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Rin jolted awake at some point during the night with tears running down his face. It was still dark outside, and the thunder filled up the silence in the bedroom. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest as his eyes darted around the dark room, remnants of the nightmare still clinging to him. It was always the same; water closing in, seeing his dad go under and Rin struggling to save him. But this time he saw Rei there.
Out of habit, Rin turned next to him and reached out to the other side of the bed searching for some sort of warmth and comfort of the boy next to him.
"Rei...?" He whispered as his hands were only met with the familiar cold and empty space next to him. Rin's breath hitched as reality started to flood into his mind. Rei wasn't there, and he hadn't been for a long time now.
A new wave of tears formed in Rin's eyes as he clenched his fists around the sheets where Rei would lay. It had been over a month since Rei passed away, but in these moments he would forget he wasn't there. He would reach out, expecting to find Rei's presence there, just like he always used to. But he just stared at the empty spot beside him, still hoping he was just in another nightmare and he would just wake up from it.
His mind drifted back to the way Rei used to be there for him during nights like this. When the nightmares came worse than this, Rei had been the one to hold him close and to remind him that he wasn't alone. The way his fingers would stroke Rin's arms, and the way he would whisper to him, calming Rin's mind. But now, all that Rin was surrounded with was the cold darkness of the night. In some way, he could still feel Rei's presence next to him, like he was trying to let Rin know he was ok and was comforting him. Rin closed his eyes and smiled as he kept the image of Rei holding him in his mind, a tear slipping down his cheek as this was the only way he could remember the way Rei felt.
He knew he would start to forget the way Rei felt, and even sounded, and he knew he wouldn't be coming back, so as he kept his eyes closed, he would continue imagining the boy sleeping next to him before he started to forget him.
Rei's scent was already disappearing off of his clothes. Rin wasn't sure if it was because he kept wearing them, or they just faded over time, but it just didn't feel the same to him. And his voice. Rin could still hear Rei's voice echoing through his mind as he would think about the times they were together. Luckily, Rin had a few videos on his phone that he took of Rei so he would still be able to see and hear him. It wasn't the same as in person, but it was the only way he could remember him.
Rin picked up his phone and his lock screen, the picture that Rei took of the two, stood out in the darkness. It was a picture Rei took on Rin's birthday a few months ago. Rin was cuddled up beside Rei, with his head leaning on his shoulder. They were both smiling at the camera. The last photo they both took together a month before Rei passed away.
Rin looked up to check the time. It was almost 4 am. He rolled back onto the bed, letting out a shaky breath as he tried to calm himself down. The memories hurt, but he clung to them not wanting them to slip away. He took one look at the red pair of glasses he had on the nightstand before closing his eyes, still imagining the nightmare that had woken him, but he tried to ignore it as he started to drift back off to sleep, slightly feeling a warm arm wrap around him as if Rei was there to keep him safe, and the sound of the thunder finally dying away in the night.