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“You’ve noticed it too?”
He didn’t answer immediately since he didn’t know what she was talking about. Right now, all he cared for was the paperwork in his hand, the lives of the shadow elves, and the reparations to the forest. He looked at her for a split second, insinuating that she could proceed with her question, and though she didn’t enjoy feeling as if she needed permission, so she did.
“The two of them keep going through much effort to trick us into these situations.” Aria told him, and he didn’t give much of a reaction, he barely cared enough to blink in understanding. “I expect such foolish actions from Ran… But I don’t enjoy seeing my sister pursue such a fruitless endeavour.”
Zahhak flipped the page, underlining a sentence for later before putting it down, knowing that Aria couldn’t function at her best while distracted. “Regardless of their input, I already chose to make amends and offer my help here.” He told her, and he could see it wasn’t enough. “If they have time to fool around, then that means they no longer feel anxious about tomorrow and everything that comes next. As a leader, that should give you some relief.”
“What would you know about being a leader?” Aria frowned.
“Nothing at all.” Zahhak answered point blank. “Though all the leaders I’ve encountered thus far made a habit of coming to me for advice. I’ve always left it up to them whether they heed as I say.”
“And look where they all ended up.” Aria retorted. “You’re just an omen for bad luck. Nothing more.” She noticed he fell quiet upon hearing that, and now she couldn’t bring herself to look, or even feel victorious for making that comment. She chose to bite her tongue, quietly.
“There’s no need to apologise for making a statement we both agree on.” Zahhak replied. He didn’t seem hurt… “I’m to blame for nearly forgetting what happened the last time I tried to give a suggestion to you.”
“You were a fool for what you’ve done, that is true.” Aria stepped closer to him, lowering her tone. She really didn’t want anyone else to listen in. “However, we both committed the same sin… I carry the same blame, to an extent.”
Zahhak exhaled quietly, almost letting it form into a laugh. “What sparked that confession?” He asked, genuinely curious. “Nobody holds you accountable aside from yourself. Letting me carry all the blame for you is the least I can do at this point.”
“It would be shameful considering that I’m older. You were young and oh so arrogant, I should’ve known better than to let your ego take the best of you.” Aria sighed. “I had a moment of weakness and you took advantage of it… Yes, you paved your own path to hell with your good intentions, however I gave you the freedom to do so.”
“Only because I knew you would cooperate after losing your father and uncle in quick succession. If there was any doubt, I’d have found another way to deal with…” Zahhak swallowed his breath and apologised under his breath. He averted his gaze from her and thought it better to continue the paperwork, so he reached for it, but quickly found Aria slamming her hand down on the desk.
“I think there’s a misunderstanding here.” She frowned upon him. “You greatly overestimate your influence over me, Zahhak. I’m neither Ran who follows you around like a puppy or Amid who would go along with whatever you propose out of the goodness in her heart.” She pushed him back against his chair and leaned closer to him, demanding his eye contact. “Very well. Try it.”
“Try what.” Zahhak responded.
“Whatever you had planned to deal with me.” She doubled down. “I need to know.”
“You’re only chasing this conversation to shift the blame to yourself.” He frowned, crossing his arms in protest. “What’s done is done. I think it would be better to continue our work, there’s much left to do.” Aria didn’t let him reach for those papers, making them disappear with a spell. “Not even a minute ago you told me you’re supposed to be the older one between us…”
“I still am.” Aria smiled at that, carrying a victorious and smug smirk on her face, she enjoyed having the upper hand over him. “You may get them back after a simple demonstration.” She said, resting her hand on his shoulder and lifting his chin up. “Unless you’re willing to confess you’ve become someone only full of talk. That must be why Amid chose Ran over you.”
Zahhak’s eyes widened, he could handle being provoked normally, but this was a weakness he knew she would continue to torment until she got what she wanted. “I’ve made my peace with the two of them. I wish them only happiness.” He grabbed her hand and glared, a steel cold expression which didn’t faze her.
Aria clenched his hand and pulled him by his collar. “I’m still convinced you’re only full of words, Zahhak.”
“You should be grateful I’ve brought her back safe and sound, with no thanks to you.” Zahhak smirked, intertwining their fingers. He lowered his voice, pulling her closer and leaning near to her ear, to ensure nobody else would hear. “Contrary to your sister, I find it unsurprising none have been tempted to pursue you in all these years. Now your father no longer has to fear that your family tree ends with the three of you.”
“I'd be in quite the predicament if I was anything like you.” She held back a laugh as her breath hitched against Zahhak's ear. “Humans, elves and everything in between; You have nothing but hatred in your eyes for them and yet you made it your life's goal to be tolerated by everyone like an unloved circus animal.”
“That gives us one thing we have in common.” Zahhak could almost feel her face pressing against his own, which she must've realised by now. “We are both unloved.”
Hearing that, Aria lost focus for a second, accidentally glancing down and catching a glimpse of Zahhak's lips. They were a soft pink shade that mixed well with his fair white skin. It was just an analysis as this was the first, and would be the only time, she'd seen them up close.
Zahhak took a deep breath, distracting her from his mouth to turn her focus back to his eyes.
“You’re right.” He told her. “I’m all bark and no bite, no more than a subservient lapdog that won’t bark until commanded to.” Zahhak laughed at the irony of it. “As you’ve previously mentioned, you don’t care for my life. It was foolish of me to think, even back then, that you ever did.”
“There you go again, filling in the blanks all by yourself. Haven’t you learned all that does is make everything worse for you?” Aria pinched his cheek. “Those eyes of yours. I’ve always hated them.” She remembered the way they looked when they first met, and even after all this time, he still carried that same element in his eyes she hated since day one. “My father gave you and Ran everything he had to offer, half breeds as you two were, with no reason to trust you! And yet unlike Ran…” She took a deep breath. “You never were truly satisfied.”
“...” Zahhak avoided her gaze. “How could I be satisfied..?” He sunk back in his chair, hiding his face behind his hands, hoping to at least spare Aria from the sight of him. “It’s not as if the majority of your people welcomed the idea of adopting two more mouths to feed. Not to mention how we were fighting a losing battle on two fronts due to your incompetent leaders who wouldn’t accept my advice thanks to my human side, which turned your uncle into someone corrupt enough to sacrifice your father for his personal gain.” He sighed, then chuckled. “And Ran… He was too occupied.”
“You pathetic, self serving fool.” Aria fought the urge to slap him, opting to be patient. “You never, not once, even made an attempt to confide in me.”
“You had no authority until it was given to you.” He challenged her. “You just confessed to having hated me since the day you laid eyes on me.” Angry now, he interrupted her before she could respond. “Did you think you’re the first person to try and hide the fact you hate me? What was I to do, ask a powerless and naive daughter born into a family of fools for help? Tell you that your uncle plotted to usurp your father, something he could easily turn around so as to pin the blame on me? Would you have believed me? All I could do was wait it out and watch as his plan blew up in his face right before he could reap the rewards.”
Aria exhaled, her hand that was holding onto his collar slowly let go, before caressing his cheek. “I’ve always known my uncle was the jealous type.” Her eyes fluttered. “But in spite of that… You were right. I wouldn’t have believed you, if only because I would have wanted to believe the exact opposite.”
In response Zahhak gently tilted his head, almost as if to lean against her affectionate hand. He closed his eyes for a full minute as his breath paced in sync with the movement of her hand. “I should have found a way…” He tensed up. “Your father’s blood is on my hands. Hate me, berate me; I deserve it.”
“I might.” Aria reached further, holding him behind his neck, taking comfort in his warm presence, even if she wouldn’t admit it. “There are a lot of things I hate about you, however…” She rested her head against his shoulder, exhausted. “I can finally see a little of what Amid and my father promised me they had seen in that pale boy back then.”
“What do you see?” He asked her, not expecting an answer in the face of her soft blush.
She lifted herself and locked her gaze into his eyes. They were a deep, bright blue. They were staring back with wonder and an innocent curiosity, following her every move, each twitch, just to see what she’d do next. She chose to look down at those familiar pink lips, noticing they appeared more enticing now than before. “A possible mistake, however, a possibly worthwhile one.”
“That’s another thing we have in common.” Zahhak placed a hand on her back, carefully pulling her closer, ensuring he wouldn’t cross a line. “We never change… We continue to make mistakes.”
“Only to inevitably regret them later.”
“Which we know.” Zahhak told her, slowly forming a smile on his face as she approached. “And yet… Unloved as we are.”
“We still make them.” Aria gave in and overcame her hesitation and fear of regret by sealing his temptations with a kiss. He returned the gesture and kissed her back subserviently, inviting her subconsciously on his lap, embracing her steadily. His eyes were closed, but he could feel her eagerness for him to take the lead too, if only a little, if only to prove she wasn’t the only one responsible for this mistake.
He opened his eyes and did as she hoped, hugging her and getting a proper taste of the lipstick Amid gave her recently, by his recommendation. Blueberry flavored.
He wanted to laugh at the irony of it, but feared giving her the wrong idea. So he only smiled, cupping her face in his own hands and deepening their kiss.
She must have enjoyed that since it made her lower her guard and do the same. Holding her breath, she was overwhelmed by the fragrance of his perfume, intoxicated by the rich smell of lemon Zahhak was wearing today.
She held him by his jaw and thought to herself how odd it would be if anyone caught them right here and now. Suthan would be shameful, he still held a grudge against the man she wrapped her arms around.
Amid would have already fled the scene and would pretend not to have seen anything, even if her mannerisms would give away that she knew more than she let on.
As for Ran, she couldn't care less.
After she broke up the kiss to catch her breath she looked him in his eyes and noticed he didn't show his usual composure, he had an almost hypnotic trance in his eyes and his hair was now a mess.
His face was slightly red, contrary to his usual paleness. The corners of his lips were trembling, which he tried to hide behind his hand. He wasn't looking at her, but knew he was the centre of her attention.
Aria rolled her eyes, realising he was still younger than she was, his mind must be racing like crazy now that it was coming down on him what he'd done. She forced his hand away and wiped the mix of their saliva on his mouth away,
“This side is quite unexpected.” She smiled, caressing his right cheek and left ear like she did with Suthan when he was younger, but the effect it had on Zahhak was much different than her little brother's. “So this is the subservient side you spoke of? It's surprisingly cute.”
“Make as much fun of me as you wish to.” zahhak was embarrassed, his face turning more pink with each passing second as she manhandled his face.
“Maybe if you looked at me like this back then, I'd have had an easier time believing you.” She teased. Each stroke of his hair and rub on his face made him struggle not to tremble in her grasp. “Don't worry, I still plan to make as much fun of you as I'm able to.”
That calmed him down. He wasn't ready for a complete change in her behavior, and in all fairness, neither was she.
She gave him another quick peck to catch him off guard, he never liked surprises and unforeseen circumstances, something she now has decided to continue repaying him with.
One peck followed another; on his forehead, to his cheek, to his jaw, to his earlobe with the crescent moon dangling off of it. He shut his eyes, embarrassed out of his mind but unable to find the right words to combat her advances.
“...Aria.” Zahhak pleaded. “Please.”
Finally satisfied, she stopped. His eyes still carried a hint of greed, but she wouldn't feed into it more than she already had for today.
“From now on, you'll be a subservient lapdog that only barks when I command it.” She ordered him jokingly, and he begrudgingly contemplated it seriously at the hand of her affectionate touches. “Let's be two unloved people together, what do you say?”
“Is this your way of confessing?” Zahhak asked, and he felt Aria's finger trace circles on the back of his neck. The sensation tickled, which made her impatience crystal clear. “You're not being fair.”
Contrary to the way she insisted, the chance to deny her offer was still on the table. He knew she'd allow him that freedom. He hoped she also knew his heart was wounded and not prepared to hold any love for others.
“I won’t apologise for not being as soft and forgiving as my sister. This is who I’ve always been, so you’d best recognise that…” She intentionally let go of him right after, so he’d know what it would be like to go back to being two separated unloved people. If he longed for her touch to return to him, now was the time to speak up. “I don’t play fair, Zahhak.”
Zahhak rubbed the back of his neck that she let go of, shutting his eyes and secretly mimicking the way she manhandled him there. It wasn’t the same. He knew this. No matter how hard he’d try, Aria had now become irreplaceable to him.
Zahhak took a deep breath before turning to her.
He then gave her his honest, heartfelt answer, to which she softly smiled in return.