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“Babe, you know that’s not what I meant.” Coriolanus sighed into his phone, rubbing his temples in frustration.
Lucy Gray smirked, arching an eyebrow at her best friend as he mouthed, “Just kill me now” in her direction. He playfully made finger guns, “shooting” himself for dramatic effect, and Lucy Gray held back a laugh.
“Coriolanus! Are you even listening to me?” Livia’s piercing voice blared through the phone, loud enough that both he and Lucy Gray flinched. Coriolanus quickly checked to make sure she wasn’t on speaker.
“Yes, of course I am,” he replied, turning away from Lucy Gray as he tried to calm his girlfriend down.
Lucy Gray rolled her eyes subtly, watching him reassure Livia with practiced patience.
For six months now, Coriolanus had been dating Livia Cardew. Why he was with her, Lucy Gray couldn’t fathom. Girls like Livia used to ignore him entirely, as if he were invisible. And yet, he was impossible to miss, standing at six feet tall, with striking golden-blond hair and piercing blue eyes that seemed to see right through everyone. Even in the baggy clothes and thick glasses he used to wear, he had always been effortlessly handsome.
Back then, most of Coriolanus’ time was spent in chess club with its two other quiet members, honor society, his minimum-wage retail job alongside Lucy Gray, and sometimes the drama club, when she could convince him to come hang out. It was a time Lucy Gray would’ve been perfectly happy to preserve forever.
But things had changed. He’d realized last year that colleges looked at more than just grades—they wanted “well-rounded” students with sports and extracurriculars. Needing a better-paying job to help cover his living expenses and save for college, he’d spent the summer working construction. Between that and training for fall soccer tryouts, Lucy Gray hardly saw him. Then, one week before school started, he showed up looking like a completely different person—toned, muscular, his once-scrawny frame now sculpted like a statue.
“Coryo, I swear, if I threw a quarter at your abs, it would bounce off,” she teased, trying to ignore her racing heart as he laughed, cheeks reddening.
That fall, Coriolanus not only made the soccer team; he was elected team captain, much to the frustration of Festus Creed, who’d been eyeing the position for years. And as if that weren’t enough, he was also voted class president.
But the change wasn’t lost on the rest of the school either. The same jocks who’d once shoved him around were now inviting him to parties, giving him those casual one-armed guy hugs. And the same cheerleaders who once acted like he didn’t exist were now vying for his attention, flocking to him as if he were the last designer item on a sale rack.
Lucy Gray could barely contain her laughter as Persephone Price attempted to flirt with him, placing a hand on his bicep, only for Coriolanus to startle and stumble back, crashing into the lockers before quickly retreating.
Despite his new popularity, though, he was still just Coryo to her. Her best friend since elementary school. The one who listened to every song she wrote, cheered her on at all her performances, and showed up at her door whenever she needed him—even if he only had to cross the yard from next door.
And, of course, he was still the Coryo she’d been secretly in love with for as long as she could remember.
Then Livia Cardew arrived on the scene. Head cheerleader, wealthiest girl in their class, and completely relentless. Unlike Persephone and the others, Livia made no effort to be subtle about her intentions. She told Coriolanus they were going on a date, and soon, they were officially an item.
Lucy Gray wasn’t the biggest fan of Livia
. She’d spent years mocking Lucy Gray’s style and accent and had even been caught ripping down drama club posters. But Coriolanus didn’t know any of that. Lucy Gray kept those feelings to herself, not wanting to burden him when he had his own stresses to juggle.
At least Livia was polite when she was around Lucy Gray and Coriolanus, offering backhanded compliments with a too-perfect smile.
“Wow, Lucy Gray, that dress is really… something. I could never pull that off. You’re so brave.”
Or, “That song you played in the car was, uh, different. You’re so unique.”
Unique, different—those words were veiled substitutes for things Lucy Gray knew Livia wanted to say but wouldn’t. But Coriolanus, being Coriolanus, never noticed. Straightforward and practical, he liked Livia’s assertiveness, and Lucy Gray could only admire the other girl for saying what she herself had always been too afraid to say: that she liked him.
“Yes, I know, Liv. I won’t forget,” Coriolanus said, his words breaking Lucy Gray from her thoughts. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He hung up, turning to Lucy Gray with a groan, dramatically throwing himself face-first onto her bed.
Lucy Gray giggled, sitting beside him as he grumbled into the blankets.
Lucy Gray brushed his hair gently, her fingers grazing his forehead as she moved a stray lock out of his eyes. “So,” she said softly, a playful light in her eyes, “what did you say to make Livia so upset this time?”
Coriolanus sighed, rolling his eyes as he propped himself up on his elbows. “She was mad because I made a joke in front of her friends.”
Lucy Gray smirked. “Oh, I’ve got to hear this.”
“Okay, so…they were all talking about ‘manifesting’—you know, vision boards, affirmations, the works.” He glanced at her, his mouth curving into a smile. “And I said I was ‘manifesting’ that I’d never have to sit through another conversation about manifesting again.”
Lucy Gray clapped her hand over her mouth, stifling her laughter. “No way. You didn’t.”
“Oh, I did.” He shook his head, a glint of humor in his eyes. “It didn’t go over well. Apparently, that’s serious business.”
She burst out laughing, not holding back this time. “I think that’s hilarious! How could she not find that funny?”
“I knew you’d get it,” he said, his gaze lingering on her with a twinkling warmth. “It’s like…with you, I don’t have to explain myself. I say something, you laugh. But with her, it’s like there’s this…translation gap.”
She could feel her heart pounding, but she shrugged casually, biting back what she really wanted to say. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t understand you the way I do. Instead, she let out a sigh and gave him a nudge. “Come on, enough moping around. Get up and dance with me!”
He groaned in protest, but she was already scrolling through her phone. She found an indie rock song—something soulful and melodic, a world apart from the curated playlists Livia would approve of. She held out her hand, giving him a challenging look. “Come on, show me what you’ve got.”
Coriolanus took her hand, a lopsided grin spreading across his face as he stood up, trying to match her rhythm. But his attempt at dancing was awkward, his movements stiff as he bobbed along, and she couldn’t help but laugh.
“You’re terrible!” she teased, whirling around him as he tried to follow her lead.
“Terrible?” he echoed, pretending to be insulted. “I’ll show you ‘terrible’!” He grabbed a pillow from her bed and swung it at her, laughing as she dodged.
“Oh, it’s on!” she said, grabbing a pillow of her own.
They started swinging wildly, dodging and laughing as feathers puffed out from a tiny tear in one of the pillows. They were both breathless, half-laughing, half-gasping, as they stumbled around the room. Coriolanus made a move to duck one of her swings but ended up tripping over his own foot and falling backward onto the bed, pulling her with him.
She landed beside him, and then, somehow, he was on top of her, his hands braced on either side of her as he looked down at her, their faces inches apart. The laughter faded as she gazed up at him, her breath catching in her throat. His blue eyes, as clear and bright as the summer sky, seemed to study her, and she felt a strange, electric pull between them, her heart thundering as if it might break free of her chest.
For a moment, she wondered if he felt it too. He was so close, his face softened in that quiet, unguarded way she rarely saw, like he was seeing her— really seeing her. She could almost imagine him leaning in, closing the distance between them. Her breath hitched, her lips parting, and she could feel herself being drawn to him, her eyes dropping to his mouth…
Then his phone alarm went off, loud and sudden, shattering the moment.
They both blinked, the spell broken, and Coriolanus glanced down at his phone with a groan. “That’s my reminder…I’ve got to get back home to give Grandma’am her medication. Tigris is on the night shift, so…”
“Oh, right.” She quickly sat up, trying to mask her disappointment with a smile. “Duty calls.”
“Thanks, Lucy Gray. For everything. I needed this,” he said, reaching out to tuck a stray feather out of her hair, his touch lingering just a second longer than necessary.
“Anytime, Coryo.” Her voice was soft, her heart aching as she watched him head toward the door.
He turned back one last time, giving her a small, grateful smile. “See you tomorrow?”
She nodded, managing a smile in return. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”
And then he was gone, leaving her standing alone in her room, the scent of his cologne still lingering in the air. The silence felt heavy, her heart racing with all the things left unsaid as she sank down onto her bed, the memory of his touch still warm on her skin, wondering if he’d felt even a fraction of what she had in that one, fleeting moment.
Lucy Gray shivered on the bleachers, pulling her thin, frayed jacket tighter around herself. She could barely feel her fingers from the cold, but she’d wanted to be here for Coriolanus. He’d shown up for her performances, clapping wildly from the front row, and now it was her turn to support him. She wished Tam Amber could’ve come along, just to have some company, but he’d picked up an extra shift. Winter was supposed to be harsh, and they needed every penny to keep the heat on.
As the clock ticked down, tied at 12-12, she watched as Coriolanus took possession of the ball, his movements sharp and focused. Her heart hammered in her chest as he tore down the field, weaving past defenders with surprising agility. Her hands flew to her mouth in anticipation as he lined up his shot. With just seconds left, he scored the winning goal, and the crowd erupted in deafening cheers. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders, chanting his name as they celebrated the school’s first county finals win in over a decade.
Lucy Gray clapped and cheered, her smile stretching so wide it hurt. She wanted to run down there and wrap him in a hug, tell him how amazing he was and how proud she felt. She took a few steps toward the field, working her numb legs, but before she could reach him, a flash of blonde moved past her, and Livia leaped into Coriolanus’ arms. His girlfriend pressed a fervent kiss to his lips, and his teammates whooped and whistled, egging them on.
Lucy Gray stopped in her tracks, her heart sinking as she watched them. She knew it was natural for Livia to be the one he celebrated with—she was his girlfriend, after all. She looked perfect standing there in her cheer uniform, her hair neatly tied with a bow, his number glittering on her cheek, while Lucy Gray felt painfully out of place. Her chapped lips and old jacket felt almost laughable compared to Livia’s polished look. She was secure in herself, or at least she used to be. But right now, watching him kiss Livia with all eyes on them, she felt small and misplaced.
She turned to slip away, to disappear before anyone noticed her, but a familiar hand caught her arm, pulling her back into a warm embrace. The scent of sweat, sandalwood, and a hint of roses filled her senses. Coriolanus.
“Lucy Gray, you came!” he said, his voice filled with genuine surprise and happiness.
She smiled, letting herself bask in his warmth for a moment. “Of course I did, Coryo. You think I’d miss seeing you score the winning goal?”
He chuckled, his eyes sparkling as he kept her close, their laughter blending seamlessly. “I dunno. I thought maybe you’d be off practicing your tambourine solos.”
She nudged him playfully. “Tambourine solos? You know it’s a lot more than that, Mr. Soccer Star.”
“Oh, don’t I know it,” he replied with a grin, his eyes twinkling as he looked at her. They bantered back and forth, their laughter rising above the crowd, his words pulling her closer into their own little world. It felt so natural, so safe, and she found herself wishing she could stay right here, wrapped in his arms, forever.
He smirked. “So, what’d you think? Impressed?”
“Impressed doesn’t even cover it,” she teased, laughing. “I think I’m witnessing the birth of a legend.”
But before she could say anything else, a sharp voice cut through the air. “Coryo.”
Livia was standing nearby, a bright but pointed smile on her face. Her gaze flicked briefly to Lucy Gray, a polite but dismissive smile crossing her lips. Coriolanus shifted uncomfortably, dropping his arms from around Lucy Gray and moving to put one around Livia instead, though it looked as natural as a borrowed jacket.
“Hey, Livia,” Lucy Gray greeted, forcing a friendly tone. She could feel Livia’s gaze scanning her clothes with thinly veiled judgment.
“Lucy Gray,” Livia responded, her voice sweet but layered with a subtle sharpness. “It’s so…charming to see you here. I wouldn’t have guessed a soccer game was your scene.”
Lucy Gray bristled, but she forced herself to smile. “I wouldn’t miss cheering for Coryo.”
Livia’s eyes flicked over Lucy Gray’s worn jacket. “Well, you certainly stand out in the crowd. Not many people would pull off a look like that.”
The comment felt like a slap, and a sinking feeling settled in her stomach as she looked between Coriolanus and Livia, the picture-perfect couple with their matching blonde hair and blue eyes, his soccer jersey complementing her cheer uniform. They looked like they belonged together in every way she couldn’t.
Just then, Sejanus, Coriolanus’ teammate, bounded over. “Hey, Coryo! Victory party at my place tonight! And Lucy Gray…” He gave her a flirtatious smile, his eyes lingering on her just a bit longer. “You should come too.”
Coriolanus eyebrows furrowed at his teammate for a second, just a second before he grinned, nodding. “Yes, you have to come, Lucy Gray. It'll be fun!”
Lucy Gray hesitated, glancing at Coriolanus and then Livia, who didn’t even bother hiding her disdain at the idea of Lucy Gray attending the party.
Livia smiled sweetly, turning to Coriolanus. “Oh it’s alright if she doesn’t want to come, I’m sure she has other things she’d rather do.”
The words stung, and Lucy Gray found herself swallowing hard. She shook her head. “Yeah, I think I’m just gonna head home. Long day and all.” She tried to make her voice sound casual, unaffected.
Coriolanus frowned. “Are you sure? I mean, you’re invited. Sejanus wants you there. I want you there”
She nodded, even as it hurt to say. “Yeah, thanks, but I should go.”
Livia’s smile widened. “Well, have a good night, Lucy Gray. Not everyone can handle that scene.”
Before Lucy Gray could respond, Coriolanus gently pulled away from Livia, who was too stunned to react. “Livia, go on ahead. I’ll catch up—I’m going to walk Lucy Gray home.”
Lucy Gray’s eyes widened. “No, Coryo, it’s fine. You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do,” he said, his voice firm in a way that sent a shiver through her, making her knees feel weak. He shot her a reassuring smile. “I’ll be right behind you, Liv.”
Livia’s face faltered, a shadow of anger slipping past her composed smile. But she quickly collected herself, adjusting her cheer skirt with a stiff nod. “Fine. I’ll see you there.” She turned and walked away, leaving Coriolanus and Lucy Gray alone once again.
As they left the bright lights of the field behind, silence settled comfortably between them. The roar of the crowd was a fading memory, replaced by the quiet hum of street lamps and the rhythmic beat of Lucy Gray’s heart in her ears. She tried to ignore the way her heart raced with every step beside him, wishing her chest would settle, her cheeks would cool. But being here, in this quiet, dim world with Coriolanus, felt like slipping into a dream she’d wake from too soon.
“You know, Coryo, I didn’t exactly need a chaperone,” she teased, trying to keep her voice light. “I’m tougher than I look.”
He chuckled, giving her a nudge. “Lucy Gray, there’s no way I’d let you walk home alone in the dark. Besides, Barbie would have my head if she found out I let you go by yourself.” His voice softened. “And I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you.”
Her heart did a slow, heavy flip. Why did he have to say things like that? She felt the warmth spread across her cheeks, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“Wow, my hero.” She tried to keep her tone playful, hiding just how much she meant it. But Coriolanus only grinned, nudging her shoulder again, his laugh soft in the cool night air.
They walked on, her breath coming in small, visible puffs as the chill deepened. She rubbed her hands together, feeling the cold seep through her thin jacket, her teeth starting to chatter no matter how much she tried to hide it.
Coriolanus shot her a sidelong glance, his brow creased. “Lucy Gray…is that the same jacket you’ve been wearing all day?”
She flashed him a too-bright smile, trying to keep her voice steady despite the shivers wracking her frame. “Yep, this jacket is all I need! Keeps me…perfectly warm.” But the chattering of her teeth betrayed her, and she tried to force them still, to will the shivers to stop.
He stopped walking, looking her over with an exasperated smile. Without a word, he shrugged off his own thick, warm jacket and held it out to her.
“No, no, I’m fine!” she protested, shaking her head even as her eyes betrayed how tempting that jacket looked. “You’ll need it too, Coryo—we’re still a ways from my house.”
He tilted his head, a little half-smile playing on his lips. “Then how about a compromise?” He opened his jacket wide, tucking her under his arm and pulling her close, wrapping them both in his warmth. “There, now we can share.”
Lucy Gray’s heart lurched. Her skin prickled at the nearness of him, her stomach a whirlwind of butterflies. She wanted this more than she could say—but she also knew what it would do to her, how much harder it would make all the feelings she tried so desperately to hide.
Still, the earnest concern in his eyes melted her resolve. And, as her shivering grew, she finally relented, letting herself slip under his arm. Her voice was barely more than a whisper. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you about my terrible sharing skills.”
Coriolanus laughed, pulling her in a bit closer. “I’ll take my chances,” he said with a grin. “I think I can handle it.”
She laughed too, the sound nervous but warm. She could feel the solid strength of him beside her, his arm snug around her shoulders, and for a few precious moments, she let herself believe this closeness could mean something more.
After a few steps, she tilted her head up to look at him, her curiosity getting the better of her. “Where’d you get this jacket, anyway? It’s a bit…fancier than your usual.”
He hesitated, his cheeks darkening slightly. “Uh…Livia got it for me. Six-month anniversary present.” He looked away, his voice softer. “She thought I could use something ‘nice and grown-up,’ as she put it.”
Lucy Gray’s stomach dropped. The ache she’d managed to push down flared up again, sharp and unrelenting. So Livia hadn’t just bought him a jacket; she’d bought him something that would forever wrap him in her warmth, her thoughtfulness—something Lucy Gray could never offer him.
She swallowed, forcing a thin smile as she looked at the fabric, her voice barely steady. “Wow…so you two are pretty serious then.”
He glanced away, hesitating, his face clouded as though he were holding something back. “Yeah… I mean, we are. But…”
“But what?” She heard herself ask before she could stop, knowing she should let it go but unable to stop the hope flickering up inside her.
He sighed, his voice low. “It’s just…things are getting intense, I guess. She…is my first, you know?”
Lucy Gray’s breath caught in her throat. Her heart clenched, splintering in a fresh, unfamiliar way. She’d always known they weren’t together—he was with someone else. But this knowledge, this confirmation of how close he and Livia had become, made it feel so much more real, so much harder to deny the pain that ran through her like a wound.
“Oh…” she said softly, struggling to hide the hurt behind her voice. She looked down, forcing a tight smile. “I see.”
He looked at her, his eyes searching, almost like he could feel the ache she was trying to mask. “Lucy Gray…” He trailed off, his voice heavy, like he wanted to say something more. But whatever it was, he kept it to himself.
“Well, I hope it went better than my disaster with Billy Taupe last year,” she quipped, forcing a grin and hoping the mention of her ridiculous ex would lighten the mood.
But she felt Coriolanus tense beside her, and his grip around her shoulders subtly tightened. She knew he’d never liked Billy Taupe. Coriolanus had warned her more than once about the graduating senior, and she remembered the frustration in his eyes every time he caught them together. But she hadn’t listened—she couldn’t. Back then, her feelings for Coriolanus had already started to scare her. They were best friends, and she didn’t want to ruin that, couldn’t bear the thought of risking everything over feelings that she thought he’d never return. So she’d tried to distract herself, telling herself that Billy Taupe was good enough.
Of course, in the end, she’d realized Coriolanus was right. Billy Taupe had been nothing but trouble, taking her virginity only to turn up at Senior Prom on the arm of Mayfair Lipp, the principal’s daughter, as if she’d never meant a thing to him. It had stung, of course, but nowhere near as deeply as she’d let on. The only real regret she’d felt was that she hadn’t waited for someone who actually cared about her.
But now, as she felt Coriolanus’s arm around her, that regret twisted into something sharper. Because deep down, she knew that if it had been him—if it had been Coriolanus she’d shared that moment with—she would’ve meant it, every bit of it.
Silence fell between them again as they continued walking, his arm still around her, though it felt different now—a mix of warmth and pain, of things left unsaid. She wanted to pull away, to save herself the agony of staying close to him while knowing he was already someone else’s. But the thought of leaving his warmth, his touch, felt just as unbearable.
As they finally turned onto their street, Lucy Gray let out a shaky breath, her house only a few blocks away. Relief and heartbreak mingled inside her. She could do this—just make it home, then let herself fall apart in the quiet darkness of her room. She’d cry out every tangled feeling, every hurt, and try to shake free from the weight of everything she couldn’t say. Tomorrow, she’d force a smile, pretend that learning Coriolanus was with Livia in that way hadn’t shattered her heart. And with time, she’d get over him. She’d have to.
Her front door came into view, and she quickened her steps, preparing to ease out of Coriolanus’s hold and dash inside before he could see how close she was to breaking.
But he gently held her back, his hand firm yet soft on her shoulder. "Lucy Gray, don’t go out again in that thin sweater, okay?" His tone was almost a command, his eyes filled with worry. "I don’t want you catching a cold.”
She swallowed, hating how his simple words made her heart race. He had to stop saying things like that, making her feel this way. She forced a casual smile. "I’m fine, buddy.”
Coriolanus raised an eyebrow as her teeth chattered, and she shivered despite herself. She braced herself for the lie she’d usually tell, but the concern in his gaze weakened her defenses.
“I would if I could,” she mumbled, a half-hearted joke, throwing in “buddy” like it could make him feel less necessary to her.
His brows knitted in confusion. "What do you mean? You don’t have another jacket?”
Lucy Gray turned away, regretting the slip. The last thing she needed was his pity. But her silence seemed to answer for her.
“Lucy Gray… why didn’t you say anything?” His voice was soft, pleading.
“It’s no big deal,” she said quickly. "I saved up some money, but Maude Ivory needed a coat and new shoes… and I didn’t want to put more pressure on Barbie or Tam Amber. So, I just decided to stick it out until I can save for another one.”
Coriolanus looked at her with a mix of sympathy and frustration. “You know I could’ve helped you out. I’ve got a little money saved—”
“That’s for college, Coryo. Or Grandma’am’s meds. You’re just as broke as I am.” She shook her head, a hint of her accent slipping through as her cheeks burned from the cold—or maybe something else. "You’d be in the same spot if Livia hadn’t bought you that jacket.”
“That doesn’t matter,” he argued, his voice rising. "I would’ve figured something out.”
“Why, Coriolanus?” She looked at him, her voice laced with both anger and desperation. "Why do you care so much?”
He looked at her, his expression fierce. "Because I care about you, Lucy Gray.”
His words hung in the air, her heart catching painfully in her chest.
“You mean everything to me.”
A warmth flooded through her that pushed the cold from her bones. His words, his gaze—they wrapped around her heart, a reminder of just how deeply she felt for him. She almost wanted to laugh, to tell him that with him around, she didn’t need any other warmth.
But then he added softly, "You’re my best friend, Lucy Gray.”
The words hit like a blow. Best friend. She mattered to him, yes—but only as a friend. She’d always be someone he cared about, but not in the way she dreamed of.
“I’ll figure this out, I promise,” he said firmly, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before letting go. Dazed, she forced herself to step away, finally managing to open her door and walk inside.
That night, she cried as she’d planned—her sobs breaking through her like waves as she clutched her pillow. And when the tears finally dried, her heartache lingered, as sharp as ever. She loved him so deeply it hurt; his smile, his laugh, the feel of his arm around her. All of it replayed in her mind, lulling her into a fitful, dreamless sleep.
The next morning, she woke to something draped over the end of her bed. She sat up slowly, blinking at the warm, orange suede jacket with soft, fuzzy lining. It smelled faintly of roses, and her fingers traced its worn, delicate fabric.
Beside it lay a note in Coriolanus’s familiar handwriting:
"I told you I’d figure this out. This was my mother’s—she would’ve wanted you to have it. —Coryo"
Lucy Gray’s chest tightened, her heart aching all over again as she clutched the jacket to her chest, fighting back tears. It was too much, too kind, too full of memories and tenderness. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to let it go.
And when Coryo saw her wear it to school that Monday, his smile was so bright Lucy Gray was sure it could have lit up a whole city, and she couldn’t help but smile right back.
It was well past midnight when Lucy Gray heard the gentle but insistent knock on her front door. She froze, her heart skipping a beat—only one person would come by this late. Quickly, she opened the door, finding Coriolanus standing there, his face shadowed and downcast, his usual composure cracked.
“Coryo?” she asked softly, her heart pounding at the sight of him but twisting at his visible distress. “What’s wrong?”
He didn’t respond, just looked at her with those sad, pleading eyes, the same ones she’d seen so many times when they were kids. Then, barely a whisper, he asked, “Can I… can I just stay here with you for a bit? I don’t want to be alone.”
Without a word, she nodded, leading him inside. They climbed the stairs to her room, and she motioned for him to sit beside her on her bed. When he sat, he leaned into her, resting his head against her shoulder. Wordlessly, she wrapped her arms around him, letting him sink into her warmth. This—having him close, feeling his heartbeat through his shirt—felt like everything she’d ever needed. She wished she could take away all his pain, make him feel as safe and protected as he made her feel.
They sat in silence, her fingers gently brushing through his hair until he finally spoke. “It’s Tigris. She’s been… working herself sick. She’s done so much for me and Grandma’am, and I can’t stand to see her do it anymore.” His voice broke, and Lucy Gray tightened her hold. “I tried to give her some of my college savings to help pay the bills, but she refused. Told me that money was for my future, and then we got into this huge fight about it… and I just… I didn’t know where else to go.”
Lucy Gray’s heart ached for him. She thought of the sad, lonely boy she’d first met—the kid who’d been uprooted from his world, forced from a mansion across town into a rundown house across the street, living off his grandmother’s pension until Tigris had dropped out of high school to support them. She remembered how the other kids had teased him mercilessly, how he’d stayed quiet, taking it, until she’d decided she was going to be his best friend, whether he wanted it or not. And from that day on, she’d defended him. She’d stood up to anyone who gave him trouble, made him feel safe and wanted, and in time, he’d returned the favor, making her feel like she belonged.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been able to be there for you,” she murmured, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. “But I’m glad you came to me. You deserve every bit of peace, Coryo. You hear me?”
He nodded, looking up at her with watery eyes. “Thank you,” he said, his voice rough. “You’re the only person who really understands.”
She gave him a gentle smile, trying to ease the worry in his gaze. “I think Tigris just wants what’s best for you. If you keep working hard, finish school, and go after everything you want, then one day, you’ll be able to give back everything she’s given you. I know it’s hard, but this is her way of loving you.”
His gaze softened, the sadness in his eyes giving way to gratitude. “I’ll apologize to her tomorrow. You always know what to say.” He chuckled, and she couldn’t help but smile back.
“I just have all the answers,” she teased. “In fact, it’s kind of amazing how I keep it all together.”
He laughed, the sound rich and real, and she felt her heart swell at the sight of his smile. He looked at her, his eyes warm. “I like it when you smile,” he said softly. “It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”
She felt her breath catch, his gaze holding hers a little too long, a little too intently. For a moment, all her worries and fears fell away, and she let herself get lost in his eyes. But then reality crashed back. He was with Livia. And no matter how much her heart ached, their friendship was too important to risk. She couldn’t lose him.
Clearing her throat, she forced herself to look away. “How come you don’t talk to Livia about this stuff?”
A shadow crossed his face, and he looked down. “She doesn’t… understand me. She tries, but we’re just so different. Every time I try to talk about something deeper, her mind’s somewhere else. All she wants to talk about lately is Prom. She’s determined for us to win King and Queen, but I… don’t care about it as much as she does.”
“I just don’t think we belong together, we just don’t….fit”
As Coriolanus looked at her, his eyes soft and warm, Lucy Gray felt something rise in her chest—a fragile, tentative hope, delicate as the first bloom after winter. She let herself imagine, just for a fleeting moment, a world where they could be more than friends. She pictured late nights together under the stars, stolen glances across crowded rooms, and mornings spent waking up beside him, her hand wrapped in his, no more secrets between them. She let herself believe, for that tiny sliver of time, that he might look at her the way she looked at him, that his heart might be as tangled up in hers as hers was in his.
But then, reality pressed down, cold and sharp, breaking that hope before it could even take root. Her chest tightened painfully as she forced herself to let it go. She couldn’t let herself fall any further; she couldn’t bear to risk losing him if things didn’t work out. Their friendship was the safest, truest thing she had—something she’d counted on through every dark moment of her life. The thought of jeopardizing that, of shattering the trust between them if they tried and failed, was more than she could bear.
So she swallowed her feelings, burying them deep within herself like seeds that would never see the light. No matter how much it tore at her, it was safer to love him from a distance. Loving him this way hurt, yes, but it was a hurt she’d learned to live with, a wound she could hide. The pain of wanting him but never having him was nothing compared to the pain she’d feel if he walked away from her forever.
As she watched him, she told herself it was better this way—better to be his friend, even if it left her hollow and aching every time he looked at her with that soft gaze meant for someone else. Because as long as she kept her distance, as long as she loved him silently, she could keep him in her life. And that, she told herself, would have to be enough.
“Maybe…” she started carefully, pasting on a gentle smile. “Maybe there’s more to her than you think. Give it a little more effort. You never know what you might find.”
Coriolanus’s face fell, confusion and a hint of hurt flickering in his eyes. “Right. Yeah. You’re probably right.” He stood up abruptly, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I should, um… get going.”
Lucy Gray’s chest tightened, sensing his frustration. But she said nothing, watching as he turned to leave. He paused at the door, looking back with something unreadable in his eyes.
“Are you going to Prom?” he asked suddenly.
She shook her head, forcing a small smile. “Nah, I should probably stay in and rehearse my lines for the musical… and I don’t have a date.” It was a lie—Sejanus had asked, and she’d turned him down—but Coriolanus didn’t need to know that.
His expression softened, a flicker of disappointment crossing his face. “Well… I hope you change your mind. I think I’d enjoy it a lot more if you were there.”
Her heart stuttered at his words, unsure of what they meant or if she dared hope for something more. But before she could respond, he’d given her one last smile and disappeared into the night, leaving her heart racing and her mind a mess of longing and confusion.
In her room, Lucy Gray flopped back onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling as her mind raced with images of Coriolanus. She imagined him in a tuxedo, the dark fabric setting off his blond hair and those piercing blue eyes, standing beside Livia. Livia, beautiful and poised, a perfect match for him in every way that Lucy Gray wasn’t. She pictured them walking through the grand archway into the decorated gym, surrounded by their friends, while the whole school cheered them on as prom royalty.
Lucy Gray sighed and pulled her pillow over her face, muttering to herself, “This is ridiculous. I could be writing music right now or, better yet, just going to bed early and ignoring the whole thing.” She threw her pillow to the side and sat up, but before she could settle on a decision, her cousin Barb Azure strode into the room, eyebrow raised and arms crossed.
“Lucy Gray, why on earth aren’t you getting ready for prom?” Barbie asked, her voice a mix of amusement and exasperation. “Don’t tell me you’re planning to spend tonight moping around here.”
Lucy Gray rolled her eyes and shrugged. “Prom just… isn’t my thing. It’s silly, full of people trying to look perfect and pretend they’re in some movie or something. I’d rather be here, writing, or sleeping.” She forced a laugh. “Besides, I hate school dances.”
Barb Azure tilted her head, eyeing her with a knowing look. “Hate them? Really? Because, last I checked, you’ve never actually been to one. One late-night viewing of Sixteen Candles does not count as a life experience.”
Lucy Gray faltered, avoiding her cousin’s eyes. “Yeah, well, maybe I just don’t see the point of going to a dance where I’ll have to watch Coriolanus… with her.”
Barbie raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at her lips. “So it’s not the dances you hate. It’s the thought of seeing him with Livia that’s keeping you here.”
Lucy Gray’s face flushed. “That’s… that’s not true,” she mumbled. But the excuses sounded weak, even to her own ears.
Barbie sighed, stepping closer to sit beside her on the bed. “Lucy Gray, I’ve known how you feel about Coryo since you were kids. The way you’d go out of your way to defend him, or how you’d sit up with him when he needed someone, and you’d light up anytime he’d walk through the door.” She paused, her voice softening. “He needs to know how you feel. You can’t keep hiding this forever.”
Lucy Gray hugged her knees, looking down. “But what if… what if telling him ruins everything? He’s with Livia. They’re happy. And even if they’re not perfect, he’d never see me that way. If I say something and it messes things up, I’ll lose him—our friendship, everything.”
Barb Azure put a hand on her shoulder, her gaze gentle but steady. “Lucy Gray, holding your feelings back is dangerous. It’ll eat at you, little by little, until there’s nothing left of who you are. When you keep something that big bottled up, it changes you. And in the end, it’ll be the very thing that ruins your friendship, no matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise.”
Lucy Gray shook her head, trying to brush off the words. “But—”
Her cousin cut her off, her voice softer but no less certain. “And maybe, just maybe, you’re missing something important. Have you ever thought that he might feel the same way about you?”
Lucy Gray blinked, taken aback. “What…? Why would you think that?”
Barbie chuckled. “I’ve watched him over the years, too, you know. The way he looks at you. How he’s there the second you need him, how he goes out of his way to make you smile. The only people I ever saw look at each other that way were your parents. People who loved each other until the very end. You may not see it, but trust me, he loves you, Lucy Gray. He’s just as scared as you are.”
A lump rose in Lucy Gray’s throat. “You really think so?”
“I think you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t find out,” Barb Azure replied, her voice gentle but firm. She stood, giving Lucy Gray’s shoulder a squeeze. “Think about it. And maybe tonight, you’ll decide it’s worth the risk.” With that, she left, closing the door softly behind her.
Alone in the quiet, Lucy Gray hugged her knees tighter, her mind racing. She thought back on all the little moments she’d shared with Coriolanus: the way his smile would linger a second longer when he saw her, the late nights where he’d confide in her things he told no one else, how he’d insisted on walking her home in the cold, tucking her close under his jacket so she’d stay warm.
What if Barb Azure was right? What if all those gestures, those small acts of care, were his way of telling her how he felt? Her mind raced through all their memories, all the times he’d been there for her, the way he looked at her when he thought she didn’t notice. Maybe she’d been so afraid of losing him, she’d been blind to what was right in front of her.
She took a deep breath, her heart racing with a new determination. Better to try and fail than to live a life of “what ifs.” She didn’t know what would happen, or if she’d find the courage to tell Coriolanus what was in her heart, but she knew one thing for certain.
Tonight, she was going to prom.
Lucy Gray stepped through the doors of the school gym and stopped in awe, momentarily forgetting the butterflies in her stomach. The place had been transformed beyond recognition. String lights draped down from the ceiling like cascading stars, casting a warm, ethereal glow over the venue. Ornate flower arrangements of deep red and shimmering gold adorned every corner, giving the space a luxurious, almost royal ambiance. The theme, “A Night in Versailles,” was almost absurdly extravagant for a high school prom. Tall mirrors lined the walls, reflecting the chandeliers and adding depth to the already over-the-top decor, while a fountain splashed gently near the entrance, its water tinted a soft rose by the colored lights. Everything about it felt surreal, like stepping into a fairytale ballroom.
She took a deep breath, clutching the soft fabric of her mother’s dress. It was a dress like no other in the room—a rich tapestry of purples, blues, and greens that seemed to shift in color as she moved. The bodice hugged her gently, with off-the-shoulder sleeves that framed her collarbones, and a flowy, layered skirt that added a touch of whimsy. It was striking, colorful, and completely Lucy Gray. Barb Azure had done her makeup to match, with smoky eyes that shimmered like twilight and a touch of deep pink lipstick. Her hair was swept back in loose waves, pinned with a tiny clip adorned with purple flowers that complemented her dress perfectly. She looked the part, but still felt slightly out of place, as if she’d stepped into someone else’s dream. But none of that mattered. She was here for one reason and one reason only.
Looking around, she scanned the room, hoping to spot Coriolanus among the clusters of students laughing and dancing under the sparkling lights. Just as she started to feel self-conscious, she turned and bumped straight into Sejanus.
He blinked, his eyes widening. “Lucy Gray, wow… you look beautiful,” he said, his voice soft with genuine admiration.
She offered a warm smile, accepting the compliment, but her heart didn’t skip a beat, as it always did when Coriolanus said things like that. “Thanks, Sejanus. Have you seen Coryo?”
Sejanus smirked knowingly and pointed toward the stage. “He’s over there, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else.”
Lucy Gray’s gaze followed Sejanus’s gesture, and her heart sped up. There he was, standing near the stage, looking striking in his fitted tux, the dark fabric emphasizing the brightness of his blue eyes and the golden glow of his hair, which was styled perfectly for the occasion. He was fidgeting, clearly a little uncomfortable with the crowd. For all his new popularity, Coriolanus had always been happiest in quiet spaces, content to spend an evening watching whatever cheesy movie she picked out, never complaining—well, not too much. A warm ache settled in her chest at the thought.
Sejanus chuckled, catching her gaze lingering on Coriolanus. “If he messes this up, Lucy Gray, maybe I’ll get my chance,” he teased, and she laughed, nudging him.
“I’ll think about it,” she said, grinning.
As Sejanus walked away, Lucy Gray took a steadying breath and started toward Coriolanus. But before she could reach him, a voice cut through her path.
“Lucy Gray,” Livia purred, her smile cold and brittle. “Well, well… that dress is actually decent. Almost looks like you belong here.”
Lucy Gray’s spine stiffened, but she forced herself to hold Livia’s gaze. “Thanks, Livia.”
Livia’s smile turned razor-sharp, her eyes gleaming with amusement. “Oh, don’t play coy. We both know why you’re here. You’re here for Coryo, aren’t you?” She tilted her head, eyes gleaming as she delivered the next blow with relish. “It’s adorable, really. But don’t waste your time. Why would he want… this”—she gestured dismissively at Lucy Gray—“when he has me?”
The words cut deep, bringing a wave of doubt and hurt. But Lucy Gray held her head high, remembering Barb Azure’s advice, and brushed past Livia, refusing to let her see the effect. She had more important things to do.
When he spotted her, his eyes widened, and his lips parted as if he’d forgotten how to speak. He took a few steps toward her, visibly stunned. “Lucy Gray… you look… beautiful,” he murmured, the words catching in his throat, and at once, her heart was filled with a million butterflies.
She felt her cheeks burn as her heart pounded, every nerve screaming at her to turn back. But she kept her gaze locked on Coriolanus, her mind running through every shared laugh, every late night, every second she’d spent hiding what she felt. She was here for one reason, and the weight of her secret was too heavy to carry any longer.
“Coryo,” she began, her voice trembling despite her best efforts, “I need to tell you something. Something I should’ve said a long time ago.” Her throat tightened, her words barely more than a whisper. “I love you. I think… I’ve loved you forever. It’s always been you.”
She could see his eyes widen, his face shifting in surprise, but she pressed on, too far gone to stop now. “I tried to fight it. To push it away, to pretend it wasn’t there. I made so many stupid choices, like Billy Taupe, just to prove to myself that you were only a friend. But that was a lie, Coryo. It was never true.” Her voice cracked, her heart raw and exposed. “I was terrified of losing you if… if you didn’t feel the same way. So I told myself I could live with pretending.” She shook her head, a sad smile tugging at her lips. “But I can’t. Not anymore.”
She searched his face, desperate to see some glimmer of understanding, some hint that he felt the same way. Her whole world hung on his reaction, the endless seconds stretching out as he stared at her, stunned, his silence louder than any answer.
Her chest ached, the moment stretching too long, his silence echoing through her mind. Please , she thought, just say something, anything —
And then the emcee’s voice rang through the speakers, shattering the moment into a thousand pieces.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to crown this year’s Prom King and Queen! Please welcome our Prom King, Coriolanus Snow!”
The crowd erupted into cheers as Coriolanus was ushered toward the stage, momentarily casting a bewildered look back at her as he was pulled away. And then, as if it couldn’t get worse, the emcee continued, “And your Prom Queen… Livia Cardew!”
Lucy Gray’s heart dropped as Livia swept onto the stage, her smile as dazzling as the spotlight that bathed her and Coriolanus in golden light. Livia slipped her arm around him, pulling him close, claiming him with that single, possessive touch. Together, they looked like something out of a dream: perfect, untouchable, a vision of everything Lucy Gray wasn’t and never would be. Around them, the crowd chanted their names, a chorus of voices lifting them higher while Lucy Gray stood alone, invisible in the shadows.
And then Livia turned to Coriolanus, her eyes gleaming with triumph, and pulled him into a kiss. Lucy Gray watched as his arms went around her, saw how easily he leaned into it, how natural they looked, like they belonged together, like they’d never belonged anywhere else. The crowd exploded in cheers, but the sound barely registered over the pounding in her ears, over the crack in her heart that seemed to shatter her whole being.
This was it. She’d told him everything, stripped her heart bare, and here he was, wrapped around someone else, oblivious to her, to everything she’d risked to tell him. The bitter sting of humiliation spread through her chest, twisting into a pain so deep it made her breath hitch. How could I have been so stupid? she thought. She had handed him her heart, and he hadn’t even looked back.
She couldn’t watch anymore. She stumbled back, pushing through the crowd as her vision blurred, her chest tight and aching. Outside, the night air bit at her cheeks, but it was nothing compared to the cold settling in her bones, the weight of emptiness pressing down on her. She doubled over, gasping for breath, feeling as if she were shattering from the inside out. She hadn’t known it was possible to hurt like this, to feel so hollow and broken.
Lucy Gray squeezed her eyes shut, but nothing could stop the tears. She’d thought she could be brave, that telling him would finally bring her peace. Instead, it had left her raw, humiliated, and alone in the darkness, her heart in pieces..
Coriolanus shifted uncomfortably in his tux, tugging at the collar that felt more like a noose by the second. The gym was packed, drenched in golden light and glittering decorations, but he barely noticed. All he could think about was how wrong it felt to be here. The music blared, the crowd laughed and danced, but he felt miles away, as if he were on the outside looking in. He’d rather be anywhere else.
He thought of Lucy Gray, of the nights they’d spent dancing in her room, spinning around to songs no one else liked, her laugh filling the air as she teased him about his terrible rhythm. He’d take that over this hollow pageantry in a heartbeat. Being here, with Livia by his side, only reminded him of all the times he’d almost broken things off, of the nights he’d told himself he’d end it. But he hadn’t. He’d let himself get swept along, caught up in her world of flash and glitter. And with each day that passed, he felt further and further from the person he truly wanted to be with.
Lucy Gray. He couldn’t get her out of his head. He thought about telling her so many times, how his feelings for her had grown until they were all he could think about. But he’d held back, terrified of losing her if she didn’t feel the same way. Yet every time she looked at him, he thought he saw something in her eyes, something warm and endless, like she saw him as more than just her friend. But then she’d pull away, talk about her ex, tease him about Livia, like she was reminding him where he belonged, boxing him in as only her friend. And it hurt more than he’d ever admit.
He was staring down at his shoes, lost in thought, when he looked up and felt his heart stutter. Lucy Gray was walking into the room, radiant, like a dream he’d somehow willed into reality. She was wearing a dress like nothing anyone else would’ve dared to wear—a cascade of colors, rich and vibrant, that flowed around her like water. Her hair framed her face in soft waves, and her eyes shone with something he couldn’t name but had felt in himself a thousand times before. She was so beautiful it hurt, and he had to fight the urge to reach out, to touch her just to make sure she was real.
And then, as if reading his thoughts, she came toward him, her eyes steady, her cheeks flushed. She took a breath, and he could see the way her hands trembled, could feel the weight of whatever she was about to say.
“Coryo, I need to tell you something. Something I should have said a long time ago.” She looked at him, her gaze fierce and vulnerable all at once. “I love you. I think… I think I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.”
His heart swelled, warmth flooding through him. He felt like the world had cracked open, like everything he’d ever wanted was right here in front of him. She loved him. Lucy Gray loved him. He wanted to tell her, to pour out every feeling he’d held back, to say that he’d loved her since that first day she’d walked into his life, to hold her and never let go.
But before he could get the words out, he saw her face fall, a flicker of doubt in her eyes. She looked like she was about to speak again, and he could feel the fear in her gaze, as if his silence had been a rejection. He opened his mouth to reassure her, to say the words he’d held in his heart for so long—
And then the emcee’s voice boomed through the speakers. “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to crown this year’s Prom King and Queen! Please welcome our Prom King, Coriolanus Snow!”
He barely had time to process before someone was pulling him toward the stage, the crowd roaring in excitement. He looked back, desperate to see Lucy Gray, but the sea of faces blurred as he was thrust into the spotlight.
The next announcement rang out: “And your Prom Queen… Livia Cardew!”
Livia swept onto the stage, her arm wrapping around him with a triumphant smile as the crowd cheered. He felt hollow, his happiness slipping away like sand through his fingers. Before he could gather his thoughts, Livia turned to him, her eyes bright with possessive pride, and pulled him into a kiss.
As her lips pressed against his, he felt his heart sink. His eyes opened mid-kiss, searching the crowd, and he spotted Lucy Gray standing near the exit, her face pale, her eyes wide with hurt. And then she turned and fled, vanishing through the doors, leaving him aching and hollow.
But he couldn’t shove Livia off. Not here, not in front of everyone. He’d been raised better than that, to be polite, to be a gentleman. He’d have to end things with her, but he wouldn’t humiliate her here, not in front of the entire school, even if every second of her touch made him feel like he was losing Lucy Gray forever.
As the emcee announced the traditional prom king and queen dance, he leaned in to Livia, his voice low but resolute. “Livia… I can’t do this. I can’t be with you anymore. I love someone else.”
Her face fell, shock and anger flashing across her features, but he didn’t wait for a response. He pulled the crown from his head, letting it fall to the floor, and turned, his only thought on Lucy Gray. He had to find her, to tell her everything before it was too late. Without another word, he ran out into the night, chasing the only person who mattered.
Lucy Gray stumbled out into the cool night air, her heart shattered and raw. She hugged herself, as if she could somehow hold the pieces of herself together. Her mind replayed the scene over and over—Coriolanus, up on that stage, wrapped around Livia, the two of them looking perfect together as the crowd cheered. She’d never felt so humiliated, so completely broken. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears to stop, determined to compose herself. She couldn’t believe she’d let herself hope, even for a second.
Just then, she heard hurried footsteps behind her. She turned, her breath catching as she saw Coriolanus rushing out of the building, his face full of something she didn’t dare name. She tried to straighten up, forcing a casual smile, hiding the hurt deep within. “Coryo,” she said, her voice light and brittle. “Shouldn’t you be inside? Your girlfriend will miss you.”
But Coriolanus’s gaze softened, his blue eyes intense. “She’s not my girlfriend anymore,” he said quietly, taking a step toward her. “I’m in love with someone else.”
Her heart stilled, a shiver running through her. She swallowed hard, fighting back the hope that was already rising within her. She searched his face, afraid to believe he meant her. She opened her mouth to say something, to ask, but before she could, he reached out, his hand gently cupping her face, and pulled her in.
The moment his lips touched hers, it was like a spark ignited within her, setting every nerve alight. She felt herself melt into him, years of unspoken longing, fears, and hopes flooding between them in an instant. His hands slipped around her waist, pulling her closer as she wound her arms around his neck, pressing herself against him, pouring everything she’d ever wanted to say into that kiss. Fireworks exploded in her mind, her heart pounding as their lips moved together, soft and urgent, magnetic and electric all at once.
They finally pulled back, breathless, their foreheads resting together, her hands still tangled in his hair. She felt her heart racing, tears gathering in her eyes, but this time, they weren’t tears of hurt or heartbreak. They were tears of happiness, of finally, finally knowing.
“Lucy Gray,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion, “you’ve been my happiness since the day I met you. After I lost my parents, after everything changed, it was you who pulled me out of the darkness. You were my sunshine. I’ve never been as happy as I am when I’m with you. I love you so fucking much.”
Her breath hitched, her eyes searching his, feeling every word sink deep into her heart.
“It hurt so much when you pushed me away,” he continued, his hands tightening around her. “And watching you with Billy Taupe… I was so jealous, I could barely stand it. I wanted to kill him for the way he broke your heart, for taking something so precious from you. I wanted… I wanted to be your first, and I wished you could have been mine.” His gaze softened, full of tenderness and awe. “And when I saw you tonight, when you walked in looking like that… there’s no one who could ever compare. Not in my eyes, not in my heart.”
Lucy Gray felt a sob escape her, a mixture of overwhelming joy and relief, of everything she’d been holding inside for so long. She pulled him down, pressing her lips to his again, her tears slipping between them. She kissed him fiercely, her fingers curling into his hair, as they whispered their love for each other between breaths.
“I love you, Coryo,” she whispered against his lips, over and over, as if she could never say it enough. “I love you, I love you, I love you…”
When they finally made it back to her house, the world a soft blur around them, they curled up together in her bed, their arms wrapped tight around each other. She nestled her head against his shoulder, his fingers tracing gentle patterns along her arm.
She looked up at him, her heart swelling with a new sense of hope and belonging. “We can be each other’s new first,” she whispered softly, a smile on her lips. “We have a million firsts to have together.”
He smiled, brushing a kiss against her forehead, holding her close as they both drifted into a peaceful sleep, content in the knowledge that they’d finally found their way to each other, and that every first they’d been waiting for was only just beginning.