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Once upon a time, a little girl told her she looked like a princess. Isabelle had almost burst out laughing. Because of course Isabelle Lightwood is not a princess, she's a soldier.
She wears her dresses like armor and her makeup like a shield. She's learned that a smile can be a weapon just as deadly as her whip. She pretends to be a heartbreaker to hide her own broken heart. She's done it for so long she can't remember what it was like before. She doesn't know how to stop, how to lift the facade. She can't just let go. Sometimes she remembers it's supposed to be an act and she's sad. Because it's supposed to be an act but it isn't any more. It was so long ago it's hard to recall what it was like when she didn't have to act. When she could be open. When everything she did wasn't carefully calculated to mean something or achieve something. Before she learned that her heart was her castle and she would die defending it. Before she became afraid that maybe she's guarded her heart too well. That maybe she can never go back. That maybe she doesn't want to.
Isabelle Lightwood is not a princess, she's a soldier. And when she meets a tiny redhead with paint on her hands and determination in her eyes, all her instincts scream run. But Isabelle ignores them. Isabelle tries to teach the girl to be a little more like her, to watch out, to guard her heart, but Clary never listens. And Isabelle waits and watches for the consequences. And Isabelle finds them. Because Clary comes crying to her time and time again, and eventually Isabelle has to choose between Clary and Jace and she chooses Jace because you can trust your family but that's it.
Isabelle Lightwood is not a princess, she's a soldier. And years later when she sees Clary again, it gets harder and harder to remember that. It's been long enough that Jace smirks when he sees Clary and Isabelle, discussing wedding plans with Simon. Of course Clary knew about everything, of course she had kept in touch with Simon. She looks at them like a proud sister, happy in their happiness. Isabelle tries to mimic her, much more of a sister than Clary, but she just feels jealous because when will she have that? When will she be able to trust someone like that? Then she feels guilty because of course she's so happy for them, but deep down she still feels like they have something she'll never experience. Isabelle and Clary go around town, Clary fluctuating between "it's so different" and "it's still the same." Clary meets Magnus and Alec's new baby Raphael, and plays with Max. Isabelle watches, and again she's struck by how lucky her brothers are to have people who love them like that. Clary glances up and smiles, and she looks like an angel in the sunlight, and for just a second, Isabelle thinks maybe.
Isabelle Lightwood is not a princess, she's a soldier, but it's getting harder and harder to remember. She recites her rules in her head and she digs her perfectly manicured nails into her palm deep enough to pierce the skin because she needs just this one little piece of control over a life spinning wildly off course. And every time a certain redhead smiles at her, or leans against her, Isabelle can feel her control slipping away.
Isabelle Lightwood is not a princess, she's a soldier, but sometimes she feels like a princess, and that's ok. As she watches Simon and Jace take the final steps of their first dance as a married couple, she feels so happy for them, and so envious that they found something that she will never have. Then Clary tugs on her arm and pulls her, laughing, onto the dance floor. As the two girls whirl around on the floor, Isabelle allows herself to pretend that this is what her life is like, that every day is laughter and flowers and dancing with the girl she loves. And she does love her. Isabelle is resigned to a life of unrequited love and small victories. Eventually it gets to be too much, everything she wants so close, and yet so far away. Clary finds her sobbing in a bathroom, mascara running down her cheeks because it's just not fair. Because why can't Isabelle have just a little bit of the happiness that she's surrounded by?And Clary drunkenly cries with her, and kisses the tears off of her cheeks, and whispers secrets and promises and stories, until the two of them are crying with happiness, instead of despair.
Isabelle Lightwood is a princess and a soldier, and Clary makes sure she never forgets it. And now Isabelle has her happily ever after that she never allowed herself to hope for, but always dreamed of. Isabelle and Clary, Clary and Isabelle. Two princesses who discovered that they didn't need a handsome prince or a knight in shining armor to rescue them, that maybe they could save themselves. That maybe they didn't need rescuing.