Chapter Text
“Romantic? Hemingway?!” Sanji snorts unflatteringly, oblivious to the sighs and eyerolls around him as he flings his hands into the air. “He was an abusive, alcoholic asshole who squandered half his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers!”
“As opposed to a shameless, misogynistic pervert who has no friends?” Koza sneers, lips turning upwards into a smirk as their classmates burst into titters.
Sanji’s fists curl into tight little balls on his desk. Koza had no right to talk to him like this - especially about the parts of himself that he doesn’t like. Hell, at one point Koza claimed he liked that Sanji was shameless!
“Alright, cool it down, Scarface,” their English Literature teacher, a big man who they all call Jinbe, narrows his eyes at the teenager behind him, and Sanji enjoys his own little comeback.
“Yeah, and I suppose being an arrogant prick who picks fights with wannabe-gangsters is someone worthy of our time and respect.” Turning back to the front of the class while the others behind him groan out their annoyances, Sanji speaks directly to Jinbe, “What about female authors? Charlotte Brontë or Simone de Beauvoir? Or---”
The blonde doesn’t get much further when the classroom door swings open and a guy he’s never seen before steps in. His hair is dyed a dark green, gold earrings glitter in one ear and muscles ripple under the strain of his tight shirt, and by-gods he swears there’s a sword strapped to his waist--
“Hey, what’d I miss?”
“The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education.” Sanji sneers out immediately, unable to hold back against another (unfortunately attractive) neanderthal joining his class.
“Great, so nothing important then.” This guy nods, gives Jinbe a peace sign, then backs out of the classroom once more. The teacher takes a look at the papers on his desk with a loud sigh.
“Well, class, I believe that was our transfer student, Roronoa Zoro, but as to where he’s going… that’s anyone’s guess.”
“Maybe he took a look at Sanji here and decided he didn’t want to be his next victim--”
“-Oh you can fuck right off you ass--”
“Alright, enough!” A loud slam of hands hitting hardwood jolts the two boys back into their seats, nerves jarred as their intimidatingly tall teacher gets to his feet and points at them both.
“Koza, one of these days you’re going to get your ass kicked, and I’m not going to do a thing about it. And we both know how that’ll affect your college chances.” The blonde haired teen scowls, but says nothing.
“And you, Sanji,” Jinbe moves to him. “Need to stop being so damn reactive. I can see that you’re trying to be a feminist, good on you, whatever, but there’s a time and a place, and it’s not in the middle of my class. Got it?”
Sanji nods, if only so that the teacher can sit back down and continue with the class and he can not be the centre of attention anymore.
“Oh, and go to the office. You swear too much.”
“What?! But Jinbe--”
“Now, Baratie.”
The blonde wastes no time in gathering his things. He isn’t interested in learning about Hemingway or other old white men, anyway. He could probably get some studying done at Miss Nico’s office anyway, if she’s distracted by her…writing, again. He holds back a shudder. Miss Nico might be beautiful, but she is equally terrifying. Unfortunately for him that seems to be exactly what she’s doing right now, as he watches her mouth terribly cringeworthy words for ‘penis’ to herself, in search of the ‘right one’.
“Er… Miss Nico?”
“Ah, Mr Baratie, come in.” The dark-haired woman thankfully closes her laptop to look at him properly, so he relaxes a little. “Another strong debate with Jinbe on the school’s literature itinerary?”
“I was merely stating my opinions.”
“In a loud and destructive manner, no doubt. Like with your fellow student… What was his name again?”
He shrugs his shoulders meekly. Miss Nico looks at her pocket diary.
“Ah yes, Mr Whitehorse Cavendish. His testicular surgery was a success, you’ll be relieved to hear. No charges being pressed.”
“Not that they could prove I’d done it anyway.” Sanji murmurs, and he blushes a little when the older woman smiles serenely at him.
“My point is, Sanji, that people perceive you in a certain way. You’re a good student, who studies hard and gets good grades, of course. But with your classmates you can be reactive and… well, ‘a bit of a dick’ is the phrase used most often.”
Sanji feels himself nodding in agreement; that was something he’d often been called and he’s inclined to agree, since he didn’t want to be friendly with anyone at his school, ever, and being a dick all the time definitely helps.
“This isn’t a compliment, young man.” Miss Nico chides him, and his subconscious smile drops. “You need to work on this. It’s not good to have such a temper at such a young age.”
He bites his lip to hold back his well-prepared explanations: he’s the only child of a very sick woman, he’d been raised primarily by his uncle who had a dictionary full of colourful words he’d rather use than not, and then three years ago his life turned upside-down again when his mother married her widowed best friend just so they could afford her medical bills and be able to live like normal families. And now his childhood best friend was his sister and instead of getting closer, they’ve been drifting farther apart.
He just nods, instead. “Can I go study in the library for the rest of class?”
Miss Nico looks at him, with her deeply piercing blue eyes, and smiles, though it’s not a warm smile. “Sure, Sanji. I’ll give you a note if you’d like to use one of the solitary study rooms for the rest of the day.”
“Thank you.”
“So many fresh faces,” Nami sighs, walking across the campus as a curly-haired teen hurries after her. “So many new people to scam, blackmail, and trick into giving me their money.”
“Nami, maybe you shouldn’t do that in highschool…” Usopp, panting, casts worried looks around them both as they walk around. “There’s so many people here that could kill me in one punch, I don’t think I could survive if your schemes go wrong.”
“Nonsense, Usopp, on the contrary, it’s been two months since I transferred into your Freshman year and it’s the best time to do so.” Nami waves her hand at a group of snobby looking boys standing around a shiny sports car. “Look at those assholes. Filthy rich and full of audacity. They should be taken down a peg or two. Or those nerdy guys in the corner; I’m sure at least one of them would pay big bucks to go on a date with someone like me.”
“...But I thought you came out as a lesbian in your very first sex education class after Mr King asked to see your panties?”
“Yeah, so? Some of these dicks will probably like that even more.”
Usopp lets out a small, reluctant whine as Nami happily winks and waves at a few pretty girls on a nearby bench. Nami is about to ask them for their numbers when a flash of blue catches her eye.
“Oh my god, it's her. ”
“Her?”
“The goddess from my maths class!”
Gorgeous blue hair floats around a heart-shaped face as her high ponytail swishes from side to side, smiling wide as she laughs at her friend's joke. The girl and guy walk past Usopp and Nami without noticing them, and Usopp has to nudge Nami to get her to stop staring.
“You did not tell me you befriended Nefertari Vivi. ”
“Is that her full name?”
“Uh, yeah! She’s the most talked about freshman in school right now. She’s completely off limits.”
“What?!” Nami shrieks, causing Usopp to flinch. “What do you mean, off-limits? She was super kind to me in maths! We hit it off so well!”
“Well, yeah. But that’s as far as that’ll ever go, even if she likes girls.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, not only is her father super strict and a super rich doctor in the city, she’s also Baratie Sanji’s step-sister.”
Well, fuck. Even Nami knows the famous highschool senior, Baratie Sanji. Back in middle school, girls were warned about the charming, yet overly-perverted blonde boy who had a penchant for attempting to date every pretty face that looked his way, no matter if they were guy or girl. The key word being: attempted. A few brave girls and lucky guys tolerated him for a couple of weeks or maybe a few dates, but he never stayed with anyone for long. Last Nami had heard, Sanji got into a super serious fight that had landed him in the hospital, and he’d sworn off dating ever since.
“Well, what does being his step-sister have to do with anything?”
“Ever since Sanji had that incident and swore off dating, Vivi’s dad made it a rule that Vivi can’t date anyone at all. ”
It isn’t until school is over for the day that Nami gets a chance to see Vivi again. She’s waiting for Nojiko to pick her and Usopp up in the car park, and there she is - walking past with a small, blonde-ish guy Nami now knows is her best friend, Karoo.
A crowd of guys shove each other in the shoulder and point to her as she walks past, while one with weird, gothic make-up nudges the tall, lean one in the middle. Said teenager looks up, looks at Vivi, and smirks with a look Nami knows too well.
“Ugh, who the hell is that guy?” She sneers, nudging Usopp in the arm subtly. The skittish teen looks around her and squirms uncomfortably.
“Oh… Arabasta Koza. Super rich son of a family of Militants, aiming to be a “super soldier” himself. He acts like he doesn’t care about anything but he actually has a huge following because he’s so rich and good-looking.”
“Of course,” Nami mutters, watching the guys watch Vivi. The blue-haired girl twirls a strand of hair through her fingers as she waves Karoo off, the teenager getting into his parent’s car and driving away. After he’s out of sight, she takes out her phone to start texting someone at a rapid pace, looking deep in thought. “God, she’s so beautiful, Usopp. I might die if I don’t ask her out.”
“I’ll prepare your funeral, then.”
“Rude!”
“I’m just saying, you have no chance. She’s in her own world.”
“Liar. She might be as beautiful as a goddess but I’m not going to place her on a pedestal out of reach. She’s a person! A pretty, intelligent, funny person…” the redhead sighs wistfully. “She’s so hot.”
“Guys like us can never touch her.” Usopp shakes his head contrarily. “She knows she’s beautiful and uses it to her advantage. Guys like Koza , however, are on her level. Rich and attractive.”
“You’re wrong, Usopp.” Nami shoves her friend in the arm, watching him wince. “I could totally win her over.”
“If you wanna take a shot, be my guest. I heard she’s looking for an extra tutor.”
“Really?! What class?”
“French, I think?”
“Ugh, I hate French… but Nojiko used to take that class. I’ll ask her, it’s not impossible.”
Koza decides to ditch his friend group and get into an admittedly-cool convertible car, pulling around the car park towards Vivi. It’s then that Nami notices the famed Sanji walking in her direction too, as Koza nearly runs him over.
“Hey, dickhead! Watch where the fuck you’re driving!” Sanji snarls, raising a leg up as if to kick the car.
“Ballerina moves don’t scare me, twinkle toes.” Koza smirks, then allows his car to cruise forward towards Vivi. “I don’t normally offer rides, but you can get a lift home with me if your pervy step-brother creeps you out.”
Sanji’s hot-headed temper nearly reaches another level when the younger student takes the moment to step forward. “Respectfully, get fucking lost.” Vivi smiles at him, waving him away happily as he pulls away and out of the lot hastily. Nami and Usopp share a look.
“Damn,” Usopp whispered, impressed.
“Damn.” Nami nodded in agreement.
The two turn to see Sanji sheepishly approach his younger step-sister.
“I’m sorry, Vivi. Koza and I have been fighting again, so he was only talking to you that way to set me off.”
“I don’t care about what people like Koza think, and you shouldn’t either, Sanji.” She smiles up at him, and Nami can see the tension release from his posture as her words reassure him. So he does have a soft, non-perverted side to him. Another blonde girl walks up to the pair, slightly out of breath.
“Sorry guys, I was stuck talking to Miss Nico about her… ‘book’.” The girl pants, and the trio share a look of discomfort. Beside her, Nami hears Usopp gasp audibly and start to shake like a leaf. The siblings reassure her it was no trouble.
“Let’s get going, then.” The group walk a little further into the car park and get into a slightly-damaged beater of a pickup, not nearly as fancy as what Nami would assume of the Nefertari family, so she hazards a guess that it was Sanji’s personal car, than one bought for him by his wealthy step-dad. It’s reinforced further when a loud, clunky horn sounds out as Sanji blasts it as a kid on a moped pulls out in front of him and forces him to break hard.
“Watch it, dipshit! My sister and my best friend Kaya are in the car with me!”
“Oh, so her name is Kaya?” Usopp mumbles, and Nami decides to focus on her plan to get closer to Vivi than Usopp’s sudden lovestruck expression. Her own lovelife comes first!
Sanji’s ride home had been peaceful, at first, with the girls talking about classwork and how Vivi was finding being a freshman and Kaya retaking her junior year to redo some classes, casual chatter between the two who have known each other for some years. It was after Kaya had been dropped home that the blonde felt the tension shift a little in the car.
“So…” Vivi starts casually, as casually as possible for someone who was wringing their hands nervously. “I made a new friend today, maybe.”
“Maybe?” Sanji teases, keeping his eyes on the road.
“Well, yes and no,” Vivi huffs, moving to play with her hair. “Because, we’re definitely friends, but… she’s also really cute.”
“Cute girls are the best,” agreeing with a nod, Sanji wonders where this conversation is going. They’re nearly home, and that seems to be making Vivi more nervous.
“I think I have a crush on her.” Spitting the words out quicker than anticipated, the blue haired teen pants out a big sigh as the words tumble out. “She’s really cute, Sanji. And I told you about liking girls and boys equally since I was twelve. So… I was wondering…-”
“You just met her.” Straight to the point. Sanji’s mood is souring and he tries not to let it show. Nearly home. Nearly home.
“Yeah, so?” Throwing her hands up, Sanji tilts his head to miss a dramatic hand flapping by his ear. “It’s called a crush for a reason! How am I supposed to know if she likes me back if I don’t ask her on a date?!”
“By being friends and getting to know each other first?” He quips back, trying to keep his voice level and logical. “You can be friends and find out if she likes girls after a year or so of friendship--”
“-That’s too long!” is the dramatic sigh he gets in response.
“That’s too bad,” He shrugs his shoulders, finally seeing their driveway and pulling up to their garage. Well, technically Vivi’s dad’s house, garage, garden, everything. It didn’t really feel like his home. “Rules are rules.”
“But you’re the one that helped put those rules in place!” Vivi nearly shouts in frustration after Sanji parks and forces her out of the passenger seat. She’s nearly stomping her feet like a brat up the steps behind him. “You can influence my dad to change them!”
“Change what?” A deep voice from just inside the house, and Sanji can see the tall, imposing figure of Vivi’s father, Nefertari Cobra, in the living room window, in his favourite armchair. Sanji unlocks the front door and walks in. “Good afternoon, Sanji, Vivi. Did either of you make anybody cry today?”
“Not yet,” the blonde mutters, frowning when his younger sister brushes past him.
“Daddy, I have a crush on a girl,” Vivi goes to plead with him immediately. She leans against his armchair to get into his face, eyes wide and innocent. “I want to go out on dates with her, please? ”
“Hmm, I didn’t realise the rules of this household changed without my knowing.”
“Th-they didn’t… but--”
“So that means no, you cannot date.”
“That’s not fair and you know it, Daddy!” Vivi wails, and Sanji tries to ignore the sad pang in his heart that tells him this is his fault. He almost makes it past the living room and down the hall when he’s stopped by Vivi’s next words, “Sanji got to date people when he was a freshman!”
“And look where that got him. In the hospital for spinal surgery.”
A silence followed, and guiltily Sanji continues to the kitchen where he finds his mother reading a recipe book at the kitchen island, looking tired.
“Hey you, you’re out of bed today!” Sanji smiles warmly at her slight frame being upright, careful to hug his mother gently and delicately kiss her cheek. “You should sit, whatever meal you’re looking at, I’ll make it.”
“You’re my sweet Prince Charming, Sanji dear.” Sora hums and takes a seat on a barstool, which he helps steady her on. “I just had a craving for pork dumplings, will that be alright for you?”
“Of course, mademoiselle. Nothing is too difficult for me, and there is nothing I would not cook for you. I’m also pretty sure I still have some frozen from the last batch I made.”
“Darling boy.” Resting her cheek to her hand, Sora leans against the counter and watches Sanji get to work.
It’s like the tension and unease of the day melts away the moment he washes and dries his hands, ready to get into the rhythm of prepping, chopping, cooking. He cuts up vegetables for sauteing, prepares a homemade stir-fry sauce, gets the pan hot and sizzling for the dumplings. He feels most at home here in the kitchen of this overwhelmingly large house than almost anywhere else. Almost.
Subconsciously, his mind flits to his uncle, Zeff. The man that essentially raised him while his mother was at her sickest. That gruff, shitty bastard didn’t know what to do with a brat like him, whilst worrying for his sister in the hospital, so he did what he knew best - put him to work in the kitchens. The Baratie family restaurant wasn’t as popular or highly critiqued back then, so there was time to teach an anxious and aggressive eight year old how to peel potatoes and wash dishes and mop floors. Eventually, teaching young Sanji all the skills he’d developed today. That kitchen was his real home. Zeff had told him he could come work for him officially once he was an adult. He just had to get into culinary school and move back.
So until then, nothing else matters. Sanji wasn’t interested in wasting time on anything else.
Dinner is served not much later, with compliments shared in passing that reached his ears but seemed a little dull today, if the way that Vivi childishly poked and prodded each dumpling before finally caving and eating it in its entirety. There were no empty plates, which pleased him.
That was, until Cobra spoke again.
“I have decided to change the rules on dating.” He announces, and both of the teenagers look up in surprise. Sora too, though more out of curiosity than anything else. “Vivi will be allowed to date, if Sanji starts dating again.”
“What!?”
“Seriously?!” Vivi nearly throws her fork in despair. It made Sanji wince a little, and somehow she catches on and starts to tone it down. “I am my own person, Dad! You can’t hinge my life on the choices that Sanji makes.”
“I agree, I don’t want to be a part of this anymore…” Sanji murmurs. “I made my mistakes and I learned from them. I made the decision to not date anymore for myself.”
“Regardless,” Cobra continues authoritatively. “It was my surgical team that oversaw your stay in the hospital. And your mother who told me about your romantic endeavours. The boys -and girls- at your school are not worth the trouble. I don’t want you involved with any of them, are we clear, young lady?”
Silence. Ducking his head, Sanji can just barely see the held back frustration and disappointment lingering on Vivi’s face, and he knows that it’s his fault. He dated badly, got hurt for it, and now Cobra’s overbearing protectiveness is punishing his daughter for it. His mother looks conflicted, torn between pity and agreement, and it sucks because ultimately, even she would have no say in this. They might be married, but Sora doesn’t parent Vivi, the same way that Cobra doesn’t pretend to be Sanji’s dad. He is, however, the homeowner, and his word is final.
“I’ll start on the dishes,” the blonde murmurs, looking away when he hears Vivi’s quiet sob as she runs to her bedroom.
A Few Days Later
Nami shows up at the school library to find Vivi already at a table, a french vocabulary textbook open in front of her and idly taking notes. A worried part of her wonders if this plan will work, since Nojiko’s French was rusty at best and super outdated at worst. Still, the sight of the beautiful blue-haired girl lifts her spirits enough to feel brave, so Nami fakes some confidence as she strides over.
“Vivi!” She whisper-yells, excitement bubbling over immediately. Sparkling brown eyes startle and then beam at her in return, and she feels her cheeks warm.
“Nami!” Vivi waves her over, and the girl stands to hug her tightly. Nami notes that she smells warm, like the sun, with hints of spice and some flowers she can only imagine as sweet. “I’m so glad to see you! Thanks for agreeing to tutoring!”
“Yeah, it’s no problem,” Nami sighs, then they sit together and things start to go downhill from there. “I-I have to admit, my French is a little rusty, but I can teach you everything I know-”
“-What?!” Vivi blurts out at a slightly louder tone than intended, and they see a librarian at the help desk look over at them in warning. They huddled closer to be more quiet. “I’m fluent in French. I’m supposed to be tutoring you.”
“Oh? Oh- Ohmygod-'' Nami facepalms her cheeks, covering her embarrassment. “I totally misunderstood, I’m sorry. I don’t even take French.”
“Then why are you here for tutoring?!” Vivi whispers back, and Nami peeks between her fingers to see curiosity all over the other teen’s expression.
“I just wanted to hang out with you more,” Nami whispers, words mumbled through her skin, but it’s clear Vivi hears her by the blush that erupts all over. It enables her to be a bit bolder, so she adds, “I think you’re really cute, and smart, so I just… wanted to be near you.”
“?!” The squeal that nearly bursts from Vivi’s mouth is quickly slapped into silence with hands that grip her own face tightly. The grin that quickly replaces the noise is equally adorable. “You like me too?!”
“Wait, do you like me?!”
“Yes! I think you’re like, so pretty,” Vivi gushes, the dramatic level of whispering and hand flapping so innocent and adorable, Nami’s spirit soars. “And you were so cool when you came out as lesbian, like, immediately after that pervy teacher tried to harass you? I thought it was to get him to back off at first, but I heard it was for reals. I’m bi, but I haven’t really told anyone yet. So I don’t know, I kind of had hope…” Her hands go to her face again, eyes sparkling between manicured fingernails.
Nami’s heart is doing backflips. Even in her wildest dreams, she’d never expected this kind of instant reciprocation. It felt too fast, too perfect, but Vivi is shifting in her seat, reaching out with her perfect hand and it’s grabbing hers, that soft skin feels real and warm and it’s squeezing hers--
“I so wish I could ask you on a date,” Vivi murmurs, voice sad, but still hopeful. “We can meet like this in the library, at least. Under the pretence of tutoring.”
“I want to go on dates with you!” Nami nods eagerly, squeezing Vivi’s hand back. “But I heard…”
“Yeah, my dad and his stupid rules.” Vivi finishes her thought, sighing frustratedly. “It's changed recently, but it’s just as bad. No dating unless Sanji starts dating again. And I don’t hate my step-brother, we used to be such close friends, but I don’t know, I kinda get irrationally angry at him over this. He got hurt really badly, emotionally and physically, by his ex, so now he never wants to date again. And because of that, I’m not allowed to date at all? It’s SO not fair.”
Nami watches all of the emotions flitting through Vivi’s expression, and it’s clear she’s trying not to hold her father’s decisions over Sanji’s head, but it still hurts her. Not being able to live your life because of someone else was something Nami understood a little of - Nojiko became her legal guardian after their mother died, even though she was just barely eighteen at the time, and her sister had to grow up fast in order to keep the two of them together. Nami still feels guilty about Nojiko missing out on normal teenager things, college especially.
Those thoughts were for family counselling, not now.
“Maybe, we can convince Sanji to date again,” Nami tries quietly, shaking their linked hands a bit. “If we find someone he’d like--”
“-Fat chance of that,” Vivi scoffs, wiping her eyes with her free hand, and Nami realises there were a couple tears shedding in the last few moments. They disappear immediately. “Sanji’s had the last two and a half years since his breakup to thoroughly piss off and annoy the entire student body into avoiding him, so he can focus on studying. He doesn’t even have friends, besides me and Kaya.”
“Kaya?”
“She lives down the road from us. She’s Sanji’s age but she had to repeat a year due to illness. Super smart though.”
“Ohh, the skinny blonde girl from the other day.” Nami nods, now knowing a bit more about the girl Usopp seems to like. “I’m pretty sure my friend likes her.”
“Yeah, she’s also Karoo’s older sister, but Karoo is adopted.” Vivi adds, mentioning the boy she’s close with. “We all basically grew up together.”
“Do you think she’d be able to help us out?”
“No way. She’s Sanji’s friend first and foremost. And Karoo is too shy to even talk to Sanji at all so he’s out too.” Vivi shrugs and sighs again. “Nothing’s gonna work.”
“We’ll figure something out.” Nami reassures her, moving closer and daring to wrap an arm around Vivi’s shoulders, which results in the other student leaning in happily. “There has to be someone who doesn't know who Sanji is. Someone he hasn’t been able to push away.”
“They also have to be able to deal with his terrible personality.” Vivi rolls her eyes. “I love him, but he is terrible with girls. And needlessly violent with guys.”
“Someone out there will be into that.”
Vivi snorts out a quiet laugh at Nami’s confidence. “Sure, but does that person even go to this school?”
“I’m gonna find out!”
Nami is starting to feel like finding someone willing to date Sanji is going to be harder than she thought.
Usopp had managed to gather a few of the school’s most odd and lonesome loners from every corner of the campus, and even then the majority left the second Baratie was mentioned. Even the ones that stayed, only stayed to explain why they would never do it.
“Not even if you paid me!”
Nami and Usopp trudge into their biology class with matching sighs of defeat.
“I told you it was pointless.” Usopp mutters, a sickly look on his face as he’s handed a pinned frog on a tray to dissect. Even Nami wrinkles her nose at the smelly dead animal in front of her.
“There has to be someone who doesn’t know about Sanji.” Nami sighs. “Surely there’s been some other transfers—”
They’re hushed by the teacher, who sternly reminds them to actually work on their frogs, and for a few moments the only sounds they make are ones of disgust at the squelching and tearing of animal skin under their scalpels.
“Sorry I’m late—” A tall teenager pushes into the room, then is taken aback by the sight he sees. “This… isn’t history class.” He says lamely.
“That it is not, Mr Roronoa.” Their biology professor looks none too pleased, but somehow already knows this guy. “Once again, the literature based departments are in the South Wing of the school, and this is the East. I understand you’ve only been here a couple of weeks but it is in your best interest to learn the layout of the school quickly so that you don’t keep getting late marks on your class attendance.”
“Can’t I just stay here then?” The teen mutters, and Nami watches the way his piercings jingle a little as he shrugs. He looks vaguely familiar, but she can’t place where. “I’d much rather cut up frogs than learn about boring shit.”
“Language, Roronoa. Please go to your own classroom.”
Roronoa rolls his eyes and starts heading back out. “Whatever.”
Once he’s gone, Nami leans over to Usopp. “Him. That’s our guy.”
Zoro is tired of waiting for the Counsellor lady to speak to him.
He’s been waiting in the hall for the last ten minutes, sitting on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs the school considers acceptable seating, with his eyes shut and his head back against the wall. Students walking past are giving him a wide berth, which he appreciates. He’s been glaring at anyone who tries to talk to him for the last two weeks, and it’s been a success so far. He’s left alone.
The door opens, and a ginger-haired girl is strutting out, sighing in an incredibly hostile manner. She looks surprised to see him there, and there seems to be a question on the tip of her tongue, but Zoro can’t be bothered with some freshman asking for his number so he growls. It’ll hopefully be weird enough for her to leave him alone, and he’s right, she glares at him, so he glares back at her, and the silent standoff is only interrupted when Miss Nico calls his name from inside the office.
“Mr Roronoa,” the dark haired, intimidating woman from behind the desk looks up at him with a tight-lipped, icy smile. Her glasses glint from the light coming off her laptop. “Take a seat.”
He does as he’s told, but only because she terrifies him. She’d stared down his adoptive father, Mihawk, on the first day he’d transferred here and that alone was enough to gain his respect.
“How are you settling in? This is your… fifth school in the last three years, correct?”
“I guess.”
“So it seems.” Miss Nico doesn’t try to make small talk. It’s appreciated. “You’re in here today because a student claims you threatened to, quote, ‘show him your sword’ - is that so? As you might be aware, exposing oneself to your fellow peers is strictly prohibited--”
“--That wasn’t what I meant!” Zoro blurts out, mortified. “I’m a martial artist, I have a literal sword--”
“I don’t particularly care for the details, Mr Roronoa. So long as it’s been resolved, you’re free to go.” Miss Nico smiles calmly at him, then turns to her laptop to type in a few words. Horrified, the teen watches her mouth the words ‘show me your sword, big boy’ to herself as she types, and it’s at that point his mind goes blank and he leaves.
Maybe he’ll go ask the janitor if he has any bleach for his eyes.
He’s trying to take a nap during lunch when he hears the hesitant footsteps of people approaching the tree he’s sat under.
“Go away, not interested,” he sighs without opening his eyes.
“Nami, maybe we should listen--”
“Shut up Usopp!”
There’s a squeak and the sound of shoving before the feminine voice speaks again, and Zoro opens one eye to look at them. The girl is the one from the office that other time, and the other kid is shaking like a chihuahua behind her.
“We have a proposition for you.” Nami announces, arms crossed over her chest and standing feet apart in a show of confidence. “You do something for us and we’ll do something for you.”
“Why the fuck would I want anything from either of you?”
The Usopp kid squeaks at the annoyance in his voice and takes another step back, but if anything Nami seems more determined, even smirking.
“Because I know that you’re failing two of your classes, and those happen to be our specialty subjects.”
Zoro frowns. How the hell does she know about his grades? He sits up from against the tree, watching a pleased expression pass over the ginger girl’s face. Usopp still looks nervous, but also curious as to Zoro’s reaction.
“Why and how do you know about my grades?”
“You’re a kendo specialist, right?” Nami says instead, pretending to look at her nails. “And your dad is super famous. But also - super strict. He won’t let you compete if you fail any of your exams - which you’re soooo close to doing in Geography and History.”
Zoro’s frown turns into a deeper scowl. “Your point.”
“I’m taking Geography at a senior level as an elective, I’m literally in the same class as you. And Usopp’s a straight-A history student. We’re proposing that we help you out, keep you afloat through your exams, in exchange for a little favour.”
“That doesn’t sound ominous at all.”
“It’s just a little thing, you might even enjoy yourself, given the other… information I’ve found out about you.” The look in her eye is devious, and Zoro wonders if he’s about to sell his soul to this girl.
“I want you to woo someone for me.”
“Woo?!” Zoro snorts in disbelief.
“Woo. Flirt. Take on dates. Ultimately pretend to like him enough so that he agrees to go out with you until prom so I can date his sister.”
“I see how it is.” Zoro feels a twist in his gut at the explanation. Fake date a guy - how did this girl find out he was even gay? - so that she can date the sibling. That’s… not morally great. But given the kind of reputation he’s been putting out there since starting at this school, he can understand why they asked him. “Why me, though?”
“Baratie Sanji has… issues, with the majority of his year group.” Nami shrugs at his question and avoids eye contact. “You’re new, and he hasn’t pissed you off enough to avoid him yet. You also have the same kind of attitude as him and I’m thinking you guys might, I don't know, bond over your weird angsty teen boy behaviour.”
Zoro glares at her. “This isn’t convincing me to do this for you, you know that right? My grades are whatever to me.”
“But not to your dad,” Nami counters, smirking. “And if you do well, there’ll be some monetary rewards in there too, if you’re lucky. Here,” the younger girl reaches into her tote bag and pulls out a small stack of stapled papers. “I looked at your last Geography essay and made some study notes for you. If these help you pass the next test, you have to help us out.”
“I don’t have to do shit,” Zoro mutters, but takes the notes anyway. They’re neat and organised, and with a sinking feeling he just knows they’re going to help him immensely. He reads them for a moment, then looks back up.
“Fine, tell me about Sanji, I guess.”
Finding the soccer field after school took far too long, in Zoro’s opinion. It’s late March, and the sun is peaked in the sky, making for a warm afternoon, and though he’s done with his classes for the day he’s out looking for this dumb blonde guy on behalf of some conniving brat of an underclassman who has his grades on a tight leash.
He’d used the notes in his class. He got better grades on the pop quiz, and with great reluctance he thinks he’ll need them.
The soccer team is finishing up drills, by the looks of things. It’s easy to spot the guy he’s after - he’s insanely fast compared to the others, and the most focused. The footwork he puts in to his passes and his kicks are a league above the others, which Zoro supposes is why he’s on the team, but-
“Hey Assface, the goal is to pass the ball, not hump it!” Sanji snarls as a smaller teen trips and lands on the ball, sending it rolling off in a random direction. “Maybe if you paid better attention to the drill instead of your hair, you’d be better!”
“Baratie, cool down!” The coach, a huge dude with the weirdest blue hair Zoro has ever seen, pushes his body into a weird, dynamic pose. “Hustlin’ the freshman like that is not cool, bro. He’s your soccer brother!”
“Sorry, Coach Franky.” Sanji mutters, helping the kid up but not sounding very apologetic, which is evident by the way he shoves the kid once he’s on his feet. “It’s hard being the only competent player.”
“Oh shut up, will you?” Another guy on the team groans. “We get it, you score the most goals so we can’t get rid of you, but it doesn't mean any of us like you or have to be as good as you.”
“I’m sorry that I consider myself a man of quality standards and you’re all apes in colourful clothing.” The blonde sniffs, and three other teammates have to hold the first one back from starting a fistfight with Baratie.
Zoro’s starting to understand the ‘reputation’ Nami warned him about.
“Sanji, your vibe is off, I need you to go sit out of the next part of practice,” Coach Franky sighs, and the green-haired teen realises he’s pointing him towards the part of the bleachers Zoro is sitting at. “Go take five and drink some water. And DON’T go around the corner to have a smoke.”
“Fine.”
As he gets closer, Zoro takes note of finer details of his appearance. He’s generically handsome, he supposes, with a lean, muscled body, good height to him, and pretty blonde hair that’s well-cared for. Most of it was tied up in a ponytail, with strands just long enough to curl a little at the ends and sticks to his nape with sweat, which Zoro finds annoyingly attractive, though the emo-esque fringe over one eye cancels it out. And that’s - a curly eyebrow.
“Hey!”
He’s calling out before he can really think things through. Sanji looks up at him quizzingly, gulping water from his bottle.
“That curly eyebrow for real?”
Great move, Roronoa.
Choking, Sanji coughs up some of his water and glares at him as it drips down his chin.
“Sorry, but who the fuck are you?!”
“Apology accepted, the name’s Zoro,” he feels himself smirking as he sees the curly eyebrow twitch in annoyance. “Been watching you play - your attitude stinks but I kind of like that, wanna go out some time?”
“What the fuck?” Sanji laughs, a little in disbelief and a little in anger. “No, I won’t go out with a fucking weirdo like you. What kind of masochistic, moss-headed neanderthal are you? I have standards, so thanks but no thanks. Please fuck off.”
“Damn, such a foul mouth,” Zoro laughs, and it’s surprising how genuine it is from him. He gets to his feet and meanders a little closer, watching Sanji’s wariness to him build, but he sees curiosity, too. “I know myself - I’m a bit of a dick, too. I like people who can match my energy, and be level with each other. You don’t give a shit about what people think about you - same as me. Plus, you’re kinda hot, so added bonus.”
“Oh, kinda hot , gee thanks for the compliment.” The blonde rolls his eyes. He puts his water bottle back in his bag, getting ready to go back on the field. “Again, not interested.”
“C’mon, just get some take out with me after soccer ends--”
“Take out?!” Sneering, Sanji’s amused annoyance drops lower into distaste and Zoro senses he made an error. “Why would a master of the culinary arts such as myself ever lower the quality of my taste buds on the filth they serve in a grotty diner? Even more of a no-thanks. Please just go away already, I feel like I’m losing brain cells just by being near you.”
He turns to leave, and Zoro panics. This was fun, but not how this banter was supposed to go. He reaches out, going for Sanji’s arm to hold him in place and change his tune, plead that he really is interested--
“Hey, I’m really--”
“Don’t fucking touch me!” Sanji screams out, whirling on him in an instant, and Zoro feels the blow to his head before he sees Sanji’s foot come towards him. The roundhouse kick is impressive, and the blonde is bolting off the sports ground before Zoro fully hits the grass. He can hear as Coach Franky blows a whistle from a few hundred feet away, running to his rescue, but Zoro just watches the blonde grab his gear and run, fast.
“Damn, he’s actually really hot.” He hears himself mutter before he blacks out.