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Kei wasn't sure how she'd describe this situation. Was it an once in a lifetime moment? Or...was it going to be a moment of regret she'd carry on her shoulders in this duration of life and maybe in afterlife too.
"Umm... I.. "
Kei glanced at the raven haired girl sitting beside her. Shoulders stiff and voice trembling, which was quite unlikely for the queen of the court, Kageyama Tobio.
She knew what the situation was after all.
"Your majesty, are you gonna talk or should I take my leave?"
And she chose the second option.
Tobio exhaled unsteadily. She turned to her right. Locking eyes to the girl she intended to confess. On this very moment. On the eventful day of their graduation.
"Aren't you being extra rude today?"
Kei clutched the side of her uniform skirt. She's going to regret this for the rest of her life.
"It's not like that, my queen. I have to start packing my bags and have other stuffs to do too. You know."
"Alright. Let's get straight to the point. You... You're... You prefer the same gender. Right?"
"Hmm? ... Well if what I think you're asking is right. Then yes. I do prefer the same gender as my romantic interest. And I believe everyone from our team knew about it."
If it was someone else in this situation instead of Tobio, Kei would've ended the conversation even before it started.
Tobio exhaled again. "Right. M-me too. No- I mean I-"
Tobio averted her eyes from Kei. This was harder than she had thought it would be. However, time was running out, and life will be increasingly hectic from then on.
And she wanted to do this right then and there. She needed to do this. No matter what the aftermath was.
She casted another look at Kei's direction. Her eyes as determined as they always were when she's in the court.
"It's you. I-I like you. Tsukishima. R-romantically that is."
Kei took a breathe. Then swallowed back a lump in her throat. Here goes nothing.
"Well... I knew it already. Quite bold of you to say it out loud to me... And cliche. I must say." Kei scoffed. Her expressions turned into that of a miscreant, like the first time they had met.
Tobio blinked few times. This was...not the reply she imagined. It's quite different. She still kept her ground though. Not averting her eyes from the girl yet.
"If you're done with your confession, then should I take my leave, your majesty? You see, I'm in a bit of a hurry after all."
Kei wondered, how long those eyes were going to look at her. Maybe just a little bit longer. However, the longer it gets, more torturous it was gonna be.
"H-huh? Umm.. You don't have anything else to say?"
"Does her majesty want me to say something?"
Tobio slumped in exhaustion. She knew the answer by then. She still didn't take her eyes from that girl though.
"Y-your answer?"
Kei thought for a second. Her overworking brain did it's job and in the end, she opted for the second option anyways.
"What answer do you expect me to say?
... I did say that I like women but... Really Kageyama, do you think you have a chance?Despite being a girl, tell me one basic quality you have of a girl?"
Though Kei's voice was steady, she could feel her entire being was aflamed with the words she was spilling from her mouth.
Words after words that left her mouth, became the cause of the droplets of tears that formed in those blue eyes. And Kei thought even the seventh hell wasn't enough for the punishment that she deserved.
"I- "
Tobio kept her vision straight, yet she couldn't see Kei anymore. Her whole world became blurry.
She knew that Kei can say the most hurtful things in the most calmest voice, as if it's nothing... As if she didn't apprehend that she had just spoken the words Tobio dreaded most in her life.
Tobio breathed out once again. Being an athlete, she never thought that just admitting her feelings to someone would cause her struggling to breathe. That was quite concerning.
"I like pretty girls your majesty. Not someone as unfeminine as you."
And those tears that left Tobio's eyes, Kei intended to atone for that, for the rest of her life.
"I see. I got it." Tobio closed her eyes. She knew she wouldn't be able to look at Kei, ever again.
Tobio felt conscious of her entire being in a sudden. She bit her lower lip deliberately. It felt raw. Moreover the band of the skirt on her waist felt too tight. And her exposed neck caused by her shortened hair, felt cold in this chilly weather.
Tobio wondered if she should just go home. But Hinata was waiting for her in the gym.
"Then I should take my leave." Kei wanted those eyes to look at her, just a tad more. However, Kei didn't deserve it at all.
So she took her leave.
And for the next seven years, Tobio had never looked at her. Ever again. With those eyes that Kei had adored for a long, long time.
Nonetheless, Kei had preserved her feelings in her heart, over the course of seven years.
Kei had found herself in that same scenario once again. In a reversed way that is. Or so she thought.
Because really, how could Tobio still love her, when Kei had purposefully turned her down in the most possibly painful way she could. So that those eyes won't look at her anymore.
However, this time the situation was quite different from the previous one. This time none of them were 18 anymore. They had learned to face their fear.
Kei had learned that, falling in love with the same gender was not as fearful as she had thought. She wasn't removed from her family when she decided to let them know about her preference. Most of all, Tadashi almost threw her away from the rooftop, when she got to know that Kei had rejected Tobio.
Kei came to terms with the fact that she had the freedom to love Tobio, as much as she could. Indeed, she had the luxury to keep loving her for the remainder of her days too.
Once again Tobio was sitting beside her.
This time, not on the rooftop floor anymore. It was Tadashi and Hitoka, two of their best friend's house warming party and the other three of them decided to spend the night at their home. And the couch that they were sitting on, was comfortable enough for Kei to make a confession.
Tobio's wearing a black ribbed knit turtleneck. Her hair looked quite untamed unlike the past, yet smooth as always. Pulled back on a tiny ponytail on the nape of her neck. Bangs parted on the middle.
Kei didn't know, it was possible for her to get prettier on an ongoing basis. She can't believe she once rejected her, even though it was the hardest thing Kei had ever done in her life.
"I like you. You're majesty."
Kei wondered if she would look at Kei again. With those eyes that Kei had adored all these years, all of her life.
Tobio did. She looked at Kei, with each passing seconds, fresh droplets of tears began to gather in her eyes once again. However, Kei felt like she could breathe again.
"H-huh?"
"I said I-"
"I heard you." Tobio swallowed hard. She clutched the cushion that was in her lap. For a support.
"What do you mean, you like me?" This time though, Tobio refused to cry. But she was unsuccessful as always. She wondered, why she always breaks down in front of Kei. Crying was never something she dId often. But Kei always had a way to make her cry.
Kei turned toward Tobio and breathed out slowly. She has been trying to make amends to her mistakes that she did seven years ago. After Tobio came back from Rome. Maybe she doesn't deserve a chance. But trying was better than doing nothing.
Kei was relived that she was wearing an oversized sweatshirt right then. Fitting clothes would've made her more nervous.
"It means I have feelings for you. Romantic feelings that is."
"Why?" Why now. Tobio's lips trembled.
"Am I pretty enough now? More feminine?"
Tobio thought the turtleneck wasn't enough to cover her neck, she could feel the cold creeping through her clothes. Every cell in her body felt an icy chill, all of a sudden. The tips of her fingers started to feel numb. She felt like she would faint.
Kei wondered how she could possibly make Tobio understand. Tadashi had told her that, Kei should say exactly what she was feeling once in a while. Even if it's only to Tobio, she can do it.
"You're majesty... You've always been a far fetched dream for me. And the prettiest girl I've ever seen. And look at me. I'm just a commoner."
"I-If that's what you feel about me, then back then why did you-"
Kei looked down. Explaining her conflicting emotions was really challenging for her. She contemplated the possibilities of what could be Tobio's reaction if she told her all about her emotions.
Tobio positioned herself directly toward Kei.
"You don't have to explain everything. I-it's just...after you turned me down like that, how can I understand that you're being honest. Though it's been a long time."
Kei kept quiet. She had nothing left to answer anymore. Showing her vulnerability was the last thing Kei wanted to do.
"I don't know. I don't have anything to say anymore."
A heavy silence enveloped the room, as Kei sanked down in front of Tobio.
Kei was off guard, when she felt a chilling hand on her cheek, wiping away the tears she didn't realize she had shed.
"Don't cry..." Tobio shook her head.
Kei slowly took the hand that Tobio had touched her with. She kissed on the back of her hand tenderly. Gentle, fluttering kisses were the only thing that she could offer to Tobio, to let her know how much Kei had adored her throughout her life.
"It's been 10 years, your majesty. I've been loving you for more than a decade. And yet, I feel like I don't deserve your love."
"I do love you though. A lot."
Tobio looked down. She wasn't crying anymore. Never in her life had she ever imagined that her feelings would be reciprocated.
"Alright now? Stop crying. I don't like to see you cry. It makes me feel bad." Tobio pouted as she brushed away the tears from Kei's cheeks.
A gentle smile formed on Kei's lips.
She took both of Tobio's hands to her lips. Gently kissed the inside of her wrists, where her lifeline flowed.
"Marry me?"
"W-What?!"
"Will you marry me, you're majesty?"
"We didn't even start dating! Why are you asking me to marry you already?!"
"I don't want to wait anymore. Kei smiled cheekily, which the 18-years-old Tsukishima Kei would never had attempted."
"I-idiot! Stop joking around."
"I'm not though." Kei made a serious face, as she kissed the fourth finger of Tobio's left hand.
"Then my answer is a no". Tobio rolled her eyes, as she rejected Kei. Retreating her hands to herself.
"And what can I do for her majesty to say yes to me?"
"I don't know... M-maybe take me on a date first."
Tobio felt her face flush from embarrassment.
"Alright. And then?"
"Then... I don't know!!" Tobio kicked her in utter abashment.
"Gosh come here.."
.
.
.
"Sigh.... And they lived happily ever after." Tadashi chuckled, as she ruffled Shouyo and Hitoka's hair. While they still kept peeping on the new couple of their group.
"Yuck. They're being so disgusting." Shouyo made gagging noise. While Hitoka couldn't stop crying. He kept sniffing and wiping his own tears away.
"Guys, leave them alone now." Tadashi shook her head in fondness.