she's lit up like the Teacher again. But she doesn't lecture, instead she reaches for her smaller book and one of the writing tools in the little box. She comes to my side and kneels next to me. Quickly things are written on the page. I try to keep up. She's writing characters, not just marks this time. The marks were simple for our conversations. She has real numbers from her world.

Okay. I'm a geek -- and a high school girl. I have to know, now. I grab the "dictionary" notebook and hunt for a pen. This may as well be inked. I stand up, careful of my snack which I take one more mouthful of, and hand to him as I kneel down next to him. I open the cover and curl it around to the back.

click. Pen to paper, mouth held carefully. "Zero, one, two, three, four...," I go up to twenty, one number per line, then by tens, then one hundred, one thousand, ten thousand. That's far enough. Hash marks and characters for the first ten. Characters only for the rest of them.

Noriko hands me the book and pen when she's done. I look at them, the pen in particular, trying to understand how it works. There's no ink pot, but it leaves ink behind. It seems there may be ink inside of it. I put the pen to the paper and write my world's character for ‘1' next to hers. I confirm before I write the ones that were skips, but the base is the same as here. Perhaps figuring is figuring wherever you go.

When I'm done, she takes them back and has me say them again, writing characters next to them that seems to be a way for her to remember how to say them. I shiver inside just a little. She'll know how to speak, read, and write in my language far before I'm ready.

I hand Izark the pen and paper. He takes them cautiously, looks curiously at the pen, then puts the pen to the paper. He writes symbols for each of the numbers I've written, confirming he's got the skips correctly figured out.

They aren't too different...meaning they do things base ten here, too. Good the "ten fingers, ten toes" rules apply here. I'd bet anything decimals work too, but I don't want to go into that today. I take the pen and paper back and ask him to tell me the names again so I can write them phonetically. That's going to take some time to memorize.

She draws in the book the picture that's on the floor, then says a number only pointing to the day, not the set of days. She writes that number, and then makes marks next to the first symbols she wrote. Then she asks me how many days are in one year of my planet. I'm not sure why she wants to know to that detail when the months were enough.

I shift back to the diagram, but from his side this time. "Noriko planet, Earth," I point to the planet, "three-hundred sixty-five days," give or take a little. I point to the day symbol, then sit next to him again and write "365", then three tick marks next to the "100", six tick marks next to the "10", pointing also to the "60", and five tick marks next to the "1", pointing to the "5". For good measure I draw a planet with one rotation ring around it and draw a "1", then draw a sun and the year rotation, putting the "365" next to it.

"Izark's planet?" I ask with a raised eyebrow and hand him the paper and pen for his turn.

She hands me the book and pen again, so I write them, making the same marks she did. I wonder if she knows how to negotiate in the market. People who understand numbers often also understand the value of money. That would be relieving.

He considers for a moment, then writes in his own symbols, saying their names and marking similarly to how I did, so I can understand how to read his number. He hands it back. From here, it's just algebra. I can do that in my sleep. The math book in my satchel is a calculus book. I don't bother to convert his age to my Earth. We aren't there. 

I wait patiently for her, watching her write neatly as she calculates using her number and the number I gave her. When she's done, she blinks in surprise. The Teacher has been on her this whole time, but learning now, using her knowledge. I wonder what result that has. Seers can say things that will change what happens in the future. Does her skill do that?

Her finger comes out and erases the marks we've circled and redraws them. She circles the nineteenth mark, the one I'd circled. She confirms that's my age and I nod. She points to it again. "Noriko." Her expression is a mixture of triumph and uncertainty that peeks through. To be a different age only because she's come here might be difficult. It's hard for me to believe, though, that she would be my same age. I point to the month diagram. How far can you go? Just how much older did coming here make you?

I've just done my age to his planet. The results are surprising. I blink at them, then go to the aging chart on the cave floor and erase the upper teens and redraw the tick marks. I circle the nineteen. "Izark." He nods, his curiosity eating at him, too. I point to it again. "Noriko." He stares at me. The days did it. And I'm only nineteen right now. Some day I'll pass him up since the planets don't move synchronously. I don't know how to explain that, though.

He looks at me with a challenge in his eyes, then points to the month diagram. I grin, then look at my numbers again. If I say the remainder are days then...I carefully write in his own symbols, as best I can [19 (years) 5 (months) 14 (days)] His eyebrows both go up and he points at me. "Noriko?"

She writes again briefly, then she tries to write in my numbers. Nineteen years, five months, fourteen days. I can't keep the surprise off my face. "Noriko?" I have to confirm. She nods.

I write on the floor my true age, then reach for the period of days. I circle the fourteenth day. "Noriko." She nods. I circle the mark nine days before that day. "Izark."

I nod. His eyes sparkle and it looks like he's trying hard to not grin, or something. He writes on the floor the same symbols [19 - 5 - ] then one I have to look up. He circles the fourteenth day on the month and points to me. "Noriko." Then he circles one nine days earlier. "Izark."

"Nine days! You're only nine days older than me?" He does smile now, triumphant. Trust a guy to want to be older. Now I do want to explain to him that in four months I'll be older by a day -- and forever after in increasing amounts, but I don't know how, so I just shake my head in amazement. Who knew? Of course, it feels weird to all of a sudden be almost two years older than I was. 

She exclaims in disbelief and I can only smile at her. It's good I'm older than her, even if only by that much. She hasn't the experience to survive here. I'll likely think of her as seventeen, or younger, for a long time -- except when she's teaching fiercely. Then she's similar to me in age and experience.

I write his exact age and my (Earth) date on the page, put the notebook and pen away, then pick up the satchel and head for the river. He stops me and waves me back. I let him look in it and he pulls out the math book. Lots of numbers, obviously, and all the curvy graphs and formulas for finite calculus. He looks at me like I'm some wizard or genius. I shake my head and put the satchel on the floor.

Taking the book from him, I flip to where we are in class. Chapter twelve. Indicating everything before it, I nod and point to my head. "I understand this. I've learned it this year." Indicating everything after it, I shake my head. "I haven't learned this yet." I point to that chapter, then frown, scratch my head, pull my notes out of my bag, point between them and that chapter and pantomime writing and thinking and not getting it. "Student." I say. "High school student."

Izark takes one of the sheets of notes, looking at the scratching out of wrong problems, false starts, and terribly long worked out problems I've spent most of my nights working on this past week. He shakes his head and hands it back.

I shove it all back into the satchel, sigh, and fling it into the river and watch it float out of sight and what little ring of light we have from the torch. What happened to your homework, Noriko? It went over the waterfall, teacher. I'm sorry. It was that or have the spike-worm monster eat it. Thinking of torchlight, I hope we didn't waste too much of it on my lectures.

When Noriko has thrown her bag with the things we won't take with us into the water, sad to see it go, I'm sure, I call her back. I have more questions and I want to distract her. The book she threw into the river was one full of the numbers and she let me know she was learning from that book, but still she sent it away. I let her decide.

When she's close enough to see the life pictures, I point to the three earliest and ask her which one she came from. I'm not surprised when she goes sad. Still, she crouches down and points to the one of a child with parents. Then she draws: mother, father, boy, girl, making the girl smaller than the boy. She points to the girl. "Noriko."

I sigh to myself. That's rather what I'd guessed. She's the youngest child of a family, and has been stolen from them. Protected until that moment, she misses them, and wishes to return. I'm sad for her sake, but there's still nothing I can do, for all I wish to.

Not really wanting to think about that, I point to the single person. "Izark?" I look at him and he nods. It was rather obvious, since he was alone in the middle of a strange forest just to run into me, and he uses his sword for a living (I'm guessing but I'll call it an educated guess).

She points to the single man. "Izark?" I nod. I've not been at home with family for far longer than those years bracketed, but I don't tell her that. She isn't surprised either. 

I start to erase things, then pause before erasing the planet and sun. In the newly cleared space, I draw another sun and planet. "Izark, do you know," I point to the original planet, "how can Noriko go from Izark's planet back to Noriko's planet?" I inscribe an arc from that planet to the new planet I've drawn.

She looks at the pictures, then draws one more. Another planet and sun. She doesn't want to ask this question, but she does, needing to know. [Do you know how to send me home?] I can only shake my head. She isn't surprised, but is sorrowful, wishing to hear otherwise.

Izark give me the expected, but unhappy answer. He shakes his head. "[No.]" I poke holes at various places inside the circle of "his" planet. "Does anyone on Izark's planet know how Noriko can go?" I inscribe the arc again. He pauses, then shakes his head again, giving me a look that is both sad and like he wishes he could say otherwise.

She pokes at "my" planet in various places, then asks it again. I can only answer in the negative again. I don't know anyone that knows how to send her home. Perhaps someone might have that kind of magic, but I'm not sure I'm willing to find out. If we ask that question, they'll ask why she's here and where she came from.

I suppose there is the possibility he wouldn't know. Most worlds are rather large. I'll have to do lots of research if I want to find anyone who might have clues even. I can't help the worried frown and have to bite my lower lip.

She has great knowledge from her world. I ask if anyone there would know. She shakes her head. She doesn't know how she came, and she knows of no one that would know how to send her. It worries me, that we can't know how and why this is happening to us. Who are you? Who is it that makes me have to live this destiny, that has brought Noriko here to live it? The question has plagued me since I learned what I was. 

Izark points to "my" planet and asks me in effect the same thing. Do I know how I got to his planet? I shake my head. "No." He asks also if anyone on my planet would know how. I suppose if one considered space ships, maybe, but interstellar travel is still only science fiction and I don't know where here is. I shake my head again. "No." It comes out in a whisper around the lump in my throat. I blink back the tears and finish wiping away the notes.

My question has made her even more sad and she erases the whole of what we've discussed. I approve. I don't need anyone finding this place to ask questions here. It's time to go. I put her things in my bag, and the food bag, and pick up the torch I'd set between rocks so we could talk. She follows me quietly as I head for the tunnel that will lead us up to the way out.

Chapter Text

Izark's got my things in his bag and is slinging it on his back. He swipes up the torch and looks over his shoulder at me. I make sure I've cleaned up properly then have the sudden urge to draw a calculus graph and formula. Wouldn't that make the archaeologists of the future scratch their heads? I smile to myself, but don't do it. Instead, I get moving, nothing to keep my arms company any more.

Now I'm thirsty, but I try to ignore that. I'm going to have to boil all the water for a long time to come before I can drink it. It's a third world problem, but this isn't a third world...it's a completely different world. I'm amazed I was able to eat at all without feeling sick, and I only ate enough to take the edge off. I need to adjust to whatever eating schedule he has anyway. Makes me want to have another biology lesson...full anatomy, and maybe with a cadaver...if I could get over my squeamishness at that thought. Maybe not.

As the torchlight becomes partially hidden from Izark moving up into the tunnel that rises from the place we've been, the sudden knot in my stomach explodes. I try to cry out and can't. I can't move and can hardly breathe. My legs are shaking so bad they give out and I barely manage to catch myself on the next step up with my arms so I don't topple backwards.

That was enough to get Izark's attention and the light stops moving then is coming back. That's all I see as my eyesight fades and spots dance in front of my eyes. My mind is shutting down and I try to hold on to just breathing, but I have to give up trying to keep down the sound trying to force it's way out my throat.

I've only gotten about four or five steps up when I hear a choking noise behind me, then scraping on the step. Has the food poisoned her? I turn quickly. Noriko has collapsed and is hanging onto the step in front of her as if to me when we first met. Her eyes aren't seeing and slowly a high sound begins to issue from her mouth. I call to her, trying to keep her present.

I'm sure now that the final thing we asked each other was too much. She's been doing well, but like I must give in to the weakness when I've worked too hard, carried too much of the Sky Demon, she's been carrying the Teacher, and angry for the first half of it. Her own deep fear of being in this strange place has risen to the surface and taken control of her mind.

It's like the first time. She can't hear my words, it's so bad this time. I set my bag down and wrap my arm around her. I have to sit higher than her in this tunnel. It takes me a moment to find a place to wedge the torch so it doesn't fall down or go out, then I can hold her with both arms. She's shivering like a leaf in a storm. I try to muffle her cries in my shoulder and put her ear over my heart so she can hear that there's another living thing in this place with her. I'm grateful again that she tries to fix the noisy part first.

That was always hardest for me, to be so alone, with no one to help me understand what was happening to me, why it hurt so much. It was no comfort to know I was being turned into something horrible and evil. My own heart is fearful, and I'm trying to keep it calm. Is she that much like me? Is she also going to be turned into something she doesn't want, and that's what the Awakening will be, that takes me from myself?

I try to not believe it. She knows she's the Teacher, for all it embarrassed her the first time. The second time and after that, it was natural, as if the first time was the time she pushed too hard, and after that was the level she knows how to control. I want to save her from herself if she is like me. If I can't, I can't save me.

The more rational me has a hard time believing that by becoming even more of a teacher she can change me in that way. I might become more knowledgeable about the world, but that's not going to make me want to become destructive. That very thought makes me want to laugh, although it's the laugh of the madman as much as anything.

I don't know anything any more, and even less having a Noriko in my arms as a weeping, frightened Awakening. I can only sigh and watch the wall next to us as I wait for her to come back to her senses again. I do wonder briefly how often I'll have to put up with this. It's so uncomfortable and we'll both be embarrassed again when it's over, even if it's necessary now to recovery.

"Noriko, Noriko!" Izark's voice makes it through but I can only instinctively lift my head. Vision is not functional and rationality is almost a distant memory that vaguely recognizes I'm gulping for air. Warmth in front of me. A strong arm around me that holds my head closely to that warmth. Slowly the warmth seeps into me and things start to calm down.

My eyes close, not able to see anyway. That allows my ears to work and the heartbeat under my ear lulls the shivering until I can breathe again. I don't move until I've checked all systems: the heart last of all because I'm afraid of what it's saying. I have to face it, though, to move forward. Rejecting it even still, I turn my head so my face is in his chest instead of my ear, and I grasp onto his shirt with both shaking hands.

"Gone," I whisper. "It's all gone." Everything but the essentials, everything that was a link to Earth. Even my way back. We're going farther away from where I came here, into the strange unknown, for who knows how long. My traitorous mind remembers the explosion, my friends talking to the police officer saying that I should have been a mass of body parts but I was missing.

My breath comes in gasps. Both of Izark's arms are around me now, trying to anchor me and give me some kind comfort. If I'm supposed to be there, dead...I should be grateful I'm living here, at least. I try to use the thought to anchor me to hope, but it's hard. It makes me think that there really isn't a way home and the tears won't stop. What an ungrateful idiot! To have a panic attack and cry now.

Eventually the tears do stop, to both Izark's and my relief. The thought that being alive here might mean there is a purpose I'm supposed to fulfill helps me to take a deeper breath and relax more, although I can tell that it's going to take a while for this pain in my chest to heal and the fear to leave. I can hold it at bay, like I've already done twice today, but until this world isn't so frighteningly unknown and strange, I won't be surprised if it surfaces frequently, as much as it's humiliating for me and embarrassing for Izark.

I take one more deep breath and lift my head to look at Izark, although my hands don't let go of his shirt yet. He looks at me, having been looking at the wall, waiting. "I'm sorry. Sheshe." The tears threaten again and I bite my lip to get them to stop. He finally sighs and rubs the top of my head. [Single sad word.] I wonder if that one means "sorry". I need to learn his word for sorry soon. I get the feeling I'm going to be saying it a lot. 

I force my fingers to let him go and drop my hands to the stone in front of me, not able to look at him. He pats me on the head one more time, then stands, picking up the bag and torch again. He holds his hand down for me. I let him help me stand, wondering if I'll be able to.

With his help, I'm able to get walking again. I let go about five steps up, needing my hands anyway to clamber up the rough-hewn step-like rock leading up and out of the cave system. After such an unusual prolonged emotional outburst, it's nice to just be quiet and focus only on the climbing.

Noriko finally turns her head so that she's hiding her face in my chest. She whispers a moan of great loss and sorrow, her hands gripping my jacket tightly as if to try to replace what she's lost with me. I'm very much not comfortable with that. I don't want to become hers, to become owned by what will make me evil, even if she isn't that now. Still, there's little I can do in the moment and she doesn't know.

She's still gasping for air, still shivering, so I wait longer. She is trying hard to calm down, to have her mind her own again. I also understand this, the fight to not let it take control.

When Noriko can finally look at me, it's up through her eyelashes, not directly. I have to fight the sudden thought that it's a very fetching look. She's embarrassed and apologizes again, thanking me again for my patience and presence.

Because I understand, I can only sigh and put my hand on her head and say, "You're welcome." She pries her fingers open and lets me go, trying hard to not let the tears continue. Moving forward now is best for both of us. I rise to my feet and gather up my things again, then reach out my hand for her. "Come, Noriko."

She reaches up a shaking hand and takes my hand tightly. She lets me pull her up and help her up the next step, then the next, until she's moved enough to be able to let go and take those steps on her own. I can't help but be sadly proud of her. It's hard to walk forward into the face of that fear. She has a quiet courage, for all she has the fear.

Later, I wonder if that means that I also have that same kind of courage. I'm also still walking forward each day, each moment, even knowing what they say I am. My heart clenches and my mind rejects it, but I'm again changed slightly, a different part of me relaxing just a little, relieved to have the thought that I also have some small courage. It makes me want to keep fighting my destiny, but not in anger. In hope.

These little changes. They aren't evil changes. Can I have hope?

I sigh and look up for the next hand--hold. We're going up, a lot. Maybe, if it's a fantasy world, I won't ever get sick, and I'll just be able to eat and drink without thought. And of course that thought isn't funny, as I'd hoped it would be. I'm the sort that would rather be safe than dead.

I hope there's toilet paper, and running water in the cities, and real food I can eat, and proper medicine, and...a reason I'm here. That thought holds me for a while, then they come back again. I can't really ever get my brain to be quiet for long. Finally I put a stop to the useless negativity. At least I don't have to take the calculus exam tomorrow.

Izark has stopped ahead. I finish climbing the stairs made for miniature giants, wondering if they really were made for such creatures. Maybe he left me alone before to go hunting them without me being present to freak out about it. That would have been a kindness to us both, if so.

He's looking at me somberly. I look back. As he hands me the torch, I say, "Sheshe, Izark." He stares at me, waiting. "Thank you for saving me." I point to his sword and wave my free hand as if lazily fighting. "Sheshe. ...Thank you for my life." I put my hand on my chest. "Sheshe. Thank you for tomorrow."

I bend down and draw the day diagram again, but this time I put in an extra sun. "Today." I point to the first line, then draw the tree, a spiky worm, the raft and river, each one towered on top of the other under it. I point to the next day and look up at him.

"Noriko's tomorrow," I draw the book and write numbers under that day. Then I erase it. "Because of Izark today," I point to "today" again, and draw a dead woman that I ‘x' out, then draw a man and a woman under "tomorrow", "Noriko's tomorrow is Izark's tomorrow." I look up at him again soberly. "Sheshe."

He gives me a pained look, then spins around and puts his palms on the wall behind him. It looked almost as if he was going to cry just before he spun. He swallows, then says in a roughened voice the word he used before for "you're welcome," and my name. As he begins to push hard on the wall, I erase the diagram and stand back up. 

As I watch this fantasy superman push the wall down and expose that brilliantly deep blue sky I saw in my dreams, my heart clenches. There is something Izark hasn't told me about his world yet. He probably won't tell me, by the look on his face just before. As I blink in the overly bright sunlight I let my eyes tear from the brightness of it.

Maybe the beautiful things I saw in my dream are here in this place...but already I can tell there are things equally ugly. Humanity doesn't change. There has to be conflict for a story to be interesting enough to read. There's even more conflict in real life, and the man I'm with carries a sword and knows how to use it expertly at only nineteen. This isn't going to be easy. 

I wipe my cheeks and hand him the torch. He puts it out the same way he lit it: staring at it and holding his hand in front of it. I just wait. I'll follow him as long as he lets me. It's all I can do. ...But it doesn't make it better for him to tell me just as we're stepping out onto the top of a mountain that it would have been better if I'd died, instead of shared his tomorrows.

"Noriko, [come]!" Izark's hand motions to me again.

I back up, shaking my head frantically. "I get it. We're on a mountain. We have to go down. I am not sliding along a cliff face on a four inch--," (it's more like eight at the narrowest, I'm sure, but still), "--ledge for two miles in switch-backs to get there."

Sure, I've been in mountains before: the family ski trip, the class hiking trip on easy trails because the school doesn't want to get sued for a student's injury or death. You know, that kind of thing. Nothing life threatening. This -- this is definitely life threatening. The widest places are two and a half feet and rare along the path down I can see. I shake my head again, my eyes wide. "Not doing it."

Izark scowls. Maybe he's a super elf who can dance on two inch ledges happily. Not me. I'm trembling, hands clutched in front of my heart to protect myself, already nearly petrified.

I happen to know what happens mathematically if you fall. The F(sub u) (force up) of the fall when you hit is equal and opposite to the F(sub d) (force down) which is equal to g (the acceleration of gravity on a body) times s (the number of seconds it takes to fall) times m (it's mass plus other things if you're not careful) times d (the distance it has to fall) ...or some God-awful number like that. The formula won't come, I'm so panicked.

I just know that at the distance we'll fall, the weight I am, and how long it will take to fall there, I'll be D.O.A. splat. I'm not particularly clumsy, but I'm not a gymnast light on my feet and used to walking the balance beam, either. That was my least favorite in gym during that unit. The horse was great: bounce, leap over, land. Nice and easy.

Izark is working hard to keep his voice at a normal level. I can tell he's frustrated enough to be yelling at me. I put my hands over my face. Bad idea. He's snatched me just below my wrist on my arm because I wasn't looking and is pulling me forward towards the narrow ledge. I pull back and dig in my heels, begging and violently shaking my head. He won't look at me, just pulls.

I can't fight it: super mouse fighting super man. I'm sobbing in terror by the time we reach the ledge. He does turn now, to make sure my feet are walking where they are supposed to, but he isn't letting go. I'm reluctantly dragged onto the ledge. Gasp. Each step is slow and trembling, leaning my shoulder against the cliff face next to me, desperately narrowing my focus to just the ledge before my feet, watching them shuffle forward.

Then the ledge narrows and I whimper. He pauses long enough for me to get turned to face the cliff face, but he has to tug on my hand to help my frozen body get started on the turn, and then again to get my feet to shuffle. I'd close my eyes, but that makes me even more afraid. I stare at our joined hands where they're held up to help balance the both of us, our free opposing hands also flat against the cliff face. Only his forward motion keeps me going. Everything else about me is frozen -- my heart, my thoughts -- everything.

And then it happens. I lose my balance. I don't know how or what happened. All I know is that there's nothing to grab. No handy handrails here. Izark already has my other hand. He finally feels my balance too far back and the look in his eyes is suddenly fear also, for just a brief moment. I can only give him a resigned fearful look back.

He tries to pull me back, but the ledge is just too narrow and it only spins me out more. Being frozen, I'm pretty much mute. No screaming from me. I do close my eyes, though. The beautiful forest below me -- and the jagged rocks under me -- don't need more than a passing glance. Death in my personal little world should be met peacefully with eyes closed. Of course, they closed on their own. I didn't do anything. There is no "I".

I'm more frustrated than I've been in a very long time. Noriko is plenty intelligent enough to understand that we must walk down the mountain, and we can only go by the path the mountain itself gives us. But she is even more in a panic than at the Sea of Trees. Frozen to the ground, pleading with me to change the mountain itself if she is going to go down. I can do great things, but fly with wings is not one of them, or I would snatch her up and do so. She must come down the mountain path with me, even as small as it is.

I try to not yell, try to not let my anger get loose. It is a narrow path in many places. I'm just not pleased her mind has calculated that it's an impossible path for her and refuses to learn otherwise. I close my eyes and try to think of alternatives.

She's intelligent. There isn't much food up here, but she could probably figure out how to live on her own. There aren't any enemies or monsters here, and it isn't likely at all that anyone would come here to find her. If she didn't survive, I wouldn't have to worry about becoming the Sky Demon, either. I initially thought we could both stay here it's so far from anyone's reach, but then I remembered the first lecture. That wouldn't be good.

Noriko refuses one more call, and I'm too angry. She covers her face with her hands, unwilling to look at what lies before us any longer. I turn away to leave her in this place and I'm hit with a sudden flash of fear, a panic from outside myself. Like I can't kill Noriko, I can't leave her behind.

I'm so full of emotions I can't tell which one is driving that fear, or if it's any of them. If it really is from without myself, I'm too afraid to face what it is that would make it so I can't leave her behind. I have to be able to leave her behind if I don't want to become what she's supposed to make me into.

As I try to stare that inability in the face, I can't even do that and my own mind shuts off. The next thing I'm aware of, I'm helping Noriko turn to face the cliff as we both have to turn to edge along the narrowing path sideways. I have no idea how we came to be on the ledge, but I'm holding her hand and we're moving forward.

I want to be afraid again. What am I doing? I've forced Noriko out onto the narrow ledge she's afraid of. I'm making her walk it because we have to get down off the mountain. But why have I made her come? I was going to leave her, wasn't I?

All of my questions make me afraid. I force myself to stop thinking. They're dangerous questions when we need to be careful on our way down. Even I need to focus on one foot after the other in places like this. I'm paying attention to that, now, looking where we're going.

That works fine for a little while, then there's something wrong. Did I do that? I wanted to know if Noriko was doing okay. Did I just instinctively make the wind come towards me from her?

I turn to look at her and the look on her face that's farther back from the cliff face than it should be is calm -- terrified, but calm -- and resigned. I try to pull her back, try to get the wind to push her back towards proper balance, and she's only turned farther out. Don't let go. Whatever you do, don't let go. It's like the wind is whispering it to me, the same wind that betrayed our careful walk along the cliff face. 

As Noriko begins to fall, I look to see what's below us. Jagged peaks rise up below us some distance down. Farther down, much farther down, are the tops of trees that make up woods that span out from the cliff face. What's below them is unknowable.

I can only take one deep breath myself, then do my best. If we're both destined to die here, then so be it. That would be better than the alternative. That assumes I'll die, of course. I might just be in a lot of pain for a long time. I'm trying to not believe I've done it subconsciously to kill her.

I hear a sigh in my ear as an arm wraps around me and with a wrench we are uprighted and then jarring as Izark skis down the cliff face on his lightly booted heels. That's got to hurt, the random thought floats to the surface. Then suddenly he is leaping one of his strong leaps and we are flying again. Where's the wings, flyboy? We still have to land, you know.

I never knew how Superman could land without putting a two mile crater into the earth either, not once I understood the math. His body might have survived, but the dirt he landed on wouldn't have. The forces had to go somewhere. I'm pretty sure Izark chose to leap over the rocks that were directly below us. I suppose impaling is pretty permanent. Trees don't make a softer landing, though.

One thing at a time. I pull her close to me as I'm also now falling. I hold her close to me again and with a turn get us uprighted instead of upside down. The cliff face is sloped just enough that my feet land on the face. I put an energy shield under my feet and skid down on that. I can feel the rock tearing at me, regardless. We're moving too fast.

The jagged rocks are next. I calculate for timing and speed, then push off the cliff face as hard as I can. We're once again sailing out over the land in the air. I'm grateful we got enough clearance to pass over the rocks. Being impaled alive forever isn't my idea of an alternative to becoming the Sky Demon. I'd likely destroy the mountain to get rid of that painful boredom. I breathe deeply, preparing myself for the next thing.

We're twisting in the air. I mean, it's like he really can fly without wings. I can't conceive of how he can do graceful maneuvers in mid air, and while holding a passenger even. For a brief moment, I enjoy it: the sensation of flying in his arms. Then we hit the tops of the first trees and I want to scream, but my mouth won't open to let it out.

I turn us again, so that my back is towards the ground. Our speed is still too fast. If I land on top of Noriko, I'll kill her. If she lands on me, perhaps she'll survive. Plus, it's my energy that will protect us from the trees. I have that shield up before we hit the first trees.

crack! snap. All the fast sounds of branches being broken left and right, but mostly underneath us. My heart clenches even more as my mind imagines a large branch getting to the ground first and impaling us anyway. Finally we land.

crack! snap! The branches break below us faster than I can hear almost. I close my eyes. I have no idea what's below us and can't turn to look. I can only focus on my shield, and extend it as far as I can so that it can slow our final descent. 

I feel it begin to collapse and take in one more deep breath and hold it. As I expected, Noriko still lands rather heavily on me and expels the breath from my lungs rather forcefully. I hold still long enough for my bruised ribs to heal. The shield below us was sufficient, and the thing we're lying on is soft, and large enough to cradle my length. We're fortunate. I really can't fathom why I'm doing this, why these things keep happening to me since I came hunting the Awakening. Am I cursed just for thinking I could escape my destiny?

I'm shivering. I'm breathing. I'm in shock. I breathe deeper. ...Time passes.

Sound reaches my ears, and motion registers, barely. I think I hear my name, then I'm being pushed against, lifted up by the shoulders. At first I can't see, although my eyes are open. My name is spoken again and suddenly the world rushes into my senses and I gasp a large breath of air, as if coming to the surface of a pool. No way in hell I'm alive. I shake my head and it moves. A large shiver, like a dog shaking, overtakes me. From it I learn nothing is broken. Perhaps a little bruised and misused, but not broken. No way.

Underneath me, Izark is trying to be patient...again. His hands are still pushing on me, trying to see if I'm okay, trying to get me off him. His eyes are open, blue-green looking at me. No way.

Noriko isn't moving, and her breath is shallow. I can't tell if she's okay from this position or not. "Noriko. Noriko." I call her urgently, trying to get her to wake up. She doesn't move, so I push on her shoulders to lift her. Her eyes snap open and then she's gasping in a rush of air. She shakes her head, then a great shiver takes over her as if her spirit is just re-entering her body. She seems relieved she's okay, then her eyes go wide.

I gasp and move off him, but when he tries to move, I shove him back down. "Don't move! If anything's broken, and you move, you'll make it worse!" I hit my arm -- "Ow. Do you understand -- ‘ow'?" He moves to nod and I grab his head between my hands. "NO!" I say in panic. "If your neck is broken you'll never move again. Don't move. Just say it," I point to my mouth, "Yes," I say it clearly, "or no." I touch his head again. "Ow?" 

He goes to nod again and I scowl. "No," he says obediently, though with a cute accent. 

I touch his neck behind his head. "Ow?" 

He takes a breath, "No." I work my way down each collar bone, then rib on each side, then the organs, pressing lightly, but enough to feel if there is anything broken or feels out of normal, asking each time and getting the same answer. I move to his hip and leg closest to me and he sits up, now that I'm not where I can keep him down. He grabs my arm and holds me still. "Noriko. No ow." I stare at him, not comprehending. Of course there's "ow".

"Izark," I protest, "you can't fall twenty stories, through trees and not be dead. There has to be ‘ow'. You -- should -- be -- dead. ...I should be dead." I thump my hand on my chest. "Falling from that height only ends in death, Izark."

When her position gets through to her brain, she's gasping and moving off of me to kneel next to me. I'm relieved she's finally awake again and move to push up and see where we are. She's suddenly pushing me back down. I'm not sure how to take that. She's talking very fast again, and is desperate, whatever she's saying. In all of that she has to teach me one more new word. "[Ow.]" Then she carefully walks down my body from neck down. Every bone and organ, asking if anything at all hurts, checking with her own hands.

To keep her calm just enough, I'm obedient, but the farther down she moves, the more uncomfortable I get, and the more irritated. As soon as she lets go of my torso and moves to my hip, I'm sitting up and holding her hands still. "Noriko, no [ow]. I'm fine. I can't die, and that kind of pain is healed quickly." I try to say it calmly to comfort her worry

It doesn't work this time. She whines my name, then rather dramatically disagrees with me. I sigh at her. I get that it was too far for anyone to fall down and live. It's because of what I am that we survived at all, but I can't explain that to her with our limited understanding of each other, and I don't want to besides.

The image of the stick in the ground comes back unbidden and without realizing it, I'm looking over his shoulder, both for sticks below him and for sticks in his back. To my uncomprehending eyes, not only are there at best splinters under him, his back is completely unmarked. No tears, no rips, nothing to say he fell through a forest of tree branches that I know I heard breaking under him. I reach a hand around and rub it over his back. The fabric is smooth, even to my touch.

"I--zar--k," I whine it as I sit back on my knees and look at him, the disbelief written all over my face -- I can feel it. "Why? Why aren't you dead? Why aren't I dead?" My voice starts to increase in volume with my complete inability to match the reality I know in my head with the reality staring at me in the face.

"With the gravitational forces, even if they are less here than on Earth, and the weight of both of us together, at that distance, we should be splat," my hands make a flattening motion, but I'm not looking at them. "It isn't right, Izark. How can we not be dead?!" I drop my hands into my lap, clenching them. They're shaking again.

Noriko is suddenly kneeling up, far too close to me, and leaning over my shoulder to look at my back. She runs her hand over my jacket and her breath catches again and she holds it this time. ...Until she's sitting on her knees again, her hands clenched and trembling in her lap. This time she really whines my name and the words pour forth again. The complete disbelief comes out in her voice and expression. It finally irritates me beyond my capacity to hold it in. If she can't believe what's in front of her eyes, what can I do?

Izark goes from open-mouthed to irritated. The simple expression makes something in me click and the water fountain turns on. Tears are suddenly dripping down my cheeks. "Izark," I say brokenly. "I don't want Izark dead. I just don't understand it." I'm not sure what words are pouring out of my mouth now as my eyes pour salt water.

Suddenly she isn't disbelieving. She's crying. Her voice now is apologetic and also lost, but the words are lost to her tears and I'm wishing only for quiet again. Once again she's too far gone to calm herself. I purse my lips, not really wanting to do this either, and pull her head to listen to my heart again. We really are alive and she needs to calm down.

I'm wondering if I should have let her fall, but that thought doesn't go very far before being squashed by the calm brought by the wind before, as she was falling. I don't want to have something outside myself influencing my emotions like that, but I can't do anything but accept it. We're both too distraught at this moment in time. Calm from anywhere is welcome.

I'm not sure if it's pity or self defense, but Izark finally pulls my head to his chest and holds me so I can hear his heart, feel his warmth -- again. When my mouth stops he says, "Noriko, no ow." [I'm alive. I'm okay. ...It's okay.] I don't understand the words, just the meaning and the gentle tone. He holds me until my sobs subside. I've clutched at his jacket front, but I'm afraid to hold him, afraid he really is hurt and it would only hurt him more if I did.

When Noriko can finally be calm again enough for her talking to stop, I tell her one more time, "Noriko, no [ow]. We're alive, and we really are okay. Trust me." Her sobs begin to calm. Her hand is clenched in my jacket again as if to let me go is to let go of reality and living. My jacket front is quite soaked by this time, it being the third time today to soak up her tears. I think her other special power is the power to cry rivers of tears.

I finally set my rational mind aside for now. My normal, my reality, isn't his. I don't understand it, but I can't continue to walk forward if it has to match right now. 

I sit up and wipe my face and nose on the voluminous sleeve of his shirt, making a mess of it, like I already did on his jacket front where it's soaked up multiple rounds of tears already. Embarrassing. I can't quite look at his face, but I try, looking up through my eyelashes, my hands in my lap again. "I'm sorry, Izark. ...Sheshe."

The guy has the patience of a saint. He puts his hand on my head. "[You're welcome.]" He sighs and slips off the surface we landed on. I look at it. It's another bed of moss: green this time. No way it was sufficient on it's own to cushion our fall. I put that thought on the shelf, too.

Once again, she apologizes and thanks me for not killing her -- I mean for having patience with her tears. I put my hand on her head and tell her, "You're welcome," one more time. I can't help the outward sigh this time as I move to leave this moss-covered rock we landed on. I'm glad it was thick moss.

I'm pretty sure she won't be able to walk forward on her own after that similar outburst to before. I hold out my hand and call to her. She takes my hand and comes down from the rock. She holds on to my hand tightly for a moment, then lets go. She's not okay, but it's better this time, that she can walk the next step without help. Perhaps she's growing a little bit stronger herself, now. I wonder if that's good or bad for me.

"Noriko," I turn to look at Izark. He's holding out his hand for me. I turn and give him my hand and he helps me slip off the tall moss-covered rock. For a brief moment, I clutch his hand tightly, then reluctantly let go. I'm not okay, but I'll keep walking forward. There's nowhere else to go.

Chapter Text

When my focus isn't on Noriko any longer, my eyes scan as always to see what dangers may be here, what this forest holds that my senses may not catch. My eyes are immediately drawn to something that doesn't belong. There's a wagon wheel here, and not old or weathered. Used, yes.

I wonder where it came from and the wind teases me with the scent of blood. Not much blood, but enough to say something or someone is wounded. Blood is tangy, like it tastes, but in large quantities it's more than that. This is just the faint tang of wounding.

I follow the tang and the path of the wheel as it careened. A wisp of wind comes from behind me to reassure me Noriko is following me before I can even think the worry. It isn't too far to a clearing. A path through the woods enters it and leaves it, not well traveled.

On the opposite side from us is a tumbled wagon, with the horse still on the tongue. That's not good. It's already fought and become too tired and given up. Otherwise, it doesn't seem to be very wounded. It's the man who was thrown from the wagon when the wheel came off that is bleeding from wounds on his leg, one looking rather severe. 

In my travels, both with the caravans and then as a wandering swordsman, I've of necessity learned how to take care of injuries. I don't have what I need. A month is too long for the herbs to keep their efficacy. I can find them in these woods, though.

First I need to know if he needs anything else. I put my hand to his throat. "Still breathing. Not much blood." Talking to myself is second nature now. It only happens out loud when I'm alone, and I suppose talking out loud will only help Noriko learn it herself. Perhaps I'm actually talking to her, although that's hard for me to believe when I realize I've been talking out loud at all. 

I rise to my feet again, looking for Noriko. She's still at the entrance to the clearing. I tell her I'm going to go looking for herbs, but somehow she wasn't paying attention and she asks to hear it again. I point instead. Words aren't working at the moment for either one of us. We're both tiring.

She rolls the wagon wheel to rest it against the wagon, then walks to me, her brow furrowed. I decide I must be more tired than her, since bringing the wagon wheel with her is as thoughtful an action as her preparing the beginnings of the raft was in the caves. I completely didn't even think to bring it with us.

I really should have. I'm in a hurry and once again she's helped us in a small way to meet that worry. I don't know how long this man has been here, or how he came to be this way, but it usually means bandits the way this reads to me.

With signs, Noriko asks me for water. I hand her the bag and tell her it's in there and head into the forest. The wind has brought me the scent of one of the herbs I need and it's rather distant. I don't want to be gone that long.

Izark isn't even paying attention to me already. Instead his eyes, then his hand are on a lone wheel laying up against the moss we just left. He turns away, leaving it -- and me -- there. My kind-hearted super-fairy-knight looks like he's headed to rescue another person in need. I look at the wheel, then pull it upright and roll it along the path after him. It still looks in good shape. No need to leave it here and have to come back for it.

I pause at the entrance to a small clearing in the woods and stare at the only other person I've seen since coming. It's another man ...with long curly hair this time. I could get along okay if all the men have long hair. I like curly, too. This one's injured, though -- the leg pretty badly -- and Izark is checking to see if he's still living, talking to himself as if he normally does when he's alone. I get that.

I wait until he stands back up. He actually looks around for me. I'm a bit surprised he wasn't lost in his thoughts and moving on to the next task in his head. My brother's like that. I freeze, then realize I've missed what Izark said. "Izark?" I shake my head and point to my ear. "Can you say it again?" I point to him and pantomime...oh. He's going to think I'm deaf. That won't do.

I shift and sigh, looking at the man and then back at him. Izark points to himself, then the woods. Then he points to me and points to the ground next to the man. Ah. Got it. I hold up a finger, then roll the wheel to the overturned wagon, leaning it against it for later. Ah, I should have asked at the river.... My brow furrows as I try to think of how to ask. He shifts impatiently. I pantomime drinking, then the flow of the river. He takes off his knapsack, points to it, then walks off.

Sigh. Right. I wasn't done. I move next to the man, then feel to see if he has a knife on his belt like Izark does, underneath his waist in the back. He does. Good. I carefully pull it out of the sheath, then pierce the point into the pant leg above his wounds. Carefully I cut all the way around the leg, trying to not pull too hard on the wounds where the fabric has become stuck in the forming scabs. I'm glad he's unconscious. I'm working a little too close to places a girl shouldn't be putting her hands.

Cutting a little slice, I start the knife working down on the side of the leg below the wounds. I get to the big one and have to cut around it. I hope they have scissors in this world. There are some tasks you just can't do without them, and I'm wishing for them right now. He shifts and moans. I probably pulled too hard. I try to be more gentle until I get around the wound, then finish slicing down to the hem.

As I stop to rest for a minute, he groans again and I can tell he's actually waking up this time. "Izark! He's waking up!" I call. I smack myself in the head. I've gone and done it again. Told the woods where a tasty snack is. That doesn't happen at home. All the parks only have squirrels and pigeons in them. I growl at myself, then hurriedly get started on the pant leg fabric again. The first three wounds are small and not too full of threads. I open Izark's knapsack, only to hear a snap of stick and a low chuckle.

Looking up quickly, I see the worst sort of predator: another man, looking sinister and evil. I stand up taking the bag with me and back away, keeping the knife hidden from his view behind the bag. I don't have to fake the fear. It's always at the surface anyway in this place.

He's looking between me and the wounded man and talking. I don't like his voice at all. I glance at the wounded man and see his eyes are open. He's not looking too happy either. I wonder if the new guy caused the problems in the first place. He's got a ‘squirrel' on his shoulder. Ha. Land pirate?

He walks up to the wounded man, still talking nasty, when suddenly he's kicking the wounded man, hard, in the ribs. I hope I didn't just hear a rib crack under the gasp of breath. "Don't!" I shout. "He's wounded!" I'm trying to be heard by Izark. I know he'll recognize the panic in my voice. The evil dude looks up at me and growls and takes a step closer to me. I back off a step.

He grins that predator's grin that says good girl, stay afraid and quiet and I'll take you out last...after I've had my way with you. I can't decide if that makes me more afraid or so angry I want to spit in his face. He turns away so I get time to think about it.

Ah, but that's no good! "IZARK! He's got a sword! Hurry! Help!" That sword is pointed at the wounded man's midsection, and the glee in the evil man's face is worse because I'm pretty sure this is all real, certainly from the wounded man's perspective. He's looking panicked also.

tap-tap-tap. I know it's Izark because only he can run that fast, as far as I know. Suddenly he's in the clearing, moving faster that I can trace with my eyes, and at a long stride. He slams into the evil man's side, lifting him up and carrying him twenty yards. (I see the football yard lines go by under him.) ...Except that, suddenly the man isn't in front of him on his shoulder any more, and Izark is landing with a skid, a look of utter surprise on his face.

There's motion in my peripheral vision and I turn to look back the way Izark entered the clearing from and the man is there. What? My mind can't keep up with my vision any more -- again -- and gives up for now. I just watch passively.

I've found that herb and harvested its berries when the wind from the clearing lets me know that Noriko said something. I sigh. I'd better find the last herb quickly, but I scented it on the way here. I get to it quickly. I barely have time to snatch it up before I hear her calling for me. The smell of a new stranger has come to me as well. I put on speed. Noriko's panic in her next call has me moving faster.

The blade in the hand of the new man, hovering over the wounded man, was the new scent of metal I'd smelled. Already moving fast, it's better to use my body than anything else at this time. I slam into the bandit's side and carry him along. I'm confused when he suddenly isn't there and I skid to a halt and look around, trying to find where he went.

Between Noriko and the wounded man, but on the far side of the clearing where I entered it the man with the sword reappears. He has an animal on his shoulder. I'm trying to remember where I've seen it before. They're rare, is all I can remember at first. 

"You. You have a sword! Traveling warrior, eh?" he taunts me once he states the obvious. I ignore that part. Men like him aren't worth listening to. Only watching to see they don't do damage.

The wounded man is now also awake, and he reaches out for me. "H-help me. That guy is the head of a band of robbers. I ran into them last evening. They'd been robbing travelers. I got away but the wheel of my carriage came off." That's about what I expected. I'll protect him, but mostly because I need to protect Noriko, and because I might be able to be paid, which I also need.

"Ha ha haa," the robber chief laughs, sure of himself in this backwater place he's won for himself. "What are you going to do, help him? You'd rather die here?"

I'm not eager to fight the man. He'll die in the end. "Not my lucky day. Why do I keep running into trouble?" I say as I draw my sword.  To appear too eager to step in and I'll get less coin for my efforts. It's not like I want the bandit chief to remember me, either, if he should happen to get away.

"Ho ho ho! So you want to fight, eh?" No, I think I just obviously stated I didn't. His sword comes up bravely. "Even if you don't want to I'll kill you anyway because you made the mistake of striking me." The weak and cowardly always need words to work themselves up into the ability to fight with false strength. He comes at me sword raised, "You're gonna die, pal!"

With one defensive blow it's simple to knock the sword from his hands. It flies from his grasp, but he's disappeared again, reappearing next to his sword to pull it from the ground, my return blow held before it went through only the air. Again he must use brave words to recover. "You're not bad, eh? But no one ever bests me in sword fighting. They can't tell where I'm going to appear, freak out, lose their concentration, then die."

He disappears and the wind tells me he's reappearing behind me with an overhand strike. That was very predictable and my sword is already in place to deflect his blow before he strikes. I defend myself a few more times, using the wind to tell me where he's going to strike, and always it's predictable. I focus, preparing for the next blow and strike preemptively. I strike flesh and he's disappearing again.

He reappears in front of me to wobble and lose his sword again. He presses his hand to his wound at his side. "I don't believe it," he cries to himself. "How could anyone stab me?" He whines the same as those who must talk themselves up to fight. To pick up a sword is to be cut by one. They never seem to quite understand that when it finally happens to them.

I give chase and he leaves the sword behind to save himself. I'd like to get rid of him, but there's Noriko to think of and the wounded merchant. He can move just a little farther than I can catch up to unless I spend more energy than I want to. I've already spent a lot of energy in this one day. He does yell that he will have his revenge. I can ignore that also, at least for now. He'll need to recover first, and be bandaged. We won't want to dally, though.

Noriko passes me for the wounded man, saying words that approve of the result of the confrontation. I'm a little surprised she's not freaking out about my wounding another man, but she's focused, I see. She's already cut most of the pant leg off from around the wounds and has my water thermos in her hand. I wonder where she got the knife and wonder if I left a little too soon, but I'd needed mine for the herb harvesting. It's likely the merchant's knife.

Words pass between the three men. I make up a translation of their dialogue. [Help me and I'll pay you 200 gold.]

[Ha! Like he's going to help a stranger.] Of course he will. He helped me. [Oh, ho. You're going to use that toy on me then? Let's see what you can do.]

Kill you. You're a lot smaller than a spike worm. I know what RPGs are. You lose. What?! The man just disappeared from his spot. I hear a clang and whip my head around to Izark. Nothing's there, but the sound came from there. I watch Izark closely. A person starts to fade into sight and Izark swings. clang! The swords meet and the squirrel pirate disappears again. Again and again it happens until Izark gets a look of utter concentration, then swings early.

"Gah!" The land pirate ...oh, bandit's the word, right... appears in the middle of the clearing again, stumbling and losing his sword. His hand is on his side and he's bleeding rather profusely from a wound in his side. Izark's moving already, but the bandit disappears again and reappears another twenty or so feet off. Izark keeps going and so does the teleporting evil dude.

Izark stops at the edge of the clearing but keeps watching the man, who is yelling, [I'll get you yet Toto, and your pretty girl, too!], or something similar as he teleports by twenty feet at a time away from this location. We probably don't have much time. Where there's one bad guy, there's a nest of them.

I rush back to the wounded man. "Sheshe, Izark!" I call and drop to my knees. "That was awesome." I'm trying to not think of his sword being used against a man and causing him actual injury. I know the alternative was worse.

I dig in the bag again and pull out the equivalent of a thermos. Yanking it out, I open it. The man on the ground says, "Koko!"

"Yup," I say, "You can't have any yet." I pour some on the first wound until it softens enough the threads loosen up and I can pull them out. He winces.

I keep going until all the little wounds are free. Then I hand him the thermos. Izark leans down and hands the man a handful of...I glance at them...small berries. Great! Asprin. That's a good sign.

I find a flat rock suitable to make the needed poultice. By then Noriko is done with putting the water on the smaller wounds so she can free the ruined cloth from them. She hands the water to the merchant and I hand him the berries. "Take these with the water. They'll lower your fever," I tell him. "I'll make a poultice for the wounds." He complains to me that the bandit kicked him in the ribs and he may have broken one. I tell him to pull up his shirt so I can see. 

I glance at Noriko's hands. She's carefully cutting the cloth from around the rest of the major wound on the leg. I begin to pound the herbs with the pommel of my knife, not having anything better to use. It was hard to find just the one rock in this woods. rriiip ... rii-ip ... rii-ip. I glance over. Noriko has slit what cloth she's taken from the ruined pant leg and torn it into strips.

I approve. It's far better to use what you have than waste what wasn't necessary to waste. It's another sign she might be frugal, which is much better than the flighty nobles who spend without thought. I realize I forgot to ask her status in her home world, but perhaps that doesn't much matter now that she's here. Here, if she stays with me, she'll be poor unless I luck into good work.

I pick up the knife again and start cutting the fabric from around the top of the largest wound. When I finally get it free, I sit back on my knees. One slit -- rriiip. A second slit -- rii-ip. A third slit -- rii-ip. I look at what's left of the pant leg and shake my head. The rest won't make a bandage. I could use it to clean the wound, though, maybe. I lay the three long strips down on my lap to keep them clean and look around.

Izark is using the pommel of his knife to pound a set of plants on a rock: poultice. Okay. But..., I bite my lip, then carefully lay the bandages on the man's belly. He looks at what I'm doing and starts talking. I hold up a finger, then point at the bandages, point at his hand, then shake my head no, while looking sternly at him. Don't touch. He stops and looks at me in surprise, then starts talking a blue streak.

I ignore him, walk to the other side of him, and put a slit in his other pant leg. He exclaims in surprised anger. I glance at him with a dark look and point at the other pant leg, giving him the, you're gonna wear this again? look. He looks and shuts up, choosing to watch instead.

The wounded man protests about the time I'm ready to tend to his ribs and I look again just in time to see Noriko giving him her stern scolding look that says, You're really going to wear these pants again? When that leg looks like that? I laugh silently, hiding it from both of them. It's funny to see someone else getting that kind of scold when it's so obvious, even to him once she's asked it. The untorn pant leg is also cut off and torn into strips.

I finish cutting around the pant leg, then find the inseam and carefully cut through the sewing threads. Sewn by hand. Oh, yes, and we use magical sewing machines powered by brownies --- tiny elves. Not. Well, at least I'll find the tools to keep my hands busy then, when I want to pick up my hobby again.

The trapezoid of a pant leg piece is in my hand now. I move back to the wounded leg. One more narrow strip. Measure for the wider strip and tear that one. What's left is enough to fold as the bandage itself for the large wound. Izark's moved up to work on the man's side where he got kicked. He was thoughtful (of course) and put the poultice between us. He hands me the three strips of cloth I already cut. "Sheshe," I say shortly, taking them.

"[Welcome.]" Izark's just as short, as focused as I am.

I fold one end of the first small strip a few times, then cut it off. The folded piece gets dipped in the poultice, then placed on the first wound. The rest of the strip I place over it and tie around the leg. The other small wounds get the same treatment.

I do have bandages in my bag, and there isn't enough cloth in his pant leg to tie the poulticed bandage around the merchant's middle, so I pull it out and wrap it around him. He's asking me about Noriko and I tell him what I told her to say. It's the only lie I could think of that would work. 

As we left the caves, she stopped me and wrote in the dirt one more time, using her limited words. "Thank you, Izark. Thank you [for saving me today]. Thank you [for my life, and for tomorrow]." It was hard to return her gratitude at the last and I couldn't look at her, had to turn my back to her. She doesn't want to walk with me in my tomorrows. Later, I told her in pictures that she should never tell anyone about that day -- how she came here, how we met -- none of it. She should only say what I say to the merchant now.

"She's from a distant island, and doesn't know the language. I chanced on her in my wandering. Her family had all died and she was nearly dead herself, her clothing torn to shreds. I couldn't leave her in that state."

The merchant narrows his eyes at me. "Sounds fishy to me. I heard a slave trader say that some island girls he'd kidnapped had escaped. That was in the western city of Ginococo."

I give him a give it up look. "She lost her family. I don't know anything about a slaver. She's far too weak to escape from one of those. ...Unless that man was very stupid." I don't like slavers. His assumption has made me angry, even if it is another acceptable one to explain her presence by my side.

Noriko calls to me. I'm done wrapping his side so I turn to look. She's placed poulticed bandaging on the smaller wounds, wrapping cloth around his leg and tying the ends with a strange knot, rather than tucking in the ends in the manner we do here. I look at that, curious, but leave it. An island girl might have a different way to tie things, given they understand ships.

Noriko points to each of the wounds, starting with the small ones and ending with the large unpoulticed one. "Noriko [yes, yes, yes, yes], Noriko [no]."

I nod and move to take her place. She hands me the large bandage she has prepared but I hold up a hand to stall her and ask the merchant for the water bottle. There's just enough in it to soak the cloth she left in the wound. Another intelligent act. She understands basic wound dressing, but perhaps isn't sure in this place for the deeper wounds that might be more trouble. I pour water on the cloth to saturate it. It will need to come out later and wet will make that happen better than dried. 

I ask for the dressing and she hands it to me. I put the last of the poultice on it and hold it in place. I hold out my hand again and she hands me the cloth to wrap around the bandaging. I tie it on, tucking the ends in. So far the bandit hasn't sent any more men to find us, but we need to be moving.

Izark is already wrapping bandaging around the man's torso. They've been talking a bit, but I've only been letting the sounds wash over me. I wait until Izark has tied his wrapping off. "Izark," I get his attention. He turns to me and looks at my handiwork. The knots seem to confuse him a little. I noticed he tucked his ends in. I can't ever get that to work. It always slips out. I point to the little ones, one by one. "Noriko yes, yes, yes, yes." I point to the big one. "Noriko no."

Izark nods and I get out of his way, handing him the folded cloth that needs the poultice on it. He shakes his head and holds up a hand. Wait. I nod as he grabs up the water bottle. There isn't likely much water left in it at this point. He kneels down and pours the water on the wound until he's happy. He leaves the fabric there. I would have, too, but this one is bad enough I don't want to mess with it. I only have the basic first aid experience all teenage girls who earn money babysitting learn.

He asks for the pad. I hand it over and he puts the rest of the poultice on it and places it on the wound. His hand is out again and I hand him the cloth for tying. I'd doubled it so it's thicker. He seems satisfied with that. I watch him closely as he tucks the ends in. Nope. That will take me a long time to learn. I can't even do towels that way. They drop to the floor as soon as I let go. He examines my tied knot a little closer, but leaves it.

Once again Noriko has been helpful in both accomplishing the work that needs to be done without being asked, and in seeing we move along expeditiously. I like having someone with me who can be a partner in those kinds of things. Many people I protect are merely heavy flesh to drag behind me. "Thank you, Noriko."

"[You're welcome,]" she answers in her own language. 

I stop and stare at her a little. I'm surprised she did. She's heard it enough from my own lips to know it by know. I say it slower to make sure she's heard all of the syllables correctly, "You're wel-come."

Noriko shakes her head firmly and uses her own words to declare she can't say it, and says it again in her own language. I raise my eyebrow at her, but leave it be. Perhaps there are some sounds that she never learned to say properly. And maybe she needs more courage to try those. I've learned her way of saying it now, so we'll properly communicate at least that much. I suppose that's a good place to start -- with kind gratitude.

Noriko asks about the water thermos. I shake my head at her. I didn't find an easy water source, it's all gone, and will have to stay that way for now. We need to go. She puts it in my bag.

"I'll get your horse up and your wagon fixed, then we should be on the road," I say to the merchant, rising to my feet again. Noriko watches me as I move over to check on the horse. I wake it up and promise that it will be freed of the wagon once we reach safety. It's glad to have someone who can reassure it, and it likes the promise enough to help me get it and the wagon righted.

Turning to me, Izark stands and looks down at me. "Sheshe."

"You're welcome," I say.

He blinks. He knows I've heard him say it plenty of times now. He says it again, slowly, "[You-are-wel-come.]"

I shake my head and blush. He tips his head, looking at me curiously. I point to my tongue and shake my head again. Those four syllables of that one word will take a long time to roll off my tongue. Of all the sounds, they put all the ones I can't do into that one phrase. "Sigh. You're welcome." I say again. Then, "Tomorrow?" He tries to remember what that meant.

I don't want him to remember that conversation so I pick up the water bottle. It's empty. "Koko?" He looks at me, then shakes his head and walks over to the wagon. I agree, we probably don't have time to go hunting a stream. It was more a question of if he'd found one close by while hunting the herbs. I stuff it back in his rucksack.

The creature I'd rather missed until now, the equivalent of a horse, is where he moves to actually. It's still hitched to the wagon, poor thing. Izark talks to it quietly, petting it, then he moves to the wagon and the tongue holding the horse to it and gets them all righted -- all at once. I figure he could have lifted them with one hand, but it looked like he was trying to hide his super strength from the man we just helped. As Izark heads to put the wheel back on it's axle, I turn to said man. I put my hand on my chest. "Noriko." Then I point to him. "And you?"

He gives me his name and I nod, greeting him properly. "Sheshe, Noriko," he says.

"You're welcome. Sorry about the pants." I hand him his knife and he puts it away. I hope it distracted him long enough to not notice that Izark just slammed the wheel back on in one blow. It would have taken the wheelwright or wagon maker more than ten blows with his heavy hammer, I'm pretty sure.

Noriko has talked to the merchant while I've done that. As I put the wagon wheel back on the wagon, she hands the knife in her hands back to the merchant and he puts it away. I return to pick up the merchant who shouldn't be walking on his leg just yet. As I head for the back of the wagon, Noriko jumps up into it, having to scramble a bit because she's short. She helps me get the merchant into the wagon, but I didn't need that help. I look at her, confused as to why she would have helped with that.

She looks at me with an exasperated look and that makes it worse. What have I done? She hops out of the wagon and drags me far enough away from the man we can talk privately. She bends down and draws, once again simple shapes and simple words until we have an understanding. Yes, I do want to hide my extra strength from him and any man. But, I didn't use that, did I?

Izark comes back and picks up the man like he picks me up --- a mere stick in weight. At least pretend he's a heavy human male! I want to hiss at him. He's the one that didn't want the man to see, after all.

I leap up into the wagon and pretend to help him get the man over the edge of the wagon and settled. Izark looks at me surprised and I glare at him. He looks confused, and a little hurt. I sigh in impatience, jump back out, and drag him to a part of the clearing where I can get to dirt and talk to him quietly without being heard.

She begs to differ. She pantomimes that the man is heavy, then points to me, pretends to pick up the man lightly and even tosses him into the air as if he would weigh nothing. I drop into a crouch and cover my hidden face with a hand. It's very hard to keep the laughter silent this time. That looked so funny. I wouldn't have thought it was such a large difference. The logs to make the raft were much heavier.

"Izark," I say, and pull him into a crouch with me. "You," a hand on his chest, "are super strong." I make a strong-arm and grip his bicep, then wait. He nods once. "Him," I point to the wagon etc., then point to Izark, then put my hands over my eyes, blinding myself, then point at the man again, but ask it as a question. It didn't work. I draw it as a sentence.

A man for Izark -- I add the long hair and bandanna. The arm for strength. Another man with curly long hair, but looking away from Izark. I point to "Izark", "wounded man", cover my eyes, point to strength. He looks like he might understand but he asks to make sure: himself, the wounded man, covers the strength sign with his hand. I nod. He nods back.

I scowl at him, point to "wounded man", then pantomime "heavy". I point to Izark, then air-pickup something easily and lightly in both arms, and even throw it into the air. He puts his hand to his head, looking down. I suddenly realize he's laughing, silently.

I draw the wagon and point to the picture of the man and pantomime that Noriko helped me to make it not so obvious. When she's learned the words for "helped", "hide", and "strength", she uses them in a correct sentence, although slightly odd in word order, to say that, yes, she was helping me hide. I smile at her and thank her. Even in this she's been thinking of me.

That makes me both uncomfortable and pleased again. Uncomfortable because I don't trust her motives as to why she would help me hide. Pleased because I don't have others doing kind things for me often. It's hard to not want that sort of thoughtfulness directed my way.

I set them aside yet again. There's still a lot of learning and observing I'll be doing to understand the Awakening named Noriko. For now, she is a kind, thoughtful girl with great intelligence, and a lot of fear is buried underneath it all. We are still similar.

When he recovers, he draws a picture of the wagon, then a woman in it. "Noriko [words]?" he pantomimes lifting and helping the body into the wagon, and points to the picture, then covers the symbol for "strength".

I tug on my ear, the sign for, "Say the word again."

Izark pantomimes the lifting, "[Helped]". I nod and repeat the word. He points to the arm. "[Strength]". He covers it. "[Hide]".

I say, "Noriko [helped] Izark [hide strength], yes."

Izark shakes his head and stands up, wiping the notes away with the toe of his boot. "Noriko, sheshe."

"You're welcome. Do it right next time," I scold as I trot back to the wagon with him to keep up with his long strides.

[Hey, Hey!] I'm filling in dialogue again, but this time I'm listening closer. [I've got something here you might like.] The man we helped is reaching into one of the many bags in his wagon. He's still talking a mile a minute, but my eyes are caught in delight. He's just pulled clothes out of the bags, and he's pulling even more.

Not only do I sew and do handwork as my hobby, I have a fascination with native clothing. This is just as beautiful as most of the things on Earth I get to see in books. I already know it's all by hand. This stuff is valuable. It took time to make.

I look at Izark. He's got a conniving look on his face -- a poker face. They dicker back and forth a bit, then Izark hands me a bundle, "Rewaf." "[Change.]" I nod and head off to a place they can't see. It's really a dress, with an over-dress, a cloth belt, and local shoes -- hmmm.

I finger the fabric of what I'm holding as I consider. Another world where women wear dresses only, huh? That's not going to fly if we're hiking all the time. I may wear the skirt to school, but not when I'm at home, and not out to play or work. The same with the local shoes. There's less material in them than in Izark's boots.

I put the dresses on, but leave his pajama pants on, and my own shoes. I tie the belt with my own knot, to make sure it stays, then head back out just enough to call Izark over. He's already changed, too, even his boots. Yeah, well skiing down a rock face would tear them up pretty badly.

He comes over and immediately shakes his head at my knot. I sigh despondently, take out the knot and let him get close and cuddly as he tries to show me how to tuck it in. I watch obediently. Then he looks at the rest of me and frowns. I hold up a finger and give him my lecture face. He backs up slightly, eyes going wide.

I point to the woods, "walk" my fingers, then point to my legs. "Pants, required." Point to dress. "Yes, okay." Point to pants again, "Yes." He sighs and nods, then looks at my feet. I walk my fingers again, then point to my shoes. I point to the wagon and hold up the other shoes and nod. I sling an air bag off my shoulder and "put" my shoes in it -- the ones on my feet. He's torn.

I sit down and take off my shoe. It's a bit ripe, but that's what I get for going this long without being able to air my feet out. I show him the thinness of the little shoe, then the thickness of my shoe. Then I take off the sock and show him the bottoms of my feet. They're already blistering, even in my own shoes. "Ah...," he says, eyebrows raised.

I show him my fist, making it tight. "Hard." I press on it. Then I open my fist and press on the webbing between the thumb and forefinger. "Soft." I point to my feet. "Soft."

Izark nods and holds his hand out. I take off the other shoe and sock, tucking the socks into the shoes. He takes them back to the wagon and adds them to his knapsack, while hiding them from the clothing merchant. He talks to the merchant a bit and comes back with pants that fit me better.

I finish changing then give Izark his clothes back, my shirt tucked inside, knowing it will all need to be washed. I wonder how and where.

I've put the soft shoes on. They make me tenderly walk as I go to the wagon to climb in. They are comfortable, but really not made for long distance walking. I feel hands around my waist. Izark is helping me up the last bit of getting into the wagon. I startle in surprise, but let him help. I like the warmth of his hands, and it lets me know I'm real and he's real. I'm still warm where he touched me after he moves away. I wiggle my toes in embarrassment, now wishing I'd sat up on the bench with him instead of getting in the back. Oh well, maybe next time.

The merchant spends the next several hours trying to teach me more words. I obediently repeat them back to him when required, but I'll never remember them. It's too much to cram in all at once. My ears get tired pretty quickly. Finally I lean on some of the sacks and say, "Sheshe," and put my finger to my mouth. He looks confused. I put my finger to my ear, then mime my brain dribbling out of it and cross my eyes, going slack.

He rubs his head in embarrassment. "[Oh, sorry.]" That's the word I've been wanting. I repeat it. He shakes his head and tries to repeat it more clearly. "[Sorry.]" I repeat that one. He nods, ruefully.

I call him by name. "[Sorry.] Sheshe. I can't any more." He nods.

It's probably past midnight tummy time and I've still only had trail mix. I start wondering how long a day is here, and if that means instead of being two years older, I might be three years younger. I'll have to re-do the math. I'm asleep three minutes later, curled up on his soft bags full of clothing.

The merchant was surprisingly a clothing merchant. As soon as we re-arrived at the wagon, he was pulling out clothing for both of us, having even seen my destroyed boots. That means he saw Noriko's odd shoes. I'm worried about that, but she scolded me again when I asked her to get rid of them.

The blisters on the bottoms of her feet and the obvious difference between our shoes (very thin) and hers (an odd material but thick enough to handle a lot of years of walking in) swayed me quickly. Or I've already been trained to give in to the Teacher without much fight. It's too easy to see her way.

She also fought me on wearing pants under the dresses, but I could see that practicality as well. It may change. She didn't wear pants under the dress she came here in, but her point was we would be walking through woods like this. She doesn't need insect bites nor scratches on her legs.

In the end it was an expensive purchase for both of us to have new clothing, but the merchant was willing to take my old sword in partial payment. I kept the sword the thief left behind because it was a nicer one. I also reminded him he owed me for saving his life. It leaves me with no coin in hand, but our needs of the moment met regardless.

As I drive the wagon I wonder how it was that a clothing merchant was right where we needed one. Noriko won't have to be seen in full public in my clothing, so she won't be marked very much as anything other than an island girl. At the same time, I'm wishing we hadn't found him. He won't stop talking and every fourth word is one he wants Noriko to repeat and learn. She's intelligent but how anyone can remember all those words at one time when she can't even follow the conversation to begin with is beyond my understanding.

I'm relieved when she finally tells him to shut up. She falls asleep soon after, exhausted, I'm sure. I'm also tired but driving the wagon is enough rest for now, now that it's quiet. When the merchant tries to drag me into conversation next, I pretend I can't hear him, then shush him and scold him into letting Noriko sleep properly. He's bored, but I can't care.

Calco, by wagon, is farther than I expected it would be from where we were. It would have been difficult for us to have stayed up on the mountain, especially with only that narrow passage to come down to this place when we needed essentials. I guess it's good we came down, even if the way it happened wasn't so good. Although...maybe falling was better (faster) in the long run.

I'd like to not repeat it, though. I can still feel Noriko warmly in my arms if I think about it. I've held her too many times already today and don't like how they now feel empty, even though she's behind me. A brief unexpected wish to have her sleeping next to me, leaning on my shoulder, or even her head in my lap, comes over me and I blush. Surely I don't need such a thing. I'm already worried enough that too much physical contact with her is going to make me turn into the Sky Demon, since I don't know how that's going to happen.

Still, to have her need my warmth and to be close has also changed me in a small way. I don't know if this change is good or not. I can't know yet, so I can only be worried. I've only tried to be kind and help her in the small ways she needs so she can continue to stand and walk forward into this life she has no knowledge of. If I can show her kindness, will she let me stay kind, too?

That thought brings me the old despair that's hard to fight, that says I should give up trying to fight at all. I hold the reins tighter in my hand and pretend that she's scolded me for having the thought. I think she would do that, if she knew, and was as unhappy about my fate -- our fate -- as I am. I give up thinking at all after a while, too tired to hold on to any emotion. I only hold on to the wind's message that tells me things are quiet and well enough in the back of the wagon and there are no thieves chasing after us.

Happy Holidays dear readers. Here is an early chapter as a holiday gift. May your lives be full of light, hope, and peace.

Chapter Text

The atmosphere around us has changed. I don't hear the wildlife sounds anymore. Instead, I hear the sounds I'm more used to: people being busy sounds. It pulls me up from sleeping and I sit up, rub my eyes, and look around. First, I see the sun is lower to the horizon. Crap, I've just screwed up my sleep cycle for this place. Except I'm still tired. I've probably only slept from midnight to two or three a.m. Gonna be one cranky ...ah, little kid.

We're just coming into a village. Our newest friend wants to be helpful and immediately starts in again. I do manage to catch "Calco", before Izark turns around and scowls him back into being quiet. Guess he got tired of the constant prattle, too.

I look at the architecture first. That will tell me, maybe, how far they've advanced. Definitely not sci-fi. No metal structures. All plaster and stone, typical Central Europe, maybe Spain? It's pretty simple blocky structures. I think I've seen them in desert scenes, too, like Middle East, maybe.

Not much exterior ornamentation, except flying buttresses above the street, likely to keep the two-story houses standing, propping each other up. Middle Ages. No real math and engineering, then. (That was one of the fields I was considering going into, looking for a college. Not likely to ever get there, now. Too bad they couldn't have waited to drag me here for another four years. Then I would have been really useful.)

The lower levels seem to be shops, the upper levels might be living quarters, then. People are closing up, calling to children, setting lit lanterns up in holders on the wall. It looks like each family is responsible to put out one lantern so the whole street is lit. Reminds me of the suburb neighborhoods where everyone leaves their exterior garage lights on to cut down on crime. So... day is safe enough to let children run. Night, not so much?

We've pulled up next to a "shop" and Izark is dismounting. There's a written sign over the door. I'd like to copy it down. I look at it very closely, trying to memorize the word. A villager has stopped to talk to Izark. Friendly neighbor, I guess. The wooden door opens and an older man, looking like my Grandpa, only a little taller, a little more heavy, comments, adding to their conversation. He carries himself with dignity and I like him instinctively.

He opens the door wider, invitingly, but Izark comes back to the wagon. I "help" him get the merchant out of the wagon, then hop down myself and follow him into the office. Before stepping in, I look one more time at the sign. Now I know it says, "Doctor".

The room isn't very big, and it isn't empty. There are two beds. Izark puts the merchant down on one of them and backs off, nearly bumping into me. I've frozen in place again, but from shock. Lined up on the floor are about six bodies, thankfully mostly covered. It still can't hide all the blood and damage, though. The men have been talking and looking that way. I guess the doctor's been telling them how they came to be.

The horse begins to pick up its pace at the same time I also smell the village. That wakes me up enough to pay attention with my eyes and ears again. It's nearly dark when we arrive outside the village doctor's place. The smell of blood and great damage to men's bodies is strong here and I'm not sure Noriko will survive. It will be another test of what she came from and what she knows, what she can stand strong in front of. I don't show it on my face, though. I only get out of the wagon and knock at the door.

A passing neighbor pauses to comment in the friendly way of small town gossips. The soldiers of the country were attacked and brought here, the closest city to the Sea of Trees, when they tried to enter it looking for the Awakening. I'm not happy to hear that news, but I can't be surprised when I see the injuries as I carry the merchant into the office. There would of course have been battle between greedy nations and men to win the Awakening.

I set the merchant down on the open bed, then check on Noriko. She's staring at the covered bodies on the floor, her eyes very wide, her hands trying to protect her heart. "This is normal. Get used to it," I tell her. If she's going to travel with me, she'll eventually see injuries of this sort. They aren't just sword wounds. They're wounds inflicted by someone who knows how to use energy attacks. That part worries me. I hope that person isn't still in the area. I'll have to draw on my own powers to fight that one.

Izark looks at me, then makes a comment. Tone of voice says something like, [You'll get used to it.] Or maybe it was just, [You'd better get used to it.] I shake my head, looking at him a bit shell shocked. TV at home carefully protects the viewer from ever really seeing stuff like this, and home is peaceful. No war in my home country.

There's a low moan from behind me and I swing around. In the second bed is another man, bandaged. He seems to be in a pain-induced nightmare as he shifts restlessly and moans. I move to put my hand on his forehead, thinking it might help him settle, when the door is slammed open and a very loud nasal voice begins complaining immediately. I've jumped four feet and am hugging the wall. I really didn't need yet another heart pounding moment and tears are standing in my eyes unexpectedly. I blink rapidly to clear them and turn to look.

The door bursts open again and three men walk in, wearing uniforms. The head, a captain the doctor calls him, is very loud and accusatory, claiming the merchant, Noriko, and I are suspicious and should be taken into custody. The doctor tries to calm him and gets labeled badly as well. What an unpleasant fellow. Noriko has been badly frightened by him, and his one remaining living soldier in the room is very distressed by the noise as well. 

So, I noticed that in the village most people are like at home: average with a bell curve. I happened to get lucky and run into two good looking ones right away. This one shows the full stretch of the possible data: Izark on the "beautiful" end of the scale, the infuriatingly loud man in uniform that just walked in on the "ugly" end.

The biggest buck-teeth overbite I've ever seen is all I can see as his mouth yaps up and down. It matches the nasal, almost whiny voice. Did you come visit here, Shakespeare? I've gotten to meet the man-turned-donkey, and I'm apparently playing the part of the Fairy Queen. Except my story is all mixed up. I'll keep the quiet Izark, thanks.

Suddenly, Izark moves. He grabs the man, puts his hand over his mouth and speaks quietly. [Shut your mouth, dumb-ass. See this guy over here? He's injured and you're yelling. Don't you know it isn't polite to yell in hospitals?] I'm putting words in Izark's mouth. He's probably politer than I.

I grab the man and put my hand over his mouth to close it for him. "Could you please be quiet? Look at the bed over there." I help him see it by turning him to face that way. "He's one of your men, isn't he? He's badly wounded. Your shouting must be tormenting him."

I release the captain. He can only stutter in the face of a clear and obvious statement about someone under him that he should be having consideration for. "We have no intention of defying you. Our belongings are outside. Check them as much as you like."

Izark lets him go, makes one more comment, then heads to the door. Looking out, he sighs and suddenly outside the window over the injured man is darkness. The loud man and his two followers, who've just been standing in the room, follow Izark out, the loud man still being loud but taking it and his deep-red face out with him. One comes back in and makes a demand of the doctor, who hands over a lantern. It's taken back outside.

While he's stunned and trying to recover, I walk out of the office as if leading him and his men to the wagon. But before they can leave the doctor's office, I've blown out all of the lit oil lamps along the street where we are. I quickly retrieve from my bag Noriko's things we don't want them to find and hide them. By the time they've come out with a lantern from the doctor's office it's as if nothing happened.

I carefully follow them to stand in the doorway. Superman...didn't he have the ability to blow really strongly, too? Did Izark do that? Blow out all the lamps in the street? The two...guards?...are going through the bags in the wagon. Oh. Yeah, he did. I swallow the lump of fear that rises into my throat. We have things we (he) doesn't want found.

I look at Izark, and he turns to look at me. He gives me a reassuring look and I give him a small nod. It's hard to bury the fear again, though. I want to hold his hand for reassurance, but don't move from the doorway, holding onto the frame instead. I'm pretending my feet aren't rooted again -- the traitorous things.

Noriko peeks out through the door at me and I give her an encouraging smile to let her know not to worry. She looks like she's trying to not worry, but her body is betraying her again. Her legs shiver and she can't come join me, nor move from the doorway. That's good enough for now. It's better for her to hold on to the door frame than me.

Somehow, we manage to make it through the ordeal of having the donkey-man be suspicious of us and are allowed to leave, bag intact. I have a good map in my head, so I try to keep track of landmarks and where we go. I'd like to talk to the doctor again before we leave the village, if Izark will let me. First it is finally dinner. Izark orders, of course. When it comes, we both just stare at it for a while. Now that it's come, I'm suddenly not hungry. He doesn't look too hungry either.

He's ordered me "koko". Smart man. I've never had more than a taste of wine in my life. I still can't drink it, though. Then I remember: alcohol was drunk in Europe because they couldn't drink water without getting sick. "Izark," I motion for his drink, "[please]." I make a motion for small or tiny. He tentatively hands it over. I smell it. Nasty, but it does seem to have the essence of alcohol.

I pour about a tablespoon or so into my water, swirl it around and sniff. Just to make sure, I add a little more, give him his cup back and check mine again. Now it has just a faint whiff of the alcohol. That should do it. I know it works that way with bleach. Add just enough to be able to smell it faintly and you can drink bad water safely. I hope this works. I'm dying of thirst.

Ah, I forgot -- must be tired. "Sheshe." He nods tiredly as well, trying to eat, but it looks like he doesn't want to swallow. I hope it's not because it tastes bad.

My water has to be refilled four times, and he's nice and let's me purify it each time from his own cup. The food isn't so bad, but I can't eat any more than he is. I feel bad for wasting his money, but I finally have to put my ‘fork' down. "[Sorry.] Sheshe." I'm looking down at my hands in my lap.

Izark makes a small, tired comment, moves, and the sounds of coins gently hitting the table come to my ears just before he stands up. I stand up, too, making sure he isn't mad. He doesn't seem to be, just tired.

I follow him out, walking closely to him, then finally give up and hold on to the back of his jacket. I don't want to be lost. It's dark, even with the lanterns, and I do my best to keep the map going, but that's all I've got in me any more, my sleep and eating schedule is so messed up.

We're finally released to go into town and find an inn to sleep. The doctor warned me that they're already filled with soldiers. Not only are they there to find the Awakening, there's been unrest nearby and they're housed in Calco tonight and move out for their assignment in the morning.

He's told me how to find both inns and wished me good luck. If we can't find a bed in an inn, we'll sleep under the stars instead. I don't want to make Noriko do that, but I'd rather sleep outside of town than get picked up by the soldiers and discovered.

The first inn is full, so we move on. We pass a tavern where there's a fight breaking out. Locals spill out from it, complaining about the soldiers who don't care about the villagers. Apparently they complained to the soldiers about the band of thieves that attacked the merchant and were told that wasn't the duty of the soldiers to take care of. It's so irritating that the soldiers have such a lack of caring for the very people they're supposed to protect. Damaging the property of the poor villagers isn't any better, either.

As we pass the doorway, I blow out the candles in the tavern, leaving the fighters in the dark, which interrupts the fight. It likely won't help all that much, and is perhaps petty, but I tire of seeing it everywhere I go now. Honor and mercy are being lost and it's both sad and maddening.

Noriko and I were too tired to eat, although Noriko tried to not be wasteful. I was grateful for just that much. She did drink a lot of water, though. I was almost too tired to observe that she poured my alcohol into her water just enough to smell it, then drank it. It was only because she politely asked, and because she did it four or more times that I really saw it to understand it. Again, she was worried about what the drink here would do to her, like the trail food earlier.

I don't think that's why she ate so little, though. If she's really like me, she couldn't eat because the body rejects food when it's trying to recover from using so much energy to fight what's trying to take over inside. I don't like that similarity, but I'm too tired to say one way or the other. Fatigue in general would be sufficient and she hadn't slept all that long in the wagon. Not a full night's sleep anyway, and she was quiet after she woke up, another sign she's worn out.

As we go around the corner of the tavern she tugs on my jacket where she's holding on so we don't get separated in the dark of the strange city she doesn't know. She asks me a question in her own language, then blows and snatches with her free hand. That's twice she's seen it happen. She's observant to pin it on me. Reluctantly I nod. She's also going to see more than that if we stay together. She's seen the fire and now the wind with that much.

Just like with the fire, she doesn't comment further, nor does she seem worried by it. I wonder why? Are such things known in her world? She only gives me a tired smile in answer to my look, then holds her hand in a fist, raising the thumb in the air. I don't know what that means and it's a very strange reaction to have. She gives up with a slight shrug. Some things don't cross the language barrier.

Izark took us to an inn. We've been turned away and sent on. On the way to his next place to try, there's suddenly a ruckus in front of us and people are pouring out of a building. I hold on to his jacket tighter. He's going to just keep going on through. It looks like a bar, and a brawl is going on. The villagers who spilled out are sadly complaining. As we pass the doorway, Izark sighs again and the lights in the bar go out.

I wait until we've rounded the corner. "Izark, did you put out the lights?" whooo, I blow, then snatch with my free hand. He reluctantly nods. I give him a thumbs-up and a tired smile. He looks at me like I'm strange. Well I am. What can I say? ... And maybe a thumbs-up here is a swear word: "up yours" or something.

There's one room left in the second inn. I take it without argument. We need to sleep. The nightman is talkative before sending us to the room at the end of the hall. There are two beds and a privacy screen. That will work well enough. I sit on the edge of the bed to the left and fish out my clothes that she was wearing earlier.

She's frowning at me, but she takes the clothes. To finish reassuring Noriko, I pull her books and pen case out and hand them to her. She thanks me, but instead of taking them, she sneak attacks me and places her hand on my forehead. I jerk back and scowl at her.

I don't want her to know, I don't want her to be the cause, and I don't want to believe it: that I've overworked and the change is coming. If I'm going to change now, it's only because I've had to work too hard today. I'm stubbornly fighting it already, the same as I do every time this happens. It's habit now and only time and rest are the cure. I hope we'll be left alone here in the inn that long.

We get a room at the next inn, but it's the last one, since Izark gets tossed the last key on the board. I don't like the shifty looking nightman, but I hopefully won't have to see him again. Izark leads me up the stairs. There's plenty of murmuring noise from the rooms. Definitely packed. We get the Royal room, it feels like. It's straight back at the end of the hall.

I shiver, feeling exposed. I hope there are bars or locks on the inside of the door. There aren't, just the lock under the handle. I shiver again and look for a chair to set in front of the door, but don't see one.

There are two single beds, a privacy screen, behind which is a... chamber pot. Sigh. It's something, but in a mixed room -- which I don't want to trade for anything -- somewhat embarrassing. Izark sits on the bed on the left and gets into his bag. He's really not looking too good. "Izark," I walk over, frowning.

He pulls out the clothes I was wearing before and hands them to me. I take them. He pulls out the notebooks and pencil case. I believed him before. "Sheshe," but instead of taking them, I put my hand on his forehead.

He brushes me off irritably, scowls at me, and shoves my things at me. I take them, but he wasn't fast enough. I felt the heat. He's getting a fever. Is the kryptonite somewhere nearby? I wonder, Or did he just have to do too much today, and it's all catching up to him?

This time, Noriko doesn't fight my unspoken scold. She takes her things and goes to her bed. I'm relieved and drop my bag, leaving it there. I unclip my sword and put it close to hand between me and the wall. I flop down with my back to her. I want even her to not be here now. It's too much a burden to carry when I'll need everything I have to just stay myself.

I do have to get up to use the chamber pot. That much I can't refuse. Then I'm back in bed. Noriko eventually gets up from her bed to do the same and to change behind the privacy screen. When she's back in bed and quiet, I finally slip into sleep.

I walk my stuff to my bed and he drops the bag, unclips his sword and flops down with his back to me. I got it, I think tiredly. While I sit and write the words I want to remember, in pencil this time, wishing I had more ink because now I want to write the words in his written language so I can also learn to read, he gets up and uses the chamber pot. I pretend not to notice. It's hard, though.

When I'm done with words, and reviewing the numbers from before, I take my turn. I drank too much at dinner. I'm probably going to be up in the middle of the night to do this again. I change back into his pajamas while I'm behind the screen. I wasn't going to -- I made a mess of them after all -- but I want the closeness of knowing they're his, all of a sudden.

I return to my bed. He's blown out the candle on his side, and his back is to me again. I pull out my journal. I write and write until I'm sure he's sleeping, by the gentle breaths I hear, then I pull out my cell phone. I want to know if it will still tell me what time it is. I'm hoping it has an internal clock run by batteries. It does. It's almost 6 a.m. home time. I was brought here about 3:30 p.m. Fourteen and a half hours. Yeah, it feels like it. Well, if it's two-ish hours after dark now, and 6 a.m.....

I write it as a note in my notebook. I'll check it again in the morning when I get up. I'd already set it to power save mode when I first changed back in the cave, when I took it out of my satchel and stuck it in my pocket. I'm glad it survived the fall from the cliff. I just need it to last until I figure out if the hours in the day are the same. Then it can go down a dark hole, too.

I stare at the background picture, trying to burn it into my skull. I'm strange, I already said it. It's a picture of my family. When the phone dies and is buried, they will be too ...likely. It's too sad. I quickly shove it inside my pile of clothes that I'm leaving next to me on my bed near the wall. I try to go back to writing, and can't.

I sit shivering on the bed, until everything...all the fear, the loneliness, the confusion, that I've been bottling up overwhelms me again. I need comfort, and there is only one place to go. Wait. Don't do this. He's exhausted. (So am I -- not rational at all.) Stop.

But I'm already here, curled up against Izark's back, desperately needing warmth, shivering, tears already spilling. He's suddenly gone, turned to look at me, his back pressed against the wall as far from me as he can get. I've surprised him for sure. I can't look at him and I slowly curl up in pain around my aching heart until I'm balled up in front of him on his bed. "I wanna go home!" I cry, my thumb to my mouth, and my sobs fill the room with noise.

I'm suddenly awake again, my back pressed up against the wall, completely surprised out of my sleep by someone I don't want close to me right now. A shivering, crying Noriko wails a pitiful set of words as she curls up into a ball around her aching heart that has lost its home and family. Once again I can only have compassion, but I'm too tired to do more than let her lie there until she calms down. 

I shake her awake and make her go back to her own bed, then sit with her long enough for her to really doze off. With a sigh, I blow out her candle so the room is dark and climb back into my own bed. I hope that was sufficient so that we both can sleep off the exhaustion.

I'm finally calming down, slipping into sleep. Izark didn't touch me, but he let me stay. Now he shakes my shoulder lightly. "Noriko," he sits up and makes me get up, too, then walks me to my bed and points. Get in bed. Half asleep, I comply. He's kind and stays sitting next to me until I'm asleep -- or, almost there. I feel him rise, hear him blow out my candle and climb back in his own bed with a sigh.

I wake up to sounds of other patrons of the inn moving and getting ready to start their days. Izark is still asleep, so I slip to the partition and do my thing. I change and quickly check my cell phone for the current time, then hide it in my clothing, on my person again. It isn't going to last much longer. Hold on for one more half-day at least...! I slip back out and Izark is standing at the window. He turns to me and greets me. I nod.

The sounds of heavy footsteps leaving the inn wake me up. Morning already. That must be the soldiers leaving. I tiredly rise to my feet to peek through the curtains on the window between our beds and watch the soldiers mount up and move out of the city. They're taking their dead in coffins with them. Calco should be quiet now. That's good. I'm so weak already I can tell it's the old ailment coming on. Sleeping wasn't sufficient to heal me. I'll be able to let Noriko walk about town if she wants without the soldiers here.

I hear a rustle from behind the privacy screen and turn. "I didn't know you were up," I say to her. She nods and then the world spins. I land on the floor painfully. My legs gave out suddenly. All my energy is gone, completely. I would normally just lie here until enough energy returns that I can drag myself into the bed. Not this time. This time I hear Noriko cry out my name and feel her footsteps coming towards me.

The "good morning" dies on my lips unborn as I watch him slump to the ground as if toppled. "Izark!" I drop the clothing in my arms and jump towards him. He pushes up, weakly, but has heard me coming. He raises his head just enough to yell something at me. I freeze. He has never raised his voice. Not to me, not ever. (That's only been one day, dear, the grandmother in me says patronizingly.) I watch him as he struggles to rise.

Without really knowing, without having the energy to control even the demon of fear within me, out of my mouth comes a very angry, "Don't - don't touch me!" I struggle and strain to get myself up, and to the bed. I'm too heavy for her to lift and don't want her touching me anyway.

As last night, I don't want her to know, don't want her to touch me, don't want to have it confirmed that she, the Awakening is going to make this happen more and more frequently until I'm no longer myself. I don't want her here, in my life, and my fear and anger are rejecting her.

Once I'm up on the bed, my head clears a little. Noriko is standing petrified and I remember that not only can she not understand what I said, it's the first time I've raised my voice to her. From her perspective someone who's only been strong before her collapsed in total weakness. She can only be worried. My heart repents. "I'm sorry."

Noriko shakes her head, though her eyes remain wide. She forgives, though is still confused. She takes a step toward me and I scowl at her. I still don't want her close; the fear is still more strong than the compassion. That makes her pause. She obeys to stay still, but motions and tries to remember her words. I can't unscramble them, too tired to make my brain work that hard. She tries again, taking a deep breath to recover from her own shock. She clearly says her own words, an order to me followed by a motion at my bed.

Slowly his focus goes from having to be in control and strong to one of realizing what he just did and my reaction to it. The "[sorry]" is matched completely by the expression on his face. I shake my head. I don't know why you yelled, but I get that it was a reaction, not a chosen action. He moves to sit on his bed.

He completely cannot move. Whatever ‘kryptonite', or exhaustion he's experiencing, it has hit full force this morning. It must be bad if he could sleep all night and wake up to this complete reversal of strength. If it's just exhaustion he just needs to sleep, but..., I'm from another planet. If I've brought an unknown disease with me and he's caught it first because he's the first one to come in contact with me... I couldn't bear it.

I motion with my hand Izark's to stay there, in bed, try to say the words he's told me twice now, but I'm sure I've got it wrong. He can barely breathe. I step towards him to help him lie down and he twitches with a scowl. I begin to back off, then stop and take a breath. "Lie down," I say clearly and motion he's to get in bed. When he doesn't, I threaten to come closer again. He moves, although slowly, until he's in his bed, lying down.

My brain is slow to translate, and my body even slower to act. Her small courage comes to face me again and she dares me, taking a step towards me -- a threat that she will disobey if I won't obey also. I note it, but my body has already finally moved to act on the slow request of my own. I do agree. Lying down is much better than sitting up. Finding even that small energy to move to do it is hard. If I could let her help it would be better to lean on her energy and strength, but to fight my fear is even more energy. 

Once I'm lying down my fear continues to glare at her. I've obeyed, now she must also and stay away. I'm surprised by the flash of pain that crosses her face just before she turns to run from the room. My fear relaxes, but the rest of me worries now. My fear doesn't care, is only glad she left. Weary, I don't run from the worries, but I also can't dredge up enough strength to even call the wind to tell me where she's gone. Still..., when she leaves the building, I know she has. I sigh lightly and do what I can do. Rest.

He's looking at me, distrust in his eyes. That hurts. I turn and run out of the room. Does he think I'm his kryptonite, or does he think I'm the one who made him sick, or is he mad about last night? That makes me blush as I head at a run down the stairs and out the door.

I pause to look, and hope the map in my head, made in the dark, will get me where I need to go. Jog left -- down the street -- turn at the bar -- down the street.... Ah, we went to the other inn first, but I think we backtracked.... I look around.

[Hey, you! yadda yadda] The words I don't understand, but the voice and face I do recognize. The doctor himself is walking down the street and is looking at me. He must have either recognized me, or was looking for me for some reason. He's who I'm looking for so I run up to him, ignoring his companion, although I get out a quick, "[Sorry.]" I grab the doctor by the sleeve and tug. "[Please!] Izark -- [help]."

The doctor looks at me confused, but seems willing to come as I continue to tug and plead. He briefly speaks to his companion and they both come with me. I'm in a hurry, anxious, and can't stay polite enough to let them come at their own pace -- these two older men who can't move fast.

I get to the street where our inn is, then can't remember which of the two buildings in front of me it is. I stop and stare between them. Izark! I moan in my heart. Where are you? I'm suddenly certain it's the building on the left. I go with it. Opening the front door, I'm rewarded. It's the steps up I recognize.

The doctor is already coming in behind me, so I run up ahead, up the stairs, then dance in impatience, trying to calm down. Down the hall towards the room, then back again until his head is over the top of the stairs and he can see where I'm going. I run down the hall to the door and run into the room.

Light footsteps coming down the hallway alert me that Noriko has come back. They are nervous footsteps that come then retreat, but in an odd way. She opens the door rather suddenly and my eyes open to look at her to understand. She's nearly dancing, and her attention is on something in the hallway.

Slower steps are approaching. I groan to myself and work to pull myself up so that I can receive whomever it is at least upright. I have to prop myself up against the headboard of the bed to stay upright. I hope this will be brief. The little rest I had seems to be enough for this much, perhaps.

Izark is lying down, but his eyes fling open and look at me. He seems relieved it's me, then hears the voices coming behind me. I hold the door open and look back in the hall. By the time they arrive, he's sitting up in the bed in a come hither pose. I record it to drool over later. He doesn't know he's doing it, nor what it suddenly did to me, and I'm too upset at the moment to properly digest it.

As Noriko turns her attention to me, coming farther into the room, she's followed by the doctor and another man in nice clothing. "Oh! What's wrong with you? You look exhausted!" The doctor's face has seen the sun and he comes straight for me. Noriko must have been anxious enough with him to make him worry also. I don't want him touching me either, nor can he help me. As his hand comes for my forehead, I block him with a scowl. 

"Izark!" Noriko scolds from the foot of my bed and folds her arms, the Teacher glaring at the fear that's glaring back. The fear backs down. Even it doesn't have the strength to face the Teacher today. I just want them gone.

The doctor has the light bulb go on and he's over to Izark's side quickly, but Izark is just as irritated that the doctor wants to examine him as he was I did. "Izark," I scold quietly, folding my arms, and give him my lecture face. Inside, I'm a mess. He stares at me, then calms down and explains himself more rationally to the doctor.

I tolerate the doctor checking my temperature. "Oh, that is a high fever. I wondered why the girl was so worried. You're very ill. What are the symptoms?" He grabs my wrist to check my heart rate.

"Doctor, I'm fine. From time to time this happens. My fatigue accumulates and bursts out all at once. I've been like this my whole life." I take my arm back.

"Oh, I've never heard of anything like that," the doctor's puzzled.

"No, and there's nothing you can do. I merely need to rest until my body recovers. There is no other treatment. It's my old ailment."

It looks like he's told the doctor it's something he can't do anything about. I disagree as much as the doctor does. If it's something I gave him, the doctor's the only one who has any hope of helping him. It won't happen yet, though. I have to let the doctor get the symptoms first.

"So, you're a sick man, eh?" a loud voice from behind the doctor says suddenly. The aging wealthy man who came in with the doctor has scared Noriko with his sudden loudness. I'm not liking it either. In small rooms it really isn't necessary to be loud.

The doctor turns to calm the man. "Mayor...."

"Mayor?" I ask. My ears surely can't have been right. Why would the mayor have followed Noriko and the doctor here?

"That's right," the mayor says, not really quieting down very much. His face speaks disapproval. "The doctor told me about you. I want you to get rid of the thieves for us."

The merchant told the doctor last night that I cut the leader of the band of thieves. I hadn't expected that to bring the mayor to ask for aid. Perhaps they'd been looking for me to begin with when Noriko found them. It is work I need, but not today.

The mayor points at me and complains to the doctor. "Doctor, this man is too sick for the job. And what's with his little girlfriend?"

"You shouldn't be talking like that in front of the man," the doctor tries again to calm the mayor down.

The mayor is another man who says too many words for saying nothing. "How can I rely on a sick cradle-robber for this mission?"

Suddenly the doctor's companion is being very loud. I wince. The doctor at first tries to get him to be quiet, but he's focused on talking to Izark. He doesn't sound like he's being very nice, and his voice is way too loud. Not as loud as the donkey-man last night, but still. This is a small room and Izark is very weak right now.

I roll my eyes and try to bring the conversation back to something useful and get rid of him. Noriko is also beginning to be unhappy the talking is going on so long. "How much can you pay?"

"What?" I've interrupted them and they missed it.

"How much is the pay for the job?"

"It's 5,000 zol," the doctor says. The equivalent of five gold. That's rather good, actually, for a poor village.

"I know it's not much, but it was all the villagers could give," the mayor is emphatic in his zeal and concern. "There's about twenty men in the gang. They  attack farmers and traveling merchants. Anyone who tries to fight back gets killed or sold into slavery. We're very poor...."

"I accept your offer. It's my kind of job." That stops the mouth of the mayor ...for about one second.

"How... how can a sick man take on that kind of job!" He's loud again in his disbelief because of what his eyes see.

Noriko is suddenly in motion, arriving to stand between me and the mayor and doctor, her arms spread wide. Her scold is quite firm and her disapproval for the mayor obvious to all three of us. She hasn't understood the conversation, only finally lost patience with the mayor being too loud and scolding in tone. 

I snap and move. Standing between them, my arms out, I scold. "I did not invite you here, and certainly not to yell at Izark, who's sick. Shut your trap or I'll be inviting you to leave." I scowl at him. He's in shock, then blushes red.

The mayor blushes a deep red as I pull back in shock. Her strength in my behalf is even more than the strength from before, as much almost as the first lecture.

Embarrassment is better than anger in this world, I've already decided, so I'm willing to let him say he's sorry and keep talking to Izark, but I stay where I am to remind him to keep to his manners, folding my arms to make my point. The conversation still takes longer than I want it to. Izark needs to be lying down.

"She got mad because you've been yelling at him," the doctor knocks the mayor in the arm with his elbow, a more gentle scold than Noriko's.

"Uh, well...," the mayor finds it difficult to recover.

I laugh to myself. Even I know how hard it is to recover when Noriko scolds like this. "Give me some time, Mayor. I'll be fine in a day or two."

"Oh, if that's the case, then we'd be happy to wait," the doctor takes over to keep Noriko calm, I suppose. "We're glad you've accepted our offer."

The mayor interrupts, "But, this money is precious. We shouldn't hire someone who's not really --"

"Mayor," I interrupt again. We need to cut this short. There's another thing they need to know. "You can pay me later. By the way, someone's behind the door."

"What? Who's there?" the doctor calls. "What do you want?"

The man chooses to open the door instead of run. It's the nightman who works for the inn. "He-hello. I didn't want to bother you when you were in the middle of a conversation. I work here. How would you like to have your meal? Other guests are eating in the dining room downstairs."

It's a weak reason to have been listening to our conversation, but it's sufficient for the doctor to ask if Noriko has even eaten yet. He requests that a meal be brought up for me. It will go uneaten, but I'm too weary to argue.

I'm about to start tapping my foot to make my point when they turn to the door and call out. The sleazy nightman opens the door and says something weakly. He's lying whatever he just said. I scowl at him, too, but no one sees that.

I need them gone. "Please, see that Noriko is fed her meal." I look at Noriko and get her attention. "Noriko, go." I point to the doctor and the door. "Go."

I point to myself, the doctor, the door, then walk two hands worth of double fingers together. He nods. I pull on my ear and he repeats the word one more time. "[Go.]" I nod, then motion for him to lie down again. He nods.

"Koko?" I ask him. He shakes his head. I frown and put my hand on my forehead. "Koko." 

She knows even that. I sigh and can't keep the tired from off my face any longer. "[No], Noriko. [No] water." 

I relent, turn, and push the other two men out of the room ahead of me. Before I leave, I look back at Izark. "Sleep. I'll be back." He nods without looking at me. He's already slipping back down to rest and he looks terrible. I quickly leave the room. I'm worried, but he'll sleep better without me, and I want to interrogate the doctor.

I'm already slumping down to lie on the bed. That was more than I could do. When the food arrives later, I barely register it. My body is wanting to change, slowly churning inside. I can only lie here, wishing it away, glad it's slow again this time, that resting is preventing it from doing more harm.

They make me stop at the dining room of the inn and sit me down to eat something. I look at it with a sigh. I really shouldn't and I'm still not hungry, not really. My stomach is in knots.

I get up and walk into the kitchen and find a teakettle on. I pick it up and point to it, and then a cup, and then they get the picture. The innkeeper's wife pulls out three tins and I sniff my way through them and pick the one that smells best and hand it to her. She pours me up some tea. I look around the kitchen, find a single roll and grab that, and quickly have tea and a roll. That much will stay down, I'm pretty sure.

The doctor is scolding me. I hold up a finger to forestall him, then I hold up three fingers. I point to the first finger, then the food, then make a motion for "small". I point to the second finger, point to the food and make a motion for "medium", then repeat for the third finger but make it the largest. They all start talking amongst themselves like they get it, and ever so happily, too. I let them run off with it, finishing my small meal.

When I'm done, I tug on the doctor's sleeve to get his attention. "Noriko." I point to myself. I point to him. He probably gives me his proper name, but from now on it means, "Doctor". I point between us, then make a motion using both hands for a building: roof, walls. "Noriko, Doctor [go] house." I think I got "go" right. I point to him again, then move towards the door and in a flash I'm remembering "[Come.]" Izark had to say it so many times, trying to talk me onto that ledge. It makes me shiver to remember it, though.

The doctor comes and his friend follows him. I frown at him, though. It's not my place to tell him to get lost, I suppose, but I wish he would. The doctor says something teasingly to him and the man blushes. He does leave us along the way to the doctor's place and I relax a little. As I said, this doctor reminds me of my Grandfather, who is easy to just exist with. I used to read books under the tree while my Grandfather puttered around his garden in the back yard. I don't think about it too hard, though. I don't want to be sad again.

The doctor is trying to talk to me, but I finally shake my head at him, then pantomime writing. He raises an eyebrow, then decides to be quiet and just watch me while we walk. That's a little uncomfortable, but I let him. I'm an odd bird.

We hit the office and the merchant is all words again. I finally look at him with a withering look and say, "Shhh." He shuts up and blushes. After a pregnant pause, I add, "[Please.]" He nods. He's nice, but I've got things on my mind that he's interrupting.

"Doctor, I need pen and paper." I point to his desk. He nods and I sit down. He puts a piece of paper in front of me. Thank God they have it. I pick up the nib pen and dip it in the ink bottle. It takes me a few tries to get it to work right, then I get going.

When I come up for air, rather a long time later, I've got sheets of paper in front of me and a doctor next to me who's flabbergasted, now that I've let him up for air. I frown over the notes, reviewing them one more time. There are four childhood diseases. That's not very many. The merchant has had them all (he still had to have his say). The doctor says that what Izark has isn't one of them. They don't know about vaccination (I could change this world with just that knowledge alone). Worst of all is the fourth disease.

After we left the cave and Izark had time to ponder my last conversation with him, he finally stopped us and drew for me "today" and the pictures I'd drawn before. Then he crossed them all out and drew new pictures, telling me that I was to tell a different story to anyone who asked who I was and where I'd come from. It was a very convenient story for my purposes today. I've drawn those pictures for the doctor.

A large continent, many small islands. My island was the farthest one out. I'd come on a boat with my family. All of my family had died. I'd shown the doctor that, then pointed to the four childhood diseases, asking if one of them would have done it. He'd pointed to that fourth one. After intensive questioning, I learned that it didn't kill children, just older teens and adults. It was one that the older immune systems couldn't keep up with, I presumed. If anything was going to kill me, it was going to be that.

I don't know all the symptoms of the diseases from my world, but I asked the doctor for a list of all of Izark's symptoms. He could simply have the flu from the description he gave me. It was most likely that or just extreme exhaustion, which I think the doctor had tried to say Izark had said it was. Well..., I could believe it. He'd worked hard, fast, and a lot for me -- and the merchant. He might be strong, just not Superman, and he'd overdone it.

He might also have punctured an internal organ and it was infecting. He'd die in the next day or so if it was that, and it was the only way to tell. No modern hospital equipment here. Except he hadn't complained of any internal pain, not even when we fell. I draw back from that line of thinking.

I twirl the pen in my fingers for a moment, thinking of where I need to go next. I point to all of the diseases, then point to me. "Noriko, no." I shake my head. The doctor looks concerned. I'm feeling the same way. I ask him for the names of the herbs that help heal each one, and have him write them down for each one, next to my phonetic spelling of them, and the proper treatment for each one of them.

Then I do a harder thing and try to talk him into understanding that I know basic medicine that I learned back on the island and I want to perform it on myself. I ask the merchant, using my broken language, if he's willing to help me. He's delighted he can help me and decides to help even more by giving the doctor a raving review of my medical attention to him the day before, which was minimal first aid. Izark did all the real medicine. I'm sure the glowing report didn't hold to reality very well, but it gets me the approval I wanted from the doctor.

I bite my lip, wondering one last time if this is such a good idea. I'm in a place I shouldn't be, about to vaccinate myself for a disease I may never get, except that I'm going to vaccinate myself with it, and I'll take it home with me if I get to go home ...or rather them. It's going to be all four diseases at once. I'm not even sure it's going to work, but it's the best I can do right now.

The doctor doesn't have any child patients right now with any of them. That might be a good thing, actually ...maybe. And this method may not even work, but I'd rather try it than die of that fourth disease if it works. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and put the doctor's scalpel to the flame of the candle on the bed the merchant is on. I'm resting my left arm near his arm.

We've already cleaned the incision points with some of the finer alcohol (meaning of high content) the doctor was willing to part with on a patch of clean cloth. When I think the knife is clean, I wait for it to cool, then make a quick incision in my left forearm. It's more painful than I thought it would be and I gasp involuntarily and nearly drop the scalpel. The doctor has been cleaning another one in the flame. As soon as it's cool, he cuts into the arm of the merchant.

I hold open my wound, blinking back the tears of pain and the doctor holds the merchant's wound over mine until four drops of blood enter my wound. Then we're quickly pressing clean cloths, prepoulticed, over the wound sites. I hold mine tightly and raise my arm over my heart, willing the merchant's blood to stay in.

When the doctor has bound the arm of the merchant, he brings a strip of cloth to bind mine. I tell him to make it a little tighter and he does, then tucks the ends in like Izark does. I wipe the scalpels on the cloth my arm bled on, then clean them in the flame again briefly before blowing the candle out. I'm still blinking away tears of pain, a scowl on my face because I'd rather not be crying at all.

Carefully I roll my dress sleeve back down over the cut and hold it in place again to get it to seal, resting my elbow up on the merchant's bed (it's high enough the doctor can work on his patients while sitting in his chair -- which is where I am right now).

The merchant asks something and grins at me. I continue to scowl and shake my head. "No. No we are not blood brother and sister, nor married, nor anything of the sort. [Thank you (for) help.]" He points between the two of us as if to cajole me, and I shake my head. "Noriko -- Izark." I say it very firmly. He sighs and looks dejected.

The doctor teases him and he gives the doctor a dirty look. The doctor looks at me. "[Do you think it will work?]" I assume is his question.

I shrug. "It'd take a miracle. ...Just call me Miracle Max." I sigh. I might have just consigned myself to a death I wouldn't have had to face at all. I really have no idea how I fit into this world. I just didn't want to have to die if I could do something to prevent it.

The doctor moves to his desk and pulls out the paper with the four diseases on it, then walks back and forth between his desk and a shelf of bottles of herbs. I watch him for a bit while he puts out four envelopes and marks them. I want to know more but will wait. I can't focus right now.

I finally lie down on the floor and hold my arm above my head. I need better blood flow to my own head, and I focus on breathing. Fainting comes from lack of oxygen after all. The merchant looks over the side of his bed, worried. I blink at him. "Okay," I say, but I don't know if he learned that word out of the ones I said.

He asks a question. I assume, "[Are you okay?]" I nod and keep breathing.

I have brain function back, and don't feel like I'm in shock any more, so I get up, slowly. Seems okay. The doctor has been ignoring me. I assume he understands. Once I'm up, I walk over to his desk and he's ready to give me my lesson.

I learn what all the herbs do. I write that in my own language next to their names. He explains the quantities needed for what. I write that down as well. He ends with putting the packets of herbs together, with their labels for which disease they treat, and I put the whole set together. I'll keep them in my dictionary notebook.

I can't decide if I'm going to tell Izark what I've done or not. If the doctor does it, it would be faster and easier. I'll get into trouble either way, I would think.

I stop and put the small packet back down. I'm not sure how to ask for what I want though. I pull out another sheet of paper that we've already marked on but has room, and reach for the pen. The doctor gives me his desk back and I sit.

After going through the time lecture once again, I ask him to put today's date on the sheet of paper containing my notes for the remedies for the diseases, then the date range from four to six weeks from "today", on it. He raises an eyebrow. I think he gets it. He seems to ask if I know for sure and I shake my head. "It's a guess." He nods thoughtfully.

After a bit of work, I understand he's next asking if I'll still be here, or coming through. I shrug. "Izark." I say. The doctor's going to have to ask him. The doctor nods. It looks like Izark might be hearing it, then. "Izark [come], Noriko [come], Noriko tell," I point to my mouth and his ear, "Doctor." If we come back, I'll tell you what happened. He seems pleased enough with that answer. It's all I can give.

I'm sure he'd love to know if it worked and how well. He might be able to save many more lives if it does work. I know how to immunize for small pox -- that was part of my History class in high school -- but there weren't any patients here to use that method. If we do come back, and I've learned the language better by then, I'll teach him that method, too. It's more reliable than this one, I'm sure of it.

I've only done what I did on pure guess work, that the merchant is still carrying dead cells, and maybe even living ones, of the diseases in him, and he has the immunity to them. I'm hoping my body will learn that immunity, and that there weren't any living cells, just dead ones.

I close my eyes and lean back in the chair. For just a moment, I can't care if I die of disease. I don't even know why I'm here anyway. For all I know it was for just this one moment. To teach one village doctor the concept of immunization so that in five generations the childhood diseases of this world can be wiped out, too. That would be nice.

I'm in the doctor's way, so I finally stand up. "[Thank you.] Noriko [go] Izark." I pick up the papers and envelopes. "Noriko [come] Doctor after." I pantomime eating and hold up two fingers, then motion for after eating. He nods, and I head out the door.

At the inn I head up to our room. Izark is asleep. That's good. I tuck my new information with the herb packets into my notebook, then flop on my bed, handling my arm tenderly. I'm asleep pretty quickly.

There is a moment in time that morning where a vague worry for Noriko rises in me, but she isn't here, having left with the doctor. I don't want her here, so the worry slips away again. When I wake briefly later, she's sleeping on her bed across the room. That's sufficient.

I'd thought because she had enough energy this morning that perhaps she wasn't like me, but perhaps she isn't at the full exhaustion yet. I still haven't asked her if this is her midnight and our midnight her morning. To learn to sleep at a different time would also be hard. I'm asleep again before she wakes up and she doesn't disturb me, kindly allowing me the rest I need.

Chapter Text

It's hard to believe Izark is still asleep. I very carefully feel his forehead. Still pretty hot. He's hot, too. He lay down on top of the covers to stay cool and he's splayed out, looking vulnerable. I sigh. Why do all the popular girls get the hot guys? I wonder how long he's going to put up with me. I'd only told him I'd stay with him until we reached the first town, so this is really my stop.

I've told them I'm not staying because I don't want the merchant to stick around and continue to woo me. I like his curly hair, but his motor mouth isn't my cup of tea. But -- I bite my lower lip -- I don't want to be parted from Izark either.

I'm sure it's bonding. I've been through such terrorizing events and extreme emotions with him protecting me all along the way, there's no way it's not. Having a weak girl following him around is not his way of life. I'm a blip of an imposition on his life, for all he's been kind since he wasn't stressed out about being in the first forest.

I slump to my knees near the foot of his bed, where I can keep an eye on him. He doesn't want me too close. I understand. I've been way too forward for a stranger he's just being nice to. In this world, it wouldn't surprise me if he's doing things for me he usually gets paid for. He's awfully good with a sword and so strong and fast, he's a warrior of some kind for sure.

If this was an RPG, he'd be a player character, and I'd be a plot character and he'd get some kind of really cool prize at the end. I've got nothing. Nothing but tears and lectures. Sigh. I lean my head on his bed.

I've learned even more words, written down this time. Over the afternoon I let the merchant-who-should-be-a-writer-or-at-least-a-traveling-motivational-speaker finally have his way with me and kept him company so the doctor could work. He kept me writing until I cramped; although, I did make him write the equivalent in their language so I can learn to read and write here, too. I've got a lot of studying to do. My eyes close.

I still couldn't eat very much at dinner, and I skipped lunch ...on purpose. I did get to drink several more cups of tea. The doctor had some ready for me, of a medicinal one he wanted me to take so I could stay well for now, I guess.

If Izark is still sick tomorrow, I'll bug the innkeeper's wife. I still need to talk woman-to-woman before we leave about things Izark doesn't know. The doctor let me bring some of the local paper with me. I would think the innkeeper would have ink and pen. He has to keep ledgers, most likely. 

I've locked the door, right? I've just remembered the sleazy nightman I don't want to see again. Yeah, I did. I remember doing it. I sigh, relaxing. Oh, crap. I forgot to look at my time. I grab for my phone, searching for it. I get it turned on and read the time, and it dies. Well, thank you for lasting just long enough. I hold it loosely in my hand and put my head down on Izark's bed again. Tears trickle from my eyes until there's nothing.

Mom. Where are you?

"Eeeek! No! Don't come near me!"

Mom.... My heart aches.

"Stay away from me, Izark!" She sobs into her hands, unable to look at me. "Aarrggh! It was stupid of me to agree to have a child like this in return for gold. How horrible!"

What? For gold? ...A child like this? It's painful to be rejected, confusing. People flee from me telling me to stay away, telling each other to stay away from me. I'm alone, a child, left to be consumed by the darkness with no aid, no comfort.

It's a nightmare and I'm suddenly awake, but the pain is old, the loneliness constant. I look around, trying to reorient myself. I'm in a bed in what must be an inn. My sword is next to me where it should be. But the wind says there's something different this time and I look for what it is. 

I'm up suddenly, backed as far away as I can get from the girl who's fallen asleep on the floor at the foot of my bed, her head resting on the bed. She is vulnerable in her sleeping. Why...? The sudden flash of complete confusion is just as suddenly replaced with a flood of remembering. 

It's a remembering that's the opposite of my dream. This person hasn't left my side since coming here. This person has protected me in her small ways. This person doesn't look at me with eyes that fear. This person has no understanding of why she should reject me as fiercely as the rest have. I slump. It is ironic that the Awakening should worry for me.

The food that had been left on the headboard of my bed is gone. The lamp is lit. It's night already. I wonder what time it is?

The wind swirls and tells me why I've woken up. There are many men coming down the hallway as silently as they can. The closest ones are close enough for me to hear their clothing, footsteps, and then breathing.

My sword is already in my hand and I'm poised to defend. Noriko stirs and then the door bangs open. She moves to safety by the wall under the window and I must focus on the battle or we'll both be taken.

cree--ak. My head bouncing on the bed wakes me and I look up blearily. Izark is above me, crouched on the bed like a panther about to pounce on his prey. My heart lurches...but his eyes aren't looking at me. They're looking at the door. His sword is in hand, although still sheathed. I'm immediately into "fight or flight" mode, my heart racing, every muscle tensed to react.

crash! "Yaaahhh!" Izark is up in the air and I've seemingly teleported across the floor to the opposite location, ending up in the corner my bed makes with the wall, under the window between the beds.

I'm not recovered enough. I manage to escape the blades of the vanguard and take them out, but I slump to my knee, holding myself propped up with my sword. Even breathing is hard when I have to move this much before I've recovered.

I spin around, having heard two meaty thuds. My emotions are split from my visual cortex, which is looking to keep me alive. Emotions are deadly in this kind of situation, but I do still feel them, buried under the strong I'm prey and want very desperately to stay alive reaction I'm having. I have faint relief that Izark is still alive. Even his knee falling to touch the ground only evokes a distant worry and fear. He's still up and supporting himself. I've seen him survive worse.

"So! This is the guy who slashed our boss, eh?"

"Son of a ...this baby-faced dude hacked two of us already?"

"Are you that guys thugs?" I ask, remembering there were supposedly twenty. I wonder if they all came or just a few when they heard I was ill and weak. That's going to be difficult odds.

"He's weak now! We don't need to be afraid of him!" One tries to talk the others up.

"You're right. I'm in bad shape, so I won't be able to control my power." I'm warning them, but they won't hear or understand until they lie dying. If they'd waited for me, they would only have been incapacitated and lived to see another day.

"Kill him!" "Prepare to die!" 

I'm rushed and on the defensive again. One man grabs me from behind and I grab him back and roll, putting him on the ground. That exposes my back to another blade that I barely manage to dodge. Friendly damage is done as that blade goes into the arm of the man I put on the ground and he screams. 

I manage to get back up on my feet and the next people in line get what they came in asking for. I'm almost more focused on my labored breathing than the fighting, because I'm fighting myself at the same time as the men. The power wants to break out in wild spurts at times like this. That's why it kills. Every swing allows it to be released and I can't hold it back. I need to not destroy the room or building, though. I can't afford the repairs. ...I'll be unhappy about the lives lost later.

There's what is probably typical male posturing between the men who've invaded our room so fiercely and Izark, then roaring from both sides. Izark is a blade of death as he works his way through the room and another six men. He ends up on the opposite side of the room, falling back against the wall opposite me.

My distant emotions are worried for him. He's still fighting whatever illness he has. It's amazing he managed to work his havoc. (I'm trying hard to not look. Death isn't pretty, but the alternative.... With the emotions distanced, it's easy to harden.)

More voices from in the hall call out and my heart falls. I'm worried they did bring everyone. "Why are you taking so long?! Drag him out here. I'll pulverize him." Such brave foolish words.

One at the door who knows now turns around and complains back. "Gimme a break! He's just pulverized eight of us without having any strength at all. I'm outta here!" he leaves and I'm relieved, but don't really believe it.

Outside the room I hear, "Hey Han! Did you lie to us?"

"No! No, he really is sick, weak as a baby all day, I promise!"

It's the leader of the band of thieves and the night man. He's let them in after letting them know. He'll also have to be punished, but I expected it. It's a worst case scenario and they do seem to happen like that.

The man who left the room says, "No, boss, he really is staggering, can't hardly walk. But he's still beating us."

Voices of panic at Izark's strength, despite his weakness, are calling back into the hallway. Then I hear a voice I recognize and a snarl comes to my face. Damn night watchman. Spy for the forest pirate with the rodent, let his nest of nasties know Izark would be easy pickings tonight. If I see him, I'm going to kill him, I can feel it.

There's a pause, then the leader calls out to encourage his gang. It was enough and the men still in the room come for me. I defend, moving until I reach the far wall from my bed where I started. I slam back into the wall, letting it hold me up while I catch my breath again. A man who was outside my reach has gone around to Noriko's bed and is grabbing up the sheet that covers it, his eyes planning devious things as they look at me. At the same time as she grabs the cover from her corner to prevent it, to protect me again, the thief boss also remembers her. "Oh, yeah! Get the girl! We can use her!"

Oh, No You Don't! I snatch at the covering on my bed as one of the men in the room grabs at it to throw it over Izark. Ah.... That let them all know I was in the room and eyes are on me. I instinctively throw the cover in my hand over the man closest to me, that was just playing tug of war with me, turn about fair play.

I groan to myself. As she throws the bedcloth over the man who was going to throw it over me, I'm already moving. I don't bother with putting people on the floor this time. This time I only need to get to Noriko and the window.

As I wrap my arm around her, I have to wonder. Why am I doing this? I should want the Awakening to die. I could let them kill her for me. I could let them think they've killed me and show up later to teach them what they don't know. We're through the window and I barely have enough strength to use my energy to halt our fall before we land.

I push weakly on Noriko, who's hovering over me, worried again, worried still. "Go. Go hide. I'm too weak to move. Go." I went to the Sea of Trees to kill the Awakening, but this girl knows nothing. She was dealt this fate against her will, without her knowledge. It's as unfair for her as for me, who knows and doesn't want it. I may be able to move again by the time they get here. Every little moment to rest lets me have another moment of movement.

A strong arm is around my waist and we're crashing through the window to the dark road below. There's a sudden halt to our fall, then a very short fall following it. That feels weird but I don't have much time to consider it. "[Go.]" Izark is shoving at me weakly. [Run. There isn't any hope for me, but you can still get away.] "[Go!]"

"Not on your life, buddy." I make sure he's got his sword in hand, and it's resting on his body, then lift his shoulders until his back is resting on my chest. Wrapping my arms around his chest under his arms, I dig my heels in and haul back.

Once I overcome the resistance of a body at rest, we're moving -- slowly -- but moving. I've never carried anything heavier than a fifty pound sack of rice once, and that was more than I could handle almost. He's got to be at least three times that. As long as I'm only pulling, and not lifting, I can move him.

With labored effort, she begins to pull me off the street. I can only close my eyes and feel amazement. Why? I can't die. ...I haven't told her that yet. But, why? Why does she stand strong and protect me instead of herself? Her arms are warm and I feel a comfort I haven't felt since I was very young. There isn't anything I can do but accept this gift she gives me. Even the anger can only sit disgruntled in a corner and pout.

Being dragged down stairs worries me, that we'll off balance and tumble down, but somehow she manages and is taking us under a bridge, behind things stored there, and pulling me up to rest against the back wall. She pats my hand, still holding my sword, as if to congratulate me for not losing it. I give a small laugh deep inside me. I'm not sure I even have the energy to let the tight grip I have on it go. It wasn't going anywhere.

A blur of sweat, agonizingly slow movement, hearing the bandits at the inn calling to each other, lighting torches that flicker in the distance still, I know there isn't much time. By the time we're down the stairs and under the bridge, going through the obstacle course of stored items, I've already forgotten how we made it here.

Now panting with sweat dripping down into my eyes, I drag Izark to partially sit up against the back wall of this hiding place I've picked for lack of a better one. A few breaths to recover, checking to make sure he's still holding on to his sword. Good boy. I pat his hand, the one holding the sword hilt.

Back to half-way between Izark and the entrance to roll barrels on their rims between us and the outside, lift boxes on top of the barrels.... My arms are killing me from the strain, but I've got things to do.

But Noriko still isn't done. She's up and rolling large barrels to block the way between us and the opening. Then she's quickly gathering up things in her arms to run and stand between me and the barrels. What is she doing now? I'm learning even more things about the Awakening that I didn't know. Where has this strength come from? I know it's an internal strength. By the time she was putting me against the wall her arms were trembling with fatigue.

I can only watch and be amazed, trying to understand. She doesn't know. She can't be protecting me because she wants me to become the Sky Demon. What does she see? I hide the demon. I'm only being the me I want to be. Is that what she's protecting? I find that even more amazing, that she believes that what I want to be is worth protecting. I would like an ally like that. The warmth of her arms around me that I can still feel agrees.

My eyes close and I can hear that our hiding place has been found, but I am resting in Noriko's warmth and not worried. Eventually the men come around the barrels. One of them cries out right after Noriko has moved. I open my eyes to see what she's done. Her arm is up, her hand is holding one of the things held in her arms. With a smooth throw the thing is flying for the head of the other man. He also cries out as it hits him. Her arms are already too tired, so there's too little strength to actually do harm, but it delays their approach.

As soon as I'm set up, there are voices and footsteps running in the street above us. I quickly hunt for small items until I have a large arm load, then I'm running back to Izark. I put all but a few of my weapons on the ground at hand, standing where I can protect him, but not trip over him. Not a moment too soon. The flicker of carried torchlight is at the entrance to our hiding place. I watch as it approaches until it just passes my barrier, then zam! I've hit the man carrying it in the head.

Over and over Noriko throws things, alternating targets until the final things are thrown. They missed by a little, but none of the rest did. That's a rather impressive skill. I'd like to see that when her arms aren't tired. I wonder how she learned that. Does she use it for defense in her home world? It doesn't seem likely.

I'm a good aim, with all my practice with my brother, but my throwing speed is low, so it likely doesn't do much damage. I don't care. I spend the next desperate minutes playing one of my least favorite mini quests of Zelda: Majora's Mask: the bow and arrow fight from 1 a.m. until dawn keeping the aliens from taking the cows from the barn. I'm alternating which of the two men I'm throwing things at, picking the closest one at any given time, and this is just as frightening as that part of the game.

Only...I don't have unlimited weapons and when I'm out they're all on the other side of the two men who've only been held off briefly, and my already abused arms are screaming at me now. My aim was pretty bad the last several throws and they'd only had to dodge the missiles. It'd be nice if dawn came right about now.

She slumps in defeat, not knowing what to do next. It's my turn. I've rested enough and this needs to end. I won't have to hold back now that we aren't in the inn. I'm up and cutting the two men down. I keep going. They've found us from above as well, following the torch light from the torches held by the two men I just put down. I turn just outside the entrance and jump up to surprise the men above. I don't waste my advantage. I've only done about half of them and they're all here.

There's movement next to me and suddenly Izark is attacking, my dawn. Both men are down quickly. I stare after Izark, then shake my head and head after him. I can't be surprised any more, at least not on the surface that's trying to keep me alive. The clamped emotions are super worried.

He leaps straight up from the level we're at from just outside the entrance to land on the road above. I run, arriving just in time to hear the cries of the men above us. He must be feeling better -- or something -- to be able to do that jump.

My power rises and I feel the first changes coming on as my canines slide and grow pointed against my lips. Once again men have pushed me too far, but I must take them down. My hair lifts above my ears and I'm seeing differently in the night lit only by oil and torch light. The men are clearer to my sight. Those changes are distantly recognized as I cut down the men who stand against me, two and three down in one blow because the power is only loosely restrained.

I head for the opposite stairs from the ones we came down. All the bandits are arriving from that side. By the time I'm up the stairs, three at a time, Izark has already felled another four and a fifth is falling. This is really too many people to send against one. My sense of absolute fairness has just about had it. The anger is roiling out of the clamped emotions and into my muscles as adrenaline and clear-headedness. My eyes watch closely.

There's a sound from farther away and my sword is bound by a weighted chain. I'm still tired enough that again registering it from brain to body is slow. In the next instant the leader is appearing in front of me and his sword is sliding into my chest. I really don't like pain, for all I heal from it fine. My body has the same reaction as everyone else. It's annoying. I cry out in reaction to the sudden attack on my physical person and am frozen in shock.

The leader is triumphant and pulls his sword. I fall to the ground, the shock to my system weakening me again for a moment. His sword is raised to plunge into my body yet again when there's a sound that surprises me into inaction for just a moment. Noriko's body slams into the bandit chief, knocking him to the ground. He cries out in pain. She opened his wound I gave him. Then he's distressed about something else. I'm surprised it's enough he ignores Noriko and doesn't retaliate.

whiirr-clank-clank. A chain has wrapped around Izark's raised sword and holds him. Now fear does pierce through. Izark doesn't move. Doesn't he remember the teleporting bandit?! Speak of the devil. He appears in front of Izark and immediately stabs, and blood spurts from Izark's chest as he falls.

Next thing I know I'm slamming into the bandit's side, throwing him back. I'm thrown to my hands and knees from the impact, but my eyes stay on the bandit. He's okay, except yelling in pain, but a grey mist catches my attention. The rodent on his shoulder was pierced by a sword and it's disappearing into foggy smoke. I stare at it, once again my vision and my sense of absolute reality going in orthogonal directions. Then I shake my head. The bandit isn't moving, has lost his interest in me. I turn and move quickly, headed for Izark.

I'm worried for her in the next instant, though. A different bandit is swinging for her. She instinctively ducks and rolls away, towards me. She comes up in a kneeling defensive pose next to me, but I'm already on my feet, also instinctively poised to protect her. It doesn't take very long to recover from the shock and only a few minutes longer for the wounds to begin healing.

A movement over my head and I roll. Just about got a shave. A hilt is under my hand and I grasp it on the way until I'm up on my knee next to Izark. The knife is tucked under my arm, the hilt in my hand. I haven't ever used one in this way, but I'm going to. Then I realize Izark is standing next to me, no longer on the ground.

I glance up at him. He's wavering slightly, but oddly looks stronger than he did back in the bedroom when these guys first attacked. ...It's in his stance -- his legs. They stand strong and don't stagger. The strength moves up to his arms and the hand that is firmly clenched on the handle of his sword.

What kind of exhaustion is worse after sleep and better after activity? My eyes keep going up and stop. He has lengthened canines and his eyes are green-blue, and going lighter. They are also slit pupils. My breath catches, and I'm floored.

Surprisingly, my strength is already returning. I'm able to stand firm. Deep breaths bring even more strength to my body. I hear the chain coming again. This time I catch it and allow it to wrap around my arm then pull. No man has the strength to withstand me, and at this level it's even more so. The weapon is pulled out of his grasp and flies past me to cut a bandit behind me, stopping him in his tracks. 

whirrh-clank! The chain is back, but this time Izark caught it and he pulls, hard. The weapon on the other side is pulled from the hands of the bandit holding it. I duck and it sails past to hit someone behind us. I quickly scan to see who's around us and how far, but all the men are frozen, looking at Izark.

I've just seen a change in him that amounts to the second level fighter, and it stole my breath. These men look like they've never seen anything like it at all and are piss-scared. I bare my teeth in a satisfied grin, and hiss. The head bandit is up and running away. Shortly thereafter the few remaining take off after him. 

I scan those who remain standing. "A ...a monster? He's a monster!" I growl, becoming angry. It's their own fault for bringing it out. They're at a loss. The leader is called to, but he only gets up and runs away, the creature missing from his shoulder. Was it that creature that let him move through space?

The rest call for retreat and run. There are very few of them now. I take a few steps after them, but they aren't worth wasting any more strength or time on. I breathe until I've calmed the anger enough and the changes leave me.

When I'm satisfied no one else is going to move, I look up at Izark. He's looking after the men, his back to me, and he is standing strong. He's also very angry. I leave him be for now and go hunting for the sheath my new knife belongs to, pulling it off the belt of the heavy man who doesn't need it any more.

Behind me I hear a click and I turn to see Noriko holding a sheathed knife. My eyebrow lifts. She picked up one of those to protect me with as well? Her look of firm determination makes me blink at her. She points to her chest then at mine. I shake my head. It will be completely healed soon.

She gives a nod as if that's just fine, no questions, no crying in worry. I can only stare at her, not understanding. She has only ever worried and fussed. What's different this time? She saw a sword go through me and she believes me without question, that I'm fine? Her expression says she knows I don't believe her, that she knows she's odd.

I stand up and shove the knife into its sheath. The little click draws Izark's attention. He seems to have calmed down, and is looking at me with a strange expression of surprise. I look at him firmly, but my heart is starting to beat quickly in my chest again, the need for the adrenaline being gone now.

I take a deep breath, then point to my chest, then his, raising an eyebrow. He glances down at his chest, then shakes his head. Fine, I nod. He stares at me like I'm crazy. I am, I say wryly to myself.

I look at her knife, unhappy to have it in her hand. I open my mouth to complain and have to stop, snapping my mouth closed. I turn away. Her small courage is very large tonight, her anger giving her additional strength. But...on her it's a funny thing because she is and looks so small and weak.

Noriko walks up to me and shoves me, angry that I'm laughing at her determination. I don't mean to, but it's such an odd juxtaposition. I glance at her scowl and it leaves her as she finally relaxes, my own laughter letting her know the fighting is over. Her hands to go her hips to begin a simple scold and my eyes are caught by blood on her sleeve. I'm angry again as I grab at her arm. Who has injured her? When did this happen?

He looks at the knife, then frowns. He looks up at me, opens his mouth, finally sees my expression, snaps his mouth closed and turns away. What?

He's laughing at me silently, again. I walk up to him, scowling in anger and shove him in the arm. He glances at me out of the corner of his eye, trying to keep his laugh under wraps. I'm disappointed: his eyes are back to the original light brown with green highlights, and round pupils. My shoulders finally relax, and I put my hands on my hips to scold.

I'm suddenly grabbed by my left wrist, and I have to clench to keep hold of my knife. I scowl at him again, but he isn't looking at my eyes, he's looking at my arm, then up into my eyes, anger and a glint of fear in his eyes. I look down at the small amount of blood on the sleeve of my underdress. Oh. That...well.... I look up at him and shake my head. I point to the fact there's no hole in my sleeve.

I'm now the one looking angrily into her eyes. She shakes her head and points to the sleeve. There's no hole in it. I feel a sense of foreboding, and I don't like it. I roll up the sleeve to see for myself and she protests. It's bandaged, but was reopened, likely when she was pulling me to safety. What has she done!?

She tries to avoid looking at me, doesn't want to answer. She sighs finally and says, "Doctor." I scowl at her. What have they done? Wasn't I trusting him to help me take care of her? Noriko slumps and says tiredly, "Doctor [say to] Izark." She points from her mouth to my ear. 

I'm immediately walking her back to the inn, not letting go of her. "Call for the Doctor, now," I call to the villagers, who are finally brave enough to come out and see what happened now that the street is quiet again. I reassure them on the way that the thieves are gone and won't be returning this night. I also reassure them we're fine, although we don't really look it. My shirt is bloodied, and I'm worried for Noriko, not understanding the feeling in my chest.

Izark's immediately rolling my sleeve up. I roll my eyes and let him, although I protest when he isn't as careful as he should be and the pain goes shooting up my arm finally. He can see it's bandaged and freezes. The glare of accusation can't be met. I sigh. "[Doctor.]" He scowls. "[Doctor] tell," I point to my mouth, then his ear, "Izark." He's immediately frog marching me back to the inn. I have to trot to keep up with him.

The villagers have been cautiously coming out of their homes, now that the ruckus has died down, and Izark calls to one of them. "[Doctor, now.]" That person takes off running. He's asked questions and answers them shortly, all while on the move, and then we're in the inn.

When we reach the room the innkeeper has moved us to, since the other one must be cleaned before it can be used again, I hold out my hand for Noriko's knife. She has willingly allowed herself to be harmed and a blade is not for her. She refuses to give it up, pointing to my wound and arguing that she must also be able to stand to defend me at times that are surprising.

I am grateful but times like those are very rare for me. Until I can understand, I can't be comfortable with her and a blade. I can only see my mother being harmed by the one in her hands. We argue around several times until the door opens and the summoned doctor arrives.

We're arguing -- sort of. It's kind of a hard thing to do in two different languages. I've told him I'm keeping the knife and as long as he and I walk together I've got his back. He's told me I'm crazy and he doesn't need my protection. I just point at his chest, he throws up his hands and shakes his head, and we start all over again. It's cut off by the opening of the door to the room we were given to wait in.

"[Doctor!]" we say at the same time, then point to each other, both of us scowling. The doctor looks between us. He knows what my injury is. He heads for Izark, who backs up and protests, shaking his head. The doctor pauses, then makes a motion and gives a command. Izark reaches and pulls his bloody shirt off over his head.

He heads for me first, demanding I remove my shirt. "It's just an old wound," I answer, trying to stay calm enough to not draw his suspicion. "This is the blood of one of the men I fought." I bunch up the shirt so he can't see the holes nor the blood on the back of it. The sword went all the way through me.

Noriko is suddenly in front of me, putting her hand on top of the wound, her fingers lightly touching it, then she's turning me away from the doctor, pushing me to get dressed quickly, and turning to him to show him her own wound. I'm sure she was hiding that my wound was healing even as we spoke, and testing to know it for herself. Her own worry for the wounding must still have been present, even if she chose to believe me. I'll have to puzzle that one out when I'm not so upset with her. This stone in my stomach will need to be removed first.

It's as I expected. His wound is at best an old scar. They talk while I slip over and put my hand on the scar lightly. Yup. It's healing under my touch. I can feel the skin growing properly under my fingers and the scar shrinking. Izark begins to move away and I grab Izark's arm and turn him away from me and the doctor so the wound site can't be seen, gesturing he's to get dressed again. I turn to the doctor, standing in front of Izark and hold out my arm, distracting him from Izark.

When I've covered myself again to hide the healing wound, I return to the doctor. "What did you let her do?" I demand quietly, not able to hide the anger brought by the worry.

He finishes tucking in the edges of the wrapping and sighs. "She's very convincing, no?" He rolls down her sleeve and she thanks him. He rubs his head as she leans back in her chair and closes her eyes. She knows this will be a long explanation. I ignore her, then, other than to keep my senses on her so that she can't move or run away.

The newly repoulticed wound is feeling much better, although I hissed in pain when the previous bandage was removed. I relax in my chair, leaning my head back against the top of the back of it. "Sheshe, [Doctor.]" I say as my eyes close.

I'm stunned the longer into his story he goes. "And you really believed her? That this would work?"

He looks a little ashamed. "Well, she was very convincing, and ...I would like to see it come to some fruition. It would be good to reduce the worst suffering of our children and people if it is possible. I would rather have not had her be a sacrifice if it turns out badly, but she was quite adamant that she be allowed the experiment. I would like to hear if it worked and how well.

"There are others like her who may be willing to also experiment. If we could rid the world of even one of the diseases.... And the worst one, that affects older people -- that would be a great benefit if our bodies could learn to fight it before it even became a problem."

The stone in my stomach isn't going away. Altruism is well and good, but Noriko isn't from here. How her body reacts won't be what happens for the rest of us. She's already been very careful with the food and water, not knowing what it will do to her different body. "Does she really want to die so badly?" I ask harshly.

The doctor looks at me in surprise. "No," he answers quietly. "Izark, I understand you're upset by what she's done. Noriko hasn't done this because she doesn't care or wishes to die. She's done this because she wishes to live. She already understood diseases. She said her family died from the adult disease when they came here."

I'm silenced, my eyes going wide. "She was worried, I think, that you were so ill because she'd given something to you from her island. She asked me very carefully for all of the symptoms and when I was done she seemed relieved, that perhaps you were only exhausted like you looked."

I put my hand to my head, almost wanting to cry. If she knew of childhood diseases, that they can be transferred from people to people from far places, then yes, she would have worried that I'd gotten something from her. Not being able to say things clearly is hard for us.

If being able to prevent disease is something her advanced civilization can do, she would have tried it so as to not die in our future from it. But it's still wrong, still not what she should have done. The weight in my gut tells me so. And...it's another thing that makes her different and memorable. If others come seeking one who is odd who may be the Awakening, it's odd enough to make them remember her. And that's what is the worst.

I'll need to finish my job as fast as possible and get us out of here tomorrow, if possible. My strength has returned sufficiently. Resting tonight will be enough. I finally give the doctor a nod and thank him for seeing to us. He needs to see if there are any thieves he can save now. It isn't likely.

I get to hear the explanation of what I did. Izark asks questions, lots of them, it seems to me, then finally summarily sends the doctor off. He's back to angry again -- a cold anger this time. I knew he would, for some reason.

When the door closes behind the doctor, I turn to Noriko. She's waiting for me quietly in her chair. I walk over and put my hands on the back of the chair to either side of her. "Noriko...[no]!" I'm quiet but firm. "You can't use the Teacher to convince others to do strange things that will give you away. You've put us both into danger here in this place by doing that. I don't know what other dangers you've put yourself into." I can't look at her for a moment, my face reacting to the hurt in my heart, the clenching of my gut.

As soon as we're alone, he's got both hands to either side of me on the corners of the back of my chair, and his face is very close to mine. "Noriko...No!" I can tell he wants to rant, and he does for a while, but I can't understand it and don't want to even pretend to translate it. 

The doctor told me he'd written it all down for her, teaching her as he went, what the symptoms were and the treatment, and put the proper herbs together. She has it here, meaning it must be in the bag. She was thorough, not leaving healing to chance, but will it be enough? "If you're different enough, I won't know how to heal you."

I want to cry again and I suddenly realize it's the child in me, that wanted her warm arms around me. That part of me doesn't want to lose her now that she's here. I shiver as fear counters that. It's frightening to want the Awakening by my side when for so long I wanted it as far from me as possible. I bow my head and her hand comes up to touch my cheek gently, trying to comfort the child that cries inside. I freeze, unsure what to do, wanting and not wanting it.

"Izark," she says gently. "Noriko [okay]."

I turn my head away from her sharply and bite my lip. She still can't understand and it's painful and frustrating. How can I teach her not to do this in the future? Unless I say more than I want to, I must be patient until she can understand my language. It will be very hard, I think. I can't let her be alone without me again until then. She doesn't know the power she has.

I lift my hand to his face and touch him gently. "Izark," I say gently, when he freezes in surprise. "Noriko okay." He fiercely turns his head away, biting his lip, his face crunched in a pained, and still angered, look. He looks lost because he can't understand why I would do such a crazy and strange thing.

Noriko sighs and stands up. I back up to let her, not wanting her to move, not wanting her that close. I'm fighting myself again to not take her in my arms to hold her tight enough to kill her as I satisfy both the young child and the angry monster inside. She gently takes my sleeve and pulls me with her to the bed in this room. She puts her knife on the headboard to be close at hand and lies down, not letting me go, the hold feeling like the chain being laid slowly on me merely because she's here.

I sigh and stand up. He has to move back to let me. I take him by the wrist and drag him to the bed with me. I put my knife on the book-case style head board, then crawl into the bed. I'm so tired and the emotions unvented are trying to decide if they're going to just fade or explode. I pull on his arm, and he relents enough to sit next to me on the bed. That's good enough for me.

She tugs until I sit next to her and slowly she slips into sleep, her tears leaking from her eyes. They're my tears as well. I feel defeated tonight. She's protected me, but she's also damaged herself and I'm confused and lost. When she does things that make me feel happy she's here, I'm then shown things that make me wish it all wasn't so. I don't know what to do.

I cry inside with her tears until she's asleep enough I can escape. It's too hard to be by her side tonight, and I'm glad they've given us separate rooms. I can feel her sleeping as I walk down the stairs.

I hold his hand to my cheek, like I'm holding the corner of a favorite blanket. When I've relaxed enough, the tears start leaking out, but thankfully I'm tired enough that it isn't for long. When he leaves, I'm hanging in a doze-like state: too asleep to protest, not quite fully gone yet. 

Somehow, I can feel he's walking down the stairs, standing in the room on the other side of them, then finally lying down in the bed there. Once he is, it's like he's lying in bed with me, his warmth still by my side, and I finally relax enough to slip into the darkness of sleep.

The innkeeper explains that this room they'll give me is one they use when on night shift, waiting for late-night customers. That's good. If the night man comes back while I'm there I can kill him for giving us to the thieves. The demon wants to have a say in what I'm feeling now. Or perhaps it's the part of me that's so determined to not ever be the demon. I can't tell tonight.

I hear the clearing of a throat and don't want what's next. "Well, I think it isn't right that the two of you slept in the same room last night. I know she may not want to be alone, but it isn't right for strangers of opposite sexes to stay in one room."

Like I need the lecture from a man we don't even know when there was only one room in the entire town available. I've already turned my back to him, not wanting him here, fighting the anger that rises, the pain of the child who wants to have her close. "You don't have to worry about it. She's not my type," I say coldly. She's a child, one who can't even understand what she's done.

He's like a fish that flips, wanting back in the river. "What a rude remark! She's pretty enough. What don't you like about her, eh?"

I scowl, but the voice of the doctor sounds next, to my relief. "Mayor, Mayor. You shouldn't raise your voice to him like that. He's still recovering."

"But, he looks so much better now!" the mayor protests.

I look back at them. "You're right. I'm in the recovering stages now. I guess I started to recover during the battle." It happened surprisingly quickly this time. Usually it would have taken another half a day. It's thanks to that I was able to finish the battle with a good result.

"I'm still too weak to go after the thieves who escaped tonight, but there's only one place they could go. Their hideout. Find out about that place from the survivors. I'll be recovered before dawn. I need to complete my assignment." I'm firm on this. We must leave as soon as we can.

They agree and leave me alone to recover. But they only go across the hall to the kitchen to chat and my ears hear them. I want to know what they say so the wind brings me their words. Have we already been too different in their eyes? I lie down while listening, needing the final resting.

"I still want to talk to him," the mayor says.

"Tomorrow," the doctor says to him. 

"Yes, yes. I've been thinking about that girl." The innkeeper's wife gives them some tea and they thank her. "She has no family, right?"

"She said her family died when they came here. He came upon her and she followed him, with nowhere else to go."

"Harumph. She reminds me of my daughter. Years ago she ran away from home with a no-good boy. She died in an accident. That man she ran away with was very handsome. Since then, whenever I see a handsome man, I can't help feeling disgust towards him." I'm not feeling very kindly disposed towards him either. That wasn't my fault.

The mayor returns to his present thoughts. "So, the girl is just a burden for Izark. He's a warrior. That's a hard life of wandering, not fit for a young girl. He could have another battle like tonight's at any time. He can't travel with her forever." They move on to talking about the thieves, but don't mention either of us again for now.

Somehow, in hearing that much, both of my sides have suddenly come to agreement. Noriko will not be staying here. Here is too close to the Sea of Trees. Eventually others will come to investigate more carefully. There are many devious men in high places who want to use me for evil.

The worst one is the evil that wanted me watched over at my parent's manor. That one will also come to the Sea of Trees to see if it can call me back into its clutches. I will not go quietly, and I will not leave the Awakening behind to drag me back to where I do not want to be.

Another early/bonus chapter for my readers. Happy Gregorian New Year! (2024/5)

Chapter Text

I'm awake and feeling recovered. I dress quickly for a morning of fighting, tying my hair back tightly with my bandanna. My belt is snug around me, my knife at my back, and the new sword ready at my side.

People are still here in the inn. It's become a de facto center of activities. Even the mayor is still here keeping company with the doctor. It's before dawn and they've been awake since they were called. I'm actually impressed they care for the village that much. Many leaders don't, only caring for what the position can give them. But as I told them, this is my kind of job.

I want to help those who struggle to do their best and bring positive changes to those who can't do it for themselves, even if the pay is low. I understand that people who want to do their best don't always have the money to pay for the best or even anything good. I'm willing to help those people. I still have to earn something to live, but what they can give is enough, and there are often hidden sources of additional income they haven't thought of. Like whatever is hidden in the thieves' hideout. I expect there to be plenty they can add to my bill once it's recovered.

As I open my door to walk to where they're standing around yet another body, one of the villagers says, "...and then we got the story out of Han and went to Niva's house. That's where we found the leader of the thieves."

Another villager says quietly, "The way he died is weird, isn't it?"

A second villager who went to Niva's house adds, "Niva was already gone, but we got scared and didn't chase him."

I would say that was wise. "I think you did the right thing," the doctor agrees with me. "He was killed the same way those soldiers were. Ordinary men don't have a chance against whoever did this."

I interrupt from where I'm standing at the doorway. "What does the man Niva look like?" They turn to look at me in surprise. "While I'm getting rid of the rest of the thieves, I'll take care of Niva, too."

"We know where they are," the mayor says in his usual boisterous voice. He turns to the innkeeper. "Bring me something to write on!"

"Izark, you're dressed for battle," the doctor comments. "You're recovered?"

"That's right," I tell him as I head for the front door.

The mayor comes rushing up with a hastily drawn map for me. "Oh, hey, wait a minute! We don't have your horse ready yet. This is so sudden." The mayor begins to chivy people into getting a horse ready for me. I don't need a horse, but I won't tell him. He wants to be helpful and I don't want to seem any stranger than we already have.

I pause to look up the stairs towards Noriko's bedroom. I can feel her, that she's sleeping. The wind also lets me know she's still there. I won't let this take any longer than it has to. I hope she'll behave today while I'm gone. I wish I knew how to tell her how dangerous it is to use her powers as a Teacher here. She may worry when she finds me gone, but she needs her sleep. The innkeeper will tell her where I've gone. I ignore the little boy in me that's promising her I'll be back soon.

Dawn arrives as I'm arriving at the place below where the thieves have their hideout. It's up in the cliff face where we fell from, but at a farther distance from the village, so I've had to come a long ways. I guess it was okay to have the horse do that much running for me. I leave it tethered to a tree and begin the climb to their hideout, jumping from outcrop to higher outcrop.

I land up on the top of the mountain here and look around, check the map, and continue on. I hear them and smell them when I'm getting close. They've laid a trap for me and are waiting. "That dog. He's here."

"Hmph. We can beat him with our trap." 

I continue forward until I sense the trap laid for me. From behind me comes a steel net, weighted around the edges. It lands on me, but I keep my feet. "We got him!"

"We did it! That's a steel net! You can't even cut it with a sword." Four men come out from hiding, rushing me. 

"Pull him down with the net! He's helpless." Again, they've made assumptions.

I grab the net in my hands and call on my fire energy to melt the links, and on my strength to tear the net apart in front of me. The net falls off me to lie on the ground, the broken links falling to clink against the steel of the net. The thieves skid to a halt in fear. "Thank you for saving me the trouble of having to hunt you down." 

"This can't be happening!"

"But - but that's a steel net!"

I head for them. They swear. I move fast and they jump and try to run. Their swords are out from before, but I don't draw mine. This time I can be in control. When I'm in control I use hand-to-hand strength attacks. They're similar to energy attacks, but it's more the use of the strength of what I am than using the energy I can control. When I'm weak the energy comes out. It doesn't have to this time.

The four men are on the ground, incapacitated before they can run three steps. Fist and foot blows faster than they could see rained down on them and now they're groaning. "Save your breath and don't bother moving," I say to them. It will hurt less if they stay still. "I have a question for you. Do you know a merchant named Niva?"

"Sure," says a new, prideful voice from above me. I turn quickly. I didn't sense this person at all. Long blond hair and greedy eyes that look at me. Not the greed for money, but for something else. He wants me for something. "He's my boss. In fact, he's waiting for me at the hideout. ...Waiting to hear I've killed you."

Ah. He wants my death. One who loves the power of winning in battle. I've come across a few, but none have been able to best me, even at only this strength. "Have you been here all this time?" I ask him. He admits it. Usually they're prideful enough to talk before engaging. He isn't ordinary, the wind now tells me. He can hide his presence from even the wind. I'll be wary. He's likely the one who can use energy attacks. People like that -- like me -- are very rare. 

"Was it you who killed the thieves' boss at Niva's house?" I ask him, to confirm it. They're often boastful as well.

"That's right," he answers easily.

The thieves on the ground aren't happy with that answer at all. "What did he say?"

"You son of a.... You called us out here saying you had a message from our boss!"

The man above me leaps down from his high perch on the rocks. "I just wanted to see what the man I'm going to kill was like." He lands lightly, like I would. I stay wary. "By the way, I heard you were hurt."

"Maybe they got it wrong," I answer.

"I guess so. You were pretty good. You finished four big guys in no time. But --" I sense a gathering of energy. He isn't going to waste time. His hand comes up as if he's preparing to shove me over from the distance we are apart. He actually does plan on it, but it will be a strong ball of energy that hits me. "-- you won't beat me."

When I wake up, it feels cold. Like the panther that had been my warmth and protection through the night has left to prowl. It makes me feel nervous and I can't stay in bed.

My wound is feeling better this morning. Yesterday by evening it was itchy and each movement that stretched the scab hurt. Today it feels wrapped just tightly enough and like it's sealing much better. I'm not sure what to do about the bloodied sleeve of my underdress. It's the only dress I own, after all, and I don't even own it. Izark does. 

I pause. Is that was why he was so angry I cut myself and put myself in danger? Does he own me, because he's been taking care of me? Or perhaps even because he found me in the forest? ...It doesn't seem likely. I haven't seen anything that looks like slavery yet. Just normal people trying to get by in life, and some who do it the wrong way.

There are things to do today, and because I want to hide the nervous feeling that's brought on by the sense of cold, I head out to do them. The first stop is the kitchen where the innkeeper's wife immediately brings me my tea and roll. This time she asks if I'd like jam. I'm interested and it doesn't smell too bad, so I add that to the morning's menu. I don't let her leave, though. I ask for Izark's bag. It's got my things in it, too, and I need it.

I pull out the paper the doctor gave me and pantomime for a pen and ink. She's on it. The doctor probably told her, and likely everyone else that was coming and going last night, how to communicate with me. When we come up for air, I've made her laugh. I understand the what but not the how and she can't figure it out. She seems to put it down to me coming from a very strange, very far away island.

Like, in my world, pads are sticky and a woman's best friend. The way the women dealt with periods back before then has been completely forgotten, and for the better according to everyone on my planet. I'm still in agreement with that theory. Here, I have to wear a string belt, and a long narrow ‘pad' of cloth and tie it to the string, front and back? Seriously? Not! I dig into my bag.

If I've been brought here to bring tiny changes to this planet, by gum I'm going to make this change. Every woman on the planet will thank me. I can't introduce temporary sticky gums. I'm not that sophisticated. But I can introduce safety pins. I know blacksmithing is an art and science in the middle ages, and all the handles and knockers on the doors, and hinges, are metal. There isn't a lot of it, but it exists.

I carefully open my emergency kit inside Izark's bag so she doesn't see it and pull out one of the three safety pins. They're all of a sudden worth more than the two pads to me, so I'm very careful with them. It's the first time I've dug through Izark's bag, and I feel a little self-conscious, like I'm going through his dresser, but I need.... Ah, there it is. I pull out a second bandanna. Thought he'd have an extra!

I show the innkeeper's wife the safety pin, carefully showing her how to open and close it. Then I take Izark's bandanna and fold it so it isn't too thick for the pin, place it on the skirt of my overdress and show her how to pin the two together. She looks at it in amazement, carefully studying it. Her eyes go calculating and I can see she wants one as badly as I do now. She even asks if she can have one. I'm firm. No.

But I do trace it, then draw a larger one, and continue on to draw what the point casing looks like. Half-way through the drawing she's jumped up and run to the door, then called out and come back, her eyes excited. We're in the middle of talking about how I clean the cloths, and clothes in general -- and again she thinks I'm really weird for not knowing how -- when the door to the inn opens and a man walks in.

Ah, that's who I was hoping to see! He's a blacksmith by burly arms, singed apron, and smell of sulfur coal. I grin at him and the innkeeper's wife is grinning just as big. He looks at us both suspiciously. The innkeeper's wife draws for me that he's her cousin and I greet him politely, then motion him over to come and see my drawing. He looks at it closely and he and she talk a fast blue streak for a bit. He wants to know if he can see the pin directly. I hold up my finger, then try to decide how to say it.

It takes another piece of paper, but by the time we're done, we have a pictographic contract. I let him know the secrets of the safety pin and he makes me one hundred, payable when I can get back here next. For every ten he sells, he makes two for me.

It's going to be hard. He can't roll their metal quite that thin and I'm suspicious it won't be flexible enough until he's done some metallurgical experimentation. Most of the metal he works with looks like the hard, brittle cast iron. Ah, but...swords, that's another metal altogether.

I finally let him see the pin and how it really works. He explores it in detail, asking why the loop at the end. I pinch the open pin to show it's a spring. He gets it. They must use springs in wagons, then. Our trip here had seemed that way. The bumps weren't too harsh. Then I point to the door handle and shake my head. I pull out my knife and waggle my hand. Close enough. He looks between the two metals, then nods like he's got an idea.

I make sure I've got my precious pin back, and in the emergency kit before he leaves, letting him take the plans and a proper copy of the contract with both of our signatures on both copies. They seemed surprised I'd required that. I might be young. I'm not stupid.

Everyone with a boy band crush understands contracts and what happens when they fall through and your favorite gets lost just because of bad paperwork. I date it, too, although with my numbers. I'll have to look up their numbers when I can get out the dictionary in private. Need to memorize numbers faster.

It sounded like the innkeeper's wife placed an order on her cousin's way out the door, too. The safety pin method won't be perfect, but if it gets rid of the damn rope around the middle of the body, it's a massive improvement. She takes off while I'm putting things away and arrives five minutes later with a handful of cloth pads for me and a wooden box of laundry soap. "Sheshe," I say gratefully.

She pats me on the head with a smile and I smile back. They're free. I just gave her the best present ever ...if her cousin can make it work. Now, there's just one other problem I need to take care of. I went to put my phone in Izark's bag while she was gone, and it isn't in my waistband, nor on my person at all, and I'm panicking.

While she's there, I search through Izark's bag again and fake extreme distress that I can't find something. I beg her to let me go back to the original room we were in to look for it. She is kindly helpful and we go up there together, me carrying the bag with. I'm starting to get even more nervous. Something isn't right with Izark. I can't shake that feeling. Moving is all I can do to combat it. 

We get up to the room and I search first under Izark's bed. Sure enough, I'd kicked it all the way to the back corner when I'd moved to protect myself. I wiggle my way under the bed, collect the cell phone, and shove it inside my dress. The waistband will hold it in for now, when I stand up. I manage to find a few coins as well and collect them. Hey, Link always finds rupees under beds, right?

When I come back out, I show her the coins. [Is that what you were looking for?] I shake my head sadly. She closes my hand around the coins. Yes! I'm Link!

I glance at my bed, but she shakes her head, having looked there while I was looking under Izark's. Nothing. I search the room generally, then look out the window, then shrug. It could have been lost anywhere out there. She pats my shoulder consolingly and we go back out of the room. She's cleaned up the blood already, as best she could, but the floor is still stained darkly. It isn't helping my worry for Izark.

"Izark?" I ask, letting the worry out and holding the bag tightly to me. She starts to talk fast again, then stops and just motions for me to go with her. We reach the table we've been "talking" at and she draws, though not well, until I understand he's gone after the rest of the bandits and will be back when he's done. I ask how long it should take and she asks her husband. After a bit, they decide it isn't time to worry yet. I bite my lip, but nod and thank them, making an excuse to flee to my room.

I fish out my phone and dump it into the bottom of Izark's bag. I really need a bag of my own. I'd rather he not find it. I fish it back out again and put it where it belongs in my waistband. Maybe I can ask him to get me a bag before we leave town. I'd love to get more paper -- a blank book if possible -- and ink and pen, so I can have them out to use in public. While I'm making up a shopping list, I put the chair from last night in the window of the room, sit down on it, and hold Izark's bag in my lap like a comfort pillow again.

They said there were only four bandits and maybe a couple more. It shouldn't be taking him this long, unless they're a long ways away from here. He'd been given a horse to ride. He can probably run faster than one if he's got his strength back properly; although, I'd rather he not use it up again just after he got better. He's crazy to have gone after them just after recovering, really. Although..., I guess he wouldn't want them to get away with the loot.

I put up both of my hands to block the incoming energy with a shield of my own. His blow has enough force behind it to actually pick me up and throw me aside. The tree behind me falls and I crash into the side of the cliff that was near it and fall into the underbrush. 

The man I'm fighting mutters to himself. I let him come closer. Even in battles like this, small moments of recovery are still useful. "He flew sideways! Did I miss him? I must have landed at least one or two of my distant blows on him." Ah, that's why it was so powerful. It really was multiple fast attacks in a row. He wasn't taking any chances either. "At least some of his ribs must have been --"

I rise to my feet, not wanting him too close. "You have great power. An ordinary man would be dead instantly if he were struck by that." It's my warning.

Instead he becomes angry that I appear uninjured. He's too prideful. "You swine. You're still standing?" He immediately unleashes another barrage.

This time I leap out of the way. I stood still the first time to understand how powerful he is. I reach for my sword. I much prefer using my sword when I do energy attacks. It allows me to control the energy better. "Now it's my turn."

I head for him, swinging my sword. I let loose just as much energy as it would have taken for me to put down a normal strong opponent. He acts like he didn't feel it. He's leaping backwards as I push strongly against the earth to run at him faster than most men can run. He's able to keep ahead of me, but I'm pressing him. 

He yells at me in frustration. "Don't make a fool of me!" A strong energy blast comes at me from both of his hands, but I've changed my shield's shape. It cuts through his attack, sending it around me. He stares at me confused, not understanding why nothing happened to me.

I prepare my next higher level energy attack, gathering it in my hand. He draws his own sword, swearing again. I hold the energy for now and send it through the sword to defend against his sword blow. That's just as strong as mine. He also can direct the energy through his weapon.

I keep him on the defensive, testing him with every blow, to see if he can keep up with my speed. He's good enough to keep up with me. That's rather impressive. I stay on my guard. He may show me something new.

Our energy blows slam against each other again and again. I can feel the force being deflected by my shield. Much of it is going down into the ground because we're standing on it. There's a different feel to the earth suddenly. My foot shifts at his blow, the ground collapsing under it.

I'm distracted enough by the effect that he gets a hand free and slams me with a direct energy attack to my head. Because we've been in close sword combat, the energy blows me back again, like his first series of blows did.

I do a back-flip to land on my feet again. It didn't hurt me much. My shields held, but the force against it was more than my feet could grip the earth. My opponent cries out in surprise.

Now that we're separated I can hear a river far below us, the moisture from it coming on the air. That would be a long way to fall. It's likely the same river Noriko and I were on underground, but here it's come up to the surface.

I'm taking too long. I'd like to finish this now. "It'll take all I have to deal with you." I collect all the energy I can hold, allowing myself to transform just enough to gather even a little more, since he already has dealt well with all I can give and not transform. "haaah!" I send the energy at him.

He raises his arms in front of him, understanding that this is another level completely. The energy slams into him and he cries out, "arrgh!" He's blown back many feet and I walk towards him to see what he'll do next. He rolls off his back and pushes to his hands and knees.

"You're as good as I thought you would be. You're not very hurt," I say to him.

He rises to his feet, already nearly exhausted protecting himself from that last blow. He's quite angry, one who can't lose. Those are the worst kind. They won't stay down, have to kill or be killed. "I don't want to hurt you, but you are quite the adversary. If I leave you wounded, I'll be sorry some day. I'm sorry, but I have to finish you off." I'd really rather not, but it's a sad truth I've learned.

Suddenly his expression changes and he looks up at me in wonder. "It's you. Now I get it! It's you!" He points at me and cries out, "You're the one who took the Awakening from the Sea of Trees!"

What?! As I try to comprehend what he's just said, part of me desperate to kill if he knows that, or even just suspects it, the ground beneath us begins to crumble and an entire point of the cliff face slides down the mountain towards the river below us. That final energy blow of mine was too much for the ground under us. We made it unstable and we're falling.

I was closer to the edge and he's now above me in the air. Above him I see a faint shadow of a giant hand reach down from the sky and wrap itself around the man who was my opponent and they both fade and disappear. Then I'm crashing into the pieces of earth that crashed just before I did, and I'm buried by even more. My energy shield protects me from being crushed, but I lie stunned for a time.

What did he mean? The soldiers were killed by him. Was he one of those sent into the Sea of Trees? Did he see the dead flower insects? They were very tough to kill and took both energy and my strength. He would've understood what it meant for them to be sliced into pieces, then. I close my eyes. I've also left behind evidence that damages us. And now he's seen my face.

How I wish I could have killed him. Why did the cliff have to fall? I was only one step away from doing so. And..., what was that hand? Who's rescued him? Is that a sign of the one who wants me most? I hope with everything I am that they didn't see me, didn't understand who I am. They took him. He'll likely talk and want to fight me again to win. Those kind come back again and again.

I shiver with a chill that goes deeply into my bones and I'm changing, my fingers turning into claws as I draw on the most strength I'm willing to call for. The rocks fall away from above me and I'm rising to my feet to climb out of the rock fall. With one leap I'm back up on the top of the cliff face. I'm glad we moved far enough away from the initial confrontation with the thieves so that they can't see me. It takes me some time to calm down enough to have the changes fade from me again.

Once they have, I'm quick to find Niva. He's a weak heavyset man who loves power. I tie him up and the other men and take a few bags of coin for myself as extra payment. The villagers won't know what was here and won't begrudge me the extra pay. None of us can get it back to who it was stolen from anyway.

Leaving the five men tied in the cave, I hurry back to Calco. But before I go, I ask one question to Niva. "What was the name of the strong man you hired?"

Niva gives me a nasty look. "It looks like he tried to give as good as he got, or you got lucky. He said his name was Keimos."

I lean on the bag and sigh, looking out the window for Izark like a puppy left at home alone. Suddenly, I realize the warmth of his presence is returning and I sit up, looking for him, like the puppy who can sense the owner is just about home. When I see him, I stand upright in shock and the bag in my lap drops to the floor. Good thing I didn't leave the phone in the bottom of it. That would have cracked the screen for sure.

The worries swirl in my head as I ride back into Calco. People are muttering as I pass them, but I'm not paying attention to them. As I come around the corner to see the inn, I can sense Noriko is there, watching and waiting for me. The wind says she's waiting at the window of the room she stayed in last night. I see motion as we get closer, and then there's suddenly a loud cry. Noriko is leaning out of the window and as if she's a fisherman's wife she's already scolding me before we're even together again. 

"Izark!" I'm yelling in horrified worry and scolding at the same time, leaning out of the open window. "What the hell'd you do this time!? Can't you keep your clothes from getting ruined for even one day? Don't you know how much effort goes into making them? And that was a nice outfit, too." He's staring at me open mouthed as he rides up, not sure he wants to be admitting he knows this crazy person.

I stand up on the ledge of the window and he panics. By the time I'm half-way to the ground, he's lept forward and caught me. He sets me on the ground and starts to lecture me, but I grab his jacket front and lecture back, pointing to his torn sleeve, the ragged hem of his jacket, and all the holes.

My mouth hangs open as I stare at her like every other person on the street is. This isn't what I want. How can I get her to hide when she must be so publicly obvious? And then, to my poor eyes and heart's almost incomprehension, she's climbing to stand in the window and ...jumping out?!

Without even knowing I've done it, I'm off the horse and in the air to catch her, landing and putting her on the ground. "Noriko!" I scold back. "Don't do that! Not only are you yelling in public, you aren't being yourself. What are you doing?"

Noriko has hold of my jacket front and she hasn't stopped scolding either. She points to my sleeve: it's torn to pieces. She points to the hem of my jacket. It's ragged and I didn't even know. All of my clothes are full of holes from the falling rocks. It's no wonder Niva gave me such a look. Both of us have made more of a scene than I can bear. No one in Calco will ever forget us now.

I'm pulling him to me and hiding my head in his chest and the tears and sobs won't quit. All of yesterday, last night, and the worry of today finally pour out. Sigh. What a water fountain I am. His hand on my head is warm, though, until he pushes me away and I see he's completely embarrassed. Oh, dear. A public display. What have I done?

And true to herself, Noriko is pulling me by my jacket until her head is buried in my chest and her tears flood out of her as she sobs. The Teacher and the water fountain all at once. I sigh at her, irritated, but also understanding. She still has all of last night to cry out still, too, as well as whatever worries her imagination and my clothing have given her. I put my hand on her head, but we can't stay out here in public to continue making this strange scene.

I can't stop the tears, but I do get the sobs under control. "[Sorry, Izark.]" He sighs, takes my wrist and pulls me into the inn again, me stumbling because I can't see through the tears. He walks slowly, though, at my pace. 

I push Noriko away and she quickly understands, also going to embarrassment with me. But the damage is done. The innkeeper's wife stands in the doorway glaring at me, her eyes also taking in my clothing. Behind her the mayor and doctor have come to see what the fuss is. My face flushes even more and Noriko is apologizing to me through her tears.

I take her wrist in my hand and pull her into the inn. The innkeeper's wife moves out of the way to let us in and closes the door behind us. I put my hands on Noriko's shoulders. "Sorry, Noriko. I'm okay," I say to calm her and everyone else who is glaring at me.

I want him to run his fingers through my hair and kiss me. I duck my head and nod instead, the reaction embarrassing even to me. I turn away from him, suddenly very sad. I don't even know if I'll get to see him again after today.

I release Noriko to face the others. The innkeeper's wife is first. I'm scolded by another woman for destroying my clothes when Noriko was already worried for me all morning. When I've finally pacified her, it's the Mayor's turn to scold me in his loud voice. As usual, he can't believe that I survived if I look like this, nor can he believe I've defeated the thieves until I pull out a broach that I brought as proof. I also suggest that they send men to collect Niva and the remaining thieves. That will tell them more than any words of mine.

After the mayor has huffed and puffed and the doctor has put out his steam, he does send men in a wagon to collect the thieves and the treasures of the hideout. I can finally do what I need to do next. I ask for my bag and they tell me that Noriko's been keeping it for me. I look at her, but she isn't looking at me and her face is unhappy still. She's also perhaps holding it in until we're alone. I sigh to myself and ask her for my bag with signs.

She nods and leads me up the stairs to her room. I close the door behind us as she moves to pick up the bag from where it sits under the window. Noriko only looks out that window sadly as I pull out another set of clothing and change out of the now-rags. I sigh about that, too. I just bought those from the merchant and am back to little clothing.

I'm counting up the cost of what must be bought before we can go and the 5,000 zol won't be enough. I was hoping to save what I obtained from the hideout for while we're on the road. We'll need to stay out of sight for some time so that whoever comes looking for us here can't follow us.

The doctor and his friend have come into the inn, the friend being loud again. He's being talked back down by the innkeeper's wife this time, a bit scolding, and she scolds Izark as well. They all talk a bit and I listen, trying to get the flow of general conversation and the sounds of the words into my head. Then Izark is asking for his bag to change his clothes. I nod and lead him up the stairs, back to the room I slept in, the one I jumped out of the window of.

As he goes through his bag to find clothes he can wear -- I wonder if he has any more? It's not a bag of holding, after all, although we've put a lot in there. -- I'm reminded of what I've done with leaping out a window and I want to bang my head on a wall. Not only was it a stupid thing to do in the first place, it made him show the village he had the ability to move fast and jump high, and land without hurting us. Idiot, I tell myself, just use the stairs next time.

"Izark," I wave at the window, "[I'm sorry.]" I can't look at him again, but I'm feeling miserable. He finishes wrapping his belt around his waist. I wasn't even paying attention to him change, I realize with a start. He's quiet, not looking at me either. "Izark," "Noriko," we say at the same time.

I close my mouth and bite my lip, putting my hands together in front of my skirt. I bow slightly and wait for him to continue, still not looking up at him, although I'm facing him as best I can, feeling like the puppy that's about to get a well deserved scolding.

As I begin to buckle my belt on, Noriko finally turns to face me. "Izark," she waves at the window half-heartedly. "I'm sorry." Still she can't look at me and I can see she's feeling miserable now. It was surely impulse, but I can't understand it even still. She fought me so hard at the top of the cliff. What's changed?

Not looking at her either, I finish clasping my belt trying to know how to face her. "Noriko," I start hesitantly, but stop. She said my name at the same time. I wait. She bows a small bow, clasping her hands in front of her, and bites her lip. "Noriko, I'm sorry you were worried. I needed to finish that job. I was never in danger from that. But someone knows who we are and that we're here. Soon others will come looking for us. We must leave and stay away from people."

I pause, then ask, but it isn't really to her, "Can you please not make others look at you so much? It scares me that they may learn things they shouldn't." I know she can't understand me. Maybe while we're hiding she'll learn enough for me to explain it to her.

He can't hold his words in, but they aren't scolding -- at least I don't think they are. If they are it's a very gentle scolding. It sounds more like an explanation. He pauses and I finally look up, trying to understand. I have to see his face to get even a sense of what he's talking about.

I wait for her. When she has the courage to look into my face again, I say words I know she can understand. "Tomorrow, Noriko Izark go." I'll have to wait for the villagers to go that distance and come again before I'll be paid. It's longer than I want, but I have no choice. If we have to we can run and leave the payment behind.

My heart stops and then leaps. I try to keep it under control. "Wh-what?" I'm blinking fiercely, trying to understand if I've heard right. "Noriko [go] with Izark?" 

It's as if she thought I would leave her here in anger for her behavior, or it's part of her worry of the morning, that I was gone and wouldn't come back. My expression softens in compassion again. I don't hate her, and I wouldn't have been so cruel as to have left her here without saying something. She doesn't know that I can't let her leave my side yet and I still don't want to tell her why. I nod. "Tomorrow," I promise.

I drop my face into my hands and sob again, so hard I sink to my knees, my head bowed over my knees. "Sheshe, Izark."

I look out the window, my heart trying to not hurt with her so much. She's been stolen from her family for only three days. It must have been very hard to think that the only person she's relied on for that long to live in this very strange place was going to walk out of her life. I can't afford to feel that compassion: some day I will.

Chapter Text

When the mayor and I walked out that early morning to go get the horse and so he could point out the direction I needed to go to find the hideout, we passed the graveyard. We paused to watch. I couldn't hold back the murmur that I wish I'd been well enough so they hadn't had to die.

The mayor had actually been quiet at that comment. I turned to him and told him that I'd be taking Noriko back to the coast and perhaps back to her home island, in the hopes she still had family there to take care of her. He agreed with me that would be best for her as well. It's not like I need to have his approval, but leaving behind other people's regrets and worries unmet can lead to unexpected consequences later.

Later as evening was approaching, I received a message from him that he wanted to speak with me the next morning. He hasn't paid me yet, so it's likely about that, now that I've already addressed the other concern on his mind. I hope it means that the villagers have arrived with the things from the bandit's cave. It seems a little quick because the distance to travel is so far and there was a lot to be collected up. Maybe he's just thinking ahead, planning for his next day.

It's not until the innkeeper is excited as he sets our dinner down on the table in his common room that I think it's a bit more than that. "Everyone's looking forward to tomorrow night!" His eyes sparkle in his exuberance. "The wife wants me to ask if Noriko has any other outfits she can wear?"

I shake my head. "Until the Mayor pays me, I can't afford any more."

"Mm, mm," he nods thoughtfully while looking at Noriko's dress. The arm of the sleeve is still spotted with blood, but it looks like she did try to wash it out somewhat while I was gone. "I'll let the wife know, then." He leaves us to our dinner. I'm left to wonder what the villagers are hatching. I'm not sure I want more delays.

After dinner that night, I take Izark with me for my language study time. He gives me a look that says he'd really rather not be entering my bedroom in this place, now that we have separate ones, but I glare at him and make him come anyway. He knows I can't show the world my notebooks and I need them for the study. He can sit in the chair. I sit on the bed and hold my notebook in my lap.

I'm really tired of sounding like a small child. Tonight I bug him to teach me whole sentences in the casual way of anyone talking to anyone else. Preferably with intelligence. "Noriko go Doctor" doesn't work when it could be "I'd like to go to see the Doctor," "I'm going with the Doctor," or "I'm dating the Doctor." For all they seem so small, all the particles are rather important and pronouns are advanced language skills. We work out a way for him to know when I want to hear the full sentence again, not just a word.

A large yawn overtakes me and I realize I've filled almost seven pages. That's a little more than the merchant filled up with me. I hope we haven't been at this for over three hours. Izark frowns at me and I wave a hand of I'm giving up at him. The notebooks and pen go back in his bag. I sigh and ask with what I've got if he can get one for me. He nods in agreement. Like it's better for us to be in separate rooms, it's better for me to have my own bag. 

As I stretch out my legs, it's my turn to frown. I hesitate to ask the question, but I'm very much done with being in town. "Izark," I speak slowly, trying to remember tonight's words, "[can we go tomorrow morning?]" That was a simple enough sentence I could get the whole of it out.

It looks like he'd like to say yes, but he eventually sighs and shakes his head. He brings the forefingers of each hand together. "[I have to word word in the morning.]" I'll take the one to mean meet. The other one is probably a person's name or title. I sigh. He does too and adds, "[And tomorrow night]," he waves his hand helplessly as he glances out the window, "[Calco wants]...." I don't get the rest of that sentence but I can guess. He helped them immensely in getting rid of the bandits. Likely they want to throw a feast of celebration.

I slump. There's no way to refuse that, for all I want to just be done and back out with just the two of us. I don't know why I do, but it feels like I might be getting a bit depressed. Or maybe there've been just a few too many negative things that have happened here and I'd like to get away from those memories. Maybe one more day of not much to do with a happier activity at the end of the day will be okay, for all I'm not sure I have the energy for it. Maybe it's a bit of needing to recover a little more from a night of little sleep and high adrenaline.

Which brings up the point I've kept us up too late tonight. I open my door and say, "[Thank you, Izark,]" most humbly. I'm very grateful he's been patient with my drive to learn tonight. "Maybe tomorrow morning I'll sleep in." I decide to right then. There shouldn't be anything to prevent it.

That makes me shiver, though, and I reach out and grab the back of his jacket as he's passing me. He pauses and I shiver again. I whisper the next question at him. "Will we be okay tonight?"

He looks over his shoulder at me and must recognize my expression. It wouldn't be hard to guess I'd have a reaction. He puts his hand on top of my head and gently answers me. [It will be okay, Noriko. I'm next door and will hear anything.] When I can take a deep breath and let his jacket go, he continues on. I close the door softly behind him and put myself to bed. A long uninterrupted sleep is what I very much need right now, and on a soft bed is better than on the ground, for all I still want to flee from my fears from last night.

While I don't want to add to any rumors already going around, nor tread on the sensibilities of parental-types in town, I'm not very surprised Noriko wants me to help her study her words after dinner. Nor am I very surprised when she focuses so hard on it she loses track of time.

Learning she wants to know all the little words so she can sound intelligent is very much like her. And will let everyone know even more about the Teacher. I have to sigh at her for that. Letting the Teacher loose by giving her even more words others can understand is likely very dangerous. I'm careful to not give her any more than she asks for. It's the only way I can think of to curb her at all.

A large yawn from her means I can make her stop. She gives in quickly. After her notebook and pen are in the bag again she hesitates, then asks, with her new words, "Can we leave in the morning?" She's already asked me earlier if we'd be leaving this evening. I have to tell her no and about my meeting. Then, because I'm pretty sure she'll ask to leave as soon as that's done I warn her, "And tomorrow night Calco's villagers want to have us stay for dinner, I think." She slumps unhappily but understands.

She looks very pale and tired, but I want her to be. She needs to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep here in this room by herself tonight. It won't be easy with last night's events to worry her. I also need to sleep another night with her not in the room in order to be able to rest.

Just as I'm about to leave the room, she catches hold of the back of my jacket. Her whispered words of worry make me sigh in sorrow with her. It will be hard. I promise her I'll be listening and will make sure we're both okay. When she can let go with a deep breath, I leave. Once again she takes another step forward of courage. She doesn't fling open the door and beg, nor does she come to my room in tears later that night. I hope we're both able to rest both tonight and tomorrow night. We'll be on the road for what I expect to be a long time.

Izark's gone to his meeting by the time I wake up the next morning. I carry paper down with me when I go. The innkeeper's wife lights up to see me, welcoming me and bringing me tea and a roll. The meat smells good today so I drop my papers off on the table and follow her back into the kitchen. It looks like a salted ham. I ask if I can have one slice. Something more solid would be good, and I suspect the salt is what I'm really craving.

She happily carves off a slice for me and hands me the plate and a knife and fork. I ask if she has some time to help me with words while she works, promising I won't take up lots of time. I've picked a simple thing to learn today that can be stopped anytime. I do have a purpose to it, though. I work hard to get across that I want to know about professions and their related verb: a painter paints, a baker bakes, a fisherman catches fish. That sort of thing. Putting those together will help me learn both the verb and the noun. 

While I eat I ask for a profession by pantomime, indirect description, or drawings. She tells me the profession and then the verb. She tells me a few she feels important. We've, of course, started with her own and her husband's, although the verb for what an innkeeper does isn't quite so simple, as it's a full phrase we have fun working out. Eventually I ask about the soldiers that were in the inn the first night and morning we were in Calco. A soldier fights, soldiers fight. (I'm getting plural combinations as I go if I can get her to slow down enough.)

Then I ask her for the sub-details by asking if Izark is also a [soldier], since he [fights]. She shakes her head and comes to the table to draw. Soldiers fight for a nation. "[Oh, but...,]" she tips her head then works out how to tell me that there is one nation that isn't the same. After a bit I work out my best equivalent would be "mercenary". Then the innkeeper's wife gives me a knowing look and gives me two words and says that's what Izark and others like him are: lone fighters who work for individuals or small groups for pay.

I ask for the direct definitions of the two words and it's rather simple. She walks two fingers around on the table in a meander for the first word. [Wandering]. Then she says the second word, which isn't [soldier] or [mercenary] and waves an invisible sword. So likely a wandering warrior. They all [fight]. I thank her and we move on to the next profession. But I'm glad to know now. Now I can tell people what Izark is if I get asked, and I've had confirmed for me what I suspected.

The only thing I'm earning here is pins. That's not something I can pay Izark with. I'll need to keep my eyes open for opportunities to earn coin. It isn't right for him to lose money taking care of me just because he happened to run into me. I should at least give him professional courtesy if I can.

My mind is caught by a thought. Right when I needed a wandering warrior, one was present for me so I didn't die in the forest. Right when I needed clothing so I could enter the village without drawing attention, we fell almost on top of one. Why? Why would things like that be given to me right when I need them? Is it part of what or who brought me here to begin with? Were they/was it helping me? And, I suppose, here's an innkeeper's wife who's willing to help teach me the important early things I need to know. I'm grateful, but I can't help but wonder why?

A group of three women and two teen girls enter the inn, chatting happily. The innkeeper's wife is happy to see them. Then all their attention turns to me. I swallow and stiffen a little. The innkeeper's wife introduces me to them and tells me to go with them, that they're there to help me. I excuse myself to take my study papers up to the room and return, not so sure what's going on. I bring one page and a charcoal stick with me in case I need to communicate with more than gestures and the very little words I know.

They take me out of the inn and head down the streets, still chatting with each other. One of the mother-sorts asks me if I have any other dresses. I shake my head. She's very sympathetic about my (made up) past. I thank her for her condolences on my family member's deaths. I'm thinking this might be something the village women have cooked up because I no longer have a mother to take care of me.

We end up at a stream outside of the village in a secluded area. Soaps come out of baskets. So do towels. I'm suddenly very interested. While the water's likely cold, I really would love a bath. Even if they just give me practice in washing clothing it would be a good enough lesson. It turns out to be both. 

Not only do I get cleaned, and my clothes, they teach me all the detailed words that go along with clothing and washing. I'm definitely going to remember the words for washing me. Going on five and more days of not bathing and I've reached my limit. I'm very glad when they say I can take the bars of shampoo, conditioner, and body soap with me. (It's all bars here, no liquid soaps, although they said there are very expensive liquid soaps used by nobles). Then I get to learn the word [more].  "[How many more dresses would you like?]" is one of their first question. 

I ponder on that, then say, "[One.]" I'm glad I've been practicing the numbers every day at least twice per day. When they're a little dismayed, I reassure them that it's because Izark is a [wandering warrior]. We can't carry much with us as we travel. I'm slightly dramatically sad as I say that I don't even have my own bag to carry things in, so what I take has to fit with his things in his. That gets them firm spines and they nod to each other. If that gets me a free bag, I won't complain. Izark won't have to pay for one, then. 

They let me off the hook for having to take more than one more dress than the one I have. That one's hanging on the ropes they've tied between trees for clothes drying. We're all wearing shifts to keep ourselves somewhat modest as we wait for things to dry. They drag me over to where one mother and daughter pair have been working. Lying on the grass are five dresses. They point to them and ask me which one I like. I'm a bit flabbergasted they'd offer. I wave my hands in negation and let them know I can't pay. They glare at me as if I've offended them so I give in and look at the dresses more closely.

There are two pretty ones, one that really draws my attention. It's too much, though, for hiking through woods, so after I've admired it I turn to the other three. They're all nice, but one seems most practical in colors and design. I select that one. It still has a few nice details to it that I like. They pull it out and fold it and set it aside. Then they take me to the next waiting set of clothing. 

That's where I start learning the words for [underwear], [bra], [shift], and the like. "[How many more....]" becomes a repeated and thus learned phrase. I tell them I'd love [three more] pairs of under garments, each. Two more shifts and one or two more underdresses, although one is going to be more clothing than we might want in any bag. Three or four more pairs of socks.

I'll worry about more shoes later when the ones I'm wearing wear out. However, I do ask if there are thicker shoes for long term walking. These little cloth ones really aren't going to hold up to hiking, I think. They say there's a [cobbler who makes shoes] (continuing my morning lesson) in town. They'll make sure he and I talk later.

Out of the corner of my eye, I've been watching them add what I've said I want to the pile the first dress is in. Are the village women really going to see I'm clothed, all on their own? It's very kind of them and I blush a little. It's nice, and slightly uncomfortable, to be taken care of like this. Perhaps it's not just an innkeeper's wife here to help me, but the whole of Calco village. By the time I leave here, I'll be set, save for the coin. It's okay for that to come later.

I wonder what I can do for them. Maybe I can do little, but if being kind is something that helps others like it's helping me, then I can do that. Surely there will be little opportunities all the time everywhere I go. I resolve to remember it as my payment to these who won't receive it themselves, most likely.

I walk out of the meeting with the Mayor with a heavy pouch. Five gold's worth of small coins is rather a lot. Not much when it comes to having to buy things, but a lot heavier than my almost-empty pouch for the last month. (Not that it's hard to carry. I just pay attention to the weight of my coin pouch so I know when it's time to find work again.) The Mayor leads me to the back warehouse of the village store. "Here's Izark. See he gets what he needs," he says to the shopkeep's oldest son, who's standing at the edge of an area that's filled with items set out on cloths, as if a new bazaar has opened up.

The Mayor waves a hand at the items and says to me, "These are all the things not claimed by people in town that were brought back from the hideout. Pick out things you want or need." He looks around, then says, "And bring Noriko to pick out things she wants. Anything you two don't take the shop will put up for sale."

My eye is already looking at the multiple bags of coin, still sitting on the cloths. I point to them. "Are you sure you don't want to keep those for the village?"

The Mayor smiles as if to tease me, then turns and walks away. "I'm sure I'll see you tonight. The wives are happy to have a new daughter in town."

I freeze slightly. What are they doing with Noriko? I'm not allowed to go find out just yet, though, as the shopkeep's son is directing my attention to many things. I shake my head and carefully go through what's on the blanket. Not unexpectedly, there's lots of jewelry, but I'll wait to see if Noriko likes anything. It will be another opportunity to learn something about her. I'm guessing she might like shiny things, but so far she's been very practical. If I'm wrong, I'll have her carry it for herself. I'd be surprised if she wanted to carry very much of it around for long.

Most of the items are either nasty (unwashed blankets of dubious quality, although we do need a set for Noriko) or unnecessary (like the odd trinkets with little use). I am able to find one nice water thermos so she can have one. A set of bandages draws my eye as well. I select out only what I know would be useful. I might be able to carry as much as could go in a wagon, but I don't need to. It's much better to travel simply.

I do take another two bags of coin. We're going to need to purchase things that aren't in this pile. When I'm done I turn to the shopkeep's son. "Noriko will need to have a bedroll, but these need cleaning first," I wave at them. "Will you let me have one from the shop that's new and take the pay for it from the sale of these after you've cleaned them?"

The young man shrugs. "Sure." He takes me inside the shop and introduces me to his father. I let him know I'll bring Noriko after I'm done in the shop so he doesn't clean up everything just yet. I make the same request of the shopkeep. He takes me over to the bedrolls and I pick out a set that are a bit softer and thicker than the cheap thin ones. The shopkeep approves. It begins to answer one of my suspicions.

I think the village has decided to adopt Noriko, even if it might be for only the time we're here. If I'd picked a cheap thin one he might have either refused, or been upset with me. I test it and discover I'm right. I sigh to myself, but I guess I'd rather they helped me when it's true that I'm in deep water when it comes to having her with me now.

When I'm done and there's a pile on the shop counter, I ask the shopkeep how much I owe him. He shakes his head at me, then points over his shoulder to the back of the shop. "All that will be enough to cover." I blink in surprise, then am grateful. I didn't see books of paper or pens and ink in his shop, which surprises me. He says there's actually a different shop in the village for those kinds of things, since there's apparently someone who really likes books and scribing, so sells them. I learn where that shop is, then leave with my items, very satisfied.

The herbal shop is next, then I'm dropping the things off in my room in the inn. I ask the innkeeper's wife where Noriko is. "Oh, the ladies took her to the washing stream. I'm sure they'll be back soon enough." I blink at that. It will be hard to go collect her if it's that, but I'm needing to have my eyes on her again. It's already been long enough for the Teacher to cause plenty of trouble.

I leave the village far enough to leap up into a tree where I scan the area and call the wind to tell me where the stream is. I head that direction, staying in the trees for a bit until I'm close enough to drop down and smell the water while on the ground. The smell of Noriko and others more directly leads me to them. I do stop when I'm just close enough to see the forms and figures of the women. To get any closer as a male is taboo when the women are there.

I shift uncomfortably, wondering how to let Noriko know I've come for her. She turns her head and looks towards me, then speaks to the ladies with her. They also look my direction. I try to hold still and say what I want with my body language, rather than have it say just how uncomfortable I am. One of the older women comes my way. At least she's fully dressed, easing my discomfort somewhat.

"We're about done with our questions. If you could wait just a little longer, we'll get her dressed so she can come," she says.

"Thank you. I'd appreciate it," I answer. As she returns to the other women, I back off until I can smell them but not be obviously watching them. It doesn't take too much longer before Noriko is hurrying my way. She's in new clothing, but as I said, I've guessed it. The innkeeper had asked me for his wife after all.

"Izark! Izark, they gave me [new] clothes!" She twirls to show me, a smile on her face. I smile in return. Then she stops. "Oh. But, they won't take coin. It's okay?"

"It's okay," I reassure her. "Please come with me." I turn for the village. Noriko falls in next to me, taking the back of my coat in her hand. I pause, then unlatch her hand and move it, and her, to my left instead of my right. "This side." I pat my sword with my right hand and mime drawing it. She'll be in the way if she holds on to the right side.

"Okay," she answers soberly, understanding. Then shyly she says, "Thank you." I know she means because I won't be upset with her for the touch. But in her case, I want to know exactly where she is, and right in that spot is best. I wait for her to take my coat on that side again in hand before I move, to make it obvious I wasn't just saying to stand or walk there. "Was your meet okay?" she asks.

"Yes," I answer, very satisfied, actually. "Your morning?" I ask.

"It was good," she answers carefully. She's still working on remembering the words. It isn't hard for her to begin to chatter about her morning. What words I can glean from the many she says say she slept late, ate and did words with the innkeeper's wife, then was picked up by the village woman to come to the water to bathe and pick out clothes. I feel pretty good about getting at least the summary out of all the words that flow from her. I can only smile to myself. She seems to be feeling better today.

As the ladies and I are finishing up and I'm wondering just how long I'm going to have to stand here until we get dressed again, I feel the warmth of the guardian panther getting closer. It stops, though, so I turn towards where it feels like it's waiting and indeed, there is Izark. He's standing at a modest distance, so it would be hard to tell who he was if it wasn't for his thin shape and long black hair. And the feeling.

I wonder about that feeling. It makes me a little sober, although some gratitude is under that. Why would I be able to know where he is like this? That's one anomaly to the concept of people being placed where I need them to be when I need them to be. Why is there something different about him specifically? I don't think it's just the chick bonding anymore. This example was definitely not that. This world has some level of strange powers, maybe even magic. It feels more like that.

"[Izark has come for me,]" I say, trying my best to remember last night's lesson. The ladies turn to see where I'm looking, so I must have gotten close enough.

"[I'll go,]" one of the dressed mothers says. "[Word Noriko dressed.]" (I try to memorize that word as get.)

The ladies pull me towards the four dresses remaining and hand me new dry undergarments, socks, and shift to put on. Now I'm going to have one more of each than I really want, I think. Unless they throw away the old ones which would be a waste. Then they bring back out the first dress I picked out. Oh, maybe the undergarments were from that stack, too. As I'm pulling it on I ask if I should take my wet things with me. They shake their heads and say they'll bring them to me when they're dry. I relax a little.

Once I'm dressed they shoo me off with smiles. I thank them and run off to where Izark waits for me, not needing to use my eyes to do so. Because I'm paying attention, I can feel the warmth getting stronger as I move. It's not just when he's coming towards me. I suppose that's a good thing, for all it only has a short range.

His look is so worried as I arrive that I smile and reassure him by showing him the new dress. I also make sure he knows I wasn't allowed to pay for it, but want to make sure it's okay, that he's not paying without me knowing. He reassures me it's okay.

As he turns to walk back to the village, I take the back of his jacket again. This time, because of the way he turned, I'm on his right. He pauses, and surprises me. He takes my hand off his jacket and pulls me behind him to his other side. "[This side.]" He pats his sword with his right hand and mimes drawing it. I get it. But now I'm embarrassed, since it's always been an automatic thing for me. He's really okay with it? He stands there waiting for me to take his jacket in hand again.

I quietly thank him as I do. I know it's not easy for him to be this close to me or anyone. I've already watched him shy away from any contact, in small ways, from anyone else. He's been kind to let me cry on him, and I touch him because I need the connection, but I try to keep it minimal. I'm working hard to have those times be fewer and farther between. But, I do very much like having this much contact with him. Then I know he knows where I am, and I can ease the feeling of being very lost and alone in a world not my own.

I need to change the subject so I ask how his meeting went. He says it was fine, but we don't share enough words for him to tell me what it was about. I'm pleasantly surprised when he asks how my morning went. I'm able to relax again as I tell him, deciding that I don't care that he can't understand most of it. Being with women has made me want to be chatty. He's patient and our walk back into Calco is comfortable.

When we get there, he takes me to the back side of a set of buildings. There's a young man there and all kinds of things set out on a blanket, like an outdoor merchant. Izark waves his hand at it all. "[Calco gives us. Please take.]"

I stare at the stuff, then at him. "Anything? Anything I want?" He nods. I walk over closer and study the things. As the summary settles in my brain I get it. These were the things taken by the bandits. I pause, but then decide if Calco is who gives it to us, likely any owners have already taken what was theirs. These are things they can't give back to anyone. Settled, I look through things intently.

As I'm passing up the jewelry section, having only skimmed it, Izark stops me. He picks up a necklace and puts it around my neck. I blush. He picks up two hair ornaments and puts them in my hair. My mouth gapes open. He picks up five bracelets and takes my hand. All five go on that arm. Another three go on the other arm. I'm scowling at him now. He goes to pick up a large garish ring and my hands are on my hips. "Izark!" I scold firmly. His eyes twinkle at me. He's teasing me. I blow out an irritated breath, then take it all off and put it back. Still scolding I say, "[Later.]" He silently laughs at me but allows me to move on.

First, are there bedrolls here? I'm guessing we won't be staying in villages every night. I find some and point to them. Izark shakes his head. Then he's already got one for me. I move on. The next thing I want isn't here, not surprisingly. That makes me think of something else and I scan. There are several small burlap bags. I pick one up. It jingles. I raised a surprised eyebrow at Izark. He nods. I open it. It is indeed coin. I breathe out a breath of shock, then hold it as I go back up to him. "[Paper? Pens?]" I won't let him make me wait after he's told me there's a place to buy them in town. He rolls his eyes and groans, but goes after I start pulling on him.

Once I have two blank books, a full sturdy ink well, and two pens I head back to the blankets. I let the scribe pick out the coin he wanted from the bag. I'll learn the coinage later. Now that I know how heavy the books are, I can pick from the other things. (It's more than I'd like, I think. Maybe I should have only bought one book. Still, together they aren't as heavy as my calculus book.) It's hard to decide. Most of the practical and useful things Izark lets me know he's already taken care of. I wonder if that's why he was teasing me about the jewelry. To let me know that was all I really needed to worry about. He's been watching me, though, so maybe he's wanting to know what I like and how I think. I wonder those sorts of things about him, too, so I get it.

Finally I do go back to the jewelry. I carefully look over everything. There are a few small items I find pretty. I make a minimal selection, knowing I'm going to have to carry them. I noticed with the ladies, though, and in watching the villagers generally, that jewelry is worn commonly, and by both genders. Here, where people aren't overly wealthy, it's not excessive, which fits my personal preferences. Most of the time jewelry gets in the way, but there are times I want to be and feel pretty.

When I have the few pieces I like I pick out three that I go and place on Izark: a hair ornament, an ear piece, and a metal arm band. I step back to look at the effect, then ask with my expression if he'll take them. He's blinking at me in surprise, but he flexes the arm with the arm band and touches the hair ornament. Those he's more uncomfortable with. I make sure the hair ornament gets tucked away with my jewelry anyway. If I can have my way, one day I'll see he wears it properly. I don't complain when he doesn't take that arm band, but selects a different style one that clasps around the wrist instead of the upper arm. He seems to completely forget I've put the ear piece on him. I don't remind him.

I look Izark in the eyes soberly. "Izark, some have more value than others. Which ones can we take to sell if we run out of coin?" I hold up my coin bag, then pantomime shaking it out, empty, then point to the jewelry. "Which ones are worth the most?" I point to one and hold up a few fingers. I point to another gaudy one and hold up five fingers, trying to get across that I want to know value.

His eyes go calculating and I think it's a look of pride for what I'm asking to learn. He crouches down and I crouch with him. The lesson is very informative. In the end, he picks up one broach that has a largish green stone in it and hands it to me, but he points to the clear white stones that surround the green stone. More expensive stones are made much smaller even in my world. It would be like having small diamonds surrounding a malachite, which isn't worth a whole lot in comparison. I assume this is the item of most value in the pile and add it to my collection.

I carefully review the jewelry possibilities. There's a bracelet with similar stones, and of a thick gold. That could potentially be worth a lot, but sometimes thick metals like this are mixed so they don't have as much value in the end. There's also another broach with a beautifully made filigree design with tiny clear stones sprinkled on it. I hold them both in my hand and ask Izark silently which one is worth more. He points to the broach. I thought so. I put the bracelet down and hand him the broach. If we both have something to sell, we'll have a back up source of coin if things get tight. He accepts it, pleased. I've understood my lesson and passed the exam.

I smile a small smile at him and rise to my feet again. At his raised eyebrow, I shrug. There's nothing else here I really need or want. I do look at the coin bags again, but I don't take more than the one I already have. He'll have already picked up what we need for the near future. A little bit for me to spend on the rare occasion I might have a need or want is enough for me. Izark reaches for a necklace. He stands and puts it on me. I blush again and leave it there. It's not exactly to my taste but if he wants to gift it to me, who am I to complain, after the lessons we've just had.

I think I've just had a very good lesson. The Awakening is practical and not given to excessive demands for the delights of nobility. She's still forceful. To make me take her to buy books and pens before she finishes the activity she was supposed to be focusing on: I roll my eyes at her inside. I have to ask her as we walk away from the items why she did that, wanting to know. When I learn it was to learn how heavy the books would be I can only shake my head at her, and me. Of course. If they were heavy she wouldn't want to pick out too much more from the offerings of the village. She still didn't, though.

I relax. She'll be easy to travel with. Her emotional demands are enough to carry. I won't have to carry any other unwieldy burdens than that. I think I can do that, except the times I'm struggling just to carry myself. She's respected me in that, too, during this time, ...mostly. If my fear would let her, she'd probably help carry me in those times. I'm coming to believe that more and more. That doesn't make my fear any quieter, though. It likely won't let her for a while to come. Not until we can understand what's going to happen in our future.

I take her inside the shop and point to the carry bags. They're in many sizes and I was thinking I'd have her teach me more. I don't think I need that lesson anymore, though. She only shakes her head at me. She's been needing and wanting a bag. We discussed it last night even. She tugs on her dress. "Gift." I have to puzzle that one out but I can see in her face she doesn't have the words she wants.

"How many clothes?" I ask, suspicious. She slumps and nods. I'm right. The ladies are already planning on giving one to her since they're the ones that are making her take all the clothes they want to give her. I can only give in, like she has. "Anything else?" I ask as I wave my hand around the room. She only sighs at me. She already knows that I've picked up the important things for her.

Then her eyes go wide and she nods. "Cobbler."

Oh? I raise an eyebrow at the shopkeep. He tells me how to get there and we're out the door again. This should be fun. I might need to pick up one more bag of coin on the way back through, though, if she actually orders boots. Women don't wear them, since they're only worn for men's work. She's going to have to fight the cobbler to get her way.

We arrive at the shop, but she asks to be taken around to the back, rather than the storefront. I get suspicious. That's a move of the Teacher, I think. I think she's also a good negotiator, just by what I've seen so far. That combination might be rather deadly for the person on the other side of the table. Maybe she could win that fight.

She makes me get the attention of the cobbler. When I let him know who we are, he proves again what I'm suspicious of. He comes out, intrigued to see what Noriko wants. Using me to help with the translation, she asks him what sorts of shoes he has for women. It's not much different than what's already on her feet. She scowls, then shakes her head.

Using the island girl excuse, she says she needs thick leather shoes like she's used to. That was a good way to get the thin knife slipped into the crack. He's willing to bring out a pair of standard work boots roughly her size. What I wear is the thin boots, like her thin shoes. I need flexibility. Work boots give more protection from boulders being dropped on toes, or from shovels that slip.

Noriko inspects the leather, not finding it fully what she wants, but somewhat acceptable. Then she slips her feet into the boots. The wrinkle of the nose followed by the frown warn me she might be about to begin. She takes two steps and groans. She returns to stand in front of the cobbler and we learn why she's still having us stand out in the dusty alley. The boots come off and are firmly put to the side. Her tirade has already begun, in her own language, but the tone is quite clear. I get a worried glance but can only shrug and pay attention. He does the same, trying to understand as best he can.

"What kind of person can even wear these?" I'm astounded at the awfulness of how the people of this world treat their own feet. "Don't you even study feet before you start building their entire foundation and protection?" The attention of the cobbler is drawn to my feet because I'm pointing to them. I hold onto Izark for balance as I pull off my socks. He's holding my things for me since I needed my hands to change shoes.

I step to the side where there's an unmarked patch of dust in the alley behind the cobbler's shop. I reach down and trace around my left foot, the outline of it. "See, here's the arch. And the ball of the foot is wider than the heel. The toes aren't a straight line across. Feet aren't blocks of wood." I scowl up at the cobbler, making sure he's paying attention. He's sweating just a little.

I carefully pick up my foot and point to the impression my foot left. "There's a heel, then the arch where the whole foot doesn't contact the ground, then see the width?" I'm pointing without touching as I show him the shape. Then I pick up the "left" boot, which would be a better hammer than shoe. I point to the where the widest part of the ball of the foot is on my drawn and stamped image on the ground, then point to where the same place would be in the boot. "Too small." I bring my fingers together, then point to my own foot. "I'll bet all of you have callouses, there, don't you? Ow." I know Izark will pick that one up.

I do the same for the length of the boot at the big toe. Then the outside at the ball. Then there's the heel and the arch. By the time I'm done scolding, he can only slump. Even he knows that the boot is unfinished, the design poorly done. When he's penitent enough, I teach him. "Here at the large part, it's in the upper, which comes around the foot from the slightly narrower sole. Here the toe is shaped to match what toes naturally do, and left and right are different." I'm gesturing and pointing as I go. At the last I put both feet together and point out they're mirror images. There really is a left and a right foot, not one shoe fits all feet.

I explain how to get arch support inside the boot using examples to get from soft and hard to firm. Not cloth, not cotton, but more like foam, not that they'd understand any of those words. And then I complain about the nails. A good number of them hit the foot inside the boot. I describe a glue that is sticky and dries in a day's worth of time. Once it's dry it is waterproof. All of that takes three times as long as I'd like it to, but when I'm done with the lesson he's gone from depressed to very intrigued. I'm relieved I haven't scolded a dolt that doesn't care. It seems he might be willing to experiment.

I hand him the boots back and say, "Maybe if I can [come again], you can have something better for me to try on." He takes the boots automatically and holds them as if stunned. Then he's drawing in a deep breath and Izark is bombarded with many questions. He answers as best he can, on occasion having to clarify things with me. I don't know everything, of course, particularly about the glue. I really need to figure out how to experiment to get glues. Are they still so far behind in that? I thought horse and tree glues were from at least this sort of time, if not before. For now, I use the excuse that I'm not actually a cobbler, so I don't know what the cobblers in my home "island" use. I just know they do use it.

The cobbler's done with us and walking into his shop again in a fog of a filled brain. I sigh. It's still going to be the thin shoes and my own. Oh, well. I take my things back from Izark and he leads us back to the inn. He's looking conflicted. I tug on his jacket to get his attention, then narrow my eyes at him. He chuckles slightly and shakes his head. "[A] Noriko [teaches]," he says.

I blink at him in surprise. "[Teaches?]" I try to imitate the word. 

"Noriko [is a teacher. A teacher teaches.]" Ah he's referencing my lessons from this morning, as I explained to him what that had been. I put them together, then let him know I've understood.

He goes serious. "Noriko, [teach word. ...Not-more. Less.]" Ah, opposites. A day of "more and less". I pull on him to walk while I think about that. He wants to know I'm thinking about it seriously, though, before he moves.

I'm afraid I can't teach less. I've always had a need to explain things to people. And there are things that I know that can help others. It seems to worry him, though. I finally sigh and let him know I'll try. As I said before, even my friends had to nearly give up on me and my version of T.M.I.

I'm grateful to finally have everything come together so that I can ask Noriko to teach less and have her understand at least that much. It helps to be able to say my greatest worry when it comes to the Teacher. She didn't promise it, though. We need more shared words before I can explain why in a way she'll be able to understand. What she taught the cobbler wan't bad. She did a good job of explaining away odd things as being from her home island. Still. I think there are likely to be times where that won't work, or what she knows will be far too different. She doesn't know everything about this world yet, after all. I can only sigh and worry still, but hope to worry less.

We take her things to her room and she pulls out her book of words and has me say all the ones she's learned newly today so she can write them. Then it's the usual of me writing them down in our characters so she can learn to read them also. Today that doesn't take as long as it could. Then she indicates she wants to lie down to rest for a while. I frown at her and reach for her forehead. Is it because she was teaching again? She doesn't feel fevered, but she is pale.

Noriko shakes her head. "I am okay, Izark." She turns to the first page, with her calendar and numbers on it. There's not much room left on the page, but she finds a space to draw another "day" symbol, this one with a little sun above and a moon below the day line. She draws a line from the center of that line towards the evening, as if the sun were almost to the dinner hour. "Izark's planet." She draws another line from the center down nearly the opposite direction. "My planet."

Ah. When we're nearing dinner time, she should be very much already sleeping, and has already stayed up way too late at night, for her. I ask her what time it had been when she arrived in the Sea of Trees. She shows me it was halfway through the afternoon, her time. Already past midnight our time and she was kept awake for a very long time after that. It's obviously been difficult for her to get adjusted to an opposite schedule.

I thank her and move to leave the room to let her sleep. I let her know before closing her door that we'll be waking her up for dinner, regardless. She only thanks me. She knows. If we're to be the main celebrants, she can't miss it. I would miss it if I could, also. I don't like being the center of attention.

As I'm in the middle of packing the things that are in my room, I suddenly stop. Did Noriko lie to me? If our planets are nearly opposite in time, what time it was when she left her world doesn't fit. It was only a few hours after dawn, mid-morning at most, when she arrived here. That's only a quarter of a day, not half of a day. I frown. It eats at me to think she would lie.

When the things are packed away and ready for us to leave in the morning, I head down to the tables in the common room and ask for a drink. The innkeepers are a bit busy, so they bring not only a cup but also a pitcher for me in case I want more. I thank them and go back to my musings, staring at nothing. With my chin in my hand, elbow resting on the table, I thoughtlessly swirl the cup on the table, as if I'm in a bar. It's my worried thinking habit. The movement catches my eye, though. 

Noriko said that it's the planet that moves. I rotate my cup, pretending like the sunlight coming through the window is the sun for my wooden "planet". I look at the pitcher and rotate it at the same time as the cup, trying to get as close to a similar timing as possible. The "day" of the cup is much shorter than the "day" of the pitcher. As a matter of fact, it's only about one-fifth of a full rotation of the pitcher. Is her planet a different size, so that the timing would constantly change?

I find two pieces of string and tie one into a somewhat small circle. The other one I tie so that it's a circle that I can adjust the size of by pulling on one end. Setting the knot of the smaller one as my planet's time, I try to work out how large the other circle needs to be in order to make a full turn of it move its time so that in five rotations it's gone from "afternoon" to half a day's time later. In the end, I'm proud of myself for figuring it out and surprised. Does this change Noriko's calculations of how old she is on this planet? I wonder. It probably does, although it doesn't matter.

I sit back and am amazed. This sort of working out a puzzle, answering a question with simple natural methods, is surely how her planet has advanced. It brings back to mind the confusion of the cobbler. He was not only excited to have Noriko show him how to think about making shoes better, but flabbergasted no one else had ever bothered to consider it -- including him. It's a powerful thing she can do, to teach that desire to others.

A small voice inside me points out that's what she's doing to me, too, little by little in quiet ways. She's showing me that even I can wonder what can be done differently to change my destiny. It's a new thing for me to even consider that doing something more and different (than rage and run away) might bring about positive results in some way. I sigh and rise to my feet. That's still a frightening thing to consider on the surface. I'll continue to protect that in the back of my mind until I have the strength to look at it. Maybe she'll continue to help me get there.

I'm interrupted as the door opens and two women walk in. They catch sight of me and walk over. One hands me a stack of cloth. "Your turn. Go get clean and wear these. Everything you need's in there."

"We'll get Noriko dressed while you're doing that. Is she here?" the other ones says. She's carrying a nearly-full bag. I eye it warily. I suspect they put more in there than Noriko wanted and she'll be leaving some behind. I tell her which room Noriko is in, that she's napping but expecting them, and head out the door for the washing stream. I know when to not argue.

I awake at a knock at the door. My heart beat jumped up a lot to hear it. It doesn't happen for me here. I have to draw in a very slow long breath and force myself to get up. Izark would know if and who. That bolsters me just enough I can get up and open the door. I'm quite relieved to see it's two of the women from the bathing and clothes before. They do indeed have a bag with them. I frown a bit. I think it has more in it than I agreed to. It seems very full.

I let them in politely. They're all business, pulling things out of the bag. The first thing that comes out is the nice dress I liked but didn't take. I sigh to myself, but I guess I'm glad I'll get to wear that one at least once. It is very pretty. Other things come out but I can't see them because the second woman is directing me to remove my dress.

Once I'm in only my shift again they help me get dressed in the pretty dress (mostly because I still can't tuck in the fabric sashes they like to wear). Then they make me sit in the chair and brush my hair. I stiffen just a little. Brush! I forgot to get one! I sigh at myself, but I think it's because I didn't know what they looked like here. They're different from what I'm used to. There was surely one in the shop even if not on the cloths outside. I suspect Izark didn't remember either. Maybe later.

They indicate they want to ornament me. I walk over to the small bag of jewelry I took and gently dump it out. They teach me how to wear some of the pieces as they put all of them on me at once. That wasn't really what I wanted, but I'm afraid to complain. I don't know any of the traditions here at all, and I don't want to offend them.

When they're content, they lift me up by the hand and take me downstairs. There the innkeeper's wife fusses over me with many complements. I smile shyly and thank them all. Several men are carrying large containers of food out the door. She's been cooking all day, and her husband has been helping. They're looking exhausted, but very happy. 

The other women shoo her to her room to change and we sit at a table to chat (well, they chat) until the innkeeper's wife comes out dressed to the nines as well. Then off we go. I wonder where to, but I don't have to wait long. There's an open central square area we've not been near yet, since most of our meandering around town has been in the market district. The village has decorated the square, looking like it also took all day. As they seat me at a head blanket with cushions on it, I can only blush. Somehow I feel like the bride waiting for the groom to come. That makes me squirm inside.

Slowly the final preparations, setting of food pots on tables, and general running around of youths calms down. We don't have to wait much longer than that. I can feel Izark coming. Being nervous, but wanting to let them know he's close, I rise to my feet and turn to face where he'll enter the square from. I'm very much wanting him next to me again so I can calm down my beating heart. His eyes look for mine first, like mine are looking to see him. He looks about as thrilled to be there as I am.

Then what he's dressed in hits me and I'm lost to the vision. He's already obviously good looking. In this outfit he's fabulous. The designs of not just cuffs but dark ones that point up his arm accentuate the length of his arms. They're embroidered, too. The design is on the shoulders, pointed down over his pectorals and also embroidered the same. The jacket is long like he likes, but also has tails so it looks like a cross between a dignified tuxedo and a Japanese overcoat.

He still has on the earpiece, but since his hair is wet, I'm going to assume he took it off to bathe and then put it back on. Surprising. The pants have a more formal cut to them than he usually wears. And somehow they talked him into not wearing a bandanna for once. It makes his features that much more fairy fair and quite delicious to the eye. Ahh...! What am I thinking?! He walks up to me and quietly asks, "[Are you okay?]"

I swallow. "Beautiful," I whisper, wanting to learn that word but not at the same time. I shiver and turn from him to kneel on my cushion. He silently sits next to me. I suddenly wonder if our current clothes came not from the village but the bandits. These seem more than the village would need or have. But if nobles had been robbed as they traveled through here, then these could very well have been in their things taken from them. The gold tassels on the upper arm of the sleeves are the same. Now I really feel like this has gone too far towards "wedding". I'm very much not ready for any such thing at all.

Food is set out on plates in front of us before I recover. I think there was a speech somewhere in there before the food came, but I'm not sure. I give up and just eat. When I go to drink, I do pause. I think Izark has either taught them what I need, or he took care of me while I was out. It's water, lightly scented with alcohol. A nice one at that. "Sheshe," I whisper to him as I set the cup back down. He gives me a small nod after glancing at me. I work hard for the rest of the celebration to feel like the Fairy Queen with the Fairy Knight, instead of like the Fairy Bride with the Fairy King.

Seeing Noriko waiting for me is suddenly hard. I was anxious to know she was okay, so I'm relieved. I can tell she's nervous and anxious as well. At the same time, I have to draw in a breath and steel myself. I've been the unwitting partner to far more than one noble young lady, many of them considered beautiful even. She stands more noble in her quiet stillness than any of them. The dress and the way the women have made her hair makes her go from a child to a young woman with a natural beauty that doesn't detract at all. I think it's funny she let them put all of the jewelry she liked on her, and the other two pieces as well. I wonder what she would have chosen for herself, but don't ask.

Her wide eyes haven't left me since she saw me so I go to her first, not sure she's doing okay at all. I ask her and she swallows and says one quiet word in her language, then turns to sit. Because she has, I must also. I can't fathom what that word was at all. I let it go since the Mayor has taken his place in front of the gathering, but slightly off to the side of our place at the head of the gathering. He likes being grandiose but at the same time is still a simple village mayor. The speech is relievingly short and the gratitude real. Often it isn't. Truly this has been a good place to have come to for this time, for all he and I don't see eye to eye. He sets his prejudice aside for the moment because the villagers are grateful to me regardless of what I look like.

Noriko hasn't moved since she sat down. I'm not sure she's breathing either. I take a quick glance at her as the servers bring drinks to us. They offer a fine wine, likely from the spoils. I accept it, but place my hand over Noriko's cup. Water only for her. Once she has water in her cup, I pour a little of my wine into it. Still, she doesn't move and I become more worried. Is she so afraid of this situation as to have become petrified? It's not out of the realm of possibility.

It's not until food arrives on plates that Noriko moves, quietly thanking the server and taking the plate. It's even later, after eating without much thought, that she reaches for her cup, pauses to smell it, then drink from it. She didn't even know it had been poured? That's rather bad, actually. She does then whisper thanks to me for caring for her. I silently draw in a breath and nod back, not enough for the others to notice. Not that they will. The villagers are also busy chatting, laughing, and eating now.

By the time people begin to come up and give their personal gratitude for what I've done to help them, Noriko is able to smile at them and say what little she can to them when they talk to her also. Mostly it's gratitude for their kindness she expresses. That much is sufficient and kind of her as well. There are a few villagers who come up that talk to her more than that, as if she's already talked to them before. I'm a little concerned when the cobbler leaves us and stops to talk to what looks like the blacksmith.

Their voices are loud from the fine drink and I can hear them talking about Noriko and what she's taught them. They're both very excited and happy. A rock settles in my stomach. I think she's perhaps done just a little more than she should have while we were here and I wasn't able to watch her. Although, I did watch one of them and didn't stop it. I sigh at myself. I haven't helped myself here, either. We'll definitely have to stay away from people for a long ways. Anyone who comes here and asks questions will learn things I don't want them to know. That thought makes the night a little less enjoyable.

Noriko's hand lightly falls on my arm and her eyes turn to look into mine. "Izark." She bites her lip. She can't find the word she wants so she draws in front of her mouth a curve upwards.

"Smile?" I ask. She might also be asking for the word "happy". Perhaps it doesn't matter. They're about equivalent. I sigh and have to agree in my heart. She hasn't said "It's okay." Only to take the night as it is while we're in it.

"Tomorrow morning," she whispers at me.

I agree again. The worries should properly wait until the right time. Now, at a celebration the village wants to see me happy, or at least content and grateful at isn't that time.

By the time we're allowed to leave the celebration, Noriko is nearly sleeping on my shoulder. I excuse it as being slightly drunk since she's likely not used to fine drink. Only the one person serving us knows it was water she was drinking. We wake her up enough to get her on her feet. I ask the innkeeper's wife to support her back to the inn. I support the innkeeper who's so inebriated he can barely walk or talk, although he's trying to. He's also crying because we're leaving him and the inn in the morning. I can only roll my eyes at him and get him where he needs to be to sleep it off.

I wake up in the morning before dawn. The birds aren't even calling to each other yet. The village feels like it's contentedly sleeping, and still slightly warm. As if the coals from the bonfire last night are still red and warming it. I don't think we went to bed that late, though. I only barely remember eating, visiting with more people than I could hold in my head, although the blacksmith and cobbler both made a point to come and talk to me. It was nice to not just be the person next to Izark. I got to feeling a bit like a rock since most of the words went way over my head.

Somehow, though, I could tell when his thoughts turned away from the celebration and he went a little too introspective. I wanted to crawl away and sleep already by then. I encouraged him in what little way I could, trying to encourage myself at the same time, needing the reminder that it was temporary, something we could do for them to make them happy because they wanted us to be happy with them. I'm glad it helped both of us. Still, I couldn't stay awake regardless, it went on so long. It was a relief to stumble back to my room. I think the innkeeper's wife was still awake enough to help me get undressed, since I've woken up in my shift.

The warmth I'm feeling shifts slightly. Izark is awake now as well. That's good enough for me. I get dressed in yesterday's dress as fast as I can after lighting the candle in the room. Then I go through the bag they brought me. There wasn't time last evening. I sigh in relief. Most of the extra cloth was the nice dress and it's underdress. I fold them neatly and leave them on the bed. Then I add to my new bag the books, the bag of jewelry (after making sure I have all of the pieces still), the small bag I've put the ink and pens in, and the bag of coins. (I like to have them all in bags so there's not lots of things scattered around, unfindable.)

Izark is outside my room by then. I open the door and let him in before he can knock. I silently gesture him in, then wave at the open bag, then point to his. He pulls out my notebooks, pencil case, then the brush. He stares at it, then slumps. I nod sympathetically. We had both forgotten, and neither one of us wants to stay long enough to get one now. He hands it to me and I put it in my bag. Then it's my shoes. That's filled up my bag completely.

As I cinch the bag closed and tie it, Izark turns to look at the dress on the bed. He points to it and asks if I want to take it. I shake my head without looking at it. I do look at him, though, once the bag strap is over my shoulder. "[Izark's clothes?]" He hesitates, then also shakes his head. He's left his as well. I'm not surprised, although perhaps I'm a little disappointed. We're ready to go.

Izark steps out into the hallway and I quietly close the door behind me. Perhaps I'll miss this place for a little while, but I'm very ready to be gone and be where it's quiet. Even so, the innkeeper's wife is up and smiles at us when we go downstairs. She's already put out food on the table for us so we don't leave without breakfast. I set my bag down by my chair and go to her. I wrap my arms around her in a hug and say, "Sheshe," with as much sincerity as I can. She holds me back tightly. When we let go we both have tears at the corners of our eyes. Yes, I guess I will miss them.

Chapter Text

I'm more than relieved we can leave Calco early in the morning and with more than I'd thought, since I didn't have to pay for most of it. I did have to pay the clothing merchant for another few sets of clothing. If I could've waited I could've had room for the fancy clothing of the celebration, but it was more than I needed or wanted. I wasn't originally going to buy more clothes, but when I was getting my bag ready I realized I was down to.... Well, not much given that twice now since Noriko came I've ruined what I was wearing. If being around the Awakening is going to make me ruin clothing, I shouldn't short myself, although I only want to carry what fits in my bag. 

The Mayor made us take a horse, telling me where to pick it up from during our meeting yesterday, saying Noriko shouldn't have to wear her feet out. I didn't complain as it will get us farther away faster. We stop by the stable on our way out and the stable boy saddles it and brings it out for us. I'm rather amazed the village will pay to just give it to us, tack and all.

Noriko doesn't know how to ride one, never having done it before. I lift her up and set her in the saddle, then tell her to not move. Once I've mounted up behind her (they gave us a blanket that covers the back of the horse enough I at least have that padding under me), I take up the reins and get us moving out of the village. I do have a destination in mind. We'll take the wandering route to get there to give Noriko enough time to learn enough words and those who might follow us enough time to give up a little (maybe).

Noriko will have to become stronger to survive sleeping outdoors at night, I learn during the day. Her body becomes weary fast. It takes a lot of energy to stay upright on a horse when it's a new task. She won't find sleeping on the ground restful for a while either. Tonight she's cheerful as we set up the camp, smiling at me the whole time as if to reassure me she's quite okay with this arrangement.

I watch over her and the fire until I need to sleep. I only need four hours each night. When it's just me, I continue to travel under the moon and starlight. When I have a client, then I spend their sleeping time meditating and watching the stars and tending to the fire. I'm content this night to just sit in silence. The quiet is relieving.

This morning she's doing her part to break the camp down and even on her own is cleaning it up so that it looks like we were never here. It's times like this I wish I could understand her enough to ask her why she does that. What things did she learn on her own world? How much is just her own personality? And how much is it that seemingly odd understanding without knowing she has of the dangers we're in? I keep reading into her actions the last one, but I suspect if I were to ask her it would be one of the other two. I wish I could know for sure. 

As we ride, I help her learn her new words. We talk more than normal for me, and it seems often more than normal for her, too. She does like to just watch the scenery as we pass it by. The little joys I get in seeing things she also appreciates, but because everything is new to her eyes, I'm getting to see it newly again as well. Many things I'm able to have a new and different appreciation of because of her.

At those times, I'm able to relax with her and enjoy her warmth in front of me as we ride on the horse. When she dozes off and slumps against me to rest, I'm uncomfortable. It's normal for me to not touch, nor be touched by people. And she is the Awakening. I still don't know if having her physically touching me, or this close, can affect me in ways I don't want. When it's bad, I'll wake her back up and make her study her words again. It would be good if there was something else to distract her, but I don't know what it would be.

Sometimes I can sigh at myself and let her be. She struggles to be strong enough to travel all day after taking down a camp, and then set one up again at night. A nap is necessary to her some days. I smile behind her back. She's learning many things here. Then I sigh. It only makes the Teacher stronger, I'm sure. That might not be so good, but there isn't anything I can do other than what I'm doing. I'm constantly hoping it won't turn back against me some day.

I've fought against her learning one thing for about a week when she finally comes to me one more time. She calmly asks, "Please," and many of her words. Then she disappears. The wind tells me where she is. We've already gathered the sticks for the fire, but she's gathering more. She's gone long enough I've made the fire and started water to boil (she'll only drink boiled water, still careful about what she puts into her).

When she returns she asks again, "Please." This time she has in hand a stout stick the length of her knife and another the length of a sword. It's been three days since she gave me the lecture as the Teacher. I resisted that one, having my own history to give me strength against it, but she still wants to learn how to defend herself using the knife properly. I've spent the time doing my own thinking.

I was taught how to use a sword by a woman who comes from a clan of warriors. Her name is Gaya il Pisca. I ran from her, too, for many days, before I had to give in and let her teach me just so she'd stop stalking me. I was surprised when the first thing she taught me was not how to swing a sword, but the teachings of the clan master. That more than anything made me willing to learn to hold and use a blade. If Noriko can understand those teachings and believe them enough to live them, then perhaps I will teach her. I still don't want it, though.

I pull out the knife I claimed in Calco. One of my least favorite parts of video games is when the player character picks up a quest character who is completely helpless, or worse, useless. If the quest character has a sword or other weapon, then it ought to be helping out against all the enemies that are inevitably thrown at the player character.

If I'm the quest character "Fairy Queen" that got picked up by the player character "Super Knight", then I'm danged going to be able to do my seven points of damage and work up to twenty, minimum. Even if he did just go up a level at the end of the Calco segment of the quest. That only happened with both of us working together. I've decided quite firmly that working together is a requirement of this quest. I can feel it.

"Izark," I can't decide whether to wheedle or be firm, then I remember honey draws more bees. "[Please, teach me.]" I ask it calmly. "This place, this planet isn't safe. Teach me to protect myself enough to get away." I look at him soberly.

Sometimes, when we're calm and speak slowly to each other, the message gets across, even if we don't have the words. "It will be enough to help you, too, when you get into something that just a little bit more would help." He stares at me, and I know he got the level of sincerity, but not the message, not fully. I don't know if it will be enough.

I put the knife back into its sheath, then go find a stick the right length and strength. It takes me a while and he has the campfire started and the water for dinner is on to boil. I show him the two sticks I've found: one about the length of his sword, the other the approximate length of my knife. I hold out the long one to him. "[Please.]"

Izark sighs and looks at me sadly, then he takes the practice sword and nods. It's not quite reluctant... more unhappy. It looks like he's been thinking about it. He didn't argue this time.

I sigh at her, then take the sword-length stick that she's holding out for me. I motion for her to come to where there is earth to draw in. I poke a hole in the dirt, then draw a circle from it around and back to it. The first lesson of the Grey Bird master is: "All paths eventually return to their origin." Can Noriko understand this teaching? I look up at her from where I'm crouched to draw.

The ending is the beginning. Everything comes back again. I nod. I got it. The philosophy of karma and Christianity: don't do something you don't want to have done to you. If he's going to teach me, I have to understand where I'm starting from, because it's going to come back to me.

I move to the next part of the dirt. I draw me, then the knife with the point down next to me as a second figure, then a bandit.

I'm often amazed at how well she draws. They're crude drawings, but I've never wondered what it was that was drawn. She draws herself, then the knife with the point down next to her, then a bandit. It actually looks similar to one of the ones I fought in Calco. I know it's her because she always draws herself as a girl in a short dress with short hair and wearing shoes.

As I ponder that drawing, Noriko moves to draw another one. The second drawing is her picture of me. Usually that means a male figure with long hair, a bandanna, the long coat, and the pants. Sometimes she adds the boots, but not today. She then draws a bandit in front of me and another behind me at a distance. She glances at me to see if I've understood that much. I give a small nod.

Then I draw me between him and the bandit at his back. I'm facing the second bandit, making Izark and myself back-to-back. Then I draw a knife, point down between me and the bandit. The knife is a shield. Can he understand that?

I sigh and smile at the same time again. She's always doing that to me. Making me want to say, "I don't need it," and reminding me at the same moment that in her sight I did need it. A drawing of the knife goes point down again between her and the bandit she faces.

I think she's understanding what I want her to understand, saying what I want to hear if I'm going to teach her. The knife is a shield, not a weapon. If we use blades in defense, we are defended. If we use them to cause injury, we will be injured.

I put my hand on my sword, then point to it. 

I nod. I watch as he puts out his long arm, covered in it's ever-present wrap, and his slender finger reaches out.

I bend to the picture and draw the sword, point down between myself and the bandit in front of me. I want her to understand that from the beginning that's how I use the sword. I can't help hovering over the knife picture. I also protect her with the sword, but... in this case we're talking about how she'll use it, so I leave it. She protected me in the moment I needed it to keep us both safe.

"Thank you, Noriko," I say soberly. If she'll continue to use her strength to protect us both in what little ways she can, I'll be very grateful.

"You're welcome, Izark." I answer. I know he's talking about what I did for him in preventing the teleporting bandit from making that second blow.

I blink, run my hand through my hair, then smile a little. I try to draw three-dimentionally, placing stick-figure bandits all around both of us, then I draw his sword between us and all the rest of the bandits. He blinks back, then gets a slow, tiny smile on his face.

I've reminded her that when there are many enemies, only I'll be able to handle them. She recognizes her own limitations.

I smile back at her. "[Yes], Noriko." (I use some of her words since they were easy to learn.) She smiles brightly at me, happy with this lesson if it will get her what she wants. I'm sufficiently satisfied.

I smile a bright smile at him. I'm happy with that. Maybe some day I'd be able to work up to two, or even three, but not likely ever enough to kill, except by accident -- critical hit level -- 100 on a 2D10.

The second lesson is the other part of what the master taught his clan. I move to draw a new picture. I draw the picture for "strong" -- the arm held up to show a strong bicep -- then point to my chest and try to show that strength comes from within ourselves. She puzzles that one out. I wish I could say it, because it is so much more than that, but we don't have the words yet.

I want to say them because they are the words that Gaya won me over with. "Those who choose the martial path must first master the power of gentleness." I was confused by that, although I liked how it sounded. It was her summary that made it clearer. "These teachings tell us that a true battle isn't about beating your opponent by force. It's about learning how to get along with everyone."

She admitted she never fully understood what that meant, but I did. It was the way I already wanted to live my life and had been working hard to learn to do. I was so surprised to learn that others had seen it that way as well, but had been strong, even to being warriors. It made me less afraid of my strength, more willing to learn how to control it and use it for good for others.

Gaya encouraged me to become a wandering swordsman instead of working the caravans. When we ended that caravan's journey, she stayed in that city to open a shop. I stopped working for caravans and learned to be a warrior in the way I wanted to be one. I've been grateful for Gaya and the Grey Bird master since that time.

I can only teach it to Noriko in this way. The little strengths inside become the external strengths. When we are gentle, we can do the most good. When we can wish to befriend everyone first, we can find the strength to defend those who need it, and the strength to stop fighting when we should. I don't need to kill and prefer not to, because I can choose to be gentle, which is what I want to be.

His second lesson is that strength -- he uses the "strong arm" symbol from before -- is within us. What we are, what we bring to the table, is what is our strength. A solid core brings solid strength. I get it, but I don't got it. I sigh. I point to myself, then cross out the strength symbol, shaking my head, then I draw the strength symbol again, little by little, in between swinging my practice stick. I will need to build up my strength.

I'm surprised when Izark shakes his head at me, erases the ‘x' over the original strength symbol and solemnly informs me I'm already strong.

I shake my head at her. Yes, strength of arm is built up, but you have to first recognize your own inner strengths -- or what you wish to have as your own inner strength. She already has the gentleness, the desire to be kind and useful that she needs to meet this teaching. I try to tell her what I want her to understand is already inside of her. She doesn't see it. We'll need more common words for the understanding to flow from me to her.

I'm just a student, I want to protest, but he wouldn't understand it. Maybe he's thinking he doesn't know how to explain it to me either, because he lets it drop, standing. He motions to me and I erase the board and stand where he puts me. We begin the first practical lesson, standing side by side, me imitating his movements.

I show her how to hold the "hilt" of the stick knife correctly, then stand next to her and, like Gaya did for me, I show her how to make each motion that must be learned for a blade to become a proper defense without harming the wielder or the opponent that should only be discouraged, not killed.

She will someday have to learn to kill because she's picked up the blade, but for now simple defense is enough. I learned that sometimes defending oneself means killing someone who won't believe otherwise. I hope she's never with me when Keimos confronts me again. If I lose, she will also, because she'll never be able to kill him, and he'll fight until he dies.

For thieves and bandits, she'll be okay, I think. Her determination that first battle night says it very clearly. That makes me think of a question. I ask her if she actually used the knife in Calco. She shakes her head. She didn't have to. That's good. It's better to not use it when you have no training.

We've been traveling by ‘horse' -- they have feet more like a camel, heads like a deer, and bodies like a slender horse or wide deer, and they coo, snort, and squeak (sort of) -- which I like because it puts me close to him. It was uncomfortably embarrassing at first to have to ride in front of him because he has to hold the reins. That puts his arms as if he were half-embracing me.

We've been on the road now for almost six weeks though, so it doesn't bother me any more. I even fall asleep occasionally and make him let me lean on him, which he doesn't complain about, but I think embarrasses him, unless I've been making him talk too much to help me learn the language.

He doesn't complain about that either. I don't like to talk so much, except I want to learn it quickly and the only way is to hear it and practice it. Often we will fall into silences that last long enough...for me to fall asleep. Sometimes he'll start talking just to keep me awake. I need to find something else to do when our jaws and ears get tired and I'm getting bored.

I've learned the ordinal directions and we're headed west on average, although for a while it was rather random. For the last two weeks we've been slowly following a large stream, or small river, I'm not sure which. Sometimes we'll stay an additional night at a particular campsite.

We've been here at this one for the longest: this will be our third night. It's a nice beachy sort of area at a bend in the river, where it takes off to head south. He keeps looking west, though. I think he wants to head that way next, but there's something keeping him here at the river side for now. I wonder what it is? 

Six weeks we've been wandering. Two weeks following this river. Three days waiting at this bend, where there's a nice beach. I want to be going on, but the river doesn't go with us past this bend. I am rocks inside again.

We've reached the latest time Noriko estimated she would have symptoms from her experiment. I don't want to live through the results of that. I want to believe that nothing will happen and I'll have wasted time here in the place. My worry and the weight inside won't let me leave it.

I haven't had a reaction to the blood immunization yet, and I wonder why. I've also been picking up the language faster than I would have expected since I don't have my book out unless it's evening and we're at the campfire and Izark can add his written language to it. When I want to talk, though, I see the pictures I draw to go with the words and the words come to me. We've just graduated recently from nouns and verbs to adjectives and I'm trying to get contractions. That's coming slower at the moment.

Izark stands and walks to the west side of our encampment again. He's starting to make me anxious as well. I stand and walk over to him. We've run into occasional wild creatures (monsters in my book) that he's had to fight off. It doesn't take much from someone like him. "Izark, [monsters is it?]" 

He startles and that surprises me. He always knows when I'm approaching. "[Ah...Noriko, no not monsters. Word thinking.]" I automatically assign "just" to the word he said that I didn't know and stick it in my mental dictionary. I'm getting better at remembering things to put in my dictionary. That may be part of what's helping me learn faster, too. 

I don't tell her that in that direction is the place I'll be leaving her. In six weeks she's learned the language fairly well. By the time we reach that city, she'll know enough, and it's far enough away from the Sea of Trees to not have seekers in it. 

I purse my lips. "[Come practice, please,]" I say. If he's going to be that impatient this late in the day, when we can't actually pack up and go anymore, we shouldn't have stayed the extra day. Maybe if we practice I can keep him distracted.

It's something to do and might get my worries to calm some. I agree. We work our usual practice, which includes sparing lightly against each other now so she can learn what it is to face someone with a sword. She seems tired when we're done, and she sits quietly by the fire as I fix the meal.

Tonight I don't recover as quickly after we rest. When he gets started on the evening routine I just sit and watch him for a bit. We've already got all the firewood we need right now, and there isn't much for me to do until it's time to wash the dishes. 

Hmmm. I can't finish as much of dinner as usual. "[Sorry, Izark, not so hungry today.]" Izark looks at me, but shrugs slightly. I take his dishes when he's done and head to the river to wash up. A wave of dizziness overcomes me, and all of a sudden I'm headed for the ground.

I watch her closely. As she begins to slump to the ground, my heart goes with her. The rest of me is there to catch her before she hits her head. She's as limp as a wet cloth, and her temperature is climbing, making her shiver already. 

I feel Izark by me, catching me, and I want to protest it was just a sudden blood rush, but I can't. I'm suddenly shivering and so weak I can't hardly open my eyes, let alone move or speak.

I leave the dishes where they've fallen and carry her back to where her bed is already unrolled in preparation for tonight's sleeping. I think I won't be getting much sleep for a while. Not that I sleep more than four hours a night anyway, but this is going to be very difficult.

I already don't like her being out of my sight very long, and I've become too accustomed to having her protected between my arms while riding on the horse. To hold her just this distance, it's almost more than I can do to put her down and turn for her bag to hunt for the herbs and instructions I'll need. 

I want her to not live through this, nor make me. I'm afraid of what she's done.

It's already obvious which one will be first. Her temperature has risen quickly. All of them have elevated temperature. This one is severely high. It's one of the two that demands we be here by the river. Only cold water can keep a person alive when they're so hot.

I still wrap her blanket around her. I'm going to have to hide my heart to do what must be done. For now, I prepare the tea she'll need to drink to help her body fight the disease. I rinse the dishes in the river and put the herbs in her mug, then pour what remains of the boiling water over them. I steep them for the length of time in the instructions, then filter the leaves out and wait.

When Noriko whimpers in distress, I'm by her side to lift her just enough so I can put the mug to her lips. She drinks too greedily at first, then slows down enough to get most of it into her before she passes out again. I set her and the mug down, then rise to my feet to pace.

I'm wrapped in a blanket and close to the crackling fire. Strange things are dancing in my mind and I whimper. A strong hand is under my head and an herbal drink is pressed to my lips. I greedily drink at the warmth, except it's very hard to swallow, so I have to back off on speed until...I fade out again. 

Finally I take a breath and scold myself firmly. I remove my belt, sword, and knife, keeping them close by. My boots and socks also come off. I consider what else I'm wearing. With a sigh, I switch to my night clothes. They'll handle the water best, and I don't need to ruin more clothing while we're in hiding. Then I'm pacing again while staying close to Noriko.

Before I feel ready, she's moving. I knew it was coming, though. Her breathing has been panting for a while now. She's pulling at her blanket, and at the neck of her dress. I swallow and help free her from the blanket. She's in a panic now and I can't hold back the tide of time.

Steeling my heart, I gently undo the laces of her over-dress, unwrap her belt, remove her shoes and socks, then as carefully as I can, remove her dresses from her. Every time I touch her skin she hisses in pain. It's soft and bubbled up, and very red.

I'm panting...so hot! Struggling weakly to be free of the covers, pulling at the neck of my dress, my skin burns and I want it to not be covered. So badly, I begin to moan and then panic. There are hands on me, removing layers and I'm desperate, and so glad when the layers are off.

But I want my skin off now, too. It's like I'm being boiled alive from within. Hands touch me, lift me, and I cry out in pain at the touch, then I'm being lowered into cold running water and I whimper in relief.

I'm as gentle as I can be as I lift Noriko from her bed and carry her to the river. The skin like this is very fragile. I'm glad she's too weak to move, too fevered to care that I've undressed her, preferring that over the pain of being clothed. I lower her body into the river, her feet pointing out into the flow of it, and sit so that I can hold only her head, under her hair. I use my energy manipulation skills to prevent sticks and other things floating down the river from running into her. Until the fever is over, her skin is in danger.

It's hard enough to know that under my fingers is not just water from the river but her own hot blood because I must touch her somewhere to keep her from floating away. I use as much energy rather than touch as I can to counterbalance that, but even that can put too much pressure on her skin on the downward side of the flow as the river presses her into the shield. The river blooms red where I sit and in other small places, then it is washed away, then blooms again.

That calls creatures who'd like to eat whatever is offering itself to the river. So then I'm also using the energy to send them away. Noriko is not for eating, I tell them. Some are harder to discourage than others and I have to forcibly remove them to other places. They and the flotsam are enough of a distraction for a while from her form in front of me, which I'm terribly embarrassed to have to see. She doesn't care nor will she in the end, I suspect.

I'm almost to dozing myself when Noriko interrupts her panting and moans, "Izark. Izark." She's become conscious enough to be aware, then. 

I lift her head up just far enough for her ears to be uncovered. "Noriko, I am here." She's slipping from my grasp at this angle and I have to shift my hands to keep her here as I lower her head again. She gasps in pain and I'm sorry, but there's little I can do. She passes out again after a short time. I would be chilled for sitting here this long except that she's actually warmed up the water that pools around me and her head.

I float in the water. My head is being held so I don't float away and don't drown, but inside I'm still so hot I'm panting. It hurts so bad, hot tears are slipping down the sides of my head to join the water rushing past me. I can't see how a human body can survive such high temperatures for any length of time and I'm afraid.

I know I've been in and out of consciousness and am sure I've been here for a very long time, here in the cold river. "Izark. Izark," I moan, wishing he could save me from this, too. I suppose he is, since he's doing what he can.

My head is lifted out of the water just enough to uncover my ears. "Noriko, [here am I]," his voice is calming. His hands shift on my head and I gasp in pain, but it lets me know he really is here with me. The overall pain is too much and I lose consciousness again.

It's when the water close to Noriko begins to cool that I realize that her head is cooling as well. In only a few more minutes her panting slows until they're only breaths of pain. I chance letting go with the upward side hand and brush water lightly over her face to cool the skin there. I would regularly lower her face into the water, save her nose, to keep the flesh there from puffing up too much. I can tell it's firmer now than it was, and I'm relieved.

While the fever would've lasted a full turn of the planet at least for those of my world, she's recovering at only a quarter of that time. I've come to this unwanted duty with no expectations, however, so will obediently do what needs to be done for as long as her body not of this world requires me to.

Within the hour I can pull Noriko from the river and carry her again without breaking her skin. I hope this world will heal her head wounds quickly, too. She's just warm enough to dry herself with her own heat by the time I reach her bed. I leave her uncovered for now and return to the river to wash my hands.

I don't watch the flow of the river when I'm done, but return to her side and cover her lightly with her blanket again. I'm quite sure that her temperature was much higher than ours would ever be. She's just lived through a compression of what we would have.

I didn't get any of the childhood diseases. I can't get ill, other than my personal ailment, just like I can't die because I heal too fast. I review the other three diseases on the list. Two of them require a poultice. I take out the herbs and begin to grind them. If that first one was fast, I'll want to have these already prepared.

I'm breathing normally again. The air is still and quiet. My skin and body are no longer too hot, in fact I feel a little cool. The blanket wrapped tightly around me is comforting. I can feel Izark is close by, but resting. I drift back to sleep, comforted by that warmth, too.

I'm just finishing that when she's already waking up again. I'm a little surprised that we might go through all of them in one big trouble. Somehow I was thinking they'd come with days between them. I shudder to think that they could all come at the same time. That would be very bad. It's good the fever is already done, should any of the others do that.

Noriko goes from waking up to panic. "Izark! Izark!" She curls up around her belly, then arches in pain. "Insects inside. Help!"

My eyes go wide. I'm not ready for this one, either. I swallow but go to her and remove the blanket from her. I put my hand on her. She grabs my hand and places it over her upper abdomen. It's as if she already knows what I am. I swallow again. She's in pain but doesn't have her eyes open. I close my eyes and feel for the creatures that are growing inside of her. They're growing quickly and move around just as quickly. So I'm quick to kill them with my energy.

Noriko immediately moves my hand to a new location and I do it again. I'm using only a very small amount of energy, not wanting to hurt her insides, so she has me do it another three times. She relaxes and an expression of complete distaste crosses her face then it relaxes as she passes out again, her hand relaxing to fall off of mine. I cover her with the blanket, then move quickly to find a proper place for what's at the end of this disease.

My eyes fly open. I have a weird, very unpleasant sensation in my belly. It feels like I've got insects crawling around -- inside -- my intestines, or the space around them. "Izark! Izark!" I'm panicked again, curling around my belly, then arching instead when it hurts to crunch down.

"[Insects inside! Help,]" I gasp when he's next to me. He's pulling the blanket off me. He puts a hand on me and I grab it and move it to where I can feel them the most. I'm not sure what he does, but it helps. They stop moving. I breathe for a minute, then move his hand again to the next place I can feel movement.

Another three times and I pass out again. I'm grossed out on the way, though. I hope those weren't really real living creatures. My least favorite is the horror, and all I can think about is my brother and his friends talking about Aliens, the movie.

I'm trying to not think about what's inside of her. It isn't what would be inside of us. It's changed to be something different in her, more like tiny monsters than the parasite we would fight. I pluck up the soft leaves that we use in the wild, set them next to the log I've placed behind bushes close enough to get to quickly, far enough away we don't have to be accosted by the effluence.

She's calling for me again, again sooner than I expected, and again she has me kill the parasites until they're gone. This time it was lower on her belly. Her skin is smooth and her belly muscles not so soft as they were when she arrived. Riding demands the belly muscles work, so those muscles are more toned on her now.

I'm glad to have her pass out again, so I can stop touching her and cover her. I go and dunk my head in the river to cool it. This is very hard. I plunge my hands into the river next, up over the wrists, to cool them also. My hand still clenches, not wanting to give up all the warmth.

I slump. She's going to defeat me in just having done this. But I can't let her, and I can't let myself lose to things that aren't what I really want. There are times I must drop my burden for a moment, but I can't stop carrying it, or I'll lose and the whole world will lose. I firmly remind myself that I am the Sky Demon of Destruction if I don't fight. I focus on that until my heart can harden again.

Then she's calling to me and I take that shield with me as she places my hand over her lower belly. I focus only on the job I need to perform and nothing else. I cover her again, and pull the soap from my bag that I bought for this time before we left Calco. It's perfumed with herbs that will be cleansing and that I find pleasing.

I place the soap near the edge of the river and return to sit by the fire to finish drying myself off from sitting in the river before. I'm amazed that this one has gone so fast as to not even have allowed my clothes to dry yet.

The last call comes, and this time I'm relieved that she places my hand on her lower back. There are very few creatures inside her this time and I'm sure this is the last time. Still, when she lets go, I make sure, working carefully from her upper back and down, checking to make sure and killing any tiny ones that have survived. It's easier to work on her back. I don't even bother to cover her this time.

Three more times we have to do this, though by the last time there are only a few wiggling in the lower colon and I put his hand on my back that time, towards my tailbone. The next time I wake up, I have to go to the bathroom very badly, but Izark is ahead of me.

I was right. Not much time has passed and her eyes are wide open. I immediately pick her up before she can even say anything and have her to the hidden log. I set her on it and leave quickly. 

I poop out more than I've ever pooped in my life. It smells nasty and I don't look. It was both lumpy and watery and all I can think about is overly large-sized ant body pieces being ejected. I hope they all are, and that I'm so wrong about it. There's a stack of large leaves on the ground near my feet. When everything has come out that's going to, I use them to clean up as best I can. I can't stand, so I go to my hands and knees and crawl out from behind the bush.

I studiously ignore the sounds, and blow away the smells until Noriko comes crawling out from behind the bushes. My heart goes out to her at that. She is still so very weak. 

I've removed my shirt for this one. I pick her up and carry her to the river and place her in it. While not-thinking as much as possible, I wash her body from head down with the soap, killing any parasites on the outside as I go. The tiny living come out with the dead and cause even more troubles if this step is missed. I firm myself with dire images of what will happen to her (and now me) if I don't wash her in places that are embarrassing but absolutely essential.

I blush but can't do anything about it. I'm as weak as a plucked leaf. The soap feels nice, though, and has an herbal scent that's calming. I wonder where he got it.

When I've finished washing Noriko from her head to her fingertips and toes, I settle her in her blanket again, then return to the river and strip my pants and wash me. I make sure I've killed anything living, since who knows what will happen to this world if I haven't. Then I wash my pants with the soap and it's nearly gone, only a quarter what it was at the beginning. I probably won't ever want to smell the smell again, for all it was pleasant at the beginning. I don't want to remember why I had to use it.

I lay my pants out to dry by the fire and pull on a different pair that's simple enough to put on, then put my shirt back on. I check on the poultice, then pull out the most important set of herbs. I bring my blanket over and find sticks the right length and size. I've set two of them into the earth near Noriko's head when she moans again.

I look at her, but she's still not quite conscious. I look closer and move to get another packet of herbs. It's another tea, and I pour the hot water over the leaves. It's steeped just long enough when Noriko begins to struggle against her blanket. 

The next time I wake up, I itch. I struggle against the blanket wrapped around me, and the rubbing scratches the itches enough, but then they feel fiery and I gasp.

"Noriko, what is it?" I ask.

Izark is crouched next to me. "Itchy," I say, but I don't know that word in his language. "Itches, then ow."

Ah. "Itchy," I supply.

He gives me a word, I apply it, but grit my teeth instead of say it. Speaking made the back of my throat itch and the insides of my ears itch, like I'm having a massive allergic reaction to something. I can't help rubbing the inside of the side of my throat with my tongue and fire is the result. I groan. "[How long?]"

She's much more aware this time and her eyes are looking at me, so I can't avoid answering. I shake my head. "Noriko different."

Great. I'm having a reaction to everything, but my responses are different. "[How?]"

How do I answer that? "...Faster."

I raise my head in surprise, looking at him. "[Faster] recovery...[fix]? Or [faster cycle]?" 

Soberly I answer, "Faster everything."

I'm talking to keep my attention away from the itching that is increasing in severity, even though it's now burning my throat. "[Symptoms worse, better, same?]"

I can only shake my head. It's too different. 

I drop my head, moaning against the itching. If it's faster, it's got to be worse. "[Herbs? Please?]" I beg.

I reach for the tea and help her drink it. She doesn't want much and it looks like swallowing is difficult. When I take the mug away, she begs again, "Poultice?"

I'm not liking that. It's the one I didn't want next. Well, I don't want any of them. I remove her blanket again and can only stare in dismay. 

I'm just seeing his eyes go wide as mine close.

Again her skin is raised, large welts rising. Where she rubbed them on the blanket they are angry and even larger. And they are everywhere. That means inside her mouth, too, given how hard it was to drink. She was talking to distract herself from the itching. I morosely reach for the poultice, hoping there's enough.

It takes everything I have to not scratch. Time is wide and the itching endless. Then a cool touch as I'm lightly painted. The relief left behind makes the heated places even more irritable and I grouch, not using words, since it isn't possible anyway, until all of me but under my hair is painted, and I wish that could be, too.

I pick up a little on my finger and paint the worst of the welts. Her expression goes from relief to irritation. I sigh to myself and dedicate myself to painting every welt with the poultice, trying desperately to ignore the small firm breasts as anything other than more skin raised with welts to tend to. I'm going to burn in a rather dark hell for having to be Noriko's nurse. It really isn't what I wanted at all. I keep the image of the Sky Demon in front of my eyes until all of her exposed skin is covered by the poultice.

She's made very grouchy sounds the whole time, which helped me focus on something other than her as well. It doesn't help me that she's aware this whole time. I don't want to die to her anger. When I stop, she pauses, then says, "Head?"

I sigh. I really hope there's enough poultice now. Trying to conserve as best I can, I paint the ear that's exposed to the air. 

As my first ear is painted, I give a little pleased moan.

I shiver. 

He does my neck under my hair and I moan in pleasure again.

I grip the rock the poultice is on more tightly, then have to remind myself I can turn it into dust and relax my grip a little. I shiver as there's only one more place to paint the skin.

It's hard to paint the scalp without losing most of the poultice to the hair. Her hair is slightly coarse and a dark brown, but to put my fingers into it to paint her scalp.... I take a breath and do it anyway and she begins to hum. If only she could hum when I did this any other time.

I am lost. I've wanted to run my fingers through her hair since she started falling asleep on my chest as we rode together. The hairs would tickle my face and I would have to brush it off. The first time I rested my hand on her head to comfort her, I was very startled at how her hair felt to my fingers. For all it is coarser and thicker than mine, it's also fluffy, like some of the more gentle creatures of this world.

By the time he's nearing half-way done with my scalp, I'm finally at a level bearable enough I'm passing back into sleep again.

For all my trouble and embarrassment until now, I decide to appreciate and enjoy this singular moment. She's pleased and won't kill me, or scold terribly. I'm quite disappointed when I reach the end, the poultice kindly reaching it with me. She stopped humming half-way through the application, but I barely noticed. She's sleeping again now.

I gently touch her hair one more time, then cover her lightly and move to the stream to use the last bit of soap to wash my hands. The poultice is washed off, but my fingers will feel Noriko's hair for some time to come.

I look up at the sky and take a deep breath. The next one is the one that kills adults. It's very difficult for the patient because it brings great fear with it. I've already given her the first dose of the tea, in the hopes that it will help her early because she's going through them so fast.

It was already nearing night-fall when she collapsed. It's now half-way or less through the following day. I wonder if we'll be done in only one full day. Suddenly the wind brings bad news with it. Men are nearing our campsite. I move to Noriko and check on her, tucking the blanket in around her tighter. I set the final sticks in place at her head and shoulders and loosely put my blanket over them.

When the men are where they can see me, I'm bent over the poultice rock again, grinding a new poultice. I'll have to touch her again in dangerous places this time, too, but she'll die if I don't. The lungs constrict until no air goes in at all and the person suffocates to death. The poultice makes the lungs relax and breathe air properly. I make a lot of it all at once this time. I've also placed the herbs for smoking near the tent I've made over Noriko's head. It should be obvious what's happening here and I'm hoping the men will be scared off by it.

They bluster and I must rise to discourage them with words of warning. They do not want whatever it is Noriko has. They claim she's already died and I ask why they can't smell the smoking herbs then. Then they claim she isn't sick at all. I'm weary and it's hard to argue with them.

What an idiot. I'm awake, but I don't open my eyes. Izark can't be distracted right now. I'm such an idiot. I've put him to so much trouble, and I'll bet I wouldn't have had to go through it at all, this is such a fairy tale place.

It's been three of four so far.... I wonder when the last one will begin? A cough tickles at the back of my throat, and I finally can't keep it in. Once I've started, I can't stop.

I'm nearly ready to just pick them up and throw them as far as I can, far enough they can't walk back, when Noriko obligingly begins to cough. I make my point and they back off, making their boastful excuses, heading away as fast as they can go.

I'm to Noriko's side quickly. If all the others were fast, I don't know how fast her lungs will close. I need to be faster than that. She's doing her best to breathe around the desire to cough, so she understands the importance of doing that much. I use my control of fire to light the herbs under the tent at the same time as I pick up the poultice.

I'm barely getting in breaths for all the coughing out, so I force my lungs to behave just enough to keep my brain sufficiently supplied with oxygen. Izark is doing things around me and after a bit there's a scent in the air that, when I breathe in, helps my lungs to open up enough, and the cough to calm enough, that I can tell there's another blanket tented over me, or at least my head and chest, and that a small pile of leaves is being smoked under it for me to breathe in. My chest is still tight, though, and the constriction is becoming uncomfortable.

I kneel behind her and pull off the blanket from her upper torso. Taking up some of the poultice on the two forefingers of each hand, I place it centered on her back over her lungs and do the same in the front, again keeping myself from thinking of anything other than keeping Noriko alive. Palms to skin and I'm massaging the poultice into her, trying to get it to the lungs, warming her and the poultice slightly so her skin will absorb it better. 

Fingers are touching me, painting me again. Across my chest and ribs and upper back -- because I'd rolled onto my side in order to cough better. Then hands, one in front and one in back, are massaging the poultice into me. Poor Izark. He must be massively embarrassed with this one. He hates to touch, dislikes being touched.

A worry frown is between my eyebrows. I'm worried we're still too close to the other times her skin was abused. There are some troubles, but I manage to be gentle enough to not break her skin or cause her to bleed. I will her to keep breathing through the difficulty and listen for the times she breathes in, rather than the constant coughing.

I focus on breathing. The massage and the cooling effect of the poultice helps to relieve the constriction around my chest and lungs. For a while, it doesn't matter how much I try, I can't breathe deeply at all, then, finally, the combination seems to take effect and my lungs open up enough I can breathe somewhat normally.

Suddenly air is rushing into and out of her lungs properly. She relaxes slowly. My hand moves on it's own. 

I'm just relaxing when my head explodes. I grab at it and keen, unknowingly since I can't hear anything -- only feel a vibration in my lungs.

I'm not wrong. There's no time of reprieve. I put pressure at the base of her head at the back of her neck and with a little bit of energy make her pass out. No one understands why, but when we help a patient be able to breathe again, things are wrong with their head. Pain, strange visions, things like this afflict them.

I lie down at Noriko's back after covering her again. I make sure the smoking herbs will continue to smolder for a while. I hadn't really noticed how tired I was until I had to talk to those men. I need at least one hour of sleep. I'd rather not sleep, but her coughing will wake me up. There's the possibility this will be my only time until she's recovered. I don't need another repeat of Calco all over again.

The pain in my head is intense and I'm not glad to be awake again. I moan and try to roll, but there's something in my way. It moves and looks at me. I can't open my eyes to see well, but it looks like a bear anyway so I close my eyes again. I can tell by feel it's Izark. He's fallen asleep next to me and I've woken him up. "[My head,]" I moan at him. "Oowww."

Noriko moves, trying to roll over. I lift my head to look at her, struggling to my elbow and struggling to wake up. It hasn't even been the hoped for hour. She looks at me briefly and complains.

"Noriko sees what?" I ask her.

I open my eyes again to slits and try to look around. "Izark [is a] bear... Earth [creature]."

Well, it isn't one she's afraid of. That's a positive for this round. I rise to my feet, suddenly feeling very old and tired, although I'm not the first. I pick her up as a whole package this time and walk to the river again. This is the other reason we're here. 

I only have to get my feet wet this time, and she only has to have her head in the water. This is called a brain fever, this part. As long as they're breathing okay, the head must be kept cooled as much as possible to counteract the other negative things that have happened to the head.

Before she can't hear me from having water in her ears, I tell her, "Izark will protect Noriko." I sit next to her, trying to stay awake as the water cools her head.

I don't understand why he said this. Of course. I know he will. This time, not all of me goes in, just my head. After a bit, I begin to understand why he said it. I'm starting to see things even with my eyes closed. They start innocent enough, but they begin to morph into things very frightening. I know he's here next to me -- I can feel him inside and outside -- but they're becoming too frightening.

Slowly I can feel her fear rising. She finally whimpers and I put my hand on her shoulder, letting her know I'm still here, protecting her. For a while that's enough as she fights the fear her mind gives her. 

Fixating on his touch is sufficient for a time, then it isn't enough. I reach up and take his hand, tug on it a bit to get him to stretch a little more, and I put his hand over my closed eyes.

I'm surprised when she puts it over her eyes, as if she wants me to send away what she's seeing in her mind. I don't do anything but sit here this time. I don't need to blind her over nothing. It's only the mind fever.

Having his scent so close to my nose and his touch over the scenes my eyes are seeing, even though they're in my head, helps immensely. I try to focus on the stream passing by my cheek and his touch instead of the visions.

The coughs begin again. I lift Noriko and carry her back to the tent and settle her so she'll properly be breathing the smoke. I use my fire skills to get the embers hot enough again, then it's time for the poultice again. She's already unconscious before I even begin that part. That's fine with me. When she's breathing well, she doesn't wake up and cry out in pain, so I lie down next to her again to get what rest I can.

A cough takes me again and I'm lifted out of the water I'd forgotten about. I don't know how long I was passed out this time. I'm carried back to the little tent to breathe the smoking herbs again, but it's short-lived and I'm passed out again quickly, the herbs helping me to relax and the resulting pain in my head not sufficient to prevent it.

Terror overtakes me. I roll over quickly and grab the body next to mine and bury my head into it. My mind is screaming that it's a humongous woolly caterpillar that's going to open it's belly and swallow me whole. My heart knows it's Izark's warmth, Izark's strength. I hold on with all my might, shivering.

Noriko's terror hits me with great force and that is met by the force of her grasp on me as she rolls over and grabs me tightly, burying her head in my shoulder. I wonder if she can tell it's me like I can tell she's next to me. She hasn't run from me yet. But she can't stay here.

My arms are removed and I let out a little cry of fear, but then I'm picked up again and once again my head is doused in the water of the river. I'm clinging to the woolly sasquatch's fur, the caterpillar replaced by it, completely unwilling to let go. It's other hand goes on top of my eyes again and I'm smelling mint mixed with prunes. "God, this is terrible," I moan.

She protests when I make her let go so I can rise to my feet again. She is less afraid when she's in my arms again. I'm sleepwalking, really, and everything is muted for me. When she doesn't want to let go of me at the water's edge, I let her hold my sleeve and put my other hand over her eyes like last time. She moans a distressed comment. "Yes, I know," I comment back. "It is awful. I completely agree."

The words that come to my ears are garbled. "[Wrong smells, wrong seeing, wrong hearing.]" I'm going to assume he asked what my symptoms were. I want to complain about it anyway. "[Head-heart stupid afraid.]"

She complains at me. I can only nod tiredly. Yes, she should be having those symptoms now. She's almost to wrong speaking, too. I pat her arm where I can reach for being held.

Yeah, bear with it until it's over, just like everything else. I sigh, a wavery sort of thing, and nod.

When the coughing takes me again, I shake my head. I don't want to leave the river just yet. The cooling actually helped calm down the images and other symptoms. It's like some strange brain fever, tied to the lungs not quite taking in the right levels of air mixture, or something. 

Izark only gives me a brief reprieve, then has me in the tent again to start a new bunch of herbs smoking. Once I'm breathing again, I realize he was right. If it's a problem with breathing the right air mixture, then I need to have the lungs properly open more than the head cooled.

Her coughing wakes me back up and I move. She shakes her head. It takes a few moments to remember why that doesn't work. I push up and pick her up again. Under the tent the herbs are getting low. I add a few more. It's hard to stay awake long enough to apply the poultice. I'm sure any other man would be greatly appreciating this moment, but I can barely survive it without toppling over on top of her to snore.

My fear doesn't go away this time and when he's content and lies down next to me again, I roll over to shiver in him. He rolls me back over so I'm getting the best effect of breathing the herbs, then puts his arm over me -- both to hold me down, and to let me know he's still protecting me. I finally slip into sleep again.

When she's breathing again, I cover her one more time and lie down before I really do fall over. But she's still aware. She rolls over and holds on to me tightly, shivering and still afraid. I pry her arms off of me and roll over, then roll her back over so she's breathing the herbs properly. I hold her instead, pinning her down and letting her know I'm here at the same time. We both fall asleep rather quickly.

I wake in an absolute terror. I'm not even sure I am awake. I'm up on my feet and running for the cool river that I can hear but not see. All I see are moving shapes and shadows that smell lemony, then rainbow, then curl into orange and frothy beer flavored ferns. I hit the water and dive in to get my head under it, and swim hard, trying to escape whatever it is I'm running from, while keeping my head underwater as much as possible.

I was not prepared for the next awakening. Before I can even come awake, Noriko is halfway to the river. At least she's going in the right direction. I'm up on my feet and leaping into the air. I search the river from there so that I can land next to her. She's actually swimming quite strongly. How she isn't damaging herself, I have no idea.

There's a great movement next to me and I'm being grabbed and hauled up to the surface where I cough and sputter. I wriggle, as if I'm a great fish that's just been pulled up and am trying to escape back to the river.

I grab her around her middle and haul her out of the water so she can breathe. She's like a large slippery fish, struggling to return to the water. I'm irritated, tired and grumpy, not needing this level of difficulty while still trying to come awake. "Idiot!" 

Izark's voice is very annoyed. Finally! I can at least hear right. I fight the irrational fear reaction I'm having and switch to grabbing him, twisting enough to wrap one arm around his shoulder. Whatever reaction I'm having that has increased my strength makes it so that's enough for me to get fully turned around so that I can bury my head in his neck and clamp both arms around his neck.

He holds me dangling over the river, and I'm shivering with fear and against the need to keep running. He carries me back to the shore, the air tasting like curry and cat hair, the vision in my head being that we are walking through a waterfall rainbow with crunchy birds flying through it and frightening creatures surrounding us that only his presence keeps at bay.

Izark moves to put me down and I won't let go. "[I'll run.]" I say, shaking my head, knowing it's true. If he lets go my wild body will take off again.

So. She has some cognitive ability. The warning is appreciated.

I shift her to one side so that I can lift her above my hips. I bend down low over the river, thus making her head be close to it, too. Doing her best yet again, she forces herself to release her tight grip around my neck just enough to let her head fall back into the water. Her hand is now holding my collar, which is a little better, but I don't want to stand like this for a long time. She's whimpering in fear with every breath, but she obediently keeps her head in the water. "Noriko, don't run."

I nod. Izark sets me down. I'm more in the water this time. He's let me hold on, my hands clenched in a death grip on his shirt and that helps. But then his hands are unclenching mine from his collar and I protest in fear.

We're deeper into the water than before, but here is where I've come and begun. I pry her hand off my collar and she protests in fear. "I'm here," I reassure her and move her hand down to hold my shirt lower down so I can sit more properly. So that she doesn't run away suddenly again, I hold on to her other hand, on the far side from me. With both of us holding on to the other, she might be able to fight the fear enough to stay still.

I hope his knife isn't on his belt. It would likely be getting soaked and rusty if it was. The cool water on my head is calming down the odd visions again and the scents aren't so strongly weird either. I float in the world of my head and in the river, holding onto my anchor until I finally relax, then fade away.

When the next coughing fit comes, it doesn't have the same force behind it and Noriko doesn't wake up. I carry her back to her bed and massage the last of the poultice into her lungs. This time, I don't sleep.  This time I sit in front of her where I can watch her face. I don't know if she'll run again, or even remember me. Sometimes the brain fever leaves a person too damaged.

When I wake up, I'm as weak as I was when I entered the state of living through the hell of the childhood diseases of this world. I don't think I made a sound, but Izark is instantly standing over me, a hand on my shoulder. Does he think I'm going to run again?

The breathing pattern changes and I'm instantly alert. I put my hand on Noriko's shoulder to hold her in place. 

With effort, I turn my head to look at him. It's just Izark, just the sky. I sigh and close my eyes again. I'm breathing fine as well. No funny smells, just the water, wood fire, and Izark. "[I think it over, Izark,]" I say. "[Smell okay, see okay. Hear okay yesterday.]" The time reference is because I'm not sure how to say "last time".

I wish it was yesterday, I'm glad it was only today. "Head hurt?" I ask.

"[No. Breath okay.]" I answer. He sits down next to me with a thump. I open my eyes and he's looking at me, worried even still.

I slump next to Noriko, resting my head on my hand to just watch her. She slowly opens her eyes again, as weak as when she collapsed at the beginning. Slowly her hand moves to the one I'm resting on the ground between us. It just covers mine, no strength in it at all.

"Sheshe, Izark. [I'm sorry. You worked hard.] Sheshe." My eyes close. As I slip into recovery sleep, I feel the hand mine is on top of turn over and gently take mine, wrapping it in warmth. It doesn't register enough to remember later, except that his present warmth was still beside me.

It's rather as I thought. She'll never comment nor show embarrassment for what we've just been through. She'll only be grateful to have survived and that I was willing to make that happen at all. I turn my hand over and gently wrap my fingers and thumb around her hand. I can't say if this has been more bonding or damaging or both. I gaze at her, my heart aching, until I need to complain.

"Whatever you are: fate, destiny, some god. Whatever it is that's brought the Awakening into my life to cause such trouble: you owe me. You owe me for stealing my future to make me into something evil that I don't want to become. You owe me for these times that make my heart hurt and long to keep her. You owe me if I have to kill her in the end. And you owe her for not even letting her know what evil she was brought here for, when she doesn't want it any more than I do." I bury my head in my arm resting on my raised knee. 

Whatever it is has kept her alive again, even for all she worked so hard to die in this last day. But the doctor's words scold me: "She's done this because she wishes to live." I cringe in pain. I, too, wish to live.

I desperately don't want this bond that's forming. I'm afraid to face it. I don't want her to see me turn into some evil monster. I don't want to hurt her if I do. If she's too close to me when I become Destruction, will she be the first thing I kill? I couldn't bear it. Not any more.

Will I be able to walk away?

I'm desperate with the desire to keep it, for love of any kind, for any kindness, ...for her warmth and acceptance. 

I cry silent tears of despair.

Chapter Text

I'm nervous, but I don't let it show. Noriko is excited and can't restrain herself. She doesn't do that very well, I've decided. That makes me nervous as well, but it makes it obvious that she likely isn't hiding anything evil about her nature from me. It would be hard to hide that for as long as we've traveled together now. People can be one way when with only a few people and another way when with many. She's just as unrestrained, if not more so, when we're with other people.

I would have to hold her down to restrain her in this town today, so I don't. That means everyone gets to see her excited, happy face at getting to shop in the market for the first time. I'm getting a lot of "knowing" looks from the shopkeeps. They're sure I've brought my girlfriend out for a shopping trip and have told her I'll pay for anything she wants. That's how excited she is.

She's been learning very quickly, studying hard, and she's excited to get to practice speaking and listening to general conversations. I'm also listening to the conversations. We've just crossed the border into Zago, the country Gaya lives in. I need to understand the current political environment and I want to know what the current gossip is about the two of us.

Soldiers patrol the border, but most of the political unrest, like most countries right now, is internal. That's a little worrisome. Gaya lives in the town closest to the capital city, so perhaps where she is won't be so caught up in the turmoil. I'll want to be cautious the closer we get I suspect. 

There isn't much more said about the Awakening coming to the Sea of Trees. People know it's happened, but no one knows what it is or where it might be. The most gossip is wondering who or what country got to it first and when the world will start seeing signs the Sky Demon is coming.

There are lots of frightened whispers about the Sky Demon. It isn't all that new, it's just picked up again now that the sign was given of the Awakening. It still depresses me, so I stop listening closely, only keeping aware of any new thing that might be said.

I purchase herbs first. There are just a few that are hard to come by in the wild. Noriko has yet to become ill other than the diseases she gave herself. On days I'm grumpy, I believe that she'll never be ill and never needed to be ill to begin with. She still gets minor cuts, bruises, and burns.

After the episode of the itchy and painful welts, if she's stung by an insect that makes her itch, she welts up very badly. The best medicine for that is one I have to buy, and I'm willing to pay for it. She's very grumpy when she itches horribly. I make sure that cream is in her bag. I don't need to touch her that way again.

I purchase second some necessary food-stuffs. There's one particular spice she likes that I buy in larger quantity this time. There are fruits here that aren't in the wild that are sweet and juicy. I explain to her as best I can what they're like and how to select good ones that aren't under-ripe or rotting. She carefully chooses out one each of three of them, then asks me what fruit is my favorite.

I point to a different one. I don't have a favorite. I want to know how she'll use her new knowledge. She carefully picks through the fruits, lightly pressing on them, smelling them, until she settles on one. She takes it to the shopkeep and one more time I haggle with her, speaking slowly enough Noriko can follow along and learn. She pays very close attention.

When the fruits are purchased, she hands me my "favorite" and puts the other three in her bag for now. I begin to reach for my bag and she interrupts me. "Show me, how to cut fruit."

I shove down my internal reaction to her wanting to start with "my favorite" and pull out my knife. I show her as we walk slowly down the street, handing her the first slice. I want to see what her reaction is. Her mouth puckers just a little. "Is that right taste?" she asks me, wanting to know if she chose a ripe fruit.

I eat the next slice, considering the flavor. I nod rather practically. "Yes. It's ripe." Inside I'm laughing at her.

"You are bitter," she frowns at me.

I smile at her and she knows I'm teasing her. She blows out a puff of air in slight frustration that I've teased her again. I stop at a close stand and purchase a small bag of the right seasonings. I cut another slice of the fruit and dip it in the salt-sugar mix and hand it to her. She glares at me slightly, but takes it and tastes it anyway.

She's too inquisitive, but I'm being kind this time. The mixture of flavors delights her, and then me as I eat my dipped slice of the fruit. This is why I like this fruit, for all it is bitter. With the right additional things it's intriguing and a delight to experience. We have it eaten fairly quickly, and I save the leftover seasonings. We can add them to one of our meals later.

We've reached the end of the market street and have seen all the shops there are to see. I turn us around and challenge her. "Your turn."

She's ready. She studied the coinage closely before we came. She smiles, just as excited to try her own hand at shopping. I would have thought she'd be nervous to be using her still limited speaking skills. "Ah, but, negotiate, I can't. It's okay?" I nod. I've given her what coin I can allow her to spend, and I want to know what she'll do with it.

I'm in heaven. We were gifted things in Calco but this is the first time since then that Izark is taking me into a town to shop. He wants to get things that he's low on, like foods and herbs he can't find on his own. I'm wearing the necklace he chose for me and two other small pieces I like because when I woke up he was wearing the earpiece. That was what let me know a town was next. We don't need to wear baubles when it's just us, but when we're going to be with other people -- as I said before -- it's common practice.

I want to practice listening and speaking, as well as start to get a handle on their money and how it works. We've carefully talked over the value of each coin and he's given me some to spend on my own. I listen carefully as he negotiates for the things he wants first, letting me pick a few fresh fruits and vegetables to try. When he's done, he turns to me. "Your turn."

I smile happily. "Ah, but, negotiate, I can't. It's okay?" He nods. He knows my language skills aren't up to that yet. I head straight for the shop just off the main market street that has scribe tools. He walks in, stares around, then turns away from me and puts his hand to his mouth. I pinch him. He's laughing silently at me again. Then I'm ignoring him, headed for the bound books.

She walks us back about a third of the way down the street, then turns off onto a side street to enter a door just off the main path. I look around, then have to turn away from her and cover my mouth to not let out the laugh out loud. She's come straight for the stationary, the scholars shop. She pinches me for laughing at her, then pridefully ignores me as she inspects all of the bound blank books closely until she picks one out.

I'm already almost out of paper in my journal. They're expensive, so I carefully study quality and size and pick one out. I'm also almost out of ink and the pen nibs have split almost too much to use.

She carries it to the counter and sets it to the side to not be in the way. Then she gets the attention of the shopkeep and begins to ask questions. I watch her from a distance, and again I see the Teacher. This time she's learning, but it's still the Teacher. She wants to know which ink is best for what and lasts how long.

I get a lecture on qualities of ink, carefully listening and asking questions, pulling Izark in for words that just won't translate. I pick out one ink that will last a reasonably long time, but isn't too expensive in quantity, because I want a lot. Then I research the nibs, pulling out my pen so that they can help me find one that fits the handle.

When she's satisfied she understands, she gets into her bag and pulls out a pen she got in Calco. She asks questions again, and this time the lecture she absorbs is one on the nibs. The shopkeep shows her how a new good one absorbs the ink and writes neatly. Then he shows her where hers is cracked and how that makes it absorb ink improperly and leave messes behind.

The shopkeep is patient with her questions because he wants to be able to sell her the best quality of everything he owns, like all shopkeeps would. She studies all levels of qualities, though, wanting to know the full range of what's available. Finally she wavers over two inks and three nibs. I'm rather surprised when she uses even her nonverbal skills to get the shopkeep to lower his prices on the more expensive things that she would rather have.

She needs the higher quality things for how long we'll be gone from towns and she understands that. She also wants lots of ink for that same reason, so quantity becomes part of the negotiation. 

The proprietor names a price. I haggle, mostly silently, using the fact that I've picked out things originally I didn't really want, until I have what I really wanted at a price I can afford. I pay and we leave.

When she's satisfied, she counts out the coin properly and the shopkeep wraps up her purchases for her. They disappear into her bag and she smiles up at me. When we've left the shop, I say, "You negotiated well, Noriko."

I grin at him. "I have good teacher." His blush is all I needed and I'm skipping on to the next place I saw.

It takes me a moment to realize she isn't talking about the Teacher inside of her, but about me. There's almost no comparison because it's like my strength to hers. I blush. Her eyes light up and she's skipping away. I groan and roll my eyes. She was teasing me back in return from before.

The next place Noriko goes is for a clothing shop. I would expect a girl to go there next, but she again surprises me. This strange being, the Awakening, does not begin to sift through the flowing dresses, nor even the embroidered ones, for all her eyes couldn't leave the clothing of the merchant in Calco.

I'm headed for the fabric. I ask for general pricing, to get a feel for how much the different kinds cost. There are thin, flexible fabrics, like thin silk or satin. There are rougher ones like mohair, only thinner. Some seem to be like wool, although I haven't seen the equivalent of sheep here yet. I finally find some that are like cotton and learn they're the least expensive. Perfect.

Her eyes light up with what can only be a conniving look, the first time I've seen it on her, as if she's just found her mark and will now have it in hand shortly. She looks over the fabrics again, but this time her eyes come frequently to me, as if measuring me now along with the fabrics. Then she comes over to me and takes the back of my sleeve and indicates she's done and ready to move on.

The shopkeep is disappointed, but I pretend to not notice any more than Noriko and we're off again. This time...to another shop the same as the previous one, but at the other end of the market street. I raise my eyebrow at her slightly. This time, she spends less time reviewing the fabrics and more time learning their prices. Again we leave without her making any purchases.

I'm quite curious now. I know she doesn't have enough coin for very much fabric. It would take all of the rest of it for a simple dress already made. Her head turns this way and that, listening, and then we're headed out of the market district again and for a back street. The sound of hammer on steel gets louder and my own feet are interested, although I don't know why she wants the blacksmith.

When we arrive, Noriko asks the blacksmith if his wife is available to talk to her, and if he has any daughters. He actually has two and she asks to speak with them as well. He sends in one of his sons to fetch them from his house, then looks at me quizzically. I shrug. I don't know what Noriko's doing either. However, I do have my own business with him if he has time. I pull my sword from my belt.

"We've been on the road for a while," I say. "Would you be willing to look it over and maybe sharpen it while she's doing whatever she's doing?"

"Sure," he holds out his hand. "Is she your wife, or girlfriend?"

"My employer's daughter. I'm taking her to her aunt's house."

The blacksmith looks over at Noriko as his wife and daughters arrive. He looks confused as Noriko pulls paper, ink, and pen from her bag and moves to a far table to be out of the way.

"Her mother left Zago with a sailor from one of the far islands and it's her first time here. Her father dropped her off at the port and hired me there. He had to return with the ship. I've been teaching her how to speak the language. She still prefers to draw when there are words she doesn't know," I explain.

That satisfies him enough that he focuses on my sword again. "This is a nice blade," he comments. Then he frowns at it. "It's seen some heavy blows, though. It's going to take some reheating and repair."

He isn't wrong. I fought against Keimos with this blade. All of my swords see heavy damage when I use energy through them, but I was thinking that plus Keimos' blows would have done worse things. I sigh, dicker, and still have to pay more than I want. It will be worth it, those repairs, so I try to not complain.

While the blacksmith gets to work, shoving the sword deep into the coals of the fire and using the bellows to bring the coals up to temperature, I turn to see what Noriko's doing. She has the ladies clustered around her, watching as she's doing something in her lap with what seems to be cloth. Her head comes up and she smiles at the ladies. They smile back, just as excited as she's been all day.

She asks them another question, and the wife is headed for the blacksmith. She drags him over to see what Noriko's shown them. He's suddenly also intrigued and asks to handle something very small. Small stones appear in my stomach and I move closer. The blacksmith's mutters and then questions don't help. They make the stones larger, but I'm already too late.

I show the women the value of safety pins, they talk the blacksmith into wanting to learn to make them. I negotiate the sale of the concept for a nice pair of scissors that will last a good long time and a gift from the women of three needles each. I'm quite pleased with my trade, although I feel a little bad. I've not let my first blacksmith be the only one who knows the trade secret, and I probably didn't get enough from this blacksmith.

I can only stand to the side and watch as Noriko negotiates with great ability until there's an agreement between them. A drawing passes to the blacksmith and an expensive pair of scissors and some coins pass from him to her. The wife and each of the daughters disappear as the paper disappears into the front of the blacksmith's jacket and he returns to check on the temperature of my sword. He's too excited by what he learned to look at me again. Is this why the blacksmith in Calco talked to her at the celebration? Did she do this there?

I've seen how the Teacher in action influences others from outside of it now for the second time and I'm unhappy. She's used her skills to win for herself a thing she wants without spending coin, a good thing generally. What she's traded for it worries me. This time it's knowledge not of this world.

The ladies return with three sewing needles each and hand them over to Noriko. She adds them to her scissors in her bag and I understand why she was looking at fabric now. She knows how to sew, and she knows that I ruin clothing. I slump against the wall of the blacksmithy. She's thinking of me, again, but not thinking of how dangerous little things like that are ...because I haven't told her why to be careful. She'll ask why and I don't want to tell her, even still.

The ladies continue to talk to her while the smith works on my sword. It isn't until we leave -- me paying a third of the price he initially told me making me worry even more -- that I can hide us in a back alley and tell her. "Noriko, you can't tell them about things of your world. There are those that will come asking questions and because they've seen you, they will tell. That's dangerous." I don't know how to say it any other way. We still don't have enough common words, and I'm not the Teacher she is, to convince her with strength. 

I bite my lip. Lots of reasons and excuses as to why it's okay come to mind. Yet...he isn't wrong, necessarily. If he showed up on Earth with his current skill set, every government would want him. I'm just a student, sure, but I do have knowledge no one else does, not that any of it would help a government here. "I'm sorry, Izark. I won't again."

She promises with clear worried eyes. It's the best I can hope for, I suppose.

We return to the fabric shop that had less expensive fabric and Noriko again negotiates very well, from the beginning. She picks up a random fabric and holds it up to me and looks at me and the fabric, then shakes her head and puts it back. She drags me to several places and fabrics doing the same until the shopkeep finishes with the current customer and comes to talk to Noriko.

After a bit, I finally admit I'm looking for just a little to make Izark a bandanna, and I'm looking for coloring. She tries to push all kinds of fabrics onto me after that, but I insist on ‘cotton'.

Since I'd figured out she was going to do this at the blacksmith shop, I play along, being bored rather than embarrassed, which I would have been if I hadn't known. Again, the shopkeep tries to talk Noriko into expensive fabrics. Noriko finally glares at her and points to my sword and makes it plain that she won't waste money on someone who might get his clothes ruined during battle. I raise my eyebrow slightly at the shopkeep and she has to give in that it only makes sense that cheaper materials are more practical.

When she finally gives up, then she wants to push volume onto me. In the end, I leave with the fabric I wanted for his bandanna -- a deep blue, just deeper than the sky -- but in quantity enough to make him a short-sleeved jacket as well, of his favorite length. And a sash of a lighter blue that matches nicely. I have enough of the lighter blue fabric to make an over dress for myself.

Noriko also needs threads to match and the shopkeep points out the rack of spools of thread. Noriko looks pained, then sighs. She says she'll buy less of the two fabrics, then. They haggle until the costs of adding the thread are less and so is the amount of fabric. We leave with two bundles of fabric and two spools of thread. She's done far better than I thought she would.

I got it all for three-quarters what it would have cost. I'm pretty happy with my purchases, for all they'll be simple outfits. 

"We'll need a third bag for that much more," I say to her. "Do you have enough for that, too?" Noriko's challenge glint comes to her eyes and she opens her bag and stuffs it all into her bag. She neither rises to the greed of having more (even if it is only another bag), nor does she fall for the tease.

I have a few coins left and I'm hunting for one last shop. I finally stop a woman in a nicely embroidered overdress and ask her where I can find the threads.

I understand why she didn't ask me. It's more hand work and no words between us to explain it. That woman understands, though, and kindly directs us to a shop off the market way.

She kindly takes us to another housed shop off the main market street and I'm in heaven. Yarn, embroidery threads, even knitting needles. I itch to touch everything, get permission and head into the yarns to drool. 

I'm still watching Noriko, so I see her freeze as her eyes take in the whole shop. She scans slowly and I swear she's drooling. She may know how to sew, but here are the things she truly enjoys. "Touch, can I?" she asks.

I throw a glance at the shopkeep. He gives me a small nod, already having recognized her expression. "Yes," I say to her and she's off, dancing almost in her delight. I lean against the wall next to the door and watch her. The shop is small, so I can see her without moving. To see her delight in things in this way always calms me. I'm able to also find a little delight in things with her.

I'm glad he's finally feeling better. He's been so...I don't know...since my run of the diseases all at once. All he'll really tell me is that they happened consecutively within two days. I know he told me that it was fast, but I don't know how much faster, and I still don't know if it was a lot worse than what they would live through.

She explores the feel of the yarns and threads, like she did the fabrics. There are a few yarns she finds hard to put down and her fingers want to go back to holding them. She finally runs up to me. "Other villages: shops like this?" I look at the shopkeep again, not knowing really.

He looks at me like I'm the one from a different planet. "Of course."

"Can we visit again another?" she begs me.

I put my hand on her head to restrain her. She's going too far in front of the shopkeep. "Later." Perhaps Gaya can take her. She calms down immediately and gives me an odd sober look. It's like she's sensed something of what I was thinking, what I'm still hiding from her. 

He puts his hand on my head to calm me down. His eyes are perhaps a little sad. That calms me down more than anything. "Thank you, Izark. Then I buy some today, some later." He nods.

I head straight for the embroidery thread. I want to decorate his bandanna, and if I have time, the front of his jacket on the lapels, just a little. That, and I have a sneaking suspicion that he's going to ruin it again, or any of the others, and I want to see if I can save them by embroidering the cuts and slices.

I almost could have saved the one he ruined fighting the bandits, except he'd left the hem in shreds so bad it would have had to have been cut too short. I pick out black and light blue threads to match the light blue the sash will be, then pick out a few standard colors, just a little, for repairs to his other clothing.

I take twice as many colors with me to the counter as I need and haggle down to what I want. It's still a little more than I have. I look at the colors one last time, then set aside one of the standard colors. I can get it later. I put down the coins I have and let the owner know it's that for these or nothing. He takes it and I get my threads, thanking him. Those go in my bag as well, and we leave the store.

This time I watch as she haggles, using the extra colors as her push on the shopkeep, until she "sadly" leaves with only a few sets of threads, and having finished the deal by saying she only has "this much, take it or leave it". The shopkeep took it, his gift to someone who loves his wares and can't afford them today -- a mark of a good salesman who knows how to have a repeat customer. Noriko won't be back, but I don't tell him.

"All done, Izark," I say cheerfully. He nods and takes off. I grab the back of his jacket and skip a little to keep up with him.

I stop and look at her in confusion. "Why not a brush?"

Noriko freezes, her eyes wide. "Oh. I forgot. I was thinking of hands busy." She blushes. 

I can get "hands busy". If it keeps her from falling asleep while we ride on the horse that will be a good distraction. I've got enough for the brush, not having to pay for the sword repair as much as I should have. I'd been thinking we needed that purchase, particularly before we get to Gaya's, so I was looking at the prices on our first way through. 

We arrive at the beauty booth and she looks through the brushes. I can tell she'll be happy with the least expensive one. I'm just thinking that this should be simple when the shopkeep's assistant steps up and starts trying to talk me into getting something additional for my "cute girlfriend". I try to disabuse her, but she's so used to the tactic to sell more wares her ears are turned off.

The place that sells hairbrushes also sells hairpins, jewelry, and such things. They, of course, want to sell him a piece of jewelry to give to his "girlfriend", is what I think the word they're using means. He keeps blushing when they use it.

When Noriko picks up on the bent of the sales pitch, if not the words since I've purposely not included "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" in the lessons on relationship words, she slips into the role of "girlfriend shopping with boyfriend" quite well. It makes me wonder just how many boyfriends she's had before coming here.

That makes me irritated in a way I don't like and try to ignore. Not only am I not her boyfriend, nor she my girlfriend, I really don't need to be feeling irrational jealousy for people who may just not exist in a place she can't even go back to.

I grin to myself. I like to see him flustered like this. He almost lets it get the better of his negotiating skills, though. I skiff in and add a comb and a particular piece I have my eye on. Izark finally groans and accepts. I thank him profusely, hanging on his arm as if I am his girlfriend, and drag him away, chatting happily.

It ends up badly for me, having to buy her not just a brush but also a comb and another unnecessary piece to solidify in the minds of the two shopkeeps that we really are boyfriend and girlfriend. As we turn to leave, Noriko grabs hold of my arm, thanking me with sparkling smiles, continuing the roleplay. I'm hard pressed to not growl at her.

When we're far enough away, I impatiently take my arm back. She holds on to my sleeve instead, then moves to take the back of my jacket. That's better. We leave the town immediately.

At the place we left the horse, I turn on Noriko. "Noriko, why did you tease me?" I'd carefully set up a completely different story for us and in that one moment it was changed. I hope not ruined.

"Because we need a [disguise]. Mmm...," I put an air mask on. He doesn't get it. I pace in a little circle. "What is Noriko and Izark?" I ask. He freezes and fear is in his eyes. I'm surprised to get that kind of reaction. That's pretty deep. His worry in town must have things under it he hasn't told me. So, no one is to know you're the Super Knight and even more, no one's to know you've taken the Fairy Queen, hmmm?

I raise my eyebrow at him. "Izark, you say not to say where you find me. You say not to show new small metal [technology]. Is it not good to say I am girlfriend to hide? Is a better way to hide?"

I would tell her what I was saying, but I haven't thawed yet. She's treading on the ground I'm not willing to talk about, so don't have any words for her to begin with.

"No. Is better way. Have you stolen me?" He goes pale. That surprises me also.

My heart stops beating. Is it the Teacher who's suddenly walked the path of reading my intentions? Or is it her intelligence following her own thoughts that have knocked at the door to my fear? Her eyes go wide again because I've given her the small sign she's still thinking right.

I nod, and crouch down. "Family -- husband, wife -- join with other family say yes." I draw a couple, hand in hand, with other people around them. "What word?"

My dry mouth manages to say the word.

He gives me the word for "marriage". I memorize it. "Man and woman marriage join when other family say no?" I hide the man and woman from the other people in the picture by cupping my hands around them, and look up at him. 

She hides the couple in the center of her drawing and looks up at me, the Teacher trapping me. She will have her answer regardless of what I desire. I do manage to pause, but the word still falls reluctantly from my lips. She nods. It also happens in her world for her to have even asked.

He pauses, then reluctantly gives me the word for "elope". I'm not surprised they have one here, too.

I nod. "Izark and Noriko elope. Run from family. Then okay we are together, and we are hiding our meeting." I'm blushing furiously now. Even I'm uncomfortable with the story. I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with the thought he's stolen me, either, or rather that's how he sees it. It makes me want to understand better -- our meeting.

She's blushing now, realizing the difficulty of this lie, why I've not used it. I can't look at her any longer and turn my face away and fold my arms. I'm not even going to be able to explain my preferred excuse now. Not because it isn't reasonable or good, but because my mouth has been shut by the Teacher. It isn't Noriko's fault. I think she would consider it and agree with it, actually. The Teacher has confronted me and my fear has won. I can't speak at all.

I frown at the picture, take a breath to get rid of the rest of the blush, and look up at him. He's as red as me, and looking away, his arms folded. It looks like he's going to take a bit longer to recover. I erase the picture and stand up. I'm feeling...anxious, I guess.

It isn't until Noriko moves that I can move and it's a reaction of panic. I take hold of her arm to prevent her from walking away. I wait until she's turned to see me. "I'm sorry, Noriko." It's a secret that's so painful that to tell you is far worse than the burning curiosity you'll have from now on. I don't want you to leave, you can't leave, and death and imprisonment are the outcome of that secret being told to anyone -- even you.

I can't say that part though. I can only be sorry that she's learned even the little she has from watching my reactions to her questions. I hate myself right at the moment for giving it away, for changing how she sees me, for making her even more curious than ever before.

I look at him, then finally say, "Someday I wish to hear the truth, Izark." He looks away, not able to say it, the fear and worry in every line of his body. I sigh. "Not today okay, Izark."

She gently removes my hand from her arm, willing at the moment to allow me to calm down from my panic, but it's only a postponement. I'll need to decide soon to fight my inner demon and tell her before this becomes even worse.

I take his hand off my elbow, then hold his sleeve cuff and lead him back to the horse. 

I'm grateful she's willing to let me calm down. I wish I could kill her here and now. I wish I could walk away and not look back. ...We are almost to Gaya's.

He pauses, then helps me up as usual, but there has been a change today. It makes me sad.

She doesn't look at me again, nor does she have to once we're on the move again. Her stiffness speaks her confusion, hurt, and uncertainty. I cannot answer it.

Chapter Text

I cut the fabric at a quiet campfire that night. We aren't speaking, although it isn't a mad quiet. More of a mutually sad one, neither of us able to breach the new wall. Not wanting to waste fabric, I'm going to make the over dress and the jacket rectangular. The stitching will be easier also.

I do approach him and make him stand long enough for me to get the correct measurements for the cutting, where the sewing for the armseye needs to stop, and where the collar starts and stops on either side of the front. Then I let him go. That was too much touch for him tonight.

I work with my back to the fire to hide my tears. It's made me feel all alone in this world again. Made me question why I'm here at all. When I get done cutting his out, I put it all back in my bag and lie down. The depression is overwhelming tonight. Sleep is best.

We're quiet at the campfire this night. Our routine to set up camp needs no words any more. Noriko is still waiting for me to have the words she needs to hear. I'm still not willing nor able to give them to her. I've practiced all my life to never say them. I can't cross that boundary. 

Noriko spends the time after dinner and before bed working with the fabric she bought. When she comes to me to measure for lengths, we both are very uncomfortable with the contact and nearness of the other. She returns to the opposite side of the fire and I sit to wish yet again that none of this had been handed to me as the path of my life.

I also wish it hadn't been handed to Noriko. What she wants to hear from me would also make her sad, as sad as she is that things have changed between us because she's learned things I didn't want her to. She puts herself to bed early, still not saying anything.

I don't answer the part of me that's both happy and relieved there's finally distance between us -- distance that will allow me to leave her behind properly when we arrive at Gaya's. It's for the best, it whispers. The little boy scowls and hates that side of me.

I close my eyes and also wish I could sleep to not have to be part of this fight inside of me. It's almost as hard to face as the silent one between Noriko and I.

Traveling together this last distance has been hard. I've been using the space between us to reinforce my determination to leave her behind. She doesn't want to see me turned into Destruction, nor does she wish to be used that way by others. I don't wish to destroy her, nor the rest of the world. It's far past time we separated so that we can fight our destinies properly. Yet, I'm constantly in turmoil at these thoughts. The calm of just being together is gone.

Every time Noriko becomes irritable, she begins to open her mouth, then stops, clamps her lips firmly together, and turns away to sorrow. It's because I can only look at her with eyes that fear the question, so much that even the Teacher can't speak. Not to persuade, not to scold, not to try to answer it for herself. I feel no triumph. I don't like to make her sorrow. It hurts to not be trusted any more.

We're headed somewhere with a purpose. I don't know how far we have to travel, but Izark has been pointing us a particular direction. There's no hesitation in him in the mornings, and the evenings make him impatient. I'm about at my limit and have started to snarl and snip. I cut it short as soon as I realize it. There's no point in taking it out on him. He isn't the one who brought me here, he just got to me first, or something. More likely it was accident.

We do less talking on the road, although I studiously keep up at least a few hours every morning and afternoon. My hands are constantly busy stitching. It only took about four days to finish his jacket, in form. Then three for my overdress. The bandanna was stitched quickly, and now I'm working on the embroidery on it.

That's a bit harder. I prick myself regularly with the needle when the horse jostles me. I finally sigh in frustration when it's one too many times and put my hands down on the back of the horse in front of me, just holding my work loosely. I close my eyes. The surroundings have been changing from wild forested land to more tamed land and we're seeing more farm houses and barns. I can tell civilization is nearing. Wherever he's decided to leave me for safekeeping is close.

Noriko has completed the jacket for me and the overdress for her, but that isn't all she intends. She'll embroider them as well. That's hard on the back of the horse, so she's first trying to put it on a bandanna she sewed. That's how I know embroidery is hard to do on the back of a horse. The sewing was simple. The embroidery has to be done with detailed attention to where the needle enters the fabric.

She pricks her finger yet again and sighs in frustration. Her hands go to her lap to hold the handwork loosely. She relaxes and sits quietly.

My ears pick up sounds of men, concerned, then one of them cries out. I turn my head and then the horse. We don't need witnesses who know our faces, but we're too strained just the two of us. Work I may be paid for and company to distract us are perhaps better.

Noriko puts her handwork away, quietly preparing as always to assist me in whatever small way she can. It's one of the small things I love about her. I want to put my head down on her shoulder and tell her everything, to change the distance between us, but that will not change our destiny.

There's a sudden cry in the distance, then several. Izark's head whips around to where it's coming from. The hero has awoken. I put my work away in my bag, freeing up my hands for my knife, which Izark has taught me to keep hidden underneath my sash, and nod. I don't know if he's been waiting for my readiness, but he's turning the horse towards the sounds and urging it forward. He slows it down and hesitates when we get close.

When we're close, I can tell there are too many monsters for me to take her and the horse into, and I slow us down.

"Izark, I will do the horse. You run." I reach for the reins. He hesitates again, but I've been between his arms and hands for almost three months now. I take them, stop the horse, and push him to get off. 

She isn't afraid, and has learned the use her knife sufficiently well. If she's on the horse she can run from the monsters if they come this far. The cries of the men are full of fear. I slip off the horse but look at her so I can see her face, to be sure she'll be okay. 

He looks at me from the ground, his eyes worried, but possessive. "I will follow," I promise. He nods and takes off. If he can take care of it before I arrive he'll feel better also.

I pull my bag and Izark's up off the horse and put them over my shoulder. If the horse spooks or throws me, I don't want to lose my efforts, or his remaining cash. I don't care if we lose the horse, really. It's gotten too uncomfortable for us to ride this close together anymore.

I do briefly entertain running away, but I'd rather trust him. I still know too little about this world, except that "here be monsters" and I'm not capable of protecting myself from them. I send the horse on towards where Izark went. I can feel him, so seeing isn't necessary.

I've been experimenting with how far away I can get from him before he worries about me being gone. It isn't time, it's distance -- for him too. Right when I'm getting anxious, he's coming to look for me. Something has tied us together in this world, and I don't think it's the original imprinting that I started with. Since I first noticed it in Calco, I don't think it was the ordeal of the diseases, either. It is stronger now than in Calco. I can go farther and still feel him than when I first felt him in town.

He's stopped, now. He must have reached whomever was making the noise. I hear calling. Whomever it is has seen him as well. I continue forward, slowing cautiously as we get close, the horse and I. Suddenly, the horse snorts and stops stock still, except for trembling. Whatever it just got the scent of is an enemy to it. There's a rustle in the underbrush and the horse rears, turns and runs. I get dumped to the ground, but I let go. I don't want to go that way. I still need to get to Izark.

I watch the underbrush carefully, where it rustled, but nothing moves again. Slowly, I pick my way towards Izark, hiding as best I can as I go, my knife out and in my hand. It's been a while since I've felt afraid. A long time since I've felt terrified. Right now, I'm just worried and cautious. 

In the near distance are four men, trying to fend off and run from giant insect monsters. The road they're traveling on passes at the feet of hills. The sun has set enough the shadow of the hills falls on the road. The shadow insects have woken and moved off the hill to find food, and the men count. We'll count as well.

I frown, not wanting this, and not understanding why the shadow insects are in this area. This area is populated and tended. The shadow insects don't like areas like this.

I pause just close enough to the road to use an energy blow to knock back the shadow insects so the men can get more distance. One of the men sees me and cries out, asking for help when he sees my sword. I move up to run with them and negotiate my fee.

They promise to pay me when we reach the next hill over where there is a barn and house that one of the men uses when they come to harvest plants in this area. They plan on staying there tonight, now that the shadow insects have shown themselves. They invite me to stay with them as well. I don't comment on that. They don't know I have Noriko with me. 

"I have another client I'm working with as well, coming behind me," I tell them. They should know that much. "I came ahead when I heard your cries. I'm escorting her to her aunt's house."

Their eyebrows rise to hear it's a woman, but they're more interested in saving their lives. I turn and blow back shadow insects from behind us with a sword blow that contains energy. The wind tells me that Noriko is close enough now to see us, and she's no longer on the horse. My heart sinks a little. She won't be able to run to escape. Still, she seems determined to work her way back to my side.

Izark is on the move, but slower than he normally goes -- more at human speed. I head for him more quickly, then see him ahead on what looks like a dirt road. He's with four men, and they're fending off giant skeletal ant/spider things. Yuck. More monsters, and they outnumber us. I follow along as best I can, but without getting too close. I know he knows where I am.

I work at getting ahead of them and Izark works to hold off as many of the monsters as possible. His sword blows are sending more back than they should be. It's new to me and I add it to the list of super powers, but it's one I want to investigate further.

I break out of my cover, not having any choice, then see that I'm not alone. "Izark! They're already coming around the forest on this side! They'll block you in! Hurry!" It comes out in a mixture of my language and his, my worry garbling things. He got it, though. The men he's protecting break off and run my way.

I run across the road and try to draw the monsters away from the road a bit. It works, but I'm nervous. I see the four men run past my position, then Izark is suddenly backing away from his last blow, reaching me in a single jump, and grabbing me around the waist for a super leap that puts us behind the four men. That would be why I wasn't afraid.

He stays behind us and we run like crazy. That works for a while, but we get exhausted after too long. Izark takes the bags from me, since I'm falling behind. We've been riding, not walking, so I haven't worked up the stamina for this, although the fighting practice helps some.

After moving forward for a time, I hear Noriko call, "Izark, behind you! More monsters!"

I glance over my shoulder. The shadows between the two hills have deepened and the shadow insects are coming out in large numbers, larger than I've ever seen. What's happened to this place?

Noriko runs across the road, having been following it but farther from us and the shadow insects chasing us. She lures away the shadow insects that would have trapped us just long enough for us to pass them. I blow away that set once again, frustrated that I can't kill them. They're too large and too strong and I don't want to have the physical changes that would give me away to the men. 

I blow away the ones closest to Noriko. In one leap I'm next to her. I wrap an arm around her middle and leap again to set her down behind the men on the road. Then they're all running as fast as they can and I'm keeping shadow insects back.

There's a cry behind me and I turn to see one of the men wounded by a shadow insect that came from an unexpected location. I pick him up and take care of the shadow insect. Noriko begins to tire and I take the bags on her shoulders from her. When even that isn't enough, and the shadow insects are as many in front as behind, I ask how much longer we have to go. I can't hold the wounded man, Noriko, and use my powers, and she is flagging.

He asks if there's a place we can hide and one of the men nods and points up the next hill. There's a house and barn there. With a goal we get a bit of a second wind, but the sun goes behind the hill next to us and suddenly there's the sound of the insect monsters all around us in the woods.

Izark looks around, worried, and I see his eyes start to change, lighten, the pupils going narrow. He's reached his first-level limit already and is summoning the second level. I'm glad he has it to call on as the insects start to head our way, faster than we can run anymore.

When they get too close, Izark swings his sword, but it cuts a swath clear that's even larger than when he was doing it first level. I've seen this in manga and anime. It's using chi through a focus, and his focus is the sword. Makes a nice disguise if no one's paying much attention.

I stop paying attention and focus again on running. We have to cross over a bridge over a small stream and it looks okay, but one of the insects climbs out from underneath the bridge unexpectedly, disturbed by the first person to cross. It catches one of the men in the side and he is thrown.

Izark blasts the insect, then fetches the man who was felled, carrying him over one shoulder. The more insects follow us, the more are attracted to us until every ten or so steps we run, Izark has to do a general blast so we can keep going.

He's moved to the central front of the group so he can do it in front of us now just so we can reach the door to the house. We practically slam into the door, the first man wrenching it open. We fall inside and it's slammed shut and barred. I'm panting, resting on my knees, but I look up to Izark. He's returning quickly from second level fighter to first level. Good. Don't need to be showing those pearly whites to this group. I drop my head and just pant. 

I set the wounded man down and turn just in time for another man to scream. I want to cut him. There's nothing in this building to harm anyone. "The aromatic stones ...we need the aromatic stones to burn to keep the shadow insects away from the house... but I left them in the barn!"

"I can get them," I say. They protest. "I can do energy attacks that will keep the shadow insects away long enough for me to fetch them. You'll have to open the door all the way so I don't destroy it, and close it immediately when I leave."

One nods and prepares. I get ready, then say, "Now!" He opens the door wide and I unleash an energy attack. The shadow insects that were on the door and around it are blown back. I run quickly through the gap and the door is slammed behind me. I glare at the shadow insects and see if I can intimidate them. They are unimpressed, only thinking of how hungry they are. 

"Aaagghh!" I jump out of my skin. Everyone else does, too. One of the men had screamed and the rest are now scolding him. It's hard to follow when they all talk at the same time. I catch his answer, that there are "stones" not here, but in the barn. The others moan and complain.

They disbelieve, but Izark tells them he can "word". I memorize it, then watch as one of the men opens the door and Izark does with his hands what he'd been doing with his sword and an entire large swath of insects are blown away in a path from the doorway. Izark is out the door and it's slammed shut and barred again.

The men talk, looking at each other. I distract them. "This man is injured. Help him." While they work on that, I think about what Izark just did and the word for it. I'm not sure if there is a word on Earth that's equivalent, since the power isn't.

Also, he said he could do it, already knowing it. It isn't a new "second level" power to him. Just to me. He may have used it in the fight in Calco for the first time in front of me, but I'm not the reason why. It adds to my knowledge, ...it adds to the hardening of my lonely heart, ...and it adds to my feelings of worthlessness.

Here I don't have witnesses. I change to increase my power and send out a wave of energy that blasts those closest to me back. In that way I make my way to the barn and find the aromatic stones. Once I have them, I pull one out of the bag and light it with my fire power. The shadow insects pull back. I put one lit stone in each holder for them around the barn, then hold a lit one over my palm to walk safely to the house where I place them on the holders there.

When I'm back in the house again, they've given simple treatment to the man who was injured, putting him in the bed of this open one-room house. I'm not happy we'll all have to sleep on the floor here, but I can't take Noriko out until morning and the sun sends the shadow insects back to their places of hiding.

Izark comes back with whatever he was sent for and the insects stop trying to come in. Everyone is in agreement that by morning it should be safe to leave. The insects are only a problem at night and in the hills as the night is descending enough to cast shadows. Shadow insects.

As dinner is prepared she and I become the focus of curiosity. I've already told them what I want them to know, but like Noriko warned might happen, the men choose to believe their own stories in their heads. To them, we're also a couple that's eloped. I can't hold down the blush, which is at least half anger, and that makes them decide it's truth.

I turn the topic to what the political atmosphere is here, wanting to know if Gaya's home will be safe for Noriko, and if we'll be allowed to pass through the land to get there. 

"We heard that a rebel army had taken refuge on the mountain and the Kemil troops have taken over the town below," one man says. My heart falls. We're too close to the capital city, then. It may not work out.

"That's right. You guys were taking the mountain trails to avoid soldiers. I heard that some of the soldiers were looters. They're pretty nasty guys." 

"Yeah! This guy could handle them," he's referencing me, "but it might make trouble for him later on...."

"Since you're with your wife, you have to be careful." This one nods knowingly.

I try to set them straight one more time. "I'm telling you, she's my client!" They still won't listen.

The wounded man is sitting up, recovered somewhat. He's looking out the window where the sounds of the shadow insects is distant. "Those things usually stay in the marshland over the mountain and never come this way. That's why we came out to camp. We didn't think we'd have to worry about them." Even these men find it strange the shadow insects are here and so many of them.

Izark doesn't like it when the men decide that we're an eloped couple, but I'm not surprised they think it. I listen to the men talking about the sad political state of the area -- the soldiers in the area that are bullying the citizens, the fighting between factions -- then they mention things I haven't heard before and Izark goes very still.

The wounded man continues, "You know ...people are seeing a lot of strange things these days. They say it's happening everywhere. You know the flower insects in the Sea of Trees? My dad told me he never saw anything like them when he was a kid. Wars have become daily events, too. Something's very wrong these days."

I'm surprised that his father would know about something so far away from here. It's a new thing to hear of the changes that are happening in the world. It must be because we're approaching the time of evil.

"You said it! Worst of all is the rumor that the Awakening has arrived in the Sea of Trees. That means the Sky Demon will wake up," another man complains. "What'll happen to us all? It's scary."

"...flower insects in the Sea of Trees?" My eyes dilate and my heart stills. I'm listening very carefully. Then, "...the Awaken[-suffix] has come in the Sea of Trees. ...Means the Sky [Word] will wake up." I look at Izark, my eyes wide.

I happen to agree, but I wish they would change the topic. That was too much already. Noriko's looking at me with wide eyes, although I've refused to give her any clues this time. She'll have to figure it out on her own. Half of those words she doesn't know. After a sufficient pause, I turn to her and say lightly, "You must be tired, Noriko, after that ordeal. Let's make your bed."

I want to hit him so badly. "Yes, Izark," I say, standing without looking at him, and I can't keep the bitterness out of it...nor the sorrow. "It has been hard."

Her eyes spit fire at me, but she only rises coldly to her feet. She's very bitter and yet still sad that I won't tell her why these men also know about the place she entered this world in. 

I set her bed next to the wall to keep her safe, then set my bed next to hers. The men will still assume we're together, but it's how I protect my clients as well, and we aren't in the same bed. She would tear my eyes out tonight if we were and I would break her neck in the middle of the night ...if only. I can only sigh at my fate yet again.

She lies down with her back to me and stays silent. The men are giving me looks and sharing looks between them. They can feel the same strain that's been with us since the last town, and her cold words were obvious to even them.

I spend much of the rest of the early part of the night trying to figure out what I know he won't tell me. What is the "Awakening", and what does that word mean that was attached to "sky"? What is it that will be woken up, and what do they all expect to happen when it does?

Our beds are next to each other and he carefully put me against the wall and him between me and everyone else, including the door -- not that I can leave with the insects still surrounding us. I sleep with my back to him, his warmth not a comfort tonight; although, I know if we were farther than about twenty-five feet from each other we both wouldn't be able to stand comfortable for long.

Deep in my heart is a thing I don't want to learn yet. A new fear born. If something was found in the "sea of trees", and that's where I came into this world from, and the spiky worms are called flower insects..., am I the Awakening? And..., what does that make Izark? Is it the reason we're hiding who I am, who we are?

I sigh and shiver. Sometimes it's a burden to be too intelligent, to find it too simple to reason out answers. I work hard and shut my brain down, finally forcing the tiredness of my body to win.

We leave first thing in the morning, right after breakfast. We're both wanting out of this house and to put distance between us. The men couldn't help but feel the "strain in our relationship" and spent time trying to talk Izark and me into reconciling. It didn't help, so I politely told them that it was okay. It was just a minor disagreement we would surely work out soon. All relationships have them. 

We're walking in the same direction as we were going before. Izark with his long strides, me with my shorter ones. I'm falling behind, but not too worried about it.

I realize my feet hurt and I've been in a bit of a daze for a while now. I sit down and take off my thin local shoes. The grass feels nice between my toes. I pull out my Earth shoes, with the cleaned socks tucked into them and put the others in my bag. I decide I'd rather walk barefoot for a while and let my feet breathe. Besides he's getting too far ahead and I can feel the anxiety rising. I don't want it to call him back.

I only get about one hundred feet. My feet were already nearly bare so they hurt again. I sit down again and pull on my socks, then put on my shoes. Hmm. My feet have either grown or widened not being in these shoes for so long. I loosen the ties and wiggle my toes. It may not work, but having a different sole is good for now.

Now that we'll be on foot, I'm anxious that we travel as quickly as we can. Noriko finally quiets the men who are trying to get us to reconcile over breakfast, telling them it's a minor disagreement that will work itself out eventually as they all do. The men still scold me as their parting words to us as we begin our walk to the town.

I don't want to hear Noriko's scold either, nor her questions about what she heard, so I walk ahead of her far enough she can't ask. Because her heart is heavy, her feet are as well, but the wind tells me where she is, and that she's still following me. 

I try to calm down now that I'm where I can see sky and not be closed up. Paying attention to my breathing for a while helps to clear things a little. I slow down when the distance between Noriko and I is too far. She's sat down but comes soon enough. Riding means she isn't used to walking, where I've walked these countries for many years. When she sits down again and I get too far ahead I stop and look back, not wanting the delays.

I look down at Noriko's feet as she gets close to me again. She's traded her shoes of this world for those of her own. I'm also reminded that her legs are shorter than mine. If I'm impatient I'll leave her far behind if I don't walk to her pace. This time I walk with the wind telling me how far behind she is until I learn her pace. She varies it a bit, perhaps looking around her at the new things to see, but eventually she gives up and just walks. That helps me because the wind and I can walk with her without me thinking about the distance.

Izark finally stopped to wait for me. I can tell he's irritated. Probably thinks I'm being pokey on purpose. ...Maybe I am, but it was for a good reason. He actually waits for me to catch up, mostly. When he sees my Earth shoes on he stops, perhaps remembering why I wanted to keep them. He turns away and begins to walk again, but this time he goes a little slower, not letting me get more than ten feet behind him.

I play with him for a bit, then stop. It isn't really kind. I really just wanted to know if his sense of distance was really that good. Of course it is. I put my head down and just walk, clutching the strap of my bag where it's slung over my shoulder. I could walk blindfolded behind him.

It occurs to me to wonder why she follows me. She could turn and run any direction now that we're not on the horse. I would catch her, and she knows how fast I can move, but it's like she doesn't want to. Like last night, when the horse bucked her off in its fear and left her behind. She could have stayed there and waited for me to come and fetch her. She could have run away. She could have even moved to where she could see us, then waited. Instead she followed with us a safe distance, then came to help us. Why?

Why does she come back to me, want to stay with me? By now she knows enough of the language to learn the rest without me. By now she should hate me enough to want to go. Is it because there's still nowhere else to go? Because she knows she's weak and needs my protection until she's in a safe enough place? Will she be relieved to have me leave her behind? Once again, I want to learn what she's like, what she'll do if...?

What is this Awakening like? What will I see in the end as my last sight when I'm consumed by the demon inside of me? Will I see eyes that look like the ones last night? Angry, hurt, betrayed, sorrowful? I can't see them being full of evil triumph, glee at my pain. That isn't Noriko. I don't believe it's the Teacher, either. The Teacher desires to bring others to understanding using truth and reason. A creature like that won't see the logic in the Sky Demon being born any more than I do.

I believe that Noriko is like me. If she becomes a thing to awaken the Sky Demon, it will only be because she was forced against her will to do it by evil men. As that settles in me as a truth, one stone is removed from my gut and I'm able to breathe one breath more easily.

I'm glad we've had this opportunity to be together. It's been long enough for me to learn who Noriko is, and some about what the Teacher is. I can be less afraid, less worried for the knowing. I'll worry for her, not having her where I can know and see that she's okay, not in the hands of evil. But I worry even more about the dangers of keeping her with me. I'm leaving her with Gaya because I know I can trust Gaya and she's a strong warrior of the Grey Bird tribe who can keep Noriko safe by sword not just by hiding her in the town.

The town appears as we reach the top of the final hill before the valley it's built in. It's on the other side of the valley from where we're entering it. It spills down from the top of one of the hills set into the valley and spreads around it. There's farming activity in the valley and I can see patrols of soldiers on the roads throughout it. I wonder if they're protecting the people from the increased activity of monsters, or if they're just being kept busy so their commanders don't have to punish them for being bandits instead of protectors. We should try to avoid them if possible.

I turn to see Noriko is still walking towards me. She has her eyes closed and I wonder for how long? Has she also been feeling the wind? When she's close enough for us to talk, I make the wind push back on her and she stops and opens her eyes to look at me, unsurprised at how close she's found herself. That is new. It makes me think of when she jumped from the window in Calco. These little things are odd with no explanation.

Izark stops and I'm drawn to him, stopping when I feel him pushing back on that thread that binds us. I stop, lift my head, open my eyes, and look at him soberly. He's only three feet in front of me. His expression is interesting, but I don't know what it's saying. 

"Noriko. I want you safe. With me is not safe. At this place is one who I trust. Please stay with her." I want her to understand at least that much, and obey me so she can stay safe, so I can stay safe.  Noriko ducks her head, an odd gesture. She's changed since last night. 

I duck my head, then look at him again. "I will stay. ...You will come back." He rears back, his eyes wide. 

I was relaxed to hear the answer I wanted. The additional statement and the look in her eyes make me flinch back in fear. 

I motion between us. "This thread...even you cannot fight. I will wait." 

She denies all my efforts, all my strength put into denying my fate. I don't want to hear that she's discovered even that, all on her own: that we're tied with something bigger than either of us. The anger comes out enough she sees it. 

He gets an angry look on his face. Sharply I say back to it, "I don't like it, too! I would let Izark go free. If Izark was free, and Noriko was free, Noriko could go."

She has understood to that depth. I'm suddenly very alert, as if for battle. "Where would Noriko go?" Has she been staying, not running away, because she can't? Has her own bond to me and our destiny been made so unbreakable already?

I look at him in the eye and don't hide the tears as they drip. "Home."

The pain of the distance between us is held in that one word. I fight to not let my compassionate heart speak. Instead, I ask again, now that we have enough words, "Can Noriko go home?" I would wish she could.

I shake my head. "I don't know." It makes my tears come faster.

There is emptiness inside for a space, then I want to know. Softly I ask, "What would you do if you cannot go home?" Where would she run? What would she do today, when she is different in this new way?

I look away. The answer to that hurts. "If Izark was free and Noriko was free...today...I would die." He moves and I run, moving out of his reach, then past him towards the city below us in the valley. The city climbs up the hills on the other side of it, covering a smaller hill in the middle of it. I'm hoping that if I'm at least going the direction he wants me to, he'll leave me alone.

I'm frozen inside, but at the same time I'm reaching for her arm, angry with her for saying it, wanting to shake her back into the Noriko I know who'd rather live through terrible unknown consequences than die to diseases she might never face.

She knew I would move and skips to the side quickly, out of my reach, then breaks into a run, around me and towards the town where she's already promised me she'll stay to wait for our destiny to bring us back together.

Because she does, I let her go and watch her, the frozen part of me trying to catch up to what just happened. She would die to any monster or man who was evil enough without me if she was free to leave my side, but that isn't what she meant.

I realize I'm angry that she'll fight to live as long as we're bound by our destinies, but if we were set free of them, she would choose to give up and die. I've wished to be free of it my whole life because I wish to live. How can I trust her if we have opposing desires?

My anger is sufficient that I must test her. I can kill her easily, give her the release she desires. My killing intent rises and with it the power within me, with her as the focus. I make the wind ask her if she will turn and return to me so that I can give her what she wishes for.

For just a brief moment, I can feel it. He wants to kill me. I just gave him permission and he wants to follow through. It gives my feet even more wings, because my logical self-preservation side knows that if I don't keep running I'll turn around and embrace his blade with my breast of my own accord. I'd rather die by his kind hand, having come into this world by it, than any other way.

The wind brings back her shudder of fear, her loneliness and loss, but her head doesn't turn and her feet flee even faster from me. Even with the offer being given, she will choose to live. I understand this. I've had many days where the despair was so great that I would have killed myself, but some part of the center of me refused to give in, refused to die, said that the story wasn't done being written, and I would be dragged forward until my despair gave up and let me breathe again.

I release the energy gently and the killing intent, but I do not release Noriko. With one powerful kick I'm in the air and landing in front of her so that she runs into me and is captured in my arms.

I'm trapped in strong warm arms. The thread was pulled too far; the anxiety interfered with his personally chosen emotions; he couldn't let me go. 

This creature is like me. "I don't want Noriko to die. I want Noriko to be safe, to live." If she gives up, then I've given up, or been left to fade away alone.

Liar. You don't get to choose right now, but you lie. You would kill me to have your freedom, if you could. But I don't say it. The same thing seals my lips that makes him say the words. All I can do is sob into his chest, crying again for my lost home, my lost freedom, and now my lost comfort. I cry hard enough, and long enough, that I fall asleep in his arms.

She sobs into my jacket one more time, clutching it as tightly as she did the first day I found her, this time until she falls asleep she's cried so hard. They're the same tears as before, too. Grief, loneliness, impotent anger, despair, fear. They are like my tears. 

I set Noriko down in the grass and pull her blanket from her bag. I put the bag under her head and place the blanket over her. She won't sleep long, just enough to recover. I sit cross-legged and fold my arms while I keep watch. I make the wind swirl around us just enough to keep any creatures away and to bring me the scent of any men who might come upon us.

Seeping into me is a firm promise. If we cannot be separated, if we're made to live out our destiny, the thing that will be mine in the end -- my gift from that which makes it happen -- will be Noriko: living, willful, and strong. She is like me and I am like her. I will fight my destiny. I will hope someday she'll fight hers.

I wake several hours later, somewhat surprised I'm still living. Izark is sitting close by. He wrapped me in my blanket and my bag was my pillow. I'm reminded of how he took care of me when I was so sick. I sit up, pulling my blanket even closer to me. I can't look directly at him. "I'm sorry, Izark, for not gratitude. You have worked hard to keep me alive. ...I will go, and live." I gingerly look up into his eyes. I see a thing there I hadn't understood before.

I haven't been stolen by a kind super fairy knight. I've been stolen by a dragon and am his most prized treasure. He's taking me to a place where I can be kept safe while he goes to make a cave to protect me in. I'm not sure even Izark realizes it, though. Only the blue eyes with the slit pupils looking at me know it. I bow to that presence. "I will be obedient." When I look back up, Izark's eyes are returning to normal.

He unfolds his arms and stands gracefully, retrieving his own bag on the way up. "Come." I rise, fold my blanket, put it back in my bag, and follow him down the hill towards the city, never getting less, or more, than ten feet from him until we reach the city.

I latch onto his jacket again, knowing now that he finds that much contact comforting, and appropriate for my station. I find it comforting to understand what that station is, in relation to him. I find it disturbing, yet exciting, to have received the revelation he's a dragon.

If the Awakening is supposed to awaken a sky something, in my own world a dragon would count. Already I'm awakening it. I know, because it looked at me. I'm not afraid, though. I want to stand with him. In the quest, that's his reward at the end. He found and rescued the Fairy Queen, has worked hard to protect her and keep her. When it's over that is his prize, the only prize I can give him. Myself.

Chapter Text

The city is large and I walk more closely to Izark than normal. Not that I'm not used to cities. More like it's because I'm used to large cities. This one hardly counts as a town where I come from, but I'm guessing here it might be relatively bigger than that to the citizens, what with feet, horses, and wagons being the only transportation. I try to see landmarks and quickly become displeased with the city planning. I won't be able to complete an internal map for a few months or so and I'll have to do lots of walking around town to learn it well. 

Roads curve, acute angle, oblique angle, and dead-end all over the place. There are green places, but they're haphazard, looking more like abandoned construction areas. The building structures scream Middle East, with upper connectors that double as passageways, almost.

There are plenty of shops on the main road, the same here as for Calco: businesses on the first level, residences above. But I can see towards the hill in the center of the valley are more elaborate homes, and a central government complex. I wonder if there's a religious center there also, or if there might be several smaller denominations, if any at all. I've haven't thought to ask Izark if such things exist here. Nothing stands out, though. Around the outside of the city are the stables for general rental use, the tanner's, butchers, and other noisome places, as is typical of this level of society and city structure. 

I can see the usual riffraff skulking in the shadows (the main reason I'm sticking close to Izark), but for the most part the day society is still fairly polite, it seems. Then I remember the conversation the night before about the soldiers being somewhat nasty to deal with. I'll try to make sure I don't get in their way.

Even though my head is making this cool analysis of the city, the farther into it we go, the more I'm trembling. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what will happen to me when Izark leaves. Will I be safe? Will I go into a full-blown anxiety attack and become comatose? (He's never let me get far enough to find out what happens if we pass the anxiety barrier.) Will I be able to live with whomever it is he's leaving me with?

I'm trying to trust him on that one, but it isn't easy. I've never been with anyone else for any length of time except the Doctor and innkeeper's wife at Calco, and that was for less than one day each. I don't know yet how to live in this society. Culture, customs, language, foods, expectations -- everything is different. Even if he wants me to hide, and I want to hide as well, I may not be able to. The entire neighborhood, at a minimum, will know of me. I'll surely stick out like a white daisy among red tulips.

And, what if I need him? Or worse, what if he needs me? I bite my lip. He won't need me. He certainly didn't before. This is his world. I can't help it. That line of thought pushed me too far again. I step forward into him and push my face into his back, trembling, tearing up, trying to control it. I really wish I could get my brain to shut up sometimes.

Izark has walked us to the side of the road and stopped. He doesn't move, just waits for me to calm down again. "Are large places, many people new to you?" he asks quietly.

I shake my head. "That's not it." I take a breath, trying to calm down. "My home city is much, much bigger, but all this is new. I'm seeing too much." I don't explain that it's things in my head I'm seeing. He doesn't need to know that.

He waits for me to nod into his back that I'm ready again. When I step back, he begins walking again. I go back to looking for landmarks and actively not thinking. "Ah, please let me know when we are close. I want to recognize it tomorrow." He nods. He begins to point out landmarks after we've walked for some time. They're new so will need time to settle into my map, but it's a better start than to guess on my part.

I focus on breathing. My heart is crying, wanting him to stop talking, because he's only telling it he won't be here tomorrow. My head is sympathetic, but lets it happen. I need to know so I can stay alive and safe for him like I promised.

The town is busy and Noriko's holding on to my jacket and walking very close to me so we don't become separated. I don't like how many bully gangs are hanging around the streets, and the numbers of soldiers is almost as bad. Normal life is going on, but the background noise isn't happy. It won't be safe for Noriko to explore the city on her own.

She apologized when she woke up, realizing that if I've freely taken care of her even through the diseases she gave herself, that her words were the height of ingratitude. She meekly promised to live and be obedient to my request. That was sufficient.

We're about half way to Gaya's store when Noriko steps very close to me, pulling on the back of my jacket a little, and pushes her face into my back. I can feel her trembling now that she's touching me. It isn't safe to stop right here so I walk us to the side of a building where we're out of the way and stop so she can recover. I'm keeping an eye on things around us as she does. "Are large places, many people new to you?" Always I'm wondering about her and where she came from.

Her head moves on my back, saying no. "That's not it." She takes a breath, still working to recover. "My home city is much, much bigger." I feel my eyebrow rise in surprise. I took her for a city girl, but not from a large one. "But all this is new. I'm seeing too much."

That I can understand. What her eyes are used to seeing and this may be similar, but are also different, I'm sure. I think it's also the fear of being left with someone she doesn't know in a place that is new, all over again.

I fight to not feel with her, holding to the cool distance of the guard who's finally returning his charge to where he's promised to take her. It's also not safe to show weakness in places like this where eyes are already marking us and wondering if we're prey.

When she's calmed, she nods into my back and I resume our walk up the hill of this city. "Ah, please let me know when we close. I want to recognize it tomorrow," Noriko requests. It's a reasonable one. If she comes from a large city, she knows she needs to learn the landmarks to not become lost. I begin to point out the ones I use to find Gaya's store when we're getting close.

I frown. "Izark," I tug on him and make him stop. "Look right, do you see them?" 

I scan the street to our right. There's a group of bullies there and I let my eyes linger on them so they know I know they're there. They look away as if they weren't thinking of anything.

"Yes, them."

I look down at her. Her city must also have been similar. Were they also at war? "You can see those kind?"

I nod soberly. "What do I do in this place if they decide I am prey?"

I get us walking again while I think. Stopping our walk is drawing their attention. "Say you're on an errand and late. Run if you need to. If it's that many, don't use your knife. Keep it hidden. They all have them and you'll lose."

I nod. "My world, same." He looks at me sadly, but somewhat with camaraderie. I just look back soberly. "And soldiers?" I ask. "They are not in my world. ...Well not where I live." I have to modify it. There are plenty of countries where the military mob rules.

So some places are this bad, her's not so much. I suppose that's good. I hope she won't run into the soldiers, though. It's troubling that they're marked as trouble makers. "Hide if you see them." I keep my eyes open and when I see a set of them, I nod towards them.

I look closely. Tabard style overcoats belted by sword belts. Not many people have swords, I notice now. Izark is an exception. I guess it was that way in Calco, too. Some of them wear hats, but not many. "Hats over non-hats?" I ask him.

I nod. "If you're with Gaya, you might be okay to not hide, but if you're alone, always hide." They like to have their way with young women who seem alone. I also don't need them doing that then learning what she is, although I don't think they would. She isn't anything like what people imagine the Awakening to be. It's that she's just different enough that her story of being from an island might not be enough to satisfy them.

"Okay." My fingers tighten a little on his jacket.

I point to the last three landmarks, and then we're to the general store Gaya opened when our caravan ended it's trip here. Noriko lets go and comes at her own pace. Gaya was outside closing up the shop so has seen me. She greets me with a large smile and a hug. She's the only one that does that, and I suffer through it, pleased to see her as well. She's not surprised to learn I followed her advice and became a traveling warrior.

He walks us straight up to a larger general store. Most stores have already begun closing up for the evening, and this one is also. The woman at the door is large, short -- like my height. Izark's stride lengthens and he's looking at her. I drop my hold and hang back a little, coming more slowly, getting another close look at the surroundings so I can recognize this location again later.

Izark and the woman are greeting each other, and he actually lets her hug him. I can't help but feel just a little jealous, until I see that he's uncomfortable with it. He's just tolerating it, although she's genuinely very happy to see him. He seems to relax just a little with her as well. They've known each other for a long time.

She's older, maybe even older than my mother, but it's hard to tell because she is down on the "ugly" side of the bell curve and looks scary. I reach a position as close as I can handle and swallow hard. I don't judge the book by the cover -- or at least I'm trying not to. She cares for Izark, so maybe that's enough.

They've been talking, but I haven't been paying attention, really. She turns to me now and looks me up and down. I give her a little bow, not knowing correct greeting customs. It's ubiquitous on Earth, the most popular greeting, with handshake being second, so maybe it will work here.

I step inside the shop with her to talk to her. Quietly I explain, "Gaya, I need you to watch over someone for me, if you're willing. Noriko's from a far island. Her family died of disease after they got here. I came across her alone and she's been with me since. She needs someplace safe to stay. If you could be an aunt to her, I'd be grateful.

"She's very good with negotiation and would be helpful in the shop. She's always done her best to help me in what little ways she could, so I'm sure she won't be any more of a burden than she has to be."

Gaya turns to face Noriko who followed us into the shop and is waiting on us. Noriko bows to Gaya. "I've been teaching her our language, but she's still learning it," I add. "There are a lot of things about our continent that are strange to her."

She walks up to me, then smiles. I smile back tentatively. She immediately pats me on both shoulders. "She smiled! A girl is prettiest when she smiles." I look at her in surprise, then grin. She looks at me in surprise, then grins back. 

Noriko's surprised by that sort of greeting. I am, too, actually. Then Noriko grins back at Gaya. I'm able to relax. Noriko will know how to get along with Gaya. Gaya turns to face me and wraps her arm around Noriko's shoulders. "Don't worry, Izark. She'll be fine here."

Yeah, but will I be? I ask her in my head.

Gaya seems to be the mothering type, although she's obviously single. I say that because she sees immediately to our needs, overly much so, but has no other family running around the house. All too soon it has become evening and we're shuttled into separate rooms. As Gaya is tucking me into bed, so to speak, she turns to me. "Are you feeling lonely?" She's sharp.

I nod. No sense hiding it. Izark's told her the story I'm an orphan from an island he's been taking care of, and have no home. That story or the true one, the loneliness is the same. "He's in the room next door." I already know that. The other room would have put us too far from each other. Izark insisted. I really don't think he understands the thread that binds us, but I'm not sure why.

"Sheshe," I say quietly.

"This is the first time I've ever seen Izark spend so much time with someone he doesn't know," she says, looking at me, wondering, then closes the door behind her.

I want to throw something in anger. Doesn't know?! I fume. Not only have we spent every day of the last three months together, he's seen me naked for two solid days of them. That hasn't particularly embarrassed me, but it is a truth. You can't get more intimate than that, even if it was a nurse-patient relationship.

I've yelled at him, been scolded by him, laughed with him, cried so many times he believes I'm a fountain, nearly died with him on at least five occasions, not the least of which was the fall down the cliff. How can we not know each other?

I settle down when I remember that there are things we haven't shared, and he has the secret he won't tell me, that I try to not get angry over. It makes him so afraid that I'm sad that I'm so angry about it. I sigh, then take off my shoes. I've had to wear the local shoes into town and my feet ache.

I dig into my bag and pull out the bandanna I've been working on for Izark. It's nearly finished. My hand goes back into my bag and I pull out the necklace Izark gave me in Calco to put it on. I want him close to me although I can't ask for it. I make sure that I have an extra candle to hand, find the needle, and get to work. Night is nearly half over and it has to be done by morning.

It's hard to settle to sleeping that night. Noriko is in the bedroom next to mine. It's my test to see if I can hold still and be content with her not in reach. I argue with myself a lot as I wait for the time I usually sleep. Most of it is spent telling all the parts of me to shut up.

I stay in bed as long as I can in the morning. I want to run away quickly but that would offend Gaya, to not stay for breakfast at least. It's really my own mind I want to run away from anyway. This confused mix of emotions that Noriko brings to me often.

I don't want to have to face her this morning. I don't want to see her eyes as I walk away. I'm afraid I won't be able to go if the Teacher looks out and scolds me, or if Noriko is too sad and her eyes beg me to take her with me again. I can't do it. I can't bring her the pain of my destiny. And, yet, I've put on the earpiece she gave me in Calco, still wanting something of her close to me.

I feel Izark getting up from his bed. I rise from mine, grabbing up the bandanna and my this-world brush and a bit of leftover black embroidery thread. I open my door and quietly listen. Gaya isn't in the hall. I slip out of my room and over to Izark's.

He's standing waiting for me to open the door. Sure enough, when I open the door and slip in he wants to know -- by expression -- what I'm doing. I waited until I knew he was dressed, although he still needs to put his boots on. I walk up to him, looking into his eyes soberly. "Good morning," I say.

I'm mostly dressed when I realize she's left her room and is on her way to or past mine. I stand in the middle of the room and watch my door, wondering what she's doing this time. My door clicks open quietly and she pokes her head in. Without saying anything, or waiting for invitation, she slips in and closes the door behind her. In her hand is her brush and light blue fabric -- the color of her overdress. Has she been up all night working on that?

She greets me but I can't meet her eyes any longer than that. I look away and reply with the same. "Good morning."

That was taking my eyes off of her just long enough to remember why I keep them on her. She has my sleeve and is dragging me to sit back down on my bed. While I try to catch up, she kneels behind me and the next thing I know her brush is at the ends of my hair, brushing out the snarls gently from the ends to the top of my head as she works through all of it.

It is so hard to find chairs in this world. They're only around eating tables, oddly enough. I kneel behind Izark and begin to brush his hair. It's the first time I've let myself, although I've longed to many times. I'm going to take it as my farewell gift, and give it as well. I start at the ends, then work my way up, detangling the hair as I go. It's fine and silky.

I shiver inside, remembering the time I finally relented and chose to enjoy touching her hair through the excuse of painting her itching welts. This can only be that moment returning to punish me. I keep my mouth closed, although I'm tense. If I have to pay for that time, I'll suffer through it and properly pay my penance.

When the tangles are out, I give it many good brushes from top to ends. He's been sitting stiffly the whole time. I expected it, so I've been ignoring him, focusing on the hair. If I pay attention to him, I'll get too embarrassed to finish.

I brush the hair into one hand, then set the brush down and make sure the thick thread is at hand. Dividing the hair in my hand into three strands, I begin to braid it. He sits up stiffly, and turns his head. I put my free hand on his shoulder to hold him still, then turn his head back again and continue. When I reach the end, I wrap the tie around the end until the ends are the right lengths to tie in my own kind of knot.

One more time the brush goes through all the hairs as Noriko gathers them into one hand. She puts the brush down, then I feel her fingers begin to weave them. At that I do want to protest and begin to do so. Only women wear braids in this world. Noriko silences me before the words can leave my lips, firmly putting her hand on my shoulder and turning my head back so she can continue. Is this a strange going-away custom of her world? I wonder.

But the farther down the braid goes, the more my heart plunges into darkness. The ends are tied so the braid will stay in. It's as if the chain is completed and set. Then Noriko's hand is on my shoulder again and she's leaning over me. She places the embroidered bandanna on my forehead, then leans back and ties it on. I swallow through a constricted throat as my neck feels like it was just bound, not my head. It's as if the Teacher has claimed the Sky Demon, all without words. Why have I sat here quietly and allowed it?

I pick up the bandanna and stand, keeping a hand on his shoulder to keep him on the floor. If he stands up I can't reach well. Leaning over him, I place the center of the embroidery on the center of his forehead, then wrap the ends around his head and tie them together in the back.

"Don't destroy it," I say quietly, "unless you're going to come back and get it repaired. At least remember I wanted to be at your back, and am walking with you." I step back and he stands and looks at me, his eyes infinitely sad.

She's still unhappy with being left behind. Even if this isn't a tradition of her world, it is her farewell, her small protest, her gift that I don't want. I rise to my feet to look into her face. Her expression matches her words. I cannot come back, even if she pleads with me in this way. And I cannot be happy that the Teacher has claimed me, to say I'm hers and no one else's.

Noriko bows to me and collects up my bag. I remember how it was her security before when I left her in the cave. Even if she keeps it this time, I won't stay. 

I bow and collect his knapsack so I can make sure his water is full and he has everything he needs. When I reach the door, I look back at him. "Sheshe, Izark, for all things." I slip out before he can move, and head for the kitchen.

I slump to my bed and reach for my boots, fighting the lump at the back of my throat that's too tight. My hand reaches for the bandanna at my forehead, but stops on the way. When it returns to the boot lacings, I pull almost tight enough to snap the lacing.

All of the parts of me that argued all night war within me again. I can't remove what she's done, and I'm angry, but I'm also sorrowful and want to have the gift so that there is some part of her with me -- that part that spent all night making it so she could gift it to me before I walk out of her life.

Gaya's surprised at the braid in my hair. I blush in embarrassment, but don't say anything. Noriko studiously ignores us both. Only her hands could have done it and she doesn't care how we see it. Gaya, for once, wisely holds her tongue. I must suffer through a goodbye hug from Gaya, as she promises one more time to take good care of Noriko for me. Then it's time to leave. 

Noriko hands me my bag. I look at only it. I even more can't meet her eyes now. "Water and herbs are full, as are trail snacks and soaps. Please be kind to your clothing." It's as if my wife has prepared for my leaving and is sending me on my way. I give her a nod and take the bag.

As I walk out the door, Noriko bows. I pause just outside the door to remove the tie holding the braid and shake out my hair. To walk through the city like that would draw too many eyes. As my hand clenches to hold the tie tightly in my fist, I realize she wasn't seeing from the perspective of a wife. Rather she was being a servant.

My eyes mist enough to make it difficult to see as I walk with purposeful strides away from Gaya's store. I don't want Noriko to be anyone's servant, least of all mine. I want her to be free to be whatever she wants to become here in this place. I want for us to be left alone and our destiny to not be written already. I want to see her smile as she does things that please her and fill her with excitement. As my hair brushes against my earpiece, I wish for that Noriko from Calco. I don't want the sober, cold creature she's turning into.

We've had a quiet breakfast, where Izark and I didn't look at each other much. Gaya gave him a strange look for having a braid, and he blushed, but didn't say anything and didn't take it out. Gaya gave me a glance, I think, but I wasn't sayin'.

She's saying her goodbyes to him now, disappointed he won't stay longer than one night, but she knows him well enough to know that he won't stay long anywhere. He turns to the door. I hand him his knapsack. "Water and herbs are full, as are trail snacks and soaps. Please be kind to your clothing." He nods once without really looking at me and takes the knapsack. As he walks out the door, I bow to him. I feel him pause just outside the door, then he's gone.

I wait to see what happens to me once Izark's past the range of anxiety. As his presence slowly fades the anxiety grows and I have to hold myself still. Gaya helpfully grabs me about the shoulder and is dragging me back into the house part of the building, telling me it will be okay. There's a very slight snap, my heart hurts, and there's a cold dark hole where Izark once was. I take a deep breath, trying to relax my heart as I let it out.

Gaya looks at me, a bit worried, but hopeful. I bow to her. "Please take care of me," I request. "I have much to learn."

Gaya's shocked. It was the first thing I've really said to her. I think she was expecting my language skills to be at a much lower level. I smile at her and carefully say, "I would first like to understand how to earn my room and food, and a little spending money. I sew, and Izark is always tearing up his clothes. If I do not make him five more day's worth by the time he returns, he will have nothing to wear but rags."

"You think he'll come back?"

I feel the hole in my heart. "I am sure of it," I say soberly. "Is there a belief here two people are [fated] or [destined] to be together, even if they do not understand it, or believe it?"

Gaya looks at me soberly. "You mean fate, destiny?"

I shrug. "Maybe? Mind and heart words are hardest to translate."

Gaya nods. "I think those were the words you meant. Yes, we do believe in those things." She narrows her eyes at me slightly. "You believe you and Izark are that?"

I pause. "No. I know it." I turn away from her, not able to continue with this conversation at this time. "What can I do to help you today?"

It's been a busy day. I've helped in the store, the work coming easy to me. I'm glad I memorized the numbers early and have experience with the money. Working the negotiation angle from the opposite side took some practice, and Gaya let me watch her today until I was comfortable.

She's as strong as an ox so she handled stocking while I handled the counter. As a matter of fact, there is where she is right now, restocking the store after hours. I'm washing the dinner dishes and generally cleaning up for the evening.

I'm also trying to not feel the empty space in my heart, which has ached all day. I was able to mostly ignore it while we were busy, but now it's quiet and there is just me in this room. I've tried humming, but that hurts, too, so I quit.

I hear a sound in the back hall. "Aunt Gaya?" I ask. She asked me to call her a diminutive form, but I can't quite do that yet. I'm glad she wants to be kind and offer to be family for me, and told her so. That seemed to make it acceptable that I wouldn't use the other form of the title.

I don't get an answer, so I look up. An intake of breath freezes with me for just a moment. There's a man standing in the hall, holding a knife. I pause just long enough to unfreeze, but my throwing hand is holding the plate ready to use as a disc weapon. "That's a dangerous blade to have here," I say. "Is it needed?"

He blinks at me. "Where is Gaya?" he asks suspiciously.

"Stocking the shop. Go look there."

"Who are you?"

I blink at him, then hold up the plate. "Dish washer." He stares at me, then can't hold back a bark of a laugh.

"Banadam?" Gaya has appeared behind the man.

"Ah, Gaya," he jumps a little. I frown. He seems very nervous for someone who supposedly knows Gaya and vice versa.

"What do you need?" Gaya asks him, frowning, "and what do you need that for in my house?" She's looking at the knife.

"Ah, sorry," he slips it back in its sheath. "You're a Grey Bird, like me, and I was hoping we could stay here for the night, but...," he looks back at me, "...we're running."

Gaya glances at me, then sets down the two fifty pound sacks of grains she was holding on her shoulder. ...Like I said, she's an ox. That would smash me to the floor. "I'm taking care of her. You've brought trouble on my house from the rebellion if you're here."

"No! The rebellion is a lie to oust my employer, the Grand Duke." Banadam says vehemently. I turn back to my dishwashing but listen to their conversation.

"I believe you, Banadam. Duke Jeida would never foment a rebellion. What do you need?"

"A place he can hide for the night. Can we stay here?"

There's a pause, and I feel Gaya's eyes on my back again. It's her's to decide. I let her by continuing my chore. "Go get them," she finally says. I sigh to myself. Izark won't be happy if I get messed up in politics. I hope she knows what she's doing.

I've just finished cleaning the kitchen and now I'm making it messy again. The distinguished gentleman, in his robes meant to disguise him as a commoner, looks tired and hungry, so I've put together food and drink for him and the three young men who came in at Gaya's welcome. I'm not sure I like being looked at with that much interest by three at a time.

Soon enough they're complaining about the reason they're here. I'm thinking the Grand Duke should have at least covered his head. His bearing is too noble. He was surely noticed coming here. I sigh to myself again. I'll be sure to pack my bag tonight just in case we have to run.

I can't quite follow all the politics. There are too many words Izark and I didn't bother to discuss in that field. I'll have to ask Gaya to go over them for me when there's time later.

As I put away the serving tray and extra food they didn't need, Grand Duke Jeida says slowly, making it easy for me to understand, "There are so many strange things happening in our world right now. Power hungry people have risen to power in all countries, while those who want peace are removed. The seers are saying the Awakening has arrived in the Sea of Trees." I freeze, my hands on the counter holding me up. I want to hear what he says next very badly.

"They say it will awaken the Sky Word," the word I want to know, "who has terrible powers. What does it all mean? Is this a fate," it was Gaya's word from before, "we can't avoid? Fortunately, no one seems to have found the Awakening yet, but it can't remain hidden forever. Everyone is looking for it.

"But, even knowing this, I can't do anything about it." He sounds sadly frustrated. I feel bad for him. He seems to be one of those who wants peace but is blocked from being useful. I understand that. My home country is struggling with the same issue.

I take a breath. So the Sky ‘something' is supposed to have terrible powers. I purse my lips. That's not much more information than I had before. Just one clue. Izark does have great power, but I don't know if their lore has the same definition as what I've seen. He is the only one to have them, though, that I've seen so far. Not that my sampling is very large yet.

I trace my finger through some spilled water on the counter, randomly doodling in it. I -- assuming I'm the Awakening -- haven't been found yet, but I've been left in a big city where it will be easier to find me than left out in the countryside where it would be harder. I sigh. Even Izark, although he wants me to be with someone, not alone, doesn't seem to understand.

"Are you okay?" I jump. Banadam has come into the kitchen. He's carrying plates in. 

"Thank you," I say, taking them from him and putting them to the side of the sink so I can wash them. "Ah...yes, I'm fine, thank you." I don't look at him. He's another one with long-ish curly hair I want to dig my fingers through, and he's on the good-looking side of the scale, but I don't need to lead on another one that I'm not really interested in.

Sigh. He's already interested, though. He stays to chat, asking about me. I stay quiet, just barely polite, hoping he'll get the idea and go away. He's finally called away. Gaya is taking them to their rooms. When he's gone, I go out to the table to make sure everything is cleaned up.

I'm lying next to Gaya this night. She's had to divide up the men in the other two bedrooms. I suspect she wants to properly protect me for Izark's sake as well, and I'm not complaining. "Aunt Gaya, can I ask for words?"

"Sure," she answers. I go through the words I remember hearing throughout the day, the same as I would for Izark. I'm leaning over my pillow and writing on paper on the floor, getting them all down. I don't remember all the political ones so I just ask for the ones I do remember. As part of it I include the words Duke Jeida (including Grand Duke, the title) said. I tremble inside as I wait for the definition of the word I most want.

Seers is new and it's an ah-ha moment. I ask if they really can see the future. She considers it, then tells me her sister is one in the next country over. I raise an eyebrow. She starts to go into the philosophy, then stops. I tell her to continue. I'm interested. She laughs and says her sister would be the better one to tell it, but gives me a brief summary. I don't quite get it, there are enough new words, but it's a start. Then we move to the other word.

Gaya frowns sadly. "That is a creature of destruction, that has great power to do marvelous things humans cannot do. The Sky word is said to be the most destructive of them all. That he will be awakened by the Awakening and will bring destruction upon the whole face of the earth."

I ponder an appropriate defining word. "Are there many of them on the planet? Others you can say?" She considers it then gives me two other examples. I rack my brain. Oriental mythology is very complex, but all of them of similar mien are called "oni" or "demons". The definition of a "demon" in western mythology is different, but I think the oriental definition fits the closest to Gaya's. So...technically it's probably the "Sky Demon", but I still like "Sky Dragon" better, or even just "Dragon". But I've only seen the eyes, so who knows what it is.

I sigh and put my chin on my fist. "Thank you, Aunt Gaya." I put the pen down and cap the ink, then stuff them in my bag. She'd put it together anyway to give my room to the men. I keep it close by me. If we're found out, I'll definitely need to run and hide. I don't want anyone being able to get to Izark through me. I'll keep protecting him.

As I try to fall asleep, I wonder if he left because he didn't want to be awakened any more than he already was. It seems likely, if he believes that story. He's too kind to want to be destructive, unless he's protecting the innocent or those who can't protect themselves.

Sadly...he's still going to come back. He won't be able to deal with the hole in his heart that I share. He doesn't know what it is, I guess, but it will call him back to me, regardless. I wonder what I'm supposed to do about it. I want him back, too. I tuck my head into my elbow, trying to shove the fears away.

I wonder...if there's a way I can prevent him from becoming destructive. He already isn't, after all. It would be nice to understand the entire lore, not just the common beliefs of those who hear it as rumors ...and propaganda. When there are corrupt people in power, they will use fear-mongering tactics to keep people in line. This could be just that sort of thing.

"Aunt Gaya?" It's been a while...she answers, though. Maybe she's worried about what might happen tonight with her guests. "What do seers say about the Sky Demon? Not people in power, not paid seers. Ones who really see, and say what they really see?"

She looks at me with a piercing look. "You understand politics."

"A little," I grimace. "I know just because a thing is said all over, doesn't mean it's truth."

She gives me a wry grin. "That's the truth." She rolls to her back and looks up at the ceiling. "I don't know what the real ones say, what the full truth is, but I do know that they can't see either the Awakening or the Sky Demon in their scrying. Not a single one. The images are jumbled."

I frown. "What does that usually mean?"

She looks at me. "I'm not sure, but I think my sister said it means the destiny isn't set, or is unknown, not readable."

I ponder that. "It seems to me, it says it's not true the Sky Demon is destructive. It hasn't been chosen yet if it will be bad or good. Is that what it means?"

She really thinks about that. "It is possible. It really is possible." She's nodding, looking like I gave her a bit of hope. Well, that would be nice. I nod back sleepily. If it isn't chosen yet, then he and I have hope.

We're awoken by a crash in the store front part of the building and men's voices. My heart races, and I'm up immediately. I've been well trained by now, really. Rabbit through and through. I quickly stuff my blanket into my bag.

Gaya is nearly as fast as I am and she's grabbing my hand. She drags me into the main sitting room, flings up a carpet, then a trap door. "Hide in here until it's done. Get to Izark. If he'd been here, he would've helped us. Tell him I'm sorry I couldn't properly protect you." The door is dropped shut and I hear the rug being replaced.

I'm grateful, but she should have put the Duke in here also. I move over so if she does he doesn't land on me. I was fortunate and didn't land on anything wrong and there are other soft things down here in the dark with me.

As the noises go on overhead -- yelling, swords clanging, bodies falling, etc. -- I try to put myself back on the raft in the cave, feeling the peace of the darkness and the water slipping by.

Izark, I cry into the hole in my heart, Izark. Come get me. I'm alone again. I bury my head in my arms, slipping back into uneasy sleep, hoping they don't find the trap door, and burying myself under the other bags in this space when I think that thought. Then I really do sleep, my heart still calling for Izark.

I found work before I left the town. I'm down far enough in coin that I need to make it up. It's rare for me to go for three months without work. I had the little the four men gave me for saving them from the shadow insects, but it wasn't enough for both an inn that night and meals. I'll need to sleep at inns until I'm far enough away from the area the shadow insects are in.

I found someone who needed help driving more than one wagon of supplies to a garrison of soldiers at the other end of the valley, closer to the capital city. I don't really want to be that close to it, but the pay was sufficient. They allowed me to sleep there in the hay loft for no charge and only a small fee for the meal.

They pointed me towards the nearest village where I'll look for more work to move me onward away from this place. As I enter the village, even they have complaints, and they are bad. It's as if the closer I get to the capital city the more corruption there is. The government controls the harvests, and thus the costs the people have to pay, and they're raising them rather than see their people properly fed. 

The village leadership delays granting a merchant a permit until they pay a bribe, making his products more expensive as well. A mother bemoans her son's fate to be punished for the crimes of others in power because no one can go against them. It's a sad state this country and the world are coming to, where evil men prosper at the expense of the meek who merely wish to live their lives peacefully.

I'm paying attention to these conversations the wind brings me as I listen for possible work opportunities. I hear feet in a hurry, but am surprised when they carry a person into mine, and with a bump I'm paying closer attention to my immediate surroundings. 

"I'm sorry," a female voice says.

Instinctively, I grab at her arm. "Noriko?" The name is out of my mouth before I can prevent it. The size and the fluffy hair were similar, but the surprised face looking into mine is of a local girl. "Ah, sorry, my mistake," I apologize and let her go.

I put my hand to my face in embarrassment as I walk on. I've become too accustomed to having Noriko with me. To have let down my guard enough to not have even noticed the woman was that close isn't like the me before Noriko came. It isn't bad that I let her through since she's what I protect also, but if I were to let anyone who meant me harm get that close it would be very bad. I would have another set of ruined clothing and that person would likely be dead before I realized what I was doing. She was lucky I only grabbed her.

I didn't need the reminder of Noriko. I'd been finally not thinking so much of her. I need to let her go and move forward. I try again as I look around for anything that might bring me work. Nearby is a tavern. Sometimes those who are in the middle of travels rest there. Sometimes I can hear things that will bring me work.

I head there and walk up to the bar. It's worth it to give up a little coin for drink if I can get more coin from work found. Not that any of it tastes any good in small villages like this, nor can I get drunk. Two who are trying turn to me to add another person to their tales of woe and complaint. Their business was taken from them because they couldn't meet the stringent requirements placed on them because they weren't the favored shippers. I could probably help them, but they're already too drunk and already have lost the work.

As I begin to listen to the wind, I suddenly hear instead my name. "Izark!" I turn and look around the room, but don't see anyone who would know me. I stand at the bar, confused. It almost sounded like Noriko's voice, and rather panicked at that. Am I hearing things now? I don't understand.

As I'm about to try to listen to the other conversations in the room again, I feel a strong presence behind me. Words come with it. "I see. So I can win the prize just by twisting this girl's arm, eh?" 

The wind brings me words to help me understand just a little better. These are from above, on the second floor of this place. "He's the champion of the last tournament. He's as strong and cruel as number three." I'm not interested in facing someone like that, even if they do need the lesson. Most believe I'm weak, being young and thin. It's not a good disguise when I want to be left alone by these kinds.

"Hey some rich guy wants to watch us fight. If you win, you can get a huge reward. He watching us from up there." The muscled man is bald at the top of his head, but the rest of his hair is long. He's dressed for fighting, no loose clothing and it's all simple, even short sleeved. He must be called upon frequently. The "rich guy" is standing at an opening from the second level that looks down on the tavern area. He has several guards and an attendant with him. He's cruel just from this distance.

I've come across people similar to this before. They bet on the fighters, but all they want to see is men hurting each other. I don't need a "reward" of that kind. The wind brings words from those watching from above again. 

"It's obvious which one is going to win, Mister Nada. It'll be boring if the fight is over too quickly."

"Well, sometimes it's fun to watch a fast game." I recognize the name. He's one of the people in contention for the throne of Zago. My stomach turns. What an awful person to have lead a nation. I hope he doesn't win.

A sudden flash of sound distracts me. "Izark!!" It's much clearer this time, and it's definitely Noriko in great distress. Are you calling me? What's happened? Is she in danger?

Regardless, I want out of this situation and place. I grab up my bag. "Sorry, I'm not interested in fighting. Go find someone else." I'm already moving.

"Hey, hey, you can't do this to me!" the big man confronting me says. He grabs my shoulder as soon as I'm past him. "I won't get the prize money until I beat you."

Like that's important?

From above, loud enough to be heard by both of us, and more, Nada says, "That's it! He'll have to fight to save his life."

"You hear that?" the big man says, pulling me back.

I answer him by grabbing his wrist and twisting his arm. He twists with it until I can push on his back. He flies past several tables and I'm headed out the door.

"Wait! Wait!!" Nada calls out. I ignore him, striding out the door and back down the street the way I came.

Why am I hearing the voice of the Awakening? Noriko's never called to me in my head before, even when she was afraid. This isn't my skill, to hear the voices of others, nor to be a seer. Yet...I'm sure she's in trouble. I pause my forward motion in confusion again. Do I go back and make sure she's okay, or do I flee because the chain she put on me yesterday has pushed me even closer to what I don't want to become?

"I-zar-k ...help!"

I'm up on top of a building, looking towards the town I left Noriko in. If I run as fast as I can, I'll be there in two and a half hours. What will happen to her in that time? Will I get there in time?

I blink, surprised at myself, worried about my own safety as well as hers, then I'm interrupted by the feel of something even more than the man I just left behind. There's another man up here on the roof with me. Not very many men can do what I did and jump from the road to the roof of a building. Keimos comes to mind and I spin around.

It isn't him, to my relief. Rather it looks like another sort of fighter as before. I remember that Nada mentioned numbers. There are more fighters who are used for the sport of that slimy man. "Do you have supernatural powers?" he asks, but he doesn't care to wait for the answer. "Come with me. I can impress Lord Nada if I take you."

"Not interested," I reject him immediately. I don't live to make other people look good, nor for them to stroke their own egos.

I'm already to the next building's roof when his words and a wind reach me. "Don't make the mistake of thinking that I'm like that big ape you just saw, pal."

It wasn't my wind, and once again I'm taken off guard. I get a lungful of something in that wind. My own wind swirls up to chase whatever it is away, but it's already too late. "I have a supernatural power. I can control wind. You've already breathed in my wind, haven't you? It's a mixture of green-root herb and full-moon fragrance. Enjoy the taste."

I'm not. My limbs are already not responding to me and I slump to my knees. My eyesight is dimming and my head is swimming. As unconsciousness overtakes my poisoned body, I can only curse at myself for becoming too relaxed. This close to a city brimming with evil was not the time or place to allow this kind of slip up. My last thought is of Noriko. I'm sorry. Please stay safe.

Chapter Text

I cautiously exit my secure hiding hole. The house is a mess, things broken, scattered, but no bodies. Any soldiers were taken by their compatriots, I suppose. No way to know what happened to any of the other members of the house that had been here through the night.

For their sake, I hope the Grand Duke and his men -- I think Gaya said Banadam is a military guard for him and the other two were the Duke's sons -- are still alive. For my sake, I hope Gaya is still alive and not captured. I can't see how to find Izark and I won't survive in this city alone.

I'm torn, a bit confused, trying to decide what to do next, although my body is requiring something specific. When we arrived, I was absolutely delighted to learn that this city, perhaps in desperation, has running water. The sink, the bath, and -- joy of joys -- the toilet. I head there now, ducking under windows so as to not be seen from outside the building.

If I stay, the soldiers may come back and demand to know where anyone is that escaped, or take me too, even though I know nothing. If I leave, I have a whole city to hide from while trying to get out of it, and then find a direction to go and hope Izark somehow manages to find me. It's always much better to stay put and I'm leaning that direction, but my whole system is dancing to leave.

Actually, it's so bad, I've just noticed I'm back in the kitchen again, hunting for food I can shove into my bag to take with me. In my hand is a water bottle and I'm filling it at the sink. The cold water running over my hand is what woke me up to what I was doing.

What am I doing? I shake myself. That's actually a bit scary. I look in my bag, see that I do indeed have food in it, and put the water bottle in it. Both hands on the table, breathe. Look inside. What's driving me? I must, absolutely must, get back to Izark. Ridiculous. Where is he? Where would I go?

I send it out as if a searching thread, and suddenly it's pointing me a direction to go in. I open my eyes in shock and breathe hard. Is it because we're finally farther apart that it can learn how to have a longer range? (Whatever ‘it' is. That's kind of scary, too. I really wish I understood this physical connection we have that plays with our emotions.)

God, I want him so bad. It really hurts. ..."Izark?" It goes out along that thread that's tied through the hole in my heart. "I need you. Will you let me come to you?" I wait, but nothing really changes. I walk around the room and like a compass needle, it always points in that same direction: out the door and down the hill, but towards the west-southwest (I think I've remembered where we are in relation to the cardinal directions).

Well, if I have a direction to go, and no reason to stay, other than if Gaya should come back...but she said to go to Izark. So. I'm all of a sudden walking down the street already. I shake my head. That won't do. I have to have mental capacity in order to stay safe from the lowlifes and the soldiers. Not to mention that just because Izark is that direction as the crow flies, that doesn't mean I can get out of the city that way. These damn unplanned roads.

I'm at my wits end, and the fourth dead-end -- at least in the direction I want to be going. I feel like actual distance traveled in the direction I want to go is very minimal. I sigh in frustration and turn to head back to the last street to see if I can work my way back over.

Crap. I'm hemmed in by one of those boy gangs. "Hey, are you lost?" "Can we help you find your way?" "We'd like to help you if we can." Yeah, right to an abandoned warehouse for ‘fun'. Not on your life.

"No, thank you. I was walking to clear my head. My grandmother is dying and," I allow my tears to start dripping, "I -I just couldn't...," I start sobbing, then check it. "No. I need to get back. I'm all she has. Please excuse me." I want to go through them and back, but they're blocking that way and my words don't make them any more interested in moving out of my way.

If I want out, I have to go to my right. I frown at them. They move tighter in front of me and say they'll comfort me. Bastards. They're going to make me run, and by the look in their eyes, it's going to be to another real dead end...in more ways than one.

But they've moved enough now I can run. I look up above them to see if I can go up at all, and freeze. Above them in the air are many dark shadow balls with eyes. I'm seeing things not real again and it affects me the same as before. I lose my capacity to think right. A hand on my arm wakes me up to my real danger and I'm off, down the way they want to chase me.

"Izark! Izark! I don't understand!" I've got lots of practice in running fast now, in allowing my adrenaline to move me. They aren't working too hard though. Just enough to keep me going. Real tears spring to my eyes now. I hate this! I didn't ask to be brought here, to be tortured like this. A sob escapes me, then I'm looking for a new direction to go and turn down an alley (yeah, I know, stupid, but it's a different direction), then suddenly down another direction.

They're laughing behind me, but occasionally they swear and speed up when it looks like I've taken a turn that will let me get away. "I-zar-k! Help!" I'm trapped. The only way now is over the edge of the road and down. I hope I'm not going to go splat.

I leap over the low wall and there's one of the those left-over green hills under me...and "Aahh! [Watch out!]" I've suddenly fallen into the lap of a man who has a little girl sitting next to him. "Please, help me. Bad men are chase me. Please." I'm quivering and he's staring at me -- until the gang drops to surround us. Then his expression goes hard.

There's the usual male posturing, then one of the gang grabs me, to pull me away from this man. The man kicks out at him, putting him on the ground. I get out of the way, then get me and the little girl out of the way as the man proceeds to beat up with his fists and feet every one of the gang, facing them fearlessly even when they pull their knives on him.

My heart is beating wildly and my mouth wants to open in surprise. This is the first man I've seen have any kind of strength of this kind other than Izark, although it's still the strength of man -- not the same as Izark's strength, except in honor and character.

"Miss, is my Dad great?" The little girl is looking up at me and I see for the first time her eyes are milky. She's blind.

I smile. "Yes. He is very great, very strong. I am grateful for protection." By the words he's yelling at them, he's taking out his frustration at being kicked out of their place and having things stolen from him. I frown slightly. That isn't good, that they have no place to go. That makes them like me.

I look at his waist. He doesn't have a sword, still... he moves like he has the skill. He also wears a bandanna like Izark. Would that be a sign of a wandering warrior? I wonder if I could talk him into going with me. Even if he just walked me out of the city so that I could move on my own in the country that would be helpful. Right. Me, alone, in the country. I sigh. What am I going to do?

The gang finally picks themselves up and runs away, verbal abuse being thrown back at us as they go. I slump to the ground. "Are you okay?" my rescuer asks.

"Now, thank you. You are very strong."

He's embarrassed. "Ah, well, I maybe took it too far, eh?" I shake my head, but suddenly a large hungry growl issues from his stomach, followed by another from his daughter. My eyes open wide. They both blush bright red.

I wave my hand. "No, no. Please, I have food. For your fighting for me, eat it." I open my bag and pull out what I have and share it with them, putting food into the hands of the girl. "I also have water," I pull out the bottle and set it on the ground.

While they eat, I consider my options. They're slightly larger now, except I have no money. Maybe I can provide a thing for them, though, and maybe if he's with me, I can open up the store for the rest of today and tomorrow to earn enough to pay them to get me to at least the next small town. Maybe. "I have a place you can come stay, maybe?" I offer.

The man looks at his daughter, blushes again, but looks sad. "If you're willing, we do need somewhere, for at least a few days."

I nod. "Please come." I hope I can find it again. "Do you know the city roads?"

He looks at me curiously. "We've been here about a month so I know the area here."

I sigh in relief. "I only one day, but I know the building, and it is that way," I point back up the hill in the direction I came from.

Somehow we manage to find the neighborhood. Crowded around outside Gaya's store are locals, whispering to each other, and I can hear men's voices from inside. I freeze in fear, then soldiers carrying loot from the store leave it, laughing. My face turns hot with anger and I can't keep my hands from clenching. "[Bastards!]" I snarl. But I have to wait for them to leave. Izark said it.

When they're gone, I run into the building and look around the store. They've left it a mess and there is very little of value left to sell. slam! I hit the sales counter with my fist. There goes my way to earn money to have help. Ah, I'd forgotten them. I guess I can't turn them away now, regardless. Maybe hospitality will give me some leverage...maybe.

A search of the house shows that there is still a little food, but between the fighting and the looting there isn't much left in the house, or the store. "Excuse me? It seems you've had trouble." The man has come into the back of the house, holding his daughter's hand.

"Yes, sorry. But there is still food and a roof and floor...if you want it for tonight."

"If it wouldn't be too much?"

I shake my head. "Please stay." I need to be protected, too.

"Ah, I've forgotten to introduce us. I'm Agol Dena Orfa. This is my daughter Geena Haas." My ears perk up at that. They don't have familial names? How odd.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Noriko Taichiki." I bow slightly, still not sure what the proper form of greeting is. "Please be welcome. I will clean. Upstairs are rooms, if you wish to choose one."

He blinks then nods. "Thank you." I nod back, distracted.

I'm in the middle of cleaning at least the main room for us to eat in, although it will have to be on the floor, when there's a clap of thunder and rain begins to pour. I thought it was the sun setting, but I guess it was storm clouds, or both. I stop and look out the window, resting my hand on the sill.

I love rain and thunderstorms, but tonight the hole in my chest has me down. This morning I thought I'd be on my way to Izark by this time, free of the city. Now I'm back here again, no further towards that goal. I rest both arms on the sill, then put my chin on my hands, my eyes wanting to drip like the water down the window pane.

"Izark," I say quietly into the hole in my heart, "can you hear me? How am I to get to you? Will you come get me? Please?" I put my head down on my arms. He won't come, not for a while yet. He's still fighting the pull, surely. I really should stay put and let him come to me. It's just...it isn't safe here any more, not unless Gaya survived and comes back.

...I can't stay this way all night. There are things to do. I wipe my eyes on my sleeve, then get back to work.

"Mmm...," I wake slowly, feeling very weak. It isn't uncommon, so I just let myself continue to wake up as I always do when the weakness overtakes me. But, I hear voices. Normally I hide myself when the old ailment overtakes me.

"If Gaya was alone she'd have easily survived a situation like that because she's one of the Grey Bird tribe's greatest warriors."

Gaya? My eyes finally open. The world is a little hazy still, but then so is my mind. I'm trying to understand. Why would Gaya's name have been said in my hearing?

"But Noriko is just a girl. I'm worried about what happened to her in all the confusion."

What? Memory floods through me and I'm pushing up as fast as I can. "What are you discussing?" I ask, but I'm brought up short as chains clank and my hands don't part far at all. My wrists are bound with steel cuffs, chained together.

I look around. "What's this?" My ankles are also bound in the same way, and I'm in a stone room with a dirt floor, alone. I turn and look the other way and there are bars as the fourth wall. Across a hallway is another room like mine. Sitting in it are an old distinguished gentleman and three young men. They must be the ones who were talking. "Where am I?" I ask.

"We're in the prison cells of Nada's castle," they tell me.

I scowl and push up to sit up, my head reeling still just a little. I think I don't like the man who poisoned me. I very much don't like Nada, who will lock someone up for not wanting to hurt someone else, and having better things to do with their time. I put my hand to my head, not liking that the other hand must come with to dangle in the air.

Either they're afraid of me, or wish to humiliate me and teach me a "lesson". I suppose if they believe I have supernatural powers like that man, they may believe I might be dangerous to them. They aren't wrong, so I let it sit a cold ember for now. I have things I need to know first, and more recovery time before I can act anyway.

"You were talking about Gaya and Noriko just now. Can you tell me what happened? I know them. I was just there."

They take turns telling me their story. The gentleman introduces them. "I'm Grand Duke Jeida de Gilenee. These are my sons, Rontarna and Koriki. I'm the Duke of the Left Wing, but because I believe that peace is more important than war, and helping our people our duty rather than greed, others in the government have framed me for being the one to instigate the rebels.

"I and my family fled our home two nights ago. Banadam is a member of the Grey Bird tribe. He took us to the town to see if Gaya would let us spend the night there. He hoped she would be another sword to defend us, and we might not be found."

"We were going to leave the next morning, but somehow we were discovered and the troops attacked the shop in the middle of the night," Rontarna says, a scowl on his face.

"We've been brought here in secret, kept political prisoners in Nada's castle until dad's rival, Grand Duke Kemil, can arrive to do whatever he wants to get rid of the thorn in his side," Koriki is very angry. His father tries to calm him.

"I'm sure Gaya wasn't captured," Banadam says. "I didn't see Noriko during the fighting, so Gaya probably had her hide away somewhere. Likely she'll keep watching over her." He looks like he's trying to talk himself into believing it.

"When was that?" I ask.

"Last night. You were brought here this afternoon. It's sometime into the night now," Duke Jeida answers.

I try to work through the timing. If they were captured the first night after I left Noriko there (so fast!) but I heard her later that morning, then she was unharmed during the battle and it was a different fear. Or was she taken and being tortured later that morning?

I'm suddenly a mess inside at that thought. They don't seem to think that was a possibility, though, so I try to calm back down. Still, it's a worry and I can't know as long as I'm chained in here.

I try to pull the chain apart, but I still don't have access to my powers. My body will have to recover first from the poison. It's irritating. Some guards have come to check on us and I ignore them, resting while I can and have to. 

As I rest, to my mind comes the image of Noriko as she looked at me with those eyes that were angry and sad, beginning to tear with lonely despair as she answered my questions. I'm sorry, Noriko. If I've allowed you to be captured by them, harmed by them.... If I had known that this would have happened because I left you, I would never have left you to begin with.

To think that I might have moved us even closer to our undesired destiny in trying to protect us from it cuts me. I put my head on my arm, propped up by my knee, and grieve.

There is no way for me to know if a choice I make takes me a step towards Destruction or away from it. No one can see it. I can only do what I think is best and I'm failing at every turn. My mind gives up and I can only wish to see Noriko again, to know that she's safe and I haven't done more harm than I thought I would in leaving her behind.

Hmm. I'm rather suddenly awake, for no reason, in the middle of the night. Maybe I need to use the bathroom. That's what it usually means.

What? There's a glow brightening in the middle of the room at the foot of the bed. My mind goes into the split mode again -- eyes and logical mind not matching -- and just watch. Slowly, a young man, of odd coloring and clothing appears in the light.

I put my hand to my head. He's using telepathy? "Please help...." It's very faint. "Please help us." He looks me in the eye and his expression is so sad, then suddenly he and the light are gone and I'm released from my paralysis.

"Ahhh!" It's a cry of surprise, not fear. This is the oddest thing I've experienced to date in this place, except the frightening black shadows over the gang of boys.

Agol bursts into my room with a lantern to see me sitting on the bed, my arms wrapped around my knees, shivering. "What is it? Are you okay?" he asks, concerned.

I look up at him wishing for him to tell me if it is real or not real in this world. "I - I woke up, saw light, in the light a man who asked for help. Then he was gone."

Agol freezes, standing straight. "A - a word?!" He shivers. "I don't like word." I blink. A strong man is weak against spirits, visions?

"I don't know word. What is it?"

He's a little confused, "Ah, like a person but no body. Ghost."

I got it. "Ghost?" I frown. "He wasn't scary, just sad."

Agol shivers again. "It doesn't matter, it's still a ghost."

clatter - clank. "Agh!" Agol jumps. "Is it another ghost?" he whispers. I'm thinking not.

I get up and take my knife with me and we carefully make our way down the stairs. I'd rather not take the lantern since that only gives us away, but he's holding it like it's his magic talisman to keep ghosts away. Suddenly we see a large scary face and Agol yells in fear and jumps back. "It is a ghost!"

"Who you callin' ghost, and what're you doin' in my house?"

"Aunt Gaya!" I run to her and almost grab her in a hug...except she's dripping wet, so I stop and help her out of her overcoat instead.

We're sitting in the main room around the blanket I set out as a picnic blanket. Gaya hasn't had anything to eat for a while, so while I feed her, we exchange stories. She wasn't captured, but she did follow after the Grand Duke, to find he'd been taken to the local leader's castle to be put into the dungeon with his sons and guard. While she was there, ...she turns to me. "Izark was also brought in a carriage, unconscious, and taken down to the dungeon as well."

My heart stops and my hands clasp and go to my mouth. "Ah!" I'm torn between horror, fear, worry, and excitement. He's still near enough for her to have seen him. He's in the dungeon of a lord. If they know, or discover who or what he is.... Except...why is he unconscious? That seems a near impossibility to me. I tremble in fear again. "Izark, are you okay? Are you in trouble? I'm worried."

Agol has been listening to us and watching our exchange. Now he explains his story to Gaya. He came to this city with his daughter a month ago on business, which wasn't going so well. He's been recently accosted by what he thought were government officials or soldiers and was kicked out of the place he was renting and had his sword and other things stolen from him. His goal was to retrieve those things and then leave town.

Gaya considers him, thinking. "If I tell you how to retrieve your things from the Blue Storm Troops, will you help us rescue the Grand Duke, his men, and Izark?" Agol's eyes light up. "They can all be done at once, really," Gaya says. I'm lit up, too. I want to see Izark.

Dawn comes into my cell through a barred window high above where I sit. I would leave out of it if I had my power back. I wish the drug would wear off faster. I'm probably more recovered than they would expect, since I do recover faster than normal men, but it's still taking too long for me. 

Then I have a new thought. I wonder...if I can call Noriko? I heard her voice. Could I also talk to her? I think of her again, picturing her, and put my whole desire to know how she is into the asking. I'm sure she was doing the same when she called me, that she was very frightened and wanting me to be with her very badly. I try to see her next to me and call for her. "Noriko."

Nothing happens. I try again, saying her name a little louder. "Noriko." I want to know so badly that she's still alive, still herself. If she is taken, I want to know where so I can find her.

"Noriko."

What? That was like what the young man ghost did. It was a voice in my head. "Izark?" I turn to where I can feel the pull coming from my heart. It's stronger now also.

"What is it?" Gaya asks.

"Are you okay, Noriko?" Agol asks.

"Ah, I heard Izark's voice." I wonder if I shouldn't have said it. This world is strange enough I don't know what's normal and what isn't. 

"Noriko!" It's louder this time. 

"Izark! I'm here." I pull on the thread hard and send my heart down it with the words. I want to see him so badly. ...And suddenly I do, eyes flying wide. Did the ghost boy open a portal to my mind that I can use now? Or is it Izark?

Izark is in chains, but he's whole and unharmed, still wearing my bandanna, but hair not braided -- not surprising.

I suddenly hear, "Izark, I'm here." To my wondering eyes comes a vision. Noriko is kneeling up on a cloth. Near her are Gaya, a man, and a little girl. It looks like they're eating a meal.

"Noriko! I can see you!" I say in surprise.

"Yes, I can see you also. Are you okay?" she asks.

"I'm fine. Are you okay?" I ask.

The feel of those words seems desperate. "Yes. I'm okay now." I'm about to say more when the vision vanishes. I blink in the darkness, but I can still feel him. I drop to sit on my heels (I'd risen up on my knees in surprise when I saw him) and stare, trying to understand.

"What happened, Noriko?" Gaya asks.

I turn to her. "I don't understand. I heard Izark call me, then I could see him and he could see me. He's okay, and I told him I was okay. Then suddenly he -- the [vision] -- was gone, and the words."

Gaya puts her chin in her hand. "Hmmm... a vision was it? If you could do that again, we'd have a way to communicate with him what our plans were so he could work on the inside while we work on the outside." She pins me with her look. "Can you do that again?"

"I -I don't know. That's the first time. Ever." I consider it. It could be the "second level" connection, though. "It is possible," I say slowly. "I will try again, but not now. We do not have a plan." Gaya nods, but Agol looks at me with eyes slightly narrowed.

I wonder if it's because he's surprised I know how to plan and use my resources wisely, or if it's because of his fear of ghosts that now he's suspicious of me and my newly shown ability that may not be mine. "Was it your first time to see a ghost, too?" he asks me.

I nod. "First time, ever."

"You saw a ghost?" Gaya asks surprised.

I nod. "Just before you come." I tell her the story and she sits with a raised eyebrow for a while.

"That's why I thought you were a ghost," Agol tells Gaya. He seems embarrassed again and panics when Gaya teases him about thinking she was a ghost. He has a slightly strange personality, in my opinion, but he seems nice enough to trust as far as getting Izark out, if he's willing.

In the end, we agree to gather what supplies we can and go to where we can execute the plan. I'm glad. I have two protectors here so that I don't have to go on my own, we know where Izark is now, and even the Grand Duke and his men can be saved, possibly.

I fall asleep happy for the first time in a long time, my arms wrapped around my heart, holding Izark close to me. "We will protect you," I say to him.

"Hey! What are you spacing out for!" There's a slam on the bars of my cell that interrupts my connection to Noriko and I'm suddenly only seeing the cell ...and the last person I want to be seeing: Lord Nada. He has guards with him and they're all looking at me. Two hold the spears of the prison guards. Three are fighters, both of the ones sent after me yesterday and one other. "Lord Nada is here to visit you. Treat him with respect!"

I glare at them. Nada chuckles, holding his folded fan to his chin as if he needs it to protect him, to keep his head attached to his body. "What's wrong? You don't look well, poor fellow. Now you know what happens when you disobey me, eh?"

Pompously he says, "I am Nada. I will be the next king. But you don't seem to know that, dolt. Now you understand how great my power is and how stupid you are, right?" He laughs an oily, horrible laugh.

You ...insect. I turn away from him, not caring what he has to say. I'm angry they interrupted before I could learn from Noriko what happened, but she seemed fine. If she's with Gaya now, and they can eat peacefully, then perhaps it was something someone else was able to take care of -- maybe that man. I would be grateful if he was one who was willing to help a girl who was being attacked.

I'm surprised I could see her, and she could see me. I only heard her before. "-- are you listening to me, you idiot!"

I turn back to the screaming insect. It doesn't matter what he'd been saying. He still wants me to fight because once he's decided it will happen, it has to happen. "I lost my strength, thanks to the drug that guy behind you gave me. I'm in no condition to fight." Not that I'd be willing regardless.

"He'll be fine by tomorrow, Sir," the man answers calmly.

The other man who confronted me first leans over Nada's shoulder to speak to him. "Lord Nada?"

"Barago?" Nada asks.

"He doesn't seem to realize the seriousness of his situation. Look at how arrogant he is.... He doesn't even know he's being rude to you."

He has egged Nada. "Hmm. You're right."

"Shouldn't we teach him a lesson?" The man wants to beat on me while I'm still weak for putting him on the floor at the tavern.

Nada motions to the guards, willing to see more pain dealt out given any excuse. One unlocks my cell and Barago enters it. Stupid. "Apologize to Lord Nada," Barago demands. I give them silence. "Kneel before him!!" Barago yells at me. I don't move.

He grabs my hair and slams my head into the ground and is kneeling on my back. "It upsets me to see a lowly swordsman being so rude to a nobleman!" Yeah, right. You just want a reason to beat on people, too. "You're garbage! You hear me?! Nothing but garbage!" His hand begins to squeeze my head painfully.

"Hey, you're heavy," I complain. Then I move, pushing up with my hands to kick up with my feet, throwing Barago off of me. "Get off my back!" I kick him in the face, making him fall back.

"Y-you swine!" He's up and coming for me again. "You think just because you got lucky yesterday...."

I don't let him finish as I dodge his reaching hand and slam his forehead with the top of my head. He cries out and stumbles back.

While he's staggering, I surge forward and snatch his sword from its sheath, swing it around and point it at Barago's throat. He's pressed up against the far wall, fearing for his life. That reaction tells me that Nada regularly has losers pay with their lives. Likely this one's killed many of his own share.

Because I haven't followed through, Barago clenches his teeth to his fear. "You sneak. You lied about not being able to fight."

"I didn't lie," I disagree. "It took a lot of effort to do that." Similar to the fight in Calco, actually. I'm almost out of breath and if he were to rush me we'd be in a reverse situation.

"Kill him. I give you my permission to do so," Nada urges me.

"Do you want to die?" I think Barago is rethinking his life. He shakes his head, not wanting that at all.

"Okay then, I won't kill you," I lower the sword point from his neck, but keep hold of the sword. "I thought of using you as a hostage to get myself out of here but it looks like that won't work."

Nada's disappointed. Good. "That's okay," he says, "you defeated Barago well. It was good fighting. I'll reward you with a bag of gold. Let me say this again. I plan to host a royal tournament at my castle in two days. All my warriors will take part. I want you in it, too. You'll be free of the drug's effects by then, right?

"If you win, I'll reward you with twenty bags of gold and the highest position in the palace guard. Don't you want the prize? It would be a shame not to use your skills."

Even in not giving him what he wanted, I gave him what he wanted to begin with: a fight against Barago. I sigh at myself. "I don't want the palace guard position. If you promise to set me free, however, I'll fight in your tournament. I don't think it's a bad deal for you." I think we're both lying to each other, but I want at least an admission he might let me go, and I think he wants to see even more what I can do now when I'm not weakened.

"Very well," he agrees, preparing to leave. "I haven't asked for your name yet."

"Izark."

"Chief Chamberlain! Move this man to a cell in the main building, but keep him chained," Nada orders the man behind him.

"Yes, Sir!"

Duke Jeida and his sons and guard are watching from the other cell, standing out of concern. Nada turns and sees them. "Well. Here you are, Jeida. ...‘Former' Duke of the Left Wing. You used to criticize me. What a whiner!" He gets a sudden expression of delight on his face. "I have a great idea. I'll invite you to the tournament. You're such a coward that you hate the sight of blood, right?"

The duke tries to address Nada, but Nada turns around suddenly and begins to walk out of the prison. "I'm going to town. You take care of the rest of the preparations for the tournament, okay?" The chamberlain bows. "Orne! Kaidar! Come with me." The two fighters follow Nada out.

"Hmph. Lord Nada isn't speaking to you anymore, Barago," the chamberlain touts over the man still in the cell with me.

Barago grits his teeth, but this must also be common for Nada, to act like a man has already died even if he wasn't killed. I turn to the guards outside the cell and drop his sword through the bars. "I'd rather he not take his revenge with that," I say. The guard smirks and picks it up and they chivy him out of my cell and relock it.

"Are you going to be okay?" Rontarna asks after the guards are gone, the Chamberlain gone with them to set up things for moving me.

"I'll be fine," I answer. I give a small smirk. "It'll be easier to escape from there than from here." They give me knowing looks and whisper wishes of good fortune. If they're going to be there to watch it, I wonder if there's a way to earn their freedom as well? I'll have to keep my ears open for possibilities. It would be a shame for Zago to lose a man as good as Duke Jeida.

We're in an inn near a fighting arena going over the plan one last time. Apparently the lord, Lord Nada, is the bloodthirsty kind who likes to watch men beat each other up for fun. He's also in the running to become king, so he gets away with it, and all kinds of things he shouldn't be able to. Gaya doesn't like him, I can tell, and I don't think I would either.

At the arena, if a man can survive to the top without injury in the tournaments, he's added to Lord Nada's elite guards and rewarded as long as he continues to stay at the top. Agol is going to sign up for the tournament and see if he can win and get into the elite group of fighters and brought to Lord Nada's personal arena.

Tomorrow there's supposed to be a special tournament there, and Gaya is suspicious that Izark will be involved with it. If both Izark and Agol can get the Duke out of the castle dungeon and out of the castle, then they'll all be free. Under normal circumstances I think that would be impossible, but I don't really believe anything to be impossible for Izark any more. I think if he knew the Duke was there and needed freeing, he would do it himself, without Agol's help.

But...he was unconscious and chained. Something happened so that Izark can't go to second level, at least for a time. It wouldn't be bad to have someone else to help, and it can't be me. I'd be squashed flat with just one of the fighters blowing on me.

"Noriko, can you talk to Izark sometime today and tell him the plan? Agol will be able to come back here after today's tournament, but when he's taken to the castle, we won't be able to talk to him again. He'll need to know what Izark can tell him about the inside before he goes."

"Mm!" I nod. "I will try my best." Experimenting until I understand is one of my strong points. I loved my advanced level chemistry class in high school for that reason. "It may take time to learn." Gaya and Agol nod. I sigh. "And, I may have to wait for Izark to call me." They nod for that, too. There's a possibility it's either a two way street, or that he's the one who can do it. He called me first before the vision began, after all.

I spend a lot of time after that trying to figure it out; although, I don't work on it constantly. It's tiring, I find to my surprise, to try to use my mind and heart that much in this new and strange way. I start with tracking where he is in relation to me, and feeling down that line. I try to remember what I did just before the vision opened, but it was almost instinctual and it won't come with just thinking hard.

When Gaya returns to the room in the inn, where Geena and I have been waiting and visiting, she's excited because Agol has retrieved his things. Gaya drops a small bag into the hand of Geena, then looks through another small bag. "This is enough to cover the one more night at the inn," she says. "I'm going to have to use it. It's all we have."

Geena opens her bag and a polished opal-like stone falls into her hand. "Ohh. Beautiful," I exclaim.

"It was my mother's," she smiles at me. "It's my seer stone." I blink at her.

"Oh, are you a seer?" Gaya asks as if it's a normal occupation for anyone, including a child.

"When I have the stone," Geena says cheerfully. Focus. Like when Izark asked if the mirror I carried was used for scrying. Was he asking if I was a seer? I wonder if I used a mirror, like the one that is actually on a dresser in our room in the inn, oddly enough, if I would be able to see Izark again. I try it, feeling ridiculous and embarrassed, while Geena and Gaya talk.

Gaya has asked Geena to "see" which route we should go when Izark and the Grand Duke are free. She wants to take us into the next country to go to her sister there, hoping we can hide from Lord Nada and the government of this country there.

Geena holds her stone and is holding still, then she says, "My father will win the tournament. ...And will be taken to Nada's castle." She frowns and is silent for a while, then says, "I see beautiful trees. Purple leaves and white trunks."

"Oh, that's the real thing!" Gaya beams. "That's what the trees of the white mist woods look like, although no one has traveled there in a long time. There's a monster that inhabits it now, so people don't go. That's why I wasn't sure which way to go. If we could go that way we would throw the pursuit off. If we go on the roads, the checkpoints may block us, or arrest us all again."

"Izark and Agol and Banadam can help with the monster," I say. Izark could do it himself, most likely.

Gaya flexes her arm. "And me!"

I gape at her. "You?"

She nods. "I'm a member of the Grey Bird Warrior clan. I can fight with the best of them." I grin. Somehow I'm not surprised. She could toss a man over her shoulder if she wanted to. Does she carry one hundred pounds on her shoulder all the time to keep physically fit, then?

"Izark's teaching me knife." I pull it out. "Not to fight monsters, though. Only for defense."

Gaya goes serious. "Yes. Has he taught you that the end always returns to the beginning?"

I nod. "Yes. Our first lesson. That was easy to understand."

She looks at me, then seems satisfied with my answer. "And has he taught you that strength comes from within? What we are inside is what gives us the strength to be and do."

I pause. "Yes. Our second lesson. We disagreed on something, though. My understanding and language wasn't good. I said I still need to grow in strength. He said I'm already strong, but couldn't say more."

Gaya leans back and considers me, then clicks her tongue. "Well, I'll have to let him tell you what was in his mind, since I don't know it. But at least he did that much." She grins. "That makes you my grand-protege. I was his teacher of the sword."

"No!" I bounce up. "Please tell me!" I know I'm looking like a kid, all lit up, but I want to know anything about his past, and this sounds like a good story. She grins and settles in to tell a grand story, Geena listening with interest too, since stories are fun for all ages.

Gaya was part of a merchant caravan, one of the cooks, a few years ago. Izark was hired on, a skinny wimpy-looking kid. He was assigned to take care of the horses of the caravan and drive one of the wagons, since he didn't look like he could lift very much. I giggle. I know how much he can lift. At least the horse and the wagon with it.

Gaya nods. "He was teased for it. One day, too much, and he put two men down on the ground in the blink of an eye." My eyes are wide. "They got mad, and started attacking him all together. I wasn't too pleased with that, but even as I moved to go help, he was putting them all on the ground, one by one, defending himself with his words, too, since they'd started it and wouldn't stop when he asked." I nod. That sounds like him.

"Then a few drew swords, since they were there as the caravan guards. That made me mad." She scowled. "I drew my sword and intervened, defending him, then showing off to scare them into backing off. It was good they did." She, embarrassed, rubs the back of her head. "I would have killed them all and the caravan owner would have been angry with me and kicked us both off the payroll."

I snort. Gaya's another super strong fighter, by her own words. I'm not going to doubt it. It must be why she survived the assault on her house.

"Anyway, from that time, I bugged Izark constantly, wanting to teach him to use the sword. I liked that he only defended himself and tried to get them to stop with his words. The men were also still on the payroll with us and every time I looked at them, they were looking at him with eyes that still wanted to kill for their humiliation.

"I had to chase him all over the camp for lots of days until I finally cornered him and he gave up. He laughed for me for the first time that day, saying I was weird. I didn't mind it, since I'd gotten the laugh and the agreement.

"He learned very quickly, more quickly than most, and soon the guards backed off, even trying to tell me they weren't going to do anything, and they'd forgiven him. They'd decided on a different plan, really." She scowls again.

"When we got here, I left the caravan, using my earnings to finally open my shop. Izark left town, taking a purchased sword with him. I was going to give him mine, but he bought the other one before I could offer it.

"I always figured he'd end up a loner, a wandering warrior. But," she looks at me, "I never expected him to come back with a little girl behind him." Little girl!? I try to not take offense.

"I'd found out the guards had hired hit men to go after Izark. The next day, two hit men were found in the woods, injured with power injuries, internal ones. It was only then I understood there was something special about him, and wondered if that was why he kept to himself.

"He'd told me that his parents were gone, but he wouldn't talk about them at all, withdrawing into himself when I first asked about it. It really isn't like him to stay with a client, or anyone, for very long."

I can only blush. "He's been kind to me. He's very nice. I would have died many times if Izark had not let me come with him." I bite my lip, then add, "I'm glad he left me with someone he trusted. Thank you for taking care of me."

Gaya blushes. "You really think he trusts me?"

I nod, certain of it. "Ah, but, I am the same age as Izark." I look her in the eye. I would really like her to stop calling me little girl. Gaya's eyes pop and she goes dark red, then panics trying to get an apology out. I finally laugh at her. "You are as small as me. You are not a little girl either."

She gets a grip, then smiles at me. "No. You're right. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I say, still smiling.

Suddenly Geena drops backwards onto her bed, her arms splayed. "Are you okay?" Gaya goes to her immediately, worried.

"I'm okay," Geena says. "I'm just suddenly tired."

"Ohh, did you try too hard to see something? That would happen to my sister all the time when she was young and pushed too hard." Geena nods. "You'll be okay with resting a bit, then," Gaya reassures her.

I look at Geena. We were talking about Izark, who cannot be seen by seers, and I am here, who also cannot. Was she trying to see one of the two of us, or both? I frown, but turn away. I can't ask, or I might give us away. I'll have to watch her and her father, I guess, although I don't want to distrust them.

Getting tired like that, though. I wonder if that's why I can't keep trying for long when I'm trying to talk to Izark. Is it similar to seeing? Do we just have to work up our "muscles"? It would make sense, I guess. "Noriko." I look at Gaya. She has a strange expression on her face. "Are you and Izark ...together?"

I try to figure that one out, then ask slowly, "Is that like girlfriend?"

She nods. "Girlfriend and boyfriend."

I would have blushed at the question and answer before we arrived at the city. Now I know a different answer. "No. I am his servant," I answer seriously.

Gaya stares at me, not knowing how to take that answer. "That isn't like him," she finally says slowly.

"No," I agree, "but it is that way. My life is his."

She considers that and me for a while, then finally nods and gets up. "I'm going to purchase food for dinner. I'll be back."

I watch Gaya leave the room, then look at Geena, who's still resting on the bed. "Geena," I say, moving to sit near her. "Were you looking at Izark, or me?" She jumps and ‘stares' at me. She's so panicked she can't even answer. "Did your Dad ask you to do it?" She nods as if she's afraid I'm going to do something to her. "Please don't tell him, or anyone what you saw. And please don't ever do it again."

She nods frantically again. "I won't," she promises.

"Thank you," I say solemnly. "We're hiding to protect the planet, and each other. Do you understand?" She pauses, calms down, then looks down and nods once. I sigh and cautiously take her small hand in mine. She's trembling.

I hold her hand gently, and speak the same. "Izark is very afraid, Geena, and I am new and only a weak woman, still very young. He doesn't want to harm anyone. ...I'm sorry you have to carry our burden now."

Geena looks back up at me, surprise on her face. I smile at her, although she can't see it. "Gaya told me when a seer sees only confusion and nothing surfaces, it means the future is not set. Do you know? Is that right?"

She frowns, then says, "Yes, mostly. But when I looked, it was more than that. No question is answered when I look. Not even what will be tomorrow, or where he is, or what either of you look like."

I'm stunned. "You mean...no seer knows any of that?" She nods. I frown. "I wonder...if we are being protected, too?" Geena is stunned. "I was thinking that if our futures were unseeable then it meant our destiny wasn't set yet. There is no way to know if evil or good is the outcome, because it hasn't been decided yet.

"But if even the present isn't knowable...I wonder if there is something protecting us until that future is decided." I sigh. "That would be nice. I don't think Izark has to be evil. Not when he wants to be good so much."

Geena pulls me back to the present. "You are kind," she says.

After a pause, I say, "Sheshe, Geena, -- but Izark is more kind." I let go of her hand and stand. "I'm going to rest, okay?"

"Okay," she says and curls up on her bed. I lay down in mine, thinking about what she's told me. Then I try to reach Izark again, just letting the quiet currents of my thoughts lead my words and feelings to him, until I'm asleep.

Lord Nada's castle is opulent, no expenses spared, even for his warriors. Barago is still around, but in the background unless he's being teased by the other warriors. My room is sparse. A cabinet and a bed, with a simple candle on the cabinet. It's sufficient for me, who won't be here long.

They post two guards at my door, but they return my bag to me. It's been looted, but my clothes are still in it. I'm glad I didn't have very much earnings saved up yet.

I do hope to find my sword and knife again, though. ...Or any sword and knife. I suppose I could just take any one I find here in the castle when I go, since he's willing to pay me twenty bags of gold to beat all of his warriors. I'm sure he doesn't expect me to be able to do it. If I bother to, I'll be sure he pays properly.

I try many times over that day and into the next to get in contact with Noriko again, but nothing I do works. Perhaps I'm no longer worried enough. There isn't the same sort of emotion or need to talk to her now. I would like to know where she is, though, so I know where to go when I get out of here.

The chamberlain fetches me at the end of the day and has the guards escort us to the baths. That's just as opulent as the rest of the castle. I'm feeling very pampered, actually, except I still have the restraining chains on my hands and feet. I bide my time. I can break out of them any time now. I'm considering leaving tonight, actually. No need to be here to feed Nada's sick soul.

On the return to my room I'm teased -- from a distance -- by the warriors hanging around the courtyard of the sleeping quarters. "Hey, hey! Doesn't he look like a princess accompanied by her guards?"

"Hee-hee! He's even chained and held at sword point." It's spears, but whatever.

"Poor guy. He doesn't know what's gonna happen to him at the tournament tomorrow." 

"Look! It's Barago."

"That jerk. Drunk again!"

Barago is suddenly running at me with a battle-cry. He slams me against the wall of the hallway. The guards are yelling at him, but because he can put them on the floor, they only verbally protest. "Because of you, I... I... crap!" He's shoving something between my belt and my clothes, surprising me. "Aw, hell. I've worked so hard to get where I am!" He's loudly complaining, but only acting drunk so he can get close to me like this.

The guards request help from the other warriors. They swarm Barago and pull him off of me, throwing him to the ground and kicking him. They turn their teasing attention to him for their entertainment and the guards hurry me into my room. Barago takes it, I notice as the door closes, as if he is too far gone drunk and depressed to fight back.

When I'm sure the guards are going to ignore me, I fish behind my belt and pull out the paper.

I wanted to be a big shot. I could'a been a contender! I've worked so hard all my life! But look at me. I have become a man who takes advantage of other people's weaknesses just to score points. What a loser I am! I've become a hideous person. To make things worse I was happy to serve an insect like Nada.

When I realized the mistakes I've made in my life, I needed to atone for my errors. That's what I want to do now. Let me make it clear that I still hate you.  It's up to you whether you believe me or not, but I tell you this: You'll be forced to fight seventeen men at once including me at the tournament tomorrow.

I crumple the note in my hand. I see. So that's why I didn't sense that he wanted to kill me. I set the note on fire while holding it in my hand and scatter the fine ashes on the floor as if they're just more dust for the maid to clean up after I'm gone.

I don't manage to talk to Izark before Agol has to go to the castle. I apologize, and promise I'll keep trying. Agol says he'll just do his best and forgives me. Gaya promises to look after Geena and he is gone. Finally, after dinner, when we're resting and it's quiet, I give it all I've got.

Geena's given me some pointers so I'm using what the seers do, too. I relax, pulling up the sensation of floating on the raft on the quiet cave river again, add in the sense of having Izark standing guard over me while on that raft, then flow with the river to Izark.

I pull on the connection, trying to draw him closer to me, then I send my thoughts to him down the line, as if shortening the distance between us then calling across the remaining distance, "Izark." I also put all of my wanting to talk to him into it. I'm not trying to see as well. They say that may use more strength than I have at the moment.

It actually feels right. I feel the hole begin to be filled again with his presence and I'm excited, although I try to not disturb my calm. "Izark," I call again as the dark hole in my heart is nearly full and it begins to relax.

It can't be, can it? I've been trying so hard. "Noriko!?" I don't answer aloud this time. I don't want the guards to hear my voice. And I want to know if we can speak silently. That would be very beneficial. "Are you okay?"

"Yes!" I'm surprised when my involuntary exclamation doesn't break us out of contact again. I'm careful to not do that again, though.

"Yes, Izark. We are in an inn outside the stadium, Gaya, Geena, and I. Geena's father, Agol, is in the castle with you. He is there to free Grand Duke Jieda, his two sons, and guard Banadam...and you. Please use him. He has agreed to it. He will be the newest of Nada's guard. He won today's tournament." I try to get it all out quickly since I don't know how long before I get tired, or there's another interruption.

I'm relieved she heard me. She says a lot of words in a hurry, but I understand. We only saw each other for a short time last time. I'm not interrupted this time, though. "Agol?" I confirm the name I need to remember.

"Yes." There's a pause, but I feel him all around me now, as if we're on the horse again. He's thinking.

If Barago really wants to atone, I wonder if he would help us, too. He would know where the man who can control wind rooms. If I could use his poison, we could escape easily. It's very helpful now that Nada has "invited" the duke to watch the tournament. "There's also another fighter here who wants to help. I think I know how we can get free. Meet us outside the town." We'll have to all leave in a hurry. The plans build up in my mind.

My heart flies. I want to meet with him so very much. "Gaya wants us to go to the next country over, Guzena, to hide with her sister. Geena is a seer, even though she is a child. She says we should go through the white mist woods." Meeting outside town is rather vague. He needs to know what Gaya is thinking.

I blink in surprise. I wouldn't mind talking to another seer to understand how things are now that Noriko's here. Having a place to go far from here is good, too. I'm now trying to not hope too much. From the heartache to easy relief is rather a wide stretch to walk in one leap. "That's west. We'll meet you there, on that side of the town," I instruct her.

I answer, "Okay. [Good luck.]" There's another pause and I feel like the warmth all around me is giving me a hug, like the kind he gave me when I needed to cry, only...more. I try to hug him back with my heart, to let him know we're doing what we can to protect him, too.

I'm grateful that she's been kept safe and there are those who are protecting her. I'm finally able to relax. I'll be able to face tomorrow without worries.

Suddenly, my strength leaves me and the connection is broken. I slump onto the bed, but I'm heartened. He's still with me, even though we're much farther apart than ever before, except when I was at Gaya's and he was gone. We've become stronger for being apart, at least as far as the connection is concerned. I wonder if that's really a good thing, except that now I don't have to hurt any longer, and I know where he is. It's comforting.

"Are you okay, Noriko?" Gaya asks.

"Yes, just tired. It does seem to be similar to the seeing. I just did what Geena said, and it worked. I told Izark the plan, and where you want to go. He says there's another fighter inside to help him also, and he has a plan to get them out. We should meet them outside town on the way to Guzena."

Gaya nods and looks thoughtful. "You're special, Noriko," she says.

I shake my head. "No. Izark is special. I'm just a normal young woman." I can tell she disagrees, but she lets it drop.

Chapter Text

From where the guards have me wait for the tournament I can hear the trumpets blare to announce the opening of the tournament in honor of the king. They say it as if they honor the current king, but they're honoring the man they wish to see as king. I don't think the current king would approve of this tournament.

I've taken off the bandana Noriko made for me and left it in my bag. I don't want to destroy it. Even the hint of the possibility makes me shiver given her words to me and the time she spent on it. I'm also wearing what the fighters wear: pants and a short sleeve top that won't give much purchase to be grabbed during the fight. I do wear the wraps on my forearms. I don't need the scales to be seen. They'll only look like a defense to the spectators. I've been relieved they've left me the earpiece I still had on. Perhaps my hair and the bandanna hid it from them.

The guards give me a wooden bat as my tool to defend myself with. That means swords are illegal in fighting tournaments. I'm glad there are still a few reasonable rules, but bats kill, too. I'm announced and urged out the fancy entrance to go into the fighting arena here in the castle. 

There are stands set up around three sides. On one of them with fancy draperies sits Nada in a chair similar to a throne. His guests sit with him. On a different side, close to the wall of the castle I came out of is a covered area. It isn't too obvious because Duke Jeida sits there with his three young men, guarded, and it looks like they're also chained as I was. It's good they aren't close to Nada.

As I enter the center of the ring, Nada rises to his feet, needing to feel self-important. "You fool, Izark. You have no idea what's about to happen to you, do you? Let me introduce the guys you'll be fighting." The seventeen sturdy fighting men run out from under a different opening and surround me. Each holds a wooden bat in hand and leers at me, save Barago, who is looking angry.

Nada continues, like a child who needs all the attention. "Gentlemen, this first match is purely for entertainment. The guy standing in the middle of the arena is a traveling warrior who doesn't know his place. He acted rudely towards me so I decided to have him fight all my palace guards at once. Now he's going to show us how good he is."

The numbers of spectators who cheer and call out surprise and sicken me. They enjoy coming here and know what Nada likes: blood and death. They also are here for that "entertainment". How can men be so evil? Even a few women are here. My stomach turns, but I have a job to do. Nada is going to pay me to steal his prisoners from him.

Grand Duke Jeida rises to his feet in anger. "This isn't a fair game at all. End it now! Why don't you all ask him to stop it? This is disgusting!" He's shoved back into his seat by his guards and talked badly about by many around the field. He has my gratitude and respect for being willing to stand up to the evil, even when chained in the house of his enemy.

Nada calls the beginning of the match. Barago immediately calls out, "Nobody move! Let me go first!" They all know he has a vendetta against me, so they let him come at me. That works for my plan so I move to meet him, allowing him to clash into me. I defend close enough to my body to talk to him quietly. He agrees to my plan and I hit him hard enough to send him out of the ring of encircling warriors. They jeer and a few rush me. He disappears into the castle to do his part.

I dodge the first man to reach me, moving fast enough to dodge all of his swings. That makes him angry and he comes at me with a strong blow. I stop the bat with a simple hand held out. My energy shield takes the force of the blow. He pulls back, but my grip on the bat is greater than his. I shove the end of the bat closest to him into his solar plexus, using energy behind it and he is blown into the man standing behind him.

Now I have two bats. The other men, angry that I've bested two of them now, rush me. I slam the bats together, then run around the field giving each one of them good smacks that put them on the ground. I'm moving too fast for them to find me, or touch me.

The last one falls and I return to the center of the field. I play with the bats, spinning them around in front of me, and then one behind my back to catch it again, as if I am an acrobat. I've often found this to be an effective deterrent. Gaya did it when she defended me from the thugs in the caravan to get them to back off -- and they did. I liked it as an alternative to always attacking or only defending.

"What's wrong?" I taunt them as they try to recover. "Don't want to fight any more?" I need to delay the end of the fight, so I've only put them on the ground, not really damaged them for how tough they are. It was a surprise move so they're more stunned than harmed at this point.

"The rat. He's entertaining himself," an angry voice says from the spectators. I think it was Nada, who doesn't like things suddenly turning around on him. He is the one who shouts out while shaking his folded fan angrily at his warriors. "What are you guys doing! You're only fighting one guy, so hurry up and kill him! Remember, you're fighting for my honor."

A threat even. Not wise when there are this many and all stronger than you are. They're up on their feet again, however. The bravest one, who has a cheat, gives them the pep talk, like the leader of the thieves in Calco did. "Let's pull ourselves together, guys. This guy's really tough. It's time to quit playing around. Let's get serious." He's setting up the other men to fall so he can use his special power to win in the end, just like all those who stand in his place and get cocky having something "extra".

The rest rush me and I leap into the air, landing outside their now compact grouping. I rush them and hit each of them harder this time. One of the men grabs my arm, his fingers grasping onto the wrap on my arm. I throw him and his grip is tight enough he tears the wrap. I cover the hole with my other hand to hide the scales. They've been slowly expanding ever since Noriko arrived, although I've had them since I was a child.

Do I go back to her? Or once everyone from here is safe again, do I leave her with them and move on alone? They might get into trouble again, but I know there are strong people with them. Gaya, Barago, and perhaps Agol who protected her before when I couldn't. Once they're in a different country, will they be able to live peacefully again?

After Noriko talked to me last night, I sat on my bed, leaning against the wall. I couldn't deny that talking to her had made me feel so happy inside. The last days without her have been full of confusion, darkness, and loneliness. I'm drowning, but I'm drowning either way. Is it better to drown in the final days of life in happiness or darkness?

I'm torn, but having had it in my life finally for the last three months, I'm beginning to believe I'd rather be happy. That will have to fight against my fear, but it has more weight now than it did just being the wishes of the child inside of me. I have a proper comparison now.

"Izark!" comes from the castle side of the arena. I turn and a man I don't recognize, but dressed to fight is rushing me, a bat in hand. His other hand is hiding something, held close to his body. This must be Agol. I allow him to get close. "What are you going to do with this?" he asks as he shoves a small container into me.

I take it from him. "Bring this farce to an end," I tell him. In two more swings, I've sent him out of the main area as well, with a blow that doesn't do much damage.

I already have my wind protecting me when the wind of the other man who can control it comes my way. He's sent more than paralyzing poison at me. I make it swirl away where it can't harm others. I wouldn't be surprised if he had one in that mixture that kills. I act like I'm frozen, but mostly because I'm gathering my strength. Because I need what I hold to reach all of the spectators and guards, I need to call on more power than what I normally do. My teeth elongate and my vision becomes sharp. That's enough power.

"Ha ha! I've done it!" the man exults. Some of his comrades fall to the ground, having gotten a little of his poison because they were too close to his wind and he wasn't careful with it. "Here! It's your turn to faint!"

I turn and look at him, letting him see my eyes. He freezes in shock. "I don't fall for the same trick twice," I tell him. I hear Barago and Agol fighting the guards that surround Duke Jeida and then the order for him and his men to protect their noses and mouths and to get down as low to the ground as possible, as I instructed.

I hold up the jar in my hand and my wind whips up strongly with me in the calm center. I smash the jar on the ground and the dust in it is picked up by my wind. I carry it to all the field. I need even the watching guards around the outer perimeter to sleep so we can escape without warning given. I try to keep it from reaching the Duke's hidden place. I'm sure Barago made sure the guards there were knocked out.

The spectators cry out in surprise at the sudden wind and Nada squeals like a small pig, then is falling as the poison paralyses his legs. When everyone is passed out, I calm the wind and go to where the Duke is. I check on him first. He was breathing into his sleeve and seems okay. I help him up as the others rise to their feet.

"The others are waiting for us to the north," I say. "We have a few things to collect before we leave, though. Can you and your men go to the stables and saddle horses for us? We'll need one extra one." I turn to Agol. "Do you know where they are? Can you take them there?" Agol nods and they hurry off after he's unlocked the chains on them using a key from one of the unconscious guards.

I head over to Nada and write "Idiot" on his face, because that's what he is. Then I go into the castle to retrieve my bag. Barago stops me. "I'm coming with you. Is there anything else you need?"

I pause, then ask, "Where's the treasury? Nada owes me twenty bags of gold."

Barago stares at me, then smiles, and then laughs a long hearty laugh that sounds like a dog barking. "I like you," he says. "He most definitely does, and one more besides. I'll witness to it, too." He claps me on the shoulder and leads me that way. We stop at the kitchens on the way to pick up food as well, then we're meeting the others at the stable and riding away hard. We need to escape now before people start waking up.

We're waiting outside town, having arrived mid-morning after breakfast and walking to get here. It's fun to walk with Geena. Gaya and I each took one hand and she sang some local songs for me. They're different, but nice. I sang a couple of nursery rhymes to her, although it took some time for me to remember them, it's been so long since I've sung them. That was embarrassing.

At the moment, while we wait, I'm enjoying basking in the feeling of being surrounded and warmed by Izark again. I probably shouldn't. I don't know that he's really ready to come find me yet. He has to because of circumstances, but that may be all it is.

At the same time, I know it's been as painful for him as for me, even if he doesn't understand it. I don't know if I'll have the time to tell him with all of the people who we're going to be with. It may not be something I can talk about publicly. "Ah! They're coming!"

Gaya startles. "Where? I can't see anything."

"No, I feel it. Izark and others." I wonder why I can feel the rest. Have I been given a gift by this place because of my connection to Izark, or am I so connected to Izark that I can feel what he feels when he's this close? The latter seems more reasonable.

The sound of the horse's hooves comes next, then finally we can see them. I'm so excited that my rational mind almost can't clamp down enough to hold me still. He doesn't like public displays of any kind. I hope I can prevent myself from embarrassing him. 

He's in the front of the group of men, and I suddenly realize I want them to understand that I'm Izark's even if it does embarrass him. I'm remembering the attention the other young men gave me. It would be nice to not have any jealousy confrontations, not when I only want to be with one of them.

Izark leaps off his horse, in his usual hurry when he's worried. He's wearing the blue bandanna I made for him, and his clothes are not in shreds. I wait for him to give his instructions, then move to him. I allow the full adoration I feel to show on my face. I put my hand gently on the side of the bandanna. "You're still wearing it. Thank you, Izark. I'm glad to see you're safe."

I put my hand on his chest, then suddenly, I can't fight myself any longer and my arms are wrapped around him and I'm crying again. "That hurt so badly, Izark," I whisper. "Don't do that again. Please." He lets me cry briefly, then goes to push me away but I let go and take a hand instead. He's blushing furiously and is looking at me shocked, not sure what I'm doing to him now. "Which horse?" I ask.

When we're finally to where the stadium is, we go around the town to the west side. The wind brings me the scent of Noriko, missing now for three days, and I lead everyone straight for where she is. When we're close enough, I jump off my horse.

Gaya is hurrying up to me, her arms outstretched. "There you are! I'm glad to see all of you safe!"

I hurry so she won't hug me. "Gaya, we've brought you a horse. You'll ride this one. Geena will ride with her father. Noriko will ride with --," I turn and Noriko is standing right in front of me and I freeze. The last time I saw her, things were cold and strained between us and she was different. I'd forgotten in my worry and relief to hear her.

She puts her hand lightly on the side of the bandana she made me. I'm suddenly glad I put it back on before leaving the castle. I don't want her angry with me. While she has a very odd expression on her face, she seems as cool as before, and her words are words of ownership and servitude at the same time, "You're still wearing it. Thank you, Izark. I'm glad to see you're safe."

Her other hand lands lightly on my chest, then she's suddenly the water fountain again and her arms are wrapped around me tightly. "That hurt so badly, Izark," she whispers. "Don't do that again. Please."

Now is not the time for this, for all I understand why she would cry. I move to push her back and she lets go on her own, but her hand reaches out and takes mine. I don't know what she's doing now and I'm sure I couldn't be redder for yet another public display of affection. 

"Which horse?" she asks as if nothing happened. Or perhaps to get me unstuck and moving again, I'm not sure which. Her hug was very warm and pleasant, and I find myself missing her arms as soon as they're gone. I help her up into the extra horse's saddle and leap up behind her. Everyone else is ready to go. Gaya points the direction we need to go and we all take off at a gallop.

When we're far enough we feel we can let the horses rest and carry us slower, Noriko asks me quietly if I'll let us lag behind to talk privately. I apologize to the group and slow down our horse, saying it's tired extra fast carrying two of us, but we'll continue to follow them and catch up if things become difficult. I get a few eyes from people who believe I have other motives. Noriko either doesn't see them or doesn't care. Her first words to me make me not care either. Their assumptions are just fine.

"I'm sorry, Izark, to embarrass you. I wanted them to understand that I am yours, from the beginning. All three of the other young men, but Banadam in particular, met me at Gaya's and I don't want the interest in their eyes." He stiffens slightly. I know dragons are very jealous of their treasures.

I'm not pleased that the other young men in our group already look at her with eyes that see a potential mate. She's kind and just different enough to draw the eyes of men. I can't care if what I feel could be labeled jealousy. If we come out the other side of our destiny intact, she'll be mine. If we don't, we'll both be dead. There doesn't need to be anyone else stepping into places they don't belong.

It's interesting that she also feels the same and was like that on my arrival in order to set them back into place, to tell them that she wants to only be by my side. I'm relieved somewhat to know it was a play. I frown slightly. Was she doing that at Gaya's, too? Acting in such a way she could stand to see me go? Her request to never leave her again or cause her that pain seems to say so.

I take his right hand and put it over my heart, holding that rein in my left hand. "I am Izark's. Only he can fill the hole in my heart that hurt for the last three days. Did you finally feel it this time?"

Many things flash through my mind all at once. Noriko is talking about something specific. She's referencing my very last thought, that she was a servant in action, but to cover a pain in order to be obedient to my request that she stay safely with Gaya. And, she's known for some time that there's a thing between us that she feels I don't recognize.

It's that specific thing she said on the hill before we reached the town. That there's a thread between us that can't be denied. She's not talking about our destiny. She didn't know it then and I don't think she knows it now. She's talking about something she's logically reasoned out for herself exists between the two of us.

I think back through the last three days to see what I might have felt differently. It's her words that she had a hole that can only be filled by my presence that my own soul resonates with. There was also an empty place inside me that could only be filled by her. Until I knew she was okay, I was empty there. It wasn't just my compassion for a fellow sojourner on this planet. "Yes. ...But I don't know why." What has she learned?

She actually says, "I've been learning it. May I tell you?"

I sit in shock briefly, then turn her around enough to look into her face. "You will ask if you can teach? Not just teach?"

She blushes and looks down. "Yes."

I grin at her a small grin, trying to not let it out too much. This is new, for the Teacher to meekly ask if I even want to hear. I feel like she's opened herself up to the tease and I couldn't let it be. "Okay. Teach." I really do want to know, but I enjoy her expression of self-scolding embarrassment for all the times she didn't ask. I take my hand and the reins back to listen.

She tells me of the time she left me in Calco to find the doctor. On the return, she couldn't remember which building was our inn. She desperately asked in her heart for which one I was in and was immediately answered there in her heart which one it was, and it was correct.

She tells me of when she fell asleep after I learned she'd done her dangerous experiment, that she knew where I was in the inn in Calco and when I'd lain down to sleep. Then in the morning she'd been cold because I wasn't near, and had felt it immediately upon rising, before even knowing I'd left. When I arrived again in the village, she felt me coming closer and knew before I rounded the corner I was come. 

She says she determined it was more than her need of something familiar and her fear of being in a new place when she felt me coming to find her at the washing stream, felt me stop, and turned to see it really was me. That was reconfirmed when I arrived for the banquet from my turn at the washing stream. She could feel me coming and could be prepared to greet me again.

She speaks of how that changed slowly over time as we traveled together and because it was consistent, she began to experiment to see if I was also affected by it, or just her. When the horse bucked her off she wasn't worried. She knew where I was and how far away and followed me at the right distance to not get into trouble with the shadow insects. 

"You always are looking for me anxiously at the same distance I am looking for you, also feeling anxious," I say. "Around the fire, as I would gather firewood, it didn't matter. I tested trying to go farther and you would panic and come find me, but it was my panic, too, even if I really wanted to go farther. It was very hard to do those tests. And if you got anxious because you could sense creatures coming, I would feel anxious and return more quickly."

Then I tell him of my last experiment, when we walked from that last house to the town. "I knew I had time to take off my shoes and carry the others for a while, but I knew when I sat to put the others on, you would stop and look for me, that it would take too long and you wouldn't be able to keep walking until I was done.

"It was flexible, how far you let me get behind you until then. After then, it was always ten feet. If I walked slow, or fast, you changed to be the same. It wasn't kind to play like that -- although it was experimentation -- so I stopped. I closed my eyes and didn't open them again until you pushed on that thread to tell me it was time to stop. I was at three feet from you and I already knew I'd be standing there.

"It was the same as I knew that if I ran towards the town, you'd let me go until you decided you were done with how thin the thread had stretched between us and would come to catch me. I have never doubted that this thread will bring you back to me, and me to you every time. That's why I said it, that you would come back."

I'm trying to see it. I've always used my wind to know where she is, and if she was safe. It's my natural habit. She can't manipulate the wind, and when I use it for that, it's very gentle -- enough most people don't notice it. I wonder if she's learned to. But if she tried to go farther and found it so difficult and I responded anyway, that doesn't fit the model. I would've only made the wind stronger and should've been okay as long as there weren't monsters or dangerous creatures around.

And when she ran from me, I didn't use the wind. I used my energy to see if she would run from it or return to death. And at the end, I had the overwhelming feeling that she would not get away, would not leave me, and would be mine. So much so that later I wondered at it. It had overwhelmed all my other voices, even my fear. It may not be a safe thread, if it's tied to that feeling I had that day. That's a feeling I would ascribe to the Sky Demon.

"When you left Aunt Gaya's I was worried. I waited very still to see what would happen to that thread. I knew you wouldn't come back for a feeling. I was glad when she put her arm around me and turned me back into the store. I would have run out of the door and back to you without intending it. I don't know how far you were when it happened. The thread broke and I had only an empty, cold, dark hole in my heart. Every time I stopped thinking of things, I was thinking of you.

"After the fight and I was left alone in the house, I wanted to find you very badly. Aunt Gaya had told me I should, but where was I to look? I knew you weren't in the town, and the thread was broken." I turn to look at Izark over my shoulder, feeling very sober. "I kept waking up and being frightened. One time it was because cold water was running over my hand. I was holding a thermos and filling it. I looked into my bag and it was packed to travel. I'd done it without even being aware."

I can see how that would be frightening.

"I became upset with whatever it was that was making me do that, so I asked into that space -- where the thread should have been -- where you were that it was going to drag me to through a dangerous city while sleeping with my eyes open so that I would die before walking twenty houses."

I blink. She's even feisty against what I'm feisty against.

"And it pointed the direction I should go."

My breath catches. Even I looked towards where she was without knowing it, had been on the roof without knowing how I'd gotten there, calculating how to get back to her before I'd decided I would go. I shiver as that thought reminds me of being on top of the mountain before we got to Calco, the fear of not remembering how we got onto the ledge. That remembered fear doesn't help me.

"That town is frustrating. I would follow the line but it was pointed straight for you. No street in that city walks that straight line. That's how I got lost, then cornered by a gang of bullies. I called for you in my heart and mind, wishing for you to free me and protect me from them, even though I knew it wasn't possible. More than once I called you as they would corner me again and again. I literally fell into Agol's lap as I leaped over the wall of the dead end. He saved me from the boys.

"I still wanted to get to you, and I was glad to find someone who might help me get to you and live doing it, but it was too late to try that day. We stayed that night at Aunt Gaya's shop. It had been looted and all there was was a little food to feed us.

"She came back early that next morning before dawn. We were eating an early breakfast together to talk about what we could do, since she'd seen you dropped off at the castle. She followed Duke Jeida and the soldiers there and was watching the gate. Agol said he would be willing to help, and then I heard your voice.

"When I answered you, then I saw you and you saw me and we talked. I was relieved to know you were okay. She said you'd been knocked out and were unconscious. When we were at the inn outside the stadium, Gaya asked me to try to talk to you again, so we could discuss the plans, but everything I tried didn't work.

"I finally asked Geena to teach me what the seers did to see. I tried that. I relaxed like I was on the raft on the river in the caves, then put my wish to talk to you into that place in my heart, and pulled on the thread to bring us closer together. Then I was able to reach you.

"It takes a lot of energy, just like for seers just beginning to learn to see. I couldn't hold it any longer than we talked." I pause, then add, "I think if you hadn't gone away, we wouldn't have learned to see or hear each other. The bond was strengthened for the breaking."

That doesn't make me feel better. It's yet another sign I may have chosen wrongly to leave her when it was the only thing I could think of to prevent that very thing from happening.

"When I reached for you and we talked, I felt that hole begin to fill again and by the time we were done, I felt you all around me again, even more than before, and I tried to send the same back to you. Since then I can feel you all the time, like a warm blanket inside and around me."

I frown. I did feel her at that time, but there's been nothing else since then. She hasn't been with me for the wind to bring me knowledge of where she is or how she's doing. Not until we were close enough for the wind to bring it to me. "That hasn't happened to me."

"Then you need to try to talk to me. Pull on that hurt, that need to see me, and talk to me through it."

I'm not sure I want to do that. I don't trust that link, that thread. She continues to teach, however, not understanding why I hesitate. 

"You'll need to try and try again until you understand. It took me all yesterday to learn it. It is tiring, so rest between."

I still don't answer her.

"Izark. It will make it stop hurting, and you'll know where I am again. Is that not enough to help you not be worried?"

I need more answers. "But why do we have this connection?" I ask.

I hesitate. I don't know how much to tell him. He doesn't want me to know his secret, but I do now. Would it help him if he knew I know? The things I want to tell him I think would help him, but.... "Izark knows," I say simply.

That isn't an answer and is too evasive. Now I trust it even less, and my hands tighten on the reins. 

"Izark. You do not need to be afraid. I will protect you."

Simple, weak Noriko, protect me? "How can you protect me? What do you know?" It comes out bitter. She's the Awakening who'll lead me to destruction. How can that be protection?

I can't take it. It may be a bad idea, but I want to give him hope. "I know, Izark. I know the seers can't see you or me, not in the present, nor in the future. I know that means that we are protected, and that the future is not set. Not until the decision is made, and maybe even then it is not set."

I'm stunned. How can she know those things? Did she speak more with Geena, to ask about our future, or hers? Why does she believe that our destinies are still flexible? Her further words stun me even more.

"You are not evil, Izark. You have not chosen that. You do not have to choose it. The future is still flexible for you, and for me. Let me help you choose what you want to choose, not what those in the world want to choose for you." He's hanging on to my every word, but at the same time he's disbelieving.

It's what I've been hoping for my whole life. It's what I've never really believed, because no one does. She's come here without preconceived expectations, not even knowing what she is. She's seen it differently. I'm reminded of my whisper to myself. Can I hope? It whispers to me again and in the face of the Teacher I can't move to say yes or no.

I sigh. "Izark, you cannot leave me in the world without your protection and expect me to not hear the words of those around me. Duke Jeida said it. Gaya defined it for me. You know my mind. It was not hard to understand it." 

She knows. She knows it now. I want to move, but I sit still. I want to flee. Instead I think and even that's hard because turning around on ice hurts when there's pain and fear involved. Even knowing our destinies now, learning it that first night I was gone, she still called for me, ran towards me, hugged me today, is trying to encourage me to have hope, isn't running away, nor accusing me, nor even scolding me for not saying the words to her I couldn't say.

"If you really believe that to have me far from you helps you, then I will do it, but I don't think that is the right thing." I look up at the sky, wondering what expression is on his face. "I thought about it last night. You left me and everything that happened in my day, even if frightening, made it so that we had to meet again today.

"Not only that, but we also rescued a good man today, one who wants to do his best. I think Agol wants to do his best also. The other man who helped you, is he also like this? Gaya is as well. Something is helping us, Izark. Protecting us, and helping us to help other good people. I want to understand what that is. It is not darkness and it is not evil. You are already being used for good because you want to be. I will walk that path with you, if you will let me."

Her words are like a cooling rain after summer's heat. Hard to take into the baked soil, but so desperately needed, so desperately desired by my aching soul that I can only soak them up until they overflow and leak out of my eyes in silent tracks. If only that could be true.

I'm glad I've helped these good people, even if I've been through difficulties. I've always wanted to do good for others, and have done so to the best of my abilities. Is there really something helping us to walk that path, too? Is it even possible?

I finally turn to look at him and silent tears are streaking down his cheeks. He looks away, embarrassed that I've seen. I turn enough to wipe a cheek and smile gently at him. "Izark is beautiful. In all his forms."

I know she's seen them, even though I thought perhaps she hadn't because she's never commented on them. "You aren't afraid?" I ask gently, not able to believe that either, and testing her.

I shake my head. "No. I know Izark's heart. There is nothing to fear." For the first time of his own accord, he gently wraps his arms around me, as if to protect me in person the way his warmth always protects me. It makes me have to face forward again, so I can't see his face.

Because I'm grateful for her words I wrap my arm gently around her to hold her close to me. Because I disbelieve and need to test her to see how far that goes, I whisper in her ear, "Would you die for me?"

I'm surprised by the question. "If that is what you wanted or needed, but Izark has already ordered me to live for him, so that is what I am doing."

I can feel that she isn't answering me, the compassionate guardian, but the Sky Demon who distrusts and will kill if necessary. Even that's a sign she understands beyond what I thought she did. But it's the right answer.

"And if I were to kill you?" What would she do when the final end comes and that's the result?

My heart races, but I answer, "I would prevent it because that would make you too sad."

Her heart beat increases, but she answers steadily. Inside I slump a little. She's again answered properly. She spoke to the Izark who's afraid, whom she wants to comfort and protect.

It takes me a moment to recover myself from the Sky Demon, then I tell her what it was like for me. That I heard her when she called for me. That I'd been prevented by Nada's men and imprisoned because of the poison of the other wind user. That I'd been surprised to find the Duke and his men in that prison with me to answer to my worries.

I tell her how surprised I'd been that when I called her we were able to talk and see each other. That it had been interrupted by Nada coming to speak to me. That I'd tried to reach her as much as she'd tried to reach me.

Then I look at the hope she's been showing me since she came to the Sea of Trees, and say, "I'll work on learning it. I want to know where you are and that you're safe." It takes all of my courage to say it, but when I have, I feel relieved and anxious to begin learning right away.

I put my hand on his arm around my shoulders, to comfort and calm him. "Just start with words. It's easier, and the knowing comes with it. Visions can come later when we're stronger. I think it happened because we both were missing each other too much, and I remember very much wishing I could see you."

I nod, my head still lightly touching hers, where I haven't been able to move from since I whispered in her ear. "Me, too. Wanting must be part of it."

"I think so," I agree.

I'll learn with her, letting her teach me. If the Teacher can walk us on the path away from Destruction, then I'll walk that way. Even if I fear walking with the Awakening, I'll do it. I loathe the thought of becoming Destruction even more.

Chapter Text

The White Mist Forest used to be inhabited, with a village at the center of it where travelers between Zago and Guzena would rest at inns and taverns. That passage is the shortest distance between the two countries that are separated by a tall mountain range. An underground tunnel system allowed the travelers to pass safely through those mountains. The other way to get between the two countries is along roads that go around the mountains, now with checkpoints on them used to gain even more money for the corrupt governments.

The main reason that people no longer take the road through the White Mist Forest is because a demon took up residence there that killed the villagers and now kills any travelers who try to pass through. The main reason we don't want to take the longer road is because we're fugitives on the run.

As soon as the government seers let those checkpoints know we're escaping the country, we'll be stopped, questioned, and likely put back into prison -- all of us. And with so many of us now, particularly with so many good fighters, Duke Jeida will have our jail break and that arrest used as "proof" he's the head of the so-called rebellion.

We don't want to bring that upon him when what we want to do is protect him. With Geena seeing that's the path we should take, and with enough of us who are strong, and with Barago's warning that Kemil is already on his way to Nada's castle to pick up Duke Jeida, and is likely almost there, we decide we'll chance the White Mist Forest. I'm not concerned, other than the usual worries I have for Noriko when we're traveling, because I know what I am. There is no demon that can withstand me.

The Sky Demon is not just some monster of destruction. The Sky Demon is the King of Demons. I may not want to become that, and I may be fighting my own body constantly, which might be making me weaker than I have the potential to be, but there is no demon on this planet that can withstand me. I'm not in a hurry to test it, by any means, but I'm not afraid. I'm afraid of me, not them, because that's what I am.

It's why I can talk to the creatures of the planet. It's why I know where they are, where the monsters are, and why I can sense them coming. It's why I can control fire and wind, and even nature itself if I cared to pull on even more power. Because I can control nature, I can destroy with it. It's the energy and power of nature itself that I manipulate. I choose to manipulate it gently, only when necessary to the minimum necessary level, and only to defend. The prophecy says that I will use it to bring darkness and destruction.

For Noriko to say that I can choose, that the prophecy may not be true and that destiny hasn't been determined yet sits with me all that day as we ride towards the White Mist Forest. I work with her to learn how to talk to her on that heart thread, as she calls it, like the seers see.

It is tiring, like working a new set of muscles. I rest when she rests, trusting her level of strength to moderate mine. As usual: my personal level of capacity is so much greater I need to have her outer limitation to have any sense that it might be time to rest. If I'm going to be facing a demon later today or tomorrow, I shouldn't work harder on this than reasonable.

Because Noriko's words are simmering inside doing the work of the Teacher, and because she's generally close again, I'm much more calm than I was. Other things that were born earlier in our travels are also being strengthened and trying to find life now that there is new and greater light in my own life. I'm trying to ignore those things for now. One thing at a time is enough and that was such a large lesson it will take me many days to be able to really face it all properly.

When we reach the edge of the white mist woods, Izark has learned to talk to me and we've been practicing. We've also rested because it is tiring, even though we're sitting so closely together. Distance doesn't seem to affect ability, nor cost of effort, which I find interesting. That puts it in the category of electricity and radio waves, which propagate without much loss to integrity (like as in all the radio waves going around Earth leave it and head out into space for anyone light years away to listen to eventually).

We arrive at the edge of the woods and cautiously enter. It seems a normal woods, but the rumors say it's dangerous, so we're watchful. The horses begin to snort and become nervous, and the farther in we go they are getting worse until two or three begin to buck. It's decided we'll leave them and walk the rest of the way. Perhaps they're sensing the monster and it's strong enough to affect them, like the horse I rode bucked me off that night I first heard about the Sky Demon and the Awakening.

The new man's name is Barago and he offers to carry Izark's prize winnings of twenty bags of gold. That's a lot. One gold coin is ten times the value of the highest coin most people carry to purchase things. At twenty bags, Izark is now quite wealthy. We should be able to get well into Guzena and then have time to find employment there before it runs out.

Banadam is talking to Gaya and is sounding angry, which doesn't really seem like him, except he seems generally excitable. "Hey look!" It's one of Duke Jeida's sons. He's pointing just off to our right. We're arriving at a village, but it's silent, deserted. We enter and look around. Duke Jeida says that when the world was peaceful, long ago, this village was inhabited.

We reach the forest proper and ride into trees. Many of our group are nervous, but we bravely commit to the path. I'm beginning to feel like I'm being poked by a stick held by a teasing boy when the horses start to snort and shy. As that feeling increases, the horses start to whinny and buck. My horse does as well, for all it's carrying two of us, and I try to calm it, but it can't focus well enough to hear what I say to it.

"I think we'd better let the horses go," I say. "If they bolt we may be separated and lost in the woods." It would be a reasonable tactic of a demon to be able to pick us off one by one.

The others agree because all of the horses have been acting this way. We divide up the bags between us and let the horses go. They head back out of the woods as fast as they can go. We walk for not really very far and are suddenly entering a clearing in the forest with old broken down houses and buildings in it.

"A long time ago, people used to live here. It was peaceful here in those days," Duke Jeida says. He sounds like he might have seen it when it was like that. Perhaps he came through when he was young.

thudd! clink, clink.

I jump and grab Izark's arm, startled by the sudden noise in the stillness of the village, my flight reaction instinctively activated.

I'm already paying close attention. The wind hasn't brought anything to me that's here in the village. There is a monster headed this way, but it's stalking us and moving slowly, not sure it wants to attack so many people at once, so I'm not worried just yet.

Barago comes out of the house brushing himself off. "Yuck. Disgusting. A shelf fell on me." Banadam mutters a slur against him and again I wonder what's wrong with Banadam. Is he afraid of the rumors of the forest? One of the brothers scolds him and he huffs off. I take a deep breath and let go of Izark. Nothing to run from this time.

I can still feel the prickling, but it feels a little different this time. I'm trying to decide what attack it's trying this time when Duke Jeida says, "This village is half-way through the forest. We should be at the border soon enough."

I blink. "Ah...we haven't walked far enough," I say. They look at me. I blush, not really having wanted to draw attention to myself. "I still have soft feet, but they don't hurt enough to have walked that far yet." Not to mention timing-wise it looked to me like it would take two days to walk through the forest, but that's at my pace and lack of experience with judging distances.

Everyone is uncertain. "Maybe it's a different village?" Gaya offers. None of us know. It's our first time to enter. Even Duke Jeida isn't sure. We can still see the mountains, so we head that way out of the village and continue our journey. 

There's a twist in my head and I shake it, trying to get it cleared. In four more steps we're seeing the village again and entering it from a slightly different location.  The demon has the power to redirect our steps. I don't say anything. It will give away too much to everyone for me to do so. It isn't damaging, just annoying -- at least so far.

"Ah!" It's the other of Duke Jeida's sons. I'll need to learn their names properly soon. Maybe tonight at the fire. I blink in surprise like everyone else. We're looking at the exact same village we just left three minutes ago. Everyone shares uneasy looks, and they look at me. I look back with wide eyes, just as worried as they are. We try again and again we end up back at the same village within only a few minutes of walking straight.

We try again one more time and that third time is the final proof for me. The demon again has sent us back into the village. "We're trapped...." It's Banadam and he's sounding afraid. I wonder if the prickling is an attack against us directly, like against the horses.

Rontarna says, "Let's try one more time and be really careful. There might be a way --"

"It won't help! We'll walk in circles until we can't walk any more and then the monster will come. We can fight it, but not exhausted!" Banadam rants. Barago asks me if I've seen anything like it. I haven't and say so. I also have to have the demon appear to be able to do anything about it. Banadam turns to me and scolds harshly. "Even if you're as tough as a monster, you're totally useless when you're really needed, eh?"

I don't know if he saw my changes at the castle, but the things I did are usually enough. The strength to defeat seventeen men by myself is sign enough for most men. Being able to manipulate the wind is also. Even though I understand these things, I prickle to match the prickling attack I've been feeling, the word I hate being called having come from his lips.

Every mouth drops open. Banadam has just crossed the line from afraid to picking fights. Gaya steps up immediately to defend Izark, but Banadam continues to place blame on others -- Gaya, Geena. I shake my head, trying to clear it.

While I fight that internal fight others scold Banadam for me. He continues to place blame on others for the fear he feels. Then Noriko's voice cuts through the prickling and emotions. "Banadam, please stop."

Banadam glowers at Noriko. "You were the one who said it first, that it wasn't right. Did you do it?"

Like a human girl could do something like this. Noriko stays kind and calm, pleading with him to return to sane thinking. "Banadam, this isn't like you...but it is like the horses. Being made to be afraid. Please. Do not be afraid." She also doesn't like to see me afraid.

Banadam is already too affected and his hand rises to strike Noriko. His wrist is immediately in my hand. I take the time to calm down. As Noriko said, this isn't him doing this, not really. "If there was something here making the horses want to run off with us, then that thing is still here, trying to get us to fight amongst ourselves. Listen to Noriko." 

Demons feast off of the negative emotions of humans. It would want us to become angry with each other and fight so that it could feast before it killed us. And if we killed each other that would be even better because we would take those angry feelings into death with us and feed it forever.

I had someone once, when I was very young, tell me that I couldn't be a demon because I don't eat negative emotions. That one hope has held me walking forward since then. It's still a known truth for other demons, though.

I jump in quickly so Banadam doesn't try to fight with Izark as well. Walking to Banadam, I put my hand on his arm and look into his eyes. "Banadam. You were nice to me at Gaya's. To be so angry as to want to hit me isn't like you. Please, don't be afraid.

"This is a [magic], a...demon-like power. I've heard of it in my land. If we can find the source and remove it, we'll be able to walk out again. We knew entering we would have to fight it. If we are in the circle center, it is close. Please don't be afraid. You are strong. Many are strong. We will win and leave." As I look into his eyes, rationality returns to him and he looks around.

I see Banadam's mind become his own again because of the power of the gentle Teacher to calm and lead others to proper reasoning. It's a small example of what she did for me earlier today. I'm adding her teaching to my list of what she knows from her home world. Again she has talked calmly about demons and their power and I decide that she also must have demons in her world, to already know so much and not be afraid.

A confused and embarrassed Banadam says, "Ah, what...? How awful...." Regret is in his voice and I let his hand go. He won't hurt Noriko now. She's protected both him and me to return his mind back to him. "I'm sorry," he says to Noriko.

There's a sudden downpouring of rain over us and the whole village. The prickling is gone, but there's a heavy weight over the village. This is another power of the demon. Noriko grabs hold of my sleeve and we all retreat to one of the houses that's mostly whole with few holes in the roof. Now that Noriko has pointed out that we knew already there would be a demon with powers, others say the rain must also be a power of the demon and I don't have to.

I'm suddenly afraid and I grab Izark's sleeve. We all run into the closest house. As Izark and I enter, I say to him quietly, "Izark, it is [sentient] and heard me? To change from circles and making angry to bringing rain?"

I'm looking for the best defensible place in the room where I can swing my sword freely if I need to. "Likely, yes." Her hold on my sleeve tightens and I look at her, since that's often a sign of something concerning I need to pay attention to. Her face is frightened. "Why does that scare you? It's a monster."

I shake my head. "No, monsters are the flower worms, and the shadow ants, and the other things you fought to keep me safe. They only attack. They do not think. This is different."

I take us to the far back of the house's main room and settle down, pulling her to sit next to me. She sits too close in her fear and I shift away. She notices and stays put, surprising me slightly. She's afraid and distracted, but now notices the world around her at the same time. That's an improvement. I won't have to worry she'll be dead before I can get to her any more. At least she doesn't freeze any more. Now she runs, very fast. That was a great improvement, when she learned that.

I try to address her concern. "No, you said it yourself. This is demon-like power. It's likely a demon." She looks at me with eyes glazed over, as if we've just jumped from the cliff again. 

I blink at Izark, trying to put the reality of a demon before me into my reality. I whisper to him, "Can you defeat one?"

My eyes widen. She knows what I am now, or so she claimed. Has her own brain been affected? Or...is it just her being Noriko? Given the expression on her face and how much it reminds me of the first day we were together, I can't help but feel it's another opportunity to tease.

I rest my elbow on my knee and my head on my hand, to let her look into my eyes fully. My lip curls up as she continues to not see it for herself. I get to do the tease. "Noriko. Have you already forgotten what I am?"

I blink at him. I can only answer a croaky sort of quiet, "Yes?"

She blinks like a pond frog and sounds like one, too. I laugh at her, silently, for a long time. It was a wonderful tease. When I recover, I pat her on the head. "Yes, Noriko. It's okay. They can be defeated."

I look at him a moment longer, drinking in the reassurance in his eyes, then let go of his arm. "Okay." It comes out as a timid, quiet word, but if he says so, it is so. 

Is she really so afraid when she was so calm before? 

"They don't really exist in my...place. They are only in stories. We can't fight them, if they are real...at least I don't think we can."

He gives me a sharper look of disbelief, as if he's trying to understand the words that just came out of my mouth: as if they don't fit his understanding of who I am. He doesn't ask, though, or say anything else.

I pin her with my eyes, surprised by her statement. She was so calm because they weren't real? Then how does she know so much about them? ...Are they only in storybooks now? ...Have they hunted down all the demons that once existed so they're now only legend? I finally look away from her. It doesn't matter here, in this place. If she has knowledge that can help her or others when we need it, that's good enough.

She's still learning the differences between the two worlds and the largest differences can still make her freeze and have great fear. It's been this long to see all these reactions, but having seen them that first day, I'm glad that at least she isn't weeping on my chest. And the tease was well worth it, when she should have known better.

Later I wonder if she isn't afraid of me because to her I'm not really a demon, since in her world that's only a word, not a real thing, and she's only seen me as human other than the small changes. When the other changes come on me, then will she fear this deeply as well? That thought makes me sad, but I push it away, using her own words of hope to help me. If I can have my way, none of the other possible changes will ever come.

A fire has been lit in the old fireplace to warm us up and dry us out, and food is set out. It's as good a time as any to eat, although it seems a little early by tummy-time. Banadam tries to explain how he felt but no one seems willing to work at it too hard, until Geena apologizes for leading us into trouble. He immediately goes to apologize to her for his words. Gaya also tries to make Geena feel better.

I giggle, happy that everyone is finally feeling better and not afraid. It feels good to smile. "We should watch ourselves in case it happens again," Duke Jeida says. "Thank you, Noriko for helping us understand what was going on."

My mouth hangs open in surprise for a moment, then I'm blushing. "No. It was nothing. I was glad Izark and Banadam were willing to listen to my small words. I know it's hard to not understand. If it was a help, then I'm glad."

"The rain's over!" Gaya says. Everyone looks around and it's true. We can't hear the rain anymore.

I get ready to run. If the monster is a demon, and the demon is sentient, it just decided rain wasn't useful to get at us. All we did was go hide from it and have a picnic, after all. Izark is crouched up on his toes, his hand on his sword, replicating his stance just before the bandits entered the room at the inn in Calco.

There's a rising anger and hatred coming our way. I'm up in a crouch, my hand on the hilt of my sword. Noriko immediately also goes up into a crouch watching me. "Something's coming!" I warn everyone.

I'm up on my feet at once, standing out of his way and behind him slightly. My place is to protect him until I can't, then run to protect myself, or vice versa depending on the situation.

In the next moment the front door is bursting open, black hair streaming through and into the room. It heads straight for Noriko. She rolls and I'm standing over her to protect her, my sword slicing at the hair. It's harder than the flower insects almost, and I have to use some power to cut through it.

Setting that as my level to work with, I damage it as much as I can while keeping Noriko protected. The hair continues to come in through the door and other windows, trying to catch Noriko, and sometimes catching me because it doesn't like being cut.

The front door explodes inward with a crash and a long black thing snakes into the room. Okay..., not too surprising actually, just sudden. Long. Black. Tentacle sort of thing. That all fits my understanding of monsters and intelligence: like Ursula the octopus witch in Disney's The Little Mermaid. There are probably others in my reading and watching repertoire, but I don't have time to think about them because it's coming directly for me.

I drop to the ground and roll away from it at the same time as Izark is yelling my name. My roll ends at his foot. He's moved to stand over me, moving even faster than I did (of course). There's a loud bam! as the tentacle hits the wall behind where we were sitting. The whole room erupts as everyone jumps up and pulls swords.

Izark swings as the tentacle heads back towards us. His sword slashes the end of the black strand off and pieces of it flutter to the ground. It's long and soft, like Izark's hair. I wonder at it.

"It's targeting Noriko!" Izark yells in frustration. I jump up to my feet again, but I stay crouched down to stay a small target, waiting to see where I need to run to next.

He's got that direction. I turn to cover our back, and let out a strangled yell as I see another tentacle coming from the back of the house and headed my way. I try to roll again, but because I've turned, I get tangled up in my own crossed feet. It slips past me, missing by just a hair because of my fumble, but now Izark is fighting two of them at once.

I roll up to standing and put my back to the wall and watch both tentacles. The others are trying to hack at it as well, but are having difficulty. It seems Izark's strength and power make a difference in fighting against it.

A third tentacle zooms into the room through a window. I run, tying the tentacles up in knots as the third tentacle crosses the first one. I alternately roll and dodge and I can tell Izark is getting desperate. Even if he cuts off an end, more comes back at him (or me).

As I roll past the fireplace, one of the tentacles gets singed. "It's a hair monster!" Agol cries. "It was hurt by the flames. Get fire." He's running to the fireplace to grab up a burning stick from it when one of the hair strands turns to grab at him. I instinctively push him out of the way, towards the fireplace, since I'm passing him again, and drop one more time.

The monster must finally have figured out my pattern. The tentacle drops, abandoning the chase of Agol, and grabs me. "Eeek!" I cry.

The hair monster grabs me by both arms so I can't protect her this time and it's pulling her out the door. "Noriko!" I cry and the others rush out the door, those not trying to attack the hair monster in the room anyway. 

As I'm hauled out of the building, I see the tentacles Izark was fighting grab him about the arms so he's pinned. "Izark!" I'm as worried about him, now. If those things pull, they'll pull him apart.

I'm hauled up into the air and I can see that the three tentacles were just that, parts of the main monster. Now I feel like Link in Skyward Sword, when he goes back into the past in the desert to the ocean and has to fight the many-tentacled monster on the deck of the ship...except that the main part of this monster is sitting on top of one of the other houses like a very badly groomed wig of long hair.

If I could get my hands free, I'd be brushing it with a giant brush...or giving it a very good shampooing. It's greasier and dirtier than any hair I've ever had the distinct displeasure to deal with. But if I had an eon, I could braid to my heart's content. I wonder if I could get to my brush if it would suddenly be magical and tame this thing.

"Noriko!" I look down. Everyone has rushed out of the house... except it's the Duke Jeida complement "everyone". The other half, the half important to me, are still in the house. I hope Izark is okay, then he's zooming out the door as well. I sigh in relief. He gives an order to the men waiting below me and he's leaping up on the roof below me, then into the air, his sword swinging.

Using an energy attack, I tear my way out of the hold it has on me and I'm through the door. The hair monster is very large, sitting on top of one of the other houses. It's pulling Noriko towards the main part of it. I call to her again and she answers.

Quickly I say to those standing outside looking up at her, "Catch her." Then I'm kicking off the ground and in the air. I slice at the piece of hair that has hold of her and go to jump off the main part to get to her to catch her when I'm caught and bound quickly around all of my limbs. 

"Ah...?" He won't be able to catch me. I'm supposed to fall to them? I look below me at the men who think they're going to catch me. "Izark, no!" It's too late and I'm falling.

I can't do much except watch as Izark does try to leap off the main part of the monster and head back to catch me, but it grabs him, too, and I'm suddenly on top of everyone that was under me, rather violently. Somehow we manage to survive it. I have no idea how. That should have broken my bones at the least, and since I landed on other people, their's as well. Are the physics of this world really that different? I'm up as soon as I'm sure I'm okay.

Inexorably I'm pulled into the center of the monster. I can see Noriko was caught by the others, however, so I'm not too worried. I can kill the monster properly from inside of it where the others won't see the full strength of what I'll need to do. "Everyone, protect Noriko!" I cry out, then am slurped up into the monster, the hairs pushing me closer and closer to its center.

"Sheshe," I say as my eyes look for Izark. The hair monster has him all wrapped up so he can't swing his sword, and it's drawing him into the ...mouth? It doesn't look like a mouth, but neither does the mouth of a venus flytrap or the carnivorous pitcher plant. "Izark!" I cry. He is trying to fight it, but it's inexorably pulling him in.

"Everyone, protect Noriko!" he yells just as it finally wins and pulls him in. I look around quickly but there are no other tentacles around us. The monster has decided to focus on Izark.

"Izark, please let me know if you start to lose, so I can panic at the right time." I say to him, then wonder why I said it that way. I must be a bit loopy with anxiety and fear.

I smile. Noriko is funny sometimes. I bide my time, waiting to become the worst meal it ever chose to try to eat, hidden behind my shield. 

"I'm okay for now." I can feel her moving into action again, letting me do my job at the same time. I'm calling on my strength, building it up. There's a shiver within the monster and I worry for just a moment that it's discovered me.

That was nice of him, to answer me. I didn't want to distract him, really. I'm grabbed by the arm. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

I pull back. "Why? It wants Izark now. There are no things looking for me."

Duke Jeida looks at me kindly. "Because you are who saved us from it. It targeted you because it thinks you are dangerous to it."

"I'm not," I can't believe it, "Izark is. Izark will kill it. I just talked. If we leave the village we will be in the circle pitfall again."

Duke Jeida blinks at me. "Well, that is true, isn't it," he concedes, just as a ripping and tearing sound comes from the monster.

"Izark, it's tearing in half. Are you okay?" I ask, worried he's part of the tearing.

Ah...that isn't good. I didn't know it could do that. "Don't let it get you."

"Okay." I'm relieved it didn't tear him in half. Now I do move. Agol has come out of the building with a burning stick. I run to him and take it from him and turn to face the half coming my way. He stops and stares at me. "Go get another one," I say firmly. "We will need many, I think."

I begin to feel her move, and her determination. I speed up my power increase, not wanting the second piece of the monster to get too far away, nor to damage Noriko.

Agol nods and heads back into the building. The sons of the Duke head in after him. Banadam, Barago, and Gaya stand with swords in front of me and the Duke heads into the building as well, after looking around at the situation.

Suddenly there is fog, getting increasingly thicker around those of us in the courtyard between buildings. As the others comment on it, I notice it feels like the ground under our feet is moving. "Ah! We are moving while not moving!" I say. I wonder if it's the same kind of magic that moved the forest center to us as we came in from the edge. Usually, in the books on Earth, we would have to be walking for it to happen: the seven-league stride or something like that.

Then suddenly I'm falling, the ground at my feet disappearing. I land and then slip and slide as if down a hill. "Gaya!" I call. There's nothing. "Barago!" Again, I hear nothing. Not only did the land move, I've been separated from everyone else. I hold the firebrand out to see if I can see anything in the fog, but it's too thick. "Izark, I've been taken away from the village by [magic] power. Please hold on."

Noriko's suddenly moving very fast, and then she's very far away. Before I can do more, the monster I'm in attacks me, finally sensing my power. A keening rings in my head and I'm paralyzed and then it's as if my mind is not my own. I'm seeing the images of when I was a child, images to make my heart hurt in pain and sorrow. The memories of my mother attacking me, being injured, others rejecting me, are replayed in my mind without my wanting them to. I can't focus other than to be angry. 

Then I hear a voice. "Izark, I've been taken away from the village by [magic] power. Please hold on."

"Noriko?" I grasp onto her words and our heart link, trying to escape the mind control that the demon has me in. 

There is silence for a while before Izark responds. That worries me. I immediately answer, "Izark, I am here. Can you hear me? Please don't let the hair monster eat you. Fight it."

The demon gives me a memory of her. I take hold of that, too. Noriko has never rejected me. I choose to remember her, the times she's protected me, used her small strength in my behalf, the memories of when she's supported me with her Teaching. 

That's enough to finally wrench myself free, as if coming up from a particularly difficult nightmare to leave. "I am," I answer back. With all the power that's built up, and then sucking in even more, in one sudden rush I explode the energy out from me, tearing the hair monster into pieces that shred the hair and make it float down to the ground in shaved lengths.

I land on the ground from my high place above the roof and look around. There's a fog so thick in the village I can't see any of the houses or even the people. "What's this? Is anyone still here?"

"Is that you, Izark?" a voice comes my way.

"Agol?" I ask to help him find his way to me. Suddenly my insides are seething with the pain of my affliction. I grab myself, trying to keep it contained. Why is this happening now? So suddenly?

"You're amazing. Did you kill the monster? A piece of it hit me!" Agol's torchlight comes into view but he isn't any less foggy as my legs collapse and I fall to hit the ground hard, my sword falling from my hand that can no longer hold on to it. I can only lie on the ground and try to keep breathing, try to keep my body from changing, try to not scream with the pain.

"Izark!" Agol cries out. He'll think I was damaged by the monster, and that's for the best. That assumes I can stay in control this time like the other times.

I used up too much energy to kill the monster, but I don't understand how it happened. I've used more energy before. Was it practicing with Noriko? Or was it because I also fought in the list and used up power to make the wind put everyone to sleep? Is it the accumulation of all of those things that made it too much here at this time? I wouldn't have thought so, but my body is throbbing, telling me regardless, it is so.

In a deep part of me, I determine that the next time Noriko and I can be alone, I'll ask her, ask the Teacher to learn it if she can. I hate this and want it to stop -- this changing of form my body keeps wanting to do. I don't want to become a monster!

"Noriko. Noriko, you are in danger. The monster is coming, please come this way. Do you see me?"

I whip my head around until I see a faint outline of a person in the air. I recognize the coloring. "Yes, I see you. Where do I go?"

"This way." The spirit ‘ghost' boy who came to my room just before Gaya returned to her house leads me, floating in front of me. I run as fast as I can and he keeps ahead of me to lead me, as if Dampe's ghost and I'm doing the side-quest to get the hook-shot. I wish I could see the ground in front of my feet. I don't want to turn an ankle, but the fog is too thick.

The rule is: "run, hit the closest ones hard, run again, repeat until there aren't any pursuers left". I've only one pursuer this time, so it's "run, light on fire, repeat" this time. For now, that means, "run".

As I run, the boy tells me the story of the village, that they were peaceful until the demon came. It influenced them to become angry and fearful. As they increasingly did so, it gained power over them until they were finally fighting each other and in the end all killed each other. That sounds like the western demons of Christianity, etc. Feeding off the hatred, anger, and fear of mortals until their souls are brought down to hell.

"Their souls are still in torment, trapped inside the hair monster by the demon, made to do his bidding. Please help us -- help me. I want to release them from the demon and let them go free again." I blink. I didn't expect that to be so closely parallel to my thoughts.

"Ah, I'm not an exorcist, or a clergyman, to free spirits from a demon. What can I do to help?" I wonder if he can hear my thoughts.

It doesn't seem like it as he keeps talking. "If we free them, it will free your friends and you'll be able to leave the village."

"I'm willing, but what can I do?" I pant.

"Just be yourself, Noriko. That is good enough." I blink. Well, okay then.

A loud keening sound is ringing in my head and the world changes again. I feel like my thoughts are blanketed and there is darkness all around me. I immediately stop moving.

My mind is almost not my own. What was I doing? I'm scrambling, trying to get my mind back. I see the memory of me being afraid of the demon, wondering if it can be defeated, the fear striking me again. The memories of everyone trying to help me and being worried, from what just happened, come in a flurry, but there is no fear there. I look around blankly at the memories. Why?

The young spirit is in front of me again. "Noriko, come with me, this way."

"No! Noriko," it is fainter and behind me, "please, come this way." I look at the one in front of me, then at the one behind me. The one in front of me is cold. The only emotion on its face is one I don't like. The other one is the one I was with before.

I turn a foot out, then am running for the one behind me as fast and as hard as I can go. As I run, the darkness in my mind fades and I can see both the light in the mist again, and a shadow of the hair monster behind the fading youth I am not following. I draw in a quick intake of breath, feeling fear now, then let it go just as quickly and focus on running again.

"It was trying to lure you to it," the spirit I'm following says to me. "You broke the demon's spell."

"Good," I grunt. "It wasn't working anyway." I'm getting tired already. I hope we get someplace safe soon.

I do stumble eventually, then wonder why the earth isn't moving under my feet to take me to the monster. Are we outside it's range, or is the spirit I'm following making it so it can't do that part? I run and run, then all of a sudden I'm out of the fog and into the bright sunlight again. It's more of a meadow or clearing here, and in the center of it, where the spirit is leading me, is a large tree with light purple leaves and a white trunk: the morning mist tree. I remember seeing it in one of my dreams before I was brought to this world.

"Come this way, Noriko," the spirit invites me. I look at him, then at the tree. They are nearly identical in coloring: the purple and the white.

"Are you the tree?" I ask, "Or rather, a [wood nymph]?"

The boy bows. "I am Irktule, the spirit of the tree. The villagers named me after a story written long ago of a traveler with the same coloring. They would come to me and speak with me and share their happy lives with me. I was happy with them, and so sad to see them lose themselves to the demon. Please help me so that I can bring them back to happiness."

I walk up to stand just under the tree now. I reach up to touch a leaf, to see if it's real, and the branch above me breaks off and falls into my waiting hand. "Ah!" I cry out, startled, holding the branch to me.

"Take this branch and plant it under the altar at the center of the village. It will connect the line of energy from this area to the village and I will be able to cleanse it." 

Ah. Ley lines. Here? Really? This is even more story-book than normal for this world.

Gradually the pain lessens. This is one of the attacks that's a physical change, not one of weakness. I'll be able to go on, but I should be careful in how many more energy attacks I attempt from here on. My theory is that the more energy I channel through my body, the more it wants to change into the thing that will use it for evil purposes.

Sometimes I can go for months of using the energy and not have this happen. Rarely it will occur like this -- suddenly and without warning. After I grew up a little and could control things better as an older child, it would only happen two to three times a year. The pattern lengthened, but still rare times like this would happen.

I hear voices and can breathe a little easier. I open my eyes to see that the fog has cleared a little. "Oh, he opened his eyes," Gaya likes to state the obvious so everyone can be on the same wagon.

I'm asked if I'm okay by several voices. "I'm fine. The pain is subsiding." I look around the faces I see standing over me. "Noriko?" I ask, not seeing her and then remember she said she'd been taken away from the village by the ability of the demon to twist our walking. I take a deep breath and sit up. Agol gives me an assist until I'm uprighted.

I automatically pick up my sword and then use it to keep myself upright. My body still needs more time to recover, but I'm worried. "Noriko! Can you hear me? Please answer!" I don't know if she was trapped in the mind trap, or if she was eaten, or if she's escaped. She's a long ways away from me.

"Izark, I am here. Are you free of the monster?"

"Yes. Are you okay?" I say it out loud this time so that our companions can know she's okay, too, because they're also very worried, and some of them already know we can do this.

"I'm fine. Irktule, the spirit of the morning mist tree helped me escape. He has a barrier around his tree, so I'm safe for now. He wants me to return to the village, though, to plant a branch under the altar in the center of town so he can purify the village and get rid of the monster. The other piece of the monster is waiting for me outside this place. I had to run very hard to get away from it."

As usual she is wordy and tries to get it all said at once, and I have to go back and see the pieces. "Ah. I'm so glad you're safe." The others around me exclaim or sigh in relief as well. I'm not sure what to say about a spirit talking to her and making requests, but I will need to do something about the other piece of the hair monster. It would be good if I can wait a little longer, though. It's nice to know it isn't going to attack us here immediately.

I look up at the spirit. "Irktule, how am I to get back to the village?"

"I will guide you again."

Hmm...all well and good, but, "Izark, can you meet me? Irktule will lead me towards the village, but I don't know if I can outrun the monster again. Or do you still need to stay there to fight the other half?"

I give a little laugh. She'll think of the rest of us before herself. "No, I destroyed it already. I'll meet you. I can feel where you are."

"Okay. Don't let the piece waiting for me get you. Ah, sorry. You'll just kill it, too. Irktule says the monster and the demon are separate creatures. I don't understand it all. He says that the spirits of the villagers are still here, and the demon still controls them. Can he still use their negative emotions after this long?"

I rise to my feet and decide I'll be okay for now as long as I'm not using energy attacks. "She says there's a place in the center of the village where there used to be an altar. We need to dig a hole in that place for the spirit of the morning mist tree to cleanse this village and forest of the evil. She's bringing something with her that will help it do that. I'll go get her so the other half of the hair monster doesn't. You dig the hole and protect that location." They nod and turn to hunt for the place. Koriki hands me his torch, so I can see the ground in front of me as I run, saying he'll get another.

I reach for Noriko using our heart connection instead of the wind. It won't matter how the demon turns her feet if I use that connection. And now I know how to prevent it from doing that to me. When it tries as I run forward, I punish it and it backs off, confused and still not really knowing what I am.

I still have a question to answer. "I believe so. Spirits don't die and if their emotions stay negative, that will continue to give the demon power. Will you ask Irktule if I damaged the spirits by destroying the monster?"

When I receive the answer from Irktule, I start running again, out of the protected area and towards the village, following Irktule. "Izark, he says no, they just spilled out of the monster. The demon forces them to do things, but they can't be killed or harmed by what you do to the monster."

"That's good." I'm relieved to hear I can't kill spirits, or harm them when I use energy attacks. I have as much to learn about myself still as I do about Noriko it seems sometimes.

I can feel Izark coming towards me, although it's still a distance off. I'm glad he runs faster than me. I'm already wearing out again, even after the rest in the clearing. I finally have to stop and rest.

"I'm sorry, Noriko. I'm making you detour to go around the monster that is coming for you," Irktule says.

"That's okay. Izark is almost here." It's probably harder to run this time because I have to carry the branch also.

I can feel us getting closer to each other. I can also feel the other half of the hair monster. I'm very relieved when I reach Noriko first. She's holding a branch in her arms that has white bark and purple leaves. She stopped running to catch her breath. She's still so willing to try hard, and she does her best, too.

"Noriko!" Izark is running towards me and I look up and smile at him. He's picking me up in his arms, holding me close to him, barely stopping his forward motion after I'm already in his arms. "I'm so glad you're okay," he says.

I lift her in my arms to hold her close to me. The remaining vestiges of pain inside me melt away and I'm able to relax as her arm goes around my shoulders. I breathe in her scent for just a moment, letting the smell and wind comfort me, too. It's harder to trust the heart connection when I need my own patterns met. I pull back to look at her to make sure she really is okay. 

I'm flabbergasted, to complete silence. He has never grabbed me in a hug like this. He did stop me from running away, but that was me running into him, and he grabbed me then to prevent me from running away again.

My heart thumps loudly for a bit as I try to recover, and I think my face is hot. Izark pulls back to look into my face and he has an expression I've never seen on his face before. "Izark...," I'm not sure what to say.

It's then that I realize what I've done and I set her down, trying hard to not blush. Somehow I wasn't present again, and did something uncharacteristic.

"Noriko! The monster is coming!"

I'm brought back to our more immediate peril. "Ah, the monster is coming. Can you see Irktule?"

I look around but see only us here. I shake my head, "No."

I nod. Not many people on Earth can see spirits or ghosts either, although there are some who claim they can. "Irktule will lead us back to the village. I'll tell you which way to go."

I put out the torch and turn around. "Get on my back. I'll carry you that way." I don't want to kill it yet if what Irktule can do will help, so I won't need my sword. This will be easier on her also. She isn't used to being carried this way and has to figure out how to balance. "Irktule, I want to go the shortest route possible. I'll outrun it." Noriko nods that I can do it.

Izark puts out the lit firebrand in his hand. I lost mine when I fell down during my running before. I have to overcome more sudden embarrassment to be carried on Izark's back but I'd rather that than over his shoulder like at the beginning. I firm up and climb on.

She turns my head. "That way." I settle her a little better, then am running. She directs me to change direction a few times, and then I feel the monster just ahead of us, no longer trying to outrun us through twisting its own feet, but attacking directly. I add more speed and run past it, jumping over the strands that reach out for us. 

I hold on as best I can, leaning forward and holding still. Even though I direct Izark as best I can, the monster ends up in front of us. Izark puts on his best speed and we're flying past it. "Izark, the fog is thinning," I warn.

"I see it. It's getting ready for us in the village next." The air is getting heavy again. The rain begins again as we reach the edge of the village. I run straight up to the ring of torches we can see that the demon is trying to put out. We see why when we get there. The hair monster left us after I passed it and it came straight here to attack them so it could prevent us from planting the branch. 

I stop just far enough from the monster and take back the torch. I light it again and collect the energy one more time, trying to stay relaxed as I do it, to keep my body calm. I throw the torch at the hair monster and make the fire explode a hole in the monster and keep burning it. "I'll hold it open, Noriko," I tell her.

I nod and run into the opening. Fire spits at me, even though it's raining. Izark is worried, but I protect the branch and keep going, focused on my part.

She runs courageously into the hole. The demon tries to make the flames burn her or the branch. I worry, but she doesn't care. "Over here, Noriko!" Gaya is pointing to the ground. I let the flames go out just a little, releasing the energy slow enough to keep the hair monster occupied, but not to waste my strength.

Gaya is pointing to the ground at a hole that's been dug. I run towards it and plant the end of the branch on the run, skidding to a stop after it's in the ground.

There's a flash of light and a bright glow that expands from the branch and disintegrates the hair monster. Up from the branch comes Irktule curled as if a flower or fern leaf, raising his head until he is upright.

He raises his hand over his head and it sounds like a spell or a prayer: "Mother Earth, help me rescue the souls of the villagers. Trees of the forest, give me your strength." A great wind of energy swirls around him, whipping our hair. "Obey my wish! Disintegrate!" There is a great flash of light that expands from where he is and ripples out through the entire forest.

I can hear him calling to the spirits of the villagers, calling them to return to kindness and love, calling them home to him, reminding him of their love for each other and for him, telling them they can still change and find peace. Reminding them they are good and gentle people. Like Izark, I think. The feeling of the spirit and his care for the people he loves is so gentle it moves me to tears.

Irktule tells me he's used up so much power he has to rest, but the spirits can guide us out of the forest. He thinks the demon has been killed, or at least been so weakened we should be okay, although he can only tell out to the boundaries of the forest.

I thank him for helping us, too. I hope we can see him again someday. He slowly disappears, folding himself back into his branch...which has become a true sapling. I smile. He'll be able to come and visit the villagers himself now. I hope the village can be reborn soon, now that we've helped kill the monsters.

"Noriko," Gaya says in a hushed voice, "was that the spirit of the morning mist tree?"

I look at her with a soft smile on my lips. "Yes. That is the ‘ghost' I saw at your house who asked me to help him."

Agol startles in surprise and Gaya nods her head. "He was beautiful."

I nod. "His tree is also." I stand up and turn to Geena. "Geena, can you see the spirits of the villagers? I can't. I think I could only see Irktule because he was using extra energy to get my help. He says the spirits will lead us out of the forest to where we need to go."

There's a sudden flash of light and the hair monster disintegrates. I release the rest of my fire energy and have to rest with my hands on my knees, breathing deeply. I'm relieved when the pain doesn't begin again. Instead, I feel a great burst of warm energy surge through and past me that feels like Noriko's just smiled a large smile and taken me in a hug.

I look up in surprise to see the spirit Irktule standing over the branch that was planted in the hole. He called on the energy of the forest and the earth to destroy the demon that afflicted this place. ...And I did not die. Nor was I even injured. Instead I was gifted strength. Not a lot, but enough I can stand and walk out of this place today with everyone else.

I stand in amazement until I'm collected up with the others to finish our walk to the mountains. As the spirit villagers of the forest guide us out through Geena, I wonder if there are two energies or..., was it a proof that I'm something different than only a demon of destruction?

Chapter Text

I could feel the monster, but I couldn't feel the demon, at least not in a way I understood. This is really the first time I've confronted one. Demons are rare and hide as much as they can because they live forever, but they can die if attacked. They find one person they can work through who affects others until it can feed off of many. This one tried to use us while staying hidden, and it commanded the spirits of the villagers.

I was reassured that the demon had been weakened significantly if not killed, and was no longer within the boundaries of the forest. I feel a vague sense of uneasiness. It might be my worries rolling around inside me, but it feels more similar to what I feel when monsters and creatures are near. I can't know which until something else presents itself, but if this travel today can help me learn more about myself and the world I live in, then I'll learn it.

I've been seeking that knowledge my whole life. That Noriko has taught some small part of it to me has encouraged me to keep seeking. I've learned many things today already, including how to kill a demon. It's how I thought, but it was good to have an example of it from Irktule. 

The uneasiness inside makes me want Noriko to be close by, and I worry about her feet. We're walking again and she still doesn't have properly toughened feet for it. 

We gather up our things, most of which are still in the building we ate our lunch in, and Geena tells the spirits where we want to go and then leads us out. Izark oddly wants me very close to him, and asks me often if my feet are doing okay.

I finally put my hand on his arm. "I'm okay, Izark. If they start to hurt too much, I'll let you know. You have already run enough, carrying me. Please rest some." He really doesn't know how to slow down. It's no wonder he has the fainting spells and the days of resting from exhaustion.

I can see it: his tiredness, that he had to fight too hard against the hair monster and demon, and then run to and then with me. I don't want him to collapse while we're on the road.

I try to nod and let her be.

He still wants more. I finally put my hand in his. He actually holds it tightly. "I'm okay, Izark. Please don't worry. I ran. I'm sorry I let it catch me in the house. I didn't let it do that again. I'm sorry I didn't properly protect you from getting eaten by it." That gets his attention and he looks at me wide-eyed.

Her assumptions are confusing and surprising and I stare at her. Protect me? Let it? How could she have affected either one?

I finally can only shake my head at her. "It was easier to kill from inside. Thank you for saving me from it." She now looks at me in surprise. I explain, "When you called to me, it was about to take over my mind, but it gave me a memory of you because of your call and that helped strengthen me. So did your words. Thank you." Those were things she could do to help me. Maybe she can understand the difference and not expect so much from herself.

"Ah..., [your welcome].... I was worried when it seemed like you were almost gone. I'm glad I was able to help you regain your strength. It tried to do that to me, too...but it couldn't access any of my memories. It could only use it's own. It wasn't hard to fight it because of that."

I frown at her. I didn't want my memories at all. "I wonder why it couldn't see your memories?"

"Maybe I'm just different enough..., or too [freaking] logical." I grin at him.

I smile back. That is her best attack after all.

He gives me the cutest little smile back, his eyes crinkling ever so slightly. I get the sudden feeling he wants to plant a kiss on my lips and I look away and blush at the thought ...and because of his cute smile.

She turns away and blushes. My heart pauses and I realize I've learned something new. I now have a new attack against her, if I ever choose to use it some day, one just as good as the tease. It's another ten minutes later that I realize that we're holding hands and I've been holding on rather firmly.

I casually let her hand go and rub my neck as if working out a kink. Her shoulders relax. Did I do that again? Or was it her this time when she was trying to calm my uneasiness? What's happening that I'm not paying attention and doing odd things? Is it related to the change that tried to come on me? Or is it one of the little changes she's been making in me? Neither one was terrible. Just very uncharacteristic for me who hates touch.

Actually, it's rather disturbing how much I relaxed when she put her arm around me, and how the pain dissolved when I was holding her. I frown. Is there something about her that affects me? I would say it was helping me, actually, to make those things go away, but because I'm naturally suspicious of everything the Awakening could do to me I'm not quite sure I can believe that yet. But it also seems similar to what she did to Banadam, the change that let him release the fear and come to himself. Is it a new power she's gained?

When she begins to limp, I decide to experiment. "Noriko, come. I'll carry you so you can rest your feet." I crouch down so she can't argue, although she tries, then gives up. She did promise she would let me know when they hurt and they do now.

As soon as Izark notices me limping, nothing will do but for him to carry me, even thought I protest. Really, if I don't walk to get the callouses, how will I ever be able to walk long distances? ...Although, I am having to wear the thin shoes, so I don't complain too much. Plus, I like being close to him like this. I just hope he's rested enough. That's still worrying me.

I wrap my arms gently around his shoulders, glorying in the ability to finally have him close again, feel his warmth, and for once be so close to him. Having run so hard myself, I start to fall asleep, the excitement and exercise of the day catching up to me.

As she climbs on my back and we get settled, I can feel one of the rocks in my stomach melting. Her arms wrap gently around my shoulders and I almost cry at the gentle warmth. I walk with her silently, only feeling what she's doing to me. I'm sure she doesn't know. Her head starts to nod. I would say she was using too much energy to do what she's doing to me, but that isn't it.

I don't know how to take it, but just like I relaxed, when she was finally settled in my arms she also relaxed in the same way. How my arms can make her feel this soft peace I have no idea, but I'm grateful for this excuse today to feel it from her. I turn to say quietly in her ear, "Just sleep, Noriko. It's okay. I have you. You won't fall."

He finally turns his head just enough so his mouth is near my ear, where my head is nodding and keeps thumping on his shoulder. His words are breathed warmly on me and I'm suddenly awake, although I don't move. "Just sleep, Noriko. It's okay. I have you. You won't fall." Such gentle words.

I shift slightly and settle my head down on his shoulder, my face towards his neck where I can smell his scent: piney, spicy, warm. "Sheshe, Izark," I say sleepily. It isn't possible to fully sleep, but I do doze very well, calm and secure in the arms of my dragon knight.

She shifts slightly so her head can more comfortably rest on my shoulder. Her warm breath on my neck makes me shiver once and then I'm breathing her breaths. "Thank you, Izark," she murmurs. The large feeling in my chest is one I don't know, but it's one that won't be denied any longer it's standing so firmly in my face. I can only gaze on it mutely.

We reach the edge of the woods and enter a tunnel under the mountains. I make Izark put me down again. My feet and I have rested enough and he needs more rest as well. I've been feeling his muscles fatiguing recently as they were holding me.

He seems to have recovered from the ordeal in that he doesn't need me quite so close now. I stay nearby, though. I feel a bit like a mother who has a two or three year old nearby that has to know "mother" is close, even though they are exploring. I wonder at it. Is it a reaction to our being apart before? Or is it something new? We've fought monsters before, and he hasn't been this way.

While we were walking through the forest to the village it wasn't quite like this, was it? Well...I guess I did hang onto his jacket, like before the city and at the city. I'm not doing that now. But when I get close enough to, he shifts away. No, he's had enough close contact already. This is something else, I think. More of an awareness of distance -- like the ten feet on the walk to the city.

I play with it just a bit. Yup. The distance is now about four to five feet. No less than three and a half. It varies because this cavern tunnel we are walking through has all of us people in it and is somewhat narrow. There are holes to the surface all along the way that light our passageway at our feet, and that is nice. They even comment on how it's different. I wonder what caused it. Maybe this was a waterway and all the soft rock dissolved, and the rain water from above dissolved what was soft above the river. 

Still, I wonder..., maybe it's the people? If I got to ten feet away, I'd be at the back of the group or out in front. That makes sense. I wonder what it would be if it was just us again. Would it be back to the ten feet again? It seems likely ...until I notice he's looking for me whenever I get behind him. He already knows where I am. He shouldn't have to see me, too. But he does need to. I wonder why again, then finally sigh and give up. Unless I ask him, I won't know, and I'm betting if I asked him he wouldn't have a clue.

The tunnel we pass through to get to the other side of the mountains has many holes to the surface, and is close to the surface itself for most of its length. It's an odd and beautiful thing to see. It would be good if this passage could be opened up for travels again, we all agree.

Noriko is playing with me, experimenting with the distance between us since she's on her own feet again. Now that she's admitted she does it and why, I'm paying attention. It won't be proper experimentation results this time and when she gives up with a sigh, confused, I smile to myself. It's a way to distract myself from the feeling of dis-ease that's come back, now that we're getting closer to the border.

I want to know that for real, not just as an experiment or a tease. Is this how I feel other demons? Is it because it has a killing intent against us? It's similar to that feeling. Like it's glaring at us from a distance, wanting to kill us for injuring it, biding it's time until it can strike.  

Because I'm worried that it will attack us again, I'm experimenting with one other thing. Holding Noriko in my arms gave me a sense of peace and melted worries away, as if by her touch she could finally do what she's been trying to do this whole time -- remove my fear from me. The energy that came from Irktule, which is energy like I control, added to my strength. Is there a way that I can do that for myself?

As we've walked through the woods to the border, I've been experimenting with pulling in energy, but not to use it against something else. Instead I'm seeing if I can store it within me, use it to rebuild my strength. It's difficult to learn it. Sometimes I think I've done it, and then it leaks away and the strength is gone again. It's like Noriko trying to learn to talk to me through the heart connection. Lots of trial and error. I wish I had someone to ask like she could ask Geena.

I also have to pause and rest between times of experimentation. Until I can actually get strength from it most of the strength leaves and takes a little more with it. I wonder at that, too. I'll work tomorrow on learning if there's a reason more leaves me than what I've gathered.

Maybe that's why I have the times of exhaustion. If I'm giving up a part of me, not just using the energy, then that would happen, I think. That is, a part of my personal energy is given up each time to accumulate to a large loss that would then have to be recovered through sleeping for two to three days.

If I could learn to not do that, and learn the other, perhaps I wouldn't have any more episodes of my ailment. It's not like I ever had a teacher for these things from the beginning. It's always been experimentation and using what works best. But Noriko's been teaching me many things so now I can see things a little differently and try new things. I'm grateful for her today -- even though I'm teasing her with her own experimentation.

We reach the end of the tunnel and there's a narrow land bridge that must be crossed for us to be in Guzena. The sense of dis-ease turns into a sense of foreboding and I'm looking all around, trying to see if I can tell where it's located. It seems to be coming from my left. Noriko is on my right.

Izark is even more nervous, but people are getting excited to see the goal in sight. Gaya says that once we reach the other side we'll be in Guzena. We carefully step out and begin the walk across. It's about three people wide, so we get strung out a bit.

I look over the edge, like an idiot, and am reminded of the cliff face I had to hug and fell off of. Izark seems to be remembering it, too, because he takes my arm in his hand.

"You'd better hang on to me, and not walk too close to the edge." I can only see us both falling yet again. Did a demon push her off then? I shiver and try to not think of it. 

Well, I would obey, but he won't let go, so I let him hang on to me instead.

Ouch. I wince and try to catch my breath, but it isn't easy. whosh! A large gust of wind goes past me making my hair fly. "Noriko, wait for me!" It's coming from my left but I can't see anything for all the wind.

I feel something rough around my waist and I know that I'm going up and "flying". Izark is "flying" with me, but isn't with me at the same time. Then there's a loud screech. It must be some kind of large flying creature.

I've been flung through the air and Izark is desperately reaching for me as we head for the face of a cliff. He manages to catch my hand just as his energy barrier hits the cliff face and we're falling. I'm not worried, particularly -- well..., I'm worried. I'm not afraid.

We're suddenly not where we were and I'm in the tight grip of something. I felt the wind move, but didn't see the rock bird until it was upon us. The demon that's controlling it made it wait until we were almost across the bridge, so it came from behind us. Noriko's cry of surprise came to my ears as I was grabbed so I know it has her, too, plus her presence is with me at the right distance away. "Noriko, wait for me," I ask, needing her to not do anything brash until I can also get free.

I didn't feel the presence of the rock bird, for all I felt the wind, so this demon must also be able to hide its presence while in another living creature, like I can hide my presence. I wasn't able to feel it in the hair monster either. I wonder, if I can get it to come out of the rock bird, would I be able to tell of its existence? These thoughts are fleeting and distant as I struggle to get free of the firm grip the claws of the bird have around me.

Before I can get free, it has released us and we're flying towards a cliff face. I panic and struggle to catch hold of Noriko's hand before she can be smashed against the cliff, or broken below it. I manage somehow to catch hold of her hand and make an energy shield to protect us both from slamming into the cliff and we're falling.

There's the landing. Eee. Whoof. Now I'm really worried. Izark dropped me at the end of the landing. He really isn't doing well. He's in full second level strength mode right now and doesn't have any strength at all, really. It's not just the eyes and teeth, either. His fingers are claws and his ears are pointed, like the fairy I pretended he was at the beginning. I'm worried about what it means for him.

He heads over to check the large bird that was holding us and for some reason is now on the ground. He really looks like he's at the end of his rope, like trying-to-finish-the-report-at-three-a.m.-of-the-day-it's-due-and-you-have-to-get-up-at-six-to-get-to-school-to-turn-it-in end of the rope.

I pull her into my arms to hold her closely, my hatred and anger at the demon rising for putting Noriko in such a dangerous situation. I have us righted sufficiently that I land on my feet, but I stagger and slump to my knees, then drop her, the strength gone from me again.

I gasp as my fingers turn into claws. I'm holding my arms around myself to stop this change, but it's already come on me. Surely I can't have used so much as to go so fast to the highest level? It's like the episode before. Too sudden and unexpected.

I leave Noriko's side before she can see too much, headed for the bird. I want to know if the demon is still inside it, and if not if it's okay. Once I had Noriko safe, I also blasted it with just enough energy to see if the demon would leave it. I place my hand gently on it. It's knocked out, but will recover. I can't sense a demon at all but the killing intent is very high.

crick crack, tick tick tock.... That does not sound good. I stiffen briefly and a rock goes past me. That's all it takes and I'm off again, rabbit-running after Izark. I still get clocked in the back, but I manage to escape most of the rocks coming down. ...Except the expression on Izark's face as he turns to see what's going on is the most afraid I've ever seen it. He's leaping towards me, but then passes me, looking upward.

There are sounds behind me and I turn. Noriko's running for me as fast as she can, recovering from a stumble and behind her... the demon is in the face of the cliff and is breaking it off, as much or more as fell with Kiemos and me into the river outside Calco. But this is all rock and not dirt and earth, and it's headed for Noriko. I run as fast as I can past Noriko and catch the point of the cliff face where it sheared off, not holding back. It will take all I have ever had and more to prevent this from killing Noriko.

That makes me even more afraid. With a burst of speed I keep going towards the bird, then skid around to look. Izark looks tiny as I watch his hands catch the bottom pointy end of nearly the entire face of the cliff. My mouth is open in amazement as I look up and up the rock he's holding in only his two hands. I see visible sparks encircle the piece of cliff face and Izark is straining.

I pull the energy from all the earth and air around me and spiral it up around the cliff face, holding the demon tied to it. It will die with the rock for this. All of my anger, disbelief that it's tried this, hatred of its evil, rise up with it. I make the energy bind tighter and tighter to the demon and the rock until they are crumbling into gravel and dust together. I place a shield over Noriko and myself to keep the largest pieces from hitting us until they're all on the ground in front of me.

Suddenly the entire rock face he's holding explodes and shatters. I duck, holding my arms over my head and scattered rocks rain down. I'm grateful none of them that land on me are large enough to do more than bruise or slightly scrape me.

The rain of stone ends and I look towards Izark. Behind him is a tall pile of rocks that would have completely covered me, likely ending my life or at least causing massive internal damage and I'm grateful I've learned the "flight" part of "fight or flight" so well.

My heart is beating very fast even still. I run back to Izark. I'm so worried. He was already weak enough. To have used so much energy to deal with the rock so it didn't fall on us both, killing at least me.... Is he okay?

I can hear Noriko's feet running towards me. I'm confused. I'm not seeing differently and my claws are gone. I don't feel the same as when I'm normal, though. I feel...lighter, like I'm not really quite in my body. I'm not sure I'm breathing, but I can feel my heart beat through my whole body in a regular rhythm. Then suddenly the most pain I have ever felt slams into me as if the cliff face is hitting me after the fact. "Aaahhhgh!" My hands go to my head which is where the sharpest pain is coming from and I slump to my knees.

He's standing normally, the second level changes gone, but he's looking confused. I stay worried, and it isn't unfounded. "Aaahhhgh!" His hands are to his forehead and he's dropping to his knees. He can't hide what slips through his fingers as the bandanna I made is ripped in half from the center of his forehead.

My eyes go wide as my fingers feel something move under them, then with a ri-ip the bandanna Noriko made me is torn in half and a point of something grows out of my forehead to slip through my fingers. I'm powerless to prevent it. All of the times I've held this in, this next change, are now past. I'm not in control this time. I close my eyes and then cry out again as my whole body explodes into pain.

Something is ripping through my skin all over my body. My hands grasp the ground so I don't topple over completely, and they are claws again, sharp points digging into the ground. My toes are the same: claws that grip the ground as all of me cries out in pain and my heart cries out in fear. I didn't want this. I never wanted this! My eyes want to cry but I can tell in this form I can't. 

A single horn is growing rapidly out of his forehead and it sounds like it hurts -- a lot. In the worst way, his clothes get torn to shreds. Black armor, with a blue sheen, is growing out of his arms, shoulders, and lower legs, like punk football armor. His boots are torn off as his feet grow claws in front and one in back. His hands go back to the claws they were before, but now they're scaled and blue-black.

I feel like I'm encased in stiffness, yet I know that my speed and flexibility are increased in a way I don't want to experiment on. In this form, this level of power can catch a mountain and destroy it and not care. There would still be strength and energy left to continue to fight or destroy.

I shake my head, not able to hold in my horror. "Izark, hold on!" I mind speak him. I don't think he can speak. His mouth structure looks wrong for it. The changes generally aren't a problem. My horror is for the pain he's going through. It looks terrible. The only thing not painful was probably his hair turning from black to blue.

The pain finally subsides enough I can see and focus outside of myself. I slowly look up and Noriko is standing close to me, staring at me in shock. I shiver in fear.

He's supporting himself on his hands on the ground and as he begins to move, his scales scrape against each other with a screech that's like a distant rusty bicycle. His eyes finally rise to look into mine. They are the most beautiful sapphire blue I've ever seen, like the deep blue of the sky in this world, but brilliant. In them is shock, worry, fear, horror, ...and sadness.

She drops down to hold my wrist where I'm still holding on to the earth, pinning me in place so I can't flee, which I desperately wish to do. She sounds desperate also. 

"Izark. It's okay." I drop to my knees in front of him and grab hold of his wrist tightly, to hold him in place, his black skin scaly and rough under my hand. "It looked very painful, but it's okay. I'm not afraid. Does it still hurt?" I can tell he wants to jump up and flee, to tell me to not touch, but his mind is still reeling, still trying to come to understand what's happened. I give him some time to come back to reality.

She's worried for me. I don't want her this close -- to see this -- but she's telling me she knows I don't. I don't know how she can not be afraid, and my heart hurts. She waits for me. When I'm able to finally take a breath and blink at her because I don't know what's next, she asks, "Is this the first time?" I nod. I also wonder why she's talking mind to mind when she's standing here. My tongue moves and I understand. She already understands I can't talk in this form.

Haah, I think to myself, third level for the first time, and he fits "demon" pretty well. It's too bad it's so painful. No one would want to do that very often at all.

I want to cry. How can she already know what I am, understand this, and not be what I don't want in my life? Will she accept this form when I hate it and abhor it from before it ever coming on me? Is she leading me to want to be like this so she can finally show her true self? I'm as afraid of her in this moment as I am afraid of me. It doesn't help me that she begins to talk again, the Teacher who I want to run from in this moment of grief and pain for me.

It looks like he's coming back to reality, his mind spinning down. I start talking to him to keep him focused, help him understand and know what the reality is, like I always need when my mind and the world are in complete disagreement.

"Your eyes are a beautiful blue, Izark. Like the color of the coat I'm making you, but brilliant, like gems. Your hair also is blue." I reach up with the hand not preventing him from running and pull a little of it away from him so he can see it, the feel of it soft in my fingers. "It's similar to the color of my coat, but a little darker."

She reaches up to gently take a portion of my hair in her fingers and I flinch, not really wanting to see the light blue that rests on her hand, although it catches my eyes. It's such an odd yet beautiful color for a monster to have.

I'm trembling. How can she compare the colors she sees to the colors she chose before I ever had this form on me? How could she have known? She releases the hairs and I can look at her again.

"Izark...in my eyes, you are beautiful. I know this is scary, but you are still Izark."

I freeze, my breath stopping.

"I know your heart. What you look like is not as important as what is inside. This is [armor]." I lightly brush my fingers over one of the spikes that stands out from a shoulder. It looks like it would cover the whole shoulder like a football shoulder pad if it weren't standing up so the two others under it could also stand out and protect him.

Noriko lightly brushes her fingers over my shoulder and it feels odd, like pressure on one place, but her fingers are higher than actually on my shoulder.

"[Armor] is protection, and in many cases it's also meant to scare the viewer so that battle can be avoided. This [armor] is like that. I would think it would also cause damage if you needed to use it as a weapon as well."

She pauses. I need a better definition for that word, and she caught me. I can only listen now and try to understand once she reaches her point at the end. Otherwise I will be lost without understanding.

He's hearing me, but is looking so lost. I pause to think. "Izark...in my world there is a creature called a [porcupine]. It's a very gentle creature, not a predator at all. It has a thick coat of spines that lay back on it and look like hard fur.

"When it is threatened, or angered, those spines, called [quills], stand upright so that it has an [armor] that is around it, even on the tail. They are hard and the ends are barbed, and they come out of the hide of the porcupine very easily when they are standing on end. If you touch them, they stick in you and are very painful. Sometimes dogs will chase them and they will hit the dog on the nose with their tails, leaving many quills behind the owner has to carefully pull out.

"You are like the porcupine, Izark. You are gentle inside, but sometimes you are threatened and your [armor] comes as a response to protect you."

I think I finally understand that she might be saying "armor" or "shield". 

"It can do damage and looks frightening, but it is not the actor. Your gentle heart is. You are protecting me, and your armor has come to help you do that. I am not afraid of it, because I am not threatening you."

Well, she is, but not so that she understands it, and not in the way that perhaps this form would recognize. It's how my mind perceives it. At the same time, she's said a few things that I needed to hear. She still believes that she has nothing to fear because of the man I am inside. At the moment I still have my mind, so yes, I can choose to act the way I want to. I'm quite relieved I can in this new form. Every new form I worry it will be the one I'm lost to.

Noriko sits back and switches to speaking out loud. She has tired.

"It's the first time, so I would think your body is trying to understand itself, trying to know how to be this way, but it will go away again, and only come when you call it, the same as the level of change before this one only comes when you call for it. Perhaps it will take practice, but you will be able to learn it. I know you will."

Inside I'm gaping at her. Why would I want to? I understand I need to control it so it doesn't happen in dangerous situations, but if I can prevent it from happening at all, I would much rather do that. I don't want her to be saying it because she not only expects it, but even wants it to happen again...not that she's ever asked me to change for her.

I can't help feeling sad. "I just wish it didn't come at such a high price as the pain you had to go through. That was hard to watch." I reach up and touch his face gently. The blue-black scales look so shiny and smooth it's a surprise every time I touch it that it's rough. I have to assume that's part of the armor being a weapon as well. "Is it okay? Are you still in pain?"

She reaches up to gently touch my face and again the touch is odd, telling me my skin is rough, even though she's touched it lightly. I shake my head and she slumps slightly.

"That's good. ...If you're out of clothes, you can wear the coat I made you. The stitching isn't done yet, but it is wearable. Just remove the needle before you put it on or it will stick you." I smile slightly. "I'm afraid I can't repair this outfit at all."

I look down. Oh. That's rather embarrassing, actually, and I'm not sure I wanted to see the armor she was talking about. My skin is black, all over. Coming out of the backs of my arms and legs, and so I must assume my shoulders as well, given how her touch felt, are large scales that look like if they relaxed they'd cover my legs, arms, and shoulders properly again.

That would be the tearing of the skin I felt, then, was those lifting. They also tore my clothing to shreds until I have only the equivalent of a loincloth on. My belt is the only article of clothing that's survived. Even my boots were destroyed by the claws that came from my toes and the one at the heels.

That reminds me of the first thing that went and my hand moves to my forehead slowly as it passes her. I stop before I touch, though, also being reminded of what happened very first. 

"It's okay. It only ripped in the middle. I can fix that. We will have to find it though." He sits back on his haunches and looks at me. I'm relieved to see the terror, horror, and most of the fear is gone, replaced by intelligent thought again. A clawed hand reaches for me, for a thing that has caught his eyes, but then his own hand catches his eyes and he stops.

There was something else that caught my eye as I watched my hand. I sit back to see better, although she still hasn't let go so I can't move far. Without thinking, because I'm immediately concerned, I reach for her forehead. Seeing my hand again makes me stop. I can't touch her with hands like this, but the blood seeping from the wound on her head is worrying me. Rocks were falling around her as she ran from the cliff. Some have hit her. As if she doesn't know, doesn't feel the pain, she's thinking again of me.

"Izark," I say, and hold out my hand. "Please don't be afraid of yourself. Here. Learn how to grasp things. Even the claws of the bird didn't do us damage. Go slowly if you want." I hold my arm out patiently waiting. He stares at me, blinks, then looks at my arm and his hand with it's long fingers and long sharp claws at the ends.

She's right. Claws can hold other things rather gently, actually. It's a thing I wouldn't mind having one lesson on. But it's for an ulterior motive this time. She's given me an opening to block the Teacher. I slowly reach for her wrist trying to understand how this body works. I carefully wrap my hand around her wrist loosely until my claws click together from either side. I can feel the tremor of a shiver that goes through her.

I suppress a shiver. To be held so gently by a form so powerful -- I am in awe. "It's okay to touch me. I'll let you know when the pressure is right if you can't tell."

I swallow. I can trust her in that much, though, so I close my hand a little more until I just feel her skin.

"That is a gentle hold. You could tighten it if you were afraid you were going to lose your grasp."

So far this body has responded to me properly. I hope it will continue to do so. I slowly close down farther until I think it should be about right for if I wanted to hold her hand, to know where she was. 

I nod. "That's about right, for holding hands. If you wanted to be sure you could tighten a little more. It doesn't hurt."

Very slowly, and watching her face this time to see if she shows pain, I tighten my grip more until she nods again.

"Any more than that will probably hurt. That's about what it would be if you wanted to drag me after you to keep me safe, but on my own feet. Try going back and forth now, so you can get the range."

I pounce, as it were. That's what I was waiting for. I pull her forward until we're face to face, trapping her and leaving her no escape. Her hand releases my hand she's been holding and I flex the wrist and prepare to catch her. "Noriko. Can you not tell?"

"Tell what?" she's confused, and concerned about why I'm doing something unexpected, but she still isn't afraid.

"You are sounding like you want me to be the Sky Demon."

I'm flabbergasted and sit back, although he holds me close even still. "I-I'm sorry if it sounded like that, Izark." I don't know how to defend myself without making it worse now, then a spark of anger is lit and I struggle against it for a bit, then lose.

She's at a loss, then suddenly the strength of Noriko, the fire of anger is lit. That's what I wanted to see. I wait, not letting her say no answer.

"Izark," I say firmly, "you were like I have been the whole time I've been in this world. Lost, in pain, unable to understand. I've given you only what I've wished for every time I've been in that place: a thing to help you understand yourself and your world.

"You don't have to believe me. You don't have to ever want to be this again. But please, don't be afraid of yourself. Power feared will only overwhelm your mind until you are doing things you don't want to do.

"I've always lived trying to understand my world and myself so that I don't have to fear, but can act rationally. I have only tried to give this to you. Isn't it what you've already done for yourself when you learned to control the powers you call on when your eyes and teeth change?

"From what little I know, you already are the Sky Demon. If you want to control your power so you don't destroy the world, then don't let them overwhelm you. Learn this the same as you have the others. It's up to you." I turn my head sharply away. "What I want doesn't matter."

I know the water fountain is next. "No. What Noriko wants does matter, because you are the Awakening. What is it you really want, Noriko?" She will tell me today, or today I will kill her. She has seen this form and asked me to wear it without fear. Her tears fall, but they aren't merely tears of grief, loneliness, or sorrow. Today they're tears of anger.

My tears are hot with my anger, but they fall because he has hurt me. It sounds like he doesn't trust me at all now. "How can you believe me in that, if you won't believe me in the other, Izark?" I stand. It isn't safe to just take my hand back so I have to let myself be trapped with him still, although I want to put distance between us, to go and sit and cry alone.

She rises to her feet, wanting to flee. I don't let go. It's a grip she can't escape, nor can the Awakening escape the question. "Tell me."

I'm collapsing inside, wanting to trap the thoughts, emotions, and words so they don't ever come out, but he won't relent, won't let me go.

I see the wall break inside of her as her face crumples. Around her tears she finally tells me what she really wants. 

"I want Izark to always hold me in his warm arms. I want to see Izark smile at me. I want him to trust me. I want to live peaceably with Izark. I want to not have to see fear in your eyes any more."

That last one is the real truth. The others were angry emotional words. But she isn't done.

"And some year, when you've decided what you will do and you have chosen light and good, I would like to not just be Izark's, but to also have Izark be mine. I am only ever afraid that you'll leave me. I can't bear that pain. But the pain of your distrust is nearly as unbearable. If you cannot trust me, then send me home." I am feeling strangely light-headed and faint suddenly. I wonder if I've reached my limit of strength, like Izark did earlier.

She sways. As I speak to her, to answer her, she sinks to her knees. "Noriko, I'm sorry. I needed to know. To be sure." Her answer is still as it always has been. The right one.

I sink to my knees again, unable to keep to my feet, trying to breathe deeply through my tears in case it's just a problem of lack of oxygen to my brain.

"I needed to be sure because, Noriko,...."

My eyes close as the world is going fuzzy around me.

As my final words leave my lips, I realize that she's been breathing deeply both because I've forced her to tell me her innermost secrets, and because she's been wounded more severely than I knew. In my horror at that revelation, I barely pay attention to the words coming from my mouth as she collapses unconscious before me, "...I have fallen in love with you."

As my body drags my mind into darkness, my heart screams, "Not yet!" My brain and my ears haven't agreed yet. I need to hear it one more time to understand, but I can't and consciousness fades completely away.

Chapter Text

Once again I'm nursing Noriko, who's unconscious. When she fell before me, she exposed her back. I hadn't seen it until then. I'd seen her recover from a stumble as she ran to me. I hadn't seen what caused it. It was one of the first rocks I heard falling as the cliff face was separated from the cliff. It hit her back quite hard, actually. Enough to crack a few ribs and tear her flesh.

I was in shock for more than a few moments at how much blood she'd lost. Through all of the lecture she hadn't given any sign she was in pain. I felt much grief and remorse that she would ignore her own pains to help me calm and try to help me not fear.

At the same time, I couldn't regret it. Not only had I needed to hear some of her words, and likely will need the rest as I ponder them, it was essential that she tell me what I needed to hear to be able to trust her. However, to see I was already to lose her even as she became trustworthy was as if I'd killed her anyway regardless.

I could only look at her, and then my claws. I couldn't treat her wound, nor stem the bleeding. That was slowing anyway as most of her blood was already soaking her dress, down even to the hem, and into her leggings. I had to calm back down from the new panic all over again. I remembered watching Noriko as she cut away the cloth from around the clothing merchant's wounds. 

I looked at my claws. They were sharp. If I was very careful.... I was afraid to try, desperate to act quickly. She thought the changes would leave me eventually, but I didn't know how long and she couldn't wait. I took a few deep breaths, then carefully lifted the fabric of her dresses with one claw and with great concentration slit them all the way around the wound so that part was free of the rest of it.

Then it was the diseases by the stream all over again as I had to steel myself to slit the dress up and down from that wound so that I could peel it off of her. Actually...I was so desperate I shredded it (carefully) so I wouldn't have to pull it over her head or off her arms. That had been difficult when she'd wanted the dress off when she had the high fever. 

By the time that was done, I'd been concentrating so hard I could feel that I would soon lose the form and was relieved. I fetched both of our bags, catching the straps carefully so I didn't cut those, and brought them over next to her prone form. I found the bandanna, but only marked where it was. I would need to have proper hands to retrieve that. Then I called up the wind, seeking the closest source of clean water. It was farther down the canyon, but not too far.

The scales that were standing out from my body began to fold in and I held still and observed until they disappeared and my skin returned to it's natural color from the black. When the transformation was completed, I collected the bandanna pieces and put them in Noriko's bag for her to repair later. Then I carefully picked her up, keeping her back up so she didn't lose more blood, and juggled her and the bags carefully until we reached the small stream.

With a sigh, I finished undressing her after she was in the water with it washing through the wound to gently clean out the pieces of fabric and dirt. While the water did that, I washed the wound on her head. I washed me, too, once my skin wasn't so tender. I really hate the pain. To be both a human and a demon in the same body is quite irritating, really. Not that I want the latter. I don't.

I didn't leave Noriko in the stream longer than the wound needed to be cleaned. With that much blood loss, her temperature was already low. The cold water was only lowering it more. I put her on top of a bed of moss that was near the stream to dress her wound, using my fire powers to warm the air around her hot enough to warm her properly. I was glad I had enough herbs to cover both the head wound and the large one on her back. I had just enough of the boneknit to add in, as well. I won't really know if any ribs are broken until she wakes up and tries to breathe deeper breaths.

I didn't have to wear the jacket she made me. That was the first outfit I'd ruined since leaving her with Gaya, and longer, actually, if the most dramatically shredded. I think I might only destroy clothing regularly when she's with me. That's an embarrassing thought, actually. The part of me that's still unhappy with this situation grumbles that it's also a sign that she brings trouble with her.

The new part of me glares back and has much more strength behind it. I say new, but it isn't new. It's the changed part of me. The child has become the adult male that loves the woman Noriko and will protect her from anything. I'm still trying to come to terms with that one. I've never been one to "fall" for a member of the opposite sex. Most of them that I've had any dealings with were troublesome. Even Noriko.

But I've been with her long enough, tested her enough, watched her enough to know that this is what this is. It's why I panic when she's in trouble. Why I'm so angry with anyone who wants to do her harm. I wouldn't do that for the Awakening, but the Teacher and Noriko, who together are the Awakening: I've learned to love them because they first loved me.

I'm not sure she would react to that very well. Particularly since she's been more servant than companion or friend, even on this part of the journey. I finally remembered what came out of my mouth as she collapsed and was surprised by what it had been. I hadn't known that was what that emotion was until I said it. And then I hoped she hadn't heard it, that she was unconscious before then. It doesn't matter to me yet if she returns it. She already loves me enough with her willing help, her happy smiles, and her attempts to help me not have fear and have hope instead.

I realized that it's why I'm jealous for her, though. Returning to the rest of our friends and companions was difficult. I know now why I suddenly want to push Banadam into the next county when he looks at her. Since she called him back from his fear and anger in the forest his eyes see her even more now than they did after meeting her at Gaya's. I want to help him be blind, but I resist.

Gaya has properly been tending to Noriko now that we're together again. They came following after us, using Geena as a guide, and met me as I came with Noriko. We found a fairly sheltered place to camp on the Guzena side of the border. Barago and Banadam went to the closest village to purchase a wagon and horses, and to see about renting a place where Noriko can heal before we continue on.

The plan is that Gaya and the rest will stay with us until Noriko can at least rise from her bed by herself, then they will continue on to Selena, Guzena, to be with Gaya's sister. We'll join them after Noriko is healed enough to travel again.

It helps me to have Banadam not with us. I'm too worried still about Noriko and don't leave her side unless Gaya chases me off, making me take a break to rest from my worries. I still worry, but I know she cares and is concerned about me also. I don't need her to worry so much over two of us. That's too much worry. I already know.

I love the talks I have with Duke Jeida. His thoughtfulness often shows me insights I wouldn't have considered. He's also concerned about his wife and daughter who he sent with the captain of the guard to safety when he and his sons left the capital of Zago. Also about his country itself and the chaos and darkness it's descending into. He often bemoans that he couldn't do more for the nation and it's people. His sons will then defend him strenuously and point out the good things he was able to do.

One of those things that Gaya will mention at those times is when he brokered an agreement between the Grey Bird tribe and the nations and peoples who were angry that the tribe of warriors had lost sight of their founding father's maxims. At the time of the negotiations, the tribe had become very strong and powerful. The nations were about to eradicate them completely in retaliation for their greed and ruthlessness.

Duke Jeida managed to get everyone to agree that they wouldn't eradicate everyone in the tribe if the tribe would disband and no longer be one unit. Some members of the tribe were still angry and haven't been living rightly, but many like Gaya were ashamed of the fact they'd lost sight of what had been important in the founding of their tribe, to cause it to fall.

Banadam is very loyal to Duke Jeida for this reason. He's also of the Grey Bird tribe. Sometimes I think they're still a tribe, there just isn't any central authority. They still remain loyal to their heritage regardless.

It's nearing midnight two nights after Noriko was injured. I take the first night watch since I don't sleep then anyway. Everyone else is sleeping in their places around the fire. I'm sitting next to Noriko in my usual place when she whimpers. She isn't awake, but she's distressed by something.

I'm dreaming. I'm on my belly, lying on a floor, and I can't move, as if I'm chained down. Something evil is coming and I can't see it and I can't get away. I'm panicking and calling for Izark over and over but I can't hear him and it's as if he is gone from my side, my life, the world. My heart hurts and I whimper in fear.

I lightly place my hand on her head to comfort her and check her temperature. She jerks back in surprise, surprising me. She must have some awareness. I'm concerned. Even in that brief moment of touch I could tell she is fevered.

A light touch on my head makes me jerk in surprise, afraid that the evil I feel has finally reached me. "Izark! Izark!" I cry desolately in my heart, wondering why he's gone, wishing he would come and save me from the fear. But there is nothing, no response.

I slip my hand into hers where it rests near her face. We've lain her on her belly so that the wound can properly heal. "I'm here, Noriko. I'm with you," I say quietly to not wake the others. She pulls my hand closer to herself, then gasps in pain. "Don't move. You're injured." I don't know how much she remembers in her current state.

A hand slips into mine, to hold me with gentle strength. "I'm here, Noriko. I'm with you." I pull the hand closer to me and a shooting pain goes through my back. I gasp involuntarily. "Don't move. You're injured."

"Injured?"

"Didn't you know?" I've been wanting to know.

"No." I'm back in the dream again, and I tremble with the fear and loneliness again.

She trembles and gives a small sob. "What is it, Noriko? Is it a nightmare...a bad dream?"

I nod slightly. "I can't move, tied down, and an evil is coming. I can't feel you, or find you, or hear you. I'm lost, ...or you are gone. I'm so afraid."

I can't speak for a moment, but I lightly rub the back of her hand with my thumb to hopefully give her some comfort. That is my own waking nightmare. That I will be lost and coming to find her, fully evil. I swallow around the lump in my throat. "Noriko, please...do not be afraid of me." Only her optimism keeps me walking forward. I don't want her to remember what she saw and fear that either. If that's what she sees in her nightmare that would make me even more sad.

She pulls my hand to her lips and kisses the back of it, then holds it closely to her, as if to find her comfort, or to reassure me. "No. It isn't you. It's something that wants to take me away from you. Something so evil...." She whimpers again and I want to whimper with her. Now she's saying that my fear of the being that paid my parents to take care of me is going to come face me. I don't know who that was, and still can't understand why they'd want the great evil of the Sky Demon to fall upon this world. For that creature or person to take Noriko away from me....

Now that I understand I love her, there begins to open to me another possibility. If they took her and harmed her, or even worse killed her, I'm not sure I'd be able to control the great anger I'd have. They could potentially unleash the Sky Demon with just that action. I shiver, but Noriko is now rambling in her talking to me, and I can feel the heat coming from her now that my hand is held so closely to her.

I call to Gaya until she wakes up. "Oh. Is it Noriko?" she asks.

"Yes. She's fevered, and having a nightmare. If I leave her side she'll cry and maybe try to move and reopen her injury. Can you please get a cold cloth for her head? We should check her wounds and maybe repoultice them."

Gaya is rising to her feet, large enough that's a chore, but she willingly gets to work, bringing me a cloth wrung out from the bucket we keep here at the campsite and refill daily. I lay the cloth over Noriko's forehead and that helps to calm her some. I slowly slip my hand from her grasp but she's gone again enough she doesn't notice.

I'm rambling in my dream, still half-present to him. It seems I still say things to him, but nothing sticks. It seems he talks to someone else, and a little later a cold cloth is put on my face. It feels so good.

While I prepare the poultice, Gaya turns back Noriko's blanket and removes the bandaging. With another cloth, she dabs at the wound. "It is rather hot," she comments to me.

"Place the cold cloth on it until I have this done, but clean it very well first. It may be the herbs pulled out too much poison from the wound. If it's completely rinsed then the new poultice can heal instead of make the poison fester," I instruct.

Gaya tries to be gentle. Noriko doesn't change much in her mental rambling, other than to pause with a sigh of pleasure when the cool cloth is finally laid over her cleansed wound. I nod. That was likely it.

The blanket over me is removed and some other things until my back is feeling the cool air. Cool water is being dabbed on what must be a wound, cleaning it. A cool poultice is placed on it, then another cool cloth. The warmed cloth on my head is removed and replaced cool again, and I'm able to fade back into unconsciousness again.

I bring the poultice to Gaya and replace the hot cloth on Noriko's head with another cool one, then check that wound as well. It seems to be fine but I clean it and change it properly as well. All of her is hot, even if not as hot as her first fever. I'm careful with her skin, even still. Even a more mild fever like this one can make already weakened skin be troublesome again.

When Gaya and I are finished, Noriko is already asleep again and her fever is beginning to decrease. "I'll take my turn now," Gaya says, giving me a firm scolding look.

"Yes, Gaya," I say meekly and lie down next to Noriko in my bed. I learned long ago it was better to agree with Gaya sooner than later. There are plenty of us to take watches so it isn't like any of us are up long anyway. I'll still stay awake until my normal time to sleep, but being able to rest here by Noriko is enough to make me content. When Gaya moves away and her back is to us, I gently brush Noriko's hair and slip my hand back into hers.

With a sigh, I close my eyes. Even that much can bring me some small peace I didn't have before. I hope it will help Noriko sleep more peacefully as well. It was what helped her when she was so troubled in Calco the night after our fight with the thieves that she couldn't even cry more than a few silent tears.

I wake. I'm so weary, so wrung out, it's almost as if I don't even have the strength to breathe. I wonder if this is what it feels like to have lost too much blood. If I didn't even know I was wounded, how much blood would've been lost in all that time?

I open my eyes and Izark's sleeping face is directly in my sight. It's even more ethereally beautiful in sleep than when he is awake and I stare at it without thought for a while. My hand moves to touch his face, and I make it stop halfway and put it down again, clenching it. My heart clenches with it.

When I think of his last words to me, it makes my heart leap. How do I tell him, after asking him to trust me, that I can't trust those feelings, and he shouldn't either? Until we understand why we have this strange connection of the heart, and what its purpose is, we can't trust that any emotions that are binding emotions are really ours. We've been bound, but not by our own choice.

I can completely understand why he feels he's fallen in love with me. My heart feels the same. But it was a forced thing, forced upon us by the bond that makes us know where the other is, and how far apart we are, that has now allowed us to be able to communicate telepathically. I could never bind him to me in such a way as to make it so when this artificial bond is gone, removed, broken, we find that in the end we're disappointed or unhappy with making such a decision, not made freely.

I close my eyes. The conflict in my heart hurts. "Are you in pain?" I shake my head, but I can't get my expression to stop telling the truth. Me being awake must have woken Izark up. I feel his hand at my head and it takes all I have to not flinch away. He's just checking my head wound and taking my temperature again. I force myself to believe it, but the traitorous tears leak out.

I awaken the next morning and for a moment wonder why. Then I see a pained expression on Noriko's face. "Are you in pain?" I ask her quietly. She shakes her head but the expression doesn't go away. I reach out to touch her forehead and she stiffens, then tries to relax, but tears leak from her eyes. I'm sad she has to go through this pain, that I didn't know she was bleeding while standing in front of me.

I can tell Izark is very sad, but I can't say it. I can't reject his words to me because my heart needs them so badly. My mind can't accept them. What am I to do? He moves to check the wound on my back. I'm relieved to not have him looking at my face any more, and am able to relax a little better.

I sit up and move the blanket away and check the poultice on her back. She relaxes to have it cooled again. It looks better this morning than it seemed to be during the night. She's also awake, and that's a sign of better healing. "It's looking better, on the outside," I tell her, knowing that she likely wants to know, even if only for information's sake.

"What happened?" I ask.

I pause, replacing the blanket over her. "You really don't know?

I shake my head slightly. "No. I only know that I was hit a few times as I ran away. I do remember one that nearly knocked me over, but I recovered and kept running. And then the rain of small stones after you broke the big one, but those weren't bad. Just small bruises at the time. It was better than the death I would have had. Sheshe."

I've walked over to the fire to get it going again so it can be ready for breakfast making. Rontarna waves a good morning at me and gives me a nod with a glance at Noriko. I nod back. It is good to have her awake again. When I'm near her again I sigh. "That one cut you, deeply, and cracked at least two ribs. You should have felt it. You fainted from losing too much blood. Because I was in front of you, I didn't notice it, I'm sorry."

"No. It's not your fault. It's [adrenaline]." I close my eyes again. It would be kinder to not give the lecture.

While I'm on the other side of her, I see her eye close as if she's going to sleep again, or perhaps just rest. I appreciate she's willing to forgive me, but what did she just blame it on? That was one of her words. "What is [a-dre-naln]?" I try to say what I heard. It was a long word and I'm not sure I got it right.

My eyes fly open. He wants the lecture? I want to roll over and look at him. I lift my head to look around at him and it pulls on the wound too much so that I wince. He comes back around to sit where I can see him. He really does look interested.

Her eye flies open again, then she's trying to lift and turn her head to see me, as if she can't believe I just opened my mouth. She winces in pain so I move to sit on that side of her again. I can hear in my head my tease to her. "You will ask to teach?" Without it being said, I hear her reply, "You will ask for the teaching?" She kindly doesn't actually say it.

"It's a [chemical] in the body. Like what the herbs do to affect us, there are things like that already in our bodies. When we are afraid, or need extra strength to survive, the emotion makes our body release the adrenaline into the blood. When it gets to the organs, it increases their strength. The heart beats harder and faster to make it go into the muscles even faster to give them energy and strength. When it goes into the brain, it helps us to see and hear better and think more clearly, hiding the emotions so they don't make us make mistakes."

I'm feeling a bit like I did for the first lecture. I'm following along, but wondering how in the world the people of her world figured something like this out? We can see the effects of herbs on our wounds or in the other ways we use them. To know of effects similar within our bodies, when all we know is that whatever a body does is natural.... How did they do that?

"When it happens often, we become [conditioned]... trained to react to the adrenaline. We call it the ‘fight or flight' response. I've learned to quickly become prepared to run, and as soon as anything sounds or looks like it's going to attack, I move, very quickly. Like when the hair monster came into the room. I was already prepared because I was already afraid of the demon, and because you reacted.

"I watch you to know when it's time to be ready to act. Then when it happens, I can protect myself quickly." I grin slightly. "I've taken to calling it my ‘[rabbit response]'. A rabbit is a prey of my land that is very cautious and is alert at the slightest hint of danger. At the first hint it's real, it moves and very quickly. That's what I've learned to do, but it's because of the adrenaline."

I approve. Adrenaline is a good thing in her case, then.

"When we're in that state, we'll often not feel pain, because to feel the pain is to potentially die. As long as the body still needs to protect itself, it won't relax and the adrenaline stays in the blood and the body. When the threat of death is gone, then the body relaxes and the adrenaline goes away. Then the body feels the pain, the fear, and worry. I'm usually very tired also, because it makes the muscles so tense that it's like a long sword practice."

I tip my head, guessing quickly. "Is this why you cry after, then sleep?"

I smile and nod. "Yes. The adrenaline leaves and I'm back to being a frightened, weak girl."

I look at him soberly for a moment. "I wonder, Izark.... I wonder if it's adrenaline in your system that makes the changes in your body. When you need more strength to fight, when you're worried, the adrenaline would enter you also and prepare your muscles to fight. When you're able to relax, the adrenaline leaves and you return to normal also. If there were a chemical reaction in your cells to the adrenaline...." Well, that will get too deep and I can't draw from this position, but he looks like he's thinking about it.

She likely doesn't have enough shared words to say more than that, but I think I understand where she's going with that. Every cell in my body hurts in sympathetic pain to the memory of what she's just described as my episodes that are so painful, and none more so than this most recent time, when I was shocked into a high level of fear, that was then made even greater when she was thrown at the cliff face. That had been a sudden enough fear reaction at a high enough level to perhaps be what pushed me too fast to control the change.

To make sure, I ask, "If I weren't afraid, but were calm, then the physical changes might not happen?"

"Right. You could still draw on the strength. The chemical reaction wouldn't happen, if you could keep the adrenaline from going into your bloodstream.

"Of course, you could also learn how to allow just enough so that you were in whatever form you needed to be in. That would also take practice, and fear is not always easy to combat, especially when one has already learned to react with or to fear. With enough practice and strengthening of your mind and will over your body's flight or fight response, you could probably completely control the entire amount of strength within you, without ever changing."

How well I know how that works. Not only how difficult it is to do, but how to do it. That's already how I control how much power I use. It took a long time when I was a boy to overcome the fear enough to have proper control. To be able to do it for all of my strength, though. That seems almost impossible. Still...I know that it's always little steps practiced constantly that bring those results I want to see.

I can only face her with amazement and be honest. "Noriko. This is why I love you. You are always giving me hope. Telling me things that will help me be what I want to be, to not be afraid. You are always teaching me things that strengthen me."

I feel compassion. "I'm glad I'm able to strengthen you, Izark. If I can give you hope, to make your fear go away, then I am happy." We sit quietly for a moment as Izark thinks about what I've taught him, then a thing becomes a problem for me. "Izark, what is the plan? What are we doing next?"

I lean back on my hands, looking her in the eye. "We're going to wait here for the outer wound to heal, then take you to a safe place for the bones to finish healing. Barago and Banadam have gone to the closest town to find a place and a wagon to transport you. We'll decide more after that."

I ponder that briefly. "Okay. But...," I lightly blush, "right now, I really need to go to the [bathroom] ...use the toilet."

It turns out Gaya has been my nurse most of the time, although Izark initially bound the wounds and hasn't left my side. Together they get me up very carefully and Gaya supports me to help me. I must really have lost a lot of blood, I am so tired just from that little excursion that I'm ready to fall back to sleep.

First, I do drink a tea of healing herbs that they tell me will help the blood as well. I explain that meat will help also, cooked so still lightly pink inside. The iron in the blood of the animals will help be a building block for my own blood.

I almost wish for a transfusion so I can let them all leave this place faster and not have to wait on me, but likely the blood types are way off, and I don't think Izark would let me do that again anyway. Dark leafy greens on Earth are also high in iron content, so I mention it by mind to Izark, but there is no way to know if that translates to here.

I wake Gaya who was stirring anyway. We help Noriko rise to her feet, a difficult thing. Gaya supports her to the place we use while I brew up a cup of a tea that will help her body create more blood. By the time Noriko returns she can barely stand. I hold her propped up against me while helping her drink the tea, then we help her back to her bed, still keeping her on her stomach so her back heals properly.

She spends her time in between sips of the tea doing her favorite thing: teaching. We learn that the blood of animals will help create more blood for humans, although she says not drinking it. Just the blood in cooked meat, if left just pink enough, is sufficient, and is a healthier way for the body to change the blood into "building blocks". That part was hard to follow.

Only to me in our internal conversation, she says that on her world edible dark green leafed vegetables and herbs also are very good at helping build up the blood, but she doesn't know if that translates to this world. Given half of the herbs I just steeped for her are very dark green I think that must be similar in some small way.

Because of her exertion, she's asleep soon after, but it's a relaxed healing sleep. I can also relax, knowing she's going to mend just fine. I spend a few hours mediating in a meadow by myself, going without Gaya nagging me. I have many things to practice now.

The next time Noriko is awake we're all talking quietly around the fire. Duke Jeida is telling us what he's finally worked out while we've been here in the peace of this place. This time he isn't so sad, which is heartening. He's been depressed about what's happened to him.

He's been thinking about how everyone works to do something that supports the others around them in the world. Even the small part he can play helps in some way. He doesn't have to do it all himself. He can rely on others and let others rely on what he can do to help them. This has helped him to find peace and the strength to move forward, doing each day what he can in the circumstance he's found himself in.

That's already what I do. I think that Noriko also does this very well, and is a very good example of that. It makes me think of a question for Noriko that I can ask here. "Noriko, you know much about the body and medicine. In your previous place, were you thinking of becoming a doctor?"

When I wake up the next time, my companions are talking quietly. I listen carefully. Duke Jeida is speaking. I like to listen to his slow, quiet voice. I'm surprised when his words bring me comfort as well. The little things I'm able to do, even if it is just lecture Izark and give him hope, perhaps are enough.

As I sit and float in this new comfort, Izark asks me if I was thinking of becoming a doctor. We've already talked about me being a student, so he knows I haven't picked a profession yet.

I take a moment to think about that. "I wasn't going to. I was going to study math and [engineering], the understanding of and application of physical laws to things that make daily life better for others. But..., you're right. I do know a lot about the body as well.

"...I think if I stay here in this place, that might be what I would do. The things I still needed to learn to do the other are beyond me, and I would need a teacher. But to be a doctor, I already know enough. With a year or two of study under an experienced doctor, I would likely be able to do it on my own." 

I'm also thinking of all the research I could do to advance their medicine, even a little. "I think, too, that if I could teach what I know to as many as want to learn it, at a place of learning, that would be of benefit to this place, although I have much to learn also. Is there such a place?" I'm thinking university.

I'm not surprised to hear of this desire. It's Duke Jeida that answers her. "There are two, one on this continent and one across the sea on the eastern continent, that draw many researchers, people who study and try to learn new things. But there are also other places of learning. If peace could be brought back to the world, it would be nice to have them operating again."

I nod. "That's good, that there are some here. Otherwise I would have suggested I could start one, a school for higher learning." Izark is looking at me with an interesting expression. It makes me think that the dragon is proud of his treasure. When I realize this, I blush and look away.

I'm very proud of her for being able to look forward without fear of her future in a strange world she can't leave. At the same time I'm remembering that I've already scolded her for teaching things of her world to this one. That would get around the problem of being thought she was from another world, but really, to go so far as to create one herself if there weren't any here to begin with. We aren't that uncultured or unlearned. I need to take her into a few more capital cities as soon as we can travel without so much fear.

She blushes and looks away, but I suppose it's my own fault for keeping her hidden away from any sort of culture until now.

Chapter Text

Barago and Banadam finally come back in another day with a wagon. I insist that we move right away. I can lie down in a wagon as easily as on the ground.

They've rented a house out in the country for the few weeks it takes me to finish healing. It's a nice place surrounded by rolling hills covered in grass, wildflowers, and stands of trees. It's a peaceful place to heal in. When I'm able to be up on my own, Gaya will take Duke Jeida and his men into the capital city of Guzena to be with her sister. This house is a little small for all of us.

Barago, Agol, and Geena will stay with Izark and me. They seem to think having Geena with us and the rest with Gaya's sister is similar to having a telephone connection, and I guess it may be. Izark and I are like that, after all, although specific since we can't talk to anyone else. The seers can tell for both their own futures and those around them, so they are more like real phones: predestinephones, or PDP for short, I entertain myself.

The slow days that I'm up are learning days for me, since Izark knows I hate not being busy. I do sew some, but they are also teaching me to cook and Izark brings me herbs to teach me what they are and how to use them. I think it's because I admitted I might like to become a doctor. He knows quite a bit, actually, for someone who doesn't have to worry about his own health.

I ask him about it one day. He tells me that because in his work people are often injured he wanted to know how to help them recover. He learned it under a doctor who hired him to protect him on a journey. Most of the time, though, I'm resting on my bed, trying to not let the bones in my back ache too much.

The house Barago found for us to rent is out in the countryside. It's small, but the place is perfect for staying hidden in a quiet place. We've given Noriko the bedroom and the bed so she can be comfortable since she has to stay in it most of the time, particularly early in her healing.

When she learned it was the only real bed in the house, she insisted that Gaya stay in the bed with her at night, and Geena has been enjoying staying with them in the "girl's room". Even when injured Noriko is kind and cheerful.

Sometimes we men will hear them talking with her late enough in the night I go in and scold her. She laughs at me. Gaya squirms as if she's the little girl getting the scolding and then I wonder if it's Gaya that loves having another girl around to talk to. That makes me smile, but they still need to let Noriko have her proper rest.

We men are crammed in around every edge and I've taken to wandering outside at night during my awake times and sleeping in the barn. The straw is softer than the floor. So is the dirt sometimes. Straight hard boards covered only with the travel bed night after night make me sometimes wish for that.

The others will leave soon, though. Noriko's healing well and Gaya's been teaching Geena how to do what she can, and there's me for the rest. Agol and Barago will stay with us here. I can't shake off Barago who's decided to become my bodyguard, or something, and Agol acts like Noriko's.

Sometimes I complain at them they make me feel like Noriko and I are the lord and lady of the manor home. Agol just smiles and Barago teases me that of course we are, then barks his laugh at me when I can only be embarrassed. He loves to tease me. I sometimes catch Noriko giving him glares for it, but I think she doesn't know how to get him to stop any more than I do.

Nights are also the time I'm practicing so the others don't see. I've finally learned how to tease apart the different energies. They have different flavors is the best way to put it. Earth energy is heavy, not unexpectedly. Earthy. I think that's why I don't use it well. I think I may have exacerbated my problems the time I went through the most recent change by drawing on it. I don't usually but I was so angry.

I am the Sky Demon after all. Sky is light, like the air, and like fire. Fire dances with air and is tangy. It's almost as rich as earth, though. I think that's why blacksmithing works so well: fire and earth move together well in the furnaces. Air is spicy. It's odd to think so, but one of the early days I was wandering and caught a scent on the wind I hadn't smelled in a very long time.

I came over a knoll and stared in amazement. It was a field of mixed flowers and herbs that spread for a long ways, even over the next knoll. The mixed smells there were so strong that I had to make the wind dance so I could breathe.

The numbers of butterflies and other little birds that love to sip at nectar that arrived within only a short time to settle on the field made it look like a flower field from the sky came down to kiss the flower field of the earth. That showed me very well just why air is spicy. It carries all of the scents of the earth upon it so that the creatures know where the best food is.

I wish I could show that meeting of sky and flower to Noriko, but I may have to settle for just bringing her to the field itself. It's beautiful enough. ...I'm thinking she's not likely to want to come alone with me.

That's been a little difficult, because it makes Barago's teasing all the more embarrassing. Noriko is still maintaining her distance and hasn't told me if she heard me confess I love her. (I know she did the later time I tested it but that didn't get much reaction out of the ordinary.) Her eyes follow me, though, so I think she did. It hurts just a little that her eyes go sad when she looks away.

Sometimes I wonder if she's worried she'll be sent home randomly, she was so randomly brought here. I'm trying to not think of that. It won't happen until after we figure out what the prophecy really means, and that holds enough unknowns for me at the moment.

I'm sorry if I've put her into a position of feeling uncomfortable if she isn't sure how to respond. What we have is enough, really...except I do miss having the little opportunities to touch since she's not afraid here. I'm relieved she can have the opportunity to relax. Even I breathe a little easier here.

Finding the field was an excellent excuse to be close to Noriko for at least a part of the days I'm missing her too much and need her peace. Because she told us she might become a doctor, I can have the excuse of teaching her about the herbs of this world and how we use them. She's a very industrious student and enjoys practicing using the herbs.

She found an odd delight in learning how to use the mortar and pestle. I asked Agol to pick one up on one of his trips into the city to shop for things we needed. I'll carry those in my bag. They're quite heavy, even the small medicinal ones he purchased. (I got to touch her for that lesson and enjoy more than one tease that day. Barago laughed and Agol smiled, enjoying the teasing with me. She finally scolded us all for it, but I could only smile.)

Agol's a reasonable cook, having had to learn after his wife died. He's been helping me keep the mind and hands of the Teacher busy by teaching Noriko to cook. She admitted she'd only had the very basic lessons on her world, but she's worked hard on learning what he can teach her. Those lessons frustrate her a little more since we have to eat the failures, too. She finds that both embarrassing and stressful.

Still, it makes her work harder the next time. I'm not sure she'll do much baking ever after this place, but it's a good start to cooking over a fire. Those lessons can come later when we're on the road again. There are times I wish to be on the road alone with her again, but it's a hard life to live, and for us it would mean we were on the run in hiding again.

Noriko's strong enough to be up most of the day now and a change of view would be good for her. I hitch the horse up. It's also getting flabby and lazy not being properly worked. I may have to run with it to get it back into shape. When the horse and wagon are ready, I collect Noriko. Barago invites everyone along and Noriko asks me very politely if they can come. Since I expected her to, I tell her it's fine. I'd rather she was comfortable enough to enjoy herself.

I'm a little nervous. I still don't know how to face Izark alone. When Barago, who's been teasing Izark more than I've been liking, suggests the others could come along with since they aren't doing anything, I ask Izark if they can, very politely. I don't want to hurt his feelings. He shrugs so Barago and Agol saddle their horses too and we take a "family" trip about a mile or so from the house.

The trip to the field of flowers is faster by wagon than me walking to it, of course. This time Noriko is sitting next to me on the seat of the wagon and I look to see her expression as we come over the fist knoll. Her eyes go very wide and the delight on her face fills me.

"Oh, Izark!" she breathes, her hands coming up to clasp together in front of her chest. "It's beautiful! We don't have these colors, most of them. And translucent flowers, almost like colored glass instead of petals! It's amazing." I am satisfied.

Her eyes continue to scan the field as I stop the wagon under one of the trees that are scattered about the area and help her out. I support her to walk her into the field where she can be surrounded, a rare flower among flowers. She touches them and names the ones I've already brought to teach her.

"Even I can see all the pretty colors, Papa!" Geena says, her head turning to look, a smile on her face as well. She skips off to begin feeling each flower and petal, her father walking behind her slowly with a smile on his face.

"Be careful, Geena," I warn gently. "Some of them are prickly. They won't hurt much if you're gentle with them, so you can feel them all, if you want. Some are very short, too, but smell very nice."

I'm remembering a singular day in my past, only a few hours, and having Noriko in the field turns my feet as well. "I'll be nearby," I say to Noriko. She gives me a nod, too delighted to worry. Barago also wanders off into the field to enjoy the rare view.

There was a flower field similar to this near my childhood home. I would run to that quiet beautiful place when my life became too dark to stay in any longer. It was a place I could breathe and rest. One of the days I went there, thinking I was alone, the wind brought me the scent of another person I didn't recognize. I was frightened of her at first, but she only sat in the grass and talked with me gently. Her hair was long and black like mine is now and she called herself a ‘fallen star'.

As I remember that day, feeling Noriko sitting in this flower field like I felt Miss Lettie then, I pick the same sort of bouquet Miss Lettie had requested of me: one of every flower in the field. I also remember fondly each one and what they're used for. I'll use this bouquet to teach everything to Noriko that Miss Lettie taught me that day once I'd returned to her. She was so patient and kind to me that day.

As I sit and enjoy the view, Izark walks the field until he's out of sight over a little knoll.

I close my eyes and feel his presence, and my heart aches again. I wish I could answer him. He is so close, closer than he ever was before, but now it's me who withdraws from him, and I'm afraid I'm hurting him. "Are you okay, Noriko?" Agol asks kindly.

I look up at him and smile sadly. "Yes, thank you." He's crouched down next to me. He looks like he wants to speak, maybe even listen or help, but there isn't anything I can say to him.

"Hey, hey. Do these flowers make me look prettier?" Big, hulking Barago has the face of a cleft from Paper Mario that not even plastic surgery can make look remotely pretty, although perhaps "rugged" might be apropos. Putting a crown of flowers on his head makes him look more like a Roman emperor than decorated. Agol is desperately trying not to laugh.

I blink a few times. "Barago, do you really like flowers? That was very agile of you to be able to braid them together. Can you teach me?"

Agol stares at me. Barago does too, then breaks into a huge grin. "You've never made a flower crown before?"

I shake my head. "I've never been where there were enough flowers to try, until now."

"I'll go pick some for you and teach you, then...though you should let Izark do it, you know?" He winks at me and wanders back out into the field, hunting for whatever flower works. I sigh. I hope Barago won't tease too much on this trip.

I look around. Izark is coming back over the knoll. He takes my breath away, his long hair blowing gently in the soft breeze of the day, looking feminine, vulnerable, and beautiful. The image is made more forcefully by the bouquet he carries in his arm. That would be an expensive one at home.

I can't stop looking, but I also can't look in his eyes. He sets the bouquet in my lap. "Here are more herbs we can dry and use later." His expression says that he knows there might be rejection if he calls it a bouquet he brought to please the love of his heart.

To hide the sorrow in my eyes I pick up the bouquet in both arms and smell the flowers appreciatively. "Thank you, Izark. They're beautiful." You're beautiful.

As I return over the second knoll to Noriko who's seated still in the flowers, surrounded loosely by the other three from our group, it's easy to remember the ending of that visit. I'd asked if I might see Miss Lettie again. She only promised she would continue to watch over me in the field as a star if she couldn't.

I'd demanded she let me know her name, and she hadn't wanted to give it to me. When she did, I understood why. She knew I'd be sad. Even I'd heard the story that she was a "demon" and had been sentenced to death for the murders of multiple people.

I couldn't believe it of her, not after her kindness to me. I'd run after her and held her, as if my small arms could hold her there, prevent her death. She'd turned to me, still so kind, and told me that neither she nor I were demons. Demons were creatures who fed on emotions. We were humans who were special. She's the one who encouraged me to learn to properly use my air and fire skills, so that I wouldn't harm with them accidentally.

I missed her terribly even after the singular visit. I went back regularly to practice in the field where there had been a day of peace and comradeship for both of us. I would look up at the sky and wonder if she did watch down on me kindly. Sometimes I believed she did.

As I walk towards Noriko, I think, Miss Nettie, if you're still watching down on me, particularly in a field of flowers like this, do you see her? The one who you told me would come into my life one day? I've protected my heart and she is opening it. I hope she'll continue to be worthy of it, but I believe she is. It's terribly ironic that she's also the Awakening, a creature this world also doesn't understand save through what little lore exists. As I set the bouquet in Noriko's lap I silently add, Please, continue to smile and watch over us. I hope you're still happy where you are now.

"Here are more herbs we can dry and use later," I say out loud, knowing that Noriko doesn't want to have my feelings pressed on her, and that excuse is sufficient because I know she'll enjoy learning about them.

Noriko picks up the bouquet in both arms and smells the flowers appreciatively. "Thank you, Izark. They're beautiful."

"Izark, it's called a bouquet, not a ‘bunch of herbs'," Barago says, letting his presence be known. Noriko's look should have warned him, but he continues, trying to get my attention, which hadn't really been on anyone else in the area, since I'd been thinking about my past. "But then, you seem to be off today, anyway. You've missed my beauty." He strikes a pose, and I look at him confused until Barago points to the flower crown on his head. "Doesn't it make me more beautiful?"

I'm stunned rather speechless. The rugged Barago knows how to weave flower crowns? Or did Geena do it? "No...?"

Barago pulls it off his head. "Then I won't wear it. Izark is the one I have chosen to follow -- especially since he's the one who made it so I don't have anywhere else to go."

I'm a bit stricken. I hadn't realized he felt that way about being used to help us get out of Nada's castle. "Ah, I really am sorry, Barago."

Barago stands there solemnly for a bit then chuckles. "Don't let it bother you, Izark. I'll stick around for a bit because I think it would help. You don't need to be stressed out about it." I glare at him a bit. He's teased me again, and again I fell for it.

He drops the flower crown on top of Geena's head and it slowly slips down to be a necklace. "Here, these are meant to make girls prettier, so you can have them. Izark's already given flowers to Noriko, like he should."

Izark seems slightly irritated, but I am also. I should have left Barago back at the house.

My hackles raise a little. I know most everyone in our group understands that Noriko and I have a unique relationship, but why Barago has to keep assuming it's a romantic one annoys me. I turn to Noriko so I can hold my tongue. "It's time to get you back to rest." I need Noriko a little closer after having thought of my past, so I choose to pick her up and carry her.

She hold the flowers and looks back at the field one last time. "Thank you again, Izark. It's a very beautiful place." I blush a little, but I'm pleased she enjoyed it as much as I do.

As I set Noriko on the wagon, Barago comments, "Did you want to --"

"Barago," Noriko interrupts firmly. "Shut up." She doesn't even look at him as she settles in the wagon.

There is shocked silence, then Barago quietly asks me as I pass him, "Have you ever heard her do that before?"

I climb into the driver's seat of the wagon, letting Barago stew a bit, then look at him, keeping completely neutral since he's brought it on himself not paying proper attention. "Yes. Once." She was angry then, too.

We're getting ready to go and join Gaya and the others. Izark and Barago are making sure the wagon is road worthy. Agol and Geena have gone into the little town to let the lady we're renting the house from know we're leaving tomorrow and to pick up a few supplies.

I finish preparing the food for dinner and put it to cooking. I want to enjoy the quiet of this place one last time before we go. "Izark, dinner's in. I'm going to go for a walk. I'll be back soon."

Izark looks up from the wagon wheel he's inspecting. Really, he is rather multi-talented. I wonder if part of it was his time with the caravan. "Okay. Let me know if you need me."

I look at him for a moment, then as I turn away, I say, "Always." I know I've floored him because Barago barks his dog-like laugh. I also love to make Izark flustered. It's so easy. I smile as I walk away.

Noriko is ready for travel and I keep feeling like we've been in one place too long already. The longer she and I stay in any one place the longer the news has to reach ears we don't want to have pointed our way. Honestly, as I was meditating a couple of nights ago, it occurred to me that this feeling is almost like the same sort of feeling I had when the demon of the White Mist Forest was watching us and waiting to strike. I can't tell what the source of the feeling is, really, so I'm not sure. Either way, it's time to move on.

I take Barago with me to check on the wagon. It will need to be able to make the long trek and the wagon wheel we found that led us to the clothing merchant is before my eyes since the feeling came on. I don't want to have Noriko be the one taking the role of the merchant should we lose a wheel, not when she's finally recovered this much.

Agol has taken Geena into town so he can show her around it before we leave. He's also picking up the final supplies we'll need and letting the landlady know we're leaving so she can rent the house to someone else.

Noriko comes out of the front door and comes out far enough to say, "Izark, dinner's in. I'm going to go for a walk. I'll be back soon."

I look up from the wagon wheel I'm inspecting. "Okay. Let me know if you need me."

She looks at me for a moment, then as she turns away, she says, "Always." 

I'm stunned by the one word and the way her body moved as she said it. I've never had her flirt with me and it did something to my body I didn't expect. I want to see more of it, suddenly.

Barago ‘kindly' brings me back to my senses by laughing at me. I turn and rise to grab his shirt in my hand and pull him up close to me. "Barago! Just stop!"

He's pulled to his knees because his size is irrelevant to my strength. His surprise at being reminded of it is quickly erased, though. He knows me too well now. He grins at me. "What's up with you? You're her big protector, right? Isn't she supposed to call on you whenever she needs you?"

Well, he has a point. I slump. "Please. Just stop." It nearly comes out as a whine.

He barks his laugh at me. "You're not supposed to threaten someone when you're trying to win their favor, you know."

I let him loose. I wish I had a way to explain it so he would let up on the teasing. Neither of us like it. "She's still trying to understand the place she's gotten into. It's not so easy --"

I break off. Something isn't right. "Noriko!" I turn the direction she's in, and then I'm running.

"Noriko?"

I freeze. I've become complacent here in this quiet place. No one should know my name and I don't recognize the voice. There's a step behind to my right and I'm running, trying to get back to the house.

"Izark! Help. Strangers who know my name!" Most of them seem to be in the direction I had been going, so are behind me now, but two are very close to me, in particular the one who I almost let grab me at the beginning. I'm running for all I'm worth, the same as I did for the hair monster, but this time I can see and I know my way around.

He's too close. I dodge left quickly and he swears, his hand catching empty air.

I put on a burst of speed. The wind tells me that there are at least five other people with Noriko. That's not good at all.

I round the corner of a stand of trees and reach down to the ground to pick up dirt in my hand. My fingers and fire form the dirt into three different fired stones. As I prepare to throw the first one, Noriko dives forward and somersaults in sync with my throw so that she's out of the way of the man behind her.

The stone hits the man who was far too close to her for my heart in the leg and he's on the ground, holding the leg and screaming in pain. Noriko's already back up on her feet and running towards me again.

I grab Noriko in my arms, both of us still running, and pull her around to be behind me, so I can protect her. She grabs on to the back of my jacket so I know where she is, but I can have my hands free. This was part of our practice with the knife training.

I throw another stone at the next man coming for Noriko and he's down, holding his leg and writhing in pain. I don't have to have my sword to defend her, but in that moment I swear to never be without my blade ever again, even in peaceful areas. I've become too complacent here.

"Ho, a knight in shining armor, eh?" It's an alto female voice, and it's neither pretty, nor nice. "I think the rest of you had better let me handle this one. He's not something the rest of you can handle. You get the girl while I take care of him."

She's wearing a robe with loose sleeves and a large medallion rests on her chest. There are still four other men with her. I'll assume she has special powers. That makes me even more unhappy I'm without my sword.

"Izark!" It's Barago. "I've brought your sword. I'll protect Noriko while you take care of that one." Barago hands me my sword.

I switch to stand behind Barago and hold on to him the same way, one hand holding the back of his shirt. I slip his knife out of its sheath and turn to face the men who are coming to encircle the two of us.

"Barago, just do what you need to do. Izark and I have done this before. Consider me just an extension of yourself. I'll move with you. If it's something I can't handle you'll become my swung sword. Only resist if you've got a blow headed your way that's going to do damage. I can duck under anything else."

"Got it," he says, focused on the men in front of him.

Noriko lets go of me and stands behind Barago instead. As she starts instructing him in how to fight in the way we practiced, I move against the woman who challenged me. I want these people gone and out of here as fast as possible. I try to stay wary, though. Until I know what she can do, I shouldn't rush into the fight. "Why do you want Noriko?!"

"Because Lord Silent Mask wants her. I'll tell you more if you can defeat me." She raises her elbows in a funny way, then snaps her arms out and long lengths of cloth come out from inside both sleeves.

They come at me quickly, spiraling. I watch them closely and notice the tips of them stiffen. I might be bound by the flexible parts, but I don't want those tips striking me. I dodge and use the energy of wind only to slice into the hardened tips, slicing them off the rest of the length of the fabric.

My eyes are on the rest of that, wanting to know if they'll bind me. I dodge out of the way, and they follow me as if alive. I swing at the two lengths of fabric and they curl away from the swing. This is going to be a very strange fight. Swirling her arms, the woman I'm facing gloats. "I can control this cloth as if it were my body. I can make it do whatever I want."

I head for her. I can dodge the cloth well enough and she has no defenses other than that. She disagrees, apparently. "Ha ha ha! You can't defeat me! You can't even get close to me."

The cloths swirl around me to make an enclosure. I leap out of the trap, headed for the woman. My jumps can take me far higher than any normal man, and she's only seeing a wandering warrior, not expecting an opponent who also has special skills. When I'm not trapped, she looks around in surprise, and barely jumps backwards in time to escape my attack.

Before she lands she's already controlling her fabric to come at me again. The fabric wraps quickly around my sword arm, and binds my arms together. I'm surprised when it continues to bind around my whole body. It not only starts to squeeze me tightly, but it's sticky somehow, sticking to my clothing and making the binding even worse, not to mention generally gross.

The cloth has me bound so I can't free my hands easily and the tip of my sword is controlled by her end of one of the cloths. As I pull back on my sword anyway to see if I can get the blade to cut the fabric that binds it, she exults, "It's impossible to cut this cloth. I can change the material any way I wish. I can make it hard or sticky. This is the power Lord Silent Mask gave me!"

It isn't impossible to cut, I already proved that. Obviously it's sticky. I wish it wasn't. It's making my skin crawl it's so creepy. That last thing makes my worry peak. I try to practice not letting the adrenaline win. That's going to take a lot of practice, but I try anyway since I have the opportunity to. Men with special powers can't give them to other people. That is a rumored skill of evil men with spirits who work for them, or of demons.

Is it possible that the sense I've been having is from another demon that's close by? Might it have somehow recognized my presence? Not likely, as even the first demon didn't know I was anything other than a man until I let it out.

These people wanted Noriko specifically. Has she increased in strength enough they can sense her? I'll have to see if I can sense her in that way, but another time. The final boast of my death has been given and a hardened tip is headed my way again, and I look defenseless.

Izark's fight is very strange, what I can get of it, which is mostly the bragging of the woman. "My fabric moves to my will. I can make it sticky, or hard as steel." I dodge a half-hearted blow, since they seem to not want me dead, and slide my knife up the blade to nick the hand of the man holding the sword so that he jumps back swearing and holding his hand to his chest.

Her voice making too much noise, says, "Ha ha, I've got you now!" I don't bother panicking. That's usually the last thing said before Izark strikes.

I hear the ripping and shredding of fabric as all the men jump forward in response to her words. I can feel Barago resist me as I pull on his shirt as I lean out of the way of one grasping hand. The other grasping hand gets sliced deeply as I lash out.

The first man begins a swing. "Duck, Barago," I say and push him to turn him just enough so that the blade coming for his back swooshes past and tangles with a sword coming from the side front. His sword takes the one coming from his opposite side.

I call upon the first change's level of strength and just enough fire energy to flash-bake the fabric and burst out of the bindings around me. My sword slices through the hardened fabric with air energy again and I'm after the woman. "You said you'd answer my question if I defeated you, right?" She can't believe I escaped and is standing frozen. "I want those answers now."

I prepare an energy blow and send it after her with a swing of my sword. It cuts the fabric just before the cuffs of her sleeves and sends her flying back. I'll be able to reach her now, I hope. Surely it can't be infinitely long cloth. Her face full of fear, she turns to run.

"What do you want with Noriko!? Who is Lord Silent Mask?" I demand of her as I chase her. I prepare another energy attack.

She reaches to her chest and grabs the medallion she wears. "Lord Silent Mask, help me!" She blinks out of my vision. I can feel that she's completely gone.

"What!?" Barago yells behind me. I turn. The four men that he'd been protecting Noriko from are also gone, as are the two men I'd left on the ground.

The scene becomes silent where once was great noise. It's almost eerie. What kind of creature can give special powers to others and then transport them away so suddenly? I shiver and my back crawls. I clench my hand on the hilt of my sword to get it to stop and focus on Noriko, that she's still safe and we weren't taken.

It's very hard to fight my internal practice of fear, but I already have the practice of a strong will so I force it to come. By then I've already wrapped Noriko in my arms to hold her protectively, sorry I wasn't there with her when they appeared, sorry I wasn't carrying my sword to begin with, and most sorry that they escaped having seen us and me knowing almost nothing about them even still.

"What do you want with Noriko?" Izark yells. The men around us back off to take stock again.

"Who is Lord Silent Mask?" Izark's voice is a little farther away. He must be chasing the woman now. Smart woman to run.

The four men around Barago and I look at each other, worried, then suddenly disappear, as do the two injured ones from before.

We look around in surprise, the sudden quiet unsettling. Izark finds me quickly, wrapping me in his arms. I can feel his fear and worry and I look up into his face, just as worried. How did they know my name? Why did they come? ...And most worrisome of all, will they be back before we're gone from this place?

We head back to the house, watching carefully for more attackers, but nothing happens. Just as we reach the door, Agol comes galloping up, fear and worry on his face too. "Is every thing here okay?" he asks while still on horseback. Geena has her face buried in his jacket and is trembling.

Noriko puts her hand on Geena's knee, concerned for her. Agol continues, "When we talked to the landlady she said some people had come looking for us and she told them how to find us. When Geena used her sight to see who it was, she suddenly became very afraid and said she saw monsters. We've come right back."

"Geena, come here," Noriko says gently. "We're okay. Izark chased off the strong one and Barago and I kept the others at bay long enough for us to stay safe." Geena slips off the horse into Noriko's arms and buries her head in Noriko's shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to see something so scary. Don't look again, okay?" Geena nods.

"Was it really monsters?" Agol asks in surprise.

Barago and I deny it. "It was men, six of them, but Izark took out two early, and a woman with really strange powers." 

I frown. "She said that a ‘Lord Silent Mask' had sent them to take Noriko, but that's all we know."

We pack everything that evening, even going so far as to load it in the wagon. After dinner, we look at each other, uncomfortable. While we would stay for the sake of Noriko and Geena, I'm not the only one who feels we should be on the move sooner than later. They know where we are and night raids are common. All they have to do is bring more men than we can handle and overwhelm us -- or have me give us away entirely trying to keep Noriko safe.

Noriko takes Geena's hand. "We would also be more comfortable sleeping outside somewhere not here. Even if they were to not come, none of us would get a good night's sleep, I think, if we stay. Let's go as far as we can on our way."

Geena nods. "I think so too. We've been sleeping outside a lot. It's easier to do that than be afraid." We leave the house clean, with a thank you note and a bouquet of flowers.

I put my bed close to Noriko this night, still concerned about the trouble we've suddenly had, and we men set night watches. I can feel the same sort of feeling I felt before when Irktule had damaged the demon of the White Mist Forest and it was waiting to attack. I do believe that this is another one, perhaps even a stronger one, and it wants Noriko and is unhappy I prevented a simple solution to that desire.

I walk a safe distance from the camp while Agol takes the first watch and try to relax enough to sense what that demon might be sensing to even know about Noriko. I fall immediately into the warmth that is her in that place in my heart where I'm connected to her.

I realize that it's not just that I stand with her. I'm already connected to her. Unless that demon can tell that she is warm and good, the antithesis of what demons eat, then I can't know what it senses no matter what I try.

I suppose the destruction of something that's a strong force for good in this world could give a demon strength, but keeping Noriko alive to have even one moment of talking to it would make it dissolve into nothingness. She would logically convince it that it was pointless to live, and then she would wash it away with her tears. I sigh to myself and return to the camp to sit by her side on my bed.

I try to distract myself by learning the energy of water. It's smooth and inexorable. It's also like earth, but it's like air. Mist rises up gently, rains fall gently, and clouds form in the air. Playing with water energy is nicely calming, but tiring. It's heavy like earth but not quite so much. I'll probably stick to clouds in the main. The wind likes to tease them, after all, herding them along through the sky.

Chapter Text

Hearing Noriko's calm lecture, having her kind faith, practicing in peaceful solitude -- they haven't really prepared me for the reality of facing the fear within me. It's such a large part of who I am. I've lived afraid of myself for my whole life, and afraid of others just as long. This is the first time I've trusted anyone like this.

Even on the caravans I kept to myself and was at best ignored save when the owners needed to give me instructions -- until Gaya. She forced herself on me, and proved herself to me, but not enough to tell her my secrets.

I couldn't even tell Noriko those secrets tied to that deep, dark, and looming fear. That part of me is still trying to adjust to the fact she does know and doesn't run screaming and fainting. I think that's one of the reasons I would like for us to be on the road again alone, so that part of me can really ‘experiment' with what it means for her to walk with me so calmly. Then it might settle better.

Still, I practice. I have to practice. I can't allow that level of demon form out again. It's too painful, and too frightening to think of what it can do if I can't control it. If it can pull small mountains down, it can destroy cities, not just men who anger me. I'm practicing it even as I drive the wagon into the capital city of Guzena: Selena. Noriko finally has the opportunity to see one of our capital cities and it looks like she approves.

I'm practicing because I'm practicing not killing Banadam. Anger's just about as hard to control as fear, so I figure the practice for one is the practice for the other. He and Gaya were waiting for us on the road outside Selena, having been sent there by Gaya's sister, Zena, who is a strong seer. Geena had told us they would be meeting us, so we weren't surprised. 

It turned out Banadam had asked to escort Gaya not just because they are of the same tribe and to politely keep her company, but because he wanted to see Noriko first thing. He was overly familiar in his greeting of her, and he ignored the rest of us. She was pointedly disinterested in having such direct attention, but he refused to open his eyes to her desires, only assuming his were sufficient.

I glared at him, trying to get him to see better, but he only glared back, as if to declare war with me. He doesn't understand what he's engaged in battle, and I'm not the worst of his opponents. Even I won't push Noriko. Women are formidable. She is impossible and terrifying when angry. A soft and cute small creature that bites without warning and no one will believe it was that creature that attacked you to give such a wound.

So, I'm practicing and trying to remember that she'll defend herself sufficiently in this matter. If I step in the way, I'll only cause sharp things to fly at me. However, I reserve the right still to become her defender, as that is my proper role.

Gaya has me stop the wagon outside a house in the middle of the city, not too far from the temple and government complex. She told us while we waited during Noriko's early recovery that Zena had been the seer for the king before one of the evil ministers, Wazalotte, brought a beautiful seer named Tazasheena into the court. The weak-willed king had been bedazzled and fallen for her, and replaced Zena with the new seer.

Since then things have been hard for Zena. It's obvious that means in bad ways, because the broken windows on her house haven't been replaced. Gaya says they're broken every time they're repaired so they've simply stopped repairing them. It's a sad state for things to be in such that Zena can't even get simple and proper redress for such uncivilized behavior against her.

Gaya leads us into the house, which is opulent enough to still show the level of respect Zena was once held in. We reach the door into the main sitting room and there is Duke Jeida, his sons, two young ladies, and Gaya, sitting in a large upholstered chair.

"Twins, Izark!" Noriko whispers to me, excited, since Gaya hadn't warned us. I place my hand on her back to calm her at least a little. We are guests here. She takes my arm, as she'll do when she's excited but entering a new situation, a little unsure how to face it so letting me guide her.

I'm relieved the sisters dress differently and smell different. I won't have to rely on eyesight only to tell them apart. Gaya is a warrior and smells of the strength of one. Zena is the weaker of the two, her strength being an internal one. I wonder just how strong she is, since I've only ever talked to one strong seer before. Could she see things others haven't been able to?

"Sis. Hey. What's wrong? You look in a daze." Gaya is getting Zena's attention, wanting to introduce us properly, but Zena's been staring at us, or off into space, since we walked in. I'm not sure it's a good idea to interrupt if she's seeing something. I've heard that can hurt seers.

Zena blinks. "Wh-what?" She looks around. Then rather sadly says, "It's gone."

"What? What's gone?" Sometimes Gaya is slow. Obviously it's the vision Zena was seeing that's gone.

"The room was filled with light," Zena spreads her arms wide and looks around with a peaceful expression on her face, as if she would bask in the light she mentions. I freeze slightly. That's what it feels like to be with Noriko. Was she seeing what Silent Mask can feel? She was staring at us.

"I'll bet you were dreaming of food again," Gaya scolds Zena. "You're often falling asleep with your eyes wide open." I want to face palm. Her own sister and she has no idea what it's like to be a seer. Even I learned it just talking to them in taverns.

"Sorry everybody," Gaya says to the rest of us. "My sister's been stressed recently so...."

"That's okay," Banadam says. "Maybe it would be too much for Zena to investigate Noriko's situation now."

"Of - of course. Not now. No reason to rush," Noriko says, somewhat embarrassed to be singled out. We discussed on our way into town that Zena might look into who attacked us and who sent them, but it certainly didn't need to be mentioned in that way before introductions are even properly begun.

"Investigate what?" Rontarna asks.

Gaya answers, "Noriko was attacked by strangers before her group left the village. So I wanted my sister to find out who they were. But we'll do it later. Zena looks too tired for that."

"No!" Zena's hands bang down on the arms of her chair, startling Noriko, who grips my arm a little tighter. She's too uncertain in this place with people she doesn't know. I'm starting to feel that way myself, just a little. Things generally feel off in the room. I do have to wonder if there's a little sibling battle going on, though. If Zena is never quite understood by Gaya, then she may feel she has to always fight to be seen. "I'll do it!"

Gaya argues with her and Zena argues back that she's just fine, not helping either Noriko or me. We back off as she approaches with firm footsteps. Like Gaya, she has little comprehension of the finer social niceties, I decide. She grabs for Noriko's hand. Oddly, she then grabs for mine. Didn't she understand what we were asking for? The reading shouldn't need to include me, which is likely to warp the answer.

"Mmm... what is this?" Zena is confused. "The image is so chaotic I can't make any sense of it." As I thought adding me is problematic. I try to get my hand free, but she has a very firm grip on it. "Yes, I should be able to...," she mutters, "if I concentrate harder, I might be able to understand what this means." That won't help, unless she's a very strong seer. She suddenly freezes, then a soft, "Aww," comes from her lips. "It exploded." She slumps, dejected.

"What, you mean that thing that would happen when we were kids? When you pushed too hard and everything would go blank?" Gaya asks, worried.

"Yeah." Zena lets our hands go and Noriko hides behind me just a little, holding my jacket again. I reach back and take her hand in mine and hold on to her hand tightly as well, but behind me so the others can't see it so easily.

I'm somewhat disappointed Zena wasn't strong enough to see anything either, since it was the same for all the other seers, except this was the first one who went so far as to explode her vision. At the same time I'm glad she didn't see anything other than that. Our futures are still not set in stone, and she could see the light Noriko brings with her. Both things are relieving.

"Does that mean she won't be able to see what might be attacking Noriko, to use her powers?" Barago asks.

"Here, use me as a test case to see if it's really gone," Agol offers. His daughter is a seer so he has a better understanding of what they go through. 

Zena tries, but can't see anything. "I'm sorry. But it will come back, maybe tomorrow, maybe the next. I just need time to recover." She's trying to apologize and reassure us.

"Does it mean Noriko's attackers are too strong?" Gaya asks.

"Ah, sorry, it's probably our fault," Rontarna says, rubbing the back of his head. "We pressed Zena to examine a romantic relationship even though she insisted that wasn't her specialty."

"Ah! Shut up, Rontarna!" Koriki grabs Rontarna. "That's supposed to be a secret! "

"I didn't say anything about Izark or Noriko!" Rontarna protests. 

"Idiot! You just did!" Koriki hits Rontarna over the head and they start fighting.

Noriko is gripping my hand so tightly that I'm caught between blowing up the room and trying to calm her down. She might blow it up first, or fill it with fire. I might survive that option.

The room is blowing up just fine with us not saying anything, but it's only making it worse to have the words continue to fly from person to person. I hear the words that they asked because Banadam likes Noriko so much they wanted to know if he had any hope. He blushes so red he's the one in flames and he scolds them loudly. Noriko's hand is very hot in my hand and I'm quite sure she's also blushing and wishing to melt into the ground. This has gone on long enough.

"Um, everyone, please let's calm down." Duke Jeida has stepped in to be the water on the flames. He manages to soothe things over enough that everyone relaxes and apologizes. 

Now that it's calm enough she can be heard, Noriko lets go of my hand and steps forward. Shame is on most faces as they have to face the person they've injured. "Everyone, excuse me, please. I'm sorry. I thought I had said it clearly before. I am Izark's." She bows a small but polite bow and steps back to my side.

I keep as neutral a face as possible. I hadn't expected such a declaration to come from her mouth, although I should expect it, I suppose. It echos the role of servant she's played before. We both know that we can't afford to be separated, nor would we willing stay apart. It's a sufficient response.

For those who believe we're romantically tied, or might be, it also answers to their questions -- however they wish to interpret it. For it to come out of her mouth as an apology makes those who are feeling ashamed feel it even more. She's effectively shown how exact and harsh her scolds are.

The two young ladies in the room invite everyone in to dinner, and everyone is relieved to have the distraction. By mutual consent Noriko and I hold back, letting the others go before us. We need to recover somewhat after that disturbing chaos.

The dinner conversation surrounds the political climate of the city and country, which is degenerating similar to Zago as the ministers take more and more power because the king won't prevent them from doing so. Many of the good ministers have been ousted already.

Duke Jeida and his sons are staying at a farm outside of town, working for the farmer there. He and I speak on other topics after dinner until they have to return. I think he's helping me to finish calming back down, which I appreciate. I'm apparently the only one who can have a decent conversation with him of the younger generation. Agol joins in and Noriko listens closely when the girls don't have her distracted. Then it's time for the de Gilenees to leave.

Zena takes us out into the garden to sit in the fresh air. She has a gazebo there that fits us nicely. The atmosphere is nice, until Banadam catches my eye. He isn't looking at Noriko this time. This time his eyes glare at me. I'm done with hiding from him. I fold my arms and narrow my eyes at him, letting just a little bit of the demon out. That was too much, to put Noriko into such a position, and he needs to know that he needs to step out.

When his eyes go to Noriko as his only defense, I lightly put my hand on her back and invite her to sit, then sit next to her close enough to claim her. She's already comfortable with that distance from before, and after the attention today it makes her relax to have me that close. Banadam turns away to lean against the post of the entrance he was standing in and fold his arms to pout. He looks like he's thinking of what plan he can devise. I ignore him from then on.

"Zena, can I help you?" I ask her. I'd like to know what she wants to do next. If she'd like help with the thugs bothering her, I could help with that.

"Oh, that's right," Barago perks up. He understands my intention quickly, having been one of those thugs long enough himself. "Agol and I are good fighters, but not as good as Izark. We could all help you."

Zena smiles. "Gaya told me about you guys. Thanks for offering to help. Actually, I read my own fate when the bad stuff started. The answer I got was that I should just be patient for now, and wait it out. So while I've been waiting it out I've been thinking.

"I thought about the things that troubled me in the past when I first learned I was a seer. I thought about my powers. I asked myself why I could see the future. Then I started to wonder what exactly the future is. I wondered if it's what we call destiny? And if so, does that mean our destiny is determined at birth and all we do is follow the path that fate has decided for us? I asked myself this question over and over."

"I remember you used to ask that question when we were young," Gaya comments.

"That's right," Zena agrees. "As I grew older, however, I decided that wasn't the way things were. I decided that the future I see is just a ‘place'. A ‘place' we can go to. But we can all decide what to think and do when we get to that place. Depending on your choices, you can make your own fate. So I decided we determine our own future after all.

"Since I've been under such stress I've been wondering, if there is such a thing as destiny, could destiny be the goal that we pursue at that ‘place'? If what we do is up to us, not predetermined, maybe when we get to that ‘place', we find our mission waiting for us."

Zena smiles a big smile. "While I was wondering about all that stuff, Gaya and her friends came and now you guys have arrived. After Gaya arrived, I knew what I could do now: journey."

"Journey?" Agol asks.

"Yes. Grand Duke Jeida and I discussed it. I'll use my abilities as a seer and go on a journey to find the missing ministers. After all, I'm no longer employed by the state to take up all my time, so I can go wherever I want and do whatever I want." She smiles, not concerned about her unemployment.

Her enthusiasm rises as she finishes telling us her plans. "Other countries have troubles, too. In the midst of this turmoil, many good influential people everywhere have disappeared. I want to find them and help them find each other. Will you guys come with me?"

I've heard words that I needed to hear, that have stopped me from moving forward myself for just a moment as they fall into me. Zena has spoken from the years of experiences she's had in seeing for herself and other people, and then seeing what results from those visions of the future. Her words carry much weight with me. It's what I needed to hear at this point in my life: the reassurance that I can choose where I am in the end, who I am, and what I am.

The silence as I assimilate her words goes on long enough she says, "Think about it. It's up to you. Take your time. Anyway, we haven't solved Noriko's problem yet."

"Sounds interesting," Barago says. "More interesting than licking Nada's boots."

Agol moves to put his hand on his daughter. He has her to think about, too. I'm sure he's concerned about all the traveling, but she's held up well so far. His question startles me. "What do you think about the Sky Demon and the Awakening?"

Zena turns to him thoughtfully. "Well..., they sound scary, don't they? I have no idea what or where they might be. Nor do we really know what they will become and what they'll do in this world. Those predictions definitely bother me. But as I said, the future can be changed. I don't believe in unyielding fate. So, no matter how minor they may be, solving the problems that lie in my path will be my mission."

Like Noriko, Zena also believes it might be possible for me to change my fate, to change the destiny that awaits me. It's added to the knowledge Noriko has given me. It will take likely several weeks for me to come to terms with the idea, but it's another tug on the lead to turn me to believe that it might be possible.

I don't commit tonight. It's a worthy goal, but I need time to think about where to go from here, and Zena is right. We need to focus on keeping Noriko safe from the current threat.

Izark is looking stunned, just before he collapses to the ground. That is my first sight of the morning after we've arrived at Gaya's sister's house.

Zena had welcomed us, if a little oddly at first, and had corroborated my theories of how destiny works and even that the destiny of the Awakening and the Sky Demon were not necessarily set in stone. I thought we were doing well, but the other man, standing next to Izark and looking confused at Izark's sudden weakness, has been a thorn in my side since we arrived and I have just about had it with him.

"Izark, is it the weakness again?" I head over to help him.

He turns away and harshly says, "I don't need your help." He's as angry this time as at the time at Calco. I back off. I don't understand, and even Gaya is looking surprised at his reaction. Izark manages to rise and allows Gaya to help him into the house to rest in his room.

"Noriko...," Banadam begins. I turn my back on him and follow the others back into the house. The man has gone too far and he doesn't need to see my tears of pain and frustration.

It started when we met up with Gaya to be brought into town. Banadam had come with her and the first thing he does is come running up to the side of the wagon, where I'm sitting. "Hey, Noriko, I've missed you."

Why am I the first, and only one he greets? Really, Banadam? Right in front of Izark, too. You've gotten bold with the relationship in your head. "Hello, Banadam. It will be nice to have the whole family back together again, won't it?" I deliberately misunderstood cheerfully, trying to get his head screwed back on straight.

It didn't work. "No, I mean I've missed you."

I raised my eyebrow. "Why? I'm not the only flower in the city, surely." Barago and Agol saved the moment by interrupting with the story of the attack the day we left.

It turns out Gaya and her sister, Zena, are identical twins. Waiting for us with Zena were Grand Duke Jeida, who I was happy to see, and his sons, Rontarna and Koriki. We were also introduced to two young women close to my age, Rottenina and Anita, Zena's adopted daughters and assistants.

I couldn't help but think, Did Banadam miss me because it was two females to three males? Now it's three females to four males, and I'm already Izark's, so he's still odd man out. When I learned that he's been staying at the house as a guard while Duke Jeida and his sons are hiding at a farm outside town, that made it worse. He could have been flirting with two eligibles, and all he can do is flirt with the image in his head. I really wish he'd quit doing it.

Then Miss Zena decided to oddly try to understand Izark's and my relationship, which apparently seers can't do anyway. That opened up a large embarrassing mess that we almost couldn't recover from. Rontarna and Koriki admitted they'd been pressuring her to do it, and the girls -- being girls -- had wanted to know too, because apparently everyone knew Banadam was interested in me. He'd been mortified and I'd been horrified.

The only thing I could think to do was protect my relationship with Izark as I already had before. I politely got everyone's attention, then said, "I'm sorry. I thought I had said it clearly before. I am Izark's."

I'd hoped that would be the end of it, but after dinner and discussing the current political environment of Guzena, the men and women split up to prepare for bed. Banadam cornered me and apologized for the fiasco, then openly admitted that he liked me and was interested. As I tried to put my thoughts into polite words, he said, "I don't understand how you can put up with his coldness towards you."

I wanted to know what universe he was from. "Banadam, perhaps it looks like coldness from your viewpoint, but what I see is very different. Izark has already clearly told me his feelings. Thank you for thinking of me, but I am his. I cannot return your feelings."

Banadam had looked at me, then been his usual blunt and tactless self. "Gaya says that you told her you are his servant. That is not the same. I want to know if you can love me, if I can find a place in your heart. It is possible, if you wanted to, to both love me and still be Izark's servant." It was as if he was trying to help clear up a translation misunderstanding.

I had somewhat coldly told him, "No, Banadam. It is not possible. I'm sorry." I'd left him there in the hall, escaping to my room. I couldn't face having a similar interaction with the girls. I'm sure they're nice, but they'd already expressed too much interest in the same topic. It was surely going to come up if I went to Zena's room to chat. I just couldn't last night.

I'm rooming with Barago. Zena was wealthy enough that she has many bedrooms in this house. It isn't the largest in the city, but it's still very nice. The beds were comfortable, but I feel like, as I rise from mine, that I slept worse than I have the whole time we were at the rental house.

I leave the bedroom quietly. I've risen before anyone else. The garden is cool and comforting this morning with birds and insects calling their morning songs. I wander slowly, tired and listless.

A footstep sounds at the entrance to the garden from the house and I turn. My face goes sour. Banadam has arrived and is unwelcome, but it isn't my home to tell him to come or go. I turn away and ignore him. "You're up early," he comments.

I think about not answering, but practice, and say, "You, too," continuing my slow walk.

His dense head doesn't understand and I hear him walking my way, though not stridently. "I didn't think anyone else would be awake."

"Everyone else is still sleeping," I inform him, since I know.

"I see. Then this is a good time." I pause and turn to look at Banadam over my shoulder. What's he planning now? He turns to look into my eyes. "I wanted to talk to you about something. I guess you already know, but I ...love Noriko." I can't help but turn to him, my eyes widening that he would so openly come to talk to me about this.

"I confessed my feelings to her last night, but she said that it isn't possible for her to return my feelings. Do you prevent her from seeking a husband because she's to serve only you as your servant? That seems rather cruel to me. I would like to change your mind, and ask you to allow me to seek her hand."

My disbelief that I'm in this situation, hearing these things, is large. I address the issue that irritates me first. "Noriko isn't my servant. She may choose anything she wishes to choose. If she's chosen to follow me, and to forego any romantic interests, then it isn't my place to say otherwise."

Banadam looks confused. "She isn't? She told Gaya she was."

I shake my head. "What need does a wandering swordsman have for a servant? I saved her life and she had no money to pay. Perhaps she was trying to explain how she wanted to repay me? I don't know. She still couldn't say some of the things she wanted to say well, when I left her with Gaya."

Banadam rubs his head, trying to put my perspective in with everything else strange he has in his head. "So, then, you won't mind if I try to win her hand?"

I turn away from him. "It doesn't matter what I want. You need to open your eyes better or she'll scratch them out for you, Banadam. If she's already told you she won't return your feelings, you'll only make her angry to continue."

Banadam is suddenly angry. "Why do you say that? Noriko is kind and gentle, with great respect for others. To say she will attack me...." He suddenly stops, then says, as if he's had the sun come out, "You... you love her. You don't want me to try because I'll be a rival!" he accuses me. While it angers me that he says it, inside I want to spitefully tease him that he's so late for dinner he's missed breakfast.

Then he's confused again. "If you love her, why haven't you said anything? She's willing to stay with you already. Surely she would accept you, if she desires you that much."

I turn to Banadam in shock. "You haven't been listening at all, Banadam!" I scold loudly, losing my patience with the man. "Noriko's already chosen what she'll do, and she's already told you what her intentions towards you are. Leave her alone!!"

His eyes are wide, then he points at me. "You've already told her? And she ...rejected you?" He goes angry again, "Then why do you make her stay with you?" I want to slit the man's throat. He constantly chooses to warp words the way he wants to hear them, and none of them are right.

I'm suddenly feeling a thing I don't want to feel. My legs give out and I collapse to sit down hard on the ground. My muscles are shivering and I can barely stay upright. Everything is beginning to not work, and the world around me goes hazy.

I only focus on breathing for now. I need to get back to my bed, and this was bad timing. I don't need to show weakness before Banadam, and Noriko is still in danger. If it is a demon I'll be needed to protect her. It's too soon, too close, too unexpected, like the other times since I left Noriko at Gaya's, then was with her again.

I don't understand. Did the adrenaline enter my system because I was arguing with Banadam, or is it something else? What causes the weakness? I thought it was the overuse of energy, but I haven't used hardly any, except against that woman, and that was very minor. Is it a difference because of the newest physical change? That frightens me.

"Izark!" I hear Noriko's feet and turn away.

"I don't need help!" I scold her loudly. I don't want her to keep acting the servant, and I don't need Banadam to add more strange things to his head. 

Painfully I push up to my feet. I'm caught by sturdy hands, Gaya's hands. "What is it, Izark?"

"He gets this way sometimes," Noriko explains. "He needs to rest for a few days. Can you please help him get to his bed?"

Gaya helps me walk back into the house and to my room. I can barely see, hear, or function. But I wish I hadn't said that to Noriko. I do need her help. I need to understand why this happens. But it's too late to ask it now, or hear the answer. I need to sleep first.

And now I've woken up to this: Izark's raised voice in the garden, seeing him collapse in weakness from the built-up fatigue again (I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier), having him be angry with me, and seeing Banadam in the middle of it all again. I want to throw things and scream in frustration or anger, I'm not sure which.

I walk to stand outside the door to the room Izark and Barago are sleeping in. Gaya comes out and says he's asked to just be allowed to rest. I nod. He should. That's all that helps.

I follow Gaya out ...well, actually she's shepherding me, worried about me. "Why don't we make something for him to eat, to help him regain his strength?"

"No, thank you, Aunt Gaya. He won't eat until he recovers. I've already nursed him once through this. Please do not waste food." She stares at me. I look calmly back, then bow and take myself off to the sitting room, to curl up under a window in a settee, and gaze glumly out the window.

"Noriko." I tense up. I think if I have to talk to this person one more time I'm going to scream, but when I turn to look at him, there are others in the room as well. I bite my tongue hard and wait.

"I'm sorry if I made Izark collapse by putting too much stress on him, and I'll apologize to him when he recovers, but I don't understand. When I asked Izark if I could have his permission to seek your heart, if I could try, he said that he does not own you. That you're able to make your own choice in the matter, and that you had not chosen to respond to him either." Banadam frowns and I grow cold. "Is it you that is cold to Izark, to me? There are those who would care for you, if you would let them."

I take a silent deep breath. "Banadam, my relationship with Izark is none of your business from the start, and I will not explain it to you. Please let it be sufficient that I will not leave him."

He won't relent, "But if you don't love him, then why can't I try to make you look my way?"

I rise from the settee and my face is set in stone. I look directly in his eyes. "Who ever said that I don't love Izark? Leave it alone, Banadam. There are things you do not know, that are not yours to know."

I turn to leave this room, unable to bear it any more, when there's an explosion at the front entry to the house. Already on the move, the sound, and the memory that someone wants me, propels me away from the direction of the sound and towards escape.

A second explosion at the wall closest to the entry sends pieces of wall flying everywhere. There is chaos as swords are drawn and words are yelled. I put on more speed, but before I can do more than get a few steps outside the room, I'm grabbed up, bound by fabric wrapped around me.

"Argh!" I yell, letting out all my frustration in the one sound, and I can't keep from swearing a few choice words. My struggles to free myself are in vain. As I'm drawn back into the main room, I see Izark and Barago leaving their room. At Izark's panicked look, I can only yell, "I'm sorry, Izark!"

I'm sorry I couldn't protect myself well enough to let you rest to get well. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you well enough, either. I'm sorry that I don't have the power to get myself free so you don't have to protect me. I'm sorry that Banadam is being so difficult. I'm sorry I can't answer your feelings the way I want to. These words are all within those few words I did manage to get out, and echo in my head as I'm dragged into the main room and handed off to a strong man who easily carries me at a run out of the house and puts me, still bound, on the back of a horse.

As we run, to who knows where, I look at my captors. There are four men, but not the woman who bound me in her cloth ribbons. She stayed behind. "Izark, are you okay? Please stay okay. I'm sorry." There's no answer. If it hadn't been for the panic on Izark's face, I would say he's still angry with me.

I try a second time, then give up. Either he's fighting for his life and I'm dangerously distracting him, or he's actively blocking me from getting through. I hope it isn't the first, but the thought of the second depresses me.

Chapter Text

The pain in my heart as I lean against the door frame into the sitting room and watch Noriko being carried out of a hole in the wall on the opposite side of the room is so great I can hardly stand it. But then, I can hardly stand to begin with.

The explosions pulled me out of bed, sword in hand, Barago following me, but there was not just one woman with special powers, who's still here to keep me occupied because she has a vendetta, but four other men also with differing special powers. The rest of our companions managed to stay alive, but they couldn't prevent what's happened.

Once again cloth is headed my way. Once again, as in Calco, I manage to dodge and cut them, but collapse. The pattern is repeated over and over. I manage to fight half-way across the room, as if a stumbling drunk holding a sword. My ultimate goal is Noriko, of course, no matter how far she is from me at the moment. The woman is irrelevant....until searing pain goes through my upper left arm and the entirety of everything below that line falls to the ground. 

I scream at the pain and grab my shoulder. The blood pours out of the cut arm. I'm in shock, but somehow through the pain, the mental confusion, and the worry, I hear the woman say, "...Cutting off your arm wasn't enough. Once we squeeze the blood out of that girl and offer it to Lord Silent Mask he'll reward us...."

The shock to my system of those words is even more than all the others combined since the explosions, and all this on top of Banadam this morning. Blood...out of? Offer? The power within me escapes and sparks around the room. It starts with a single small spark that doesn't let the woman leave the room out through the door she was headed for. As the words sink in, the sparks explode out more and more and it almost hurts more to keep them in than let them out.

They can't! I reach down and grab my arm from the floor and set it, then push it up onto the stump of my arm. The pain returns and I cry out again. The reactions of the body aren't things I'm paying attention to, though. I press my arm into place and let the power out. The power is part of what heals me quickly and I need to get to Noriko, now!

Everyone in the room is crying out and cowering as the sparks increase in intensity and the woman is panicking. I can feel her fear rising at the same time as my hair begins to change color. Somehow I manage to hold the power level there as the power of rage surges through me and I can't care. My fear for Noriko is greater than my fear of what others see, and honestly, I'm still lost in the mental fog of my ailment.

My healing arm flexes with a reflexive jerk, then the hand turns into a claw to match the level of power I'm holding, raging inside of me and outside as the power still sparks around the room. Perhaps I'm holding at this level because the rest is leaking out. I can't spare any mental power to think about it.

I'm finally able to raise my arm and move it, settling it back into place. I clench my fist, then my eyes are on the woman, still standing in the doorway, staring at me in horror. She flinches from the teeth, eyes, ears, everything that is me when I'm at this level, then she screams, "He-he's a monster!" and darts away.

I'm after her immediately, leaping out the door to land on the wall. I push off and each step is a bound that takes me five times as far as a step of a man. I'm pushing her. I want her to lead me to Noriko and her nest of men who need to die.

She's on her horse by the time I make it out the front door. She lashes it harshly and it's running as fast as it can. It smells me and wants to be away as much as she does. I leap to the roofs, very tall in this city, and then from roof to roof, following her from there so that the horse doesn't smell me.

She leaves the narrow street for a broader way. She's headed for the center of the city and the buildings set on high hills. I leap down to the street and continue to follow her, but I hear my name. I look back and it's Banadam. He isn't who I need. I turn back to my quarry, tracing her path, returning to the roofs as soon as I can. I don't need more people seeing me. That will bring more delays.

At one point I do pause to breathe and confirm the building the woman is headed for. I try to reach for Noriko, calling for her desperately, but I can hear no reply and can't feel anything but the rage and fear. It pushes me onward more desperately. I must get to her!

We've arrived outside an ornate building set up on a little rise, surrounded by tended woods and gardens. This is either a government center, or a part of a palace, it seems to me, but I don't know yet about such places in this world. The men aren't allowed to go past the main entry, and the men they hand me off to explain that this is a holy place and they are taking me to the shrine. It would be nice to get the translation of those words. 

I carefully memorize the route. I'll need to get back out again. I try talking to Izark again, but again I'm rejected. It hurts, to think that because I cannot accept his love yet, he will be angry and reject me instead. At the same time I know it's my own fault because I haven't been able to say anything. I try again, just in case he is listening but not answering. "Izark, I'm sorry I can't trust my heart right now. Please don't be angry with me."

Double doors are opened for me and my guards. I'm escorted into a large round room held up by pillars. The floor is bare earth with a pool of what looks like water in the middle. Waiting for me are a well-dressed man and a very beautiful woman.

I get suspicious which bears fruit as soon as they begin to talk about me as if I'm not there, or property of some kind. Already angry, my temper flares quickly. "What kind of rational reasoning person kidnaps a person in broad daylight, destroying private property and injuring innocent civilians?

"Most intelligent politicians would have extended a polite invitation and performed the kidnapping in secret once the person was in their office and out of the public eye. I can't imagine a less brilliantly planned or executed kidnapping. Did Miss Tazasheena pretend to see such a plan for you, Minister Wazalotte, or were you the less than brilliant mastermind behind it?" I've stunned them speechless. "I don't know why you've brought me here without my permission, but you won't be keeping me."

Tazasheena recovers first, laughing a horrible laugh that might match her blond flowing locks but certainly doesn't do her looks any favors. It's a learned, affected laugh. Maybe it gets men here in this world when her looks aren't enough. In my book it would be the first turn-off. Wazalotte has a gleam in his eye. "Are you sure we have to give this one?"

I stand amazed at him as Tazasheena asks if I'm his type. "Really?" I ask. "You're an [M]?" He looks confused, of course. I decide to give him more of what he's asked for. "Minister Wazalotte, you aren't worth my time." I turn and ignore him for the rest of the exchange. "Miss Tazasheena, I don't know what you think you saw in your divining, but you have made a grave error. Your life has just been marked."

She smirks at me. "You're brave for someone about to die." She pulls a sword from its sheath in the hands of another man dressed the same as my guards. She turns to the pond. "Lord Silent Mask, the sacrifice you have been waiting for is finally here."

The pond is still, then begins to bubble until a pillar of water rises up. There's a mask on the top front of the column of water in front of me. Shades of the Zelda Water Temple! I look for the ‘eye' to hook shot, then wonder if the mask counts.

"Is that a demon?" I ask.

Tazasheena looks at me, her eyes glinting with pride. "Yes, and when we give him your blood, he will make us all stronger."

"Hmm," I purse my lips. "No, I don't think that's how it works." There's a distant thud! I know what it is. I hope I can get out of here to save Izark before it's too late.

"Lord Silent Mask," I call, "if you are the one who requested me, then you will pay the price. If Tazasheena picked me for you, please be sure she pays the price for her error."

The woman jumps off her horse at the door to an opulent building, likely a temple. She runs through the door, slamming it shut behind her. I can hear a bar being slid across it as I reach it, close behind her. I keep moving, running into the door with my shoulder.

The impact echoes through the room beyond the door loudly enough I can hear it outside. One fist surrounded with power and an energy shield hits the center of the door. The door buckles. The other fist hits the same place the same way and the door and the bolt give way.

I push the doors open with both hands and walk through, glaring at the men in the room arrayed to face me. The woman backs up and flees to the back of the group. The two temple guards, holding spears, shiver then run. Nine men remain to face me, but they don't have Noriko with them. Her scent passes on through the next set of doors.

I run towards them and they run to meet me. I leap over them, intent on stopping the deed that's planned. I'm trapped by a whip that has lashed around my ankle and I fall to the ground. I'm immediately up and spinning around on my hands so that the man holding on to the whip is flying through the air crashing into all of the other men in the room. He lets go of the whip and flies through the air to crash into the wall some distance away.

I'm up on my feet again instantly and kicking the whip off my foot, looking for the door Noriko was taken through. "We can get him!" They're talking themselves up, and they talk about the increase of power they'll receive for killing one human girl who isn't theirs to kill. They come at me again, weapons raised. "Die, monster! The girl is ours!"

"don't be ridiculous!" The power of the anger at their presumption rises in me and my forehead splits. I barely notice. The power explodes out from me and blows them back and shakes the whole building. I suddenly feel the demon farther back in the building as it reacts to my power. I'd been hidden from it until that moment. I know where to go now.

A man runs into the room, distracting people. "Minister Wazalotte, a man followed the woman to the shrine, and has broken through both the gate and the main door -- while it was barred. The ten strong ones are fighting him, but he will not stay down. It is too dangerous for you to remain here."

Wazollete scares easily, apparently. "What?! Tazasheena, begin the ceremony at once!"

She turns to look at the demon. "I'm sorry. He's become too disturbed. We can't perform it now."

There's another explosion and it shakes even this room. The minister ducks in reaction. "Let me go," I say calmly. "If you continue to hold me, total destruction is all you will reap."

[No. You are mine. Your blood will be mine.] It's a watery voice in my head.

"No, Lord Silent Mask. You do not understand what a grave error you have made. Let me go and you may be allowed to live. Keep me and you will be destroyed. Already he has destroyed the demon in the white mist woods. Every demon that comes for me dies. Let me go."

The explosions are more frequent now. "Izark, I'm still alive. Please don't be afraid. I am here. I will come to you soon." This time it echoes back, and it worries me. If he's closed himself to me this much....

"I -- I feel amazing strength!" exults one of the men in the room.

"What is this?"

"Could it be...the girl has been sacrificed? Is this the strength we were promised?"

No. It can't be. I try to reach Noriko again, both with my mind and physically. Surely they can't have been this fast. Such things take ritual and time. Surely not?

I'm slammed with nine different attacks all at once, much stronger than what they'd been trying before. Stop! My frustration grows. Always! Always men make me push too hard to reach my goal of peaceful living! I move fast, faster than ever. My energy shield is almost impenetrable. I continue to head for my goal, ignoring them. Then suddenly I'm held fast. I can't move to dodge or reach my goal. "Out of my way!!" I cry, demanding the one thing I require from them. 

I'm not released and I feel the armor coming on me as my power increases again, the anger I feel at being held from the place I need to be bringing it on, and bringing enough power to break out of my unseen bonds. "I said -- Out of my way!!"

I send a wave of energy through the room and every man is lifted up and slammed hard into the walls of this large antechamber, large enough to hold the standing worshipers of the city in it. "get lost! all of you, out of here!" I will not stand for the delay any longer.

The energy explodes up also, blowing a hole in the roof of the building above me. The whole building shakes dangerously. The remainder of the roof over this room collapses down, falling on the men in the room, and even the woman where she was hiding. The life in this room is finally still and I'm satisfied.

I run forward again, now unrestrained from leaving this room, and enter the inner parts of the temple. My whole body throbs. I remember this pain brings something frightening, but not what. I'm focused only on getting to where I need to be.

Lord Silent Mask suddenly pulls out of the pond and smashes his way through the wall to head out into the corridor. Real smart, genius. Make it easier for the place to come down. Don't you even know what a door is? The humans are becoming more afraid, except I can tell Tazasheena is seeing. She has the look of one distracted by a television on her face.

I turn to the minister. "Wazalotte!" I use as commanding a voice as possible, "Let me go and you and your men may survive this. He will be content with only killing the demon, if I am returned."

He whines at me, "No. How will we get more power, then?"

I sneer at him. "You're going to lose all that you've already gained if you hold me. Lord Silent Mask won't be here to help you any more. I warned you already. You were duped. My death will only bring you cursings."

A large explosion makes up his mind. My guards themselves are going to make the decision for him. They're also afraid. I leap away immediately, running and shoving Tazasheena over to break her scrying, then I dash out the new ‘door' the demon made at his exit.

I round a corner, following the scent I'm locked onto, and am blocked again. This time by a swirling tower of water. I call up the wind to protect me, swirling around me, but I only want this thing out of my way. I call up the energy and blast at the water creature and it only separates it, then it coalesces again. I did damage, but it was very slight.

I dodge as it swirls up to entrap me. No matter what I try, it can't be harmed in any major way, and it's delaying me from my goal. I pause, watching it, trying to think, trying to understand how I can get it out of my way. It begins to spin, with a sharp point at the end of the spinning cyclone that darts forward quickly and slams into my chest, pinning me against the wall.

That's even more irritating, that it's pinned me. The spinning point does nothing to me. My energy shield can't be penetrated by the likes of this. However, it's now also pinned with me. I collect all of my power of anger, sorrow, irritation, and fear and push back against the point of the spinning water spout until it's far enough away from my core, then I send it all in one great explosive attack. The spinning water spout can't escape the power. I've penned it in with air the same as I penned in the first demon, locking it to the rock.

The majority of the water demon disappears. Some water splashes to the floor and I land on it, my feet snapping into their black scaled, clawed form. (My arms and hands had already changed as I attacked the demon.) I fall to a crouch, holding myself up with one hand.

The energy from the attack continues on, not slowed or abated by the destruction of the demon, and explodes out of the building having gone through a large number of rooms to get there. The building rocks and pieces of it start falling.

DESTRUCTION. It's the focus of my being, but somewhere, something inside cries out, No! Wrong!

DESTRUCTION. It throbs through me, demanding to be let out. Must stop. Will hurt....  (Hurt who? I've forgotten.)

The next throb is not a throb, but another tearing of even this scaled and armored body. From my back emerge two things and I can't hold back a cry of agony as I fall to my hands and knees, even already as mostly a demon. I feel them rise from my back and then expand. No! I beg, whimpering in that hidden place that's trying to stop this.

My wings flap down to rest at either side of me and power surges naturally with that simple motion, fleeing me to slam into every wall in either direction until it's released from the building. I can feel it continue onward and outward, unimpeded since this is the highest building in the area in those directions. It goes for miles and my crying heart sobs.

The next throb is a throb of pure pain. I'm a child on the floor in my home again, crying out in pain, wishing for anyone to help me, to make it stop. I hurt. ...Why does my heart hurt like this? I whimper it, cry it, wanting to understand, wishing for it to stop.

The building continues to rock with regular explosions, and given the low engineering level of construction in this world, the building is already crumbling in many places. I follow the map in my head, running as fast as I can for the pull that is Izark. I need to get to him to protect him and his goal. I made that promise.

I make it to the second, long inner hall and he is there, alone, curled up on his hands and knees, but it's a fourth-level change. He's everything that he was the night he changed coming out of the white mist woods, but he now has his wings. Blue-black like his scales and leathery.

It looks like I can take my pick of "demon" (which perhaps most would call him) or "dragon". I still like dragon better. It fits his personality best. I have a brief reaction that I'd love to fly in the sky with him, then repress it. I have a feeling he never wants to have this form come on him again.

Slowly some things come to me as I pant, waiting for the pain to calm. I was looking for something. ...I was searching for someone. ...What? What was I looking for? Who was I searching for? ...I don't know.

I can't see anything. ...This hurts so bad, I moan. This is killing me. A scream is ripped from me and I feel power leave my body to go slamming into the roof above me. It's both a relief from the pain, and causes more pain in my heart at the same time.

I sob inside, there on my hands and knees, and then...there's something different. Something coming towards me that my soul wants desperately. Sweet, warm, light, and somehow calling to me, desperately trying to reach my pained heart. I turn to look, trying to sit up slowly to see without harming. Someone is running towards me, through the darkness of this place I'm in and they're encircled in light.

"izark!" I know this voice. The light she brings with her is beginning to dissolve the darkness around me and with it I find some relief from the place I'm trapped inside. The memory of who this is tries very hard to break through, to come back to me. A name breaks through: No-ri-ko.

I can suddenly see my surroundings and the roof crumbling above her. I direct a small portion of my power at it, brushing it away so that it can't fall on what I protect. I keep her protected until she's near me. Then I'm afraid. No. I can't protect you from me. Don't come near, Noriko!

He has felt me, and is protecting me from falling debris even as I run towards him. I don't stop, but run right up to him and throw my arms around his neck and hold him to me tightly. "Izark, it's okay. I'm here. You are still beautiful. You are still kind. You are still Izark. You have protected me. It is enough."

She's already there, throwing her arms around my neck. The arms around me warm me, comfort me, push back the fear, anger, and other emotions with the peace and hope they hold in them. I want to hold her but I'm afraid of hurting her. I can only stand and sob inside in relief that she's alive, that she's come when no other person would come, and at the time I most desperately needed someone to come and help me not become the thing I don't want to become.

I soak up all the love Noriko's willing to give me, all the belief that I am good, that I can reverse this in the end. I'm desperate for those things to fill me. I want those things, not what I almost became, what I was almost lost to.

I can feel the wings receding quietly into my back. The hard scales lie back down and my claws recede. I'm able to breathe a little easier, the overwhelming power leaving me, too, as if the demon is slowly backing away, unable to continue to be destructive as long as love has me in her arms.

When I can breathe more normally, I know that my hair has changed back to black, my ears are no longer pointed, and my skin no longer scaled and black. The horn, too, recedes.

As I hold him, he begins to relax. As he relaxes, the demon form begins to fold back into his body. I take it as further evidence adrenaline has much to do with the changes. I hold him until he's able to hold me in his human arms again.

The first changes leave me, and I make sure I truly have human hands and arms and am amazed. The scales that were on my arms from when I was a child are even gone. I can finally hold Noriko, and I do so, tightly, but not too tightly. I bury my head in her neck, to hide from the destruction that's been left behind, although they brought it on themselves, yet again. I sorrow.

"Noriko," he says into my neck, where he has buried his head, "Noriko." He is shaking, shivering, his fear still present but no longer overwhelming him. I have become the security blanket for a man who does not want to become a demon, and my woman's heart knows only compassion.

I can only shiver and shake, my fear of what comes next upon me. She keeps the rest at bay. But we need to escape before that "next" comes for us.

I take deep breaths, holding on to her faith, until I can lift her in my arms. I protect us with a shield as I take us from the now crumbling building in great leaps forward. We manage to get clear of the building as a whole before it completely collapses in a great rushing groan that sends dust and debris wafting out in all directions. I can only hope we can escape unseen and the people of the city will think everyone inside either has died, or must be dug out.

Chapter Text

The last person I want to see is waiting for us as I walk down the steps carrying Noriko in my arms. She's looking over my shoulder, watching our backs to make sure no soldiers see us. Banadam is brave. He's willing to look me in the eye, but he knows. He saw me.

I don't want to frighten him, but I still can't help but dare him with my eyes. Dare him to take what's most precious to me. It's still Noriko that will fight him, not me, but he'll never understand that. His hands clench at his sides, but his posture is one of knowing he's lost already. It's just hard for his heart to give up.

I set Noriko down on her feet, knowing that I'm unleashing the weapon. She turns to look and see what I'm looking at and her lips press together and she stiffens. I'm quite sure her eyes flash their fire as well, but that wasn't directed at me. It was directed to the man who was looking into those eyes. 

His shoulders slump slightly and he looks away from us both. He's finally seen the truth of what I told him this morning. Noriko will hear none of what he has to say. She's already lost her patience with him. When she relaxes slightly to speak with him, I can hear in her voice that she's also sorry we've made him and everyone else afraid of us. "Thank you for coming to help us, Banadam." 

She leads me as we continue our walk. We still need to escape the area. As we reach him, he looks me up and down. "That's awful, Izark, to destroy your clothing ...and the temple." His eyes shout his frustration at me, then he turns away.

"Go hide in the woods. I'll bring back some clothes for you. You'll be the laughingstock of the city if you walk back to Zena's that way, and she'll never be able to show her face in public again." He's already on his way, unable to stay in our joint presence any longer, no longer able to hide his tears of frustration and pain, and not wanting us to see them.

Izark carries me out of the collapsing building, protecting us with a shield of energy along the way. Banadam is waiting for us when we arrive just inside the woodland garden. He finally has to give up, but not without one final parting comment I choose to ignore. He's afraid now also, and that makes me a little sad.

Banadam says he'll retrieve clothing for Izark, who's looking rather like the Hulk returned to normal: shredded pants only. I mentally sigh over yet another lost outfit as Banadam heads off. "Izark," but he suddenly turns towards the woods.

The woods are part of the temple and government complex and are part of a series of gardens. I take Noriko's fingers lightly in mine and lead her into them where we can hide from anyone who comes searching the area. She turns to me, "Izark --" she begins, but I have felt a familiar feeling.

I turn quickly, "Who's there?" I demand, hunting through the trees, up in the branches. My eyes lock onto a woman standing in one of the trees. Long blond locks fall from her head and her high nobility is very obvious. Her beauty is incomparable, but it's filled with pride and vanity. I'm both attracted and very repelled at the same time and a part of me wants to quail behind Noriko and hold her forward as my shield.

"Who's there!?" he demands, his eyes seeking up in the trees around us. The beautiful woman standing in a tree far enough from us for her to feel safe doesn't fit in her setting at all. "Izark, that's Tazasheena, the seer."

I recognize the name immediately and all the stories of her, and of Zena, click into a full understanding.

"She was the one who plotted with Wazalotte to sacrifice me to Lord Silent Mask. She knows what you are. She was watching you with her sight. I'm sorry."

There wasn't anything Noriko could have done about that, but I immediately want to kill this woman, and then find Wazalotte and smash him into dust. They were the source of me being dragged into turning into the Sky Demon for the first time, and they threatened the life of Noriko.

"So," Tazasheena's voice might entice some men, but to me her voice is cold and insincere, mocking, "no one knows who the Sky Demon and the Awakening are because no one is looking for humans. It is interesting that you can hide your signature." She knows how to recognize demons. But then she worked with Lord Silent Mask. I'm hunting, looking for the opening.

I grab Izark's hand before he can give chase. "Izark, she can teleport. I left her in the chamber." Looking more closely at her, I can see she now has one of the rodents on her shoulder that the bandit leader had. It must be the animal that does it. I've never seen anyone teleport without one.

I pause. That's important information. My eyes lock onto the creature on her shoulder. It's the same kind as the chief of thieves used. I relax slightly. We need to plan. "If I leave you she'll come take you, but she must die. If she escapes, who knows who she will sell her information to?"

Noriko thinks quickly. "I have my knife. If we let her grab me, I could use it on her in surprise. But, I can't be sure I can kill her."

I understand Noriko may not be able to kill. We've trained her to if she must absolutely do it, but she's always hesitated. Still, she must if we're going to survive. "I will give chase. When you've injured her, keep her in place and I'll finish it." If we can do that, it would be best.

While it turns my stomach to be so casually talking about the planned murder of another human being, I can only agree. "Okay. ...Why do you think that, Tazasheena?" I ask, not letting go of Izark yet. "I am merely a human woman like yourself."

Noriko is still holding on to my hand. As long as we stay holding hands, Tazasheena can't steal her away.

"Because his power was sufficient to nearly destroy a demon, and pull down a large building as well," Tazasheena answers. 

I've taught Noriko, although she already understood it, that making your opponent talk both gives them time to rethink attacking, and gets enough information out of them to perhaps give us an advantage over them if we can learn something from them. The woman with the cloth weapons was a failure of that attempt. She refused to talk. 

"There are more men that have special powers or strengths," Noriko is unimpressed for our sake, to perhaps keep hiding what we are. "Didn't Lord Silent Mask give ten men different powers of strength? Izark is my protector, my guard. If a demon can give ten men strength, can't one give one man the strength of ten?

"The buildings in this land stand, but are poorly constructed. It couldn't be helped that it fell down when it's supports were damaged." The Teacher has made her attack, and lets me know what she learned.

"Izark, she said ‘nearly destroyed the demon'. Is it possible Lord Silent Mask is nearby, like the one after the village in the White Mist Forest, waiting for you so he can try again? If he captures you when she grabs me, you won't be able to come. What should I do if that happens?"

I go cold and very angry, although this time I'm able to control it. I have her holding my hand, to remind me to remain in control so that we can plan properly. "Prevent her from teleporting and kill her after you have damaged her."

That makes her nervous but she answers, "Okay. I'll do my best."

Tazasheena disappears. I take Noriko by the waist and take one step. Noriko pulls out her dagger and slashes hard as soon as we see Tazasheena appearing in front of us. There is a cut-off cry and she disappears and reappears at some distance from us.

Blood is blossoming on her arm. With a knife it wasn't close enough to really damage her and now she knows, but Noriko is unafraid and unconcerned and gives her next attack. "I warned you, even in the temple, Tazasheena." My ears prick up. I wonder what happened in that room? "He is my guard, and you've made a grave error to think I am prey. You aren't strong enough. Ten demon-strengthened men, and the demon itself weren't sufficient. You cannot be either."

I've felt another thing I recognize while she was talking. The demon is using her talking to sneak up on me. "Noriko, the demon is coming. I'll let it take me. I can't face them both at the same time. Let her take you, then on the next physical phase finish it." Noriko needs to be in very close range to kill Tazasheena with her knife. If Tazasheena is holding Noriko that's plenty close, and her arms will be too full to defend herself.

I swallow. I'm not sure I can kill. "I'll try. At the least I'll prevent her from teleporting again."

"Okay." That's all I have time for as a water spout surrounds me and picks me up off the ground. At the same time Tazasheena disappears and is reappearing behind Noriko, and they're disappearing. I focus on my fight, determined to see it end as soon as possible.

Izark is grabbed by a water spout at the same time as Tazasheena appears beside me, lays hands on me and teleports us away. I'm prepared and my knife enters her side as soon as we're physical again. I didn't plan on being in the air, though, and we fall to the ground.

As soon as we land, I'm up and grabbing the animal off her shoulder and running. I don't want to be too far from Izark, but I also don't want to be close to the demon. Tazasheena is lying on the ground crying out in pain and cursing me. Then I hear her say, "Doros! She stole your chimo and knifed me. Go get her!"

I put on an extra burst of speed and get into the trees. I hear a grunt behind me. He's missed me, but it tells me what I want to know. He has a chimo, too. I run one more step, then turn and run at a right angle. Now is the rabbit dodge game in earnest.

I'm so surrounded by water that the demon must believe I can't breathe. Does it still not understand what I am? Not only do I not actually have to breathe, I'm an air demon. Even water contains air, and it's been stirred up quite nicely and has lots of air I call to me to breathe.

That makes me think of what I can do to finish it off. It will take a little time, but it will use less energy than trying to blast it away again, which was mostly ineffective without the full strength of the Sky Demon. This will be better.

I call upon fire, heating up only my body first, and the space just around it. Slowly, I send the fire out from me, feeding it the same air that I'm drawing for my lungs. The air from outside the demon comes into it as I call for it as well. It's unconcerned about both. I can feel it changing from a killing intent to prideful mocking. I smile grimly to myself and merely continue my work.

The water is trying to crush me as it puts pressure on my body. I begin to stir the water, sending the air and fire through it to distract it from it's task, and increase the strength of my energy shield a little. Doesn't it remember I could do that before? It's only attack against the physical is pressure, and it's not enough to damage me.

Then it changes attacks. The water comes at my face forcefully and tries to climb into my nostrils, slip through my lips and down my throat to drown me, to enter me and take over. I prevent it with the same energy shield and all the air in the water can now be fed to the flame. I'll breathe again when this thing is dead.

There's another presence in the woods, one I don't recognize. That will be bad. If Tazasheena has reinforcements, or someone discovers us, we may not escape. I pull on the power and feed the fire to make it heat the demon faster. I pull the air in more quickly as well until I can stir the water that holds me and the two combine and it's suddenly boiling hot.

Angry and impatient, I pull on more power and the fear of the demon finally rises until the most heat it can hold is reached and it's being burned away into a mist. With a final burst of power filled with fire, I burn away the demon and I know it's dead this time.

I land on the ground and seek Noriko along our heart connection. I'm running that way as fast as I can, relieved she's still in these garden woods. There's a shriek from closer by and I hear Tazasheena cry out, saying they need to teleport immediately or they'll die.

He can ‘leap' faster than I can run, and I have to guess where he's going to show up. The time comes I guess wrong. When he appears before me, I throw the chimo I'm holding away, and I'm fortunate. He chooses the chimo. I head for a stand of this world's equivalent of bamboo. They're closely spaced and probably can't be teleported into without problems on reentry.

As I get farther into them, I hear Tazasheena's piercing screech that Doros return to her immediately or she will be murdered. The sudden silence a few moments later tells me that we did not fulfill our goal. Tazasheena has escaped.

I stop running, holding on to two trunks that I can nearly wrap my whole hands around, and put my head on them. The tears flow. "Noriko, I'm sorry I took too long." Izark has found me.

By the time I reach the place they were, not very distant at all, they're gone: Tazasheena and the other person who came to help her. We're alive, the demon is dead, but an enemy who knows us has escaped. That's going to be a problem.

First, though, is getting to Noriko. I hunt through these different woods of thin trees set very close together. That was intelligent to hide here. It would be easy to die if one teleported into these woods. The trees even give me troubles. I have to hunt through the rows to find Noriko, even though I can feel where she is generally.

She's holding on to two trunks and is resting her head on them in despair. She's crying. "Noriko, I'm sorry I took too long." 

I turn and put my back against the trees and shake my head. "No, I'm sorry I didn't protect you properly, and she got away alive. I'm sorry, Izark.

"I'm sorry that you have to keep protecting me, even though it hurts. I'm sorry I made you angry and that Banadam said hurtful things. I'm sorry that I can't trust myself, even though I asked you to trust me." All of my insecurities, fears, and those things I've been wanting to say since he had to rise up from his bed again in his weakened state come tumbling out of my mouth and the tears pour from my eyes at the same time.

My eyes widen and I reach for her, wanting to comfort her, to tell her that wasn't it at all, and not sure what all of her words mean. But she can't bear to face me. She turns and flees. "I'm sorry, Izark!" she calls out as she runs away from me.

It's the first time ...no second, Noriko has run away from me. She was also in this sort of pain then. I slump slightly and let her run, but I follow just closely enough, walking, so that she can't get away completely. I have things I need to say to her.

Izark's eyes widen and he reaches for me, but this time it hurts too much to let him comfort me. I turn and slip away from him, fleeing. "I'm sorry, Izark!" This time, he lets me run. We both know I can't get far enough from him.

When I finally collapse, all I can do is hide my head in my arms and sob. I don't want to hurt him. I want to return his love, and I desperately want him to love me. I'm so afraid I'm doing irreparable harm, that he's too angry with me now, and even worse, someday even sooner than we had hoped they will find us. There are enemies who know our faces now.

I continue close enough to hear her sobs, then stop and wait. It hurts, to hear her cry like this, to have her take on her shoulders things that aren't hers to carry, to have wounds she doesn't need to have when this path is already hard enough.

I wait until her sobs calm down enough she should be able to think clearly, and hear me. I'm not sure she wants to hear my words, regardless, not when I couldn't tell her myself the most important words she had to learn from others. "Noriko?"

It's tentative, like Izark isn't sure I'll be willing to listen. I am, though. "Mm." I don't even trust my inner voice to say a single word correctly.

I stiffen. I'm not sure, but that wasn't a good sign in my understanding, that she won't use words at all. I hesitate, then say softly, a little sadly, "I won't come there if you dislike me so much, but will you listen to what I have to say?"

I'm shocked by his assumption. "Yes."

There's a pause, then she answers. I'm relieved she'll at least grant me that much. I grasp hold of a tree next to me, holding on to it to hold to courage so I can say what needs to be said.

Humbly, I say, "Noriko, if I could set you free, I would. I love you and it hurts me to see you this way. You came into this world against your will, and everything that has happened to you has been the same. I chose to save you and bring you out of the Sea of Trees. Since then, you've had no choice in anything that happens to you.

"But you've still made choices. You've chosen to live -- time and time again. Everything you've done has been a choice to live. I wish I could set you free so that you could choose to live the life you wish you could live, and not the one of pain and danger my life brings to you.

"I have chosen to continue to protect you because I want to protect you. You also choose to help me and protect me. I wish I could set you free of that also, but I need you. Only your words, only your presence gives me hope. Even still, if I could do it, I would." I clench my hand at my side. It's hard to say it. I could only do it because I love her and want the best for her.

Even more than ever I need Noriko next to me, to know that she will help me not turn into that again -- ever. I was almost lost and am even more afraid than ever of myself. If she is free to be gone from my side I may not have a choice. This time it is I who would choose death. Death over becoming the Sky Demon now that I know what it is. And I know I will become it if she's taken from me again.

But they aren't the only words I have to say. I also need her to not be the servant. "You are not mine. You've been placed where you shouldn't have to be, but I do not own you. You may choose whatever you can choose -- I don't want to prevent it. ...You may even choose to hate me." To be hated would be better than the cold stiffness of the servant that opposes the warmth of her that I need, or so I feel, but regardless, she has that right.

I feel her coming closer, and when I can see her, her expression worries me. It's closed yet firm, as if another lesson is coming. I suppose it probably is and I should bear up under it.

I get up and walk back to him. What I have to say needs to be said face to face. His look is worried, like my friends would get when they could feel a lecture coming on.

"Izark, I do not hate you. But what I do feel, I can't trust. The heart connection we have wasn't created by you or me. We still don't know what it was created by. Until we can understand that, how can we know if we are choosing to love because it's what we really desire? If it's an [artificial] love, what will become of us when it's removed? Will we regret making that decision: to believe a thing that was forced?"

I shake my head. That's a thing she doesn't know that I do. "I didn't choose to love you because my heart hurt when you were gone. I learned of your gentleness and kindness, and that touched me. Even still, I had to be sure, to test you to make sure you weren't hiding other reasons to be nice to me. I had to make sure you weren't trying to make me love you artificially in order to gain power over me.

"It was very difficult to overcome the distrust I have of everyone, but even more of the Awakening. I still don't know what the purpose of the Awakening is in my life, because you changed what I was told it should have been, but I am sure of one thing. You are good. I can trust you.

"It's from these things that I've chosen to love you, to continue to protect you. If I didn't believe these things, I would have already killed you and set myself free. I went into the Sea of Trees to do that, and I couldn't. Now, I won't. I'll protect you until we're both free and you can choose whatever you wish to choose for yourself."

Her eyes are uncertain, surprised. Then she's thinking, remembering, teaching herself from the words I've given her, what little I can teach her that I learned and did. I barely breathe, holding on to hope as tightly as I can. My hand holding the tree next to me tightens its hold as well. I can't lose her. I don't know what feelings are hiding behind the servant. Her worry wasn't said so I could know. When she's decided what she'll do, Noriko looks back up at me.

The concept that he can, and has, chosen to love because he truly chose it stuns me. Can I choose it? Like I believe Izark can choose his destiny?

I'm suddenly reminded of my parents. When my father won a prize for his book and came home to tell my mom that he was going to quit his job to write professionally, life was really rough for a while. Mom was afraid that we would lose the house, and the money wouldn't be enough to keep us fed or pay the bills. There were late night arguments they tried to keep from us kids, but in the end Dad stayed home and wrote. Mom got a part-time job to make sure the important bills would be paid monthly. We never did go hungry, or lose the house.

I asked Mom one day about it and she said, "I love your father. I made a choice to marry him, to have his children, and to walk through life with him. When I remembered that, that love is a choice, we stopped fighting. I chose to love your father and let him follow his dream. It isn't always easy. There are still things we worry about. But if I remember that I am daily choosing to love your dad, then I can make the right choices each day."

I look up at Izark. "Izark, I love you, but if I make that choice, then I am choosing it for the rest of my life, not just until we are free of the heart bond. I will not go home. I need to know that you're willing to choose it to that level also ...and for you, it will be most difficult.

"From what I understand, demons do not die. I will die. Can you love a mortal whose lifespan is so short compared to eternity? Can you go on living and not hate me for having to leave you, but instead remember me with at least fondness after so many years have passed?"

She's thrown too many heavy words at me at once again. I take a half-step back, trying to carry them all and not lose them. It was hard to keep listening after the first four words. I decide to not address them right now. I'll think of them later, when I can properly savor them.

"Noriko, if we can learn how to make it so I don't have to be the Sky Demon, I may not be immortal, but stay mortal. It's another thing we can't know yet. But even still, I will owe you my life. If I can share all of yours with you, I would be very happy, and still not have repaid you."

"It's the same for me," I say soberly, "I am yours because I owe my life to you. You chose to save me that day in the Sea of Trees, and you've kept me alive since then, a thing I couldn't do on my own, and can't repay. It's not enough in itself to make me love you, although I am very grateful. I love you because you are kind, warm, and gentle. I don't want to be apart from you."

It's too much for me, to hear those words that fill me and chase away the fear of having her hate me or worse to leave me. My hand reaches for Noriko, taking hold of her arm and pulling her close to me. "We'll need to leave the others and go into hiding alone again. They want to do good things that we would bring trouble on, now that we're discovered." 

She nods, understanding. I am drowning in her and her words. I lean down close to her, and her hair is fluffy on my hand that slides into it at the back of her head.

Izark puts his other hand behind my head, tipping it up towards him as he bends down, his long silky tresses brushing past my cheeks. "Noriko, will you come with me and love me, and let me love you?"

"Yes." Her word is breathed on my lips as they touch hers softly. She returns the kiss and I am lost in her warmth and love so much so that I can barely breathe, but her warm arms and her promise hold me anchored to hope and light. Silent tears of relief drip from my eyes.

His lips touch mine in a tender kiss that I return, slipping my arms around him to hold him, both wanting this moment to last forever and blushing bright red. He's still shirtless and mostly bare...and this is my first kiss. God, he's beautiful.

I tuck away the bright red blush on her face to enjoy and savor later as well. Right now I need the gift of peace she is giving me.

Chapter Text

Noriko insists that we must return to Zena's house and properly give our regrets. She must hold my hand -- literally and figuratively -- because I wish to run and not face them and what happened in that house. Banadam was already out of the house, the rest saw the horrible things done.

I can see the fear and questions on their faces and it takes everything I have to not flee, nor to let anything show on my face. They don't ask. I think they don't really want to know. I quickly disappear into the room I was in to collect my things, and then, because they're talking to Noriko, I go and collect hers.

Like I let her talk to Tazasheena, I let her talk here. She's unafraid to face them, and her words (I'm leaving the bedroom doors open so I can hear them and the holes in the walls besides make it simpler) are like they were with Tazasheena. They satisfy the minds of the listeners, but don't give them the full answers that would admit what we are. She doesn't lie, but she does point to other things and possibilities, so they don't have only the one thing to claim. It's enough to keep their mouths closed by the time I return with our bags. 

Based on her words and what I wish to do to help them, now that I can't with my strength, I've decided what I'll do. I hand Noriko her and my travel bags. The bags of gold I won from Nada are in two travel bags slung over my shoulder. I open the one resting on my chest and pull out two bags of gold and hand them to Noriko. "Please divide these in half for me." She sets them on the low table in the middle of the room, kneels, and opens the first one.

I address the people in the room. "Because we're now twice fugitives, we'll only bring more trouble to your efforts than it's worth. Instead we'll try to draw them away from here, so when you leave it looks like you did only leave the city the way they were trying to make you leave, Zena. Because they'll be looking only for us, they won't go looking for you as you try to do your good works."

Trying to keep to the spirit of Noriko's wishes, I choose to face each person, rather than drop bags on the table and run, which would be cold. I pull out two more bags of gold and take them to Agol and Barago. I face them as the manor lord they chose to see me and tease me as: with kind but firm requirement regardless of what their minds and hearts hold. I hold out one bag to each of them. "Please see that Zena and Duke Jeida are protected as they take their travels."

I pull out another bag and hand it to Agol. "Give this to Duke Jeida when you get to him. And give one pile each from what Noriko is making to his sons. If each of you can take care of yourselves until you reach your goals, you'll be able to focus on them."

I turn to Banadam, "One of those piles is also for you." I point to the table. He thanks me quietly. Likely the others still haven't told him what they saw, then. He'll learn eventually.

I turn to Zena. "Thank you very much for hosting us. I'm sorry we brought trouble to your home. Please take the final half-bag of gold to see to you and your ladies. I'm sorry it isn't more, but I must save the rest to see that Noriko and I aren't discovered. Every job I take is a risk we'll be found."

"Stay safely hidden," she answers me. Because she has the hope that the future isn't set in stone, she can wish with me that somehow we can change the prophecy. "The house has only seen more of the destruction they were already throwing at me. I won't need it now, and Tazasheena wanted it for herself anyway. She can have it in the condition she likes it best." She gives a small cynical smile. 

"I will hope she enjoys the breeze, then," I say back. She catches the humor and smiles.

I turn to Gaya finally. I don't want to see her face, but I still must face her properly. She's confused, worried, uncertain, but when I open my mouth, she moves to fling her arms around my neck, and tears are in her eyes. "Please take care of yourself, Izark. I will miss you both." I give her a gentle squeeze around her shoulder, as my other arm is balancing the gold from falling off my shoulder and it would be too heavy to have fall on her feet.

"I will," I promise. "You also. And please also take care of your sister and Duke Jeida. They want to do a good work and you are strong." She squeezes me tightly as she nods, and then lets me go. I pull out one bag of gold and hand it to her. "Take this, and also the wagon and its horse. You will have more need of it than we will. A single horse is sufficient for us."

"Then take my horse," she says immediately.

I shake my head. "You'll still need that one. You're adding Zena and her girls, and you need to ride to defend the wagon. If you all end up with extra horses in the end, sell them and use the gold for your works. I have enough to buy one more, then I'll need to save the rest."

The bag I've been taking gold from is very light now. When we're done with buying what we need to travel, I'll have only one travel bag of gold left. The purchase of the wagon and all the horses, plus the rent for the house and all of our purchases during Noriko's convalescence came from the other bags of gold in the first one.

Noriko rises to her feet, leaving the empty bags there so they can use them, although they'll have to find two more. I move to stand with her again. She bows. "Thank you for taking such good care of us, and particularly me while I was recovering. Please give my kind regards to Duke Jeida." I nod, also wishing for them to do that.

As we turn to go, Zena rubs the back of her head. "Ah...I'm still not really sure what I saw when you two first came to my home, but what I remember is seeing darkness at first, when Rontarna said your name, Izark, and then when he said Noriko's there was a ringing and a brilliant white light. It made me so surprised, but felt so warm that when it went away I was very sad." She looks me in the eyes soberly. "Keep Noriko by your side."

"I intend to," I answer back. "Thank you. That's more than any other seer has seen." She pinks up and looks pleased.

Noriko takes my hand and squeezes it. I glance at her and she gives me a kind smile that says to keep trying to hope. We say goodbye and leave the house, still hand in hand, Noriko again helping me to walk instead of run away.

I'm grateful that they were all willing to face me courageously and not with open fear. I hope their journey proves fruitful and good men are brought together again so they can affect good changes for this world that's falling into evil darkness.

Noriko convinced me that the city would be in such an uproar that they wouldn't even think of looking for us to be wandering in the market. She believes Tazasheena left the city she was so afraid for her life. If I'd had to I could have carried Noriko and run from the city by rooftop. We weren't discovered.

She does know large cities well. She was actually quite comfortable shopping along the large busy market street. I let her do the negotiating while I kept my eyes on the people in the street, keeping watch over us both, so that I could be more comfortable.

Once we had our supplies, which refilled the bag that I'd emptied, we left through the city gate that seemed least guarded -- the busiest one as if the rumored monster would flee only out of the back gates. Noriko smiled and commented that it was so story-book to make that assumption so it was obviously easier to walk out the front gate.

I thought she was rather clever, though, since I would have tried to flee out the back gate if she had let me do what I wanted to do from the beginning. We'd taken long enough even the guards at the gate that did cursorily examine us didn't believe the monster was in the city any more.

The rumors in the market were still only that. Most people were simply confused, not understanding why the temple had collapsed, nor what the real cause was. Everyone who'd seen me in my fully human form was buried in the temple or missing (the city was assuming Tazasheena was also buried). The two guards who'd seen me and run had seen the monster form and blue hair, not black, so that was the description being asked for by those guards who are seeking me.

I was quite relieved they'd not seen the final two demon forms. I'm not sure the strong guards had either. I think I changed into them after I collapsed the roof over them. While that's a little concerning since part of the description is similar enough to the fully human me, perhaps it will mean that they'll only continue to think of me as a monster hidden in the form of man, rather than as the Sky Demon. None of the rumors contain that whisper yet, although men will begin eventually to assume it.

If only Tazasheena saw the Sky Demon in her scrying then we only need to fear what she can do -- and I do. Greatly. She may be able to find us again now that she knows our names and essences. I can only keep us on the move and practice and hope I'm strong enough before she finds an ally wealthy enough to buy her information.

As the list of potentials is nearly endless, we may have a long time, if she's intelligent enough to get them to bicker and bid each other up. But then ...she is a seer. She only has to scry to know who's the buyer, so maybe not. Depressing. Why did it have to be a seer?

I wanted to know that the others got away safely as well, so after we purchased a horse that's sturdy enough to carry us both and all of our bags, including the gold, I took it and her for a walk around the city wall, none of us riding but the bags. This time I'll need to remember to do that every day so that Noriko's feet can toughen up. If we lose the horse again, she needs to be able to walk without me worrying. Every time we start trying, something prevents it again. Not that I mind pampering her. It's that we need to be ready for all eventualities.

I found a place near the gate I knew our companions would be leaving from that was hidden enough that we might look like two trysting lovers escaping work if we were seen while we waited to follow them, and then had fun being that. Well, sort of. I was too worried to have very much fun with it, other than deep inside since that was what I wanted us to look like. I spent the time worrying over things, like, If I had left with Noriko when I had first felt the urge to walk alone with her again, would any of this worry over Tazasheena been brought on us?

When I finally had to air that one so it would leave me alone, Noriko worked her skills and put it to rest for me. "If Tazasheena was a seer, and Lord Silent Mask wanted me, and they knew to find me way out there at the house, then wouldn't they have found us wherever we were?"

Logic may work to remove worries, but it as often leaves behind gloom as hope, I'm finding. That one left enough gloom I had to pull her closer and rest my head against hers so I could feel her fluffy hair on my cheek.

As the breath from my nostrils passed over her ear, it began to get hot and then I did have to smile. She'd reminded me in that moment of one of the reasons I'd been wanting us to be traveling alone again. "Thank you, Noriko, for returning my feelings," I quietly and sincerely said in her ear. The rest of her bloomed very hot rather suddenly.

She managed to say mostly calmly, "You're welcome, Izark." Then she forced the embarrassment down. "I'm sorry I couldn't return it because I was so worried. Thank you for helping me see how I can choose to love you so I can. I really do, you know." The blush returned. 

"Thank you." It barely made it out around the lump in my throat. It's more meaningful to me than she knows.

I am sincere, but it's a delight to me that I can make Noriko and the Teacher both blush. To make her squirm makes me laugh, and when she must completely give in to my wooing and only be the woman who loves to be loved then I am satisfied.

I was nervous our first night. I wasn't sure what our declarations of love that day really meant in action. I'm pretty sure he knew I was nervous. As we ate our dinner that night he kindly explained to me the traditions of engagements, weddings, and marriages in this world. Given that we were both nineteen, nearing twenty in this world, we were both considered at least the age of consenting adults.

Properly, he should talk with my father for approval, but that is just not possible. His hesitation was that in my own world, I am only just nearing eighteen. At seventeen, I'm not really old enough yet. Even in my own world that's true. I pointed out that in my world he would also only be eighteen, and just barely that, then took his offer to consider that we're engaged at this point, but not married.

I'm sure I need a little more time to mature before I'm ready for the marital bed. I'm still waffling on it. Somehow I'm feeling for the first time that it isn't right for a single female to be traveling the world with a single male unchaperoned or unmarried.

That night was another night of squirming embarrassment for her, but it was bad enough I only smiled, and then helped her set it to rest. Having proper boundaries set is important for both of us. I also don't want to tread where I shouldn't. Even if her family isn't here on this planet for me to speak to them, I still owe them respect for their love and concern for her that they surely have even still. I would want to be able to face her father and brother honorably if I were ever to meet them.

I also didn't want to destroy on the first night the gift I'd finally been given. Having her return my love with the open admission that she really does love me, too (ah, I blush myself to put it so obviously), makes me more than happy. Having her beside me willingly so that she's relaxed again is fulfilling enough. Being able to hold her hand, touch her hair, or hold her in my arms when I need to without her flinching or me being afraid is helping me relax in ways I was never able to relax before. The stones in my gut melt slowly away each day.

I've been using the time we travel together to ask the questions that built up while we were with the others. My first one is the one that was most troublesome that day. Why do I have times of weakness? And in particular, Why did it strike then?

We discussed the possibilities for likely an hour. I told her what I had thought it was. She agreed that my initial reasoning would be what she would think, too, but in the end neither one of us had a satisfactory answer, because of the "outlier", the final "data point" that was so odd, there in Selena, Guzena.

Noriko apologized, saying that at only seventeen she still had at least another five years of schooling to do, and she still might have not studied what I needed to be able to answer that question. Her best guess was that there might be another [chemical] in my body that affects it, or that it might be related to a certain mix of strong emotions. She promised to research it for me later if I wanted, and my assignment is to continue to pay attention to what happens so that I can perhaps add more clues as it may happen in the future.

It's a bit frustrating to not have a ready answer, but I can't blame Noriko. I'm lucky she's been able to answer the questions she has been able to answer, and grateful as well. If we can learn this one together, then I'm also grateful to have a research partner who has the strength of the Teacher. The Teacher was able to reason out for herself that I wasn't destined to have to become evil. That's a skill I appreciate that she has.

It's Izark's turn to spend the travel time in personal lessons. He's working on learning to control his two higher levels of strength. Most of the time this means I hold the reins of the horse while he meditates behind me. I've been enjoying getting to pick where we go, picking places to travel through that allow me to enjoy the strange and beautiful nature of this world. Sometimes he comes back up for air to redirect our path so we don't have to run into monsters that he can sense but I can't.

We talk at other times. Sometimes it's a question he's thought of -- I don't always have the answer -- and sometimes it's just to visit together, learning more about each other. I love it best when he opens up and lets me know what his past was like. It's sad, the earliest part of it, but it means he's truly trusting me and opening up to me.

His was a lonely childhood. He had no siblings, but his family lacked for nothing. Then his mother seemed to have a mental breakdown. She bemoaned ever having a child such as Izark. It got worse the more the scales on his arms grew. He always wore the cloth wraps on his wrists and forearms to hide them.

When he first started displaying the second level strength powers and physical changes, before he learned to properly control them, she snapped and came after him with a knife to kill him. He begged her to return to sanity, loving her even then, but when she pushed him to the ground and lifted the blade against him, his power activated to protect him and she was blown back. The knife pierced her and she'd screamed in agony. That experience is what made him blade shy and made Gaya's desire to teach him the sword that much more difficult.

Wanting to protect his mother, who eventually became confined to her room and bed so she wouldn't attack him, Izark finally left. His father begged him not to go, saying that they were being protected and paid for taking care of him. That had turned his stomach even more and he snuck away and left.

A few days later he was in a shop to pick up supplies when he heard that a fancy manor house had burned down, all residents dead, because they'd failed to fulfill their contract to care for a boy. He immediately went back to his home and found, to his horror and grief, that the information was correct.

He'd run from the burnt husk of the house in tears and begun his life as a wanderer, hiding who he was and where he came from, getting odd jobs on caravans so he could keep on the move. He still doesn't know who paid his parents to take care of him, but it worries him. The killing of the household was not the act of a force of good.

While his earliest childhood story is sad, the stories of when he was wandering are interesting and often humorous. I get to learn his sense of humor within those stories and love to see his eyes sparkle, often the only clue that he's just told a joke. Whenever I see it, my own eyes sparkle back in response -- I can't help it. He indeed learned a lot during all those years, and he uses his knowledge every day, it seems, including the few times he takes the odd job on our way, although we're trying to not be seen by many people.

The other thing I've been wanting to do is learn even more about who the Awakening is. She's willing to answer many questions very openly. Her world sounds very strange and mythical, but everything has been reasoned by the minds of men and created by them. She becomes animated when she talks about how it would be so simple to teach even the small ideas to the people here and great things would come about from it. I think she will have to slow down and wait for everyone else to catch up to her.

She tells me about herself, often while blushing, sometimes with resignation when it's her weaknesses. She'll tell me about her schooling, her friends, and what she enjoyed doing on her planet. But she won't tell me about her family. When I try to ask, gently, she'll go very quiet and sad.

One day something else we were talking about made her sad enough to turn away and I asked why. She only said it had made her remember her mother. As she walked away from me to recover she began to disappear as if she was walking away from me to return to her world and family.

I immediately panicked and leaped the short distance to grab hold of her, crying out her name. She turned to me, suddenly solid again, very surprised, as if she hadn't noticed it was happening. When she asked me what it was, I only could hold her in my arms and tell her I was sorry to make her sad, and beg her not to leave me. I was frightened for several days after.

It's hard to know when something we talk about will bring up memories of home when I can't even know about the people she loves. But if she'll leave me for being so sad for them, then I won't ask. Some day perhaps she'll not be so sad for them and then I'll be able to hear her stories.

I tell her my past, however. Given how much I wish to know hers, I'm sure she feels that way about me. It's hard to talk about my past because it was so painful, but she is kind and gently holds my hand or places her hand on my knee to comfort those pains. She's here now to love me and that fills those painful places, and it wasn't all bad.

Once she knows of the most painful part, we're able to move on and I can tell the stories of when I wandered with the caravans. There are many entertaining stories of that time and she listens to them with delight on her face. I like to hear her laugh and often her wry comments echo my own sentiments from those times. I'm delighted when she learns my brand of humor. Then she laughs more frequently.

There is one other thing he's been showing me new about himself. Today, as we've stopped for lunch, he's practicing controlling the physical changes. Before, he could only change based on what level of strength he was willing to use. When the claws came and his ears went pointed, that used to be a sign he was just barely holding on to his fear or anger, and his strength. If he was in control, it was only the eyes and teeth. Now he can control the claws and ears (they go together like the eyes and teeth), and wants to know if he can control the next level. There are times it might be useful to have pieces of the armor.

"Izark, I think the horn is the next level. You can probably be sure that it will come. It was the first thing that came when you changed to the third level the first time. I don't think you have to accept a full change though." Izark takes off his bandanna. "Izark, will it be too painful?" I'm worried.

"I think it will be like the hands," he says flexing his fingers. "The more I practice, the less pain there is." He can now hold my hand easily with the claws, although he's still very careful if he practices on me. Most of the time he practices picking up sticks or rocks.

I watch as he changes comfortably to the second level form. Slowly he increases his power. He winces as his forehead splits and the tip of the horn emerges from the opening. I put my hand on his arm to give him encouragement, then gently touch his forehead to cool it just a little and freeze. When the horn has fully emerged, he opens his eyes. "Noriko? ...Noriko? What is it?"

Gasp! "Ah, nothing... nothing bad...." I can't speak, although I'm trying to engage my brain enough to reassure him. That was enough to unparalyze me and my hand moves from his forehead to brush through his hair, my eyes staring at my fingers moving through his hair.

It's like touching soft water, the touch being the softness of hair and fur, the flow and ripples of the hair being like touching a stream and watching the ripples go around your fingers. "It's beautiful, Izark," I breathe.

In a rather dry voice he says, "Noriko, it's very frustrating to see that expression on your face when there's a horn sticking out of my head."

I'm still distracted. "Why?"

"I can't kiss you for fear I'll poke you." That jolts me back and I'm looking into his eyes instead of at his hair. They're a very green-blue at this level, not yet at the sapphire, but a lot of blue in them. I lean in and kiss him, wanting to answer the sparkle in his eyes, and teaching him at the same time what the boundaries are for where the horn is.

He's surprised at first, then he wraps his hands around my waist and pulls me to him. At first I think he's teasing me, but I can feel his passion changing him again before he can catch it. He pulls back, surprised himself. When he looks into my eyes, worried, I'm sharply caught: mesmerized again, frozen.

He moves to let it go, and I reach for his face. "No!" I protest quietly, not wanting this change to leave him. "Izark, it's so beautiful."

He pauses, considering me carefully. Slowly he says, "Noriko..., I think this level is dangerous for you." I shake my head, denying it, not wanting to take my eyes off his. "Yes, I think so. I could take you to my bed right now and you wouldn't say no."

Well...that's true. I blink at him. "Don't kiss me, then."

... "Ever?"

... "No. Just right now."

He gets his glint of a smile on his face, the one that says he wants to tease. "So..., just what is it that will make Noriko swoon in my arms?"

I reach up and put my other hand on the side of his face, holding it so that he has to continue to look in my eyes. "Sapphire eyes."

He suddenly looks shy, an expression I don't see often. It adds to the overall effect he's having on my heart and body. I moan slightly and move quickly to escape, rolling out of his hands, rising to my feet, and turning my back to him. I wrap my arms around myself then bite my thumb, trying to bring myself back under control. I really wasn't expecting this.

He rises behind me, then takes my shoulders in his clawed hands and leans down to speak in my ear. I shudder at his nearness. "I think I could learn to be at this level for Noriko, whenever you should ask for it. It would make me happy to please you this way."

I close my eyes. This is the other thing he's been showing me, and I am so very weak to it, even more so right at this moment. Izark is extremely romantic, and loves to see my reactions to his wooing.

My hand moves from my mouth to his hand on my shoulder. I turn my head slightly towards his head. "I would like that very much," I admit quietly, knowing I've just lost majorly to him in this department.

Slowly his horn recedes back into his forehead and I know the sapphire eyes are gone as well. He can only keep the higher levels controlled for short periods of time. It will take more practice to keep them for as long as he wants.

When his hand is back to human again, I pick it up off my shoulder and kiss it, then step away from him to face him. "I'm sorry, Izark. I am very weak. Blue is my favorite color, and even more so, that color. The color of your sapphire eyes."

"Is that why you say I am beautiful when I'm like that?"

"Izark is always beautiful." He seems pleased with that answer, but then I can't help teasing him back. "But blue hair and blue eyes are something special." I can't keep my lingering desire off my face when I say that, and he's torn between frustration with the teasing and wanting to answer that desire.

He settles on the latter, since he knows it will tease me back. He puts his hand at the back of my head and pulls me in for a kiss. "Then I will become special for you." I blush bright pink. He's won again, but there's no surprise there. I've already admitted my weakness.

Three months after leaving our companions, we arrive in a town nestled in the bend of a river. We're in need of supplies again, and for some time there haven't been any places to purchase the few things that only larger towns have. In particular, I'm needing a new journal, more ink, and new nibs again, and I'd like to get some yarn and knitting needles. I've finished my embroidery on the jacket and overdress, and am ready to start a new hand project.

Izark wants to pick up a few herbs that are harder for us to find while on the road, and stop at a blacksmith to have his sword looked at. It's been getting just enough abuse he wants a professional to check it. There's only one problem. It's apparently festival time in the city and all the inns are full. We even had troubles finding a stall to rent for the horse for one night.

I must be looking pale, although really it's the press of people after being out in the wilderness so long, because Izark sits me down on a low pillar at the base of steps that lead up to a viewing platform. He tells me to wait there while he finds something for me to eat, and heads off into the crowd. I must be tired, because I let him go without complaint.

I'm concerned. The sense that a demon has focused its attention on us has been building inside me. It's making me nervous about being here, but for some time there haven't been any places to purchase the few things that only larger towns have. As we walk through the busy streets, Noriko's feet slow. I look at her, knowing she's used to more than this. She's looking drawn and pale.

The closest place to have her sit out of the way is on a short pillar to the side of a set of stairs that lead up to a central high platform. I put my hand to her forehead and she has a slightly elevated temperature. Because of her episode with the diseases, even that much worries me. We'll need to see it taken care of right away. Not wanting her to use more energy than she should, I tell her to wait there while I find something for her to eat. There's a fresh fruit that can help with this. 

Why I draw attention, I don't know. A man has randomly walked up to me, ignored my protestations, and is dragging me off. "Izark, please come explain I'm not a show girl to an idiot."

"...Ah! Hey! Kidnapping and abuse are not legal you know!" The strange man just decked another woman who tried to come to my rescue, oddly enough. What a loser!

I've barely made it to where I can smell the food part of the market when Noriko is contacting me. Already nervous and concerned, I move very quickly, up to the rooftops, running and only pausing long enough to find her in the crowd. She's being dragged by the arm by a man who's striding along purposely. She's pulling back against him. A woman is on the ground just behind them and Noriko is talking to her.

I'm next to them in one leap. I pick the man up by the front of his jacket and toss him (gently) nine feet. "What are you doing!?"

Noriko explains that he just assumed she was looking for work and was taking her off to "give her a job". I know full well there are other things that go on when that's used to capture a young, defenseless woman. I scowl at him fiercely. The man stammers out an apology, getting to his feet quickly to run off.

Noriko turns to the woman on the ground, "Thank you. Are you okay? I'm sorry you got injured for your troubles."

The woman is holding the side of her face, where a bruise is already forming. "Please, come stay at my family's home. I'm sure you don't have anywhere else to go, what with the Flower Festival coming up. My name is Ninya and my mother is the mayor of this town. We could really use your help." I hold out my hand for hers and help her stand all through this rush of words.

"Help with what?" I ask her politely, while making sure I have Noriko close so we don't have another unexpected incident.

"For the festival, we perform a ritual that requires a man with great athletic ability. My husband broke his foot, otherwise it would be him. We need someone to replace him, and I just saw you leap to a roof and back down again...and you look almost exactly like my husband, except a little taller.

"Please come and consider it. We would be happy to pay you room and board for it, at least. It isn't difficult and it is brief." She's been pulling on us, leading us towards a building not too far from the raised pavilion, all while talking. It would be a simple answer to our needs, and I do want Noriko to rest as soon as possible. If we can get out of the press of people, that would be good.

Ninya continues with her explanation, "It's the Flower Festival, and for political reasons, we really need to have the festival go forward and be a success. My mother refuses to bribe the regional government officials. They've been sabotaging the festival, and even have a seer that claims the festival will fail because the gods aren't pleased with the city.

"That will damage the industry of the city, which will make the city poorer. My mother wants to prevent that as much as possible. Flowers and perfumes are all this distant city has to offer to the rest of the world. If that's defamed, the whole city will dry up and blow away."

We're at the house and she's opening up the door for us, looking expectant. Noriko looks at me and shrugs. Noriko needs to rest and Ninya was injured because she went to the defense of Noriko, a stranger. We can probably trust her to have good intentions. "I'll listen to what it is I would need to do. Noriko needs a place to rest comfortably, but we can't stay long."

Ninya claps her hands together. "That's wonderful! Please come in. I'll introduce you to my husband and the master of ceremonies and they can tell you the details."

Her husband, Kizak, and I are similar, both of us being slim (I am taller by just a little), and having straight black hair. When I walk into the room with his wife, he's very concerned about her but she blows it off and introduces us. Once I've heard what's required, I agree to take on the job. It does require sufficient athletic skill, but I should be able to do it fine, and I'll get to wear a mask and the annual costume. 

Ninya excuses herself and Noriko to take Noriko to a bedroom since I want Noriko to lie down and rest. Noriko says she'll poultice the bruising. I'm sure they'll have a girl chat, since Ninya seems that kind, but that's an acceptable exchange, as long as Noriko does rest soon. I've asked that part of the payment be room and board, and also that they protect Noriko for me, and for just enough coin to cover the purchases we came into town to make.

I'm fitted by the the master of ceremonies with the costume. They're relieved they won't have to modify it. When I notice Noriko looking at me from the bedroom, I scold her because that isn't resting. It takes energy to do that, even if we have been practicing while on the road. She sniffs at me, but does soon stop to rest properly. 

Kizak was a wandering swordsman before he met Ninya, married her, and settled down. He looks at me knowingly and warns me that I, too, will one day want to settle down and act properly responsible. He sounds like an older cousin, or perhaps young uncle, giving me advice and warning but not pushing me. I suppose it's good to hear words like that, even if I already know.

They take me out to practice getting the large basket from the starting point on the other side of the river to the ending point at the platform I had Noriko rest at. It isn't difficult. Tomorrow morning they'll fill the basket with flowers. I'll slide with it down two sets of cables over the river gorge to the platform.

At the end of the cables, the basket turns and the flowers fall out of it to fall over the square. People who catch a flower will traditionally have good luck for the year, or their wish granted if they have one. The entire afternoon after that starting ceremony is spent celebrating, including dancing, entertainment, food, and games. Apparently there will be a number of games specifically created for women, since this is an industry mostly directed towards them.

At the twist of the basket, I have to let it go at the right time and land on the platform so that I don't fall off the wagon (not that I would). I'm already well past the river gorge and over the land of the city, so that part doesn't cause me any concern. Only if the cables break while I'm over the gorge might there be any problems. I inspect the cables as we take the basket back over the river gorge to the starting point for another practice run, but they look in sufficient repair.

The job will be brief: two nights and then we'll be going again. I'm worried because of the sense of another demon watching us, but until it shows signs of itself I can't do anything about it. I'll just be watchful and wary and we'll see. 

Izark is standing on the opposite side of the river gorge from where we are on the raised pavilion from earlier. The crowd fills the area around it. All are waiting for the opening of the Flower Festival. A signal is given and Izark kicks off, pushing a wagon-sized basket full of flowers to get it started down a double set of cables. He'll ride it down to us at the platform.

His costume is amazing, and he was pleased he would get to wear a mask. He's hoping that makes him not stand out quite so much. Because he looks like the son-in-law of the mayor, there's also that disguise. I'm happy because I get to wear one of the traditional dresses of the women of this town, mostly because they're letting me stay with them up on the pavilion. It was a polite invitation since I'm with Izark, and because he required my protection as part of the package deal.

Suddenly, one of the cables snaps and one side of the wagon drops, spilling flowers down towards the river, Izark dangling from the edge of the basket. I watch with my heart in my mouth. The consequences of this may have far reaching effects for us, not just political ones for this town.

The crowd of people come to participate in the Flower Festival fills the square around the pavilion and beyond. All are waiting for the opening of the Flower Festival. The signal is given and I kick off, pushing the wagon-sized basket full of flowers to get it started down the cables. 

I'm paying attention, listening to and tasting the wind. My eyes look back most frequently to Noriko. She was very happy to get to wear one of the traditional costumes of the women of this town. She told me this morning as she put it on that she has always loved traditional clothing of many cultures. She also greatly appreciated my costume. As she likes to tease me like I like to tease her, I was glad I had the excuse of putting on my mask to cover the flush of pleasure her words gave me. 

About half-way across the river gorge I feel an odd jerk that becomes a slow sagging. The wind brings to my ears a few small pops, and then with a snap that cable separates and flings out of the traces on that side of the basket. I fall, still holding on to the side of the basket. There's a jerk and the basket swings, losing the flowers into the gorge while I dangle from one hand. My grip is firm, so I'm not worried for my own safety. If both cables had broken I would be.

This isn't just an accident that will make people sad for this year's festival. There are a lot of politics behind it. This festival needs to succeed, and I feel that is part of the job I accepted. I call up the wind to come down the river gorge. The narrow channel will make it come more strongly.

It comes swooshing up the canyon from below me to blow the flowers up into the air. I have it dance sinuously above me to swirl the flowers over the square. The wind blows the basket up and I trade places easily so that I'll be able to properly drop off at the turn at the end... since the basket hasn't stopped moving forward just because the one cable broke. 

As I drop to the floor of the pavilion, Noriko is running to greet me. Both of us are worried that what I did to help make the opening of the festival successful will bring those who are seeking us. I didn't use much of my power, but it was still enough to give off my signature to a seer, and several are likely watching this to let political enemies of the mayor know if their scheme to ruin the festival worked.

"Look! A rainbow!" The flowers have been falling all over the open square and people have been catching them, so they're looking up towards the sky. 

Their cries surprise me, but I remember feeling the mist of the water of the river in the wind. "The water stirred up with my wind to save the flowers must have risen up to create the rainbow," I say to Noriko.

Noriko and I look at the beautiful rainbow as all the attendees declare this festival more than successful. I've at least done well to meet my obligation.

Noriko says to me, "Izark, it's beautiful. What a wonderfully kind gift to give this city. I hope they have success this year. Once again you have been used for good in this world. The addition of the rainbow makes it almost feel like whatever's trying to help you be a force for good is giving you a sign as well: that it exists and is still watching over us."

I take Noriko's hand in mine. She always sees things in a positive way. I'm not sure, but I'd like it to be that. "I hope so. Something's coming, something not good. I've been more anxious than normal. If this is a sign to encourage me for that time, then I'll try to remember it: that something beautiful can come out of adversity."

Noriko squeezes my hand. I'll do my best to keep her protected. I will hope whatever brought us together will help me.

Chapter Text

I was worried before, but now my fear spikes. Noriko's legs and feet are disappearing into a second area of warped space as if she's being carried. She's fighting, kicking, but she must have others holding her who found her in her hiding place. As her feet are all I can see, I'm slammed by a fast series of powerful energy attacks because I stopped paying attention to Keimos. He arrived through one of those as well, from above us in the air.

I must get to Noriko and if that space closes I may not be able to. They just took her so far from me I can't feel her. I turn and with the power of my fear, although I try to temper the emotion, I slam Keimos with the hardest attack I have until this time. Until now, I was staying in control. That's sufficient to be able to put him down long enough I can get to the warped space and through it.

I find myself in a strange building. Heavy, the air here hasn't moved in centuries, as if earth has swallowed it up. It will be hard for me to use my skills here. Large roots cover the walls, floor, and ceiling, and have caused them to crack and crumble, but haven't destroyed this place. 

Here, I can feel the massive presence of the demon who's been waiting to confront me. Even though it's hiding, and trying to dampen its presence, it's too old, too large to completely hide. I swallow and look around for Noriko. I can feel her again, but faintly, only enough to know she's alive. I don't see her. 

Rather, I see another man here. I freeze just briefly. I can sense a strong aura around him. He could be my older brother. Long black hair pulled back in a ponytail, expensive robes finely tailored, but not excessive. He's likely what Noriko would call beautiful, but his pride repels me. That reminds me of Tazasheena. She would come and sell her information to someone like this, someone who she would match. That makes me angry, but because I'm afraid.

"She's gone. We've sent her away," the man says calmly, knowing what I'm searching for. At least he'll tell me Noriko's still alive, for now.

"Where did you send her?" I ask. He refuses to tell me. I move and he makes a sweeping motion with his arm. I slam into a barrier and use the force against me to leap back and land on my feet. I'm even warier now. He's not a warrior, but he can control energy. Likely earth energy given how strong that was and the place we're in. Is it possible he's the one that saved Keimos and made him so much stronger? ...Have I entered the stronghold of my enemy from the beginning?

Speaking of the devil, I feel Keimos arriving behind me through the warped space Noriko and I came through. He finally recovered, then. As he steps through what is a wall in this place, a third man, hunched and old, and every bit a seer does something to make the warped space at the wall disappear. Did they take Noriko through another space like that and remove it? I'll have to find my way out of here by another exit.

The first man I saw in this place chuckles and I turn to look at him again. With cruel delight, he tells me, "Now you're my captive. The long predicted moment has finally arrived, Izark." With quiet conviction he says, "You will transform into the Sky Demon here as you resonate with the power of this place."

"You can't make me become the Sky Demon!!" With a glare I send an attack filled with both my sudden burst of fear and all the conviction I hold of the belief that I can make my destiny.

He holds up his hand and my attack slams into another energy barrier he put up. Damage is done to the floor and building, enough I know he's very powerful, but not enough as what should have been done to it. I have the temple in Selina, Guzena, to compare it to. The power in this place has seeped into the structure itself.

"Keimos!!" the man orders and I'm defending myself again.

Keimos moves so fast that his first blow hits me and I fly back, but as soon as I land I'm leaping into the air so that his second punch hits the floor only. The power of his blows is even greater here than at the place outside of the flower town where he first confronted me. And, like me, he's transformed physically each time the power he uses increases. I'm confused by that. I don't think he's turned into a demon, nor does a demon control him in the same way I've seen them work before.

Like most prideful men on the edge of gaining what they want, the man in control here cries out to me, as if to weaken my will and convince me to his side. "It's your destiny, Izark! Haven't you noticed the world transforming? The power of this place is causing the changes! You're just a tiny part of the transformation! Accept your destiny, Izark!!"

Keimos is after me again. I push him back with an energy attack that includes the sparks that warn me that I'm about to the limit of what I can control. Or what I could. I hold on to the desperation of my soul and the practicing I've been doing. This time, I should be able to control it at least a half-step more. Only I control my destiny!!

As Keimos is blown back, this time I look for escape and ignore the man who wants to own me. This room is large and square with central openings above and below as if this was an atrium area. I go up to the next level's balcony. On the way up, the throb of pain that accompanied this level last time strikes me and I gasp.

By the time I'm up on the railing, my bandana is falling behind me, split in the center again. I'm glad I put on one of my older bandanas, not Noriko's embroidered one. I'm just as happy to leave it behind and not face Keimos for a while. I need to find the way out.

I put my clawed hand to my head, but I've only split the bandanna and my forehead. The horn hasn't arrived yet. I can hold it at this level, but the power here must have affected me. I didn't intend to go to this level.

With an explosion, Keimos is back up on his feet again, and he's transformed physically again, to another level higher. My attacks don't do enough damage. He's too strong. How long can he match me? How much power has this place and that person given him...or rather the demon?

That's a strong demon. I'll have to assume Keimos can match me for a long time. Escape is now a requirement. The longer I have to defend myself against him, the weaker I'll become against the Sky Demon inside of me.

As Keimos heads for me again, I leap off the balcony railing and head down a hallway, trying to gather up enough air energy to form a wind that will tell me where an exit to the surface is. It was like this in the cave system when I took Noriko from the Sea of Trees.

I try to reach her again, "Noriko!!"

"Izark! ...Izark." I hear her voice, but it's so faint, so distant. She must be as desperate as I am.

I hear my name again, but much louder and from behind me. Keimos demands I face him again; it is his challenge. I keep running, calling the wind to me, as faint as it is. Where is the way out?

While Izark practiced and meditated to control his new strength on our travels, I practiced strengthening my heart connection with him. I wanted to not be so tired just talking to him, and I wanted to have the strength to see him whenever I needed to. It was strange to be seeing where we were going with my own eyes, then also see us from the outside, the two of us on the back of the horse. I saved that practice for when we were camping after that.

In particular, I enjoyed watching Izark when he would go looking for water for us. He would often stay at the stream side to practice going into the first part of third stage so he could see the changes for himself.

Of course that eventually got me into trouble, since his own powers were magnified then. He could tell I was looking at him and I'd show up in the stream instead of his own reflection. The first time we kind of looked at each other shocked, then I was embarrassed and he laughed his silent laugh at me. I properly apologized for not telling him first, and he forgave me.

After that it became a game to see how long it took him to tell I was looking at him. Occasionally I'd catch him looking at me from a distance, so I also had to learn how to join in from the ‘answering' side. That's a little harder for me, it turns out, but I've just about got it.

Right now, I'm almost wishing I hadn't practiced it. I've been told I'm about eight miles from him and the vision I'm seeing in my head is the most horrific thing I could ever have thought to see. Izark is being pierced through by what looks like writhing tree roots, pinning him to another much larger one. Blood spraying out of the wounds and his own cries of agony add to my own pain.

Worse is, that as I watch, the strength leaves him and he returns from his lower level third form to human. The screams coming from my mouth sound like they're from someone else. "IZARK! No! Oh, Izark!" I'm on my feet. I have to get to him, and now.

Noriko came to me this morning, frantic. "Izark, the mayor says that the Source of All Evil has begun to move. She's been with the seer all night. Everyone is concerned."

"We're leaving," I'd just finished tying my second boot on. I grabbed up our bags. We only stopped long enough to thank our hosts and leave.

We ran to pick up the horse from the stable and my hands shook as I saddled it. I had to pause to take a deep breath before I helped Noriko onto the horse. Holding her helped me to get back to some level of stability. We'd only made it into the hills above the flower town when Keimos appeared in the sky above us, frightening the horse badly.

To have Noriko name the demon I'd felt increase in power the evening before with that name had shaken me badly. I'd felt a pain in my back that evening and checked it early this morning in front of a mirror when no one else was awake. The scales in the center of my back had returned rather suddenly and painfully -- perhaps at the moment the seers knew the Source of All Evil had begun to move. 

When Noriko came to me in the temple and saved me from the final form of the Sky Demon, all of the scales on my body disappeared. Even those on my back and arms that I had from childhood. This demon can affect me without me even knowing it. What is it's power?

Noriko says that my changes are brought about by fear and anger. The evil being done all over the world is increasing the fear of the good people of the world by strong emotions of anger and greed in others. Demons feed on those kinds of emotions. Has this demon finally eaten enough from all over the world to believe it now has the strength to defeat me, and through my own anger and fear? I draw in a sharp breath. If I want to live through this, I'll have to control those as much as possible. That will be difficult.

As I leap down another hallway to my right, still seeking the way out, I dodge Keimos' attack at the same time. The attack shatters chunks of marble from the end of the hallway I just left. I take in a deep breath and set my worry for Noriko aside. It doesn't sound like the man wants to kill her just yet. She's strong and has her own skills and courage. I'll trust her to take care of herself for now.

Just that much calms me enough that I attack Keimos to keep him back again. Still, the tear in my forehead opens a little more. I turn and keep moving, but I've run to a dead end. I press my hands against the wall, frustrated, wishing I could push it down like I pushed down the wall in the caves so we could exit them. One more time I reach for the wind and am finally rewarded with the scent of not just dust, ancient dirt, and tree roots, but also wet earth and faintly -- fresh air.

I spin around, looking for the opening. I find it -- a small square in the wall as if a vent to a roof or other surface -- behind Keimos. His look is triumphant and mocking. So are his words. He gathers energy, more than ever before.

Without me wanting it, my body throbs again and it wants to change. I'm able to hold it like I held the painful transformations before, but the Sky Demon is straining to be let out. I'll have to fight myself as much as Keimos, and it would be far better to simply defend myself from Keimos than actually fight him. Then I'll be able to focus my energy on fighting the Sky Demon.

As his attack comes at me, I'm up on the wall, and running along it above the energy fireball that slams into the wall at the dead end with a great crashing. I'm unable to get through the hole to the surface then. Keimos is already waiting for me.

Our energy shields clash as he uses his to attack me and mine. I hold it, needing him to stay at a distance, while I run down the wall of the hallway. I'll have to break free and double back, but in these hallways it may not be possible. Still, I look for the path to take to save myself, and save the world.

We left the town of the Flower Festival this morning, quickly, but it already feels like years ago. During the night the seer of the town had called for the mayor. They told me the next morning that he'd said the "source of all evil" had begin to move. I immediately turned and ran back to Izark and my bag. We left without even eating breakfast, only barely getting in a thank you to our hosts. Izark had indeed alerted an enemy that we were here, somehow.

We were north of the town, headed for places with no population, when the horse had balked. Even I could feel the malevolence in the air. As the horse bucked, Izark grabbed me and lept off its back, freeing it to run. We both thought at the time we'd be able to retrieve it after Izark had dealt with whatever was coming.

When the air above us warped and a man stepped through, that was almost more than my mind could handle, even for all the strange things I'd seen. If a man could come through space, we could be taken through space. I was terrified. It wasn't unfounded. It was how I came to be here.

The man knew Izark, and he knew we were the Awakening and Sky Demon, and he wanted to kill Izark. What I just saw says he's likely capable of it, and has almost succeeded. The man didn't have any problems with killing me either. Izark protected me, but had to hide me to be able to fight. He found a place that was good, but not good enough. I found one I liked better: a little gully with an overhang of rock and bushes in front. It still wasn't enough.

Not only did they know where to find me without trouble, they knew I had a knife and weren't afraid to damage me in order to disarm me. Izark knew I'd been damaged, and was angry, but he was having trouble with his opponent, who wouldn't let up. It was their plan, of course. He was kept busy long enough for the men who'd come after me to take me through the space warp and away from Izark.

I'd fought as best I could, kicking and biting even, had gotten loose in the new place, played rabbit dodge with them, trying to get to the picture on the wall that led back to Izark, ignoring everything said to me, until I was almost free.

I was headed for the picture, nothing in my way, when I ran into a wall. I'm pretty sure it was an energy barrier like what Izark uses to protect us. I turned to run again, to go around it if I could, and it became a circular cage around me that became small enough I could only hold still.

A man, almost as gorgeous as Izark and looking like his brother with long black silky hair held back in a leather thong, but as cold and evil as a dark Eastern dragon, walked up to me. I froze under his gaze: the rabbit looking at the irritated cobra.

"You are a bit of trouble, aren't you? But I need you in order to control the Sky Demon. We'll be sending you to another place for now. If you'll behave we won't kill you. If you insist on staying trouble, we'll remove you. Am I clear?"

Only this statement to me makes me have any hope Izark won't be actually dead by the time I reach him. That man doesn't want him actually dead, and he's the Ganandorf of this world. Even the man who was fighting Izark has to obey him.

I have to hold on to the hope this is the first time we meet Ganandorf. That we can get away this time to become strong enough to defeat him ...find the master sword and the triforce before he captures us again. But first I have to get us un-captured.

I run to the window. I'm up high. The only way down is to jump. There are trees, but they're far enough from the window I'm sure I can't reach them. The only thing in my favor is that I know that the people who are guarding me have to keep me alive. They've already bound my wound, and commented on their frustration at having to keep the hell cat (me) caged and whole.

I'm also quickly going through in my mind what my other benefits are. There are two chimos here, on the shoulders of the man, Doros, that helped Tazasheena. If I could get hold of one of them, I might be able to get to Izark a lot faster than if I had to run eight miles. Stealing a horse would also be an option, if I can get down.

It's tempting to get them to open the door and try to run through the house, but the men who are guarding me know what to do to prevent that now, and my nemesis is here. When I saw Tazasheena, I understood how it was they found me so easily -- and knew I had the knife. She hadn't forgotten my injury to her and slapped me for it when I arrived in the basement of this manor house, or castle, or whatever it is.

I kicked her back, knocking her to her ample derrière. The men holding me tightly to prevent me from running again laughed, enjoying the cat fight. They didn't let her hit me again, though.

I climb out the window. "Hold on, Izark. Hold on. I'm coming." Pushing down hard the sudden fearful recollection of falling from the cliff face, I slide along the ledge on the outside wall of the building. I'm headed for the next window.

I'm only about a third of the way when a head sticks out the first window. "Hey! Get back here!" Like hell I will. Come bring me a chimo. I keep moving until they finally do start talking about chimos. I want to see how they're going to land on the ledge with me, but decide to jump for the tree instead. Another head has just popped out of the other window, so I'm blocked.

Once again I have no choice but to attack Keimos to get him to back off, to give myself time to breathe, to give my body time to heal. His attacks are doing damage now, and he broke my arm when he got his hands on me.

The horn rips through almost as soon as the attack has left my hands. It's as painful as always when I'm not in control of it because it's too sudden. That blinds me temporarily, but we're almost to the large atrium again -- really not where I wanted to be herded back to. Can I find another hallway on the other side and go around again?

I hear Keimos chuckling behind me, but ignore it. There's a low rumble, and then Keimos is laughing. As his laughter increases into a full exultant sound, I can hear things around me ripping and the heavy air in this place is being stirred, but not by wind.

I leap down a broad staircase and find I'm in a different atrium than the one I was in originally. I don't know where this is. I hope I can find the exit again. There's motion around me and I stare in surprise as the roots that cover this place rip out from the wall and ceiling and move as if living things. There's a plant energy? I hadn't thought there was one. Or is it part of earth energy?

The large roots, as large as the roots in the Sea of Trees and larger because of their age, begin to attack me. They have a lot of power as well, and there are so many that I have a hard time dodging the attacks that want to slam me to the ground and pin me down. I'm tiring, having to dodge them, and having fought so hard already. Everything I have is focused on not turning into the Sky Demon now.

Keimos yells at me, telling me I have no hope, but his voice barely registers. I head for space where the roots are smaller, trying to hold on to the one thought that there is an escape, but I can barely remember what that escape is or where. I only know I'm searching for it. The Sky Demon will take control soon.

Pain shoots through me as a tapered tree root slams into me, spearing me, and my body is frozen in shock. To draw in a breath is excruciating. The root lifts me into the air and slams into a root large enough to be a narrow bed for me, pinning me. Keimos' cry of triumph is followed by more smaller tree roots slamming into me to pin me more closely to the large root behind me. Both shoulders, an arm, a leg, my core yet again.

I try to draw on my strength to destroy the roots and instead Keimos' energy attack, as great as the one I used against the woman who told me that Noriko would be sacrificed for her blood, slams into me. I'm able to hold the shield for a time, then my energy is too sapped and his attack breaks through.

I scream as blood sprays out of the wounds and then is expelled out of my mouth. The total overwhelming pain adds to the almost lost state I was already in, but I can no longer draw on any strength or energy. I have nothing left. Slowly the physical changes on me fade and I'm again only human in form. The body gives up, but inside there is still me, I still cannot die.

Keimos is no longer worried and approaches me to grab me by the hair and gloat in my face. "You don't look so good, Izark. I'm impressed that you're still alive, though. You are a real monster. Now you know that you were born only to be used by humans."

To go along with the rumble of the enlivened roots, there is now a calling sound. "Hey, you hear that?" Keimos points it out, "It's calling you. Ready? From now on, you serve us." The roots begin to move, to take us from here to where they want me to be.

I glare at him. With my lungs not functional, there's no talking. I'm not dead, so I still haven't given in to them yet. I don't know what they can do to me. Perhaps the demon can take over my body, but as long as there is me in here, I will not become the Sky Demon. I've decided it.

I close my eyes. What can I do? Holding still is resting. The roots still in me make it difficult to heal, but the energy damage done after that is healing already. If all I can do is heal, then that's what I'll do.

Of course the tree is too far. Maybe a second drop from this far like last time from the hair monster won't hurt any more than that one.

I don't get to find out. I'm snatched out of the air. Damn chimos. We're on the ground, then moving again, and again, and again, until we're in an alley. This has not gone how I'd thought at all and my head is spinning, trying to understand.

The man Doros is the one taking me away from the place I'm supposed to be captive in. He's paused here to rest and is telling me to synchronize with him. "I can see Izark. Will that work?"

"Uhh.... Have you ever done it before? Synchronize with chimos?" He seems to be a naturally born slow person, although suddenly I see a natural gentleness I couldn't see before.

"No, but if it's only desire, I have a lot of that."

He considers it for a long time (on my clock), then says, "No, it won't work. We'll appear right in front of Lord Rachef. That would be very bad. We need to go to the entrance and sneak in. I'll do it. Hold on to me and only picture me."

We're in a field. Doros shivers. "This is harder than I expected. I didn't know it would take so --" he begins to face plant and I grab him so he ends up on the ground a little softer, although he's too heavy for me to keep upright, "-- much energy."

He looks like death warmed over. I'm on my knees next to him, wishing for my bag and the herbs in it. "We're only half way there. Got to do it one more time. Got to show them what I'm made of. They can't make fun of Doros any more." He scowls, trying to get back up, but his arms tremble even with the effort to be moved at all.

"Mister Doros, please. You've already done more than enough. Please rest. I don't want you to die. If you do it again, you won't be alive at the other end. Thank you. Thank you so much." Tears start falling from my eyes, a reaction and response to many emotions that suddenly swirl up in me.

I hold his hand between mine, wanting comfort and wanting to comfort him. "I'm sorry I can't stay to help you. Please forgive me. Izark is also almost dead and I made him a promise. It would be enough if you would let me have one of the chimos. I'm not afraid to go directly to Izark. It's where I want to be; where I need to be. Please."

"Izark! Izark!" It's Noriko and she sounds closer, clearer. Then I'm seeing her. She's kneeling next to a man flat on his stomach, holding his hand and crying. He has two of the animals sitting on his back that can transport people through space. 

Did she escape? The thought she's coming here frightens me again. Don't. Don't come here. Here is too dangerous. Stay free. Run and flee. I hurt, though. Never has she done that once. Always she's come to me anyway, regardless of the danger to her. It's always been to my blessing. Why? Why does she come? Why does she love me, a monster?

"That is not a good idea, Noriko. You would be as Doros is now when you arrived." I whip my head around looking for the source of the words.

"Irktule!? What are you doing here? You can leave your tree and forest?" Irktule is standing above me in the air. I can see glimpses of the other spirits around him, flickering in and out of visual sight.

"I felt the movement of the Source of Evil and had to come, to do what I could to prevent it. I didn't expect to find you and Izark in the middle of it, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised."

He looks at me for a moment, judging me. "I'm not so sure taking the Awakening to the Sky Demon is the right thing to be doing, but you helped me. If that is truly what you want we'll help you. The spirits and I can feed our energy into Doros enough that he could reach the mouth of the place you want to go to. He'll have to stay with us until his body recovers, though."

"Please, Irktule, Doros. Please help me," I beg them both. Doros nods and Irktule and the spirits hover over him until he rises. Taking my arm again, we teleport one more time.

As I watch Noriko, she looks up from the man and into the air above her. It looks like she's talking to someone. Is there another spirit helping her? With a nod, she lets go of the man and he sits up, then rises to his feet. Noriko stands and they hold hands again, then are gone. Then I see her again. This time above a hole in the ground and I can feel she's very close. That man and the spirit have brought her here.

As she thanks them and then prepares to enter the hole, I cry out in my mind, "No, Noriko! Don't come. Stay free!" But she doesn't hear me.

We're in front of a small hole in the ground. "Noriko, you must go there, but we can't come with you. The evil is too strong. You will be alone."

I smile a bright smile at Irktule. "No. I will be with Izark." My heart is pounding. I actually made it. I hope I made it in time. Is the force of good helping us again? If so, I'm grateful.

I'm sliding down a dirt slide, just barely big enough for me. I come out the end and fall a short distance to the ground. Looking around I find I've fallen into an ancient hallway of a buried building. Roots and dirt are everywhere, and as I brush myself off, an evil chill passes by me.

I take in a sharp breath, and can feel other cold things moving about. They make no noise, and I can only assume they're spirits of people who died in this place but are still evil, not recovered like Irktule's people. I take a deep breath and run towards Izark as fast as my legs can carry me.

This time I hear her. "No. I will be with Izark." Her smile radiates her warmth and love. She enters the hole and I lose the vision. But I remember her. I remember her love, her faith in my goodness, her tender warmth.

What does she see when she looks at me? What does she love? I try to see it, what she sees, and deep inside of me I discover something I hadn't looked at before.

I've never honestly looked at myself. I've believed what people have told me and run from it. I've hated and feared what I am, but I am what I am. I have love for my friends and the beauty of nature. Noriko healed my lonely soul and I was able to smile and laugh again.

If I'm only a demon of destruction, then where do these emotions come from? If I'm a monster, how can I have any human emotions at all? In my eyes as a child, I understood I was as human as everyone around me. Why did I believe their words to the contrary? What am I?

The hand of my unpinned arm flinches as muscles are repaired. I only need to have the roots gone and I'll be able to be whole again. "Drop him, Keimos! Drop him from the tree. He will be taken by that great power and he'll become the Sky Demon! He will make us the rulers of the whole planet!"

Not. Not even that man can make that choice for me. Yes, do drop me. I'll finish healing and fight even the Source of All Evil to not become what it wants me to become. I can love and I do love. I choose to protect this planet. I am not the Sky Demon of the prophecy!

The very words well up as a strong force from within my core and I can feel that power healing me, as if it's the source of my healing. The demon below me is suddenly disturbed, but I don't care. It should be.

This is a large open atrium area and there's a balcony railing in front of me. Izark is there. I run up and look over. Izark is just being released from the tree roots and being dropped into darkness below. Without thought, I'm up on the railing and leaping for him. "Izark!" my whole heart and being are crying out for him, my arms reaching for him.

"Izark!" My eyes snap open and Noriko is above me. Sigh. She's jumped again without thought, her only thought that she must be with me.

As cries of men come to my ears, my eyes are only on his. His expression goes from one of grief and stunned amazement to calm resolution as his hands also reach for me. There's a great flash of light that comes from Izark that blinds me temporarily.

The power that's within me surges out, powerful but gentle. I reach out my arms and catch Noriko, holding her closely to me, glad she's finally in my arms again. I look upward and with a thought we're flying upward with great speed. My shield is strong and punches through the building we're in until it's gone, far below us.

When I can see again I can't believe it as white angel wings unfold from his back, soft and fluffy but made of light. If he has a fifth stage, this is it. I'm seeing the full Izark in his full strength.

He's full of bloody, gaping holes, but he catches me effortlessly. With one flap of those wings we're exploding out of the buried building and flying up into the air far above it. One flap. I wonder how much damage one flap of the wings in the fourth stage did. Their power is overwhelming. I look down and there's a crater the size of a house below us.

I look around and find a place far enough away to reach and hide in, although it's still in the woods around the buried building. I haven't much time. The healing is quick and I need to be on the ground.

I settle us gently to the ground, making sure Noriko is stable on her feet, then my body is collapsing, coughing up the blood that pooled in my lungs and stomach. Once that's out, then the final rebuilding of my body can happen.

Izark is allowing us to float back down towards the edge of the forest that surrounds where we came out. I stare at the wings, spellbound. He touches down to the ground and sets me down. The wings disappear and he's crumpling and coughing up blood.

"Izark! Izark! Don't die, Izark!" I'm panicked, although I shouldn't be, I suppose. Even for him, this is really bad.

I grasp hold of her wrist. "I won't," I manage to gasp out, air finally being available to my lungs. She's trembling. I wish to comfort her, but my body has other ideas, and is too weak to move.

He has to get any blood out of his lungs and stomach that got trapped when they healed closed again, I'm aware, but this is still more than I can take, seeing the reality of what my vision showed me.

"Izark," I moan miserably.

"I'm okay," he says just before toppling over. I hold onto his hand.

"He doesn't look okay. They're going to come get him and he won't be able to fight back. We'll help Doros transport you away from here and protect you both so they can't find him. He refused to join the evil. He is worthy of protecting."

I look up at Irktule, tears streaming down my face. "Sheshe."

Chapter Text

The sounds and smells of being in a forest near a campfire come to me first as I drift up to consciousness. A weight is on my forehead. My body feels heavy, weak, and there are aches everywhere. My breathing is odd, as if I'm trying to breathe around a few lumps of bread dough -- one in each lung -- but I am breathing. Somehow, I feel very fortunate.

A man's voice says, "Noriko, I'll go forage for food. Here's the water." There are sounds near me.

"Thank you, Doros," I hear from over my head. I wait until the man has gone again, then slowly open my eyes. 

It's as I'd wished and hoped for. Noriko is the first thing I see as I raise my eyes. Her face is drawn, worried. "Izark," she says with the same in her voice, laced with tender hope. It's her hand that's on my forehead, and her lap is under my head. I am content to know that she is with me and we are safe for now.

"What happened?" I ask.

She bites her lip and her brows furrow. "Do you remember anything? ...No. Don't remember it. You need to rest, not feel all of that again. You'll remember it when your body's ready to remember it. I will tell you that you fought against something that wanted to turn you into the Sky Demon and you escaped. We're safe."

Little bits and pieces, flashes of memory come to me, but I don't force them. She's right. I don't want to remember them when I'm feeling this bad. But..., "How did we escape?"

At that her worry erases like the lightening of the clouds after the thunderstorm is passed. Her hand brushes my forehead lightly. "You grew wings of light -- great soft feather wings. The power you had to take us out of that place was amazing. I believe it's your final level, a level of light and gentleness."

My eyes widen, staring at her. There is no way the final level of the Sky Demon is good like that. "You're lying." The words are from my lips before I know what was coming. I immediately put a hand to my mouth. The other arm doesn't move, but I'm not paying attention to that.

I move my hand from my mouth to hold it out in front of me between me and her expression. "I'm sorry," I say as contritely as possible. "I know you wouldn't. It's that surely that's impossible." My arm slumps to my chest, too weak to stay up.

"What do you remember from that time?" she asks me. I close my eyes and try to remember. "You caught me as I was falling down to reach you. They came out of your back when you looked into my eyes so that you wouldn't keep falling. One flap took us through at least two floors and the roof of the building and high into the air. The hole from that explosive exit was over one-hundred feet in diameter."

I'm remembering holding her in my arms and feeling a great peaceful strength, and remembering her worry as I collapsed at her feet to expel the blood so I could finish healing, but nothing else. "I don't remember enough. But I do remember the strength. You're right that it was a good strength, not one based on anger or fear." I try to remember more, but my mind is as tired as my body. "I can't remember it," I say weakly.

"Rest. Sleep. Keep healing. Maybe you'll remember, but..., maybe not. Sometimes during a traumatic situation, where survival is critical, such strengths appear and then disappear again until through your practice you learn it properly." She bends down to kiss my forehead. "I'm grateful it's there and you were able to save us. In time that can be what you are, if you want it and keep looking for it."

Her warm kiss and kind words follow me into the healing sleep I need.

Doros has recovered enough to go and forage for food in the forest by the time Izark is awake and looking at me again. I tell him what I saw, but he can't remember it, the time he spent in the fifth stage. After such trauma, it isn't surprising.

I want him to be holding me, so I can feel his warm arms telling me he is really okay, that we are okay. I pull up my knees and wrap my arms around them and hug myself that way, turning away from him so he doesn't also have to bear the burden of my tears finally beginning to leak out. He has healed enough that the skin is beginning to grow back, but it still looks young and raw. 

The next time I wake up Noriko is sitting next to me. She looks very weary. I don't know how long I've been recovering, but it looks like she hasn't slept and needs to. Before I can say anything, she's seen me looking and she smiles at me. "Are you hungry?" 

"No." I've not recovered enough yet for that, but I can tell the worst of it is over.

Noriko gives a tired nod. "Doros found some food in the forest. He's washing and preparing it now. You can let him or me know when you're hungry. We can save some for you."

I shake my head. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Okay." She pulls her knees up to her chest and leans on them, wrapping her arms around them. She turns her head away from me, laying it on her knees as if she'll fall asleep. I know there are likely still tears left inside her to cry. She doesn't look like she's relaxed at all. To go this long without resting or being able to relax, she must be very weary.

I reach for her, then pinch her to get her attention, making sure my expression tells her how much I need her. She jumps and looks at me in surprise. "I need to see your face, Noriko. Don't look away from me."

Surprise is on her face, then the heat slowly rises until she's blushing brightly. That's what I wanted, something to distract her from her worry. And a little reward for me. 

It may be true, his words, but they are also right in line with his romanticism. The heat slowly rises to my face until I'm blushing brightly. A sparkle comes to his eyes at my reaction, and I'm suddenly glad he's feeling well enough to find the usual humor in the situation.

The fighting spirit comes up in her and she gets the look on her face that says I'll get my turn. She lies down right next to me with her face right in front of mine so if I should need to see it, really, there's no getting away from it. "Is this better then?" she asks me. It's my turn to blush since to answer it I would have to admit it is and that's harder for me. She gives me her teasing grin back, taking her turn to enjoy my embarrassment. 

It quickly turns back to sorrow, although it's a relaxed sorrow this time, and she sighs. "Izark, I'm glad you're the Sky Demon." She takes my hand and pulls it up to hold it close to her, as she does when she needs comfort and I won't or can't hold her in my arms. "If you weren't, you would be dead from that. I couldn't bear it if you'd died. Your powers allowed you to come back to me."

It's another, different way to look at what I am and I let it be added to the little things being changed about me. Then I remember more about the time right before she was in my arms and we were escaping. "You're right. As I was trying to understand why you were coming for me, why I was even fighting to not become the destroyer they want me to become, I learned that there is something deeper inside of me than the Sky Demon, something that loves and cares, not just something that fears or is angry.

"I was finally able to see that something that will allow me to become more than just the Sky Demon. As soon as I really saw it, I felt great energy flow out of me, then I was outside with you in the woods. I want to understand what I saw then. To see it again and tap into it. I think that is the answer we're seeking."

I'm looking at him -- in awe again, I'm sure. "I hope you can soon, Izark. If it was the fifth and final stage, the stage you always want to be, then I hope you can. But if you can't even remember it, and it came under such extreme stress, it may take a long time.

"Sometimes a level born that way returns to being hidden until the other levels are understood and controlled well enough." My eyes begin to close. "I will hope to see it again. It will come."

We've survived the first encounter with Ganandorf and escaped. Izark has been shown where the master sword and triforce are. Now comes the recovery and the long search to find and master them. Then the final boss battle. There's time. Irktule has joined us and will protect us until we're ready. For now, I must sleep and recover.

As Noriko falls asleep finally, I think that she must be very tired, to have forgotten she already told me that. It's okay to be reminded, though. Her faith in even that is encouraging.

There are the sounds of rustling and I hear the man who's been with us. "Just give me a bit, Noriko, and the food will be ready soon. ...Eh?" He's seen she's lying down, sleeping.

"It's okay, Doros. She just needs to get her own rest now," I say. He blinks at me, then a bit longer after I was expecting him to, he finally gives a nod and turns to the fire.

He's holding the front of his shirt up like an apron, large leaves peaking over the top. Likely he'll wrap those around the food he's found. I sigh. It won't be very filling. Berries, nuts, and roots, most likely. Foraging is not the best way to get energy, and I suspect Noriko will need more than that.

Surprisingly, she eats more than most people I know, unless they're wealthy and are used to buying all the food they want. Not that she overeats, it's just more than most. I didn't understand that the first few days. She didn't eat any more than we do, and sometimes a little less, but she told me it was because she was so upset. She had to relax to be able to eat. It isn't too dissimilar from when I need to recover and heal.

She said in her world food is easy to grow in quantity because they have [machines], powered tools to help them grow it. Then they have ways to transport it all over the world very fast, so people don't have to go hungry. Then she'd gotten sad. "But some countries don't care about their people. Maybe the wealthy in those countries get to eat, but they don't let their people have it. Either they won't share, or they make it too expensive because they want the money." That sounded like here, even if the machines aren't.

As Doros works on preparing the food to eat, I ask him to tell me the story of who he is and how he came to help Noriko, and thus me. It surprises me a little that he isn't afraid of me as he slowly tells the story. He knows what I am, given where he came from. But then, I am incapable of moving, so I'm not much of a threat, and the "chimos" -- the animals that transport people -- practically live on his shoulders, as if he's their handler, which I learn he is.

Doros bred chimos for the man who wanted to own me, Rachef. Rachef is a leader in this country, which I learn is Rienka. That makes my heart fall. We're on the east continent. Before we were brought here, we were in the middle of the west continent. Rachef reached far to capture us. It will take us a long time to get back to where we were, and we have nothing with us. The horse ran and took the bags with it. I'd thought we'd only have to fetch it once I was done fighting Keimos.

Doros tells me that Rachef killed all but these two chimos, using their blood and special ability to create the holes between spaces: a small one from the buried temple to Rachef's palace where they hid Noriko, and the large one to cross the continents and the sea. The pain in his voice as he talks about the chimos' deaths tells me he loved them and that he's more comfortable with animals than people. Likely his slow way of thinking and speaking make others place him as beneath notice.

Tazasheena did indeed go to Rachef, by boat which is why we had the time we did. The other old man I saw is Rachef's trusted seer, Gorya. The two seers worked together to create the link from here to where we were, but Tazasheena hates Gorya out of jealousy. Doros says that Noriko did fight, wanting to be with me, tried to convince them to let her go free just that much.

He gets a little smile of vindication on his face, for all he's still focused on his work in front of him. "Tazasheena slapped her and Noriko kicked her flat on her backside. It was funny to see the little girl fight the queen of snobs. The men didn't let them fight after that, since they weren't supposed to let Noriko get hurt."

He gets lost in his memory and work for a bit. The first wrapped package is tossed into the coals and he begins again. "They said hurtful things to me, when I was most sad and angry. I could understand why Noriko was angry, and I could tell she was sad and worried about you. Her screams when she saw you nearly die were awful.

"When she tried so hard to get to you, even jumping from the third floor of the house, I had to help her, to show them all that they couldn't keep walking on people who tried hard and had things they cared about, too."

I'm in some shock. She saw that? No wonder she's been so tense and worried. That makes me sad, and worried, that she saw Keimos injure me that way. She's seen me fight now, but that doesn't mean such a thing wouldn't harm her. I reach up and place my hand gently on her head, leaving it there to comfort both of us.

I wonder if she'll ever stop jumping from high places, and just what I've done to her to addle her sense of self-preservation so much in that fall from the cliff. I'm grateful Doros was there with the chimos to catch her. "Thank you for going to so much trouble for us, Doros. I know you won't be able to go back there again."

Doros smiles as he stuffs the bowl of leaves with the food he found. "That's okay. It was my choice. ...I wanted to help her. I have no regrets." He works on the food for a bit. "Maybe... maybe it was the first time I did anything on my own. All my life I just wanted people to like me. I'm so slow and stupid, you know. So I tried hard to be accepted." That sounds like me and what I was thinking about as Noriko came to be with me. 

"But this time, I didn't care what anybody thought. I helped Noriko without thinking. Then Noriko thanked me." He pauses and looks up at the sky, only his eyes are closed as he remembers. "How can I explain it? I felt so glad to be alive." He looks at me. "You guys made me feel that way. S-so you don't need to feel you owe me anything." The package of food goes on the fire as I ponder his words. Even if I were up and walking, he wouldn't care. He's felt Noriko's peace and has applied it by extension to me because she loves me.

I look around the clearing in the woods we're in and again am shocked. "Irktule?!" He floats over from the rock he was sitting on to hang in the air where we can see more eye to eye.

"It's good to see you are feeling better, Izark," he says. "You were not okay. But you chose the light, so I've been willing to help. Anyone who will fight the Source of Evil is worthy of protection. I've been shielding you so the seers can't find you. I'll stay with you until you know what you'll do to fight him."

"Thank you, Irktule," I say sincerely. "I don't know how long that will be. I'm still learning to control my powers and my fear. We have so much still to learn."

Irktule nods his head. "Noriko said it might take a long time still. That's okay. It's worth it for our world to not have you broken by that evil."

"I'm in complete agreement, Irktule. Absolute, complete agreement," I sigh. It's a little depressing to know that Rachef and the demon he's working for will continue to hunt for me until they find me again, but now that I know who they are, and how bad it will be, I don't have the worries of those unknowns sitting inside me any more. With a goal in mind, and things I can do to get there, I'm able to combat the other worries of that part of my future for now.

"We can't stay out here for long," I say. "Noriko will need real food and we both need clothing. Is there a village nearby, where we can safely show ourselves?" Irktule looks thoughtful, then turns away. He gives orders, I presume to the spirits of the White Mist Forest or others, to go hunting. Then he returns to sit on the rock. He seems just a bit flighty, but then he was never human. Who knows what trees really understand and see?

"Doros, do you have any coin? All of our supplies are on the west continent. And where is my belt?"

Doros gets up and walks to the other side of me, past Noriko. He comes back with my belt and hands it to me. I search through it until I've searched through all of my hidden storage places. Only one gold coin. That's going to be a problem. Other than that there is only the sheath of my sword.

When Keimos and I fought on the hills outside of the flower town we started as before, with energy attacks and power attacks focused through our swords. On one particularly violent clash of sword-on-sword, we landed and both swords disintegrated, practically to dust. That's why we were fighting hand to hand in the temple. I shudder just slightly, not wanting to remember the difficulty of that fight. I'll have to become a lot stronger to do that again. Strong enough to completely control the Sky Demon's power.

"I don't have any coin on me," Doros tells me, having carefully searched his own person. "I left too fast, because Noriko was falling."

"That's okay," I reassure him. "I would rather have Noriko alive. I can sell my sheath. It's a nice one. And I've got the one gold. Maybe that would be enough to get us each one set of clothing. We'll need to find work, though. She and I need to return to the west continent. I'd like to be as far away from Rachef as possible, to make it hard for him to do that again."

Doros nods. "I can help." I don't say anything but I'm grateful. I suspect that like Barago followed us, Doros will, too.

That makes me think of something. "Does Rachef know our names?"

"...Yes," Doros says.

"That will be a problem then. We need to stay hidden, and if we say our names out loud any spy will know how to find us and where we're going." Doros takes a while to work that out and nod. "Can you start practicing now calling us by other names so when we're in public we aren't given away?"

Doros nods. "I'll try hard," he promises.

"Then will you be Barago?" I wait for him to learn the name. When he seems to have it, I say, "I'm Kizak. Kizak."

 Doros works at that. "It's kind of hard because they're the same."

"Well, I was hoping it would be easier because of that," I say.

When he thinks of it like that, it seems he can remember better. "And there was a little girl who we knew that Noriko liked and who liked her very much. Please call Noriko ‘Geena'."

He tips his head with a little surprise. "I've heard of a Geena." When he's done with his musing, he nods. "Okay. Geena. Kizak. Barago." I nod at him and we practice the names for a bit. I'll also need to work at remembering them. We'll help Noriko with it when she wakes up, but she's the most smart of the three of us, so it will probably be easy for her.

Chapter Text

Irktule's spirits found us a quiet farming community to hide in, even finding a family that's been willing to help us. Doros went with Irktule to ask if we can work for them and to buy clothes from them.

Their son is still living with them to help them, as they are an older couple. Their daughter got married a short while ago and lives in her husband's house. Doros is staying with them, helping them farm to earn his money. Noriko and I are staying in the daughter's old bedroom.

I'm feeling better, more normal, although I can tell my energies are still low. I'm still awake at my usual time to be awake tonight, but it feels good to just lie here with nothing to do, and nothing to worry about now that we have a roof over our heads and a bed, and something helpful to do to earn our coin. We're lucky that it's just coming on to harvest time and they can use extra arms and backs.

Noriko shifts and a small sound escapes her. She's slept each night very close to me. With a gasp, her eyes are suddenly open. I sit up slightly to see her better. "A nightmare?" 

I wake from yet another nightmare. The first night I sat next to Izark unable to sleep at all. Every time I closed my eyes I saw him gouged with pointy roots, blood spraying everywhere all over again. He was mostly passed out, although he'd healed. His body needed time to recover more than just regrowing cells. The second night I passed out from sheer exhaustion, but still had awoken in terror when I reached dream stage early in the morning.

Tonight we're in a new place, a roof over our heads again, a makeshift bed of blankets under us, clean clothes not torn. I'd hoped to rest well. The nightmares are more fanciful now. Perhaps I'm recovering on some level ...maybe.

I wish I knew more about PTSD. I'm sure my reactions are similar. It wasn't the first time I've seen Izark fight and cause blood to spurt out of things. It's just the first time I've seen it happen to Izark, and so gruesomely. Having it be an unexpected event probably is part of it as well. At first I would huddle close to him, trembling, needing to know he was close and warm and breathing and living and... well, you know. Now it's getting old for me even.

Tonight, he isn't asleep yet when I've woken, more like normal. He doesn't sleep much, usually, maybe five hours a night. I don't think he's really recovered yet but that much is perhaps a good sign. He sits up slightly. "A nightmare?" 

Ah, he's too close and we're sleeping, technically, in the same bed. I can't prevent the blush. To hide it I roll away from him. "I'm sorry. I'll be still." But I can't stop the trembling. Traitor body

He tucks the blanket around me and gives me a light kiss on the cheek. I've grabbed his hand before he can move away, keeping him close. Traitor body again. Just sleep already. "I'm sorry, Izark. I can't stop having them."

I lie down close enough to her to hold her in my arms. Slowly her trembling calms. "I'm sorry, Noriko," I say softly, wishing I could help her forget.

I shake my head. "It's my fault for looking, and picking a bad time to do it. I just wish they would go away. It's not helping me to not sleep."

He quietly holds me until I finally do fall asleep again. He really is a good man. There aren't very many men who can withhold from doing more when the woman they love is in their arms all night, helplessly asleep or needy. I'm grateful. This really isn't a good time to add that confusion to the mix.

All I can do is to quietly hold her so she knows that right now I'm alive and well, and so is she. Eventually she does fall asleep again. I kiss the back of her head gently, once again wishing I could give her a thing she needs that I can't give to her.

I still don't know why we're both helped by being in the other's arms. All I do know is that the peace that comes is healing. I'm glad she asked for it tonight. Last night was worrisome, and I'm quite sure she didn't sleep at all the night before. 

The next morning we're up early to begin working on the farm we've come to. The couple has been very nice to us. They have a daughter who just got married. Doros -- we're calling him Barago for safety's sake -- has gone to her and her husband's place to work on the harvest. We're here, where their mostly--grown son is still living with them and helping them.

Izark and I have been given the daughter's old room while we work to earn the money to continue on to the next place. They've also given me her old clothes she's outgrown and the son has given up a few outfits to Izark. They fit funny so I've been altering them when there's time.

It turns out that not only can we not get our horse and things, we're on the eastern continent. We got taken a long distance from where we were. I'm worried. That was the outfits I made for me and Izark, all of my journals, and a lot of gold still.

I hope somehow we're able to retrieve our things, but mostly I'm grateful we still have our lives and each other. I'm not sure what's next for us, but I do think some physical labor might help for now -- if for nothing other than to make me sleep better.

"Geena, you're putting your hair up today?" the son asks. I glance at him and nod. I so do not need another Banadam around.

Izark takes my tie from between my lips. "Here, let me help you with that," he says softly. He must agree with me on that particular point.

"Thank you, Kizak." I let my hand linger on him before we part to our individual chores. He's to help the son at first and I'm to go with the parents to the field. I follow them, but Izark isn't doing too well. I don't think he's recovered enough yet.

The next morning we're up early to begin working on the farm we've come to. When I walk out of the house, the son, Evan, is talking to ‘Geena'. She's putting up her hair in a short braid today to keep it out of her way. It's gotten rather long compared to the shoulder length it was the day we met. I take the tie out of her mouth and help her, being close and familiar.

Evan scowls. I hope I've sent the message early enough so he'll back off. I don't know what it is with all these young men who see us so obviously together -- we even slept in the same room and bed for goodness sake -- yet think they can woo her while I stand here. Noriko relaxes as he turns away. She also must be feeling the same way, given how angry she became towards Banadam.

Evan wants to make me pay after that display. He's too jealous for something he never had to begin with. He hands me two sacks of potatoes that we need to move from the packaging room to the barn. I should be able to lift them easily, but they slip from my hands and fall to the ground, nearly taking me with them. I blink in surprise. I wasn't expecting to still be so weak. "Ah, I'll just do one at a time, today."

He grumbles at me that I should be able to do the two easily, but it's rather obvious I can't today. I'm confused. I'm not feeling that weak, not like I do when I can barely stand, or when I know that the weakness is about to come on me. It's feeling a bit backwards, actually. I'm feeling a lot better than the last three days and I know I should be recovering.

When we have the potatoes moved, he takes me to join Noriko and his parents in the field. They've taught Noriko how to use the hand scythe to cut the grain. While Evan goes off to another chore, the farmer teaches me to scythe and we all work together cutting in this field where they can teach us what to do with the cut grain.

We learn how to make the sheaves, tying the cut ends. Then they're laid on poles to dry. When they're dry enough they'll be gathered again into a high-sided wagon to be taken to the threshing barn. We'll learn to do that and gather the grains into bags later, when the first cut crop is ready.

I learn to cut the grains at a normal slow pace. When I think I've got it down, I try to speed it up. The faster we can go the more grain can be cut in one day. I only manage to get about five cuts done at a faster pace before I'm so tired I have to stop and breathe to recover. I still recover rather fast, if not quite as fast I should, but I can't put out much energy at all. I slow it back down and just focus on getting the job done at whatever pace I can.

I've stopped thinking and I think I may have stopped breathing because I stumble and fall. Noriko cries out.

I keep my eye on Izark. He really is trying too hard. He's going to make himself collapse again. I do wish he could tone it down just a little. "Ah, Kizak!" He did.

"No, I'm fine, I just tripped." She doesn't need to worry.

Liar. Even one more day could make a difference. "I'm sorry," I say to the farmer, "Kizak has been sick. Please let me fill in for him today and let him rest."

As both the kind farmer and his wife say I should certainly be allowed to rest if I've been sick, I try to wave it off. "No, it's okay." I just need to go slow enough to not overuse the energy level I've reached for today.

My temper, fraying because of lack of sleep to begin with, snaps. "No! It is not okay. You will rest for today. Tomorrow maybe you will have your strength back."

Noriko has scolded me more fiercely than she ever does, raising her voice at me. I blink in surprise, shocked she will order me so strenuously.

She pulls me up  and won't let me just walk under my own power. It's a bit embarrassing to be coddled so. When we get under the trees she makes me sit under one and lean against the trunk.

"Sit here and rest. When you have learned to properly rest after such a thing as you just went through, maybe you won't collapse all the time from overworking yourself. Please be more aware of yourself!" I march off before I can say anything else. It will only be things that don't need to be said, I'm sure.

Is that what she thinks is going on? I can only blink after her as a wave of dizziness passes over me. It's so frustrating that I can't make my body do what I want it to do today. She's probably right, though. Another day of rest is going to be required unexpectedly. I suppose I can use this time to meditate.

Footsteps sound nearby and I'm suddenly being harangued by Evan for being so weak as to faint while working in the field. I didn't faint, but I can only apologize. Surprisingly, he hands me a vegetable that he wants me to eat. I tentatively do, wondering just what kind of a person he is. He wants to know if I like it. I do. It's juicy and sweet, for the kind of vegetable it is.

"I grow it," he grins at me. "It'll make you feel better soon. This food is filled with energy from the sun and the rain and the rivers. It's got plenty of nutrition from our mother planet."

Sun energy, and water, and earth. It has three elements of energy in it! I wonder if it also has air energy and wonder if Noriko knows. Plants have all of them?

I feel an approaching person, one who has a different feel to him: that of a warrior rather than a farmer. He pokes his head around the tree. "Hey, hey, Evan! You ran from the shop too fast. Here's your pay for the vegetables."

"Oh, yeah," Evan takes the coin pouch.

"Hi. My name is Roki. Nice to meet you." The man lifts his hand to me in greeting. His grin is a bit insincere. He came out here with the coin only to meet me, I think.

"Hey! This is too much!" Evan says.

"Oh, no it's not," Roki says. "My customers love your vegetables. I sell out all the time."

"No kidding? They do?" Evan is happily embarrassed. Roki doesn't seem to be lying, rather in this matter he seems to be an honest businessman -- something rare it seems these days. I bring the wind to my ears and hear more than one voice in the distance talking quietly.

I slump inside just a little. This is a small farming community. We're already the subjects of rumors being passed around. That must be why Evan believes I fainted and Roki wanted to come see who was being talked about. I hope that doesn't become a problem for us later. I'm very glad I thought to have us use false names. We'll be remembered for many years in this place.

I work hard enough to fall asleep and sleep hard that night. Izark does seem to be better after that one more day of rest, and we both work hard to learn what needs to be done on the farm. 

Getting stronger is good, resting hard is good, not getting to see much of Izark is not so good. They have us working different jobs most of the time, usually different fields or crops. I never knew farming by hand would be such back-breaking, slow labor. I wish I knew enough about building cars and tractors to teach these people how to make combines and other equipment to make their lives easier. But then, it's interesting to me that they are happy and content with their lot in life.

It makes me remember Duke Jeida and his comment that all we need to do is just the little we can do in each day. That makes me feel good about being able to help them as well. I can make even just one row one less thing for them, one step closer to being done with the harvest than they otherwise would have been.

I keep wanting to talk to Izark while we're getting ready for bed and then falling asleep before I can get very far. Not getting to see him while working, and then not being able to talk to him even when we are together is getting me down, some.

The mornings I wake up to find his arms around me, or increasingly more frequent mine around him, are becoming less embarrassing and more comforting. It's the only time we have to be together: when we're sleeping. I wish I wasn't missing it by having my eyes closed, though.

I've become very content in this place. No. I've become happy. I'm able to rise every morning to see Noriko, work hard doing simple yet good things, see Noriko in the evening, practice without worry in the early part of the night, and sleep deep restful sleep. It's a good life to be living, even if only for a time. I've relaxed with Noriko here to smile and laugh with, and with Irktule to protect us from seers. I know it can't last forever, but I'm grateful for this time to heal and have my fear and anger be still and quiet.

I practice during the day, but I also entertain myself listening to the rumors of the people of the community on the wind. Early on, because I tripped and was weak that first day, and Noriko scolded me strongly, they said that I must be an actor and she was the warrior, and Doros a stagehand.

That was funny until the lady who runs the shop decided to test her and surprised us both by attacking Noriko with a branch. The shopkeeper was scolded soundly by her daughter, so I didn't need to do it. That led to a nice visit with Noriko as I walked back to the house with her.

Not long after we were all working in separate fields, someone was talking to the farmer we're staying with and learned we were sleeping on the floor. Within the day a wagon drew up in the yard as we were all arriving back to the house. The man driving it said that his wife had sent him to bring their extra bed to give for us to use.

Noriko took one look at the narrow bed and blushed, looking away, but she didn't say anything. I took the rumor matters into my own hands, wanting to change that one. Putting my hand to my breast, I bowed to Noriko. "Lady Geena, I shall take the floor, as is only right."

She glared at being given the title, but was relieved sufficiently to nod and thank me quietly. I was relieved when the gossip storm by the next day had another bed brought to our room for me to use, and had Noriko properly set as a lady at the very least (they like to title her a princess as that's more exciting and dramatic). 

It's been easier for us both to sleep since we have the beds. Noriko works so hard each day she can barely stay awake beyond dinner, and the soft bed allows her body to rest from her labors better. I'm able to relax better as well. I was catching myself wanting to tease her in the middle of my meditations and night practice sessions. Not only would that be unkind, it was quite impossible to wake her anyway.

I'd taken to sitting by the window, or climbing to the rooftops to watch the stars so I wouldn't disturb her. I still do, since I've enjoyed doing that since I was on my own, but because that's always what it's been, I also enjoy just quietly being near Noriko. Having a companion has been nice. Having that companion be Noriko, even nicer.

I learn on a day they send me to the general store that the area is filled with gossips and we are the center of a gossip storm. That shouldn't surprise me, I suppose, but it does. I don't have much experience with small communities, but I would have thought everyone was as busy as us during harvest time. I don't have time to talk to Izark. Where are they finding time to gossip about us?

The one woman at the shop apparently is gullible and believes the gossip. Izark is an actor, I'm a female warrior that got into trouble somehow, and we were saved from the owner of the theater by Doros who is a stagehand. Or something strange like that.

That's really funny to me after I get over being attacked with a branch by the store lady. Her daughter scolded her so I didn't have to. I've never acted in my life, not on stage anyway, and Izark's the warrior. It must be because Izark is gorgeous. He'd be a movie star or perfume ad star on my world, too.

One good thing comes out of that trip. Izark had been watching over me (he's paranoid now after two different attacks on us, I guess) and he came to see what was going on. He asks if he can walk me home until we get to his field. It's so wonderful, it feels like a date. I can't contain my happiness.

I've been trying to not complain since we do need the money. Izark wants to get back to the other continent if at all possible. At the very least that will put us that far out of reach again. Doros has told us that Rachef can't drag us back again since he used all the chimos to do it in the first place, except the two Doros has.

It's very sad. Doros was the one who took care of them and loved them. He got to see their wasteful death with his own eyes and he still suffers, like I do. He really loves animals. It helped me to understand why he turned against them and helped me, though. I thanked him again when he told me that story while we waited for Izark to recover that first day.

Doros is running to find me. "Kizak, come give us a hand. A villager's cow fell into the ditch and we can't get it out," he calls.

It's quite wedged in with the leg that might have pushed to get it out stuck underneath it. I'm able to get the right hold on it and lift it. As soon as it's properly up on my shoulder, Noriko calls me. Not having the focus I can't answer right away, but as soon as I have the cow up in the field, I do contact her. Since it's for lunch, I ask her to wait for the short time it will take me to make sure the cow is okay. 

The cow walks about a little, then says it will be fine with a bit of rest. The farmer agrees after checking the tendon. I scold the cow who meekly says it will pay attention better from now on. I tell Doros I need to return to my work and run back to the field I'm working in.

Our next date starts a little worrisome to me. I've been sent to take Izark lunch. Well..., I've been sent to take everyone lunch, but I take him his last so we can eat together. We're all working separate fields now since Izark and I are trained well enough in what to do. I'm pretty sure I've got the right field for him, but he isn't here. "Izark? Is everything okay? I've got your lunch." It takes a minute, which is long enough to make my heart start pounding.

"Yes. I was asked to help get a cow out of a ditch. I'll be there in just a minute. I'm making sure it isn't injured." I sigh with relief, then wonder just how he got it out. Knowing him he lifted it out without thinking about how heavy those things are. He's going to give us away doing thoughtless things again. I sigh again, with frustration this time and head to the shade of the wagon he's loading dried grain onto. I can set up lunch there.

I've just settled down when he comes running. I stare at him. Now he's running in the open -- at his Superman speed. I purse my lips. He really needs to calm down.

He reaches me and plants a small kiss -smack- on my lips, startling me into wide-eyed stunned. I have to blink a few times. Was that teasing because he could see I was about to lecture, or was that just because he was happy to see me? 

I give up on the scolding, set out the lunch, and let him tell me that, yes, he lifted the large cow out of the ditch with his bare hands, just him. I can only sigh and put my chin in my hand. If the gossips are around, I wonder what new story they've cooked up this time. I think I'll add to it.

His animation is really surprising actually. I wonder what's changed him from his quiet introspection that I'm used to. I sit up on my knees and grab his head and kiss him, somewhat passionately. That makes him go into stunned stillness.

I'm happy to see Noriko waiting for me in the shade of the wagon I'm filling and greet her with a kiss. She sets out the lunch as I tell her what happened. I'm just coming to the end of the story when she surprises me by sitting up on her knees and giving me a not just a kiss, but a passionate one. I really don't know how to handle that.

"Izark. You are very [ADHD] today. What's going on?" she asks me now that I'm quieted by her surprise attack. I have to ask for the definition of her word. "Ah..., very talkative and energetic. Have we been in one place too long already?"

That makes me smile. "No. I'm just happy. It's quiet here and I can work hard and do good things and see you every night and every morning, and you've brought me lunch so we can sit and be together today."

I raise an eyebrow, surprised. "Oh. Is that what it is? This is happy Izark?"

I'm happy to have her be able to learn who the happy Izark is. "Yes. This is happy Izark." I lean on my raised knee to look at her and she blushes and looks away.

He takes my breath away again, just looking at him being fetching. "Well..., I could get used to happy Izark," I admit. I think. "[Except that happy Izark makes me want to jump you,]" I mutter under my breath.

I grin to myself because she's giving me such a good reaction. I want to see it more. "You know," I say, drawing her attention again, "it's because of you I can be this way."

God, those eyes. So earnest, so beguiling. I shake my head, disbelieving. "Me?"

"Because of you -- your strength, your understanding, your kindness, and most of all your trust in me that has never turned away from me even in the worst of my changes -- I have found a place I can be just me. Of all people, you have never rejected me or what I am. Even I've done that. Because of you, I've learned that I can be me and be happy being me. Thank you, Noriko."

This is my fault? I blush. "It isn't anything really, Izark. You're kind. It's easy to love you."

Her blush is very rewarding, and her words kind, but I shake my head. "I think only you think that, Noriko." She seems to be confused that I can't see what she sees.

"No. Gaya thinks so, too. The others liked you also."

That makes me remember the last day with them. "Even after they saw what I became, Noriko? I'm not sure."

"Well..., I guess I can't say anything about that, but none of them ran you out of the house when we went back. They looked confused, yes, but none of them looked like they wanted to kill you or yelled at you or threw rocks at you."

She's put it a funny way, but always looking at the positive side of things, seeing the little things as clues for good rather than ill will, and wanting me to be able to see those things that way and find hope in them for myself: these are the ways of Noriko that I love. She's already opened the door today and I'm reaching for her to kiss her, to express my appreciation and my feelings to her.

Izark's eyes smile slightly, but he's looking hungry. I hand him a sandwich, but I'm too late. He's liplocked me. When he lets me up for air, my heart still going a mile a minute, he says, "Noriko, I love you. Even if they can't accept me, as long as you do, I'm happy."

I'm very flustered and don't know where to go from there. I think he oxygen deprived me for just a little too long. It takes me too long to recover and he's silently laughing at me again, having given him a great reaction to his romanticism again to add to his mental notebook. I give up and eat the sandwich I was going to hand him.

For the first time in my own words, she says, "Umm, you're welcome?" I realize then why she's never said it before in my words. The way those sounds twist in her mouth and stumble on her tongue have me in full out laughter I can't keep quiet. It sounded so funny, I laugh until I double over. Noriko kicks at my head, peeved. "Hey, at least I tried to say it this time. At least give me that much credit."

When I've recovered sufficiently, I agree, "Okay, you tried. I will give you that." My head has ended up in her lap and I reach up to gently touch her face, glad I've been able to truly laugh for the first time in years, if perhaps even ever. "You have changed me so much. Thank you."

She scowls at me, and I wonder why. "Oh, no. I'm not saying it again." What? It takes me a moment to work out what I said, then I can't hold in the laughter and it bursts out of me again.

"No, no, I didn't," I gasp for air, "really!"

I sigh and bend down to kiss his forehead tenderly. "[You're welcome,] Izark. I'm glad you can laugh and be happy." Wryly I add, "Even if it is at my expense."

He rolls over and holds me with an arm, nuzzling his face into my belly. That opens him up to letting me play with his hair and I run my fingers through it, mesmerizing myself. This is a good date, today's lunch.

I'm very glad for a Noriko who can make me happy, make me laugh, and forgive me and be happy with me. Her fingers touch my hair, slipping into it and I'm suddenly very still, although the happy relaxation doesn't go away.

As her fingers run through my hair I'm mesmerized by the calm feeling that comes upon me. When that gets into something else, then I very much have to hold still until she's done and I can eat my own lunch. That's okay. Today's lunch is a very good date for us. I very much want to keep her by my side and have access to this peaceful happiness for the rest of my life.

But..., I've also been thinking another little thing in the back of my head that comes out now that she's distracted and we're quiet (and I need a distraction). Today is the first time she called me using our heart connection since we arrived here. At the beginning, I didn't want to distract her from her work because it took so much focus and effort for her, but more and more frequently I wish she would so that I could talk to her while we work.

I shift just enough to look at her face. She's in a trance, looking only at her fingers going through my hair. It would be okay to stop that right about now. "Noriko...."

"Hmm?" I blink to bring myself out of the trance, then work to free my fingers from his hair.

"That's the first time you've called to me since we arrived here, and I haven't felt you looking either. Are you still afraid?" I worry that she's still too worried about the last thing she saw so unexpectedly.

I jump just a little in surprise and then consider it. "Ah! ...Well, I've been too tired each night to have nightmares. This much physical activity is new to me. ...It feels more like I just haven't thought to do it ...but maybe, a little?"

I reach up my hand to gently brush her cheek, wishing to brush those worries away.

"I'll try to remember to practice while we're here, Izark. There isn't anything to be afraid of here, I know that."

If she'll promise it then she'll try to unlearn the fear. The Teacher won't let her break that kind of promise. I'm sufficiently satisfied. We may need to have her ...no, we will need to have her not unlearn that skill and strength. We'll some day leave here and need to be cautious and careful again. 

It's true. If I've been avoiding it because of the fear, I'll only overcome it if I do it when I can prove to myself there isn't anything to be afraid of. "Has it made you feel lonely?" I ask, only somewhat teasing. It makes me feel sad to think I've been making him feel that way unintentionally.

It sounds like she's trying to tease, but in her face I see sorrow and worry. It's not a question to answer, not when she needs to face herself first.

He looks at me with an expression I'm not sure I understand. He finally just doesn't answer it. He sits up and kisses me again instead and holds me gently in his arms. He's being very forward for him today and it's confusing me, but in the end I do relax into his strong arms and firm chest, the only place I feel completely secure and safe.

I hold her gently in my arms to give her the only peaceful healing I know how to give her. When she's able to relax into my encircling arms and chest, then I can also know that same peace.

Chapter Text

Izark isn't the only chatty person around me. I always know when there aren't any villagers around to add to the gossip chain when Irktule shows up. I don't mind his company, but I don't usually have enough breath to spare to talk to him.

I've taken to asking him questions about this world. When I hit on a topic he can answer, he can go for hours. That suits me. He can talk. I can listen and learn and not go mind crazy. I don't mind the physical labor, but it frees up my mind to wander too much. If he's talking to me I've got something to focus on.

Practicing looking at Izark helps too, but for some reason I can't talk to him when I'm busy. It takes too much effort and strength, when I'm putting forth the physical effort of the work. Maybe if I can work up to it I'll be that much stronger, like weight lifting.

Today I was watching Izark and when he was just about done loading his wagon with the grain, I packed up and headed his way. It's been a while since I've followed the pull to find him, I realize. Is it because we're able to relax here, that I don't feel like I need it so much?

No. It's because this is the first place I can feel like I'm back on Earth. Nothing strange, no monsters, just normal people living normal lives, and I've gone back to living normally. I can't tell if that's relaxing or depressing ...which makes me laugh at myself ...and I'm suddenly being watched by a smiling demon.

The rumors are changed again today. I'm embarrassed to understand now why Noriko was wanting to understand my happiness the other day. I was too happy and let all of the villagers know of my strength. She was kind to not scold me outright, but she probably should have.

Now, I'm the strong and gallant knight of low station who eloped with the princess, and Doros is the stablehand that helped us. Once I get over the embarrassment, fear, and worry about what I did, I'm then embarrassed for another reason.

I happen to really like this rumor of all of the ones they've discussed, thought about, and eventually rejected as they see more and more of us. I'm bouncing between being sad that I may have made it so we'll have to leave soon and the little thrills of delight that run through me.

Noriko is my princess, the one who I protect and will never leave the side of. If that day I turned the rumors to us being that, then I'm glad they can finally see what I am for her. If the rumors stay at this level, then I'll be content. ...But it's me I'm not sure should continue to be so free. I wouldn't want to bring evil on this peaceful place because of showing too many people things that could bring Rachef or others here looking for us.

I wonder how she's doing now? I practice looking at her. I've gotten very light, so that I see her without her noticing, although for a long time she was too focused on her work to notice. She's walking down the road, laughing at a thought in her head. I can't help but smile.

"Hey, Izark. Are you practicing, too?" I ask him.

"Hey. That's the fastest you've known I was looking at you," I respond.

I shake my head. "No. I was looking first. I'm headed your way."

"Ah, that's why I thought of you. I'll wait for you." I'm glad she was practicing properly.

"Okay." I let him know, "I'm just about done with my field."

"I'm done here as well. That means I can go with you in the morning." Because I'm very fast and she's slow, she's working the next to last field. The farmer and his wife are in the last field. Evan has been threshing constantly now that most of the grain is dry enough. The harvest being that close to complete also means it's likely time for us to go.

"That would be wonderful." A morning date sounds great right now, particularly since it means we'll actually be working together until the scything is done.

Her happiness at seeing me makes me give her a kiss when she arrives. 

Because I was happy and because I was looking at him? I'll take the reward either way, but if he keeps it up too long, I'll cave sooner than I probably should. I take his jacket in my hand.

When she reaches for me, I take her hand in mine, happy to have her with me on our walk home. Even if we do leave soon, it will be together. I'm content to do what needs to be done as long as it's that.

That does make me blush, but I'm distracted. "Noriko, the spirits have found your horse on the other continent. It apparently went back to the stable you last had it. The mayor is keeping your things for you."

Noriko was looking into the air and now she says, "Oh, that's wonderful news! I'm amazed they could find out. Thank you so much."

I glance at the empty air, then ask Noriko, "Is it Irktule?"

"What?" I stare at him in shock. "Yes, it is, but I thought you could see him."

I shake my head. "When we first came, but not any more. He's been fading and for the last little while I haven't been able to at all."

I'm frowning. "It's not Izark, Noriko. The evil outside this village has been increasing and it's taking all our power to keep it protected. We may soon have to shrink the barrier to being just over you, or the houses when you're in them."

Noriko frowns, then is looking at Irktule again, listening to what I can't hear. It's a long conversation, so I keep Noriko's feet moving while holding her hand. I walk slowly. We don't need to be in a hurry and what Irktule says seems to be serious, given her expression. I think even he's now agreeing it's time to go. That's enough clues. I'll begin preparing.

Noriko nods and says, "I understand, Irktule. I'll let Izark know and we'll talk about it." She turns to me.

"He says the evil outside this village has been increasing and it's taking all his and the spirits of the White Mist Forest's power to keep it protected. He's thinking they'll have to shrink the barrier to being just over us, or the houses when we're in them.

"He's also worried about the gossip going around. People are too curious about us, so if anyone comes looking for us they'll be suspicious right away." She shakes her head. "I really would've thought we'd been here long enough for it to die down. Do they really have nothing else to do? Are we the only farmers and helpers working this harvest?"

Irktule does agree with me, and without anyone to fight against the evil, I'm not surprised it's only increasing outside of this place. I wish I could give the whole world this kind of peace we've had this past month.

Noriko's last questions show that she really has only lived in the cities. "There is work, but there isn't much else. We are the newest entertainment. It could go on for years, even if we settled here."

I shake my head again. "In the city, we barely talk to our next door neighbor and everyone tries hard to keep lives private, although some go out of their way to be friendly."

I raise an eyebrow. "No different from cities here."

I sigh. "No, not really, I suppose. I'm just a city girl, I guess, although between the older women the neighborhood gossip was not unknown. But to make it up they way they do...." I roll my eyes.

I can't help but silently laugh at her again. To so freely admit that she's a city girl. She sticks out her tongue at me, but it only makes me laugh more.

I do wonder that she isn't throwing a tantrum. Most of the city girls would, if they were the focus of so much gossip. "It doesn't bother you, though, what they say?"

I shrug. "Unless they ask and we tell, it will all be guesses anyway. As long as it isn't unkind or hurtful, no, it doesn't bother me. Not really. It's not like we have a better answer for them if they did ask."

I can't look at her. The embarrassment rises in me again and I don't want to give it away, or she'll tease me. "True. Have you heard the most recent one?" 

Noriko lets go of my hand, but it's to step ahead of me and turn to walk backwards, so she can watch me. She's holding the lunch bag in both hands, and looks so much the trysting lady that I'm very hard pressed to not give in to my embarrassment.

My hand tightens down slightly on the halter of the ox pulling the wagon of the final harvest from my field. "No?" I smile shyly, my delight leaking out but mixing with my embarrassment. "They've decided you're a princess and I'm a knight too low in station and we've eloped. Doros is the stablehand that helped us." She blinks at me, taking that in.

"Well, that almost isn't too far off, actually, although I'm not a princess."

I'm glad she approves. She brightens up and my hand clenches down tighter so that the ox complains and I have to purposely relax.

"Do you know what I used to help me at the beginning?"

I shake my head, wanting to know more about Noriko. I've missed being able to talk about things like this.

"One of the creatures of lore in our world are [fairies]. They can use magic and fly, are thin and otherworldly, beautiful and close to nature, but are very different from humans in how they think. When I woke up on the golden bed under the tree it felt to me like I had been transported into a fairy world and had arrived in the bed of the Fairy Queen." 

Noriko turns around again and skips back to take my hand in hers. She's into her storytelling now, her more relaxed form of teaching.

"In our stories, when the heroine is in trouble the knight always shows up to rescue her just at the right time. I was so surprised to have you show up just in time. You became the storybook knight right away, but because you're so thin and gorgeous you already fit being a fairy, too. So you were the fairy knight who came and saved the Fairy Queen and then stole her for yourself."

She looks up at me, her eyes sparkling with humor. I'm delighted by this story, to be honest, for all I didn't have good intentions at the time. That's a bit of a conflict inside me.

"Later," my face drops just a little, "when you were taking me to Aunt Gaya's, you looked at me with the demon's eyes and I realized I hadn't understood. Maybe I was the Fairy Queen, or maybe something else, but you were a [dragon] and I was a treasure you'd stolen and were trying to keep safe for yourself."

I'm surprised she recognized me and our situation even before she learned what I was, but then she does look for clues and fit them into answers early.

I look at Izark more soberly. "I still prefer to think of you as a [dragon] rather than a demon. Demons are only evil and exist to torment humans. You aren't like that. In my world, a [dragon] is a mythical powerful creature that has wings and flies, breathes fire, and in some stories they can use magic.

"They're solitary and fearsome. They love treasure, hoarding it in caves that they protect, and often sleep in for centuries upon their treasure of gold, gems, and other things they've stolen. In some of the stories, they demand a young woman, usually a princess, in order to not destroy the land. She lives with the dragon, or it eats her depending on the story, and takes care of it and its treasures, and is one of those treasures."

I'm a bit horrified by the "eat" part. Dragons weren't sounding too bad until then. The rest of it sounds pretty close -- at least the solitary, fearsome, and princess parts. I need my princess treasure in order to not destroy the land, too.

"When you looked at me that day, I became not just the Fairy Queen, but the most rare treasure of this planet. You'd come to the Sea of Trees and taken me before anyone else could. You were taking me to a place I would be safe until you found a proper cave to hide me away in. It was important that I only be obedient." I look away and squeeze his hand. "That's why I would say I was yours. I was your treasure and I understood that. I was protecting your treasure for you." I blush slightly. "I guess I still do."

I stop us all from walking. That has just explained so much, and most of all why she changed to be the servant. She was being the princess treasure who had to obey the dragon and stay with it. Her eyes look fearlessly into mine.

"But that was before I understood what we really are to this place. It doesn't seem much different to me, just different names. It's not hard for me to understand or accept, although on occasion it is hard for me to understand it as reality instead of a story.

"Here, in this place, I stopped talking to you or seeing because that isn't ‘normal', it's part of the story. It's easy to live life normally here where there are no monsters and it's just people living life. Even though I know everything that's happened has been real." I lift his hand, put it to my cheek, and rub my cheek on it. "This is, and has been, far too real to be a story."  I'm thinking of his injuries at the end of the last battle, wishing he'd not had to live through that pain.

Even as she says that, she must have the touch that lets her know she is walking in a real world. How much is she still walking in the storybook world? How difficult is it for her to accept this is real? So many things have happened that she didn't want to have happen. It would be so much easier for her to never really live in this world, to some day be able to turn her back on it, return home, and remember it as only a dream.

I'm suddenly thrown back into where I was when I was testing her to begin with, and the "dragon" in me wants to know where she really stands once again. "Noriko, does it not bother you to be a treasure the world wants? To have been stolen by the dragon? To be the sacrificial princess?" I'm almost holding my breath, hoping she can pass this test, and daring her to make me eat her at the same time.

I look at him, tipping my head. "I'm not sure I want the whole world looking for me, and certainly not the evil men, but I've been protected from them by you. Isn't that the safest and best place to be?"

She puts on her teasing smile. I'm not amused by the topic, but I listen carefully to learn.

"In our time we've romanticized dragons. Many girls would go and live with them, or even be them if they existed, although originally they were evil and more often ate the princess than kept her. You are one of the modern dragons, that any girl would want to be treasured by. Somehow, I got the good fortune to be that one. ...Though it hasn't been easy," I add drolly.

I'm not sure I believe her, that I would be a "modern" dragon, but I know that she sees the good in me more than I do, so from her eyes it may be true.

"And, you are more often in knight form, not dragon form. Any princess loves a dashing, handsome knight that comes to their rescue and protects them, when he's also kind and humble." I smile. "It's easy to love you, Izark. I have no desire to be anywhere else."

But, ...does she understand the terrible nature of the dragon? That even if it wants her as a treasure, it could still eat her at any time? "Noriko, I nearly lost myself in Selina, Guzena -- my human mind and reasoning. If I became the dragon that would eat you, would you still feel the same?"

Hahh. I reach up and put a hand on Izark's cheek. "Izark. Your dragon knows me, knows I'm its treasure. It may even treasure me more than you do, given the severely scolding look it gave me when I tried to run away. You won't eat me, unless I'm very disobedient and don't properly protect myself to stay its treasure like I should. I'm very careful. I don't want to be eaten."

Is this why she apologizes to me for not protecting herself, for not being able to do things that are outside her abilities? She's trying to appease the dragon? She's doing it again, even.

I pull him down to me and kiss his lips. "I am Izark's. I won't go anywhere." I want to reassure him, but then I remember and bite my lip. "Except when I'm stolen. I tried very hard last time to not be stolen, but because of Tazasheena I couldn't prevent it. But I did do my best to escape and come back to you."

I wrap my arms around her gently and lay my head gently on hers. She doesn't have to appease me. It makes me sad for her to take on more than she should. That time was a difficult time. I already know there was nothing she could do more than she did. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you then. I'm glad you escaped, but I was afraid to have you come to me. I wanted you to stay free. Where I was wasn't that."

I shake my head. "No. My place is always next to Izark, wherever Izark is. Then you know and don't have to be worried or afraid. It's part of my responsibility to take care of you, too, Izark. To make sure you're safe and protected, also. What I can do is very small in comparison to what you can do, but I know that even my small efforts have helped you. That is what I want to do." 

I'm quiet, my heart hurting, trying to understand. It's not just that she's the dragon's treasure, just like it's not just her arms that heal me or my arms heal her. There are things we must do for each other no one else can do, so that we both can stay safe and keep this planet safe. Every time she followed through on that responsibility to take care of me by being back by my side, to see my fears and worries were calmed, she brought me back from becoming Destruction. It's for this reason I need her by my side, not just want her to be a companion.

Softly I relent, "It's true, that when you came, and because of you, I was able to see that light for just that moment, just long enough to protect us both. Thank you for that small effort that saved us both." I kiss her ear, so grateful for that courage and firm commitment to be by my side, even at that terrible time. "Although I don't think that was small -- to escape from the house and make it that far to me."

That one wasn't so small, it's true. "I was helped: by Doros, by Irktule and the spirits, and I often wonder if by that force of good that has been helping us all along. I couldn't have done all of that without help. My original plan was to hope to survive the jump from the window and go steal a horse. That would've been the best I could've done on my own. You would've already been in the darkness a long time by the time I reached you."

I pull back to look at her, surprised and worried at what she would've done. "You would've still come?"

"Of course." I look at him in surprise. "I would even have still leaped into the darkness to get to you, if that's where you were."

I pull her tightly to me to get her to stop saying such dangerous things. "Gods, Noriko. That is so frightening."

"No," I counter him. "That's where we were already headed. I didn't know you were going to grow wings of light when I jumped."

I lose strength and want to whimper in fear.

"I'm sorry, Izark," I say contritely. "I jumped without thinking again." 

I nod emphatically, wishing she could unlearn it. Yes, she did. Why does she do it? "Did you jump the first time on purpose, too?" What changed when we fell from the cliff and she was so overwhelmed with terror to someone who could jump without thought? I keep her close to me, needing her protected in my arms until I can understand.

I laugh. "No. That was honest petrification and I have no idea how it happened. One moment I was balanced, the next I wasn't. When you pulled on me, you made me turn out even more and there was nothing to be done. I am sorry, though. I didn't mean to do it ...though... I wonder if whatever has been helping us did it on purpose. I've always wondered how we just happened to run into a clothing merchant first thing when that was what we needed to keep me protected right then in this new world."

I nod. "I've wondered it also. We fell right where we needed to be to help him." I release her, but continue to hold her shoulders to consider her. It's possible she doesn't know, and it's possible that we both needed her to learn that courage so that she could come to save me as I was falling to oblivion. "We need to move on again. Tomorrow let's find Doros and let him know. I'll talk to the farmer to let him know it will be soon."

"Okay, Izark." I can tell he's frustrated that we have to be on the run again, hiding, but he's also grateful that I'm willing to trust him and go. I think he would really like to find his cave sometime soon. It's too bad he isn't really a dragon, and doesn't already have one we could have gone to. It would have made his life a lot simpler and less painful.

I don't want to have to take her back out into the life of fugitives in hiding, sleeping wherever on the ground we can find, but I'm grateful that Noriko is willing to trust me and go without question. If only I did have a cave hidden away somewhere that I could take her to and hide us in. It would make life simpler and less worrisome. However, it wouldn't end the search for us. Some day soon I'll turn around and face that which chases after us and put it in its proper place so we can breathe easy again.

Noriko and I are at the general shop. Doros' chimos had two babies and he wants to take them with us. Noriko is talking to Hanna, the daughter of the woman who runs the general shop about getting a makeshift travel basket. I'm talking to Roki about if there's any work in the area available for a wandering swordsman. He's the salesman for the shop, who takes produce into town to sell it, buys things the community needs, and brings them back here to sell to the farmers. Thus, he's heard many things from here to town, and in town.

"Do you know anyone who's hiring? We need swords and horses, but we haven't much money."

"You can easily find a job outside the village," Roki says a tad gloomily. "We're about to go to war against a neighboring country. The government is hiring experienced swordsmen as mercenaries." I'm not interested in being anywhere near a government sponsored activity. I want to get away from Rachef's clutches, not give him clues I'm still here. "I heard you lifted a four hundred pound cow. I'm sure you'll have no trouble getting hired on as a mercenary for a nice price."

I ignore the reference to the gossip; that isn't this time. "I don't want to have anything to do with war. I want to work for a private party."

Roki is suddenly in my face, keenly interested. "You don't deny lifting the cow? I thought it was just another rumor, but maybe it's true."

I'm saved from having to answer him by Noriko calling out Irktule's name in surprise and Hanna grabbing at Noriko's arm while gasping in fright. "What is that? Is that a ghost?" I'm ignoring Roki, worried. Irktule doesn't show up when there are other people around.

"What is it, Irktule?" I ask.

"Three men carrying evil seeds inside them just entered the village and they are headed here. They said they are coming to collect on a two-hundred gold reward."

"A two-hundred gold reward!?" Hanna says in shock after both girls have listened for a bit. I'm surprised she can see and hear Irktule like Noriko can. She's cold and impersonal in her interactions; although, she seems very intelligent and far more practical than her mother who believes every rumor in the city -- all at once, I'm convinced.

"What are you talking about?" Roki asks, very confused.

Roki's another one of those gorgeous men with long curly hair, but he seems pretty devoted to Hanna to me. Hanna is suave and coldly beautiful although her personality isn't as cold as her looks. She's got a great mind, too, which I've taken an instant liking to. Her mother's the ditz that believes all the rumors in town. How they managed to be related I'll never understand, I suspect.

"Irktule is a tree spirit," Izark says distractedly to Roki.

"Ooooh," says Hanna's mother, "I wish I could see him."

"They are coming. They said they had finally found the people they are looking for." Irktule is very concerned.

I freeze, then say quickly, "They're coming for us!" I blink. Jinx. Hanna just said the same thing. "We can't get them involved." Jinx again. What is up with this? Hanna and I stare at each other for a moment, very surprised.

Huh? What?

"Oh - my - Gosh!" Valley-girl to the max, the mother is super excited. "They really are a princess and a gallant knight who've eloped and are on the run!" I sigh to myself as Hanna scolds her mother.

That doesn't answer for them, though. "Are you hiding from something?" I ask Roki.

"Are you?" he asks back.

I'm way too confused. "Irktule, can you tell me who the men are after?"

Irktule looks as confused as I feel. "I thought it was you. I didn't know others were hiding here, too."

My "good side is helping us" warning bells go off. Irktule has protected us here, and inadvertently protected these people. Are we going to help another set of people the good side (I think I'm going to start calling it "the force" from Star Wars) wants us to protect? "He doesn't know who they're after, Kizak."

I look at Roki and we silently agree. We can't leave this alone. Roki crouches down behind the counter. I head for the tool section and snatch up a hoe. "Stay inside and lock the door," Roki instructs and he and I head for the door. The ladies nod. We close it behind us and I can hear the latch being thrown.

We turn around to find three men just getting off their horses outside the store. "Hey, hey. Why're you closing so early?"

"I'm sorry," Roki says. "We have to close for the day. If you need something right now I can go inside and get it for you."

The shortest, rotund man in front is unimpressed. "I think you know why we're here. I'll tell you what. You go get those two women and bring them out."

"They're my customers, not yours," Roki says calmly.

"I thought there was only one guy with these women," the most burly of the men says.

"There is. It's the guy with the curly hair," the head man says.

"Who's the other guy then?" the thinnest of them asks.

"I'm the traveling warrior he's about to hire," I answer for them now that we know who they're here after. I turn to Roki. "I'm not going to charge a lot. Just give us the stuff we already picked out of the shop." That will save the coin we earned farming for a sword when we get to town.

Roki's been a merchant too long. "Is a hero really so money-hungry? I was actually thinking of asking for your help, but I'm shocked to learn that a knight would charge for his services!" Or he believes in the rumors too much, not that I'm likely going to dissuade him from that one.

"You're the one with the tight purse. Besides I'm not a knight. I'm a traveling warrior. I have to work for a living," I dicker back.

The burly man laughs a hearty laugh at us, dickering in front of them like old wives instead of posturing like men. "This is great! A traveling warrior with a hoe? That's very novel. Well, I'm glad you're here, young man. I thought I was going to be bored with this fight. For some reason I've been growing stronger and stronger over the last month. This will be a fun fight."

"Me, too," the thin one agrees as they both stretch out, doing their own sort of posturing.

"Let's do this!" the leader says and the two others are headed for us.

"Fifty percent off," Roki says, skipping the rest of the dickering. I think with me protecting three of them it should be a better discount, but we don't have time and I want the agreement sealed before I start fighting, so I agree. Then the stocky man has engaged me.

He knows what he's doing, but he isn't as fast or as strong as he needs to be. I defend his sword blows a few times, then slam the flat of the hoe into his face, sending him back where he started from. I check on Roki and he's also beaten back the thin man.

"You guys aren't bad, but don't underestimate us," the leader says calmly. "We've barely begun."

The burly man pushes up and puts his hand to his mouth. "You knocked out my teeth!" I've made him angry.

"You were fast, but not fast enough," the thin man says to Roki. He begins to limber up again, but this time his limbs are looking like cloth. Like the bones are gone, or at least gone soft. It's hard to watch, and it will be harder to predict coming attacks. I silently wish Roki good luck, then watch as my opponent pushes off the ground to come at me. 

I wasn't expecting the speed and he reaches me almost before I can get my hoe up. His blows come at me fast and furious. It's a good thing I can also do speed attacks and defense. I'm able to keep up with him. The third man passes us and heads for the door now that we're good and distracted. I decide it's time to get this done and watch for my opening. 

I'm able to get the man's sword flung up over his head on one of my defenses. Faster than he's been moving until now, I get a great blow in under his arms and into his chest, knocking him back a long ways.

I zip over to Roki's battle and intercept the thin man's sword. Roki immediately steps back to let me take over. The man's arms have even elongated and I'm feeling like I'm fighting the woman with the cloth sleeves again, except it isn't that bad a fight. By the time I have him flying backwards as well, Roki has hauled the third man back from the door to the shop -- which is now hanging broken by the hinges -- and he is also rolling to join his companions.

The man is immediately up. He draws in a great breath, and I run and block his wind with a wind energy shield, then send his wind back at him. I learned my lesson from Nada's man quite well enough, thank you. Plus I got a whiff of the scent of this man's poison breath when he broke down the door with it. We don't want to breathe that.

Izark and Roki look at each other and spring into action. Roki leaps behind the counter, crouches down, and pulls out a sword. Izark heads for the tool section and snatches up a hoe. "Stay inside and lock the door," Roki instructs. We nod. It looks like all three of us ladies understand. They've been running for a while, too. I wonder what from?

Once the door is latched, we move to the back part of the store behind the shelving to wait. I think this is a good time to practice looking at what's going on with Izark. I want to know if I need to run. The posturing between the parties takes place. "Go get the women, we know they're in there." That kind of thing.

The three men who've arrived on horses are surprised to see two men at the door, though. Once it's sorted out that they are after Roki and the two I'm with, Izark is quick to use that to his advantage, telling Roki he'll take as protection payment the things we've picked out that we need for our journey.

That puts a pause on the proceedings. Roki complains and they have a bit of a dickering argument that is eventually interrupted by the waiting three bounty hunters finally getting bored. With a quick, "Half-off," from Roki, Izark answers, "Deal," and the battle is engaged.

The initial part is quick. Roki is good, like Agol and Barago good. That's pretty impressive. The bounty hunter that didn't engage isn't highly impressed, though, and that worries me.

The other two stand up and my heart drops. They have special powers. "Ah...I think things are going to get hard out there, let's go to the back room." I grab at the sleeves of the women with me and begin to drag them backwards. "Last time I ran into people with special powers, I was nearly sacrificed to a demon. I'd rather not have that happen again, although they're after you two, not me."

They'd been resisting me a bit. Now Hanna stops and stares at me. "What?"

I tug on her. "Please, just come. You do have a back door, right?"

"Of course, dear," her mother tries to comfort me. "It's this way." She starts to easily lead us that way.

"Not right now," I clarify. "Just in case they break in." And then the one not fighting starts to do just that and I change my mind. "Never mind. Where is it?" They hear the rattling at the door and I'm tugging on them again to get them to move instead of freeze. They've apparently been running, but not captured yet like me. They don't have quite the healthy sense of fear they should have.

A nasty smelling wind goes flying past just after the doors crash open. That made them move. We make it out the door and into the back yard of the general store. I don't want to get too far from Izark, so I sneak carefully around the side of the building, staying out of sight, but continuing to watch from my mind. The other ladies are out of the building now, so I figure they can take care of themselves.

The breath blown back slams into the short man who sent it and he is blown back as well, since my wind is greater than his. He cries out, then rolls on the ground in pain. "My eyes! My eyes hurt, and my nose, too!" Well, it's okay to get a taste of your own poison every once in a while, I believe.

Through the tears running down his face as they try to clean his eyes, he sees his companions just beginning to rise from the ground where I sent them. "What? They knocked you out? I can't believe those two little men are beating the soldiers of the Grey Bird tribe!!"

What? They can't be. Can they? Gaya is honorable and Banadam tries hard, but these are the first Grey Birds I've met who've been willing to fight on the side of evil.

He's still trying to get his men up and fighting again. "We are not merely soldiers of the Grey Bird tribe; we are also martial arts masters! We are never beaten!" I beg to differ, but they don't know who they're facing.

The burly man pushes up. "He's right. I haven't used all my strength yet. I'm going to summon all my power...." He begins to physically transform, and I get worried. That's a bad thing in my book and he may want to reconsider. At least I wish he would. Up on his feet now, he's bulking up so that his back is large and his arms are now covered in stubby spikes. "Ha ha ha! Look at me!"

His thin flexible friend is also now pushing up, looking pleased, and like he's going to do the same, when the first one starts to gasp, then cry out in pain and concern.  He's still growing and changing and it's looking painful. I wince in sympathy. "S-somebody, make this stop," he pleads. "My body is...," he can only breathe in pain, and then he screams. "Aaaggh! Help me!" This is bad. He doesn't know what he's done.

When I stop at my chosen location, all of a sudden I have two warm, slightly shivering bodies crowding close to me. I blink in surprise, losing my vision, and suddenly we're hearing a man scream from the front. It isn't Izark, but the two ladies are immediately at the corner of the building, looking carefully around the corner. 

I sigh and walk up to stand behind them and peer out as well. One of the bounty hunters is swelling up and large growths are appearing on his arms and back and legs. He's crying out in fear and pain. He looks like another American comic super hero type. Almost like the Hulk during transformation, but more like the one that looks like stone. ...And he's reminding me of what it was like to watch Izark transform.

"Izark. Is it like when you transformed? Can he reverse it? Can you calm the adrenaline rush? The more he's afraid of the transformation, the more he'll transform."

Right. Keimos wanted his changes and knew how to control them. This man doesn't, so it may only be driven by his emotions. If the fear can be calmed he might be able to reverse it. I try any number of things, then think hard about what Gaya taught me. Maybe something can help him from his own tribe's teachings. "If you're from the Grey Bird tribe, then you should remember the teachings of your founder. ‘All paths eventually return to their origin'. ‘Those who choose the martial path must first master the power of gentleness'."

Oh, is that what the other one was? Was he saying I already had the power of gentleness? It certainly is something he's attained. I love him all over again.

For some reason, the master's teachings seem to do the trick and the transformation does reverse. We all sigh in relief. That was really terrible to watch and listen to. Even his companions are happy to have him back whole again. Their fighting spirit has left them, having to watch that horrible transformation.

Hanna, her mother, and Noriko step out around the corner of the house. "Amazing! Are you a clan leader, Kizak?" Roki slaps a hand on my shoulder.

"No. I had no idea what I was talking about. I was just making it up as I went along." I shift my body to shake Roki's hand off my shoulder, causing him to slip on the step as he's about to step down them. He manages to keep to his feet. Yes, he's also well trained in the martial arts.

"Years ago, a member of your tribe taught those words to me. You said you belonged to the tribe so I thought maybe they would help," I tell the three bounty hunters.

The man who was transformed nods. "I was trapped in a frightening dark place. When I heard those words, they calmed me. I had no idea the founder's words would do that."

"Who told you those words?" Roki asks me.

"A woman named Gaya il Pisca."

Roki rubs his chin. "Gaya.... That name sounds familiar. ...I think Banadam mentioned her."

I stand up straight in surprise. "You know Banadam, Roki?"

He and the two ladies with me turn to stare at me in surprise. "You know Banadam, Geena?" Hanna asks.

"You know Banadam, too, Hanna?" I ask, surprised again.

"Wait," I raise a hand. "Just who are you three?"

The bounty hunters answer for us. "They are the wife and daughter of the former Grand Duke Jeida de Gilenee. He," they point to Roki, "was the commander of the royal guards. We'll leave you in peace. It's horrible that we tried to profit from harming the one who helped our clan." They turn and mount their horses and ride off as we all stand stunned.

I turn to Hanna. "No way. No freakin' way." She nods, both embarrassed and not really wanting to admit it. Hanna's mother grabs us both and drags us over to the men.

Now Roki is staring at me. "You know of us?" I nod. Roki blinks, then gets a look of possible enlightenment. "Wait... the way you fought ...it's got to be! You're the awesome fighter that freed the Grand Duke and his sons from Nada's prison!" He's excitedly pointing at me, with too much force to him. I back up a step. Roki is a bit overwhelming when excited, it turns out.

I nod. "We went with them into the White Mist woods to get to Guzena. That's where we met Irktule. He's the spirit of the morning mist tree. We helped him destroy the monster and the demon that plagued the forest, so he's been helping us."

"You've seen my husband?" his wife's eyes tear up.

I nod, "Last I knew, they were safely with Gaya, Banadam, and a few others who are strong warriors, plus two seers. They should still be safe."

"Thank you for helping him escape, Kizak," Hanna says soberly to me. "We were very worried about them." Her brow creases, "But, we never expected they would put a bounty on our heads, too. That's troublesome."

Irktule appears again. "Ohh... he's so pretty!" I glance at Hanna's mother, then look at Irktule. Even I can see him and hear him again. That's not good.

"They opened the barrier and let evil spirits through. I've had to compress the shield to just around you. They also carried evil seeds inside their guts. After Izark said the words to help him, the seeds left all three men."

"Irktule, can you tell me any more about these evil seeds?" I ask immediately.

"They are each about the size of a cherry, and they look like dark pits to me. The evil spirits are like small living shadows that hover, particularly around people who choose evil and darkness."

"I've seen it," I say with a shudder. "When I was calling for you, Kizak. The bad men who were chasing me had them over their heads and it frightened me."

I reach for her and tuck her under one arm to comfort her now for that scare then. She holds onto my jacket, just as glad to be there at the memory.

"Many people are carrying them now, some a few, some many. These had many, and large ones. Just before that man began to transform, many more entered his body." Irktule finishes his report.

"Will you come to our house?" Hanna offers.

Izark and I look at each other. "Izark. This is like last time. The force of good has put us in a place to help this same family. I don't know why. Irktule has even been protecting them without knowing it, because he was protecting us."

I accept Hanna's offer. "We would be glad to."

Chapter Text

Noriko and I are sitting next to each other at the dining table sipping on tea Duchess de Gilenee has made and poured for us. Hanna is pacing. "Alef, you said that the darkness is getting worse and more good men are being forced out of government offices."

Roki nods. Ah, he was using an alias also. I wonder if Hanna is as well? "It's been the worst in the last month. Many people were removed from many countries all over, according to the stories I've heard in town. Most people are saying it's because a vast evil force is at work." That's how long it's been since the Source of Evil moved to capture us and lost. It hasn't stopped influencing the world. It will try to capture me again.

Hanna looks distantly, worried. "I wonder how our Zago is doing now?" She paces to the wall and slams a fist on it. "I want to protect Zago also against this evil, but how can I do that? I'm just one woman, not even in that country any more to make a difference. I want to do something, but I feel so small and insignificant." Noriko perks up. Hanna's frustrated, but she's stirred the Teacher.

"Um, Hanna," I hesitantly offer, "your father felt the same way. It was hard to see him frustrated and depressed, but while he was with us, he found an answer that helped him." Hanna turns to look at me. Her utter frustration and helplessness stirs me.

"I don't know if it will help you, but he said that when he chose to accept that he was only one man, rather than be frustrated by it, that it allowed him to see what he could do. He realized that even if it was a small thing, if every day he did what was possible to him, then it would add up with what everyone else was doing around him. As the efforts of everyone combine, the overall effect can be large.

"Like here. I can only cut four rows of grain in a morning, and sometimes longer. But that is four rows the farmer didn't have to cut. All of the grain cut by all of us becomes a large basket. His grain goes to the market -- through Roki who is only doing what he can do in buying it from the farmer and selling it at the market. From there it goes to feed a house. Maybe it's a house of a person who can help you in some small way because they had the nourishment necessary to perform their work for the day.

"My effort was small, but it has helped others through the small efforts of others working with mine. I learned to understand this from your father. Maybe it can help you, too." I can see she's thinking about it.

I offer what comfort I can. "When we left them, they were going together to find others like Grand Duke Jeida who'd been removed from their offices but who still wanted to help their countries. Gaya's sister, Zena, felt that if they could all be brought together, maybe together their efforts could have a positive effect on our world."

Hanna stares at me, then slowly says, "If there were anything I could do, it would be that -- to join them and help them. Would you come with us and help us find them?"

I want to put my head down on my arms. I can't decide if I want to laugh at the continuing irony or be terribly depressed and moan.

I look down at my cup. It's a job falling in my lap, but there are other considerations that I'd like to discuss with Noriko first, and Hanna needs to discuss with Alef if he'll welcome additional travelers who are also being looked for. It's his responsibility to keep these two women safe for the Duke.

"It's true we need to leave this place as soon as possible, and if we could work out a paying arrangement, I would consider it. But, ...we also bring possible danger with us. I'm not sure if it's a good idea."

He stands and I rise with him, feeling his pain. This is not a simple decision for us.

We've discussed this as a group enough. "Grand Duke Jeida is a friend and we would help you for his sake. Let us think about it and talk to Barago. You must also decide if you really want us to come with you." I take Noriko's hand in my arm and escort her to the door.

"Um...," Alef interrupts, "just who are you and what are you running from?" I suppose he would want to know in order to make his decision. 

Obviously I'm not going to give him the truth. I smile. "Geena is a princess and I was her country's most gallant knight. We eloped." I close the door behind us before they can ask questions.

When we get far enough, I say, "You liked that one best, huh?" I'm trying to not hurt for him. Maybe if I lift myself he will be also.

Noriko has rather automatically taken hold of the back of my jacket again. I think it's the habit from before, now that we're going to leave again. "You are my princess, Noriko."

I tease him. "I suppose, but if you're really my knight, then we should do that proper, you know." He looks quizzical. "I don't know how that's done here, but since it's all storybook anyway, I'll tell you that. The knight kneels in front of the person they're going to pledge loyalty to, takes the hand of that person like this," I demonstrate, "and pledges their loyalty, then kisses the back of the hand. If I had a sword, I'd knight you, too, but we can assume that's already been done if you want."

It seems that she's playing -- now that she's explained she does that too -- since she doesn't blush but she's not really teaching either. I want to see if she really is playing, and if it's because she's uncertain about our future again, or perhaps she may just enjoy it. She did call it "all storybook" although it's related to the rumors. Of course any false face we put on for others somewhat fits into that category.

I stop her and go down on one knee in front of her. I take her hand in mine and look up into her face. She looks a little stunned that I've chosen to play along and her other hand drifts up to curl in front of her heart.

ba-thump! My heart nearly leaps out of my chest and I'm suddenly holding my breath. No way. Just every woman's romantic dream. I might faint.

"Noriko, I pledge my undying loyalty to you for all of my life." I lift her hand to kiss the back of it gently. Her hand is suddenly warm and when I look up her ears are turning very red. Then the heat must reach her eyes, for they begin to drip tears. That wasn't really what I expected at all, nor what I really wanted. I stand and wipe her cheek. "Noriko, I didn't mean to make you cry." She swallows, opens her mouth, then closes it. I'm a little surprised she's so moved as to not be able to talk aloud, since she can usually always talk.

The fire of the touch of his lips to the back of my hand rushes up my arm and to my face. I'm trying to protect my heart with my other hand, curling the fingers over it. I swallow, trying to get words out, then give up. "No, Izark. My heart is so full, that's the only way it can express all the things in it. ...If anything you've set the heart connection completely. It will never be broken." There are other things my logical mind is screaming to say, but since I can't talk and the words will only come out in a jumble anyway, I don't say them.

I don't know if her thinking is true, nor how it could have happened from us just playing, but she is everything I want at the moment -- the Noriko who loves to be loved -- and I can only answer with the right response. Holding her head gently I bend close to her. When my lips touch her warm ones our breaths mingle and there is only her and myself in the world in that moment. 

There's only one thing left. He does it and I'm gone -- hook, line, and sinker. The kiss fills me from my head to my toes and lingers. One more time Izark could take me to his bed and I wouldn't say no. I'm grateful when he picks me up and carries me. I'm just this shade of swooning and have no strength left. I rest my head on his shoulder and put my hand over his heart, feeling his warmth, swimming in the feel of him.

I can feel her strength leaving her and I need to get us off this little road out in the open, and away from eyes. I pick her up and carry her away until we're up in a small woods on a hill in this area.  On the way she rests her head on my shoulder and her hand over my heart, silent. But I feel her there with me, and everywhere. I am drowning in her, and perhaps she is also drowning in me.

When I gently lay her down in the shade under a tree, she doesn't complain and her eyes close. She can't hear me and that worries me. I sit under the tree and put her head in my lap. She still doesn't react when I place my hand on her forehead and then run my fingers through her hair.

She said the heart connection had changed with my words at her play, and now she's this way, and even I feel differently. How can words suddenly and unexpectedly have such strength? If Noriko was only playing, has something been set she'll be unhappy with having happened to her? ...What have I done?

I slowly return to the present, slowly opening my eyes. It takes a moment for the haze to lift. Izark's face is above mine and his expression is somber. I'm lying on the grass, my head in his lap. He's leaning on a tree so that we're in the shade. I want this moment to last longer, and I want to sit up and pretend like it never happened.

I choose to not move. His expression needs addressing first. I do finish clearing my head by taking a deep breath and letting it out fully and slowly, then repeat it. "I'm sorry. Have I been gone long?" I reach for his near hand and hold it in mine. He acts like he's afraid to touch me.

"Noriko, ...have I done something you're unhappy with?" I'm sad, uncertain, wishing I could go back and undo what I've done, whatever it is. It feels like I've made a similar mistake to the one of leaving her alone with Gaya, only to immediately have troubles find her.

"No, Izark," I answer gently.

But.... "If something I did has made it so you can't ever be free if you want to be...."

Noriko gently squeezes my hand and reaches for my face with her other to lightly caress my cheek and jaw. It's very hard to not flinch away.

"Izark. I've told you. I don't need to be free. Since I came, I've been happy to be with you. I chose it already, when we talked before, remember? I said it: if I chose to love you, it would be for the rest of my life. Just because your sincere words may or may not have added to the strange magic of our connection, that didn't change my decision from before. It's only strengthened the feelings of my heart."

My heart gives one hard thump and I swallow. This is such uncertain ground. I feel so unsteady, wanting yet afraid.

"I'm more worried about what you've done to yourself if you're immortal. You've pledged yourself to me for your life. You've disallowed yourself from ever having happiness later with any other princess you find." A tear drips from my eye and rolls down my temple. "It would make me sad if you couldn't find happiness later, once you were no longer sad at my passing."

All I want is her. Eternity is rather vast and distant. I can only blink at her and how she can jump right to such vast thoughts. I sigh and try to calm that worry of hers. "I'll assume for now I'm not immortal. It makes things easier to think about."

I pause, then smile. "I do agree with that. Right now there's something else to think about that's not so easy, I think." He looks a little confused. I clarify. "If we help Hanna, her mother, and Alef -- and I think we should because the force of good wants us to -- we'll likely have to face everyone else again. Can you do that?" 

How can she all of a sudden ascribe a living presence to whatever it is that may have been influencing us to do good things, even if we didn't know we were? I suppose if there's a Source of All Evil, there might be a Source of All Good. Would that be what she's talking about? I'd like to see more evidence it exists, I think.

And having to face the others who traveled with us and suspect what I am? It was hard enough to face them and not run before. She's right that it will be difficult to face them again.

"I still say they aren't going to turn you away, Izark. They fought with you, helped us, stayed with us, even knowing or suspecting before then." 

Before they saw me change they might have known what we were? That shock must have shown on my face, because Noriko gives a nod of confirmation.

"Geena knew, although I swore her to secrecy. I'm sure her father suspected from the beginning, since he asked her to see for him. Gaya doesn't care. She's known you for years. Zena will follow her lead, and her girls will follow hers.

"Barago will follow you just because you're strong and showed him a better path. Banadam will haunt us both if we let him. If we bring Duke Jeida his family, he won't be able to harbor any more thoughts of worry."

While most of this is new to me, as usual her arguments are incontrovertible. She pauses for me, but even then I don't know how to put everything together, it's all so hugely vast to my mind.

She finishes with, "I can't believe the force that leads us to do good would put people in place to support us that would turn against us. Even Doros knows exactly what we are and is helping us, the same with Irktule. There are people who see that you aren't evil and want to see that the good you're doing is supported and helped. If you can trust me, I think you can also trust them."

I run my hand through my hair, making the long locks fall in waterfalls. I take a deep breath, trying to find the surface, trying to comprehend without being completely overwhelmed.

I finally have to complain. This was larger than all of her other firm statements of conviction put together, it feels like. I'm really only just now being able to find peace within myself and my own long years of self-hatred. "Noriko, sometimes you make me swim in deep water and I wonder where the air is." She blinks, not really understanding.

That's an interesting turn of phrase. I wonder what it means? Although, that's how I was feeling just before I passed out. I'm not sure it's the same, though.

Perhaps it's more that I force him to believe a thing before he's ready to, not giving him the opportunity to choose to continue to believe what he's been believing all along. That's one of the problems with my logical mind. I can't back off and let people learn it on their own. I have to convince them that what I've seen is right from the beginning. I'm not sure how to change that.

For this entire day until now something has been pushing on me and it's so massive, so new and different, I don't know what to even see. It almost seems as if whatever it is that stands behind her and her conviction has said that because I've taken that one step I now must face the next one. As if I'll be forced to continue to see myself in a way I never have before, and it will be the way Noriko sees me. But what she sees is so vastly different than what I'm used to being. When she makes these statements I want to flee back into the darkness I know and understand. 

Am I really to learn something so large before, or as, we begin to make this next step? I'm rueful as I remember some of the students I passed in the university town one time on my caravan travels. They were wishing their vacation was longer, complaining that they weren't ready yet to work so hard as their professors were going to push the knowledge onto them. That's how I feel. Like this place has been a vacation and suddenly today I'm back in school before I was prepared to be, and Noriko -- the Teacher -- is my professor, and she is relentless.

"I'm sorry, Izark. Neither of us will really know until we arrive. That's just how I see it." I frown at him, a scolding look. "But I don't want to run from it either, Izark. Just like the saying good-bye. Some things need to be faced. Otherwise the never knowing leaves too much pain behind. Even if they do reject us and we have to leave, at least it's [closure]. It's complete. We know not to return again." I look up into his eyes, feeling clear, having had my say. I wait for him to decide.

I sigh and put my hand on the top of her head and gently caress it, more to give myself courage perhaps. "The strength of Noriko, to look fearlessly into the face of the fearful and accept the answer it gives." I'm not sure I can do it, but I know she'll drag me with her. If the force for good in this world is acting on me because I've chosen to fight evil with all my being, then I'll be pushed along by it also until I can walk where Noriko walks.

I can only slump in utter defeat and let a small part of myself complain that perhaps I shouldn't have made that declaration as I fell into the very depths of the stronghold of evil itself. I've somehow been claimed by its opposite. I can only hear in my ears that it's my own fault, and cringe.

I grin. "And then to tell it it's wrong and I'm right. I'm afraid a lot of pride goes into that strength, which is not always a good thing."

I have to smile with her. "That's true. You do that, too. I was very surprised the first time you did that to me."

I laugh, mostly embarrassed. "I was very determined, yes. I'm afraid I went too far, though, that time." He tips his head at me and the teasing look is on his face. I groan inside and brace myself for it.

She has beautifully opened herself up to me. She braces herself for it, her eyes rolling just a little, since she recognizes that also. "It was an interesting lesson. I learned more about you in that time than I would have ever learned, I think. I was thinking, ‘What a strange creature I've found, to not even be embarrassed to talk about such a thing before there are even words past a simple introduction'."

Her face flames satisfactorily, and properly, too, since that was too much for a first meeting of anyone, for all it well prepared me for everything that happened after it.

"Oh, I was embarrassed -- after the lesson. When I'm teaching I'm not present -- not my heart and sense anyway. Just the knowledge and the need to teach it. I felt that in order to present my case I had to make sure everything I wasn't sure you knew was known, then an understanding could be reached."

I nod, my teasing smile on my face still. I'm not done repaying that time yet. "I was surprised when you said you would be a doctor. I would have thought lawyer instead." I grin.

I groan. "No. Almost anything but that."

I raise a mocking eyebrow. "You would be very formidable."

I sit up, then hold still. I'm dizzy for just a bit. "Perhaps, but I know nothing about law, particularly the laws of this world. I would rather serve by being a doctor, a researcher, and a teacher ...after I'm done helping you with your work, when things are peaceful again."

It's surprised out of me. "You think peace will come?"

I frown at him slightly. "Of course. That's what you're here for. It might take a while, but --"

Ah...oh dear. I've done it to myself this time, letting something slip to make the force for good and Noriko push me again when I'm still reeling from the lesson already given. I quickly put my fingers on Noriko's lips to halt the tide threatening me yet again. "You will make me drown again." Noriko asks questions with her expression, respecting my request to not say it.

I hesitate, then must tell her, or I'll continue to drown daily until I suffocate or survive out of desperate self-preservation. "I have lived in darkness and self-doubt for so long that to have your light shine so brightly on me and my life is...difficult. I appreciate it, even need it, but I need to come to it more slowly." The sun quickly comes out for her at that explanation.

"Oh. Well. That will be difficult, I suppose. Please keep telling me when I've gone too far. You are already light to me."

She has come out and said it directly, what she sees. It's so foreign I can only gape at her, then shake my head. Only Noriko. That's what I can believe for now. Perhaps some day I'll be able to believe it more for others, even if today I have to begin to understand that the others have already known. That will take me many days of pondering, I think, in order for my heart and being to believe it.

I can hear him thinking "only Noriko", but he doesn't say it this time. He knows he'll get another lecture, probably, and I've just listed off others who agree with me -- twice.

I rise to my feet and offer Noriko my hand. "Let's go find Doros."

I take his hand to stand with him, and my breath catches. My heart still hasn't quite recovered yet.

She's still unstable. I thought she might have recovered by now. "Are you okay?" I ask, still worried about what's happened to her and not understanding it.

"Ah," I look away from him, then give up, ducking my head. "I'm feeling like a new bride," I admit. "My heart still hasn't settled." My face heats again, admitting it out loud.

She has captured me with the pale blush on her cheeks and the shy look. Her words entrap me and I am suddenly needing to hold very still. I just as suddenly want to pull her close to me again, and not just to hold her, but to kiss her and then to not stop. I struggle to distance myself by focusing on the hand in mine. How small it is and how it's become calloused from the farm work, but how delicate it is even still. It isn't helping. I try to let her hand go, and can't. I don't want to. That's the opposite of what I want to do. I have to bring all my will to bear to hold myself very still.

He holds very still until I worry enough to look at him. He's apparently been standing there stunned the whole time.

I blink a few times, trying to return to the present, then turn my face away from her, feeling my own face turning red. What have I done? It's a gentle need to love her fully -- desperate, but gentle. I really don't know what to do about this. I need to protect her, and to respect her family, and her, but I can't let her hand go. 

She's waiting for me to answer her, though, so I finally take a deep breath. "That... that is rather unsettling, isn't it?" I can't meet her eyes. I don't know if she wants it, and I'm afraid if she says she does I won't be able to continue to say no. Is this also a testing lesson to go along with the others of the day?

I get the feeling that he's trying very hard to not flee in order to protect me. It pushes my button. 

Noriko grips my hand tightly which helps me recover some, but then she steps into me, putting her forehead on my chest. I jump and yelp slightly in surprise. That was dangerous. Her hold on my hand is so tight I can't escape. I can only breathe until I can recover. When I think I have the strength to separate us instead of anything else, I reach for her shoulder with my free hand and push her back a little.

She looks up at me through her eyelashes, and has her teasing grin on her face. I groan. "I should have known." I'm going to lose again.

I look up at him, the evil grin still in place. "You can love me, and I can love you, but you can't run away, Izark. Not any more."

I lose to compassion. Her tears cause me to hurt sympathetically, although I also find it surprising that again tears come for this. I wipe them from her cheeks. "You're doing it again, Noriko," I say quietly.

"Yeah," I say. "I'm a water fountain. But you've known that since the beginning, too."

I have. From even before the lectures of the Teacher, Noriko the girl has been sad, lonely, lost, and it hurts to think that I will run, even if it is to protect her. I take her in my arms to comfort the pain. "Yeah," I answer softly. "I remember. ...I promise, I won't run away."

I nod in his chest. "I'll be holding you to that."

He chuckles slightly. "I'm sure you will." A light shudder goes through him, though. Even this much contact is still too much for him right now, for all I tried to use teasing to smooth it over. Likely things will be awkward for a while while we try to adjust again to the changing relationship we have.

I sigh in resignation, wanting to let the tears flow harder at the thought. "Damn emotions," I say quietly. "I really prefer to let my head do the leading out, not my heart. The heart just gets things all tangled up. I'm sorry."

Focusing on the conversation is good right now. "...No, I may not have understood what I was doing, but it was still my fault. I'm sorry."

"...Please don't be. That's how we got here. I want to know you love me as much as I love you, or it hurts too much. I just wish it wasn't going to make us both afraid."

I freeze and a lump is instantly in my throat. I want to shiver in nervousness, to unhear what I just heard. My arms tighten around her slightly to hold myself, but really there is only one solution if we aren't going to be let out of this strange place we're suddenly in. We can't stay standing here like this all day, and irritatingly we haven't been able to change our situation for all we've tried multiple times now. I say gently, "You know, there is really only one way to solve that."

I turn my head slightly, to look out at the woods around us and fields below us. "Yeah. I know. Do you know how many gossips are watching us right now?"

I grasp at the one thin straw she's just offered. "Ah, good point. Postponement until tonight?"

I give a small nod. "Probably a good idea. ...We might even come to our senses by then ...though I doubt it."

She sounds a bit morose for her. But when I consider it, I'm going to have to agree. I sigh. "Mm. Probably not. It's either that or I'm running."

I snort lightly, but a tear drips. "Yeah. I know. ...I'd really rather you didn't."

I promise it again with a kiss to the side of her head. "I won't." It still takes everything I have to not move for a while, watching gossips or not.

When my strength returns to me just enough, Noriko leaves my arms which have protected us both until now and takes the back of my jacket in her hand.

"We need to see Doros," I say quietly, not looking at him.

I don't look at her either. We barely have enough strength for this much -- to walk together to find another human being.

Whatever will become of us? I bemoan to myself. What does the force for good want from me, from us, if upon the very first day of being tied together by it as tightly as if by marriage bonds it wants us to live out that very first lecture, also so strongly given and required? I shudder and don't think of anything at all except our immediate requirement: to find Doros and tell him it's time to go.

Chapter Text

I'm leaning against the back of the wagon carrying us and the remaining items from the general store that couldn't be sold in the village, resting my arm over the side and my head on my arm, just watching the land roll by. Considering ourselves married to deal with the increased bonding caused by Izark's vow of loyalty brought other unexpected changes and concerns.

I can now feel Izark everywhere all the time, even though I still know where he is specifically. It was as if in formally pledging himself to me that this world put a collar and chain on him and put the end of it in my hand -- or rather staked it to my heart. I can feel that connection all the time now. It brings me comfort. When I'm even remotely missing him, all I have to do is sink into that feeling and he is with me. I'm doing that now, since he's at the opposite end of the wagon, holding the horse's reins.

Alef is next to him. They're discussing the plans once again: that we're going to Stenny, the next city on the path, to sell off all that's left in the wagon. Then we'll go to the coast and gain passage over to the western continent and try to find Grand Duke Jeida and the others.

Everyone else is in the wagon with me: Doros and the chimos, Glocia (Hanna's real name), and her mother Niana plus all the stuff. My ear pricks up when Alef asks Izark if he will be an entertainer to bring in more sales if sales are slow.

Noriko's emotions flutter about and are as cacophonous as a flock of colorful birds all sitting in her one tree. I know they're hers because I know all of mine intimately. Mine are dark and quiet, for the most part, and I've been practicing a lot to control them so they don't rise above the surface. Ever since she told me that they are what drive my physical changes I've worked even harder at it. In the main I can control them as long as I'm in a situation that doesn't make the fear or anger rise (anger has always been slow to rise anyway).

These emotions flicker and flit from here to there, from one to another, and are random from my point of view. But that's how she speaks as well, so I have to wonder if she thinks like she speaks -- which she probably does. I'm feeling her conversations with herself. It's worse the closer we are, and I'm grateful she sat in the back of the wagon so I can practice tamping her emotions down while Alef's talking to me. (I guess it's good I got so much practice before at doing so with mine.)

The next town over is called Stenny, and it has a large bazaar. The de Gilenee's sold as much of their product as possible to the farmers of the village. The rest is packed in the wagon with us. They'll sell it in Stenny and use the proceeds to purchase passage across the ocean to Zago for all six of us.

I've been hired on as a bodyguard, to help Alef protect the Duchess Niana and her daughter, whose real name is Glocia. They've promised me enough pay after we reach the coast to purchase a good sword at the smithies there. I've asked for enough to hopefully also be able to get two knives (one for me and one for Noriko) and a few other things we're likely to need.

"So, since we'd like to be out of Stenny as fast as possible...," a hand lands on my shoulder -- again. As the commander of his soldiers, Alef has learned habits of camaraderie that make my skin crawl. "...I was hoping to talk you into staging a martial arts demonstration to draw in the crowds."

I look pointedly at his hand. "Why is your hand on my shoulder?" 

Alef blinks and after a bit of thinking, removes it. Then I deign to answer him. "You hired me as a bodyguard, not an entertainer or business partner."

Alef's definitely a negotiator. I think he's been protecting political leaders too long. Perhaps that's why he's a good businessman. He starts right in. He's not as good as Noriko, but he's finally talked himself around to where I wanted him to be. I puff a sigh of resignation. "Fine. If business isn't good, I'll draw people in, but I want a bonus."

His eyes widen, ...as if he thought I was just going to give in? Really? Not only do I hate performing, I don't want to be noticed or remembered, and he's forgetting that Noriko and I are on the run and in hiding, too. He's going to pay dearly, as far as I'm concerned. I've only agreed at all because I happen to agree we want to sell as much as possible as fast as possible at as high a price as we can get.

Alef slumps to rest on his hand and complain at me. "Such a dashing warrior on the outside but such an old woman penny-pincher inside. It's almost frightening."

"You frighten me the way you keep trying to make me work for you for nothing," I say back dryly.

"Actually, I'm scaring myself, acting like such a stingy merchant. I've been a warrior all my life. I never had anything to do with commerce before the coup forced us to flee the country. Now I have to eke out a living as a merchant to support the three of us. Can you imagine how humiliating it is for me to have to beg you to help me?"

I'm hearing the flapping gums of the politician hoping to beg his way out of spending money again. "Quit whining."

He glares at me. "You're impossible."

I give him a knowing look. "Are you sure you were a commander? I would have said politician. They make such good merchants." He closes his mouth and goes from a glare to looking over the countryside. I'm glad he'll be quiet now.

I laugh to myself. Izark really doesn't like that idea. He hates to bring attention to himself. That's going to be a hard sell. But then..., the last time he agreed to do that we brought hell on earth to us. I hope that doesn't happen again. He hasn't forgotten that either, I'm sure. I'm not surprised when he agrees -- provisionally.

I go back to my musings. Doros had, of course, agreed to go with us wherever we went. He's like a puppy that's attached itself to us, and I'm afraid I find it endearing. I can't turn him away and would rather have him around. It's a comfort to me that he knows what we are and doesn't care. It makes me feel not quite so alone, particularly now we're with people all the time we can't tell again.

Niana and Glocia both want to pry and ask close questions, like where I'm a princess of and that sort of thing. I've fallen back on the old original story that I'm (now we're) from a remote island, so that has been randomly mixed in. 

I can't help but think about how when one lie is started, so many more have to be added to it (and somehow remembered) to keep it standing. I wish we didn't have to do it. My brain is good, but even I can't remember all those details that they keep pressing me for. I'm telling truths as much as I can to save my sanity.

I did manage to distract them for a while back in the village while we were getting the store ready for the sell-off. I thought about asking the farmer's wife, but I was afraid it would add to the rumors, so I decided to ask Niana. She's married and had kids after all, and is traveling with us so she can be my surrogate mother for a while.

Is there birth control in this world? That was main concern I had. Izark and I can't afford children, not until this whole mess is cleared up. It's hard enough for him to take care of me on the road all the time, in hiding. Trying to do that while pregnant or with an infant and children is way too much. Completely ridiculous. It's part of why he's been willing to wait on me and withhold this long. Completely reasonable and very practical.

The heart had other things to say about it, though. Stupid heart emotions. Makes this so complicated.... Not that I minded in the end. I tuck my face into my elbow and blush. Izark was so sweet and gentle, for all we both felt very clumsy. It was good we had more than one day (and night) to figure it out and get it out of our systems. The waves of those emotions still hit me regularly, but I'm not completely overwhelmed by them any more.

Really. This being or source of good and light that's done this to me better have a good reason for it. This just isn't me at all to be dragged around by my heart and body. I still drown every now and again. That's why I'm on the far side of the wagon. If I'm too close to him my mind starts shutting down.

I really hate being in heat. It isn't human. But, as I said, I'm better now than I was the first two days. Even Doros noticed and asked if I was okay. I was honest. "No, I'm not. I might be later." Izark was sympathetic. He was having the same trouble. We managed to let Doros know we were leaving with the de Gilenee's before we had to escape. Being with other people that day was nearly impossible. We were fortunate I was in the part of my cycle where it wasn't a problem. That would have been a very big problem.

Anyway, Niana was as enthusiastic about helping me as I expected her to be. She is sweet, for being a ditz. Somehow I managed to convince her to not be suspicious that I knew nothing but needed to know it. She thought it was sweet we'd run away to elope but been shy with each other this long.

I milked it, saying I'd been afraid to admit I didn't know the birds and the bees very well, and that we'd been afraid because we were where we couldn't have children yet and we only knew that as long as we abstained they wouldn't come. She'd launched into a long, flowery, yet very informative lesson for me ...and hadn't been shy about adding Izark into it when he showed up.

He blushed furiously and glared at me. I just raised a practical eyebrow at him, reminding him who I was. He'd done his best to escape as soon as he could, but only by turning to work on the shelves of items. He'd been hooked, I could tell. He was listening pretty closely. I don't ask stupid questions. He needed the answers as much as I did.

I rest my head on my arm. I'm actually pretty worn out. Selling the items from the store, getting them delivered, packing what was left into the wagon, saying our goodbyes. Getting told crazy things by people who'd gotten all the gossip mixed up. (I roll my eyes again just thinking about it.) It's kind of sad to leave it behind, the only "normal" I've known the whole time I've been here. I wonder if we'll ever have a normal.

...Well, that's the goal, I suppose, but who knows when. I've been here for nearly a year now. In a lifetime, that isn't very long, but it feels long to me, so much has happened, and I'm so far from home in time now, not just distance.

I'm equally glad Noriko has finally changed thoughts from the two of us to other things. Those emotions can be nice, but not when they become as strong or as distracting as they were the first day and even the few days after that. Working in the same field was difficult, at best. That's when we learned distance helped. I took the opposite side of the field, but we still couldn't drag our attention away from each other very well.

She didn't fall asleep as soon as we reached our room for those nights. Just getting through dinner with the farmer's family was terribly difficult. We skipped the first day's meal with them, heading straight back to the house after we talked to Doros. (As I expected, he agreed to come with us, not wanting to be left there alone. We don't need him to be captured and interrogated, either.)

I learned a lot, not just in what a woman really is, but also in this matter of sharing emotions. I learned pretty quickly at that time that most of what I was feeling was actually Noriko's emotions. That made it somewhat easier, actually, since I could temper her fear just as it was rising.

I'm glad I'm not a woman. Now that we're able to have that particular issue resolved it's so easy to tell that, just generally, I'm not as affected by this new connection as she is.

Noriko goes from thinking about us, to general musings, her emotions going to a low ebb. I like those moments, as brief as they usually are. I hope I get more quiet times as she gets used to this..., assuming she understands it.

Her next emotion is one that creeps up, then sits there looking sad, because it is sadness. It starts slipping further down into a painful sorrow and my compassion rises -- that's a hard one for me to control, particularly when it relates to her. She only gets that feeling when she's missing her family. I already know that from observing her over the last almost year she's been here.

The painful sorrow eases, then is let go and for a time I have some relief. The emotions fluctuate, but quietly, and for a while it feels like when she played with the distances between us. Is she playing with the emotions, now, trying to learn how this connection works in the same way she experimented with the first connection? I hope so. Go faster, Noriko.

I don't really say it to her. It would be unkind, since it wasn't her fault to begin with. I feel her compassion now, and I think I'm right in guessing she's experimenting and playing. That would have been in response to my guilt and slight desperation. The combination in me is similar to depression, since the three go hand in hand and are well practiced by my mind and body. They are the three, plus fear, that are tied to my strong desire to not become the Sky Demon.

Izark must be paying attention to me. A flicker of compassion comes down the connection because I'm feeling this little bit of depression. I tip my head like I'm being pet. It feels like that anyway. Our connection is now that close, that the emotions cross it. It's been a new way, a strange way, and yet a comforting way of communicating. We haven't discussed it yet, but I think he knows about that change. It's a two way street, after all.

I've been considering it. I think that when we're both having the same emotion, we amplify each other. That's why we were drowning the first couple of days. Getting the need out of our systems calmed us both down so that we could stop amplifying each other.

When we're feeling separate things, we can anchor each other. I feel depressed, he can comfort me. He feels fear, I can be his courage. I'm most worried about what will happen if we both feel fear at the same time. It could be deadly paralysis, so I'm already working on how to handle that. It will take some experimentation and practice, I know, but we've got to start at the beginning and the sooner the better.

I'm working on that, half dozing, when Glocia cries out and points. We're passing what looks like an inch worm, except that it's a foot and a half long and more than an inch in diameter. From the comments from the others, it's about as unexpected to them, too. It's frightening.

What a strange world this is where evil is so physically present and active. On Earth it's only within the hearts of men, as far as modern man goes. (All of the lore says otherwise.) But I've never heard of it being able to morph plant and animal life. It's a part of this world that's incomprehensible to me.

"What is that?" Glocia cries out and points. 

Alef and I turn to see what she's pointing at. We're relieved it's not an enemy, but what it is is so odd we stare after it in a bit of shock. Alef shudders. "That's a leafy shade caterpillar, but it's ten times as big as a normal one, if not more." He turns back. "That is not good. I've also been noticing that many trees are dying. Something evil is afoot for the world to be changing like this in such odd ways." I agree with him. I'm feeling fear, a nervous fear with a bit of the shock mixed in, and something else I'm not sure I recognize.

Ah, this is a good time. "Izark, send comfort down. That's my fear." 

Oh, is that what it is? Her fear of the strange and unfamiliar? I look over my shoulder at her, surprised she would tell me. She just looks back at me calmly from where she's resting her head on her arms as she leans over the side of the wagon. She has to sit on the merchandise, so is high enough that's a comfortable position. I don't mind helping her experiment, since I want it to go faster.

I go back to watching where I'm directing the horses and think of how I feel when I wrap my arms around her to comfort her -- my compassion and caring concern. It could be she needs that, or it could be she needs me to feel like how I feel when she comforts me, but I want to start here. It would be easier for me to just feel the way I feel naturally, rather than have to reverse things.

I feel his comforting warmth and calmness enter my heart. I look at it to understand, take it, and sigh in relief, closing my eyes again.

Noriko allows what I bring to the surface to comfort her fear and relaxes, the fear taking its exit. "Thanks."

"...You understand this?" I ask, wondering how far she's gotten.

"No, not yet. Still experimenting. That was just a good time, since I knew whose it was and you need to learn to tell us apart at that level. You do a good job already, actually, it's just that one confused you. I think you live in fear so often you can't tell when it's mine."

It was a different confusion, but such details don't come across the connection. We can only guess or ask.

"If we're both afraid at the same time it will be as bad as it was when we were both drowning in love together, only death will be the result."

And that would be why I don't really like this connection. The rest of it is odd. That is dangerous. It was dangerous enough when we were drowning in love, as she's put it. I can't afford to drown in fear. That's how I lose to the Sky Demon.

I can feel his sober understanding ...and his fear rise up. I already know that it's his. I focus and send my comfort to him, my small surety that we can learn to harness this also. It grows until I'm picturing me holding him in my arms like he holds me in his. 

Noriko's comfort comes to calm my fear that has opened its eyes to look at me. From my perspective, to open up the door to my fear is like looking into a room that is so vast and large and filled with darkness that the boundaries of it are unknowable. But I can stand outside the doorway now and only see it, not have it overwhelm me.

Her comfort comes to stand with me in front of that doorway, like she stands next to me. But slowly, perhaps because I only stand there with the door open, experimenting to see what happens, her feeling changes until it's so large at my back as to equal my fear, and then it's larger.

Because it's larger, I can't hold it at bay and her surety that I am good, that I have nothing to fear from myself, overwhelms me like it does when she speaks it. To really feel that she honestly does believe it to such a degree makes my heart cry and want to sob, like the little boy who wants his mother to hold him and tell him the world is still good, that they are okay, that everything will be alright. I may need it, but not while sitting on a wagon next to another man who won't understand why tears drip from my eyes. Because she's paying attention, Noriko realizes what she's done.

Ah..., I back it off. I'm making him cry. It was too much. "Sorry." I say it softly and "release" the "arms" holding him slowly. I suspect just "disappearing" might be too much of a break. I take it down to a "holding hands" level, as if I'm sitting next to him. That's better.

Slowly the certainty and the comfort both are taken back inside her until it's just enough that it's as if she's standing in front of the door next to me, holding my hand. The level of companionship and calm trust. I like that level much better. I hope she can learn to do that with her words, too, once she's learned it here. She has been trying since I explained it to her.

I like being able to feel like I'm holding her hand even when we're apart in distance, so I stay there for a while. I'm surprised when I can tell she's getting tired. Talking makes us tired, too. Is this the same? I give her an emotional "thank you" and let the "hand" go. The comfort eases away, and I do have to agree that just a sudden disappearance is harder. This was gentle. Feeling her emotions that go along with her thoughts can be jarring. 

When he lets go of my "hand", I let the image in my head of me next to him fade slowly out until I'm back in my own body, so to speak. Really, it's all strange, just like everything else, and just as natural -- odd, but natural.

I sigh and put my head back down on my arms. Now I'm even more tired. That must take the same kind of energy the other ways of communicating do. I slip down into a curl on the bottom of the wagon and rather quickly fall asleep.

I glance back at Noriko again a little while later and she's sleeping. It must be tiring for the person who had to hold the emotion for an extended time. I should be as careful as I was with learning to see and hear her. I can't tell how much energy of my own that used just by feel. I use Noriko's napping time as my own resting time to recover.

Her severe scold that I don't rest well enough still rings in the back of my head at times like this. I can only be sheepish that she was upset enough to not want to see me have another episode of weakness that would likely have put me into bed for another three to four days, instead of resting for the one more.

Because I was working in the fields all day, I was able to experiment with the energy of plants. The energy of the sun seems intense as far as fire energy goes. Plants can only tolerate a minimal warming from fire energy, or they whither and burn, like the trees are doing more and more the farther away from the village we get. It must have been a protected place. 

Plants also can't handle high levels of water energy. A heavy rain is okay, but being flooded for days kills them, and they prefer a series of gentle rains that lets them breathe in between. That's how I learned that they do use air energy as well.

Their roots grip the earth tightly, but also take in earth energy. I can't use it well, but I can sense it, and could tell that it was just tiny amounts constantly taken up. Plants use and store all of the energies, just in very small, gentle amounts. Then, when we eat them, that energy is returned to us. Even though it's small amounts, it adds up to just what we need if we eat the right amount. 

I watched the cows after that. They also eat the grain and grasses, so they're getting the same energy. Then we eat them. They use the energy from the plants the same way we do, but it's also being stored inside them. When we eat the meat of those who eat the plants, we're gaining the stored energy from inside them.

I watched the other animals and learned that those we eat store up the same slow energy, and move almost as slowly as the plants. The animals that move quickly, or move frequently, we don't eat. The energy becomes something different inside of them.

Then I watched people. Our bodies also release and store the energy slowly. We aren't compatible with the fast moving energy stored in fast moving creatures, like I'm not compatible with earth because it's too slow. Doros moves as slowly as the earth, so the animals have an affinity with him like they do with the earth.

Energetically speaking, I move fast, even faster than normal children who move very fast for humans. I can release large amounts of energy very quickly. That's the power and energy attacks and shields. I also absorb it much faster, but it's not the same kind of fast as the fast energy of things like song birds. More like my body soaks it up easier than most people's. And I don't need to eat to absorb energy either.

That was one of the pieces of missing things I didn't understand. It took comparing the sun's energy to fire energy to tease out one of them. The sun's energy is not just flame energy. I took my theory to Noriko and she had the reasoned answer from her world for me and it helped a lot.

There's an energy of light. The sun's energy is both heat or flame, and light. We see using light energy, yet our eyes aren't burned. They're two separate and distinct energies. When I understood that, my eyes were opened up to many things I'd seen and not been able to understand.

One of them was when I was considering how to find my final level that Noriko saw. She said my wings had been wings of light. Am I really a creature of light, down deep inside? Is light actually the energy I have the most affinity for of the fast energies, to have that one be the most powerful strength for me? Do I absorb light energy from the world around me? Is that why I don't need to eat to gain energy, and it comes quickly? It's hard to tread in those waters. I can only think of what Noriko said: "You are already light to me."

I also thought of the opposite of light energy: dark energy. I'm quite certain that's the energy I use when I'm in my demon forms. It's the energy I feel swirling around us now, if I've learned it right, that's changing the creatures and trees. As evil rises, the dark energy rises with it. At least they're connected somehow.

Noriko's goodness swirls around her and I've been trying to see what energy she has or uses, if any. She keeps it as closely contained as I do mine, at least now she does. I wonder what I would have seen before, when she didn't know? And I wonder if she is light, like she feels like, if that's how Lord Silent Mask discovered her? Can a being of darkness see and sense a concentrated source of light energy?

It wanted her to be sacrificed to it. To snuff out that much light would benefit evil, but how could light energy be so powerful a food to a dark energy creature? And if I've been a dark energy creature for so long, how can my light energy be even more powerful? Does the light energy "feed" the dark entity to give it the strength it has? My mind hurts following that path upon which I have no answers.

I wish I'd been thinking these things while standing in front of the door to my fear. I wonder if I would have seen the light energy around her if I'd turned around and looked at her, since she was using it to help me, I'm quite sure. The emotions are what the demons eat: the negative ones to feed on the energy of darkness contained within them. So the emotions are meaningful. They point to the type of energy one is using.

That's as far as I can go on that path of thinking, but it's the one I'm meditating on most now that we have this emotion connection. If we've been given lessons, perhaps the entity of light is trying to help us understand this part, and how the emotions can help us to reach our goals.

Eventually I also have to stop thinking and rest, just watching the passing fields. I can only meditate for brief times. Thinking itself takes energy and I do know when I've used too much of that.

Chapter Text

We're in Stenny and Glocia and I are both peeved. Apparently Niana is a ditz on her feet as well, and in cities where that's dangerous. We'd just gotten off the wagon in Stenny and were trying to figure out what was next when Glocia grabbed my sleeve and pulled on me. "Help me find Mother. She's wandered off again." I look around and sure enough, Niana is gone. Glocia immediately heads for the market.

"You know where to at least start looking?" I ask.

She nods. "She always goes where it's interesting -- whatever that means in her head. Likely she thought something like ‘I wonder where we'll set up in the market' and her feet got going. Once she gets there she'll see something else that will distract her. We'll have to check all the booths."

Okay, but have you stopped to check the people? One glance and I'm already worried. Most are normal people, but the number of skulkers in the shadows is even more than in Calco on the way to Gaya's house, percentage wise. For just a moment I wish Glocia had the same kind of connection with her mother I have with Izark. We really need to get to her and get out.

It isn't quite so bad in the market itself. There are enough regular customers the ne'r do wells hang back. I'm missing my paper, pens, fabric, yarn, thread,... I get distracted, too. I know Izark needs to save up most of the money for a sword. That has to be first. But, I really want to have something to keep my hands busy, too. I'm already going crazy just the short distance we've already come.

I stop and look at the prices on brushes and hair accessories and draw a sharp breath. I turn to Glocia. "These are high prices, aren't they?" She was looking at some boots and shoes.

She nods back. "Yes. I wonder if the fee to set up a shop is high?" We look at each other, worried. We only have so much to spend since we need to be able to afford ship fare for the six of us. High fees, and high taxes, will cut into that.

I look around. "Have you seen your mother yet?" Glocia shakes her head. My ‘spider sense' goes off. I carefully don't whip my head around, just casually glance another direction. Ah, damn. My heart actually cries.

I casually take Glocia's hand. "Let's go try over here?" I lead her as best I can through the closing gap without acting panicked, although my heart already is. I get a return worry emotion from Izark. I tug on it and it gets stronger. He got the message. He's worried enough he's on his way.

"Hey, you two! Halt!" I pretend they weren't talking to us, and point out a random item on the merchant's blanket we're passing and make a comment I don't even hear. Glocia is looking at me like I'm strange, but the fear on my face must be getting through to her. She looks around. I pull on her hand to get her to stop looking.

Her intake of breath says she's just figured it out and she immediately turns away and tries to join my ploy to get us away from the not-soldiers of this city. "But really, Geena, I do think the green one would be better."

"Well, maybe," I lengthen our strides just a little. She keeps up. "But I really like the brightness of yellow. It's so cheery. Add any color accent to it and it pops, too, don't you think?" I'm trying to keep her from running as that would be worse. Izark is almost to us. "But even better would be if he would buy it for you, you know?" I say to Glocia.

She nods heartily. "I wish he would, but... maybe you could get him to? You know, point it out to him and say ‘wouldn't that look cute on her', or something like that?"

I laugh, meaning it. She's not had a girlfriend to shop with for a long time either, I can tell. It would be fun if we could spend even one day getting to really do that -- without the fear of being grabbed by a goon in a uniform, preferably. "He's pretty dense, though, you know?" I answer, "Kizak, on the other hand," I reach out and he takes my hand. I look up and I smile at him, "knows exactly what I want."

Glocia looks down my arm and up his and into his face, staring at him in surprise. Izark leans down and kisses me, claiming me in front of all the eyes that want Glocia and I. I cling to her tightly, claiming her also. However, now we've stopped moving and the guards move to encircle us. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my fear so that Izark can think and move clearly. This is going to be a trial by fire.

"Hey, hey, are you three dissidents?" Whoever he is, he's self-important. Obviously one who uses the uniform to get exactly what he wants when he wants it.

"No," Izark answers back, "merchants. Can you point me the way to the city office? We were headed to get a permit." The man narrows his eyes at Izark. I start watching our back. Getting back into the old pattern is taking a while, since I've lived "normal" so long now.

I shift in towards Glocia just a bit, making the hand coming my way miss. Izark swings around to glower at the man who got too close. The adrenaline starts to kick in and I immediately give up my hope for at least a ball of yarn and knitting needles. I think we need to make my knife the second purchase.

"No, I think we should take you to the station, first, just to make sure," the first man says as if he thought about it.

"Why? What have we done?" I ask calmly and in as innocent a voice as I can manage. "We were just looking to see if we had competition before we set up."

The man scowls at me. I pull on Glocia's hand, making her stumble a bit. The hand reaching for her gets a little of her hair and she squeaks in pain. I glower at the man who did it. Glocia starts to pay better attention to the people behind her that aren't talking. Having her an active defensive participant is easier. There are five of them after all.

Izark's got two in sight and I do also, but the fifth one (who changes depending on where we're looking) keeps getting through. If she watches that one.... "Ouch!" I missed watching the fifth one and he's got me. Since I'm in the middle, that means he's got all of us.

Izark, already on edge and pushed a little more by me being on edge, moves quickly and the man holding me is not and is on the ground five feet away. Oh, dear. The three of us kind of freeze. Now they do have a right to take us in.

"Hey, hey, are you resisting? Roughing an officer?" It's one of the other guards. Yup. You got it, slime bag.

"Hey! What's going on over here?!" It's coming from farther down the thoroughfare. All of the men surrounding us get looks of sudden panic on their faces. I glance that way and see a hat headed for us. I like the potential combination.

"What are you doing?" the face under the hat and the flowing, lightly curly blond locks make me suddenly wish for a split second I wasn't already Izark's. Izark looks at me with his big surprised eyes for just a moment and I blush. That kind of feeling being passed along the connection is a problem I wish we weren't going to have to deal with.

I studiously don't look at the officer again, although I can't get my fingers to stop itching to run through his hair. It takes a large breath and letting it out firmly to get that emotion under control. I interlock my fingers in Glocia's fingers instead, and hold on tightly, focusing on the peril we're in.

"Ah..., squad leader. ...We were just interrogating them to see if they're dissidents."

The squad leader stops. "Morons. These are children, not hardened criminals. Where did you leave your eyes today? Go back and re-read the list of descriptions when you get off duty." Oh, yeah. I like him. He turns to us. I keep my eyes on his chest... no his feet. That's safer. I can feel Izark's quizzical confusion. I'll answer it later.

"My apologies. They are worthless idiots." He bows slightly and leaves as if he was just the hall monitor breaking up the bullies again. Poor guy.

"Poor Lori," someone in the crowd agrees with me.

"They just like to bully people and have their way with women." Another tries to comfort us. That's pretty good that there are people in this town willing to even talk to us after we've been accosted. Lori must be a good hall monitor, protective of the people enough they don't mind talking about the bullies behind their backs.

"The one, he's the son of a powerful political person, so he can't be crossed, but he's under Lori so has to do what he says." Ah, that's depressing. Lori has his hands full then keeping the CEO's son in check. The people pause and look at each other, then nervously say, "Ah, good luck with the permit," and walk off.

"Hmm," I look at Glocia.

"That was strange, there at the end," she says back.

I nod. "I hope it's not another son we're going to have to fight to get the permit...," I say. We might have just made life harder for ourselves, even if we didn't get taken to the station.

Izark walks us protectively back to Alef and Doros, then heads to find Niana himself. That's safer. I watch him duck into an alley, then a few seconds later he's up on the roofs of the houses. That's even safer ...if no one sees him.

I sigh and turn to Alef and Glocia who are calling me to head for the office to get the permit. It doesn't seem to be hard to get the permit and we're back at the wagon shortly after Izark gets back there with Niana.

I shiver. I never understood just what Noriko meant by "hands busy" until now. I thought I had, but now she's shown me what feeling goes with it, and just how strong it is. We all repress emotions all the time. She has to repress this one when we're traveling, and it builds up, like my fatigue does. When we were working in the fields she was already keeping her hands busy. 

She's able to repress it due to lots of practice traveling with me now, I guess. I didn't feel it before today. She and Glocia were looking for Niana in the market at Stenny. Niana is so flighty she just follows the whims of her head. That includes not considering she's getting everyone else into trouble. Noriko called to me, using the fear to do it not just the words. I headed for the pull of where she was and got worried myself. We got to practice not having our joint fear send us both off, but it wasn't perfect.

They were surrounded by a squad of city guards. I could see that arrangement from the roof I had gone up on to find them. I went to ground before the guards saw me. I didn't need them knowing I'd come by that way. Noriko's relief helped, as did the fact she went from fear to just worry.

It was then my fear that was problematic. It pushed me a little too far over my sensibilities when she was grabbed by one of the goons. I pushed him in reaction -- to flying about six feet away. I was able to pull back, but not before he'd already gotten moving.

All three of us thought we were done for at that one, although we kept talking as calmly as we could. We were rescued by a captain of the city guard, who scolded the squad and sent them on their way, and then who went on his way as well after apologizing.

It was all rather how it should have been, I suppose, but there was one issue to come out of it. As soon as Noriko saw Lori, there was a surge of feelings that I'd never felt before and I'd frozen to stare at Noriko. Her expression said, Later. She'd known it had happened and was regretting it.

Alef gets us three rooms at the inn he's chosen, one for Izark and I, one for him and Doros, and one for Niana and Glocia. As soon as we're in our room, Izark points to the bed. I hop up and kneel on it. He sits down in a chair, looking at me. "What was that?"

When we reached our room in the inn, I pointed to the bed and folded my arms at her. That one needed to be explained immediately. I was already picking out the various emotions from the tangled ball that had come at me, and I needed to know why she'd felt physical attraction and several others and what the ones I didn't understand were.

I sigh. He's going to be direct so I can't escape. "Sorry." I look down at my fingers, which are intertwining. "It's rather difficult and embarrassing to have emotions that leak out. Women are emotional all the time anyway, even me for all I'm a [nerd] and prefer to be in my head." 

When I saw her fingers interlacing themselves, as if they would tie themselves into knots, it completely matched the emotions leaking from her again, now that she was thinking about them again instead of repressing them. I could only stare at them as if they were moravia snakes.

I hesitate, then point to the bed in front of me. I can tell he's already feeling it again. "Come sit here, your back to me. Just feel, then you'll understand better, maybe." I open up my heart to what I feel when I see him and his gorgeousness and he stops, stunned for just a moment. I motion to get him moving again.

She'd then pointed to the bed in front of her and told me to sit there and she would show me instead of tell me. I could understand that with a mix of emotions, showing before telling might be important. As I took the first step, she opened up a different emotion door and I was struck as if with a blow. It was how she sees me, or rather what she feels when she allows herself to really look at me.

When she says to me that I am beautiful, she means it from the depth of her core. In her eyes.... Well, let's just say that's a rather overwhelming emotion as well and I get it. I'm also flattered and that's as far as it needs to go ...for now. I'll have to get to where it's not overwhelming like all the rest of her that's overwhelming to me.

He carefully sits down in front of me on the edge of the bed. I shift up and take his hair in my hand, just letting the emotions flow, although I try to keep them like a small stream and not a river. I wish I had a brush, but finger combing is just as pleasurable -- just painful for the one getting the combing.

Anyway, so I sat on the bed with my back to her and she reached up and began finger combing my hair. (I can't stop shivering at the memory of what she's closed back down. Thank goodness she can close that door tightly.) It was the same desire I have to run my fingers through her hair, actually. But it includes the wiggly snakes with it -- brr. Combing out my hair was merely pleasurable.

At first I'm pretty self-conscious about it, but eventually I fall into my trance. When I finally wake up, I realize that because I was feeding it to him, and he was the one getting his hair played with, it was accentuated more than normal. He's untrancing as well. He shakes his head to finish waking up.

Then, when the snarls were out, the tickly feeling was back and she was taking up lengths of my hair and braiding them. I think she might not have even known it was little ones, and medium ones, in all different places on my head. And then combing them back out only to start again.

Ah, I'm going to make her feel it all over again if I can't control the memory of it myself. I'm rather wishing she hadn't shown me. There are things we shouldn't know to that depth, I'm quite sure now.

"When I see long hair on men, and even more so curly hair," the thrill goes through us again, although she cuts it off quickly, "...well, that. It's even worse when it's people like you that are beautiful to my eyes." Her fingers are still trying to braid my hair in knots even though they aren't touching me any more. I stare at them, wanting them to stop moving. I'm getting quite terrified and it's hard to keep it contained. They're worse than Keimos, those fingers.

"I was hoping to get at least a ball of yarn and a set of knitting needles today for the trip. My hands have been too still for too long. I'll be braiding your hair -- and Alef's -- on the trip otherwise. Knitting lets me feel the yarn, and put it into pleasing and useful shapes." I take a breath, then imagine simple knitting, my hands twitching along with the imagined motions. It's a calmer feeling than playing with hair, but he gets it.

Noriko takes a breath, then thinks of something that makes her fingers twist and turn in ways I've seen old granny's fingers move to knit yarn into useable items. The feeling is a lot calmer than what she just did, without the physical interest involved, which is a lot better in my opinion. I understand now why she was so excited in the thread and yarn shop, and had to feel all of them.

"But, we need a sword for you and a knife for me more."

Oh, no! I shake my head violently. My eyes are still as wide as they can go. "We'll get them," I promise me, very glad I was always behind her on the horses while hiding from people. "No braids. Only women wear braids."

"I figured, but I couldn't let you leave without doing it once. Thanks for wearing it as long as you did." I look up at him soberly.

At least she understands. It was a gift she was taking for herself, for not touching my hair for so long, and not knowing if or when I would come back to let her. 

I back off to get a little better breathing distance, sitting down in the chair on the other side of the side table from the bed. This is going to be a problem, and not just her "hands busy" part. It isn't unreasonable that she's going to feel attraction to things and people she's attracted to ...and it's very likely to go the other direction. I can't help but get warm at the thought.

We're going to have to learn to keep many doors closed we aren't used to keeping closed. I love her, but the attraction I have to women isn't as strong for her as for another kind of woman. The heat rises even higher at that thought. I don't think she would find my own tastes complimentary, and perhaps not even acceptable. I can't look at her for a bit while I get that under control.

"Yeah. It's going to go both ways," I say dryly. "I'll try to not get too jealous, if you do the same for me. I expect we'll get it figured out eventually, how to control which emotions go through and which don't and how much of them. Just, it's going to be hard here at the beginning. We don't hear each other's thoughts all the time, after all. I think it's just the extreme emotions, the ones that pop up over the normal level.

"I can feel you all the time as if you're always holding me, but the emotions are different. I can feel the lower level ones are there below the surface of that warmth, but they don't ‘speak' to me. I haven't tried to go fishing, and I don't want to.

"But when they leap out and scream ‘look at me!' I don't have much choice, and you don't either -- at least right now. You're better at controlling them than I am, but I'm better at recognizing whose they are. ...But then, I've had practice. Your face doesn't show much to the world. I've had to read them in your eyes for a long time now."

I send her the soft love I have for her.

I'm suddenly feeling his love for me. It's a little like having water suddenly flowing at you that is unexpected, so I gasp just a little, but it's warm. I know he's purposely sent it, too.

"Too much?" I ask, worried, since I wanted to know if intent was sufficient enough, or if they do really all have to jump out of their rooms.

I shake my head. "Just right, actually. Like I said, your control is better. Like I want to lecture in detail, I want to give it all to you all at once so you really understand and know it all. I'll keep working on that. I already know that overwhelming isn't good ...even though I just did it." I deflate, frustrated with myself. "Sorry."

I smile at her, to reassure her, but I'm having a problem. Like she had troubles not letting her surety in my goodness continue to rise as she was with me until she learned to hold a reasonable constant level, my love has been rising slowly all on its own and I'm having troubles pulling it back. Even if it was only a brief intent, it has slipped out through its door and is curious what I let it out for.

I wonder why emotions continue to build after we acknowledge them? They seem to build for as long as we pay attention to them, or if we allow them to become stronger. Is that part of the lesson? If I ignore my fear, will it diminish? I'm not sure. I'll have to work on that. It would mean closing the door isn't the same as ignoring them. 

Problematically, because love was what I started with, and it built up on its own, it's woken hers up and now we're struggling against it. It's a hard one for us both to fight, even still. It's not like we want to stop loving each other.

We're saved by a knock at the door. "Sorry to bother you, but we need to talk about the permit." Alef and Glocia point to the map of the bazaar. The "booth" space the city officials assigned to us could barely be considered in the bazaar at all. Everyone looks up at me, and Alef says the words I don't want to hear. "You'll bring them in, right?"

"Sorry to bother you, but we need to talk about the permit." I think they sound like rather scary words. It isn't all that bad, though. They've just put us so far out of the normal path of the market it isn't hardly in the market at all. No casual sales there. Alef and I both look up at Izark, and Alef says the (potentially) fateful words, "You'll bring them in, right?"

Noriko and I both sigh and this time we feel each other's fear. Noriko tamps it, trying to help me. She has the practice I'm still learning. She had to learn to walk through the fear from the time she came here and that is her courage, that she can push the fear down and move forward regardless.  I don't want to be remembered here. I don't want to put Noriko and the world in jeopardy if we're discovered. But we need the coin to keep walking forward. 

"Izark, we've just started on this path. The force of good wants something from us. If you keep it simple, and do just what needs to be done we'll be used for good again. I know that time was frightening for us, but we were given the rainbow just before it, and because of it we were placed to help these very people."

I might be able to say more, but that much has helped anchor my emotions and I'm now hauling on his, holding the rope firmly in my hands. I need to focus on that so he can finish pulling himself out of the depths and back onto dry land. I take a breath. It helps, that imagery, actually.

I plant my feet and become the dock on the shore, sure of my statement and it's truth, but allowing him to find his own balance, moor his own boat. After a moment more, I feel him reach his own consensus and the emotions return to normal for both of us.

Noriko's emotions have been anchored by those words of faith she has in that which is good. This time, instead of wrapping them around me, or sending them at me, she merely keeps them around and within her where I can see them, but not drown in them. I'm pleased she's learned to do that already. I'm able to take what strength I need from her, and know that if I choose to do this she won't fault me for doing it.

"Thank you, Noriko." I say with gratitude and she slowly lets go of her firm conviction and we return to our own internal balances. "Alright, Roki. I'll do it. They saw me anyway today on the roofs when I was looking for Mrs. Niana. Small-town people notice everything it seems. Do you have anything I can wear, or should we go pick something up?" Alef frowns slightly.

"Yeay, a shopping trip and Roki's buying!" I call out.

"Ah, hey, wait!" Alef protests.

I've already grabbed Glocia's hand and am dragging her to the door. "I haven't shopped with a girlfriend in ages," I say to her, then give a wicked grin to Alef. Alef is staring at me in shock and disbelief, then he wilts.

I already knew that Alef would lose to Noriko quickly if they ever negotiated. He decides to make it my fault and glares at me accusingly. I give him an innocent look and shrug, then move to follow the girls, taking Alef's upper arm almost casually on the way. "We can't let them go alone. Last time I barely got to them before the corrupt officials did."

Alef sighs. "Yeah, you're right. The Bonya clan is too powerful in this city, and there's more riff-raff than last year when we went through."

Glocia turns back. "Mother, you will stay here with Barago, do you hear me?! If you aren't here when I get back, I'm going to leave you behind rotting in jail, or wherever you end up."

Niana wilts into herself. "Yes, dear. I'll go take a nap." She must have had a stern scolding from her daughter when they went to their room earlier after I fetched Niana from the market. I found her resting on a bench next to an older man. They were pleasantly talking, but when Niana tripped on her feet to greet me, he had very fast reflexes for his age. It made me wonder.

Glocia glares at Niana, then at Doros. "Make sure she gets to her room. Even that far and she'll be lost." Doros stares at her, then finally nods. It's right next door. Noriko giggles into her hand lightly and pulls on Glocia again, practically skipping out the door. I firmly make sure Alef is coming along. I'm not paying for their shopping trip and my costume to do his work in.

I wanted a mask, but was outvoted. The girls as a duo are very formidable and Noriko has secret weapons only she and I know about ...and she's not above using them. Their point that most shoppers are women, and women are drawn in like butterflies to sweet flowers when the performer is beautiful was agreed to readily by Alef.

He wanted his own sort of revenge so sweetly gave up on it being a martial arts performance of the strength kind in favor of the acrobatic kind when they pressed us both in that area (for the same reason -- more women shoppers, etc.). He then had to open his own mouth and point out that men find those kinds of feats just as amazing, so we still wouldn't lack male shoppers.

Just as they are all excellent negotiators in words, they are also in coin. They haggled three-against-one poor shopkeeper until they were able to purchase a costume for me that is sufficient, isn't going to trip me so I die (figuratively), "accentuates my good looks" (I had to roll my eyes that even Glocia would join that caravan -- it's been a bane of mine on more than one occasion), and only cost a minimal amount.

If it tears as I rip it off when we're done, I won't care. Or maybe I'll burn it off. I'll likely have that much nervous energy left over once we're done. It will disappear in a single flash and then we'll see if Noriko is happy to go in with them so readily.

Ah, she's felt that. Her apology is sent my way. I sigh and forgive her. Such troubles resolve quickly when we can feel each other's emotions, and care enough to repent and forgive. We rather have to, since even without the strange connections I can't let her go and she refuses to leave. By intent, I put out the emotional request into the world that whatever good wants me to do this is going to see we're kept safe from the evil that wants us. I'm experimenting again, but I'm serious.

I'm standing on the top point of the face of the building I'm on at the edge of the bazaar. I've picked a building near enough to our stand to get there fairly quickly. I've already drawn a lot of eyes. When I've got about as many as I can stand, I leap off of the roof peak and perform a straight-legged somersault in the air to land on one foot on a lamp post below me. The other foot I bring up in front of me to cross in front of the leg I'm standing on, and fold my arms. Sigh, and I smile. 

"A smile brings more people in than anything else, Kizak!" Glocia had scolded me just as fiercely as she likely scolded her mother. Alef had nodded knowingly behind her. Noriko had only looked at me with sober eyes. She agreed, but she knew how hard that was going to be for me. It only works because I know it's false and will bring in coin. I can do just about anything to earn coin by now. I've starved and supported myself for so long I know what it is to accept that kind of humility. That doesn't mean I like to do it.

I put the foot in front of me out straight before me and lean back as far as I can. The crowd gasps in appreciation. Then I'm flipping backwards off the lamp post to land on my feet on the ground. I try for flashy, eye catching, and amazing (all the things I was ordered to give them), and make my audience follow me towards the booth where the others are waiting for me and the customers.

Alef throws two ladles to me. I spin them in the air and catch one behind my back, one in front, as I played with the bats during Nada's tournament. I can do that sort of thing easily, and I'm grateful for the props. Alef begins the sales pitch and I toss him the ladles back and head for another prop I'm used to. I open the bolt of fabric gracefully in front of the girls, including them in the embarrassment of this sort of sale, since they deserve it, too, and Alef rolls with it quite happy to have pretty girls sell his products as well.

By the time we're done, I'm quite exhausted. Alef catches the enamored crowd outside our inn so Noriko and I can rest. She got a little too jealous a few times, although she tried to tamp it down. I took to sending her my exhaustion and distaste for the job. That tamped her jealousy down fast every time, and she sent the compassion I needed instead so I could keep going. Alef and the others praised me, and I'm glad they were able to sell just about everything, but I hope I never have to do that again. It's definitely not my preferred use of my skills.

As we leave the dining room of the inn, the manager stops us and tells us we have to leave. When Alef asks why, we're told it's because we've made too much of a ruckus that day. It smells of a lie, but he insists until we're out on the street with our bags in hand. He was willing to return the coin Alef paid him.

It almost seems as if it's orchestrated by someone of the Bonya clan. Alef runs up from checking the other inns in the area and confirms it. No inn will take us in. They wanted us to pay, and we bested them, so they're trying again.

rattle rattle, clatter clatter. It's almost ominous in the still of the darkening street of Stenny where we've been tossed out by the owner of the inn. The day had gone well. Izark had been a sight to see, performing acrobatic tricks with ease that even in my world would have been miraculous feats, particularly the initial drop from the top of a building to stand on one foot on top of a lamp post. That one nearly did me in. 

He and Alef make a good pair. Izark performs and looks beautiful, Alef speaks and sells stuff. We sold out in one day, except for a very few things that Alef has decided to consider a write-off. The fans were a bit difficult to deal with after the fact, and I'm afraid I got a bit too jealous of the fan-girls. Izark was kind (and probably didn't want to deal with the feelings of jealousy that kept coming down the line to him, although I did try to suppress them) and came into the inn while Alef continued to act as his general manager outside the inn.

Noriko points out that no one is in the streets at all, then she and Glocia are seeing shadows of evil. As Glocia clutches at Noriko in fear and Noriko tries to combat her fear so she doesn't set us off, I can also feel a rising darkness, now that I've been trying to learn it. It swirls around an escorted carriage that's coming our way.

I wouldn't care about being thrown out of the inn except this city is evil at night. Glocia and I have both already seen ghostly skeletons, evil spirits, and we've all heard the maniacal laughter of people gone mad. Izark and Alef both said they heard screams outside the inn the night before. It really isn't safe. Then Glocia and I both feel a denser evil headed our way. It swirls around an escorted carriage that is coming our way. We cower back from it, then even more as one of the guards turns and stares at us, slowing down to look us over carefully. He is so full of malevolence and evil, my heart nearly stops. 

The girls cower back from it, then hide behind me as one of the guards turns and stares at us, slowing down to look us over carefully. His power swirls around him, as if he doesn't care if others can tell that he's both powerful and evil. He smells of death and his partner on the other side of the carriage smells of blood and more animal-like than human. 

I'm squeezing Izark's jacket as hard as Glocia is squeezing my arm and Izark is doing his best to calm me down so he doesn't react to my fear.

There isn't anything I can nor should do in this situation other than to let them pass by. The guard inspecting us gets yelled at by the person leading the group and finally moves on.

"It's windows were painted over and the door padlocked on the outside, did you see it Geena?" Glocia asks me. I shake my head. My vision was only for the people.

I saw that it was a prison carriage from the beginning. "That's the carriage they reserve to transport people to the tower of the tainted -- high government people who've been sentenced to death." We turn and stare at the person who's said it. We don't recognize him. 

"This is a bad time of night to be out." Another stranger is also with us. Both are young boys, one a teen, one maybe twelve. Wings flap by and they cry out and cower in terror. "Please, come with us. We have to get off the streets!" They begin to chivy us down the street.

"Ah, wait," Alef interrupts. "Who are you?"

The younger one, who spoke first, answers, "Our master sent us to fetch you. He enjoyed your performance this afternoon and he wants you to come stay at his house since you don't have anywhere else to stay. Please come quickly. It isn't safe."

Well, there isn't anything for it but to go with them. The day is full of sudden strange turns of events: they take us to the minor palace of the city and leave us in the large entry to bring their master to us. Alef and I exchange confused and worried glances. We thought the Bonya had us thrown out to punish us. Why would they bring us straight to them, and not under guard?

It's my first time to be in opulence in this world, other than Tazasheena's place and that was different than a home. "Ch-chimos!" I turn. Doros is looking into a large cage hung on a pole. I go over to look. There are a pair of them and they are looking either very frightened or very evil, I'm not sure which. "They are not being well cared for," Doros says sadly. "See mine?" He pulls one out to show me the difference, although I can already tell.

The chimos in the cage don't particularly like humans and are upset we're in their space. I hear the sound of soft cloth and turn to see a young man in opulent robes with a snobbish face catch sight of Doros and his chimos. As he rushes us, I'm already moving to intercept. We don't need more trouble on top of what we might already be in. "Thief! What are you doing with my chimo?"

I grab the man by his upper arms and turn him towards the cage so he can very obviously see the two still in it. "I believe yours are still where they belong." He looks between his and Doros' chimos, then changes his mind, so I let him go. I'm not sure I want to ever touch him again. He's as slimy as Nada.

Straightening up, he clears his throat. "I am Arkarella son Dororev, the master of this residence." So prideful. I can feel Noriko's complete distaste. 

No apology, really? Not a good first impression. We stare at him for a minute.

"And I'm Salier, his younger brother." Our heads swing around. Leaning in the doorway of one of the entrances to the hall is the man who wanted to take the girls into ‘custody'. Noriko groans softly and Glocia reacts just as bad.

Well, that's better than, "get in my bed".

I'm getting depressed, at least to resignation. This actually happens a lot when I walk into a new town looking for work. Somehow I end up with the one who wants to hire me in the same house, or at least close to it, as the one who wants to cut my heart out. "Hello," he says, "I was hoping you wouldn't come. I was against this from the beginning, brother. I still say --"

"Salier! This will be good for you, too." Arkarella is waving his hand at his younger brother as if shooing off a pet. He turns to me with a sly smirk and my heart falls further. "You are quite attractive, my friend. I saw your performance in the plaza today and was impressed. Looks and talent in one package are hard to find. In return for my hospitality, I want you to do me a favor. I want you to perform for Mister Hydran tomorrow. He will very much enjoy your performance." He giggles.

I'm completely grossed out and want to bare my teeth at him to protect Izark from ever coming into contact with him. I'd have to bathe Izark with three week's worth of soap and water. Salier curses and storms out, apparently unable to counter his older brother.

Noriko's complete disinterest in such a thing, and her anger, comes across to join with my disinterest. Even without the emotional link I can feel her hackles have raised and she'd be growling at Arkarella if this wasn't supposed to be polite company. I appreciate the protection and sentiment. But, as I said, I get this a lot.

I'm going to have to swallow down the embarrassment and unpleasant emotions and play the acrobat one more time. I'm thinking I won't be paid in coin, though. Instead I'm going to be paid in humiliation or we'll all be jailed. Salier curses and storms out, not understanding that he's already going to get his ultimate wish.

"Ah, hey, Kizak," Alef says quietly, stepping up close to me so I hear his whisper.

"Yeah, I know," I answer. "Not much choice."

He's very kind to the rest of us to say that. I can tell he's as creeped out as I am.

Noriko kindly sends a little gratitude along our connection.

We're shown to rooms, then invited down to dinner. Arkarella is spending his family's money. There are plush chairs and couches and expensive tables and decorations in this palace. I wonder if his father knows. Likely his father doesn't care.

I'm amazed. There are real chairs and couches and everything in this place. I almost feel like I'm back on Earth with how many modern conveniences he has. I'm glad I took that little class on formal eating behaviors, too. The table is set up formally with lots of plates and silverware. 

I'm reminded of the other noble tables I've sat at -- an unusual activity for most wandering warriors, but not for one that's "beautiful" enough to catch noble daughter's eyes. I'm just as uncomfortable at this table as all the others. Arkarella has seated us men on one side, women on the other, and I have to sit next to him as if I were the substitute boyfriend ...I mean honored guest.

Noriko takes the seat across from me, determined to not be separated from me more than she has to be, and to make the firm, if silent, statement that we belong together. Alef takes the seat next to mine since he has the better noble speaking skills and Glocia, staying close to Noriko unconsciously, sits next to her. Doros and Niana are at the end.

I wish Niana could explain that by rights she should be in my spot. I'd trade it willingly. Because she's easygoing to begin with, she takes it without complaint or comment. Really, she does understand we might be in trouble. The glance she gives the rest of us is worried, as if she hopes we can handle being at this table without tripping all over ourselves. I hope the same.

Arkarella begins with a tirade about the worthlessness of chimos. I'm relieved he doesn't understand what he has. Doros wants to refute him, since he thought he had the only two left (plus babies now), but Alef silences him for now, shaking his head at Doros. Wise, in my opinion.

Arkarella moves on to buttering me up, offering to introduce me to people in high places of government. I refuse, completely disinterested, but Alef interrupts by kicking me in the ankle hard enough to make me freeze in pain. It takes everything I have to not cry out or chop him in the neck. That was quite unnecessary.

"Sorry, small talk is not one of my friend's talents. He'd love to meet your friends, and nothing would make him happier than to entertain your guest. Ah, ...I understand he is escorting a prisoner. May I ask who it is?"

I blink. Alef is very smooth. I decide he's had a lot of practice as a commander of the royal guard -- in political speak and in interrogation. Although maybe it's just his ability to be a natural salesman. He was like this at the booth earlier today, too, and with the fans.

While I think Alef is going to pay for that later, I'm just as happy to let him take over the talking. That's when I decide he's such a good merchant because his specialty as commander of the guards was in interrogation. He can dish out torture and get this noble to speak up all without blinking an eye.

Arkarella sits back and takes an appreciative drink of his fine wine. I glance at Noriko. She's looking at her own glass, worried. I suspect she'd like to ask for water but doesn't know how to interrupt at tables like this to do that. I send her a little encouragement, although I don't know if it got through. I'm bottling up everything as best I can. She doesn't need my emotions distracting her, and I don't either.

"Ah, yes." Arkarella looks smug. "The former Chief Cabinet Secretary -- a stuck-up scholar if you ask me. Even eccentrics shouldn't cross the Bonya."

He sets down his glass and picks up his knife and fork to cut another piece of his meat. "It has to do with the prophecy. You know, the Sky Demon and the Awakening." Noriko and I freeze in place while he chews his bite of food. "He claims that the prophecy is misinterpreted. He believes the Sky Demon is not evil, but can be harnessed as an agent of good."

He laughs his awful giggle. "Can you imagine it? The Sky Demon is a monster -- a demon! Not some imagined hero." He giggles again and works on another bite of his dinner.

Misinterpreted? He believes the Sky Demon can be an agent of good? My eyes go wide and Noriko's eyes meet mine, as amazed as I am that someone we've never heard of believes those things. It's a fanciful dream, that another such person should exist. One who has lived here with the same lore I've grown up with, but who has decided it's wrong. I want to hear what he has to say. What evidence does he have for that belief? Or is he just a madman, as Arkarella believes?

Izark and I are stunned. I look up into his eyes and he's staring at me. There is someone here who believes as I do: that Izark is not here to be or do evil, but can be here to do and be good. For Izark to hear that someone believes it other than me, someone who doesn't even know him, it's a dream come true.

I can feel him trembling with overflowing emotions. I anchor myself and let him, ecstatic we might have just been handed one of the reasons we're on this new journey. ...And we'll get to save one more good person, if we can figure out how.

Noriko stays steady, like she did before, and allows me to let the emotions toss me about until I'm able to recover. Her belief that we might have just been handed one of the reasons we're on this new journey is what she holds on to this time until I'm able to agree that it would be along the lines of the paths we've been walking. I start working on figuring out how to get to the prison to talk to the condemned man before his carriage moves on again, without ending up in the cell next to him.

Back up in our rooms, which are a suite so we're all sitting together for the moment, Glocia's passionate about saving the condemned man. Alef calms her and agrees with Niana that he shouldn't be left to die. "Mister Clairgeeta's death will deal a crippling blow to those who oppose the corrupt government," Alef says, "but I'm not sure what we can do." He looks at me. Alef knows from the news, gossip, and rumors that this man is one of the good government leaders who's likely being framed to remove him from office by those who are greedy or evil.

I lean forward, rethinking my plan. It might be a better idea to win his freedom than to just go talk to him. I shouldn't show my face to the guards early, then. A stranger isn't remembered as well as a face seen a second time. "Tomorrow's guest is the commander of the convoy, right? We may be able to learn more from him."

Alef grins. "Hoh? So you're willing to help, then? That's a relief. I thought I'd have to talk you into it." Noriko is so excited I put my hand on her knee to let her know it's leaking through too much, particularly since we're sitting next to each other. She tries to calm down.

I hear a little scrabble outside the large double-pane window and can sense a person trying to hide their presence. We don't need any witnesses to us being seditious and we need more information. Moving quickly before that person can move, I leap up and run for the window. I pull both windows open at the same time, then jump out to give chase.

Alef looks out the window. "What? Was someone there?" I switch to watching Izark, staying calmly in my chair.

"You're very calm about this, Geena."

I smile at Glocia while still maintaining the connection. "He's very fast and strong, Hanna. He'll be back soon." She gives me a funny look but lets it be.

The man is very fast for all I've surprised him. He jumps down into the yard and is running with the long fast leaps I can run. That's even more reason to catch him. If there's someone with special powers here, or even just the top skills of a fine martial artist, then I can't let them get away. 

I chase after him, even leaping to the top of the high wall around the land of the palace, then to the next roof over and beyond. Really his skills match mine, but he's not as fast. I grab him around the chest to hold him still and lock his arms down, but what I saw as I was finally close enough to see features has me confused. The face says this is a woman, even the quiet shriek as I surprised him/her did, but the body I hold says man.

"Wait! I'm not your enemy, okay? I'm not resisting, see? I want what you want!" That's enough for me to not let go. She's in a panic -- a real one, not a faked one. Did she see what I did earlier and recognize the extent of my skills because she has them also, and knows I'm the better of the two of us? I'm not interested in killing her if I don't have to regardless. I just want information.

Another slower step sounds at the other end of the roof top and a voice I recognize says, "Wei, no! Wei --"

Our eyes meet. "You!" That the old man who was talking to Niana in the bazaar could have made it up to the top of a roof is a great surprise. I saw from that one act of catching her that he was fast, but to make it up here means he's also nimble and has great skills in martial arts as well. I go wary. Who are these two and why are they interested in us?

The old man looks between the person I'm holding and me, a puzzled look on his face. Finally he says, "Are you here to rescue that poor man, too?" At that I'm so surprised I relax my hold on my captive, but she doesn't move, other than to relax slightly herself, letting me know I haven't been lied to.

"I'm sorry we used you and your show to get you into the palace," the old man says. "Mister Hydran is a hedonist, like Arkarella. Arkarella's father is placed high enough in the government that Mister Hydran is likely to accept Arkarella's invitation to come and watch you perform for them. We -- Wei, Katarina, and myself, Danjel -- are from the Grey Bird tribe. We've been hired to free Secretary Clairgeeta by the enemies of the Bonya clan."

I let Wei go slowly, so she can know I'm not going to harm her, and let her move closer to Danjel. We're on the same side, and they already have a plan in place. I'm glad they did send her to spy on us. We might have caused problems if we hadn't met and talked.

"The brothers who guard the secretary are named Sido and Uda Brunei. We've heard unpleasant things about them, that they are more than human, and that they kill in ways most brutal and frightening. We've been looking for a way to rescue Secretary Clairgeeta without confronting them. In order for our plan to succeed, we need the caravan to stay in town one extra day. That's why we need your show."

When Izark returns, through the window again, he tells us that three former Grey Birds, who've been hired by the enemies of the Bonya, are in town to free the prisoner, Mister Clairgeeta. Their inside person convinced Arkarella to invite us to come. They wanted Izark's performance as a distraction for Mister Hydran so they could free Mister Glairgeeta without getting the two evil guards we saw involved. That sounds like a good plan to me. I wouldn't want to cross them either. 

There's a knock at the door and a maid comes in. She looks like a doll, and I want to put my hands in her curly hair. Really, I'm going to have to get a sheep I can pet whenever I want, and harvest wool from for yarn. "I'm Katarina. I'm with Wei and Danjel. Thank you for being willing to help us tomorrow." We're just as glad, now that we know we can help a plan that's already in place.

There's noise in the hall and we fall silent. Salier bursts into the room. "Don't think I don't know you're plotting evil things in here!" He looks around, then seems unhappy to see Katarina. I wonder if he'd hoped to still be able to claim a wrong and get us beds in prison tonight, but can't since there's a witness. "What are you doing here, Katarina!?"

"We were just discussing tomorrow's show," Alef says smoothly.

"I was just excited they came and wanted to know more," Katarina says innocently.

"Hmph. You try my patience maid!" Salier is unhappy. He grabs for her and Izark intercepts to grab Salier's wrist. Salier's anger gets turned on Izark and his other fist heads for a punch at Izark's head. Izark intercepts that wrist, too.

"She's only a girl. Treat her more gently," Izark scolds mildly.

"Salier!?" Arkarella calls from down the hall. "Get out of there!"

Salier scowls. "Trash like you is only meant to lick my boots. I'll teach you your lesson another time." He spits on Izark and pulls his hands out of Izark's grasp, stomping out of the room.

I'm quick to wipe off Izark's face. That was just too much, even if we did have to not get ourselves into any trouble for the sake of tomorrow's plan. Jerk. Izark sends soothing love down the line to me in answer to my righteous anger, and his eyes say his thanks.

"Are you okay?" Niana asks Katarina. "He was terrible."

Katarina smiles at her. "Yes, thanks to Kizak. I'll avoid him until after tomorrow, then it won't matter." Niana looks dubious. Katarina strikes a cutesy-pie pose. "If I have to, I'll beat him into a pancake, fold him like linens, and toss him in the closet, though of course ...I'm just a girl." She tips her head in a very blond way.

I grin. "You go, girl." She looks at me startled, then grins back. Although she doesn't understand my meaning, she gets my look. It's a shared understanding between girls who are warriors at heart; although, I've probably only learned it in this last year, truth be told, now that I have something worth fighting for. (The song from Disney's Mulan goes running through my head, feeling very appropriate to the situation.)

Chapter Text

I am unsteady. The more the light brightens before me the more I want to flee into the darkness behind me that I understand. I don't understand myself. For all of my life I've wanted to not be there, in that darkness, begged for anyone to give me the hope that I didn't have to live it out as my destiny. Yet, now that I have that someone in my life, and I'm walking that path towards hope and light, I cower away from it.

In learning there's someone else who's been put in my path who can push me even farther on that path, I'm both excited and at the same time almost terrified. I'm being pushed into deeper waters, and it wasn't even Noriko this time.

My heart wants to say it's a proof that there is a Source of All Good, or a demon of light that opposes the demon of darkness. That whatever it is that Noriko has said is sentient but is a force of good does exist and it's placed us here on this path in order to save the Secretary so that I can learn the next thing I need to learn.

I cower from it, want to say I'm not ready yet. I've barely managed to think about what Noriko said the last time I was pushed into deep waters. When I think that thought, I'm saddened by the corollary: that if I must be pushed to move faster than I wish, then our vacation of healing has made us late and we have catching up to do if we're going to be ready for the final confrontation.

Noriko is too excited for me. She wants for me to be able to agree with her sooner, to be able to not be afraid of myself or my future, and to see it as clearly as she does. It's hard to have to feel that when I don't want to be pushed. At the same time, to hear how that excitement comes out in her words is rather funny. She talks even faster and with great excitement.

A few times I almost have to stop her from saying things she really shouldn't say, but she catches herself quickly and moves on so fast the others don't really catch on. I suppose that's enough distraction while we men plan the details of what we'll do here in the palace to keep Lord Hydran and his guards distracted.

The men work out a plan for the next day while we girls talk. I'm feeling chatty because I'm excited. That isn't always a good thing and by the time we're headed to bed, I'm hoping I didn't say anything out of line or embarrassing. Izark is laughing his silent laugh at me. I huff at him in mock irritation. "You're just as excited as I am," I point out.

I grab her and pin her to the bed with one hand. "I think I'll have to hold you here until you pass out, or you won't sleep." Noriko wiggles and squirms, but I don't let her go. I'm paying attention, but I'm irritated enough to firmly refuse. I need to distract the both of us, or neither of us will be able to sleep.

I wiggle and squirm, but can't get out from under his hand. Izark really can be strong when he wants to be. Then I freeze, staring up at him. His eyes are still teasing, but they're changing.

We learned quite by accident, as I was practicing increasing my strength to control the various levels of power I hold within me, that I have a formidable weapon against her. It's my favorite and I've been working very hard to be able to learn this combination. This is a good night to use it, to show her what I've learned. I'm needing the reward for twice having to do a thing I find abhorrent.

I feel Noriko's heart rate increasing under the hand I've pinned her down with. For the first time, I know it's not fear. This time she lets me feel what she feels. It's rapt anticipation. I smile a wicked, rewarded smile -- just enough so she can see my elongated canines -- so I can feel what she feels when she sees them. They frighten most people. Not Noriko. A thrill goes through her and her breath quickens just ever so slightly, as if she's begging me to show her more. 

I move to kneel on the bed next to her to be more comfortable, although I keep her pinned down. I don't want her moving. I want to see these reactions as I feel them. "That really is very interesting, Noriko," I say.

I don't say anything. I'm still waiting. I think my heart begs because he blinks, then slowly, his hair begins to turn blue. I'm surprised. His hand didn't change. He smiles a little bigger and I realize he's been practicing this. Choosing which parts to change and which ones not to.

Slowly and carefully I increase my power and focus. I know my hair is changing to blue because Norikos' eyes go to watch it, surprised. I'm pleased. My hands didn't change into claws, nor has a horn grown out of my forehead. It's taken a lot of effort and time to reach the point I can change things individually that used to come together.

"Izark!" I breathe in praise and surprise, my eyes going wide. I want to immediately ask for things, but I know it would be better for me to just wait and see what he wants to show me. So I wait and watch, trying to not itch to touch. (I can't anyway. He's still holding me down.) He shakes his head at me. I guess he recognized that desire from when I showed it to him before.

Now isn't the time to touch. I'll lose my focus. When she's settled enough and her eyes have moved to look at mine, asking if I can do the final attack against her, I focus one more time and increase my power that one little step more. Her eyes are fixated on mine and I know I've caught her.

I watch his eyes and slowly, with concentration on his part, they lighten, then deepen until they are the sapphire blue that is my very favorite. I'm fixated on them, probably not breathing. When they begin to lower and get closer to me, I'm suddenly panting in small, light gasps. Izark switches to hold me down with both hands on my wrists. Somehow I must have telegraphed I was about to grab his head, not hardly able to keep from touching him any more.

When she looks into my brilliant sapphire eyes she can't move and only her deep desire for me remains. She admitted to me the first time, even though it had been so obvious, that the color of my eyes is her favorite color and it draws her as a moth to candle flame, to dance with them even if she must get burned.

We weren't ready yet to play with that fire, but I promised her that if this combination was what would please her most, then I would learn it. Her desire is rising to overwhelm, and I move to hold both of her hands down. It isn't time to act on that yet. I'm also careful to not let my blue hair touch her, as it falls towards her from my leaning over her. Even that light a touch will interfere.

"This particular combination is rather tricky, they are such small pieces of the different levels. ...It's interesting to get to feel what your reaction really is."

Noriko looks desperately from one close sapphire eye to the other. "Kiss me, and you'll really find out," she dares me boldly. "Just don't poke me when we explode." I know she's referring to the horn. She understands that because we're connected, I may lose control.

I want to taste blue, but I'm repressing the desire because I'm pretty sure if I feed him that, he'll lose his delicate balance. His hair brushes my face and I moan, beginning to lose my delicate balance already. He does turn his head so that if he loses control I don't get hurt.

Her desire is almost more than she can restrain any longer. I want to know what Noriko will do, and I want the reward. My hair brushes her face and she moans as her desire slips loose of its bonds. I turn my head so that if I lose control I won't hurt her. I'm focusing on not letting the claws out when she rises to close the final brief distance between us and our lips meet.

I can't help rising up to meet his lips with mine when he's close enough that I can't see his eyes any more. I'm in full "take me now" mode, and we explode because my system can't take that high a level of sensual overload. Blue -- is beautiful.

The woman Noriko who loves to be loved washes over me in a warm flood and we drown most pleasurably because it's more than she can hold within her. I'm washed by her desire and love for quite some time in the most enjoyable way I've ever experienced. Blue -- is a beautiful weapon. I swear I will learn how to make this come easily to me so that I can have this gift. Frequently.

I'm in a hallway of interconnected rooms so that I can't really tell if it's room after room after room, or a hallway really. Behind me and before me is empty. No one hears my call, no one comes to comfort me. What I seek is missing, and I'm as empty as these rooms. My fear rises up in me and that makes me even more afraid, but there's something pressing against that fear ...something that doesn't go with this nightmare.

I'm still excited the next morning, and up early. Once I'm dressed, I open the curtains and look out. The sunshine and the deep blue sky smile at me. I can feel Izark waking up behind me. I say as I turn, "Isn't this a beautiful day, full of sunshine and light?"

Warm sunlight pours across my face, waking me, and I realize that Noriko's excitement is high enough again this morning to push against even a dream fear and prevent it from overwhelming me.

I've already flung an arm over my face. To go from such a dark and empty dream to sudden stunning sunlight is a representation of the place I've found myself walking in and it's too much. I don't want to rise. I want to sleep longer. I don't want another nightmare. I want Noriko. I want her to tell me that everything will be okay, that even if I'm pushed faster than I can go, at the end will be a result I want, not more fear, more despair. I'm tired of the fight. Sleeping more won't help me, so I drag myself to sitting up in the bed.

The arm over his face says he isn't ready for quite so much sunshine right at that moment. I stand and watch him: the sleeping beauty in the bed. He slowly sits up, and I frown slightly. He isn't looking too good. "Izark, are you feeling okay?" I ask.

I run my hand over my face to wake up a little more and to move my hair out of it, then rest my elbow on my knee. My head is so heavy I have to rest it on my hand. I fight depression, which pushes against the light spilling into the room through the uncovered window.

He runs his hand over his face and to move his hair out of it, going into one of his fetching poses that almost always is a sign of weakness for him. I love looking at it, but I move to sit with him, worried a bit.

I reach for her and gently touch her face. She doesn't need to worry for me. "I had a dream is all," I say. I still want her to answer the fears it brought up, although I shouldn't be such a young child to have to need it. Still, she is here.

I let my hand fall and can't look at her, it's so childish to ask for this comfort. "I was looking for you and all I could see were endless connected rooms. I called for you and you weren't there." The pain in my heart leaks out at the telling. Noriko reaches up and puts her palm on my heart and works to send only a small amount of comfort to me.

I need more and reach for her and pull her to me. It's her arms I need, to heal me with her peace and comfort. "Please, Noriko. Don't disappear. Don't leave me. I need you more than ever."

He pulls me to him. This time I can feel his need for me to be his security blanket. He is unsteady. His strength is a thing that has always been based on fear, on his need to hide.

I wrap both my physical arms and my emotional ones around him, like I did in the wagon before, and hold him like I would hold a young frightened child, conveying all the peace and comfort I can, trying to match the depth of it to the depth of his need without overwhelming him.

"I won't, Izark. I'm here, and I've promised I'll always be here. Even if you can't find me, I'm still here. I will always return to you and stand by you."

It's comforting to know that her surety and love are as large as my fear and worry. It helps to know it's even bigger, but that she won't overwhelm me with it. It's already hard enough to be reminded of that. At this level, I can rest and receive the comfort I need to return to a level of peace I can continue forward from. 

"Izark, my dream was similar -- after the attack, do you remember? When the evil was coming and I was chained down and couldn't move, I also couldn't find you or feel you. But you were there when I woke."

I nod, remembering how I was initially afraid she was having the nightmare because she'd seen me change. She'd denied it, but it had still been hard to push my fears and worries of that day aside. Still, she was also here when I woke up, to shine light on that empty fear.

He nods and his fear slowly melts away again. Of course, then we're too close to each other, and his need has remained.

When I've recovered enough from the fear to set it aside again, my gratitude that she's here and in my life rises to join with my love for her. Because I still don't want to face this day, nor really to rise from my bed at all, I choose to fall back onto my bed, pulling her with me to kiss her. She's too closely linked emotionally to me and I've trapped her. 

It's interesting to me to learn that even so, her mind is still aware and works like it usually does. For all she is chaotic emotionally, she's learned her own strengths from it in how to work logically around it or with it. She sends the emotion of "practicality".

Because I'm experimenting, and choosing to be lazy, I send back the heart-cry of the child again. That makes her hesitate, giving me the opening, and I attack physically by beginning to turn my hair blue for her while at the same time I emotionally ask and tease.

I relent. It's hard not to with that temptation. I interlace my fingers into his hair and let him have his way with the rest of me, while I kiss his face, wanting to taste blue again. It's a bad weakness to have, now that he can exploit it. 

As long as I'll pay that price, she lets me do as I will. It really is a bad weakness for her to have, now that I can exploit it. It pleases me to know that there is no other being or creature on the face of this planet that can have her this way.

Experimenting one more time, at the end I give Noriko sapphire eyes. She's able to merely get lost in them without the desire overwhelming her again. It's a softer and more pleasant thing. Then I touch her, wanting to feel with my fingers the softness I can see on her face and feel inside my heart. Just that single touch is sufficient.

I enjoy spending almost an hour experimenting with what blue does to Noriko.  She's worn out after that, and I leave her with a kiss and silent laughter to recover with an early morning nap. It's turned into a good morning after all, and I'll be able to face the rest of the awful things of this day in a much better mood.

I sleep for another hour after that, completely worn out, hearing his silent laughter in the kiss he leaves on my cheek as I drift away on a sapphire sea with a blue sky overhead the color of his hair.

It's afternoon, not long after lunch. We ate our meals in the kitchen with the house staff. Arkarella entertained Mister Hydran at a formal lunch. We're waiting for Alef, Doros, and myself to be called as the final entertainment. I'm using Noriko's excitement to balance the reluctance I have to perform again. If I remember that her excitement is because our reward is we get to meet Secretary Clairgeeta, then I remember why I also want to have us win his freedom.

We're playing with the emotional bond..., well, it's playing because we're feeling happy, but all such things are learning experiences. He's practicing keeping out the full level of emotions I can't help but leak out. I hadn't thought of blocking, but it's a survival tool for him. As I said, women are full of emotions and I'm terrible at control. I'm also bouncing, making the whole thing harder for both of us.

I think I'm going to experiment with distance next. When he goes into the room, I'll go head back to our rooms and make sure everything is packed and ready to go. (It already is and Katarina has already loaded it into our wagon and the thank you note rests on the table of the main room of our suite.) If I can't stay emotionally stable enough through his performance, things might go badly, and I don't want that at all. The worst is the bouncing.

Noriko keeps bouncing between general worry which doesn't last very long, disgust that I have to perform in front of two hedonists, and the excitement of meeting Secretary Clairgeeta. I'm getting lots of practice blocking her emotions. I've started with trying to imagine or intend a shield like I use energy shields. I've rotated through the various energies I know how to use, including trying to use light energy. None of those worked well.

Using my will to press my emotions down, then using it to try and force hers down works to some small degree. When I push on hers, my "pressure" slips and slides against her emotions. It's really only her own attempts that pull her emotions back. There's one more emotion that she can't prevent slipping out every so often. It's a troublesome one.

Lori Arikowa, the constable, is a Clairgeeta sympathizer. The plan is that he'll be helping the Grey Birds get Secretary Clairgeeta out of the jail, disguised, meet up with them, and get out of town. We'll leave as soon as the performance is over and travel to a meet-up point, then all travel together until we get Secretary Clairgeeta to the place he needs to be. Those who hired the Grey Birds have a safe place to keep him hidden away.

Knowing I'll see gorgeous wavy blond hair man again keeps surfacing and Izark has to keep up with that. He's practicing that, too, very patiently as usual, although I'm terribly embarrassed, as usual. He's tried various emotional responses, but only my own realization and embarrassment (I send the feeling of "sorry" back when I realize I've slipped) have worked so far. I slip again and he moves. 

Knowing we'll see Lori again soon sets Noriko's fingers to itching every time she thinks of him. Because I've now experienced it intimately, I have my own emotions to repress at the same time as hers. Noriko's embarrassed when it slips out, and I hope she's practicing very hard with that one. I don't need to relive it. I've thought of a few drastic things to try, and when she slips again, I try the first one.

Before Noriko showed me what it was like to want to play with a man's hair, she let me glimpse how she sees me. I also have hair she wants to play with, but that isn't the only thing she feels when she thinks of me. I try giving her something different to focus on.

As she looks up at me apologetically again, I move sinuously and give her a flirtatious look. It's a thing I've seen many times as a bodyguard and swordsman for hire, but never tried to perform. I'm usually running from girls looking to walk with a beautiful man.

My eyes are caught by the motion and he gives me one of his fetching looks. I'm firmly and suddenly caught. His eyebrow raises slightly and then he gives me a teasing grin. He's figured out a solution. He plays with it.

It works far better than I thought it would, surprising me. She's firmly and suddenly caught. Who would've thought she would feel the thrill of flirting? I test a more obvious movement, flipping my hair so it flows around my shoulder to my back. She's even more mesmerized watching flowing hair and me in combination.

I have to turn away to keep the laugh inside. Her reaction is so humorous and I really can't believe I just did such a thing. I would never have done it before, except for desperation, which has made me even think to do it in the first place.

Noriko silently agrees with me that it was very humorous and very out of character for me. She also has to turn away to recover. If it’s possible to distract her in this way, I think I could learn to change my character for her. After all, any weapon to give me what I want most is agreeable. By the time she turns back I'm prepared to practice.

I keep at it until we hear the sound of a bell being rung in the room Arkarella and Mister Hydran are in. That's the cue to begin the entertainment. I calm down immediately and push back on her. Noriko takes a deep breath, lets it out, then nods, promising to hold all the emotions inside tightly so I can properly do my work.

It takes longer for the red of embarrassment to leave the faces of Glocia and Alef. My face flames red in response, and I mumble an apology for being too unrestrained in public. It's part of my getting lost in my head. I forget there are other people around when I'm focused. For all it was fun, it was also scientific experimentation to me (which is always fun for me).

When the men are in the room, I sigh. "I'm sorry I'm strange," I say randomly. Niana looks surprised, as if she hadn't noticed anything going on.

Glocia won't meet my eyes. "Overly excitable?"

"Yes," I say looking away from her also. "He was trying to calm me down."

"Hmmm." I shiver slightly. Glocia's scoldings are scary (I've heard her scold her mother enough now). Just that much is enough for me. I meekly move to a chair in the hall to sit and watch Izark in my head. At least I'll look calm on the outside that way.

As we men enter the room, Alef whispers to me, "Was that really necessary -- in public?"

"You have no idea," I answer dryly. "I tried everything else to distract her from wanting to come kill these two.  Reminding her that I only have eyes for her was all that would work." Alef's face goes red again and I silent laugh at him. Teasing him is also fun.

Doros is our starting act. We made a bet with Arkarella. If Doros could train the nearly-wild chimos he had to do tricks in a short time, Arkarella would let us have them. Doros does it handily. He can communicate with animals similarly to how I can, and they trust him and his slow moving energy. 

Mister Hydran is unimpressed and Arkarella sends Doros out with the chimos. That's relieving. Now, once the baby chimos are weaned, we'll have one for each of us. Our goal is to learn to teleport with them so our journey to find Gaya and the others doesn't take as long, and so we can escape from bad situations if we need to. Doros leaves the room to stand with Noriko who'll help him know when to make his next entrance.

Now it's my turn. Alef is the master of ceremonies, being the narrator for my performance. Salier chooses to join me on his own. He's already part of the plan, but we thought we would have to talk him into it. I perform feats of agility and strength -- at the expense of Salier's dignity -- until finally Alef hands me one of the pieces of fabric left over from the store that we attached to a pole.

Arkarella and Mister Hydran watch Izark mesmerized. I don't look at them more than once. It makes me want to punch them and that emotion would way too much distract Izark. Finally Alef hands Izark one of the pieces of fabric left over from the store that we attached to a pole. It's time for the finale.

I shift and Doros gets ready. I watch very carefully. Izark waves the cloth around beautifully, looking beautiful himself, although I only half-pay attention to it. My part is critical here. At just the right time, when Izark has completely hidden Salier from the view of the other two men, I nod at Doros. He disappears from the hall.

I see him reappear behind the cloth to grab Salier, then disappear again. Izark flips the fabric, catching it and bowing to his small audience, who are stunned at the ‘magic' trick of making Salier disappear.

I stand, the cue to the other two ladies it's time to go. Doros reappears next to me again. As Salier's cries of dismay and terror come from the tree outside the window of the room they're in, Izark and Alef come out of it. They close the door behind them and we head out, pausing only long enough for Izark to change out of his costume. We need to be gone before the word gets back to this manor that Mister Clairgeeta has escaped.

I wave the cloth around to make it flow beautifully, using just a little wind energy to make it float and billow with more grace. At just the right time, when I've completely hidden Salier from the view of the other two men, Doros appears behind the cloth to grab Salier, then disappears again.

I flip the fabric back to expose the empty space, catch the end of it in as dramatically beautiful a way as I distracted Noriko to keep their full attention, then bow to my small audience. They are in open-mouthed amazement at the trick of making Salier disappear.

As Salier's cries of dismay and terror come from the tree outside the patio door of the room they're in, we turn and leave them behind. They're now distracted by him. It's our turn to take our leave. Everyone pauses long enough for me to flame my costume and put on real clothing again. We're gone well before the word gets back to this palace that Mister Clairgeeta has escaped.

Katarina gets the wagon going as soon as we're in it, since she knows the road we need to go on. Doros puts the chimos in the basket with the others in the back with us and rides in the front with her, taking the reins from her. I sit next to Noriko to hold her hand, although that's the closest I want anyone, and even that's brief. What I really want this time is a long soaking hot bath with copious fragrant soaps and a sympathetic Noriko to help me get properly clean.

I'm happy to get to sit next to Izark in a wagon for the first time ever.

"Kizak, you're really an excellent performer. How about we go into the business together? You perform, I'll be your manager?" Alef is full-on merchant, and after complaining about wanting to go back to just being a soldier again, too.

I'm watching this time and grab Alef's hand before it can reach my shoulder and put it on the floor of the wagon and hold it there firmly. If I can't even touch Noriko for very long after that humiliating display, I won't put up with anyone else coming even close.

Izark really hates that Alef is so casual with his person. I'm the only one that he lets touch him, other than simple hugs from Gaya, and even then he has to have his breathing space from me at times as well.

Alef stares at our hands. "Okay. I get it. It was just a thought. ...Can I have my hand back now?"

I lean back against the wall of the wagon and watch Izark, my hands locked around my knees. I carefully keep my emotions at the lowest levels. Izark's had to be too extroverted this afternoon, both to keep me under control, and then in front of an audience. I understand really well he's needing a bit of alone time and he isn't going to get it in this crowded wagon.

I think back to this morning -- not the parts that would interrupt the quiet of our bond, but to his reaction to his dream. He felt so alone, so lost. Only me, only the fact I'm with him, keeps him sane and calm when his fear of his power comes to the surface.

I wish once again I could take that fear from him, erase it. I really hope Mister Clairgeeta's words will help him. I wonder if it's trust in enough experiences that Izark needs, or if it's trust in himself. I don't know the answers. I only have the knowledge that he's a good, kind man, and hope. I can only give those back to him.

I hope the force of good that's been helping us gives Izark what he needs to not be afraid any more. That's what I keep as a small prayer always in my heart. I can't do any more than I'm doing. Others will have to add their small parts and hopefully they'll build to become what Izark needs to finally understand for himself that he doesn't need to be afraid of himself, his strength.

Noriko leans back against the wall of the wagon, understanding I need a bit more breathing room, her hands locked around her knees. She's carefully keeping her emotions at the lowest levels. I'm grateful and with enough scolding Alef also lets me have breathing space. The chimos start to fight, not ready yet to be a mixed family, and I trade places with Doros. Driving the wagon team will give me the opportunity to get even more breathing space.

He's still close to me. I sat next to the wagon seat, figuring it would happen sooner or later.

Alef asks Doros if the chimos can take the wagon and all of us directly to Secretary Clairgeeta's wagon. Doros explains it doesn't work like that. Glocia suggests that if we speed up we might be able to catch up. They're impatient to reach Secretary Clairgeeta, to see if he'll help in the group effort to get good people together.

"No, that wouldn't make a difference," Katarina turns around to explain. "We're on a different road. This is the main path. They're taking the back roads. We'll get to the meeting place about the same time."

Niana turns and points into the woods. "Are they on the road over there? The Brunei brothers are on it."

"What!?" Katarina exclaims.

I hand her the reins. This was what we were trying to prevent. For them to have found us so fast, they must have special powers. "I need to go help them," I say. "Irktule, protect both me and Geena. Barago, use the chimos to get Geena out to safety if anything happens. Roki, you protect everyone else."

I'm running to the other road and dash down it quickly, fear and despair trying to rise up again. I don't want to lose my second connection to hope. When I see the overturned wagon, it's hard to control that reaction.

"Wow! He's better than Wei!" Katarina says, looking after Izark in amazement. I look after Izark sadly. I can't keep up with him, but don't want to be left behind. My place is still with him at his side.

"Let's turn around and follow them," Alef urges Katarina. I look up and nod, wanting that, too. Katarina nods and gets the wagon turned around -- not really easy for the horse on the road in the woods -- and we head back quickly to where the roads split, not too far back.

I put my head down on my knees and watch Izark again. It's going to use more energy, watching for a long time for the second time today, particularly after playing with the emotional attachment. The watching itself doesn't take as much as it used to, though, so if I rest while doing it I might be okay.

Chapter Text

Beyond the toppled covered wagon is a large furry animal-like monster -- as tall as the trees and long of arm. It's just knocked Wei and Danjel back and is about to attack them again. I leap into the air, not slowing my run, and land on its face with both feet, putting wind energy behind the kick to knock it back. The monster goes flying back about fifty feet or more. I land on my feet and look around quickly, using my wind to place everyone by scent so I'm not surprised later during my battle with the monster, that's only stunned. 

Izark lands on his feet neatly as if just performing more acrobatics. I sigh. It was beautifully executed, but he's going to fight high strength in front of others. This might not bode well for us.

I'm pleased to see he has enough control of his strength now that he hasn't changed physically into his second level forms. His practice is paying off now. That's at least one bonus. They might just think him one of the super strong humans with a few special powers.

A distinguished looking man, younger than Duke Jeida, is being protected by Lori from a shorter dark man: one of the Brunei brothers. None of them are moving, however, having been startled by my entrance. I look the other way and Wei is helping Danjel to his feet. I don't see the second brother. "What's this? I thought you were fighting with the Brunei brothers?"

Danjel answers. "That's the younger of the brothers. I never imagined all the cruel deaths were because he could transform into a beast."

The man being protected, who must be Secretary Clairgeeta, asks who I am. Lori won't remember our one meeting most likely. He only says, "Danjel seems to know him, sir. He must be on our side."

"Uda must be furious," a deeper voice from their group says. "Once he's upset there's no stopping him."

The monster is up again. In respect of my job to watch his back, I look at the scene in my mind, hunting for the other brother. I find him standing off Lori and another man, who is as distinguished as Duke Jeida, although perhaps younger and taller. That must be Clairgeeta. That brother is the one who looked at us in the city when the prison carriage passed us.

Indeed the monster -- Uda transformed -- is on his feet again and preparing an attack -- an energy attack that I can feel coming. He has inside him no fear or worry, only anger and focus on me as his prey. I begin to prepare my shield, then change my mind. My shield still goes up, but I put out both hands to send a return energy attack back. I'll need to meet it at some distance from where I stand. The attack coming my way is powerful enough to damage the people behind me if I let it get too close.

Izark has his hands up and then there's a series of explosions that radiate through the woods at a distance from him.  Oh, my. The monster can throw beams of energy, too. That can't be good.

The attacks smash into each other and radiate to either side, since I'm not letting the energy come any farther this way. Trees topple to either side for several hundred feet. This is worrisome. I take the fight to Uda, wanting to push him back even farther so any more energy attacks won't hurt the people I need to protect.

He swings at me and I dodge, leaping into the air to then slam my heel into his head. If I can weaken him quickly, or knock him out, will he change back? I spin around and slam him into the ground with a high powered kick to the back of his head. 

There was force power behind the kick for that to work. I look at Izark carefully. He still hasn't changed physically. That's impressive. I'm pretty sure that would have been top level second form power.

I've practiced enough now, and have had the peace of the farming village to teach me how to use almost all of my power without becoming fearful or angry. There's no need to be angry when I'd rather he change back to human and repent, like the Grey Bird that transformed did. There's no need to be afraid when even the Source of Evil is afraid of my power. I cannot die and I cannot be defeated.

Those were things I learned in that village as I worked there. Every little or big thing I can do to help others is a thing to be quietly proud of, and grateful for. Noriko saying she was grateful I'm the Sky Demon so I didn't die at that time taught me that. So I don't transform now when I fight. Only when I want to and how much I want to. Even that is an accomplishment to be quietly proud of. I'm grateful for the time we had there.

I land next to Uda, who growls just a little. Then faster than I thought possible, his hand is coming down to smash me. He's so large I'm surprised at his speed -- and that he wasn't stunned for longer. I manage to dodge that blow but the next one catches me and throws me back. He's after me so fast I can't get away and his hand comes down on my shield that I've pushed out from my body to block the blow.

The monster is up and slamming both hands down on Izark, so fast and so close I can only see the monster moving. It's gruesome to watch and blood begins to fly and spatter in the air. Suddenly pieces of the monster are flying through the air as well -- most notably an entire hand.

My breath catches. I hope that means Izark's shield is still holding, and that it continues to hold. I drop to the emotional level for just a moment and feel Izark's confusion. He isn't afraid, though, so I come back up to visual only. I don't want to distract him at a life-threatening time.

Blow after blow rains down on my shield, making it ring almost. He's so fast I can only hold it in place.  When Uda finally pauses to rest, both arms are badly damaged and one hand is missing at the wrist. What!? He used enough force to tear his own hand off? Does he not feel it? Doesn't he care what he's doing to himself? Why is he still fighting? He's not like Keimos, to demand that he win to show he's stronger. Has Uda really turned into the monster? It turns my stomach and I'm confused.

The monster pauses, finally worn out a bit, and I can see Izark on the ground staring at the monster, not understanding. But then, none of us watching can. How can a creature cause itself such injuries and pain and not care? The monster shivers, moves it's muscles, then demands more of itself.

And yet, he shivers and draws on more power and his elbow is coming to land a fierce attack on me. I dodge this time, not wanting my shield to continue to do damage to him. "Stop! You'll die if you keep this up! Don't you understand?"

My words only anger Uda more and the blows rain down in a mad pattern, as if he really is already gone and the monster only knows it wants to destroy. That does worry me. I felt like that, too, when I was almost lost to the Sky Demon and it only wanted destruction. What can I do to help him?

Irktule told us about evil seeds being in the Grey Bird's gut, that had entered him and made him transform so horribly. Maybe..., maybe if I can expel them, using the method I used on Noriko when she had the disease insects inside her gut. Then I won't kill him and he may be able to recover. Uda's pretty big, so I'll have to use a large attack, and I can't get close, so it will have to be a distance one, but if I'm careful....

Izark continues to leap out of the range of the monster, then gathers energy in his hands and directs it at the monster's gut. I get it. He's trying to see if he can expel the evil seeds it might have. Maybe Izark can effect a forced transformation.

I gather the energy in my hands and focus it directly at his lower midsection, then release it in a steady stream so that it can have the time to remove as many as possible. The energy slams into him and washes the evil seeds out of him. He has so many that even I can see the dark cloud of them leaving him on the other side from where I am. Many of them have eyes, and are actually the evil spirits that frightened Noriko.

Uda is knocked back and lies limp on the ground. I wait and watch, hoping it was sufficient he can return to human form. Instead, to my utter astonishment, he fades into fog and blows away, as if he was already so much the monster there isn't anything left. Was he only a physical host to the evil? Was he dead long before now? This isn't what I wanted, nor had hoped for.

As we watch, the monster fades away and blows away as if smoke or ash, like the first chimo I saw did when it was pierced by the sword. Izark is stunned. I blink, internally, then look around for the brother. He's now hiding in the trees near Izark and is focused.

Just as I send down a warning to Izark, and one of the others cries out to him, he's enveloped in a strange substance, but I can't tell if it's energy, light, or really the goo it looks like. Can't be pleasant, whatever it is. Izark is held suspended for a bit, then released. 

I hear from two different people -- one of them Noriko -- "Izark! Look out!" I turn and from above is coming an attack. I run but am already too late. A strange spiritual goo that I can't really feel and can barely sense holds me from moving. It doesn't hurt, but it's pulling something out of me that then snaps back into me as I'm let go and dropped to my feet again.

Uda's brother comes out from the trees near me. "I've never been beaten. I've absorbed your strength and abilities and replicated them. I will happily make you pay dearly for the life of my brother by beating you with your own power."

Oh. My. God. Izark is frozen and I can't breathe. I can only see the power of a single flap of Izark's white wings in my head. We are done for if Izark has to fight back with that kind of power.

My head whips up. How close are we? I follow the initial connection that tells me where he is. We aren't quite close enough, but nearly there. I rise to crouch at the edge of the wagon. As soon as we're close enough, I'm going to run.

Sido's words don't sink in for a while. He keeps talking, though. That makes me wake up and become very afraid and I have to tamp my fear down. Until he actually moves I can't believe he was able to do that. "This power is fantastic! Can you feel it moving through me?"

He suddenly freezes and a look of concern comes on his face. I've seen that before, too, when the Grey Bird didn't understand what taking in more evil power meant and it was too much for him to control. I'm a little less afraid now, but worry is increasing. I've had to work very hard to learn to control the power within me. If he's absorbed it all in one moment in time, it's very likely he's never had to control this much coming into him at once. What will his body do?

I can only watch with everyone else. I'm saddened at first, that as the transformation begins he can only cry out in surprise and fear. Horror rises in me as that turns to pain and terror as his body is distorted and enlarged, ripped apart by the power. Uda likely had his power come in incremental increases that he could control. This is different, and Sido never expected it.

"The power ...doesn't stop ...overflowing...." The words are pitiful, the scene horrific as the terrible transformation continues without stopping. His final words are, "What ...are you? ...What ...are ...you?" and then he's exploding into a hideous shape of smoke. It's winged and the horned head with flowing hair, claws ...all remind me of what I become when I'm the Sky Demon.

I'm frozen. The shape of my power is my shape. Surely it's given me away to have everyone here see it. They know he absorbed my power and my power did that. I can't turn around. I can't move. I've promised to protect. I've promised to serve. And Noriko is behind me. I can't run away, I can't face these people, and I can't face that what I saw is me.

"Geena?" Doros asks. I'd take one of the chimos and go now, but we haven't learned yet.

"We're close," I say tersely. There's an explosion in the direction I'm looking, then a large smoky shape in the sky I recognize. It's a dragon. I immediately drop to hunt for Izark. He's there. He's alive. He's petrified. I'm over the edge of the wagon and running for all I'm worth. Izark. I'm coming. Hold on. It's okay. But it's my heart that says it, not my mind. My mind is still too stunned. 

When I get close, I slow down and use my eyes better. I still have to take care of me, too. My heart is pounding from the worry, the run, and Izark's fear. I'm blocking now, keeping his fear out. I can't afford to feel it when he needs me like this.

My heart is seeking Noriko, seeking her warmth and comfort, to hear it will be okay. I can feel her coming. Her gentle reassuring voice unthaws me enough I can see again.

When I see him, I call for him, gently and low. "Izark. Izark. I'm here." He slowly turns toward me. I take another step and slip on a slope I wasn't paying attention to. He's grabbed me before I can fall on my face and is holding me tightly, my feet dangling. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold onto him.

I manage to get my frozen body to turn towards her. She slips on a slope she didn't know was between us and I'm suddenly with her, holding her in my arms tightly. I moved so fast her feet dangle, coming nowhere near to falling towards the ground. She tightly wraps her arms around my neck and holds me, sending as much comfort as can match my paralysis of fear.

"It's okay. It's okay. I'm here." Her words and her surety that I am what I am fill me with what I need. She kisses my neck and I shiver, finally able to overcome my paralysis enough to bury my face into her neck so I can hide from what I saw.

I'm able to begin breathing deeply again, although I still want to run rather than face anyone. I hold on to her tightly so I don't yet. Running will surely give us away and I can't back out on our promises. I still need to learn what Secretary Clairgeeta knows.

I need her to explain it to me, if she can, so I can understand. "The power overwhelmed him. He never even got the chance to attack. He transformed horribly, then exploded. I don't know what monster the final shape was, but the whole thing was frightening."

The Teacher comes to my rescue. "It's okay, Izark. If he didn't attack, you didn't have to defend. ...The shape of the cloud was a dragon, Izark. That is what they look like." I freeze in dread and fear again. She's okay with me being that?

"No, Izark. That wasn't you. That was him, and what he could never be. He tried to become a dragon and it wasn't possible. You won, and you won honorably. Please, don't be afraid. ...That is what I'm not afraid of. Please. Don't be afraid of it. Don't be afraid of yourself. I love you."

I desperately send my love again, then back off. The desperation isn't helpful. I take a breath and he does too, then gently sets me down on the ground. His heart hurts and his confusion and worry swirl around my rock of surety and calm, although I'm also worried for him. He's trying to take in my calm as best he can, but he has to fight himself to do it.

She's too desperate because I can only be horrified now that I've seen a dragon for myself. She tries to correct herself, taking a deep breath. I echo it, needing to calm down, and set her on her feet gently. The others are moving, coming out of their own shock and horror.

It was a horrible scene, and perhaps too emotionally charged to begin with. She sees with different eyes and her eyes see me as light, not dark like that was. I try to put it aside to think about more later. Later she and I'll be able to talk while we're alone and she can explain it to me more. It's difficult, however. I stand in her swirl of calm surety in my goodness and try to let it heal me, but it's difficult to do more than let it be a temporary bandage for now, a thing to cling to like to a life raft in my stormy sea that threatens to drown me again.

I'll stay steady as long as I have to, and the longer he takes, the more set and sure I become until I am unwavering. It adds a little to his confusion, that I can be so sure about a thing he can't. I look into his face, I'm sure with the look I gave him the first day when I was adamant I would take what I wanted with me from the cave. He doesn't have to believe me, but he won't change my stance and position.

The longer it takes me to settle, the more firm she becomes until she's unwavering in her faith in me. How can she believe it even when she knows all that she knows -- including what a dragon really is? What the Sky Demon really is? How is it possible?

I look at her, confused, lost. She looks at me with the eyes of the Teacher that will not be swayed and will lecture me until I give in if I let her open her mouth. She holds the words in, willing to let me come at it in my own way and time, but I know I’ll never sway her from her position. Knowing that settles me finally. We can have the argument and lesson later.

"Danjel, what was that thing we saw, the cloud shape in the sky?" It's Katarina, come from the wagon. I swallow and we carefully turn to look at the others, Noriko being my courage to do so yet again. I wonder if Noriko will answer it. Alef has also come with Katarina. They're all giving each other nervous glances, not sure how to answer the question. It wasn't a creature or monster of our world.

"Ah... that was...," Danjel doesn't know what to say.

Alef looks at the others, surprised by their reaction. He turns to Lori. "Do you know what it was?"

Lori tugs at the neck of his shirt and looks away. "Well..., the older Brunei brother said he was capable of absorbing his opponent's powers and abilities. After he absorbed Kizak's, he turned into a horrible monster, then... evaporated into the sky, making that shape."

My internal teacher wants to answer the question. All of the rest of me tells it very firmly to "shut up". I wait, watching the reactions of the others. Izark and I may need to run. He's still holding onto my arm and I'm clutching his sleeve in my hand. I know he'll grab me up and do the running if it comes to it. We may even leave Doros behind this is such a tricky situation at the moment.

Noriko holds very still. Her hand holding my sleeve tightens a little but she doesn't say anything. If anything she's now as ready to run as I am. That helps me, too, to know that she'll go if I decide we must. I'm still holding onto her arm needing that much still to anchor me.

"That shadow was a reflection of Sido's inner self. The force he took in created it." We all turn our eyes to Secretary Clairgeeta, who has offered an answer to all of us.

Not quite, but I'll let it pass since that explanation protects Izark. We all turn our eyes to Mister Clairgeeta.

"Doctor Clairgeeta?" Danjel asks. Doctor? As in Ph.D? I'm now extra interested in talking to this man.

Noriko's interest spikes at the new title Danjel gave Clairgeeta. It takes me a moment to work out that it's because she wants to be at a university and that's a university title.

"Force is force. It's just physical power. A man's inner self determines the character of the force he manifests. In other words, whether a man manifests a good force or a bad force depends on which world his ‘mind' belongs to."

Doctor Clairgeeta holds up a hand and puts his thumb and forefinger close together. "Sido had very little capacity to contain power inside him. He destroyed himself by absorbing more power than he could accommodate." Yes, that's what happened from my experiences. Like when Noriko teaches, I'm waiting for the more to explain the first part. That's the part I want to understand.

He was a AAA rechargeable battery trying to take in the energy of a D-cell, so he exploded. Makes sense to me.

"The world we live in is greatly affected by another world that we can't see. Our world affects this other world as well." Izark's and mine? "The nexus between the two worlds exists in our minds." But he has put his fist on his heart, and I stare at it. Izark and I are connected through the heart, but our minds determine the strength and depth of the connection. The central point.... Is it in the heart or the mind? Or is it where the heart and mind meet?

"If one is attracted to the world of darkness he'll generate darkness. If he chooses the world of light, he'll generate light. The tension between darkness and light produces a variety of effects in our world." Oh. The worlds of dark and light -- good and evil -- and their effects on the "real" world. This is going to take me some time to work out. Movement brings me back out of it though, for now. Doctor Clairgeeta is headed towards Izark and me.

I chose light but was doing good before then. But I was as much -- ...No, I am as much darkness as I am light. Do I stand at the nexus? When I chose light, did I move to there, or begin to? It's possible to do good while standing in darkness? I know it. I was already doing it. Have I been walking towards or in the light the whole time I've been drowning in darkness?

I begin to drown again in confusion and stop thinking. Now isn't the time. I hope Noriko's going to think hard about this. I understood what he said, but trying to apply it to me is going to be a large task, I think.

Doctor Clairgeeta is headed towards Noriko and I. "The world is beset with conflict. Evil forces have grown stronger. Those of us who oppose this growing evil are being removed from positions of power in our countries. However, we may still be able to reverse this trend." I raise an eyebrow slightly. He also believes we can return to peace, like Noriko.

"I believe that the world of light can overcome the world of darkness. If we can open a pathway to the world of light, we might even be able to change the Sky Demon from a force of destruction into a force for good." It's already happening, because Noriko's already put my feet on that path, and that's a change I'm working hard for. That part I don't have any doubts about, but it was what we were hoping to hear from another person who has studied it and also believes it.

"I believe that the world of light exists in the core of our being." That's where I found it that one time and where I keep looking for it to find it again. 

I blink. In the core of our beings? The world of light is there in, or accessible through, the nexus?

Doctor Clairgeeta arrives next to us and smiles at Noriko and me, then turns to face the others. "That is my theory. Danjel told me someone was interested in my ideas, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to talk a little about them." I'm grateful he's told us now, so that if we still have to run I have them to consider properly.

I stare at him in amazement. He said all that just now to protect us -- Izark and me.

He turns back to me. "You are an amazing man. You have tremendous power within you, but you control it very well." He holds out his hand. "Thank you for saving my life."

No..., thank you for saving ours.

I stare at the hand for a moment, surprised a little that he's willing to take my hand. It must surely take courage to even offer it, for all he is likely grateful to still be living. Pushing down my own reticence to touch, I slowly move to take his hand in mine.

"Izark. He can tell. He can tell but he stepped in and said all that to protect us, and to help us." Noriko lets me feel her wonder. She also shows me how open and expanded her mind and understanding feel. I'm relieved the Teacher has been placed on the next path of learning we need.

"The world of light -- the force of good -- has given us a gift, and moved us closer to understanding how to reach our goal, in one giant step. I'll need time to understand it all, but...." 

I can only let him feel that same wonder again. I've no words for it. Izark turns his head and looks at me, his own brand of wonder on his face, trying to process what's been said.

She's equated the world of light Doctor Clairgeeta mentioned to the entity of good she's seen? I look at her, wondering how her mind turns in that way. I'm also not quite sure I was ready to be pushed a giant step forward, but it feels like it might be her giant push, not mine this time. I'm still wrestling with mine.

I smile encouragingly at Izark, a happy smile, although I try to keep the light restrained to my eyes. I'll blind him if I let it out in my full expression. It makes me even happier when Izark's expression agrees with me, and the fear is gone, at least for now.

She smiles a happy smile, full of the light she wants to expose my darkness to. I'm grateful she restrains it for right now, and I'm glad she doesn't mind giant pushes forward. I would like to have her answer when she learns it. If she believes that Doctor Clairgeeta is willing to help us and protect us, then I can only be even more grateful.

I look back at Doctor Clairgeeta and firm my grip on his hand. "Thank you," I say with great meaning and depth. I wonder if he'll understand it, if he understands who we are.

I look from Izark to Doctor Clairgeeta. He's looking now at me. I smile at him. "Thank you," I say softly. I'm saying it to him, and to the world of light. I want this man to be my main professor in this world, even if he isn't a medical doctor. He has won my loyalty, and my undying gratitude.

Doctor Clairgeeta releases my hand and looks to Noriko. She smiles at him. "Thank you," she says softly. Her words also convey more than she is saying. Doctor Clairgeeta's expression says that he's also learning, processing what we are and have done in front of him today, but I only feel a quiet conviction coming from him. Similar to Noriko's but quieter.

Introductions over, we're on the road again and I'm impatient. I want my first lecture from my new professor, even if he doesn't know he's been adopted as that. I ask him to tell us first how he began his research and he kindly launches into the story of how he was always interested in the lore and legends of the world.

I'm also impatient, honestly. I want to know as much as she does. I listen to their conversation from the seat of the wagon where I'm driving the horses from. Alef is sitting next to me.

He's confused but not afraid. Only those who were in that place to see it all are afraid -- except for Doctor Clairgeeta. I ignore the others' looks and nervousness since I can't do anything about that except continue to be myself, and pay attention to the teaching.

In one reading, while still a student, Doctor Clairgeeta came across a brief passage about the world of light and its counter-effects to the world of darkness. It caught his attention and over time he wandered all over the continents looking for ancient writings on the world of light and how to access it. Based on his research and meditations, he finally come up with the theory he explained earlier.

"How can we open the path to the world of light?" Glocia asks him.

"It has to do with our inner selves. Sadly, the ancient writings don't specify how to do it. The best I've been able to understand it is that each person has to come up with their own interpretation and find the path themselves -- at least I haven't been able to describe it to anyone and have them understand just from my words how to do it. I think they didn't write it for the same reason. It's too difficult to put into words, even when experienced."

I look at him and quietly ask, "Have you found it?" He looks at me, then smiles kindly but doesn't answer.

I sink into that depth of heart and look for him, feeling to see if I can find him, the same as I can find Izark. It seems like he is there, just on the other side of a large glass window. As if I'm outside on the street, looking at a mannequin, or other shopper, in a shop window. I feel anticipation, but from him I feel calm strength, like there's something behind him or within him that is even larger than he is, looking over his shoulder.

It's bigger than I can comprehend or access right now and I take a deep breath and pull out slowly to look at Doctor Clairgeeta again in the "real" world. His kind look now contains a touch of pride, that I've even managed to do that much. My eyes crinkle just a little, pleased with his response.

I feel Noriko move and follow behind her at a distance. It's like moving inward to feel the emotions and to help the other one of us feel theirs, but it's outside the emotions. I can't follow her very far, but I recognize it. She's doing what I do when I sink into my power to learn what it is and how to control it. She isn't gone long before she surfaces again and I can feel her pleasure to have learned something new.

"Is the nexus between the worlds at the join between the mind and the heart?" is my next question.

That's different from what I wondered. I see it as if the world of darkness spreads out behind me and the world of light in front of me, because that's the way I'm choosing to face and have always chosen to face, even when I was in the middle of the darkness. I've never faced the world of darkness. It's why I wondered if I stand at that nexus now, or very close to it.

I still can't stand next to Noriko who's fully in the world of light. That's too bright for me as of yet, but the push behind me has always been to get me there, to where she stands. I guess I feel like I'm at the nexus now because this most recent push is one to push me completely out of the darkness and into the light. It's the one step I'm afraid to take, to leave the darkness completely behind when it's the only place I've understood until now.

Dr. Clairgeeta's eyes widen just a little and he sits back to consider his answer. I put my hand over my heart and look down, focusing inside again. In my heart is love and around me is the sense of warmth. When I focus my mind on those feelings, relaxing to let everything else go, I feel the same power and strength I saw when I went "looking".

The warmth, love, and power begin to swirl around me until I feel a light touch on my arm. I open my eyes and Doctor Clairgeeta is gently touching me. His eyes, and his touch say, You're on the right track, but now is not the time.

It's hard to pull it back in, so I do it slowly until it's all within me. It pools slowly, filling my own heart with the strength, peace, and warmth I was feeling. When I'm settled again, I nod and relax. Even my mind is calm.

His eyes crinkle again with pride and he turns to distract the others with another comment. I ride the wave of light and strength calmly, listening to the remainder of his lecture and his answers to the others' questions. I find holding that level is as tiring as all the other things I've done of this sort and eventually have to let it go.

The ride becomes quiet generally. I lean back against the side of the wagon and slowly slip into sleep, only the peace staying with me. I know what to do now, what to practice, even if it will take time to find the actual door. We are one more step closer, and almost to the goal. I can feel it. I am grateful.

I feel a power rise up behind me. It's gentle and full of peace and love. I look over my shoulder in surprise. Noriko has her hand over her heart and has her eyes closed and her head bowed. Before it can become too great, Doctor Clairgeeta gently touches Noriko. She opens her eyes and looks into his, then slowly the power is drawn back into her again. When she's settled it within her, I feel a thing I'd never thought to feel again. Emotional peace. The place where we are connected emotionally has become quiet, calm.

Doctor Clairgeeta turns to the others and continues to answer questions and I listen to them. Eventually I feel Noriko fatiguing and the strong level of peaceful quiet is let go but the emotions are still a lot calmer than before. I'm joyful with relief and gratitude. I will love Doctor Clairgeeta forever for gently teaching Noriko how to find the peace that lets me have my peace back. Surely he must be a master already to be able to do it. We've saved a treasure only we can fully appreciate.

I hope the world will some day be able to properly give him their gratitude for helping save them from the destruction that could have come on them. I've walked another step forward, too, in just that much. To know that he's so willing to teach Noriko and help her walk her path so I can walk the path I wish to walk gives me the confidence that I also can reach that goal, that destiny I wish to have.

At our arrival at the safe house for Doctor Clairgeeta, Danjel asks the de Gilenees if they'll stay and help on the eastern continent. Glocia considers it, then shakes her head. "We should return to Father. It will be good for us to be able to tell him and those with him that there are others here on the Eastern Continent who are working like we will be -- to restore light to the world. I do wish I knew where he was, though. It may take us a long time to find them."

Danjel rubs his chin. "We're in contact with the clansmen on that continent as well. I've heard that there are some statesmen who've been banished that went to Ennamarna in the country of Donya. It's also known as the ‘Town of Sandy Hideouts'. It's a desert fortress. You could try looking there. Duke Jeida may have gone to be with them."

Noriko was excited to arrive here. This place is the university of the eastern continent and she finally feels at home. I know she wants to stay and continue to learn from Doctor Clairgeeta, but I've made promises, and she originally said that we might be needed by the world of light to see the de Gilenees returned to Duke Jeida. At the moment I'm waiting.

I'm wishing we could stay here in this place. I want to learn more from Doctor Clairgeeta, to be tutored under his hand until Izark and I can find the answers we need. This place he's being protected in is a small university in itself, and very comfortable to me. I've peeked into some of the doors and there's a large library tantalizing and tempting me.

Izark is keeping balanced. We signed up originally to help Glocia get to her father, but he also wants to have the answers he seeks. He's an honorable man who keeps his commitments, but he knows he could also ask to be released.

Doctor Clairgeeta, now dressed in his normal robes that make me feel more like an acolyte of knowledge than a college student, steps forward, his expression again kind and his eyes telling me more than he's telling everyone else.

"The folklore of Ennamarna and the writings in that place tell more about the world of light, and more clearly, than anywhere else in this world. It was considered the center of the understanding of the world of light at its height.

"It isn't surprising if good statesmen are taking refuge there. People of that town are protected by the light. It's in a harsh environment but the people lead very fulfilling lives there." He looks directly at me. "You might find it interesting to look into the documents I drew my theory from." Noriko is quite willing to go if it's for that.

I want to jump up and down in excitement. I'll give up staying here -- for now -- if it means a research field trip that could help Izark finally find the courage to believe in himself and his own goodness.

Alef turns to look at us. "So, it looks like we've a slight change in plans. We'll head for Donya instead of starting in Zago. All right?"

Izark looks briefly at me. It hasn't been a secret what I'm feeling. I smile at him. He keeps cool.

"Sure," I say. If I can meet my promises and obligations and she can still learn more, then that's the best solution.

Noriko answers Alef, "It sounds rather interesting to me."

When we leave, I hang back and keep Doctor Clairgeeta to myself privately for a moment. Looking into his eyes, I say respectfully, "Doctor Clairgeeta. I'll come again to study under you further, even if we find the answer before we return. Thank you very much for being the agent of light we needed right at this time, and for your kind protection."

He looks at me just a little surprised, then shakes his head. "I'm glad I was able to do exactly what I selfishly wanted to do: to influence the Sky Demon for good with my own words and hands. To be saved by the two of you from my death was a blessing I couldn't have ever foreseen.

"I was in that carriage, lost in my own darkness, sorrowing that I would never be able to even see a glimmer of that dream fulfilled, praying in my heart for some possibility it could still come to pass. Truly you have both fulfilled all my hopes already; although," he smiles wryly, "I'm sure you're aware that there is more I would selfishly wish for you to do."

I smile back. "Of course. So does the world of light. It's been helping us all along as well. We're learning that at the darkest times we're being placed to help others so that we can receive the greater light we need to move forward." I can feel Izark tugging on me.

I hesitate just a little longer. "Doctor Clairgeeta, may I?" He looks at me a moment, then allows me to hug him, like I would hug my father, and I tear up. He has brought me so much more hope and courage than I had. Even the short time we've been with him has been like anchoring at a safe port for a time.

For just a second I don't want to leave again, then I take a breath and step back. "Thank you," I say, then turn and run to Izark. He looks at me and I look back up and smile for him. He puts his hand on my head, then helps me into the wagon. 

Once I'm in, Izark turns to look back at Doctor Clairgeeta and they share a look of understanding and gratitude. Izark bows slightly to him. Doctor Clairgeeta bows his head in response and Izark climbs up on the wagon seat and gets us going. I watch Doctor Clairgeeta until we can't see him any longer, then turn and face forward again, ready for the next part of our adventure.

When we leave, Noriko hangs back and speaks to Doctor Clairgeeta privately for a moment. The others are in the wagon and are ready to go. I use our connection to tug gently on her to let her know it's time to go. She hesitates just a little longer, then hugs Doctor Clairgeeta. I can feel her gratitude and love, and her sorrow.

Here she has found a home. I'm sure we'll be back.  She'll push me constantly as soon as things are calm enough that we can. She turns and runs to me. She smiles for me but some of the sorrow of missing her family remains. I put my hand on her head to let her know I understand.

I help Noriko into the wagon then turn to look back at Doctor Clairgeeta. His expression asks for me to keep trying hard to find the world of light. He's never once said what he believes or may know. I know he'll keep our secret and am grateful. I bow slightly to him, giving him my promise and my respect.

Doctor Clairgeeta bows his head in grateful response. It's time to move on and study what we've learned from him so we're ready for the next thing the world of light shows us to push us on our path forward.

Chapter Text

In the port city of Coropori, Alef sells the wagon and horse and pays me. I search the market hard until I find a well made sword. I talk the price down by also buying two knives, one for each of Noriko and I, and the belts to go with them, but it's an expensive sword. I need to have one that won't fall apart when I run into Keimos again.

Noriko made Alef buy her yarns and knitting needles when we went shopping in Steny. She's used up the yarn she bought then and I ask if we should go looking for more. I'm much happier having her knit than itching to run her fingers through either my hair or Alef's while we're on the wagon.

I'm a little surprised when she shakes her head and asks for fabric again instead. She'll have to buy thread and needles again. She got the scissors from the de Gilenee's shop as part of the fifty percent off deal Alef gave me.

I want to sew clothes for the both of us again next, starting with another bandanna for him. He's gone without for long enough. I don't pick blue this time. This time I ask him what color he would like to see on me and then pick a complementary color for him.

That pleasantly surprises me, that she would consider my preferences. I tease her for a bit, but then get serious, also wanting to know what would look good and wanting her to learn more about me since she wants to know.

When I've picked a color, she then compares colors to that color and to me until she picks a complementary color for what she'll make me. When her shopping is done, she gives me a kiss of gratitude. I'm happy to do it to see her content, and for the personal reason I said before.

I'm getting better at keeping my emotions calm and just letting the little through he needs. It really helped to understand what I learned on the wagon earlier from Doctor Clairgeeta. The peace and calm that came with learning what the world of light feels like has stayed with me as an anchor for my once wild emotions.

With this peace in me has come further tenderness from Izark. He's able to allow me to be closer to him because my peace allows him to relax his own control and defensiveness. It's as if we've matured overnight. Of course I haven't really. I still flicker with the desire to tease, or flirt and whatnot the same as he does, but in the main we're much calmer now along the emotional channel. I think he thanks Doctor Clairgeeta as much for that as for the words of encouragement.

I can also "anchor" faster now. If something does come up that needs to be addressed -- like officials who decide to be abusive -- I immediately sink my "feet" and heart into that depth of peace and strength, then face them with serenity. Just that much seems to unnerve them and they often leave shortly after. If action is necessary, I only do that which is required for the results we need.

This quick anchoring has benefited Izark also. Because I have no fear, he can quickly and calmly react the way he's already trained himself to. I feel like I'm finally becoming a worthy partner, although I try not to have any pretension towards that. I'm still just a frail human young woman. I've just learned a little more inner strength.

That makes me think of the Grey Bird master's words about the strength of gentleness. That's what this feels like. ...It's what Doctor Clairgeeta felt like too. I wonder if the Grey Bird master found the world of light, and that's where he found his strength. I think I would like to talk to Gaya and Zena about that in more depth, or maybe they can point me to a clan master who would be willing to discuss those thoughts with me.

"Hands busy" is as important to me as the strength she's been learning in keeping her emotions calm and under the surface. Because she's been more internally peaceful I can again allow us to be closer together. I don't have to work so hard to maintain control of both of us. We both still flicker with emotions that rise above the surface, but that's manageable.

She also "anchors" faster now. She says that's what she feels like when she waits for me to come to an understanding myself while she stands firm in her own emotions or beliefs. On the outside when she does it her Teacher comes to the fore, looking calmly at whoever or whatever is trying to unbalance her. Often it greatly unnerves the person trying to affect her. I'm glad it's not only me.

I'm trying to let it happen without worry. I've worried as long as I've known the Teacher was inside her that it would someday learn proper strength. Doctor Clairgeeta's lessons to her were lessons for the Teacher, and if I want to understand and move forward, I also need to allow the Teacher to grow in strength. It remains a calm strength, so that helps me relax as well.

Like I've learned to not fear, she's also learning it. When she anchors, the fear doesn't come. That helps me be able to quickly and calmly react the way I've already trained myself to. I've thought from early on that she already understands that power and strength come from gentleness, but this is more real. Was the Grey Bird master also a master of light like Doctor Clairgeeta?

We board a ship bound for Donya and Noriko must watch and learn everything about a sailing ship. She tells me privately she's never been on one. Honestly, I haven't either, so I follow her around and learn, too, but only act the bodyguard. She has to lie regularly to Glocia, who wants to know all sorts of things about living on an island. I'm sympathetic to Noriko, but what can we do? She's done a good job with keeping Glocia from being suspicious -- better than I would have, likely.

We board a ship bound for Donya. I'm intrigued. It's a schooner, a sailing ship, and I spend the time from casting off from shore until the sails are tied tightly into position watching everything the sailors do very carefully. Niana asks me if, because I'm from an island, I already know what they're doing.

I sigh to myself, then shake my head and say that large ships like this weren't necessary on our island so I only know how to handle small personal sailboats used for fishing off the coast. I explain that I'm watching what they're doing so I can understand how it's different for large vessels. That seems to soothe her curiosity enough and I sigh to myself in relief. ...Until she asks how we came to cross over the sea to the mainland, then?

I tell her we used the small boat to get to a bigger island, then took the larger boats to the mainland, but that doesn't mean I learned everything the first time. She finally wanders off again. I send a complaint to Izark and he's sympathetic, but then we let it go.

I love being on the ship. The quiet, the wind, the smell of the sea, the gulls and occasional pods of sea life sink into me with soft delight. I spend a lot of time up on deck meditating and practicing the new skills I've acquired, trying to increase my strength even more, although I'm careful to not overwork.

When I can feel that it's enough for the day, I collect my sewing and spend time keeping my hands busy while practicing watching Izark lightly, so that he can't tell I am. He is, at the same time, practicing his own strengthening exercises and he catches me. I go lighter again until he catches me again. In this way we help each other as well. When I get tired enough, I stop looking and just feel to sense when he's looking at me. That helps me to get better with that as well.

Noriko and I spend our times apart studying. Usually she stands or sits near the railing in the center of the ship while I go sit on the prow at the front of the ship where the wind plays with the sea. The best energy is there and I'm learning how to draw it into myself so I don't have to get so tired. All four of the energies I have the most affinity to are there. I'll try one more time when we reach land to see if I can tease earth energy out, but it won't matter if I can't, I think.

While Noriko rests from her practicing and studies, she sews the clothes to keep her hands busy. Then she practices watching me lightly and I catch her. We play back and forth in that way throughout the day. Sometimes I can tell she's just focused on me, feeling along the connection that lets us know where the other is. It's something I do without thought still, having learned it early to know where she was. I'm glad she's practicing it. Those times warm me, that she wants to know that I'm nearby.

I also spend a lot of time meditating on the most recent lessons the world of light wants me to have an understanding of. When I think I'm finally ready to face the world of light more directly, I go and find Noriko and bring her back to where I like to sit. She won't fall from here when she has me to hold her, which I want to do anyway since we've been separate most of the time until now, save at night. (The nights are also quiet and enjoyable.)

"Noriko, I think I'm ready to try to walk more in the light. Will you help me?" She nods and takes my hand in hers. Together we turn inward. Like the time in the wagon with Doctor Clairgeeta I go with her. She knows I'm with her this time. She takes us to the edge of the warm strength that's within her, where I saw her go down into it before. It's a sea of light and peace that is so very much like the ocean of power and strength that is within me.

It's like we're on that shore I built the dock on, but this time instead of a sea of darkness and fear, it's a sea of light and peace. I just hold his "hand" there on the shore and let him feel it, "listen" to it lap on the shore, although our ears are really hearing the sound of the actual sea on the boat we're sitting on.

Noriko just lets me feel it and come to understand it in my own way. When I understand that it isn't something to fear, but can't keep the feeling of being uncomfortable at bay any longer we turn away and return to our bodies again, where we're still holding hands. Noriko smiles at me, proud of what I've been able to do. I shyly smile back. It seems like such a small thing to be proud of, but even I'm pleased I was able to stand in the middle of the light for so long.

"I go down into it when I'm practicing, Izark. Like you take your power and it fills you and then you use it to act on the world, I manipulate that."

I didn't know it was that similar. I listen to her lesson with interest.

"In there is where we talk to each other -- that's at the surface. Under that is where we ‘see' each other -- the level the seers of this world use is my guess, although I've not tried to see anything other than what we've already been given to see of each other.

"Below that is the emotional connection. I can stand there and see into the full world of light, but it's like looking through glass. I still haven't found the door to cross over into it. It isn't really time yet -- not until I've understood the sea itself, I think. And, ..." I hesitate, "I think I can't until you're ready to. I think you're on the other side of the door. Until you're ready, too, the door won't become visible to me. We walk there together already. At the nexus is the door that belongs to both of us. Do you understand?"  I'm not sure my words are sufficiently clear.

Because she sees it as up and down and I see it as forward and back, I wonder if she and I have to meet. I have to walk forward into the light far enough to reach where she's waiting to come down to meet me. I give a little internal laugh to that thought. It will be like I'm running to catch her as she falls off yet another building or cliff. Not really, but it makes me think that. I nod to let her know I understand as best I can at the moment.

"I'm not in a hurry," I reassure him. "I have a lot I'm still learning, and it takes a lot of strength and energy to carry that much power. Although you already know that," I blush a little. "So I'm working up my ‘muscles', like you are with your powers."

I understand that fully. I want her as strong as possible before the final confrontation. Practice is good.

I lean on my lifted knee to look out over the sea. "I think... if I can feel like I can go there, if I'm allowed to ...if I have ...permission, I guess, then I'll be ready." I'm referencing the sea of light that we stood beside. "I still carry the thought that I'm not worthy to be considered human or of the light. That I'm tainted and will bring darkness with me." That lesson ingrained in me from young childhood has been hard to remove, although I've come a long way to stand in that place today.

Noriko squeezes my hand to comfort and encourage me. I look back at her and smile gently to reassure her. "I'm working on that. Doctor Clairgeeta's words were very helpful to me in overcoming that. Knowing that I can choose, both from his words and Zena's thoughts...," I have to smile at her a larger smile, "...and of course your own patient determination, has finally given me enough hope to overcome my doubts. I still have to face them a little at a time, but it's much better than it was."

"I'm so glad, Izark," I say quietly. "I also found so much hope in his words. I'm so glad the world of light is helping us, and allowing us to help others at the same time." I lift his hand and kiss the back of it and put it to my cheek. He lets go of me, taking his hand back and I patiently let him, but he only pulls me close to him and holds me. We sit together: warm, calm, and at peace in the middle of the sea.

I take my hand back and pull her close to hold her, wanting my reward. It's peaceful to sit here together on this ship in the sea, like it was in the farming village. We are blessed again to have a time to learn and grow without worries.

Noriko and I are standing at the rail of the ship, on the main deck, when Glocia comes looking for us. "Roki wants to see you, Kizak," she says. I raise my eyebrow. He couldn't just come himself? 

Somehow, whenever things like that are said, out of the blue and unexpectedly interrupting a peaceful moment, my reader-self always wonders if it's the beginning of something hard, stressful, or super important. I'm not sure anything on this ship can be, but that's just how I interpret them.

I take the back of Izark's jacket and follow as he goes to answer the call. He looks over his shoulder in surprise at me. I look back at him, then shrug one shoulder, but don't let go. I want to know what he was called for before I relax.

She only does that when worried or if we're going into a place I may need to protect her. She just shrugs back. I leave it alone. I don't mind the company or closeness and if she needs it, who am I to argue?

We don't spend much time below decks with the other passengers, both preferring quiet and not wanting to have our faces too well known to everyone. Glocia takes us to where Alef is waiting outside a door to a room. Alef motions for me to enter the room and see what's going on inside. I step just into the room and Noriko lets me go and listens from behind me and Alef, who is leaning over my shoulder to speak into my ear quietly.

"See those men? They've been bullying the passengers into gambling with them. I've been watching and I'm pretty sure the dice are loaded. It's really awful." I sigh to myself. Alef really knows too well how to be a merchant and politician. I'll have to wait to hear what I need to hear.

I can hear the salesman already. Izark's feeling it too, but he lets it slide so I do too.

"I didn't think gambling was allowed on the ship," I prompt him.

Alef directs my attention to another set of men huddled in the back of the room. "Those are the ship's personnel who've tried to stop it."

"Doesn't the ship have security personnel?" I ask, playing along and guessing where this is going already.

Alef leans over Izark and I can see he's at the hook part of ‘bait and hook'.

The mark is about to fall. "It would sure be nice if someone claiming to be security stepped in and did something to end their intimidation."

Really, Alef. Just be direct with Izark. It works so much better.

"You're saying...?" I ask tersely. He has the capacity to do it himself, and the practice as commander of the guard.

"We've been offered a discount if you'd be willing to help out."

I pause irritated. "We if I...." At least he's learned I won't do it for free.

Alef defends himself (poorly) and with lots of smooth smiles. "Just use that nice new sword you bought yourself in town. It'll be easy for you, ...right?" He only wants to see me put on another display. It's irritating.

I don't answer him, only turn to walk back to our room. It's easier to get it over with than complain, but my sword is in my room since passengers aren't supposed to be carrying swords and one of them is -- and using it to bully the passengers with.

I kick Alef in the ankle and scowl at him as Izark starts the walk to our room, then turn my back on him to follow Izark.

I'm glad I'm already past both of them when Noriko kicks Alef in the ankle and turns her back on him to follow me, because my eyebrows jump up into my hair. I'm quite certain she gave him the same scowl she gave Barago, too. Alef protests that surely it was unnecessary.

As he protests at my back, I turn and say over my shoulder, "If you can't just ask plainly and politely, stop getting him into things that you won't touch yourself, Commander." His look of chagrin is barely enough and I turn my back on him again.

I'm glad I'm in front of her because I'm laughing so hard I can hardly contain it, and she knows when I'm laughing silently. I don't need to have her feisty protecting ire redirected at me.

Noriko's been quiet since we left the hallway with Alef standing sheepishly tongue tied for once.

"Izark...," I bite my lip as he ties on the bandanna I made for him at the beginning of this sea voyage.

She stays silent, even as I reach for my sword belt. It isn't really like her to not say her words. Instead of picking up my sword belt, I reach for her and tilt her head up so I can see what she can't say. The worry is rising above her calm sea.

I put my hand on the back of his hand. "I'm proud of you, Izark, and I love that you help people naturally and easily. It's just..., it's hard now to not be worried every time you say ‘yes'. If even one of them learns something they shouldn't and wants revenge once we get to shore, we'll be running again."

I lean toward her and rest my forehead on hers so we're close enough to breathe each other's breaths. It's a small worry to me now. When we were first together I would have agreed with her. I send her my own peace and caring, trying to soothe her worry. She tries to allow it, but it isn't enough. She needs words, too.

"Each time, we have also been led closer to our goal," I tell her quietly what I've learned in my meditations. "You've said it yourself. When we choose to do good for others, the world of light helps us. Some things are just good or nice things to do and life continues normally. I'm happy to do those things, and I'd hate to miss the little thing that leads me to the next lesson from the world of light." She taught it to me herself.

He's right. I've encouraged him before in this same way. I sigh, relax, and nod. He tips my head farther and gives me a kiss. I give one back, gentle and slow. Opening my eyes, I pull back slightly and he does as well, slowly slipping his hand off my face. It's a promise of a reward for the both of us when this task is done.

It isn't a large thing, but it is still being on public display. I despise that so much any reward for getting it accomplished is good. The reward of being with Noriko is better coin for me than cheaper fare for the ocean voyage. She'll also want the comfort when it's over. That's how she is.

I'm ready to go, but Noriko is standing in the way with an interesting expression on her face. As if she's making sure that the clothes she sewed were right or wrong. I'm not wearing what she made so I don't know why.

When he's dressed, I look him over carefully. There's something missing, but I'm not sure what. As we walk out of the room, I know.

She finally turns and walks with me out of the room, but she tugs on me instead of letting me go towards the room where the thugs are.

"Izark, presence is more important, I think. Let's go find a higher-up on the ship before you go." He looks at me, confused a little. I smile. "Your costume isn't quite completed."

Oh? I follow after her as I can only do when she gets like this. She has to ask many people of the ship's crew until she finds someone who has heavy boots they'll let me borrow for a few hours at most. Noriko makes me take off the soft lightweight boots I own and prefer and replace them with the heavy boots. They're a little large on me and as I walk they make loud clomping noises.

It takes some hunting through people, but we finally find someone who has military style boots. Izark's soft boots, that he prefers, make him a forest elf or fairy: not someone who instills fear unless the person looking at them really understands just how frightening the fey are. That's being lost even in my world what with Disney and all. We need a pirate king for this to really be effective. I carry his soft boots and he clops along in the borrowed heavy boots.

"Really, Noriko?" I'm quite unsure about this. She's walking by my side and carrying my boots.

She stops me and looks me over one more time, her eyes narrowed, again judging what she's seeing so that I squirm a little inside. "You know how I talk about this place being storybook to me?" I'm immediately captured. I want to hear more about that and I've forgotten to ask. I nod that I'll listen.

"In my world there are also moving pictures, [movies], that tell a story in picture, sound, and word. Like actors on a stage, but it's recorded and shown all over the world. How an actor dresses, the sounds their clothing make, how they wear them, all make the image the audience sees. What the audience sees determines what they believe."

Ah. I've seen a few plays in my time as I've had to escort young ladies at times I'd rather not have. I've also had to play a few acts myself to escape them.

"You'll do more good by presenting to them a visual image of what you want them to see than if you try to do it by words alone. Let them see the fear before they hear it. You're already the strong, silent type. You don't have to be flowery in your speech, nor even convincing. Just be yourself -- direct and threatening. But, let's set the visual impact first."

She grins a teasing grin at me, already believing that most people who don't see me as only beautiful see me as threatening. I consider what she's trying to do as she looks around, then moves. 

I look around, then see what will work. I take his sword and pull it off the belt. Picking up the small chain I've found, I put that through the belt loop on his scabbard, then attach the chain to his sword belt. "Walk." 

I do so and have to fight a blush. Now I clop in my boots and the chain clanks. She nods, now that they'll hear me coming from the deck of the ship, not just down the hall. Won't they just run away before I can scold them?

I take my knife belt off (I wear it under my dress sash as always) and put it on him above his sword belt, then tuck my knife into my sash. (Yeah, he's that thin of a stick, he can wear my belt.) "Do you know what a [pirate] is, Izark?"

I shake my head, not having heard the word yet.

"In this world, are there men who run ships that attack merchant ships, to steal their cargo and run and hide, either to keep it for themselves or to sell it for their own gain?"

I scowl. "Yes. They are called pirates."

I nod and say both words, mine and his. "That's the look I'm going for, Izark. They're feared in all worlds when people are on a ship. You aren't being one. You're being an officer of the peace, but I want the fear of the image of a pirate in their minds by the time you talk to them. If you're a pirate king, you outrank them, since they're pirate scum." I look up at him. "Do you understand? It is [psychological] mind warfare." I point to my temple.

I like that turn of phrase: "mind warfare". I might have to have her teach me the word that came before it. We don't have a word to describe what I've been trying my whole life to do to keep people from wanting to physically fight me. I look down at myself again to see the pirate king.

I summarize to see if I've understood correctly what she's trying to teach. "The image does as much beforehand to create the desired effect, so that the actions have the full effect wanted." I would have liked to have known and practiced this one helpful addition. Many of my fights might have been turned away if I had. It was sufficient, though, I suppose. It wasn't like I could afford extra trinkets just to chase off irritating buffoons.

Izark's understood. "So act like the pirate king from the moment you walk into the hall on the way to that room, so that you have the aura of one by the time you enter it. Be as annoyed as you want to be that the scum who should be obedient to you aren't. Then tell them off, show them they can't best the king, and threaten them if they don't behave from now on."

I grin again. "Be the pirate king who is pretending to be the ship's security officer so he isn't found out that he's on board to take over and they're threatening your plans to take it by butting in where they aren't wanted."

I find it both humorous and a little frightening that she enjoys this kind of play. Particularly when it isn't on a stage, but part of living a real life. To test and tease her, I push back just a little. "You like to pretend, Noriko. Maybe you should be an actress?"

I toss my head and tease him. "I am an actress, Izark, remember? I'm the Fairy Queen, Treasure of the Dragon, Island Princess of the Gallant Knight." Izark suddenly goes serious and I look at him quizzically.

I know she thinks she's teasing, and I suppose she is, but that's what's worried me this whole time. Because I don't rise to the tease, Noriko looks at me quizzically. I reach for her, not sure what I want to say but wanting to convey my concern for her. When my hand is on her shoulder, to hold her in place and to let her know I'm here with her, I ask mind to mind so others can't overhear us, "Noriko. Are you ever you while you're here?" She understands my concern and is instantly sober.

"Izark, in my world I'm a teenage high school student, just trying to get decent [grades], hanging out with my girlfriends around the edges. I would never have done the amazing things I've done with you in this world there. Inside, I'm the same here or there, although I've learned strengths, fears, and worries here I probably wouldn't have learned for many more years there.

"If I were to act the high school student here I would already be dead. I haven't been that since you saved me from the flower insect in the sea of trees. ...I suppose I shouldn't have said I'm an actress. I really am those things here in this world with you, the same as I'm a high school student in my world.

"Except I really am the Awakening and I have to hide behind the other faces because that's how we keep me safe. So if there is ever a time I'm being the ‘me' of this world, it's when I'm researching and practicing to find the world of light and using what little power that gives me. The same as you're only ever really Izark, the Sky Demon, when you're doing the same."

With a sharp breath, I pull back. That was like being stabbed by a blade to have her say that. I'm researching to not have to be the Sky Demon..., but she isn't wrong. I let out the breath slowly, feeling where the truth is. If what we are is the two beings of lore and destiny who don't want to fulfill the dark prophecy, then we are what she's said. It's hard to accept it when said so plainly, but she isn't wrong. I must agree with her. I'm surprised when a gentle scold is next.

"Don't be sad about it Izark. That's not a good way to go through life. I like having fun with it, when I can, although I don't go to extremes. Reading, watching [movies], those things are entertaining and fun. So is acting, or there wouldn't be actors and actresses."

My eyes go wide. She's telling me why she's willing to play the various parts. Not just for survival, not just for hope, but because there can be more if one openly acknowledges what one both is and isn't.

"This is one of your rare opportunities to have fun with it yourself. Be the pirate king to the hilt. Swagger, scowl, intimidate, threaten. You won't even get into trouble for it, because you've been asked to do it -- and are roundabout getting paid for it like a real actor." I give him a wry look for that comment of mine.

"I'll have just as much fun watching and cheering for you, and will reward you afterwards for a job well done. The pirate king always steals the beautiful maiden, after all, and she seduces him to the side of right and good in the end of the most romantic of the movies and stories of pirates."

She gives me a flirtatious look, runs her finger down my jaw, and almost-kisses me, her teasing lips passing tantalizingly near my own. She suddenly has my full attention this time. She can play this part also?

I growl, very low and quietly, and grab her around the waist with my hands, holding her still. I don't know if I can match her, but I want to try for just one moment. I put my lips very near her ear. "You, Princess Noriko, ...are very much a handful. I think ...that I will have to take you to my cave when I return and teach you --" It’s so hard to come up with words to match this play that I have to stop trying and laugh at her and myself. "It's so strange, Noriko ...but I understand."

I'm surprised again when she pauses and continues the lesson most seriously.

"Izark, do you also understand that it's a defense for you? If you act it, you will be it. It will be a shield for you." I push him to look at me in the face.

I know she used it this way, to shield herself from fear.

"Being the Fairy Queen was a way to face the world so that I could have hope. Being the ‘partner' of Izark is a way to face a man with a sword, or a monster, with strength instead of fear."

I point to my mind again. "I may know that I'm pretending, or acting, but when I do it, my body, my heart, my emotions believe it, and react accordingly. They all must be obedient to the mind. My heart may be beating hard and I may be wishing I was somewhere else, but as soon as I force them all to be obedient to what my mind says must be so, then it is so. It's a protection. I'm asking you to protect yourself, not just pretend or be an actor." I look at him earnestly. He may not be able to understand this until he tries it himself, and experiences it.

She's earnest and very concerned that I understand well enough to apply it to myself. She's wanting to protect me, even like this.

But what she's said has captured my mind. I've seen her do it so many times. From the time she lifted me up from the ground to drag me into hiding and defended us with what little strength she had, to every time she uses her scolding eyes and words when she would rather be standing frozen to the ground, unable to utter even one sound. The strength I've had to defend myself has never been the strength to stand up and be. Only to drag myself from day to day, place to place. She's just taught me how to be and become.

The concept swirls in my brain and connects to all the other things I've been meditating on during this voyage and I finally understand what I need to do. I need to become. "If..., if I decide it, in my mind, that I'm a creature of light, even if my heart doesn't believe it, and my doubts threaten to drown me, if I act it ...then I am it?"

Wonder of wonders. How he made that leap, I have no idea. "Yes, Izark. And the more you practice it, the more you are it until there's nothing left of the doubt and all of you believes it because it is so."

Yes. "You've already shown me that."

"What? I have?" When have I ever done that?

She knows only confusion, but then she doesn't watch herself from outside. I blink at her, as I try to pick moments she might be able to see it from. The most recent example comes back to mind.

"When you stand by me and are my protector, my ‘partner' as you described earlier. From the beginning, you were weak and relied on me, but when you became angry and protective in Calco, you changed to be the opposite. It surprised me then, and every time after then. You don't change any more, though. Now you're always that." She tries to work that one out. Finally she nods. Perhaps it was a sufficient example.

I blink and puzzle that one out. It feels a little different to me, but I nod. If he sees it that way, then that's okay.

Izark looks at me for a moment more, then draws himself up to his full height and the pirate king comes onto him like a cloak, slowly wrapping around him until it's set. I curtsy. He gives me just a bit of a twinkle in his eye, then turns and strides towards the room where his work awaits. clop clank, clop clank.

I follow along behind him and the saucy wench comes out. I can't help it, he's being such a good pirate king. I enter the room behind him and flip my hair back, then put my hands on my hips and scowl at the men who need to be taught their lesson, backing Izark up. My strength strengthens the other passengers, and his quiet superiority calms them as he puts the goons in their place.

I take from her courage to make it my own sufficiently that I can practice it this time. If I can practice it for a simple task, perhaps I can learn how to do it for the most important one to me and all the world. I am the pirate king. It's time to put the lesser pirate scum in their place. I stand tall and do everything I can to take on that persona.

When I think I have it sufficiently, Noriko curtsies to me as if I am a king. It is fun when she's here to play with me, and I think I might like this better than the alternative. Even if I don't play the part well, if I can cow them before even reaching them that would be a benefit. I stride with loud clops and clanks for the room the bullies are in. Noriko follows me but I don't look. I'm sure I'll lose my ability to play my role if I do.

I'm surprised when the part I play calms the other passengers. In the past they would have only questioned my presence for being too young or weak. To wear the costume and the aura changes even their perspective of me.

"Swords are prohibited while on board the ship." I don't let the man move it, holding on to his hilt. He's shocked by my strength. "Gambling is banned as well. I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate these dice." I am the pirate king playing the ship's security, being polite, but underneath warning them they've gone too far to destroy my own conquest. I've practiced that, too, but usually it's unheard.

The man yells and threatens me and I give them the display of strength they require, the same as I would give anyone who would threaten me in the past. I throw the dice into the air and slice them in half with my sword drawn too fast for them to see, to show everyone they're hollow. "They're loaded," I purr smoothly and they pale.

I crumble the dice between my fingers into dust and let it sprinkle slowly from my palm onto the table. They step back. "I wonder if I should hand you guys over to the authorities when we reach the port?" I ask as if only to myself, and as if I already plan on it ...if they keep interfering.

"We're sorry sir," they say humbly, sweating now. "We'll stop gambling." I raise an eyebrow at the man holding the sword. "And I'll leave the sword in my room," he promises quickly.

I glare at them one more time to let them know I'll be making sure they obey, then turn and stride out of the room calmly. Noriko is standing before the doorway, her arms folded and an irritated scowl on her face, for having her time with the pirate king interrupted for their silly play. She takes my elbow as I pass her and pridefully walks out the door with me. I ignore her as if she should of course be in that position.

When he decides he's cowed them into full submission and it's safe for him to leave, I take his arm and walk out with him, claiming him as mine and putting in the minds of all the passengers the final picture they need to see of the pirate king being top dog who gets the girl he wants, whenever he wants, and she has to be as strong as he is to get there.

When he's stopped on the way by the sailors who want to thank him, I match him grace for grace, the king and the queen together being perfect partners, although really I would never be able to do it if not for being able to follow his lead, at least not until I had more practice.

It's a position that gives me even more strength soon after, as the ship's crew and captain meet me on my way to thank me for stepping in. I'm given permission to carry my sword with me from then on to make sure the bullies stay quiet. I thank them and between us Noriko and I manage to escape politely back to our room so I can breathe again. I turn to look at this Noriko finally.

I smile at Izark. "Very good, Oberon. You've graduated to Fairy King. I, Titania, Fairy Queen, commend you." I drop the character and grin. "That's their names in Shakespeare's work, anyway. He was a famous playwright in our world and wrote a play about the Fairy King and Fairy Queen."

I raise an eyebrow. "I wasn't the pirate king?"

"Oh, you were." I give him the saucy wench grin, let go of his arm, and step away, swaying my hips as I go making my skirt swirl around my legs. Looking over my shoulder at him as I place my hand on my hip, I add, "But at the end, when you talked to the sailors, you were the Fairy King, so we left that way."

I haven't been able to look away from her, and I am in character now. I purse my lips at her. "Hmmm. I can't decide which one I want to be right now. I've been waiting to graduate from knight to Fairy King for a while now, but I think...," I glide up smoothly to put an arm around her from the side and pull her closer to me with that hand on her free hip. "...I want to know a little more about this one." I narrow my eyes at her and purr, "Who flirts with the pirate king?"

I look him up and down with an appraising raking look. "Really?" I say archly and nimbly step out of his hold. Turning again to look at him from the other side, I give a coy look and tip my head. "You've never seen the [saucy wench]?" I give him full lightly pouty lips. "I don't even know how to say that in your language. If you've never seen it, how am I to explain it?"

Noriko looks me up and down with an appraising raking look and my breath quickens just a little. "Really?" It's said perfectly and archly. She nimbly steps out of my hold. Turning again to look at me from the other side, she tips her head and gives me a coy look. "You've never seen the [saucy wench]?" She goes all the way and gives me full lightly pouty lips. "I don't even know how to say that in your language. If you've never seen it, how am I to explain it?"

She really has asked for it. Before I can go any further, things need to come off. Things that are in the way. I look down to keep my stern demeanor and deliberately take off her belt, then my sword belt, and then the boots. I set the belts and sword on the table and the boots under it, still moving deliberately, drawing out the suspense and keeping to the role of pirate king who's in control.

Then I move very quickly to trap Noriko very close to me, my hands holding her at the waist. I've surprised her, but she waits for it. "I think I'm ready for my reward now, saucy wench."

I lean down and nibble at her ear and head farther down to nip at her neck, then steal her sash and knife as I allow her to scold and escape so I can trap her again. I'm in heaven at receiving this reward. She can play the woman I've always wanted to have the courage to seduce and given me the persona that would of course seduce her.

Inside I'm gaping at him. Who knew Izark had a fetish? He must really enjoy flirting. We have fun pretending for some time after that.

Chapter Text

Donya, near the coast, is rolling grassy hills, although you can tell even here it's sandy. We've traveled south by ship and it's warmer here. The farther we get from the sea shore, the dryer the air becomes.

I'm thinking this would be the place I might wish I had my lip gloss still. Not that I would have it. Those bags are two countries north of here. I wonder when we'll be able to get back and pick them up, and just how long that mayor will hold on to them for us. Speaking of which, I ask Izark if mail is a thing around here and if we can send her a letter asking her to hold on to them for us.

Noriko comes to me and asks if it's possible to send written messages from place to place. It's most frequently done by giving a message to a seer and having them contact a seer in the town you need the message delivered in. There is the rare messenger who'll take secret messages by hand.

When she asks if we can send a message to the mayor of the flower town and ask her to hold on to our things for us, I agree. It would be good for them to know we're still living if they still have our things. I reassure Noriko we'll take care of it at the next town we come to.

At the moment, we're practicing teleporting with the chimos while we're in open fields. The babies are weaned now and old enough to help us, so each of us now has a chimo on our shoulders. I've asked for a female. They don't look quite so much like rabid rodents as the males do. I've never been fond of rodents for pets. They carried the black plague through Europe for generations, after all, harboring the fleas that passed the disease from person to person. I hope there isn't anything like that here, although I've already handled that, I hope.

Everyone has teleported their first distance, except me. Izark and Doros are trying to help me, but to go from here to Glocia, Niana, and Alef isn't working out too well. I get the concept. Picture where you want to be in your head, request it of the chimos (they work by level of desire), and "poof" you're there. I keep seeing myself reappearing inside Glocia, an arm inside Niana. That's not working for me or the chimo.

"It's okay, Geena," I put my hand kindly on her head to help her calm. "Just relax. Take your time -- we're not in a hurry."

I look up at him with a slightly peeved look. "That isn't it. I'm both too logical, and it's the wrong order." He furrows his brow. "You go first," I say and cross my arms. He gets just a tiny bit antsy. "See? Follow that feeling."

Huh? I go back to her comment again, and then remember. She always runs to me. To ask her to leave my side makes her too nervous, unsure of herself. I also tend to feel that way in situations that aren't certain. Too many times we've gotten into trouble when we weren't by each other's sides. "Oh."

"Yeah," I nod. "I could go half-way around the world to get to you. I can't leave you." Everyone blushes. "Oh, stuff it," I scowl at them all. "You already know I'm attached to him. Go, Kizak." I jerk my head at the others.

That didn't help me, but I go, not wanting any more scolding or embarrassment. Almost as soon as I arrive next to Alef, Noriko is next to me and still talking.

I release the constant need I have to be next to Izark and am next to him again in a flash. "I could make five chimos move me, without touching them, if it's to be next to you, Kizak. I've known that since Barago first caught me in the air as I fell from the wall. I just didn't know that what I already knew was correct."

Alef chokes back laugh and Noriko glares at him from the side of her eyes. I hold back my own reaction with everything I've got and only nod solicitously in agreement. Even Glocia is careful to avert her eyes this time. Niana pats Noriko on the back. "Congratulation, dear." That helps diffuse some of Noriko's ire. Doros appears with us.

"I'll practice going to Kizak a few more times, then I might be comfortable enough to go to other people and places," I promise. "This kind of thing is currently unsettling for me."

I think it will take at least that long for me to get comfortable with having her chase me around this way. It's also true in the reverse, though. Since we all have to practice visualizing a place to appear, not just people to appear next to, when she goes first I appear first by her side even a second or two before the rest.

Since even this kind of thing uses energy, although it isn't as bad at the short distances as at the long ones where at least two people are required to synchronize to not collapse upon arrival, we only practice using the chimos briefly every now and again and walk for the rest of the time.

I'm relieved Noriko's feet are toughened up this time. We were on our feet all the time while helping with the harvest and she didn't have access to her other-world shoes. Our travels are cheerful since she and Glocia chat -- as long as it isn't about where Noriko came from -- and Niana is always full of optimism.

During one practice in using the chimos, Irktule shows up with several of his spirit friends. "Irktule! How is my family in Ennamarna?" Niana is excited to see him. The spirits went to Ennamarna as soon as we were on the western continent and came back to let us know Duke Jeida and his companions were indeed there.

Irktule floats down to join us and his expression is somber. "Niana," he bows his head a bit, "Noriko, the people of Ennamarna are in trouble." We cluster around him.

Irktule tells us that the government of Donya wants to invade another country on the other side of the desert, and they want to use Ennamarna as a base of operations. The mayor of Ennamarna has refused and the government is applying sanctions, cutting the city off from supplies from the rest of the country to get them to comply.

Already the government is gathering their army at the edge of the desert in preparations for the march to Yansk. They're between us and where we want to go. We look at each other, worried, but Glocia is determined to continue on.

We arrive in one of the towns near the desert and the news of the city is that the army has already begun to march. Alef is finally serious and is resistant to allowing Glocia and Niana to go on to Ennamarna. It's his responsibility to see to their safety, and that way is no longer safe unless we do the long distance synchronizations which has its own inherent possible dangers.

I'm paying attention to the crowd around us, which feels a bit too much like Steny did. Noriko is looking longingly at a booth of blank books, ink, and pens, which we have yet to be able to replace. Suddenly Glocia swears. We've lost Niana again. "We'll go," Alef says, sounding nervous. He and Glocia go together.

We've worked out a plan already on our way here to keep us all safe, since that's what the chimos are for. Doros follows after them, keeping both them and us in sight. I don't let Doros get too far out of sight either. Noriko is holding on to my jacket as always, and letting me guide her feet. She's looking for safe places to hide where we can meet up with her.

Of course, it happens. "Kizak! Roki's in trouble!" Doros calls. I call a chimo to me from his basket and teleport up to a second level part of town, in an alley. (I discovered I could call them to me after making that odd comment to Izark the other day.)

She and I can call them to us, we discovered. Doros thinks it's because we are so determined to stay together. As soon as she's let go of me, I leap up to the top of a roof.

A group of martial arts students with swords is surrounding Alef and the de Gilenees. Three of them have hands on the ladies. The rest have cut Alef off from helping them. I jump down to get Alef free. I slam the men around him with my bag, making them fly back. Then I get Alef turned the right way so he can see the ladies.

The men holding the ladies threaten to harm them if we attack. I leap into the air and land behind them before they can see where I went. With a slam, I've knocked all their heads together and they fall to the ground. I take one arm of each of the ladies and push us forward to stand with Alef.

Together Noriko and I worked out a smoke--screen so that people wouldn't be able to see a whole group disappear using chimos. As soon as we're clustered together, I throw the smoke bomb to the ground. Doros teleports to us, passes out chimos, and we're headed for Noriko.

As usual, I get to Noriko first, glad to have the chimos to help me get to her wherever she may be, and glad to see she's safe in a back alley where no one seems to be around. When the others appear, we immediately begin discussing how to get out of the town.

A woman calls, "Here they are, up here!"

Glocia looks up. "Bah. That's a maid from before. She knows."

"We'll have to synchronize," Doros says. The ladies give Doros back their chimos and hold on to us men: Noriko and I, Glocia and Alef, Niana and Doros. "When I say ‘go' focus all your attention on me," Doros instructs. We haven't done it before, but we have talked about it, so we have some idea what to do and now the motivation to do it.

Doros puts out a fist and Alef and I put our hands on top of his fist, holding on. We all take a deep breath and Doros says "go". I focus on him with all my might. The town disappears and in another second an open field appears around us.

I hope he took us closer to Ennamarna, not farther. 

With a slow blink, Doros comments, "Hey, I'm not tired."

"Nope!" We look up. Irktule is above us, as are the spirits. "Congratulations! Shall we do that again?"

We blink at him. "What?"

"You can do that again and get to Ennamarna." Irktule says cheerily.

"Wait a minute," Alef says. "We weren't going to do that until we were at the desert."

"Well, now you've been seen and you may be chased. If you go straight there, you won't have to worry about it, right?"

Irktule is oddly being as vague as Alef. There is more to this: a reason he wants us to go and he doesn't want to give me away (even though he never could call us by our false names). "...And the army's reached Ennamarna," I say it for him coolly, crossing my arms. I may not have a choice but to give it away in the end, and all of our companions from before already know anyway.

Irktule is suddenly sober. "Yes, Izark. The army has arrived at Ennamarna. They have catapults, flaming arrows, very tall towers, and explosives. They will destroy the farm fields inside the fortress and overtake it without too much trouble. ...But you can prevent it."

Alef blinks, looking between Irktule and me. I refuse to look at him and agree with Irktule. Alef doesn't need to know why right now. As Glocia also likes the idea, Alef is distracted by trying to argue with her since he's still against it.

I know Izark can do it ...and he'll want to do it without me. That makes me sigh. He should know by now that I'd rather go with him. I decide to argue it this time, and take it to the internal talking and emotional level while the others argue the merits of going now.

I'm surprised when Noriko talks to me silently. In her case, she argues that she should be allowed to go with me against the army when I go. She uses her fear, worry, and determination to protect me as emotional weapons to go along with her words. This time, I refuse. I can take care of the army, but not if I'm also worried about her safety. If I leave her in the city while the army is far enough away, she will never face any danger.

In the end, both Noriko and Alef are pouting a bit. Glocia and I stand firm and put an end to the arguing. Niana and Doros look between Alef and Noriko, wondering what happened to make them be on the same side, since they didn't hear Noriko and my argument and they almost never agree directly on any issue. Really, the two of them fight like I would imagine a brother and sister would fight.

We get into our synchronous positions again, and focus on Doros. He focuses on Irktule who will lead us to Ennamarna. We'll have to jump twice more, so we just keep the focus going until we finally stop moving and there's stillness around us.

It's now very hot and very dry. We look up and see around us tall sandstone walls with many holes in them that are surely windows. There's a well nearby and some yellow desert grass under our feet.

As Noriko and I turn to look around behind us, we hear a cry. "Izark! Noriko!" Our eyes go to the person running towards us. It's Gaya, her face beaming with the same joy she welcomed me with when we arrived at her store. I try to back up, but Gaya has us both in a double hug before I can move very far, one arm around each of us, holding us close to her. "Oh, how I've missed you two!" she cries.

I put my arm around her. "We've missed you, too, Aunt Gaya." I hold her tightly. I really have, and her greeting, so happy and honest has made my heart open up. It was exactly the kind of greeting Izark needed, and thus me, too. No rejection at all.

I'm not sure how to handle the greeting and look around at everyone else. All of our companions are here and there are no distrustful or angry faces. They all seem genuinely happy to see us again. It's hard for me to process not having any rejection at all. 

I send a quiet emotional message to Izark of, "See..., here is the acceptance, the joy. Please don't worry." 

I take a breath and send back a feeling of trust. I’ll try to trust her, her words from before, and what I’m seeing with my own eyes, even though my heart wants to hold back against what may yet still happen.

I also remember that what I want to be is how I should act, and I do want all of these to be my friends and stay my comrades. I’ll act that way for now. If they dislike it, they’ll surely let me know. I suddenly remember that was how I managed to face them before in Selina, Guzena, after they saw me transform. I was only able to face them as the lord of the manor. Even I've played parts before to make it through difficult times.

Zena tells us she saw us coming, as did Geena, who is holding tightly to Agol's hand. He's smiling at us as well, and looks more relaxed than when we saw him last. The girls, Anita and Rottenina, are excited to see us, and begin to chatter away with Noriko, who's happy to see them as well.

There's a cry and a thud. Niana has knocked down Duke Jeida in her enthusiasm at seeing her husband again. That's a long time and I sympathize. Glocia is greeting her brothers, and Banadam is welcoming Alef, having served under him.

We've managed to bring everyone together. I have no idea why this particular grouping of people is so important to the world of light, that it would ask the Sky Demon and Awakening to help them all come together like this, but I'm glad we were able to do it properly.

Noriko slips her hand into mine and squeezes it just as Barago shows up at my shoulder to comment on the chimo on my shoulder. It hisses at him and I calm it. Agol moves past us to kindly go speak to Doros, who's the only one who doesn't know anyone here.

Things calm down after a bit and a throat is cleared. Calm descends and we turn to look. There's a man looking like a 1960's beatnik crossed with a lion standing in the field surrounded by others watching our reunion. "Welcome to Ennamarna. I'm the mayor, Mardwoog. I greet you on behalf of the citizens of Ennamarna."

Without knowing what I'm doing, I look at him and smile. "Thank you, Mayor Mardwoog." I can feel his light and the light of this place dancing with my own light. I feel like I've come home. He looks at me for a moment, then a small smile comes on his lips. He's recognized a fellow seeker of the world of light.

Izark is staring at me and it takes me a moment to realize it's because I've chosen to be spokesperson for all the rest of us for the first time ever. I blush, but don't back down. I've never felt this strong and sure before, except when I first gathered the light into me in the wagon with Doctor Clairgeeta.

Before any of the rest of us can move, Noriko smiles. "Thank you, Mayor Mardwoog." He looks at Noriko for a moment, then a small smile comes on his lips. Somehow, when he does that, he seems to be like Doctor Clairgeeta. Does he also know of the world of light? 

But even more, I'm staring at Noriko. That is the first time ever she's stepped forward and spoken up for any of us unless it was to protect me with a scold. When she realizes what she's done, she blushes, but still she stands firm and confident like I've only seen on rare occasions.

She's come to a place that she recognizes, even though she's never been here before. She knows. She knows that here is the answer we seek. I relax and give my quiet thanks as well. If we can be welcomed even so briefly as for us to find that answer, then it will be enough.

The citizens of Ennamarna are as kind and welcoming to us as our comrades and the mayor. They give us quarters with our comrades from the first journey. Niana and Glocia go with Duke Jeida, who thanks us for safely bringing them to him. Alef goes with Banadam, who is staying near the Grand Duke.

We take Doros with us and Barago adopts him pretty quickly, which overwhelms Doros, but also makes him blush warmly in happiness to be included with everyone so easily. That isn't a small thing to him. I'm glad to see it as it also gives me just a little more hope for myself.

We're directed to the baths, public underground heated pools separated by sex. Noriko's extremely excited by that one small thing, which makes me smile. I'm glad she didn't dive into the first cave river like she did into the river when she was ill. I'm not sure I would have been able to fish her out.

I admonish her not to try it here and she laughs at me. It isn't that deep. I complain that it's just as deep as the river I healed her with. She patronizingly reassures me she won't. She's only thrilled to be able to get clean any day she wants. While I don't understand, I'm willing to settle if that's what it is. 

When we're clean and refreshed, they direct us to a larger upper room where they tell us they've put food and a restorative tea for us to eat and drink while we sit and visit with our companions. They tell us on the way that Zena uses it as her scrying room.

They have a minor seer for the city, but he was willing to give it up to her since she's a stronger seer and she wanted to research the records contained in the room. That gets Noriko's interest and mine. If they're the records Doctor Clairgeeta used in his research then perhaps Zena already has some knowledge she can tell us.

We are shuffled off to the baths, public heated pools separated by sex, which makes them like a vacation spot for me. I'm going to use them lots, if I can. Only getting to bathe every once a week or so has been hard. The citizens prepare a meeting room for us. Well, they prepare Zena's scrying room apparently, but they put out cushions for us and prepare food and restorative tea (finally, no alcohol), then leave us alone to catch up.

Their kindness touches me and I have to wonder just how much they were told by our friends who arrived before we did. Do they already know what Izark and I are and don't care? Or are they just always so open and caring?

I'm not sure about all of this friendly reception we're getting. When we're finally sitting down, with Noriko and I put in the head seats of this circle of plush cushions, I lean over to Gaya who's sitting next to me. I can trust her with my small courage, since she's already taught me she wants to protect me. "Do the citizens know?" I ask in a whisper.

Gaya smiles at me. "No. They're always like this. It's a nice place to live. Everyone is friendly and kind here."

I nod and Noriko relaxes. She also must have been wondering. The room goes quiet, now that we're settled and have food in front of us. As the atmosphere fills up with expectation, Noriko looks at me. Kindly she asks, "Do you want me to tell, or do you want to?"

I look back at her. "I think there are things I need to tell ...but do you want to start?" If I can see how they react to her story, I'll know better how to be. And if they're kind, I'll have that much more courage to say what I need to say. Besides, she loves to tell stories.

My eyes light up. I really do. He gives his hidden grin to me and I wiggle in my seat. There's a laugh and I look up surprised. There are eyes, happy eyes, looking at me. I grin. "He says I get to start. Are you ready for story time?"

Now there are grins, although our newest companions, Niana, Glocia, and Alef are more looking curious. Agol holds up a hand and sends Banadam and Alef to stand guard on the door to make sure none of the city hear what we have to say, and I'm grateful. It helps me relax just a little more. They take their plates with them so they can still hear and eat. Agol makes a better military commander than Alef, and I wonder if he was one. His fighting skills are at that level.

"Once upon a time," I begin, "there was a school--girl in another world that was suddenly dragged from her world to a world that only existed in the stuff of dreams and story books. When she arrived, she woke to find herself on a bed of soft golden moss under the largest tree she had ever seen. The world was still and had no one in it she knew. Frightened, she called for her mother and father, but instead of finding the way home, or the ones she loved, she had called a flower monster.

"Just as it was about to eat her, a man rescued her and killed the monster. Terrified, she ran to the man and held him as if holding on to life itself, her panic overwhelming her for some time. The man, a complete stranger, was extremely patient and waited for her to calm down, his warmth and presence being enough to bring her to a sense of calm ...and shame at being so forward with a kind stranger. Of course, her noise and the dead monster drew other monsters, so he had to continue to rescue her until they came out of the sea of trees by a secret way."

That's enough for them all to know who we are. Niana's eyes are going wide and Glocia has frozen. They've heard us called by our real names here, but they still didn't know until now. Duke Jeida takes hold of Niana's hand and gives her a comforting look. One of Glocia's brothers has his hand on her shoulder and the other is nodding calmly. Glocia slowly relaxes. Niana's look goes from surprise to slight worry, but it doesn't look fearful.

When I glance at Alef, he's as surprised as the ladies, but Banadam is waving a hand at him to calm him down, ...and he's still looking disappointed. He needs to give that up. The rest aren't surprised at all, but they aren't saying anything yet.

I stop and smile. "This is the true beginning of how Izark and I met. I'm from another world. I did not come by my own free will and choice, but was claimed by the world of light and brought here to teach Izark how to find the world of light. We've been seeking it ever since I came. We're nearly done with our search. Here, in Ennamarna, we will learn the last thing we have to learn.

"Our search led us through many places and, somehow, all of you became caught up in our story. Some of you we've brought together who were separated," I look at Duke Jeida and his family and guards. "Some of you we've helped and you have helped us." I look at Doros, Barago, Agol, Gaya, and Zena.

"We're grateful that you've welcomed us again kindly. Our trials have been as great as your help and aid have been. Izark and I were captured by the Source of All Evil, but Doros helped us escape. We know we'll have to face it again, and the man who is its hands on this world: Rachef."

Agol reacts very badly at hearing that name and I look at him, still wondering at how he came to be in this group, other than because Noriko fell in his lap to be protected by him, which I'm still grateful for. Noriko smiles at Agol to reassure him. That's right. She said that he may have known from before. Maybe Rachef sent him to look for us, and asked him to use Geena to help him.

"When we escaped the Source of All Evil, Izark transformed for the first, and so far only time into his form of light. Because he wasn't prepared for the lesson and he'd been so badly wounded, he can't remember how it happened. We've been searching for that understanding since then.

"We are near to understanding it. We've come from rescuing Doctor Clairgeeta, the foremost authority on the legends of the world of light, from the fate of death. He's taught us what we need to know to continue our search. He sent us here, to read the writings of this place." 

I pause again, then say very soberly, "It's now a race against time. Rachef and his weapon, a man whom he's been training to be as strong as Izark and who hates him, are surely near to finding us again. We've learned that when light and hope are given to us, it is either in reward for the good we do for others, or it's because we're being given the encouragement we need to walk through another difficult time of sorrow and pain.

"The final fight with the Source of All Evil will be very difficult. If we can survive it," I look at Izark, "we will fight all the evil in this world with light until it's beaten back again." 

Her conviction rings through the room. It is now my turn.

I turn to face everyone and speak honestly, to my friends because I want them to be my friends and help me one more time. "I've been taught my whole life the same prophecy that everyone else has. Only when Noriko looked at me with innocent and clear eyes and told me that I was good and kind and could never be evil had the thought ever entered into me that I might not have to be what I feared most to become.

"I went to the sea of trees to destroy the Awakening. I couldn't do it. How could I kill an innocent girl who knew nothing of this world or the prophecy, and only had the desire to return to her home? She didn't come to destroy me, or this world. The longer she was with me, the more I realized that she had come to save, but I was still confused. Zena's words helped me to have even more hope," I nod my gratitude to her and she blushes slightly.

"But it was the recognition that I was more than the Sky Demon of legend as I was nearing both death and being taken and used by the Source of All Evil in his buried castle, just before Noriko rescued me, that made me have the courage to really fight for myself and all that I wanted to do and be. Hearing Doctor Clairgeeta's words lifted me even further and now I walk the path to find the being of light that I really am.

"I'm still often doubtful and afraid, but Noriko's constant strength and surety is my anchor and my beacon. Her purpose, as the Awakening, has been to awaken me to my goodness and to the world of light, not to bring me to darkness and destruction. I am grateful ...and I love her. A demon of destruction cannot love. I am not the Sky Demon of Destruction of the prophecy of darkness."

I look at Noriko. "When Rachef and Keimos come again, they will not have their way. Noriko will open the door to the world of light and the light will sweep away their darkness." I look back at everyone again, entreating them. "Please help me protect Noriko until we can find the door so we can win."

The room is silent for a moment, then Agol bows his head. "Noriko has already seen it, though I don't know how. I was sent by Rachef to find the Sky Demon and the Awakening at the beginning at the sea of trees with his soldiers, and with Keimos.

"I didn't know until just now how evil they were, although Keimos has always taken delight in killing -- violently. I know how relentless he has likely been in hunting you, Izark, and in his delight to be even stronger until he can some day best you. He is a frightening man.

"Geena has always been afraid of Rachef as well. When Keimos was retrieved wounded by Rachef, he told Rachef he'd fought with you near Calco. I was sent, with Geena, to find out more about you. There I heard the story of the two of you and the capture of the bandits at nearly the expense of your lives. I first began to have my doubts then."

He looks up and smiles at Noriko. "When you landed in my lap, I thought I was helping a simple girl."

"You were," I say quietly with a smile.

"And when you told me your name at Gaya's house I couldn't believe that one of the two people I had been looking for suddenly had appeared -- literally landing in my lap and bringing me to her home. All I could see was the same simple girl I'd saved. Only your special connection to Izark and the fact you could see Irktule made you remotely different.

"It was Izark's relationship with you that made you different. His need to have you near, and your calm patience with him. He was ...is ...so strong, it was difficult to understand why he needed you, a simple and weak girl, by his side all the time."

Agol takes a breath and runs his hand through his hair. "When he transformed in Selina, Guzena, it was shocking, but when I thought about it I realized that only love would have made him do that. When they told me it had been after the woman said you'd been taken to your death, I understood that perfectly. I would have defended my wife to the death from her death if I could have, even if I had to announce to the world that I was a monster."

He looks sadly at his daughter, taking her hand in his and she looks at him with a smile to comfort him. He smiles back at her, even though she can't see it. "When I realized this about Izark," he looks back up at me, who is sitting here with my heart in my throat, hoping he doesn't want to still kill me, somehow amazed that it sounds like he doesn't, "I couldn't believe the prophecy any longer.

"I'd already decided I wouldn't return to Reinka to tell Rachef what I discovered. I agree that a monster of destruction can't love. I'll support you. Noriko's worth protecting." Noriko blushes and I sit astounded as nods go around the room. Everyone has had the time to consider what they saw as they walked with us and has decided that we aren't evil.

I blush as nods go around the room. I've done nothing to deserve their kind regard.

"Izark," Zena says thoughtfully, "I've been watching you, although I didn't know it was you." She turns and points to a black mirror on a low table nearby. "This mirror has been in the possession of the Ennemarnians for many, many generations. Mayor Mardwoog says it's always been black.

"The day you discovered the light inside you, there were flecks of light in it for the first time in his understanding. Since then, I've been watching that light becoming stronger and stronger, more and more cohesive."

She rises. "Mayor Mardwoog has also told me about the Legend of Light that Doctor Clairgeeta has likely told you, that there will be a great force of good that will arise to fight a great force of evil that will enter the world. That with the help of companions and love, that force of light will overcome the evil and restore peace to the world."

Noriko and I both blink, not having heard this legend before. All of my being cries out to hear it, to have heard it when I was still a child. Zena walks to a bookshelf carved into the rock wall of the room and I can't take my eyes off of her.

Hunting through the books she finally pulls down one that is very old, very yellowed. "This book is apocryphal. It contains the legend of darkness. It tells of a man, a priest, who gained great strength and ruled behind many rulers, extending his life many generations. With his four faithful followers, he ruled with terror and darkness upon the whole face of the land."

She looks up at us. "Finally, he couldn't extend his life any longer, though he'd created great moonstones to amplify his power. Over a very short amount of time, his flesh dissolved and his body decayed and died. But his evil spirit remained, buried with his castle when the power released by his death caused volcanoes to erupt under and near it.

"...If the Source of All Evil brought you to him in a buried castle, then that is this evil man's spirit. I suspect he is desirous of walking the earth again and once again living as he did before. Perhaps he wants you to take your power, strength, and body and make them his own.

"He has found a man who is like him, Rachef, to begin his works, to again be someone he can stand behind and rule the world with an iron fist of darkness. You are not like him. You are not evil.

"Do you understand? This is the time of the prophecy of light. He is the evil that has come, and you are the force of good that will stand to prevent him and bring peace to the world again. I have no doubt that the world of light will open its door for you eventually. Noriko, as the Awakening will lead you to that door."

Noriko and I are astonished. Before I can even process what she's said, other than to know that by those prophecies I'm not what is said today, and am instead what I believe I am, what Noriko knows I am, Gaya says, "Izark, you've always looked towards the light. I've never doubted that. You can't be the Sky Demon of darkness." Many of our friends are in agreement with her: Banadam, Barago, the brothers, the girls, Doros.

"For Izark to withstand the power of the Source of Evil..., perhaps it didn't believe that anyone could resist the temptation of such power as is contained in the Sky Demon. But Izark did, and has," Duke Jeida says in his careful, thoughtful voice. Agol nods his agreement.

Glocia stands, her usual intensity rising to the surface. "I -- I also believe it. We've traveled with you, and you've helped us so much, in ways I can't repay. I can say you aren't what people are afraid of at all. Of that I'm sure."

Niana nods her head enthusiastically. "Yup! You couldn't be evil." Alef nods his head as well.

One of the things Doctor Clairgeeta told us on the journey was, "Though they're shapeless and invisible, men's feelings have great power." Like Noriko's feelings that anchor her, the feelings of these who've traveled with us, seen me as I am, expressed now today, hold me in warmth and touch my heart. My remaining doubts begin to melt and drift away.

At this moment, when what Izark needs most to believe in himself is the feelings and words of others who believe as I do, I think I might understand Doctor Clairgeeta's words. I feel Izark's heart healing, opening, and his fears and doubts diminishing.

There are too many witnesses to me tonight that what I cannot see is seen by others: I am good. I bow my head in humility that so many would judge me thus rather than evil.

Tears drip from my eyes, tears of gratitude: for our friends and companions, and for the world of light that has given him this gift.

Chapter Text

Noriko spent most of the night in Zena's scrying room, reading from the texts there that tell the story of the legend of light, recount the history of Ennamarna, and contain the records of the world of light. She was frustrated that reading is still slow for her since we've had little access to books until now. I read the legend of light with her, wanting very much to know what it said.

There will come a day, it said, when great evil will rise up to take over the whole earth. It would, save there shall be born one who will be called a son of the light. Darkness shall cover his mind until the world of light brings into his life one who will part the curtains of darkness through great love and compassion. They shall walk the path together to the world of light. When the time for battle comes, they shall together step through the door into the world of light.

Well, it wasn't new to us. We've already nearly walked the whole thing. I just wish that the evil that creates the darkness that is over our world hadn't hidden the legend of light away. I would have lived my life with a lot more hope to begin with.

However, both the commentary after the recording of the legend and Noriko pointed out that if I hadn't walked in darkness to begin with it wasn't likely I would have needed her or her love from the beginning. She could have stayed home with her family is how I see it, even if I have fallen in love with her. She wouldn't have had to live as painful a life as I've lived.

The other point that they both gently made was that because I understand the darkness, having walked in it and rejected it my whole life, I've learned the compassion that gives me the strength to stand and defend those who can't defend themselves. That I can't argue with.

I stayed with Noriko while she kept reading, but she was stubborn and would only let me help her with the difficult words. She learned the ones she didn't know very quickly, even more quickly than she learned to speak the language. She said that she remembers what she sees much more quickly than what she hears.

When it looked like she would read through the entire night and get no sleep at all, I made her sleep during my sleep time. That much is a minimum for her and our friends will expect us to be up with them during the day to be properly introduced to the city council, at least. They may even try to introduce us to the whole city, but I think that may be a bit much given how little Noriko slept.

I spent my night hours meditating on the events of the afternoon and evening. I feel so much calmer, and like all or nearly-all of the rocks in my stomach have melted away finally. While I perhaps don't have full confidence I can walk in the light, I'm not afraid to any longer. It was enough for this night to bask in the peace of knowing that I am good. When it's time, I'll be able to walk through the door into the world of light with Noriko.

The city council chamber is like all the rooms in this place: rough-hewn from the rock that makes up the high stone walls of the city. All of the rooms interconnect with long hallways and stairs in sometimes odd places. Sometimes the rooms are the hallways. It's odd construction, but humans have made do with whatever shelter they can find or make for millennia. This room is large to hold the people who come.

The mayor sits in the head seat with the councilors and advisors sitting behind him and around to his side. Any one of the citizens of the city who wish can come to the council meetings. They sit on the floor in the center of the room or stand where they may. There are benches and chairs around the edges of the room which seem to be reserved for the elderly and for special guests.

Duke Jeida is one of the special guests who's hiding in refuge here. Ennemarna has agreed to protect those good statesmen who've been banished from their countries. Also here are Premier Nash of Donya itself and Ministers Enri and Kainowa of Guzena.

Barago, Agol, and Gaya told me that they'd been talking of searching for others when Geena came and told them that the spirits of the White Mist Forest had been visiting with her and had been showing her the six of us who'd begun to travel to reach this place. Zena had only been able to confirm that a light was approaching, and hadn't seen anything to indicate they should leave the city, nor where they would go look if they did. So they'd been waiting.

The two seers had known that morning we'd be arriving when we did and everyone had gathered in the center of the city to wait for us to arrive. Now we're all wondering what's next. They weren't surprised to hear the army was on the march and close. They'd been keeping an eye on them, too.

It's the next morning and we've finally had restful sleep again -- well except me. I'm hopefully optimistic, although I know there's still work to be done.

Our friends start the day by taking us to the city council meeting, held in one of the many rooms hewn out of the tall stone wall that surrounds the central fields, saying they go every day as guests. Izark and I stand in the back near our friends. As everyone is getting settled, a messenger runs into the room, stopping in front of the mayor, who's sitting in the main seat in front of everyone.

"Mayor Mardwoog," he says, a bit breathlessly, "the messengers of the army of Donya have just come to the gate and issued an ultimatum. The army will be arriving tomorrow. If we surrender, we're to have the gates open to let them in when they arrive. If the gates aren't open, they'll consider it a refusal to comply and they'll attack the city."

The council chamber goes very still, then explodes into complaints against the army and the government of Donya, but there are no words of surrender, no pleas to the Mayor to reconsider his position. A debate ensues as to how it will be best to defend the city and the innocent children, women and elderly, and their honored guests, with whom they seem to be including Noriko and me.

For all that the citizens could be killed or injured, they won't bow to the corrupt officials in their government. They're indeed strong willed. Voices of the guests of the city and council from near where we stand are also adding their comments to the proceedings.

Koriki, the hotheaded brother, is saying that he'll stand with those who'll fight to protect the city. Rontarna's voice calls for negotiations or clandestine solutions. Even the older men add in calm advice and words of wisdom. It seems they've also adopted this city as their own.

I reach for Izark's hand, thoughts and ideas forming in my head. Together, we reach a mutual moment and move to walk up to stand in front of the mayor. I know Izark wouldn't do this in public by himself, but I believe that in order to protect him and have the best result, the council should be used for the purpose it was created for.

Noriko lets go of my hand and clasps her hands lightly together in front of her. Her voice is calm and soft, and contains the surety of the courage and knowledge of the Teacher. The room falls silent -- even our friends. They're surprised to see the strength she has earned. 

"Mayor Mardwoog. We have not come here innocently."

The room goes a bit tense. In the already charged atmosphere that was perhaps not the best word choice, but she isn't perfect -- just very intelligent. It certainly got everyone's attention.

"We were informed that the army was coming and came quickly to arrive before them. Please hear our words and let your words and the words of your council direct us." Mayor Mardwoog gives us permission to have the floor.

I turn to the council, Izark silently with me, trusting me in this. He's learned that when I'm like this, it's to protect him, and my words have so far been words he can trust and that have helped him. With gratitude to him I'm careful with my words, now that they'll be publicly spoken.

"If possible, we would help the citizens of Ennemarna do away with this threat without injury to anyone in the city, or even property damage. We would even see the army sent away without injury to them as well, if at all possible." People are looking at me with complete disbelief.

I smile a little. "It is possible. You have the legends of light here in this place. Tell me, what do those legends say that can be of use in your defense?" I sat up most of the night reading. I know some of the ones I want them to say, but they must say them, and there are surely more that I haven't read or aren't written down.

An older man says, "The city of Ennamarna is said to be a city blessed and protected -- a holy place protected by the divine. Many of the people of Donya believe this, or have believed it in the past. It's because of it being the City of Light."

I press them for more details. "Are there specific things that have been written or passed down of how or in what way it was protected before?"

His brow furrows, and many others are considering the question. Answers begin to be said from around the council. "A demon will rise up from the sands and devour the people."

"The spirits of the dead will whisper death in the ears of those who turn from the path of light and attack the city."

"The warriors of the mist will come with great spears and defend the city for the people of the city so they don't have to defend themselves."

"Great sandstorms and confusion will come upon the armies that come against the city of Ennamarna, so that they can't even find the city, but are lost in the desert to wander until they die of thirst."

"A shield of light will protect the city so that their enemies can't enter it, but are repelled by truth and determination."

"If the citizens of the city stand firm in their conviction for truth and light, then they can't be overcome."

"A gentle heart and a love of service to all will bear the fruits of peace." 

At this last I look at the speaker, then at Gaya, remembering I want to ask her if the Grey Bird founder knew of the world of light.

After a few more suggestions I hold up my hand. "That's sufficient for now. Thank you." I pause, then bow to the council. "Thank you also, for your gentle hearts and service towards us since we came yesterday. If you will allow us, we will bring to you the fruits of peace." I look at Izark. "Is that sufficient for you to work with?"

The room is in stunned silence, not quite comprehending what I've just asked Izark. I know he can do whirlwinds of confusion and create chaos, and probably whisperings of spirits. I'm not sure about the demon, unless it's him. The same with the shield of light, but if the army doesn't even get this far, that part may not be needed.

The room is in confused silence, still not having heard the final sum. She does like to hold it until the very last, much like a statesman or lawyer, which is why I tease her she should become one. I think of the various methods that were said, then say it to make sure I understand her conclusion, "Use the legends to create fear ...like on the ship." Noriko indicates I've reached understanding.

I turn to Mayor Mardwoog. "I've been gifted with special powers. I can use the legends against the army, to cause them to fear coming against the city. Let me go to them and see if I can make them leave the desert and return home. At dawn, I'll make them believe those legends have come true because they chose to come against Ennamarna. Perhaps they will run in fear and you won't have to fight them. Even if I can only chase off a portion of them, it will be that many less that the city will have to face." It's too much to ask the council to believe a single man can chase away an entire army, even with special powers, but they don't need to know what I am.

The mayor looks at us, wondering who the newest guests of his city are. "You're a wandering swordsman?" he asks me.

"Yes," I answer calmly.

"What price would you ask from the city to defend it by yourself against an army? Surely such a feat would be even more expensive than a city could afford, I would think." He's testing me. I've said before it happens frequently. Those I ask to hire me look at a thin young man and don't think "strong".

I'm surprised it was turned so quickly into a business transaction, but I hold my peace. Izark is a consummate negotiator, after all. It's his job.

"I understand that it's difficult to believe that I can do what I've said, but I can. I'm not here to extort, but to help. My first request is that the city keep Noriko safe while I'm gone. She is my beloved and her protection is the most important thing to me."

The mayor raises an eyebrow and there are murmurs in the crowd. That was perhaps not the best choice of words in public, to make her blush, but I wish to convey my sincerity to the mayor. I won't leave Noriko's side without this promise. It's the same promise I required of the mayor of the flower town.

"We've come to you with nothing. I would second ask that the city provide three sets of clothing for each of us, or if that's not possible, Noriko is an excellent seamstress and enough cloth and thread for her to make our clothing would be a sufficient substitute. Two bags for us to carry them in, one for each of us. When we leave, one water bottle each and food sufficient for us to reach our next destination."

I remember what Noriko wanted to buy at the last market we were in. "Noriko also writes, but her notebooks, pens, and ink were stolen from us several months ago and we haven't been able to replace them. If a few could be spared, we would be grateful. Please continue to feed and house us without charge until we leave, although we won't overstay and become ungrateful and undesirable guests. This is the payment I require of the city to defend it from the army."

The mayor isn't satisfied. "That's all?"

Of course not. "That's what I require to even go out and attempt the job." There are noises that say the council expects me to be unreasonable if I can actually make good on my promise.

I calmly set their minds to rest. "If I can make the entire army leave the field, then I'll take as my payment however much gold from their coffers that I can carry from what they leave behind. If they don't leave any gold behind, then I require twenty percent of whatever gain you earn from the sale of the provisions, supplies, and materials they leave behind.

"If I can only chase away a few, and the enemy will still attack, then I'll take instead five percent of what you can sell of their camp, or ten percent of the gold that's found in it."

"You assume that we'll win either way," comes a complaint.

I turn to the council and quietly say, "He will. Is this not the City of Light?" They are silent.

Mayor Mardwoog narrows his eyes at me. "That's still not a burden on the city. You'll take it from the enemy. Ask for more," the mayor demands, "or I won't believe you can perform it." I raise an eyebrow. That was one step too far.

Noriko puts her hand on my arm lightly. I'm happy to let her have a turn. 

"Mayor Mardwoog, we have brought with us a man who has been kind and faithful to us, but we can't continue to take him with us. He needs a safe place of protection to live. Please, as part of the payment, allow Doros to become a citizen of Ennemarna and give him a place to live and a place where he can comfortably raise his chimos. He can tell you better than we what kind of a place that would be. He can earn his keep working with the animals of the city. I know of no better person to work with animals than him."

I approve. I'd forgotten Doros. We shouldn't continue to take him with us when we leave. That would be difficult and unkind. "I agree with Noriko. That would be an acceptable addition to the payment."

Now there are murmurs of astonishment in the council and the mayor is looking very confused. "Why won't you ask for the wealth that you could ask for?"

Noriko smiles at me. I smile back. We are both happy to scold him. I go first, needing to defend my position. "Is not the happiness of your friends and the peace of the land wealth? What need do I have of more than I can reasonably take with me and sufficient to provide for my wife and myself as we travel? We have goals that the gold from the army would help with, but to greedily demand more than that from the citizens of Ennamarna is to take from them what could be used to build the city up."

Calmly Noriko adds the barb:

"Aren't we trying to tear down those who are corrupt and use wealth and greed to build themselves up and subjugate the people around them? Why should we emulate them?"

There's a barked laugh from behind us that gets our attention. Barago's laugh is very distinctive. "Give it up, Mayor. No one wins against Noriko. ...Or Izark for that matter. If that's all they want, give it to them and say ‘yes'. You won't find a better deal anywhere."

The mayor looks over to that part of the room, where we walked from to get here. We turn and look as well. The whole group is smiling or nodding in agreement.

"Izark will make good on his promise," Duke Jeida says. "I will stake my reputation on it, if you need it." I bow my gratitude to the Grand Duke for his endorsement.

"...Very well," Mayor Mardwoog says. "We'll protect Noriko from the time you leave until the time you return, give Doros a place in the city to live with his animals, and collect the other things you have requested, as well as let you stay with no charge -- although we would have given you that anyway, since you're our guests. As to the rest, we'll see how your battle with them in the morning goes. I don't have a problem with your requirements."

"Thank you." I put Noriko's hand into my elbow and escort her back to our friends. That went very well.

I float next to Izark calmly until we're back with the others. I look up into Duke Jeida's eyes. "Thank you." I turn to Barago and smile at him. "And thank you, also. I was afraid that was going to go on for another half-hour."

Barago waves his hand. "I don't have that kind of patience."

I tip my head. "I know. I figured I could count on you." He laughs and laughs, his barking ringing through the room. I put up with it patiently. It really is good to see him smile.

"Noriko," Glocia calls me over and I go to stand next to her. "I know what you said last night, but... you really are a princess aren't you, even over there?"

I shake my head. "Not there. Only here, and only because of Izark." I can tell she doesn't quite get it. I can only smile.

Niana pats me on the head. "Of course you're a princess. Everyone can tell."

"Yes, Niana," I say obediently.

Glocia looks at me in surprise, then turns away and laughs quietly into her hand. When she recovers, she leans over to me and whispers, "You really know Mother now, don't you?" I nod wisely, then wink at Glocia.

Leaning back I whisper, "When Izark gets his gold and lets me have some, lets go shopping all day with Rottenina and Anita, okay? He forgot to ask for a brush ...again."

Glocia giggles. "Sounds good to me." I'm glad she'll loosen up enough to girl-shop with me. She'll make a great Prime Minister some day.

I leave Ennamarna early in the morning, long before sunrise. I slept early so that I could be up for now. Noriko is sleeping with the ladies who will protect her while I'm gone. The night is cold but the run to the army camp warms me nicely. I can see campfires and watchfires throughout the camp, but they aren't expecting anything to happen, it looks like.

I bring up the wind lightly and the fires flicker. Some of the guards shudder and look around nervously. I make the wind move the fires in unnatural ways and those begin to complain about this military action to their companions. Those who aren't devout scoff. I'll have to work hard to get those to leave.

First I run around the entire camp, placing where things are. When I come to the stored explosives, I collect them up and set them on the towers and catapults in preparation for destroying them. Then I stand on a high crate of supplies where I can see over the camp. Dawn is coming and with it the wind.

The desert holds a lot of the sun's energy -- both light and fire -- even at night. During the day there is more than enough of both for me to never have to become tired. I won't be scolded by Noriko this time for overusing my own energy. As the wind begins to rise from the sun warming the edge of the horizon, I hold it back, between Ennamarna and the army camp. It whips up against my barrier and with it the sands begin to rise as if boiling.

The men are rousing from their sleep, commanders calling them up to prepare to go against Ennamarna. When their eyes pass the desert where I hold back the wind, they begin to call out to each other to see the mountains that are rising up. Before the wind dies down from too much heat again, when it's at the angriest it can be, I release it and the wall of sand is pushed forward by it. The sandstorm slams into the army camp, making it so they can't see. 

I drop from my height and run through the sandstorm, whispering in the ears of the men the curses of the guardian spirits of the City of Light. I remind them of what happens to men who come to battle against the blessed city. Those who are devout shiver and cry out in terror, and begin to run with the wind, away from the sand attack.

Commanders call out for order and for the men to stand fast, but panic is already setting in as it passes from terrified man to uncertain man to confused man. The wind begins to die down as the sun rises higher and I return to my higher vantage point.

I'm sleeping in the same room as all the girls -- Gaya, Zena, Anita, and Rottenina -- since Izark left in the middle of the night and he wanted me safe. I've woken up early, but then, I went to bed early since I didn't get sleep the night before for all the reading I was doing. I spent the afternoon reading, too. There are many fascinating books in Zena's little library, but it takes me a bit to translate them.

This is my first time to really get my hands on books of this world and I don't have my dictionary with me. It's so frustrating. Anita and Rottenina helped me yesterday afternoon, so I got further than I did the night before. A lot of the older books have archaic words in them and Zena has to step in to tell us younger folks what the characters mean, or define certain words. I would read now, to keep myself distracted, but I don't want to light a candle and wake the others up.

I hear a scrabbling near my bed and suddenly the two younger chimos are up on my bed and running up to me. My first reaction would be to jump and shove them off. Pets, and in particular rodents, do not belong on human beds, but these two I did get to see when cute and little and they have no fear of me. Since shoulders is where we train them to sit, that's where they're heading, one on each shoulder of mine.

I'm wrapped up in my blanket. The nights in the desert are as cold as the books say and the warmth of the sun isn't here yet. I can see the beginnings of light, though, through the one covered window in this room. I wonder if I can see Izark and watch him, without the chimos on my shoulder taking me to him. I carefully try. It wouldn't be good to suddenly be next to him in the middle of the soldiers of the army.

The sand is being whipped up and is swirling around. Izark is running lightly through it, whispering in the ears of the soldiers. They're in a panic. I watch carefully, lightly.

When the hearts of the men are sufficiently terrified, Izark allows the wind to die down just a bit, then uses a complicated mixture of his powers to make it look like a monster is rising from the sand. He's gotten really good. I wouldn't have thought it possible.

I take in the fire energy that's rising. It's complex, but I use the heat of flame and smoke shaped by wind to create the image of a monster rising from the sand. I'm pleased to be playing with this much energy to create something like this. I smile to myself. Noriko is right. Sometimes it is fun to play even while being serious.

The men already frightened and uncertain start to run -- away from the monster, away from Ennamarna. The difficult men still try to stand fast, choosing to be blind to what they see. It isn't difficult to take a little fire energy and light the explosives from where I am. I begin with the towers and catapults that are at the front of the camp and work towards the sides to make it seem as if the monster is attacking the camp.

There's a large exodus of men on foot and on whatever horses they can grab. A few out front took the time to get wagons together and they're packed with other men. Most of the things are left behind. Perhaps they'll be able to regroup and return, but I think I know how to make that difficult.

I let the monster fade as the wind tells me there are few to no men left in the camp. I need to see with my eyes as well, though. If they hide deep in the tents the wind can't tell me they're still there. I start at the Ennamarna side of the camp and work my way back and forth through the tents searching them as I go. I'm relieved when there are no people the more I walk. They were obedient to their commanders and properly left their tents when they were called that morning.

I put out the cooking fires that weren't put out by the wind and sand. The pots don't need be destroyed by burning the food in them. Then there's something....

As he carefully looks over the camp to see if there are any stragglers, the others in the room with me begin to stir. I curl up in the bed as if still sleeping. The chimos curl up with me, and I hold them to me, trying very hard to find comfort with them and not want to be with Izark. It's hard now the soldiers have gone. We've been separated by distance longer than we have been for quite some time.

It shouldn't matter. I can feel him around me, his warmth, but..., physical arms are still something else. Ah, I've wanted him too much. He looks at me and smiles.

I look up and see Noriko watching me, but she looks like she's asleep in her bed. The other ladies are beginning to rise from their beds. "Good morning, Noriko."

"Good morning, Izark. I see you've been successful. Congratulations."

"You look like you're still sleeping?"

"I'm disguising that I'm watching you."

"Oh, I see." I shouldn't watch her or the room since the ladies are changing, so I go back to my chore and just talk to her. She can watch me. "It looks like they've all gone. I'm going to wait just a little longer to make sure they don't come back, and hunt for the treasury. I should be back in about a half-hour.

"Just before I come I'll set off the last of all the explosives to make sure they stay scared off, and to make sure there aren't any left to attack Ennamarna with if they do come back. I've already destroyed the towers and catapults." It's enjoyable to have her company while I walk the rest of the camp.

I'm pleased with how much gold they left behind. I can carry quite a lot, but over long distances not so much. I pick up as many bags as I can hold (all of them), then hunt for a place to store them until I can retrieve them. Then I decide that's rather ridiculous, for all I'd love to not have to work for many years. I can't really carry that many while walking or riding with Noriko across the country bringing peace and light back to the people. Ennamarna will also use what they get for good purposes.

Instead I double the carrying bags and put more than double the gold in each one until I have six bags completely full. That will be sufficient for long enough for my work to be exactly and only the work of the demon of light. That way I won't have to find the awful side jobs I don't really want anyway. I'm tempted to take extra gold to give to my friends so they can also have what they need to do their part of that work, but perhaps the city will give it to them anyway. I'll request it when we meet with the council again.

It's been long enough finally that the men shouldn't be coming back until much later, so I set off the last of the explosives. I use the sand that rises up from them to hide the passageway back to the camp so those from Donya will have troubles finding it again. Then I use the wind to bury the things they shouldn't be getting their hands on again if they do find the camp, and head back to Ennamarna. 

Noriko sends her love then withdraws to return so she can get up and get ready for her day. I'm looking forward to what comes next, and pleased with the results of my work this morning.

I give him one last "kiss", then withdraw. It will be good to see him at the breakfast table. The others in the room are dressing and getting ready. I'm thinking of getting ready myself when I slip back into sleep instead.

As I arrive at the city walls of Ennamarna, I can see people standing at the few high windows that look out towards the desert. Even more are waiting for me at the gate, which is through a passage of the high walls that wrap around each other for a few hundred feet. It's a very defensible passage and the gate is strong and sturdy. If the army regroups and still comes against the city, without their towers and catapults it will be a long siege that the city will win.

The mayor finds me first. "They've fled," I tell him. "The camp is empty and I've destroyed the towers and catapults. If you send out parties immediately to collect the things they've left behind it will be even more time and effort they'll have to put into coming against you again."

He's looking at the six bulging bags over my shoulders. "Did you steal all their clothing, too?" I merely smile.

"Did they leave the tents behind?" Alef asks, his merchant brain spinning.

"Yes. Pretty much everything. A few wagons and many horses were taken so they could leave more quickly, but they didn't stay to pack up," I answer.

Barago is also the sort to plunder quite happily. "If they left behind the food and oil we should confiscate that quickly so the food doesn't spoil. Those would benefit the city greatly." He and Alef are pulled to the side by the councilors of the city that are in charge of such things to plan how they're going get it all packed up and into the city.

I see them send a few runners into the city to start people getting wagons ready. They pause long enough to ask me just how many wagons I think would be a good number to send. I give them an estimate. It's obvious that the more go, the faster it all comes back, but I don't know how many backs they can call on.

"So..., how did you do it?" the mayor asks me. Several other council members want to know too.

"I just used the legends to frighten them away, and their own explosives to put some truth behind them." I don't say more, but they nod sagely and make up their own stories in their heads. I've found that answers most people best. I move away from that group, not needing to be asked for more details, since that's usually next.

"Izark! I can't find Noriko." My head snaps up and I'm staring at a worried Irktule. "I felt something ominous and was going to tell her, but I can't find her."

"Go and ask Zena and Geena if they can see where she is," I immediately order him. He's having to use a lot of energy to talk to me. That's how worried he is. There isn't much tree and plant energy out here in the desert. He disappears to my sight.

"What?" Barago cries out.

"Noriko's gone?" Alef heard Irktule also, since he had to use that much energy to tell me.

They immediately start passing the word around to hunt for her in the city, and to find Gaya and Zena. Perhaps they've gone to Zena's room. Others are sent to the breakfast room to see if they're waiting for me there. I'm closer to the room she and the ladies were in if I go outside.

I run back out of the city and around to the room she should be in, then leap up into the window of that room. It's empty and her bed is as well. Her blanket and the chimos are also gone. There isn't anything in the room to say where she might be.

I step into the room, drop my bags, then step through the door and down the hallway just a little. Her scent out here is last night's scent, fainter than the other ladies who left the room earlier. The last thing I remember was her telling them she'd follow them down to breakfast since she still needed to get dressed and she didn't want to delay them. They'd left the room excited to hear I'd finished my job already and would be joining them.

I tremble and grasp my arm as a chill overtakes me. They left her alone. That's all it would take for Rachef to take her without anyone knowing. He could pull Keimos all the way from Calco to Rienka. He could take Noriko. Would he have taken her that far, leaving me here? I'd think he'd rather have me and leave her here.

I step a few more steps down the hall and call for her, then reach for her along the heart connection. There's only empty silence. I can't feel her at all. It's as empty as if she were taken home. That thought brings even more fear. It's possible for this level of emptiness if we're an ocean and half a continent apart. That's likely too far for either of us. Still, I try to calm down and pull as much energy as I can, then send out the request for her to answer me as far as I possibly can without forcing it. There's still nothing. 

I turn around and I'm looking from a long hallway of rooms to another long hallway of rooms and my dream comes forcefully back and the fear of it comes back with it. I gasp and clutch my arms around myself. I can't let the fear overwhelm me. I begin by leaping back out the window and return to the others. I should know if anyone has seen her before I continue to let my mind make assumptions.

"She's not in her room and ...she doesn't hear me."

Agol takes my arm to hold me steady, his face showing his concern. "Not even the mind link is working?" I shake my head. He's felt my trembling and he doesn't let go. I'm grateful for that level of connection today. "Has that ever happened before?"

"Yes. When Rachef took her first to the east continent. When she was at the palace and I was at the buried mansion it was a very weak connection. We've both become stronger, though, so she would have to be very far now."

He looks almost as stricken as I feel. "Is that far enough? From here to there?"

I nod miserably and he understands my pain. To have to go all the way back there ...will she even still be alive once I get there? Will he come and fetch me next? There are too many things I don't know and all of my questions only make the fear grow.

"We're still looking," Barago puts his hand on my shoulder. He looks into my eyes with courage and firm resolve. "She could have fallen and hit her head and that would be enough, too, wouldn't it?" My nod is reluctant, but that's also true. Sleeping or unconscious we wouldn't hear or be able to answer.

Then I shiver and they both look at me with wide eyes. The newest thought has brought more fear, and I've begun to change. My teeth are chattering I'm trying so hard to hold it back. "The problem is that I can't feel her. I've felt her from the moment she arrived even if I didn't know where she was or how far. If she died, or...," I can't say it. Their looks are sympathetic.

I take a deep breath and say quietly only to them, "I have to get away from the city. I've learned to control it very well, but fear is what brings out the changes. Taking Noriko is the only thing Rachef can do to shut down my mind and turn me into the Sky Demon. I'll fight it, but I can't be here while I am. Please, keep looking for her. I'll return when I've got my fear under control again."

They both promise it and let me go. I turn and run. I'm far into the desert before I'm aware enough to realize how far. All of my focus has been on getting away from Ennamarna so I don't destroy it, and holding back the adrenaline reaction as much as I can.

Where am I? I was in bed, just talked to Izark. Now I'm lying on the floor. Well, on a rug, but on the floor. No blanket, no chimos. I rise unsteadily to my hands and knees.

I'm in a mostly bare room. There's a small table with a basket on it and a box, set under a window. The room is dusty and cobwebs adorn the edges of the room, but not the corners. In the corners are crystals set in rings. That's odd. It feels like a kitchen from the pioneer houses I've seen in my American History book.

Not as small as the one-room houses, though. There's a door that leads out into a hall, so more like the small two-story houses with two living spaces downstairs and two bedrooms upstairs. Oddly enough this room or house is made of wood. I wouldn't think there would be enough wood for a house in the desert.

"Izark?" My heart freezes and I drop through the layers. There is no sense of where Izark is at all. There's no answer to my call and I can't see him no matter how much I try. There is no warmth or presence of him, and I can't feel his fear, nor do I think my rising fear is getting out to him. I begin to tremble. I call louder, putting more strength and power behind it, wondering if I've been taken a continent away again. "Izark! Izark, I've been taken away!"

It doesn't even echo. It's as if it's being absorbed by soundproofing. I look at the crystals again. They've been put newly into this room. I can tell by the lighter color of the wood that was pulled up by the rings being put into the walls. If I can get out of the room....

I move to rise and run for the door. I'm pulled up sharply and painfully by a restraint around my ankle and I fall to my hands and knees again. I look back. There's a locked metal ring around my ankle and a chain from that to a sturdy ring set firmly into the brick wall of the fireplace behind me.

As my brain begins to comprehend, and my memory kicks in of my nightmare, I hear soft footsteps behind me. The fear from the dream of the evil approaching from behind me explodes in my belly. "I see you're awake, Miss Awakening." With the speed of my fear and my fight or flight training, my back is against the fireplace and I'm staring at the person who walked in.

My heart stops, then beats harder than it has ever beat before. I'm frozen in place and a wail is building up in my chest that I try to hold down. I haven't felt like this since I arrived in this world. I look for any escape one more time, but chained and with him between me and the door.... I grab the cuff and look for any way to get it to open ...take it off. Rachef chuckles. My vision narrows as my fear wants to make me pass out. I force myself to breathe and return oxygen to my brain.

"They told me you could see Izark's near demise before, and you knew where to find him. That isn't going to happen this time." My eyes flick to the corner. "Hmm..., so you already know? The crystals are moonstones. In the corners of the room, they separate it from the rest of the world. He can't find you, and you can't warn him." So..., it is just the room. If I can get out....

I work at the cuff, but my brain is going other places. The pin in the fireplace is actually the weak link. If he's going to keep me alive like last time, and leaves me alone, I'll be able to get out. It helps to have a plan. I don't want to wail any more. That doesn't make it less frightening to have him standing over me.

"The chimos were an unexpected prize. Thank you for bringing them with you." He's polite for an evil man. Like Zant, except not flamboyant. I pause, then call the chimos to me. They don't come. I swallow. Doros told me they'll come for those with strong desires and strong personalities. If someone with a stronger will is present, the strongest will and personality will trump. I quickly give up and don't let Rachef know I can call them. Maybe he'll leave them in the room, too. Now I'm very glad I relented and let them stay in the bed with me.

"Lord Rachef," the voice is scolding, angry, and sullen, and my head swings quickly to look at the doorway, "I thought you were going to kill the Awakening immediately. I gave you my power to find her so you could bring her here to kill her." It's Tazasheena, looking almost ugly with the angry scowl on her face ...except she looks like she's trying not to cry, too. I stare at her, trying to understand that expression.

"It took me a long time to find this place for you. Playing with little girls is not why you asked me to find it. If you can't kill her, I'd be happy to do it for you." I gasp just a little. She would do it, too, she already doesn't like me, but ...was that a touch of jealousy in her voice? I look between her -- gorgeous -- and Rachef -- cold and beautiful. Does Tazasheena want Rachef? I'm sure of it, down in the depths of my womanhood. How long has Rachef rejected Tazasheena? How can she still be trying? Can't she see he only loves himself, and not even that?

"Tazasheena," Rachef's voice is smooth but hard and cold, "take the chimos and leave."

Tazasheena stands shocked, then turns red. "I won't do that, Lord Rachef. My divining has shown me that if you leave Noriko alive that your plans will come to naught. You must kill her without delay. Let me do it for you." She has moved closer to him, desperate for him to hear her voice.

In one quick, smooth motion, with no change of expression, Rachef slaps Tazasheena hard enough across the cheek to make her fall down with a small screech of surprise and pain. He has turned his back to me for the blow but I can tell he doesn't even want to grace her with a look. "You forget your place. Liwate and Tickowa!" Two men nearly immediately look around the door frame -- not good. There are guards on the door. "Take Tazasheena and the chimos. Put them in a room in another building."

I glance at Tazasheena. She is tearing up and I can tell her heart is broken. What little it had been holding to is gone. I think she picked the wrong guy, though they are certainly a pair as far as evil goes. Still, I feel just a little compassion for her. Everyone wants to be loved, really.

It's just Rachef and I, and a closed door. My fear rises again as he turns to me, his face calm as if there were no emotions going on inside; although, I know there was anger in that slap. He doesn't ever let anyone know what's really going on inside. The kind to look completely in control of every situation. Most likely he is and quickly makes it so if he thinks he isn't. I can probably expect to be punished until I'm in his control as well. I'm shivering inside now. What will he do to Izark if I break under this person? I can't let it happen.

"Eeek!" It escapes because he was so sudden. He is right in front of me, crouched down to look me in the face. My hands flew to my mouth in reaction as well, and I'm breathing hard in fear. This is almost worse than having the flower monster staring me down ... except this monster can communicate... and is very beautiful this close up. If I'm not careful my own weaknesses coupled with my desire to live will be my undoing, not his punishments.

"Miss Awakening, what is your special power?"

I blink. "Ah..., what? S-special power?" I shake my head and take a deeper breath, trying to regain access to my brain.

"That man acquired tremendous power as soon as you appeared. He wasn't able to move at all before you came. What did you do for him?" I take another breath as Rachef puts his chin in his hand in a contemplative pose. He's really wanting to hear me give an answer. Will it help my cause to talk a long time and give any rescuers more time to find me? He doesn't seem the completely patient sort, but he is definitely intelligent.

"Well, you did have him released from the restraints just before then. It wasn't like he could move, pinned to the root. And ...I did jump without thinking again. That makes him instinctively react to rescue me."

Rachef looks at me with eyes that say he doesn't believe me, he's frustrated I won't answer the question directly, and I'm rather stupid for jumping off into space without thinking about it. I find his eyes captivating. They're as expressive as Izark's, although his face is more still and private than Izark's.

He looks off into space, into his memories. "I've always felt something was missing in my life. I've pushed my way to the top hoping to find out what it is that I lack." He wants to talk? Is he willing to because I'm going to die, or because I'm something different, something special with the label "Awakening"?

"I've removed whoever stood in my way: my mother, my step-father, and government officials. I eliminated anyone who made me unhappy." Ah, does that count me? Is that a veiled threat? I swallow. I think I'll treat it as one. Wait, I'm confused.

"But no matter how powerful I became, I couldn't rid myself of this empty feeling. I need to possess everything in the world so I can attain a sense of fulfillment. That's why I want to benefit from your special power. Why don't you become mine ...so you can give me the same power you gave him?" His hand is reaching for my head. I duck my head away from his hand, clenching my eyes closed. I don't want him to touch me intimately. I'm not his.

The touch doesn't come. I peek out carefully. He's frozen. It's like he's another Banadam -- only evil -- thinking in his head I'm his without asking or considering me. I suppose I shouldn't expect him to. I take a deep breath, more mental than real, then cautiously reach up and take the hand that is still frozen in the air in mine and lower it to be between us. It's a cool hand, the soft of a man who doesn't work hard with his hands.

I look just as cautiously into his eyes, trying to keep my fear hidden as much as possible, trying to keep my face calm. I'm also trying to reach past my fear to the calmness of the world of light inside me. Rachef's eyes have gone from stunned to a mixture of revulsion he's being touched and incomprehension or confusion. There's distrust as well. Whatever happened in his past, he doesn't trust others. I may not be able to reach him.

"Mister Rachef, will you hear me? You are frightening for me to talk to. Please, let me breathe just a minute. I'll try to answer your questions." He's my captor, but it's worth asking. He takes his hand back and sits back a little, resting his arm across his knee. The look on his face is one of twisted humor almost. He'll hear me, for now.

I sit cross legged, close my eyes and take one clearing breath, deep enough to try to get proper oxygen to my brain and heart to settle them and get the blood flowing. I have to be the teacher -- put that armor on so I can talk to him. "Mister Rachef, your reasoning has not been sound." His eyes flare slightly, but he waits. "If you have a hole of need in your heart and the path you are on cannot and has not yet filled it, how can continuing to walk it provide what you are looking for?"

His eyes start to go angry. I hold up a hand. "Let's take a less personal example so you can look at it unemotionally, if you will?" I wait until he gives me a little nod.

I desperately hunt for one. It isn't a pre-prepared lecture. "If you've found a new creature, something you want to keep alive, but you don't know what it eats, how do you learn how to keep it alive? We will assume it can't go and forage on it's own. You have to provide the food for it."

He looks a little impatient, but I wait for him to answer the question. I want his brain engaged in this. "I give it something to eat."

I nod. "Okay. What would you start with, vegetable or meat?"

He blinks, surprised I would want him to be so specific. He frowns slightly. "Vegetable. Most things eat plants."

"Good," I praise him and am pleased when he reacts positively to simple praise. "You've used logical reasoning to make an informed choice, rather than a random one. Most creatures do eat plants. So you feed it grass. It doesn't move to eat it. You're intelligent. You'll try other plants until something gets it's interest, am I correct?" He nods.

"Let's assume there are several options in the cage with it now, and you're called away. You leave, hoping it wasn't hungry just then. You come back later, and one thing is missing. You clean up all the others and remove them from the cage and then just give it that one thing to eat. It's hopefully close enough." He nods.

"A week later, you come and look at it closely, and it's thinner, moving around less, looking unhappy or unhealthy. You give it more of what you think it's been eating. Over time, it doesn't matter how much of that food you're giving it, it just isn't thriving. Is it right to continue to assume that's the correct food, or should the original assumption be questioned?"

I wait, watching his face. "At the very least other options should be tried," he answers, "if one can care enough to keep it alive." Well the first half was a good sign.

"Have you tried any other options yet, Mister Rachef? Or have you only tried to fill the hole by taking and taking and taking more and more and more? Are you feeding yourself grass when you need meat? That's what it looks like to me, Mister Rachef, like you are trying to become full on that which doesn't feed a man's heart, wholeheartedly believing that it's the only way."

I lean back from the look in his eyes, but I'm sad. He rises and turns away from me sharply. "Can't you care enough to keep yourself alive, to even experiment on if there are other ways to find whatever it is you're missing?" I plead with him gently. He makes a sharp movement, although he doesn't look at me. I flinch slightly.

"What is your special power, Miss Awakening?" he is dangerous in his voice, demanding an answer now.

"You've just heard it, Mister Rachef. Logical reasoning and the desire to understand things. Experimentation and study until a thing is known. The desire to help others understand with me."

He turns back to me with a surprised look on his face. I look back at him soberly. He shakes his head. "It has to be more."

I shake my head back at him. "No. It really isn't. Izark has taken my words and at least listened to them. When he believes me, he finds strength inside himself to move closer to his own goals. If you want what I give to him, then take what I've just given you and increase your own strength."

Ouuuch! He's grabbed me by the hairs on the back of my neck, pulled me half-way up, to my knees, and is staring with fury into my eyes, which I can barely open due to the pain. "The sophistry of the scholar is not power," he hisses at me.

I sob in, taking a breath for air, then carefully say though gritted teeth, "In my world we have a saying: ‘knowledge is power'." He shakes me.

I open my eyes again and look deeply into his, waiting until I have some portion of his brain paying attention to me. "I come from one of the most intelligent nations of my world, and my world is far more advanced than this one -- all because of knowledge, reason, experimentation, and study. If you don't want what I have to give you, let me go. I have nothing else to give."

Rachef glares at me a moment longer, then throws me to the floor. "I will not let you go." My heart drops with the declaration; although, I really didn't expect him to, I suppose ...just was hopeful. "I was going to kill you, but I've given you a chance to live. I'll give you anything if you'll obey me. Give me your special power." He waits for me to answer.

What answer can I give? I don't move, but I do answer, "I've already obeyed. Do what you will with it."

The blow doesn't come but his anger is palpable. When it's under control again, he says, "I'll give you time to think about it." He turns to leave. In a dangerously smooth voice he says, his hand on the door handle, "Be sure you think about it." He is gone.

How can I obey any differently? How can I give him something I don't have? If he can't trust me, then I'm dead. The tears flow. Izark..., my heart moans and begs for him, Izark, please... come save me. My tears run down my face and I can't prevent the sobs.

I've used the finer control I've learned to help me be distracted from the fear. I've not allowed the wings nor the horn, nor the spikes nor my foot claws to come. I've held on to the thought that if I destroy my clothes again I will get the worst scolding ever and I don't want that at all.

Still, the hand that grasps desperately at the sand is a black--scaled claw on a black--scaled arm. The hair that hides my face because I've fallen to my elbows and knees in weakness at the fight is light blue. The air that rasps through my parched throat passes over a tongue that cannot speak. Pointed ears lift the hair at the sides of my head and pointed teeth push on my lips. These are all things that remind me of the things that Noriko loves about me and I can't help but sob. Grief and sorrow rise to overcome the fear and the changes begin to fade.

It isn't the time to grieve, but I'll take that option over the fear and the anger that's waiting to burst out of me that I'm also holding down. Anger will be worse than fear, I can tell. I can't let that out and there would be no point to it unless I was really ready to give up on this whole world.

Without a target, a known enemy, the anger would destroy everything until Noriko came running back to me again. Then I would see the sorrow in her eyes I don't want to see. I don't want to destroy my friends who've helped me see what I really am, and I don't want to destroy the City of Light where the people are so kind.

Thinking of those who I want to protect helps me, too. Noriko would also want me to protect them. I'm able to breathe a little easier as my concern for them rises. Even my own emotions have power -- power to affect each other so that the ones that have meaning and can take me the direction I want to go can move me. I reach for them. Love, compassion, caring concern for others, even hope. Hope that we will find Noriko again.

Even if I do have to go all the way back to Rienka, I can hold on to hope that she is merely the bait, waiting for me, ...and working out how to escape yet again to meet me half way. I can rise to my feet again at that thought. It's time to be working. I know wherever she is, she's also working hard to get back to me.

I'm just returning to rational thought, and thinking of working on the pin in the fireplace when there's sudden movement in the center of the room. I'm staring in amazement at Tazasheena, a bandage on her cheek from the blow Rachef gave her. In her hands are both chimos that came with me. The tears are still running down my cheeks, although my sobs are calming. I don't really care.

"You look a mess," she says to me. Yeah, you too, sister. "Do you want to escape from here?" She's the temptress. What does she want? "The chimos will take you out, but then I'll tell Rachef you've escaped and he'll call you back. His control on the chimos is powerful. You can't get far enough on your own.

"When he has you back, he will kill you for escaping. You'd have to go all the way to Ennemarna for him to not reach you. That will kill you, you know, but if you love your man that much, you can call the chimos and go to him. Dead either way works by me."

I'm surprised at her complete lack of logic, the same as Rachef's. How is she going to survive telling Rachef she brought them to me? But with Rachef out of the room, maybe I can call the chimos. Maybe his hold over them is cut off because of the moonstones. If I can get from here to Izark, Izark can protect me ...and Irktule and the spirits might have just enough power left to keep me alive, although we used up an awful lot two days ago.

The balance is slim, but just weighted on the side of escape. I open up my full desire to be next to Izark and hold out my hands. The chimos are in my hands and I'm gone, the room disappearing. I hold my desire to be next to Izark tightly in my mind, thinking of nothing else, and suddenly he's in front of me. I can't help but smile.

"Izark." And then I'm passing out. I can't breathe. I struggle to take in air.

"Noriko! Noriko!" Izark's voice is painfully frantic.

I'm in his arms and I'm so relieved. "I-zar-k," I struggle to let him know I can hear him, but the world is fading it's so hard to breathe. I send a small sending of love and sorrow and compassion to him, and then I know nothing.

As I have that thought, I freeze. I can feel her. Then she's suddenly appearing in front of me, on her knees, holding the two chimos she had with her in her bed. She smiles at me but I can barely take in that she's really here. "Izark." And then she's falling.

I drop to catch her in my arms. "Noriko! Noriko!" She's very pale and she can barely draw in breath. I pull her to hold her to me and her heart beat is very erratic. The chimos move to my shoulders.

"I-zar-k." She struggles to let me know she can hear me, but she's fading fast. The last thing from her is a weak sending of love and sorrow and compassion and then she's unconscious.

I surge to my feet. "Irktule!" I cry loudly and the chimos are already taking us to him, my desperation is so great.

We land in a swirl in Ennamarna and I nearly stumble. Quickly I draw on the energy of light and fire to replenish what it took to get here. I thin the air so I can breathe it and do the same for the air around Noriko. That helps us both. Others are crying out and running up to us. I'm only looking up into the air. "Irktule. I don't know how far she had to come to me with the chimos. Will she survive if it was from Rienka?"

There are gasps of horror and then there's a warm energy that passes by me to slip into Noriko. Soon it's joined by more warm energy until I know that all of the spirits from the White Mist Forest that still have any energy left after helping us synchronize to get here two days ago are giving Noriko what they have to keep her alive. I try my best to not take any of that energy. I can get plenty here, and I do, as fast as I've learned to take it in.

I'm being held on either side by my upper arms, being directed indoors and up stairs and down halls until they make me put Noriko down on a bed. I don't want to let her go, but they promise me they won't let their eyes off of her, and she'll recover better if her body can relax in the bed. I don't move far from her, hovering over her, worried still.

Geena walks up to me and puts her hand lightly on my arm. "Mister Izark. Irktule says Miss Noriko will live. The spirits were able to give her enough she'll live. But they didn't have much more than that. She'll have to rest to recover, he says.

"He also says that some of the spirits came back and reported that a dark evil was growing over a place at the edge of the desert. He's going to go see what it might be, but he thinks it might be that she was only taken that far."

I try to recover. "Thank you, Geena." I look up. "Thank you, Irktule and the spirits of the White Mist Forest."

My eyes burn. I blink and look at Noriko. Her breathing is a little better, but the thinner air still helps her. She does look more like she's sleeping now, and her presence is inside me, not just beside me. I wouldn't move from her side, but the tears won't be held back much longer and I can't show those to the world. They are too private.

I turn and walk into the next room of the hallway to stand facing the wall. My silent tears fall down my cheeks like the waterfall that stopped our voyage on the underground river. My grief at the pain that Noriko has had to bear to come to me again is very great. She chose possible death over staying where she was to wait for me to find her.

Why can't I ever come to rescue you? My strength has no meaning if I can't even keep her protected and alive.

Chapter Text

"I know it's very painful to see the one you love in harm's way, Izark," Agol has come quietly and wants to comfort me. He's seen his own wife go through pain he couldn't do anything about and die when he would have done anything to prevent it.

I understand and I try to be grateful, but I can't have anyone with me now. I shake my head at him. My emotions are too big to share, even this one. He sighs. "I understand,"  he says quietly. "But know we are here with you." I nod and he backs off.

He's brought me out of the cycle of self-recrimination I was lost in. Wishing I could do anything to heal Noriko, to take from her the pain she's in, so I could hear her voice and have her arms around me. I need that comfort, but it remains unfulfilled.

I think of that comfort and warmth and wish for it, then see in my memory how pale her face was, the tears still glistening on her cheeks and I want to find Rachef, or whoever took her away, and punish them for putting her through this and whatever they put her through from the time she was stolen from me.

My fingers curl into a fist and I pound on the wall. Why does this happen to us? Why do we have to fight so hard only to be brought to pain? It has to stop.

I'm aware, so I'm alive. I still can't breathe well, but it's a little better. I hunt for Izark and immediately feel his warmth. I relax and just swim in that, letting it comfort and warm me, until I'm aware enough that the fear begins to return. I don't want it to, so I go lightly looking for Izark. If I can see him....

Compassion and my sorrow return. He's standing facing a wall of the city of Ennemarna and silent tears are dripping down his face. His grief is very evident. He's hiding because he can't keep it off his face. It looks like Agol tried to comfort him and was rebuffed. I rub a gentle hand of thanks on Agol's head then float to stand next to Izark. His grief is such I can't touch him.

I just send him my calming love and warmth, the same as he gives to me all the time. "Izark," I try to call to him, but it's too faint. He does react somewhat, though. His grief turns to anger, anger against those who hurt me. That won't do at all. He can't give in to anger. I flee to myself again.

"Ah, Noriko! ...No, don't get up!" There are hands pushing me back down, although I really don't have the strength to rise. I was just trying to get to Izark where I belong.

The words jar me, and I'm moving quickly. She mustn't move. I put my hand on her shoulder to hold her down on the bed and to let her know I'm with her. She's already returned to my side. My heart winces.

He moves very quickly to be next to me. That at least interrupted his anger. That's good. "Izark." Oh, that hurts.

It looked like it hurt to even just say my name. I brush back her hair, trying to brush back the pain that shows on her face. "Don't talk if it hurts, Noriko."

His voice is still tinged with pain, sorrow, and grief, although he's trying to be soothing. "Izark..., I'm so sorry," I'm crying, although my body doesn't have much energy for it. It's my heart that is crying more. "I'm sorry I got stolen away again. I'm sorry it took so long to come back. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you and that they locked me away in a room you couldn't find me in."

I may need to hear some of those words, but I'm aghast that she still will apologize for things she has no control over. "Noriko! Noriko! Please, stop!" The room goes still. They've only heard my side, but I have to get her to stop. I gently touch her shoulder, not sure if touch is also painful. "Does it hurt?"

"No."

Relieved, I sit down next to her and carefully pull her up enough to hold her to me. She needs my comforting arms as much as I need hers. "Noriko, it isn't your fault. Please, don't apologize." I want to cry again. I feel like I felt when I finally understood she was playing the servant, the princess that was afraid to get eaten. Please, don't. Don't be afraid of me.

The tears are in his voice again. "But, Izark --"

"NO!" I take the shout into our personal communication. The others don't need to hear this. She's surprised into being quiet. When I've calmed down enough, I try to teach her. "I was worried. I was afraid, but I was able to maintain enough control. I didn't even ruin my clothes this time."

I want to giggle and tell him I'm proud of him at the same time. We're both so emotionally not able to cope at the moment, the emotional link between us as confusing as ever when the emotions are strong.

Her mixed emotions of wanting to giggle and her pride that I was able to have that level of control washes through me and then I understand. We’re both overwhelmed by the emotions of what just happened and it's too much for us both. I let her take the lead, since she walks through them better being more practiced at untangling her emotions. Mine follow one after the other in nice order.

I have to calm me down, forgive myself. That takes time, but when he recognizes that's what I'm trying to do, he sends the emotions to go with his words: his forgiveness.

I try to follow her. She’s trying to calm down. Her heart cries still with the pain that she wasn't where she belonged. I try to send slowly and gently my forgiveness. I know she couldn't help it or she wouldn't have been gone to begin with. When she's stolen, the only thing either one of us can do is try to return to the other. I'm not angry with her.

She takes in my forgiveness. Then all of the emotions that go along with being stolen all come up at once and it's overwhelming. As I said, mine march in order. I can only hide my face in her hair as my eyes cry out her loneliness at not being able to feel me either, her fear at being lost and imprisoned, her terror at the confrontation she was subjected to, and the pain of the injuries done. That last brings up anger for me, but I keep that one below the surface. Now is when she needs to heal and that won't help her.

I find that in crying her tears for her, all of my equal emotions are also cried out. When I've reached the end of mine and they are all hers, my tears stop and I simply anchor in the comfort of knowing she's in my arms again. I can't hold it though, and the grief I felt from before comes to the surface again. I couldn't save her from all of what she had to go through.

When she can, she takes her turn to anchor.

"It's not your fault. They surprised us again."

I hold on to her calm understanding until I can forgive myself.

Because my emotions follow one after the other, anger rises next. I'm a little surprised when she pushes back on it, unwilling to let it come out. 

"Don't Izark. Don't let anger overwhelm you. I can't save you from that if you become angry when I'm already with you. I'm here. I'm sure there is something you can do, and anger does bring power, but please, don't let it be what leads you to act. Choose to act rationally, for good reason, then use it's power to accomplish that good."

Izark backs up figuratively in surprise, considers his anger, then slowly releases it. I know that it's waiting to be used. He hasn't gotten rid of it. I won't make him.

I raise an eyebrow. This is the first time we've talked about such things. She also believes as I do, but I wasn't properly considering it when it comes to her. Just because I love her and have special care for her, that doesn't make it right for me to change how I act. I should still hold to my integrity to be what I want to be. I let the anger go for now. I’ll use it later if I get the opportunity to and it won't cause me to overreact. We sit quietly for a bit longer as our emotions stabilize.

There are things we all need to know to move forward. I want to let her rest, but we should know them before she sleeps again. I pull away from her a little so I can see her face. It’s more relaxed now, like I'm beginning to feel inside -- at least some of the rocks are gone. I brush my hand against her forehead in lieu of my lips. "What did they do, Noriko? Who was it?" I say it out loud to include the others in the room. 

"Rachef and Tazasheena."

"Rachef and Tazasheena, hum? I guess that isn't surprising." There are dark and worried mutterings in the room.

"Rachef wanted to talk to me, but he was supposed to kill me right away. Tazasheena told him that if he didn't that his plans were sure to fail."

"Rachef wanted to talk instead of kill you? That's surprising."

"He wanted to know what my special power was and wanted me to give it to him, instead of giving it to you."

"What special power of yours did he want you to give him? Being a water fountain or teaching?" Those are her two best ones. I'll keep the third one to myself, since no one else needs to know she knows how to play act.

Izark teases me. I give Izark a small smile. "I gave him lecturing. He didn't want it. He would've killed me when he came back but Tazasheena wanted me dead first so she, illogically, brought me the chimos. I escaped. She was expecting me to die coming back to you, but even the hope that Irktule and the spirits might have gained a little strength was enough to tip the balance.

"Rachef only left long enough for me to decide that I would give him my special power. He wouldn't believe me, even though I'd told the truth. What more could I have told him? It was more likely death if I stayed than if I escaped." I pause. That took more energy than I would have liked.

Her breathing is becoming labored again. We’re taking too long. Her words are sobering and help me heal a little more. I wouldn't have reached her in time. She had to come to me. "So it was death either way," I say softly and summarize for the others. "I'm glad that you had the chimos with you, that Tazasheena was illogical, and that Irktule's spirits had enough in them to keep you alive." Others in the room feel as I do.

"They're still there. They won't give up this time, now that they know where we are again."

"No, that's true. If they knew where to steal you from, they won't leave us alone until we're in hiding again." That causes all kinds of consternation in the room.

"Izark, there are ominous clouds gathering over the ruins and evil is rising in that area." It's Irktule.

My answer is terse with suppressed anger and irritation. "Rachef." Noriko shudders as her fear rises again. "What do you need, Noriko?"

"Kiss."

She’s too tired to even ask with more than one word.

I can't help the blush, but I understand. Like I still want to have her hold me, she also wants to be holding me. Perhaps it's still a shared unaddressed emotion. I carefully lie Noriko back on the bed. To keep it as private as I can, I keep my back to the room and lean over to kiss her. She doesn't really have the strength to return it, but I do feel the gratitude she sends me and that comforts me for now. 

"I love you, Noriko," I say softly to her.

"Thank you, Izark. I love you, too."

When I stand back up, I turn to the others in the room. If we have a place identified now, we can begin to act. "Doros, I'd like to borrow your chimos."

After a moment, Doros runs out of the room. He comes back in and says, "I -- I'm sorry Izark. For some reason they can't. May-maybe the source of evil is trying to take them. All I can do is hold them to keep them."

"Tch!" I'm irritated, but it might be a good indicator that Rachef is here indeed.

Izark's irritation masks fear.

"She can't stay here, if the source of evil knows she's here, and is coming," Agol protests.

"But she can't be moved in her weakened state," Gaya argues. "Not only is she too fragile, this is the desert. There's no way she can travel on the desert."

I want to say something, but I'm having troubles working up the energy to say it, and I'm not sure I'll be heard anyway. Weakly, I do finally manage to get out the first part, "Izark..., I'll be fine. Just do ...what you need ...to do." I think it was misunderstood. Izark is looking at me like he didn't want to hear those words.

I can't believe I just heard those words. Barago gets out the words before I do. "Fine? You'll be fine?" He throws his hands in the air, then balls them in frustration. "What shall we do? What can we do?"

"Let us help you. We'll protect Noriko." The room goes still in shock and all heads turn to the newcomer to the room. "Let us join in your battle against the evil," Mayor Mardwoog requests.

I sigh in relief to myself. I won't have to say it now. He's kind to offer first, though.

"What?" Agol asks.

The mayor looks around the room, then at me. "Your other friends told me. You are the Sky Demon and she is the Awakening, and you've been fighting against the source of evil. How alone you must have felt to be fighting this battle without anyone else." My eyes widen. It must have been the de Gilenees since everyone else is here. Niana would do it even if the others hushed her. What does he mean by fighting all alone, though?

Mayor Mardwoog continues, "We'll help you. This city has defenses against the darkness and evil. It's the only place that does. The old schematics of where to place the moonstones to use the energies of the people of the city are still in my possession, as are the moonstones.

"With enough volunteers to go out and set them around the outside of the city, we can protect Noriko and those inside the city from the powers, though we may still have to do battle. We also have moonstones we can set in the room to protect her more directly. If she is separated from being seen or found, using the moonstones, then she will be even safer."

I nod slightly. "Yes. That's what happened before, ...when they stole me. Moonstones in the corners." Izark turns to look at me. "You wouldn't hear me again. We would be separated. But Tazasheena couldn't see either. Only chimos can get through. Rachef ...doesn't have any. Ennemarna is ... only safe place. The world of light ...we are here on purpose." I'm losing my strength, but Izark is finally understanding.

The world of light has given us the gift of the only safe place on the planet being where the final confrontation will take place. I learned that in my readings the day before, remembering the other things the council had said: that this place is shielded by the power of the people's belief in living good, kind, gentle lives full of light.

"You knew? How did you know?"

I smile at him. "Read it. Yesterday. Understood it today."

Because she was captured to see the example. I lean down and kiss her forehead. "And the door?" I ask with a whisper.

I look into his eyes. "When you're ready. I'll rest and gather my strength until then."

I love this woman. She has so much strength and hope, even right after such a terrible ordeal. I reward her with sapphire eyes.

The thrill goes through me and I moan. "Not fair. I don't have the energy for that."

I hold it and let her look as long as she wants. I know what blue does for her.

I soak it up: all the desire, all the yearning, all the love I have for Izark, until my eyes answer with light, more than he's seen before. 

I can feel her emotions turning, trading places, until she is full of the warmth of her love for me. It keeps going until I can see it in her eyes, coming from her body, that power that she can control when she goes into the light. I can actually see it. I'm as transfixed by it as she is by my eyes.

She wraps that power around me, the warmth of the light, it's peace and strength. I don't fear it this time. This time I watch it, feel it, and accept it until I'm calm and centered in it, the same as I've learned to be in all of the other energies and powers I've learned to use.

We sit together in that still, strong center, holding eyes/my eyes looking into his sapphire ones, until I'm/he's ready. Slowly we separate. She/I knows/know where the door is now, but she'll/I'll wait to open it -- wait for me/him to say it's time.

"I can't go any farther with you, Izark." Irktule hovers over me as I run.

"That's fine. Thank you for leading me. I can feel them. I know where they are now," I reassure him. He watches me run on, then turns back to return to Ennamarna.

I stayed long enough to see them put the moonstones in the corners of Noriko's room. Then I walked out the door and lost her to heart connection and feeling. I walked back in and she was there again. That was enough to reassure me -- that and the three pairs of eyes that looked at me with determination. Gaya, Barago, and Banadam refused to leave her side and I trust that they'll do everything they can to protect her.

Gaya is still mourning that she didn't stay with Noriko this morning. I think Rachef would have still taken Noriko regardless, but Gaya will need to work it out for herself. Rachef is the sort to take whatever he wants without regard to the pain it causes others. He wants me, after all.

It's time to meet with them. I'll meet them where they are to keep them as far from those I care about as I can. They've taken over a ruin near a mine. Dark clouds hang over it and it isn't hard to tell they're there. Like I could feel the power of light around Noriko, I can feel the power of darkness that is in this place. 

Even though they've darkened the village, and it has the feel of being a place where evil was done, I know how to reach for all of the other energies now, and I've filled up with the fire and light and air energies of the desert on the way here. This time, I won't lose to my emotions. I will not lose to the men who want to destroy this world and rule in evil. They are only men.

I arrive to find Keimos waiting for me. Beyond him are Rachef and the old seer standing by a dome of black darkness. "Show him, Keimos! Show him that he is just a pawn in the plan to resurrect my master. He is only a worm who I will own! Show him he cannot defy us!!"

Keimos greets me with an evil grin of delight that he has the opportunity once again to prove he can best me. "Hello. I've been dying to see you again."

I don't want to fight him again. It's a waste of my energy. I leap into the air. The dome resonates with the power that filled the temple of the evil spirit called the Source of Evil. It's connected to here so that Keimos has access to the power there. The moonstones that support that spirit feed it. If I can enter it and destroy the moonstones, the power that allows the spirit to remain will disappear and so will the Source of Evil and all that supports the evil that has arisen on this world.

Rachef and Gorya disappear into the dome and are gone, likely back to that temple to watch from there where they can feel safe from me and wait to see if Keimos can do what he wants to do here. I dodge Keimos' attack -- quite a powerful one actually since I've ignored him and that's made him angry. He's also been practicing and getting stronger. I throw an attack back at him to push him back and try to get to the dome again but he refuses to let me pass.

You'd think they'd want me there to begin with. I guess not. They must fear the me that is healthy and living. -- I smirk to myself, but then have to focus. Keimos is being insistent.

Our swords, wreathed with power and energy, clash with a resounding clang! and the explosion blasts us apart. I leap over his head and smash down on him with an energy-filled power blast that slams him into the ground. I use the opening that gives me to get closer to the dome. 

Things get busy. Izark wants to take the battle to Rachef. We don't know what Rachef will send, and Izark, like with the Donya army, would rather whatever it is stayed as far from the city, and me, as possible. As soon as he knows the preparations on the city are begun, he takes Irktule and leaves the city.

Rachef already knows I'm here, so Irktule doesn't have to split his shield. He'll only be able to go so far though. Like at the ruins, he won't be able to get close to the source of evil. That's okay by Izark. He just wants to get close enough to be somewhat of a surprise to them.

While I'm waiting, I'm resting and thinking. This time I really can't go with him, but this time, it's okay. When I open the door to the world of light, my understanding is that we'll be together more fully than we are now in thought, sight, and emotion. That's next anyway if the pattern holds true.

There is little I can do while I wait. Enemies come to surround the city and my guardians -- Gaya, Barago, and Banadam -- decide to move me into an inner room to be safe. I thank them quietly. Keimos challenges Izark, then encloses them in a barrier I can't see through. It's interesting that Keimos found a skill like that, but now I have to return to myself anyway. The moonstones in my new room are up also.

I'm suddenly blocked by a strange surface. I slash at it to create a tear in it and leap through, only to find I'm looking through the tear at my back, and the tear is closing quickly. Keimos is in front of me now between me and the tear. I quickly turn around and the tear is also behind me, as is Keimos through it and me looking behind me at another tear.

I've never seen anything like this. He's used the power of darkness to create a space that can't be escaped from. He must have gotten frustrated that I kept escaping. He's not going to let me do that this time. The space domes up around us, completely closing us in. Fine. Let's get this over with quickly.

He's reached a new level of power for sure. He changes into a monster himself -- a rather disgusting one that can lick its hair and eyebrows with its own long pointed tongue. He has additional eyeballs not only on his face but now also on the backs of his hands as if all the evil that loves blood and death has come to inhabit him and watch as he dishes it out and likely as he receives it as well. I shiver, then repress my personal reaction.

Doesn't he know that this kind of strength isn't real strength? To have given himself over to this he's lost his sense of personal satisfaction in knowing he can be strong on his own. It's time to let him rest from the wretched existence he's lost himself in now that he's fully mad over his singular desire to defeat me who cannot be defeated.

I call upon the power of light that's within me, feeling it rise up in me more powerful than the Sky Demon, and I center in the calm of that power. Keimos scowls and calls on the power of the earth and darkness and sends the earth itself to attack me, similar to how he controlled the tree roots. I send a blast of energy and power at him and through the earth coming my way.

My attack makes the earth crumble back to the ground and is about to slam into Keimos when he seems to dissolve into dirt himself and disappears with a slurp. There's a similar sound behind me a few seconds later and I can feel him again, now behind me. He can move through the earth? I move to dodge and catch his blow on my sword.

It was a ruse to get close to me. He opens a mouth full of pointed teeth and bites down on my shoulder, pinning me as I gasp in shock. Then I'm being slammed into by three painful spikes of earth coming through my back. He's used again a modification of what worked before. The pain and frustration blast out of me in a large burst of energy that disintegrates the earth spikes and blows him back from me.

I'm most frustrated with myself, that I let him get that close to me. I also should have learned from that previous experience. He hits hard and fast when we get close enough for physical contact. I'm much better off with Keimos keeping my distance. Of course, I wasn't expecting him to be able to move through earth.

I follow up that blast of energy with another one and Keimos slips back into the earth. I have a little problem with that. Because earth is my opposite energy, I can't tell where Keimos is when he's buried in it. I have to wait for him to appear again. When he does I send another blast of energy and he disappears into the earth again.

The next time he appears he's leaping for me and we again clash sword to sword, shield to shield, and an explosion rocks this space we're in. I'm barely holding my own, and being wounded now I'm conserving in between clashes as much as I can. What can I do to shorten this battle?

Then I remember all of the others I've fought who've had this sort of power. Does Keimos also have the seeds of evil within him? I defend myself one more time, sending him back into the earth. How can I get him to hold still long enough that a power attack to get rid of them will hit him? There's one way to do it. If I'm also connected to the earth I'll be able to know where he is. It will tell me. Then I can hit him even while he's still underground.

He sends the earth spikes at me again, staying in hiding this time. That's what I want. My shield disintegrates the small earthen spikes. Frustrated, he sends one large one at me. I allow it to come and to slam into me. Following that link I discover where he is. I put everything I can into one great blow, adding in the earth energy now inside me, and focus it on Keimos' gut. 

Air energy doesn't fight air energy. Fire energy dances with fire energy, it doesn't flee from it. Earth energy wants to return to earth energy. And Keimos' evil energy embraces itself. The earth energy, poisoned by his evil energy, mixes with my power and follows the link of like calling to like and unerringly slams into Keimos, felling him from the air. Once I could send the energy back to itself, I couldn't miss him, and his shield and energies wouldn't shield him.

A massive amount of evil spirits, not just evil seeds, leaves Keimos as he falls on the ground. The earth piercing me dissolves away. The shield around us tears at the top and falls back down to the ground, revealing the sky and the ruins again.

I want to get to the cavern and destroy the moonstones, but that additional wound has sapped my strength. I still have the poisonous energy inside me. Noriko would scold me to rest for sure, and my body is in agreement with her. My mind and will argue rather strenuously with both.

It becomes a little bit of a moot point as Keimos rises to his feet again. I'm surprised he can. I suppose I'm a little relieved he didn't blow away like the Brunei brother did. It means he still retains some level of humanity.

I spend my time thinking about the lessons I've learned since early in this world. That we are all interconnected. That the small acts of one seem insignificant, but when added to the small efforts of others, they build until they become something much larger than one would originally think.

Izark's kindness to me, the simple act of saving my life, has led to this time. He now has the strength to face such a terrible evil. When he and I met, he didn't. Buried maybe, but now it's mature, controlled strength.

When he saved me, I was frozen, petrified. But I trusted him with simple faith. Since then my trust and faith in him has become rock solid. I can support him with strength that is the same level as the strength he carries. All because of one little act at the beginning from each of us that had added to it the many small acts of others along the way.

The Doctor in Calco and the clothing merchant and the innkeeper's wife. The river that cooled me to keep me alive. Gaya, Duke Jeida, Banadam, Rontarna, Koriki, Agol, Geena, Barago, Irktule and his tree. Then Zena's simple thoughts she'd taken years to confirm, but only had to say once to us, Rottenina, Anita, the lady who rented us her house so I could recover. Even the field of flowers.

The mayor and her daughter and son-in-law in the city of the Flower Festival, the rainbow. Doros and the chimos, the spirits of the white mist woods, the villagers and the farmer, his wife and son, the grain and other foods they grew that gave us sustenance and life while we were there. Alef, Glocia, and Niana. Doctor Clairgeeta, his theory and kindness, and the Grey Birds.

Everyone helping us in small ways, each thing building, strengthening us, lifting us until we have come here to Ennemarna where the Mayor and all the citizens are now supporting us in the final moment of Izark going to face the Source of All Evil and those who support it.

That makes me think of those people. Izark and I -- our support stands, like the trunk of a tall tree. These our friends who surround me to protect me are like the roots of the tree I entered this world under. They support me, and they support Izark so that we can do the small, hard things that need to be done today.

But Rachef -- he said he "removed anyone who stood in his way". He even removed Tazasheena, who would have supported him even to killing me to help his cause. In doing that he made it so she turned on him, ending up supporting Izark and I against him. I can't imagine he has anyone supporting him. There is the Source of All Evil, his other seer, and Izark's nemesis Keimos, who will be removed as a support when Izark is done with the current battle. From my two interactions with Rachef, I can't imagine him trusting anyone else, if he even trusts them.

Rachef may be strong, he may feel powerful, but it's an illusion, an emptiness that he can even feel, acknowledged to me this morning. It's so sad. I offered him the vision of true strength and support and he spurned it, ran away from it, was willing to kill it. He's not willing to save himself from starvation, and it's all he has left. He has asked for it and Izark will bring it to him.

The evil cannot be allowed to continue. It is hollow, destructive, and the people who understand and have good hearts in this world don't want it. The world of light has called to me, has taught Izark, and all the thoughts of the good people and places and things of this world have done it, so that the evil can be beaten back, so that the light can shine brightly again. All the hearts who wish for this support us. All the hearts who follow evil tear each other down until nothing can be left standing.

I feel the wind of the power of the light swirling around me again. The sense of all things, in their small strengths and desires that becomes one big, calm ocean of strength and force of light. As I watch, the door opens and I am swept with the feeling and power through the nexus into the world of light.

It's the place all things are connected. There is thought here, emotion, desire, memories. There are worlds and universes, flowers and stars. Birds and creeping things, ocean mammals and soft baby chimos. Even my parents and brother and grandfather are connected to this place. I can feel they are well and living life the best they can, also giving their small parts to the whole to strengthen the light, and I'm glad.

Here is also life. I feel that power of life filling my physical body, healing it, giving not just my spirit and my understanding strength, but my body also. I wait calmly until I am whole and one within myself, within the world of light. Then I turn to look at Izark.

He's no longer in the barrier made by Keimos, but he isn't done with that battle yet. I'll wait. I look at the city of Ennemarna. There's a created enemy surrounding the city. No one appears hurt. There's a thing Izark can do to help here if I'm in place to help when he's ready. Without upsetting my balance, I return to my body and sit up.

Keimos sends a power attack at me, but it's back down to the level he had when he fought me outside Calco. I lightly bat it away with my sword. I could breathe with the wind and do the same, if I had the strength to control the energy. "I'm impressed you didn't fade into dust, Keimos," I say to him. I turn for the dome and leave him behind. I'll compromise and walk instead of run. That will give my body time to work on healing.

"Wait! Izark ...wait! Don't turn your back on me!" He sounds almost desperate, as if a child crying out for a parent. I turn back to see and he's pulling the evil spirits back into himself. I really don't think that's a good idea.

My premonition is correct. I've damaged him too much for him to have the strength to control them. He returns to attacking me, and I defend, but the evil spirits start spilling out of him and deforming him in ways that aren't what he was like before. He cries out in distress, but unlike the Grey Bird, he wants them to stay in, to behave. That's not how it works. They only obey strength and evil will, not weakness and petulance.

Still, I also think forcing them out again won't work. He needs to be released from this pathetic existence. There's really only one thing men like him can accept and walk away, and he's asking for it, calling to me with the words of all of them as I turned and walked away. "I can still fight, Izark! Come and let me kill you!" He can't hardly even walk.

I return to him, walking up to him. His face is full of confusion and distrust -- of me, of the spirits, of anything really. He could only ever trust in his own strength and now it's gone. Still, he tries to marshal his strength one more time. Before he can move, I slam my hand through his body, which is mostly now evil spirits anyway. "Keimos," I say with conviction, "you are truly the most formidable opponent I have ever fought. I don't think that I will ever meet a more powerful warrior than you." It's true. I likely won't.

His eyes fixed on mine relax. He smiles his proud smile and with a swirl of dust and shadow he disappears, as gone as the Brunei brother. Only his will to be proven the strongest warrior on the planet kept his form together as host to those spirits that are also now gone because I've used light energy in that attack. The evil spirits cannot abide in light energy.

How fragile he was. You were such a fierce warrior, yet were so easily broken in the end. It was because he gave up his being and his true strength to the evil, which is a false strength of ash and darkness.

I tremble. Even pulling on that much light energy was too much just yet and my legs buckle. The evil energy coming from the dome rises up in the earth around me again, to pull up the very earth to attack me. The Source of Evil isn't done with me yet, and is powerful enough to do its own work now that I'm weakened. My shields protect me from the smaller poisoned earthen spikes. I'm holding it and hoping my body can recover faster.

Suddenly a flash of light comes from within me: a flash of the power of light that isn't my own energy, nor did I call on it. "Izark." It's a whisper felt inside.

"Take me up to the top of the wall. Izark and I will defend the city." My friends are staring at me and I smile kindly, then swing my legs off the bed. Banadam quickly comes to take my hand. It's helpful to be led. I don't want to return to the physical realm just yet.

"Noriko," Gaya asks cautiously, "have you found the door to the world of light? You are very bright." I smile at her, and look into her eyes and see and feel and know her, all while loving her.

"Yes, Aunt Gaya. I'm in the world of light. Izark is almost done fighting Keimos, then I'll open the door for him. Help my body, which is healed. I need to be at the top of the wall when Izark's ready. I'll return when I'm done helping him defeat the source of evil in your world." I say it that way because all worlds I can feel have evil in them.

All people are given to choose evil or good. In this way they learn -- learn to love, have compassion, empathy. Learn to rely on each other so that they can build each other up -- so that they can participate in something greater, be part of the greater Light that connects us all.

My attention is divided between walking to my place in Ennamarna and the battle Izark is fighting. In the end, Keimos can only find joy in Izark recognizing him as a worthy opponent, and then fade away into nothing. I'm glad Izark was able to give him peace and contentment in his death. That is a fate and gift most who choose evil don't get.

We arrive at the top of the city wall and I kneel down and return fully to the world of light. Izark has collapsed to his knees as well, but that works for me. I walk up to the door that opens into his heart and mind. "Izark," I call to him -- a whisper in the world of light -- and it echoes up into his heart.

"Noriko?" Is this Noriko's power? I'm glowing with the light and nothing the evil throws at me can touch me.

I put out my hand and open the door at his nexus, and speak again, and this time it's clear to him. "Izark. Come here. The world of light is here."

I turn inward, seeking for Noriko. I can feel her and that connection helps me walk to where she's standing. I can hear her words, and I can feel her calm strength, her sure knowledge that she stands in the world of light and has opened the door for us. And then I'm in the world of light, standing in it with her, seeing her spirit. I stand there, feeling this place.

I can feel him turning inward, seeking for me, dropping through the layers we were taught, that are now so familiar: thought, sight and understanding, emotion, to come to the nexus. I hold out my hands as he can now see me. "Izark." He steps through the door and is in the world of light with me.

In this place I know things. I know how to reach it again. I know how to come here and be here not just in spirit but physically as well -- a thing I know only I and perhaps a very few others will ever be able to do. I know how to access the door to open it for full healing instead of the partial healing I've had until now. And I know that I will never die.

I'm a part of this place and it's a part of me in a way that I'm not sure any other creature is. It's as if I've been born of it from the beginning. This is my true form: a creature of light that was given mortal existence so I could protect and defend my world from the darkness and evil that threatened it. I could go to any world in this place, any universe, and protect it as well. I could send Noriko home (but not bring her back). I am light.

All of this knowledge comes to me in one fast moment. I'll have to meditate on it later. Right now my body is healing and Noriko is here, holding out her hands for me. I take the final step towards her and take her hands in mine, relieved she can be here with me in this new place, even though it only holds peace, warmth, and life.

"Izark. Can you feel it? That the world of light is where all are connected? Everything is here, all in one. This gentle strength, this energy of light, it is in all things. The river that cooled me, the beautiful field of flowers you showed me, the chimos, Doros and our friends, even you and me. It is within us and within all things."

I am holding him, his individual energy and strength, but it is also part of the all, as I am. He stands, coming to understand this place the same as I did, then I feel his own relief, love, and calmness. He wraps his arms around me, and it feels warm, close, never ending, like when I could feel it after we began to feel each other's emotions.

Here, I can tell we could merge if we wanted to, and for a brief moment we do, but it isn't necessary to right at the moment, and there are things we need to do. It's more as if it's a "hello" kiss.

I wrap my arms around her and hold her closely to me. "Noriko." Here in this place we also are one. If I wanted to never lose her I could take her into me and make her a part of me, and it happens briefly because thought makes it so, but that isn't what I want. I want Noriko as Noriko. So I only hold her warmth in my arms and give her my own and both of us are enveloped in peace and love.

"Come with me and rid the city of its attackers. It won't take long and then they'll be able to not be afraid. Then I'll go with you." He lets me lead him back to my body.

I don't want to leave the city unprotected and my body needs more time to heal. The light emanating from it is protecting it from all attacks by the Source of Evil -- which isn't one. It's merely a strong spirit that's been evil too long and also needs to rest like Keimos needed. I follow Noriko back to her body.

She gives me permission to enter it with her, a new and interesting thing to learn. Each physical body is keyed to the spirit in it and that spirit has to grant permission for other things to enter it: spirit, energy, power. It being her body, I'm careful to be respectful. She rises to her feet and holds out her hand, palm facing outward.

I'll need to use my own spirit to channel my power, which is the power of the world of light, like hers is, but it's different. My power protects, attacks, but it isn't evil. It's cleansing, used with mercy and temperance. I carefully merge my hand and arm with hers and we look out at the monsters of sand that surround the city of Ennamarna. They're only artifacts of power, the same power that's attacking my physical body.

I use my power and intent to destroy the monsters that surround the city. There's no limit to that power when I'm in and part of the world of light itself. But, I know now how to channel it, control it, not let it overwhelm, and how to use only what's necessary. Noriko walks the perimeter of the city wall until all of the monsters have been destroyed.

She returns to a kneeling position so her body can rest again. She's also been healed by the world of light. We return together to the world of light, following the path her spirit can walk to reach it.

"Thank you, Izark."

I envelop her again, my love and gratitude for her merging us again. Again I keep it brief. She knows and that's enough. It's time for me to finish my work so I guide her to where my body is.

"You're injured, Izark."

"Yes, but the life in the world of light has been healing me. It won't be too much longer." She understands. Knowledge comes to her from here also. The world of light is thought and everything is known if one desires to know or understand it.

There isn't a need here for me to merge with him. I'll just accompany him, by his side as always, my rightful, necessary place. On the other hand, he will be both fully in the physical world and in the world of light at the same time. That is his gift, his fifth stage, the stage of the wings of light. I stand as his anchor in the world of light, like the anchor I've been all this time. 

As I return to be with my body, it's brought into the world of light with me so that I stand on the boundary at that nexus of dark and light. It's also the nexus of physical and spiritual. Like I stand balanced between dark and light, I stand at the door between life and death. I can be injured, but I cannot die. This is me, what and who I am.

I am human so I could choose light or dark, good or evil, to care for others or only myself, but I am light also: that which is life and brings life to all that exists. That light exists in everything as well, but in me it's slightly different. I can tell Noriko will want to research that difference. It's a thing that tickles at her curiosity. I smile to myself. I'll let her do that in her own time. It will be fun to watch her eyes light up as she learns new things.

He returns to his body and I stand in the doorway, keeping it open, the love, peace, and strength of the world of light swirling around me and up into all the layers of him that are so familiar that I can't help but smile.

I return to the physical world enough to stand up on my feet and face where I need to go: the doorway back to the place where the evil lives and needs to die. Noriko stands in the doorway to the world of light, keeping it open. The love and peace and strength of the world of light swirls around Noriko and up into me, moving to her will and my need for final healing and energy to complete my task. She smiles. I look back at her, in that place, then want to tease and show her what I can do now that she's here where my power resides.

I'm suddenly in her and around her, filling her and surrounding her with my power so that she can understand it. It's the power of a protector, one who cares for others and understands the responsibility that comes with that power and role. 

I lift my face to it and to him, feeling what he feels daily and constantly. I'm glad that he's now comfortable with it, no longer afraid of it.

I land in front of her again, folding my arms. It's true. I am whole, one with myself like the world of light is one with all creation. Noriko is fully anchored, fully peaceful, just as strong -- a balance to me and a companion. She's still courageous, still sure. I shake my head at her. "Noriko-who-is-not-afraid," I name her.

"Izark-who-is-always-kind," I name him back.

I frown slightly. That's another way she sees me that I have trouble seeing. "Can I be kind when I'm angry?" I'm remembering my anger that Rachef has hurt her, made her afraid.

Noriko is compassion. It surprises me. She has compassion even for her captor? 

I hold out my hand, palm up. He puts his hand on it, palm down. I show him the memory of my time with Rachef, his words of emptiness, his expressions in his eyes, my argument/lecture and Rachef's reaction ...and all along, my own reactions, including my sorrow and compassion in the end.

"His walk through life has been hard, Izark. Now that we are in the world of light, when we see him we will understand and know him. There will only be compassion. You can't let it stop you from doing what's necessary. He's chosen starvation. The world of light has begged for release from this evil that stands behind him. The consequence must come.

"That in itself is compassion as well, for both the original priest of eons ago who still suffers under the ruins, and for Rachef. Anger is a strength, a warning, but it should never be wielded as the sword. Compassion and love are the arm and the sword for the world of light. Empathy the source. You will understand it."

I trust her for now. She's already understood more about this place that I still need to learn about. Because I want to protect her, for then and for now, I merge with her for longer this time, until we understand one another in a way that can only happen in this place where thoughts and memories cannot be hidden. When that understanding has reached the level it can, we end with gratitude that we've been given one another. I release her and we stand looking at each other once again. 

"I love you, Izark."

"I love you, Noriko. ...It's time to go." I gather myself and my energies up and return to my body where it waits on the planet. She follows me in her way until she is spirit next to me. We look at the dome of darkness. It now has taken on some of the aspects of the spirit that inhabits that place in Reinka. It stares at me in anger, unable to see Noriko or anything of the light.

He rises up to face the world and I follow, outside his core rather than up through it. He hasn't given me permission, and I don't need to.

His body has been shining with the light of the world of light, the same as mine, and the shadows that the source of evil throws at it dissolve away, unable to exist in that light.

As I rise to my feet, a great blast of energy is thrown at me. My shield is large with the power I contain within me now. The attack pushes me back but can't reach me. 

I'm not worried for him, but I ask anyway. "Are you alright, Izark?"

"Yes. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

His wings appear and extend -- his wings of light. The power that swirls around him is enormous. As large as the power in the world of light, yet he carries it like he carries the wings -- as if born to it.

My wings of light unfurl as I call on the full calm strength of the world of light. I approach the dome of darkness and four dark spirits arise out of it, the four spirits of the priests who served the priest of evil. They attack me and I cleanse them with the light, setting them free of their thousands-of-years prison.

They disappear silently, as weak in their age and darkness as all other things I've fought like them. Take away their connection to the evil dark emotions that trap them here and they become nothing because they had no living substance to begin with. 

He uses his fists, but it's the light within him that cleanses them and releases them from the world, the fourth one released with an energy ball filled with light sent its way.

I'm falling into the darkness of the door between this ruin near Ennamarna and the buried palace on the eastern continent. Because in the world of light distance nearly has no meaning, Noriko comes with me easily. The spirit tries to keep me out but the light passes through it like an oil lamp chases away the darkness of a room.

Neither have substance -- darkness and light -- but they have effects and darkness can only affect light if light allows it to. Naturally, all light will banish darkness. I am that light come to banish this darkness that has been allowed to grow too large.

"DON'T! Don't come here! Don't destroy my dreams!" With the desperate cry comes a strong energy blast that tries to prevent me from entering the space of the ruins. At first I shield against it but it wasn't the energy of a power that could harm. It was emotion and will only. With a gentle flap of my wings, I pass through it and scatter it.

I understand what Noriko understands because we are in the world of light together. She knows it's Rachef's mind, his emotions, and we are hearing them and feeling them. Whatever control Rachef might have had before on his emotions is gone now that I'm here to face him, whole and unharmed.

We can feel that he's already alone. Even his seer, Gorya, is gone -- of his own hubris and carelessness. There's only Rachef, and the priest -- the Source of Evil. That spirit is no support for Rachef. He is also only insubstantial emotions.

All of Rachef's memories: of his mother rejecting him as a child (I shiver as I relate to them very well), of Rachef killing her by pushing her down the stairs, being taken in by a kind man, then betraying him, his destruction of everyone who could have turned him to the light if he'd stopped and tried to understand and his repeated rejection of the light, even Noriko's last gesture, the last opportunity given to him by the world of light to turn away from the darkness. We see it all. And all through it is his insistence that only more and more and more of the things that don't satisfy will be an acceptable substitute.

Noriko sighs sadly to herself as I land on the top of a giant moonstone. I can understand now what she meant by being able to become compassionate for even one's enemy. Rachef and I are very similar. We chose opposing paths is the only difference.

There are many moonstones here, the majority of them massive, as tall as we can build houses and buildings, although there are all sizes here. Because we're in the world of light, we can hear the stones and the surroundings. Incessant desire. Gnawing need. Restless discontent. The place is full of obsession, obsession for those things that cannot fulfill. "I have to destroy them all. The Source of Evil survives because of these. They tie him to the world, and amplify his evil," I explain to Noriko. 

"Stay away from me! Stay away!" Rachef is screaming, his face full of impotent rage and desperation as he looks at me. "Get out of my sight!" The power of his emotions, and the energy of this place give the priest sufficient power to attack me, but my shield of light melts the attack before it can reach me, the same as before, even though this one is more powerful than the earlier ones were. He can no longer touch me.

Rachef takes in a sobbing breath and tries to reason with me, as the memory of his mother's rejection surfaces again. "Don't destroy this place..., please," he pleads. Then with more urgency he says, "It took me a long time to find this. If I can conquer this world and shape it according to my own design, I will be freed from these feelings. Despite all my success, I have never found peace. Not until I found this."

"This is peace?" I ask, but Rachef doesn't hear.

"Oh, Rachef, if only you could have heard my words, even just enough to experiment on them. That isn't right. How I wish you could turn your feet back." These are my words to him, but these he also can't hear. He isn't where he can hear or see the world of light, he has walked so far away from it.

When I don't respond to Rachef, he returns to panic. "My sanctuary! ...You cannot destroy my dreams!" His desperation hurts me and I can't look at him. I wish I could take this away for him, undo what he's done to himself. Noriko sends me the small reminder that to let him go is also compassion.

I sigh in my heart, and let the pain go. It's Rachef's pain. It's time to release him from it, even if we carry sorrow that it has come to this as the only way to do it. He won't on his own turn his feet back.

I turn away from Rachef to face the moonstones on the other side. With the power of the world of light I destroy all the moonstones in front of me, the full width of this wide cavern. We can tell it's circular, like a wheel. I spread my wings and begin to fly around the wheel, the moonstones crumbling into dust and shards in front of me as I go. Behind us, we hear Rachef's desolate scream, "NOOO!" as he stumbles through the standing moonstones to see the destruction I'm leaving behind me.

Rachef's soul's pain is heavy and we choose to block it out. We can't carry it for him. It's more power to the priest, however, and one more time that evil spirit tries to attack me, and once again it has no ability to. As I use the power of the world of light to destroy the moonstones, I'm also using it to cleanse the lingering spirits of this place so that they also can be free of this prison.

I take Izark's hand as Rachef's wails ring through the emptying room. Even with blocking it, it still hurts me. "He doesn't understand that it's this place that is preventing him from finding true contentment. He believes the lie that this is where it is. The path he's chosen in his life in an endless road to hell. The farther he travels on this road the worse his hunger becomes. There is no end to it the direction he's going."

I agree, "Unfortunately, he's already become a part of this place. When the moonstones lose their power, he will have to die. So...."

It's a thing I hadn't seen, but now that Izark points it out, I see it is so. Like the priest's spirit could linger here, caught in the moonstones, Rachef has already also become caught in them, his desires, will, and energies tied up in them.

"So?" I ask as we come around the final bend and Rachef is before us again.

I am compassion. I wish to give this brother one last gift before he also crumbles into dust and smoke. Perhaps we can help him one last time to find the strength to turn around and walk back towards the light where true fulfillment is. I fly directly towards him, pulling back my power as the last of the moonstones crumble beneath me. "So, before he dies, I want to show him the world of light."

I wrap my arms around Rachef's shoulders so he can't attack me and lift him up above the sands of moonstone. Rachef's body is already beginning to separate from his spirit, the loss of the moonstones taking the life from it. Noriko wraps her arms around him from the other side of me to anchor his spirit with us just long enough. 

"Rachef, this is the world of light. Look at it so you'll remember. Open your eyes to the world of light." Our combined warmth, the love and peace of the world of light, swirl around the three of us seeking Rachef's heart, trying to fill the hole that he has for so long starved. "Find out what you really are. You were always loved." Together we say it again, wanting him to believe it, because for at least the two of us, and the world of light, it's true. "You were always loved!"

With a quiet rustle, the last of Rachef's body disappears into ash and smoke. Above us the entrance to this place begins to close, there no longer being any energy or anchor for it to remain open. I use a powerful stroke of my wings to fly through the closing door and back to the ruins near Ennamarna.

Sadly I whisper, "I did all I could do for you, Rachef." We watch the doorway close, the darkness swirling closed until it's gone. "The rest is up to you. You must try to get back on your feet and crawl out to the world of light."

We hope that he will, but not many do. Those who walk so far from it rarely try to turn and come back to it, even though it will always welcome them, and gladly. If anywhere in his heart he considered Noriko's words to him before he died, there might be hope for him. I can only hold on to that hope for now.

"You can go back now, Noriko. I'll be there shortly, but since my body is here, it has to get there. Let the others know you and I are okay and we've defeated the Source of Evil."

"You could fly," she points out.

I smile at her. "I will, but only until I see the city. I don't think we need to let them see the full power, even now. There is still evil in the world and much work to be done. It will be easier to do it if we still look like ordinary people."

"With extraordinary powers," I tease him. He allows for that.

For just a moment Noriko yearns for Doctor Clairgeeta and turns that way. Because we're still in the World of Light together, I can feel her emotions still, and we can feel his. He's wondering about us, standing in the library of the university.

It takes a moment, then he looks up, then turns to see us. He smiles, happy to see we've accomplished the desire of his heart. He bows and I bow in gratitude for his hope, faith, and assistance when we needed it most. "Thank you, Doctor Clairgeeta," Noriko says with deep gratitude.

"No. Thank you. Both of you." We feel like we've just been thanked by the World of Light itself. We bow again and let the vision go.

I smile at Izark. "I'll see you, then." He nods.

I fall back down past all of his layers towards the door at his nexus, lightly trailing my hand along the edge of his core. He shivers lightly and teasingly scolds me. I tell him it's payback for sapphire eyes that morning. He laughs his silent laugh and I feel him bunch his wings and push off into the sky. Then I'm in the world of light.

I pause just one moment longer, giving long-distance hugs and kisses to my family, then I walk the step back to my body, and with one more, I enter it. Slowly I pull the energies and power of the world of light into me, like I did in the wagon the first time, until they are pooled in my heart and filling just my body, then I settle them and release them with joy into the world around me where they will increase life in this little place for a time.

I open my eyes and smile. "Oh! Noriko's back!" I turn and smile at Gaya. Zena's come up to the top of the wall and the Mayor is also with us. I stand and run to Gaya and we give each other tight hugs that last until we are both full. I pull away and she holds my shoulders, looking earnestly at me. "Are you okay? Did Izark win? The clouds went away."

"Yes, Aunt Gaya. I'm fine and Izark is, too, though he did get a few wounds early. The world of light has healed both of us, and the source of evil is gone. So are Rachef and Keimos. Light can overcome the dark again now; although, it will take the efforts of those who want it to."

She pats both of my shoulders at the same time. "That's good. That's good. Wonderful." I laugh at her, she's so happy. I'm glad.

Flight is natural to me, but I play with it to learn it properly, enjoying the sensation of being able to dip and turn, things that I could already do in my martial arts acrobatics, but now I don't have to land or have surfaces to push off from. I just use the wings for that.

I am careful to not blast the desert with my power. That takes more practice -- not being too violent with my wings. They are large and powerful so even light movements can move me sufficient distances. It's no wonder I left a large hole in Reinka. I would have used a very powerful sweep of the wings to escape.

When I try to see what that does, going straight up, I end up so high above the planet there isn't air to breathe. That's a marvel: to behold what's above the planet and beyond it, but I don't stay long. It puts too much distress on my body and I don't need to show up in Ennamarna to Noriko's worry and scolding.

I have to wonder if she's seen her own planet like this, or her people have. It's very obvious from there that the planet is round and that it does indeed go around the sun, rather than the reverse. I can sense there are other planets that circle our sun.

I'll ask Noriko about it the next time we have free time for a lesson. Now it's time to return and to be happy with Noriko and our friends that the end of the final confrontation has been the end I wished for it to be from my beginning.

I can feel Izark coming. I want to jump down and run to him, but this time, I don't. I'm about five stories up on desert rock. That wouldn't be prudent at all. "Izark's coming!" I call out. "Come on!" I pull on Gaya and race them down the stairs, running straight for him, leaving them behind.

I can hear Barago's barking laugh behind me and it adds to my joy. Izark catches me up in his strong, warm arms and we hug and kiss for a very long time ...until the rest of our friends join us. It's nice to finally be free of fear.

Chapter Text

I am in so much trouble. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I move any direction I'll be hated, but I have to fix this. Noriko won't answer to any request, emotional or otherwise, and won't let me come near her. Her anger was passed on to all of the ladies and they've all scolded me most soundly as they stalked out of the laundry area of the underground river caverns, carrying their wet burdens to the surface to dry in the sun. The fury of a woman is a very frightening thing.

The man who tries hard inside me wants to mope. I was only thinking of her after all. Now that I've defeated the Source of Evil, the seers are saying the world over that the Sky Demon chose light over evil, life over destruction. The good people of the world rejoice and the evil ones scramble, trying desperately to hold onto whatever power they can.

It will still take time to change things and people's minds, as well as all of the political situations that are falling apart. Still, Noriko doesn't have to be here for all of that. She can go home now. I can send her.

Yes, that does hurt me to say that, but the truth is, now that I'm connected to the World of Light I don't need to have her by my side as my prevention from becoming Destruction. I would miss her terribly, but I wouldn't die and I wouldn't become evil just because of that. I know how much she misses her family, and how much they miss her now that we can go to the World of Light and see them and know what they're feeling.

Gaya brought it up as they washed the clothing. I was coming down to join them, tired of sitting in the council room, getting odd looks, adoration, and far more attention than I wanted. I'd paused to hear Noriko's reply. The problem was, I was also worried about this issue at the same time and she picked up on it.

I'm struggling with the fact that since I allowed us to merge enough to truly understand each other, I once again have made an unintentional mistake. Our connection is so close now that sometimes the thoughts cross between us, not just the emotions. It's not all the time, nor even really consistent, so it's harder to practice and learn how to control it.

Surprisingly, it's my turn to be chaotic. Noriko's mind isn't like her emotions which are chaotic. Her mind is sharp, brilliant, and ordered. Only things she's focusing on are at the surface and even then they rarely pass between us. If I focus I can gain a glimpse of what topic she's working on.

My mind ...well, I'm so used to talking to myself in my mind to work things out I don't have many restraints on it I guess. I'm certainly repentant today and have promised myself to work much harder on it. I don't need to have these kinds of results. (I shiver again and try to breathe deeply.)

"I do miss them," I say to Gaya, "but I know they're doing well. This is where I've been brought and have good things to do. Besides, since I met you you've been willing to be family for me. Thank you."

Gaya pats my knee. We're in the catacombs under the wall of Ennamarna where the water runs, doing laundry. Farther up the underground river that splits into rivulets and streams as it goes under rock walls and around stalagmites are the baths. The water there steams as it comes up out of the ground. Here, it's not quite so much a steam bath, which is good. I get dizzy if I sit in the moist heat too long, although I love being clean whenever I want again. "Well, I'm sure it's still sad to not get to talk to them."

I wave it off, not wanting to talk about it. "Every child leaves their parents eventually. It was a bit sudden, but I'm okay."

I go back to my scrubbing, then realize Izark is near ...and worriedly gnawing on a thought that has caused doubt to rise in him. I sigh. It's pretty obvious from those clues and the conversation I was just having with Gaya what's going on. "I'll be back," I say quietly to Gaya, and head for him.

The seers of the world can see us now, I think, since we've walked in the World of Light and defeated the source of evil. They are saying that "the Sky Demon chose the World of Light" all over this world..., or at least this part of it that it affects. That has given good people courage and evil people worry -- which is good. 

Donya itself, because the City of Light repelled the government army and because of the good news about the Sky Demon, has already become a hotbed of civil war and the government has been toppled. The former prime minister, Minister Nash, had been hiding here in Ennamarna. He returned to the capital city two days ago. Zena says the people of Donya have welcomed him back and he's likely to be reinstated as Prime Minister within a month.

Everyone is happy to see the first steps of progress towards the light being restored, and the other leaders who are here, including Duke Jeida, are beginning to put together their plans to return also. That's made Izark think hard about what's next in his own life. Ah, he's gotten himself depressed.

I round the corner, "No! No, Izark!" I could have just mind talked, but this is one of those things that needs face-to-face time.

I've surprised him, because he was thinking too hard and not paying attention to me coming. "Ah! Noriko! What...?"

"Stop worrying about sending me back. I know you can. I know they're there and that's one of your gifts. We'll go when we retire ...or something. It's a gift you could send me, and that's enough. All the worlds are big enough that when one goes traveling to another side of it, then gets married and settles down, one doesn't return. Stop worrying on your own. I'm not leaving!"

I turn from him a half turn and put my hand to my mouth and put a little bit of tears in my voice, "Unless... unless you really don't want me." I turn my head away and sniff. "I thought... I thought you loved me."

I panicked. I tried to defend my thinking, then realized that it wasn't right. She was acting, making a point. Just as I realized it, she finished making her point. She sent a full wave of anger at me.

I froze. It's such an unusual emotion from her, particularly for me to be the target. I'd been worried until then it could happen, and tried to avoid it, but somehow I'd stepped right in the way of that which is the very angry Noriko.

"I've been walking beside you for how long now? I know what you are: a traveling warrior. I've been trying my hardest for this whole time to be someone who stands beside you in that position. I've never asked you to be anything else.

"I'm not a delicate flower -- not any more -- and you wouldn't survive without me next to you anyway, even if you have finally made peace with yourself. Our relationship has evolved again, but it hasn't devolved. I'm not a stay-at-home wife." 

The anger and hurt spilled out of her without restraint, drowning me.

I take a deep breath. Quietly and firmly I say, "Fix it, Izark," and walk away. I'll return to the laundry when I've calmed down.

That was even more scary than her fierce scolding. She's not recovering well, though. Her emotions continue to swirl around her, eating at her, and she won't let me help, nor even apologize. It's hard to be in her maelstrom. She's trying to keep it to herself as best she can now that the anger has run it's course and the other emotions have come up over it.

I had to deal with my own emotions, but that had to come after the rest of the scoldings I received. Noriko's words had echoed through the caves to where the other ladies could hear them and I've been roundly told that I'm a cad for thinking such a strong and loyal woman should be left at home to rot, or sent away a disgrace to her family, and after all the effort she's put into standing next to me, too.

Since that wasn't what I was thinking at all, I was rather peeved to be scolded for it. The frustration she would play with my own emotions to make her point got added to that, when she knew it wasn't a truth to begin with.

So as her anger swirled around in her, mine did in me. Like most things along our emotional connection, as that slowed down for both of us, and she went into regret and that slipped into depression, I wasn't too far behind. Those were mostly hers, but she wouldn't let me help her take them to their end, stubbornly refusing to let them go. She just pulled them more closely to her. I didn't like that. It made me feel ...slippery.

It's an odd way to put it. It feels like the goo of the special power of Sido. Like the slime of Nada. Like the whispered warnings of the beginning of those souls who become lost to their darker emotions to be food for the demons. If anything were to teach me that I'm not a demon it would be that. I find it anathema, not food. It's completely counter to the light.

I suppose that's why I'm most desperate to get her to let me help her. I know she wants to apologize, and I would readily forgive. That's all it would take. For Noriko to want to stand in the darkness confuses me, worries me.

I'm not used to her also being human and standing both in darkness and light. She's my source of light, she who showed me it both existed and could be within my reach -- for too long, I suppose. She also has the right to choose where she'll stand at any given moment. I... just don't want her to for this long. It makes me sad and hurt for her. I know it's not really where she wants to be.

I also need to apologize. I was thinking for her, rather than thinking of her. That's what she's angry about, I think. Instead of asking her what she wanted I was only thinking she should want to go home. It's taken me some heavy thinking to come around to understanding that's what she might mean about wanting me to fix something. It would be better if we could discuss our future together, rather than worry about it apart.

Honestly, it took Duke Jeida's thoughtful calm words to help me see it. Niana sent him down to talk to me. She worries instead of becoming angry or upset. That's what she was feeling as we told her our story for the first time, and why she opened her mouth to the mayor. She wanted for anyone to help us who could because she was worried about us. She was worried again when she left with the other ladies, worried that we were too angry with each other. She's kind, to worry about us like we're her own children.

I can't know for sure if that's what it is until I've talked to Noriko, so despite my terror that I'll mess things up again and not say things right, I'm hunting her. I'm keeping things at a constant worried emotional level, but trying to hide just how far I am from her physically. It's hard to do when that's our oldest and most practiced connection and I also follow that same link to find her.

When there's only one wall between us, I lean against it to pull some courage from its solid form and cautiously talk to her through the connection so she doesn't hear me being this close. "Noriko?"

There's a pause before she answers with a stern, "Yes?"

I can only press on. "...I'm sorry."

Again the pause, then a slightly softer, "...Thank you."

I let her know what I've tried to learn. "...What do you want?" She has a flash of a firm feeling that might be approval, but I'm not really confident.

At least he's figured out where he went wrong.

It was sufficient for her to answer to it, which is a lot better than what I was getting before. 

"If you really don't want to drag me around after you, send me home. But it isn't what I want. I love you. I'd rather have a real wedding while we're here with friends, then continue to travel with you, adventuring and helping this world fill with light and peace again, then go study with Doctor Clairgeeta, then open a university, or at least be a top person at one. But that's just dreaming." I've gotten depressed, of course. Can't fight and come off it without that follow-up.

Almost all of it was said rather calmly, like she's thought quite a lot about it, really, and I realize I'm quite late to the dance. It's very likely she was angry because I wasn't involving her in my thinking. I wasn't asking her what she'd already thought about. I'm definitely going to have to remember this lesson.

The last sentence, though, needs addressing in a different way. She was quite depressed when she said that one. She doesn't believe her thoughts have meaning or purpose, and perhaps that's also my fault in neglecting to wonder about them. I chance slipping around the corner into the little alcove she's hidden herself in. She ignores me even still, choosing her dark emotions over me, but there's something else faintly there this time.

Noriko's sitting with her knees pulled up, an arm wrapped around them, her cheek on her knee. Her other hand has a finger tracing through the dirt beside her. She looks rather literally like she's emoting: balled up around the pain in her belly and sorrow in her heart.

Because she's choosing to ignore me when she knows full well I'm here, I do as I please. I need to hold her, to comfort her, to help her escape from those feelings. So I settle down behind her, where she can't scratch me from so easily, and slip my arms under hers to hold her close to me and rest my head on hers lightly.

He slips his arms under mine, sitting behind me and pulling me close. My pain is too much for him and he's trying to comfort me physically since I've been ignoring his attempts to do it emotionally. Sometimes a girl just wants to wallow in all her emotions. They're hers, after all. It gets hard to be calm all the time. Plus, it isn't real. If he's going to have a wife, he needs to understand reality. I need help in reality. I'm not a stone, just an anchor. 

The physical touch does it and I can't hold back the tears any more, nor ignore his calm, quiet love and emotional apology any longer.

The healing hug does its job and breaks through her stubbornness.

I cry out the pain of the loneliness for both my family and him.

I anchor in my calm, quiet love for her and in my emotional apology and allow her to cry out her pain of loneliness. I'm surprised when it leaks out that she was lonely for me, too. That in keeping me away she gave herself that pain. That's what leaked through and I saw a glimpse of, what let her ignore me so I could come fix it. It's also loneliness for if I were to send her away. I sympathize with that one. I would be very lonely without her, too.

I'm again a little surprised when that emotion relaxes and the next one comes. When she cries..., her emotions are less chaotic? Or is it because she's had the time to feel them all already?

His thought of sending me away really was a rejection to me, and when that comes out he turns me towards him and holds me to his heart.

That surprise is interrupted by the realization of what this one is. It hurts terribly because it's another one I gave her all without understanding. I wasn't rejecting her at all. I was only concerned for her and her feelings towards her family. I don't want to send her away, not really, and I don't hate her.

It hurts enough for her and for me that I turn her towards me and hold her to my heart, as if I could merge with her physically here in this place. "I really am sorry, Noriko." She can feel the apology and acknowledges it, but her pain doesn't go away until it's been cried out.

That's my lesson as to why it's one at a time when she cries. Her tears help her clean them from her soul. We've done it this way before, but not with tears -- on her part. I cried them for her because she was too weak of body to do it herself. I sigh and relax a little better. It helps to have that worked out.

Then depression comes. I wait, wondering if this will be the same. Her tears slow but it doesn't go away.

Since I'm teaching him at the same time as I'm being overly emotional, I try to figure out what he needs to do to help that one. That's hard to do and keep the emotion around since my logical mind kicks in with all the reasons why the depression is pointless, but there's a final knot that won't let go and I don't know what to do about that.

It does start to lessen in intensity after a bit, but then stalls as if on a rock that won't go away. Since I only have one clue from what she said before, I try it.

"Noriko, you have wonderful dreams. I think it would be great if you could teach. I've been thinking that once the countries on this continent are moving forward again, it would be good to go over and help the eastern continent as well. Doctor Clairgeeta is a good man. He would be good for his country, too."

Because the City of Light repelled the government army and because of the good news about the Sky Demon, Donya has already become a hotbed of civil war and the government has been toppled. The former prime minister, Minister Nash, returned from here to the capital city two days ago.

Zena says the people of Donya have welcomed him back and he's likely to be reinstated as Prime Minister within a month. The other leaders who are here, including Duke Jeida, are beginning to put together their plans to return also. I've been thinking of going with them to help them as needed. I'll wait to talk to Noriko about it until after we have this fixed, though.

That does it. The knot unties and blows away. "Thanks, Izark," I say. 

That's an improvement, that she's willing to talk to me civilly. We sit for a minute, waiting to see if there are any stray emotions that still need to be dealt with. Those were the worst ones. There is one that's looking at me, but I'm not sure I know what it is.

We sit for a minute, waiting to see if I've got any more wild emotions that are going to rear up and stare at us in the face. I decide that I'm still feeling insecure, but it's because he hasn't said one way or the other if I'm staying.

I go looking at his emotions. He's worried about me, relieved we've worked out the worst of my painful emotions. Those are normal and expected, but they aren't what I'm looking for. I dive just a little deeper to skim the surface of the lake we respect. I'm feeling like a genie, arms and legs crossed, floating just above the water, looking down into it.

I touch the surface and ask and small ripples go out from my touch. Izark sighs, seems like he's going to speak, then relaxes and lets the emotions that have been driving his thoughts come up and look at me, like carp looking to see if they're going to be fed

Noriko decides to ignore it for now and emotionally asks what emotions I have that we should also address. I sigh. While I have some I'm not sure now is the right time. Ah..., never mind. She's asked for a specific set. She wants to know why I've been thinking of sending her back. That I should answer now. 

She's scolded me for the first one already, but it still has been part of the whole. I'm mostly worried for her, as usual. I'm worried for her safety, worried I'll be busy and miss something that gets through to hurt her while we're fighting together. Noriko sends back the feeling she has when she's holding onto the back of my jacket and she's watching my back.

I know that's what it's from because she sends me the memory of it at the same time. As I said, thoughts -- and memories -- are part of this new level. She can do that. I'm not sure I could do that. It's more part of her power in the world of light than mine -- the power of the mind.

A bit of my worry that he might not trust me enough because I'm not good enough slips through, too. He considers the package, then kisses the top of my head and sends back calm strength as that emotion fish slips back into the depths.

I consider what she's sent, then kiss the top of her head and send back calm strength as I put away the emotion. Her courage is what holds her at my back and keeps her from being worried. She isn't afraid. I'll remember that when the worry comes back again. (Some emotions and worries cycle through many times before they're put to rest. My fear was very much like that.)

I consider my anger, then decide that it won't be resolved here. It needs to be resolved by her, but with others than me. It's something she needs to fix, but I don't need to beat her over the head with it here. Instead, I send her the fear I have of her being angry with me. I don't really want to have it happen again. I'm not sure I like the grin that comes on her face. 

"You've lived through this one. They're all the same. I snap inside, growl and snap outside -- having my say -- then go cool off, followed by remorse, regret, and depression if it was bad. You've handled it well. I don't think that's a problem, really.

"And any husband should have just enough of a healthy sense of self-preservation, I should think." He gives a silent laugh, and that fish tremors as if with a shiver of fear. I sigh. "I'll try to remember to have a sense of relationship preservation at the same time, though."

I briefly squeeze her. That works for me. "Okay."

There are other emotions looking at me, but he surrounds me with his power and strength, pulling me up from my focus until I'm sitting warmly in his protection. 

She stays there to see if I'll show her anything else, but she still has one left of her own that isn't leaving me alone. I realize she's actually sitting in her internal pool of light --- well mine since she's looking at my emotions down where she sees them. Since she's inside me, I can move her. I surround her with my power and strength and pull her back up and into my arms, where she properly settles back into her body. 

It points out my remaining feeling of insecurity, but I just sit and wait. That's the proper thing to do, after all. I can't force his decisions and don't want to. ...Until he gets confused. Oh, he's expecting the protection to "heal" the insecurity.

I think that I'm doing the right thing for the emotion she has, since it looks like insecurity and typically when she feels protected and comforted in my arms that's enough. We sit long enough I get confused, though. It isn't going away. She unexpectedly giggles. "What?" I ask.

"Not everything gets solved so easily ...and we do really have it easy compared to everyone else. Everyone else has to guess at the emotions of their partner and can't do what we can. We've run into the same problem everyone else has."

"What's that?" I want to know.

"We have to use our words to communicate."

Well, yes. I'm learning that, too. She wasn't willing to let me help her until I came to do just that.

"I'm feeling insecure because you haven't told me yet what you've decided to do, what future path you're going to put me on."

Ah...? Oh. Umm.... How to address that?

We haven't actually talked yet, and I don't want to anger her again..., but after talking to Duke Jeida, it did occur to me that she probably already knows what I want to do generally. Having her tell me what she wants tells me that, too. We can still talk specifics at any time, but ...given what she said ...oh dear. This is going to be rather embarrassing and difficult, isn't it?

I'm not really as cool on the inside as the outside suddenly. I take a breath and settle back down, anchoring both of us again, since that was mostly him. 

I let go with one arm, and run my hand through my hair, trying to get my thoughts in order. As it gets more and more difficult, I rest my elbow on my raised knee to lean on my hand and look at her as directly as I can which isn't very. "This part is harder, isn't it?"

"Usually, but it's the most effective and necessary."

I look away unable to argue. Words may be hard to say but they are that.

I reach out and put my hand on his cheek to make him look at me again. "It's okay, Izark. I won't be angry or bite. I really do want to hear what you have to say."

I sigh. I would be just as happy continuing on with things like they've already been going, but she's asked, and I've already had pressure from the rest of our friends when she isn't around. They also want it and others are stern that we should have it, and before now even. I take a breath for courage. "Noriko, ...will you marry me?" The blush won't be held down now that I've had to say it.

You'd think we weren't already.

She's suddenly frozen, her eyes wide. All sorts of things go through me, but mostly the thought that if she's going to say she's already decided she wants a formal wedding rather than go home, she should have expected something like this, shouldn't she? (I try to ignore the small but sudden worry if she was hiding that she really does want to go home. We've already gone through this whole mess -- I mean lesson -- over that.)

I come down off my sudden shock and smile. "Yes, Izark. Nothing would make me happier. ...Does that mean I can ask Gaya and Zena and the girls to help me plan a wedding?"

To have it said so comfortably.... "...Yes."

I throw my arms around his neck. "Thank you, Izark!"

Her happy ecstasy swirls around the both of us. It's so sudden and huge I instinctively grab hold of her with my free arm. I would like to calm it down with that much, but it doesn't.

It's a lot better than the unhappy from before. That much makes me happy, but it's a bit hard to tell what's her happy and what's my happy with this much emotion rushing around us. Her emotions when they are like this are like when I use energy. It's even sparking here and there in small bright sparkles of light, bouncing around this little room. I'll have to watch and see just how many emotional attacks against people other than me can prove her emotions are the same as energy. Her scolds come to mind.

"Shhh, shhhh," I finally say with a laugh. "It's nice, but it's like being drowned again."

"I'm sorry," I say, "I can't... but," I take a breath and try to get the sparks to stop dancing around at least. It takes a bit until I've got it so the extreme "happy" is inside my skin instead of everywhere around us, but it's hard to contain it. "I'll let it out with the girls who'll be just as excited and happy as me. That will get it to settle down, sharing it with them. These kinds only do that, you know, settle when shared, but I know this one's too much for you."

I smile at her and put my hand on her head. "I'm glad you're happy." She tips her head and grins, the light inside shining brightly, but also contained. They go well together.

"Ah, does that mean you're okay with me following after you instead of hiding in your cave?" I'm suddenly calm, but worried, the happy taking a back seat for now.

I blink. "You move fast." Even that was out before I've caught up.

"Yeah, I'm a woman?" dryly said as if I didn't already know.

I disbelieve. "Really?"

She affirms, "Yup. Every one of us. I've been protecting you, you know, but I can't forever. You need to understand what reality is and how to deal with it."

I groan, thinking of all the ladies and not so much ladies who've cornered me and made me work for pay because they could. I've been through more drama than I care to live through already. She's heard many of those stories already and was sympathetic then. I suspect she won't be this time. "More lessons? It's really going to be harder?" This one was quite hard, actually, even if I have learned some really important things.

I laugh, "Yes, I'm afraid so." I look at him sympathetically, "But then, wouldn't life be boring?"

Not really. Not when you're around. But she means if she weren't. After a moment I sigh, "Yeah, I guess so." I'd have to go back to working for people I didn't want to if I wanted that sort of excitement back in my life. At least I get a much better end result if it's her.

I rub the top of his head, "We'll get to the end of the lessons and be an old married couple eventually, I'm sure."

Eventually! I grab her wrist, move it to my other hand, then rub the top of her head roughly, "Sooner!" I need to let off steam. This lesson has been too much.

She dives in and tickles me. She's too pleased at just how ticklish I am. I'm gasping for air early. What a merciless demon she is when she wants to tease. I can't fight back because I'm too distracted with working hard to not hurt her. I'm going to have to learn yet another level of control.

I learn it quickly enough. Just enough to finally get Noriko pinned down on the ground so that her tickling hands can't get to me. The laughter is still dancing in her eyes and on her face, but she relaxes and relents. I sigh in relief. I wonder if it's because she had to repress the happy. It came out in another way and we've laughed it out perhaps. It was hard for her to restrain it, after all.

I'm on my back looking up at Izark who's pinning both of my arms down in self-defense. The laughter is still dancing in my eyes and on my face, but I relax and relent. He sighs in relief. At some point his hair went blue. I'm not sure when. I wonder if it was with the effort to both defend himself and not hurt me. That would have been a difficult combination, perhaps. 

Her hand twitches and I'm suddenly alert and suspicious again, but she's looking at my hair. I glance at it, then raise a surprised eyebrow. I guess I had just enough control already learned from that practice. Carefully I let her hand go and she reaches up and takes the light blue lock that's hanging down in her fingers, curls it slightly around her fingers, and runs her fingers down the lock to its end. I'm wondering if I'll get my repayment for all of what I've just had to go through. Blue will do that to her, so I'm not preventing what she wants to do.

She tugs on the lock in her fingers gently until I lower my head just enough she can kiss the end of it. I can feel her desire rising and she represses it, wanting to just enjoy playing with my hair for a moment. I'm surprised she repressed it. All of the rest of the recent emotions have been rather explosive and that one is usually.

I watch my own hand reach up and slide the fingers into his hair, feeling the softness of it slip through and between them. Careful of any snarls that catch, I slowly slip my hand down the full length of his hair, fully feeling the sensation, repressing the shudders that threaten.

Noriko slowly plays with my hair, focused on the feel and touch, and continues to repress the shudders that go through her faintly. While she's quiet again, I have one more thing to say. "Noriko...," I say quietly to make sure I have the attention of her ears.

"Mmm?"

"Yes." She sends an emotional question. She's forgotten her own question. "Yes, I'm okay with you coming with me. I won't hide you in a cave."

My fingers have reached the end of the locks of hair and I grab them lightly between my fingers, then turn and look into his eyes soberly, "Thank you." He looks at me, then bends down and gives me a kiss.

The fight is over. I've learned an angry Noriko will punish me by putting me through more lessons than I have capacity to stand. It's my turn. I give her a kiss to hide my eyes from her and because I want one.

When I rise, my eyes are sapphire blue. Noriko stares into them and is lost until I kiss her again. This time she doesn't explode. Instead, I'm able to love her gently ...until she finally lets it out at the end. It isn't as wild as the other times. It's also very sweet and pleasant. I approve greatly. "Let's do that again."

"Later," I answer. "That took a lot of energy."

"It was very nice, though," I praise her, wanting to make sure we do that again later.

I smile lazily as I run my fingers through his hair, still blue just for me, "Yeah." I kiss the blue, tasting it one last time before it turns black again. I'm just as happy to play with black hair, but he puts a stop to it when it turns unconsciously into braiding again.

When her fingers go from calm to itching to braid, I put a stop to it and languidly stand. I lift her up to her feet. She's calm until she suddenly has wide eyes. 

I'm coming back to earth when it hits me. "Oh, no!"

"What?" I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Laundry! I forgot!" 

I give her a small smile then turn away, leading her out of the hidden alcove. "Gaya said she'd take care of it." That's all I'll say on that. She'll need to do what needs to be done and they'll surely let her know what that is.

He very firmly won't let me know any emotions, inside or out. I sigh. "Thanks." I think I might be in trouble.

Chapter Text

Leaving Noriko to go meet up with the ladies at the laundry drying lines, I continue on up the stairs to the hallway that leads to the council chamber. I lean on a window sill to watch her greet the ladies. They scold her for me and she apologizes. It's enough if she'll set them straight. I'm a little surprised that it's enough for her to tell them that I've agreed to the formal wedding. They decide to forgive me instantly.

I have to sigh. I'm not sure but that isn't more payment from me. She's not understanding again just what it means. Really, she's never understood what she is. This world has been waiting for generations, particularly the last three or four, for the arrival of the Awakening. Because the Legend of Light was buried away, scoffed at, and never told to anyone outside of this city and a few rare individuals, most people are -- or were until recently -- very afraid of this time. It wasn't just me.

She's been very sheltered by me and by our friends who've shown her only a little of that fear, certainly not as much as they could have. They knew her as the simple girl before they knew she was the Awakening. That made them confused, and eventually was to our benefit because they were able to see how we fit the Legend of Light. If it had been the other way around they would have rejected her (and thus me) before even trying to learn who we really are.

Now that Ennamarna knows who we are, and has been helped by me and has helped me protect her, this is the only city we could hold a public wedding in. The rest of the world is relieved to know the Sky Demon chose the light, but they don't know the rest of the story. Many are still afraid of the Awakening. Some think I killed her. Some think she never really showed up since no one ever saw her but me after the seers said she arrived, so I therefore never was changed into Destruction.

To learn that the Sky Demon was marrying the Awakening might make some think I changed her instead, but most would be not only shocked but would try to actively prevent it. Just because I chose light recently wouldn't mean she couldn't change me into Destruction later, particularly if we're so close as marriage.

The Legend of Light will have to be spread far and wide before the world will settle and we could let everyone know what we are. I'd be surprised if that happens in her lifetime. Likely we'll keep it secret anyway, except from the heads of state who may need to know who we are. (The leaders here have asked me for at least that much. ...We'll see.)

As the ladies get into the details of the wedding planning -- me listening in with half my attention so I can learn more about Noriko's world's traditions -- I can only sigh and put my head on my arms.

"Izark?" Agol's steps and words are still soft and kind around me. Watching us these last several days has made his own pain rise to the surface and he wants to help me. I let him approach this time. Now is the time to practice being a friend and having friends. I do want them to be that, for all I don't know how to go about doing it.

I shift to the side, standing against the side of the window opening and fold my arms, to let him look out the window with me. His eyes find the ladies of our group rather quickly. "They're rather animated."

I nod but don't look at him. He looks at me and judges what he sees. "You're not very happy, though. Care to talk about it?"

I ponder what I want to say. It's likely to come out as randomly as my mental meanderings, except I don't like to talk that much. I finally sigh. "She asked for the formal wedding."

Agol stiffens fractionally. He puts a hand briefly on my arm, then removes it. He knows I don't really like the physical comfort, but I know others need to express their emotions that way sometimes. That was about right for both. "What is it?" he asks quietly.

"The world won't accept it," I say almost bitterly. "As long as they can't see us specifically to know who we are, we can escape being hunted down." I take a breath and look around the expanse of the inner fields of the city where they grow their crops, watered from the underground river. "Here it will be okay."

I look at him from the corner of my eye. "I'd rather not be locked into this as my prison for the rest of the time we're on the planet." Agol shakes his head, understanding both what the reaction of the world will be and what all of my concerns are. It's rather obvious (except to Noriko and those who've been pushing me).

Really, half of the push is coming from those who know she keeps me walking in the light. They know it's really the reverse of what the world fears. If we're not married, there's the possibility someday I could revert back into Destruction, not having my anchor of light here to help me prevent it. I don't think it could happen -- not any more -- but even I can't guarantee it, so I don't argue.

I suspect Agol falls under that category, but it doesn't bother me. I'd almost rather that be the case than the other. At least then I can know he supports us as we continue to try to walk the direction we want to go.

"She still doesn't understand," I say quietly. "I don't really want her to. I don't want her to know how much this world fears her. It would make her too sad." Likely sad enough to want to go home.

I hang my head. Really there are so many reasons she should want to go home and most of them she doesn't even know ...and I selfishly can't tell her. I want her to be able to be here happily if she's determined to stay.

"She won't go back?" Agol asks. It's the other hope of those who fear her being here, that she'll just leave peacefully. Those would hound her mercilessly, trying to make her want to go back until she did and left our world in a non-thinking peace.

I shake my head. It brings back the painful fight of this morning, but he doesn't need to know about that. I think all of our friends understand by now that it's she that refuses to leave my side. Even Banadam had that pounded into him by her. He mopes and gives me glares still, but I think they're warning glares that I'd better take care of her properly since she won't let him do it.

"Hmm," Agol leans on the other side of the window frame and folds him arms, mirroring me. His eyes are also on the ladies, but he's thinking. His eyes go to one in particular. "The Duchess will make it into a formal noble affair, too." I can only groan slightly and he gives me a sympathetic look. Then he turns enough to really face me.

"You know, weddings are very stressful, but they're also very significant. That is, significant to the people being married. It's the time you're really letting your special someone know just how much they mean to you. To have the courage to do that publicly is to tell all those who witness it that, too.

"It's okay to want it to be small and quiet, but it's also okay to include in it what you want to remember into your future together. I'm going to assume that you're having it here not just because no one will kill you for doing it, but also because the people you care about are here." Agol raises an eyebrow at me.

I give him a dark look for just saying the former outright, but have to agree with the latter. "Even she knows we'll all be going separate ways. It's not likely we'll all be together in one place again."

He gives a faint nod, his eyes going distant. "And I'll also assume you've told her you'll do it because you want to see her happy and it's a gift you can give her, even if it is difficult."

I don't answer, but the heat in my ears and neck answer that sufficiently. I'll assume every groom feels that way about weddings.

He looks back out the window to the ladies again. Softly he says, "You'll survive it and then do what you always do to keep moving forward. It's worth it, in the end, to see the expressions on her face that day, and then get to hold them with you forever after that."

I look away at that one. I would like that, to be able to hold her happy expressions of the wedding day for forever when I'll only get to hold her for as long as her life. To have my own emotions of gratitude and love for her, and knowing I was able to give her that gift to go along with them would be good. Certainly I've had to do far more embarrassing things in public for lesser reasons than that. Calco comes to mind, but it wasn't the worst.

I sigh. "I'll need constant reminders."

"Can do," he answers. He looks like he's remembering that he needed his own.

I face him, now. "What are you thinking of doing next?"

Agol shifts into a more comfortable position. "I'd like to keep helping. It worries me to drag Geena around with me as a child, but she always smiles and tells me she's just glad she can come with me. I had to leave her with my mother before and that made her miss me too much."

He looks away. "I took the job to come look for you two because I both needed to have her with me for it and because I could bring her. I couldn't take her with me out fighting before that." That makes sense.

After a bit of a pause, I say, "I'm glad it was you and not Keimos." He laughs a brief agreement. If Noriko had landed in Keimos' lap he would have killed Noriko before the bullies reached her. Then he would have killed the bullies for sport. It's not a good thought so I stop going that direction.

"Actually," Agol continues, turning a bit red and still not looking at me very much, "I'd like to keep helping you and Noriko. You're both patient with Geena, and I think you could use a dedicated seer. Not only to know where to go to help people while things are being put right again, but after. If the leaders of the nations need you, Geena would be there to tell you. I'll have to take care of her for all her life. If I could serve in your house for all of mine, I think that wouldn't be a bad thing." His eyes turn to look back into mine.

I fight the embarrassment down. I was going here. "I'd also like the additional sword at my back to watch Noriko. She's insisted she's going to keep walking my path with me. When we get to settle down, I expect to be wealthy enough to need help with the household. She's already begun earning enough that I won't have to work by the time the world's settled. We'll likely be a busy but quiet household. She wants to be at the university to teach, plus continue her research."

Agol's eyebrow raises at my claim that Noriko's going to support us, and at such a level, but I maintain an honest, sober face. I watched the ladies that day. If she's told even one other blacksmith about her other world technology, made him write up a contract, and had ladies that excited, she's not done. She's a better negotiator than I am. She didn't let the opportunity to earn coin pass her by.

Since Agol was already thinking it himself, he only nods to the rest. It fits with his personal preferences as well. Quiet stability after all the early chaos is over will be good for Geena, and she can help with what she can, even if it's to keep Noriko company while I have to be off in another country for my own work. I look out the window and we dicker briefly his salary as I watch the ladies again.

Noriko's smile is large and I can feel the happy she had to contain for me is becoming calmer as she shares it with the other ladies. It's good to be able to see her so happy finally.

Izark leaves me before we get to the surface, where the ladies will be hanging the wash out to dry in the sun. "Noriko!" Anita and Rottenita run up to me. "Are you okay? Did Izark make up properly?" My eyes fly wide open.

They've grabbed my wrists and are dragging me to everyone else where they're waiting, sitting under the shade that the laundry on the lines provides. Glocia stood up as well, but when they were faster on their feet, she chose to wait for them to bring me to her. Gaya and Niana are looking at me carefully, and sympathetically. Now I'm really feeling like I'm in trouble.

Glocia crosses her arms and scowls. "I hope he did. I couldn't believe it, that he would want to keep such a strong woman who's stood by his side all this time locked away in a house somewhere while he goes gallivanting around the world being a hero. He can't do that to you, Noriko. It just isn't right."

"Ah," I hold up a hand, now that I have one free from Anita's grip, "he didn't say that. I did."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't say much. That means if you say it, he's been thinking it."

I shake my head, my eyes wide. What have I done? What a mess. "Wait. You all heard it?"

They all look at me, then nod as one group. "The sounds from where you were echoed quite nicely down for the rest of us to hear it, dear," Zena says quietly.

I blush bright red and I can feel steam rising off my ears. "I'm sorry, Izark," I send tentatively. I get an arched eyebrow and a "take care of it" kind of feeling. I send back a humble, "Yes, sir," answer.

"Please," I beg the ladies, "I was only angry in the moment because I was insecure. We've never thought about what comes after, at least not much." I'm getting pursed lips and scowls still. "No, really, he came and properly apologized and I did too, and we talked about it, and made up. It's okay now, really."

I can't help it, the happy wants to explode again, so I smile brightly. They pause and give me raised eyebrows and expectant looks. "He asked me to formally marry him and said we can have the wedding before we all leave here, since it may be hard to get us all together again for a while. Will all of you help me?"

That does it. They're perfectly happy with that outcome and they share my happy rainbow with me until we're settled down to the serious business of planning the wedding of the Sky Demon to the Awakening.

"Colors?"

"Blue. Deep sapphire blue, and white."

"Officiator?"

"Mayor Mardwoog for legality, but can Duke Jeida participate as well?"

They discuss that until Niana's presented a workable, legal solution we all like. She's a great wedding coordinator. For all she's ditzy, she's a great Grand Duchess when it comes to hostessing and planning activities. She keeps all the details in her head with ease, not leaving out any of the important formalities or niceties.

We spend a good couple of hours where they tell me what the ceremony is like on this world and I tell them what it's like on mine, for my culture since it's the one I know. After some consideration, since I want to do things right for this world, they allow that I can ask Agol to "walk me down the aisle" and Geena to be flower girl. They aren't traditions of this world, but we can add them in without too much trouble it seems. I'm happy with that.

"Here you are, Izark! Agol." Barago nods at Agol as he confronts me. "You keep escaping the council and the men of the city are disappointed."

I roll my eyes at him. "Like I need to be deified. I'm going to go with Noriko's firm claim. I'm just a wandering swordsman who happened to get an odd fortune at birth. Can't we leave it at that?"

Barago laughs at me, then leans over my shoulder, because he couldn't just look out the window between the two of us. "What is it?" It doesn't take his eyes very long. "Ah. Watching over her even when it's only laundry?" He knows why I do it. He was there at the house when Wazalotte's people showed up. I ignore the tease.

There's a pause, then he says, "What are they talking about? That looks like a serious meeting."

"It is," Agol answers. "Wedding planning committee meeting."

"Seriously?!" A heavy hand slams down on my shoulder a few times. "Congratulations! You managed to open your mouth did you?"

Once I'm not being jarred too much, I answer quietly, "She asked for it. ...But yes, I did." I take a breath and lightly sigh it out. "I haven't ever seen her happier."

That calms Barago down. I think sometimes he teases just because he wants to know I'm a living emotional being. Noriko's told me I hide emotions pretty deeply. Maybe he's trying to crack through the mask he sees. If I say it openly, maybe he'll tease less.

"Good, good," he nods. "It's good to make the Lady happy." Then he shivers slightly. "Especially that one. Angry Noriko isn't someone to trifle with."

I nod in sober agreement. His small scold pales in comparison to what I went through this morning. "Angry Noriko spills over into as many women happen to be around, just like happy Noriko," I warn him, looking down on the happy gathering. When he wants to know how I know, I don't answer.

Agol steps in to calm Barago down. They did that at the house, too. If Agol thinks Barago's overstepped his bounds he scolds. That's why I asked Agol first. I turn a look onto Agol. "What's Barago doing next?"

Barago's slightly offended I've ignored the fact he's standing there, but Agol gets his attention. "You've said you were thinking of continuing to help the work to reinstate good men back into office, but have you thought past that yet, Barago?"

Barago shifts to stand between us, but not too close. He rubs his chin, then folds his arms, and his eyes stare at me. I continue to pay attention but watch Noriko. She's listening to Niana's explanation of some of our world's wedding traditions, now that she's done talking about her world's traditions. "I've already decided to stay by Izark's side. He stole me away from a lucrative position. He can repay that."

"With what coin have I paid you to stay there?" I complain at him without turning around. "And with what pay will a wandering swordsman continue to pay you?" Agol can't help the secret smile but Barago doesn't know what I've told him yet.

"The coin you just stole from the Donya army," Barago won't let me get away with that. "You carried six bags full of gold out of there and could have taken more if you could swing a sword at the same time. That's enough to be wealthy for a long time. I would think you could share a few coin with me since I'm going to help you protect Noriko."

"Haven't you gotten your own coin from that already?" I say back. I've already told them about asking the council for coin from the army coffers.

"Well, yeah, but I'm talking about for after we leave here. That much paid me for following you around before now."

I roll my eyes and let Agol take back over the negotiations. I want to know how good a negotiator he is, although I think it's reasonable. He never overspent when he went into town while we were at the house. When that negotiation is done, I add in at the end, "...and it's for life, Barago. You've chosen it, it will stand."

He blinks in surprise, then turns to Agol to complain, but Agol interrupts him with a raised hand and explains. By the time he's done Barago is content, like I already knew he would be. Barago turns back to me. "Are you going to bring anyone else in?"

"No. We don't need more than the two of you. It will be a simple enough life. I'm expecting she'll go between universities, actually, so we'll likely leave the two of you on this side to see to the house. She won't leave Doctor Clairgeeta's side over there. I'm planning on asking him if we can stay with him when we're there."

I give them a sly look. "He won't refuse. We've been his research for his whole life, after all."  They both laugh at that. It won't bother me. He's a calm person full of light and can keep me company when she gets lost in her research. "We'll want Geena on this side then anyway so Noriko can make sure her projects on this side stay going well while we're there."

Barago's brow furrows. "Have you actually talked to her yet about all of this?"

"In summary," I admit. "We still need to talk about the details, but I've watched her this whole time. She already has large plans since she's decided to stay. I'll have to hold her back and hold her down. She wants to move fast for this world."

I look at them both soberly. "Her world is far more advanced than this one and she can't keep her mouth closed. She insists she was still only a student below the level of university, but our universities can't touch what she knows."

Their eyes go wide. "And ...she wants to teach it?" Agol finally asks. He's understood. 

Barago gives a low whistle. "If she sold that, you would be wealthy." I agree silently again. They both look out the window at her more soberly. "She could be more dangerous in ways no one understands."

I sigh. "Thus why I'm not happy to have a large wedding." Well, one of the reasons.

"And why you'd send her home," Barago points out. It's irritating that like Noriko he can always understand things too easily, and says them out loud. I don't answer him, though. It's rather obvious. He looks at Agol, who shakes his head, telling him I've already said she won't go. Barago sighs. "Well, I guess it's good to know your woman won't leave your side. Don't have to worry about ever being jealous."

I snort a laugh. "Like that stops anyone?"

Agol tries to get me to forgive Banadam again, but I shake my head at him. "It happened frequently. I had to chase them off in every village we went to, and the farmer's son never forgave me, even though she and I slept in the same room in his own house every night." Their eyes go wide and Barago laughs for a long time.

Now that I know what it is, I think it's because they could see the World of Light in her and it drew them. That's actually a good thing, I suppose. It meant they were decent enough people themselves -- and they were and are -- it was just annoying.

The ladies are getting into the details now. "So, help me plan. She's going to ask what I want soon. I've never been in a wedding, only been used to make others jealous enough to get them to finally ask." Agol smiles a small smile and Barago is humored yet again, but they help me so that when Noriko does ask I have things I can tell her.

There's one important thing to do before we get too far into the wedding planning. Once they've helped me come up with what to tell Noriko, I send Agol and Barago to the council chamber. Agol to talk to the mayor and Barago to find the men who've been part of our journey to this place.

I soak up Noriko's peace and contentment while alone for a while, then make my slow way to the council chamber. Barago meets me along the way to let me know the men are gathered. He walks in behind me in his place as guard and retainer.

It's interesting to me that I can still remember my lessons as a child in my parent's manor home for proper lordship. I never thought I'd use them after I left there, but I expect I'll use them a lot with people saying I'm going to be facing kings. I did have to use them on the servant's side in my wandering swordsman work, but this is what I was born to: to be the noble. I hope I can stay a minor noble. That would be fine.

Perhaps that's what Noriko saw when she said I was the Fairy King on the ship. I was being like that to the ship's captain, I guess. I sigh at myself. I'm the one who said he wanted to become the Fairy King, and I guess here I am finally. It makes my insides squirm just a little. I also didn't really expect to get here, even if I did want to be able to walk next to Noriko's fanciful Fairy Queen. It was as much role playing for me as her at the time.

How is it that such things eventually become reality? I understood the part where inside we become it, but how that affects others on the outside of us was something I hadn't properly considered. I'll have to do that next.

The men I've called are already standing near the Mayor with Agol. "Is there anything else you wanted to add?" Noriko asks me.

I tell her everything else is fine as I approach the Mayor to bow to him slightly. "According to the traditions of our world, I would like to properly announce my engagement now that I'm in a place where I can." I sent Agol in to stand in the stead of my father. He's already made his statement.

"Please call for the bride," the Mayor requests. He's trying to hide his delight. We will make Ennamarna a place of history yet again.

"Come here," I request of Noriko.

"Where are you?" she asks.

"In the council chamber." She should just be able to follow our connection, but her mind is full of other things, and when she's relaxed she doesn't remember anyway, just like at the farming village. I don't mind. It's a simple thing to say and I'm glad she can be relaxed. I think she might not be for very long, unless she's a lot stronger than I am when it comes to being in the public eye. Sometimes she is.

She's not so calm suddenly, but Niana, Gaya, and Zena are with her to explain.

"Okay. Be there in a bit. I'm on my way. ...Izark's called for me. Can I meet back up with you in a few?" Gaya and Niana look at each other. 

"Where is he?" Gaya asks.

"The council chamber."

Zena nods and they rise, "No, we'll come with you."

Okay. That's made me nervous, "Okay?" I'm being followed by an escort of ladies. On the way, Zena picks long-stemmed flowers from the garden the city residents carefully tend so they can have happy sunshine in their days.

By the time we're nearing the council chamber, she's putting a crown of flowers on my head. I duck a little as she puts it on and look at it askance. "Okay. I'd really rather know before we walk in. I don't do so well with surprises. It makes my head stop working right."

Niana pats my back and smiles her vaporous not-so-reassuring smile. "It's okay. He's just going to ask the Mayor." I take a breath. I wondered if it might be something like that, but I really needed to know ahead of time to be mentally prepared.

We ladies walk into the council chamber. It isn't meeting time so things are pretty relaxed around this time, usually. Somehow, we've fallen into a semi-formal arrangement, where Gaya and Niana are both right with me, Zena and Glocia behind them, and the girls behind them.

Izark, who's been paying attention to my approach, is standing in front, just to the side of the mayor, and is looking at me. He's got Agol, Duke Jeida, and Barago with him. The other boys are arrayed behind them, and as I glance at them, I see Banadam's got a blush and a sad look going. Poor guy. Has he really still been fantasizing in his head this late in the game?

The way is clear for me to walk up to the front. It's like I've been summoned without me getting to hear it. I do my best to stay calm as I walk up to stand in front of Izark and the Mayor. Izark's been staring at me the whole time. I look into his eyes questioningly. He looks back calmly, but just a sparkle comes through as well, and I can feel the ownership of the dragon for the treasure.

I turn to face the door to the council chamber when Noriko's close. The room has been whispering in confusion since I didn't send anyone out to fetch Noriko to answer Mayor Mardwoog's request.

Noriko walks into the room with a flower crown on her head, followed by Gaya and Niana and the other ladies in procession. She unknowingly gave them the positions of mother and head lady in waiting when she turned to them to understand the wedding traditions. They're both pleased, and good choices for it, in my opinion.

When Noriko looks at me with a question on her face, I can only smile. I'm very proud of her. She continues to move forward with courage and grace.

I hold out my hand for hers. When we're holding hands I turn us to face the Mayor and bow slightly again. She bows with me, following my lead. "Mayor Mardwoog, please accept our announcement of intention to marry. We would like to complete the wedding while we're still surrounded by friends and those who support us. May we have your permission?"

We need the mayor's permission to get married?

Mayor Mardwoog smiles. "I'm sure the citizens of Ennamarna would be happy to host it, Izark and Noriko. Thank you for allowing us to participate in such an auspicious event. Surely all other cities will be supremely jealous that the City of Light was fortunate enough to see the Sky Dragon and Awakening joined in marriage."

Ooohh. That kind of permission. I smile. "What better place than the one that has always been the location of those who love the light? We already can't repay you and Ennemarna for the service you've given to us. To ask more and have it received so kindly ...thank you," I say.

Noriko is as gracious as ever when she plays the Fairy Queen. Mayor Mardwoog's eyes sparkle, "We'll consider being able to host your wedding as payment enough. Have you chosen your specific requirements yet?"

I nod and turn to the ladies behind me. "Please work with Grand Duchess Niana. She'll handle the details as the coordinator, with the assistance of Gaya." I indicate the both of them. I'm about to the end of my rope, though. I'm swimming in deep waters without any flotation or knowledge of where the bottom is. I'm making it all up as I go along and hoping it's right, having been put on an empty stage with only a spotlight on me and no cue cards.

The Mayor is nodding as if we're still on the same page. That's some small comfort. He asks a question, but he's looking at Niana and she steps up and answers. I stop listening for a while and just let her run with it, trying to keep my nose above water. I've already told her what I want. I'll trust her to at least include those things.

I get the feeling, though, as the words float around me, that it's a much bigger deal than I was expecting. I mean, we're just a wandering swordsman and simple young woman, right?

Noriko is swimming in deep water, not knowing the traditions, so I pull her closer to me by tucking her hand in my arm so that Niana can properly face Mayor Mardwoog. I'm also just as happy to have Niana take over, and Agol. They've both already been married so know what they're doing, and they know what we want. That would be why I called for him before coming here. I'm also swimming in deep water.

The city has become very busy with wedding preparations. Agol keeps my schedule, and I've let him know I don't want to be standing around doing nothing. I'll have to panic if I have time to think. I've even been carrying heavy loads around to the protestations of many who don't want me to work for my own wedding.

I only smile and say I want to help those who are being so kind to Noriko and I. Then they can't complain quite so strenuously. Some of the older married men understand, and some merely laugh at me and shoo me off as soon as I've put my burden down. Still, I would rather do what I can to help. That would normally be my responsibility, after all.

Noriko and the girls were busy with their own preparations yesterday. Today I know they'll surface at some point to shop, so I'm keeping a light connection to Noriko open, mostly on the emotional level since that's where she's the least controlled still, and other than keeping my thoughts to myself, it's where I still need practice.

I know she's come outside because the burdens pressing down on her lift. She goes to surprise, seeing for the first time what the city is turning into. Then it's slight frustration, then fear.

Ah, wrong. I'm looking around at all the preparations going on in the bowl of the City of Light. Decorations from one side to the other. A stand being prepared with a whole field of seating. A large number of fire pits dug and firewood stacked up next to them. Large -- I mean large -- cast-iron pots suspended above the fire pits. Long tables waiting to cut and prepare the food and another set to serve it from.

The girls and I have been busy inside with other types of preparation for the last day and we are finally coming out for fresh air and our shopping trip. I grab Glocia's sleeve. I haven't seen her mother since we were in the council chamber, and Gaya's been just as scarce and the girls say Zena's with her. "Ah, Glocia..., what - what's going on?" I'm staring around at everything.

She glances around, then shrugs. "This is pretty rustic, actually, for a princess. Even more so for the Awakening and Sky Demon. They're a little concerned you won't find it quite up to your expectations."

I stop looking around and stare at her. "What?! Who?"

Glocia waves her hand, "Mom, the city, you know."

I put my hand to my head. "Glocia, if it's just your mom, then tell her she's fine and doesn't have to work so hard. If it's the city, I probably can't stop that. I really was expecting a small ceremony in the council chamber. That would have been just fine."

Glocia and the other girls frown. "But Noriko, everyone wants to see it," Rottenina pouts. "You did say you wanted to repay the city, after all."

I raise my eyebrows at her, then shake my head. "Okay, but I wasn't quite prepared for this. I need to rearrange my expectations." I turn to Glocia. "So..., according to this world's perspective of Izark and I, we're a big deal."

She nods. "Big enough that this is the wedding of the age," she answers, trying to help me set my expectations correctly.

Inside, I'm frozen. I blink. God. It's the Princess Diana wedding all over again. "So..., you're saying that if the world knows the date and time, they'll all be looking into their scrying glasses and seer's pools and watching from all over the world."

She nods. "Of course."

Of course, I say sarcastically to myself. No we won't be paying for this wedding. The city will get so much publicity they'll be the hot vacation spot (literally and culturally) for years to come. Like forever. I blink a few more times, then take a breath. "Right."

I wonder if Izark, or I, will be able to walk across that stage. Neither of us like being in any kind of limelight, not really. I guess we'll have to be Awakening and Sky Demon, Fairy Queen and Fairy King to the full hilt for this little shindig to make it through it. It's hard to breathe for a minute. I crouch down and put my head on my knees, trying to not faint.

"Eh?" the girls are surprised. Glocia puts her hand on my shoulder. "Is it that bad?"

I snort. "Only if you remember that I'm a quiet book-loving scholar who just got told I have to stand in front of the entire world and not look nervous or trip over my own feet."

Glocia actually laughs. Probably the first time I've heard it. "That is actually hard to remember, Noriko. You don't act like that very often."

"I don't get to," I moan, "but it's really what I am."

She pats my back sympathetically. "I'm sure you'll do just fine," she says, trying to help.

My stomach twists into a knot. "Do we get to practice a few dozen times first?" I ask, hopeful.

Glocia blinks. "Practice?"

I push her over onto her backside and scowl at her. "Don't say you were serious just now."

She shakes her head at me. "But, Noriko, I was."

Tears threaten. "Glocia," I'm nearly begging. "I can fake it through a small council meeting, but the announcement to the Mayor was more than I could do. None of you helped me know what I was supposed to do or say and what was expected. I'm not from this world. And I'm not a princess in my own."

Glocia is almost in a panic. "But..., Noriko, you did wonderfully!"

I shake my head angrily. "No, I turned it over to your mother and fainted, inside. I don't even know how I got out of the room." I drop my head back to my knees. "If we don't practice it, it will be the most comedic event of the era, not the most special. I won't even be able to show up." I try not to, but the tears come anyway.

I stop what I'm doing. I think I might know what it is, but that combination in the past has always presaged bad things for us, so I don't want to just assume. Agol wants to know what it is. I tell him, "Noriko's calling. I'll return later." He nods. He knows she comes before any work to be done.

Noriko's emotions are roiling and fear and panic are the strongest. They pull at me and my own that I've been burying very tightly as far down as I can get them. I run to her quickly, jumping over things in my way if I need to, until I can see her hunched down over her knees. Glocia is sitting on the ground in front of her, as if she were pushed. Noriko looks very much like she wants to throw up, actually. The panic inside is rather like that, too.

Suddenly I'm in strong warm arms. I'm surprised at first, but Izark's sending me such waves of concern and comfort that he's actually overwhelming me for once and I turn to him and sob into his jacket. 

"What is it?" I ask, concerned now that it's been something between her and Glocia, who's sitting puzzled and concerned in front of me. "What happened?"

"Ah...," Anita isn't sure what to say.

"Izark," Glocia says, concerned, "it's too much. She's overwhelmed. She wasn't expecting it to be so big." I reach out my hand to Glocia and give her the support to rise up from her undignified position. It's as I thought. "She's asked if the ceremony can at least be practiced so she knows what to expect." Glocia frowns a little. "It's a reasonable request, actually, since she doesn't know."

He tightens his other arm around me as she explains. His concern lessens and that helps me calm a little better. 

I'm suddenly glad Noriko has her own solution that will help me, too. I brush her head with my hand. "It's the fear of the unknown, then?" I've understood. "Alright. I'll set it up with Niana and the mayor."

"How can you be so calm about it?" It comes across more bitter than I intended and I send an immediate apology for that after it.

I'm not offended. She's been too busy to consider anything other than herself and her tasks. I allow her to peek at the emotions I'm hiding. Because they're the same as hers, I block them back up quickly. We don't need to be overwhelmed by them.

"Actually, I'm glad you've pushed for the practice. I'd rather not trip over my feet either. My legs are longer so I'm more likely to do it than you. And..., they expect me to know it, too, for some reason. It will be easier to say it's because you come from another world."

I beg to disagree, but I don't. He's always so graceful, but he's as nervous as I am. "Yeah, I don't mind being the reason. Even you need to uphold your reputation."

That embarrasses me, that she should think I would want to show everyone a proud face, but she's firm in her insistence that if the wedding will be this formal, then we should meet the expectations about what the Sky Demon is. "Thanks, Izark," she says as she finally calms down.

I kiss the top of her head, a little surprised at how lonely I'm suddenly feeling. We've been separated by our tasks and she doesn't visit with me during the day when she's so focused. I haven't wanted to interrupt her, either, since I don't want to be a distraction from important things. "You'll make up with Glocia?"

"Yes."

"Okay." I stand, bringing her with me.

I wipe my eyes and face. "I'm sorry, Glocia. Thank you."

Glocia looks away and shrugs, uncomfortable, "Well, we should try to remember, but it's hard sometimes when you look like you've got it all under control most of the time."

I sigh. "Well..., I'll try not to pretend I'm okay when I'm not, then, so you can know sooner."

I shake my head at her. That's not what it is, and she should be honest with her friends. She's unable to face them, or perhaps it's the truth she'd rather not face, but I think this is important. It's also more like her to want to be honest with them. Perhaps she doesn't see it.

"Noriko's always been afraid, Glocia, since she got here, but has never been able to be anything but strong. It will be easier if you just assume all the time that she's afraid, then be wrong when she's not.

"Her world is so different... there really is no comparison. It has countryside, cities, and towns; families love each other; and nations war or have peace, but that's all that's the same. Everything else is different." I pause, then reach for Noriko, my heart feeling compassion. She's still looking down at the ground, a bit pink in the ear that I've said it so openly -- what she hides behind all of the parts she plays.

I brush the hair back from her cheek, just a little touch to comfort her. "That's the reason I thought to send you back, Noriko. This place is not home for you. It's more foreign than just moving from one country to another."

She can only agree, but she looks up at me, the Teacher to explain her courage: 

"That's true, but there's a thing about humans. ...They're the most adaptable species in the world and the universes. ...And the young adapt the fastest. I'll take longer than a five or six year old would to adapt to this world, but I will adapt.

"Each new experience teaches me, and I have you and Glocia and the others to protect me so that the experiences don't kill me. Some year, it will be home. ...Of that, I have no doubt." I can't decide if my sorrow is his or mine, so I don't cave to it, just let it float. When he finally sighs and lets it go, it's mostly his. I'm still anchored in my calm determination to stay by his side.

Her calm courage surrounds me. I can finally only sigh and let my sorrow for her go. She still will not leave me, even so.

I squeeze her hand and let it go. "Where were you ladies going?" I turn the topic away from Noriko so she and I can recover properly. I need the distraction.

"Shopping!" Anita is happy for the conversation to change.

"Sounds like fun," I smile to further lighten the mood. I think I'd better stay with them. Not because Noriko is going to run into trouble in this city (although she might -- there are other visitors here) but because I need to be near her for a while. Plus, I like watching her shop. It's fun to watch her out-negotiate wizened merchants who give in to her because they like her.

I think he thinks it's more fun to watch me shop. He becomes our shadow, walking with us as we get going again and keeping an eye on me. Glocia even pulls me aside to whisper-ask if it's okay he's tagging along. I smile at her and tell her he's decided to be entertained for the afternoon instead of bored in the council room with stuffy men again.

After all what healthy young male doesn't want to walk around looking at pretty girls having fun when they get the chance... and I don't mind. I have just as much fun, when it's him, if she's okay with it. She shrugs and allows it, ignoring him from then. But she's likely used to being followed around by a bodyguard that she mostly forgets, anyway.

We have specific things to buy, but we quickly have to be careful what we window shop. The merchants work us over hard, me in particular, and they try to get Izark involved more than he would like. I sigh. They either want us to be their walking advertisements, or they want to gift us things because they're so glad we're going to be bringing tourism business to them, or some just genuinely want to gift us things.

I quickly learn to put a kind dampening on all of them and restrain my interest until I see the thing we really need. This is a new kind of shopping and bargaining lesson. I have to carefully consider my position and influence, not just my budget. I can see how it could be easy for people in power to end up abusing all three of them, when it starts "innocently" like this.

It becomes a more interesting shopping trip than I thought it would be. The merchants work hard not to sell her things (and me since I'm along) but to gift things. I watch her work hard to refuse to accept gifts. If she wants something she becomes careful how she words her desires and requests, and she always pays a reasonable price for it.

After she's practiced for a while she asks me if I've been watching long enough now to understand what she's learned. (I've practiced saying, "No, thank you. I'm just along as the companion today.") "It looks like it's rather difficult, actually. I would have caved more than once when you didn't," I say. 

I put down the item I was looking at as if disinterested now that I've looked at it closer, and look at the other things in the display. "It is. It's going to take a long time to really learn it. It would be nice if we only have to deal with it here, not at the other cities and towns we go to later."

"Even then, it would be good to learn that kind of restraint. We don't know what will happen in the future." I'm still thinking of the future and I have to tease. "If you become president of a university, you'll need to know it, most likely."

"Hmm..., maybe." She's too distracted by the shopping to rise to the tease, but it's enough to be with her today. I'm still learning good things.

The girls are aghast when I buy my wedding present for Izark with him standing there to see. I wink at them and put my finger to my lips. He doesn't know that's what it is after all, and honestly, I don't care if he does know ahead of time. We don't have many secrets from each other. It's too hard to.

There's a time he wanders off to come back later. I'm pretty sure he's gone off to purchase my present, having been reminded that such a thing is expected. We respectfully ‘ignore' that's what we've done. 

When the girls whisper-scold Noriko, I pretend not to hear, but it's true I'd forgotten about the wedding present I'd ordered. This would be a good time to see how it's coming along. While she has companions with her I can do it and we're close to the place. I wander off to do that and she respectfully doesn't pay attention.

I'm pleased with the result. Now that I've watched Noriko in the market, I know not to take the low price the artisan charges me. Instead I just hand over what he should have asked for, thanking him kindly for his efforts.

Shortly after I return to Noriko, the other girls give their excuses. I've heard enough of those to know that they want to let us have "date" time, and have other ulterior motives. I don't complain. I'm happy to have the excuse for once.

At some point the three girls say they need to go and look for some things and will let us have more of a "date" for a while. That's the cue they're going to buy us presents. For that, it's good Izark is along. It would have been more difficult for them to ditch just me.

I take him back to the jeweler's stand we passed a while ago, explaining that I want to get gifts for each of the girls and for Niana, Gaya, and Zena who are working so hard in our behalf. 

That sounds like a good thing to me. I should also get something small for the men while we're there. Noriko dances from foot to foot before we approach the merchant. I wonder if she's unsure she can buy that much and not allow for the larger discount. I'll have to work hard to not have my coin pinching habit win out.

I have to work up my courage to ask if we can spend lots of money on it, since I want to buy them nice jewelry they can wear to the wedding and after. He stops and gives me a smile. 

When she finally asks me if she can be allowed to spend a lot since she wants to buy them nice enough pieces to really express our gratitude properly, I'm reminded that she usually buys the least expensive thing she can. 

I haven't told her yet how much I earned from the Donya army, I realize. She's also used to us not having very much and watching what we do have. Today she doesn't have to worry. We can spend to buy our friends good gifts.

Brushing her hair back from her ear, I lean down and whisper in her ear just how much I took from the army of Donya. I want to tease her romantically, so I've said it that way. I get an unexpected reaction.

My heart was transfixed by his soft fingers, close warmth, and breath on my skin. When the number filters through all that, my mind is transfixed. "Don't move," I whisper desperately.

"Why?" I whisper back, wondering what I've done.

"I'll explode if you do. That was a very dangerous combination and I'm not holding on too well."

I silently laugh at her. This is a very good reaction. "Breathe," I whisper one more time, making the word breathe on her ear on purpose. I really did get a very good reaction. She's immediately rising, faster than she should. I can't help but laugh, but at the same time this is as dangerous as she warned.

I grab her up and leap for the roof of a nearby stable, then over the edge into a quiet alleyway. Noriko manages to hold on until we get there, but she's filling up very quickly. 

I manage to hold on to the explosion until we get there, feeling like a bomb in Legend of Zelda that's flashing between red and black slowly until we're somewhat private, then faster and faster. He holds me tightly and I bury my head in his chest so that when the explosion comes it's at least somewhat muffled for the both of us.

"Really, Noriko," I lean down and complain quietly in her ear, a few tears leaking from my eyes in physical reaction to her reaction. "That was rather violent." I think I'll have to reserve that sort of thing for rare times.

"I'm sorry, Izark," I say humbly. "May I recommend you not do that again? To tell a woman your value monetarily at the same time as she is feeling your other values is rather overwhelming, when both are as highly rare as you are. Most particularly, don't ever do that to another woman than me. I'll have to hide you and your treasure in my cave and never let you out."

I wipe my eye. This can happen for other women than her? But then I remember and know it. It's what makes a woman look at a man greedily -- if she thinks he is both beautiful and wealthy. I'm a little surprised it worked so well on her. I have to tease her again. "You're finally admitting you're a dragon, too?"

"Finally?" I raise my eyebrow at him. "When did I become a dragon?"

"This whole time?" She's confused. "Remember I said I wondered what kind of creature I had taken from the Sea of Trees, when you were giving me my first lecture?" She remembers. "I've decided it was a dragon. What little you've told me of them, it fits." She doesn't see it. I try again. "Mm. Do you remember when you ran away, on the way to Gaya's?"

I nod, "That's when I first saw your dragon."

"But it's also when I first saw the dragon in you, I think. You said to me that I would be back, and you looked at me with eyes that said that I was yours and there was nothing I could do about it. You would keep me as yours no matter what came.

"When you came to brush my hair the next morning, having you braid my hair and put the bandanna on me -- it felt like you were putting the chain and collar on me, even though you were letting me walk away. Every time you protected me, you had that look, too, and the fierceness behind it."

I stop and think about it, then nod. "Yes, I can see it. Those would all be very dragon-like moments." I snake my arms around him and hold him tightly, looking up into his face. "You are mine. My very precious treasure. Don't go too far away, and always come back. Stay safe for me." As his lips descend to mine to kiss me obediently, I add, "And keep the gold safe for me, too. I can't earn it like you can."

Yes, she is a dragon, and she owns me, because she won't let me go. One that I love and don't want to let leave me. As I lean down to steal a kiss, she adds, "And keep the gold safe for me, too. I can't earn it like you can."

That's only true at the moment, but if my gold is hers because she owns me.... I steal my kiss first. "You won't spend it all, will you?" I want to know.

"No. I want to lie on it and run my fingers through it and save it forever." Noriko runs her fingers into my hair, as if she would love to run her fingers through the gold just as much. It feels almost the same, just more greedy. I tickle her to get her to stop feeling that way and she laughs at me, enjoying her tease.

I relent with a sigh. "No, I know you do," I say, kissing her cheek. "You're already a better bargainer than I am. I don't mind sharing my treasure with you ...my most precious treasure." And that is why. Because I am the dragon that owns her and will never let her go, even though she steal my gold away. If it were to disappear, I would still be content if she were by my side.

Ah, it's been too long and we've been too close, dragons too long in this time and place. She's the one with the strength to separate us by distance, pulling away. 

His hunger for me rises above the surface as I kiss his temple. I pull back. Distance is the only thing that will save us at the moment -- two dragons getting lost in their treasures.

His dragon eyes look at me and I suspect mine are looking back at him. I keep the look for two heart beats, then take a deep breath and put it back to sleep, blinking a few time. He reluctantly does the same after a few more heart beats. I have shopping to finish. He has to be patient with his treasure just a little longer.

I finally relent -- just enough for that much. I think I will steal her away to my cave once that much is done -- as my payment. 

Chapter Text

I take a deep breath. "No, really. It really is too much." I'm not quite sure how to settle myself. I've even just told both a lie and the truth at the same time. Maybe what's too much is the level of emotional drowning I'm under.

We've spent the morning rehearsing for the wedding. I'm not so nervous now about that, although it has underscored the reality of it all, and that feels pretty big and almost overwhelming. Now, they've brought me the wedding dress that the top seamstress of Ennemarna has been working on with two hours of sleep out of every twelve since we announced our intention to marry. At least, that's what it looks like to me.

The traditional wedding dress is gorgeous. Not what I would expect from my world, but I love traditional native clothing anyway, so it's all good in my book. They keep saying they just modified one that was already on hand, but... even so....

It belongs on a queen. The Fairy Queen. I've played at being her, but to see the dress that should be hers and be told it's mine is just not sticking. It's the other end of the spectrum of my disconnect between reality and brain and what I see as would occur frequently in the beginning when I came here. Instead of fear, it's wonder and delight and I'm afraid to accept it. (Too much irony in the balance?) Whatever it is, I want it so bad, it's almost as bad as wanting Izark's sapphire eyes, and at the same time I can't accept it.

I turn away from it and take a deep breath. "I love it. It is absolutely gorgeous. Give me two minutes to wrap my brain around where we're going with this." I walk out of the room. I hope I haven't offended them, but I really do need to settle this inside me first. ...I don't need to explode from trying it on. That would be bad in company.

I walk to a dark part of the hall of these interconnected rooms -- so it really isn't a hallway, but it's close enough. I lean my forehead on the cool wall, trying to connect to reality somehow. It makes me feel like the beginning, too, though. Like when I rested my head on the tree root to be connected to solid reality. It's about as smooth and cool, too.

I close my eyes and I'm back there in the sea of trees again, standing on the soft golden moss. I came a high school student, a weak girl, and was suddenly the Fairy Queen, the most treasured prize of all the world. I was rescued by the most feared, strongest creature of the world, taken away and protected by him: the Sky Dragon.

All this time, he's protected me, and I've given myself to him. And never once have I been the weak high school student since, even though I've believed I was in my innermost parts. He's reached the final goal, defeated Gannon, completed the quest. His reward always was me, as long as he could keep me until this time. And I'm okay with that. This wedding is the finale of the quest.

I take a deep breath. Okay so that's the two problems. One: when I put that dress on, I really do have to be the Fairy Queen. Not just for the show, not just for the wedding, not just for the rolling credits. From this point on, and from the moment I stepped off the golden moss, I really, truly was, am, and will be the Awakening.

It really can't be a role play any more. I can still be me, but it has to be the me that takes responsibility for this place I've been put in. I have to put on the hat, accept the crown, carry the burdens -- really. I understand I have been, but this is different. This world needs to become real to me. That's the first issue.

It makes the second issue absolutely terrifying. Two: when the wedding is over and the credits are rolling...will I be sent home? Will it be "game over", thank-you-very-much-Noriko-you-can-go-home-now? I was brought here suddenly, against my will, just in time for "start game". I'm a pawn, a plot character. The game -- the world of light, I suppose -- has called all the shots from the beginning, and I still don't know the future any more than I did.

Does Izark get to keep his prize, like an item in his bag until he decides it has to go, like an RPG? Or does the game end, fade out, start over from the beginning again if you want, like a console game? My fist clenches against the wall. If it's the latter, I don't want to do One. If it's the former, I have to do One, because it's the right thing to do.

Maybe I can make a bargain with the world of light. "When I put the wedding dress on, if you're going to send me home, do it then. Don't make Izark sad and despair on our wedding night after we've committed in front of the entire world.

"If I have to commit to being the Awakening for real, walk across the stage, say "I do", and wake up the next morning in my bed on Earth, just kill me now. I'll do it then otherwise -- die of not-eating, not-living, being sad for Izark, being sad for me. Don't reward me just to destroy me. Don't reward Izark just to destroy him. Let me know that we can commit and you'll commit with us, to let us stay together."

"Noriko! Noriko! Come look!" It's Rottenina.

I close my eyes, sigh, and straighten. "I'm coming!" I call and head her way.

When she sees me, she grabs my hand and pulls me to a window. "Look! The people are saying they've never seen anything like it."

I look at her, then look out the window. There, shining in the sky, within the bowl of the rock city, but overarching it is the most beautiful double rainbow I've ever seen. I stare at it, stunned. Tears come to my eyes and drip slowly down my cheeks. Thank you. They hang there in the sky for a brief moment longer, then slowly fade.

There are calls below of today being an auspicious day, and it being a blessing on the eve of the wedding of the Sky Demon and the Awakening, and other such things. I know what it is. It's the world of light answering my request, committing with us, giving us our reward and promising to keep it.

Once again I am headed for a frantic Noriko. Once again it is out a door and up through a window. Did she feel like this when she was stolen from me before? I'm desperately hoping not. I don't need that kind of addition to my already turmoiled mind and heart. I've been having only nightmares, waking and sleeping, the closer we get to the wedding itself.

I'm suddenly confused, though. Outside the door, over the city, is a thing never seen before. It's a double rainbow in the middle of the desert, one that sparkles and shines in all the colors that exist on this planet. Noriko told me that she finds them beautiful since many of the colors here are not on her home planet. She thinks our sun might be a different color than hers, but that lesson went over my head, past how light passing through the right material spreads to show all of the colors that are in it.

She truly believes that the rainbows we see are messages from the World of Light. Why is she panicked at the same time as there is a double rainbow? That almost makes me panic more. We saw a rainbow only a few days before she was stolen from me by Rachef and they almost won the first time. I'm up in the window she's looking out of, needing to have my eyes on her.

Her overwhelming emotion now is relief. The girls are watching the tears stream down Noriko's face in shock, not knowing what to do. They see me and with grateful looks quietly excuse themselves from the room. They've learned now that only I can handle the tearful Noriko, who is overwhelming for the people of this planet. It really is a special power of hers. She said it embarrasses her because her people are like the people here. They also wouldn't know what to do with so many tears.

I think it comes from the depths of the pain of being stolen. If the World of Light hadn't stolen her from her home there wouldn't have been this ocean of pain for the tears to come from, nor the rift in her that lets them escape. Many are the times I've scolded the World of Light for having done it and received only silence.

This time, I take pause. Something different has happened. Noriko looks ...older. A whisper of power swirls around her, but what it is exactly is hard to tell since her tears and sobs unabated hide it. Perhaps it's the power of her tears. I'm not sure, but I don't want to enter that space and find out. I'm not too emotionally stable and we don't need to have me added to whatever she's trying to recover from.

Because I'm here with her now and can watch over her, I quietly move to sit on the bed near the window and just wait this time. I'm not sure I've ever seen her cry this hard. Maybe when we were leaving the cavern in the caves to walk out of them, to walk away from everything that she'd known into this world of the unknown. She isn't finally admitting how much it hurts to turn away from her home and family, is she? What relieved her? To see me?

It's one of my nightmares. I don't want to go through with the wedding only to have her say to me in a month, year, twenty years, that she hates me for keeping her, for not making her go home. Even worse... well, I can't even think it, it's such a horrible thought. If I do, I won't be able to keep it down, and she's finally recovering.

I'm so relieved I can't stop crying for some time and I'm gulping for air. That wakes me up and I calm down again pretty quickly.

Noriko is quite the mess. I hand her a handkerchief, relieved to not have it be my jacket this time.

I use it to clean up and blow my nose so I can breathe and see again. I sigh. "Sorry," I say generally. "I'm better now."

"That's good." She blinks at me in surprise. I guess she thought the girls would still be here.

Izark is sitting on the bed near where I'm standing, leaning on his hand, watching me.

"How do you always show up at times like this?" I ask him -- rather thoughtlessly actually as his expression says for him. "Ah, right. Sorry. I didn't mean to drag you out again." I take a deep breath again.

She takes a deep breath, seeming still a little scattered. "Are you sure you're better?" I ask. She looks a little better, but the power is still swirling lightly around her.

"Well, it was a deep worry," I answer. "Those take a little longer to recover from, but I am better."

That points to my confusion. "A worry? It was a rainbow, a double one even. Those don't usually worry you."

"You saw it?"

"I came out to get to you from below -- it was faster -- and saw it. You didn't see me come in the window?"

I shake my head. "I wasn't seeing anything by then."

Well, with that level of tears, it isn't surprising.

I watch her a moment longer. "Noriko... will you tell me? You look different."

I what? "In what way?"

I taste her power just ever so lightly. It's not tears. Its her power from the World of Light. "You look more like you look like in the World of Light. Older isn't quite right, but that's what comes to mind. I didn't touch you when I came in because it looked like you might be there, in the World of Light."

I slowly nod my head. "I wasn't, but I ...suppose? it makes sense...." I sigh and move to sit on the bed in front of him, one leg dangling over the edge. I look into his eyes, perhaps a little sadly. He's still watching me with concern.

"I asked the world of light to promise me that if we really were going to be rewarded for our efforts from the time it brought me here, that it wasn't going to suddenly send me back, like it brought me here."

I sit up in surprise and shock. She has voiced my deepest fear and I struggle to keep it down until she can finish.

"As soon as I really asked, demanded, threatened, and begged, Rottenita called for me to come look." I glance towards the window. "The double rainbow was its answer."

I slump in relief at her final words and put my hand to my head. This is becoming more than I can handle, the stress and emotions of this wedding. "You are really difficult, you know that? ...I asked, when we landed at the foot of the cliff, why I was doing this, why I was keeping you alive, particularly when it wasn't easy." I drop my hand to glare at her slightly. "Even at the river I couldn't walk away, and that was very difficult." She understands how difficult that was for me.

"When that was over ...and you were finally sleeping and recovering... I looked at you," I look away, holding the ankle of the leg resting on the bed with one hand tightly for the courage to say what I want to say to her, "and I was so relieved you were.

"I didn't understand yet even then why, but for a reason I couldn't say at the time, I did say to whatever it was that brought us together, that if I was going to go through all this work and effort, and it wasn't going to let me kill you so I could be free of the future that I didn't want, for all that you kept trying to die, that it had better give me something in the end worth all the effort."

I take in a breath looking only at my hand, trying to not let my emotions overwhelm me in the telling. "For some reason, the words of the doctor in Calco came to my mind. He told me, ‘Noriko has done this so that she can stay alive. She wants to live.'

"When I thought that thought, I thought back to everything else you'd done, and I realized I'd not thought right. You weren't trying to die, even if by accident. In everything you did, you tried to live. You didn't want to walk out onto the cliff path because you wanted to live. Because I pulled you out onto it, your life was endangered and I had to save you so you could live.

"That's why, when you answered my question that if you were free but couldn't go home you would die, I couldn't believe it." That memory is painful today. Today I'm afraid to lose her to a thing I know I can't control and can't influence. I try to breathe so the rock in my stomach doesn't hurt so much.

"It made sense if I thought about it from the viewpoint that without me to protect you, you would die most likely, although you would have kept fighting to live, I think. But that isn't what you meant, and I could tell that."

I need to see her again. Her eyes are sober, her attention on my words. "It made me angry that you would work so hard to live, but if we were set free you would give up. It made me feel trapped and I tested you. Even then you wanted to live and kept running.

"When I said I wanted you to live, I meant it. Somehow, your determination to live had given me some courage I hadn't known I needed. It had never taken much for me to live, having the physical strength I did, but you had nothing of strength except of will, and yet you fought desperately to live anyway.

"To hear in your voice that you would give up meant that somehow I would have given up, too. I couldn't bear it. When I caught you, and you didn't struggle or run again, you just stayed with me, even though you cried, I realized... you were what I wanted. If the thing that was making us come together was going to give me something worth it all in the end, I wanted it to be you -- a strong, willful, living you."

I drop my eyes, still guilty for making that first mistake. "I still didn't want to be the Sky Demon of Destruction. I still thought it was better to not be with you for your sake and mine, since I didn't want to hurt you, but I meant it, and from then on, too." I remember yesterday's conversation and look at her again. "I guess you saw that determination when you saw what you call the dragon -- that you were going to be mine if all this was going to happen against my will regardless."

My eyes seek the double rainbow -- gone now because they are fleeting things -- wanting the promise she was looking for. "Do you remember that morning, after we left Selina, Guzena, when you woke me up to see the rainbow?" She remembers. She'd almost not called me to come see it, worried that I needed sleep more. I only saw it as it was fading away, but it had still been beautiful, because it had been beautiful in her eyes.

"I'd spent the whole night I'd been awake worrying about our future. I'd committed to you, and you'd committed to me, and I still wasn't sure but that I was going to become destruction and destroy you, too. I'd finally gone to bed asking. ...Asking for some sign that it was going to be okay. It wasn't until the rainbow at the Flower Festival, though, when you told me it was a sign from the World of Light that I realized that the first rainbow was my answer to that sleepless night."

I wave my hand at the window. "When I burst out of the room below and saw the rainbow, doubled, I was stunned. I knew it was somehow related to your worry and fear, and your relief ...and my promise and my desires, because there were two of them." I'm desperately hoping I've understood rightly.

"If it's the answer to the promise, that you will be mine and I will be yours and we won't be taken from each other, then I'm glad." I reach for her hand and hold her fingertips in mine so we are barely touching, but needing to know she is here with me. Softly I admit, "I also have been worrying about the same thing."

I pull on his fingers to bring his hand closer to me and turn them over to rub my thumb lightly along the backs of his fingers. For a while I don't speak. I'm glad to hear his side of that time, and that we share the same concerns and desires.

She's teaching herself as she teaches me, perhaps. And like I needed to say my words to her, she likely also needs to say her words to me. To fear we'll be separated as violently as we were brought together is to want to say everything that needs to be said while it can be. Ready to say them, she looks at me.

"They've brought the wedding dress. That's what set off my worries. Between doing the practices and seeing that, I got overwhelmed again, but this time from the things inside me." I look down. "I'm sorry. I would never have thought a happy thing like getting married would make a mess of my emotions like this."

I take her whole hand in mine. I understand. Even for my own, which I know are my own and not hers, it's this way.

I look away from him, then sigh. "You said I look different. I'm not sure why there would be a difference like that, but I was thinking of one other thing, and maybe it's what made the difference. ...At least, it's the only thing I can think of that would do it." I'm actually uncomfortable to talk about this one, Issue One. Maybe it feels too much like bragging. I look down at our hands again.

"You know I've told you I use acting to find the strength to move forward, or as a protection from the confusion of this world."

I remember. That still worries me.

"Even using those crutches, I've always tried to be true to myself, to be honest and do my best, but in one thing I have never been honest, with myself and this world."

She tightens her grip on my hand just a little more to draw more courage. It's hard for her to say it, but I'm relieved when she does. If she knows it, she can try to be even stronger.

I tighten my grip on his hand just a little and pause, my heart shrinking even from saying it out loud. "I -- have never believed, or tried to understand maybe, that I am really the creature or being called the Awakening. The closest I've ever come is in playing like I'm the Fairy Queen. Even that I've never really believed, although I understand that the things that surround it are true. I am your treasure, I am important to this world for some reason, I needed to keep myself safe and hidden. But really...being it --"

I look away again, then force myself to look into his eyes. "The wedding dress, in my eyes, is only fit to be worn by the true Fairy Queen. This wedding and all the effort going into it. It's all making me open those eyes, making me understand that if I'm really going to marry you, I'm really going to be the Awakening -- and that I was the Awakening from the beginning."

I shrug self-consciously. "It is a fine distinction, and perhaps not relevant for anyone but me, but..., when I was worrying and thinking before the rainbows, I understood that if the world of light was going to let me stay, and I was going to marry you, I would need to accept that truth, and live it as truth," I look up at him with a wry grin, "even though I have no idea what that means. I don't know what this world sees the Awakening as, or should do, or be.

"Being given a lavish wedding and the most beautiful wedding dress possible makes me think this world sees me as more than even a princess or queen, and if that's what it thinks, I'll do that to the best of my ability, but really, it's just me, doing the little I know how to do each day. I don't think I'm worth all that. I'm happy just being loved by you and seeing you happy and content within your own skin."

I'm happy hearing that like the Noriko she is, she won't be changed by having to face what she is to this world. I can only try to teach her what little I know. "I grew up hearing what I'd become, and fearing it, not wanting it to be true, and fighting it. You taught me that was the right thing to be doing and that I could choose for myself what the meaning of ‘Sky Demon' was.

"The world still views it as something grand, I suppose, but it's what I want it to be: Izark who cares for people and loves Noriko, and does the small, or not so small things I can do each day.

"To me, the Awakening is a girl who loves me and taught me those things and does her best each day, too. That is enough if it's enough for her -- for you." I wish for her to understand what I want for her to understand, regardless of what the world will tell her if she asks. "The wedding is being put together by our friends and will be watched by the world, and I suppose they'll see what they want to see, but that doesn't mean that it will define us."

I tip my head to really look at all of her, trying to picture the wedding dress on her. "You told me that to pretend to be those things can be fun, and being the pirate king was fun after that. I think that if the wedding dress is made for the Fairy Queen, or the grand creature expected by the world they call the Awakening, then it's okay for you to have fun wearing it and being that once if you want. I think you would have a lot of fun doing that, actually." She does love the formal clothing of this planet and that makes her fun to watch, too.

"But that doesn't mean you have to be that forever. That isn't who I know, after all. ...I know the Noriko-Awakening that weeps over everything, needs protection to live, is afraid all the time --" I'm teasing her to keep her level headed, to let her know I don't want a changed Noriko.

I attack him, pushing him to the bed. "That's enough of that," I say firmly.

I laugh, having received a reaction that relieves me. I hold her above me so I can keep seeing her face. Her small waist fits snugly in my hands and I'm glad for a moment to play in the middle of the stress of the day.

"Actually, they've brought my clothes as well," I let her know.

"Oh?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yes, and they are also fit for the Fairy King, or the grand creature they imagine is the Sky Demon." I also was unsure about wearing them when I saw them, but at the same time quite pleased. I also have very little reason to dress up (at least for my own pleasure).

Noriko's eyes narrow at me. "Hmm.... I seem to remember you saying you'd been waiting to be the Fairy King."

"Yes, I was, because I wanted to be able to stand by the Fairy Queen who is very strong willed and her eyes tell the world that it must obey her, but who is still willing to be my treasure and obey me: someone who has to work hard to be worthy of that gift. When you called me that for the first time, I wondered if I had really earned it yet..., but I believe I have now." These are words I do believe, and even more as I say them.

Soberly I request, "I would actually really like it, Noriko, if you would be willing to really be the Fairy Queen and say that I am really the Fairy King, if I've earned it. Even if it is only once, and when the rest of the world will be seeing the Awakening and the Sky Demon."

Noriko considers my request.

"Well..., it would be fun..., and I do really ...really, want to wear that dress, and properly. But," I look at him firmly in the eyes, "it has to be Izark that says ‘I do' and Noriko, too, since that's who's really getting married." He soberly agrees. I take a breath. "Okay. If you'll be the Fairy King, I'll have the courage to be the Fairy Queen. Be aware I follow your lead a lot when I'm in that role though."

My eyes go wide. "Oh, no. Noriko, I follow yours."

I stare at him, then collapse laughing. "May-maybe we," the laughs get me again until I can try again, "we should practice?"

I'm a bit concerned about her mental state, to laugh about something she cried about before, but I'm sure underneath her control on her emotions, she's having just as many difficulties as I am. I hope we can get through this in one piece without the world thinking we've gone mad. I try to bring her back to practicality. "I think we should talk with Duke Jeida and Duchess Niana and make sure we understand well enough at least."

"Okay. I like that idea. I really think it might be bad if we're both making it up and we end up doing something very wrong. ...Although it might be forgiven of the Awakening and Sky Demon, since no one really knows anything about them and everyone is making them up."

"I don't think it would be a good idea to set a bad precedent because we made a mistake," I agree.

I hold her down and make her get rid of as many wild emotions as possible before we leave the room. She needs to be calm to face people and I need to release my own doubts and fears that have been piling up ...or I'm going to steal my treasure away and run, and the city can sit and be sad we didn't stay for the formalities.

I didn't run. Noriko held me down all night and the men held me down today, making sure I was bathed, dressed, and I'm in place where I belong. I'm sure I've been wooden the whole time. I don't like having eyes on me generally. I really don't want the eyes of the world on me.

I want to stay hidden. I would go hide behind Noriko's skirts, the young boy wanting the escape, but she's standing on the other side of the sitting crowd of attendees from where I am on the stand waiting for her arrival.

She's beautiful in the dress that is fit for more than a queen. It's form fitting until the skirt which flares out to the floor. The embroidery on it covers almost everything and I know now how to tell it was extremely well done.

How the seamstress made it to the celebration I don't know but I'm sure she hasn't slept since the order for the dress was made. Perhaps three or four worked on it at once. It looks like it, anyway. The embroidery makes the dress stand out stiffly and Noriko is standing upright and poised almost more from that than from our practices.

My jacket is almost the same, although they didn't bother with embroidery on the pants. I'm relieved. I'm also surprised the jacket is short, flaring just a little over my hips where it ends, when they know I like long, but I'm not going to complain at all. It matches what Noriko's wearing better anyway.

I'm going without a bandanna this time. They told me I couldn't look like I was going to work, even if I did want to wear the one Noriko made me. She said it was okay. She's grateful I appreciate it by wearing it every other day.

Agol is smart next to Noriko in his formal suit. They're talking quietly while we wait for the officiators -- who are waiting for the guests to finish settling down. Suddenly there is another person with Noriko, on her other side. My eyes widen as I take in who it is. Doctor Clairgeeta bows to me and I return it very slightly, not wanting to draw attention to myself in this busy place where eyes are on me.

"You invited him?" I ask Noriko. To have suddenly appeared, Doctor Clairgeeta is joining us in spirit through the World of Light.

She indicates I've understood. "Geena told me just now that when seers look for the Awakening and the Sky Demon they only see light," I'm suddenly so relaxed in relief my legs want to collapse. I can feel her smile in understanding, "and I wanted him with me, too, so I asked him to come. He kindly agreed."

Okay, Noriko. Deep breath. Stand up straight. Poise and grace. Use the comportment class to good effect. Make your teachers proud. All of our friends had been grateful for the ceremony practice, and some had even sat in the comportment class Duke Jeida and Duchess Niana held for us.

I look over to Agol and smile. He looks back at me, having just finished his own personal pep-talk, and smiles back. His face is mostly calm, but there is a touch of sadness in his eyes -- thinking of his wife and his own wedding no doubt -- and some pride. That makes me feel good. It really is the perfect mix I think would be in my own father's eyes. Ah, need to nip that in the bud.

"Thank you very much, Agol," he nods, but I add, "for watching over us kindly." I know he could have chosen to turn us in to any authorities at any time, and since he'd been sent by Rachef, it could have been very bad for us. I lean up and kiss him on the cheek.

It's cute. He blushes and turns away in embarrassment, one hand going to rub his short hair. "Well..., it just didn't make sense to me, you know. And you were always so kind to Geena." He looks down at his daughter so I do too. She's standing in front of us, holding a small basket of flower petals, the handle clutched in both hands. She tips her head up and smiles at us. She's taller than when Izark and I left them, growing from a little girl into a cute girl.

"Yes," she says. "From the beginning, even though I was nervous at first. She didn't scold me, Dad, when I looked at her for you. She just kindly asked me not to tell you or to look again. She was very nice."

I smile, remembering also, then think of a question I had. "Geena, what do you see now when you look at us?"

She looks at me calmly for a minute. "Right now, you are pretty and lots of light. Izark is too, now. He was dark and scary before, but since you guys got back he hasn't been scary, and since you opened the door of light for him, he's been light. He's still big and powerful, though."

I smile, "Yes, he is, in that world. He's still pretty scrawny in reality."

She giggles and Agol smiles. Geena looks off in the distance of her mind. "When I look in my stone, and I ask to see Noriko, I see you, and when I ask to see Izark, I see him."

She looks up, although she isn't really looking at me or Agol. "But, if I ask to see the Awakening or the Sky Demon, all I see is bright light. It isn't swirly chaos any more. I talked to Zena about it and she thinks if Izark had chosen darkness, or been taken over by the source of all evil, that we would only see darkness."

My eyes widen. "Really? When you look for the Sky Demon and Awakening, it's only light? No places or faces or things going on?" She shakes her head.

I relax -- a lot. "Well, if I'd known that before...."

Agol looks at me sympathetically. "You expected a bigger audience?" I nod. "Well, you probably wouldn't be wrong," he smiles at me, "if they could watch it just by knowing that much, I'm sure they would. How many know you personally?

I think about that. "Well, not very many, actually. And they would have to know we were getting married to bother looking, I think. The mayor of the Flower Festival and her daughter and son-in-law. Doctor Clairgeeta and the three Grey Birds, but that's about it, I think. Everyone else is here."

That makes me think, though. "Hang on. I'm going to go invite Doctor Clairgeeta. He's the only other one I wish was here. I was thinking he would already be watching." Holding on to Agol's arm still so my body has some balanced connection to the local area, I drop into the world of light. It's getting easier now, particularly when I'm feeling balanced to begin with. My calm preparations for the soon-to-be wedding ceremony have already prepared me.

Once in the world of light, I turn and look for Doctor Clairgeeta. He's quick to answer me, arriving next to me, actually. I smile and give him a "world of light hug". He blushes much like Agol did. "Will you come and be with us?" I ask, "I would really like to have you with us also."

He gives me a brief bow, "I would be honored to." I don't need to explain. Information transfer happens automatically when we meet in the world of light. It is polite to actually extend the invitation and accept it, though. His answer makes me happy and that's enough of an answer from me.

I return to my body, carefully gathering up the light back into myself, letting it add to me being the Fairy Queen, the center of attention (along with Izark) today. Doctor Clairgeeta joins us from within the world of light. I'm tickled pink that he'll walk with me along with Agol. Together the two of them are the most like surrogate fathers to me.

I look up to the stand. Izark is standing near the right side edge from where I'm standing outside the seating at the back. His eyebrow is raised and he's looking at the space next to me. I feel Doctor Clairgeeta smile and bow. Izark gives a brief, short bow, not wanting to draw much attention to himself. "You invited him?" he asks me.

I nod and smile. "Geena told me just now that when seers look for the Awakening and the Sky Demon they only see light," I feel him immediately relax and I smile at that shared reaction, "and I wanted him with me, too, so I asked him to come. He kindly agreed."

There's movement on the stand and Izark and I pay attention. Mayor Mardwoog and Grand Duke Jeida walk onto the stand, headed for the center position. The ladies and girls who will stand with me gather at the stairs set up in the center, where we will go shortly. "Is that the new mayor?" Doctor Clairgeeta asks me.

"Yes, Mayor Mardwoog, and that's Grand Duke Jeida next to him. They'll perform the ceremony together."

Agol looks at me strangely, but Geena answers before I do. "Her friend came in spirit, Dad. I can see him." Agol and I look at her and she jumps a little, then bows to Doctor Clairgeeta. "I am Geena Haas, a seer. It is nice to meet you."

Doctor Clairgeeta bows back politely, his hand to his chest. "It is nice to meet you as well, Geena Haas. I am Doctor Clairgeeta, Noriko and Izark's friend." He seems pleased that Geena named him our friend and he looks at me gratefully.

I smile at him. "You were our friend first. Thank you. ...If you will walk with us, then stand with Agol, that should be sufficient." He nods, then his attention is distracted. I look forward with him. "Ah, that is Irktule, the spirit of the morning mist tree," I inform him.

He looks back at me with a wry glance. "You've acquired the help of many strange and different people, haven't you?"

I nod without looking at him. It's about time to go. "Including you," I tease in a whisper. He laughs, and we begin walking down the aisle. Izark has arrived in his position.

There's movement behind me and I turn slightly to be respectful of Mayor Mardwoog and Duke Jeida. They will both be officiating the wedding together at Noriko's request. I'm glad to have Duke Jeida here with me. His words and his voice are always calming. Having the men with me is also a help, but they're nailing my feet down so I don't flee. That's different.

As the officiators arrive in their positions, I lead my men to stand to their left and with a deep breath first, open my mouth to make my request. "I, Izark kia Tarj, have come to be married to my fiancee, Noriko Taichiki." A thrill runs down my back and I shiver slightly. It's as if the World of Light stands with them, judging me to see if I'm worthy to ask such a request.

"Let the bride be brought," Mayor Mardwoog calls.

As poised as the Fairy Queen, Noriko walks down the aisle-way towards the steps leading up onto the stand where her ladies have walked up to stand to either side to guide her way. She follows Geena who is lightly throwing flower petals on the pathway to give her a sweet scent as she walks, and Agol escorts her. They're traditions of her world, but they're nice additions for this special wedding of the age. Murmurs of approval are going through the attendees.

Noriko's eyes look with gratitude at each of the ladies as she passes them, and then they are on mine, briefly, then moving on to the men behind me. She wants to remember this scene before she can't see it for standing with her back to it.

I also am grateful for these our friends, Gaya who has been with me from early on, and all of them. When Noriko has reached the top step the other ladies come up after her to stand to the officiators' right side. When her eyes return to mine she smiles brightly and then she looks away. Last time she did that she was sad.

"I'll explode," she explains briefly. I silently chuckle at her, but it's a nervous chuckle. While it would be funny, here at this time it wouldn't be at all, even if the world isn't watching.

I can't say how relieved I am that they aren't. This is suddenly a much better event than it was. I won't have to be worried about people seeing us while we're traveling and trying to either kill us, or challenging me, or wanting all sorts of things I don't want to give them, including her. I'm much more able to appreciate the words said by Mayor Mardwoog and Duke Jeida as Noriko and I stand hand in hand in front of them.

I am the Fairy Queen, Noriko the Awakening and I am being escorted to become the wife of the Fairy King, Izark the Sky Demon. My heart is beating rapidly and my breath is hard to catch. It keeps wanting to run away with me. I watch Izark's face until I can't any more, then look at the women waiting for me.

I'm perhaps holding on to Agol's arm more tightly than I should. He's helping me to keep my pace stately, or I might be running into Izark's arms. I do remember to take one deeper calming breath. Geena is doing a great job of staying in front of us and scattering flower petals in front of her. She uses the same "pressure" to know where we are and she is that I feel when following Izark with my eyes closed. She explained it when we were practicing.

When Geena arrives at the foot of the stairs, Anita gently takes her hand and pulls her to the side and keeps hold of her. She can't see the stairs so Anita will help her walk up them. Agol, Doctor Clairgeeta, and I pause long enough for her to move, then continue up the stairs. Anita and Rottenina are exited, and their eyes sparkle.

We move up a step and it's Zena and Glocia. Glocia is looking very proud of me and is standing straight and tall. I straighten just a little more in reaction and give her a wink. Zena glances at Doctor Clairgeeta, and looks at me calmly, also standing strong for me. She is always so calm, it seems. Being seeped in light does that, though.

One more step and it's my "mothers". Niana is standing serenely, like she taught us to, but I can tell that as soon as she can she's going to laugh, bawl, and carry on in her usual fashion. I smile with my eyes at her, then turn away so that I don't set her off at the wrong time. The light tearing and pride in her eyes was enough. Gaya is also struggling to hold on to her pride for us and keep the tears down. I do give her a soft smile and her lips quiver just a bit and she looks away.

I am so fortunate, to have two fathers and two mothers here to give me away. I let the gratitude fill me and it softens me, I can tell. I glance at Izark and realize that some of that gratitude is also his. That's a good emotion to have amplify. It's gentle enough it doesn't overwhelm us ...mostly.

The ladies are walking up behind us, the same as the men are behind Izark. First is Barago. If we are King and Queen, he's the man-at-arms for Izark. I guess Agol would be mine. Like Alef, who is second after Barago, was for Glocia and Niana and Banadam was for Duke Jeida.

Banadam is crying and trying not to, but at the same time he's standing very proudly. I finally realize how he managed the rejection ...I'm his little sister. I smile for him, a happy smile, and he relaxes. The brothers give me pretty much the same look. I'm just a little surprised that they chose to adopt me as well. I smile for that, too. It's nice to know I have three brothers...okay five, given the looks Alef (who I would have to say is the brother I fight with all the time but we still share a fondness) and Barago are giving me.

Doros was too shy to join in on the stand, but I know he's watching proudly as well. My eyes have returned to Izark and I smile brightly for him but can't keep looking in his eyes. He's just a touch concerned. "I'll explode." I explain briefly. He silently laughs and at the same time he tenses in worry. It would be funny, but not a good thing, really, not here at this time.

I look at my two officiators. Really, I've been given too much. Double everything, and even sisters that I never had before. (Oh, it's five of those, too, isn't it. And an Aunt in Zena, and we could count Duke Jeida as a....) His eyes catch mine and I'm immediately calming down. I take another deep breath.

When I'm ready, they begin, because I'm in my place now. I really do try to listen to the words. They say more than at the practice, this being the time to actually lecture the new bride and groom after all. I get the sense that the Mayor is lecturing the Awakening and the Sky Demon, although he's being encouraging. Duke Jeida's calm, slow voice that I love to hear...he's speaking as if my Grandfather. He knows Izark and I and that's who he's talking to. I tear up, touched by his love and kindness.

We make our vows to each other before these our friends and hosts, and I can feel the World of Light making our connection something unbreakable. This time I'll say it's her fault, whatever the outcome is of having done that. If it means she lives forever with me I wouldn't be unhappy, but I expect I daydream to wish that.

When I have to wipe my eyes to see, Duke Jeida pauses just briefly to let me, the look on his face understanding. Izark grips my hand for encouragement. I don't look at him. He's having just as hard a time as I am -- inside -- and not because of me. Izark also only has all of these as his family and he has similar feelings to mine about Duke Jeida.

I think this part will be hard for her. Here is the only family I know. She's missing some of hers who cannot come. We all wish for all of our family to share our joys with us, particularly one like a wedding which she likely expected her family to be able to participate in.

We're carefully keeping a barrier up so that only the really extreme emotions get through, and we're keeping a damper on so they don't get there. Izark's comforting warmth is helping me get through this, though, since it's outside the emotions. His strength is a strength to me and together that part is helping us stand straight and calm like we should be on the outside.

I take another breath and Duke Jeida is talking again, the pause brief enough to sound only like he was moving to the next topic in his speaking. He's a really good statesman. I would love to have him as a lecturer. I could sit and listen to his voice all day. He stumbles slightly, a surprised look on his face. Izark glances at me. "That look did it."

I'm confused. "What look?"

Izark looks away slightly and he's embarrassed. "Ah..., love."

"Oh." My look changes to one of shyness and slight apology. Duke Jeida has to pause altogether, clearing his throat before he can continue. I don't look into his eyes again for a while. That was the required clearing of a throat that's been constricted by tears. It's respectful to let him continue talking instead of making a statesman break down in tears in the middle of his part of this wedding. I wonder if he'll choose to not officiate at his own daughter's wedding. I know my own dad couldn't have. He's a softy.

I grip Izark's hand very tightly. He's quick to send comfort and love, trying to bolster me, trying to help me recover. Underneath it, I can feel panic rising. He's trying to make that stop. Suddenly there's another source of strength and calm supporting the two of us and I'm able to breathe on the inside again. I've completely fled my body, though, taking my emotions with me so that to the audience I'm still standing calmly in my place. Doctor Clairgeeta is holding me gently in the world of light and I let my emotions be expressed there, sobbing.

Eventually, it's too much for her and she flees into the World of Light with Doctor Clairgeeta to comfort her. I can see them there, even though Noriko hasn't moved outside. Tears are dripping from her eyes and it might get worse. I carefully leave most of me in the physical realm so I'm not suddenly disappearing from the stand.

"Noriko," I gently let her know as I wipe her cheeks for her, "pull it back just a little. You're crying here also, although it's just silent tears." She gathers her sorrow a little closer to her there in the World of Light and I let her know the tears have stopped.

"Where is your world?" Doctor Clairgeeta asks me. He didn't know I came from another world until just now, actually. The pain of my separation told him. I show him, "pointing" to it. Feeling my parents and family members from here, and the fact that today they are again living peaceably helps me.

I pay attention and look towards where she indicates they are.

"I'll anchor you," Doctor Clairgeeta says and I emote a question at him. "You'll return there and leave us if you go by yourself. I take it you don't want that since you're in the middle of a wedding." His humor is gentle.

"No. I want to stay."

"Stay with me, but reach with your feelings and thoughts to talk to them. Let them know you're happy and today is your wedding day. They might not understand it, but they'll be brought to think of you and feel your happiness with you." I nod -- figuratively, hold on tightly to him -- also figuratively, then send my mind and emotions to them, like I looked at Doctor Clairgeeta after we defeated the source of evil, just looking at them as if through a glass.

Ah. I understand. Those can pass through the space of the World of Light to reach them. I return to paying more attention to the ceremony while she talks to her family as best she can.

When I can see them, I cry again, but it's a soft thing, not painful like before. I don't want to give them sorrow, though, so I wait until I recover. I send "kisses" to them and wrap them in the warmth and comfort I feel from here, and then send them my love.

They've all stopped what they were doing by now and are paying attention, looking around to see if I'm actually with them. I send them the vision of Izark and I being married, on the stand with our friends and adopted family around us, and I wrap them in the soft happiness we both feel, and the love we have for each other, and my gratitude for him, and for them.

They each have their own reactions. Mom's hands are to her mouth and she's crying. Dad just puts his head down on his arms on his desk and cries. That makes me cry again a little. David's hand is at his heart and he can't decide whether to be happy with me or sad because I'm not there. Grandpa -- sweet, sweet Grandpa. He stops his gardening for just a moment, raises his head to the sky, and just feels, then he opens his eyes and smiles. "I'm so happy for you, Noriko," he says, surprising me. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Grandpa." I answer, then flee back to Doctor Clairgeeta so I don't break my own promise or make the world of light break its.

Doctor Clairgeeta holds me until Izark comes to get me, saying it's time for our part of the wedding ceremony.

When the officiators are done with their words, I return for Noriko. I won't let her apologize for the interruption. "I'm glad you could see and talk to your family, Noriko. What more appropriate time that at your own wedding?"

I take a deep (figurative) breath, then think of something. "Izark, when we retrieve my journal, can we take it and send it back, so they don't have to be sad anymore? So they can know that I'm safe and we're happy? My dad is a writer. He can publish it and both worlds will know our story. My world might believe it's [fiction], lore and story, but it might also help anyone who reads it to try to reach the light, too."

Izark is walking me back up through the layers to return to his world, my new world.

"I think that would be a very good thing to do. I'd like them to know I'm taking care of you as best I can, and that you're doing your best to be happy and helpful, too." My words make her happy and feel comforted. I'm pleased.

When Noriko's ready, I'm waiting. Truly, I love this woman who will give up her home and her family to stay by my side. I kiss her gently and envelope her in my love.

My own love and gratitude for him fill me, then spill out and around me until they envelop all of the people around us and fill the bowl of the city.

This is a thing only she can do. It's how she uses her power of the World of Light.

Gaya gasps lightly and whispers, "Oh! It feels like when Irktule cleansed the forest. It was bright like this, too."

Zena answers her softly as well. "Noriko has brought the world of light to us. I saw it."

"Mm," agrees Geena. I let it stay a little longer, then gently release it, the warm energy of light and love settling into and around the city, the same as had been done a long time ago when this city earned it's nickname as the City of Light. I'm glad I'm able to repay the city for the help it has been to us.

Our lips part and I rest my forehead on hers as all of my tender emotions well up in me, brought to the surface by her own. A few tears drip from my face to hers. Noriko sends a gentle emotional hand to calm them enough so I don't become overwhelmed.

He works to get it under control, then takes a deep breath. I touch his cheek gently with my hand, surreptitiously wiping the tear away from that side, then kiss him briefly again. I can tell he wants to say the words, "I love you", but I don't need to hear them. I can feel them and that's enough for me. I calmly anchor and let him breathe until he's tied his ship to my shore again.

When my emotions are settled again, I slowly increase my power. The wind that's always a part of it swirls around us, although I keep it gentle. It lifts my hair and fluffs Noriko's. All of our friends have stepped back so that they aren't caught up in the center of it like we are.

Just for her, I make my hair turn blue, then my eyes. I sweep her up, careful to hold her skirts tightly around her legs so my wind doesn't blow them unseemly. My wings of light unfurl and those who can see the things of the light gasp and murmur in wonder.

Keeping my power directed upwards so that it doesn't destroy the stand and our guests, I push off the stand with my legs until we're high enough I can use a sweep of my wings to put us high into the air over the city.

I'm loving the sensation of flying in Izark's strong arms.

"I thought you'd be more afraid, after the fall from the cliff," I comment. Even though I'm focused on my task, I've been wanting to know this, too -- why she isn't afraid to jump from high places since then.

He's still focusing on his other task and it's taking a bit of effort, I can tell. Weather changes aren't easy. "No. It's more like the times I jump. I know I'm in your arms and safe. I didn't understand that the first time."

He pauses and looks at me, his blue eyes boring into mine since they're so powerful, although he doesn't mean it really.

I pause, holding the wind and water energies where they are, swirling around in the air above and around us. It's just enough to know that in my arms she's safe? "You were so distressed, though. Did you really learn to trust me that much just from that?"

I nod. "I trusted you before, but as a swordsman. When you defied gravity and the natural laws I understood, then there was no reason to fear them any more." I look away a little embarrassed. "Actually, as we were flying over the spiky rocks and towards the treetops... I wanted then to keep flying with you." I blush a little more, "And when I was running to you in Selena, Guzena, in the palace, and you had your other wings for the first time, I wished... although I knew you wouldn't want them again... that I could do this with you."

Well, she is right about those wings. I only get them when I'm almost lost to the Sky Demon. I'd much rather have these wings. But to have her wish to fly with me, and to trust me so much as to have it overwhelm her terror of heights.... I go back to work to keep the blush of pleasure down.

I look around at the ground again. The city isn't a perfect circle, of course, but it looks like a comforting place from the air. Like the wall is encircling arms protecting those inside it. I can see to the event horizon all the way around and there is mostly sand. There are a few other knolls like Ennemarna, but smaller. Above us, clouds are gathering. Actually, we're being surrounded by them. If they're too high, the water will evaporate before it hits the ground.

The clouds I'm creating are gathering around us. It's difficult because water energy is so small here in the desert, but I can call for it here above the city. They bring it up from the river below and it rises slowly from the fields that are watered by it. I hold us here until I'm sure there's enough water in them, then we drop below them and I bring them down with us.

The closer we get to the city, the more water energy I can call on, bringing it up from the wells. When the clouds are heavy enough, and low enough over the city, I command the energy of the water and it begins to rain over Ennamarna. It's a very rare occurrence for them, and thus my gift to them.

As the rain falls gently past us, I pull up the light again and rainbows scatter all over the bowl of Ennemarna, dazzling the citizens of the city. Their cries of appreciation and then a cheer greet us as Izark gently settles us both back to the center of the stand. No one minds getting wet. It will dry very quickly again, and rain is a blessing in the desert. The clouds don't stay long once Izark pulls his power back into himself again. They aren't natural to the desert after all.

Chapter Text

The wedding feast is delicious and I fill up way too fast. I've gotten used to small meals, I guess. As we walk around talking to friends and citizens, I do snack some, as I think of it. Doctor Clairgeeta gave us his congratulations and left early -- he was using his own energy after all. Irktule left soon after, though that was more of a fading out. He's still with us, just not usig enough energy to be seen.

We went first to Mayor Mardwoog to thank him, then Duke Jeida. He finally let himself cry and so did we. Enough time had passed it was just a few drips. They did ask if I was okay now, and I let them know I was better. That I'd gone to visit my family briefly to let them know also and it had helped. That opened up pity, and I had to hide from it, although I appreciated their kind thoughts.

Niana, of course, grabbed me in a great hug and cried and fussed and then it was Gaya's turn. Even Glocia had a hug for me, although she was awkward about it, not being given to open displays. The other girls, though, were all hugs and loves and then gone, like the brief summer storms they are. They took Geena off quickly to the food tables, naturally keeping her under wing so Agol could talk to Izark and the other men.

I cautiously gave all the groomsmen kisses on the cheek. Banadam blushed hard, but I think Barago blushed harder, and for once was tongue-tied. After I had solemnly thanked all of them, I allowed myself to be taken off by Zena and Gaya to meet some of the friends they'd made in the city during their time there. I knew Izark wanted to have his own say with the men.

Gaya did give him a humongous hug before we left though, and he patiently returned it. Outside he was nearly just as stiff as usual, but inside his gratitude for her and her constant standing by his side was very evident.

I quietly teased her as we walked off that she was "Mother Gaya" and she pushed me with her hip, but looked away, blushing. I think there were tears in her eyes. I took her hand and held it, understanding completely. Her gratitude when she looked at me made me blush back. She laughed and grabbed me in another hug.

Izark finds me and claims his spot next to my side, having to leap into the sky and land next to me to get to me. The bowl is pretty packed and it's hard for him and I to move around without getting stopped by someone wanting to talk to us. Even walking together it's that way. He manages to disentangle us from one more kind person and we look at each other. His eyes say what mine are saying.

Before we can be accosted one more time, he picks me up and we are in the air. That was just a leap. Before we can start falling, we're flying. I sigh and put my head on his shoulder and enjoy the feeling of the wind on my face. It isn't too long, though, and he's setting my feet on the top of the city wall. We're out of sight and, while we can still hear the celebration, it's muted.

I slump in exhaustion, letting the Fairy Queen go. He relaxes as well, letting me go, but still holding lightly to one of my hands. I look down at my dress and rub my hand lightly down the fancy embroidery with a sigh. I really love this dress, but won't ever be wearing it again. "It is beautiful," Izark says, then leans over me. "You're beautiful."

I blush as his romanticism stirs me yet again, as always. He lightly brushes my jaw with his other hand. Ah, he does love to flirt. I lift my chin and lightly brush my cheek on his and he freezes slightly, then reluctantly lets me go. He must have some other reason for bringing me here that he wants to focus on for now.

I reach up and rub my hand on his clothes. They are stunning on him, although not his normal wear. "Yours is also, Izark. You dress up well, although anything looks good on you, you're so beautiful." I let my wandering hand move up so the tips of my fingers just lightly brush his neck and he shivers slightly. He takes my hand in his and kisses the fingertips that just touched him. "I would say you've definitely earned the right to call yourself the Fairy King, and you did wonderfully today ...better than I did for certain."

He smiles at me. "You did very well," he kindly contradicts me, "I hope you had fun, too."

I smile, "I did. I'm not really in a hurry to see the day end, actually, although it was definitely time to not be with other people." He agrees as he reaches into his jacket, pulls out a small pouch, and places it into the hand of mine that he's holding. I carefully open it and gently shake the contents out into my palm.

I'm looking at a finely crafted ring. In the center is a sapphire the color of his eyes and set around it is a ring of what are probably diamonds. Of course I'm giving them Earth names. I have no idea what kinds of stones they are.

Then I look at them once again, using the sight. They're moonstones, which are more prized in this world. They're all very clear as well, energetically as well as in formation. The sapphire is also, but there's something.... I look at it closer, then realize that he's placed some of "himself" in it. I'm not sure if it's his power, or his energy, or what, but it is "him". "How did you do that?" I ask, supremely curious.

He just grins at me and won't say. Instead he takes it from me and slips it on my left ring-finger. "I learned it was a tradition of your people," he says to me.

I look up at him in surprise, then break into a teary smile. "Thank you, Izark." He looks at me in slight surprise, then smiles softly, wipes my cheek, and gives me a kiss that I return.

"Your present is in the room," I tell him. "I couldn't carry it with me, the way this dress is made, sorry."

Izark shrugs and gives me a romantic flirtatious once over with his eyes that makes me squirm inside just a little. I try to hold the Queen pose on the outside. "No, I suppose not," he allows. He does like to make me blush.

I turn away to hide it and take a breath. "I had a hard time, actually, deciding what to get you. Not only do you fight and need to have something that won't get in the way, or get caught, but you transform. I know you control that, but we never know when you're going to need to transform what. That meant I couldn't get anything that would get in the way of that, or get destroyed in the process. It was really hard."

Izark steps up to me and slips a hand around my waist. "Sorry to be difficult."

"Oh, no. It's not that," but his eyes are teasing so I relax. "Well, I'll give it to you anyway, when we get back."

He leans over me and we can both feel we're nearly at the end of our capacity to resist. He pauses, then kisses me lightly. "I think I'd like to go and see what it is," he says in my ear, "as we pass by on the way to the bridal bower." He blushes just saying it and I almost giggle. He's romantic, but talking about the real thing is always a step too difficult for him.

I look up at him through my lashes. "I like that thought, ...but how are we supposed to get there from here?" He blinks, then laughs his silent laugh -- at himself this time.

We end up walking it, just enjoying each other's company in the peace and happiness of the day. He tells me what the men have been planning for the next steps in helping their countries move back towards peace and light, and what he's been thinking of doing. I listen closely, glad to know that we'll still be moving forward also.

"Let's see." Izark looks up at the ceiling briefly as he sees a map in his head. "It's a bit of jumping around to get to the town of the Flower Festival, and then to the sea of trees and then back to the other places to go."

He looks at me with a speculative look on his face. "Have you seen the flying creatures of our planet yet? They look kind of like the dragon, I think, but not quite. We tame them and ride them when we need to go long distances over land in a short amount of time. Not all countries have them, but I think we could rent one to get us to those places and back again."

My eyes go wide. "No way, you have them? That would be an awesome [honeymoon]. Those kinds of creatures are myth in my world, but everyone who likes that kind of thing wishes we had them.

"We do have [airplanes], mechanical flight we've created using high forces like your power to push them forward. Once I'm in the university, I'll find someone who has the mental power to understand the concept and draw it for them. I don't have the knowledge to actually create one, but just a picture and understanding what little I do know will get the right person started on the path to making them."

He looks at me startled. "Is that why you want to go to the university."

I nod. "I have so much knowledge in my head that I'd like to pass around, even though it's just little bits and pieces. I can't actually create most of it, but I can plant the seeds. The minds of others will make them happen, even if it's several generations from now. That's how we gained our knowledge.

"Someone had an idea and wrote it down. Several, or many, others worked hard to come up with how to actually make it happen. The knowledge gets used for good or evil based on the hearts of men, as all things, but overall, it's benefited our world greatly for the good of all. I'm sure not all of the ideas from my world will be used here, but if even a few help the people here, then I would be happy to share what I know."

I look off into the distance. "I'd like to stop at Calco, too. I want to see if the innkeeper's wife's cousin figured out how to make [safety pins]. And I need to have a deep discussion with the Doctor. I promised I'd tell him if the [immunization] worked and how it worked.

"I had a better way to do it, even then, but it was too difficult to teach it because I didn't have the words yet. I want to teach it to him so he can experiment and see if he can help other children and people of this world to not have to live through those horrible diseases."

Izark stiffens just a little and I look at him curiously. "By the way, you never did tell me, other than to say it was faster. How did my episodes compare to what usually happens?"

He looks away, then puts his hand over his eyes. "Please, don't ask."

I pout. "But Izark, how can I help the Doctor help his patients, if I don't know." I pull on his sleeve, begging him to tell me. He shakes his head and I begin tormenting him.

He finally relents just enough to say he'll tell the Doctor and I can listen then, maybe, but then the Doctor will know who we are. "It was too different," Izark says gently in the end, "I do know that much. Maybe you can tell him the other method and it will help him, but I'm not sure telling him what happened to you will."

I look at him for a moment, my brow furrowed in confusion, then finally sigh and nod. "Okay. Tell him and me and maybe he can explain why it was different for me. I didn't fully understand what he was trying to tell me then, either."

Izark watches me for a minute to make sure I'm sufficiently satisfied for now, then relaxes with a sigh. "You really were difficult then."

I poke him, "You were, too, trying to be strong when you couldn't even stand. ...But thanks for not dying anyway, and for saving me, too."

He scoops me up in his arms again and we pass through the cloth covering the door to our room. He kisses me and sets me on the edge of the bed. "Thank you for saving me -- then and now." 

"[You're welcome]," I smile at him and pat the bed next to me. He sits down facing me, one leg tucked up. I run my fingertips over the cloth of his pant leg. It's a smooth, satin-like fabric. I rise and go to the little dresser, open the top drawer and pull out his present, wrapped in cloth. 

As I do, Izark asks, "Where did you learn to throw like that? I was amazed at your excellent aim. You never missed until you got too tired."

I pause before turning back around. "My brother and I would toss a ball to each other every Sunday afternoon, or whenever either of us needed to burn off steam." I lift my head, closing my eyes, remembering. "It became our time, where he and I could just have fun being together.

"It got to be important when he graduated from school and started working. I was pretty lonely at school, and he worried about me, so he always made sure to make that time for me." I look back down at the package in my hand. I suppose my smile might be a little sad, although I do feel better having "talked" to them all today. "I was very grateful he did."

Izark's hand is under my hair on the back of my neck and he's turning me to him, to pull me into his chest. "Don't leave me, Noriko," he begs. His package is pressed between the two of us, and it's a bit uncomfortable.

I take a breath, then shake my head. "I won't. I'm sorry. ...It's actually why I don't talk about them. It makes me too sad. Maybe some day, maybe after we send them my journal and they aren't so sad either, and I can feel we've shared that time in some way, I'll be able to talk about my family and my past without feeling so sad."

Izark won't let me go and is shivering slightly. Finally he says, "I hope so, Noriko. That's the second time you've almost left me. Your body goes transparent and I can feel it slipping away from this world."

My eyes fly open in shock and I gasp. "I - I'm so sorry, Izark." I'm distressed. "I didn't know. I won't do it again." I move one arm to wrap it around him and hold him. I do wonder how just missing my family makes me try to return to them without my knowledge. If I missed him once I got there, would I be able to slip back? I'm afraid of the answer. It sounds like ‘no'. "I won't," I say again, trying to set it into my cells.

Izark finally lets go and I hold his hand back to the bed. We sit down next to each other again. This time I'm facing him with my feet tucked up under me. "Here. It's your present." 

He takes it, puts it in his lap and carefully unwraps it. Inside the cloth is a belt, curled up in a spiral. He lifts it and slides it through his hand. "It's beautiful, Noriko," he says, looking at all the details of the tooling of the leatherwork designs. It really is. It's even set with sparkling stones, most notably the blue ones in the eyes of the birds. Birds was the closest I could find to dragons on short notice. 

"You manage to not destroy your belt, and you always need one for your sword," I explain.

Izark nods silently, still inspecting it. "What if I lose the stones?" he finally asks.

I shrug. "That happens over time to everything. We can get more and have them reset or maybe the belt itself will wear out and we'll replace it with a different one." I smile when he looks up at me, the look saying he'll never replace it.

"It isn't too uncommon. I would have requested a specific design, but there wasn't time. I had to get what was available. I'll have one special made with the design I really wanted and give it to you for our tenth, or twentieth anniversary, whenever this one wears out." He still isn't wanting to think that way. "You can then keep this one curled up in your dresser to pull out whenever you want to remember today." He blinks, then nods.

After a minute, he says, "I guess we will settle down some day, won't we?"

I tip my head at him. "I can't very well work at a university if we're still wandering all over, can I?"

He smiles, "No, I don't suppose so. And if I have to go somewhere, there will be a place to come home to." The word and the warmth of "home" hangs in the air between us.

I slowly reach up and put my hand on his face. "Izark.... I can't wait to make a home with you. You are a wonderful husband and will make a wonderful, and fun, father."

He presses my hand to his cheek, then turns to kiss my palm. "Thank you, Noriko. Thank you for being ‘home'."

We've all gone our separate ways for now. On Earth that would have been expected for Izark and I -- we're going on honeymoon after all. The flying dinosaur (more dinosaur to me than dragon) ride has been awesome, although a helmet to protect my face would have been nice. We're circling over the town of flowers and there are cries in the village square. We're waiting for them to get a clue we need to land.

I'm sitting in the saddle and Izark is standing behind me holding the reins. He gives the signal to descend and we go slowly. The villagers finally scatter. Most of them won't remember us, but I do see the Mayor, Kizak, and Ninya hurrying out of the mayor's mansion.

Even though we were with them only about two days and two nights, Ninya and I greet each other with hugs. I'm happy to be here again. It was a fun visit before, even if it did end bad, and I'm excited to finally get our things back. The Mayor told us she had them before we were even off the dinosaur.

Izark holds its head while Kizak talks to him. He was also a wandering warrior before settling down with Ninya, so is probably the only one in this village not afraid of the winged dinosaur. I'm glad to see his foot is healed and he's getting around just fine now.

We're dragged in for lunch and conversation, but we sadly have to tell them we can't stay. Just leaving the dinosaur in the square for a few hours is causing a lot of consternation. There isn't any stable to leave it with here. We do promise to come visit again, if we can.

"Noriko," Ninya asks, "when you left in a hurry, and then there was a strange disturbance in the sky, and your horse came back without you, we were very worried. We were glad to get your message, and I'm so glad to see you're okay. What happened?" After a bit of silent consultation, we decide to tell at least these three the truth, to some degree.

"A powerful person with two seers did some strange thing to send a powerful warrior who had a personal grudge to attack Izark. It scared the horse off, and I hid while they fought. The person who was using the warrior wanted me, for some reason, and his seers found me and took me back to where they were. Izark went through to save me and we were stuck on the Eastern Continent until we could earn enough money to get back.

"Izark hit a sweet deal of a job that earned us enough to rent the creature we came in on, and made him decide we could afford to have a real wedding, so we're having fun for a few days." I grin. "We only have it for a few days, though. They're pretty expensive. There are a few more places I want to see while we can travel long distances, then we have to get back to work."

"That's so cool!" Ninya says. "Was it a beautiful wedding?"

I nod enthusiastically. "It was wonderful. I was in heaven all day."

Kizak is giving Izark a kind smirk of a look and Izark is looking away from it, purposely dodging. They must have had some kind of conversation when we were here last. Kizak leans forward, leaning on his interlaced fingers knowingly. "Sooo, Izark.... Are you going to settle down now?"

Izark blushes at the tips of his ears. "Not just yet ...but soon."

I raise an eyebrow and smoothly step in. "Oh, no, not yet!" I look at Kizak as if in distress. "I love traveling. It's been so fun to be with Izark. I love it."

"What about children, dear?" the mayor asks practically.

I blush like I should, although it's an act. "Ah..., well..., I suppose when it's time...."

They all laugh and the mayor pats my head. "I'm sure you'll get there, and want to settle down. That will be soon enough, I'm sure." I nod and they turn the conversation, like they should.

I get a kiss and a "thanks" when Izark is helping me back on the dinosaur.

"No problem," I answer pragmatically, "This is the only place I'm not a princess or a lost islander, so it's a lot easier. I get to be just the blushing wife."

Izark pauses, then kisses me again more passionately -- and it turns out, more publicly. We get a few cat calls and whistles. He grins at me, and I know he's done it to tease me the "blushing wife". So I blush, just for him. That makes him laugh. I'm happy.

I have a lot of writing to catch up on before I send my journals to my dad and Calco is close to the sea of trees, so we head there next. I have a lot to do there as well. We're going to take at least three or four days there, probably, but since Izark helped them it shouldn't be too much trouble. I'll have to go back to being the island girl, though. That does make me sigh, but it's the oldest lie, so I suppose I have a lot of practice with it now.

We land outside the village and take our baggage off the winged dinosaur. We've been told that it will stick around, fending for itself, until we use the whistle to call for it again. I hope it doesn't eat all the villager's livestock.

I wrap my arm around Izark's waist and smile up at him. He leans down for a quick peck on the lips. I think he's a little nervous. Maybe it's the conversation with the Doctor, I'm not sure. I'm a wiggly puppy on the inside, myself, and he's trying to soothe that part, but I laugh at him and dance away.

He's carrying four bags, and I'm carrying two, but still, he catches up quickly, that super-strength-and-speed of his. He picks me up and adds me to the baggage on his shoulder. I feel like I felt when he did that to run to get us away from the flower worms, and it's just as uncomfortable.

I push up-right, making it difficult for him to balance it all, and scowl down at him. His look gets meanly teasing and my eyes widen. I drop down and we are in the air, leaving a squeal of mine behind.

Izark lands us on a building and I'm frustrated. I wanted to go see the Doctor first thing. I can't if we're on a roof. bound -- bound -- bound -- thud. He carries me into the building he's taken us to. It's the inn we stayed at the first time. He sets me down as the innkeeper turns around at the front desk. He stares at us, then is yelling for his wife.

"It's so good to see you again! Are you traveling back this way?" he asks us. I nod and he's pulling a key off his board and handing it to Izark. "It's on the house. Stay as long as you want. ...We'll throw a party for you at dinner tonight."

The blood drains from Izark's face and he looks like he's going to really regret being here at Calco. I snicker into my hand and he throws me a glare. It doesn't help and I have to turn away and double up. "Noriko!" he scolds.

"I'm sorry, really, but I do like being here, even if you don't. I'll try to protect you."

He rolls his eyes and groans. "You have no idea."

He heads up to the room to put the bags away as the innkeeper's wife grabs my hand and starts talking a mile a minute. Suddenly she pulls up short with a gasp, then very carefully and slowly starts over. I grin at her. "First, I'm Noriko. What's your name, please?"

She stops in surprise. "My name is Mannie, my husband is Gordo."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, again, Mannie, Gordo," I bow slightly to both of them. "This time, it shouldn't be so hard," I smile kindly, "I've learned the language sufficiently." They blink then grin. "Thank you for taking such good care of Izark and I last time."

The pleasantries over, I turn to Mannie. "Okay. So start over a little slower. How far did your cousin get? I'm dying to hear."

She opens her mouth, then closes it again. "No. Come with me. You should see it. He can explain it all better." I nod enthusiastically. I really want to see it and talk to him.

"Izark, I'm headed to the blacksmith's. Do you want to see how far he's gotten making pins?"

He literally groans in my head. "No. I'm not coming out until I have to."

My eyebrow rises. He's actually throwing a petulant tantrum, lying on the bed, his hands behind his head, scowling at me. I pause. There are things I will have to learn about this town and what happened. "Okay. I'll go explore, wake up the town, and find out why you don't want to come back. Then I'll know what to do to protect you." He snorts and rolls over. I shake my head and follow Mannie.

It's great, awesome, neat-o-keen-cool. I'm dancing in excitement inside. Izark's put up a strong wall, but still, he's looking over my shoulder since I got so excited. The blacksmith cousin's actually done it. They are small enough, safe enough, etc. They aren't quite as flexible so will wear out a little faster, the iron still being too close to cast iron, but it works.

I've stood still for the metallurgical lecture, since I want to know. He hands me a bag with my payment of 200 pins in it. He's already getting wealthy from the ladies in this town, I can tell. His wife is just as excited, actually, and tells me that she's been handling the sales end of it and they already have a salesman that comes and picks them up and sells them in the next few towns over.

I grin at her and at him. "Are you ready for your next contract, then?" The blacksmith freezes and his eyes and face go avaricious, though it isn't too bad. "...Actually, I hope you aren't the only blacksmith in town...?"

He shakes his head, "There's another couple, actually."

I nod, "Good. You're likely going to have to move." His wife blinks at that.

He studies me then nods, "I figured." Good boy.

"I want you to go find a swordsmith that understands which metal you're missing. It should be lighter in color when you're done smelting, not so dark. Then they'll have the elasticity they need to be more flexible and last longer. Even mine are nearly dead, though, so you'll still have repeat work. I've almost not come in time for mine."

I pull one of them out of my pocket and hand it over. "You can have this one so that you have the metal sample." It really is almost dead. "Once you think you've got the metal mix right, set up shop in a big city. You'll get more sales in a big place, and have better access to merchants.

"I want twelve percent of your income off the sale of pins. ...And whatever else you make that uses the technology." I point to the samples he's been working on for other similar products.

"You should know you've got competition," I add in the interest of open trading. "I sold this idea to one other blacksmith on our way, as I needed more materials. I haven't been back to see him yet, so I don't know how far he's come." Healthy competition is very good. That lights a fire under him. He disappears and reappears with paper and pen. I read over his shoulder as he writes up the contract.

He pauses just before getting to the signatures. "Ah..., how will I reach you, to pay you?"

I smile at him. "I have access to seers. We'll come find you again, or you can just use one yourself to look for me when you're ready to set up shop and let me know where you are. Have them look for Noriko.

"We're going to be on the road a lot still. When we decide where we're going to settle, I'll let you know, and you can decide then if you're going to come to me or if we'll just keep it a business relationship."

He gives me a suspicious look. "What would you want me to do next?"

A slow smile comes on my face. "I have so much I want to experiment with making, but it all needs fine work like this, and I don't have the blacksmith's skill." I'm thinking microscope, actually. Need a glass worker for that.

"Find a partner who knows glass work and likes to experiment. I won't be there for probably ten years, give or take three, so you've got time to decide." We can start with prescription glasses. The two of them could work together on that. "Well..., if you find a partner before then, I've got something you two could start on while Izark and I are still traveling."

A slow, very happy grin comes on his face. He holds out his hand. I take it in a clasp. "It's very nice doing business with you, Noriko, my partner." I grin back. He signs the document with a flourish and hands me the pen. I sign it as well. He writes up another and we sign that and I take my copy, folding it and putting it in my pocket for now. I leave the shop with my 200 pins, Mannie, and a big grin on my face.

"Is that why you're so excited? Money?"

I grin at the image of Izark sitting up in the bed, looking at me curiously. "Not money; although, it's the way I'll help you with that. It's the first realization of the ideas from my world that I've brought, and the excitement of the next few I've put into place with him just now, although it's still just the germ. I need craftsmen who I can work with to implement the ideas.

"To see that it can be done, and have others be excited, too, makes me happy. ...Oh, you don't know why this is a big deal. I'll show you when we get back." I grab Mannie's hand and run. She stumbles a bit in surprise, then laughs at me. "How are you liking your pins?" I ask her.

I hear a sigh of delight. "I'm loving them. Thank you sooo much. All the girls and ladies of the town are."

"I'm so glad to hear it," I say as we slip into the inn. "I wish I could do even more for us ladies, but I'll have to scratch my head for a few years, I think...or find a [chemist]."

She looks at me blankly, but I didn't expect her to understand that word. I'll be looking for my chemist at the universities. "It's already enough, really," she says.

I look at her, my eyes glinting. "Oh, no. It's just the beginning," I say. "I'm an inventor. I have lots of ideas. I'm so glad this one was so successful."

I'm up the stairs two at a time, headed for our room. I know right where he is (they kindly didn't give us the one at the end of the hall). Izark is waiting for me, still sitting up on the bed, "So, what is it all the women in this city are excited about?" 

I drop the bag in his hands, "We'll sell these as we go, a few at a time to tantalize and tempt so that when he's ready to really begin production and sell, he's already got a market, but I need four for myself right now."

He pulls out four and looks at them on his palm, "Okay. Show me."

I grin, "Are you ready for that first lecture all over again?" He gives me a horrified look and slowly turns pink. I laugh, "Okay, it won't be quite that bad, but that's what it's related to."

He shakes his head, "Do I really have to hear it?"

I plop down on the bed with him, my (clean) cloth in my hands. "So, those pads I wouldn't let you leave behind were to soak up the blood, right?" His heart sinks. I'm on a roll. "But they only lasted the first day...less, actually. Mannie, the innkeeper's wife, taught me what's done here and gave me supplies. It's horrible really, a rope belt you tie cloths to, and super uncomfortable. Trust me on that."

He nods, really not wanting to know more than that. "But the pins let me pin the cloth to my undergarments." I show him like I showed Mannie at the beginning, pinning the cloth to my overdress, learning how these new pins work in the process. I look at it for a minute, then move the pin to the outside. That works for the dress. I shrug. I'll have to experiment another time.

"In my world, we have a sticky substance that doesn't destroy the undergarment that holds the pad to the cloth. It's the most comfortable way and the cloth can't shift. Even with the pins the cloth shifts, which is annoying. When I find a chemist at a university, I'll have him start working on either velcro or temporary adhesives.

"Then we'll be so wealthy it won't matter what we do or where we go. Women make up half the population, after all, and both technologies are useful in many other ways." I look up at him.

He has an interesting look on his face, "I don't think I've ever seen you look more dragon," he says. "You really are going to swim in gold, aren't you?"

I stare at him, then give an embarrassed giggle and look away, then sigh and look down, "You make it sound as if I'm driven by greed."

A soft apology comes across the emotional link and he reaches for me. "I'm sorry, Noriko. I know you're excited.

"It surprises me, although I suppose it shouldn't. I certainly understand needing to be paid for what I'm good at doing if I want to survive, and support you. This is what you can do, and it shouldn't be taken advantage of. Your twelve percent surprised me, actually. It seemed low."

I nod, still not looking up. "It is, but this product, and the future technologies, are going to be so popular that I had to find a number that would make it sound like I believed in it, but wouldn't be too unreasonable in the end. Even at twelve percent for just this product and technology we would be wealthy, for a traveling warrior and wife. ...We will be. In a few years.

"Ah, well, we are since you defeated an entire army and seventeen special warriors, but it will be okay to spend it as we need to because eventually this one will pay off as well. I guess...I was also thinking for our future. You'll get too --" I cut off. Even that isn't true. He isn't likely to. "...busy being political." I give a small sad grin. We've already agreed with the leaders of the nations we met in Ennamarna we'll at least let the presidents and kings of the nations know what we are so they know who can help them if they need it.

He looks at me silently for a moment, sets aside the bag of pins, and pulls me to him to hold me. He doesn't say anything for a while. We don't really know yet if he'll age or not, but we're both thinking he won't. He's physically part of the world of light and the world of light is life. I finally sigh and set it aside again. There isn't any use worrying about it. We'll live life together, fully savoring each moment we do have. I snuggle in deeper.

Suddenly there's the sound of people bursting into the inn, making lots of noise. "Where are they?!" It's very loud and Izark is suddenly stiff with fright. I'm up and leaning my back against the door, holding it closed.

"Oh, no. I forgot," I say, horrified.

"You forgot?!" Izark exclaims.

"Well..., not when I tell the story, just when I think about all the things I set into motion that I want to get back to check on. Who is he?"

Izark slaps his hand to his face, "Only the mayor."

I stare at him, aghast, "The mayor?!'

Izark nods, a dismayed look on his face, "He wanted to keep you here. We remind him of his daughter who ran away with a handsome man, then died when she got sick. He has a thing against handsome men ever since."

I give Izark a pitying look, "I'm sorry. I'm glad he didn't make me stay. I would have killed him on the third day. I've never liked him."

Izark laughs a short bark, "I would have left you with him to let you and come back for you. The link wouldn't have let me stay away anyway. We wouldn't have been able to come back, though, ever."

"No..., not if he's the mayor." I sigh. The mayor won't move. He's quite insistent that we come out to see him. "Well, let me figure out how to deal with him ...but you'll likely have to endure. It's a public party tonight." I look at him sympathetically. He sighs dramatically.

I hear another, calmer voice, and I'm excited again, cautiously though. Izark raises an eyebrow at me, then sighs and stands up. "Okay. If they're both here...."

My eyes light up, "It'll be easier for me to defend you with both of them here, and it should be done before everyone shows up." He nods and I move off the door so we can go out. 

I hold onto the back of his jacket as we walk down the hall to the top of the stairs. As soon as I see the two men at the foot of the stairs, I let go of Izark and run down them (he stays at the top as far away as he can politely get from the mayor) and grab the doctor in a big hug. "Doctor! I'm so glad to see you again!"

He holds me, patting my back awkwardly. "Noriko. I'm glad to see you're healthy." He pushes me back to make sure I am.

I grin and nod. "Izark was very patient and helped me a lot. He was careful to wait by the river until the symptoms began and helped me survive them." I shiver. "Some of them were very bad. Izark says he'll sit with us and the three of us can talk about it. And I have other things I want to tell you, now that I can."

I take a breath and he's blinking at me, "You're as noisy speaking now as you were drawing pictures," he says without thinking about what he's saying. When it catches up he blushes.

I laugh. "Yes, I am," I admit. "It won't be easy, sitting with me again. I'll take your whole day and wish for more... except I have writing I need to catch up on, too."

"I won't have to read it, will I?" he asks timidly.

I shake my head. "No." He relaxes, then looks embarrassed by that, too.

"Has he really been taking care of you properly!?" the mayor blasts in my ear.

I wince and turn to him, not hiding my displeasure any more than I did at the beginning. "Yes, thank you for asking. I couldn't ask for a better husband. Izark is so patient. No other man would have done for me what he's done, and keep me alive through those painful days."

I stare him down. "I see you haven't learned to speak quietly since I was here last. Do you really have to follow the Doctor around everywhere? I take it he's your childhood friend that has the patience to keep you around."

The silence is rather stunning. Finally the doctor sighs. "I told you she wouldn't like to see you this time around any more than last time." He looks placatingly at me. "He really does want you to like him, if you could."

I stare at the mayor. "Do you think you could be nice to my husband, then? I'm not too disposed to being nice to people who can't be nice to a good man that I love. You didn't set a very good first impression. He didn't even want to come because of you." The doctor is now trying to calm me with his hands, and Mannie and Gordo are both as well.

"Ah, well, no, you're right," the mayor rubs the back of his head. "I do have troubles. I'm sorry. If he's been properly taking care of you, then I guess there can't be any complaints."

"There aren't any," I say firmly. "My adoptive father was quite happy to give me away at our wedding, knowing Izark was going to take care of me." That quashes him for good, that I've taken a different father than him. I only feel a very teeny tiny bit bad I've taken that dream from him, but really, he's as bad as Banadam, going off and believing whatever he wants. I'd not take him as a father for anything.

The doctor, and even Izark just a little, winces. I ignore it and turn to Gordo. "How much time do we have? I have things I want to talk to the Doctor about." The doctor and Mannie both pat the mayor on the back consolingly. In Calco, I've earned the reputation for being very willful and strong.

I look up the trunk of the tree I arrived under. The moss is still soft and golden, the roots still smooth and cool. The flower worms run when we come near. I was glad we could fly over the mountain, although we've had to walk into the woods.

It took longer than I thought to catch up on the writing, and I kept Izark busy by making him write it in the native language of this planet so we have a copy of our story here to give to Ennemarna to keep with their other records of the stories of light and darkness. (I'd read it out loud and he'd write.) I'll practice my writing by transcribing it one more time. I want to give a copy to Doctor Clairgeeta when we go to the Eastern Continent.

Our day with the Calco doctor was enlightening, but Izark was right. My experience was too different to help him. I was able to explain why I'd done it, though, and the preferred method of using dried, dead cells of previously infected skin. He'll have to figure out injection methods that are better. I remembered that just scratching the skin might be effective, although sketchy in my book.

The blood to blood method we originally used on me is not the best method since all kinds of things transfer, and I let him know that. If he wants to just affect single diseases then he needs to just deal with them one at a time. I wished him good luck and I'll check back with him in ten years or so. He's promised to keep written records.

The cobbler came and found me at the doctor's office, bringing both a pair of boots and a pair of shoes with him for me to inspect. The doctor had grinned and given a rave review, proudly showing me his newest pair of boots. I inspected the offerings critically and made the doctor admit he'd welcome the minor changes I suggested. I've promised that glues will be one of the things I work on early in my research (for two purposes) and send the cobbler samples to experiment with "in the field".

I'm a bit too nervous to step onto the moss and Izark holds out his hand for my books. For all I wished to see a portal appear when I first arrived and never saw one, now I don't want to be near it when it does come. I hand the books over. He takes them and the chimos to the center of the bed of moss.

It seems that location is a ‘transference' location. Like the transporter deck of the Enterprise. An explosion of some kind got me started from Earth. Here, Izark can use his own power, and the chimos (expressing the desire for the thing to go, and where to) and the books will go. I take a breath, calm down, and drop into the world of light, meeting Izark on the other side of my nexus.

He holds on to me so I don't leave him and I show him where my house and desk are. It's the easiest place to leave the books. We've included a letter so that I can tell them that I'd like it published and that we're happy and doing well. Izark dictated to me what he wanted to say to them -- "thank you for your daughter; I'm taking care of her the best I can" -- that kind of thing.

While I hold the image of "where", Izark cautiously sends the books and letter to "there". We see them arrive. He holds me anchored while I send my family my love and tell them we're happy ...and that there's a gift for them in my room. They're all sleeping so likely they'll have strange dreams. Izark holds me in the world of light as I gaze on my family fondly, then we return to the sea of trees.

Izark holds my hand tightly as we walk out of the sea of trees. I think he's worried I'm going to fade away again since we've been looking at my family. "Izark, it's okay. I'm feeling better now that I know they'll be able to know I'm alive. We can go check on them in a day or two and then I'll know they're happy for us. Even if they're sad they can't see me, that will be enough for all of us, I think." Actually, I wonder if their sorrow and desire to see me is what pulls me through, too. I don't think I'll test it, though. "I won't leave." I look up into his eyes earnestly.

He leans down and rests his forehead on my head, then sighs and kisses me. "Please don't," he requests, "I might be able to live without you, but it would be a very lonely life ...quiet... but lonely."

I snort. "Yeah, mine would be too. Quiet and lonely. All this adventuring doesn't happen in my world, unless I decide to do something like climb Mount Everest -- not likely -- or become a world traveler. That's not really as easy there as here, for all there are trains and buses and airplanes. Those things just make it more expensive to travel, and I don't have an income there as a student. I'd go stir-crazy, I think."

I stop and reach up to put my arms around his neck and pull him down to kiss him. "And I'd miss you something awful," I say quietly. "I really couldn't survive there anymore, I think...not unless you came with me."

Izark holds me and for a moment the emotions of the two dragons who claim each other as treasures swirl around us, taking my breath away. We have the winged dinosaur stop at the top of the mountain in the little pass where we exited the cave system under the mountain so we can finish what that started. As we recover, Izark looks into that opening, where no one has entered since we left. "You know...," he says and looks at me. "I almost didn't take you out of there."

I nod. "Yeah, you almost left me. It was nice of you to come back for your bag...and me."

"Well, you did hold it hostage, but even then I couldn't say ‘no' to you," he says as if not really thinking about his words, "but that's not it. I knew if I did, you would have a very hard life. When we came out on top of the mountain and it was here, I almost had us stay. It would have hidden us both away from the world and their selfish desires to see us used against our wills."

"So, what changed your mind? I fought you hard enough I would think you would have given up and let me stay trapped on the mountain."

Izark shifts a little uncomfortably. "Well, two reasons. One was that there isn't anything to eat up here, really, so I would have had to go into town regularly -- and Calco was farther than I was thinking it was from here. The other one...," he looks away and his ears go pink.

I laugh. "I'd just given you a lecture on the female monthly cycle and you had no idea how to handle that when it showed up."

The pink goes to his cheeks and he nods, "I thought at that point it would be better to leave you in the first town we came to with a family that had a mother who could help you with that."

I nod. "Yes, when you first rescued me you didn't understand my words, but when we first landed by the river, I asked you to just get me out to the first city we came to and then you were free to go on about your business. I expected to be left there, though once we were there, I didn't want to be. Even then it hurt too much to want that."

Izark is still looking away, "I did think about leaving you up here alone, I got so angry that you wouldn't come. I figured you'd figure out a way to deal on your own, but that's when I first felt the fear and pain of leaving you behind. Before then, it had been me just being nice." He looks down and picks a blade of grass and twirls it in his fingers.

"I didn't understand it, really, but when I went to take the first step on the path without you and leave you here, and you were standing there with your eyes covered, I couldn't do it. That realization scared me, so I stopped thinking and the next thing I knew I was holding your hand and we were already on the path together.

"I kept asking myself what I was doing, and the question itself kept scaring me so I stopped thinking altogether ...just long enough have you off-balance." Izark blows his bangs out of his face, then rolls his eyes at me. "That look of yours of calm apology ...I could only meet it with calm rescuing. It was as if we were so joined already that it didn't matter any more."

He looks down and his face is soft. "The whole rest of that time, until the Doctor told me what you had done, was calm like that, even when you cried so much about our fall.

"When I look back on it, I would say the world of light was calming me, telling me that this was the right path, the right thing to be doing. It didn't always stay that way, of course," we both grin wryly, "but the memory of the difference between the panic of leaving you behind and the calm of keeping you with me never left me."

He's quiet for a moment, then gestures at the cave opening again. "What about if we make that the dragon cave? I doubt anyone else knows it exists."

I sit up straight and stare at him for moment, then at the cave mouth, then back at him. "Actually...," it's a strange feeling in my breast, "I would like that... although it feels odd. Not to live in, but to know we can come back here. And to hide, but not hide...," I'm frowning, "It's weird."

Izark nods without looking at me, "Yes, it is, but it also feels right."

I nod agreeing. After a bit, he gets up and heads for the winged dinosaur. He pulls off two of the four bags of gold (travel bags, not small pouches). When he gets back to me, he holds out his hand and pulls me up when I give him my hand. "We'll come back when you're ready to start your university," he says to me, "or when we run out, whichever comes first."

He lights a branch and hands it to me. I hold it as we hold hands and step over the rock wall piece on the ground. We'll have to set that back up on our way out to make sure this place stays hidden. "And we'll come back to add to it when my inventions start bringing in more than we can spend," I say.

He nods, then looks at me with a small smile, "And someday, there will be enough for us to sleep on and swim in."

I laugh, "Not likely, but we can at least come count it every once in a while, like the pirate king and saucy wench." He grabs me in the pirate king hold and I sway my hips and look at him flirtatiously. "Except that we would need to add the other treasures, too, not just the gold ...the necklaces, jewelry, crowns, gold platters, you know [pieces of eight]."

He pushes me up against the wall and holds me close between it and him. His look is very dragon-possessive. "I only need one treasure," he says silkily, his eyes going sapphire blue.

I'm transfixed by his closeness and the blue. "I'm yours," I say obediently.

The blue descends. "Good." I taste blue as lips touch mine and I explode -- softly, slowly, and completely explode.

Chapter Text

Doctor Clairgeeta and Izark have just finished telling me the latest news from the government building of Aibisk, where they're helping to finish formulate the new peace treaties of the Eastern Continent. We rise from the dinner table in Doctor Clairgeeta's home and move to the sitting room for after-dinner drinks and conversation.

Doctor Clairgeeta asks on the way, "Will you tell me what you two did on the Western Continent to help the governments there? I've heard they're coming along well. I know you two helped, but you aren't mentioned in the stories that have made it over here."

Izark and I smile at each other as we move, holding hands, to sit together on the settee, while Doctor Clairgeeta takes his favorite comfortable chair that supports his back nicely. He's been kind to allow us to stay with him while we're here on the Eastern Continent. Izark starts the story as he takes a poured glass of wine. I'm handed a glass of fruit juice that is naturally lightly sweet and thank the server.

"We ended our trip together on the winged dinosaur in Zago at Gaya's home. Our friends had made it there by then and met us. Grand Duke Jeida, his wife, family, and men were also there, waiting for us, and starting to get a feel for how the people of Zago felt and what they wanted to see as positive changes in Zago. While we were there, Irktule, the spirit of the morning mist tree, came to Noriko and said that there were evil men in the white mist woods and asked if we would come help.

"Barago, Agol, and I went to help." Izark smiles at me. "Noriko came, too, of course. She and I took the rear wagon of the merchant caravan that was leaving to go through the white mist woods the next day, while Barago took the front and Agol the middle. They were happy to hire us, since, even though we'd gotten rid of the demon and the monster, there'd been bandit attacks again.

"The bandits had put a wagon in the pathway. When they attacked, I knocked them back and Barago scolded them. They were the fighters he'd fought with in Lord Nada's fighting ring. I recognized them, and Lord Nada's stench when I was in the air, so as soon as they were on the ground I was leaping for Lord Nada."

Izark shudders, "He's such a worm. Since he hadn't stayed down before, I landed on his shoulders to put him back where he belonged. Really, he never learned, needing to see other people's blood for his own amusement."

I laugh, "It was so funny to see Izark hold him with two fingers and a thumb like he was holding a dirty, smelly dishrag. He didn't even want to touch him." Doctor Clairgeeta smiles at the image.

Izark shudders again, making a face, then continues, "We turned them in as bandits and the community went into a frenzy. Several of his men were willing to testify against him and that made him ineligible to become the next king in the eyes of the former king and half the cabinet. The other half, that supported him, decided that since their chosen candidate wasn't available, they'd kill the true heir, Lord Paroy, so he couldn't be instated as the king.

"Geena saw that there was going to be an assassination attempt on Lord Paroy, so we went immediately and told Lord Paroy. His men investigated and discovered the assassin among his guards. That revealed the link to Duke Kemil, Grand Duke Jeida's rival. Once he was arrested and the final clean--up done, the King turned the kingdom over to Paroy. King Paroy contacted us and asked us to bring Grand Duke Jeida back to the capital to be reinstated. They were old friends from some time ago."

My eyes light up. "They let us come to the reinstatement of Grand Duke Jeida. That was really awesome, and we got to wear really beautiful clothing. We still have those. They've got to be my second most favorite clothes after our wedding clothing. They make me feel so stately." I wiggle in delight at the memory and the men laugh at my child-like very womanish delight. I'm not often like that these days, unless I'm in the research lab ...which I guess I am more often than not lately.

"You should come with us then, Noriko," Doctor Clairgetta offers, "you could at least dress up a little more."

I grin. "Maybe, but we're in the middle of a sticky problem right now," I wink, "and I'd like to get that resolved first." They are tolerant of the fact I get lost in my research. Izark had to come tempt me with blue to get me to come to dinner on time tonight. I've found two chemists here at the university and am super excited. It was always my favorite subject in school. I let these two handle politics while I play in the laboratory.

Izark takes back up the story. "While we were escorting the Grand Duke to his reinstatement, Gaya, Zena, and the girls went back to Selena, Guzena. They'd heard things were getting difficult there. The rest of us joined them there. The chimos came in handy again.

"The cabinet had locked the king up in the top of a tower of isolation until he was willing to hand over the kingdom to his infant son. The cabinet figured they'd be the ruling body and control the child his whole life." Doctor Clairgeeta shakes his head at the evil thoughts of prideful men who love power. I nod in agreement as I sip my juice.

Izark continues, "Zena saw a solution that would lead to peace again. We spent some time sending word to the good men who'd been on the council but had been pushed out of power. We gathered them up in secret into the capital city, then the night before the council was going to make the king say to the people what he would say, I used the chimos to take Zena up into the tower.

"The king was surprised to see her, but very relieved. He apologized for sending her away and being blinded by beauty with no substance. She told him to tell the council he would turn the kingdom over to his son, then, when he arrived at the stand, he was to fire the entire council en mass. He was afraid the people would revolt." Doctor Clairgeeta nods, understanding that, and I shake my head, smiling.

"He did as she told him, though. As soon as the fired council had been escorted away, the men we'd gathered up entered the council chamber and filled the seats. The king was so surprised he stood there with his mouth open, then cried." Izark rolls his eyes just a little. "I felt like I was looking at Noriko and wondered if she'd end up somewhere like that some day."

I stick out my tongue at him. "Not in government," I say with some heat. He gives me a fond look. "Anyway, he's doing better at really listening to good men and letting Zena keep him in check. Zena's girls babysit the king's son all the time," I add, "and Gaya, too, watches over him. They want to make sure for at least a few years he gets a firm foundation in the light and a stronger backbone than his father." Doctor Clairgeeta nods at the wisdom of that.

Izark concludes, "Once things were settled in Guzena, Zena and Grand Duke Jeida worked with the cabinets and kings of both countries to form an alliance, so all of our friends are finally in countries of peace. Having those two examples, plus Donya that had the first changes, the rest of the Western Continent's good people finally were able to step up and find solutions. When we left, they were, for the most part, nearly settled."

Doctor Clairgeeta takes a sip of his wine, considering, then turns to me, "Noriko, thank you for bringing me a copy of your journal for my personal library on the world of light. It occurred to me to wonder whatever happened to Tazasheena. Do you know?"

I shake my head. "I thought of it, too. Rottenina and Anita told me that Zena said her power to see was based wholly in darkness and evil. When we destroyed the source of evil, her powers began to wane, and as the light has increased in the world, the more her power decreases. She's wandering the world now having to learn to become what she can become in the light. 

"I hope she's learning strength. I believe she really did love Rachef, so I believe she wasn't all evil inside and there's some hope for her still in this life. I don't expect to ever see her again, though. She was so broken that we will only remind her of things that will hold her back. I hope she can go where she can heal and become happy, as much as possible." Izark rubs my hand with his thumb.

"It's interesting to me how the light will influence people, constantly trying to reach them. Even Tazasheena, who was the first to want to see me dead, was the one who gave me my freedom and helped us overcome the evil in the end." Doctor Clairgeeta nods. We've already discussed how even in the end the world of light was reaching for Rachef, giving him one last chance when he had me to try to understand, and then with Izark showing it to him at the moment most people would think all was lost.

The world of light is always reaching for its children, calling them to be better, to bring more strength to themselves and all those around them, even after death. Irktule's influence on the spirits we helped free from the demon and the monster and their darkness is helping them walk back to the light again, too. It's not hard to forgive Tazasheena now.

"And what about your family?" Doctor Clairgeeta asks. "Were you able to get your journals to them?"

I nod. "They're doing well. We sent the bulk of them after leaving Ennemarna. They were happy to get them, and that helped me not to be so sad, too. Before we left to come here, we stopped by the sea of trees again and sent another small update. My brother, David, had left me a letter there and Izark managed to get it to come back.

"That was a treasure. He said Dad published the book and many are reading it. He says that the kind responses they receive from the readers helps them feel like I'm still with them. They're all working to become closer to the world of light, and he had encouraging things to say about the world there in general as well.

"He wondered if my world could become closer to the world of light like this one was, if someday they would be close enough for us to travel back and see them again." I shrug. "I know it doesn't work quite like that, but I also know that once we are all in the world of light again I'll see them again. That's enough for now.

"I think he just wants to see what Izark looks like," I grin, "...and maybe he wants to teach him how to throw a ball right so he knows I'm being taken care of the way he would do it," I tease Izark.

"I thought I was?" he asks archly.

I lean over and kiss him. "Of course you are."

Izark and I are on a ship, headed back from the Eastern Continent to the Western. I've left my businesses and the research wing at the university in the hands of people I've trained up to understand good research methods and who have good hearts. They'll move the progress of the Eastern Continent in good directions from this time.

I've told them to take my part of the profits and put them back into running the labs. I've got enough coming from the businesses on the Western Continent to keep us going. As far as the research goes, we've had a lot of failures, a good number of useful products, and a few surprising ones that wouldn't ever happen on Earth because of the differences here that let the seers see and the demons exist.

The doctor in Calco died a year ago. I'd sent one of my researchers to him for training so we didn't lose his knowledge. That researcher should be meeting me in my business offices when we arrive. He's bringing the equipment that I'd given to the doctor to continue his own research, and we'll add his notes to ours. The immunization of the children of the cities is going well and we've begun taking them out to the outlying towns and villages.

Izark and I went to say goodbye (for now) to the doctor through the world of light. As the spirit is just leaving the body of the dying, we can visit with them, then they have to go on ...into the world of light where there is peace, joy, and continual growing. It was sad for me, because it always is for those who are still living in the world. It means we won't see them physically again, but someday, I'll also walk into the world of light and be with them again.

My grandfather's death taught us that. That was very difficult for us. He died three years after we arrived on the Eastern Content. It was good we were there with Doctor Clairgeeta. It took both of them, him and Izark, to keep me here in this world I was so consumed by grief that Grandpa was dying.

Being able to talk to him when his spirit first entered the world of light, to feel his soft gentle love one more time, and tell him how much I was grateful for him brought me so much peace. I was still sad for a while after that, but the grief was gone. Izark was so relieved, and really, so was I.

We're headed back because Zena is dying and she's told us before she tells Gaya. She wants us to be there when she tells Gaya so that Gaya isn't so sad and so we can support her. Grand Duke Jeida has also passed on into the world of light and Glocia says Niana is close as well. She's apparently talking about our time in the village and all the rumors she enjoyed believing about us.

We've promised we'll stop by and visit with her. She'll recognize Izark, but I've changed enough she probably won't recognize me. I'm not the skinny young thing I used to be. Izark and I are living with that peaceably, though. It's enough we have each other for as long as we will.

We've talked about it and we've decided that we'll bring Gaya back with us to the main city my business is in. We've got enough to have a few servants, including one to take care of Gaya if she needs it as she gets older, and the house is big enough, since we entertain when we're on the Western Continent. It really is the responsibility of the children to take care of their parent, after all, and all this time she's been "mom" to us.

She won't be alone anyway, if we do have to travel for a while still, since Agol and Barago are there as well, helping take care of the business and house when we're on the Eastern Continent, although Barago is complaining he's ready to retire. Agol is enjoying his grandchildren and his son-in-law runs most of the things Agol used to. We'll likely be looking to bring others in the business up to higher levels of responsibility early in our activities when we get back. It feels funny to be old enough to be passing things on to the next generation.

My mom came to visit me the night she passed away. It was a sudden heart attack, but she told me that she was absolutely determined that her life path wasn't done until she came and we visited. She'd woken me up from a dead sleep at about two in the morning. We talked in the world of light until dawn and Izark walked into the world of light to see what I was doing.

Mom was ecstatic to meet him finally and was extremely pleased at how handsome he was. He had to show her his blue hair and eyes before she would go. I was glad for the visit. It made knowing she was gone from Earth easier for me. Before Izark and I returned, we visited Dad and David and comforted them, letting them know we knew, too, and that Mom was happy.

Dad's been coming to visit more recently. He finally admitted to me it was because his own life is at its end and he spends more time with his spirit wandering away from his body than in it. David's doing his best to hold up and his wife and kids really help a lot. Izark's keeping an eye on them for me so we can go be with them when Dad does finally pass into the world of light. We'll say our goodbyes to him, then go be with David. 

David's learned to tell when I'm looking at him and he now will talk to me, like he's talking to the air. I can't use words back, really, but he gets the emotions. We've been able to have some good visits, particularly recently as Dad is failing and David sits next to him in the hospital.

He's told me he's keeping the house, and he's going to make sure at least one of his kids does too, until Izark sends word that I'm gone. He's told them that only after that they can sell it. Just in case I get to come back, I guess, he's thinking. I've tried to tell him it doesn't matter. He could move and I'd still come to where he is, but that's too complicated to get across without words.

I'd like to stop by the sea of trees within the year to get a letter and some notebooks back to him. I think it will help him not feel so alone, what with being the only one of us left on Earth. We also have two bags of gold to pick up from our cave.

I grin to myself at that thought. We never did make it back to the cave, since we stayed so long on the Eastern Content. Well, we traveled between the continents a lot, but getting to that remote location just never fit into the itinerary. Besides, our most important treasures are always with us: each other.

Izark's been introspective and quiet a lot since we've been losing good friends and family. It's made his own reality a little more hard to bear, I think, and he's trying to come to peace within himself. The last time we were on the Western Continent my personal research was biology. His and mine.

He's human, but the thing in his blood that makes his cells change when the adrenaline enters them has nearly defied my ability to describe it. It's what makes him physically attached to the world of light and increases the regeneration of his cells, keeping them young all the time.

I can't make a serum of it -- it evaporates almost as soon as I expose it to air. The only way I could see it at all was to keep it suspended in glycerin. In appearance our ages are so different now that when we're with people who don't understand, he's my bodyguard -- a new lie for us so we don't have to tell the truth. It makes us both sad, that part.

We've nearly given up on trying to have children. That will be my next research there, but I think I won't learn much more than we already know. It would be more for my curious scientific mind than for real answers, I think. If I could get a hold of another demon, I'd do a lot of research on it to see just how related Izark is to them.

I have enough understudies that most of them have adopted us as their parents anyway. We're never alone at meal times, unless we tell them we want to be because we need our "alone time". It's nice to have family, even if it's adopted. The ones on the Eastern Continent are jealous that they won't see us for a long time..., if ever again. I'm slowing down, honestly, and ready to really settle in one location.

Taking care of Gaya will probably make that a greater likelihood. She's still got a good fifteen years in her. Zena's passing because of a wasting disease. I think it's likely diabetes, but there's no cure for that here, nor a substitute for insulin yet, although insulin is in my notes for later generations of researchers to pick up and try to figure out.

Arms curl around me. It's Izark and he's coming looking for me. He gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Noriko, ...It's Doctor Clairgeeta. It's time." I go still for a moment, then sigh softly and nod. I was expecting it ...that's why my thoughts were full of old friends and loved ones.

While he holds me here on the deck of the ship, looking out at the passing sea, we sink together into the world of light, then turn to face the east. In only the brief moment thought takes, we are standing next to Doctor Clairgeeta. He's in his bed in his manor home, his companions gathered around him.

It's just crowded enough we stand in the air with the other spirits who know it's his time and have come to welcome him into the world of light. I give Duke Jeida a quick world of light hug and he and Izark greet each other calmly. The two great statesmen communicated frequently by letter and respected each other highly. I'm not surprised the Duke came.

As we watch, Doctor Clairgeeta's spirit slips out of his body and he looks around. He sees us first, but he was expecting to. We'd told him we'd come before we left the city. "It's different to be here as a spirit," is the first thing he tells us.

I smile at him. "I'm sure it is. You don't have your anchor any more." I can't help the tears dripping down my face, although this is a happy time for the spirits and the world of light, as any graduation of a student would be. It feels, from my end, like I'm the mom watching my son get married off to never come home to stay again, even though he's been my father on this world.

He laughs at me, since in this place those emotions and thoughts are known. Then he throws his arms around me as if he is the son, surprising me. "No, really, Noriko, you have been more like my mom. I've often felt like the younger one, you know so much about the world of light and people and are so calm. You taught me more about the world of light, that I had so wanted to know, than I ever learned before you came."

"No way. We would never have even found it if not for you."

He shakes his head, "But after that, you studied it so hard, in a way I never could. Thank you." He looks at Izark. "And thank you, too. We'll be here for you when things get lonely."

Izark smiles a small smile. "If I come too much, I'll never go back."

There is a feeling in the air and I pick up on it because it's what makes me tick. "I'll research it for sure." I say with firm conviction, giving him the hope he needs. He holds me tightly then we say our goodbyes and Doctor Clairgeeta is welcomed by the other spirits whom he knows.

Izark and I return to be on the ship, staying in the world of light, just the two of us for a moment. I check quickly on Dad, but he's sleeping. David's having a quiet dinner with his family. I nod to Izark and we rise back up to our bodies on the ship again. I turn and hold him in my arms, wanting to protect him even now. "I might not be able to research it until I'm on that side," I say to Izark, "but I definitely will."

He brushes my hair back from my face. "Not yet," he says.

I shake my head. "No. Not yet. I've got a lot more years left in me. I'm still yours." I reach up and kiss him, giving him my hope and peace, filling the worry in his heart.

"Thanks," he says softly in my ear. "You're still beautiful, you know." He likes to make sure he tells me that a lot. The older humans get, the less beautiful they are, after all.

"Thanks." He's told me that I actually am still beautiful, because the world of light shines from my face still, even with the physical changes. I'm glad that specific beauty can still come through. The more people can see the world of light here the better, even if it's just in my face or eyes.

We stand together, feeling the warmth, peace, and comfort we share until the bell rings for dinner in the ship's dining hall. Life continues, whether here or in the world of light. There is great peace and comfort in that knowledge.

Chapter Text

The wedding feast was a blur. I finally had to find Noriko and rescue us from it. She loved her ring, a tradition from her world, and a thing to have close by her when I have to travel and she stays home to study.

I was honored she'd thought hard enough to give me something that I couldn't destroy, although I hope to never transform again in such painful ways. The belt is embossed with birds with small blue stones for eyes. I think she would rather have given me one with dragons but she said she had to take the closest thing she could find this time. I like to wear it with the blue jacket and bandanna she made for me. Then I can proudly feel like we're husband and wife as I walk about.

As we walked from the top of the city wall back to our room, we talked about what we would do now that the wedding was done. Because she'd asked if we could fetch our things from the flower town and then send her writings to her family, I suggested we could rent one of the flying creatures of our world that carry people. That excited her. I thought it might, now that she doesn't fear heights. That was a better option than having me carry her the whole way.

Using those creatures also means we can do the few things we wanted to do faster. We'll need to meet back up with our friends to help them however we can. I've sent most of my gold on with Barago and Agol, who are going by wagon with Gaya and Zena to help them get started in Guzena with the ministers there. Duke Jeida and his family are going to Zago. We'll scry before we go to either to see which one we need to go to first, once our tasks are done.

When Noriko talked about what she wants to do after that, I wasn't at all surprised to hear she wants to teach her world's knowledge to this one. I was surprised that she admitted she doesn't have the knowledge for most of what she'll teach. What she wants to teach are the basic thoughts and ideas. She'll let the researchers of this world figure out how or even if they'll make them work in this one.

While we've been gifted with each other, and the double rainbow promise, and I suppose the additional bonding, I still have some slight concern I'll lose her. As she was collecting her gift from the dresser in our room, I almost lost her again to her sorrow.

I'd asked her how she'd learned to throw -- we'd been talking about Calco and I'd remembered I'd wanted to know. She told me she and her brother had thrown a ball together every week as their time to just be siblings together. Because she'd remembered him, like the time I'd asked about her mother, she began to disappear.

I had her in my arms quickly and held her tightly, begging her not to leave me. She was confused and I told her this time. She's promised not to miss them so much. She said sending her records to her family will help. Then they won't miss her so much either. There's the possibility that because they miss her, when she misses them she's pulled back to them. I will hope so.

She's carefully standing far back from the golden moss, not wanting to be sent with the books and my letter to her family. Before we could send the books, she had to catch them up to the time she had paper and pen again. Then she had me write them in this world's language as she read and translated her work. All of that took longer than I'd planned, but if this works it's well worth it.

Carefully intending only the books to go, I instruct the chimo to send them from ‘here' to ‘there', the ‘there' Noriko's holding open for me in the World of Light. I can send them because I exist in the World of Light and have access to its infinite power and energy so that they'll go. And go they do. We see them arrive on the desk in her room. It's an odd world compared to mine, indeed.

I make sure I end the movement request through those kinds of distances before I leave the gold moss to return to Noriko. I hold her tightly to reassure us both she's still here, then we move off to rejoin our flying transportation. It's time to return to the work of bringing peace to my world.

I was also right in one other thing. She had sold to and written up a contract with someone whom she's going to use to create her other world creations to sell. She came out of Calco with her own earned gold. I'm very proud of her, actually, that even from the beginning she was thinking of how to take care of herself.

She admitted she'd told me early, while we were still in the cave and couldn't understand each other, that if I would only get her to a village she would be fine with being left. She wouldn't have been once we were there, and neither would I, but that's because of the connection the World of Light gave us. Without that, she would have been fine without me eventually, as long as she had some sort of bodyguard along. I'm just as happy to be that bodyguard, however.

"Izark, it's okay. I'm feeling better now that I know they'll be able to know I'm alive. We can go check on them in a day or two and then I'll know they're happy for us. Even if they're sad they can't see me, that will be enough for all of us, I think. I won't leave." Noriko is earnest, and I realize I'm holding her hand a little too tightly.

I try to relax, then lean down and rest my forehead on her head. I can't quite get rid of the worry, but since we can at least see if having them know she's okay helps them, I can sigh and set it aside for now. I kiss her and request, "Please don't. I might be able to live without you, but it would be a very lonely life ...quiet ...but lonely."

Noriko gives a snort. "Yeah, mine would be too. Quiet and lonely." She puts her arms around my neck and kisses me. "And I'd miss you something awful," she says quietly. "I really couldn't survive there anymore, I think ...not unless you came with me."

I hold my most precious treasure tightly to me and for a moment the emotions of the two dragons who claim each other as treasures swirl around us, taking our breath away.

I have the winged dinosaur stop at the top of the mountain in the little pass where we exited the cave system under the mountain so we can finish what that started. We decide to name that cave our dragon cave -- our secret no one will ever find.

When the reinstatement of the western continent governments was completed satisfactorily, we took Agol, Geena, and Barago with us to the city of the university on that side of the middle sea. After about a week of hunting, Noriko and I settled on a home we could agree on. It was larger than either of us would have purchased, but Agol kept us practical. He knows us by now.

It's large enough for guests to stay with us, and to host large parties. That's more room than I think we need, but I had to admit that if Noriko is able to meet her goals it may end up too small, and I'd rather just have the one house to come home to.

I blush every time I think of it like that, not having a place to call my own for so long. Noriko is my home so I'm coming around to thinking in terms of settling down, like Kizak teased me I'd have to learn eventually.

Once we had our home purchased and furnished minimally enough Barago and Agol could live their sufficiently, Noriko turned to meeting the people at the university and getting to know those who might be able to help her. They still need to rebuild some, but she got a few things started before we came to the eastern continent.

While I work with Doctor Clairgeeta and others to get the countries on this side of the middle sea stable, she's only to be found in the Department of Chemistry unless I pry her out. It makes me smile, but I insist. I also need my Noriko time, and she wouldn't be happy to learn she had missed all of her time with Doctor Clairgeeta.

They spend many happy hours discussing the theories of the World of Light. Doctor Clairgeeta in particular loves to ask her detailed research questions and have her answer them, already at his level of understanding although he has the years of experience to answer her own questions.

I don't mind those conversations. Because I walk there, I get pulled into them as well, asking my own questions and answering for the slight details that are different for me than for them.

It's nice to have the quiet environment of the university and Dr. Clairgeeta's home to call our home here. He's been very welcoming, and his staff say we aren't a bother, calming Noriko's worries.

She's not used to servants. The ones here are training her nicely for when we return home. I don't think she'll ever think of Agol, Geena, and Barago as anything other than friends, but perhaps she'll be more open to ordering them around (asking politely for things since that's her way).

I've returned to the east continent for a brief visit. The governments have changed hands, in some countries multiple times, but all of them are doing well enough. Men are still good and bad, but most are still trying their best. It's the best we can hope for, I suppose.

Noriko asked me to check on the Department of Chemistry, to bring her word of if they're still thriving. They are. Her push and her small efforts, and the efforts of her students and their students, have created an environment where the love of research and learning is passed on from student to student, who becomes the next teacher to pass it on. She'll be pleased with my report, I think.

The university as a whole has expanded and remembers her with a memorial. I won't tell her that, unless I need to see her blush. She'll be terribly embarrassed to be praised so highly, even now that she's old enough to know that others like to remember those who've made a great difference to the world. She still doesn't see herself in that sort of role, for all she's been in it since she arrived here in the Sea of Trees, and tried to place herself there on our wedding day.

I long for those days. How I miss them, and all of our friends. It's been terribly difficult for me to see their passing away as the years have passed. They're all gone now. Even her brother has passed on. She's lived a very long and fulfilling life, and she's content. I've grown very discontent, but not with her. She still holds my heart tenderly. I'm discontent with me, and perhaps some with the World of Light.

When I return from this trip back to our home on the west continent, it will be to not leave it again for some time, if ever. She's dying and I won't leave her side after this. It grieves me so, to know that I can't die and go with her. Like I was so afraid to lose her after I turned into the full Sky Demon the first time, or the nearly-full since there was another level I was saved from ever having to experience, I'm again afraid to lose her and her comfort.

Will I stay the creature of Light I've become? Likely I will, so I sigh at myself when that fear rises. I've been that for so many years now it's not likely to change. It's just the old fear coming to tease me.

I know I can still go see them all, and sometimes I'll visit with Doctor Clairgeeta and Duke Jeida, or Barago will come just to tease me because he can. But, I can't walk there constantly. I've tried, experimenting with it as Noriko fails.

The World of Light itself gently expels me with compassion and gentleness, but firm that I have work to be doing and running from my fears and grief does not get me a pass into the world of those who've worked hard properly. I also must live out what life I've been given.

At times that will make me angry, and then I'll rant and plead with the World of Light, like I did on several occasions before, and Noriko did. We were answered those times, and I would ask if we could be answered this time as well. ...I know that Noriko always wanted to go home one more time to see her family. She missed them so and still does.

I've finally humbly asked that if it's at all possible, that she be allowed that opportunity and that I be allowed to go with her to live a life where I may die with her, happy and content because she was finally properly rewarded for the terrible pain of being torn away from the life she knew.

The World of Light may have warned her it was going to happen, and remembering her stories of her dreams may have brought comfort to her family after she was gone, but the World of Light still never asked, never gave her the choice. If she could receive that payment, and I could go with her, I would be supremely grateful.

When I sorrow, I don't hold much hope for it. We're often not asked what we want. We're born into a family of nobles and thus must be a noble. The life of our parents is taken and we must learn to walk forward an orphan. Life isn't really like my wish. Plus, I don't know if we can walk through time in that way. It may be an impossibility, "science fiction" as Noriko would say. The sort of thing her father would have written about.

There's also the fact that they are all already in the World of Light. She'll be able to greet them and get her hugs when she does finally pass from this life. There's likely no real reason to send her back in time when what she wants will be waiting for her to receive immediately. Such things are logical and rational...and bring tears to my eyes. None of them comfort me. I would rather have the unreasonable request answered.

My eyes continually scan the sky for rainbows. So far I've seen none, at least in answer to my pleas. I'm trying to be humble, and I'm trying to come to terms with it, as I have been for the last ten years as Noriko has slowed down, then been unable to do more than rise from her bed to sit and chat pleasantly with guests who come to visit, or to keep me company.

She also grieves that she'll leave me behind with no family nor close friends by my side. She did what she could; the world has given us what we have. To have had her is greater than I could have hoped for. I will miss her just as greatly.

I've put the final few writings Noriko wanted to add with her journal that's here in Dr. Clarigeeta's collection. I'll leave this journal here with the other works of the time we were the central figures of.

If it's never read, that's fine with me. It was mostly my meanderings, a place to put my worries outside myself, and a way to remember those things that became most important to me and my walk into the light so that I could ponder on them again and again as I tried to convince myself that to step onto the path of hope and walk hand in hand with Noriko was more than a dream or vain hope. It was terribly difficult to unlearn my fear and despair learned in the early years.

I'm grateful for the final result, and for my Noriko who taught me how to reach it and then has stayed with me so long. I'll continue to hope for myself after she goes. I'll likely stay as long with her in the World of Light as it allows me to, until she has encouraged me enough to have the strength to return to my duties properly.

The seers still only see bright light when they look for me. It's dull, really, and sometimes frustrating, to not get to know things others can know if they ask. It is terribly difficult to live a predestined life and not know the ending.

I'll close these writings by saying, "Farewell." I will hope to never come back again. It's highly likely that if she dies and I remain on this planet, I won't return regardless. This place she loved so much will be too difficult for me to see her shadow in, and I never was a student or researcher, save for what I needed to know to walk the path I've already walked.

Chapter Text

I am very weak. I can feel it. I raise my hand. The thinness of the skin, the lack of fat under it, the darkly raised veins and skin spots on it all speak to my age. Izark and I have lived together, husband and wife, long enough for me to grow old and get to today.

I reach for Izark, sad. He leans down and kisses my palm. I run my fingers along his cheek and into his long black hair. His eyes fight to not cry. He hasn't aged a day since I opened the world of light for him. He became fully ‘demon', fully angel, in that moment. Completely connected to the world of light and its constant life. I never changed from the simple human, other than to become a fully grown woman instead of a high school senior.

I'm even more sad because we were never able to have children. I'm not able to leave him with even one for companionship when I'm gone. All of our friends passed away before us. The world, the universe, has been kind to let me last this long for him, even though the last ten years have been very hard as my capacity to move no more than a hobble around the house has kept us from traveling together.

He always comes back as soon as his task is done. He could feel it -- that I was beginning to slip from this world -- and hasn't left my side for the last month. It's bittersweet. I want to be young again for him. To love him with the vigor of youth one last time so he has something to remember me by and make him smile. I can feel his heart breaking, since he's been home. He can't hide it. It's part of the connection we share in the world of light itself.

"I love you, Izark," I whisper. It's all the voice I have.

"I love you, Noriko." I let the sounds linger in my ears as I let my strength leave me. It's the last thing I want to hear. His sapphire eyes are the last thing I see, his gift to me since he knows I love them.

I finally let myself think the only thing I've not let myself think since we were young. I wish I could have seen my family one more time. I slip out, into the world of light. It's as full of peace and the presence of everyone in the universes, the same as the other times I've been here. 

I'm spinning slightly. Feeling cocooned, warm, as if arms are wrapped around me, and wings. I - we - are moving through the universes, slipping past the boundaries, my last thoughts drawing me towards one particular one.

My heart constricts as I think of my mother, wishing I could see her as I saw her when I left, have her hug me one more time. Wishing I could see my father and hear his laugh, see his eyes light up as he talks about his latest chapter of his latest science fiction book. Wishing I could argue with my brother one more time, then go out and toss the ball again. Wishing I could sit next to my Grandpa, a book in hand, keeping him silent company as he tends to his garden. ...I've already lived longer than my older brother.

I slip into a peaceful darkness, like sleep, with a sigh, still feeling warmth around me. I don't know what death is really like. I just know what others have experienced from watching them. The souls from the Morning Mist woods, still there in the woods, trying to regain salvation so they can move on. It's been slow, but most have by now. The feeling of life when I'm in the world of light. The fact that I've seen everyone pass into the world of light briefly, then disappear. That's all I really know about it.

And, ...that Izark won't have to experience it for himself -- a thing blind humans seem to always grasp for, but that immortals understand. Immortality in a mortal world sucks. I'm sad I've had to leave Izark in such a situation, but I'm not God. I have to live my simple life, and then it's over. I wonder where my family and friends are, that are supposed to be greeting me?

A breath. Another one. My breath. Why am I breathing? I open my eyes and look into the most gorgeous male face I've ever seen. I know behind the closed eyes are green-brown eyes, that sometimes turn blue -- a breathtaking blue I can't get enough of. The long black bangs are sticking out over his ever-present bandanna, and his long hair is draped over his neck and shoulder the fetching way I can't stop looking at -- or wanting to touch. Why?

I lift my hand to touch him and it's heavy, clothed in flesh. I freeze, staring at it. Young flesh. I turn the hand over, back and forth, staring at it. I feel like I'm back at the beginning. Seeing things that my mind can't reconcile. I take a deep breath. The only way to combat that feeling is to keep moving forward.

Is Izark alive? I touch his cheek. He's warm. I touch his neck. He has a heartbeat. I relax in relief, then rapidly feel for my own. I have a heartbeat. Why?

Our connection, so constant for so many years, is very faint, mostly just the initial early connection of knowing he is here and where. The constant deep emotional bond is gone. Carefully, I slip out from his light hold on me, sitting up to look around. 

It's my old bedroom. I stare around in shock. It's been left the way I had it, but cleaner. I can see my mother's hand, her touch on the room. The desk next to my bed is clean, except for... the notebooks we sent back that had my story in it. That was a very long time ago. I couldn't go back after the last letter to David. How far it was to the Sea of Trees, how old I was getting....

It just made me too sad to recognize the passage of time that way. All children grow up and leave their parents to live with a spouse. Some even go to the other side of the world and never get to see their parents again, only getting to call on the phone.

Only, I never got to call, except to send those notebooks, and watch them from far away. I went universes away. That's why I wanted to come back even once. My heart clenches again, and I instinctively put my hand on Izark, my one source of constant warmth and comfort since then.

Next to the notebooks is a bound print book. I slip off the bed and pick it up. It's my story. Dad had it published and titled the way I asked. From Far Away. Good ol' Dad. I smile and flip through the pages, but put it down soon. I lived it once already.

I look up at the window. The smile slips from my face as I wonder if my brother's children are still living here. Would they have really kept my room just the same, after so many years and into new generations that didn't know me? When have we come to? In the science fiction books when was just as flexible as where. I'm young again, but I don't know what that means. 

I step to the window and part the curtain just a little. The scene is similar to when I left. No flying cars, no buildings of new or futuristic design. Still electric poles and wires, cars like I've seen before; although, I never followed model and make to know how to date the ones I can see. I'm having to dredge up old memories, but they fall into place quickly as if my brain is as young as my body looks. That was hard, to lose my brain to old age.

Izark shifts and I go back to the bed and sit next to him. I run my hand down his face, touching to make sure we're both real. I had to do that a lot early on, too, although he didn't like it when I touched him. He told me later he was uncomfortable with it generally, but specifically he was afraid the more I touched him, the more he would turn into the demon. I was his kryptonite, was his fear.

I guess in a way I was, but it wasn't from just being human ...or I guess it was, but ...well whatever. I smile into his eyes as they blearily blink open. "Good morning, Izark."

He looks up at me, begins to smile, then suddenly sits up and stares at me, his hands back behind him, supporting him. "N-Noriko?!"

I nod, keeping to a gentle smile. I know how hard it is to see a thing your brain says isn't possible. "I don't know how, or why either, Izark," I try to answer the questions surely running through his brain, "but we're in my world. This is my room, but I don't know when we are."

Izark looks around the room briefly, but really his eyes want to see me, the young Noriko. He reaches out a tentative hand to touch. I don't move, just let him understand with his hands what his brain and fiercely needy eyes are arguing about. Then suddenly we're mouth to mouth and he's kissing me, a kiss of fierce I've-missed-you-so-much passion.

I put my hands on either side of his head and gently push him away, but then take him in an embrace and hold him. His tears are always silent, but I can feel them wet my shoulder and my neck as he turns to hide and hold me, like he would before we found the world of light and he was afraid. I wait patiently. I remember how patient he was for me, especially the first few days, when I sobbed more times than ever in my life for the overwhelming emotions.

"Noriko, did you think of this place when you were... leaving?" I don't blame him for not wanting to say the word "dying".

"Yes."

Izark nods and sits up. "I thought so. I watched you start to disappear. When only your spirit should have slipped into the world of light, your body disappeared, so I followed you." He looks down. He's embarrassed now that he followed me and I get to know it.

I lift his hand to my lips. "Sheshe, Izark. I was also wishing I could be young again, just once, just for you."

He takes his hand back, cups my head. and pulls me in for another kiss. "Sheshe, Noriko," he says huskily, the tears in the back of his throat again.

Suddenly, there is thudding outside my door and it slams open. Caught in a tender, but publicly embarrassing moment, I turn to see who it is and my eyes widen. "David!" He's still young. Maybe a little older than when I left, but young. Izark turns to look as well.

"Noriko!?" David yells. I nod with a smile. He looks at Izark and calms down just a little. "Izark?" Izark nods and gives one of his shy smiles that almost doesn't reach his mouth, but is easy to see in his eyes. Then as suddenly as he appeared, my older brother is gone, thudding down the stairs and yelling, "Mom! Dad! Gram'pa! [It's Noriko! Noriko's back!]" His voice gets fainter the farther he goes.

I grin at Izark. David's always been like that. "Our ‘when' seems to be not too much longer after I left, but I'll have to ask to be sure."

"He's calling for your parents?"

"Yes, and my Grandfather." Izark moves to get up. I watch his graceful movement, glad for another opportunity to. He holds out his hand for me. I take it and stand up next to him. We're waiting, side by side, arms around each other, by the time the family arrives, running as fast as they can up the stairs again, Grandpa coming slower and David with him to help him.

Mom stops suddenly, puts her hands to her mouth, and tears start to drip. Dad puts his hand on her shoulder. I can see it trembling until he grips her a little tighter. He's fighting tears, too. "[Mom, Dad, everyone. This is Izark kia Tarj, my husband.]" I introduce them to Izark with their proper names. Izark bows slightly to them, greeting them in his own tongue and I translate for him.

He shoves me lightly on the back, looking at my mother, and I'm off. I want a hug, too. That's why I came. Briefly, I'm afraid it will all disappear as soon as I get my hug, but when I finally release my mother and hug my father, and it doesn't, I relax slightly. Even if it all disappears after Izark and I can be together tonight, it will be okay.

Mom has walked over to greet Izark with a hug, and when I release Dad, he heads that way also. I'm caught up in David's arms and he's babbling, as normal, but in the end he's grinning at me. "[See? I said you'd get to bring him home with you!]"

I stare blankly at him. "[Did you get the message back, the last time?]" he asks.

I suddenly remember. "[Oh, I forgot, I'm sorry. You did say that, didn't you. Did you have a dream of it?]" I ask curious.

He nods. "[I did, actually. He looks just like he looked in my dream, too.]"

I grin. "[In that world you would be a seer then.]"

His eyes fly open wide, then he chuckles. "[Yeah, I guess so, but then you dreamed of going.]"

"[True...,]" I wonder. Then I'm hugging Grandpa gently. "[I've missed you, Grandpa. There were a number of kind men who reminded me of you there.]"

"[I'm glad you're back, Noriko,]" he says in his quiet voice. I've missed hearing it, although he never said much before either, and I tear up, remembering my grief at his passing the first time.

"[Me, too.]" I say.

"Noriko," Izark calls me and I return to him. He has ...my dictionary? ...in his hand, open to the first page. I look at him curiously. He reaches for me and pulls me to his side again. Haltingly, in the cute accent I only got to hear a few times early on, he says, "[Thank you. For Noriko, thank you.]"

My mom's in tears again. Dad very seriously answers, "[You're welcome.]"

Izark looks at me and we share a smile. "[He knows that one,]" I say to them. "[Their word for that is the most difficult one for our tongues to say. It took me forever to not mangle it and I still couldn't say it right in the end.]"

I can see Dad has lots of questions. Mom can see it too. "[Let's go down and get something to snack on while we talk, shall we?]" Mom says. Dad agrees, and everyone troops out of the room.

I hold Izark back just a bit. "Why do you have the translation book?"

He blushes and looks away. "...I ...was thinking something like this ...might happen."

My hands go to my hips. "Izark!" I scold. He looks at me, then grins and grabs me for one more kiss before dragging me after the family, an arm around my waist. He's always such a tease when he's happy. I wonder how much pleading, arguing, and demanding he had to do to the world of light to get this blessing, remembering how I'd gotten my double-rainbow promise just before our wedding.

We get to the living room and they're waiting for us. Dad is dancing on his toes nervously. I would be nervous too, wondering if we'd come and gone already. They've saved us the love seat and look like they're all planning to crowd on the couch even though there are three other chairs in the room. I feel like we're entering the courtroom, but Izark is relaxed -- mostly. He still has some of the nervousness of meeting the parents of the bride for the first time, but only I can tell.

As soon as we sit down, Dad plops himself on the couch and leans forward on his elbows. I hold up a hand. "[Dad, wait for Mom, and let me tell it or you'll have the whole thing confused, or at least everyone else confused. Then we can just sit, the three of us, and you can dig for details.]"

He looks at me, then sighs and sits back. "[Okay. You're right.]" He can't sit still, though.

"[Hand me your pen, please,]" I ask, saying it slowly enough Izark can start to get a feel for the sentence structure, etc. Dad pulls his ever present pen from behind his ear and hands it to me. Izark hands me the notebook. It's open to the first page, where I put the all important polite words, the numbers, and dating formula. That's the page I want.

At the top of it is the date I left this world. "[Dad, what day is it?]" He holds still for a heartbeat then tells me. I write it down, then do the math. I look at the calculations I did way back then, on the first day, then shake my head in amazement. The universe, the world of light, has been kind. Perhaps it has repaid me for my small efforts in Izark's world that built up over the years there.

I've arrived on the date that is equivalent to the age I was on Izark's planet when I arrived there. Today, on Earth, I am nineteen years, five months, and fourteen days old. The additional blessing is, I'm old enough to legally have a husband.

I sigh in relief. Izark raises an eyebrow, and I tell him. He stares at me, then laughs, one of his rare, rolling laughs. I listen to it for a while, enjoying it, then I go back to the math. It takes longer this time, since I didn't do the conversion last time. Then I tell him... he's not older than me any more. He's one year, four months, and five days younger.

He stares at me. That he doesn't find funny, but I didn't expect him to. I'm grinning though. He'd been so proud to be older that time -- too proud. Now it's my turn. He huffs, then puts his chin in his hand, resting on his knee. I explain the math to my family and David laughs. Dad likes the parallel and I can see him adding it to his mental file of details to use in his books.

"Noriko," Izark asks slowly. "Do you think I have gone back in age? I hadn't been thinking I had, since I chose to step through and come."

I look at him, "Izark, there are a lot of questions we'll have to explore, if we get to stay." He freezes briefly at the ‘if'. "We can't tell just by looking at you, so I don't know if we'll ever know the answer to that one. We've both already lived one mortal life span. You can chose your age here. That's just the equivalent to the time we've come back to. I'll do the calculations for how old we really are next. We'll need to explain that: why the story is so much longer now."

He looks at me a bit sharply. "You've said many things I don't understand. Do they understand our relationship?"

I nod. "That's how I introduced you, first thing: as my husband."

He sits up and takes my hand, relieved. He kisses my cheek, then accepts a cup of juice from my mother with another "[Thank you.]"

Just before he puts it to his lips he stops and looks at me, then doesn't drink it. I smile. "It's okay, here, Izark. We purify everything before we sell or buy it. The only things to worry about will be the foods that don't sit well with you. That is just a fruit juice, probably sweeter than you can drink, so just sip at it for now, if so.

"It's okay to take the foods slow. Mom won't be offended. Our society has advanced enough we all understand such things at that basic of a level." He raises an eyebrow at "basic", but nods and tastes the juice. 

I take my cup from Mom, thanking her, too. It's too sweet for me, now, too. "[Mom, would it be okay to get them watered down? It was a medieval society, so not much into the corn syrup stage. I'm sorry.]" I don't want her to be too embarrassed.

She kindly gets up and goes to retrieve two cups half--full of water. I pour half of my cup into each one, then trade Izark's cup out, putting half of his in my now empty one. "Here, this is a better level to start at. I really don't want to know what a demon high on sugar looks like." Not that he would. Alcohol never affected him.

He stops, then carefully puts his cup down on the table, turns to me and takes my hands in his. His expression is very carefully neutral, although his eyes are tender. "Noriko...." I wait. "...I paid a price to come here with you." He rubs his thumb on my hand. "I can't go back."

I nod slightly. I'm not surprised, but then I'm still not expecting to wake up alive tomorrow. We already knew if just I came I wouldn't make it back. "And..., I'm not a demon. I don't have any of the power or strength I had in my world. ...I will die in this world."

I look at him confused, "Are you sure? ...Your eyes are sapphire blue."

He looks at me in surprise, then nods soberly, "I don't know why they would be. I can't make it happen on purpose any more."

I can't prevent the tears from springing to my eyes, although I hold them back. I reach up a hand to touch his face gently. "I'm sorry, Izark, that you'll experience weakness and pain, that you won't have what you had before, and that you'll die a stranger in a strange world. ...But, ...since you are here, can I say it's for the better, that you don't have the powers?

"Such creatures as what you were are only folklore here. Life would have been very, very hard for you here, harder than it was there. Just like the governments wanted you there, they would have wanted you here, and here, you wouldn't have escaped. Humanity covers the entire face of the planet, save for the few saved wildernesses. Because humans are the worst of the predators, and we are so advanced in understanding...," I shake my head sadly.

"This world is both better, and worse, than your own. Doing our best, individually, is all any of us can do anywhere. You don't have to be great or powerful here. Here, you can just be my husband and do something you enjoy, while helping lift others in small ways. Can your heart be content with that?"

He pauses, "That depends on what you mean by ‘if'."

My Dad shifts uneasily. "[Ah, I'm sorry,]" I say. "[Izark's just told me he had to give up his powers to follow me back here, and we can't go back.]" The family sits in shock and then makes sympathetic noises, but look as relieved as I feel.

I turn back to Izark. I don't want to tell him, but he should know. I rub my fingers on his arm. "I don't understand why we're here at this time, but the thoughts that drew me back here were all singular. One more time with Izark as a young woman. One more hug from Mom. One more chance to see everyone. ...Until I wake up tomorrow morning, still in my bed, my Izark next to me, my mother to hug again at breakfast, ...I can't allow myself to believe it will happen. I'm sorry, Izark."

I grip his hands tighter. He looks like he wants to cry again, but is keeping it down. I know that, too. "Then I will believe it for both of us," he finally says, determinedly, "Will you believe it, for my sake?"

I smile at him, "I would like that Izark." I tuck his hand into my arm, pulling him close, letting him feel my warmth so he can keep the lid on the worry just enough. We don't have to have the world of light connection on the emotional level any more, we know each other so well; although, I will likely miss not being able to use telepathy. It's really hard to live a storybook life and not know the ending.

...And that's how I begin the rest of our story to my family.

Chapter Text

I've included here three short vignettes I found in my transcribing of Dr. Clairgeeta's research notes.

The first one, Courageous Hearts, is published here exactly as I found it written in his notes. I've often wondered, as I pondered on all of the records I've found, if it's actually Miss Letia's own words, because it's told from her point of view.

Even in Noriko's words, Dr. Clarigeeta already knew how to access and walk in the World of Light before they met him. Is it possible that he went into the World of Light and asked to speak with Miss Letia and she told him her story of meeting the young Sky Demon?

It's a touching story, regardless, and I think all the world is at the very least grateful that she was willing to turn the child Izark towards the light from an early age. She indeed was a star for him from which he could get his first glimpse of the hope of the light, and thus be prepared to meet the Awakening.

The second one, Izark's Song, seems to be a written musing in poetic form by Izark himself, and was a loose page in the notebook. I suspect that Dr. Clairgeeta discovered it somehow not long after Izark wrote it and requested if he could have it.

I like to imagine that Izark was completely embarrassed to have it discovered and read by anyone else, but because of his friendship with his kind host allowed him to have it, perhaps extracting a promise that it not be shared with anyone else. (I will apologize for doing so very publicly, if that was the case.)

I also like to think that Dr. Clairgeeta asked for it because he privately wanted to have at least one thing in his personal library from the Sky Dragon himself. It was likely one of his crowning triumphs to own, since he never personally saw Izark's journal. I know it would have been mine.

The final story, Sudden Partners, I believe was written by Dr. Clairgeeta in his notes after an evening of storytelling around the sitting room after dinner during the years they lived in the house with him. Likely Izark was feeling comfortable, perhaps even nostalgic, and his wife had pleaded for it. Dr. Clairgeeta would have added his own pleas, and perhaps in the face of both of them, Izark had chosen to tell this one as an entertainment for the evening.

Chapter Text

"Miss Letia, please, I really should stay," the servant was desperate.

Miss Letia was firm. "No, I really will be fine. I need to breathe. Go over the hill and wait. I promise, I won't leave the field, and will come." The servant shifted, then finally bowed and slowly, reluctantly, walked off and over the hill.

Miss Letia watched until he was gone, waited to make sure he wouldn't pop his head back over the hill, then sank to the ground. She closed her eyes, felt the wind, and smelled the perfume of the flowers in this field. It was her favorite place to come for solace.

She had lost the child three months before it was due to be born, and her husband's death had been one month later. She'd cried all she was going to cry, but she still found it very hard to breathe around her constricted heart. Having over-solicitous servants crowd her only exacerbated the sense of claustrophobia. Here in this field, she could breathe. That's all she wanted: air and space.

Running steps brought her back, made her open her eyes and turn her head. She was calm enough that she didn't go to frustration at her servant right away. She was glad she hadn't when she saw the small, black-haired child. She held still. He hadn't seen her yet. Sitting as she was, they were about the same height. She watched him, waiting.

The wind finally turned and his attention was caught. He turned suddenly to see her. She held still, keeping a mild expression on her face, looking at him as curiously as he was looking at her.

He looked left, then right, then all around. Not seeing anyone else, he cautiously crept up to her. She let him without making a sound. She felt a little like she was fishing -- a past-time her father had been guilty of enjoying.

"Are you a flower spirit?" he asked her with quiet urgency when he was close enough to speak quietly and be heard.

Miss Letia tipped her head and smiled. "Would that make you happy?" she asked. He frowned a little. "Are you a child of the field?" she asked back.

He raised an eyebrow at her, then looked around the field. "Well, no." He was very sensible, this one, for having asked her that question. "And I don't suppose it matters to me one way or the other if you're a flower spirit, it's just hard to tell sometimes."

"Oh..., I guess you can see them, then, the spirits?" she asked mildly, burning to know his age. He talked like he was a spirit: ageless even though his visage was young. He nodded soberly. "Well, if not a field spirit, then some other kind?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. ...Something else."

She reached out her hand and brushed the lock of hair hanging just to his shoulder, the straight black hair running through her fingers. "Night... of the night sky?" she asked. He stiffened. She smiled a sad smile. "It's okay. We can call me a fallen star, then. Have you come to keep me company, two of us fallen from the sky to walk the earth?"

He relaxed and looked at her puzzled. "It doesn't scare you?"

Miss Letia raised an eyebrow. "No. Not much scares me, least of all a child who has come running to this field to escape, the same as I have."

His eyes got round. "You're escaping, too?"

She nodded soberly. "I won't tell, if you don't, though." He looked at her soberly, like he wasn't sure he believed her, but maybe he wanted to. She kept her look open but honest. Finally he nodded. "Good," she said. "I'll get into lots of trouble otherwise."

He looked confused. "You will?"

Miss Letia sighed and looked away from him, over towards the hill. "I can only get my guard to go to the other side of the hill where he can't see me and I can't see him. You'll want to stay down here, away from his sight."

The boy shrank back into himself a little. "Okay. I will."

Miss Letia wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him. "Will you come sit next to me?"

He looked at her suspiciously. "Will you eat my energy?"

She laughed. For the first time in months. "If only nourishment came so easily. Even for demons it comes from emotions, not personal energy. I am not a demon, and neither are you."

His eyes got dark and sad. She did capture his hand this time. "Izark. You are not a demon." She held his hand tightly as he pulled to flee her. She wouldn't let him. "You've given yourself away to me, by reacting to that statement. Sit quietly. I am not afraid, nor will I go back on my promise to not tell.

"And I will say it again: you are not a demon. You are a child who is being made to carry too much weight before your time. Sit here and escape with me. I will let you be just what you are, except lonely. When you are with me, you can't be lonely, because I'm here."

His frightened face was filled with confusion. "What do you want from me?"

She considered him for a moment, then answered, "A bouquet of flowers. There are many here. Bring me one of each kind. Don't forget the greenery. The fragrant leaves are important and part of the whole as well. Then I want you to sit with me for a time." She wanted to escape with him, and not be lonely as well, if only for a short time. "Will you promise, if I let your hand go?"

He was standing straight and stiff, as if he wasn't believing her, then he suddenly bowed a cute, child's honest bow. "I promise." She immediately let go of his hand. He blinked in surprise. Slowly, he turned away, then looked around at the field. She watched him as he began to walk the field, carefully picking a flower here, a green stem there, comparing what he already had to what there was before him.

A few things ‘bit' him, as they had prickly stems and he had to learn to be cautious with them. It made her smile, his reactions, but even more the fact that he slowly became lost in the work until he was even finding the smaller flowers that grew low to the ground. He was very meticulous, but it wasn't because he was afraid of her anymore. Now it was because he was interested, curious. That was more like it. Children were supposed to be curious.

She relaxed and felt the wind, smelled the fragrance of the field. Occasionally his own scent came to her, tantalizing her. He smelled musty, dusty, and ... tangy, like hot iron that is cooling slowly on the anvil.

The wind, which had been fickle and a little high when he'd been nervous, was back to what it had been before. At times she could see it blow through the flowers from her to him. She decided he must be remembering her at those times. Air and fire. He would own those two, some day.

Finally Izark looked up, looked around to get his bearings, then came towards her. This time the wind blew from him to her and she smiled. His bouquet smelled lovely, even with the herbs that weren't so pleasant to smell mixed in. He arrived in front of her, bowed, and handed her the bouquet.

She gracefully took it. "Thank you, Izark. I don't think I've ever been so kindly and with such great manners handed such a beautiful bouquet before. I'm grateful for your efforts to collect it for me." She bowed her head to him. "Please, sit with me now. I'm sure your feet would like to rest from your hunting."

Izark shifted on his feet slightly, then knelt in front of her, his hands in fists on his knees. She looked down at the bouquet, then lifted a large, beautiful white flower, with pale yellow at the interior and pale pink at the tips.

"This is the lilly, Izark. The flower bud is edible fried, the flower itself is edible raw, and appreciated best with other greens. It has a hint of sweetness to it, and of course, tastes floral. The roots of older, strong plants, can be harvested and baked to be eaten, or dried and powdered for a flour, in emergencies. Baked is much better, really." She put it in his lap.

Izark picked it up, looked at it closely, smelled it, then put it back down in his lap. "I didn't know flowers had uses." Interest lit his eyes a little.

Miss Letia nodded. "All things growing have uses. Sit with me. I will teach you."

They sat for over an hour with her going through every plant he'd brought her, flower or green. Most had medicinal uses, a few others were food-stuff, some were only good for perfume. She was careful to explain the poisonous ones, and what they were most poisonous to, since some were more poisonous to the creatures men used, rather than to men.

When they were done, the bouquet was back in Izark's lap. "Take the bouquet home, Izark. Dry the plants, and write down what I taught you, keeping the plant with the page of explanations. You can memorize it better if you try to remember it again by writing it, even if you've forgotten parts."

He looked up at her. "Can I bring it back and have you correct it?"

"Won't your own tutors be able to do that?" she asked him, arching a brow.

He looked embarrassed. She tipped her head and waited. "Well...," he looked down, "I'd rather you did it, if I could meet you again?"

She smiled at him gently. "I would like that Izark... but if I'm a fallen star, I don't know when I'll have to go back." He looked so disappointed. "I'll try, Izark. I do always come here when I need to run away and breathe, but they don't often let me come. At the very least, if you keep coming back when you can, you can remember that here, you don't have to be lonely.

"If I've had to return, I'll keep you company from above, and the flowers will keep you company here below. If I'm still here and we happen to meet again, then you and I can keep each other company, like we have today." She held out her hand to him, and this time he took it himself.

When they were looking eye to eye again, she smiled. "That is the best I can promise, Izark, I'm sorry. But I will always remember you, the boy who was able to be curious and explore, and for a few hours, just be a child."

She rose to her feet. "I've been long enough. If I don't go now, my guard will break his promise and come looking for me. That would make me break my promise." Izark stood with her.

She leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "Be well, Izark. Experiment here in the field with your fire and your air. They will aid you immensely in your years ahead. Don't be afraid of them, or they will destroy you.

"Start small -- all things start small, even you, even me. Some day, you will do big things, and they will be wonderful and marvelous things. You have a kind, honest heart. The things you do will be kind and honest as well." She looked at him in the eyes with kindness and love. "Of this, I have no doubt."

She turned to go and he held on to her hand, pulling her back slightly. She turned and looked into his eyes. He looked surprised he'd done it, then blushed. "Ah..., thank you. Thank you for teaching me and for your kind words. ...Will you tell me your name?"

She gently released her hand from his, then lightly stroked his cheek. "You could name me?" He paused, then shook his head. She sighed, taking her hand back. "Very well. I will tell you, but I am as afraid to have you know it as you were to have me know yours."

Izark paused and swallowed hard, then gave her a very earnest look. "I won't be. I won't be afraid."

"Good," she said with an encouraging smile. "Kind, honest, and courageous. With those three you will go very far indeed. Izark kia Tarj ...I am Miss Letia kia Haag. It has been a pleasure to make your acquaintance today." She gave the boy a little bow, then turned and walked away, up the hill, moving slowly, for that was the only speed she had, hobbled as she was by her restraints.

She was half-way up the hill when the wind came her way again. She waited and was indeed rewarded in a surprising way as small arms were thrown around her. She turned partially, enough to touch Izark gently on the head, then caress it. She carefully pried him off, then pulled him around to stand in front of her. He wouldn't meet her eyes.

She knelt down in front of him and took him in an embrace. He held very still, then suddenly flung his arms around her neck and held on very tightly. She could feel him begin to shake and she let him silently cry on her shoulder.

"Why?" he finally managed to ask.

She pondered the question. "Izark, sometimes... we are given things to do, and we must see them to the end, even if the people around us don't understand. We can't choose their lives for them. We can only choose our own -- what we will do, how we will behave. If we let them decide for us, we lose who we are.

"I know who I am. Learn who you are. Be the best Izark there is, for there is only one. I will watch you from above. I look forward to seeing your heart blossom into the kind, honest, and courageous flower that it is."

"But..., but you are, too!" he cried.

She pulled back and looked at him. "Yes, I am. Have you seen it, too?" He nodded, wiping at his face. "Well, that's good, then. There is at least one who has been willing to try to see the ‘me' I see. I won't be sad, now."

She put her hand on his head, then rose again. "Please, try not to be too sad, too. Where I will go next is happier for me than here is. There are people I love and who love me where I am going next. Some day, you will have that experience, too, of having someone to love and who loves you. Such a kind heart as yours will draw them to you.

"Leave them some space, okay? Don't become a closed and withered flower. Flowers close at night, but in the day they open for the sun. Keep your secrets close, but when your sun comes, open and let it in."

He looked up into her eyes, then nodded. She smiled and nodded back, then took a step forward. He stepped to the side and watched her as she hobbled to the top of the hill. She turned back once, to look over the field of flowers, and at the black-haired Sky Demon child one more time.

He bowed to her. She nodded back, then turned away and moved carefully down the other side of the hill, returning to her guard, as she had promised.

She held in her heart that day, and all the way to the gallows, the image of that child. She died with a faint smile on her lips, grateful for that one last opportunity of peace and to do good. She would do her part and keep her promise to watch over him, as one who was ignorantly called "demon" for another.

Chapter Text

My mother

Bore me. Taught me gentleness, desire, longing, compassion.

Miss Letia

Nurtured me. Taught me an appreciation of nature, to be who I really am, tenderness, kindness, courage.

Gaya

Protected me. Taught me persistence, strength through gentleness, swordsmanship, purpose.

Noriko

Changed me. Taught me faith, hope, trust, unconditional love.

Barago

Teased me. Taught me the strength of repentance, the freedom of true forgiveness, loyalty.

Agol

Tested me. Taught me fathership and husbandship, companionship with others and the world, fortitude.

Geena

Delighted me. Taught me joy, caution that doesn't immobilize, capability despite handicap.

Grand Duke Jeida

Mentored me. Taught me inner peace, contemplation, the strength of gentle honest words, nobleness.

Banadam

Pushed me. Taught me rivals have a purpose, jealousy and how to overcome it, how to demonstrate love to others.

Rontarna and Koriki

Brothered me (Little Brothers). Taught me the purpose of steady companions, patience, family bonds.

Zena

Encouraged me. Taught me to make my own destiny, encouragement, living true to myself without stressing myself too much.

Anita and Rottenina

Sistered me (Little Sisters). Taught me the fun of steady companions, relaxation, patience.

Tazasheena

Tempted me. Taught me the difference between outer beauty and inner beauty, caution, honesty with myself, that even people who choose to do evil have a purpose.

The Mayor of the Flower Festival town

Led me. Taught me how to encourage others gently, strength in right doing, how to enjoy life even while carrying heavy responsibilities.

Kizak

Uncled me. Taught me that there is a future, and it can still be good if it changes; not to fear commitment; humility.