Chapter Text
I’m notorious for not getting the best gifts. I don’t expect extravagant gifts, so I don’t know much about getting them… And it’s not like Jade asked for anything at all. But, she deserved something special. It was Mother’s Day, and I owed her something unforgettable. It was our first Mother’s Day after getting Lian back. I had a month and a half to think about it, and I pored over everything she ever told me, every argument we ever had, and everything she ever fondly mentioned. I couldn’t believe how well I remembered her in my mind. I realized I made a mistake with how I dealt with her and Lian. And without thinking I caused some undue hurt thinking I was doing the right thing. I think we both made mistakes in how we dealt with Lian at first, but I took Lian away. I took control, and I should’ve respected that Jade was just as capable as I was. She did it alone before I got there, but I didn’t respect that. I think everything happened so fast and emotions ran so high, that I didn’t consider her.
So, I wanted to do something special for her to make up for it. I wanted to give her an unforgettable gift—no strings attached. I just wanted to give her a gift that made everything we’ve been through feel… I don’t know. Maybe I just wanted to see her to know how much she still meant to me. And somehow, that led me to do something as impulsive as it was stupid. It was a long shot based on a hunch, but I had to look into it for her sake. There was no harm in checking. If I was right, I’d have great news for Jade by Mother’s Day. If I was wrong, no one would have to know.
The only problem was keeping it a secret from Lian. I didn’t want to get her hopes up. Obviously, I couldn’t take her with me, so I left her with Jade. Besides, they needed that time together anyway. I think Lian secretly wanted an excuse to spend time with her mom long-term. So, I was shocked to receive a call from her when I checked into the hotel. “What’s up?” I questioned.
“Why won’t you tell me what you’re getting Mom?” Lian questioned.
I smelled my shirt and looked in the mirror at the back of the door. “Because you’d give it away,” I replied, “And I want you to be just as surprised as she is…” I threw a file down on the bed before untying my boots and laying back.
“Are you tired?” Lian asked. Her voice was soft.
“A little bit, but it’s good to hear your voice. What’d you eat today?” I asked.
Lian made a soft noise over the phone while she tried to remember what she had eaten. “A smoothie bowl with graham crackers… Then, I made a grilled cheese sandwich, and Mom made tuna so we ate half of each. Now, Mom’s making fettuccine for dinner,” Lian replied.
“Mmm… Fettuccine. Sounds good right now,” I smiled.
“Did you eat? It’s gotta be dinnertime wherever you are,” Lian pried.
I chuckled. “I can’t disclose that kind of information, Pumpkin. But I haven’t eaten yet. Would I be a copycat if I ate pasta, too?” I asked.
“ Copycat? I thought we were above cat puns, Dad,” Lian sighed. I knew she secretly thought they were funny but that one was completely unintended. “Dad? Do you have to go?”
“Not yet… No, I can stay on the phone for a little while longer,” I answered.
“Do you wanna talk to Mom?” Lian asked. I know she wanted Jade and I to get back together, but I didn’t want to push things. If it was going to happen, it’d just happen.
I hesitated. “Yeah, I can talk to her. But first, I wanna say I love you very much,” I whispered.
“I love you too, Dad,” Lian whispered in reply.
“Do you need my help with something?” Jade teased.
I chuckled. I know she would’ve preferred to hear me beg for her help, but I didn’t want or need it this time. This was for her… And I had to do it by myself if I wanted it to mean anything. “Nope. Having fun?” I questioned.
“I am. Thanks for this,” Jade replied. Her voice sounded softer, and she was so genuine. So sweet. It sounded like the Jade I fell in love with. She had her moments. Vulnerable. Gentle. Maybe I spoiled that… But I was starting to see her smooth out around the edges again. I think I wanted that more than her love. I just wanted her to be herself with me again. Her full self. “You’re quiet… What’s on your mind?”
“It’s nothing. I just—. I just wanna listen to you talk. How was your day?” I replied.
Jade sighed, but it was the kind of pleasant sigh a person gives when they have nothing but good things to say. “It was great… We went to the gym and there was this new smoothie bowl place she wanted to try out. Oh, and we got matching T-shirts. I’m still cool enough for her to match outfits with me,” Jade answered. “You’re not usually one to ask about my day. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine… I’ve just been thinking a lot—.”
“You must be exhausted,” Jade teased.
“Cute. Real cute,” I replied. I think I missed that part of us. I miss the parts before the hurt. I can’t undo it, but I can—. I don’t know if I can fix it. I want to.
“Are you sure you’re good? Lian and I could come there if you—.”
“No, no. I’m good. I’ve just been thinking about you. I think things need to change soon,” I interrupted.
“You can’t—.”
“Not like that. I want you to have her more… You need each other. I was scared when I first found out about her, and we were both—. We can work out the details privately later on, but I wanna do the right thing by Lian. She should be with you more… If that’s what you want,” I suggested. I couldn’t believe the words came out of my mouth so easily. I don’t know if I wanted to say that exactly, but it was out of my hands.
She laughed, but it sounded sad. “Um… Yeah. Yeah, I’d love that. We’ll talk when you get back, and I wanna talk about something else, too,” Jade whispered, “But I’ll let you do what you’ve got to do right now. Take care of yourself.”
“You too,” I mumbled as I hung up the phone. I don’t know why it scared me so much to talk to her about Lian. I’ve known for a long time that I wanted to split time more evenly between us. Maybe it’d turn out perfectly and we’d slowly become the family we should’ve been… Or… It’d backfire terribly, and they’d both end up resenting me. I had to take that chance for Lian and Jade’s sake, though… Didn’t I?
**
I fell asleep reading the file. I had a lot of time to think in that hotel room about how I’d go about things. I couldn’t just take him. I mean, I could. They didn’t legally adopt him. They just sort of received him from some questionable people out to hurt Jade. I didn’t even know what kind of people they were. It was a sensitive situation, and I wanted advice, but I didn’t want to involve anyone. I couldn’t sleep for long. The stress of figuring out how to go about this made me feel kind of sick.
The address was a nice gated community in Iowa. I took a jog at their park, ran the trail around the back of their house, and walked past the private school during kindergarten recess. If the tip was correct, he would’ve been in the afternoon class. I crossed the street and stopped to tie my shoes while I glanced across to the gate, watching the kids’ faces. I didn’t see any kid that really stood out to me. It’s not like I expected things to happen all at once… But the anticipation was different for something like this. I spent a month trying to get a lead on him and nothing would’ve been more satisfying than being able to take him home to Jade. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I knew I wasn’t, but I wanted this for Jade so badly. If I could do this one thing for her, I think I’d feel okay.