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Ermes always had to make a joke about everything.
One joke she had made ended up biting her in the ass in the long run.
Early on in their friendship, she and Mayume had a long talk about their shared sexuality after she’d made some sort of a comment about Mayume’s boyfriend back at home. After cutting her off and stating that she didn’t like boys, they ended up confessing to each other that they both were in fact lesbians. That talk lasted hours as the two of them shared their experiences; Mayume had recently gotten out of her first whirlwind romance (if you could even call it that) right before she had been on TV. Meanwhile, Ermes had had a few short lived flings over the past few years, but nothing had ever been serious. She wouldn’t allow her to let anyone in like that.
At some point in the night, she had said something along the lines of “Just because we’re both lesbians doesn’t mean that we’re gonna date!”
She remembered vividly how red Mayume’s cheeks had turned and how quickly she averted her gaze to the side, blabbering that she didn’t see her that way.
… Well.
Ermes soon regretted ever making that comment, because she ended up slowly falling for Mayume as the months went by.
The last thing she needed to do was to develop a crush on somebody in this hell hole, and now here she was, silently pining over her cellmate.
Well. This is just fucking great.
This was absolutely not in the plan whatsoever. Never in a million years did she think that this would’ve happened. It had been so long since she’d felt these kinds of shy, fluttery feelings.
Ermes came in here with a mission in mind. She never once expected that she would’ve ended up in this situation; she couldn’t get the thought of it out of her head.
She couldn’t get Mayume out of her head.
She was adorable in Ermes’ eyes; she had beautiful silver curls, the prettiest green eyes, the cutest little dimples whenever she’d smile…
She’d catch herself staring at Mayume’s lips for too long whenever she’d put on chapstick or whenever she’d play with her lip rings with her tongue… Sometimes she’d noticed that she was looking at Mayume’s hands for too long whenever she would play on the piano in the music room or when she was braiding her hair in the morning.
Maybe she’d taken a few long glances at the way that leotard accentuates her body…
Get your head out the gutter.
Did she ever notice when she stared at her a little too long?
Mayume’s physical appearance wasn’t the only reason Ermes liked her so much either.
After being alone and closing herself off for so many years, she wasn’t used to someone genuinely caring about her so much. Back then, she’d go out and have some late night fun, but she’d leave it at that. Just get up and go home afterwards.
She’d never emotionally expose herself to someone, she couldn’t let herself.
Their late night debriefings played a big part of Mayume being able to slowly inch herself into Ermes’ heart. Mayume always listened to her and really cared about what she had to say, even if it was stupid shit or prison yard gossip. She was very candid with her, and would seek Ermes’ opinion on things for guidance. Despite being polar opposites, they had lots of common ground and got along amazingly somehow. She was very musically talented, having accidentally trained Ermes to fall asleep to her humming late at night. Ermes could joke around with her; she tolerated her endless teasing, and had even begun to jab back recently. It was nice to see her slowly come out of her shell and mature as the months passed. When she first met Mayume, she had hidden herself in a corner of their jail cell for over a week.
She had no idea how, but Mayume managed to sneak off with a piece of her heart.
Ermes didn’t know how to deal with it.
Honestly… despite refusing to admit it, she was scared. She was scared to let herself be honest with Mayume, and it felt so out of character. She was always so blunt and sharp-tongued, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell her how she felt. She didn’t like talking about her feelings, and didn’t want to risk the thought of somehow hurting her. Mayume was glass to her, and she refused to touch her— she was scared she’d somehow shatter into a million pieces.
She had a hunch that Mayume may have felt the same way.
No, she was sure that she felt the same. She felt like she was being cocky and arrogant thinking that, but Ermes knew that she was pretty good at reading people. And she knew she could read Mayume like the Sunday newspaper.
She knew Mayume was very kind and caring, showing a sort of sisterly love with Foo Fighters and a role model-like admiration towards Jolyne. Something between their relationship was different. Whatever they had going on was something… deeper. She’d notice the way Mayume would look at her, how she’d sometimes hide her notebook whenever it was time for Lights Out. What was she writing in there? Love songs? Written confessions? She definitely noticed the way NSYNC would look at KISS, all giddy. She knew Mayume and NSYNC well enough to know that their feelings were synchronized; if NSYNC was willing to act all lovey dovey around KISS, how did Mayume truly feel towards her on the inside?
Ermes frankly didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know if she should say something. Try her best to ignore these types of feelings like she typically did.
Damn. Feeling butterflies in her stomach was annoying as hell.
She’d sit on it for now.
—
Mayume made it really hard for Ermes to try and ignore her feelings like she had planned to. She really was shoving them in her face tonight.
Tonight had been like any other Lights Out. They had gotten into their commissary candy stash, sitting next to each other against the wall on Mayume’s bunk as they chatted the night away. They talked about their usual topics: how the search for Whitesnake was going, gossiping about other prisoners, giggling amongst each other about any silly things that happened between them and their other comrades.
After they ran out of information to share, it was normal for them to continue to quietly hang out together on the bunk— tonight, they opted to watch some trashy reality show on Mayume’s television together. They didn’t need to talk to keep each other entertained.
It was a typical Tuesday night for the two of them.
What wasn’t typical was the sensation of Mayume slowly leaning closer and closer towards Ermes, until their shoulders touched.
Ermes’ eyes grew wide, her cheeks annoyingly turning red. She couldn’t see Mayume’s face from the corner of her eye; her bouncy bangs were blocking the view.
“Mayume?”
No response. She grabbed the remote from the bed, muting the TV.
A light snore rumbled through the air.
She remembered that Mayume had complained this morning that she didn’t sleep well the night before when they were eating breakfast… Poor thing was probably exhausted.
Ermes had no idea what to do. She didn’t want to disturb her, but it was still early enough for her to get away so her sleep wasn’t interrupted too badly.
But… this was so nice… Mayume trusted her enough to lean on her and fall asleep—
Don’t get so far ahead of yourself, Costello. She just fell asleep on you, this doesn’t mean anything.
Regardless, Ermes couldn’t stop her lips from curling as she admired Mayume’s sleeping form.
She was too cute.
She winced, considering her options. She decided the latter was better; that way her sleep wasn’t completely ruined. Now that she thought about it, she wasn’t sure if Mayume was a light or heavy sleeper; she always fell asleep before Mayume did.
Painstakingly, Ermes slowly scooted herself away from Mayume, trying her damnedest not to wake her. Her body continued to droop against Ermes’ arm as she gently coaxed her down to the bed.
As soon as Mayume made contact with the bed, Ermes felt her hand wrap around her wrist.
SHIT.
”Mayume?” She hurriedly whispered.
Mayume groggily lifted her head, cracking an eye open.
”E-Ermes…?”
”Hey,” Ermes uncharacteristically whispered. “You fell asleep. Sorry I woke you up. I’m gonna go—”
”Don’t leave… just stay with me for the night…”
WHAT.
Her eyes shot wide open.
”Mayume, you need to go to sleep. There’s not enough space for the both of us.”
Wait a second, you just implied you’re okay with sleeping with her. Shit, that was NOT what I meant—
”Please…? We can share…”
God, Ermes could not resist that sweet face.
She couldn’t say no…
”… Okay. Fine.”
Ermes clicked the TV off and slid herself into the cramped bunk bed, tossing the thin blanket over the both of them.
Before she could even adjust herself to give Mayume some space, she immediately snuggled her whole body against Ermes’.
As Mayume dug her arms into her chest, she tucked the crown of her head underneath Ermes’ chin.
Ermes could feel her warm breath against the fabric across her collarbone, the snoring immediately resuming.
An alert and conscious Mayume would’ve never let herself be so bold to just cuddle up to Ermes like this.
Sleepy Mayume however… She needed a cuddle buddy. And Ermes made a fantastic heater.
As Ermes’ heartbeat thumped faster and faster against her chest, Mayume was lulled into a deeper sleep.
Ermes’ heart nearly shat its pants.
She was trying so damn hard not to put hopeful ideas in her mind, but…
Mayume felt safe enough around her to just cuddle up to her.
Ermes typically didn’t know the concept of personal space. There were times when she would give Mayume the occasional noogie, they’d dance around their cell together or set her chin on Mayume’s shoulder whenever she was hunched over their shared desk scribbling away, but…
This was different.
This was one of the most vulnerable positions someone could be in. And Mayume knew to keep her guard up in this place, especially since she could be an easy target for the other prisoners for her size and her infamy on the outside.
So for Mayume to trust her this much and allow herself to be in this bed with her… it was so hard not to enjoy the moment. Mayume felt safe around her.
God… the warmth of her body was so nice. She felt like a mug of hot chocolate on a chilly November day. Ermes wanted to drink this moment up.
She was terrified about her next few actions, unsure if this would wake her up.
She delicately wrapped her arm around Mayume’s body, her hand settling on the small of her back. She couldn’t help but nuzzle her nose into the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.
Coconut.
Ermes felt like she was finally allowed to hold the glass ornament she refused to even look at, fearing it would shatter with just a glance.
She gauged for a reaction.
All Mayume did was snuggle closer to her, her nose making contact with her collarbone. Ermes copied her movements, gently bringing her closer to her chest.
She didn’t want to let go. She was scared that Mayume would disintegrate if she did. She had a need to protect the things that matter, and Mayume was one of them.
A deep breath shook Ermes’ ribcage.
Her heart thundered in her chest, the thumps loudly echoing in her ears.
She never realized how touch starved she was.
Ermes was so head over heels.
This was both a blessing and a curse.
…. No.
She was going to take this as a blessing. She was going to allow herself to enjoy this.
She closed her eyes.
She was unsure of what the morning would bring, but she was going to allow herself to enjoy this. Romantically or platonically, she didn’t care.
She liked this. She liked Mayume.
Oh god, did she like Mayume.
—
The first beam of light shone through the bars of the cell. Mayume yawned, eyes slowly fluttering open at the first sign of morning. When she tried to stretch, she realized she had arms tightly wrapped around her. Her legs were tangled up with someone else’s.
Her eyes shot wide, noting she was face to face with orange fabric. She looked up as best as she could, her cheeks burning as she realized who was in bed with her.
There was Ermes, dead asleep. In the same bed with her. Holding her.
Huh.
Mayume held her breath, terrified of waking her up.
What… happened last night?
The last thing she could remember was watching TV with her, she didn’t even remember falling asleep…
Wait…
Mayume remembered now. She had asked for Ermes to stay with her.
She remembered the way Ermes’ heart thumped in her chest. That’s what finished lulling her back to dreamland.
Could that mean…?
No… don’t get excited. She was probably nervous to wake me up… I know I would’ve been too. Waking a sleeping bear is horrible.
Her face wanted to melt off and her ears burned out of embarrassment, but a little part of her couldn’t help but be a liiittle giddy.
She felt… so safe in her arms. She felt like two interlocked puzzle pieces, like this was meant to happen.
But… Mayume felt guilty. Like she felt like she forced Ermes to do something she didn’t want to do. But Ermes had the choice to push her away, and she didn’t. She got into bed with her and now she was wrapped around her like a koala.
This felt so nice… Ermes looked so peaceful in her sleep. She deserved some rest.
She’s so beautiful.
Before she could ponder anymore about the situation, Ermes began stirring. Letting go of Mayume, she stretched as she loudly yawned. Smacking her lips, she cracked an eye open.
“Hey,” she groggily greeted.
”Hi. Good morning,” Mayume whispered, trying her damn hardest to stay cool. “Did you sleep okay?”
Ermes nodded, continuing to stretch before patting Mayume’s head. “Absolutely. You?”
Mayume couldn’t control her blush as she felt Ermes’ hand caress the crown of her scalp.
”… Yeah.”
She didn’t know if she wanted to immediately jump out of bed or if she wanted to continue to lay there with her and savor the moment.
Her thought process was interrupted with the sound of their jail cell unlocking, the commotion of prisoners starting to flock towards the cafeteria for breakfast ringing through the air.
Thankfully, Ermes made the choice for her.
”Wanna grab some grub?”
”Yeah,” she answered a bit too quickly. “Let me braid my hair and then we can go?”
”Sounds good.”
—
Neither of them talked about their sleeping situation, and continued their day as usual: meeting up with Jolyne and FF for breakfast, and then hanging out in the ghost room with Emporio and the others. Mayume distracted herself by playing a few tunes on the piano, as Ermes intently watched from a distance.
Mayume’s mind was a war zone.
She remembered the sexuality conversation she had had with Ermes a few months back. She vividly remembered how she stated that she didn’t see Ermes in a romantic way after she had made a joke about them dating.
Mayume was a huge liar.
Why?
Because even back then, she had been harboring the tiniest crush on her. Over the course of the past few months, her feelings for Ermes had only become stronger and stronger.
She and Ermes met in quite the whirlwind; they had barely spoken a sentence to each other when Ermes was whisked away to the infirmary with a fever and came back to their cell with a stand. After teaching her about NSYNC’s true nature, Ermes recruited her to the rescue crusade that was retrieving Mr. Jotaro’s disc with Jolyne.
Ermes had originally intimidated Mayume, but as they got to know each other better, she came to respect her and consider her a good friend. She loved her kindness and determination, and thought she was hilarious. She was extremely attentive to those she favored, and always checked up on her friends when she noticed they looked down. There were a few moments in which she could be a little overbearing at times, a bit too rowdy or too much of a tease, but Mayume figured out how to roll with her punches and counter back when needed. She knew Ermes got a kick out of getting a reaction out of her, but she knew it was all in good spirits.
Ermes always had her back, and had taught her how to bite back towards those who opposed them. Mayume wished she had at least an ounce of the amount of strength that she did; whenever she was around, she knew she was in safe hands.
Mayume was so glad that she managed to find someone she could trust in this place. She’d planned to lock herself in their cell until her jail sentence ended when she was 22, but Ermes managed to coax her out of her shell.
She didn’t remember when the crush started, but Mayume soon realized throughout their interactions that she was starting to pine for her. She realized this crush was serious when she noticed herself writing love songs in her beloved notebook late at night, as the thought of Ermes infiltrated her mind as she scribbled nonstop in her journal.
Whenever she was with Ermes, it felt like being at home with her.
She wanted to be close to her, both physically and emotionally.
She loved Ermes’ grin, and the way her face would scrunch up whenever she’d have a laughing fit. Her laughter was music to Mayume’s ears, feeling the reverb from her chuckles in her chest due to NSYNC’s sound manipulation ability amplifying her hearing.
The sound of Ermes’ heartbeat from last night sounded like the world’s best lullaby.
She wondered how Ermes’ hand would feel in hers. She wondered if Ermes would ever allow her to hug her.
She liked seeing the way her muscles flexed whenever they’d work out together, wondering how they’d feel wrapped around her… She finally knew. She felt like she’d been wrapped in a warm blanket.
Stop.
These feelings scared her.
She was terrified. What would happen if she told her how she felt?
Would she destroy their friendship? And make it extremely awkward since they were trapped in the same jail cell for the next three years?
She grimaced as she continued pressing piano keys, feeling Ermes’ gaze burn holes into her.
She really couldn’t get the sound of Ermes’ heartbeat out of her chest though… could there be a glimmer of hope? Was it out of excitement, or was it just nervousness from trying to not wake her up? Could there be a possibility that Ermes felt the same? Or was she being serious about not dating?
She didn’t know. Sometimes she couldn’t tell from Ermes’ tone if she was serious or was joking.
She thought about advice her dad had given her in the past.
You’ll never know what you’ll happen if you don’t take the leap. Don’t hesitate and lose your chance, you’ll get back up if you fall down.
She needed to get this off her chest. It would hurt more in the long run if she kept it bottled up inside.
Everything would be okay. They’d work through it.
Time to rip off the bandaid.
She’d talk to her that night.
—
Today had ended up being a casual day for the gang, so Mayume had ended up retreating back to their cell earlier than Ermes did.
As the alarm for Lights Out rang out throughout the prison, Mayume fidgeted with her pencil at her desk, staring at her lovestruck rambling in her journal.
We’re doing this. We’re not backing out, we have to be honest, she repeated to herself, fear bubbling in her stomach as she anxiously awaited for Ermes to arrive.
The baby hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she heard Ermes’ voice stand out amongst the rest of the excited chatter from the other prisoners, making her appearance with the rest of their friends. After the quartet bid each other good night, Ermes and Mayume waved Jolyne and FF off. Mayume flipped to a fresh page in her journal as she felt Ermes’ presence approach her, feigning that she was starting her nightly journal entry.
She felt Ermes’ palm pat her shoulder, greeting her.
”Hey.”
”Hi.” She raised her head, smiling at Ermes. “Good to see you.”
”Yeah, you too.” She smiled back as she slid her hand off of her shoulder. She quickly separated herself from Mayume and turned away, beginning to strip her clothes for bedtime.
Mayume grimaced, the adrenaline starting to take over.
“Hey…”
”Yeah?” Ermes inquired as she tossed her pants in their laundry hamper next to the desk. “Something on your mind?”
”… Yeah. Do you mind if we talk?”
Ermes’ stomach dropped a bit, unsure of Mayume’s tone.
”Never. What’s up?”
Mayume gaped, her lips drying up as she prepared herself.
Don’t beat around the bush, just go for it. Straight to the point, Mayume.
“… You remember the conversation we had about being lesbians, right?”
“… Yes.”
Oh my god. What are you going to say, Mayume? Ermes questioned.
“And… there was a comment you made, about the two of us dating. Just because we’re both lesbians, doesn’t mean we’re going to date,” She quoted word for word.
Ermes held her breath.
Mayume felt a rumble in her chest, and a quiver in her lip.
”… Were you serious?” She whispered.
Ermes felt all of the blood drain out of her face.
Is this seriously happening?
”Mayume…”
“Ermes…” Mayume’s face scrunched up, a sniffle escaping her nose. She braced for all the word salad that was about to pour out of her.
“You probably remember my answer, then. That I didn’t think of you that way…” She averted her gaze, unable to look at Ermes in the eye.
“Ermes, I lied. I know…” She sighed. “I know it’s awkward because of the situation we’re in, and… I hate that I feel like this, because I’m scared this is going to change things between the two of us for the worse, and even right now I’m beating around the bush.“
Mayume straightened herself out, sucking in air before finally staring directly at Ermes.
“I have to say it. I need to get it off my chest because if not, I’ll bottle it up to the point where I’ll explode. Ermes, I have a crush on you. I’ve had a crush on you, and I hate it because you probably don’t feel the same and this is going to ruin our friendship and that’s the last thing I want to do, because I care about you so much.”
Ermes’ heart shattered as it did a backflip in her chest, her eyes widening as the gravity of Mayume’s words dawned upon her.
Ermes, I have a crush on you.
Ermes, I have a crush on you.
Never in a million years did she think that sweet, nervous Mayume would ever say these words to her, that she would confirm to Ermes that she felt this way too. It would’ve felt like a “Haha, gotcha! I’m just kidding!” moment if she didn’t seem so upset, but she knew Mayume. She would never toy with her feelings like that; she was way too kind to do that to her. But this still felt… so unreal, that she just blurted her feelings out like this. But she knew this was real, and her heart was breaking watching her face contort in anguish. Mayume couldn’t even pick what she wanted to eat whenever they were in the lunch line, and she made the huge decision to tell her that she liked her.
I hate it because you probably don’t feel the same.
She never thought that she’d think that Ermes didn’t return those feelings. Did she really seem that heartless? Or was that her anxiety lying to her?
The silence terrified Mayume.
“… Ermes?”
“Mayume…”
”I ruined it, didn’t I? I knew it, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m so sorry, Ermes…”
Ermes’ heart dropped into her stomach as she hopelessly watched Mayume’s face scrunch up, tears already running down her cheeks as she suppressed a sob. She knew that when Mayume’s emotions started boiling over, the faucet in her eyes wouldn’t stop leaking.
She leapt into action, pulling Mayume into her arms. She quickly shushed her, trying to calm her beloved’s weeping as she cradled her head against her chest.
”Hey, hey! Don’t be assuming the worst! You didn’t even let me say anything, and here you are putting words in my mouth and crying, kid.” Ermes whispered as she looked down at Mayume. “Will you let me say my piece before freaking out on me?”
Mayume pulled herself back, rubbing at her eyes as she tried to calm her breathing.
”You were always the biggest crybaby,” Ermes chuckled.
”S-shut up.”
”But if I do, then I can’t tell you how I feel, huh?” She teased.
Mayume gaped at Ermes, bewildered by her choice of words. She cocked an eyebrow; a glimmer of hope was in her eye that wasn’t there ten seconds ago.
”Ermes…?”
Ermes couldn’t believe this.
She was going to tell her the truth.
Where's your honesty, Costello? You’re so good at telling the truth, why are you holding back? She just told you straight to your face she likes you after doubting it this entire time.
She sighed as she looked off to the side, trying to come up with the words she wanted to say. Her rationality was kicking her in the shins as she reminded herself why she was ultimately here for, but…
Her heart was winning this battle. She couldn’t lose this opportunity. She couldn’t lose Mayume.
”Mayume…”
“Mayu.”
Ermes’ eyes widened. She knew damn well that “Mayu” was reserved for her loved ones; she remembered many times where she’d complained about strangers calling her by her nickname.
Ermes felt like she had just gotten knighted.
”… Mayu. I… never expected you’d be the one to say something. But then again, I don’t know if I ever would’ve admitted it to you. There was something in me that knew that you liked me too, but I always felt like I was being so cocky about it. I don’t think I would’ve ever had the balls to tell you first.”
Ermes looked back at Mayu, cackling at how her jaw dropped and how red her face had become.
”Ermes. Are you serious?”
”… Yeah. I always kicked myself for telling you that, about not dating because… you managed to wiggle your little sparkly self into my heart. But to answer your question from earlier: no, I wasn’t serious when I said that. And to reiterate that statement to you…”
Mayu’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as she watched Ermes close the distance between them, leaving a green kiss mark against her forehead.
”I like you too, Mayu.”
Mayu stared at Ermes wide eyed, feeling a weight being lifted off her shoulders.
”You’re not kidding?” She asked incredulously.
”Nope. I wouldn’t have done that if I was.”
Mayu looked up. Looked down. Looked right at Ermes’ lips, noticing her lipstick was smudged.
She couldn’t control her grin, giggling as she realized Ermes’ lips were imprinted on her skin. She couldn’t stop herself from pulling Ermes close to her, digging her cheek into her chest.
There was that familiar heartbeat thumping against her ribcage again, the one that comforted her to sleep the night before.
Ermes laughed as she patted the small of Mayu’s back. A wave of relief washed over her as she felt the tension between them dissipated.
She was curious to what the future would hold between the two of them.
She was definitely looking forward to their first date.
… whatever that may be, seeing that they had a bit of a limited selection. It made her all the more curious.
“Hey Ermes… can I ask you one last thing?”
“Anything.”
“… can I have another kiss?”
Ermes smiled.
The two of them lovingly gazed at the other as their faces slowly inched together.
They savored their first taste of each other as their lips connected for the first time.