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Chapter Text

Early Friday, 19 June 1996

The time was sometime between midnight and dawn, but nobody in the Ministry Atrium was yawning. Hermione certainly was not yawning—she was in too much agony from Dolohov’s curse. This same agony also explained why Luna Lovegood had half-carried Hermione from the DOM’s Veil Room to the Atrium.

In the Atrium, Hermione saw Voldemort double-duelling: Voldemort v. Harry, and Voldemort v. Dumbledore.

Hermione murmured to Luna, “I don’t want Harry to die! If I were in better health, now I would be trying to kill Snake-Face too. And Bellatrix”—who was standing to Voldemort’s left, Hermione’s right—“who killed Harry’s godfather.”

Hermione winced, then added another murmur: “But I hurt too much.”

“Trust me,” Luna replied, just as quietly, “things will work out.”

Hermione, now forced to be a spectator to Voldemort’s duels instead of a fighter, was unhappy to notice that whilst Voldemort was trying to kill the headmaster (and was trying to kill Harry), the spells that Dumbledore sent to Voldemort were showy but were not deadly at all. Honestly, encasing the Dark Lord in a ball of water?

Suddenly a smoky blob shot away from Voldemort and towards Harry. But this smoky blob did not come from Voldemort’s wand, it came from Voldemort’s chest. Harry cast a Protego shield—

—but Luna quietly incanted Feyonvand, casting a spell wandlessly with her non-wand hand. Luna’s spell sent sideways a lavender shield that hovered in front of Harry’s Protego shield. When the smoky blob hit Luna’s lavender shield, the smoky blob bounced straight back, soon reentering Voldemort’s chest. Meanwhile, Luna’s lavender shield disappeared.

Voldemort snarled, “Damn you, blood-traitor Lovegood chit.”

Luna smiled dreamily.

Hermione asked Luna, “What is that thing that Voldemort shot at Harry?”

Luna replied airily, completely unconcerned, “You-Know-Who tried to possess Harry. I won’t let him.”

Twice more, a smoky blob burst out of Voldemort’s chest, flew to Harry, and tried to enter Harry’s chest; twice more, Luna incanted Feyonvand and wandlessly conjured a lavender shield that bounced the smoky blob back to Voldemort, then disappeared.

Voldemort evilly grinned at Luna and said, “No matter. I’ll go back to the tried and true.” Whilst Voldemort still was sneering at Luna, his wand swung about to point at Harry. “Avada Kedavra.”

At the same time, Luna’s wandless hand was itself swinging about, soon to point towards Voldemort. “Feyonshlangeh,” Luna incanted, almost too quietly for Hermione to hear.

Luna’s lemon-yellow wandless spell did not hit Voldemort—it passed in front of him. Instead, Luna’s spell collided with Voldemort’s flying-away Killing Curse, an instant after the curse had left Voldemort’s wand.

****

Voldemort wanted to laugh scornfully at Xenophilius’s child. Girl, before you cast a deadly spell, make sure you have the spell properly aimed. Voldemort did not even need to put up a shield-spell, Lovegood’s aim was so bad.

Well, this was a surprise! The girl’s lemon-yellow spell collided with Voldemort’s just-cast green Killing Curse, and the two spells interacted. Voldemort’s curse now was deflected slightly to the right, and its colour now was light blue.

Meanwhile, Potter had sidestepped to his left, Voldemort’s right. If the Killing Curse had not been deflected, the AK would have missed Potter completely. Instead, the deflected light-blue spell hit Potter’s chest under his outthrust right arm.

Potter’s chest turned to stone. This was followed, less than a second later, by Potter’s entire body turning to stone. Turning to marble, to be exact.

Then Potter rose up, as a cylindrical marble base formed beneath Potter’s marble feet.

Voldemort smiled. A marble statue was no danger to him.

“YOU BASTARD!” Potter’s mudblood (girl?)friend yelled. “Bheeshpaitsooth! Shniashtoksairt! Chehr voup roifss!”

Hearing those curses cast, Voldemort realised Playtime is over. Potter had cast no deadly spells at Voldemort tonight; and Voldemort knew that the bearded fool never would cast anything harmful at “Tom.” But Potter’s angry witch friend was not so high-minded. Voldemort did not recognise any of the girl’s incantations, which was frightening.

To Voldemort’s left, Bellatrix said, “The ickle mudbwud wants to pway? Confringo!”

Bellatrix cast the Blasting Curse at the mudblood—who immediately incanted, “Bouclier en caoutchouc.” A transparent-orange shield formed in front of the girl.

Meanwhile, the mudblood’s first three curses hit Voldemort’s shield—the third curse cracked the shield, which should have been impossible.

When Bellatrix’s Blasting Curse hit Potter’s mudblood’s transparent-orange shield, the Blasting Curse bounced back—Bellatrix was forced to dodge her own curse.

The mudblood immediately followed up Bellatrix’s bounced-back Confringo with another of the girl’s strange-words curses, this one aimed at Bellatrix: “Doro thigai ail!”

In the split second between the time that the mudblood had cast her curse at Bellatrix and the time that Bellatrix would have Protego-blocked it—

A man’s voice yelled, “MERLIN, THAT’S YOU-KNOW-WHO!”

Voldemort looked to his left. Just stepping out of an elevator was Minister Fudge, who was wearing pyjamas. Fudge was staring wide-eyed at Voldemort.

Meanwhile, the mudblood’s latest curse passed to Voldemort’s left. Evidently Bellatrix had gotten distracted by Fudge’s untimely entrance and never had put up a shield—

Bellatrix screamed. Then she yelled in a pain-filled voice, “YOU CURSED BRAT, LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE! I’M MELTING, MELTING!”

To Voldemort’s left, Bellatrix now was indeed melting—like a wax statue set next to a bonfire. The process was quick, and evidently agonising.

Voldemort could not avenge Bellatrix now—he now was taking spells from the Aurors in Fudge’s protection detail, from Dumbledore, and from Potter’s furious girlfriend. The Aurors and Dumbledore were only a nuisance, but the mudblood girl could Wraith him again.

To Voldemort’s left, the top of Bellatrix’s head now was only knee-height above the floor, and was still sinking into a puddle of wax. Bellatrix groaned, “Oh, what a world, what a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could melt my heart? Oh, look out, I’m go...ing!”

“Die, wicked witch,” the mudblood sneered.

Voldemort thought, My plans are ruined, and I’m in danger. He loudly hissed, “§RETURN§.” Voldemort and all the Death Eaters, except for cursed Bellatrix, vanished out of the Ministry Atrium.

****

Seconds later, still in the Atrium

Cornelius, clearly frightened, wanted to blather, but Albus had more important things to do now. Albus needed to restore Harry to nonstatueness, so that Albus could inform Harry about the Prophecy—and in the process, set Harry on the path to the boy making his Noble Sacrifice.

Albus idly wondered why Sirius was remaining in the Veil Chamber instead of being right here, demanding that Albus heal Harry. Sirius’s absence was just as well—Miss Granger was less than two feet away from Albus, commanding the Leader of the Light like a shrill empress. Did the girl not realise she was risking her sixth-year Prefect badge?

Albus pointed the Elder Wand at Statue-Harry, smiled reassuringly at Miss Granger and incanted confidently, “Finite Incantatem.” The spell rushed away from the Elder Wand and struck the statue.

Nothing happened.

Albus blinked.

Albus, now puzzled but not yet worried, cast Finite Incantatem again; and again, Harry remained a marble statue.

****

Two days later: Sunday, 21st June

By then, Hermione had gone to Diagon Alley and had bought a dose of Mandrake Restorative Draught with her own money. But even as Hermione had handed over the coinage, she had expected the potion to be a complete waste of money.

Sure enough, the specialised potion did not destatuefy Harry. In fact, nothing that Madam Pomfrey tried, that Professor Flitwick tried or that Headmaster Dumbledore tried, affected Statue-Harry at all.

The only good news? Harry was alive, both Pomfrey and Flitwick claimed, but Harry’s biological processes all were in stasis.

As for Hermione, she felt terrible—both physically, because of the lingering effects of Dolohov’s curse; and emotionally. Luna, on the other hand, acted serene, every time she came to the hospital wing to visit with Hermione and with Statue-Harry.

****

Five days later: Friday, 26th June; early morning
One week after Harry was turned into a statue
Also, the day that the Hogwarts Express leaves Hogsmeade Train Station

For some reason that Hermione could not guess, the headmaster had been desperate to cure Harry—so much so that on Monday, the headmaster had brought healers from Saint Mungo’s into the hospital wing, two days after the Daily Prophet had reported Harry’s statuefying by You-Know-Who. By Monday when Headmaster Dumbledore had invited the Saint Mungo’s healers to treat Statue-Harry, all of Wizarding Britain was in an uproar.

Alas, after four days with Statue-Harry, the expert healers from Saint Mungo’s achieved no more success at curing Harry than Madam Pomfrey, Professor Flitwick or the headmaster had achieved, or Hermione had achieved with her Mandrake Restorative Draught.

When the Saint Mungo’s healers finally left this morning, Hermione suggested to Headmaster Dumbledore that Harry be taken to Gringotts, so goblin healers could try to destatuefy him.

“Miss Granger,” the headmaster replied with an indulgent smile, “I am sure that the goblins can heal someone who has rock dust in their lungs, or whose hands have burst calluses from swinging a miner’s pick all day. But Harry is a magical human, and the best human healers in Wizarding Britain are at Saint Mungo’s; if human healers cannot heal Harry, I have no confidence that goblin healers can do better.”

****

Later in the morning: 10.40am

When Hermione and Luna were about to board a thestral-drawn carriage that would take them to the Hogwarts Express in Hogsmeade, the headmaster stopped them and asked them to remain in the castle. The two witches were needed, so Dumbledore claimed, to perform a ritual at Hogwarts. Both witches agreed, provided that the Granger parents and Xenophilius Lovegood would be told that their daughters would be late returning home.

It was not until an hour after this conversation that Hermione realised: Dumbledore had told neither her nor Luna what the ritual was intended for.

Chapter Text

Still Friday, 26th June

At 11.00am, the Hogwarts Express left Hogsmeade and Hogwarts Castle. At 11.01am, Hermione Granger, who was unwillingly remaining at Hogwarts Castle, became most annoyed with Headmaster Dumbledore.

Whilst Hermione waited to be called to take part in the headmaster’s mysterious ritual, Hogwarts house-elves brought Hermione her lunch and dinner in the Gryffindor common room. She had mixed feelings about this.

Hermione and Luna were not called to the Great Hall to perform the ritual until 5.30. The reason for the wait, it seemed, was that the headmaster had waited for Arthur Weasley, and Aurors Shacklebolt and Tonks, to get off work.

When Hermione passed through the double doors for entering the Great Hall from Gryffindor Tower, she found Luna waiting just inside the doors. Luna gave Hermione a dreamy smile, then the two student-witches walked towards where the headmaster’s ritual was to take place.

Sitting at the seventh-years end of the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables were Arthur and Molly Weasley, no-haired Auror Shacklebolt, pink-haired Auror Tonks, “Mad-Eye” Moody, and a few professors (Professors Flitwick, McGonagall, Snape and Vector). The headmaster stood in the gap between the four House tables and the dais on which the High Table was set.

On the floor by the headmaster’s feet, a regular heptagon had been drawn with chalk. Each of the heptagon’s seven vertices overlaid a chalk circle that was eight feet in diameter. At seven places just outside the chalk circle, quite near a heptagon vertex, a white candle burned. In the centre of the big chalk heptagon was drawn a chalk heptagram, which was about a foot in diameter.

Hermione sat down at the seventh-years end of the Ravenclaw table, instead of at the Hufflepuff table—both because she knew that Luna would prefer to sit at her usual table, and because Professor Snape was sitting at the Hufflepuff table, and Hermione did not wish to sit any closer to Harry’s tormenter than she needed to.

****

As soon as the two student-witches sat down on a Ravenclaw bench, Hermione demanded, “So, Professor Dumbledore, what is this ritual that you are about to perform, that requires Luna and me to participate?”

Molly Weasley snapped, “Young lady, do not speak to the headmaster so disrespectfully! He will tell us what we need to know when he’s ready.”

Hermione replied archly, “The Hogwarts Express is arriving in King’s Cross about now. I could be spending this evening with my parents—but nooo, I’ve been ordered to take part in this ritual, and I don’t know what it’s for!”

Sneering Snape said, “Ten points from Gryffindor for your whingeing.”

Hermione sneered, “School has not been in session as of eleven this morning, Severus. Did you notice that the Gryffindor hourglass dropped no rubies just now? Try something original if you want to bully me.”

Luna said dreamily, “The Potions professor’s head is filled solid with wrackspurts.”

Snape said, “I’m curious, Granger, why you are angry at me, but you have not spoken one angry word to Lovegood. After all, it was Lovegood’s spell that petrified Potter, so it is Lovegood’s spell that is infringing on your summer hols.”

Luna made no reply.

Hermione shot Snape her strongest You’re stupid stare, whilst she said, “You weren’t there in the Ministry Atrium, Severus. Or at least, you weren’t there unmasked. Luna didn’t cast her spell at Harry, she cast it at Voldemort—but then Potter Luck kicked in.”

Dumbledore said, his eyes a-twinkle, “Enough, people. Miss Granger asks a worthy question: What is this ritual that we are about to do? For a reason I refuse to divulge, I know that only Harry can defeat Voldemort. But right now, Harry is petrified and cannot defeat anyone. Nothing that I, Filius, Poppy or Saint Mungo’s has tried, has reversed the petrification spell—”

Hermione muttered, “You should’ve tried Gringotts healers.”

“—on Harry. My new plan is to perform the ritual to find a timeline in which another Harry already defeated Voldemort, at a young age, then the ritual shall bring the other Harry from his timeline to our timeline. I shall perform this ritual for the Greater Good.”

Professors Flitwick, McGonagall and Vector, and Aurors Moody and Tonks, Hermione noticed, all looked disapproving of this idea. The faces of Auror Shacklebolt and Professor Snape were unreadable. Arthur Weasley looked confused; Molly Weasley was smiling in approval.

Arthur asked, “So we’re about to kidnap another Harry Potter, who already has gone through one war, and we’ll make him fight our war for us?”

Molly yelled, “ARTHUR! DON’T QUESTION THE HEADMASTER!”

Dumbledore replied piously, “The other Harry’s summoning is for the Greater Good, Arthur. Thousands of magicals in our timeline, perhaps tens of thousands of magicals in our timeline, will live and be healthy if a Harry Potter with experience at defeating Voldemort, defeats our Voldemort.”

Hermione demanded, “And after we kidnap this other Harry Potter and somehow make him kill our Voldemort for us, how do you plan to send him home? Or do you plan to wall him up in the Hogwarts dungeons so he’s available when you need him again?”

The headmaster replied, “Miss Granger, you need not worry yourself with how the other Harry will return to his timeline. I have a well-thought-out plan for this.”

Hermione muttered to Luna, “Which means that poor bloke Harry is almost doomed.”

Luna nodded agreement.

Dumbledore ignored Hermione’s mutterings, and again addressed the group: “In a moment, I shall speak ritual words, whilst I aim my wand at the heptagram within the heptagon and I push magic into the heptagram. Whilst I speak the words, you others are to each use your wands to push some of your own magic into the heptagram. The results shall not be immediate, but sometime this evening, a suitable Harry James Potter will be brought to us.”

Dumbledore did not ask for questions, but Hermione asked questions anyway: “Why are Luna and I here? Why have Luna and I been ordered to be here?”

Dumbledore gave Hermione a grandfatherly smile. “You love Harry deeply, so your magic will make the ritual work better.”

“Then why aren’t Ron and Ginny here? Ron is Harry’s best mate, supposedly, and Ginny always is blathering that one day she’ll marry Harry Potter.”

It was not Dumbledore who answered, but Molly: “There’s a small risk that the ritual might backlash against the spellcasters; we all might maybe lose our magic. I’ll not put my children through such a risk.”

Hermione snarled, “But it’s okay to endanger Luna and me, because we’re not your kids.”

Luna said dreamily, “The headmaster is punishing me by jeopardising my magic, because it was my Feyonshlangeh spell that put our Harry into this mess.”

Molly said to Hermione, “Weasleys have been magical for twenty-nine generations; my birth family, the Prewetts, have been magical for twenty-four. On the other hand, dear, you are the first magical person in your Muggle family. So you see, dear, it would be much more of a loss if Ron or Ginny lost their magic than if you did.”

Hermione glared at the entire group of adult magicals, not just Molly. Hermione asked, “Wouldn’t it be better if we use more people, so more magic hits the heptagram, so we can search more timelines, or search timelines faster?”

Dumbledore shot Hermione his I am so disappointed in you look. “The more people who know about what we are doing here, the bigger the risk of Tom finding out.”

Hermione looked at Snape, then said to Dumbledore, “Ri-i-ight.”

****

One second later

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled as he asked, “Are there any other objections to be made, or questions to be asked?”

In the silence, Molly glared at Hermione. Hermione glared back, offended by Molly’s attitude that it was wrong to ask questions to the headmaster. How else can I learn things? Hermione thought.

Dumbledore then turned towards the heptagram. “Everyone, gather to my right and left. It does not matter where you stand, so long as I am in the middle of the row we make. Make sure you do not step on any of the chalk lines or kick a candle.”

After the spellcasters took their positions, Hermione was two people to Dumbledore’s left, between Luna and Tonks.

Dumbledore said, “When you hear me speaking and you see me pushing magic towards the little heptagram there, each of you point your wand at the heptagram and push your own magic at it. Everyone ready?”

After two seconds of silence, Dumbledore raised his odd-looking wand—it had bumps on it, Hermione noticed—and began chanting—

Sarkin ifret timpostrag, wilchinna torrak vavesien kikksa. Exsene ifret timpostrag an vekka Harry James Potter toi Tom Marvolo Riddle tefoitarun, ot kikktorn ikida ed dizpiz kikktorn nida. Sarkin srebsa eksenob timpostrags bar ot timpostrag an vekka Harry James Potter bruch, Tom Marvolo Riddle aid ot analtogog kikktorb tefoitar, dizpiz kikktorb nida. Puirkarlin srab analtogog-tefoitel Harry James Potter arre.

Hermione wondered, What language is he speaking? It’s not English, French or Latin.

Meanwhile, a white cloud formed inside the heptagon, but this cloud was contained within seven invisible walls.

Immediately the headmaster lifted his wand to point at the ceiling; Hermione and the others copied the move.

An aubergine-coloured (dark purple) ball appeared just inside the “invisible wall” that was facing the headmaster and the other spellcasters. At the same moment, the white cloud that was inside the seven invisible walls, began to revolve horizontally—slowly at first, then faster and faster—like a tornado. (However, the aubergine-coloured ball did not move.) When the white cloud’s rotation speed got fast, Hermione heard a rumbling sound coming from the contained vortex.

****

An hour and a half later

At the seventh-years end of the Ravenclaw table, Hermione, Luna, Tonks and Professor Vector were playing Exploding Snap. Everyone else except for Dumbledore and Snape was chatting with each other at the Hufflepuff table. Dumbledore, who was standing by the heptagon, was ignoring everyone else to watch the white-cloud enclosed vortex; whilst sneering, silent Snape was keeping his distance from everyone else at the Slytherin table.

The white-cloud vortex still was whirling within the seven invisible walls. Hermione happened to look up, just as a lavender-coloured ball, of the same size as the aubergine-coloured ball, appeared next to that dark-purple ball.

Dumbledore said, “It won’t be long now till we have our second Harry.”

****

Twenty minutes later

A third ball appeared next to the other two balls. This ball was white, with a purple tinge.

Immediately the white-cloud vortex’s spin got slower and slower, till the spinning stopped.

The now-unmoving white cloud divided itself vertically into three cloud-columns. At the same moment, the white, lavender, and aubergine-coloured balls disappeared.

The three cloud-columns quickly shrunk, solidified and changed colours, then three people stood inside the heptagon.

Inside the heptagon, and facing Hermione plus the rest of the spellcasters and the headmaster, was a version of Harry Potter—black hair, green eyes, wearing glasses, almost sixteen years old; this had to be a Harry.

But this other Harry was a foot taller than Hermione’s friend, and the other Harry’s hair was not messy. This Harry was not a starveling, and he was muscular. He wore eyeglasses with stylish frames instead of black, round frames—and this Harry Potter, like “Mad-Eye” Moody, gave off an air of Do not start trouble with me, because I am deadly.

Standing to Tall-Harry’s right, Hermione’s left, and gripping Tall-Harry’s right arm two-handed, was—another Hermione. Chestnut-coloured hair, chocolate-brown eyes, sixteen years old, the girl mostly looked like what Hermione saw in the mirror. But Summoned-Hermione had wavy hair, not bushy hair.

Standing to Tall-Harry’s left, Hermione’s right, was an old man with his hand resting on Tall-Harry’s left shoulder. The old man had blue eyes, grey hair cut soldier-short, a grey beard that was trimmed almost short enough to be stubble, and he was wearing glasses with unremarkable frames. The old man’s robes were coloured solid grey, in a darker shade of grey than his hair and beard were.

Whilst Hermione and the other spellcasters were staring at the three summoned people, the three people inside the heptagon were staring back at the headmaster and at the other spellcasters. Hermione still was trying to figure out who the summoned old man was, when the old man yelled—

“ALBUS PERCIVAL DUMBLEDORE, WHY HAVE YOU KIDNAPPED HARRY POTTER?”

Hermione’s mouth dropped open in shock when she recognised the old man’s voice. The summoned old man was a duplicate Albus Dumbledore!

****

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Translated, these are the words that Dumbledore spoke at the start of the ritual—

Search every timeline, going back fifteen years. Mark every timeline in which Harry James Potter has defeated Tom Marvolo Riddle at age one and again after age two. Search those marked timelines for the timeline in which Harry James Potter defeated Tom Marvolo Riddle at the youngest age after age two. Summon that youngest-defeater Harry James Potter here.

Chapter Text

Still Friday, 26th June

Summoned Albus Dumbledore—with short-trimmed hair, short-trimmed beard, ordinary-looking glasses, and dark grey, solid-coloured robes—yelled, “ALBUS PERCIVAL DUMBLEDORE, WHY HAVE YOU KIDNAPPED HARRY POTTER?”

(Hermione wondered, Why did the other Professor Dumbledore address the headmaster this way, with three names, not five?)

The headmaster, clearly annoyed, replied, “I summoned your Harry to my timeline for the Greater Good.”

“Correction: for the supposedly Lesser Evil,” said the other Dumbledore. “Now then, I see you here, who is the local version of me; and I see the local Miss Granger; but where is the local Harry?”

The headmaster replied, “During a battle with Tom—Lord Voldemort—this timeline’s Harry was petrified. Nobody has been able to reverse the spell.”

Hermione spoke up: “Except maybe the goblin healers. But the headmaster was sure the goblins could not help, so petrified-Harry was never taken to the goblin hospital.”

Tall-Harry blurted, “Voldemort is still alive in your timeline?” The three magicals inside the heptagon exchanged looks that Hermione could not read. Insolent Tall-Harry asked, “I suppose the three Lestranges and Pettigrew are alive too?”

“Mad-Eye” Moody replied, “Pettigrew was believed to be dead till a year ago. He has not been arrested, so he is running free. The Lestrange brothers and Bellatrix were imprisoned in Azkaban, but then Voldemort broke them out of prison.”

Tall-Harry said, “After your Lestranges were put on trial, they were sentenced to Azkaban instead of the Kiss or the Veil? Whose idea was this?”

The headmaster replied piously, “I wanted them to have time to repent of their misdeeds. I must admit that I never foresaw them being broken out of prison.”

Luna said dreamily, “Nobody need worry about Bellatrix Lestrange anymore. Our Hermione Granger killed Bellatrix Lestrange a week ago. Wicked witch Bellatrix Lestrange is most sincerely dead.”

The other Albus Dumbledore glared at his local twin and asked pointedly, “Tell me, in your Wizarding Britain, has any Death Eater been Kissed or tossed through the Veil since Halloween 1981? Fenrir Greyback, Lucius Malfoy, anyone?”

The headmaster replied piously, “I believe that wrongdoers deserve a second chance—”

“I did not ask you what your silly philosophy was—because I already know it; it was also my philosophy until November 1981. I asked you a simple yes-or-no question: In this timeline, in Wizarding Britain, in the years since Halloween 1981, have any Death Eaters been sentenced to death instead of to metal-bars inconvenience?”

The headmaster said, “Other self, you are downplaying—”

“Mad-Eye” Moody replied, “Only victims are sentenced to death here. And Aurors, and Order members. But Death Eaters? The Wizengamot has not sentenced one Death Eater to eat death since 1970—and these easy sentences are always at the Chief Warlock’s urging.” Moody chin-pointed at the headmaster.

Tall-Harry said, “So to recap, Voldemort is alive and free. All the Death Eaters are alive and free, except Bellatrix whom Local-Hermione killed. Meanwhile, local-me has been turned into a statue, but Mr Longbeard here can’t be bothered to take statue-me to visit the goblin healers, because then maybe the goblins would cure local-me, then Local-Dumbledore would have to admit to Local-Hermione, ‘I was wrong.’ Is this a fair summary?”

The headmaster said sadly, “Harry, I am disappointed that you are refusing to see the nuances here.”

Wavy-Hair Hermione looked across the Great Hall and asked Hermione, “One quick question: Does your Harry call your Dumbledore ‘Uncle Percival’?”

Other-Dumbledore corrected Other-Hermione: “I suspect that yonder Dumbledore still is calling himself Albus.”

“So noted,” Other-Hermione said. Then she asked Hermione, “Does your Harry call your Dumbledore ‘Uncle Albus’?”

Hermione snorted. “If our Harry ever did, he would mean it in the same way that he calls Vernon Dursley ‘Uncle.’ Albus Dumbledore left toddler-Harry with the Dursleys, who are Muggles who loathe magic. The three Dursleys would burn every one of us at the stake, if they could. But the headmaster made Harry live with them till Harry got his Hogwarts letter; then every summer afterwards, Headmaster Dumbledore makes Harry return to those people. They beat him, they starve him, and they overwork him, but the headmaster sends Harry back there every summer. A year and a half ago, Harry was made to be a Champion in the Triwizard Tournament, which is deadly to seventeen-year-olds—and Harry was fourteen.”

The three magicals inside the heptagon gasped.

“Harry did not enter his name; but the Headmaster of Hogwarts, the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, the Supreme Mugwump of the ICW, and Harry’s supposed magical guardian—all of them named Albus Dumbledore—told Harry that”—now Hermione’s voice became theatrically sad—“he was so sorry, Harry my boy, but there was nothing he could do, so sorry.”

Tall-Harry and Wavy-Hair Hermione both growled. Percival Dumbledore (Other-Dumbledore) glared at the headmaster.

Hermione added, “In the First Task, Harry, with no helpers, had to face a—listen up—Nesting. Mother. Dragon. A Hungarian Horntail nesting mother dragon. Harry, all alone, had to face this dragon because, I say again, there was absolutely nothing that poor, powerless, pitiful, helpless Albus Dumbledore could do to get Harry out of the Triwizard Tournament, such a pity.”

Percival Dumbledore snarled at the headmaster, “I left our Harry with the Dursleys for one day. And collecting Harry from Petunia Dursley, after Harry spent eighteen hours in her ‘care,’ changed my life. You sentenced your Harry to live with Petunia and her husband for fifteen years?”

Hermione corrected, “Harry has been sentenced to live with Petunia and Vernon and their son Dudley. And at least half of Harry’s injuries came from Dudley, who also has regularly stolen food off Harry’s plate.”

The headmaster replied, “This is unfortunate, but Harry needs to live there, because the blood-wards there protect him from Voldemort.”

“Lazy thinking,” said Percival Dumbledore. “Sirius Black is related to Harry through Harry’s grandmother, Dorea Black Potter; and Sirius is Harry’s oath-sworn godfather. After doing research, I figured out how to make the blood-wards lock unto Sirius as ‘Harry’s closest relative,’ instead of locking onto Petunia Evans Dursley. Once I made the switch, there was no need for Harry ever to live with Petunia Evans Dursley, and in fact he has not lived with her even one full day.”

Tall-Harry said, “Uncle Percival, tell them the story of what happened when you went to the Dursley house to reclaim me.”

Percival Dumbledore pulled out a bumpy wand—Hermione saw that this startled the headmaster for some reason—and conjured comfortable chairs for all three people in the heptagon. As Percival Dumbledore conjured, he said, “If I tell you lot this story, we all are going to be here awhile.”

****

Percival Dumbledore eyed all of the home-dimension magicals, including his counterpart. “It is clear to me that the split between my timeline and yours started when I had two realisations in November 1981, that your Albus Percival Dumbledore has not experienced.

“But before I tell you about my two realisations in November 1981, let me give you background. I defeated Gellert Grindelwald in 1945, and everyone told me then that I was brilliant, brave and clever. By spring 1980, I believed them—I believed that I was not only the most magically knowledgeable wizard in Wizarding Britain, I was the wisest too. In spring 1980, when Sybill Trelawney spoke a prophecy that said Voldemort could only be defeated by Harry Potter or by Neville Longbottom, I was pleased. Why? Destiny had chosen me to hear the prophecy, so I believed, because Destiny agreed that I was much wiser than everyone else in Wizarding Britain.”

Hermione interrupted: “Would you please tell us the prophecy? I don’t know it, Harry—my Harry—doesn’t know it, and our Dumbledore refuses to tell Harry the prophecy.”

Molly snapped, “For a good reason, I’m sure, which is not your place to question, young lady.”

But meanwhile, Percival Dumbledore yelled at Albus Dumbledore: “YOU HAVE NOT TOLD YOUR HARRY THE PROPHECY YET? You and I heard the prophecy in 1980, and it is now 1996!”

Then Percival looked at Hermione and asked, “Other Miss Granger, in your timeline, how many times has Voldemort attacked your Harry?”

Hermione counted: “Halloween 1981, twice in first year, a year ago in a cemetery, and again a week ago. Five times.”

Percival Dumbledore said to Hermione, “But since your Harry never has been told the prophecy, he has no guess why Voldemort keeps coming after him, does he?”

Then Percival Dumbledore stared down his counterpart. “Tell me, Albus, does it still give you joy to know delicious, juicy secrets that nobody else knows? Even if hoarding one particular secret means that the fifteen-year-old Child of Prophecy goes unwittingly to his death?”

Hermione saw that the headmaster shot his counterpart his I am disappointed in you look; Percival Dumbledore, rather than looking contrite, scowled. The headmaster archly replied, “I chose not to tell Harry the prophecy so that he could enjoy a carefree childhood.”

Percival Dumbledore was not buying it. “Whilst you kept putting Harry with Petunia Dursley? Any claim by you that you cared one whit about Harry’s childhood is clearly a lie.”

The spellcasters gasped, hearing this.

Then Percival Dumbledore looked at Hermione. “Other Miss Granger, ask your counterpart, or our Harry, or me, to reveal the prophecy to you privately—”

“No!” thundered the headmaster. “Miss Granger, I forbid you to hear that prophecy! You have no need to hear it!”

Hermione sneered at the headmaster, saying, “Your authority to give me orders stopped at eleven this morning.”

Then Hermione turned to Percival Dumbledore and asked calmly, “You were saying?”

Percival Dumbledore replied, “I shall not speak the full prophecy publicly, here and now, when there is a Marked Death Eater in the room.”

The headmaster said, “I am relieved that you see the wisdom of not revealing the full prophecy here and now. However, I have complete confidence in Professor Snape.”

“Professor Snape? In this timeline, Severus Snape still is employed by you as Potions professor and as Head of House Slytherin?”

“Of course,” the headmaster said pompously. “Severus is the youngest Potions Master in a century.”

“Oh, he is certainly adept at Potions—which is why I waited till August 1991, ten years after I hired him, to sack Potions Master Snape. When I replaced him with a young Muggle-born woman who had Outstanding-Plus on her Potions NEWT, but who did not have a Potions Mastery, it was quite the scandal at the time.” Percival Dumbledore shrugged.

Hermione thought, In their timeline, Professor Snape and Harry Potter were never in the same castle for even a day? I bet there’s a story behind this.

Meanwhile, Percival Dumbledore was saying, “But back to Professor Snape in front of me. He is still Marked in this timeline, correct? And Voldemort is alive in this timeline, correct? Albus Percival Dumbledore, you are a fool to trust your in-house Death Eater—but then, until November 1981, I was a fool too, in so many ways.”

“Ahem, excuse me,” said Professor Flitwick to Percival Dumbledore. “You started to explain two realisations that you had in your timeline that our Headmaster Dumbledore hasn’t had, but then the discussion went off on tangents. I wish to return to this topic, please. You now call yourself by a different name than does our headmaster, and you look quite different than he—what happened to you in November 1981 that did not happen to him?”

****

Percival Dumbledore replied, “A few days before the first of my two realisations, Poppy Pomfrey and I discovered that the forehead-scar of toddler-Harry had the most evil of magics in it. He had a horcrux in his scar, if you know the word.”

“Stop! Be silent!” yelled the headmaster.

Percival Dumbledore shot the headmaster a You are a moron look, and calmly continued, “Anyway, Poppy tried and I tried, but we could find no way, except killing the lad, to destroy the evil magic within Harry’s scar. In my conceit, I took it for granted that if I knew of no way to remove the evil magic from Harry’s scar, other than by killing the boy, then no such solution possibly could exist. I did not consult with the Unspeakables, or with Saint Mungo’s; and I certainly did not talk to the goblin healers. Since I could not remove the evil magic, then nobody could, therefore Harry was doomed, so sad.

“I then formed a plan how I could mould Harry into sacrificing himself at the right time, during his prophecy-predicted battle with Voldemort. So sad, but it would be for the Greater Good, because Voldemort would be vanquished. Part of my plan for toddler-Harry was that he would not be raised in the magical world, either by Sirius or by Alice—because otherwise, everyone in the magical world would treat Harry like a pampered prince from the age of fifteen months old.”

All the people in the native timeline looked meaningfully at Snape. Hermione suspected that Percival Dumbledore did not understand the meaning of this look.

Percival Dumbledore continued, “I had never met Petunia Evans Dursley, but I figured that as a mother, she would be like Lily to Harry, except Harry would be raised nonmagically. Meanwhile, I used my powers as Chief Warlock to seal the Potters’ wills, so that neither Sirius nor Alice could prove he or she was the rightful guardian. Alice was a pest to me after the Potters died, I must tell you; she was eager to raise Harry, alongside her own son. Sirius was the exact opposite: He handed Harry over to Hagrid when ordered to, then I did not hear from him for several days.

“After those several days, Bartemius Crouch flooed into my office, telling me that Sirius Black had been arrested for the murder of the Potters, Sirius was in a holding cell, and Bartemius wanted to send Sirius straight to Azkaban. Crouch flooed over so he could hand me a parchment saying ‘Sirius Black shall go directly to Azkaban’; the parchment already had Millicent Bagnold’s signature and Bartemius Crouch’s signature, and needed only mine.”

Percival Dumbledore paused, and looked about at all his local-timeline listeners.

“Anyway, my first earthshaking realisation happened soon after I felt my life’s greatest temptation. Bartemius Crouch tried to hand me the parchment that needed only my signature in order to send Sirius Black to Azkaban without a trial. This parchment was written and doubly signed after Sirius supposedly had confessed to both Potter murders; but I knew that Sirius Black could not have killed the Potters. I will spare you the details, but in the instant I was offered the parchment, I saw a despicable way that if I signed the parchment anyway, one thing would lead to another, then years later, I could fix a reputation for myself as the greatest wizard since Merlin. Which I would deserve, or so I thought at the time, because was I not the most magically knowledgeable and wisest wizard in Britain? Were not these two sterling qualities of mine the very reasons that I had been told the prophecy? Oh, I was so tempted to sign the parchment that would have ruined Sirius’s life!”

Hermione noticed that the headmaster was glaring at his other-timeline counterpart, for revealing the headmaster’s secrets.

Percival Dumbledore continued, “Right after I felt tempted to sign Crouch’s parchment, and thus to remove innocent Sirius as a threat to my despicable plan, but before I actually did sign Crouch’s parchment, whilst Bartemius was holding it out for me to sign, I realised something. To wit, Destiny had not told me the Prophecy because I was so much wiser than everyone else, but because of one position I held: Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards. I knew magical people all over the world, and they knew even more magical people all over the world. Meaning, someday I could gather a team of experts for Harry’s training who was more qualified than what Sirius or Alice, who were Harry’s godparents, could gather. Then, with Bartemius still holding out the parchment to me, I chuckled. With me being Supreme Mugwump, I saw that Destiny still would have told me the Prophecy even if I had been a dullard like Garston Goyle. People, that was a humbling thought.”

Tall-Harry laughed then. “He isn’t kidding about him knowing people and them knowing more people. When I was six years old, I started my Chosen One training. My first three trainers were dangerous wizards from Japan, Brazil and the Philippines. Each of them knew combat magic and a nonmagical martial art.”

Other-Hermione said to Tall-Harry, “Sometime, tell Local-Me the story about when you were ten years old, and you met up with those three bullies in the video arcade. Those three fourteen-year-old bullies.” Other-Hermione said to Hermione, “Spoiler: the bullies got their clocks cleaned.”

Tall-Harry grinned. “Thanks to my training, I was one BAMF ten-year-old, both magically and nonmagically.”

Percival Dumbledore smiled at the two teenagers from his timeline, then resumed his story. “I refused to sign Bartemius’s parchment. Instead, I flooed to the DMLE and got loud. I told the Aurors that Sirius Black was not the Secret Keeper who had betrayed the Potters, Peter Pettigrew was, and I should know all this because I was the one who had cast the Fidelius Charm. No Auror had checked Sirius’s wand; I insisted the Aurors check his wand in front of me. Sirius had not been questioned with Veritaserum, supposedly because ‘He is a Pureblood, and we cannot question him with Veritaserum without his consent, so what is the point in even asking?’ As Bartemius nearly popped a blood vessel in anger, I asked Sirius in his holding cell if he consented to questioning under truth potion. What a surprise, he consented. After his Veritaserum questioning, Sirius gave a Pensieve memory. The result of that evening was that Sirius became a free man and Harry’s guardian, only hours after he had been arrested. Then I as Chief Warlock unsealed the Potter wills that I had sealed days earlier.”

Percival Dumbledore looked over at Hermione, the headmaster and the other magicals of Hermione’s timeline. “This left only one minor detail before Sirius could become toddler-Harry’s guardian in fact: I had to reclaim the boy from Petunia Dursley, with whom I had left toddler-Harry. I naively presumed that this errand would be a quick and easy one.”

Hermione said ominously, “Little did he know.”

“Before I knocked on Petunia Dursley’s door, I was forming arguments how I would persuade a woman who did not want to give up her nephew, to do this very thing. I thought that Petunia Dursley would be a mother like her sister Lily, or like Molly Weasley; the thought never occurred to me that I. Might. Be. Wrong.

“When she opened the front door, I said charmingly, ‘Mrs Dursley, I am Albus Dumbledore—’ ”

“ ‘You!’ she yelled at me. ‘You are the grand-poohbah freak who left Lily’s freak brat with us without asking us, or even ringing the doorbell! He could have died in his little basket, then whom would the police have blamed, hm?’ ”

“I was shocked by her words. I had not at all imagined her feeling like this. I projected calm and assurance, and said to her, ‘Mrs Dursley, I am here to reclaim Harry. I hope you are willing to give him up.’ I expected an argument; I had prepared for an argument. Instead, she snarled, ‘Stay there. Do not leave.’ She hurried away from the door. A minute later, she returned, with toddler-Harry in her arms. He reeked.”

The Great Hall was silent. Tall-Harry was looking at the floor.

Percival Dumbledore said, “You do not need to guess what the smell was. Petunia thrust the small child at me, waited till I had taken him in my arms, then said, ‘His nappy needs changing. Goodbye. Do not bother us again.’ Then she slammed the door in my face.”

Again the entire Great Hall was silent.

Percival commented, “Before that moment, Minerva had tried to tell me I was wrong about this or that. Throughout the years, other people had tried to tell me I was wrong about things. Always I would ignore what they told me. In my judgement, the people who were telling me facts that meant I was wrong, those people were LEMPI—lying, exaggerating, mistaken, pulling a prank, or ignorant. Needless to say, when Minerva tried to tell me that the Dursleys were ‘the worst sort of Muggles,’ I refused to hear her out. After all, I was the wisest wizard in Wizarding Britain, was I not?”

Hermione saw Professor McGonagall glare at the headmaster. He appeared not to notice.

Then Percival Dumbledore looked at Tall-Harry, Other-Hermione, Hermione, the headmaster, and everyone else in the Great Hall. “But about Petunia Dursley’s character, I had to face a humbling fact: I was wrong. My second great realisation of November 1981 was that I was wrong about something—spectacularly wrong.”

Then Percival smirked. “Soon I was wrong again, when I took toddler-Harry to Hogwarts and I all but begged Poppy, ‘Please change his nappy! I do not know how to.’ She replied, ‘I cannot. There are no nappies here; it has been decades since a Hogwarts witch has given birth.’ So then Harry and I portkeyed to the Burrow and I asked Molly to change Harry’s nappy. Luckily, Molly had clean nappies to spare.”

Hermione saw this timeline’s Molly get her hand squeezed by Arthur.

Percival Dumbledore said, “After both Harry and his nappy were clean, I did something that I did not think I needed to do: I took Harry to be treated by goblin healers. The results shocked me. Rather than the goblins telling me what I expected to hear—‘We cannot help you with the horcrux in his scar, sorry’—they charged me five thousand galleons, performed a ten-minute ritual, and the horcrux in Harry’s scar was gone.”

Percival Dumbledore sighed. “Being wrong four times in one day, changed my life. My four clear errors changed my entire outlook about myself, and I changed how I presented myself. I began telling people, ‘Do not call me Albus anymore, call me Percival. You see, Percival is also part of my full name.’ I dropped the made-up names Wulfric and Brian. I trimmed my hair, trimmed my beard, stopped wearing showy robes, and stopped wearing gaudy eyeglasses.”

“A clean break,” Hermione said.

“Then beginning when Harry was six, I treated mentoring the Chosen One as the most important task of my life. What else to tell you? Since November 1981, I also have banished the words Greater Good from my speech. I have no right to ruin a few people’s lives, even when fallible-I am convinced that my actions would benefit more people’s lives elsewhere. I almost made Harry suffer for years at the Dursley house, all for the supposed Greater Good.”

Percival Dumbledore, as he said this last part, glared at Albus Dumbledore.

Professor Sprout said, “Other-Headmaster Dumbledore, I don’t understand why living through that shocking day made you change everything—your name, your appearance, your attitudes, everything.”

Percival Dumbledore replied, “The wizard named Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was a fool, and everyone realised this except me. When I realised this, I gave up the fool’s name, the foolish appearance and the foolish ideas. Also, I was responsible, as the person who had heard the prophecy, to not merely ensure that Harry vanquished Voldemort, but also to ensure that Harry be alive and healthy afterwards. The fool I was, before November 1981, would have let Harry Potter die in Fiendfyre, if somehow this would ensure the end of Voldemort—I chose in 1981 to no longer think and act so inhuman.”

****

Professor Flitwick asked Tall-Harry, “Mr Potter, who has raised you?”

Tall-Harry grinned. “Sirius Black has, for as long as I can remember. He’s been brilliant. I don’t remember the part of a day that I spent with Aunt Petunia—”

Other-Hermione hugged him.

“—but I have many great memories of ‘field trips’ with Sirius and with the Tonks family into the nonmagical world. My real mum was nonmagically raised, and Sirius wants me familiar with the nonmagical world. A good thing too, because when I met Hermione on the firstie train, I was the only firstie in the compartment who could talk to her.”

Tall-Harry looked over at Hermione. “I don’t know the nonmagical world like your Harry does. But I know what a ‘ball-point pen’ is, and I write with them instead of with quills.”

“Except for Ancient Runes class,” Other-Hermione corrected.

Tall-Harry rolled his eyes. “As for magical-world stuff, Sirius taught me Wizarding Britain manners, and since 1983, he has taught me what I’m supposed to know in 1997 as Lord Potter.”

****

“Mad-Eye” Moody asked Tall-Harry, “How did you kill Voldemort?”

Tall-Harry replied, “Before I answer that, you need to know that my killing of Voldemort was successful only because all his horcruxes already were destroyed. I wasn’t involved with this; in the Eighties, Sirius worked with Uncle Percival and the goblins to find and to destroy all of Voldemort’s horcruxes.”

The headmaster frowned, hearing this.

Tall-Harry continued, “By September 1991, all the horcruxes were destroyed. Anyway, all the credit for my Chosen One training goes to Uncle Percival. Starting back in 1986, I trained for fighting Voldemort with the three trainers whom Uncle Percival recruited. I did this training five times a week, beginning in 1986, till I went to Hogwarts in 1991 for my first year. I love the results of my training now, but as a small boy, I learnt to hate those three rotter bastards!

“At the end of my first year at Hogwarts, 4 June 1992, Voldemort strutted into the Great Hall—he was possessing Draco Malfoy’s father at the time—with Moldyshorts acting like he owned the castle.

“Surprise, I didn’t try to hit Luciusmort with spells. Nor did I hit him with my hands, which would have killed him, because of strange magic my mum did. Instead, I rushed up to Voldy with a sort of zig-zag series of handsprings that my trainers had invented. The zig-zag handsprings meant that Voldy’s curses all missed me. Then it was my turn: Voldy got kicked in the jaw twice at the same time by both my feet. One second, he was making threats against the ‘child spawn of the mudblood,’ and the next second, he was dead of a snapped neck.

“After I killed Voldy, Hermione was the only student in the school who didn’t fawn over me.”

Other-Hermione made the rocking-hand gesture. “I didn’t fawn over him at Hogwarts, true. I did, however, make sure to kiss him on the lips two months later, at his twelfth birthday party.”

****

Next to Hermione, Luna wore an expression of innocence as she asked, “This question is for Other Hermione Granger and for Other Dumbledore. The headmaster’s ritual was meant to Summon only your Harry Potter. How were you other two magicals brought with him?”

Percival Dumbledore smiled at Luna. “Your counterpart in our timeline warned me this morning, before the train even left Hogsmeade, that when Harry and Miss Granger stepped off the Hogwarts Express at King’s Cross, I should be there ‘to save Harry Potter from a great wrong.’ I was at Platform 9¾ at the appointed time, but I was expecting an attack by unMarked Voldemort sympathisers. Minutes after the train arrived, these two had walked about fifteen feet away from the train when a white-cloud vortex began to form round Harry. I recognised that he was being Summoned; and before the ritual could take him, I slammed my hand on his shoulder. Miss Granger, meanwhile, also recognised what was happening with Harry; she immediately rushed over to him and grasped his arm. The ritual Summoned all three of us, and here we are. I point out to my twin that all three of us are missing the beginning of our summer hols, and these two are worrying their families.”

Hermione said, “I hear you there, I do.”

The headmaster said pompously, “I assure you, the ritual was completely safe for your Harry.”

To which Percival Dumbledore replied, “But the aftermath for our Harry is not safe at all, all thanks to you.”

Meanwhile, Hermione was murmuring to Luna, “I think somehow you knew what Other-Luna did, and you asked your question so she would get credit.”

Luna smiled dreamily but made no reply.

****

One second later

Percival Dumbledore looked about. “Now that you know enough about us and about our Harry, I want to know about your Harry. Take us to where the statue of your Harry Potter is.”

“Concern for our Harry is all well and good,” Albus Dumbledore replied, “but you and I need to agree how your Harry will vanquish our Voldemort.”

****

AUTHOR’S NOTE: In other stories of mine, when the goblins remove the horcrux from Harry’s scar, Harry is charged twenty thousand galleons. But when Percival Dumbledore hired the goblins to remove the horcrux from toddler-Harry’s scar, Percival was charged only five thousand galleons, which is a 75-percent markdown. The ritual for toddler-Harry also was quicker; it took only ten minutes. The quoted price in this chapter was comparatively cheap, and the ritual-time was comparatively quick, because the horcrux-infestation in toddler-Harry’s scar was new and disorganised, so was easily removed.

****

To be clear to readers: The only differences between Percival Dumbledore’s timeline and the timeline of Hermione, Luna, Albus Dumbledore and Statue-Harry, are due to changes caused directly or indirectly by Percival Dumbledore, beginning November 1981. Wherever Percival Dumbledore did not take action in his world, the two timelines are identical. Thus Other-Hermione’s life was minute-by-minute identical to Hermione’s life, from 19 September 1979 right up to 1 September 1991, when each Hermione boarded her version of the Hogwarts Express, and one Hermione met her timeline’s Harry Potter before the other Hermione met hers.

Anything and everything that happened in Percival Dumbledore’s timeline prior to November 1981 is identical to canon (or rather, is identical to my version of canon).

Chapter Text

Still in the Great Hall
Still Friday, 26th June

Percival Dumbledore looked about. “Now that you know enough about us and about our Harry, I want to know about your Harry. Take us to where the statue of your Harry Potter is.”

The headmaster replied, his voice sounding annoyed, “Concern for our Harry is all well and good, but you and I need to agree how your Harry will vanquish our Voldemort.”

As Hermione and Luna were climbing off their Ravenclaw bench, Percival Dumbledore ignored the headmaster’s last words and instead asked him, “Is your Harry in the hospital wing, or did you hide the Statue Boy Who Lived in an empty classroom?”

As the headmaster glared at his disrespectful questioner, Hermione answered for the headmaster: “Harry is in the hospital wing.”

Other-Hermione asked, “Why would he be in an empty classroom? He can’t get healing treatment there.”

Percival Dumbledore answered, “Albus does not like his failures to be known, especially by students. Be sure that if Statue-Harry is still in the hospital wing, it is because Madam Pomfrey insisted, and she did not back down. Which means that Albus’s worst nightmare is taking place right now: However few or many students in this timeline have visited the hospital wing in the past week, those students have spent today’s train trip telling their shocked and appalled friends about Harry The Statue. Be sure that amongst the shocked listeners, someone has asked, ‘Why has the headmaster not cured Potter?’ Albus, you better hope that no Hogwarts student has a parent who works for the Daily Prophet—or for the Quibbler.”

Luna, who was standing beside Hermione, smiled dreamily.

With his words of explanation now spoken, Percival Dumbledore began to stride towards the hospital wing. Tall-Harry, both Hermiones and Luna hurried to keep up. The headmaster followed behind the other five magicals; the headmaster was walking towards the hospital wing at a sedate pace—barely faster than a stroll.

****

During the trek to the hospital wing

Hermione asked Other-Hermione, “What have you done to your hair to make it not be bushy?”

Other-Hermione replied, “This is due to Sleekeazy’s Hair Potion. Harry’s grandfather, Fleamont Potter, invented it and patented it.” Now Other-Hermione grinned. “I’ve a connexion to someone high up in the company, so I can get the potion cheaply.”

Tall-Harry said, “Sleekeazy’s is a sweet deal for me. Every three months I get royalties dumped into my trust vault; and anytime I want, I can get a case of twenty bottles owled to me for free. Three guesses who winds up using most of the product.”

Tall-Harry grinned at Other-Hermione, who backhanded his stomach.

Other-Hermione said to Hermione, “What you see is a compromise. Harry likes my hair bushy; he says it has ‘character’ this way. I want my hair straight, like Luna’s hair or Su Li’s hair. Wavy hair is the compromise.”

Hermione said, “Harry never has mentioned that he has a connexion to Sleekeazy’s, or that his trust vault is receiving royalties.”

Percival Dumbledore looked back and said, “I suspect this is my twin’s doing. If Harry does not know he has a connexion to family, if he does not know that his vault is earning money, he is easier to browbeat.”

****

Minutes later, in the hospital wing

Percival Dumbledore snarled, “Statue-Harry is stood in a corner?”

Other-Hermione also was outraged: “They have him facing the corner? Like a misbehaving child?”

Hermione said, “Maybe Madam Pomfrey was trying to keep him from blocking foot traffic.” But her words sounded like a lame excuse, even to her.

Tall-Harry said, “At least put him in a bed, like a regular patient, instead of making him seem like unwanted artwork for the rubbish men to pick up!”

Meanwhile, Percival Dumbledore had drawn his bumpy wand, and had used it to rotate Statue-Harry in place. By the time Statue-Harry was facing the five others, the five had become six—the headmaster finally had joined the throng.

To Hermione, Statue-Harry looked like a well-sculpted marble statue, complete with a cylindrical marble base. The marble looked authentic, even to having veins in it. Statue-Harry’s eyes were glaring at something or someone twenty or thirty feet in front of him. His face showed anger and determination. His right arm was thrust forwards and his wand was pointing forwards; the muscles of his right hand, wrist and forearm were tight because of the strong grip he had on his wand. Harry’s never-healing lightning-bolt scar was plainly visible above his statue-glasses, though the statue-version of the lightning-bolt scar no longer had ghastly colouring.

To repeat, this is what Hermione saw when she looked at the statue. The three Summoned magicals saw something completely different—

Tall-Harry blurted, “Local-Harry is short! And thin! He’s a foot shorter than me!”

Percival Dumbledore pointed an accusing finger at Albus Dumbledore: “The Dursleys did this to Harry! And you let it stand! Is this more Greater Good rubbish?”

The headmaster’s eyes twinkled. “You know how famous Harry is in the magical world. If I had let Poppy give Harry malnutrition-correction potions, the news would have been printed in the Daily Prophet within days, regardless of patient-confidentiality laws. I was trying to save Harry from public embarrassment.”

Percival Dumbledore said, “Ri-i-ight, you wanted to spare Harry Potter from public embarrassment. You were not at all worried about hard questions being asked publicly to Harry’s magical guardian—namely, you.”

Hermione said, “Headmaster, you do remember, I hope, that when Harry was a third-year, most of the second-year boys and a few of the first-year boys were taller than him. I think Harry would have chosen the public embarrassment, if it meant he no longer had a short height that made him a freak.”

“The past is past, Miss Granger,” the headmaster said with twinkling eyes. “No use to dwell on it.”

At this moment, when four people in the group were angry at the long-bearded fifth member of the group, the sixth member of the group, Luna Lovegood, spoke dreamily. “Nobody has asked me whether the spell I cast was an accident. Everyone assumes it was.”

Amid gasps, and with his own face looking shocked, Percival Dumbledore asked, “Local Miss Lovegood, did you, or did you not, turn your Harry into a statue on accident?”

Luna made the rocking-hand gesture. “I did not know that Harry Potter would become a statue. But my Sight told me that my Feyonshlangeh spell would do something to Harry Potter when I cast it—something that would help his life. After my Sight told me this, I cast Feyonshlangeh at the instant I did, in the precise direction I did, quite deliberately.”

****

One second later

Hermione yelled, “Luna, how could you?”

Other-Hermione said, “I’m not familiar with the Feyonshlangeh spell, beyond that the Feyon prefix means that it’s a Fey spell. What does the spell do?”

Luna replied, “It’s a spell whose target is not people, animals, plants or inanimate objects; its target is jinxes, hexes and curses. What Feyonshlangeh does is to change the spell that has been cast, into a random Parseltongue spell. Only someone with Sight can cast the Feyonshlangeh spell accurately, because both the Feyonshlangeh spell and the target-spell are moving at 74 feet per second.”

Hermione huffed. “This tells us how you cast your spell, but not why.”

“Did I not explain this? Apologies. My Sight told me that a Great Good would result, but not a Greater Good, because Harry Potter would not be harmed when all was said and done.”

The three Summoned magicals asked Hermione and Luna for their recollections of those few seconds when Harry, Voldemort and Luna all had spells flying. Nobody asked the headmaster for his recollections; he looked annoyed by this slight.

Then Other-Hermione said to Hermione, “Let me summarise what you saw, during those few seconds and afterwards. Local-Luna’s spell transformed Voldemort’s Killing Curse into a Parseltongue spell, midflight. The Parseltongue spell was light blue, and it petrified Local-Harry, but he still has his life force. But Local-Luna doesn’t know what was the random Parseltongue spell that hit Local-Harry.”

Luna said, “Not so. My Sight has told me the name of the Parseltongue spell, but in my head, the name sounds like hissing, and I can’t say it right.”

Tall-Harry said, “The light-blue spell’s Parseltongue name isn’t the problem that it seems to be.” Then he winked at Hermione and Luna.

Meanwhile, Other-Hermione and Other-Dumbledore were grinning at the headmaster as though they knew a secret that he did not know, neener-neener-neener.

“Tell me what you are planning,” the headmaster demanded.

The headmaster’s counterpart replied with mock-sadness, “Albus, I am afraid we must refuse to answer your question, because the answer would only distress you. We are refusing to answer for your own good.”

The headmaster was not having it, Hermione realised. Albus Dumbledore drew his bumpy wand—

—except that Percival Dumbledore already had his own bumpy wand pointed at the headmaster’s face. Other-Dumbledore growled, “Do not try Legilimency on any of us, unless you feel suicidal.”

The headmaster looked so disappointed at his counterpart. “Percival, if you kill me, you lose your only hope of returning home.”

The short-bearded old man laughed scornfully. “You never had any intention of sending cross-timeline Harry home. You intended to keep Harry in your pocket for years, making vague promises of ‘I will send you home soon’—except some little problem always would pop up and would prevent the return ritual from being performed. In the meantime, cross-timeline Harry would dance to your tune always, lest he anger you and you refuse to send him home. How do I know this was your plan? Because it is exactly the sort of scheme I would have worked before November 1981. But whilst we three Summoned magicals cannot go home without your cooperation, you cannot give Voldemort even a nosebleed without our cooperation. Too bad for you, we three kidnap victims are not feeling cooperative with you at all. Now, lower your wand or suffer; I want to make you hurt.”

Tall-Harry said, “My mum made my hands a magical weapon in some situations. I wonder how badly I could hurt you.”

Other-Hermione said, “I’m sure I know at least one curse that you don’t know.”

The headmaster lowered his wand; but then he said, “Percival, we need to work together to defeat Voldemort.”

“Not true, Albus, not true at all. We”—Percival’s hand-gesture meant himself and the two teenagers from his timeline—“need to de-stone Harry, then do for him whatever he needs so that he can vanquish this timeline’s Voldemort. We three, between us, know quite a few tricks to teach your Harry that your Dark Lord knows not, I am sure. So whilst we three are helping Local-Harry, with us ably assisted by the local Miss Granger and the local Miss Lovegood, I suggest, Albus, that you run along and find some Death Eaters so you can give them second chances.”

Tall-Harry said, “Your Voldemort is your problem, Albus Dumbledore. You dragging my arse here doesn’t make him my problem. Especially if Uncle Percival is right and you never intended to send me home.”

Other-Hermione said to the headmaster, “My headmaster—who used to be like you, fifteen years ago—doesn’t trust you, my bushy-haired counterpart doesn’t trust you, and my boyfriend doesn’t trust you. Ergo, I don’t trust you. The local magicals, it seems, treat you like you’re a modern-day Merlin—”

“Not me, no longer,” Hermione muttered.

“—and you’ve become used to such treatment, right? Forget that with us three who were Summoned. The three of us look at you and see a ridiculous-looking nobbler,” con artist.

The headmaster sighed theatrically, then walked out of the hospital wing.

Percival Dumbledore murmured to the four teenagers, “He is only pretending to give up. He wants to know how we plan to revive Local-Harry, because this is what we are choosing to do instead of chasing down Voldemort on his orders. He is confident that since he can command the castle ghosts, house-elves and portraits as spies, he soon will know our plan.”

Hermione asked, “But Headmaster Dumbledore is wrong?”

Other-Hermione replied, “Your Headmaster Dumbledore is wrong. Our Headmaster Dumbledore knows that to defeat cunning evildoers, you must be cunning.”

“Speaking of cunning,” Percival Dumbledore said, whilst smiling slyly, “you lot, walk with me.”

****

The other-timeline Dumbledore led the four students from two timelines, through the castle till the group was walking through a short corridor. Other-Dumbledore stopped in the middle of the corridor.

“Notice something about this corridor? It has no portraits in it.”

Sure enough, the walls were bare, Hermione saw.

Percival Dumbledore said to Tall-Harry, “Please put up a Silencing Cylinder, with no ghost entry allowed and no house-elf entry allowed.”

Tall-Harry hissed, then suddenly the old man and four teenagers were surrounded by a transparent-green cylinder that was seven feet tall.

Percival Dumbledore drew his bumpy wand and waved it about. “No invisible ghosts already inside the cylinder,” he announced. He did more wand-waving. “No house-elves already inside the cylinder.” A third round of wand-waving followed, then, “Tracking charms on us are gone, and listening charms on us are gone. No portraits are watching us. We may speak freely.”

Percival Dumbledore restowed his wand, then he asked Hermione an odd question: “Does your Harry know about Slytherin’s Library?”

Hermione blurted, “Slytherin has a library?”

Hermione felt as joyous as though she were told she would get double presents this Christmas. She fired off questions: “Where is his library? How many books does it have? Can I read them, or are they in Parseltext?”

Tall-Harry grinned at Hermione. Other-Hermione huffed. “Don’t get excited, local-me. All the books in Slytherin’s Chamber are in Parseltext, even the porno novel.”

Then Hermione looked sadly at Percival Dumbledore and said, “I’m sure Harry doesn’t know about Slytherin’s Library. Because if he did know about it, he immediately would drag me out of class to show it to me, Parseltext or no Parseltext.”

Other-Hermione shared a look with Tall-Harry whilst she laughed. “True.”

Percival Dumbledore said, “Harry, bring down the Silencing Cylinder, but bring it back up when I give you the look.”

Tall-Harry nodded, then hissed. The transparent-green cylinder vanished.

Percival Dumbledore said next, “I call upon the Spirit of Hogwarts.”

Hermione saw silently appear in front of Percival Dumbledore, a living statue of a young woman. The Spirit of Hogwarts looked like a moving, talking marble statue of a young woman, and the statue was wearing red-blue-yellow-green striped robes with the Hogwarts crest.

Tall-Harry hissed, and the transparent-green cylinder reappeared. The Spirit of Hogwarts now was inside the cylinder, along with Percival Dumbledore, Tall-Harry, Luna and both Hermiones.

Meanwhile, Other-Hermione was explaining to Hermione about the Spirit of Hogwarts: “ ‘She’ is a magical construct, but is more sentient than a magical painting. She is the facilitator for the magic of the castle—or in nonmagical terms, she is the castle’s magical operating system.”

Now the marble-statue woman with the four-colour robes was looking at the five human magicals in confusion. “You, sir, have the headmaster’s magical signature, which cannot be faked or duplicated, but you look completely different than he. You are not using a glamour. I see two young witches with identical faces and identical magical signatures. This is impossible. The young wizard has the magical signature of Harry James Potter, but he is taller than Harry James Potter and he is healthy. What is going on?”

Other-Dumbledore answered, “Before I answer you, please send away any invisible ghosts who are nearby and any invisible house-elves who are nearby.”

“Done,” said the Spirit of Hogwarts. “I ask again: What is going on?”

Percival Dumbledore said, “Please call me Percival Dumbledore. Headmaster Albus Dumbledore conducted a ritual today. How much do you know about it?”

“Only that the ritual was completed 113 minutes after it began, and that the ritual did not use Dark magic.”

Percival Dumbledore looked over his shoulder at the teenagers whilst he raised his voice: “The thing to know about the Spirit of Hogwarts is that she does not follow the headmaster’s orders, she follows the Founders’ orders. This distinction is about to matter.”

Then the short-bearded Headmaster Dumbledore turned back to face the Spirit of Hogwarts. “We three”—he gestured to show whom he meant—“came from a timeline in which I realised two things in November 1981 that your Albus Percival Dumbledore has not realised yet. As a result, our timeline’s Harry Potter vanquished the Dark Lord in June 1992, with the help of myself, another wizard and the goblins. The ritual that Albus Dumbledore performed today, Summoned our timeline’s Harry Potter here without his knowledge or consent. Our timeline’s Miss Granger and I chose to go with Harry when he was Summoned. Albus’s ritual was not Dark, true, but in these circumstances it was criminal—kidnapping.”

“Agreed. Headmaster Dumbledore has committed a criminal act, which means that special rules by the Founders shall be followed now: I shall work in secret to aid you against him. Am I correct that you are the headmaster of Hogwarts in your timeline, and you have worked with the Spirit of Hogwarts in your timeline?”

“Indeed so.”

“What is it you wish from me?”

“Are you aware that Harry Potter of this timeline has been turned into a statue?”

“Yes, since seven days ago.”

“The immediate goal of us three is to remove the statue-magic from Harry Potter. To do this, we plan to visit Slytherin’s Library. We three know the location of Slytherin’s Library, but local Harry Potter and local Albus Dumbledore do not know where it is. But as soon as our group goes to Slytherin’s Library, we create a big problem.”

“What is the big problem?”

“Before November 1981, if I had had access to Slytherin’s Library, I would have decided that the entire library was Dark, and I would have vanished every single Parseltext book as quickly as I could, for the Greater Good. Fortunately for my timeline, long before Harry discovered Slytherin’s Library and showed it to me—”

“And to me,” said Other-Hermione.

“—I had reformed. So Slytherin’s Library in my timeline is intact, with all its however-many books.”

The Spirit of Hogwarts said, “This timeline’s Slytherin’s Library has 3 867 Parseltext books in it.”

Hermione moaned.

Percival Dumbledore continued, “After we use Slytherin’s Library to find a spell that will destatuefy local Harry Potter, I want for my timeline’s Harry Potter and myself to take your Harry Potter to Slytherin’s Library and to teach him spells to defeat your Voldemort. Alas, as soon as your Harry Potter knows where Slytherin’s Library is, your Headmaster Dumbledore can press your Harry Potter to tell him where Slytherin’s Library is. This would be disastrous. The boy has enough grief in his life already, thanks to Albus Dumbledore; we should not make the boy responsible for defending a thousand-year-old library from a self-righteous headmaster.”

“How do I prevent this potential disaster?” the Spirit of Hogwarts asked.

“Block the castle wards from reporting the locations of the five you see here—and likewise hide the location of local Harry Potter, as soon as he no longer is a statue. Even if all of us are standing two feet behind Albus Dumbledore, when he asks ‘Where are they?’, I ask that the castle wards tell him, ‘None of them are in the castle.’ ”

Hermione said angrily, “Hogwarts is between terms till 1 September. None of us five should be here, we all should be at home. So since we shouldn’t be here, the headmaster has no good reason for knowing where in the castle we are. He wanting to know our locations because he’s nosy is not a good reason!”

“This is a good plan,” the Spirit of Hogwarts said to Percival Dumbledore. “I shall make it so.”

Hermione felt a stinging sensation on her left wrist. She looked down; her left wrist now had a black A on it. Percival Dumbledore, Tall-Harry and Other-Hermione now each had a black B on his/her left wrist; Luna’s left wrist was unmarked.

The Spirit of Hogwarts said, “Now I can distinguish you from others in the castle, even with pairs of you in the castle having identical magical signatures. You five are now invisible to the wards. I shall order a house-elf to follow you about so that I will know where you are in the castle; but this house-elf will not report to the headmaster, and will refuse to answer if the headmaster questions him.”

“This works,” Percival Dumbledore said.

Fifteen seconds later, the Spirit of Hogwarts had been politely thanked and had vanished, and the transparent-green cylinder was gone for the second time.

Other-Hermione asked Other-Dumbledore, “Are we going to Slytherin’s Library now? Local-Hermione is eager to see it.”

Grinning Tall-Harry said to Hermione, “Before you get to see Slytherin’s Library, I need to ask you: How well do you get on with Moaning Myrtle?”

Chapter Text

Still Friday, 26th June

Tall-Harry now was headed for the lavatory where he could enter what Hermione called “the Chamber of Secrets”—but what the three Summoned magicals and the Spirit of Hogwarts called “Slytherin’s Chamber.”

Speaking of the Spirit of Hogwarts, as soon as Hermione, Luna and the three Summoned magicals entered Myrtle’s loo, the five magicals found both the Spirit of Hogwarts and Moaning Myrtle waiting for them.

****

Percival Dumbledore cleared his throat. “Ahem, Spirit of Hogwarts, I have a request, one I forgot to make earlier.”

“Go on.”

“I ask permission for the five of us, plus Local-Harry when he is destatuefied, to be allowed to Apparate to, from, and within Hogwarts. I request this so we five can help Local-Harry, and so Local-Harry can fight Voldemort.”

Luna said, “It doesn’t matter for me, Percival Dumbledore. It shall be next February before I can apply for an Apparation license.”

The Spirit of Hogwarts said to Tall-Harry, “You and our Harry Potter both are too young to be issued an Apparation license.”

Tall-Harry shrugged. “I’ve been illegally Apparating since I was eight. It could save my life someday. Death Eaters don’t obey the law, so why should I?”

The Spirit of Hogwarts looked at Percival Dumbledore and said, “I grant permission for four of you five, and our Harry Potter, to Apparate to, from, and within Hogwarts.”

“Thank you,” Percival Dumbledore said. “Now, shall we do what we came here to do?”

****

All this time, Myrtle was looking like she would rather be haunting a stopped-up toilet than be floating next to the Spirit of Hogwarts.

Now the Spirit of Hogwarts ordered Myrtle, “You shall not inform the school headmaster, or any other Being whom you do not see here in this room now, about this group visiting Slytherin’s Chamber. If Headmaster Dumbledore questions you, lie, telling him that you know nothing, have seen nothing and have heard nothing.”

Sullenly the ghost-girl replied, “I obey.”

Hermione said to Myrtle, “What we’re doing today is to help Harry. Our world’s Harry, not this Harry. Our Harry has been turned into a statue.”

Suddenly sullen Myrtle was bubbly Myrtle. “If it’s to help Harry, I’ll lie like a thief talking to a bobby. I was in Ravenclaw because I was smart, remember, and smart people can lie well. You watch, I’ll tell lie after falsehood after untruth, and the headmaster will believe them all!”

“Very good,” said the Spirit of Hogwarts, nodding.

Then the Spirit of Hogwarts informed the group, “Headmaster Albus Dumbledore put a Recording Charm by the ‘snake faucet,’ so that when our timeline’s Harry Potter spoke the Parseltongue password, the password would be recorded and Headmaster Dumbledore could enter Slytherin’s Chamber. This goes against Founder Slytherin’s explicit order, ‘Only a Parselmouth may enter my chamber,’ so I vanished the Recording Charm, and shall do so again, whenever needed.”

The three Summoned magicals looked puzzled. Percival Dumbledore asked, “Why did Albus Dumbledore think Local-Harry would enter Slytherin’s Chamber, and why would Albus want to sneak into Slytherin’s Chamber when Local-Harry was not nearby?”

Hermione replied, “At the end of second year, Harry went into the Chamber of Secrets to rescue Ginny Weasley, a first-year girl who was possessed by a horcrux-version of Voldemort. Harry was bit by the basilisk, and would have died, except Fawkes wept phoenix-tears on his wound. But in the meantime, Harry killed the basilisk with the Sword of Gryffindor, which Fawkes had brought to him, then Harry killed the horcrux-shade of Tom Riddle and Harry rescued Ginny.”

Other-Hermione asked, “Who helped Local-Harry kill the basilisk? Your Harry was twelve then.”

Hermione answered, “Fawkes blinded the basilisk, so its stare was no longer dangerous, but mainly the battle was boy v. basilisk.”

Other-Hermione looked at Other-Dumbledore and said, “So Local-Harry now owns this Gazer’s carcass; and a rendered basilisk is worth serious money.” Percival Dumbledore nodded.

Other-Hermione then asked Hermione, “Does your Harry know? That he owns the basilisk’s carcass and can sell it?”

“No. Dumbledore told Harry nothing about this.” Then Hermione asked the three Summoned magicals, “Do you think this is why the headmaster wants to go into the Chamber of Secrets? So he can sell the dead basilisk, then pocket the money?”

Percival Dumbledore nodded. “I can see my ‘twin’ doing exactly this, if he could convince himself that the money would go to ‘good causes.’ ” Percival Dumbledore rolled his eyes.

Other-Dumbledore then asked Hermione, “Why did Albus make Fawkes deliver the Sword of Gryffindor to your Harry, instead of Fawkes bringing Albus himself?”

Hermione shrugged. “I don’t know, I was petrified at the time.” The three Summoned magicals stared. Hermione then said, “I suppose the headmaster had more important things to do at the time than to fight a teenaged Dark Lord himself. After all, the headmaster had Harry for that.”

Percival Dumbledore’s face turned white. ‘A teenaged Dark Lord’? Somehow the Diary-horcrux had been moved from Malfoy Manor to within Hogwarts Castle? The Hogwarts wards against Dark Magic should have blocked this!”

Hermione shrugged. “If the castle wards were made too finicky, then Potions Master Severus Snape would never be able to enter the castle. He’s a Marked Death Eater, remember.”

“Merlin!” Percival Dumbledore exclaimed. “My ‘twin’ is not only a fool, he is a negligent and dangerous fool.”

Then Percival Dumbledore asked Hermione, “How many times has Local-Harry had to fight for his life since he came to Hogwarts in September 1991?”

Hermione said, “Let’s see, Harry fought a mountain troll in first year that was trying to kill me, Harry fought Voldemort-possessed Quirrell in first year and the Diary version of Voldemort in second year. Harry was almost killed by Dementors three times during third year. It was believed that so-called ‘escaped mass-murderer Sirius Black’ was trying to kill Harry in third year. Fourth year, Harry fought a nesting-mother Hungarian Horntail dragon, plus whatever monsters were in the Third Task maze. Also fourth year, Harry fought resurrected Voldemort. The summer after fourth year, Dolores Umbridge sent two Dementors to kill Harry; but fortunately, he had learnt the Patronus Charm in third year. Harry fought Voldemort in the Ministry Atrium a week ago. At best, ten times Harry has had to fight for his life since 1 September 1991.”

“And Albus did nothing to prevent Harry from being put in danger, or to help him escape the danger?”

Hermione snarled, “Not only did the headmaster never help Harry or save Harry, the smug arrgh forced fourteen-year-old Harry to be the fourth Champion in the deadly Triwizard Tournament, after Harry declared publicly that he had not put his name in the Goblet!”

****

From Moaning Myrtle’s loo, the five magicals made their way into the Chamber of Secrets/Slytherin’s Chamber.

Hermione easily could have lived her entire life without seeing the hundreds of rat skeletons at the bottom of the conjured stairs. Ditto, once Hermione was past the round door with the slithering-metal-snake locks, she did not enjoy seeing the sixteen identical stone statues of angry cobras with their hoods spread.

All five magicals stopped and stared at the carcass of the sixty-foot basilisk. Remarkably to Hermione, the three-years-dead basilisk corpse was in pristine condition.

Hermione was shocked that the three other-timeline magicals mourned the death of the basilisk, whom they called Gazer. Apparently Gazer had been harmless, only potentially deadly, when the three magicals had interacted with her in their timeline. But then, in their timeline, no so-called “Heir of Slytherin” had shown up and had used Gazer to make trouble.

Hermione thought the passphrase to make Giant-Slytherin-Head’s stone mouth open, Speak to me, Slytherin, Greatest of the Hogwarts Four, was hilarious.

Stone-Slytherin’s jaw dropped, creating a stone tunnel that was big enough for a sixty-foot basilisk to slither through. The tunnel also was big enough that everyone could walk through it, with only tall Percival Dumbledore needing to bow his head.

Once the five magicals walked through the tunnel, they found themselves in an enormous room with a strange smell. Not only was the floor big in the smelly room, but the ceiling was high. Tall-Harry explained that when Gazer had been in enchanted sleep, this had been her bedchamber.

The left wall of the huge room had a door-sized cutout. The five magicals walked through the door-hole, with Tall-Harry taking the lead. By the time Hermione entered what looked like a medieval bachelor flat, Tall-Harry was arguing in Parseltongue with a portrait of a silver-metal king cobra in grass. The cobra’s hood was spread, and Hermione thought the silver cobra looked scary.

****

The portrait-cobra hissed, “§Look at all the lackbrain intruders. One of them smells like an unsociable Ravenclaw, and the other four smell like impulsive Gryffindors.§”

Tall-Harry sneered as he hissed, “§Shows what you know, legless one. I am a Gryffindor, yes, but I also speak the language of cobras—and the language of a grass snake such as you.§”

“§Very well, you and your group may enter. Even though your females are ugly.§”

****

As soon as the five magicals walked into the sitting room of the flat, sconces that were mounted on the sitting room’s left and right walls, and a fireplace in the centre of the sitting room’s far wall, all lit themselves.

Tall-Harry led the other four magicals past the portrait-cobra to the fireplace. Near the fireplace was a green-upholstered sofa that was wide enough for three adults; and a green-upholstered chair that was placed so it faced the sofa but also received fireplace light from the right rear. The three witches sat on the sofa; Percival Dumbledore sat in the chair.

By the fireplace was a door (to the left) and a full bookcase (to the right).

The door had no mechanical door-lever to open it, but instead had on the bedchamber side of the door, a simple wooden handle to pull it open, and nothing on the sitting-room side of the door. However, pushing on the door from the sitting-room side did not open the door—until Tall-Harry cast Alohomora on the door. (Which worked, magically, because the door had been “locked” with a sliding bronze bolt on the bedchamber side.)

Once Tall-Harry had pushed the door wide open, Hermione saw that what was on the other side of the door was a bedchamber. An enormous bed with a Slytherin-green canopy was covered with a Slytherin-green coverlet; the green-upholstered wooden furniture, elsewhere in the bedchamber, looked like something Hermione had seen in medieval artwork.

Tall-Harry said, “Everything you see in the bedchamber is a thousand years old. But either Salazar cast quite powerful Preservation Charms, or house-elves pop in here every so often and renew the Preservation Charms. This thousand-year-old bed has a feather mattress and feather pillows, which takes getting used to, but the bed is comfortable to sleep on.”

Hermione noticed that Other-Hermione now was looking at the floor, whilst blushing scarlet.

Tall-Harry shut and Colloportus-locked the bedchamber door.

Then Tall-Harry asked Hermione and Luna, “Do you notice anything peculiar about the fireplace?”

Other-Hermione, who was sitting on the green sofa at the time, huffed. “Harry, stop! Local-Hermione hates guessing games, or otherwise being denied information.”

Then Other-Hermione said to Hermione and Luna: “The fireplace is magical in that it lights itself when people enter, and the fire goes out when they leave. But other than this, it is a regular fireplace, not a Floo fireplace. Floo fireplaces were invented in—”

“—the year 1226,” both Hermiones said.

Tall-Harry walked over to the bookcase, then turned to face the others. “This bookcase has about a hundred Parseltext books in it, including a porno novel. Fifty years ago, in both my timeline and this one, Tom Riddle stood where I’m standing, picked out books to read, then sat by the fireplace and read the books. Blimey, he probably read the Parseltext books whilst sitting in the same comfy chair where Uncle Percival sits now. Anyway, all the Parseltongue spells and curses that Voldemort knows, came from this bookcase here. Whilst some of the spells here are Parseltext versions of spells that are written in Hogwarts textbooks in English or Latin, most of the spells here are unique, and not only because they’re spoken in Parseltongue.”

Hermione said, “This gives Voldemort quite the advantage.”

Tall-Harry, Other-Hermione and Percival-Dumbledore grinned at each other. Then Tall-Harry said, “But compared to Slytherin’s Library, this bookcase is nothing. Come.”

Tall-Harry led the others back into the large and high-ceilinged (and smelly) “snake room.” (Behind the group, in Slytherin’s Suite, the fires in the wall sconces and in the fireplace all went out.)

In the “snake room,” Tall-Harry hissed. Suddenly Hermione saw a door appear in the back wall, and a second door appear in the right wall.

Tall-Harry looked at Hermione and Luna, and said, “The Parseltongue charm I just cast was Reveal hidden doors. Tom Riddle doesn’t know this charm, so he doesn’t know that these two doors exist. That door”—he pointed to the back-wall door—“leads to a combination potions lab and ritual floor. Local-Hermione, I tell you this for your future reference; I’ve no plans to visit that room today. On the other hand, this door”—Tall-Harry gestured towards the previously hidden door on the right-side wall—is what we came to visit.”

Tall-Harry stepped in front of that other door. Over his shoulder, he said to the group, “Alohomora won’t open this door.” Right afterwards, he hissed. Only after the hissing stopped did Tall-Harry put his hand on the door-lever.

But Tall-Harry did not turn the door-lever. Instead, he said to Hermione and to Luna, “Now I’ll call for a particular house-elf because soon I’ll need him for a cleaning job, and I need him to help Local-Harry.”

Then Tall-Harry spoke to the air. “I call House Potter head house-elf Greyclay.”

****

Pop. To Hermione, the house-elf looked older than Dobby, but younger than Kreacher. Greyclay was wearing an elf-sized grey tuxedo, complete with black cummerbund, that had the Potter crest on the left breast. The tuxedoed house-elf said, “I be Greyclay. Greyclay be so glad that...”

Greyclay stopped speaking for several seconds, as he stared at Tall-Harry in confusion. Then Greyclay said, “You bes Harry Potter, Heir Potter, yet you bes not Harry Potter, Heir Potter. How bes this?”

Tall-Harry said, “I am Heir Potter from a different timeline. This timeline’s Heir Potter has been turned into a marble statue, but we believe we can cure him. Now, am I correct that you’ve not been called by any member of the Potter family since 1981? How is your magic? Do you need a magical injection from me?”

The house-elf looked embarrassed. “Greyclay not has beed near a Potter wizard or witch in years. Greyclay bes magically weak.”

“Let me fix this,” Tall-Harry said. He put both his hands on top of Greyclay’s head. “Injecting magic now,” Tall-Harry announced.

Tall-Harry’s hands, and Greyclay’s entire body, both glowed for a minute. Hermione saw Greyclay get stronger.

As soon as Tall-Harry removed his hands from Greyclay’s head, the house-elf asked, “How can Greyclay serve other-world Heir Potter?”

****

Tall-Harry replied, “First of all, mark this place, which is just outside Slytherin’s Library in Hogwarts. Soon your Harry Potter will want you to bring him directly here, and often.”

“Done,” Greyclay declared.

“Secondly—stand by, Greyclay. We’re about to need you for a major cleaning job. But please don’t act till I tell you to.”

Then Tall-Harry opened the library door, saying, “Local-Hermione, Local-Luna, you two go in first. There is something important that I want you to see, before the rest of us disturb it.”

Hermione heard, behind her, a huff, then the smack of hand-flesh slapping arm-flesh. “Honestly, Harry. Local-Hermione hates guessing games just like I do. Whatever it is that’s so special about the library, straight-out tell her!”

“No. What is special about Slytherin’s Library is important, but its importance won’t seem so important to her if she’s told it, rather than she sees it for herself.”

Other-Hermione huffed again, but said nothing else. Hermione shrugged, then looked at Luna and said, “Come, the mystery awaits us.”

When Hermione stepped through the door and saw Salazar Slytherin’s hidden library, she started breathing hard—which made her cough and choke. Beside Hermione, Luna also began to cough fiercely.

Behind Hermione and Luna, Other-Hermione incanted, “Créez une bulle d’air propre autour de chaque tête, deux fois.” (Create a bubble of clean air around each head, two times.) Sure enough, now Hermione and Luna had their heads and upper necks each enclosed in an 18-inch-diameter bubble of air. Hermione and Luna both stopped coughing and choking.

Behind Hermione, Tall-Harry called out, “Now that you two no longer are distracted by choking dust, and before Greyclay cleans the library, do you see what I want you to notice?”

Hermione looked about. Slytherin’s Library was much bigger than she had expected; beside Hermione, Luna blurted, “This is bigger than the Ravenclaw common-room library!”

Hermione saw many bookshelves, which were full of green-cover books. Between the bookshelves and the door was a huge table that was surrounded by many chairs; on top of the huge table, in the table’s centre, was a slim, green-cover book.

But what Hermione also noticed, as she looked about, was the dust. There was so much dust on the floor that it swirled round Hermione’s feet and legs when she walked. In the library, every surface that Hermione could see, whether horizontal or vertical, was dust-covered.

Every horizontal surface in the library—the floor, the tabletop, the chair seats, the tops of the chairs and the chair armrests—all were covered with a coating of grey dust that was thicker than Hermione ever had seen before. Vertical surfaces—the green spines of books, the edges of wooden bookshelves—had a greyish tinge.

But Hermione did not see whatever it was that Tall-Harry wanted her to see, and this fiercely frustrated her. She huffed.

However, it seemed that Luna had a guess about what Tall-Harry wanted her to see. She took three steps forwards (as dust swirled round her feet and legs), then she turned in place a full 360 degrees. “I see no footprints on the floor except Hermione’s and my footprints,” Luna announced. Then she turned and walked up to the big table. At the table, she announced, “I see no handprints on the table.”

Finally Hermione figured it out: “Nobody has been in this room in a thousand years.”

“Exactly,” Tall-Harry said. “Greyclay, get rid of all the dust here, please. I’m giving you a challenge: a thousand years of dust in that library is covering everything.”

After Greyclay had vanished all the dust, and had elf-popped away, Other-Hermione incanted, “Terminez le sort, deux fois”—End the spell, twice. (This vanished Hermione’s and Luna’s Bubble-Head Charms.) Then the three Summoned magicals stepped into Slytherin’s Library, joining Hermione and Luna.

Percival Dumbledore said to Hermione and to Luna, “Nobody has been in this library in a thousand years, true. Much more importantly, Tom Marvolo Riddle never has been in this library. Whatever information that you two and Local-Harry find here is information the Dark Lord knows not.”

“Not quite true,” Tall-Harry corrected. “I’ve found a few Parseltext spells that are mentioned in both the Slytherin’s Suite bookcase and in this library. But I’d say that at least 99 percent of what is written here, is not written in the Hogwarts library, in any language, and isn’t written-up in any book in the Slytherin Suite bookcase. Meaning, there are tonnes of spells for Local-Harry to learn soon, that local Mr Ugly Dark Lord never can know.” Tall-Harry grinned wolfishly.

****

The green-cover book in the middle of the big table was titled Ssss Ssss Sssss—or that’s what it looked like to Hermione.

Tall-Harry tapped the slim, green-cover book with a knuckle, looked everyone else in the eyes, and said, “This book is titled Read This First. The first spell I learnt in here, and the most useful, is Conjure Translations. When I cast this charm in Parseltongue on a green-cover book, the charm creates a blue-cover copy, all the words of which are in modern English and in a readable font.”

“Thank God,” Hermione said with feeling.

“I agree completely,” Other-Hermione said.

Tall-Harry grinned at both Hermiones, then said, “But this book has another useful Parseltongue charm in it that I plan to use right now.”

Again Tall-Harry looked into everyone else’s eyes. “The unknown Parseltongue spell that petrified Local-Harry into a statue was light blue, right? The spell I’m about to cast is ‘I summon every book containing the text, begin one, “petrify” or “statue,” end one, and “blue” within fifty words of each other.’ ” Then Tall-Harry hissed.

Five green-cover books flew off their respective shelves, then flew across the library and over the big table, where they hovered. Tall-Harry tapped all five floating green-cover books with his wand; all five books moved over the table, then slowly dropped, making a stack of five green-cover books on the table.

Tall-Harry pointed his wand at the stack of five green-cover books, then hissed as he made a reverse-D wand movement. Beside those five green-cover books appeared a stack of five blue-cover books; each book in the blue stack had height-width-depth dimensions identical to the book’s counterpart in the green stack.

****

Five people were present, and on the table were five blue-cover books, so each magical person grabbed a blue-cover book to eyeball-search.

It took only thirteen minutes for the group to find the Parseltongue spell that (Local-)Harry had been hit with—

Hex: Petrify into Museum Statue

Colour of spell: light blue

Description: Petrifies someone into marble, creating a statue with a cylindrical marble base. The victim is put into stasis an instant before being transfigured, so the hex is not deadly. When the hex is reversed, the victim is unchanged from before and is unaware of time passing.

Reversal spell: Not a Museum Statue

As soon as Tall-Harry hissed the light-blue spell’s name in Parseltongue, §Petrify into Museum Statue§, Luna pointed at Tall-Harry and said, “That’s it, that’s the snakey spell-name in my head!”

****

One minute later

The five people walked out of Slytherin’s Library. Tall-Harry hissed, then told Hermione and Luna, “I just locked the library door and the door to the potions lab-slash-ritual floor.”

Tall-Harry hissed a second time, and both locked doors melted into their respective walls.

Ten minutes later, the five magicals had walked out of Stone-Slytherin’s mouth, had walked out of Slytherin’s Chamber (or, the Chamber of Secrets), were out of Moaning Myrtle’s restroom, and had walked into the hospital wing.

Now Tall-Harry, with Hermione and Other-Hermione on either side of him, was facing Statue-Harry.

Luna was standing next to Hermione; Percival Dumbledore was standing next to Other-Hermione.

Madam Pomfrey was absent because she was doing parchmentwork in her office; Headmaster Albus Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen.

Tall-Harry, whilst looking at Statue-Harry, pointed his wand.

Chapter Text

Earlier: Friday, 19th June

In the Ministry Atrium, Voldemort cast a green Killing Curse. Harry quickly stepped sideways, out of the path of the curse. But then the Killing Curse changed its path a little and its colour a lot, and hit Harry on the right side of his chest.

The instant that the light-blue spell hit Harry, everything changed.

****

One week later (to everyone except Harry): Friday, 26th June

Suddenly Harry was facing a funhouse-mirror version of himself (meaning, someone who looked like him, but who was a foot taller and was well fed). Funhouse-mirror Harry was pointing his wand at Harry. Nearby, Harry saw two Hermiones?

Harry still had his right arm extended and his wand pointed forwards. One of the Hermiones yelled, “Harry, everything’s okay, put your wand down!”

Less than a second later, the yelling Hermione—who for some reason had a black A on her left wrist—rushed forwards and pressed herself against Harry. He was expecting a hug; instead, he got a kiss on the lips.

A long kiss. Surprised Harry easily decided to kiss back. Harry wrapped his arms, including his wand-arm, round Hermione.

Meanwhile, the part of Harry’s brain that recognised smells, told Harry that he was in the hospital wing.

When Hermione finally broke the kiss, Harry looked about. He was in the hospital wing, sure enough; but he was not on a bed, or even by a bed, he was standing in a corner of the room. Hermione was in front of Harry, hugging him now, and funhouse-mirror Harry was behind Hermione. Near this other Harry Potter was Luna Lovegood and a second Hermione—whose hair was wavy, not bushy.

Watching everyone and everything was a blue-eyed old man, who was smiling gently. It was those blue eyes that told Harry that this old man had to be Dumbledore’s twin—Harry had seen those eyes, from only a few feet away, many times before. Now Harry thought, How did Dumbledore get a twin? And why did Dumbledore’s twin cut off his hair and his beard, and put on not-ridiculous robes?

Anyone else who experienced what Harry just had experienced would be asking many stupid questions: What’s going on? Why am I in the hospital wing? Who are these people? What’s been happening? What’s going on with Dumbledore’s twin? Hermione, why did you kiss me as soon as you saw me?

But Harry did not question-bomb Hermione with many stupid questions. Instead, he asked only one question—

“Bugger, what the bloody hell has happened to me this time?”

“Language, Harry,” both Hermiones said.

****

Meanwhile, in Malfoy Manor’s ballroom

Snape walked into Lord Voldemort’s throne room (a.k.a the Malfoy Manor ballroom). Snape was obeying his Dark Mark summons.

Lord Voldemort asked him, “What news do you have about the Order of the Phoenix?” Snape just had come from a meeting of that group.

Snape replied, “Only the usual bloviations and blather from Albus. He assured the members that, even though he brought the other Potter here from another timeline, the members of the Order still are important to Albus’s plans, even though the Order never does anything worthwhile and never will.”

“Walk with me, Snape,” Lord Voldemort commanded his minion. The two of them walked out of the ballroom.

Voldemort was frightened, but he did his best to look and sound confident when he said, “I have been thinking about that Potter boy from another timeline whom you told me about.”

The boy who killed me in his world when he was only eleven. Killed me forever, because somehow my horcruxes had been destroyed beforehand.

Voldemort added aloud, whilst trying to sound confident and matter-of-fact, “I also have thought about the bearded fool from that world, who apparently is now neither bearded, nor a fool.”

Snape nodded.

Voldemort ordered, “You are to kill them both, and their deaths are to completely surprise our world’s bearded fool. If you do this successfully, you shall be rewarded. Should you be arrested, Narcissa will organise a barrister who shall argue that you were Imperiused. This argument, plus some galleons discretely handed out, will get you acquitted. However, if the bearded fool hears even a whisper before those two other-world wizards die, your trial in front of the Wizengamot shall be the least of your worries.”

“It shall be as you command,” Snape said as he bowed low. Snape’s voice gave no clue how he felt about his new assignment.

****

Back in the hospital wing

Harry, only seconds after seemingly being transported from the Ministry Atrium to the Hogwarts hospital wing, had been kissed by one of two Hermiones. Luna Lovegood, another Harry Potter, another Albus Dumbledore and the other Hermione watched Harry be kissed.

The Hermione who had kissed Harry said to him, “You ask what has happened to you. The short version is, a spell turned you into a marble statue for an entire week. The spell also put you in stasis. Today is the 26th of June. Now that you’re cured, all of us need to get out of the castle now. This minute.”

Harry said, “I don’t understand, Hermione. Who are these extra people? Can we trust—?”

“Harry! We don’t have time now! The headmaster dragged those three here from another timeline; I’ll explain later or we’ll explain later, okay? We need to go, or Albus Dumbledore will trap us all in the castle.”

Dumbledore-but-not-Dumbledore gave Harry a look that asked, Will you be quiet until the crisis is over? Then not-ridiculous Dumbledore said, “I call upon the Spirit of Hogwarts.”

A marble statue of a young woman appeared, except that this statue could move and talk, and was wearing House-colours four-colour robes. She said, “How can the Spirit of Hogwarts help Other-Timeline Headmaster Dumbledore?”

Not-ridiculous Dumbledore answered, “Harry James Potter no longer is a statue. Please make him invisible to the castle wards, as we discussed.”

The marble-statue woman spoke no incantations and made no gestures; she simply said “Done.”

Immediately Harry felt a sting on his left wrist. He looked down, and saw a black A printed on his wrist.

Harry then noticed that funhouse-mirror Harry, not-ridiculous Dumbledore and wavy-hair Hermione each had a B on their respective left wrists.

Meanwhile, not-ridiculous Dumbledore was saying, “If there is anything that is interfering with our group being elf-popped out of the castle, please remove the interference.”

The marble-statue woman replied, “With you invisible to the castle wards, nothing stops you from coming and going as you please.”

“Good to know,” not-ridiculous Dumbledore said.

Funhouse-mirror Harry raised his voice and said seriously, “I call here the four House Potter house-elves.”

Pop-p-p-pop. Suddenly four house-elves were standing in front of Other-Harry. Harry noticed that the house-elf who was wearing a grey tuxedo stood straight, whilst the other three house-elves—who were wearing little servant uniforms—had stooped shoulders and shaky legs.

Harry thought, ”House Potter”? I own house-elves? Hermione will kill me!

But then Harry noticed something that confused him: Wavy-hair Hermione was looking at the house-elves calmly, not angrily, and she did not begin to rant about house-elf slavery.

Meanwhile, confused-looking Other-Dumbledore was asking Other-Harry, “What are you planning?”

Other-Harry replied, “I plan to teach this timeline’s Harry how to charge up the Potter elves who are low on magic, then the Potter elves will take all of us to Potter Manor.”

Harry thought, I have a Potter Manor?

Other-Dumbledore said, “The first part of your plan is good—three of these elves clearly need magical injections. But the Potter Manor part of your plan might not work.”

“Oh?”

Other-Dumbledore now addressed the tuxedoed house-elf: “Greyclay, is Potter Manor suitable to be lived in now, or is it still damaged and its wards down?”

Harry saw the tuxedoed house-elf (Greyclay?) reach up with both hands, as though he wanted to pull on his ears, but then the house-elf let his hands fall. “Potter Manor bes needs repairs before Lord Harry can lives there,” he said sadly.

Everyone went quiet whilst Other-Harry taught Harry how to inject magic into his house-elves. (The trick involved Harry laying both hands on a house-elf’s head, then Harry pushing magic through both hands and into the house-elf, the same way Harry pushed magic through his right hand and into his wand.)

Hermione looked like she was keen to say something whilst Harry was working with three of his four house-elves. But perhaps Hermione noticed that Other-Hermione was calm about the fact that Harry owned house-elves, and wondered why.

Whilst Harry was magically refilling three house-elves, nobody amongst the other five magicals, four house-elves and an “alive” marble statue spoke a word for a time. Then Hermione said—

“Erm, Harry? Sirius at Grimmauld Place once referred to himself as ‘technically Lord Black,’ and he several times referred to you as ‘my heir’—is it possible that with Sirius now dead, you’re now Lord Black and we could hide out at Grimmauld Place?”

Other-Harry’s face fell. “This timeline’s Sirius is dead?”

Harry sadly replied, “Yeah. To me it happened ten, fifteen minutes ago.”

Both Hermiones hugged Harry.

As soon as the witches broke the hugs, Harry shrugged and said, “I call House Black house-elf Kreacher.”

Pop. “Worthless halfblood master call Kreacher?”

Harry noticed that the three other-timeline magicals scowled, hearing Kreacher’s words. Hermione looked resigned.

Harry glared at Kreacher and asked, “Who is Lord or Lady Black right now?”

Kreacher grinned at Harry and replied, “Not you.”

Harry thought, He’s mindfucking me. Aloud, Harry asked, “What do you not want to tell me?”

Kreacher’s smug grin was replaced with a scowl. “If halfblood master hads weared his Heir Black ring, the Heir Black ring would have bes replaced with the Lord Black ring when the disgrace to family, blood-traitor master died. To becomes Lord Black now, you must do one of two ways. The first way is that you goes to Bladebloody, the Black account manager at Gringotts, and you claims the Lord Black ring. If you not bes worthy, the ring not will gonna shrink to fit you’s finger. The second way is that you goes to the ritual room at Black Manor, and you slams you’s right hand on the upthrust pin in the ritual room. Once the pin has taste you’s blood, you carries out the Ascension Ritual—the words will gonna come to you. Expect you bes tested, and you bes punished if you not bes worthy." Kreacher grinned again.

Harry asked, “Once I am in Grimmauld Place and I am Lord Black, how do I keep Dumbledore out? Not this Dumbledore, the long-bearded one.”

“As Lord Black, you declares the wards reset. This will gonna set the outer wards to one level below War Wards; will gonna activate or deactivate other wards as required, and will gonna make you the sole Secret Keeper for Black Manor. Everyone who he know the Secret now will gonna forget it, including the current long-bearded Secret Keeper.”

Harry ordered Kreacher to elf-pop him to Grimmauld place “without harming me.” Kreacher frowned, hearing this limitation.

****

At Number 12, Grimmauld Place

Once Harry was in Grimmauld Place, he ordered that Kreacher return to the hospital wing and to bring the five other magicals to Grimmauld Place, one at a time. “Kreacher, don’t harm any of them when you bring them from there to here.” Scowling Kreacher obeyed.

When Harry, the other five human magicals, and Kreacher all were in Grimmauld Place, Harry then called the four Potter house-elves to Grimmauld Place.

Other-Dumbledore and Other-Harry, after a quick look round Grimmauld Place, told Kreacher that the place was a pigsty, and Kreacher should be ashamed of himself. Unrepentant Kreacher glared at them.

Fortunately for Harry, he, the other five magicals, and the five house-elves were the only beings in Grimmauld Place at this time. The Order of the Phoenix had been in Grimmauld Place a half-hour earlier, but Albus had ended the meeting, and everyone had left before Harry had arrived.

(Mundungus Fletcher had left Grimmauld Place with some House Black items that had not been his to take. Harry sent Kreacher to fetch those items back.)

Once Kreacher had returned with the stolen items, Harry pointed to a dusty settee and ordered Kreacher, “Sit there till I tell you that you may move round elsewhere. Answer only my call; do not come if Narcissa calls you, or Lucius or Albus or Molly or anyone else—only me. Is this clear? Will you obey?”

Scowling Kreacher, whilst sitting on the settee, replied, “Kreacher unwillingly obeys halfblood master.”

Then Harry went to the ritual room, cleaned all the dried blood off the upthrust pin, and willingly slammed his right hand down on the pin.

Words came to him, and Harry said aloud: “I be the named Black Heir Primary, and the latest Head of House Black be dead. I claim the title of Lord Black; test me as ye would.”

Suddenly, what looked like a crow-Patronus formed several feet away from Harry, floating in the air—not moving, not speaking, but steadily eyeing Harry. Meanwhile, Harry began to unwillingly recall, at high speed, every memory he had, beginning at age eleven.

Eventually Harry remembered Kreacher elf-popping him into Grimmauld Place, then watching Kreacher bring Hermione, Luna, and the three other-timeline magicals (Hermione, Dumbledore and Harry’s alternate) to Grimmauld Place, one at a time. Then Harry’s unwilling recollections stopped.

The Patronus-crow said, “You are brave, you are unselfish, and you can make hard decisions. You are worthy, so you now are Lord Black.”

At the same instant the Patronus-crow disappeared, the Lord Black ring appeared on the middle finger of Harry’s left hand, and Harry felt the Grimmauld Place house-wards settle on him.

Harry used his wand, left-handed, to heal his bleeding right hand. Then Harry’s right hand took back his wand—which Harry then pointed upwards.

Harry declared loudly, “I, Lord Black, declare the Black Manor wards reset.”

Harry felt the house-wards lift off him; but five seconds later, the house-wards settled on him again. The second time, the house-wards felt leaner, free of junk. Harry thought, Dumbledore probably “convinced” Sirius to let Dumbledore “improve” the wards. No wonder they were junk-filled.

Harry’s wand still was pointed upwards. Harry said, “I, Lord Black, reactivate the anti-phoenix wards, with setting ‘Freeze the Bird, Break Arm and Leg Bones of the Bird’s Rider.’ ”

Harry felt those anti-phoenix wards—which Harry somehow knew had not been active for 563 years—settle on him, on top of the house wards and the other wards.

****

When Harry walked out of the ritual room, the other five magicals were looking at him in confusion—even Hermione. “Where are we?” Hermione asked.

When Harry had reset the Black Manor wards, the process had changed the Fidelius Charm on the house, making Harry the new Secret Keeper and removing the old Secret.

Now the wording of the new Fidelius Secret popped into Harry’s head. Aloud, he replied in a clear voice, “The location of the primary House Black property, Black Manor, is at Number 12, Grimmauld Place, in London, England.”

Hermione looked relieved. “Thank you, now I remember.”

Other-Harry said, “Our timeline’s version of this house is cleaner and friendlier than this.” He glared at Kreacher on the settee.

****

Harry, who now was Lord Black, now knew where the Ward Ledger was and why he should write in it. After telling his house-visitors the Fidelius Secret, the next thing Harry did was to walk to the slit in the fireplace where the Ward Ledger was stored, to go to the “Friends” section of the Ward Ledger and to scratch out every name except Hermione’s. So far as Harry could tell, all of Sirius’s “friends” were Order of the Phoenix members. Harry took great pleasure in scratching out the name “Albus Percival Dumbledore (A).”

In the process of scratching out names, Harry lined out the name “Remus J Lupin.” Eventually Harry would write the werewolf’s name back into the Ward Ledger, if Harry was convinced that Lupin was more loyal to James and Lily than to the bearded fool.

Next, Harry wrote down in the Ward Ledger, the names of four of his five visitors under “Friends,” and wrote down “Harry James Potter B” under “Family.”

****

Now that Harry did not need to worry about Albus flame-travelling into Grimmauld Place and magically kidnapping him, Harry ordered the Potter house-elves to fetch Hermione’s and Luna’s student trunks from Gryffindor and from Ravenclaw, respectively. Harry did not send Kreacher to fetch the student trunks; Kreacher still was ordered to sit on the settee.

When the Potter house-elves returned with the girls’ trunks, Harry requested that each witch write a note to her parent(s) that said, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m not going home yet because I’m doing something quite important.”

Luna wrote this passage just as Harry had dictated it; but then she wrote, “Daddy, I am safe from the huffing Higgledy-Piggledies.”

Hermione’s “note” to her parents filled an entire foot of parchment.

But eventually both witches’ notes were written, and both notes were elf-delivered to worried parents.

Now Harry could relax—a bit.

****

Now Harry could relax a bit—or so he thought.

Other-Dumbledore said, “Local Lord Black, there is a vital task that only Kreacher can perform, and you must parole him from that settee, in order for him to perform it.”

“What’s the task?”

Other-Dumbledore walked over to the settee, and conjured a hinged lead box. “Kreacher, somewhere in this house is Slytherin’s Locket. It is infested with the darkest of soul magics—a horcrux. Your master, Regulus Black, ordered you to destroy the horcrux, but you have failed again and again. This bothers you a lot. Is everything I have said so far, true?”

Kreacher said lowly, “Copy of bearded blood-traitor speak truth to Kreacher.”

Other-Dumbledore said to Harry, “Order Kreacher to obey this one order of mine.”

Harry, unable to guess what Other-Dumbledore was about to say, said, “Speak your would-be order, then I’ll decide whether to okay it.”

Other-Dumbledore looked at Kreacher. “Kreacher, fetch Slytherin’s Locket, put it in the lead box, then elf-pop yourself, the lead box and Slytherin’s Locket to Gringotts. Tell whatever goblins you talk to that the new Lord Black wants you to present the infested Locket directly to Director Ragnok. Once you are in the same room with Ragnok, give him the lead box, telling him to bill to the Black Coinage Vault, all expenses for removing the horcrux. Stay with the lead box and Slytherin’s Locket till you see the horcrux removed but the Locket’s original magic left intact, or when Ragnok pledges on goblin honour that the horcrux will be removed later but the Locket’s original magic will be left intact. If Ragnok removes the horcrux from Slytherin’s Locket, then gives Slytherin’s Locket back to you, bring the Locket with you. When Ragnok has given you a pledge on goblin honour, or else you have witnessed the horcrux destroyed, or else you have witnessed the horcrux destroyed and the cleansed Locket has been given to you, return here to the settee.”

Harry looked at Kreacher. “Do what Percival Dumbledore said, just the way he said to do it.”

Kreacher stood up from the settee and barely bowed to Harry. “Kreacher does as halfblood Lord Black commands.”

Pop. Kreacher and the lead box both disappeared.

Seconds later—pop—the lead box was back on the settee and Kreacher was standing by the settee. This time, the lead box’s lid was open. Kreacher said, “Masters, please you looks in the box.”

Other-Dumbledore glanced in. “That is Slytherin’s Locket, most definitely.”

Harry looked in the lead box. On the front of the locket was the letter S, made from many emeralds. The locket felt evil, the same way the Diary had felt evil. Harry slammed the lid shut; the feeling of nasty evil stopped.

“On to Gringotts, Kreacher,” Harry said.

Pop. Kreacher, the lead box and the evil Locket inside the lead box all were gone.

Kreacher was back on the settee two minutes later, without the lead box. “Drecta Ragnok pledge on goblin honour that nasty soul-magic be remove from Locket before 8pm, then clean Locket be putted in Black Heirlooms Vault. Black Coin Vault be charge G143 for this service.”

Tears were running down Kreacher’s face.

****

Meanwhile, Harry had called Dobby, who had elf-popped in. Harry had been surprised to discover that Other-Harry knew Dobby. In the other timeline, Other-Harry had become Heir Malfoy by Right of Conquest in June 1992, so had dealt with the four Malfoy house-elves. Other-timeline Dobby still was a Malfoy house-elf and was, like Local-Dobby, a house-elf unforgettable.

Anyway, during the minutes that Kreacher had been at Gringotts, Harry had told the four Potter house-elves plus Dobby, “Black Manor’s house elf is Kreacher, who is a lazy elf—notice how this place is a pigsty? Do what Kreacher refuses to do and clean this place, from attic to cellar. And somebody please get rid of that loudmouth portrait in the entryway—she yells at everyone.”

It had taken three house-elves working together, but the portrait of Walburga Black had been quickly removed from the entryway wall. Seconds after this, Dobby personally had vanished the obnoxious portrait.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. He relaxed—and thus tempted Fate.

****

“Harry James Potter,” Hermione growled. “You own slaves. House-elf slaves. You are giving orders to your slaves, instead of freeing your slaves. Shame on you!”

Harry did not know what to say to Hermione’s rant—but someone else did.

“Honestly, Local-Hermione,” said Other-Hermione with a huff, “you should be ashamed of not learning the facts, and instead making wrong assumptions.”

Hermione’s eyes went wide. She opened her mouth to speak—

“Shut it,” Other-Hermione snapped. “Be quiet and listen.”

After several seconds’ pause, during which, Hermione indeed kept quiet, Other-Hermione said, “I believed as you did—in first year. Harry and Neville set me straight about house-elves in first year. But I didn’t want to believe Harry and Neville were right and I was wrong, so I looked for a book about house-elves in the Hogwarts Library. I could find no such book, and I spent seventeen hours, over six days, searching.”

Hermione nodded agreement.

Other-Hermione resumed, “So I went to Plan B: I talked to Wrinkly, the Hogwarts head house-elf, and to Greyclay, the Potter head house-elf. Now then, you will learn what I learnt, so that from now on, you will not give your Harry a guilt-trip he does not deserve. Are you listening now? Will you keep an open mind?”

“Yes,” Hermione said lowly—and maybe just a bit sullenly.

Other-Hermione shifted into a perfect match to Hermione’s lecture voice: “House-elves have no magical core; they need to bond with a magical place with strong ley lines, or with a strong witch or wizard. Sever a house-elf’s bond to a place or to a magical master, and the house-elf dies. This is one thing you should know.

“The second thing you should know is that house-elves take the magic they receive and they mutate it, so a house-elf who is bonded to a wizard can do magical things that the wizard cannot. This makes house-elves not slaves but symbionts.

“The third thing you need to be reminded of are cultural values. You know that some values that Englishmen hold, French people think are silly things to believe. The same is true with house-elves. A house-elf who doesn’t work as hard as he can, who is lazy, is considered by house-elf values to be a disgrace. Ron Weasley is lazy, but he is not a disgrace by wizard values—people don’t spit in Weasley’s face because he spends only fifteen minutes writing a Transfiguration essay. House-elves are not slaves; but as hard as slaves are made to work, house-elves want to work, and they reject other house-elves who don’t work as hard.”

Hermione had shifted into her receiving-information face. Still wearing this face, Hermione said, “I see. Thank you for telling me all this.”

“You’re welcome,” Other-Hermione said. Then she added bossily, “Now apologise to your Harry for acting like such a bint.”

****

This was when Kreacher elf-popped back to the settee and gave his report to Harry.

Right afterwards, Kreacher noticed that Walburga Black’s portrait was gone. He yelled, “WHERE BES PORTRAIT OF LADY WALBURGA? YOUS ELVES BRINGS IT BACK!”

“Wes cans not,” replied smirking Dobby. “Portrait”—Dobby waved goodbye with both hands.

“NO!” Kreacher yelled, whilst still sitting on the settee. “YOUS ELVES SERVES HALFBLOOD BLOOD-TRAITOR! YOUS ALL BES BAD ELVES!”

“Shut up, you,” Greyclay ordered scornfully. “ Wes not bes bad elfs, you bes bad elf. The baddest! Nobody is wanting hearing from bad-elf you.”

Then five house-elves quickly appeared and disappeared over and over, whilst Number 12, Grimmauld Place got cleaner—and whilst settee-stuck Kreacher muttered angry words.

****

Meanwhile, in the Hogwarts hospital wing

In her office, Madam Pomfrey finished up her end-of-school-year parchmentwork. She separated the writings into two piles: parchmentwork that was meant for the headmaster to read and to file, and secret parchmentwork that she would turn in to Saint Mungo’s.

Albus did not want anyone outside the castle knowing about his many shameful derelictions, but Poppy Boudicca Pomfrey was not about to be Squibbed by her Mediwitch Oath because she had kept silent, no way! Albus should just be glad that Poppy did not duplicate her revelatory Saint Mungo’s parchmentwork and hand the duplicate writings straight to Amelia Bones.

Now alone in her office, Poppy called out, “May I have a Hogwarts house-elf please?”

Pop. “I be Swotty. How cans Swotty help Meddywitch Pomfy?”

Poppy handed the house-elf the parchmentwork intended for Albus. “Please lay this on the headmaster’s desk.”

“Swotty will!” Pop.

Poppy walked out of her office, with her Saint Mungo’s parchmentwork in her left hand. She locked her office door with a password-protected Colloportus, then walked to the dedicated Floo to Saint Mungo’s.

Poppy frowned whilst she walked towards the Floo fireplace. She should have been able to refer patients to Saint Mungo’s anytime, by her own decision, and under her own authority. She was a Mediwitch, by Merlin! But Albus had sneaked a paragraph into her employment contract that said that she could not use the Saint Mungo’s Floo in any way, during the school year, without the headmaster’s prior permission. Alas, in the last twenty-four years, his permission had been given exactly once—four days ago, three days after the headmaster’s precious Boy Who Lived had been turned into a marble statue.

(And then, the Saint Mungo’s healers had been no better able to revive Harry Potter than had been Poppy herself, Filius or Albus. When the Saint Mungo’s healers finally had departed through the hospital wing’s Floo, Albus had given Poppy a smug smile—Do you still think that Saint Mungo’s healers can achieve what you cannot, Poppy?)

Now whilst Poppy walked from the door of her office to the Saint Mungo’s Floo, she avoided looking at the corner of the hospital wing where Statue-Harry stood, because her failure to revive him filled her with such shame. Poppy hoped that when she returned to Hogwarts in late August, she would have new ideas how to revive Harry Potter.

So Poppy, by avoiding looking in that corner, did not see that Harry Potter no longer was a statue, and no longer was in the hospital wing.

****

One minute later, still in the hospital wing

Severus Snape burst into the hospital wing, his wand out.

The first thing he did was to check whether Poppy was in her office. She was not.

Meanwhile, Severus was noticing the quiet. If Poppy were moving amongst the patient beds, Severus would hear her incantations and he would hear the sounds her spells made. Sometimes Severus would hear brief conversations between Poppy and a student-patient. But now Severus heard none of those things.

Severus rushed from outside Poppy’s office to the corner of the hospital wing where Potter’s statue had been.

The know-it-all was not there, mad waif Lovegood was not there, the alternate-timeline know-it-all was not there, Severus’s two targets were not there, and the statue of arrogant Potter definitely was not there.

Severus was in deep trouble.

Severus considered, then dismissed, the idea of asking a house-elf or a ghost where these missing people were. Then Severus remembered that he had one more option—

Severus said loudly, “I call upon the Spirit of Hogwarts.”

The Spirit of Hogwarts appeared, and listened to Severus’s questions. But instead of Severus being told helpful information, he was told, “The whereabouts of Harry Potter and the others are not your concern.”

Bugger!

****

Fifteen minutes later
In the office of Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts

Albus was reading Deputy Headmistress McGonagall’s end-of-school-year report when he realised: the Order of the Phoenix meeting that he had come from, earlier tonight, a meeting which had lasted about a half-hour, he could not remember at all.

So Albus tried to recreate the memory. Let’s see, we met this evening at Sirius’s house, which is at—Albus could not remember this either.

Albus then realised what must have happened: Sirius’s house had been put under a brand-new Fidelius Charm; and until Albus were told the new Secret, he could not recall what he had forgotten.

Albus was stumped how the Fidelius Charm that he had cast, and that he had made himself the Secret Keeper for, could have been replaced. The goblins theoretically could perform this magic, but had no reason to; or a new Lord Black had changed the Fidelius Charm by declaration.

But who could the new Lord Black be? Albus thought, Merlin’s saggy socks, please do not let the new Lord Black be Draco Malfoy!

Then Albus remembered that there was a second possible Lord Black; but Albus immediately dismissed the thought. It cannot be Harry; he is still a stone statue. Poppy would have told me if Harry had been revived.

Albus, whose deductions always were flawless and true, saw no need to walk to the hospital wing and to confirm that the statue of Harry Potter still was standing in a corner. Meanwhile, Albus tried and failed to figure out how it happened that ... Sirius Black’s house ... could have a fresh Fidelius Charm cast on it.

Mentally changing the subject—

Tomorrow at breakfast, Albus would meet with Miss Granger, Miss Lovegood and the three Summoned magicals, to ask them what progress they had made at reviving Harry. Albus did not expect the five to report any progress at all, even though one of the Summoned magicals was Albus’s counterpart.

Chapter Text

Still Friday, 26th June
Back at Number 12, Grimmauld Place
A bit earlier: soon after the five house-elves began cleaning Number 12, Grimmauld Place

Harry looked at Hermione and Luna, and at Other-Dumbledore, Other-Hermione and other-himself, and asked, “Do we have any other crises that must be dealt with right now, or do we have time to sit and talk? I want to find out about you three who got dragged here, how you’re different from the headmaster, Hermione and me.”

Hermione said, “Percival—other Dumbledore—please tell my Harry how you defined your new timeline in November 1981.”

Harry listened as Percival Dumbledore described two big realisations that he had experienced, and four mistakes he had made, a few day after Harry’s parents had died. Whilst Other-Dumbledore spoke, Harry saw Hermione and Luna nod along—they had heard these stories before.

Harry grinned when he heard about the time Other-Petunia had handed the toddler-version of Other-Harry to Percival Dumbledore—Harry grinned because the toddler boy had been wearing a poopy nappy at the time. But some other parts of Percival’s tale horrified Harry—

Before November 1981, Other-Albus had been completely convinced that he was right about everything. As a result, between April 1980, when Other-Albus had heard the Prophecy, and Halloween 1981, when the Potter parents had died, Other-Albus had developed a scheme to bring himself glory. In Other-Albus’s scheme, once the Potter parents died, Other-Harry would be raised by his mother’s magic-hating sister, and Other Sirius Black and Other Alice Longbottom would have had their custody of Other-Harry stolen from them. The end result of Other-Albus’s scheme would have been that Other-Voldemort would kill weak and ignorant Other-Harry, Other-Albus would kill Other-Voldemort, then everyone would view Other-Albus as the next Merlin whilst Other-Albus would be given the political power of King Arthur. Other-Albus’s every word would be written into law by an adoring Wizengamot and, because Other-Albus was the wisest person in Wizarding Britain, when the Minister and the Wizengamot carried out Other-Albus’s orders, this would turn Wizarding Britain into a paradise.

So Other-Albus had believed without question.

But fortunately, Other-Albus had wised up within days of the Potters’ deaths, and neither Other-Harry nor Other-Sirius had spent even a full day suffering for the Greater Good.

****

Now in Grimmauld Place, Harry asked Percival Dumbledore, “What exactly is ‘the Greater Good’? Our headmaster speaks that term all the time, but he never says what it means.”

Percival Dumbledore answered, “Most of the time when Albus says it, is meaningless words that end all argument. ‘Meaningless,’ because notice that he never explains how a particular situation serves the Greater Good. ‘Ends all argument’ because nobody wants to be seen as arguing for the Greater Bad. But actually, the true meaning of ‘the Greater Good’ is ‘Harm For The Few.’ So the next time Albus talks about ‘blah-blah Harry’ and ‘blah-blah the Greater Good,’ argue by saying, ‘Is your Greater Good scheme also good for Harry Potter? No? This is unacceptable.’ ”

Harry grinned. “At last, an argument against his ‘Greater Good’ blather. He uses that phrase a lot.”

Hermione, whilst biting her lip, asked, “What if he actually explains what he means in a particular case? ‘If we do X for the Greater Good, 574 wizards and witches will benefit. They will benefit by’ blah-blah-blah.”

Percival Dumbledore replied, “Doing something for the Greater Good always is morally wrong. Let me create a hypothetical example. Right now, there are about 400 students in Hogwarts, either in my timeline or in yours. Suppose there were a way to give 83 years of no-aging to 399 of those 400 students, starting at age 17. When those students were 18, they would look 17; when they were 100, they would look 17; when they were 101, they would look 18; and when they were 102 years old, they would look 19. But the price for magicking 399 Hogwarts students in this way would be that the 400th student would be hit with three Stinging Hexes. Now, presuming I could make this happen, would my plan be a good thing or a bad thing?”

Hermione said, “Erm, a good thing? I suspect that many Gryffindors would volunteer to be the ‘Stinging-Hex Sacrifice.’ ”

Percival smiled at Hermione and said, “Correct, Local Miss Granger. Please note that in my made-up example, 399 people benefit by my plan and one person suffers a wee bit. To anyone upholding ‘the Greater Good’ as ultimate morality, this plan is a ‘no-brainer,’ as our Miss Granger says.”

Harry, Hermione and Luna nodded.

Percival Dumbledore’s voice then turned darker—more ominous. “But suppose that to give those 399 Hogwarts students 83 years of no-aging, I was required to chop off the arms and legs of my ‘nephew’ Harry, to cauterise the cuts so that the severed limbs never could be reattached, then to burn up the severed limbs with fire. ‘Nephew’ Harry no longer could walk, he no longer could feed himself and he no longer could use his wand. I would have utterly destroyed his life and happiness. But so what, 399 Hogwarts students still would benefit.” Then Percival Dumbledore looked at the three local teenagers and said, “In the simplest definition of ‘the Greater Good,’ nothing has changed from my Stinging-Hexes example; this is still a worthy plan. Even if my plan required I hit my timeline’s Harry with the Cruciatus Curse followed by the Killing Curse, so long as 399 people benefitted from the plan, the simplest definition of ‘the Greater Good’ would make this still be a worthy plan and it should be carried out.”

Hermione and Luna looked as horrified as Harry felt.

Harry asked, “So why do you no longer believe in ‘the Greater Good’?”

Other-Dumbledore slapped his hands over his face for a second—in embarrassment? Then he answered, “Once I truly got it pounded into my head that the great Albus Percival Dumbledore could be wrong sometimes, I realised that my Greater Good doctrine was evil, but it was also stupid.”

Other-Dumbledore looked at the three local-timeline teenagers. “Let us go back to my imaginary spell that would make 399 Hogwarts students stop aging for 83 years, beginning when they turned 17. I have never seen any such spell in a book, so if I cast it, it would be a spell I had invented, a spell based on a theory of mine. But what if my theory was wrong? What if I had overlooked something? What if, on each student’s seventeenth birthday, he or she fell into an 83-year-long sleep? When the 399 woke up, each person looking 17 when they were 100 years old by the calendar, to them it would seem as though they had been sent 83 years into the future; and everyone they had known who had not been a Hogwarts student with them, now was dead. Those 399 former students would think their lives were awful, would they not? Achieving this would hardly be worth hitting my ‘nephew’ Harry with a Pain Curse, then the Killing Curse, right?”

Harry, Hermione and Luna nodded.

“But suppose my plan worked, as I imagined it. Suppose 399 former Hogwarts students enjoyed 83 years of no-aging and youth; but my timeline’s Harry has been tortured, then killed. Is the total benefit to the 399 students indeed greater than the total harm I have inflicted on blameless Harry? Furthermore, is the headmaster of a school, who won a famous duel in 1945, qualified to judge total benefit and total harm? No. But if our hypothetical headmaster is blind with his own hubris, he would believe he is qualified to judge this question.

“If you reluctantly agree that it is for the Greater Good that 399 Hogwarts students are given 83 years of no-aging, but Harry Potter is tortured and killed, then what if I worsen the plan a bit—398 Hogwarts students benefit, but both my ‘nephew’ Harry and our Miss Granger are tortured and killed? What if only 390 Hogwarts students benefit, whilst 10 Hogwarts students are tortured and killed?”

Harry said, “At 390 and 10, I think you would have long since passed the point when ‘the Greater Good’ was actually the greater harm.”

Percival Dumbledore nodded. “Ah, but if I were the wizard who could give no-aging to 390 Hogwarts students, knowing that afterwards I would be praised as a wizard who was both powerful and kind, but first I had to cause harm to the 10 blameless students, I would be sorely tempted to convince myself that the harm to those 10 was not all that harmful. If to give no-aging to 390 Hogwarts students, I had to chop off the arms and legs of 10 blameless Hogwarts students, I would be telling myself, ‘Those 10 are not truly harmed all that much by living the rest of their lives without arms and legs. Their friends will help them.’ ”

None of the local teenagers had anything to say to that; Harry and the two teen witches were all shocked and horrified.

Percival Dumbledore sighed. “When Hagrid, Minerva and I took young Harry to the Dursleys, my plan was to sabotage Harry’s life so that when he battled Voldemort again, the boy would certainly be slaughtered. I sent Harry away from everyone in Wizarding Britain, and I sealed the Potter wills, so that neither Sirius nor Alice could interfere with Petunia Dursley’s raising of Harry. After Harry would be killed, so I planned, I would kill Voldemort and would become a national hero for the second time. I would use Wizarding Britain’s boundless devotion to me to get the laws passed that only I, with my age and wisdom, saw that Wizarding Britain needed. But in November 1981, I woke up from my prideful foolishness, before either my world’s Sirius Black or my world’s Harry Potter suffered even twenty-four hours of undeserved harm. But alas, my life-changing attitude-adjustment did not happen to Albus, my twin in your timeline. Albus’s schemes ruined Sirius’s life and now have ended it; and listen, Local-Harry, Albus still plots to have you outclassed by Voldemort and to someday die by Voldemort’s hand. But I refuse to allow this; this shall not stand.”

Other-Harry, who was sitting next to Percival Dumbledore, now grinned at Harry. “After I killed Voldemort as a firstie, so that whatever I learnt afterwards about killing wizards didn’t matter, I discovered Slytherin’s Library. In Slytherin’s Library, I discovered tonnes of Parseltongue spells so that if Voldemort came back again, I could kill him again. I never have needed those spells, in my world. In your world, I refuse to be this Dumbledore’s puppet and to kill Voldemort with those spells. But I’ll happily teach those spells to you, so that you can use them against this world’s Voldemort. Because I want to be standing next to you, watching it all, when your Voldemort drops dead from something you did, and your Dumbledore says, ‘What the—’ ”

“Heck,” Other-Hermione interjected. “You were about to say, ‘What the heck?’ ”

****

Harry had asked the three other-timeline magicals to tell about their lives. After a detour to define the term the Greater Good, the three from the other timeline told their stories.

The stories told by Other-Harry and Other-Hermione were unexpected to Harry.

Other-Sirius, working with the Tonks family, had taken Other-Harry on many field trips to the nonmagical world, beginning when Other-Harry had been six years old. Also at age six, “Uncle Percival” had brought in wizards who had been knowledgeable about both combat magic and nonmagical martial arts, to train Other-Harry how to fight Voldemort.

Four years later, when Other-Harry had been ten, he had outfought three fourteen-year-old Muggle bullies in a video arcade—using no magic, using only martial arts.

Fast-forward to when Other-Harry had boarded his timeline’s firstie train at age eleven. He had been a confident kid, because he had known he could outfight, both magically and nonmagically, more than half the boys in the school. On the firstie train, Other-Hermione had noticed this confidence, within seconds of meeting Other-Harry. Other-Hermione had been further gobsmacked when she had discovered, minutes later, that alone of all the wizard-raised eleven-year-olds on the train, Harry Potter had known much about the Muggle world.

During this same first meeting on the firstie train, what Other-Harry had noticed about Other-Hermione was that she, unlike the magically-raised first-years on the train, did not fawn over him. The reason was not because she had not known he was famous—within seconds of meeting Other-Harry, Other-Hermione had rattled off three magical-history books that had write-ups about Harry Potter—but Other-Hermione on the Express had never acted like a fangirl.

****

Other-Harry had met Other-Ron several years before they had become firsties; Other-Harry came to loathe the ginger-haired, argumentative glutton with no table manners. Later, at Hogwarts in 1991, when Other-Ron, after Charms class, had called Hermione an insufferable, nightmare know-it-all with no friends, Other-Harry had responded by putting his arm round Other-Hermione’s shoulders and by kissing her on the cheek—in front of two Houses’ worth of first-year students. “There, now,” Other-Harry had said, “I’ve just shown that Hermione Granger has at least one friend—which is one friend more than you have, Weasley.”

Other-Ron promptly had stomped off to the boy’s lavatory, where he had punched a mirror, had cut his hand up, and had had to be taken to the hospital wing.

****

At the end of Other-Harry’s first year, after Other-Harry had killed Luciusmort in the Great Hall—after this feat, even professors had acted deferential. However, Other-Hermione had treated Other-Harry merely as though he had earnt an Outstanding-Plus on an essay assignment, not as the boy who had saved Wizarding Britain from Voldemort—again.

It should be noted that when Other-Harry had killed Luciusmort, this had vanquished Voldemort forever, because between 31 July 1986 and 1 September 1991, the other-timeline versions of Sirius, Dumbledore and the goblins had tracked down and had destroyed Voldemort’s horcruxes. When Other-Harry had snapped Luciusmort’s neck in June 1992, Other-Voldemort’s remaining soul had been handed a big surprise.

At the end of Other-Harry’s and Other-Hermione’s first year, they had declared themselves boyfriend and girlfriend, just before they had boarded the Hogwarts Express. Their first kiss had been in a train compartment; Other Neville Longbottom and Other Su Li had witnessed the kiss.

Sometime in fourth year, the magical couple had given each other their virginities in the bedchamber of Slytherin’s Suite. Or so Other-Harry’s euphemisms seemed to imply.

****

The six magical people, from two timelines, fell silent. Eventually Harry said, “Wow. Our lives have been so different.”

Then Harry said, “Now tell me what I need to know, about fighting Voldemort and about life in general, that I don’t know. Tell me why Hermione kissed me as soon as I was revived. Tell me why we fled Hogwarts Castle in a hurry before Dumbledore—sorry, before my, Luna’s and Hermione’s Dumbledore—caught us.”

Hermione said, “Why did I kiss you as soon as I saw you? Because our counterparts are a couple, and they’re happy.” Hermione lowered her voice and said to Harry, “When I was told they shagged in Slytherin’s bedchamber, I thought, ‘Ooh, I want this too.’ ”

Red-faced Other-Hermione smacked Hermione’s arm. “Bint.” Other-Harry was grinning.

Other-Dumbledore said to Harry, “Why did we flee the castle? From everything your Hermione and your Luna have told me, Albus has made you his puppet, besides your world’s Sirius Black and Remus Lupin becoming his puppets. Albus wants to make my timeline’s Harry Potter become yet another puppet. This shall not stand.”

After this, the three Summoned magicals, plus Hermione and Luna, told Harry everything that they knew that he did not know. The other magicals became annoyed when they discovered how deep, deep, deep was Harry’s ignorance. (“I’m supposed to have my trust-vault key? I was supposed to be given my trust-vault key at age eleven? I should have been given my Heir Potter ring at age eleven?”)

The Summoned magicals, plus Luna, finally at age fifteen explained to Harry why he refusing to shake Draco’s hand on the firstie train had created a lifelong enemy: by Wizarding Britain etiquette, Harry had deeply insulted Draco!

The “Here’s what you need to know” talk was frustrating both for the other-timeline magicals and for Harry—many things that Other-Harry had been told at age six, by his timeline’s Sirius or by Other-Dumbledore, no adult ever had told Local-Harry. (Either the adult assumed that Harry already had been told this knowledge by someone else, or Albus Dumbledore had persuaded the adult to keep silent about a knowledge “for Harry’s own good.”)

Harry’s biggest ignorance: Harry was a little over a year from turning seventeen, and at age seventeen, Harry would become Lord Potter; but Harry knew nothing about how to be Lord Potter!

Harry wept, and Hermione hugged him, when Percival Dumbledore told Harry, Hermione and Luna the Prophecy. Harry sobbed, “All those years wasted, Hermione, because I didn’t know this. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have signed up for easy courses like Care of Magical Creatures and Divination; I would have signed up for Runes and Arithmancy, and every course I took, I would have studied hard for. I would have trained in the Room of Requirement every day, even as a firstie, instead of wasting my time with Gobstones, and Exploding Snap, and bloody chess game after chess game with the redhead hothead! Bloody hell, Hermione, if I’d known that there was a glass ball in the Hall of Prophecies that talked about me and Voldemort, I never would have gone near the place without the entire DMLE behind me, so Sirius would be alive now!”

Harry went volcanic with rage when he was told that when Albus could find no way to remove the horcrux in Harry’s forehead-scar without killing Harry, Albus had not chosen to look harder—meaning, visiting Gringotts healers—to find a way to save Harry’s life. Instead, Albus had decided, If I do not know a way to save Harry, he cannot be saved. So I will spend the years ahead, brainwashing Harry into “nobly sacrificing” himself.

After Harry had been told this about the horcrux in his scar, he looked at his audience in Grimmauld Place and said, “No sodding blood-hell way will I nobly sacrifice myself! Now, if Albus wants to nobly sacrifice himself, I have no problem with this.”

Other-Harry had told the group what his life at Hogwarts had been like—

He, except for battling Luciusmort at the end of first year and being across-timelines kidnapped at the end of fifth year, had lived an ordinary Hogwarts life. With those two exceptions, Other-Harry’s life had been no more exciting than the school years of his grandfather Charlus.

In contrast, Local-Harry and Local-Hermione told the group what Harry’s five years at local-timeline Hogwarts had been like—a string of horrors, which had been made all the worse by uncaring adults. Harry showed his “I must not tell lies” scars to the three other-timeline magicals; they were revolted.

Then Harry said, “But speaking of scars...” Then Harry hinted, without giving details, what his life with the Dursleys was like. Tears ran down Harry’s face as he told his stories. He refused to show his scars.

Then Harry told his listeners what his summers were like in 1992 through 1995: “I went from being imprisoned in Durzkaban, to being imprisoned with the Weasleys or at Grimmauld Place, always living wherever the headmaster decided to put me. I was never given a choice when and where I was taken, and I was never allowed to leave whichever house I was sentenced to, to shop or even to exercise. Leaving the house wasn’t ‘safe,’ you see. I’ve never been to Hermione’s house, because her house is not ‘safe,’ even though Hermione is my best friend. I’ve never been to Neville’s house either, even though he also has invited me to visit.”

Both Hermiones hugged Harry.

****

The soul-baring talk by Harry and the others took a long time. It was 3am the next morning before everyone went to bed.

****

Later that morning (Saturday, 27th June), after breakfast
Hogwarts SOW&W

Albus was frantic.

The three Summoned magicals, plus Miss Granger and Miss Lovegood, all were missing. Also, Statue-Harry was missing!

Both Statue-Harry and Other-Timeline Harry were missing. This was disaster, and Albus had no clue where to find these two!

****

Later that morning, during a late breakfast
In Number 12, Grimmauld Place, London

House-elves Dobby and Greyclay appeared at the breakfast table, unsummoned. Also elf-popping in with Dobby and Greyclay were a house-elf boy and a house-elf girl whom Harry did not know.

Greyclay said, “Last night, house-elf Kreacher was tried for First-Degree Bad-Elfness, was finded guilty and was deathed. These elves here are Shiny and Lassie. Judge Cookie offer you either of they, or both of they, to bond with as the new House Black house-elf.”

Hermione, Harry noticed, was frowning, but she did not say anything. Even more surprising, Hermione did not look like she was just about to say anything.

Harry as Lord Black wound up bonding with both teenaged house-elves. (Greyclay had to coach Harry through the process.) Harry immediately ordered Shiny and Lassie to Malfoy Manor, to introduce themselves to Narcissa, after telling them they were not to respond to future calls from Draco.

****

After breakfast, Harry and Hermione needed to go to Gringotts. Harry needed to visit Gringotts for many reasons; Hermione needed to go because she now owned Bellatrix Lestrange’s vault By Right of Conquest.

Other-Harry and Other-Dumbledore would go with the new couple to advise them, since neither Harry nor Hermione had dealt with goblins in any important way before. Luna had no reason to visit Gringotts at all, so the Potter house-elves would take her home to the Rookery.

This left Other-Hermione, who truly, truly did not want to spend the morning in Grimmauld Place. Other-Hermione’s problem was solved when Luna invited the other-timeline witch to the Rookery till the others in the group reclaimed both witches. Wavy-Hair Hermione accepted the invitation.

Chapter Text

Still Saturday, 27th June, late morning

An absolute rule at Gringotts was that if you were a customer, the goblins had to be able to see you, and they had to be able to see you clearly. The goblins became displeased—with the result that some of the goblins threatened you with sharp metal weapons—if you the customer walked into the bank whilst Polyjuiced, or under a glamour, or Disillusioned, or under an invisibility cloak.

However, if you wished to enter the bank whilst being unnoticed by other wizards, the goblins would help you out. Upon request, you would be sent a special Gringotts Portkey that would take you directly to the “Portkey Room” within Gringotts. Gringotts also had a “House-Elf Room,” the location of which, all house-elves knew about.

Thus with the help of the Potter house-elves, Harry and Hermione travelled to Gringotts from Grimmauld Place without Albus Dumbledore knowing; and Other-Harry and Other-Dumbledore entered Gringotts without Wizarding Britain discovering that other-timeline versions of two famous wizards were in the British Isles.

****

Axefrenzy, the Potter account manager, and Bladebloody, the Black account manager, each were alarmed by facing a duplicate Harry Potter and a duplicate Dumbledore—alarmed enough that the three visitor wizards and one visitor witch were “escorted,” by ten spears-pointing goblins, to the office of Director Ragnok.

In Ragnok’s office, the wizards and witch told their story; and thanks to some mysterious Truth Magic in Ragnok’s office, Ragnok believed what the magicals told him.

Much of what Other-Dumbledore, Other-Harry and Local-Harry said, made Ragnok angry—

Nobody ever had told Local-Harry that he could claim the Potter Heir Primary and the Black Heir Primary rings on his eleventh birthday. Other-Harry had received monthly statements from Gringotts since he had been eleven; Local-Harry never had received a Gringotts statement. Local-Harry did not know that House Potter had three Gringotts vaults, not just Harry’s trust vault; plus Local-Harry did not know that the Boy Who Lived had been given gift-vaults back in 1981. Also, House Potter owned real-estate properties and shares of businesses, which steadily put coins into the Potter Coinage Vault; Local-Harry did not know this either.

****

There were some things that Ragnok and the account managers knew that not only did Harry and Hermione not know, but Other-Harry and Other-Dumbledore did not know either. In the other timeline, Hogwarts had not hosted the Triwizard Tournament, so Other-Harry never was forced to participate in it. But in the local timeline, the Triwizard Tournament had been held in Harry’s fourth year and Harry had been forced to participate; so now he was considered to be “of age,” even though Harry’s seventeenth birthday was a bit over a year away.

In short, it was not the case that Harry would become Lord Potter in a year; Harry could claim the Potter Head of House ring right now.

After Ragnok revealed this, Harry looked over at Hermione. She looked as shocked as Harry felt.

****

There was only one magical person in Wizarding Britain who would defer claiming his Head of House ring, and receiving his much-needed healing treatment from goblin healers, to organise his Muggle-born girlfriend sitting her Heritage Test. To reward Harry’s generosity, Hermione kissed him on the cheek.

Fortunately, for Hermione to sit her Heritage Test, the group did not need to travel within the bank, since Ragnok had decreed that Muggle-born Heritage Tests always would be sat in Ragnok’s office, in Ragnok’s presence.

What did Hermione’s Heritage Test reveal?

Hermione now owned the vault of Bellatrix Lestrange, By Right of Conquest. This was no surprise to Hermione.

Hermione was descended from Hector Dagworth-Granger, the famous potioneer, and was now the underage Head of Elder House Dagworth-Granger. To Hermione, this was only somewhat of a surprise.

Hermione was descended, on her mother’s side, from the Squib son of Ramses Malfoy, Ramses Malfoy being Lucius Malfoy’s great-grandfather. This genealogy made Draco Malfoy and Hermione third cousins. This news almost made Hermione fall out of her chair in shock.

In Ragnok’s office, Hermione claimed the Lady Dagworth-Granger ring, and the two Dagworth-Granger vault keys. Hermione was reaching for the Bellatrix Lestrange vault key when Percival Dumbledore spoke up—

“Unless the Cup has been removed in the last fifteen years, a Voldemort horcrux is in Bellatrix’s vault: the horcrux-contaminated Cup of Helga Hufflepuff—”

“Vaki sbi’ikikin ma? Iggit to’iglekvi’eng Gringottki wuk?”

Percival Dumbledore was interrupted by Ragnok angrily yelling. The goblin guards in the room got angry too, and all the angry goblins got loud enough that three more weapons-gripping goblins burst into Ragnok’s office.

Tall-Harry murmured to Hermione, “I caught the words for horcrux and Gringotts. I’m surprised he’s so angry.”

When Ragnok and the other goblins had calmed down enough, and the three outside goblins had returned to their duties, Percival Dumbledore said—

“Other Miss Granger, I recommend that you ask Gringotts to seek out and to remove all cursed items from Bellatrix’s vault, besides removing the Cup. Gringotts would do this for free, in return for also removing whatever goblin-made items are in the vault, or else Gringotts would charge the vault five hundred galleons. If you do not remove cursed items from the vault, sooner or later Gringotts shall confiscate the vault.”

Ragnok replied, “No, the fee for removing all cursed items from the vault shall be all goblin-made items, provided we find at least one, or else three thousand galleons.”

Hermione blurted, “You’re charging me fifteen thousand pounds!”

Percival Dumbledore and Tall-Harry kept quiet, whilst Ragnok and Hermione negotiated. Hermione wanted the Cup cleansed—meaning de-horcruxed, but its original magic left intact—instead of destroyed, even though this would cost Hermione G143 more than the Cup being destroyed would cost her.

The final, negotiated fee came out to be: all goblin-made items, provided at least one goblin-made item was found in Bellatrix’s vault; otherwise Hermione would be charged G1 226 (£6 130). In exchange, Gringotts would remove Hufflepuff’s Cup and every other item in Bellatrix’s vault that violated the Gringotts Vault Agreement, without penalty to Hermione; then the Cup would be de-horcruxed and would be put back in the vault.

The vault’s current balance for coinage was G77 837, S3 583, K225, so Hermione easily could afford the worst-case fee of G1 226.

Hermione quickly signed, with a Blood Quill, the contract that appeared on Ragnok’s desk. As Hermione signed, she noticed Percival Dumbledore smiling, but Hermione could not figure out why. “Why are you smiling?” she asked.

Percival Dumbledore replied, “I am remembering how we got the Cup out of Bellatrix’s vault in our timeline. Sirius, as Lord Black, wound up disowning Bellatrix and claiming her entire vault. It was all quite legal, all quite stodgy. But Remus Lupin and I had to talk Sirius out of his original idea.”

“Which was?”

“Sirius’s first plan started with him sashaying into Gringotts whilst Polyjuiced as Bellatrix, then the plan got even more Marauder-ish from there.”

Hermione shuddered. “No. Say no more. I never could do anything like that.”

Percival Dumbledore, still smiling, said, “A transfigured porcupine in the Gringotts lobby also was part of his plan.”

****

After hearing this, Harry saw Ragnok give Other-Dumbledore a long, squinty-eyed look. Then Ragnok said, “Let us return to the subject of the horcruxes. In your timeline, what were Voldemort’s horcruxes, and where were they?”

Other-Dumbledore answered, “Besides the horcrux in Harry’s scar, and the Cup in Bellatrix’s vault, the horcruxes were Riddle’s Diary in Malfoy Manor, the Head of House Gaunt ring in the Gaunt shack, Ravenclaw’s Diadem in Hogwarts and Slytherin’s Locket at Black Manor.”

“The fool made six horcruxes?”

“Sirius and I think that the horcrux in Harry’s scar was accidental.”

Harry said, “In second year, I destroyed Riddle’s Diary with a basilisk fang; you needn’t worry about the Diary.”

Grinning Hermione hugged Harry. Meanwhile, Ragnok was looking at Harry in shock, muttering, “The Truth Disk stops him from lying.”

“Where,” Ragnok asked, “did you find a basilisk fang? Those things are—rare doesn’t begin to describe them.”

Harry was blushing now. “The basilisk fang came from the basilisk that bit me, at the same time I killed it with the Sword of Gryffindor. Tears from the headmaster’s phoenix saved me from dying. So, no big deal.”

Hermione hugged Harry again, whilst Ragnok stared.

Clearly changing the subject, Harry said, “I think Voldemort’s giant snake in the cemetery is a horcrux too. The big snake made my scar twinge when it came near me, just like the Diary did.”

Whilst Hermione squeezed Harry’s hand to comfort him, Harry, Other-Harry, Other-Dumbledore and Ragnok discussed horcrux-hunting. It was mutually agreed that the big snake could not be killed until the group knew where Voldemort was hiding. Other-Dumbledore knew exactly where in Hogwarts the Diadem was.

As for the Ring in the Gaunt Shack, Gringotts would hunt the Ring for free, and would de-horcrux the Ring for free, as a “curse-breaker training exercise.”

Then Ragnok smiled, showing his many long, thin, pointy teeth. “If the Dark Lord Voldemort does not like that the Goblin Nation destroyed a horcrux of his that was illegally stored in a Gringotts vault, and that we hunted down and destroyed another of his horcruxes, he is free to come to Gringotts and to complain to me in person.”

Then Ragnok asked Other-Dumbledore, “Do you have anything else to tell me about the Ring or about hunting for the Ring?”

Other-Dumbledore silently stared at Ragnok for almost a minute—Harry could not begin to guess what the old wizard was thinking. Eventually Other-Dumbledore said, “The ring is surrounded by Parseltongue traps, and has a Withering Curse on it, when you get that far. The ring itself looks ordinary, except for being a Head of House ring and being oddly marked.”

“Understood,” Ragnok said.

Then Other-Dumbledore looked at Harry. “Local Mr Potter, this is quite important: Tell Director Ragnok that whilst his goblins find the Ring and remove its horcrux, they are to act as your Hand. Use those words.”

Harry thought the request was silly and, judging by his expression, Ragnok likewise thought the request was silly. Still, Harry spoke the silly words to Ragnok, as requested.

Other-Dumbledore nodded in satisfaction.

Ragnok looked at the magicals and said, “Your other business with Account Manager Axefrenzy and with Account Manager Bladebloody can be taken care of in Meeting Room Krek. Before you leave, do you have any other business that only I may help you with?”

Harry stood up and laid his right hand flat on Ragnok’s desk, where Ragnok easily could see I must not tell lies carved into the back of the hand. Harry smiled viciously as he said to Ragnok, “Dolores Umbridge has tortured students at Hogwarts with a stolen Blood Quill.”

****

When that brouhaha was dealt with—Umbridge did not know it yet, but she now had a date with a sharp axe, soon after the Pink Toad would be lured into Gringotts—Hermione looked at Ragnok and said, “Harry told you he killed a basilisk. This means he owns the carcass. Would Gringotts be interested in buying the carcass?”

All three goblins exchanged glances. Then Ragnok, with his face and his voice almost calm, replied, “Yes, Gringotts would be interested in possessing the carcass, rendering it, selling the pieces at auction and paying young Mr Potter, who is the sole slayer of the basilisk, a worthy percentage.”

****

After the magicals left Ragnok’s office, Harry had in hand a written order from Ragnok to the goblin hospital: Harry’s owl-mail redirect would be again redirected, from Dumbledore (or from wherever Harry’s mail now was going to), to the Gringotts secure-mail service. Harry would be charged nothing for this service for five years, because Albus Dumbledore had nobbled both Harry Potter and Gringotts for five years but Gringotts had not realised the mail-theft.

But the removal of the owl-mail redirect could wait. Instead of going to the goblin hospital from Ragnok’s office, Harry’s next stop was to Meeting Room Krek, to resume his meeting with the Potter account manager (Axefrenzy) and the Black account manager (Bladebloody). During the meeting with both account managers, Harry put on his Potter Head of House ring, was briefed about his Potter and Black holdings, and was given his new vault keys.

****

Harry did not have quite as much business with the Black account manager, Bladebloody, since Harry already had claimed his Lord Black ring by ritual.

Bladebloody told Harry that the will-reading for Sirius had already been held; Dumbledore had attended in statuefied Harry’s place. When Dumbledore had demanded the four Black vault keys that Harry, Lord Black, was qualified for, Bladebloody had refused to hand the four keys to Dumbledore.

Now Harry snarled, “What possible reason could Dumbledore have for being given the keys to the House Black vaults? He’s not connected to House Black in any way.”

Bladebloody answered, “The bearded idiot actually claimed that yes, you now were ‘emancipated enough’ to become Lord Black, but Wizard Dumbledore still was your magical guardian because you were not yet seventeen. Thus Dumbledore’s duties ‘required’ that he be given every vault key that was supposed to go to you.”

After Account Manager Bladebloody had heard this blather by Albus Dumbledore, the goblin had ordered Albus escorted from the building at spearpoint, and had banned Albus from Gringotts for a month.

Hearing this story now, Percival Dumbledore scowled, and Harry needed hugs from Hermione.

Harry as Lord Black restored Andromeda Tonks née Black to the Black family, added Ted Tonks and Nymphadora Tonks to the Black family and transferred a belated dowry of one hundred thousand galleons into Ted Tonks’s vault.

****

The Potter trust vault (maybe) had been Albus Dumbledore’s playground for the past fifteen years. Harry thought, This stops now.

Harry promptly ordered that any Potter keys that Albus Dumbledore already might possess, now would be voided “cruelly.”

Grinning Axefrenzy asked Harry, “What exactly do you mean by ‘cruelly’?”

Harry answered, “If you can make the keys burst into flame in the headmaster’s pocket, this would be good.”

Harry ordered that all Potter accounts be audited back to 1981 (when James Potter had died), and all Black accounts be audited back to 1991 (when Arcturus Black had died). Harry explained his order: “Do I have any evidence that Albus Dumbledore has stolen from my vaults? No. But do I see him as ‘the Leader of the Light’? Again no. And after that stunt he pulled at Sirius’s will-reading, trying to grab my four Black vault keys, I can’t believe he has solid-gold character, can I?”

Axefrenzy and Bladebloody each smiled a goblin-smile when they heard this order.

Then Axefrenzy said, “I see no obvious evidence from your ledgers that Dumbledore has stolen from any Potter vault. Our audits might find no theft. If such is the case, you would be charged G25 per vault.”

Harry said, “Audit them anyway.”

Needless to say, the G200-a-month stipend to the Dursleys from the Potter Coinage Vault, which had begun in 1981, Harry stopped now. Furthermore, Harry wanted what had already been paid out to Vernon and Petunia Dursley, but which had been not spent on Harry, be reclaimed “by whatever means necessary. Violence is acceptable. Vernon saves receipts when he thinks it’s important; so no receipt shown to you maybe means you’re being lied to.”

Hermione looked at Harry sombrely and said, “Because of your orders, the Dursleys—at least the adult Dursleys—probably will be dead within a month.”

“Within a week,” Axefrenzy corrected, grinning.

Harry shrugged. “If all they had done wrong by me was to pocket the money that was paid to them—then maybe, killing them might be excessive. But some of that money they didn’t spend on me? They didn’t buy me food! They starved me for days, and this happened many times. Also, Hermione, they tried to kill me many times; only by magical healing did I survive every attempt. I’m supposed to feel bad about would-be killers being killed? Even Dudley tried to kill me at ten years old, using a brick.”

Harry saw Axefrenzy’s eyebrows shoot up, then the Potter account manager wrote something down—and wrote, and wrote.

Meanwhile, Other-Harry and Other-Dumbledore were looking at Harry, their expressions horrified.

Harry asked Axefrenzy for the wills of his parents. The copies of those wills at the Ministry had been sealed by the Chief Warlock, Albus Dumbledore, but this did not matter one bit at Gringotts.

Minutes after Harry had requested to be brought the Potter wills, he was weeping as he read those wills.

Then he scheduled the formal readings of James and Lily Potter’s wills, one week hence.

Harry ordered copies of the wills be made; Harry intended to send copies of the “sealed” wills to the editor-in-chief of the Daily Prophet.

Why had the wills been sealed by Chief Warlock Albus Dumbledore? After Harry read the wills, the answers to this question were obvious.

First, because the wills stated that the Potter parents’ first choice for Harry’s custody was Sirius Black, “Harry’s oath-sworn godfather.” Had the wills not been sealed, Sirius could not have been kept in prison because of allegations he was “the betrayer of the Potters.” (Had Sirius actually betrayed James and Lily Potter, he would have died within seconds, because of his godfather oath. But Sirius had survived the events of that night—ergo, he was not the betrayer.)

Second, because the wills awarded a bequest to Peter Pettigrew, “our friend and our Secret Keeper.” This sentence, too, would have cleared Sirius’s name and would have forced his release from prison, had the wills not been sealed.

Third, because the wills stated, more politely but just as clearly, that no bloody way were Petunia and Vernon Dursley to get custody of Harry for even one bloody minute!

****

From the meeting with Axefrenzy and with Bladebloody, the group of four magicals went to the goblin hospital. There, Harry held up his key to the Potter Coinage Vault and told the Welcome Goblin, “My friend Hermione here, she was hit by a nasty purple-flame curse on the 19th. She’s not fully recovered. I want you to heal her completely; price is no—”

“Harry, no!” Hermione blurted.

“—object. Also, I need a few treatments myself.”

Hermione said, “You don’t need to do this. I’m fine.”

“Hermione, stop. I’ve seen you wince at times. Much recovered is a far cry from fully healed. Dolohov cursed you in the DOM; you were at the DOM because of my stupidity; so I should pay for your full healing. Q.E.D.”

Hermione crossed her arms and huffed. Other-Harry grinned.

The Welcome Goblin, sounding impatient, asked, “What treatments do you need, wizard?”

Harry handed over Director Ragnok’s parchment. “The owl-redirect ward on me, I’m getting redirected for free. Free always is nice. But mainly I’m here to get the horcrux removed from my scar.”

The Welcome Goblin snarled.

Other-Dumbledore said, “Don’t forget the binding on your magical core.”

****

The good news for Harry: the goblin horcrux-removal ritual took only a half hour (which was about the same amount of time that it took different goblin healers to treat Hermione’s curse by Dolohov). The bad news: The horcrux-removal ritual cost the Potter Coinage Vault twenty thousand galleons, which was the price of two Firebolts. The worse news: During the half hour that the goblins were performing the ritual, Harry felt like his forehead was suffering a localised Cruciatus Curse.

The goblin healers had to remove two bindings on Harry’s magical core, not only one. The first magical binding had been placed in July 1981, by James Potter; the second magical binding had been placed in November 1981, by Albus Dumbledore. For these two binding-removals, Harry was charged two hundred galleons.

Thankfully, the goblin healers’ editing of Harry’s owl-mail redirect was fast and apparently simple. Now, owl-mail that had gone to Albus Dumbledore would go to Gringotts’s mail-screening service. There, all arriving mail would have curses and charms removed, and would be sent on to Potter Manor by means of a mailbox that worked like a Vanishing Cabinet for mail. This service would be free for five years.

****

Eventually both Hermione and Harry had received all their treatments at the goblin hospital, and the Potter Coinage Vault had been tapped to pay for those treatments. Now in the waiting room of the goblin hospital, Harry called for the head House Potter house-elf, Greyclay.

When Greyclay elf-popped into the waiting room, Harry handed Greyclay the key to the Potter Coinage Vault. Harry ordered Greyclay, “Fix up Potter Manor to like it was before. Fix the roof, the walls, the carpets and the furniture. Can you contract with Gringotts to replace and to charge the failed wards, or do I need to do this?”

Greyclay’s ears sagged. “Sorry, Master Lord Harry Potter, but you must being makes the contract.”

Harry looked at Other-Harry, Other-Dumbledore and Hermione. “And here I thought I was done with this place.”

Harry took his vault-key back from Greyclay, then said to the other three magicals, “Come on, everyone, up we go to talk to Axefrenzy again—hopefully briefly.”

****

The sun was low in the late-June western sky when the four magicals finally, finally were ready to leave Gringotts.

But not to be elf-popped directly back to Number 12, Grimmauld Place. Instead, the plan was to buy ice cream at Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour (with Other-Harry and Other-Dumbledore under glamours).

In the Enter, Stranger, but take heed anteroom, Other-Harry and Other-Dumbledore cast those glamours.

Apparently the two other-timeline wizards had used these particular glamours often. Other-Harry explained the situation to Harry and to Hermione—

“We’re both celebrities and, in our timeline, we often travel together. We developed this pair of glamours to keep fans away.”

Other-Dumbledore now looked forty; Other-Harry, twenty. Both had ash-blond hair and brown eyes. Other-Harry’s face looked a bit Dumbledoreish; Other-Dumbledore’s face looked a bit Potterish. The result: neither glamoured wizard looked like his true self, and the two wizards together looked like father and son.

Other-Harry looked meaningfully at Harry’s freshly-healed forehead, then said to Harry, “One of the minor reasons for getting the horcrux removed from your scar is that so long as the damned thing is there, a glamour won’t hide the forehead-scar.”

****

A half hour later
At Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour

Harry, Hermione, Other-Harry under glamour and Other-Dumbledore under glamour, all were enjoying their ice cream during the last few minutes of daylight before the sun set.

The foursome saw Severus Snape walking along the cobblestoned street in front of them. Harry figured that Snape had come from the apothecary shop that the Potions Master several times had mentioned in class.

Snape casually glanced in their direction. Then he did a double take.

Now Snape turned to face the foursome, as his expression changed to determination. Snape began to stride towards the foursome, whilst he drew his wand.

Change that—Snape was striding towards Other-Harry and Other-Dumbledore; Snape’s eyes were on only the two other-timeline wizards.

Chapter Text

Still Saturday, 27th June, 9.20pm (about sunset)
Still at Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour

Snape turned to face Harry, Hermione, glamoured Other-Harry and glamoured Other-Dumbledore, then Snape’s expression changed to determination. Snape began to stride towards the foursome, whilst he drew his wand.

Change that—Snape was striding towards Other-Harry and Other-Dumbledore; Snape’s eyes were on only the two other-timeline wizards.

Harry asked aloud, “Why is he coming towards—? They should look like strangers to Snape.”

Hermione asked, “Isn’t there a potion that enables the drinker to see through glamours for twenty-four hours?”

Snape pointed his wand at Other-Harry, then Other-Dumbledore, whilst he yelled, “Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra!”

The reaction of the other Fortescue customers, except for Harry and Hermione, was to scream and to run away. Hermione did not scream, and she stood up slowly as she drew her wand. Harry did not scream either, and likewise stood up as he drew his wand. Harry was feeling both mortal fear, which was a sensible reaction to the Killing Curse being flung about, and a killing rage—this was Snape pulling this shit!

But whereas Harry and Hermione had stood up slowly, Other-Harry and Other-Dumbledore had leapt to their feet and had drawn their wands, even whilst Snape was incanting the Killing Curses.

Inhumanly fast, Other-Dumbledore flicked his wand, and pebbles flew out of his robes pocket and in front of the two glamoured wizards. In the half-second the Killing Curses took to reach the pebbles, those pebbles enlarged to become floating rocks. The floating rocks, when hit by the Killing Curses, exploded back towards the two glamoured wizards, but now a floating transparent-blue shield stopped the rock-chunks from hitting anyone.

But whilst Harry and Hermione were preparing for battle with Snape, and glamoured Other-Dumbledore was casting clearly well-practised spells to stop two Killing Curses from harming anyone, what was glamoured Other-Harry doing?

Next to Harry, the seemly twenty-year-old man disappeared. If he had used Apparation, he did it quietly enough that Harry heard no sound, what with all the screaming nearby.

At the same time, glamoured Other-Harry appeared behind Snape. Harry heard glamoured Other-Harry incant, “Imóvel.”

Snape turned into a mannequin then. Unlike being hit with Petrificus Totalus, his limbs did not pull down to his sides, and he did not look stonelike. His hair still was black and greasy, his robes still were black cloth and his skin was still sallow.

Snape’s facial muscles remained unchanged. His face still showed determination, and his eyes still were looking at where Other-Dumbledore was standing and Other-Harry had been standing.

The fact that Snape was breathing—and in fact, was breathing faster now—showed Harry that Snape was not under a Stasis Charm.

Glamoured Other-Harry spoke another foreign-words incantation, then he and Snape were surrounded by a transparent-red dome. Other-Harry then turned his head to the side and said something, but Harry could not hear his words.

Inside the dome, Black house-elves Shiny and Lassie noiselessly elf-popped in.

Other-Harry asked the two house-elves a question that Harry could not hear. Shiny and Lassie turned to look at Harry. Harry gave them two thumbs up—Whatever he wants, give it to him.

The two house-elves turned back to look at glamoured Other-Harry and nodded solemnly.

Other-Harry brought his wand to the middle of Snape’s left arm, about where his elbow would be. Shiny and Lassie brought up their right hands, each with thumb and middle finger touching. Each house-elf was ready to click fingers.

Other-Harry mouthed Diffindo, and Snape’s left lower arm, and the partial sleeve that was covering that left lower arm, both dropped to the cobblestones. The impact was silent.

Snape did not scream, and his facial expression did not change, but now he was panting.

Meanwhile, the very instant that blood began to spurt from Snape’s left arm, the two house-elves clicked their fingers. A yellow disk flashed where Snape’s left upper arm had been severed; a second yellow disk flashed at the severed end of Snape’s left lower arm. Blood flow stopped completely, from both limbs.

Snape no longer was in danger of bleeding to death, but he still was panting.

Other-Harry looked at Harry, then at the house-elves, and silently said, “Number Twelve, please.” Shiny and Lassie clicked their fingers again.

Glamoured Other-Harry, motionless Snape and both house-elves popped away, whilst the transparent-red dome disappeared.

Snape’s severed lower left arm, with its Dark Mark partly visible under the severed black sleeve, lay on the cobblestoned street.

****

Now the onlookers who had not run away in terror, made comments—

“Did you see that young wizard Apparate behind Snape? I’ve never thought of doing that in a battle.”

“Who was that wizard? I don’t recognise him.”

“Who were those house-elves? I couldn’t see their House crests.”

“Snape is a Death Eater! Look, you can see the Dark Mark on his arm.”

“That wizard cut off half of Snape’s arm. Is that allowed?”

“After Snape tried to AK him? It better be allowed!”

****

Meanwhile, Other-Dumbledore by now had put his bumpy wand away. He murmured to Harry and to Hermione, “Follow me to the Apparation Point for Diagon Alley. We need to return to,” a pause, “where your ‘cousin’ took Snape.”

The three hurried away from Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour. At the Apparation Point, instead of bothering with Side-Along Apparation, Harry called Shiny and Lassie. Those two house-elves took the three magicals to Number 12, Grimmauld Place—in particular, to where Other-Harry and Snape were at.

Where those two were at, turned out to be in the Black Manor dungeon. Snape was in a gaol cell—whilst still a living mannequin. A wand, presumably Snape’s, was on the dungeon floor outside the gaol.

As soon as Other-Harry—who now no longer was glamoured—saw Harry, Hermione, and glamoured Other-Dumbledore, Other-Harry put his wand through the bars of the gaol and cast Mover novamente.

Snape promptly screamed. Then he spun to face Other-Harry and yelled, “Other-Potter, you worthless, arrogant bastard! You’re just like your father!”

Other-Harry laughed. “Look, Uncle Percival, the Death Eater who tried to kill both of us, is upset because I cut off his Dark Mark. You rotter, you should thank me.”

Then Other-Harry said to Snape, “I heard a lot about your counterpart when I was a just-Sorted firstie. Everyone older than us told us that the best thing Headmaster Dumbledore ever did as headmaster was to sack your wanker arse. Then for the next six years, I heard older-years talk in amazement about how Professor Tidwell taught Potions the way it should be taught.”

“It is true, Professor Snape,” said Other-Dumbledore, who now was no longer glamoured. “By mid-September of 1991, what few regrets I felt about releasing your counterpart were completely gone. Amongst other reasons for me sacking you, you were a Marked Death Eater.”

Then Other-Dumbledore’s voice turned ominous. “Speaking of which, why did you attack us?”

Snape sneered, “I refuse to answer, and you can’t make me answer. Furthermore, as a current Hogwarts professor, I’m under the headmaster’s protection.”

Other-Dumbledore chuckled scornfully. “You think I am worried about him?”

Then Other-Dumbledore pointed his bumpy wand at Snape’s head. “Legilimens!”

Harry had overheard Slytherins say that Snape was a powerful Occlumens; so Harry figured that the result of Other-Dumbledore trying to read Snape’s mind would be a stalemate. Not so.

****

A minute later, Other-Dumbledore lowered his bumpy wand. He announced, “Tom sent Snape here to kill both me and my timeline’s Harry. Tom promised Snape dodgy barristers if he ever went to trial, who would argue that he had been Imperiused. Severus was not Imperiused; I checked thoroughly. By the by, Tom is hiding out at Malfoy Manor.”

Snape sneered, “As if any of you would do anything with that information. If you tell the headmaster, you’ll find he already knows it.”

Then Snape glared at Harry. “Potter, the headmaster will insist on you letting me go. In fact, I’m surprised he isn’t already here, telling you how disappointed he is in you.”

Harry laughed. “I’ve made several changes in the last few days, Snivellus. Albus Rainbowrobes is not getting in here. When eventually I talk to him, he’ll discover that I’m not forced to do whatever silly thing he says—I have options now.”

Other-Dumbledore looked at Harry quite seriously. “The plan that my Harry and I made, when we were first brought here, was not to battle your timeline’s Voldemort at all, despite the wishes of Albus. Instead, both of us would teach you as much as we could, in whatever time we had, so that you could battle your Tom. But that plan is obsolete, now that Tom has chosen to attack my ‘nephew’ and me. You have decisions to weigh now, since it is you who will live with the consequences of whatever we do.”

Harry asked both other-timeline wizards, “How did you deal with your Death Eaters? Did you stun them, then turn them over to the DMLE?”

Other-Harry replied, “Yes, until we got smart. Then we killed them. I killed three, during the Summer 1992 hols.”

The eyes of all three local-timeline people—Harry, Hermione and Snape—went wide at that.

Other-Harry said, “It took Uncle Percival a while to wrap his brain round killing Death Eaters. I became the Death-Eater-killer first—after all, I’d already killed Luciusmort before I was twelve.”

In the gaol cell, Snape suddenly looked terrified.

Harry gave Snape a long look, then said, “I’ve seen what happens when bullies are ‘punished’ with only points and detentions.”

Then Harry called Dobby, and asked Dobby if he could perform a particular task.

Yes, Dobby answered, he could perform the task.

Harry glanced at Snape inside the gaol. Snape’s sneer was off—he was frightened, but trying not to show it.

Harry looked at Hermione. “What do you think?” he asked her.

She answered, “If you kill Snape, you can’t claim self-defence. On the other hand, up till now, both Voldemort and the headmaster have kept you on the back foot. This is the first time you’ve had a free choice. No matter what you choose, I’ll still love you.”

“How touching,” Snape said sarcastically.

“Glad you think so,” Harry said, whilst drawing his wand. “Cheer up, you’re about to be executed by a celebrity.”

Snape did not move, or otherwise try to evade the spells that were coming. He defiantly looked Harry in the eyes.

Harry pointed his wand at Snape’s breastbone and incanted, “Lancia. Lancia.” Two 9-millimetre magical tunnels pierced Snape’s chest—and in particular, pierced his heart.

When Snape was lying on the floor of the gaol, and he seemed not to be breathing, Harry walked to the other side of the gaol, whilst making sure to not step in the growing puddle of blood. Harry took careful aim, and—Lancia.—put a magical bullet hole through Snape’s brain.

Harry could have vanished Snape’s corpse then, or he could send Snape’s corpse to the DMLE morgue or to the Saint Mungo’s morgue. Instead, Harry put Snape’s freshly-dead corpse in stasis, then ordered Shiny and Lassie to clean up Snape’s blood puddle.

Why stasis? Harry had an idea how to mindfuck Tom Riddle eventually, using Snape’s corpse, but Harry did not want Severus Snape’s dead body stinking up Number 12, Grimmauld Place in the meantime.

Also, Voldemort wondering for days what had happened to Snape, but not knowing, hopefully also would mindfuck the Dark Lord and would make him hesitate in his plans.

****

One second later, just outside Snape’s gaol cell

Other-Dumbledore said, “The clock is ticking. Tom will realise soon, if he has not realised already, that his horcruxes are in danger—if not from Albus, then from my ‘nephew’ and me. Which means for all of us, before Tom checks up on the Diadem Horcrux, the Diadem Horcrux must be destroyed. We must act now.”

Other-Dumbledore conjured a lead box. “Local-Harry, please call Dobby.”

Agreeable Harry said, “Dobby.”

Pop. “The Great Master Harry Sir calls Dobby?”

Other-Dumbledore said, “Local-Harry, please order Dobby to take my Harry and me to the seventh-floor corridor in Hogwarts that is outside the Room of Requirement, then to wait for us to do our business, then to bring us back here to Grimmauld Place. Have Dobby bring us back here immediately if there is an emergency.”

Before Harry could speak such an order, Other-Dumbledore said, “Do the rest of you remember what the local Spirit of Hogwarts did? She made us all ignored by the Hogwarts wards. Unless one of us is standing right in front of Albus, he will not know any of us are in the castle. Which means we can enter the castle, go almost anywhere within the castle, and leave the castle, without Albus knowing. What Albus does not know, he cannot use to manipulate Local-Harry.”

Now Harry spoke to Dobby a repetition of Other-Dumbledore’s order. Dobby replied with “Dobby will!” whilst vigourously nodding his head.

Other-Dumbledore still was holding on to his conjured lead box. Dobby touched Other-Dumbledore’s leg and Other-Harry’s leg. Pop. Dobby, the two wizards and the lead box vanished.

****

Minutes later

Pop. Dobby, Other-Dumbledore and Other-Harry all returned to the dungeon of Grimmauld Place, to where Harry and Hermione (and Snape’s corpse) were. The old man still was holding the lead box.

Other-Dumbledore turned to Harry and said, “Local-Harry, please order Dobby as follows—”

“Dobby, here is the contaminated Diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw, inside this lead box. Elf-pop yourself, the lead box and Rowena’s Diadem to Gringotts. Tell whatever goblins you talk to that the new Lord Black wants you to present the infested Diadem directly to Director Ragnok. Once you are in the same room with Ragnok, give him the lead box, telling him to bill all expenses to the Black Coinage Vault for removing the horcrux but leaving the Diadem’s original magic intact, and ask that the de-horcruxed Diadem be put in the Black Heirlooms Vault. Then return here.”

Harry looked at Dobby. “Do what Percival Dumbledore said, just the way he said to do it.”

“Dobby will!” Pop. Dobby and the lead box were gone.

Other-Dumbledore said, “With the Diadem de-horcruxed, the only horcrux left is ... the snake. Whose name I forget.”

Harry frowned. “Nagini. She’s big, and she’s deadly.”

****

Other-Harry showed no emotion as he looked at the stasis-frozen dead man inside the gaol. Then Other-Harry said to Harry, “Now that you’ve killed one of Voldemort’s Death Eaters, you need to know more spells. Luckily for you, since you’re a Parselmouth, I know one hell of a resource for you.”

Hermione clapped her hands. “He means Slytherin’s Library, Harry. You’ll love it!”

Other-Dumbledore said, “Alas, people, I foresee a problem with my Harry’s idea.”

****

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Why was Snape killed, instead of turned over to the DMLE? Why was it Harry, not Other-Harry or Other-Dumbledore, who killed Snape?

Turning Snape over to the DMLE, no matter how many ice-cream eaters could be found as witnesses, would be a waste of time. Between all the secret Death Eaters in the Wizengamot, and Albus “Everyone Deserves A Second Chance” Dumbledore as Chief Warlock, only a naive fool would think that Snape would be in any danger of being convicted.

Now, if Snape had tried to Killing-Curse Other-Harry and Other-Dumbledore by Fortescue’s, then Other-Harry had Apparated behind Snape and immediately had killed him, this would have been open-and-shut Self-Defence. However, if Other-Harry or Other-Dumbledore had waited till everyone were in the Grimmauld Place dungeon to kill Snape, the “self-defence” defence would no longer be open and shut. It might be that Snape’s other-timeline killer, if put on trial, might be found guilty and be punished, simply based on the law.

In any case, Other-Harry or Other-Dumbledore would face a political problem if he were put on trial in front of the Wizengamot: He would have no friends in this timeline’s Wizengamot, who would vote to acquit him regardless of the facts.

Rather than Other-Harry or Other-Dumbledore, who had enough problems, just from being stuck in this timeline, having to worry about being sent to this timeline’s Azkaban or being executed, Harry killed Snape so that it was Local-Harry who assumed all the legal risk.

Besides, Harry understood what Albus Dumbledore did not: that Wizarding Britain was at war with Lord Voldemort, and in war, you kill people deliberately.

Chapter Text

Early the next morning (Sunday, 28th June, 6am)
At Hogwarts SOW&W

Albus was awakened at 6am by Wrinkly, the head Hogwarts house-elf. Wrinkly told the headmaster that a group of goblins was in the Hogwarts front entryway, ready to work. (Trustful Hagrid had opened the front gates when the goblins had asked him to do so.) The problem for Albus was, he was not expecting any goblins, and could not guess what work these goblins were ready to do.

Once Albus was standing in the entryway, he was told that the goblins were at Hogwarts to render the dead basilisk down to its different, and highly sought-after, parts. The goblin in charge, Ironhammer, showed Albus a contract.

Harry James Potter and Director Ragnok had signed the contract, each having used a Blood Quill.

Now Albus tried to send the goblins away by telling them that Harry was not here to let the goblins into the Chamber of Secrets, so sorry.

“It’s not a problem,” Ironhammer replied. Ironhammer explained that the goblins did not need for Harry to be present, because the goblins had recorded Harry’s hissing voice. One recording crystal, in playback mode, said “SSSS”; the other recording crystal played back as “SSSSS.”

Next, Albus demanded that the contract be amended so that half the galleons that would result from the sale of the basilisk parts, plus four liters of basilisk venom, go to Hogwarts. Albus’s justification: the basilisk had been killed on school grounds.

Ironhammer, and other goblins who were listening in, all laughed scornfully. “Wizard law is clear, Wizard Dumbledore: The boy wizard killed the basilisk alone, so the spoils are his alone to sell. Where he killed the monster does not matter to wizard law. Had he killed the basilisk in the Ministry Atrium, he still would own the carcass.”

Albus gave Ironhammer his best I am so disappointed in you look. “But Harry did not kill the basilisk alone. My phoenix blinded the basilisk, so I should get some of the spoils. Again I say, I think half is fair.”

Ironhammer no longer was laughing; now he was angry. “A twelve-year-old wizard boy was fighting for his life against both a sixty-foot-long basilisk and the shade of the Dark Wizard Voldemort. When you were told this, what did you do? Did you go there yourself, to aid the wizard child who was in double danger? No, you sent your bird, whilst you yourself stayed safe. Bah! You deserve not even one knut from the sale of the basilisk, coward!”

Ironhammer gestured to the rest of the goblins, and they all rushed past Albus and into the castle. They soon made it clear that they knew the way to Myrtle’s lavatory.

****

Two hours later, 8am
In the DMLE office of Amelia Bones, Director

Amelia was alone in her office with Senior Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt. Shacklebolt just had brought her a written report, and the most interesting crime-evidence she had seen all year.

Inside a clear evidence bag that lay on Amelia’s desk, was Severus Snape’s Dark-Marked left forearm under Stasis Charm.

The rest of Severus Snape was missing, and had been missing since sunset last night.

Ignoring the written report for now, Amelia asked Shacklebolt, “What do we know?”

He replied, “At Fortescue’s, sitting with Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were two similar-looking wizards, a generation apart in age. None of our witnesses recognised either of them. Snape cast two Killing Curses, not at Potter or at Granger, but at the two stranger wizards. Who, in the meantime, had jumped up and had drawn their wands. The older wizard made pebbles fly out of his pocket, he enlarged them midair, the curses hit them and this made the enlarged pebbles explode, but he already had put up a shield to save both wizards from harm by shrapnel. The younger wizard, meanwhile, had Apparated behind Snape. The younger wizard cast some sort of paralysis spell on Snape then. Without pulling up Snape’s sleeve to reveal the Dark Mark, the wizard cut off Snape’s arm at the elbow and cauterised both arm-parts. Then, with the help of two house-elves from an unknown House, the younger wizard and Snape were elf-popped away. The older wizard led Potter and Granger to the Diagon Alley Apparation point. By the time the Aurors arrived, the only sign that anything unusual had happened was a severed, Dark Marked left forearm”—Shacklebolt chin-pointed at the evidence bag on the desk—“in the street, along with a few drops of Snape’s blood.”

Amelia nodded. “Excellent summary. Your thoughts?”

“Ma’am, that thing that the older wizard did, with the pebbles? I know how to do that, in theory. I could teach it at the Auror Academy, in theory.”

“But...?”

“But today, did I think to put pebbles in my pocket after I put on my Auror robes? No. If I were carrying pebbles in my pocket and some git tried to Killing Curse me, would I be able to bring out the pebbles, enlarge them and charm up a shield, in time? No way. Merlin, in that moment, I’d probably forget I had the pebbles altogether. My point: Whoever that wizard is, his stunt with the pebbles went smoothly and quickly only because of much, much, much practise.”

Amelia sighed. “I can’t do that either; and in theory, I’m Director because I’m the best Auror in the DMLE.”

Shacklebolt continued his thoughts: “No witness recognised either of the two wizards with Potter and Granger, they were a generation apart in age, and they were spooky-good at fighting Death Eaters. I think they’re a father-and-son team of foreigner Hit Wizards.”

Amelia asked, “You don’t think that they’re the other-timeline Dumbledore and Potter that our Dumbledore brought here?”

Shacklebolt made a face. “I’m not sure either way, ma’am. I don’t know enough about those other versions of Dumbledore and Harry Potter.”

Amelia said, “The wizard who cut the forearm off of helpless Severus Snape, I hope it was indeed a foreigner Hit Wizard and not the alternate-timeline Harry Potter.”

“Why?”

“Because he cut the forearm off when Snape was helpless. If another version of Harry Potter can do this, what about our Harry Potter? As much shit as Albus has put that boy through, Potter is primed to become the darkest of Dark Lords.”

Shacklebolt looked horrified.

Amelia looked at him. “Change of subject. Ordinarily, Shack, I’d be asking you why you didn’t arrest Albus Dumbledore for three counts of kidnapping. But instead of putting you on the spot, let me throw out a four-part theory. One, you’ve secretly joined Albus’s little militia club. Two, joining the Order required you to give an oath of obedience to Albus. You willingly made the oath. Three, Albus ordered you, ‘Don’t arrest me for anything you see me do unless Amelia orders you to.’ Four, Albus forgot to tell you not to tell me, or else he thought performing the ritual was not illegal.”

Shacklebolt gave Amelia a sickly smile, instead of disagreeing with her theory. Then he asked, “So why aren’t you arresting Albus Dumbledore?”

She sighed. “Arresting is one thing, but getting the Wizengamot to convict him is a different matter entirely. As soon as Albus would tell the ’Mot, ‘I brought the other timeline’s Harry Potter here for the Greater Good,’ there goes my hope for a conviction.”

Amelia then asked Shacklebolt to describe Friday’s summoning ritual. Shacklebolt described it. Then Amelia asked, “What else happened in that meeting, that might or might not be important later on?”

Shacklebolt replied, “Molly Weasley insists that Potter’s friendship with Granger is no different from Potter’s relationship with her son Ronald. But I think she’s mistaken.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve seen how Potter looked at Granger sometimes, during the summer of ’95. And”—Shacklebolt laughed—“if Potter looks at Ronald Weasley the same way he looks at Granger, then Potter ‘stirs the potion anticlockwise.’ ”

Amelia murmured, “Susan will be disappointed.”

Right then, a parchment-aeroplane flew into Amelia’s office, sent by the Goblin Liaison Office. The note said that Gringotts has sent over the death certificate for Severus Tobias Snape. Cause of death: Not listed. Manner of death: Not listed: Date/time of death: 27 June 1996, 9.25pm. Amelia glanced at Shacklebolt’s report—9.25pm was only a few minutes after Snape had been elf-popped away from Diagon Alley.

Amelia said, “This case might have turned into a homicide. Or it might still be justified-self-defence.”

****

Meanwhile at Number 12, Grimmauld Place
During breakfast in the kitchen

In a story that was front-page, above the fold, inside a black box (because the story had been written past deadline), the Daily Prophet reported that Harry Potter, whose “wand was pointed at You-Know-Who when he was turned into a marble statue,” now no longer was a statue. Yesterday evening, Potter had been seen at Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour, along with his “close friend Hermione Granger and two men.”

The Prophet then reported that Hogwarts Potions professor Severus Snape then had tried to Killing-Curse the two men who were with Potter and with Granger. Then one of the two men had severed Snape’s arm and had disappeared with Snape. To the amazement of the Daily Prophet, Harry Potter had been completely uninvolved in the incident—he had not been a potential victim and he had not fought Professor Snape.

Now Harry tapped the newspaper. “When I do something, it’s news; and now when I don’t do something, this is news too. Why can’t they treat me like just Harry, an ordinary wizard?”

Hermione sighed. “Because there is no ‘just Harry,” there never was, and there never will be. Listen, you defeated Voldy when you were fifteen months old—”

“It was my mother—”

“But everyone gives you the credit. At the end of the Triwizard, Voldy was resurrected and tried to kill you. Were you killed? No, you escaped and tried to tell everyone, ‘Voldemort is back!’ Afterwards the minister called you an attention-seeking liar, and the Prophet called you an attention-seeking liar; but nine days ago, you were proven right.

“Not to mention, I cast some spells at Voldemort in the Atrium, which were blocked, and some Aurors cast spells at Voldemort in the Atrium; but without a pensieve, can I prove I was brave that day? No. But you? Here it is, in print: When you were turned into a statue, your wand was pointed at Voldemort. In terms of how the wizarding public sees you, right now you are golden.”

“Hermione, you know I don’t like drawing attention to myself.”

“Yes, and I have guesses why you think it’s better to sit down, shut up and not make trouble for anyone.” Hermione blew out her cheeks for a moment, to make her face temporarily look fat. “Harry, here’s the truth: Your enemies are perfectly willing to draw attention to themselves when they lie about you—Draco, the late Professor Snape, former Minister Fudge, the headmaster and Rita Skeeter. Ron, when he’s a git. When you don’t speak up for yourself, what happens is not that nothing is said about you; instead, lies are told about you, and you never publicly refute the lies!”

Harry and Hermione stared into each other’s eyes. Nobody spoke for a time—not Other-Dumbledore, Other-Harry, Hermione or Harry himself. Harry felt unsettled.

“Please, Harry,” Hermione said, “become the leader that the DA has proven you can be, and that Albus Dumbledore pretends to be. The sheep of Wizarding Britain need a shepherd; let that shepherd be you. Let ‘just Harry’ die.”

Again there was silence. Then Harry took a deep breath, let it out, and said, “You’ve never given me bad advice, Hermione. Okay.”

****

Within the hour, Harry had written a letter to the Daily Prophet.

Enclosed with the letter were certified Gringotts copies of the wills of James and Lily Potter. Harry pointed out in his letter that both wills said that Sirius Black was Harry’s “oath-sworn godfather” and that Sirius Black was each Potter parent’s first choice as Harry’s guardian, whilst Peter Pettigrew was mentioned in each Will as the house’s Secret Keeper.

Harry wrote those things because he wanted Sirius’s posthumous reputation to be entirely restored.

Harry also wrote to the Prophet, “Curiously, each Will said that in no circumstances was I supposed to be put with my mother’s sister and her husband, Petunia and Vernon Dursley. Yet it was with them that Albus Dumbledore put me in November 1981. It has been with the Dursleys whom I have unwillingly lived for fifteen years. Life with the Dursleys has been awful.”

Harry “kindly” did not point out that Albus Dumbledore was mentioned in neither Will except as a witness to the Will-signing, and that nothing in the text of either Will could be interpreted as We want Albus Dumbledore to be Harry’s magical guardian. Instead, Harry would let the Prophet discover those two interesting facts on their own.

Changing the subject to Voldemort (not to “You-Know-Who” or similar), Harry wrote, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the wizards and witches of Wizarding Britain vastly outnumber Tom Marvolo Riddle and his brutes. Don’t run from Riddle, fight him, don’t be afraid to be deadly towards his murderous minions when defending yourself, and if the numbers are enough on your side, you will win the battle. The bad news is: The DMLE is underfunded, thanks to Fudge, and the DMLE has been underfunded for years. Amelia Bones and her people can’t save you if you don’t lift your wands to save yourselves.”

****

Meanwhile in the Hogwarts Great Hall, during breakfast

Albus Dumbledore was eating breakfast with the few professors who remained in the castle during summer holidays. Which basically meant Filius Flitwick and Sybill Trelawney—except Miss Trelawney never came to breakfast.

Albus was unhappy—and not only because of the invasion of his castle by goblin basilisk-harvesters.

The three other-timeline people had disappeared; Albus’s only certainty about their location now was that they were not in the castle. Much worse, Harry likewise was gone from the castle.

(Albus was ignorant of his would-be puppets’ whereabouts because he was skiving off the reading of this morning’s Daily Prophet.)

And now, to make Albus’s morning worse, two Gringotts owls were winging their way towards the headmaster. He thought, This cannot be good.

It turned out that the news was not merely not-good, it was a disaster. Albus’s employee Severus was dead, as of 9.25pm last night. Maddeningly, the goblins gave Albus no other information at all.

Well, shit!

Albus figured that Tom finally had lost his temper and had Killing-Cursed Severus.

The other letter from Gringotts was from Director Ragnok. Ragnok’s letter to Albus informed him that Director Ragnok and Albus had “grave matters to discuss, regarding Vault L687,” which was the trust vault of Harry James Potter.

The letter said that after they met, if Ragnok were satisfied with Albus’s answers, Ragnok would lift Bladebloody’s one-month ban of Albus from Gringotts, which was in force till 26 July. Otherwise, if Albus did not come in, the full one-month ban would remain in force, and furthermore, Ragnok would take “punitive action as needed.”

Albus sighed. He was not worried about any audit that Ragnok might perform on Vault L687, because Albus had not stolen anything from the boy’s trust vault—though Albus had been sorely tempted. But being summoned to Gringotts as though he were a thief like Mundungus Fletcher, was annoying.

But then Albus got a frightening thought: What if someone else somehow had stolen coinage from Vault L687, and Albus were being blamed? If so, Albus was facing years of hard labour in a goblin mine! If coinage missing from Harry’s vault were why Ragnok had written his strange letter, how could Albus prove his innocence?

But perhaps Albus was getting excited over nothing. The only possible “grave matters to discuss, regarding Vault L687” that Albus knew that Gringotts might find, was that Albus was holding Harry’s key instead of giving the key to vaultholder Harry. Albus planned to explain to Ragnok that in Albus’s opinion, fifteen-year-old Harry was not mature enough to possess a Gringotts key, and should spend money from his trust vault only with approval from wise Albus.

****

Meanwhile, at the house of Dolores Umbridge

A different owl-letter from Director Ragnok of Gringotts was sent out this morning, this letter addressed to Dolores Umbridge.

The letter was only a few lines, saying that Dolores’s vault now was inaccessible due to unspecified “irregularities,” and would remain inaccessible till Miss Umbridge spoke to Director Ragnok face-to-face and they came to an agreement.

Dolores took umbrage at “those filthy animals” abusing bank procedures to “steal” her money. She rushed down to the bank, the letter gripped in one chubby hand, to give voice to her anger.

Dolores wound up not only giving voice, but giving her entire head. Who knew that the goblins got really pissy about a simpering, overweight witch stealing a Blood Quill?

But between the time that angry Dolores arrived in Ragnok’s office, and the time she was axed to be quiet, she was questioned about more than the Blood Quill.

****

Using a goblin Truth Disk, the goblins questioned Dolores about the big amounts of money that had come into her vaults, much more money than she earned as Senior Undersecretary. It turned out that naughty Dolores had been taking bribes from “Imperiused” Death Eaters, then had been splitting the bribes 20-80 with Cornelius. The goblins then asked Dolores who gave her bribes, and how much the bribes were for.

Director Ragnok sent a copy of Dolores’s interrogation transcript to Amelia Bones, along with a note that confirmed that deposits to the personal vault of Cornelius Fudge matched, both by amount and by date, Dolores’s testimony.

The practical effect of Director Ragnok’s letter to Amelia Bones was nil, because Cornelius Fudge by this time had been no-confidenced, so no longer was Minister. In theory, Amelia could have ordered Aurors to arrest the ex-Minister for bribery, but she needed her Aurors focussed on the threat of Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

****

Meanwhile, in Gringotts Courtroom Ogshi’ork

Even as Harry Potter was writing to the Daily Prophet, “Life with the Dursleys has been awful,” Vernon and Petunia Dursley were being put on trial for theft.

Specifically, they were charged with misappropriation of funds intended for Harry’s care. Dudley Dursley would be separately tried, for child-on-child assault of a Gringotts vaultholder.

The Dursley parents’ trial was a short one, because in fifteen years, they could show only twenty-seven receipts to prove that they had bought things for Harry’s care; the total of those twenty-seven receipts came to £368.83. Vernon and Petunia Dursley were found guilty of theft.

Dudley was tried second but was sentenced first. After his trial, Dudley was taken by a Muggle-born Gringotts employee to London Disciplinary High School. Dudley would be held at LDHS until he completed schooling at about age eighteen; then Dudley would be sent to prison till his twenty-first birthday. The goblins put Dudley under a compulsion that he could not speak about, or write about, magic.

Once Dudley was removed from Courtroom Ogshi’ork, Vernon and Petunia were sentenced. All their assets were to be seized; since the value of their assets was not enough to pay back to Harry what they owed him, the adult Dursleys were beheaded.

****

At the moment that Vernon Dursley was being beheaded, his sister Marge was in a holding cell, somewhere in Muggle England. She had been arrested by the local (Muggle) police for assault on a child (by means of an animal), and for illegal dog breeding.

Eventually Marge would be sentenced to seven years in Holloway women’s prison. By the time she would enter the prison, Ripper would have been put down.

****

Later that morning (11am), at Hogwarts

Albus needed to find Harry and, for Harry’s own good, to put him with the Dursleys. The problem for Albus was, Harry was missing but Albus could not guess where Harry was. Albus was unable to guess because he was certain that Harry did not know he had places to live other than with the Dursleys.

But then it finally occurred to Albus that whilst Harry did not know he had options where to live, the other timeline’s Percival Dumbledore and Harry knew about those options and would tell Harry—assuming that Harry was together with the three Summoned magicals. As soon as Percival Dumbledore was told, “This timeline’s Sirius Black is dead,” he would tell Harry, “you now own”... the place where Sirius Black lived.

Albus realised, Where Sirius Black lived is under a new Fidelius Charm! This is probably where Harry is!

Still, Albus tried searching first for Harry at Potter Manor, since searching there was the much easier option. Albus Apparated to the entryway of Potter Manor and cast Homenum Revelio. This spell told him that the only beings at Potter Manor were four house-elves—

Pop-p-p-pop.

—who elf-popped into the Potter Manor entryway and glared at Albus. The house-elf in a grey tuxedo said to Albus, “This not bes you’s house. Go away.”

“Is Harry here?”

“No. Now you go.”

“Indeed, I shall be going now,” Albus said, and he Apparated back to the headmaster’s office.

****

Albus had completely forgotten where Sirius Black had lived, and hours were missing from Albus’s memory. This confirmed to Albus that a new Fidelius had been laid down on ... Sirius’s former home ... after Sirius’s death.

Albus had forgotten where Sirius Black had lived; but fortunately, Albus had developed a workaround.

Now Albus walked to the place on his office wall where he kept his runes-Disillusioned safe.

In this safe, Albus kept the names, and the Floo addresses and/or Apparation coordinates, for every place he had been the Secret Keeper for, either directly by the original Secret Keeper ritual, or when the Secret Keeper had told Dumbledore the Secret, then the Secret Keeper had died. Albus also kept here the Floo addresses and/or Apparation coordinates for every place he thought might someday be put under a Fidelius Charm (such as Miss Granger’s parents’ house).

When someone had cast a new Fidelius on one of those places that were written-up in Albus’s safe, every person’s memory of the location was erased; and any document that listed the location, or that listed the previous Secret, was blurred so that it could not be read—

Ordinarily.

Albus’s safe had some odd Muggle copper-screen box—a faraway cage?—built in, just inside the safe’s walls. This copper box, when the safe’s door was shut, blocked magic from affecting documents that were stored inside the safe.

Now Albus opened the safe, and soon found the slip for Black Manor. The slip was written in Albus’s own handwriting, though now Albus did not remember writing it. The slip listed Apparation coordinates for Black Manor that now Albus did not remember even slightly.

Albus memorised the Apparation coordinates, put the Black Manor slip back inside the safe, and shut the safe door.

The Apparation coordinates for Black Manor were similar enough to those for Diagon Alley that Albus deduced that Black Manor had to be somewhere in central London.

****

Albus was officially not a coward. After all, had he not been Sorted in 1892 into Gryffindor, the Hogwarts House of the Brave? (No matter that the Hat had wanted to put young Albus in Slytherin; eventually young Albus had prevailed.)

But Albus had heard, for the entirety of his long life, how unforgiving the House Black wards were to intruders.

Trying to Apparate or to portkey into a Black property, when your name was not in the Ward Ledger, was not like running into a brick wall. No, it was like running into a brick wall that had swords and knives sticking out; then whilst you were trying to remove your bleeding body from the multiple stabbings, someone atop the wall poured boiling acid on you, whilst someone else atop the wall smote as much of your body as he could reach with a burning torch.

So now Albus did not try to Apparate or to flame-travel into Black Manor. Instead, Albus ordered Fawkes to flame-travel to Black Manor in London, to grab Harry, and to bring the boy to the headmaster’s office.

Foom. Fawkes flamed away—

BANG.

—and returned an instant later as a phoenix-chick. A shivering, frost-covered phoenix-chick.

Well, shit, Albus thought.

****

Meanwhile in Black Manor (Number 12, Grimmauld Place)

Other-Dumbledore had explained to the others during breakfast that since the goblins would be in Slytherin’s Chamber all day today, harvesting the basilisk, it would be most unwise for the two Harrys, their bookworm girlfriends and Local-Luna to visit Slytherin’s Library today—which was, after all, accessible only through Slytherin’s Chamber.

Other-Dumbledore had explained, “I trust the goblins much more than I trust many wizards. But if the goblins do not know about Slytherin’s Library, Tom Riddle never will hear about Slytherin’s Library if he does not already know about it.”

After Harry had written his letter to the Daily Prophet, Other-Dumbledore, the Harrys, the Hermiones and Luna all had gone to Number Twelve’s battle-training room, and had been there ever since. Other-Dumbledore was teaching the three local-timeline teenagers and Other-Hermione how to use pebbles in one’s pocket to defend oneself against the Killing Curse.

Other-Dumbledore had conjured a “tragic wand”—a wand-looking tapered wooden stick without a wand core. Then Other-Dumbledore had put his real wand—the bumpy wand—in his pocket.

When Other-Dumbledore, who was now standing 74 feet away, pointed his tragic wand at someone and yelled “Avada Kedavra,” nothing happened. Except that the supposed Killing Curse victim heard the incantation spoken.

The challenge for the Killing Curse “victim” was to summon a pebble out of his or her pocket and to make the pebble fly in front of him/her, whilst enlarging the pebble to be big enough that the Killing Curse was entirely blocked by the pebble, and whilst creating a shield that would block the shrapnel when the enlarged pebble exploded backwards.

To add to the challenge, all these spells had to be cast in the 1.00 second it would take a real Killing Curse to travel from 74 feet away to where the “victim” was standing. One second after the “victim” finished hearing Avada Kedavra, the “victim” heard a bell-sound. Other-Hermione, at one point, had jokingly “explained” the bell: “Ask not for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

Meanwhile, since no Killing Curse actually was cast, the enlarged pebble did not actually explode backwards into the shield that was charmed-up by the “victim.” But Other-Harry was right there by the “victim,” casting a spell to make the floating enlarged-pebble explode backwards into the shield.

When the teenagers first started pebble-training, right after breakfast, it took each of them between five and ten seconds to do all the things that they needed to do. Back then, had a genuine Killing Curse been cast, the victim would have been only a small way through his or her defence when he or she would have been killed. But by the time everyone quit for dinner, the teenagers’ Killing Curse defence-time had been reduced to one-to-two seconds—they were still “dead,” but were much improved.

Other-Dumbledore’s dinnertime advice? “Do not wait for the entire Killing Curse to be spoken. As soon as you hear Ava, defend yourself.”

****

That evening, in Number 12, Grimmauld Place

Harry’s magic Gringotts mailbox was glowing, which meant that Harry had a no-tracking, no-mind-magics letter to read.

The letter turned out to be from Director Ragnok at Gringotts. He wrote to report that Slytherin’s Locket and Rowena’s Diadem both had been de-horcruxed, the Black Coinage Vault had been charged G143 apiece, then Slytherin’s Locket and Rowena’s Diadem each had been placed in the Black Heirlooms Vault.

Ragnok also reported that the goblins had completed their “curse-breaker training exercise,” and the Ring Horcrux had been found and had been removed “with only minor problems”—meaning, with only light goblin casualties—then the Ring Horcrux had been de-horcruxed.

However, the de-horcruxed Ring had not been placed in the Black Heirlooms Vault.

Ragnok explained, “We discovered that the Ring has an unusual property, besides being a Horcrux, which Percival Dumbledore did not tell us about. Because of the Ring’s unusual quality, Gringotts shall be keeping the Ring so that no wizard shall see it again.”

Also, Director Ragnok wrote to inform Harry that the basilisk had been rendered, and the rendered parts all had been transported to the goblin caverns for evaluation.

Already there had been a sale from the rendering of the basilisk: a goblin clan chief had bought a basilisk tooth. Since Harry Potter’s new Basilisk vault now had coinage in it (563 galleons from the sale of the tooth), the key to this new vault was enclosed.

When all the parts of the basilisk eventually would be sold off—at auction—the evaluators predicted that the total payout to Harry’s new vault L4936 would be more than G1 500 000.

(Harry choked, reading this.)

The Gringotts letter concluded by asking Harry, what did he want to do with the basilisk skeleton? Harry was given three choices—

1) The entire skeleton would be sold at auction, bone by bone, to potioneers who would grind up the bones and would use them in erection-boosting potions. Choosing this option would boost the payout to Harry’s vault to G2 300 000 or more;

2) Same as Option 1, except that the basilisk skull, with replica fangs in its mouth, would be permanently displayed in the Gringotts lobby. Displayed with the skull would be a sign saying, “Harry James Potter slew this sixty-foot-long basilisk, alone, at age twelve”; or

3) Harry Potter would be given the entire basilisk skeleton, with no fangs removed, to display at Potter Manor however he wished. Not selling the fangs at auction would reduce Harry’s estimated payout by about G50 000.

After Hermione read the letter, her only comment was, “Sell the skeleton, or most of it. As underpopulated as Wizarding Britain is, anything that helps Pureblood wizards to make more babies is a good thing.”

“Perhaps,” Harry replied, “but do I want to help Lucius Malfoy keep his todger stiff when he’s in bed with Narcissa?”

Chapter Text

The next morning (Monday, 29th June)
Still at Number 12, Grimmauld Place

Harry summoned Greyclay, the head Potter house-elf, to see whether his idea about the basilisk skeleton was possible. As part of this discussion, Greyclay elf-popped Harry to Potter Manor; where Harry and Greyclay walked through the formal dining room—a room big enough to hold banquets.

Once Harry was back at Grimmauld Place, he wrote to Ragnok, “I claim the entire basilisk skeleton, fangs and all. However, I cannot actually take the skeleton till Potter Manor is repaired and is warded. Feel free to charge the Potter Coinage Vault weekly rent whilst you store the basilisk skeleton in your caverns. When I am ready to bring all the basilisk bones to Potter Manor, how much to hire a goblin to reassemble the bones back into a skeleton?”

As Harry sent off the letter to Gringotts, he grinned. For centuries to come, whenever banqueters would sit in the Potter Manor formal dining room and would eat food that House Potter had paid for, every time those banqueters would look up, they would receive the clear message, Don’t mess with House Potter!

To make his descendants proud, Harry planned to add a plaque on the wall, just inside the entrance doors for the Potter Manor formal dining room: “On 29 May 1993, Harry James Potter in Slytherin’s Chamber slew the basilisk that was terrorising Hogwarts. Twelve-year-old Harry, not knowing any spells that could slay the basilisk, instead stabbed the beast through the roof of its mouth with the Sword of Gryffindor.”

****

Meanwhile, at Gringotts

About the same time that Harry Potter sent a letter to Director Ragnok at Gringotts, Albus Dumbledore was meeting with Director Ragnok in Gringotts.

The good news for Albus: Ragnok confirmed that Albus was not suspected of stealing anything from Harry Potter’s trust vault (L687), so Albus would not be tried in a goblin court; and Ragnok was lifting Albus’s ban on doing business with Gringotts that Account Manager Bladebloody had placed on Albus.

The bad news for Albus? Harry James Potter was the vaultholder for Vault L687, not Albus Dumbledore, and Ragnok quite disapproved of Albus keeping Harry’s key. Now that Harry was emancipated and was thus an adult (to Ragnok’s way of thinking), Ragnok claimed that Albus had no reason at all to be holding Harry’s trust-vault key, “so give me the key! Now!”

Albus replied, “Ragnok”—Albus omitted the Director title—“You disappoint me. You have just told me that your audit of L687 shows that I have stolen no money, so it seems obvious to me that it is I who should hold on to Harry’s key. Alas, boyish Harry lacks the maturity to be entrusted with his own Gringotts key.”

Albus was surprised that the goblin was not persuaded by Albus’s well-chosen words. Instead, Ragnok ordered his office’s two armed goblins to stand close to Albus, then Ragnok told Albus, “Hand over Mr Potter’s key, or lose your life. You have thirty seconds.”

Albus gave Ragnok his strongest I am so disappointed in you look, but did not dare speak such words again. With a sigh, Albus laid Harry’s key on Ragnok’s desk.

Ragnok promptly burnt up the surrendered key in magical flames, then goblin-conjured a new key that looked a bit different from the just-destroyed key. This showed that Ragnok did not trust Albus not to have made a duplicate of the old key (even though such a thing was impossible in theory).

Then, to add insult to previous insult, Ragnok fined Dumbledore’s personal vault G100 because Dumbledore never had given the key to the vaultholder, Harry.

****

When Albus returns to Hogwarts

At breakfast, Albus had been way nervous about his upcoming meeting with Ragnok—for all Albus knew, he would end the day being unjustly sentenced to a goblin mine! Because of his nervousness, Albus this morning had not even glanced at the Daily Prophet at breakfast.

Worried Albus had not read this morning’s Daily Prophet before his meeting with Ragnok, because he had known he would not remember afterwards, anything that he had read.

Now after Albus’s meeting with Ragnok, Albus found this morning’s Prophet waiting on his desk—and also, he was ear-blasted with many Howlers that yelled at him that “For how you treated Harry Potter and Sirius Black, shame on you!”

Albus wondered, What has happened this morning?

It was only when Albus belatedly read this morning’s Prophet that he got a clue about why so many Howlers were being sent to him.

The Prophet’s big news for Albus: Harry Potter no longer was a statue.

Albus’s first reaction was WHAT? With me completely uninvolved, not giving a single order? Impossible!

When confused Albus calmed down, he resumed reading—

Recently, not-statue Harry had obtained copies of his parents’ wills from Gringotts. (The wills on file with the Ministry still were sealed.) Harry had sent a copy of each Will to the Daily Prophet, and the Prophet had printed the full text of both wills.

Harry pointed out in his letter to the Daily Prophet that both wills said that Sirius Black was Harry’s “oath-sworn godfather” and that Sirius Black was each Potter parent’s first choice as Harry’s guardian, whilst Peter Pettigrew was mentioned in each Will as the house’s Secret Keeper.

The Prophet asked, “Didn’t Dumbledore know some of this? And if Dumbledore knew, why didn’t he act on his knowledge?”

Then Harry got vicious against Albus. Harry also wrote in his letter to the Daily Prophet—

Curiously, each Will said that in no circumstances was I supposed to be put with my mother’s sister and her husband, Petunia and Vernon Dursley. Yet it was with exactly those two whom Albus Dumbledore put me in November 1981. I have lived unwillingly with the Dursleys for fifteen years. Life with the Dursleys has been awful.

Tut-tut, Albus thought. Harry should have mentioned what Albus had explained to the boy many times, that his placement with the Dursleys was for the Greater Good. Albus felt greatly disappointed in Harry.

The Prophet then claimed that “a careful reading of the wills reveals” that nowhere did the Potter wills name Dumbledore as either Potter parent’s choice for the boy’s guardian, not even as fourth choice after Sirius, Alice Longbottom and Amelia Bones; and Albus was mentioned nowhere in either Will, except at a witness.

After reporting these things, the Prophet reported, “According to our legal experts who have read the wills, Sirius Black (disregarding his untimely death for the moment) should be Harry Potter’s sole guardian now, if Black were tried and acquitted; else either Augusta Longbottom or Amelia Bones should be Harry Potter’s sole guardian now. Potter’s guardian absolutely should not be the combination of the Muggle Dursleys and Albus Dumbledore. According to our legal experts, Albus Dumbledore’s ‘guardianship’ of Harry Potter has no support in the law. This means that if ‘Magical Guardian’ Dumbledore has taken money from a Potter vault, he has committed theft; if he has signed a betrothal or marriage contract for Harry Potter, Dumbledore has committed Line Theft.”

Albus, who had planned to write a betrothal contract between Miss Ginevra Weasley and Harry in Harry’s sixth year, now felt annoyed.

Harry, at the end of his letter to the Daily Prophet, wrote about Voldemort. Albus was shocked to read these sentences by Harry—

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the wizards and witches of Wizarding Britain vastly outnumber Tom Marvolo Riddle and his brutes. Don’t run from Riddle, fight him, don’t be afraid to be deadly towards his murderous minions when defending yourself, and if the numbers are enough on your side, you will win the battle. The bad news is: The DMLE is underfunded, thanks to Fudge; and the DMLE has been underfunded for years, thanks to Fudge. Amelia Bones and her people can’t save you if you don’t lift your wands to save yourselves.

Albus thought, No, no, no, what Harry wrote is all wrong!

Publicly revealing Lord Voldemort’s real name would only incite the Dark Lord to greater rage. And urging ordinary magicals to battle Death Eaters to the death would get many magicals killed; worse, such attacks by ordinary magicals would get Death Eaters killed, before they could be redeemed.

Back to the news story: Amelia Bones was quoted in the same news article, responding to Harry’s words about the DMLE—

Sad to say, but Harry Potter is right. My Aurors always will try our best to save people, but our best won’t be enough. People must prepare to save themselves.

The absolute worst part of the news article of all, to Albus: Harry was talking about killing, and had persuaded Amelia to condone killing. Harry was turning Dark!

Albus wrote Harry an I am so disappointed in you letter. Albus’s letter also mentioned “The Dursleys are your family” and “I fear you are turning Dark.”

Hours later, Albus received a reply-owl from Harry: “Albus Dumbledore, you are either shockingly stupid or willfully blind.”

****

Meanwhile, within Slytherin’s Library

So why did Harry Potter not answer Albus Dumbledore’s letter till hours later? Because Harry was not in Number 12, Grimmauld Place to check his Gringotts vanishing-cabinet mailbox till hours later. Harry did not read the headmaster’s letter—which Gringotts had stripped of Albus Dumbledore’s tracking charms, listening charms and many compulsions—till hours later.

Those hours when Harry was away from Number 12, Grimmauld Place, where was he?

When Albus Dumbledore sent his booby-trapped owl-letter to Harry, Harry—along with his other-timeline twin, both Hermiones, Luna and Other-Dumbledore—just had entered Slytherin’s Library. Slytherin’s Library was a part of the Chamber of Secrets that Harry never before had suspected was there. Other-Harry just had shown Harry all the little Parselmagic secrets he needed to know, in order to enter this library.

Now in Slytherin’s Library, Other-Harry was showing Harry the slim book, §Read This First§, that laid on top of the big table by the bookshelves. Other-Harry was explaining to Harry how this book could be used.

Meanwhile, when everyone else entered Slytherin’s Library, Other-Hermione asked Hermione, “Have you read the autobiographies of Founders Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff that are in the Hogwarts Library?”

“Of course!” Hermione replied. “But not any autobiography of Founder Slytherin. I presume his autobiography is in the Restricted Section.” Left unsaid: And until I have Restricted Section privileges, I will not read any Restricted Section book, unless it’s for homework or I am sneaking a read as part of a Harry Potter adventure.

Other-Hermione shook her head. “Slytherin’s autobiography isn’t in the Restricted Section. Founder Slytherin’s autobiography is here, written in Parseltext. The good news is, your Harry can magically translate the book for you.”

“What’s the bad news?”

Other-Hermione snarled, “Salazar Slytherin was a bloody berk! If he were standing in front of me, I’d slap his face. His pillock idea was to kidnap me when I first did accidental magic, to Obliviate my parents into believing I’d died, then to give four-year-old me to a magical family to raise. Can you imagine my life if little-I were given to Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy to raise? I’d be dead before I was age five!”

Hermione said, “Yeah, and giving me to Arthur and Molly Weasley wouldn’t have been much better. I wouldn’t have become their second daughter, I’d have become their first servant girl.”

Harry turned away from his instructions from Other-Harry to nod at Hermione. “The magical family you would have been raised with, would have never passed up a chance to tell you that you were a freak.”

Percival Dumbledore said, “In fairness to Salazar, life a thousand years ago was for the students and professors, much more dangerous. The Yakslys were the only nonmagical parents whom any of the Founders mentioned, who had an attitude of ‘We do not understand how our son could be magical, but he is not evil and the Church shall not get their hands on him!’ A thousand years ago, Muggle-born Hogwarts students were killed by their own families, or by village neighbours, or were handed over to the Church, which burnt them at the stake. Three times during Godric’s lifetime, a nonmagical army showed up at Hogwarts; the prince or churchman in charge found the castle by using information from coerced Muggle-born students. It’s no surprise, Gazer”—Slytherin’s basilisk—“was let out to play each time. The Founders had a big problem; and Salazar, give him credit, had what he believed was a solution to this problem.”

“Pfft,” Hermione said with a sneer. “A ‘solution’ of being Killing Cursed by Lucius Malfoy, else being turned into a sullen servant girl by Molly Weasley. I’d sooner face Bishop Vernon Dursley and his army.”

Harry hugged his girlfriend.

****

Other-Harry clapped his hands and looked at Harry. “It’s time to get to work, everyone. I’m eager to teach Local-Harry many Parsel spells that the local Dark Lord knows not.”

Immediately Hermione said to Other-Harry, “Ensure you teach my Harry the Parseltext-translation spell.”

Grinning Other-Harry said to Hermione, “You’re bossy.”

Hermione did not smack Other-Harry then; instead, it was Other-Hermione who smacked Other-Harry on the arm.

Other-Hermione huffed. “Honestly, Harry.”

“Let’s start easy,” Harry said. “Hermione wants to read Slytherin’s autobiography. Let’s find it.”

After finding the spell he needed in the §Read This First§ book, which was followed by a bit of spell-practise muttering, Harry pointed his wand of the many shelves of green-cover books and hissed, “§I summon every book with the title, begin one, ‘autobiography’ or ‘memoir,’ end one, and the author ‘Salazar Slytherin.’§”

Somewhere behind the front bookshelf, a green-cover book worked its way off its shelf and moved through bookshelf-aisles, eventually to float over the big conference table. Other-Harry coached Harry to tap the floating book with his wand, then the book slowly dropped.

“This is the book you want,” Harry told Hermione. The book’s title was §The Founding of Hogwarts: A Memoir§, and was written by Salazar Slytherin.

Hermione said, “I thank you for this, but now you need to cast Conjure Translation. Right now, I can’t read one word on yonder green cover.”

After Harry checked with §Read This First§ again, he pointed his wand at §The Founding of Hogwarts: A Memoir§, hissed “§Conjure Translation§,” and a blue-cover book, with the same dimensions as the green-cover book, appeared next to the green-cover book. Hermione glanced at the blue front cover—whose title she now apparently could read—squealed, and hugged Harry fiercely.

Seconds later, Hermione was sitting in a chair, flipping through the blue-cover version of Slytherin’s memoir. Harry, whilst he was tapping a page in the §Read This First§ book, asked Hermione, “Think you’ll want a permanent copy of the book?”

“You bet,” Hermione said, grinning. “The book isn’t just ‘I did this, I did that’—there are long-forgotten spells in here!”

Harry said, “I’ll need an old book that I can cannabalise for the transfiguration.” A second later, Harry realised, “Actually, I’m going to need many old books to cannabalise, for many book-transfigurations.”

Then Harry called out, “Greyclay.”

Pop. The grey-tuxedoed house-elf appeared by the big table. “Lord Potter call Greyclay?”

Harry asked the head Potter house-elf, “You know what the Come and Go Room is, and where it is, right?”

“Yes, Greyclay know.”

“Go into the Come and Go Room and grab twenty books in good-enough condition. By which I mean: each book’s spine isn’t broken, the cover is intact and no pages are falling out. But I don’t care how old each book is, or what it’s about. I just need for the book to be in good shape. Grab twenty such books and stack them on the table here.”

“Greyclay will!” Pop.

Other-Dumbledore said approvingly to Harry, “You told your house-elf that the old books be in good condition because you remembered that the more similarities that the object to be transfigured has with the object that it will be transfigured into, the less magic is needed for the transfiguration.”

Harry said, “Huh. I would expect Professor McGonagall to figure out what I was doing, but how did you figure it out?”

Other-Dumbledore smiled. “Because it was I who taught Transfiguration—”

Pop. Twenty old books now were stacked on the table. The book on top of the stack was An Introduxion to Charmes and Spelles.

“—at Hogwarts from 1905 to 1936.”

Harry glanced over at Hermione, who was avidly reading the conjured translation of Slytherin’s memoir. Once Harry had Hermione’s attention, he said to her, “Memorise the page number, then I need the book back.”

Hermione glanced at the blue-cover book she was reading, shut the book, then, instead of levitating the book over to Harry, she shoved the book so it slid cross the table.

Harry grabbed the Introduxion book, since it was the top book on the old-books stack, and laid that old book on the table. Following the Parseltext instructions in §Read This First§, Harry cast §Transfigure this book into a copy of that book§. Harry pointed his wand first at the old Introduxion book, then at the conjured translation.

Now there were two blue-cover copies of Slytherin’s memoir on the table. Harry shoved the newly transfigured blue-cover book cross the table to Hermione.

Other-Harry said, grinning, “More proof that my ‘twin’ is Muggle-raised, not wizard-raised. He passed up casting a levitation spell, in order to do muscle-work.”

Other-Hermione smacked Other-Harry’s arm.

Harry, meanwhile, replied with an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression: “When I work my muscles, I get stronger. Wizards are weak and flabby.”

Hermione, meanwhile, was putting the permanent, English-language version of Slytherin’s memoir into her purple beaded handbag.

****

Other-Harry now picked up the green-cover copy of Slytherin’s memoir, then looked at the five other magicals in Slytherin’s Library.

He said, “The part of this book that surprised me the most, back when I read it, was the Love’s Power Boost ritual. This ritual is something that turned the Founders, who started out as two witches and two wizards of ordinary magical power, into sorceresses and sorcerers whose enchantments and runes-charges have lasted a thousand years.”

Hermione said, “I’m relieved that Voldemort never knew about this ritual, on top of the other rituals he’s used.”

Other-Harry shook his head. “It wouldn’t have worked for him, even if he had known. The ritual can be performed only once in someone’s lifetime; he would have hated that. Worse for him, the people in the ritual all have to love each other—love romantically, or love as friends or love as family. Remember that Godric and Rowena eventually married, and Salazar and Helga eventually married, so there was romantic feeling there; but each Founder was friends with the two other Founders whom he or she was not married to. But Voldy loves nobody and is friends with nobody, and he killed off his family.”

Harry said to Other-Harry, “Just so I’m clear, you’re saying that the ritual, back when the Founders performed it, used all that mutual love to boost the Founders’ magical power, for each of them. On the other hand, if I did the ritual with Justin Finch-Fletchley, whom I barely know, neither of us would change at all.”

“Yes. Exactly. You understand.”

“Did you and Sirius and ‘Uncle Percival’ perform the ritual? Or did you and your Hermione?”

“No, never. By the time I read about this ritual, Riddle had been dead for years, and the few Death Eaters who were still alive, were hiding under rocks. My Emrys Scale is high enough—”

“ ‘Emrys Scale,’ what’s that?” Harry asked.

Other-Dumbledore quietly grumbled.

“—that I didn’t see any need to go through a ritual to boost my magical power even further. If word got out, I’d just seem greedy.”

Meanwhile, Harry was looking at Hermione with a raised eyebrow. She nodded.

Harry announced to the others, “You lot in the other timeline had the luxury of being at peace when you found this ritual. But in this timeline, Voldemort is out there making trouble, and I’m still prophesied to fight him to the death. My Hermione and I shall perform the ritual this book describes. I need what the ritual offers.”

****

Minutes later
In the potions lab and ritual room, just off the “snake room”

As Luna and the three other-timeline magicals watched, Harry conjured white paint, and painted a heptagram (like a pentagram, but seven-sided) on the floor. Harry sent Greyclay to bring seven white unlit candles. Harry and Hermione placed the seven candles at the corners of the heptagram, then lit the candles, starting on the north side and moving clockwise.

Harry and Hermione removed their shoes. Then, whilst being careful not to step on the white lines, they stepped inside the heptagram. Harry and Hermione stood close to each other and faced each other, whilst being careful to stay inside all the white lines.

Hermione began the ritual. She lifted her right arm and pointed her hand towards the person in front of her (Harry). Hermione recited, “I link to the person I love in front of me.”

A pink line came out of Hermione’s right hand, and hit Harry in his chest. Harry felt no pain. Instead, to Harry, the pink line entering his chest felt like his heart was being hugged.

Harry lifted his right arm and pointed his hand at Hermione in front of him. He recited, “I link to the person I love in front of me.” Seconds later, the two teenagers, each with his/her right arm horizontal, were linked by two pink lines of magic between them.

Hermione recited solemnly, “As I love Harry James Potter many times more than I love a stranger, I call upon Magic to boost both our magics by the measure of my love.”

Suddenly Harry felt like he was holding a power line—if somehow the experience did not kill him. Meanwhile, Harry saw Hermione’s hair move away from her neck, stopping at a 45-degree angle; this made her bushy hair even bushier.

Then Harry finished the second part of the ritual: “As I love Hermione Jean Granger many times more than I love a stranger, I call upon Magic to boost both our magics by the measure of my love.”

The second power jolt made Harry and Hermione both gasp.

Hermione’s hair now was sticking out from her head in every direction, in defiance of gravity. Hermione was staring at the top of Harry’s head.

The space between the teen couple now was filled with crackling pink lightning.

Hermione recited, “I thank you, Magic, for your gifts to me.”

Harry recited, “I thank you, Magic, for your gifts to me.”

The pink lines and the pink lightning disappeared, and gravity reclaimed Hermione’s hair.

The two teens stepped out of the heptagram, and put their shoes back on. Harry and Hermione nonmagically blew out the seven candles, then Harry ordered Greyclay to return the candles to Potter Manor. Harry pointed his wand at the heptagram and hissed “§Deactivate the heptagram§” to make the heptagram be magically inert; then he cast Scourgify lines to remove, both physically and magically, the painted heptagram lines from the ritual floor.

Harry and Hermione, and their audience, walked out of the ritual room into the “snake room”; Harry cast Parseltongue spells to lock, then to hide, the potion-laboratory/ritual-room door.

In the “snake room,” Harry looked at the ritual’s four witnesses. “That ritual was...”

Harry’s hand flailed about as he unsuccessfully groped for the right word.

“Indescribable,” Hermione prompted. “Life-changing. Brilliant. Wonderful. Not too shabby.”

“I think,” said Harry, “I now can magically leap tall buildings in a single bound.”

Other-Harry clapped his hands once. “Playtime’s over, ‘Clark Kent,’ now we head back into the library. You have more Parseltongue charms to discover!”

****

Back in Slytherin’s Library

Harry watched Other-Harry walk over to the green-cover version of Slytherin’s memoir on the table, pick up the book and began leafing through it. Other-Harry said to everyone, “All the time that people today have been talking about this book, Slytherin’s The Founding of Hogwarts: A Memoir, my brain has been whispering to me. It turns out that this book has things in it that Local-Harry should know, and not only the power-boost ritual.”

“What else should he know?” asked Hermione.

“The big one is the Ball of Magical Cancellation, Goldkeh. Parseltongue Goldkeh creates a black ball of magic, the target of which is chosen by the caster, and the levitation of which is controlled by the caster’s thoughts. This black ball removes all the magic from whatever it touches. A wardstone becomes a graffitied rock. A potion becomes a bad-tasting beverage. And a wizard becomes a Muggle.”

“He’s not even a Squib?” Hermione asked, looking horrified. “This Goldkeh-hit wizard is completely nonmagical for the rest of his life?”

Other-Harry shrugged. “The charm is bad news for the Parselmouth’s enemies.”

Other-Dumbledore said to Hermione, “I do not know if Goldkeh can be cast in English. I never have tried it, Sirius never has tried it, and our Miss Granger never has tried it. Right now, in this timeline in 1996, only the six of us know about Goldkeh. But imagine if Lucius Malfoy could cast this charm in English. Or Tom. Or Cornelius. If someone without restraint knew the charm, he or she would be invincible.”

Wide-eyed Hermione nodded. “I see it.”

“Which leads me to requesting something from you, Local Miss Granger, that normally you would never consider: When you have read that blue book, destroy it utterly. Or at least, tear out every page that describes one of Salazar’s spells.”

Hermione was silent for a long time. Then she pulled the book out of her purple beaded handbag, laid the blue-cover book on the table, drew her wand and vanished the book.

Looking about at everyone else, Hermione said, “I’m curious what Salazar’s memoir says, but I’m not that curious. It was okay for my ‘twin’ to read Salazar’s book, because her timeline wasn’t at war when she read the book. Not so, here.”

Other-Hermione hugged Hermione, whilst saying, “I know how hard that decision was for you. When we come near a book, we burn to know everything the book says.”

“Also,” Hermione said sombrely, “the most idiotic Purebloods believe that a Muggle-born is a Muggle-born because he or she stole a Pureblood’s magic. It would be a disaster for Muggle-born rights if anyone witnessed me, a Muggle-born, take a Pureblood Death Eater’s magic by casting Goldkeh in English. ‘Aha,’ the Purebloods would say, ‘we were right all along. Muggle-borns do steal Purebloods’ magic; Granger just did it openly.’”

After the two Hermiones broke their hug, Other-Harry said, “The other charm to note in the memoir is Kedavrub Protego. The good news is that this charm blocks the Killing Curse. Which makes Kedavrub Protego the ultimate defensive spell, right? The bad news is that this charm is ridiculously magically draining, and it makes you dizzy.”

Other-Hermione said, “The few times I’ve cast this charm, I’ve gone to complete magical exhaustion, instantly, after one blocked spell. I not only can’t cast another Kedavrub Protego afterwards, I can’t cast a regular Protego. I can’t cast any sort of offensive spell either. Until I drink a Pepper-Up Potion, I’m helpless—easy meat for even an evil second-year.”

Other-Harry said, “Uncle Percival and I, because we each are magically powerful, are a bit better off: We can cast Kedavrub Protego three times, and block three spells, before magical exhaustion takes us out of the fight.”

Other-Dumbledore said, “The problem is that if you are fighting Death Eaters, you will not have only three Killing Curses sent your way.”

Hermione said, “So it’s quite a good thing that my Harry and I performed the Love’s Power Boost ritual.”

****

After the power-boost ritual, Luna, like everyone else, had reentered Slytherin’s Library. But unlike everyone else, Luna immediately afterwards had wandered away towards the bookshelves. Soon she had returned to the big table, whilst holding a green-cover book and silently watching and listening.

Now Luna walked over and handed Harry her green-cover book. She said, “I don’t know what it says, but my Sight says you should read page 24.”

It turned out that Luna’s book had two useful charms in it, on pages 24 and 25. §Unable to Talk§ worked like the Tongue-Lock Hex, but instead of needing to be cast on one person at a time, it affected everyone in the room except the caster. The charm’s effect was for two hours. However, if before the caster cast this charm, he had cast §Shield Against Unable to Talk§ on someone, then when §Unable to Talk§ was cast within the next two hours, it would not lock the shielded person’s tongue.

“You should test that charm,” Hermione said, “so you find out how useful the charm is.”

Harry pointed his wand at Hermione, then hissed, “§Shield Against Unable to Talk§.” Then he held his wand straight up and hissed, “§Unable to Talk§.” His wand flashed mustard-yellow.

Harry said to the others, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”

Hermione said, “She sells seashells down by the seashore.”

Luna said, “Ah.” Then she sang it: “Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah,” with each Ah being a different pitch.

Other-Hermione pointed at Hermione and clearly tried to repeat She sells seashells down by the seashore. It came out “Ah, Ah, Ah-Ah, Ah-Ah-Ah, Ah-Ah.”

Then Other-Hermione drew her wand and pointed it at Other-Harry. With determination she yelled “AH-AH, AH-AH!” whilst making the wand-movement for Acer Dorsus, the Stinging Hex. No spell was cast.

Percival Dumbledore smiled a grandfatherly smile and spoke nothing. He then silently cast a Lumos charm, which he extinguished (just as silently) a few seconds later.

Other-Harry, with overacting to make opera singers sneer, Ah-Ah’d to “Rule Britannia.”

Then grinning Other-Harry pointed his wand at Harry and hissed something. What Harry heard was “§Ah Ah-Ah Ah Ah, Ah Ah§.” No spell was cast.

Harry pointed his wand at the ceiling and hissed, “§Again Able to Talk§.” After everyone confirmed they could speak normally, Other-Harry said, “Luna, I’m glad you found those three unable-to-talk charms.”

Other-Dumbledore warned Harry, “You told us that this Voldemort now has a snake-familiar that is a living horcrux. Remember in your planning that your Parseltongue wide-area tongue-lock charm might not affect the snake at all.”

****

Other-Harry used the Parseltongue search-and-summon charm three more times, bringing three more green-cover books to the big table. From these three books, Other-Harry taught Harry three more Parseltongue charms.

Other-Harry said, “The first charm I want to teach you now is §Vibration§.”

Now Other-Harry was smirking: “Cast §Vibration§ on a witch’s wand with Frequency set over 10 Hertz and with Power set low, and her wand becomes that witch’s new best friend—or so I figure.”

Other-Hermione gasped, and backhanded Other-Harry’s stomach.

Harry said, “Seems to me that if her boyfriend is doing his job right, no witch would be interested in a vibrating wand.” Harry gave Other-Harry a meaningful look. This wiped the smirk off Other-Harry’s face.

Other-Harry resumed his lecture: “Now if you cast §Vibration§ at the ground, with Frequency set to 1.0 Hertz or less and Power set high, you create a localised earthquake. Do it right, and nobody nearby can stay on their feet. Neither can you stay upright—unless you’re not on your feet at all, but instead are riding a broom. After you knock everybody down, you have about two seconds before your enemies, who still are on the ground, start counterattacking. Plan accordingly.”

Harry nodded.

Now Other-Harry opened the second green-cover book and flipped pages. “§Point to Hidden Object§ acts like a Point-Me charm, except that if works even when the object is inside a Fidelius.”

Other-Harry then demonstrated the charm: “§Point to Hidden Object kitchen sink inside Black Manor§.” Other-Harry’s wand spun till it was pointing generally south.

Then Other-Harry opened the third book to a specific page.

Other-Harry said to Harry, “In your timeline, Voldy is living at Malfoy Manor. Because I am Lord Malfoy by Right of Conquest in my timeline, I know this Malfoy Manor’s Apparation Coordinates, even though they’re hidden from you lot under a Fidelius. But because I’m not Lord Malfoy here, and I’m not keyed into the Malfoy Manor wards here, if I told you Malfoy Manor’s Apparation Coordinates and we all went there, we’d all die. Nastily and painfully. So Local-Harry, you need some bit of magic so that Malfoy Manor’s nasty wards ignore you and your friends.

“Voilà. Presenting the ‘Not sensed within all the world’ charm, §Non sentitur in omni mundo§. This charm makes the magicals you cast it on, invisible to people and invisible to wards, whilst looking like transparent green ghosts to each other. They cannot be seen, heard, smelled or felt by everyone who is not included in the charm; and a mirror does not reflect their images. However, whilst a not-sensed magical person cannot be felt when he touches someone, he remains solid; he cannot walk through walls.

“To turn off the green-ghost effect and to become visible again, cast §Sentiri§, which means ‘be sensed.’ ”

****

The rest of Monday

The three Summoned magicals, plus three of the Ministry Six (Harry, Hermione and Luna) spent the rest of the day in Number Twelve’s duelling room. Except that duelling was too refined a word for what they were practising; they were practising battle tactics.

Harry and Other-Harry spent their time becoming familiar with the new Parseltongue spells that Harry had discovered in Slytherin’s Library. (Other-Harry had discovered most of these same spells years earlier, in the Slytherin’s Library of his timeline, but Other-Harry had never cast these spells in a life-or-death situation before now.)

The four others in the group—Other-Dumbledore, both Hermiones and Luna—practised combat spells and spell-chains, for when the group attacked Voldemort. (The date of the attack was not yet set. Nor were details of the attack plan set, beyond the plan that Voldemort’s big snake, rat-animagus traitor Peter Pettigrew and Antonin Dolohov each would be given special attention.)

It was a no-brainer that when Surprise Tommy Day came, Other-Dumbledore, Other-Harry, power-boosted Local-Harry and power-boosted Local-Hermione would be in the attack force. Also joining the attack: Luna. Other-Hermione insisted on joining the five others in the attack on Voldemort and on Voldy’s Death Eaters, but Harry was convinced this would be a disaster in the making.

Other-Hermione, before the day she had been dragged to this timeline, never had cast any sort of combat spell, and indeed never had needed to cast any sort of combat spell.

She had not been forced to defend against any spell-attacks in the Hogwarts corridors, because Purebloods at alternate-timeline Hogwarts knew that Headmaster Percival Dumbledore punished bullying harshly.

The closest Other-Hermione ever had come to casting combat spells: casting spells for DADA class and for the Practical part of her Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL.

Other-Hermione was so sheltered, she knew what a mountain troll looked like only because the three sorts of trolls had been pictured in her third-year DADA textbook.

So why not do the smart thing and leave Other-Hermione behind, when her boyfriend and her headmaster went off to war? Wavy-haired Hermione’s attitude was If Local-Hermione shall fight next to Local-Harry, then I shall fight next to you, Harry. Deal with it, accept it, move on. When this argument did not sway Other-Harry, Other-Hermione argued, “Of the three of us who were dragged to Albus Dumbledore’s world, I am the most vicious.”

Harry laughed, kissed his bushy-haired Hermione on the cheek and said to Other-Hermione, “You, vicious? I can easily believe it. Sometime, ask this girl what she did to Snape in first year, to Draco in third year and to Marietta Edgecombe this year.”

As Hermione huffed, Other-Hermione shot Other-Harry a look that said You see? Local-Harry agrees with me!

Harry agreed with the Summoned witch about this one tiny point, but was not convinced overall. Bloody hell, if his Hermione had not gone through the power-boost ritual with him, no way on earth would Harry let Hermione go to even the same county/shire as Voldemort and Dolohov!

As for Luna, she had been the only Hogwarts student in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries to emerge uninjured. Hopefully, Luna could continue her winning streak.

Chapter Text

Morning, the next day (Tuesday, 30 June)
In the kitchen of Number 12, Grimmauld Place

Present at the table were Harry and Harry’s other-timeline twin, Other-Dumbledore, both Hermiones and Luna.

Harry heard Hermione ask Other-Dumbledore, “The Summoning ritual that was used on you lot, could our headmaster have used a Dark ritual? Meaning that return to your timeline was impossible after we performed the ritual, and the headmaster knew this when he performed the ritual? This also would mean he lied to you lot when he said, ‘Kill Voldemort, and I shall send you home,’ because he knew that what he was promising was impossible.”

Harry explained to the others, “Hermione believes in respecting people in authority”—Other-Hermione nodded agreement—“and it bothers her a lot when the authority figures are not worthy of respect. Albus Dumbledore certainly doesn’t deserve Hermione’s respect.”

Other-Hermione said, “Fortunately for me, Percival Dumbledore does deserve respect.”

Hermione smiled at Harry for supporting her, then looked expectantly at Other-Dumbledore.

Other-Dumbledore said, “Albus prizes his good reputation above everything. In your group that summoned us, I saw Severus Snape, Filius Flitwick and several Aurors. It would be disastrous for Albus’s reputation if any of those ritual-knowledgeable people spread the word, ‘I saw Albus Dumbledore perform a Dark ritual.’ So no, I do not think the ritual was Dark. But I could be sure of my answer if I knew what the ritual words were. Dark rituals’ incantations are in Latin, Ancient Egyptian, Aztec or Hawaiian.”

Hermione said, “Wait, they’re teaching Dark spells at Hogwarts? Many of the spells we’re taught are in Latin or in pseudo-Latin.”

Other-Dumbledore replied, “Light spells can be in Latin—just as they can be in French, German, Russian or English. But Dark spells do not work if they are in French, German, Russian or your native language. I do not know why.”

Hermione nodded her I’m filing this away for future use nod, then said, “Returning to the earlier topic, I wrote down the words to the headmaster’s ritual. They sounded like gibberish, like no language I’ve ever heard before, so I had to write down the words phonetically.”

Other-Hermione said, “I’ve an eidetic memory too, but I’ve never tried to perfectly recall a long string of words when I could understand none of them.”

Hermione smiled at her wavy-haired twin.

Then Hermione grabbed her purple beaded handbag, which was under her chair, and from the handbag, she pulled out a parchment. She began reading: “Sarkinn eefret timpo strag, will-chinna torrak vavesian kixa.”

Hermione passed the parchment over the table to Other-Dumbledore, saying, “I hope this text isn’t Ancient Egyptian.”

Other-Dumbledore said, “Be reassured, because the words are in McNulty, which is a magical language that was invented by Callimachus McNulty. Alas, I see many misspellings here.”

“Eep!” Hermione squeaked. “I misspelled words?”

Other-Hermione asked, “Why would McNulty make up a language, when we have Esperanto, which is a made-up language with regular conjugations?”

None of the magically raised knew what Esperanto was; both Hermiones were obliged to explain it.

Other-Dumbledore answered Other-Hermione’s question: “Whenever a wizard casts a spell in a language that is not the wizard’s childhood language, some of the power of the spell comes from ambient magic, besides the spell’s magic that comes from the wizard’s magical core. This makes the spell more powerful, at no extra cost to the wizard. Do not ask me why this is; it simply is true, and recorded in ancient texts. By the by, this is why many spells taught at Hogwarts are in Latin—because nobody at Hogwarts is a native speaker of Latin. Anyway, Callimachus McNulty figured out that if he invented a language that no magical person on Earth grew up speaking, every spell that anyone cast in this language would have more power. Apparently Wizard McNulty was talented at learning existing languages, so he succeeded at inventing a group of grammar rules and words that together became a language.”

Then Other-Dumbledore said to Hermione, “Local Miss Granger, please place your wand on the table; then please read your phonetically-spelled McNulty-language ritual aloud, pausing for ten seconds at the end of every clause or sentence.”

Hermione read aloud the ritual as requested. Other-Dumbledore’s eyes were closed as he listened.

Then Other-Dumbledore asked Hermione to read the McNulty ritual again, this time without pausing.

She did this.

Other-Dumbledore said, “The ritual talks about marking timelines. The timeline where my ‘nephew’ was living was marked, as were the timelines of many other Harrys. It would be a small extra step in the ritual’s wording to include an order, ‘Write down the address where the best-qualified Harry Potter came from,’ but Albus’s ritual did not say this explicitly—”

Other-Harry and Other-Hermione groaned.

“—but this is a Light ritual, meaning ultimately it is harmless, so the ability to return the Summoned Harry to the timeline from whence he came, is implicit, I believe.”

Other-Harry said, “It would have been nice if Albus Dumbledore had made everything we needed to know so we could go back, explicit. Maybe a detailed parchment appearing in the heptagon when we appeared there—would this have been too much to ask?”

Harry said “Pfft. Albus wouldn’t have been able to keep you on the hook and been able to play you if that had happened. I’m sure Albus chose the ritual that pulled you here in such a way that only he would know how to send you back. Not Hermione, not Professor McGonagall or Professor Flitwick, only Albus Dumbledore, Leader of the Light, could send you back.”

Other-Dumbledore said, “Let us not give up too soon. We know the words of the ritual he used and we know that it is a Light ritual, so harmless, so there must be somehow a way to send us back. Whilst the ritual was in progress, it marked where exactly at Platform 9¾ Harry was, latitude-longitude-altitude-timeline, so I am confident that this mark still exists.”

Harry thought that Other-Dumbledore was “confident” when he had no reason to be, just like Albus Dumbledore always had been confident about Snape. But Harry did not speak this doubt aloud.

Meanwhile, Other-Hermione was asking Other-Dumbledore, “Could the ritual have left a beacon at our timeline’s Platform 9¾, a beacon that would tell this timeline’s send-us-back ritual, ‘Send Harry here, send Harry here’?”

“Perhaps. But if so, the beacon would have access to only the magic that last Friday’s ritual gave it. Eventually the beacon would run out of magic. For the beacon to run forever, it would need to connect to our timeline’s everywhere-magic, and this would happen only if the words of last Friday’s Summoning ritual commanded it, and those words did not.”

Hermione said, “Professor Dumbledore, it sounds to me like you’re saying that once the beacon—if a beacon is what the Summoning ritual created, to mark the place to which Summoned Harry would return—once that beacon used up all its magic, no ritual performed in this timeline could find that timeline. There would be no way to send you three to that timeline—you would be stuck here forever.”

Other-Harry said, “I think if this world’s Dumbledore told me, ‘Harry, I could have sent you back to your timeline if you had killed Voldemort sooner, but so sorry, the beacon is dead, now you are stuck here’—I think I’d kill him.”

Other-Hermione blurted, “Harry?”

Other-Harry glared at imaginary Albus Dumbledore. “I’ve never killed anyone except Voldemort and Death Eaters. Neither have I planned to kill anyone except them, though Draco and McLaggen are a bloody nuisance. However, if Albus Dumbledore, after dragging the three of us to this timeline without our consents, later on told me I were forever separated from my Sirius and Remus and our timeline’s Luna and Neville, and it all supposedly was my fault for quote-unquote ‘dawdling’ at killing this timeline’s Voldemort; and if furthermore I were dependent on Albus Dumbledore’s generosity for the rest of my life whilst I were stuck in this timeline, then the blighter would die by my hand. I would kill him, and it would be painful. If afterwards I got the Kiss or the Veil for torturing and killing Albus? Oh well, such is life.”

Other-Dumbledore patted Other-Harry on the shoulder, then said, “Let us return to a happier topic: How we might get the information to return us home.

“To recap: my ‘twin’ Albus, for the sake of argument, might have intended for the summoned Harry Potter to be unable to return, which would leave the summoned Harry Potter stranded here for the rest of his life. However, I do not think that Magic would have let a McNulty-language ritual turn Dark enough to kidnap someone with no possibility of returning him.

“The second possibility is that the ritual would have created a magical document that would appear when and where we were summoned, a document that would tell the people of this timeline how to send us home. But whilst this is possible in theory, no such document has been created.

“The third possibility: The ritual has set up a beacon at Platform 9¾ in our timeline, for a Sending ritual to home in on. If so, the problem is that sooner or later the beacon will lose its magic.

“The fourth possibility is that the ritual marked the three of us with information how to send us home. But I had no tattoos before I came here, and I have noticed I have no tattoos now. Harry, our Miss Granger, how about you?”

Other-Hermione shook her head.

Other-Harry said, “No, Uncle Percival. No tattoos have shown up, I’ve found no writing on my skin, and I have nothing ‘marking’ me since last Friday.”

Other-Harry and Other-Hermione were beginning to look sad and worried when Harry heard Luna say, “Other Hermione Granger, remember Paracelsus’s Mystery.”

****

Harry looked at Hermione. He said, “I don’t know what ‘Paracelsus’s Mystery’ is.”

Hermione shook her head. “I don’t either. Clearly my twin has been reading different books than I have.”

Hermione, Other-Dumbledore and both Harrys looked expectantly at Other-Hermione, whilst Luna smiled dreamily.

Other-Hermione stood up, looked at her “twin” and said, “I’ve been reading books about Healing since first year—”

Hermione sighed. “Must be nice. Every time I’ve tried to research something for fun, I’ve wound up dropping my fun research in order to research how to save Harry from his current dangerous crisis.”

Other-Hermione gave Hermione a quick hug, then said, “Since I am the only person here who understands what the term Paracelsus’s Mystery means, let me explain it to all of you. Local-Hermione, would you please stand up and agree to be my demonstration dummy?”

Hermione, as she stood up, replied, “No problem. But let the record show that I am otherwise no dummy.”

Harry grinned at her. “Two words: Gilderoy Lockhart.”

Standing Hermione now shrieked, whilst smacking Harry’s arm three times. “Prat!”

Other-Hermione asked, “Who’s Gilderoy Lockhart?”

Hermione, her face now scarlet, said, “Never mind! Just go on with your demonstration.”

Other-Hermione looked at Other-Harry, shrugged, then her voice shifted into lecture mode: “If you are a magical or a Squib, you have a magical core that coexists with the organs of your chest cavity, but your magical core is in a different phase of reality from the organs of your chest cavity. This means, for one thing, that if a magically powerful child gets his core bound, this does not bind his internal organs—he can breathe freely. The other thing to know is that in the magical core’s phase of reality, the ribcage has a space-expansion charm on it to hold the magical core. A book I once read theorised that the inside of Merlin’s ribcage had the volume of a bathtub.”

Whoa, Wow and Blimey, people said.

Other-Hermione continued, “At the anterior—at the front of the magical core is the asterisk, which is composed of six pipes. The origin of the asterisk, which is where the six pipes connect together, is just behind the breastbone, and coexists with most of the heart. Two of the pipes go up and sideways, into the shoulders, arms, hands and fingers. Two of the pipes go down and sideways, into the hips, legs, feet and toes. One pipe goes down into the genitals; one pipe goes up to the mouth and brain. On the back side of the asterisk, facing most of the person’s magical core, is a wide-mouth hole. In your physical body, blood is being circulated every moment, but magic travels through one of your pipes only when you want some part of your body to do magic. Any questions?”

Nobody had questions.

Other-Hermione continued, in the twin of Hermione’s lecture-voice, “Paracelsus invented the Diagnosis Charm.” Other-Hermione gave the word a classical-Greek pronunciation, not the usual English pronunciation. “When the Diagnosis Charm is cast on a bone, tissue or organ, or on a patient’s magical core, the charm creates floating numbers that tell a Healer the current status of that bone, tissue, organ or core. For instance...”

By now Other-Hermione was standing in front of Hermione. Other-Hermione now stepped a quarter-step to the right, pointed her wand at Hermione’s chest and cast Diagnosis.

Beside Other-Hermione’s wand-hand, nine white-glowing numbers appeared in midair.

Other-Hermione explained, “I just cast the charm on Local-Hermione’s heart. Whenever Diagnosis is cast on a heart, nine numbers appear. The first number of the nine is the heart rate in beats per minute. The trick here is knowing that all the numbers that Diagnosis generates are in Base 13, not in Base 10, just like Apparation Coordinates are in Base 13. So a heartbeat of seventy beats per minute will not show up as seven-zero, it will show up as five-five. Speaking of Base 13, notice that the fourth of the nine floating numbers is 4B0. In Base 10, this converts to,” a pause, “819. Any questions?”

Harry said, “I’m impressed that you can do conversions from Base 13 in your head.”

Other-Hermione gave Harry a polite smile, then turned back to facing Hermione.

Other-Hermione took a quarter-step to the left, which put her back to standing directly in front of Hermione. Whilst Other-Hermione stood in that place, she cast Diagnosis on Hermione’s sternum (breastbone). This resulted in only three white-glowing numbers, not nine.

Other-Hermione commented, “The first number represents bone density—the higher the better.

“The second number represents fractures, both current and past. Reported as part of the second number is information about magically-healed fractures—both internal healing by the patient’s own magic, and external magical healing by the Bone-Healing Charm or by Skele-Gro. If I’m interpreting this right, my twin never has fractured her sternum.”

Hermione nodded. “Correct.”

“The third number relates to the breastbone’s marrow producing blood, and whether there is a problem there. So, three numbers to diagnose Local-Hermione’s breastbone—once you think about it, it makes sense that it takes three diagnostic numbers to medically describe a patient’s breastbone.”

Other-Hermione took a big step to the left, then a step forwards, so that now she was standing beside Hermione but was facing backwards.

Other-Hermione said, “Having cast Diagnosis on the front-facing part of Local-Hermione’s breastbone, I shall now cast Diagnosis on the rear-facing part of Local-Hermione’s breastbone. I know what you’re thinking, ‘Front of the breastbone, rear of the breastbone, what difference does it make?’ But watch now, and what amazed Paracelsus the first time he saw it, will amaze you.”

Other-Hermione then aimed her wand sideways, at the front top part of Hermione’s ribcage. “Diagnosis.”

The result was, floating in the air, many, many white-glowing oval rings, in nine rows.

Other-Hermione explained, “What you’re seeing are eighty-three zeroes. If this result were the result of a Muggle medical diagnostic tool, I would immediately suspect a disconnected cable somewhere. But anytime any healer has run Diagnosis on the posterior side of the sternum, the result has been eighty-three zeroes. Why so many numbers, and why are they always zero? All this is Paracelsus’s Mystery.”

Then Other-Hermione stepped forwards again, stepped to the right, and turned half a circle, so that she was behind Hermione and facing Hermione. Other-Hermione pointed her wand at the upper part of Hermione’s back.

The wavy-haired Hermione explained to her audience, “What I’m about to do, only works if you overpower the Diagnosis Charm a bit, and if you intend for the bespelled organ, bone or magical core to be the posterior side of the sternum.” Then Other-Hermione cast Diagnosis through Hermione’s back.

Again, the result was eight rows of ten white-glowing zeroes floating in the air, and a ninth row of three zeroes.

Other-Hermione said to Hermione, “Thank you, Local-Hermione, you may return to your seat.”

Other-Hermione, by walking round the kitchen table and standing behind people, cast Diagnosis on the inner side of Harry’s breastbone, and Luna’s. Just as with Local-Hermione, Harry’s result and Luna’s result was a set of eighty-three white-glowing zeroes floating in the air.

Other-Hermione commented, “Just in this room, right now, three different patients, of both genders and with different details of their health, yield the same mad result when I cast Diagnosis on their respective breastbone’s inner side. Every patient ever checked in this way, going back centuries, yields eighty-three zeroes.”

Harry asked Other-Hermione, “So the magical inside of your breastbone is like your appendix or your wisdom teeth? It’s part of your body, but it’s unneeded?”

“Exactly,” Other-Hermione said.

Then Other-Hermione took a deep, slow breath. “I deliberately have held off checking Percival Dumbledore and my timeline’s Harry Potter. If not for Local-Luna’s suggestion, I would be sure that I had no need for such checks. What I expect to happen: two more examples of eighty-three zeroes.”

Other-Hermione stepped behind Other-Dumbledore, who still was sitting in his chair at the kitchen table. Other-Hermione pointed her wand at Other-Dumbledore’s upper back. “Diagnosis.”

The result was eighty-three white-glowing numbers—none of which were zero.

****

“Holy shit,” Other-Harry said.

Other-Hermione did not rebuke her boyfriend for his words.

Hermione commented, “I see that, just as she said, the numbers are in Base 13, not Base 10. The first number has four places, within the number, where I see two consecutive zero-digits—this must mean something. Let me write these numbers down—this is historic.”

Other-Hermione waited patiently whilst Local-Hermione wrote down the eighty-three numbers. This took a while, because some of the numbers were many digits long.

After writing-Hermione gave her “twin” a nod, Other-Hermione cast Diagnosis on Other-Harry’s breastbone’s inner side. Just as with Other-Dumbledore, the result was eighty-three numbers, none of them zero, in Base 13.

According to Hermione, who compared her written-down numbers to the floating numbers, Other-Harry’s eighty-three numbers were the same as Other-Dumbledore’s eighty-three numbers.

Harry cast the Diagnosis Charm, or he tried to, on the back side of Other-Hermione’s breastbone, after she coached him how. On the third try, Harry got the spell to work. Eighty-three nonzero, glowing numbers appeared.

Hermione, after consulting her parchment, said, “My twin’s numbers are the same as the others.”

Nobody spoke for a full minute. Everyone looked gobsmacked.

****

Later, after breakfast

House Black house-elves Shiny and Lassie elf-popped the six magicals to the Hogwarts seventh-floor corridor that featured the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach eight trolls to dance.

A minute later, the group of six was in the Room of Requirement. The six had configured the Room to contain books that talked about Paracelsus’s Mystery.

This seemed at first be a waste of time. The first forty-four books they looked through, took for granted that Diagnosis, when cast on a sternum’s posterior side, always would result in eighty-three zeroes. The six researchers could find no discussion in those forty-four books about when the eighty-three numbers were not zero, and what this would mean.

But the forty-fifth book? It detailed a ritual, Boot’s Ritual To Send To A Separate Timeline, to send someone to a particular time and place in another timeline. Paydirt! Boot’s write-up about the ritual mentioned that before the ritual was begun, eighty-three numbers in Base 13 had to be chalked on the floor.

Where would those eighty-three numbers come from? When the ritualists were sending someone who was a native of their timeline to a different timeline, then the eighty-three numbers that were to be used in the ritual “must be composed with the greatest of care.”

On the other hand, if the ritualists wished to send a traveller from another timeline back to his home timeline, then the inter-timeline traveller already had those eighty-three necessary numbers written on his sternum. This was because the ritual that earlier had brought the timeline-traveler here, Boot’s Ritual of Summoning From A Separate Timeline, had replaced the eighty-three zeroes in Paracelsus’s Mystery with the eighty-three numbers that were needed to send the traveller home.

Now Percival Dumbledore called out, “Room of Requirement, I wish to read books about Boot’s Ritual of Summoning From A Separate Timeline.”

Two books appeared on the Room of Requirement table in front of the blue-eyed old man; each book was open to two facing pages.

Seconds later, Percival Dumbledore laughed in delight. “Found it! This is the ritual that summoned us—“

“You’re sure?” interrupted Other-Hermione.

“—and its spoken words for the ritual are in McNulty, which forces the ritual to be Light. Since the ritual words do not enable a return trip overtly, the Lightness of the ritual makes such a thing happen implicitly.”

Other-Harry and Other-Hermione looked relieved.

Other-Dumbledore continued, “Hence the unspoken, unrequested rewriting of the eighty-three zeroes in Paracelsus’s Mystery, so that those numbers later can be used in the later ritual, Boot’s Ritual To Send To A Separate Timeline. Rewriting those zeroes is a clever trick, so that the second we three arrived, our bodies came with the instructions how to send us home. How did Boot get the idea to use the eighty-three zeroes? The way Botolf Boot explains it here is ‘The eighty-three zeroes of Paracelsus’s Mystery are like a field that has lain fallow for over two centuries. I decided to build a ritual room on that unused field.’ ”

Other-Hermione called out, “Room of Requirement, I wish to read books about Boot’s Ritual To Send To A Separate Timeline.”

One book appeared on the table in front of Other-Hermione, open in the right place.

Percival Dumbledore, after reading over Other-Hermione’s shoulder, said, “I do believe this is the ritual we need. We do not need Albus with his secret knowledge, in order to perform the ritual that shall send us home—any Local magical, or group of magicals, with enough magical power can send us home.”

Other-Dumbledore looked meaningfully at Harry and at Hermione.

“Secure from Red Alert,” Other-Hermione said with feeling.

****

Other-Harry asked, “How exactly do the eighty-three numbers send us home by Boot’s Ritual?”

Hermione walked over to the book and was about to pick it up, till Other-Hermione huffed and gave serious side-eye to her “twin.” So Hermione settled for reading over the shoulder of her “twin.”

Other-Hermione answered, “The first number represents the date and time we’ll be sent to. The syntax: elapsed whole days beginning 1 January 1800 in Base 13, then two zeroes as spacers, then elapsed whole hours since midnight, again Base 13, then two more zeroes, then elapsed whole minutes since the beginning of the hour in Base 13, again two zeroes, elapsed whole seconds since the beginning of the minute in Base 13, two zeroes, then in Base 13, the number of tiny-seconds since the beginning of the second. A tiny is the number one-thirteenth, taken to the fourth power. There are 28 561 tiny-seconds in one second; there are 28 561 tiny-inches in one inch.”

Hermione now summoned from where it lay on the table, the parchment on which she had written Other-Dumbledore’s eighty-three inside-sternum numbers. Hermione announced, “In the first number, the whole number of days, beginning on 1 January 1800, is 26884 in Base 13. I can’t begin to guess what that number works out to be in Base 10. The Hours part is 16 in Base 13, which works out to be 19 in Base 10, or 7pm. The Minutes part is 23 in Base 13, which is 29 in Base 10. Presuming that the Days part computes to be 26 June 1996, then the Date and Time compute to be 26 June 1996, 7.29pm.”

Other Harry said, “Which was a minute or less after we stepped off the Hogwarts Express at King’s Cross—that’s when we got kidnapped to here.”

Other-Hermione said, “Skipping to the end of the eighty-three numbers, the eighty-first number contains the Heading to get the Sent people to the place where they’re supposed to end up. Since King’s Cross is more-or-less south of the Hogwarts Great Hall where the ritual would be performed, that heading would be about 180 in Base 10, but the actual number is in Base 13. The syntax: the eighty-first number starts with the degrees of the heading in Base 13, two zeroes, minutes of the heading in Base 13, two zeroes, seconds of the heading in Base 13, two zeroes, then the number in Base 13 of tiny-seconds.”

Hermione said, “There is exactly one Great Circle that passes through both the ritual circle in the Great Hall and King’s Cross in London. The Heading-number that the eighty-first number specifies is the heading of that unique Great Circle where that Great Circle passes through the ritual circle.

“Definition: A Great Circle is a circle of the surface of the Earth, such that the centre of the circle is the centre of the Earth. The Equator is a Great Circle. If you’re walking along a Great Circle, the curvature is so slight that to you, it seems like you’re walking along a horizontal straight line, as far as you can see.”

Other-Hermione took over the lecture: “The eighty-second number is the Distance, travelling along the specified Heading on a Great Circle, to get from the ritual circle to the intended arrival point for the ritual’s sent people. This Distance is specified in Base-13 miles, two zeroes, Base-13 feet, two zeroes, Base-13 inches, two zeroes, then the count in Base 13 of tiny-inches.”

Hermione took back the lecture: “The eighty-third number represents the change in Height. A zero at the beginning of the number means that Height is negative—the sent people go down; otherwise Height is positive—the sent people go up. After the leading zero, if it appears, the syntax is feet in Base 13, two zeroes, inches in Base 13, two zeroes, then the count in Base 13 of tiny-inches.”

Other-Hermione said, “Numbers 2 through 80 direct the magic how to move the sent people from this timeline to the desired timeline. Basically, the three of us will be sent back in time to sometime in early November 1981, which is when our timeline first changed from this timeline. More specifically, we’ll be sent back in time to a tiny-second in November 1981 in which the timeline forks, we’ll jump from the fork that we had travelled downbranch on, to a specified different fork, then we’ll travel upbranch, navigating forks in the timeline along the way, till we get to 26 June 1996 in our home timeline. When I talk about forks whilst traveling upbranch, I mean many forks. Anytime any of us three did something meaningful between 1981 and 1996, it created a new timeline; anytime someone else did something meaningful between 1981 and 1996 that affected any of us three, it created a new timeline. What this means is that as we travel upbranch from November 1981, we’ll hit many, many forks in the timeline, and the ritualists need to know which fork to take. Fortunately, our altered sternum-numbers tell them.”

Hermione said, “It takes seventy-nine altered sternum-numbers to describe how the sent people should traverse the timelines, but the number of forks the ritual will come across, probably is many more than seventy-nine.”

****

There was a moment of silence amongst the five teenage magicals and the magical old man. Then Percival Dumbledore said, “Now that we three know we can laugh at Albus Dumbledore if he says ‘Do what I say or I shall not send you home,’ shall we return to yesterday’s activities of practising Slytherin’s Library attack spells to use against Tom and his ilk?”

****

During the next eleven days, the group planned and practiced for their surprise attack on Voldemort. During this time, Harry made a happy discovery—

The Parseltongue ‘Not sensed within all the world’ charm, §Non sentitur in omni mundo§, made a person (or a group of people) undetectable to nonmagical people, to magical people, to magical creatures, and to wards; whilst the bespelled people looked like transparent green ghosts to each other.

To turn the six people in Grimmauld Place into green ghosts, Harry had to cast §Non sentitur in omni mundo§ on each other person, one at a time, then Harry had to cast the charm a sixth time whilst pointing his wand at himself. Alas, Harry found no way to mass-ghostify all six at once.

§Sentiri§ was the counterspell to §Non sentitur in omni mundo§. Harry discovered on accident that if his wand was not pointing at himself or at any other green-ghost person when he cast §Sentiri§, he de-ghostified everyone at once.

This one discovery by Harry made the group’s chances of victory against Voldemort and the Death Eaters, and the group’s chances of survival, become a hundred times greater.

****

Next chapter: “Dancing” in the Malfoy Manor Ballroom

Chapter Text

Saturday, 11 July
Morning, soon after breakfast
In Voldemort’s throne room
(Formerly the ballroom of Malfoy Manor)

Lord Voldemort was speaking to fifty Death Eaters and was whipping them up to attack Amelia Bones and her niece, and to kill both Boneses. Voldy’s method of motivation was to hit Death Eater A or Death Eater B with the Cruciatus Curse because of alleged infractions.

The Death Eaters watched, listened and said nothing, except to answer the Dark Lord’s questions. Nobody complained about the Cruciatus Curses—five curses and counting, so far this morning. Certainly the rat-faced man with the silver hand did not complain after his one session of “discipline.”

Also in the throne room, and near Voldemort’s throne: his giant snake, Nagini. It was impossible for any onlooker to tell whether she was keenly interested in what Voldemort was saying or was thoroughly bored; but one thing the snake absolutely was not, was asleep. So if Voldemort pointed to a Death Eater and told Nagini, “Bite him,” then the odds were 100 percent that the pointed-to Death Eater would be bitten. Which meant that less than a minute later, the pointed-to Death Eater would be dead (and soon would be swallowed whole).

Near the throne, but not near the oversized snake, stood Antonin Dolohov. So far this morning, Dolohov had not been Crucioed.

Unbeknownst to Voldemort, six more magicals stood in the ballroom. Voldemort could not see them or hear them, nor could any Death Eater see them or hear them. Nagini could not see, hear or smell them. To the six magicals themselves, they looked like transparent green ghosts.

The six green-ghost intruders in the throne room were Harry and Other-Harry, Hermione and Other-Hermione, Luna and Other-Dumbledore.

The six were not ghosts completely; Harry’s Six could not walk through walls, and they could pull or push people or other solid objects, whilst remaining invisible. They remained so much invisible that Harry’s Six could Apparate through wards without being sensed by those wards.

Harry’s Six had done their green-ghost Apparation into the ballroom (throne room) whilst Voldemort and his Death Eaters had been eating breakfast in the Malfoy Manor formal dining room; so whatever sounds that Harry’s Six might have made upon their arrival in the ballroom, nobody else had been there to hear. Later, when Death Eaters had entered the ballroom, the Six had been solid but invisible whilst standing in the ballroom, so Harry’s Six had stepped aside whenever it seemed likely a Death Eater unknowingly was about to walk into one of them.

****

Now as Voldemort ranted, Harry and his other five all stood at different places in the throne room. Green-ghost Hermione and green-ghost Other-Hermione, for example, were standing only a few feet away from Nagini, who showed no awareness of the two Muggle-born witches nearby.

At the moment, green-ghost Harry and his five green-ghost companions were acting like goody-two-shoes, not causing trouble for the bad guys—

Correction: not causing much trouble. Harry nodded at Other-Harry, who had been chosen for a task because Other-Harry not only had been able to illegally Apparate since eight years old, but now Other-Harry could Apparate silently. Now green-ghost Other-Harry Apparated away, without making a sound to alert the Dark wizards. As part of the plan, Other-Harry would Apparate to Grimmauld Place and to a Malfoy Manor first-floor corridor, before returning to the ballroom.

About half a minute after green-ghost Other-Harry silently had left, he silently returned. Other-Harry gave Harry two transparent-green thumbs up.

Now Harry and the other five green ghosts waited for Dobby to start the show. They did not wait long.

****

Voldemort was ranting—ranting about mudbloods, about “blood-traitors” (Purebloods who did not treat mudbloods as despicable) and about Neutrals (who were too timid to fight for blood purity, though they benefitted from it).

It was a rant that Voldemort made often, but none of the Death Eaters complained. Indeed, some of them—Antonin Dolohov, for instance—were smiling as though they agreed with every word.

No Death Eater interrupted Voldemort’s rant—but a flat, rectangular object interrupted him, when it fluttered down from the ballroom’s ceiling. The paper—not parchment—came seemingly from nowhere.

The Death Eater who brought the fallen paper to Voldemort looked frightened. Probably because the Dark Marked wizard was handing Voldemort something Muggleish.

The rectangular paper, which was Muggle even when blank, turned out to be even more Muggle, because the paper bore words that were written with a ballpoint pen—

Snape has returned. He is on the first floor of the manor house, in the corridor outside the golden door.

Since his Dark Mark was removed on 27 June, he cannot Apparate to where Voldemort is. Furthermore, Snape is unable to walk. This means one of you shall need to bring Snape to Voldemort if Voldemort wants to talk to him; or Voldemort shall need to go to where Snape is.

Harry James Potter, no longer a statue

The paper had a letterhead: the top of the paper said “Wool’s Orphanage” in big typeset letters. Potter was being insulting now.

****

Voldemort read the note aloud—not mentioning the infuriating Wool’s Orphanage letterhead. Then Voldemort demanded, “Lucius, how could an injured wizard enter your house without triggering your wards?”

The frightened blond ponce replied, “I do not know, My Lord, nor can I guess.”

Voldemort believed him; nonetheless, errors and mistakes should never go unpunished. “Crucio!” Voldemort incanted.

Voldemort was merciful: he cast the Cruciatus Curse on Lucius for only five seconds.

Then Voldemort commanded, “Wormtail, go to Snape and bring him here. Whatever is wrong with him so that he cannot walk, do not add to his injuries, or I shall add to yours.”

“As you command, My Lord,” Pettigrew replied, bowing, then he ran from the throne room.

Pettigrew was back in the throne room ten minutes later. He was red-faced, sweaty, and panicked. “My Lord, Snape is dead, and he’s bleeding on the corridor carpet. He also is sticking-charmed to the carpet, but Finite Incantatem doesn’t work, so I can’t move him. A note is sticking-charmed to his body, but Finite Incantatem doesn’t unstick it either, so I can’t bring you the note.

“The note is folded in half, and the two halves are sticking-charmed together. Written on the top of the note are the words, ‘To be able to read this note, twice cast’—then the remaining words are in Parseltext.”

Lucius Malfoy said, “My Lord, it’s a trap.”

Voldemort sneered, “Of course it’s a trap. I truly doubt that the boy wants me merely to read a friendly letter he wrote. But need I fear any trap that a schoolboy invents?”

All the Death Eaters laughed scornfully.

****

But Voldemort, inside his mind, was not cocky. Before the three magicals from the other timeline had been brought here fifteen days ago, Dumbledore would refuse to use any tactic that was not ridiculously Light, and Dumbledore would not let Potter do anything that was not ridiculously Light.

Before Voldemort’s battle in the Ministry Atrium with Potter and his mudblood on 19 June 1996, Potter, whenever he had seen an enemy, had done nothing until attacked, then he had defended himself like a Gryffindor, but Potter never had counterattacked. Before 19 June 1996, Lucius’s son had said things to Potter in the Great Hall that would have gotten the blond boy Crucioed if he had said such things in the Slytherin common room, but Potter never had attacked Draco Malfoy for saying such words.

In short, before the Ministry Atrium battle on 19 June, “nice bloke” Potter had never attacked anyone for anything. Before 19 June, “nice bloke” Potter never would have even imagined dropping a disturbing note practically in Voldemort’s face.

Merlin’s beard, even during 19 June, in the Ministry Atrium, Potter’s mudblood had been a hundred times more dangerous to Voldemort than Potter himself had been.

But later on, Potter had escaped Dumbledore’s clutches, before or after the boy had been destatuefied; and now Potter had the other Harry Potter and the other Dumbledore giving him advice. There was no way for Voldemort to guess what Potter was planning now, after Potter had heard such advice.

Then too was the problem that Potter was only a schoolboy, but he was a ridiculously lucky schoolboy. The halfblood annoying child should have died by Voldemort’s wand long before now, but he was still alive by good luck. Which raised the question: What if Voldemort’s luck ran out before Potter’s did?

****

Now Voldemort stood up, walked away from his throne, and walked to the ballroom’s double entrance doors. He loudly announced, “I would read this note that is sticking-charmed to Snape. All of you, stay here.”

Lucius tried to ingratiate himself: “My Lord, let me come with you, to protect you from attack.”

And if I agree, the other forty-nine Death Eaters here will think me scared of Harry Potter, Voldemort thought. I’ll lose their loyalty and their obedience in an instant.

Aloud, Voldemort said, “Really, Lucius? You think I cannot handle this schoolboy by myself? No, Lucius and the rest of you, Nagini—stay here.” Only as Voldemort was opening a ballroom door did he draw his wand, seemingly as an afterthought.

****

Seconds later, whilst Voldemort stood alone just outside the shut ballroom doors, was he scared of the forehead-scarred schoolboy? At breakfast, Voldemort would have laughed scornfully at such a question, with the attitude of Scared of Potter? Not at all. But now? Harry Potter had sent Snape’s corpse through the Malfoy Manor wards; this frightened Voldemort, for several reasons.

****

Voldemort’s first move, when nobody could watch him, was to call for a Malfoy house-elf.

Pop. the head Malfoy house-elf, Goldy, appeared.

Voldemort demanded to know, “Besides the people in the throne room, and me outside the throne room, who is in Malfoy Manor?”

“Lady Malfoy bes in the kitchen.”

“And Draco, where is he?”

“Heir Malfoy bes outside, flysing his broom.”

Voldemort stared down the big-eyed creature. “You say Narcissa and I are the only people who are in Malfoy Manor and are outside the ballroom? Nobody else is here?”

Goldy nodded; his face showed no expression. “You two bes all.”

Voldemort wondered whether Goldy was lying to him, on the orders of Lucius or of Narcissa. Probably not, Voldemort decided.

“I’m done. Go,” Voldemort commanded. Goldy elf-popped away.

****

It seemed that Voldemort now had no reason to worry. But Voldemort had not risen to where he was today by being a rash fool. This meant that during Voldemort’s walk from the ballroom doors to Snape’s corpse, then back to the ballroom doors, Voldemort would not hurry. Instead, Voldemort would be slow, he would be cautious, he would be watchful every second and he would be listening every second. Harry Potter, supposedly “the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord,” would not surprise Voldemort!

****

Now Voldemort cast Homenum Revelio in the seemingly deserted corridor by the ballroom doors. The spell revealed nobody besides Voldemort in the corridor, but Voldemort did not relax.

When Voldemort had walked to the stairs that would take him up from the ground floor to the first floor, Voldemort did not put a bare foot on the stairs until Voldemort had checked for curses and traps, and had cast Homenum Revelio up the stairs.

Voldemort walked up the stairs as silently as he could. Three times whilst on the stairs, he paused whilst listening hard. On the stairs, he heard nothing except for the quiet sounds that his own feet made, but he did not relax.

Once Voldemort was at the top of the stairs, he did not step out into the first-floor corridor. Instead he shoved his right hand into the corridor and bent his wrist so that his wand was pointed generally to the right, towards the golden door and towards Snape’s corpse in front of the golden door.

Voldemort cast Homenum Revelio again. The spell claimed that there was nobody in the first-floor corridor, but Voldemort did not relax.

Voldemort did, however, step into the first-floor corridor and slowly walk towards Snape’s corpse.

When Voldemort passed the door to Draco’s bedroom, Voldemort pointed his wand at the door and cast another Homenum Revelio. Draco was not in his bedroom.

The Dark Lord was on high alert now. Whilst he slowly approached Snape’s corpse, he was passing other bedroom doors besides Draco’s. Any second now, Voldemort expected one of those doors to be yanked open and a Gryffindor-robed schoolboy Chosen One to shoot curses at him.

No such attack happened by the time Voldemort walked up to the dead body that had its left lower arm missing; but Voldemort did not relax.

Voldemort forced himself to bend down and to feel Snape’s body in different places, whilst taking care to avoid getting blood on his hands. The body turned out to be still warm, and Snape’s arms moved freely when pulled, with no rigor mortis resistance. Conclusion: Snape had been killed earlier than today—perhaps as early as 27 June, a full fortnight ago—but Snape’s body had been put under a Stasis Charm till now.

Snape’s corpse had three narrow, straight tunnels going through it, from front to back. An ignorant Muggle would say these were gunshots, because of the size of the entrance holes, but the tunnels were too neat to be made by bullets. With two mock-gunshots through the heart and one mock-gunshot through the forehead, Voldemort did not need a healer’s pronouncement to know that Snape was dead.

Dead—and killed by someone Muggle-raised. A Pureblood would have killed Snape with the Killing Curse, which would have left the Potions Master dead but his body unmarked; or the Pureblood would have killed Snape with a ghastly curse. A Pureblood would never have thought to kill someone with three carefully-aimed Piercing Hexes; and would have utterly dismissed the idea if someone else had suggested to him, such a way of killing Snape.

The facts suggested that it was Harry Potter the Muggle-raised schoolboy, instead of someone wizard-raised, who had killed Snape. But before 19 June, when Potter and Voldemort had battled in the Ministry Atrium, it had been unthinkable for Potter to kill Snape in this way; Dumbledore would never have allowed it. Voldemort realised that he no longer could predict Potter’s thoughts and actions.

****

The note that was sticking-charmed to Snape’s body was, like the note that had fallen from the ceiling in the ballroom, not written on parchment. Instead, the note was written on A4-sized paper that was folded double. Written on the top half-note, and not with a quill pen, were these English and Parseltongue words—

To remove this note and to unfold it, twice cast §Unstick these two surfaces.§

Voldemort was alarmed now—actually, he was closer to being frightened. What (supposedly) nobody knew except the Dark Lord himself was that when a Death Eater received the Dark Mark, he was not receiving a Dark-Magic tattoo, but was receiving a transfigured wafer that was sticking-charmed to his left forearm with a Parseltongue spell. §Unstick these two surfaces§ was the counter to Voldemort’s Parseltongue sticking-charm.

No way on Earth would Voldemort free a Death Eater by unsticking his Dark Mark wafer, but Potter could. Did Potter know he could free Death Eaters from enslavement to Voldemort?

Apparently so. Written on the top of the half-note were more Parseltext words—

§Don’t worry about your slaves, I’ve no plans to remove any Death Eater’s Dark Mark wafer. Why? Because I can’t be charged with murder if some inbred fool is wearing the wafer when I kill him. What, you thought I’d give unlimited second chances to any Stupidity Stamp-wearing inbred?§

These words frightened Voldemort. The “Golden Boy of Gryffindor” was not who had written these words; they had been written by someone who was vengeful and murderous—who also was the Chosen One of the Prophecy.

The thought jumped into Voldemort’s head: I’m exposed here! Potter could be watching me now, ready to strike! Voldemort spun about, his wand at the ready, looking for his lightning-bolt-scarred attacker.

But Voldemort saw nobody in the corridor, and Homenum Revelio confirmed that nobody was in the corridor. Nobody was peeking out at Voldemort through a slightly open door. Meaning, Voldemort was in no danger right now.

Or so it seemed.

Almost-calm Voldemort turned back to Snape’s corpse, and to the note sticking-charmed to it.

****

When Voldemort cast §Unstick these two surfaces§ twice, so that he could pick up the note and could unfold the note, Voldemort discovered that what was written on the outside of the note had more words than the note itself. Again, the words written on the unfolded paper were written with a ballpoint pen, not with a quill—

To TMR (Lord Death-From-Fleas)—

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches, and you’re due serious payback.

HJP

Voldemort used his wand to vanish the note—and to vanish the corpse that the note had been laying on. (This magic also vanished the top layer of carpet fibres that dead Snape had been laying on, because dead Snape had been sticking-charmed to the carpet, but Voldemort did not care about the appearance of the carpet.)

Voldemort did not care a bit that by vanishing Snape’s corpse, the Dark Lord was destroying all hope that someday the DMLE would arrest Snape’s killer, Harry James Potter.

Then Voldemort ordered the Malfoy house-elves to clean all the blood out of the first-floor-corridor carpet. Those bloodstains were right outside his bedroom door, and he deserved better than to see blood when he had not caused the bleeding.

****

Potter expects me to lower my guard now. To relax. To believe I’m out of danger.

Voldemort did not rush back to the ballroom. If Potter could get Snape’s corpse through the Malfoy Manor wards, Potter almost certainly could get himself through the Malfoy Manor wards.

Also, Snape had told Voldemort that Potter owned an extra-special invisibility cloak, though Dumbledore and “Mad-Eye” Moody had been able to detect Potter’s invisibility cloak at that time. Voldemort was not willing to bet his life that Potter’s invisibility cloak still was detectable.

In short, Voldemort in the first-floor corridor now acted cautious, as though Potter were here, invisible, and was ready to attack the Dark Lord at any moment.

Potter, where are you? Show yourself, boy!

So Voldemort was alert, and his steps were slow, as he made his way back to the ballroom. Voldemort cast Homenum Revelio four more times, and several times stopped moving completely, to listen.

Potter is invisible, and he’s waiting to strike!

But eventually Voldemort stood just outside the double doors to his throne room—formerly the Malfoy Manor ballroom.

When each of his hands was on a door handle, only then did Voldemort let himself relax, only then did Voldemort let himself think, Potter won’t kill me today.

Voldemort opened the doors, expecting to hear ingratiating remarks from Lucius and from Wormtail, and expecting to see Dolohov looking murderous as usual.

****

Instead, Voldemort saw carnage in the throne room. Lucius Malfoy—now unidentifiable except for his long blond hair—and many other black-robed Death Eaters were on the floor, dead.

Blood was everywhere. Chunks of meat were everywhere.

Dolohov was a skeleton, between hips and head; the corpse was surrounded by red, chunky soup.

Nagini was missing a head—or rather, the head of Voldemort’s snake familiar was now nothing but red chunks that were scattered over a big area of ballroom floor.

Peter Pettigrew now was a silver hand lying on the floor; and a lot of red splatter that was on one part of the wall and on one part of the floor. Above the blood on the floor, blood dripped from the ceiling. Pettigrew, who had faked his death by explosion, now was exploded for real.

Nobody whom Voldemort saw on the floor had the unharmed, intact corpse that resulted from being hit by a Killing Curse.

The ballroom was utterly silent—till Voldemort took a step inside the doors. Then he heard a loud keening from a wizard on the floor, as though the wizard was screaming whilst keeping his mouth shut.

That wizard was missing three-quarters of his left leg.

Voldemort, due to his utter shock, completely lost his situational awareness for one second. One second was enough.

****

Something like a black ball that was attached to a half-black, half-white rope, slammed into Voldemort’s chest.

Sluuuurp! went the black ball.

Voldemort felt the magic being sucked out of his body.

To defend himself, Voldemort sucked magic from his surviving Death Eaters—who were elsewhere, but who all were connected to him magically.

With that problem solved (for the moment), only then did Voldemort notice the six intruders who were standing along the ballroom’s left-side wall—

• an old man who had to be the other Dumbledore;

• the blonde-haired teen witch who had tried to kill Voldemort three weeks ago, but had missed; now she was smiling dreamily at Voldemort;

• Potter;

• Potter’s taller twin; and

• the teen witch who had killed Bellatrix, and the teen witch’s twin. Those two witches were wearing Muggle clothes. One brown-haired witch’s shirt read “Muggle-born 1,” in black-outlined white letters on a white background; the other witch’s shirt read “Muggle-born 2.”

Voldemort quickly pointed his wand at (the shorter) Potter—mainly because it was Potter’s wand’s black ball that was draining the magic from the Dark Lord. Voldemort yelled, “Avada Kedavra!”

But rather than a brilliant streak of green shooting out of Voldemort’s wand towards Potter, a glowing (but not bright) green blob flew towards Potter—

Then a shield that was cast by the taller Harry Potter bounced the Killing Curse back. Voldemort had to dodge his own curse!

Meanwhile, both of the brown-haired witches, after brief words together, cast identical curses—“Chehr voup roifss!”—at the keening Death Eater wizard. The black cloth, skin and muscle outside the wizard’s rib cage and abdomen, and the internal organs of the abdomen and inside the rib cage, all melted into a chunky red soup that flowed onto the floor. Every part of the wizard’s neck melted into chunky red soup, except for his vertebrae. All this stopped the keening.

Voldemort decided that it was time to instill fear: “You cannot kill me, Potters. I am immor—”

Shorter Potter grinned at him. “Nagini was the last horcrux, Tommy. You, immortal? No more.”

Then Potter said, “By the by, your current body was created by a magical ritual, and I’m stealing your body’s magic. So you’re in big—”

Voldemort did not live to hear the rest of Potter’s sentence.

****

Harry grinned as he watched Voldemort’s body turn into grey dust, a few drops of blood, Wormtail’s severed hand and a dead snake-faced toddler boy. Voldemort had outlived Nagini and all the Death Eaters in the ballroom, but not by long.

Harry walked over and carefully vanished the bone-dust, making sure to find and to vanish every last speck. Then Harry vanished the snake-faced toddler boy and the severed hand; Harry made doubly sure to vanish all the drops of his own blood.

Harry looked about the ballroom at the only other living people in the room—the five he had come with. Harry said, “This is a great day, everyone. This is a spectacular day. Voldemort is dead, Nagini is dead, Wormtail the betrayer of my parents and the murderer of Cedric Diggory, he’s dead. Dolohov is dead and Hermione is avenged. Lucy died after he tried to kill me with a silently-cast curse. Let me check something.”

Harry raised his chin, and his voice turned formal: “I call the Malfoy Head of House ring to my hand.”

The House Potter and House Black rings appeared on Harry’s finger. Light flashed, and the House Malfoy ring appeared next to the House Potter ring. All three rings merged together, with the House Malfoy ring showing.

Harry held up his fist and grinned. “Now I’m Lord Malfoy by Right of Conquest.”

Other-Harry said, “You’ll be pleased to know that at Malfoy Manor, Raspy bakes world-class treacle tarts.”

Other-Dumbledore said, “Thank you for asking us, ahead of time, to act as your Hand. I am sure this is the reason all six of us are alive and healthy.”

Now Harry grinned at the Hermiones. “Since I now own this ballroom floor, can you do something more frightening to Voldemort’s throne than merely vanishing his throne, without damaging the floor it’s on?”

“No problem, Harry,” said Hermione in her “Muggle-born 1” t-shirt. She pointed her wand at the Dark Lord’s throne and cast “Bheeshpaitsooth!” Voldemort’s throne turned into dust, which collapsed into a big, puffy lump of dust on the floor.

Harry grinned at Hermione, then raised his voice and said, “I hereby declare the Dark Lord to be vanquished.”

****

So what happened in the ballroom after Voldemort left?

A split second after Harry had cast §Sentiri§, so that Harry’s Six no longer were green ghosts, Luna hit Pettigrew with Expulso (the Explosion Curse) from only inches away, whilst Other-Harry cast §Unable to Talk§. With Harry’s Six being previously inoculated against the effect of this spell, casting §Unable to Talk§ in the ballroom meant, amongst other things, that none of the Death Eaters could cast Avada Kedavra—which cannot be cast silently. Percival Dumbledore, meanwhile, cast anti-Apparation and anti-Portkey spells in the ballroom—even though the two spells probably were not needed, since the Death Eaters could not speak.

At the same time, as soon as Harry’s Six became visible and smellable, Other-Hermione made Nagini’s head explode with Reducto, whilst Hermione killed Dolohov nastily with Chehr voup roifss.

In short, two seconds after Harry’s Six no longer were green ghosts, Nagini, Pettigrew and Dolohov, each caught completely by surprise, were dead.

After those first two seconds, with only Lucius Malfoy able to fight back (silently), and with nobody able to escape the ballroom magically—and with no Pureblood realising he could leave the ballroom by running through the doors—it just became a simple matter for Harry’s Six of Harry stealing each Death Eater’s magic with §Goldkeh§, then the other five of the Six killing that Death Eater when he was helpless because he was magicless, and knew he was doomed. Such deaths of Death Eaters were fitting, really.

A runestone that had been designed jointly by Hermione and by Other-Hermione put a Silence Outside spell on the walls, windows and doors of the ballroom. Whilst Voldemort and his Death Eaters were at breakfast elsewhere, temporarily de-ghosted Hermione had activated the runestone, had placed the runestone behind Voldemort’s throne, then had cast a Notice-Me-Not Charm on the runestone. Later on, inside the ballroom were loud explosions, and agonised Death Eaters keened instead of screamed; but outside the ballroom, Voldemort heard not even a whisper.

Needless to say, when Voldemort returned to the ballroom, he was taken completely by surprise by all the gory deaths.

This surprise turned fatal for him, less than a minute later.

****

In Gringotts, five minutes later

BAM-BAM-BAM! Someone pounded on the office door of Axefrenzy, the Potter Account Manager.

Axefrenzy started to yell, “ENT—”

A runner opened the door before Axefrenzy had finished his command to enter. Speaking quickly, the runner said, “Director Ragnok wants you in his office now. Whatever is happening, it’s big.”

A minute later, a panting and sweaty Axefrenzy was in Director Ragnok’s office. Axefrenzy was by no means alone.

Also in the office, besides Axefrenzy, Director Ragnok and the Director’s two goblin bodyguards, were Slicesword, the Malfoy account manager; Goldsmelter, the Avery account manager; Weightyaxe, the Parkinson account manager; Swordsharpener, the Crabbe-Flint-Goyle accounts manager; and about twenty other goblins.

“Account Manager Axefrenzy,” called out Director Ragnok. “Come before me!”

Axefrenzy rushed to stand in front of the Director’s desk. Whilst Axefrenzy bowed, he tried and failed to guess what was going on. But whatever it was, Director Ragnok did not seem angry with either Axefrenzy or his client.

Director Ragnok told Axefrenzy, “Something groundbreaking has just happened. Gringotts still is trying to figure out what it is. But whatever just happened, your client, Harry James Potter, seems to be in the centre of it.”

Chapter Text

Still Saturday, 11 July, still in Malfoy Manor’s ballroom
Right after Harry vanished Voldemort’s deritualised body and Hermione turned Voldemort’s throne into dust

Harry grinned at Hermione, then raised his voice and said, “I hereby declare the Dark Lord to be vanquished.”

Then Harry said, “It’s time we bring the DMLE in. And since I’m now Lord Malfoy, I need to talk to Narcissa and”—Harry scowled—“to Draco. But before we do those things, I need an oath from myself and from each of you: ‘I swear on my magic that I shall not tell, by speech or by writing, anyone in this timeline who does not already know these things, how we entered any part of Malfoy Manor and how we killed Voldemort and the Death Eaters.’ ”

Hermione asked, “You want the oath because you are worried that hidden Death Eaters in the Wizengamot will put you on trial, then will demand that you be questioned under Veritaserum?”

Harry nodded. “That’s part of it. Also because if the Dark seat-holders in the Wizengamot found out how we killed fifty Pureblood Death Eaters, they could take steps so that whatever we did, could never be done again. But mainly I don’t want”—now Harry smirked at Other-Dumbledore—“the long-bearded headmaster of Hogwarts bothering me and bothering me and bothering me to tell him things he hasn’t earnt the right to know.”

“Albus Dumbledore won’t be a problem for you,” Other-Hermione said. “Really.” Her smile was vampiric.

Other-Hermione then asked, “As for the vow, it’s to keep these things secret only in this timeline, right? We three, once we return to our timeline, may say whatever we want to say?”

“Exactly,” replied Harry. “Because you three don’t have to worry about your Wizengamot dragging you into Courtroom Ten, and you don’t need to worry about the headmaster of your Hogwarts being nosy.” Harry smirked at Other-Dumbledore again.

Then, in the Malfoy Manor ballroom, surrounded by a big and headless snake, dead bodies, body parts, blood, gore and a pile of dust, Harry gave his magical oath. This was followed immediately by the other five magicals, from two timelines, giving their own magical oaths.

With this done, Hermione Accioed the Silence Outside runestone and dropped it into her purple beaded handbag, then Harry’s Six walked out through the ballroom doors.

****

As soon as the Six were all outside the ballroom and the doors were shut, Other-Hermione said, “I’m glad to be out of there. I killed people—I know I’m going to have many nightmares about this. I plan to be a Healer someday, but today I’ve killed people!”

Hermione hugged her twin, then said, “Remember that some of the people you killed, tried to kill you first. Actually, because you’re Muggle-born, every person in that room would have tried to kill you eventually, if not for Harry taking their magic and my Kedavrub Protego shield shielding you from their curses.”

Other-Hermione gave Hermione a watery smile. “You intend for your words to reduce my nightmares?”

Other-Harry threw his arms round his girlfriend. “Today you were a true Gryffindor. You’re a wreck, I get that, but I’m so proud of you. You stepped up.”

As soon as Other-Harry broke the hug, Harry said to him, “Please unstick Snape’s corpse and bring him here. The DMLE needs to know what happened to him, even if it means I get arrested.”

“As you wish, sahr,” Other-Harry replied. He snapped Harry a jaunty British Army salute, then Apparated away.

Seconds later, Other-Harry was back—without Snape’s corpse. Other-Harry explained, “Snape’s body is gone, the note is gone, and one part of the corridor carpet looks like it was scraped off. I think Tommy vanished your Potions professor.”

“Good,” said Hermione. “Then neither of the Harrys can be put on trial for Professor Snape’s murder, since there’s no evidence.”

Harry asked Other-Harry, “What are the names of the Malfoy house-elves?”

“Goldy, Dobby, Hunky and Raspy.”

Harry grinned. “Remember that in this timeline, Dobby quit being a Malfoy house-elf three years ago. I might have had something to do with this.”

Then Harry’s voice turned serious: “I call Goldy, Hunky and Raspy here.”

Pop-p-pop. Three house-elves appeared; they all were bruised, and their tea-towels were filthy. The oldest of the three said, “I be Goldy. How can Goldy help new Lord Malfoy?”

Harry said, “I am Harry James Potter, who already is Lord Potter and Lord Black. I now am also Lord Malfoy by Right of Conquest, because Lucius got overconfident.”

Then Harry said in a concerned voice, “You lot look terrible. Is there anything I can do for you three to make your lives better?”

For asking this, Harry got a fierce Hermy-hug.

Meanwhile, the three Malfoy house-elves were sharing shocked looks. Goldy replied, whilst sounding and looking nervous, “If you injects magic into wes three, this helps wes heal more fast. If not you wants to, it bes okay.”

Harry injected magic into Goldy, then Raspy, then Hunky, till the house-elves were completely healed. It was no sacrifice for Harry—between the magic-boost ritual that he and Hermione had gone through, twelve days ago, and Harry sucking all the magic out of fifty Death Eaters, Harry now probably could magically heal every injured house-elf in Europe.

Now Harry looked at the three recharged house-elves and said, “I want one of you to go to Narcissa, and one of you to Draco. Tell each of them that ‘Lord Malfoy’ wants to meet with them outside the ballroom. But also tell them, right afterwards, that ‘Lord Malfoy’ wants Narcissa and Draco to give you their wands. If they give them to you voluntarily, all’s well. But the third house-elf should listen in, invisible, because he might need to take the wand away from the Malfoy who is refusing to give up his wand. In any case, I want both their wands to be gone from them, and in my hands, before either of them sees who’s waiting for them outside the ballroom. Draco will go spare when he comes to the ballroom, expecting to meet with his father, and instead sees me.”

Other-Harry grinned. “Two Harrys will make Draco foam at the mouth, you watch.”

“Not to mention,” said Hermione, “seeing the mudblood in his house, times two. Draco will not be calm.”

Then Harry asked the house-elves, “Is there anything that you’re involved with now that you must return to, after you summon Narcissa and Draco, and collect their wands? Do any of you have food cooking on the cooker, or you’re brewing a potion, or something like that?”

All three Malfoy house-elves said no.

Harry said, “Very well. After you return here with the two Malfoy wands, stand here and be visible, just in case Draco decides to do something hotheaded and stupid.”

“Goldy/Hunky/Raspy will.” P-p-pop.

****

Unbeknownst to Harry, before the two surviving Malfoys laid eyes on Harry’s Six, Narcissa and Draco already had been given clues that something major just had happened in their lives.

Narcissa had felt Lucius die; she had figured Voldemort had Killing-Cursed her husband. Lucius dead (supposedly) would make Draco become Lord Malfoy when he turned seventeen, but now Draco was underage, so the Regent Malfoy ring should have appeared on Narcissa’s right hand. Yet no such Regent Malfoy ring had appeared there. This had puzzled Narcissa.

As for Draco, he had felt his Heir Malfoy ring disappear off the middle finger of his right hand whilst Draco had been flying in midair. How could the ring leave his hand? Magical rings do not slip off, and Draco’s midair movements had made it difficult for a wand-waver on the ground to lock an Accio on Draco’s Heir Malfoy ring. After his Heir ring had disappeared, Draco had become annoyed and confused.

Now when a house-elf told Narcissa and Draco that “Lord Malfoy” wanted to meet with them, each Malfoy presumed that the house-elf meant Lucius. Each of them wondered why Lucius insisted on the house-elf collecting his wife’s/son’s wand before the meeting.

****

When Narcissa turned the corner to enter the corridor that would take her and her son to the entrance doors for the ballroom, she put her hand on Draco’s shoulder, for several reasons.

Narcissa was relieved to not see the Dark Lord outside the ballroom doors, waiting for her and for Draco. She felt fear when neither did she see Lucius waiting outside the ballroom doors. Merlin, Lucius indeed is dead!

Narcissa was confused when she saw Harry Potter, plus five other people, waiting for her and for Draco. Narcissa was even more confused when she and Draco walked up and she took a good look at those five other people—

• A teen boy in the corridor looked like Harry Potter’s identical twin—except Narcissa knew that Harry Potter did not have an identical twin. In any case, the “twin” was a foot taller than Harry Potter and was not a starveling. In fact, the other Harry Potter was muscular for his age.

• The blue-eyed old man looked like Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts—except this man’s grey hair had been cut shorter than most Muggle men’s hair; his beard was barely longer than stubble; and his robes were not multicoloured and flamboyant, they were solid grey.

• The teen witch with bushy brown hair and a shirt that proclaimed her to be a Muggle-born—this had to be the Granger witch, about whom Draco had written so many angry words.

• But Draco never had mentioned that Granger had an identical twin.

• The girl with the long blond hair was Luna Lovegood. Draco in his letters had confessed to be undecided whether Lovegood was utterly mad or was a Seer. Now this same girl gave both Narcissa and Draco a dreamy smile.

Meanwhile, Draco was screaming, “POTTER! MUDBLOOD! What the bloody hell are you two doing here?”

In reply, Harry Potter smiled cruelly. Narcissa was reminded of the Dark Lord’s smile—and what always would happen immediately after the Dark Lord smiled.

Narcissa squeezed Draco’s shoulder painfully and murmured, “Be silent, my dragon, and let me do the talking. Something strange is going on.”

When Narcissa and Draco came close to the six others and stopped, Harry Potter said solemnly, “Widow Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, good morning. Thank you for coming; we have important matters to discuss.”

Potter’s taller twin said, “My condolences, Regent Malfoy.”

Narcissa looked at him in surprise. “I am not Regent Malfoy. The Regent ring has not appeared on my hand.”

Draco demanded angrily, “Where is my father? If he’s dead, who killed him?”

Embarrassed Narcissa exclaimed, “My dragon, hush now!”

Potter did not seem cowed by Draco’s anger. Nor did Potter seem angry himself. Yet he slowly drew his wand and pointed it at Draco’s face. “Choose the rest of your words carefully, former Heir Malfoy, when you are near me. To answer your question, your father is on the other side of those doors, along with fifty or so other Death Eaters, all dead. I killed Lucius Malfoy—after he tried to kill me. Now I am Lord Malfoy by Right of Conquest.”

Potter then rotated his right hand, pointing his wand sideways. Besides taking Draco out of danger, this displayed to Narcissa and to Draco the ring-wearing part of Potter’s right hand—which now displayed the Malfoy Head of House ring.

Narcissa curtseyed to Potter. Draco, after a maternal slap to the back of his head, bowed to Potter.

Potter said to Narcissa, “Whatever your marriage contract says about a widow stipend, I will honour those terms.”

Relieved Narcissa said, “Thank you, my lord.” Then she asked worriedly, “The Dark Lord, what of him?”

It was the Lovegood girl who answered: “He’s ‘So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu.’ ”

Potter nodded. “Tom Marvolo Riddle—‘the Dark Lord’ to you—is dead, I killed him, and every atom of his body is erased from existence. He won’t come back ever.”

Draco did not speak now but, after catching Narcissa’s eye, his left hand tapped his right ring finger meaningfully. Narcissa asked Potter, “Who shall be the next Heir Malfoy?”

Potter looked at Draco. “Certainly it shan’t be you. Draco, did you know that your great-grandfather had a brother who was a Squib? The Squib’s name was Stefanus Malfoy—until he was kicked out of the Malfoy family and was kicked out of the magical world. Anyway, Stefanus Malfoy, who renamed himself Stephen Moffitt, is one of Hermione’s great-grandfathers.”

Now Potter’s grin reminded Narcissa of the Marauders. “ ‘The mudblood’ is a Malfoy too, Draco, and is just as magical as you—so maybe I’ll choose her to be Heiress Malfoy.”

Both brown-haired teen witches grinned cruelly at Draco, who was looking chalk-pale now.

Potter stared at Draco and said, “Speaking of Muggle-borns, they have a low status in Wizarding Britain. Remember who has an even lower status than Muggle-borns, Draco? Magicals who are disowned, who have no name and no House. I can disown you now, Draco Lucius Malfoy—walk wary.”

****

Instead of letting Narcissa go into the ballroom to remove Lucius’s corpse and to begin funeral arrangements, Harry insisted that everyone remain outside the ballroom “so we don’t contaminate the scene of crime”—which was apparently an important Muggle rule.

Now Potter, still standing outside the ballroom doors, sent a messenger-Patronus to Amelia Bones—“the only person in the Ministry whom Lucius Malfoy couldn’t bribe and Albus Dumbledore can’t bedazzle”—to come to Malfoy Manor. Harry’s message to Bones—

“This is Harry Potter. Please come to Malfoy Manor. The Dark Lord is dead, Severus Snape is dead, fifty Death Eaters are dead, and I now am Lord Malfoy by Right of Conquest. By the by, Voldy was plotting your murder when I killed him. One other thing: Whichever Aurors you bring with you, don’t bring John Dawlish.”

****

Later, after the arrival of Amelia Bones and two Aurors at Malfoy Manor

Amelia Bones arrived with two Aurors. One of them was Senior Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt, who had been one of the ritualists on 26 June. This meant that the Director of the DMLE did not need to be told why three of the people in Harry’s Six looked sort of like, but not exactly like, people whom Susan Bones would recognise.

Madam Bones’s first words were, “What can you tell me about all those deaths?”

Other-Harry spoke up before Harry did: “Severus Snape did not die in the ballroom. Voldemort vanished his body, but if you go to the first-floor corridor outside the golden door, maybe magical forensics can find some trace of him.”

Madam Bones shook her head. “If a powerful vanishing spell was used? No, there’s nothing to find.”

Harry drew his wand (slowly), pointed it at the ceiling and said, “I swear on my magic that I killed Voldemort in the ballroom, in a way that changed his body back into its separate ingredients from before last year’s resurrection ritual. Then I vanished each of those ingredients, taking care to vanish everything thoroughly. I believe there is no trace of his body left, and no part of his soul is left. So mote it be.”

The flash of light that meant a magical oath had been accepted, was blinding.

Then Harry added, “The Chudley Cannons will win the League Cup before Voldemort comes back again. Believe it.”

Director Bones nodded. “Yes, I can understand why you would be sure to make You-Know-Who’s re-resurrection impossible.”

Madam Bones then asked Harry, “How did you six take out fifty Death Eaters and Voldemort? Change that—How did you slip into Malfoy Manor without the wards cooking you, then how did you take out Voldemort and fifty Death Eaters?”

Harry looked meaningfully at Draco, then at Shacklebolt, then Harry said, “That’s a secret, which we gave an oath on our magic not to tell. We’re not telling anyone who doesn’t already know the secret, because of whom they might tell.”

Draco growled. Narcissa murmured, “Hush, my dragon. You imperil yourself.”

Then Madam Bones asked Harry, “Why did you tell me not to bring John Dawlish?”

Harry replied, “Because whatever Dawlish learnt here today, the wrong people would be told.”

Other-Dumbledore explained to Madam Bones, “In my timeline, after the fall of Voldemort, Dawlish was overheard spouting blood-purity doctrine, and wishing that someone else would take up the dead Dark Lord’s struggle. Dawlish was questioned under Veritaserum, during which he said the only reason he was not a Death Eater was that since he was one of Cornelius’s bodyguards, Director Bones would see his Dark Mark sooner or later if he joined the Death Eaters. Which would mean Azkaban, soon afterwards. My timeline’s Director Bones demoted Dawlish down to Auror Second Class”—the lowest Auror rank outside the Auror Academy. “Dawlish quit a month later, just as I believe she intended.”

****

Harry handed Narcissa and Draco their wands back. Then Madam Bones, Auror Shacklebolt and the second Auror, and Narcissa and Draco all entered the ballroom; Harry and the rest of Harry’s Six waited outside.

Immediately Madam Bones called for more Aurors—none of whom were John Dawlish—to identify the dead, and to send the corpses and corpse-parts to the DMLE morgue. Once the additional Aurors had arrived, Madam Bones told all the Aurors, “No matter what you see, no crime has been committed here. Nobody shall be arrested. Are we clear?”

Meanwhile, revolted Draco already had vomited on the ballroom floor, then had rushed out of the ballroom.

****

Meanwhile, just outside the ballroom

Harry said to Goldy, who had been quietly standing there and listening the entire time, “Fetch me the Malfoy Manor Ward Ledger and a self-inking quill.”

Once Harry had those, he edited the Ward Ledger whilst cackling evilly.

When Harry was done, the only people allowed to pass through the Malfoy Manor wards were Narcissa and Draco, and all of Harry’s Six.

Anyone else who now tried to enter Malfoy Manor—and this included all the Dark wizards except Draco who had been allowed to enter Malfoy Manor at breakfasttime—would now be received quite differently. If now they tried to enter Malfoy Manor, they would never need to worry about wrinkles, osteoarthritis or senility/dementia.

After the Ward Ledger was edited and was put back where it belonged, Harry looked at the three silently-waiting Malfoy house-elves. Harry ordered them, “Get some money out of the Malfoy coinage vault, and either buy yourself clothes, or else buy cloth and leather, and you three make yourselves clothes. You three come up with the design for your Malfoy house-elf uniform, but remember the House Malfoy crest must be clearly visible. Colours for your uniform—you choose them, except no green and silver, or red and gold. This next part is important: I want you to look sharp when you’re with other house-elves. This means, don’t be afraid to spend my money in order to get yourselves grand uniforms.”

The Malfoy house-elves did not thank Harry with words before they elf-popped away, but all three Malfoy house-elves gave Harry very big grins.

****

Harry looked at the rest of Harry’s Six. “Is there anything else we need to do before we perform Boot’s Ritual to send our three unwilling visitors back home?”

Hermione bit her lip, then said, “Erm, Harry? What we did today was historic. We should announce it.”

Harry looked pained. “Do we have to? Yeah, I suppose we do.”

Hermione said, “Firstly, we need to tell people the basic facts so they’ll know Voldemort is dead and they’ll stop worrying. Secondly, if you don’t say something first, Albus will speak first or Rita will, and it won’t be pretty.”

Harry made another face.

Hermione deepened her voice, put on a pompous tone, and said, in a passable impression of Albus Dumbledore, “Yes, Harry did defeat Voldemort, in a matter of speaking, but Harry did so in a brash, boyish manner, mostly ignoring my wise guidance in the process. However, all the good parts of his plan, it was I who invented them.”

Luna said, “Rita’s words would imply that you killing Voldemort was the nastiest lover’s spat ever seen.”

Harry sighed. “Then I guess we return to Black Manor, and I sit down with a quill and an ink bottle, and figure out what to tell the world. Help me, Hermione?”

“Do you even need to ask?”

Luna said, “I’ll help too. I’ve read lots of press releases, so I have a rough idea of what to write and of what not to.”

****

An hour later, at Number 12, Grimmauld Place
Harry, Hermione, and Luna just have been elf-popped to the Daily Prophet building

Left behind in Black Manor were the other timeline’s Percival Dumbledore, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger.

Wavy-haired Hermione grinned at the two other Timeline-B magicals. “Now there’s nothing left for us or for our counterparts to do except to conduct the ritual to send us home.”

“Quite so,” said Percival Dumbledore. “I will be glad to be back. You do realise, I trust, that we will return to the same second we left, back in June?”

“Really?” Other-Harry blurted; Other-Hermione merely nodded.

Other-Hermione said, “Headmaster Dumbledore, I truly do not like that the ridiculous-looking and pompous mockery of you can do such awful things to Local-Harry and to us, and he gets away with it.”

“Alas, Miss Granger,” said Percival Dumbledore, “this timeline’s Wizengamot shall not even slap his wrist.”

Wavy-haired Hermione never had set a teacher’s robes on fire, or had brewed Polyjuice Potion in a lavatory, or had assaulted Draco Malfoy, or had led an obnoxious professor to (hopefully) her doom; but Hermione had acted like a goody-two-shoes at Hogwarts only because she had never yearned to start trouble. Now, whilst grinning like a vampire, Other-Hermione said, “I have a few ideas how to ensure that Albus Dumbledore gets what’s due him. Shall I share my thoughts?”

****

Meanwhile, at the front desk of the Daily Prophet

The receptionist’s eyes widened when the teen wizard (Harry) and the two teen witches (Hermione and Luna) walked up to her. The receptionist blurted, “You’re Harry Potter!”

Harry smiled a Gilderoy Lockhart smile at the witch—which nearly made her swoon. Harry said, “We’ve a press release to personally deliver to Barnabas Cuffe,” who was the editor-in-chief of the Daily Prophet. “Is Mr Cuffe in?”

“Well, it’s lunchtime now, but sometimes he eats in his office. I’ll go find him!”

The witch hurried away from her chair, deeper into the building, as quickly as any Weasley Twins-hit Bludger ever had moved.

Hermione smacked Harry’s arm and said, “I saw the smile you gave her. Harry Potter, flirt, whodathunkit?”

Luna smiled dreamily.

****

Almost two minutes later, a middle-aged wizard and the receptionist hurried up to the three teenagers—or rather, the middle-aged wizard covered ground as quickly as a man of his age could run. When compared to Hogwarts teenagers, Cuffe’s “run” would be considered only a fast walk.

The panting, red-faced wizard had his hand out. “Mr Potter, I’m Barnabas Cuffe. It is a great honour to meet you!”

Harry shook his hand, then said, “Really, Mr Cuffe, I’m just Harry, not some children’s-book hero.”

The receptionist said, “How can you say that, after you saved that village from those vampires?”

Hermione elbowed Harry and whispered, “Introduce Luna and me, then give him the press release, Modest Harry.”

Harry looked at Cuffe and said, “The witch with the ‘Muggle-born 1’ t-shirt is Hermione Granger, my best friend and now girlfriend. The Prophet has written several things about Hermione—none of them true. The blonde is Luna Lovegood, daughter of Xenophilius Lovegood, who is the publisher of the Quibbler.”

Luna gave Cuffe a dreamy smile.

Cuffe looked at Luna and said, “I am quite familiar with your father’s writings.”

Harry noticed that Cuffe did not say that he enjoyed Xenophilius Lovegood’s writings, or that Cuffe believed them, only that he was familiar with them.

With introductions done, Harry reached into a pocket, pulled out five feet of parchment and handed the rolled-up parchment to Cuffe.

VOLDEMORT AND FIFTY DEATH EATERS KILLED BY HARRY POTTER AND FIVE OTHERS

On the morning of 11 July 1996, Harry Potter (halfblood, born 31 July 1980) and a team of five other magicals entered Malfoy Manor, which “Lord” Voldemort was using as his base of operations. Harry’s Six then went to the empty Malfoy Manor ballroom, which “Lord” Voldemort had repurposed as his throne room. The six magicals, by then invisible, waited for “Lord” Voldemort and his Death Eaters to arrive in the throne room after “Lord” Voldemort and his Death Eaters had eaten breakfast elsewhere in Malfoy Manor.

By a trick, Potter convinced “Lord” Voldemort to leave the throne room without any of his fifty Death Eaters or his snake familiar going with him. Harry Potter’s trick ensured that “Lord” Voldemort was gone for a while. As soon as “Lord” Voldemort left the throne room, Harry’s Six revealed themselves to the Death Eaters and attacked, six against fifty.

Anti-Portkey and Anti-Apparation spells that were cast by one of Harry’s Six ensured that none of the Death Eaters could leave the ballroom. A Silence Outside wardstone that had been carved by Hermione Granger and by another of Harry’s Six ensured that “Lord” Voldemort, whilst out of the ballroom, heard no sounds coming from within the ballroom.

Deliberately killed first, in the first two seconds of attack, were Death Eaters Peter Pettigrew and Antonin Dolohov, and “Lord” Voldemort’s oversized snake familiar, Nagini.

None of Harry’s Six died or were injured during the battle. All fifty Death Eaters in the ballroom (throne room) were killed.

Lucius Malfoy tried to kill Harry Potter, who promptly killed him. Thus Harry Potter became Malfoy Head of House by Right of Conquest.

By the time “Lord” Voldemort returned to the ballroom (throne room), all fifty Death Eaters were dead. Potter attacked “Lord” Voldemort and killed him, without help from the other five of the Six. Then Potter vanished all of “Lord” Voldemort’s body, carefully and completely, so that it would be impossible for “Lord” Voldemort to be resurrected a second time.

Harry’s Six have taken a magical oath to not reveal how they bypassed Malfoy Manor’s wards to get into the ballroom, and to not reveal how they killed Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

None of Harry’s Six cast the Killing Curse, the Cruciatus Curse or the Imperius Curse on “Lord” Voldemort, on any Death Eater, on any other human in Malfoy Manor or on any house-elf in Malfoy Manor. None of Harry’s Six used any Muggle weaponry.

Besides Harry Potter, two magicals who were part of Harry’s Six were Hermione Jean Granger (16, Muggle-born) and Luna Selene Lovegood (15, Pureblood). The three others in the group shall not be named till 13 July because they do not live in Wizarding Britain, and the three do not want Death Eater sympathisers in the Wizarding Britain government to hinder them leaving Wizarding Britain.

All the credit for vanquishing “Lord” Voldemort goes to us, Harry’s Six, and to Gringotts goblins who excellently performed several services for us under contract. Nobody else helped us, so nobody else may take any credit for the vanquishing of “Lord” Voldemort.

The real name of “Lord” Voldemort is Tom Marvolo Riddle, born 31 December 1926. His mother was a Squib, Merope Gaunt, and his father was a love-potioned Muggle, Tom Riddle. “I am Lord Voldemort” is an anagram of “Tom Marvolo Riddle.”

In 1981, Peter Pettigrew was the Secret Keeper for the Godric’s Hollow house where James, Lily and Harry Potter lived. Pettigrew betrayed the Potters by revealing the Fidelius Secret to “Lord” Voldemort. A few days later in 1981, Pettigrew killed twelve Muggles, then framed Sirius Black for their deaths and for Pettigrew’s own “death.” In 1995 Pettigrew, obeying the order of “Lord” Voldemort, cast the Killing Curse on Cedric Diggory, which was witnessed by Harry Potter.

On 19 June of this year, during the battle of the Department of Mysteries, Antonin Dolohov cast a nasty purple-flame curse on Hermione Granger, who was one of the Ministry Six. Only because of unusual circumstances was the curse on Hermione Granger not fatal.

Harry Potter has these words for Wizarding Britain: “Know that the Dark Lord Voldemort is vanquished! He is dead and he is not coming back!”

Cuffe had been walking as he read, moving presumably towards his office, but when he got to the bottom of the five-foot-long parchment, he stopped walking and he looked at Harry in shock. “This is true? All of it?”

Harry replied, “Take me to someplace in this building that has lots of people in it, and I’ll prove that what’s written there is true.”

“The newsroom,” Luna prompted.

Cuffe led the three to the newsroom; Harry immediately walked to the centre of the room. There, Harry “greeted” the one person he recognised—

“Ah, Rita Skeeter—it’s bad to see you again.”

Hermione said, “Rita Skeeter—likewise it’s bad to see you.”

Luna said, “Bertha Rita Mouse, you give both journalism and water beetles a bad name.”

Before Rita had a chance to say anything (or to write anything), Harry drew his wand and pointed it at the ceiling. “Everyone here, may I have your attention, please? A few minutes ago, I handed Mr Cuffe a press release that has him gobsmacked. Briefly, what the press release says is: This morning I, these two witches and three other magicals killed Voldemort, fifty Death Eaters and Voldemort’s snake familiar.”

Everyone in the newsroom, including Rita, exclaimed in surprise.

Harry’s wand still was pointed straight up. “I swear on my magic, and I call you lot as witnesses, that every word of the press release is true. So mote it be.”

Oath-accepted light flashed. Instead of Harry demonstrating that he still had his magic with a Lumos Charm, Harry sent his Stag Patronus galloping about the newsroom, above everyone’s heads. This clearly amazed Cuffe and the reporters—except for Rita, who was scowling.

Now it was Hermione’s wand that was pointing up. “I swear on my magic that I witnessed Harry kill Voldemort and vanish his body, and I participated in the other events that the press release describes. So mote it be.”

Hermione’s Patronus was an otter that swam through air.

Luna completed the set: “I swear on my magic that Harry Potter made Voldemort dead and vanished, and I killed two Death Eaters. It was fun. Whoops, forgot, so mote it be.”

Luna’s Patronus was a rabbit that hopped about, above everyone’s heads.

“Bloody hell!” a male voice exclaimed.

****

Cuffe looked over at the source of the words. Bozo Snapper, the Daily Prophet photographer, was standing at the entrance to the breakroom, whilst chewing food and looking gobsmacked.

“Did I hear right?” Snapper asked. “You-Know-Who is dead, and Harry Potter killed him?”

Cuffe saw Rita shake her head a tiny bit, then shoot Snapper a You’re a moron look.

Cuffe himself looked at Snapper and said, “Leave your lunch on the table for now. Grab your camera and come to my office. I want at least two clear pictures of these three.”

Snapper sighed, then said, “I’ll grab my camera right now.” He hurried away.

Harry Potter looked at Cuffe and said, “Mr Cuffe, I trust that when you write this up, you not only will quote the press release in full, but you’ll mention that Hermione, Luna and I each swore on his or her magic that the press release is true, in front of witnesses.”

“Of course!” said Cuffe, who still felt gobsmacked.

****

Minutes later, in Barnabas Cuffe’s office

Rita Skeeter’s usually obnoxious photographer-sidekick had taken two photos of Harry, Hermione and Luna, then had left. To Harry’s surprise, the photographer had acted professional today, not obnoxious.

Now Hermione and Luna were listening quietly, whilst Harry was speaking—

“Mr Cuffe, I won’t tell you anything today about the other three people who fought along with us three. In two days at the latest, I will tell you, but not now. By 13 July, the other three will have escaped the wretched magical hive of scum and villainy that is Wizarding Britain.”

Later...

Harry said, “I won’t tell you how we sneaked into Malfoy Manor. I won’t tell you how I killed ‘Lord’ Voldemort and how we killed fifty Death Eaters, without us ourselves being killed or even hurt. Nor will I tell you why I won’t tell you. On Halloween of 1994, I learnt that some people don’t believe me even when I tell the full truth, so now I don’t tell the full truth. I don’t lie, ever, but now I keep secrets.”

Later...

Harry said, “Mr Cuffe, I hope you won’t disappoint me, such as if tomorrow’s Prophet would print the press release and would say ‘Harry Potter is a right fine wand-waving bloke’; but the next day features a front-page article by Rita Skeeter that implies I’m a liar, a cheater and I eat babies for breakfast. I’m not sure I did the right thing, giving my press release to the newspaper that employs Rita Skeeter.”

“Bertha Rita Mouse,” Luna corrected.

Chapter Text

Still Saturday, 11 July, about 1.30pm
In the Hogwarts Great Hall

Albus Dumbledore and Filius Flitwick were sitting at the High Table, eating lunch. They were, it seemed, the only two people in the Great Hall.

Hogwarts was between terms, so it seemed no students were present; and all the other professors were on holiday, were on working holiday, were hiding (Trelawney) or were dead (Snape).

The two wizards at the High Table spoke no words to each other. Flitwick had a book by his plate and was engrossed in reading his book, whilst ignoring Albus Dumbledore completely. Albus Dumbledore was unhappy—so many things were going on with the three Summoned magicals and with Harry Potter that Albus did not know about. These ignorances offended Albus—he was Leader of the Light, and he deserved to know everything about everything!

****

In fact, there were not two magicals in the Great Hall, there were eight magicals there—but six of the eight were undetectable green ghosts who were waiting for Albus and for Professor Flitwick to finish their meals and to leave the Great Hall.

At 2.07pm, both Albus and the Charms professor had left the Great Hall, which was now seemingly empty. Harry de-ghostified Hermione, Other-Hermione, Other-Harry, Other-Dumbledore and Luna.

Next, Hermione pulled a stick of chalk out of her purple beaded handbag.

To perform Boot’s Ritual To Send To A Separate Timeline, the first thing to be done was for someone to draw the eight-foot-diameter chalk circle on the Great Hall floor that would circumscribe the chalk regular heptagon. (Regular heptagon: a polygon with seven equal sides.) Hermione, using her eidetic memory, marked the centre of the new circle to be as close as possible to the centre of the eight-foot-diameter circle that Albus Dumbledore had drawn fifteen days ago. Getting the two circles’ centres to match was important because if the centre of the new circle were, say, a foot to the east of the centre of the old circle, then when the send-back ritual was performed, the sent magicals would arrive in King’s Cross a foot to the east of where they had left. This could cause problems.

After Hermione had located the centre and had drawn an eight-foot circle, the next step was for her to draw an eight-and-a-half-foot circle, using the same new centre, so that the centre would be inside two concentric circles that were three inches apart.

Once these two chalk circles were drawn, then carefully, by taking careful measurements, Hermione drew a regular heptagon with chalk, such that the eight-foot-diameter inner circle would circumscribe this regular heptagon (touch the heptagon at all seven vertices, and nowhere else).

Once Hermione had drawn the regular heptagon and had left the two circles, Other-Hermione took her place. Other-Hermione had taken from her own periwinkle-blue beaded handbag, a second stick of chalk. Between the two outer circles, beginning at the northern side and working clockwise, Other-Hermione now wrote the eighty-three Base-13 numbers that Paracelsus’s Diagnosis spell had found on the inner side of Percival Dumbledore’s breastbone. Within the two circles, the eighty-three numbers were each separated by a two-finger gap.

Meanwhile, Harry called Greyclay, who brought seven white candles that were unlit. Harry placed the seven candles just outside the outer circle, placing the candles close to the regular heptagon’s seven vertices.

Soon Other-Hermione had written the eighty-three numbers between the two circles, had redrawn the lines of the heptagon where her knees had partially erased them, and had stepped out of the heptagon and the two circles.

Now Hermione stepped back inside the heptagon. She drew a one-foot-diameter heptagram in the centre of the two circles and the regular heptagon.

When Hermione finished drawing the heptagram, she stood up and looked about. “Are we ready to perform the ritual?”

Harry replied, “Not yet.” Harry called Greyclay again, to stand guard on the ritual space—making sure nobody broke the chalk lines or moved any candles.

Then Harry said, “Let’s go talk to Albus. We’ve lots of news for him.”

****

Less than a minute later, in the Headmaster’s Office

Albus Dumbledore’s gaze locked on Harry as soon as the six magicals entered the Headmaster’s Office.

“Harry my boy, it is good to see you mobile again. But I am keenly disappointed that you left the castle, where you were safe.”

Harry said, “Old man, ‘safe’ is boring. I wanted some excitement. So the six of us sneaked into Malfoy Manor—can’t get much more ‘exciting’ than there, right? Anyway, we sneaked into Malfoy Manor by a process you don’t need to know, then we killed about fifty Death Eaters.”

Albus Dumbledore’s jaw dropped.

Harry continued, “Other-Hermione killed Voldy’s snake, which was the last horcrux, then I vanquished Voldy. Which I did after all the horcruxes, including the one in my scar, were destroyed.”

“Harry—”

“Voldy isn’t alive and he isn’t a wraith. He’s gone forever, just like my parents. I am avenged.”

“Harry!”

“Lucius Malfoy tried to kill me but then I killed him, so”—Harry showed off the Malfoy Head of House ring. “After we six made a bloodbath, three of us went to the Daily Prophet, where I gave Barnabas Cuffe five feet of parchment about what happened at Malfoy Manor, then each of us three swore on our magic that what was written in the press release was true. Now we six are working on the problem of the ritual that will send our three kidnap-victims home. We’re close to finding the right ritual.”

“HARRY!”

Then Harry let his voice sound angry: “You never told me the Prophecy, you’ve never trained me, and you never took me to Gringotts, who were the ones to remove the horcrux from my scar. You left me as a statue—I’m not a statue because of my ‘twin,’ not because of you. When have you done something truly good for me ever? So why should I stay in your Hogwarts Castle, and be one of your groveling puppets like Remus Lupin and Sirius Black?”

The headmaster’s “disappointed face” was cranked up to 11. “Harry my boy,” he said sadly, “I don’t know where to begin. You took the lives of fifty wayward Purebloods before they could be re—”

“No. I took their lives before many more than fifty Muggles, Muggle-borns and halfbloods could be killed. I killed gleeful killers. Death Eaters, repentant? You’re barmy.”

“You acted rashly. You went after Tom without seeking my wise guidance.”

“Didn’t need it; I had his wise guidance.” Harry chin-pointed to Other-Dumbledore. “Not to mention, advice from my other self, who’s trained for this since age six; from two Hermiones; and from Luna, who sees the future sometimes. I didn’t need to waste time listening to bloviation.”

Other-Dumbledore said, “Local-Harry did not talk to you at all—why? Probably because he was annoyed at you leaving him as a statue.”

“And Longbeard Dumbledore not telling me the Prophecy that is about me,” Harry said.

Percival Dumbledore stared at Albus Dumbledore and said, “But somehow, even without your ‘wise guidance,’ Local-Harry managed to eke out a historic victory over Tom. I know this bothers you something awful—Local-Harry is alive, Local-Tom is dead, and you can take none of the credit.”

Hermione nodded. “Harry and I, whilst we were writing the press release, realised that afterwards, the headmaster would try to take credit—would try to make Harry seem to be a stupid minion who had followed Albus Dumbledore’s clever instructions. So somewhere in the press release is this preventive paragraph: ‘All the credit for vanquishing “Lord” Voldemort goes to us, Harry’s Six, and to Gringotts goblins who excellently performed several services for us under contract. Nobody else helped us, so nobody else may take any credit for the vanquishing of “Lord” Voldemort.’ ”

The headmaster acted as though Hermione had not spoken. He looked at Harry and demanded, “How did you enter Malfoy Manor, without being detected and without being destroyed by the wards?”

Harry grinned. “Magic.”

“Harry, I again am disappointed—”

“I say again: You still have not told me the Prophecy that is about me. Why should I tell you any secret of mine that you would pass on to a Death Eater supposedly-loyal spy?”

Other-Dumbledore said, “That reminds me. Severus Snape is dead, and Tom vanished his body in Malfoy Manor.”

Harry said to the headmaster, “I’ve told you all you deserve to know. Hermione, Luna, let’s go.”

Harry and the aforementioned witches walked towards the door. Also walking towards the door: Other-Harry.

Albus said, “Harry, I have not dismissed you.”

Other-Harry growled menacingly, “I’m not your student.”

Harry added, “I’m not your student either, till 1 September. See you in...”

“Seven weeks,” Hermione prompted.

Albus said, “Harry, as your magical guardian, I must insist—”

Harry stopped, turned, and looked at Albus with theatrical sadness. “But Albus, you’re not my magical guardian. You haven’t been since 24 November 1994, the minute I faced the dragon. But look, you’re old, naturally your memories fail, so don’t feel embarrassed for not remembering this. I just hope word doesn’t get back to the Board of Governors, who then declare you senile and sack you. Ladies?”

Not waiting for Albus Dumbledore to say more (and being unwilling to stop if Albus did), Harry, Hermione, Luna and Other-Harry walked out the door—

—except that halfway down the stairs, Other-Harry seemingly vanished. His vanishing was completely silent.

****

Meanwhile, in the headmaster’s office

Albus’s eyes twinkled as he said in his most grandfatherly voice, “Percival, Other-Timeline Miss Granger, what can I do for you?”

Percival Dumbledore replied, “Our Miss Granger made a suggestion about you. It was a great suggestion.”

Meanwhile, Percival was pulling from his pocket a parchment, which he unrolled. The parchment turned out to be two feet long and had a red ribbon hanging down from the bottom.

It’s some sort of official document, Albus realised. He assumed that Percival had carried this document from his home timeline. But why is Percival only now showing me the document?

Percival said, “Albus Dumbledore, by my authority as the only representative of the Wizarding Britain Ministry of Magic of my timeline who is present in this timeline, I arrest you for three counts of kidnapping and for three counts of unlawful imprisonment. You do not have to say anything. But, it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. Do you understand what I have just said?”

Immediately Percival Dumbledore added, “My Harry and my Miss Granger, I deputise you to assist in the arrest of Albus P Dumbledore of this timeline.”

Albus thought, I guess my twin missed the fact that Other-Timeline Harry walked out. Albus noted that Percival was not holding his own Elder Wand, nor was he reaching for his Elder Wand. The girl was pointing her wand at Albus, but she was no threat to the Defeater of Grindelwald.

Albus slowly moved his hand towards the Elder Wand in his pocket, whilst he said with theatrical sadness, “I am afraid I—”

From behind Albus came hissing.

Albus continued, “—ah-ah, ah, ah—AH, AH, AH-AH AH?”

Behind Albus, the voice of Other-Timeline Harry said, “Accio Albus Dumbledore’s wands.”

Albus’s Elder Wand, Albus’s 1892 Merrick Ollivander backup wand and Albus’s backup-backup wand all flew out of Albus’s pockets and towards the teenaged wizard behind Albus.

“Accio all of Albus Dumbledore’s Portkeys,” Other-Timeline Harry said.

Various threads, buttons and rings left Albus’s beard, hands and robes to fly behind him.

Behind Albus, Other-Timeline Harry hissed twice. The first hissing wrapped Albus in Incarcerous ropes; except that these ropes were orange, not blue. Which meant, Albus could not dispel these ropes even after he got his voice back. Other-Timeline Harry’s second hissing returned the power of speech to Albus—and also to Percival and to Other-Timeline Miss Granger.

Other-Timeline Harry walked round tied-up Albus whilst the boy carried Albus’s wands and Portkeys. Other- Timeline Harry dropped Albus’s magical property into Other-Timeline Miss Granger’s periwinkle-blue beaded handbag.

Albus looked at Other-Timeline Harry and said, in sadness not in anger, “I am so disappointed in you for treating me like a common criminal. I do not deserve this.”

Other- Timeline Harry laughed cruelly. “You kidnapped me across timelines, deliberately and uncaringly, then you planned to leave me here for the rest of my life, separated from Sirius. You’ve well earnt me helping to arrest you.”

Percival said, “Speaking of arresting you, Albus, let me read to you the arrest warrant I wrote, with the help of our Miss Granger. I believe you will find it interesting.”

ACTION: ARREST

I, Percival Dumbledore, am now serving as Chief Warlock for the Wizengamot in my timeline, and I am the only representative of the Wizarding Britain Ministry of Magic of my timeline who is present in this timeline. By such authority, I place under arrest, Albus Dumbledore of this timeline, for three counts of kidnapping and for three counts of unlawful imprisonment.

DISCUSSION

I do not know what is the proper way to name timelines, so I will give the two relevant timelines the following names:

Timeline A is the timeline in which Harry James Potter had been raised from the age of fifteen months till a fortnight ago, with his mother’s nonmagical sister and her husband, Petunia and Vernon Dursley. A P Dumbledore calls himself “Albus,” which is short for “Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore,” although he was not given two of those five names at birth.

Timeline B is the timeline in which Harry James Potter has been raised, beginning at the age of fifteen months, with his oath-sworn godfather, Sirius Orion Black. A P Dumbledore now calls himself “Percival.”

I charge Albus P Dumbledore of Timeline A with transporting from Timeline B, the three magicals Harry James Potter, Hermione Jean Granger and myself, A Percival Dumbledore, to Timeline A by ritual. We three were summoned from Timeline B to Timeline A without our prior knowledge or consent. Once we three arrived in Timeline A, Albus did not immediately return us to Timeline B, he placed conditions on his returning us to Timeline B, and he never divulged details of what ritual he would use to return us to Timeline B after his conditions would be met. The actions of Albus P Dumbledore meet the definitions of “kidnapping” and “unlawful imprisonment.”

(signed) Albus Percival Dumbledore (“Percival”)

Deputised to assist in the arrest of Albus P Dumbledore of Timeline A: Harry James Potter and Hermione Jean Granger, both of Timeline B.

Date in Timeline A: 11 July 1996

Albus did not usually let himself sneer, but he sneered now. “You have not thought this through, have you, Percival? I refuse to perform the ritual that will send you home, especially when it means I will be sending myself with you, under arrest. So you are stuck here. Worse for you, I know of at least two Aurors who, if they saw me tied up with ropes, would arrest you three, regardless of what your beribboned parchment said.”

Other-Timeline Miss Granger huffed. “Headmaster Dumbledore, I can’t believe that this bearded moron shared the same brain as you until fifteen years ago. He’s a fool.”

Albus said, “You soon will regret your childish insults, Muggle-born girl. All three of you soon will regret your treatment of me.”

Then Albus yelled, “Spirit of Hogwarts, I call for you!”

When the Spirit of Hogwarts appeared, Albus said, “Undo the Parseltongue ropes binding me, and forever ban these three from the castle. They have overstayed their welcome.”

“Why are you tied up with ropes?” the Spirit of Hogwarts asked Albus.

Percival answered before Albus did: “I arrested him. There’s the warrant.” Percival pointed to the parchment lying on Albus’s desk.

The Spirit of Hogwarts walked over to the arrest-warrant parchment and read it. Then she turned to Albus—

“You indeed kidnapped them, and he is Chief Warlock where he came from, so the arrest is valid. I declare that you—”

Albus gasped as he lost his connexion to the wards.

“—no longer are headmaster. I assume temporary control of the wards till you leave the castle.”

Then the Spirit of Hogwarts turned to Percival. “What I am about to say is outside my expertise, but it seems to me that if you care for these two teenagers, deputising them is not enough. These two are, I think, on uncertain legal ground—they perhaps could be themselves arrested for unlawful arrest and unlawful imprisonment.”

Percival Dumbledore sighed. “I am aware. The problem is, many Aurors in this timeline’s DMLE are Voldemort sympathisers or are Albus’s minions. So I was planning to skive off the Aurors altogether, handwaving Albus’s arrest and handwaving whom I give the official Request for Extradition to”—Percival Dumbledore pulled another rolled-up parchment from his pocket—“namely, the three Timeline-A teenagers who will be performing Boot’s Ritual. Once the four of us are returned to King’s Cross in our timeline, then I can call for Aurors and can get Albus here properly arrested.”

Other-Timeline Miss Granger asked, “What about Amelia Bones? Susan’s aunt. I bet her local counterpart likewise is law-abiding and honourable.”

Percival Dumbledore nodded. “New plan: I ask Amelia Bones to come here.”

Percival Dumbledore then asked the Spirit of Hogwarts, “Can I give approvals for Aurors to enter the headmaster’s Floo, or do I need you to do this?”

“I will need to give the okay.”

Percival nodded, then he sent a messenger-Patronus to Amelia Bones: “Please come through the Hogwarts Headmaster’s Office Floo, bringing at least one Auror with you—but that Auror cannot be Shacklebolt, Tonks or Dawlish. I need you to perform an arrest and to assist in an extradition.”

****

Amelia startled when a messenger-Patronus, which looked like a phoenix, flew through the wall and into Amelia’s office. The speaker did not give his name, but Amelia recognized his voice—and only one person in Wizarding Britain had a phoenix as his Patronus.

Amelia was surprised that Albus was asking for Aurors, because usually Albus was allergic to involving the DMLE with anything at Hogwarts, even when egregious crimes had been committed there. Amelia also was surprised that Albus said to not bring any of his pet Order of the Phoenix Aurors with her.

Minutes later, Amelia stepped through the Headmaster’s Office Floo, with Master Auror Rufus Scrimgeour and Senior Auror Nigel Grenwick following behind. Immediately Amelia was greeted by Percival Dumbledore, whom she recognised from Malfoy Manor. Amelia figured out that it was he, not Albus, who had sent the phoenix-Patronus.

Other than Amelia and her Aurors, and a marble statue in four-colour robes, four people were in the Headmaster’s Office. Three of the four people were Percival Dumbledore, who looked like Albus Dumbledore if Albus had retired from the British Army; the Harry Potter who was wearing stylish glasses, and who was tall, muscular and dangerous instead of short and thin; and the Hermione Granger whose hair was wavy instead of bushy like Susan often had described.

Besides the aforementioned people, in the Headmaster’s Office was one other person: the long-bearded, pompous windbag whom Amelia had grown up with. He was tied up with orange ropes.

“Why are the ropes orange instead of blue?” Amelia asked.

“Amelia!” yelled the aforementioned long-bearded, pompous windbag. “These children have performed an unlawful arrest and an unlawful imprisonment on me, on the orders of him. I want all three of them arrested and me released!”

Short-haired Dumbledore said, “Where I come from, I am Chief Warlock. So the arrest is legitimate, kidnapper.”

Tall and muscular Harry Potter said, “To answer your question, Madam Bones, I cast Incarcerous in Parseltongue. This A, made the ropes orange, not blue; and B, means that ‘the Leader of the Light’ here can’t vanish the ropes and escape.”

Amelia said, “I need to know what is going on.” She asked Percival Dumbledore, “You arrested our Dumbledore?”

Percival Dumbledore nodded. “The arrest warrant I wrote is on the desk.”

Amelia read the parchment, then asked, “What were the conditions he placed on returning you to your timeline?”

“That our Harry had to kill Voldemort, and we were to make no effort to reverse the spell on your Harry, who was a marble statue at the time.”

“You write in the arrest warrant that Albus did not tell you how he planned to send you home. Maybe because such a discussion was premature?”

“Madam Bones, I was this Albus Dumbledore until November 1981, so I know how he thinks. Believe me when I tell you that if Albus had Summoned only Harry Potter, as he had intended, Albus would never send him home. With three of us here, Albus eventually would send us home—at a time of his choosing to further the Greater Good, not at the time we chose. But it makes no difference when Albus would send us back, or if, because I consider every minute that the three of us are stuck in this timeline to be unlawful imprisonment, because Albus can send us home, but does not send us home.”

Amelia said, “Your Patronus-message to me mentioned an extradition. Am I correct that you meant extradition to the Ministry of Magic in your timeline?”

“Yes, exactly.”

“May I see your Request for Extradition, please?”

Percival Dumbledore pulled a rolled-up parchment from his pocket.

ACTION: REQUEST FOR EXTRADITION

I, Percival Dumbledore, also known as Albus Percival Dumbledore, who is Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot in my timeline, make a request to the magicals of this timeline who are performing Boot’s Ritual To Send To A Separate Timeline, with intent to send myself and two others to our original timeline from this timeline. I request that these magicals who are performing the ritual on us three, further perform the ritual on arrestee Albus Dumbledore at the same time, so that he can be put on trial in our timeline for the crimes of kidnapping and of unlawful imprisonment.

I acknowledge that the magicals who are actually performing Boot’s Ritual To Send To A Separate Timeline have no credentials in law enforcement.

(signed) A Percival Dumbledore

This extradition request made to: Hermione Jean Granger, Luna Selene Lovegood and Harry James Potter

Date: 11 July 1996

Amelia asked, “This ritual to send you three plus Albus to the other timeline, is the ritual ready to go?”

“Impossible,” orange-roped Albus Dumbledore sneered. “I have given them no help at all. So they have no clue how to get home.”

Other-timeline Hermione Granger grinned. “Two words: Boot’s Ritual.”

Percival Dumbledore sneered back at his long-bearded counterpart, then replied to Amelia, “To answer your question, Madam Bones: Yes, indeed, the ritual is ready to go. Local Miss Granger, Local Mr Potter and Miss Lovegood are waiting for us in the Great Hall. The ritual circle has been drawn; the only things left to do are for us and Albus to take our places, then the chanting and wand-waving will begin.”

Amelia looked at the two teenagers from another timeline, who were looking back at her. She asked them, “Do you know how an arrest and extradition normally go? How the process is supposed to work?”

The two teens shook their heads.

“Imagine that a wizard named Pierre commits a crime in Magical France, comes here to Wizarding Britain, and pitches a magical tent in Diagon Alley. The French Aurors know exactly where Pierre is. But the French Aurors aren’t allowed to portkey to Diagon Alley, grab Pierre, and return to Magical France, because French Aurors in Wizarding Britain have no jurisdiction. So what those French Aurors would do is to draw up a French DMLE arrest warrant for Pierre and to present the warrant, also a Request for Extradition, to Wizarding Britain’s DMLE. Then DMLE Aurors would arrest Pierre and would turn him over to the French Aurors, who would take Pierre back to Magical France. I should add that if the law that Pierre broke in Magical France wasn’t recognised in Wizarding Britain, we would refuse to arrest and to extradite—if, say, it were against the law in Wizarding France to mock people who eat snails, and Pierre had mocked snail-eaters.”

“Thank you for explaining,” the other Granger girl said, smiling.

Amelia looked round at everyone besides her in the Headmaster’s Office—Rufus and Nigel, the three other-timeline magicals, tied-up Albus and the marble statue that was wearing four-colour robes. Amelia said, “I think it would be better for you three from the other timeline, and for the three from this timeline who are performing the ritual, if we do this arrest and extradition by the book.”

Then Amelia’s voice turned formal: “Albus Percival Dumbledore of this timeline, you are under arrest for three counts of kidnapping and for three counts of unlawful imprisonment. You do not have to say anything. But, it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. Do you understand what I have just said?”

“Amelia, I see no need—”

“Albus Dumbledore, do you understand what I have just said?”

“Yes, I understand, Amelia,” Albus Dumbledore snarled.

Amelia then said, “Rufus or Nigel, MS-cuff him,” cuff him with magic-suppression handcuffs. “Leave the orange ropes on him; he’s a flight risk. Working round the orange ropes, remove his wands and portkeys, then check again. After all this, we’ll float him downstairs to the Great Hall, where the ritual circle is.”

Tall and muscular Harry Potter said, “We’ve already collected his wands and portkeys. We don’t trust this man.”

Amelia saw Other Hermione Granger nod.

****

Two minutes later, back in the Great Hall

Amelia is deliberately humiliating me, Albus thought.

Harry, Miss Granger and Miss Lovegood looked surprised when they saw Albus tied up and floating, instead of walking. Amelia, Rufus and the other Auror were floating Albus through the Great Hall, whilst the Spirit of Hogwarts followed the DMLE three and the other-timeline three.

Then Albus saw what had been drawn in chalk on the floor of the Great Hall: a regular heptagon, two big circles and eighty-three Base-13 numbers that were written between the two circles.

Shit, Albus thought. They were not joking about knowing Boot’s Ritual. There goes my freedom till who-knows-when.

Amelia said to Percival, “You deputised the two others from your timeline to perform a citizen’s arrest on Albus.”

“I did, yes. I did not see a better alternative at the time.”

Amelia said, “Normally at this point, our Aurors would be handing over the arrestee to the other country’s Aurors. But today we’ll make do with passing him to teenaged deputised Aurors. Rufus, leave the magic-suppression cuffs on the arrestee—I’ll issue you a new set.”

“All this sounds good,” Percival agreed.

Amelia said, “You three from the other timeline, go where you’re supposed to go, then I’ll float the arrestee to you.”

Percival, Other-Timeline Harry and Other-Timeline Miss Granger obediently stepped over the two chalk circles and stepped inside the heptagon, taking care to avoid stepping on the heptagram in the centre.

Just before Amelia floated Albus inside the heptagon, she leant forwards and murmured to him, “Over the years, I’ve amassed tonnes of evidence proving that you’ve committed many, many crimes. So why have I never brought you to trial? Because the sad fact is, the Wizengamot of our timeline would never convict you. But where you’re going, I figure Percival Dumbledore’s Wizengamot will vote solid red”—will vote to convict by a wide margin—“at your trial. I’m sure the seat-holders will be likewise feisty when they vote on your sentence. Goodbye, Albus.”

After tied-up Albus had been floated inside the heptagon and had been set down, Amelia said formally, “I as Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement permit you to begin the ritual.”

Harry said, “Before we begin it, I want to say something.” He glared at tied-up Albus. “I hope you spend all of the rest of your life in Timeline-B Azkaban. I hope that’s where you die. But don’t worry about the Dementors—they won’t affect someone who clearly never regrets anything he does.”

Then Harry looked at Miss Granger and at Miss Lovegood. “Let’s do this.”

****

Hermione pointed out to Harry and to Luna, “Sometime between the last time we saw them and now, those three from the other timeline went back to wearing the clothes they arrived in. Percival Dumbledore’s hair and beard is trimmed short again. All this cuts down the questioning they’ll get when they return to the same second they left.”

Inside the heptagon, Other-Hermione looked across the chalk lines at Harry and at the other two ritualists, at the three Aurors and at the Spirit of Hogwarts. “We inside the ritual area are ready to go.”

Then Other-Hermione added, “To remind everyone: When we return to our timeline, it shan’t be today, 11 July. We shall return to the day we left, 26 June, one-tiny-second after we left. Any earlier, and our arrival might cause some sort of epic magical disaster. Any later, and a new timeline might form between the time we left and the time we arrived, because onlookers will notice that we briefly have disappeared.”

Hermione nodded. “We outside the ritual area are ready to go. Let us begin. Each person except Albus, both inside and outside the heptagon, point your wand at the heptagram in the centre of the heptagon.”

Thus was magical energy pushed at the heptagram by powerful Harry, powerful Hermione, Luna, Madam Bones and two Aurors outside the heptagon; and by Other-Harry, Other-Hermione and Other-Dumbledore inside the heptagon.

Whilst nine magicals were shoving magic into the heptagram, magical words were spoken—

The Latin incantation spoken by Hermione was: “Magnam iniuriam corrigere, et iustitiam raptori afferre, invocamus Ritum Booti ad separatum Timelineum mittendum, quattuor has mitto ad certum tempus et locum, ad certum Timelineum.” (To right a great wrong, and to bring justice to a kidnapper, we invoke Boot's Ritual To Send To A Separate Timeline, to send these four to the specified time and place, for the specified timeline.)

Hermione then switched ritual languages; she spoke memorised words in the McNulty language for about two minutes. If Harry had to guess, Hermione was telling Magic exactly how to convert those eighty-three Base-13 numbers into directions how to get the people who were inside the heptagon to Platform 9¾ in the other timeline.

Hermione finished the spoken part of the ritual with one word of Latin: “Incipe!” Begin!

****

To Harry, it looked like the four magicals inside the heptagon puffed up and whitened into four white clouds, all seemingly behind seven glass walls. Then the four clouds merged into one big cloud, behind seven glass walls. This one cloud began to spin—faster and faster till the white cloud was moving at tornado speed for two seconds. Then the cloud’s spinning quickly slowed. When the cloud was again motionless, whilst seemingly behind seven glass walls, the cloud faded away to nothing.

Where Other-Dumbledore, Other-Harry and Other-Hermione had stood, and where tied-up Albus Dumbledore had lain, now was empty space.

****

The Spirit of Hogwarts confirmed this: “The four of them are gone. Now I shall shift control of the castle wards to Minerva McGonagall.” The Spirit of Hogwarts flickered bright for an instant.

****

About four and a half hours later, 7.01pm
Offices of the Daily Prophet, one minute after reporters’ deadline

Editor-in-chief Barnabas Cuffe walked out of his office whilst holding a clipboard. He walked straight to the darkroom, pounded on the door and yelled, “BOZO! EMPLOYEE MEETING IN THE NEWSROOM!”

Then Cuffe walked into the newsroom and stood there. Most of his reporters were smiling and relaxed—they had dropped their stories into the Editor’s Inbox by deadline—but Rita Skeeter still was writing on her three-foot-long parchment.

Cuffe frowned. The 7.00pm deadline was not a suggestion, but Rita often treated it like it was.

Twenty seconds after Cuffe had pounded on the door of the darkroom, Bozo Snapper rushed into the newsroom. He dropped a handful of photographs into the Editor’s Inbox, walked over to Rita’s desk, then turned to look attentively at Cuffe.

Cuffe looked round at his reporters and at Bozo. “Earlier today, Harry Potter came into our offices and handed me an extraordinary press release that told about him killing Voldemort. The events in that press release will amaze you when you read tomorrow’s newspaper. But Potter did something else extraordinary today: He and two witch friends stood in this newsroom and they each swore on their magic that what was written in that press release was true. Tomorrow morning’s front page will not only have the full text of Potter’s press release, but also the full text of each of the three magical oaths.

“Those three oaths are written down on this clipboard. I ask that each of you read the transcribed oaths, confirm for yourself that what I’ve written is the same as the oaths you heard spoken, then sign your name under mine. Your names will go under the written oaths on the front page, as witnesses.”

Cuffe walked over to the desk of Max Spellman, the Advanced Magic reporter. Seconds later, Spellman signed his name. Cuffe then carried the clipboard to the desk that was to the left of Spellman’s desk, and asked Colleen O’Rourke, the Pureblood Society reporter, to sign the clipboard’s parchment.

Over the next few minutes, Cuffe hit all the desks in a clockwise direction, till only Rita Skeeter and Bozo Snapper had not been handed the clipboard.

When Cuffe laid the clipboard on Rita’s desk, she said, “You’ve seven signatures already; you don’t need mine or Bozo’s. I’m not going to sign this, and you can’t make me.”

****

Colleen O’Rourke said, “Rita dear, you’re talking like an idiot.”

Rita replied, whilst glaring at everyone in the newsroom except Bozo, “You lot are so gullible! Aren’t you the least bit suspicious that Potter and his friends supposedly killed everyone without being injured themselves, and killed You-Know-Who, and conveniently vanished the body, so that we can’t see dead You-Know-Who for ourselves? NO, Potter has tricked you all!”

“How ‘tricked’?” Cuffe demanded to know. “All three kids said ‘I swear on my magic’ and ‘so mote it be,’ and three times the result was the oath-accepted flash of light. Explain that.”

Rita said, in her repeating-a juicy-rumour tone of voice, “There is at least one person, Albus Dumbledore, who knows how to do a wordless Lumos, followed immediately by a wordless Nox, so that his wand flashes, but only for a second, without him saying the words Lumos-Nox. So Dumbledore can speak an oath that isn’t true, then he pulls his trick to make everyone who sees and hears him think Magic has accepted his oath.”

Cuffe said, “How odd. What I keep hearing is that Dumbledore always refuses to make oaths on his magic—these refusals usually happening when he is abusing the truth, then someone says ‘Swear on your magic that what you just said is true.’ ”

Max Spellman said, “I know how to cast a wordless Lumos. But the only way you can get me to perform Dumbledore’s supposed trick—not that I’m calling Rita a liar, you understand—is if I don’t say ‘I swear on my magic’ and ‘so mote it be.’ Let me show you.”

Spellman drew his wand, pointed it straight up and said, “I was born in Bora Bora, then I grew up in Walla Walla and New York, New York, where I met King Kamehameha.” His wand flashed brightly for a second, as though his ridiculous statement were true.

Wynter Churchill, the Politics reporter, added to Spellman’s statement: “When you say ‘I swear on my magic,’ blah-blah, ‘so mote it be,’ Magic reads your mind.

“If you make a pledge to do something and you intend to do it, or you make a statement and the statement is true, light flashes. You didn’t make the light flash, Magic did. But if you supposedly pledge on your magic something that you don’t intend to do, or if you make a statement on your magic that isn’t completely true, even if you don’t know this, then you turn black for an instant and you lose your magic. If you lose your magic and you’re old enough, you die then and there.

“When you swear on your magic, those are the only two results—light flashes or else you become a Muggle, maybe a dead Muggle. There is no third result in which Magic ignores something that you swore ‘on my magic’ so that you can say something you know isn’t true, then you fool everyone with a wordless Lumox/Nox.”

Cuffe summarised Churchill’s point: “Neither Dumbledore, nor any other magical, can speak a lying oath and fake that oath being accepted by Magic.”

Rita still looked mulish. Colleen O’Rourke said, “If Potter’s girlfriend Granger were here, she could explain all this to Rita much better than any of us can.”

Rita scowled, hearing Granger be praised. Then Rita said, “Potter claims he just strolled up to You-Know-Who and killed him, without even getting hurt himself. How? I can’t imagine how he could do that, not at all.”

It was Bozo Snapper who replied: “Rita, I don’t know either, how Potter killed You-Know-Who, and I can’t begin to guess. But don’t you see, if I could guess how Potter could do it, then You-Know-Who also could guess how Potter could kill him, and You-Know-Who would have taken steps ahead of time to prevent that.”

Cuffe said, “The press release says they didn’t cast Unforgivables and they didn’t use Muggle weapons.”

“Good enough for me,” Snapper said. He walked over to where the clipboard was. Bozo Snapper signed his name.

“BOZO, NO!” Rita yelled.

Snapper looked at Rita. “Potter isn’t a liar, Rita. He isn’t a nobbler,” fraudster. “He’s a hero. It’s obvious.”

Cuffe picked up the clipboard, which was on a corner of Rita’s desk, and placed the clipboard directly in front of Skeeter. “You’re the only one who hasn’t signed.”

Rita leant back in her chair, away from the clipboard, and crossed her arms. “I refuse to sign.”

Spellman snarled, “You’re full of shit, Skeeter. It’s obvious, you plan to write more lies about Potter, even after what he did!”

“It’s Potter who’s the liar, Maxwell.”

“No. Potter came in here and gave an oath on his magic, and his friends gave oaths on their magic, just because of you! So you wouldn’t call him a liar, like you did after the Third Task. But three oaths on their magic aren’t good enough for you, are they? Because you don’t want to give up your bonuses, which you would have to do if you can’t bin-talk Potter to sell extra papers.”

Cuffe said to Rita, “One last time: You refuse to sign your name that you witnessed Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood each give a magical oath and the oath be accepted?”

Rita sniffed. “You lot believe anything you’re told. I do not.”

“Stay there,” Cuffe commanded. “Don’t leave your desk.”

Cuffe rushed back to his office, then walked back to Rita’s desk whilst carrying a book. Whether Rita recognised the book or not, she could tell that the colour of the cover meant the book was not The Daily Prophet Manual of Style. Cuffe set the book on a corner of Rita’s desk.

Cuffe pointed to the three-foot-long parchment that still was on Rita’s desk. “It’s past deadline, Rita. Give me what you’ve written so far.”

Rita looked offended. “I still have two sentences to go. And they will be glorious sentences, I guarantee it.”

“Doesn’t matter. Give me your parchment.”

Rita snatched the parchment off her desk and shoved it at Cuffe.

Rita’s parchment was a pre-trimmed three feet long, with the bottom quarter-foot still blank. Cuffe folded the parchment into thirds that were each one foot high.

But instead of Cuffe carrying Rita’s parchment to the Editor’s Inbox, he—RRIPP—tore the parchment in half lengthwise, then tossed the two pieces into the nearest bin.

Cuffe heard the other reporters gasp. Rita herself looked shocked.

Cuffe said to her, “You’re sacked, Rita, and ineligible for rehire. Gather your things; I’m escorting you to the outer doors now.”

As Rita was cleaning out her desk, Cuffe raised a hand. “The Prophet, not you, owns that Quick-Quotes Quill; you’re not taking it home. Speaking of which...”

Cuffe grabbed the long, lime-green quill and snapped it in half; the Quick-Quotes Quill likewise was tossed in the bin.

Colleen O’Rourke murmured, “It’s the end of an era.”

Minutes later, Cuffe (who was holding his book again) and Rita walked through the outer doors. Cuffe opened the book to a bookmarked page. On both facing pages, Daily Prophet employees were listed. Cuffe pulled a self-inking quill from his pocket and lined through “Rita Skeeter/Bertha Rita Mouse.”

The book was the Daily Prophet Ward Ledger, and now Rita would hurt if she tried to enter the building.

Cuffe said to Rita, “Just so you know, the wards here include anti-animagus wards. Whilst you were employed here, this fact didn’t matter—now it matters a lot, to you. If you try to fly in, or try to enter the building whilst nestled in someone’s hair, you’ll wind up in Saint Mungo’s, if you survive. Goodbye, Rita.”

Cuffe did not tell Rita that her sacking would be on the front page of tomorrow’s Prophet. True, Rita would rate only one column inch—but one last time, Rita Skeeter’s name would be on the front page.

****

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I have been planning Albus Dumbledore’s “karma” since Chapter 1. By the time I started to write Chapter 15, I had entire scenes in my notes in which Percival Dumbledore killed Albus, or Other-Harry pulled his silently-Apparate-behind-someone-and-surprise-him trick and Other-Harry killed Albus, or all three Summoned magicals killed Albus in the headmaster’s office. FFN reader alix33 would love reading any of those scenes, believe me.

But one thing left me dissatisfied in all my imaginings. Even if I plotted events so that local-timeline Harry and Hermione were entirely uninvolved with Albus’s gory murder, it would be those two plus Luna who would be the ones to send Percival, Other-Harry and Other-Hermione back to their home timeline—at which time, these three Timeline-A teenagers would be helping the Timeline-B murderer(s) to evade arrest, which would be itself a crime. The result: Harry, Hermione and Luna would be sent to Azkaban for years.

Anyway, I had been planning to kill off Albus Dumbledore since Chapter 1. But then, almost at the last minute, I thought up the idea of Percival Dumbledore arresting Albus and requesting Albus’s extradition. By Percival doing this, it becomes legal for Harry, Hermione and Luna to send the Summoned three back to their home timeline, and it also becomes legal for Harry, Hermione and Luna to karma-ise Albus by sending tied-up Albus to Percival’s timeline to stand trial.

Albus’s arrest and trial is not as satisfying as bloodthirsty readers want (and as I the bloodthirsty author want), because Albus shall not die after he gets his trial. On the other hand, Albus shall be getting a trial, then he’ll get imprisonment, and Harry shall get neither, which satisfies me much.

All this is a long-winded way of explaining why you did not read a scene in the Headmaster’s Office in which Hermione, who knows nasty spells (see Chapter 1), has taught Other-Hermione those spells, then Other-Hermione successfully casts one of those nasty and deadly spells on Albus Dumbledore whilst Percival Dumbledore’s and Other-Harry’s own disgusting and deadly spells strike Albus, so that blood and screaming fill the room, and a long-bearded corpse drops to the floor with a splat.

Chapter Text

Fifteen days earlier, in Timeline B
Friday, 26 June 1996, 7.27pm
King’s Cross Station, Platform 9¾
The Hogwarts Express has not yet arrived

Sirius Black watched in puzzlement as Percival Dumbledore cast Homenum Revelio again and again, as though the headmaster were expecting hordes of invisible Death Eaters to be lurking on the train platform.

Percival found no Death Eaters, even after eleven spellcastings, but he did not relax.

Soon afterwards, the Hogwarts Express eased its way beside the platform, then stopped. Hundreds of students rushed out of the train’s carriages.

By then, Sirius had noticed several strange things.

First, a white cloud had formed by the edge of the platform where the train was—but this cloud was not thousands of feet or hundreds of feet above the ground, this cloud was only twenty feet above the concrete.

Second, the white cloud was tiny—only eight feet in diameter.

Third, the cloud was tall for its size: more than ten feet tall.

Soon Sirius’s godson Harry, Harry’s girlfriend Hermione and their best friend Neville Longbottom all stepped through a door at the end of their carriage, down the steps and off the train—which put them directly under the cloud. This was when things got especially strange—

Hermione and Neville were conversing and so were walking a bit slowly, away from the train. Harry said something over his shoulder to Hermione, who nodded, then Harry began striding straight towards Sirius.

The little white cloud began to move, so that it stayed directly above Harry whilst he quickly walked. The cloud also began to spin, whilst it dropped.

Percival yelled, “Someone is Summoning Harry!”

Percival rushed towards Harry.

Hermione, after hearing Percival’s words, snapped her head up, saw the spinning cloud, then made her own dash towards Harry; she took no time to apologise to Neville.

Percival barely had time to slap a hand down on Harry’s left shoulder, whilst Hermione barely managed to loop her left arm round Harry’s right arm. Less than a second later, the spinning cloud dropped to the concrete, hiding all three magicals from Sirius’s view.

“What the bloody hell?” Neville said.

For one second, the whirling white cloud hid Harry, Hermione and Percival from Sirius’s view. But even as the cloud was hiding the three from view, the whirling cloud quickly braked itself to a stop. Once stopped, the white cloud dissipated.

Sirius saw that Harry, Hermione and Percival still were there on Platform 9¾, apparently unharmed. But lying at their feet, tied up with orange ropes and with his magic bound by magic-suppression handcuffs, was a second Percival Dumbledore. This second Dumbledore looked like Percival had looked in 1981—long hair, long beard and ridiculous-coloured robes—but was a bit older than Percival had been in 1981.

“What the bloody hell?” Neville repeated.

Meanwhile, short-haired, short-bearded Percival was pulling a rolled-up parchment from his pocket whilst he yelled, “AURORS! AURORS! I NEED AURORS HERE!”

Now Sirius noticed that Percival, Harry and Hermione each had a black B on his/her left wrist. Why had they gotten those marks at school?

Sirius stepped closer to the strange group and asked, “Percival, what the bloody hell? Harry, why the Parseltongue ropes besides the handcuffs?

Harry looked at Sirius and said, “Padfoot, for us three, it’s been a quite strange fifteen days.”

The duplicate Percival, it seemed, was surprised to see Sirius. Then the long-bearded wizard wiped the surprise off his face—even whilst he was surrounded by Aurors who were pointing their blue wands at him. The long-bearded wizard said, “Sirius my boy, trust me, this is all a big misunderstanding.”

“Ri-i-ight,” said Harry. “Sirius, before you get taken in by a sad tale of woe, know that this version of Albus Percival Dumbledore let you stay in Azkaban till 1993, when you broke out. Other-you died earlier this month in the timeline we just left, still a criminal in the eyes of the law, because Longbeard here never brought other-you to trial!”

Whilst short-haired Percival was explaining to the Aurors about his “arrest warrant,” Harry and Hermione each were fiercely hugging Sirius, as though they each had believed they never would see him again.

Harry’s and Hermione’s odd friend Luna Lovegood left the train and walked over. She said to the bearded Percival, “Your head is filled solid with wrackspurts. You think you are wise, but you are quite the opposite.”

****

Seven days later in Timeline B: Friday, 3 July
Courtroom Ten, the Ministry of Magic

Albus Dumbledore of Timeline A was being put on trial for three counts of kidnapping and for three counts of unlawful imprisonment. Albus was maintaining his kindly-grandfather facade at his trial, but keeping the facade intact was harder than usual, because Albus was so frustrated.

****

Part of Albus’s plan that he had made for Summoning without permission, a Harry Potter from another timeline to Albus’s timeline, was what Albus would do if the Summoned Harry Potter acted balky and rebellious—

Albus’s plan was that he would remind the new Harry that it would not take much for this imported Harry Potter to be arrested by Aurors on some pretext of Albus’s. And then?

When it came time for Summoned-Harry’s trial, the boy would literally have no friends in court. The seat-holders would have names that this Harry knew, and faces, and voices, but to them, Summoned Harry would be a stranger. To nobody there would Summoned Harry be a friend, whereas many seat-holders would believe that Albus was their friend, so the vote on Summoned Harry’s guilt/innocence would go the way Albus would want, not the way Summoned Harry would want.

It had been a genius part of Albus’s plan. If Summoned Harry would get loud and would refuse to cooperate, Albus would not even need to use the Confundus Charm on the new Harry—all Albus would need to do would be to look disappointed and to ask, “Do I need to Floo-call Amelia at the DMLE to send Aurors here?” Boom, instant obedience.

****

But now in this Timeline-B courtroom, Albus was suffering the flip side of his plan for other-timeline Harry Potter. To these Timeline-B people, Albus was not “the Defeater of Grindelwald” and he was not “the headmaster of Hogwarts”—instead, he was the hooligan who had wronged their Defeater of Grindelwald and their headmaster of Hogwarts, as well as their fifteen-year-old “Defeater of Voldemort” and their young hero’s girlfriend.

The only thing that had gone right for Albus at his trial, so far, was that Percival Dumbledore was recused as Chief Warlock, with other-timeline Cyrus Greengrass assuming the Chief Warlock role for Albus’s trial. Albus had not even needed to demand this recusal; Percival Dumbledore had volunteered to temporarily remove himself as Chief Warlock.

(Had their situations been reversed, Albus would have vacated the Chief Warlock seat during Percival’s trial only if a motion to temporarily remove Albus had been made, the motion had been voted on and the vote had gone against him.)

Whilst Albus had been woolgathering, his trial had continued on.

Other-timeline Frank Longbottom was recognised and said, “Acting Chief Warlock Greengrass, I have become annoyed, then more annoyed, listening to the accused talk and talk, saying many pretty words that never answer our questions. What is ‘the Greater Good’? I’ve yet to hear the accused define this term. Meanwhile, Court Reporter Weasley must have filled ten feet of parchment since 9am. I move that we dose the accused with Veritaserum so we can finally get some straight, brief truth out of him!”

Albus replied, “Unless your Wizengamot has changed the rule, Purebloods can be given Veritaserum only with their consent, and I refuse consent.”

Acting Chief Warlock Greengrass looked at Albus like he were a dead flobberworm. “In this timeline,” Greengrass said, sounding annoyed, “the Wizengamot struck down that law in 1983. Also, don’t I recall that both Percival Dumbledore and you had a Muggle-born mother?”

Percival Dumbledore replied before Albus did: “Indeed so,” he said, whilst he smiled smugly at Albus. “Our mother’s name was Kendra. The defendant and I both are halfbloods, not Purebloods.” Percival shrugged.

Other-timeline Cyrus Greengrass was scowling when he ordered, “Senior Auror Grenwick, give the accused three drops of Veritaserum.”

Albus, for all that he was magically powerful, was an old man, and his muscles could not stop the Auror from three-dropsing him. Before the questioning even got to the juicy parts, truth-telling Albus admitted that Wulfric and Brian were names he had added to his true name when he had been nineteen years old.

Albus’s Veritaserum questioning took most of an hour. Albus was asked many questions about Timeline-A Harry Potter. Had Albus not refused a public defender, those questions would have been thrown out. Instead, Albus answered all the Harry Potter questions truthfully and completely—

****

Q: “What were your plans for your Harry Potter?”

A: “Whilst the Prophecy is in effect, only Harry can defeat Tom, but the Prophecy does not guarantee that in a battle to the death, Harry will win. My plan was to sabotage Harry so that Harry would die, the Prophecy would be fulfilled, then I could battle Tom and win. After defeating first Dark Lord Gellert, then Dark Lord Tom, I would be famous for centuries.”

Q: “So you did not want the Prophecy to end with Voldemort dead, as everyone would expect; you wanted the Prophecy to end with Voldemort alive and Harry dead?”

A: “Yes.”

Q: “So why, when your Harry was turned into a statue and was helpless, did you bring in a Harry Potter from another timeline to kill Voldemort in place of your Harry?”

A: “I waited a full week to perform the ritual. I hoped that during that week, Tom would sneak into Hogwarts—he has done it before—and would blow up statue-Harry. Alas, Tom failed me. Meanwhile, Minerva and others were demanding to know, ‘How long are you going to let Harry Potter be a statue instead of restoring him to life?’ ”

Q: “Once you Summoned Dumbledore, Potter and Granger from our timeline to your timeline, you ordered our Harry Potter to kill Voldemort but to not try to revive your timeline’s Harry Potter. Why did you forbid our Harry from making your Harry Potter not stay a stone statue?”

A: “I still was hoping that Tom would sneak into Hogwarts and would destroy statue-Harry, which would fulfill the Prophecy in the process.”

Q: “What was your reaction when you learnt that our Harry had revived your Harry?”

A: “I was angry that your Harry disobeyed me. I am older and wiser than he, by almost a century.”

****

Albus was sentenced to Timeline-B Azkaban for twenty-four years, in the maximum-security wing. Horrified Albus knew that with him imprisoned in the maximum-security wing, he would not live twenty-four more years. Dementors would be Albus’s constant companions for the rest of his shortened life, beginning a few hours from now.

****

Back in Timeline A
Saturday, 11 July, evening
About the same time that Rita Skeeter gets the sack
The dining room of the Granger house
Crawley, West Sussex

The three Grangers, and Harry, were feasting on takeaway Italian food: lasagna, calzone, spaghetti, breadsticks, salad and a pepperoni/mushroom pizza.

Hermione, to her parents’ surprise, had the money to pay for all this food, and had insisted that she, not her father or Harry, pay for the food.

****

At dinner, Harry and Hermione, with brutal honesty, told the Granger parents how they had spent the past twenty-three days—beginning with the Battle of the Department of Mysteries.

Harry told how he had been lured into the battle because he had been a frightened fool—but Hermione had gone with him anyway, along with four other Hogwarts students.

During the battle, Harry had seen Hermione almost be killed by Antonin Dolohov, and had seen Bellatrix Lestrange push Harry’s godfather, Sirius Black, into the Veil of Death; Harry had seen Sirius die.

Dan and Emma looked horrified.

The teens told of the battle in the Ministry Atrium, of Harry being turned into a marble statue by Voldemort (and by Luna), then Hermione feeling murderous rage towards Voldemort and towards Bellatrix. Hermione described her satisfaction at killing Sirius’s killer.

Dan and Emma looked worried.

One week later, Hermione, by then much healed but not completely healed, had been told by the headmaster that she was needed at Hogwarts for something important, so was not allowed to board the Hogwarts Express. The headmaster had told quite-annoyed Hermione nothing about what the “important” thing would be.

Hermione briefly described the Summoning Ritual; then she described what it had been like to meet a good Headmaster Dumbledore; also someone who is you, but not you; and a boy who is your best friend, but not quite. And oh, by the by—

Other-Harry and Other-Hermione not only had been dating, they had become lovers. Hermione said, “Mum, Dad, I need to be honest: I liked the idea of that, lots.”

Dan and Emma looked conflicted, hearing this.

With help from Slytherin’s Library and from Other-Harry, and with no help from this timeline’s headmaster, Harry had been destatuefied.

Harry told about his shock from “instantly” going from the Ministry Atrium to the Hogwarts hospital wing, one week later.

Seconds after Harry had been destatuefied, Hermione had kissed Harry passionately on the lips, which had been how he and Hermione had become boyfriend/girlfriend—but not (yet) lovers.

Dan and Emma seemed to have mixed feelings about hearing this news.

The two magical teenagers told the Granger parents about researching, planning and training for the attack on Voldemort. Included in this was a trip to Slytherin’s Library (Hermione’s second, Harry’s first). Of course, Hermione had been more excited about Slytherin’s Library than Harry had been, even though Harry and Other-Harry had been the only magicals in the group who could use the Library effectively.

Harry and Hermione deliberately did not say much about the actual Malfoy Manor attack that Harry’s Six had carried out. Hermione mentioned that a big part of Voldemort’s defeat was that not only had Harry outmagicked Voldemort, but Harry also had psyched Voldemort out (had messed with Voldemort’s head).

The results of the Malfoy Manor battle? A big snake had died, fifty Death Eaters had died and Voldemort had died. Harry and Hermione did not give details. Peter Pettigrew and Antonin Dolohov were mentioned only briefly. That Hermione, Harry and Luna had become killers, all three, likewise was skimmed over.

After the slaughter in Malfoy Manor, Harry’s Six had gone to Hogwarts. Soon afterwards, Percival Dumbledore had ordered that Albus Dumbledore be arrested. Percival-deputised Other-Harry and Other-Hermione had performed the arrest, then this timeline’s Amelia Bones and two Aurors had arrived and had rearrested Albus Dumbledore.

Soon afterwards, Harry, Hermione and Luna had sent to the other timeline by ritual, the three other-timeline magicals plus tied-up Albus Dumbledore.

Harry, Hermione and Luna had stopped by the Daily Prophet offices to drop off a press release they just had written; each of the three had sworn on his/her magic that every word in the press release was true.

After the trio’s trip to the Daily Prophet offices, Harry and Hermione had visited Gringotts, where Hermione had taken a tiny part of Bellatrix’s galleons (which altogether were worth £390 467.01) and had converted the removed galleons to sterling, with which to buy takeaway Italian food.

Hermione finished her and Harry’s tale with “...So beginning today, Voldemort is gone and Dumbledore is gone. Harry now can live an undangerous life. Which to me, calls for lasagna.”

****

The Granger parents had questions and comments—but curiously, had nothing to say in front of Harry about their daughter’s romantic life.

Dan Granger said, “I’m confused, Princess. I thought you liked the headmaster, for the most part. Didn’t you ask the mind-reading hat to put you into Gryffindor because it was the House that Dumbledore had been Sorted into, as a boy? So why are you now saying, ‘Hurray, Dumbledore was arrested’?”

Hermione replied, “We found out from Percival Dumbledore that Albus Dumbledore has been plotting, from before Harry even was born, to get Harry killed by Voldemort.”

Dan and Emma exchanged looks. Dan said, “That’s quite an accusation to make. I’m not sure I believe it.”

Harry quoted the Prophecy, then explained it: “The Prophecy said that only I could ‘vanquish’ Voldemort, but I wasn’t guaranteed to win. Voldemort could kill me. Dumbledore’s plan was to sabotage me every way possible so that I, not Voldemort, would die and the Prophecy would be fulfilled with my death. Then Dumbledore would fight Voldemort, would win, and would become famous for centuries.”

Hermione explained, “The Dumbledores fought and defeated the Dark Lord Grindelwald in the Forties. If Albus Dumbledore would also defeat the Dark Lord Voldemort, then Dumbledore would be considered the second Merlin. But to do this, Dumbledore would first need to backstab the wizard boy whom the Prophecy said was supposed to defeat Voldemort.”

Harry added, “When I were dead and Dumbledore battled Voldemort to the death, Dumbledore expected to win. He made his plans accordingly.” Harry shrugged.

Emma said, “Hermione, Harry, you’re saying that Headmaster Dumbledore has plotted against Harry for Harry’s entire life, just to be famous? And all because of a prophecy?” Emma did not say Your theory is ridiculous, but clearly she thought it.

Harry said, “The thing to understand about Albus Dumbledore is that he craves attention. His beard goes down to his belt, as does his hair. He wears robes in eyeball-stomping colours, with silly designs on them. He talks to everyone like he’s a grandfather in a cinema film. In the Great Hall, whenever they’re serving meals, he always comes ten minutes late, so everyone in the room notices when he sits down on his golden throne. So if somehow he could become as famous as Merlin, as King Arthur and as Robin Hood, but in order to achieve such fame, he would have to set me up to die? Yes, he would do that, in a heartbeat.”

Hermione said, “As for the Prophecy, it was real, and now it’s completed. How else to explain that a teenaged wizard”—Hermione gestured towards Harry—“killed the Dark Lord who had people so scared, almost nobody would say his name?”

Dan said, “Let’s go back to what you said earlier: Voldemort is dead and the headmaster is gone. How can you be sure? Voldemort was resurrected once; how can you be sure he won’t be resurrected again? As for the old man, what’s to stop him from being acquitted, or escaping, or coming back here after he serves his sentence?”

Harry said, “Voldemort? I killed him, then I vanished all the parts of him. There is not one molecule of him that any Death Eater can build another resurrection from. We destroyed all the horcruxes, so Voldy isn’t a wraith this time.”

Hermione replied, “Why are we sure the headmaster won’t return? Percival Dumbledore told us that his Wizengamot isn’t corrupt, Albus Dumbledore doesn’t have any money in that timeline for bribes, and Albus Dumbledore doesn’t have any friends in that timeline. Albus Dumbledore won’t be acquitted. Escape? Not without help, and he has no friends in the other timeline to help him escape. By the time Albus Dumbledore serves his sentence, if he figures out how to come back here, Harry will be an adult and will no longer be a Hogwarts student, so Harry can tell Albus Dumbledore to go fly a kite.”

Harry said, “Except I’d use much stronger language.”

****

Now Hermione fidgeted. Dan, with a raised eyebrow, looked at his daughter. “Princess?”

Still fidgeting, Hermione said, “Now that Voldemort won’t be causing problems for Harry anymore, and the headmaster won’t bother Harry anymore, you should know that there were many times that Harry almost was killed at Hogwarts. Many of those times, I was near him. Four times between me boarding the firstie train and now, I almost was killed. I think you deserve the full truth. So belatedly, now I’ll tell you everything that happened to me at Hogwarts.”

Emma gave her daughter a long look, then she asked, “Why didn’t you tell us before?”

“Because then you’d pull me out of Hogwarts! You’d send me to Saint George’s Anglican Academy or to Beauxbatons—and Harry can’t go to Beauxbatons because he doesn’t speak French.”

****

Harry and Hermione told Dan and Emma the unredacted version of their Hogwarts years, starting with the giant three-headed dog, and soon afterwards, the attack on Hermione in the lavatory by the mountain troll. At times, the parents looked like they wanted to vomit, or cry, or kick something.

(When Hermione told about the day she punched Draco Malfoy in the nose, her parents laughed.)

It was about 10.30pm when Dan and Emma looked at each other and nodded. Dan said, “Princess, we won’t withdraw you from Hogwarts unless you ask us to.”

Hermione shrieked, jumped up, ran round the table and hugged her father and mother.

Then smiling Dan said to Harry, “You have our blessing to date our daughter; your character is solid gold. But please, if you start to,” Dan paused, “shag our daughter, don’t rub our noses in it.”

“When, Daddy,” said Hermione. “When Harry shags your quite-willing daughter, not if.”

****

The next morning (Sunday, 12 July)

This morning’s Daily Prophet was delivered to subscribers throughout Wizarding Britain. Everyone who read the Prophet’s front page was shocked by what the Prophet reported (in 72-point headlines)—

In Malfoy Manor, Harry Potter, two teenaged witches and three unnamed, undescribed other magical people had killed a giant snake and fifty Death Eaters. Harry Potter himself had killed Voldemort in Malfoy Manor, and had vanished You-Know-Who’s body completely. Also, Harry Potter now was Lord Malfoy, by Right of Conquest.

All these unbelievable claims were believable because Harry Potter and the two teenaged witches each had stood in the Daily Prophet offices and had given an oath on his/her magic, with Daily Prophet employees as witnesses.

Amidst the Daily Prophet write-up of Harry’s press release was a photo of Harry, Hermione and Luna that had been taken in Cuffe’s office by the Daily Prophet staff photographer. The “Muggle-born 1” text on Hermione’s shirt was easily read.

Also yesterday: Albus Dumbledore had been arrested and had been extradited to another timeline. In an unrelated story, Rita Skeeter had been sacked.

Beginning on Page 2, the Daily Prophet reported what was known, and what previously had been “known” incorrectly, about Tom Marvolo Riddle, about Peter Pettigrew and about Lucius Malfoy.

Most magicals were amazed and overjoyed, reading about what “Harry’s Six” had achieved. Some magicals, however, were displeased by the news—and three of the displeased magicals, all three of them redheaded, had no blood-ties or business-ties to Death Eaters.

****

This morning’s Daily Prophet reported that Lucius Malfoy definitely had been a Death Eater, and now was a dead Death Eater, after he had failed to kill Harry Potter.

Former Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge felt like a fool.

****

Reading the Prophet’s front-page article, Minerva McGonagall took note of some words that the press release had stated: “Nobody else helped us, so nobody else may take any credit for the vanquishing of ‘Lord’ Voldemort.” Minerva was sure that Harry had written these words to stop the lying boasts of Albus and of Ronald Weasley before such boasts were started.

Minerva easily could imagine Albus, with a twinkle in his eyes, assuring the Daily Prophet and the Wizengamot that “Harry” had defeated Voldemort only because of Albus’s “wise guidance.” Similarly, Minerva could imagine Ronald Weasley in the Gryffindor common room, telling a harrowing tale of his battle against Death Eaters that was packed with danger, such a tale including Ron at Malfoy Manor saving Harry’s life more times than Harry had saved Ron’s.

But Harry Potter’s paragraph in the Daily Prophet undercut Mr Weasley’s ability to boast. Minerva suspected that the ginger boy would be quite annoyed with Potter when Mr Weasley found out.

But enough about the braggarts! Minerva felt so proud of Harry and Hermione, who once again had proven themselves to be true Gryffindors. Minerva also felt proud of Luna Lovegood, “the Brave Bonnie Blonde in Blue and Bronze.”

****

After reading this morning’s Daily Prophet, Neville Longbottom felt amazement at what Harry, Hermione and Luna had achieved. Neville idly wondered why himself, Ron Weasley and Ginny Weasley, who were three of the “Ministry Six,” had not been made part of “Harry’s Six” in Malfoy Manor. However, Neville trusted that Harry had had a good reason for not including Neville in yesterday’s attack.

Neville was unbothered about Harry excluding him.

****

In the office of Director Ragnok, Gringotts

After reading the first three pages of this morning’s Daily Prophet, Ragnok thought, This explains the bizarre events that happened in Gringotts yesterday.

Ragnok glanced at a stack of eighteen one-foot parchments on his desk. The top parchment read—

19960711: Anghus Avery, Head of House Avery, sends the Killing Curse to Hermione Jean Granger B.

The Killing Curse is dodged by Hermione Jean Granger B, who moves behind the magical shield of Hermione Jean Granger A.

Hermione Jean Granger B sends a curse, which was taught to her by Hermione Jean Granger A, to Anghus Avery, Head of House Avery.

Anghus Avery, Head of House Avery, dies.

Hermione Jean Granger B becomes Head of House Avery by Right of Conquest.

Hermione Jean Granger B is acting as a Hand of Harry James Potter A, as defined by a prophecy.

The prophecy reassigns Head of House Avery by Right of Conquest to Harry James Potter A.

What the eighteen parchments said collectively—

Hermione Jean Granger A had become Head of House by Right of Conquest (HOHBROC) of Houses Flint and Parkinson. (In the process, Hermione Jean Granger A twice had blocked the Killing Curse.) Luna Selene Lovegood had become HOHBROC of House Nott.

Ragnok knew that since each witch was currently underage, she was “merely” the Heiress Primary for her newly-won House(s); the dead Death Eaters’ widows were Regents for now.

Harry James Potter B, Albus Percival Dumbledore B and Hermione Jean Granger B, each for one second had become Head of House by Right of Conquest, a total of eleven times; then the HOHBROC honour had been transferred by a prophecy to Harry James Potter A.

Meanwhile, Harry James Potter A had become Head of House by Right of Conquest, in his own right, of Houses Malfoy, Selwyn, Travers, Gaunt and Slytherin.

All told, Harry James Potter A, in less than an hour’s time, yesterday had become Head of sixteen Houses by Right of Conquest.

Other parchments, which now were stacked elsewhere on Ragnok’s desk, yesterday had informed Gringotts that all the Marked Death Eaters who had been elsewhere, who had not been killed yesterday in Malfoy Manor, had lost all of their magic when Tom Marvolo Riddle had died. Those Death Eaters all were young enough to still be walking and talking today, not dead; but by Wizarding Britain law, magicless magicals were considered dead. Soon their wills would be read, which would make all the magicless Death Eaters homeless and penniless.

All ten Death Eaters who were imprisoned in Azkaban had lost their magic. Ragnok figured that their true deaths, not merely their deaths by law, would come soon.

Now Ragnok summoned his assistant Bloodyfist. Ragnok told Bloodyfist, “Send a letter to Harry James Potter. Tell him that Director Ragnok requests a meeting with him as soon as possible, to share, quote, ‘quite good and quite historic news, with opportunity for profit,’ unquote. Address the letter to ‘Harry James Potter, Lord Potter-Black-et cetera.’ Send similar letters to Hermione Jean Granger and to Luna Selene Lovegood.”

Once Bloodyfist went back to his desk to write, Ragnok wondered, How did Hermione Jean Granger A block the Killing Curse?

****

Three hours later

Harry, Hermione and Luna walked out of Gringotts. Hermione looked gobsmacked and Harry was gobsmacked. In contrast, Luna looked serene.

Harry asked Luna, “How does it feel to be, at fifteen, a Head of House by Right of Conquest?”

Luna replied, “Am I an underage Head of House by Right of Conquest?” She looked at the Nott Heiress Primary ring on her hand, then said dreamily, “I am Nott.”

Luna paused for Hermione’s groan, then said, “Goodbye for now, Harry James Potter-And-More-Names-Than-The-Headmaster and future Hermione Jean Dagworth-Granger-Flint-Parkinson.” Luna walked diagonally away, down the steps.

****

Then Luna stopped, turned round, and walked back up the stairs to Harry and to Hermione. “Neither of you are wizard-raised, so you might not know this, but you have choices to make now. Hermione, you are Head of two Houses, which means you must appoint two Heirs and must sign two Line-Continuation contracts. Harry, you must appoint eighteen Heirs and must marry eighteen wives.”

Harry grinned at Luna. “Do you want to be one of the eighteen?”

“No, Harry Potter. Your eighteen Houses are Potter of the Light, and seventeen Houses of the Dark. I am of the Fae, who are both childishly Light and disturbingly Dark. Not for me, being locked into acting like one or the other.”

Then Luna looked at Hermione and smiled. “So just as I am unsuited to serve as Lady Malfoy, I am unfit to be Lady Potter. Some other witch must become Lady Potter.”

With those words, Luna turned round again, and again walked down the Gringotts steps, away from Harry and from Hermione.

****

As Harry and Hermione themselves were walking down the steps of Gringotts, Harry still felt amazed. “Eighteen Houses, Hermione! I’m Head of eighteen Houses, sixteen of them Death-Eater Dark! Even as a Head of House, I can’t be normal.”

Hermione, who in two months and a week would become Lady Dagworth-Granger, Lady Flint and Lady Parkinson, side-hugged Harry. Hermione then said, “May I remind you that even before we were told this news, you weren’t a ‘normal’ Head of House? Yesterday morning at breakfast, you were merely Head of House Potter and Head of House Black. Look about”—now Hermione made a wide arm-gesture, to represent all of Wizarding Britain—“how many Heads of two Houses do I know? Only myself and the handsome wizard I like to snog mightily.”

Then Hermione added, “Considering all the nastiness you’ve experienced since Halloween of 1981, you deserve a massive reward.” On the steps of Gringotts, Hermione kissed Harry on the cheek.

Harry said, “You and I already were planning to talk to the Daily Prophet this morning. So let’s amend the plan: Whilst we’re there, I pull out the Gringotts parchment from my pocket and I casually show Barnabas Cuffe the sixteen Houses that yesterday I became Head of, besides I killing You-Know-Who one-on-one.”

Hermione said, “Tomorrow morning when the Prophet prints all that, you’ll need to forget forever your wish to be treated as ‘just Harry.’ Be warned.”

Then Hermione added casually, “And starting tomorrow, expect to receive betrothal offers by the basketful. Though I can bloody guarantee you, Pansy Parkinson won’t be one of the witches offered to you.”

****

In the office of Barnabas Cuffe, Daily Prophet

Yesterday, Harry, Hermione and Luna had dropped a hint that part of their story involved timeline-travelers. The nature of the hint: Yesterday morning, Albus Dumbledore had been arrested by magicals from another timeline, then he had been taken to their timeline with them—c’mon, were readers supposed to believe that the timeline-travelers had popped in, had grabbed the Hogwarts headmaster, then had popped away, all in less than a minute?

Now today in Cuffe’s office, Harry and Hermione were interviewed by Cuffe, and by the Advanced Magic reporter Max Spellman, about the previously-unnamed, undescribed three within Harry’s Six. News flash: those three magicals were from another timeline.

Harry and Hermione, with the help of pensieve memories, told the (almost) full story of the three magicals from Timeline B. The two teenagers told Cuffe how Other-Harry, Other-Hermione and Percival Dumbledore had been brought to “Timeline A” by Albus Dumbledore’s ritual, and what those three had done from that moment until yesterday morning, when they had left Timeline A (along with tied-up Albus Dumbledore, with Amelia Bones’s official approval).

Hermione divulged everything about the ritual that had brought three magicals here, about Paracelsus’s Mystery, and about the counterpart-ritual that had sent four magicals away.

Hermione told the two reporters a brief alternate-timeline biography of each of the three Summoned magicals. This included fully quoting Percival Dumbledore’s plans, before November 1981, for Harry Potter—which was of interest to readers because they were also Albus Dumbledore’s plans for Harry Potter, both before and after November 1981.

Both Harry and Hermione talked about Other-Harry of Timeline B, who had lived the life that Albus Dumbledore had denied Harry in Timeline A. The inescapable conclusion? The two Harrys were quite different.

Just like during their interview with Barnabas Cuffe the day before, today the two teenagers refused to answer any question about what combat spells “Harry’s Six” had discovered since 26 June, or about what spells they had cast yesterday in Malfoy Manor.

Harry delayed his revelation of “Oh by the by, Magic has made me Head of sixteen more Houses,” and he delayed the pulling from his pocket of the Gringotts parchment that proved his claim, till the end of the interview.

And these were not just any Houses for which Harry had become Head of House by Right of Conquest. The Heads of fourteen of the Houses had been now-dead Death Eaters, and two Houses had belonged to Voldemort.

Then Harry “explained” how Magic had made him Head of sixteen Houses by Harry publicly revealing the completed Prophecy: “The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...” Harry spoke the full Prophecy, whilst Cuffe’s and Spellman’s jaws dropped.

Then Hermione smiled viciously, whilst she pulled her own parchment from her own pocket. “Meanwhile, there is myself who yesterday walked in here wearing a t-shirt that read ‘Muggle-born 1,’ you’ll recall. In two months and a few days, I’ll become Lady Dagworth-Granger, which I expect nobody to have a problem with; but also Lady Flint, replacing Death Eater Linus Flint, and I’ll become Lady Parkinson, replacing Death Eater Peter Parkinson. Luna Lovegood in February 1998 will become Lady Nott, replacing Death Eater Thaddeus Nott. I predict exciting times in the Wizengamot, in the months and years ahead.”

****

On to Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes

Between the Daily Prophet offices and Flourish & Blotts Bookshop was Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, which would open sometime in the fall. Once Harry and Hermione were out of the Daily Prophet offices and were headed towards the bookshop, the two teens decided to detour to WWW, to visit Fred and George and to view their embryonic pranks shop.

Neither Harry nor Hermione gave a thought to the fact that, just as it was summer hols and they were not in school, no other Hogwarts student was in school either.

Harry pounded his fist on WWW’s front door. Half a minute later, the door was answered—not by Fred or George, but by Parvati Patil.

The first thing Parvati said was “Everybody’s in the Potions lab. Follow me.”

The second thing Parvati said, after she looked closely at Harry and Hermione, was “Are you two together?”

Hermione said, “Yes, Harry and I finally are together.”

Parvati’s eyes lit up at this new and solid-gold gossip she got to share. “About bloody time,” she said.

Parvati then led Harry and Hermione through the retail part of the shop. Here and there, Harry saw goods on the shelves; but for the most part, the shelves were empty.

When Parvati, Harry and Hermione walked into the WWW Potions lab, Harry expected to see only Fred and George there. Instead, besides Fred and George were Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Lee Jordan, Katie Bell and Lavender Brown—also Ron and Ginny Weasley.

“EVERYONE, LOOK,” said a Twin.

The other Twin said, “THE HEROES—”

In unison: “—WALK AMONGST US.”

Almost everyone there greeted Harry and Hermione when they entered. Ron was scowling.

****

AUTHOR’S NOTE: In this story, the three Timeline-B magicals in Harry’s Six earn the Head of House by Right of Conquest (HOHBROC) title, a total of eleven times—for one second. Then Magic transfers their HOHBROC titles to Harry. This is because those three Timeline-B magicals want, with every fibre of his or her being, to return to Timeline B and want no attachments to Timeline A. Magic grants this fervent wish. As for Hermione and Luna, they earn three HOHBROC titles between them, which are not diverted to Harry.

In “Harry’s Letter from Hermione’s Dad,” two British Aurors and thirty-four foreigner Aurors all became HOHBROCs. They kept their titles because they had been assigned to Wizarding Britain or had volunteered to fight in Wizarding Britain; they were in Wizarding Britain legitimately. However, the three kidnapped Timeline-B magicals in this story never should have been in this timeline’s Wizarding Britain in the first place, and Magic had no intention of forcing responsibilities to eleven Timeline-A Houses upon them.

Chapter Text

Still Sunday, 12 July
In the Potions lab, Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes

When Parvati, Harry and Hermione walked into the WWW Potions lab, Harry expected to see only Fred and George there. Instead, besides Fred and George were Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Lee Jordan, Katie Bell and Lavender Brown—also Ron and Ginny Weasley.

“EVERYONE, LOOK,” said a Twin.

The other Twin said, “THE HEROES—”

In unison: “—WALK AMONGST US.”

Almost everyone there greeted Harry and Hermione when they entered. Ron was scowling.

****

The WWW Potions lab has three long tables in it, with four bubbling pewter cauldrons on each table. On a wall was sticking-charmed a recipe for “Daft Hair-Colour Draft”; the text was big enough that the recipe could be read from anywhere in the Potions lab. The cauldron nearest to Harry had a pea-green potion bubbling in it.

The Twins were moving from one cauldron to another, stirring each cauldron three times anticlockwise, then four times clockwise—which was when a pea-green potion turned Tonks-hair pink. Everyone else who was already in the Potions lab was standing and watching the Twins brew, instead of brewing a potion themselves.

Katie Bell asked the newcomers, “Harry, Hermione, did you and Luna Lovegood really, truly kill You-Know-Who and a mob of Death Eaters?”

“One of whom was Draco’s father?” asked Angelina Johnson.

“Something like that, yeah,” Harry said, uncomfortable with the topic.

Hermione said, “Besides Harry and me, four people were in the attack group. Luna Lovegood was one of the four others. Harry by himself killed Voldemort; Harry and the rest of us killed the Death Eaters. Harry killed Lucius Malfoy after Lucius tried to kill Harry.”

Everyone except Ron looked impressed.

****

Parvati said, “Fred? George? Get out your black book. Somebody somewhere needs to be paid lots of money!”

“What?” the Twins said in unison.

“When?” Ginny demanded. “When did they get together?”

“ ‘They’?” Ron asked suspiciously. “Who is ‘they’?”

The Twins gave their brother and sister serious side-eye, then asked (in tandem), “Harry? Hermione? When did you get together? And when did you kiss?”

Harry replied, “It was, erm—dates still confuse me sometimes.”

Hermione said, “We kissed on 26th June. A bit over a fortnight ago. Seconds after he was destatuefied, I kissed him, and he kissed me back with enthusiasm.”

“Definite enthusiasm,” said Harry. “I’ve thought about kissing Hermione since end of second year.”

“Really?” Hermione asked, looking surprised. “For me the idea of kissing you was third year. Buckbeak.”

Ron’s ears were red, Harry saw. Harry figured Mount Ronald would blow soon.

Hermione looked at the Twins. “Harry asked me to be his girlfriend ... when? Funny, I can’t remember when.”

Harry slapped his forehead. “Because I think I never have. Asked you to be my girlfriend, that is. As soon as we kissed, there was, as usual for me, a crisis that had to be overcome. We didn’t have time then for ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ Then, erm, other things came up?”

Now Harry took a breath, looked at Hermione, and asked, “Hermione Jean Granger, will you officially be my girlfriend?”

“BUGGER THAT, POTTER!” yelled Three-Guesses-Who. “FIRST YOU STEAL THE GLORY, NOW YOU ALSO STEAL THE WITCH I FANCY?”

Harry thought, Who the bloody hell does Ron think he is?

And in Harry, something snapped. Something changed.

Harry thought, I killed Voldemort. I don’t have to take this shit.

Aloud, Harry replied, “Glory? You think I went after Voldemort and Death Eaters for glory? Are you truly that thick stupid? I killed Voldemort so that he would stop trying to kill me! Every person who ever faced Voldemort, except for Frank Longbottom, Alice Longbottom, and me, is dead. D-E-A-D! Meaning that if you’d joined our group yesterday, you could be dead today. By not bringing you in on this, I wasn’t denying you glory, I was saving your lazy, envious, combative, eats-like-a-pig life. But you can’t see that, can you?”

Hermione looked at Harry and said sweetly, “The answer to your question, Harry Potter, is ‘Will I officially be your girlfriend? In a heartbeat.’ ”

Then Hermione turned to face Ron. Now Hermione’s face was angry, and her voice, scornful: “You ‘fancy’ me? The way you treat me—disrespecting me, insulting me, making me cry—I’d have to be both love-potioned and lobotomised to fancy you. I more fancy Draco—because he has table manners!”

Ron, whilst ignoring Hermione’s words as usual, yelled at Harry, “TODAY YOU MADE HERMY FAMOUS IN THE DAILY PROPHET, AND LOONY, BUT NOT ME! AND I’M YOUR BEST MATE!”

Harry looked at Ron in silence for a time. Ron pasted on a sneer. Clearly Ron thought that if he acted angry enough, Harry would appease him.

(Admittedly, such a tactic had worked often with Harry in the past.)

Suddenly Harry rushed towards Ron. When Harry was within punching distance, only then did Harry speak—

“You want fame? I’ll give you fame! EVERYONE, LISTEN UP! TODAY, 12 JULY 1996, IS THE DAY THAT I, HARRY JAMES POTTER, DECLARE THAT MY DISLOYAL, BACKSTABBER, FAIR-WEATHER FRIEND, THE FANBOY OF THE BOY-WHO-LIVED, RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY, NO LONGER IS MY FRIEND. LAVENDER, PARVATI, PLEASE NOTE.”

Angry Ron went for his wand.

Harry snatched Ron’s wand out of his hand and threw the wand towards a Weasley Twin.

“Incarcerous!” yelled Ginny. Ron suddenly was tied up with blue ropes. “Silencio!”

Harry took a calming breath. “Thank you, Ginny.”

Harry took another calming breath. “Fred, George, Hermione and I will visit you another day. Goodbye.”

With great dignity, Harry and Hermione walked out of the Potions Lab. Behind them, everyone in the Potions Lab was silent—with one exception. (No, the one voice was not Ron’s.)

A girl’s voice said, “Lav, I’m sure the Daily Prophet will pay me ten galleons for everything I’ve heard just now.”

****

That evening, back at Black Manor

Harry needed the help of Amelia Bones. For her to help him, she needed to know the truth—even the truth that Harry, up till now, had been too ashamed to reveal.

With Hermione rubbing Harry’s back and kissing him, in order to calm him down, Harry wrote a historic letter—

12 July 1996

To Amelia Susan Bones from Harry James Potter, greetings.

I write to you not as Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, though I am a victim of many broken laws. Today I write to you as the Bones Regent who is an active seat-holder in the Wizengamot, in the Light faction.

But mostly I am writing to you, instead of to someone else in the Light faction, because everyone tells me you are honourable.

For my requests at the end of the letter to make sense, I need to give you much background information about me that most people don’t know.

The first thing to know about me, which I’m sure you don’t already know: Before I was born, a Prophecy was spoken about me. The Prophecy claimed that I had the “power to vanquish the Dark Lord,” but the Prophecy said it was possible that Voldemort would kill me instead of me killing him. When this Prophecy was spoken, before I was born, it was Albus Dumbledore who heard the Prophecy.

What I write now was told to me by Percival Dumbledore (Albus Dumbledore’s Timeline-B “twin,” you recall). Beginning Halloween night in 1981, when it was clear that I was the Chosen One of the Prophecy, Albus Dumbledore did everything in his considerable power, over the years, to make sure that on the day that Voldemort and I fought our final battle, Voldemort would kill me.

In working his plan, Dumbledore did not leave me with any of the guardians mentioned in my parents’ wills. (One prospective guardian was you.) Instead, Dumbledore left me with my mother’s magic-hating Muggle sister, Petunia Evans Dursley, Petunia’s magic-hating husband, Vernon Dursley, and son, Dudley Dursley. I came to Hogwarts malnourished, scarred, and with badly-healed broken bones. My clothes and my trainers were worn out and did not fit me; they were my fat cousin’s castoffs. My glasses were broken and were the wrong prescription.

Most importantly, I came to Hogwarts knowing less about the magical world than a Muggle-born.

How can I claim this last part? When Muggle-borns are presented their Hogwarts letter in person, by a Hogwarts professor, included in the Hogwarts letter is a Supplemental Reading List. I never have been given this Supplemental Reading List or the books listed in it.

I’m sure that Susan expected the son of Pureblood James Potter to know many things about Wizarding Britain when I came to Hogwarts. Well, I didn’t know these things at the beginning of first year. And many things about the Wizarding world, I still don’t know.

To repeat, it was Albus Dumbledore’s plan, according to Percival Dumbledore, that when I fought Voldemort to the death, it would be I—unhealthy, ignorant, untrained, unpopular and demoralised—who would die, not Voldemort. Why was this Albus Dumbledore’s plan? Because with my death, the Prophecy would be fulfilled; then Albus Dumbledore would swoop in without Fate endangering him, would kill Voldemort, and would become famous for centuries as the killer of two Dark Lords.

(By the by, Gellert Grindelwald isn’t dead, he’s been in Nurmengard Prison since the 1940s. But everyone thinks Dumbledore killed him.)

Because of Albus Dumbledore’s plots and schemes, I’ve fought Voldemort at Hogwarts during my first year, second year, fourth year and fifth year. The Triwizard Tournament was a big plot by Voldemort to portkey me to a place away from Hogwarts, to steal my blood for Voldemort’s resurrection ritual, then to kill me; I am convinced that Dumbledore knew most of Voldemort’s plot against me, and let it all happen.

But Albus Dumbledore outsmarted himself. When my name came out of the Goblet, Albus made sure that all three headmasters and all the attending Ministry bureaucrats declared that I had to take part in a Tournament for of-age magicals—all those declarations meant that when I faced the Hungarian Horntail in the First Task, Magic made me “of age.” Yes, at fourteen. I did not know this at the time, but I could have claimed the Potter Head of House ring later that day. Last month, when Lord Sirius Black died after I had been named Heir Black, I became eligible to claim the Lord Black ring. Again, Albus Dumbledore did not tell me this, then or later.

However, the goblins clued me in. Before I went to Malfoy Manor yesterday morning, I had claimed my Lord Potter and Lord Black rings.

Yesterday morning, when I, my friends Hermione and Luna, and the Timeline–B magicals Percival Dumbledore, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger all went to Malfoy Manor, the Prophecy was fulfilled in a way that Albus Dumbledore never expected. The important point is, I killed Voldemort, without myself suffering a scratch. Also, my friend Hermione became Head of two Houses by Right of Conquest, Luna became Head of one House by Right of Conquest, and I became Head of five Houses by Right of Conquest. (Let me just say, killing Lucius Malfoy, after he tried to kill me, was deeply satisfying.) The three Timeline-B magicals became Head of House by Right of Conquest eleven times; but then Magic and the Prophecy, for some reason, switched those eleven Headships from the three Timeline-B magicals to me.

By yesterday evening, Voldemort was dead, I was alive and unhurt, I was qualified to wear more Head of House rings by Right of Conquest than I have fingers for, and Albus Dumbledore was gaoled in a Timeline-B holding cell. I’m sure Albus was surprised by how the Prophecy was fulfilled!

So now I am Lord Potter and Lord Black by inheritance, and I am the Head of sixteen Dark Houses by Right of Conquest.

Finally I come to the reason I am writing you. Two months from now on 25 September, which is the first Friday after my friend Hermione turns seventeen, she will claim the Dagworth-Granger, Flint and Parkinson seats in the Wizengamot. I likely will claim my eighteen seats at the same time.

Due to my huge ignorance, I easily could make lifelong enemies—powerful enemies—unknowingly, in the years after I become a seat-holder. I do not want this at all.

I ask you to tutor me about what I need to know to be a seat-holder. Assume I know nothing.

Like I said at the start, I am writing to you, who is part of the Light faction, because you are honourable. Please give me the name of someone in the Grey faction whom you think is honourable, so I can ask him or her for seat-holder tuition as well.

Thank you very much,

Harry James Potter

What were the results of this letter? Amelia Bones informed Harry that “if Albus ever shows up here again whilst I’m Director, he’ll be arrested too.”

Amelia Bones also wrote to Harry that she recommended Cyrus Greengrass, Lord Greengrass, as Harry’s other tutor, and she asked Harry’s permission to let Susan read the letter and for Amelia to send a copy of the letter to Cyrus Greengrass. Harry gave permission for Susan Bones, for Cyrus Greengrass and for Daphne Greengrass to read his words.

Amelia invited Harry to Bones Manor for tea. Once Harry got there, things soon turned awkward—

****

Whilst Amelia was escorting Harry from the Bones Manor Floo Room to the Head’s Office, Amelia and Harry came across Susan.

“Potter,” Susan said contemptuously.

“Bones,” Harry said, his voice lacking all emotion.

Susan said, “Congratulations on ending You-Know-Who. Or so you claim.”

Amelia’s nostrils flared. Amelia asked Susan, “Why are you calling Harry Potter a liar?”

“Because he turned Justin into a statue in second year, and he cheated his way into the Tournament in fourth year. Harry Potter is a liar and a cheater, and a danger to others. That letter from him that you showed me? I’m sure it’s all lies.”

“Wow,” said Harry sarcastically, “and here I thought Ron Weasley had only one redhead sister.”

Amelia said, “Susan Amelia Bones, you will become Lady Bones in seven months and,” Amelia paused, “eighteen days, but it is clear you are not ready. Harry and those two witches did what they claimed they did; I was there afterwards and I witnessed the gory results. Then they swore oaths on their magic, just so stupid people could not talk stupid, but that’s what you are doing now—talking stupid. What do you need, Susan, to not talk stupid? Should I ask Croaker if he has a mage-level Time-Turner, so you can stand in the Malfoy Manor ballroom and witness Harry Potter kill Voldemort as it happens?”

Shocked-looking Susan asked, “Auntie, why are you humiliating me in front of someone who isn’t family?”

“Because this young man is a hero. He saved us all from Voldemort. As a hero, Harry Potter now holds the power to decide Wizarding Britain’s future. He can publicly praise; he can publicly rebuke. Either way, other people will listen to him. He has a huge number of votes in the Wizengamot. He’s richer than King Midas. All of which means, he can destroy House Bones, whilst you are Lady Bones. I want to prevent this last part, but you are not helping!”

Susan looked at both her aunt and her visitor. Then Susan asked, “Potter truly killed You-Know-Who?”

Amelia answered, “I would bet my magic and my entire personal vault on it.”

Susan then curtseyed to Harry, and apologised to him. Harry was shocked.

Harry bowed to Susan and said, “Whatever estrangement that existed between House Bones and House Potter now is ended.”

Amelia smiled, and Susan looked relieved.

****

Later that night, Lord Cyrus Greengrass wrote to Harry, saying that he was flattered that Harry wanted to learn his teachings about the Wizarding World and about how to be a better Wizengamot seat-holder.

Cyrus Greengrass invited Harry to have dinner with the family the next day. Cyrus Greengrass also invited Hermione, explaining that he had been told many good things about Daphne’s genius Muggle-born classmate.

****

The morning after Harry and Hermione spoke with the Daily Prophet (Monday morning, 13 July)

At the same time that the Daily Prophet revealed that Albus Dumbledore had performed a ritual to bring three magicals from another timeline to this timeline without their consent; and that later, these three Timeline-B magicals had helped Harry Potter fight Death Eaters at Malfoy Manor; the Quibbler came out with its own version of the story.

The Quibbler first-person account was written by Luna Lovegood. Within the piece was this Lunaesque paragraph—

“Thaddeus Nott cast the Killing Curse at me, which I thought was rude. After I dodged his rude spell, I got rude back. The Feyonoomkaroong Curse in action should not be seen by young children, but it did what it was supposed to.”

****

That evening (still Monday, 13 July)
In the informal dining room of Greengrass Manor

The four Greengrasses, Harry and Hermione all were seated round the table. Cyrus Greengrass said, “Lord Potter, you call me ‘honourable.’ So I freely admit to you that I had a selfish reason for inviting you to dinner. Right now, you are Head of eighteen Houses; this means that right now, you must marry eighteen witches; meanwhile, I have two unmarried, unbetrothed daughters.”

Harry looked at Daphne in surprise. “You’re not betrothed? I figure if anyone in our year would already be betrothed, it would be you.”

“You think I am quite the catch?” Daphne asked. Harry could not read her expression.

“Of course,” Harry replied. “Isn’t House Greengrass a Grey House, meaning you could marry someone from a Light House or someone from a Dark House? You have twice the marriage options. Not to mention—well, look at you!”

Daphne’s mother Opal smiled proudly. Daphne’s sister Astoria came close to laughing. Daphne’s almost-inscrutable face showed a tiny hint of something.

Then Daphne said, “Yes, in theory I could become betrothed to someone from a Light family. But let’s look at my situation, shall we?” Daphne began ticking things off on her fingers.

“House Abbott? They have only one son, who already is married.

“House Bones? No sons.

“House Longbottom? Remember that the Hufflepuff table is next to the Slytherin table, so I can tell you from first-hand observation, Neville Longbottom is besotted with Hannah Abbott, and she with him. So, House Longbottom is out.

“House Weasley? No, just no. Though the Twins will be a great catch for two witches, provided the witches resist the urge to murder Fred and George in their sleep.”

Hermione, with narrowed eyes, asked Daphne, “Why not any of the Weasleys?”

Daphne replied, “Marrying any Weasley means I would get ‘Howler Molly’ as a mother-in-law. No way, this absolutely won’t happen.”

Cyrus Greengrass repeated, “ ‘Howler Molly’?”

Astoria said, “Mum, Dad, she’s horrid. At least once a month, some Weasley over at the Gryffindor table gets a Howler for something that Molly Weasley thinks her kid did wrong. Even at the Ravenclaw table, those Howlers are painfully loud.”

Daphne said, “Over at the Slytherin table, they aren’t painfully loud, but they’re loud enough to stop conversations. Returning to the topic of ‘Why not any Weasley?’, I also say no to marrying Percy Weasley. He was a pompous prat at Hogwarts, and Dad says he’s turned worse at the Ministry.”

Harry said, “This still leaves Charlie Weasley and Ronald Weasley.”

Daphne said, “Isn’t Charlie Weasley seven years older than us? Ugh to him as a husband. If I’m going to marry him, why not I marry one of Dad’s friends? And marry Ronald Weasley?” Daphne visibly shuddered. “I’d sooner live all my life as a spinster, then I watch House Greengrass be declared extinct on my deathbed.”

Astoria said cheerfully, “This still leaves House Potter for Daph to marry into. Lord Potter, my sister is beautiful; you should marry her.”

Daphne looked meaningfully at Hermione, then said to Astoria, “I’m sure that when Lord Potter eventually marries, Lady Potter won’t be me.”

Astoria, still cheerful, said, “Then Lord Potter, make my sister Lady Black. Or Lady Malfoy. Or Lady Selwyn. It looked for a while as though Daph were going to be betrothed to Sam Flint, but two days ago, he suffered an unfortunate accident.”

Daphne looked at Harry and Hermione whilst she said, “Whoever killed Sam Flint, whether it was either of you or one of the other four, thank you. I mean it. Sam Flint was a Death Eater and a berk, so it would have been like me marrying Lucius Malfoy.” Daphne shuddered.

Harry was quiet for a few seconds, then he looked at Cyrus Greengrass. “Let’s return to something that Daphne said in passing. What exactly happens to a House when the House becomes extinct, and how do I make a House go extinct?”

****

Monday night at the Greengrass dinner, Cyrus Greengrass never did get around to teaching the information about manners, etiquette and politics that Harry and Hermione had come to learn.

But that evening, the Greengrasses did give their visitors thorough lessons about declaring a House extinct, and what this meant. Among other things, if a House was declared extinct, the Head of House did not need to declare a Heir(ess) for this House, and the Head of House did not need to marry a witch who would provide a Heir(ess) in the usual way.

Harry said, “I think what I’m going to do is to declare all my Right of Conquest Houses to be extinct. I’m not sure what to do about House Black. I want to keep House Black viable, but to do this, I’ll need to marry a second witch. Hermione, I know you won’t like this at all.”

Hermione laughed. “Harry James Potter, you are clueless about witches! You are assuming, am I correct, that in the future I will be Lady Potter? But there is an important question you have not asked me!”

Hermione, still smiling, looked at the Greengrasses and said, “Yesterday he did something similar. Sixteen days after I kissed him, he finally asked me to be his girlfriend.”

Red-faced Harry stood up from his chair, walked over to where Hermione was sitting, took her hand, and dropped to one knee. “Hermione Jean Dagworth-Granger-Flint-Parkinson, will you honour me by marrying me when we are out of Hogwarts, and by becoming Lady Potter?”

“In a heartbeat!” Hermione replied.

Harry still was red-faced when he returned to his chair. After the new couple had accepted congratulations from the Greengrasses, Hermione said, “Harry, if you keep House Black viable and you marry Daphne as Lady Black, it would make her happy and I could live with you having her as the second wife. Also, Daphne would bring a lot to House Black.”

Harry looked over at Daphne. The “Ice Queen” now was nodding, and was smiling warmly at Hermione.

Harry thought, If I marry Daphne Greengrass, I won’t have one wife who is smarter than I am, I’ll have two.

****

Gringotts would write the official Harry-Daphne betrothal contract, and the signing of the betrothal contract—by Cyrus, Harry and Daphne—would be at Gringotts; but most of the negotiation of betrothal-contract terms was done during Monday evening’s dinner at Greengrass Manor.

It helped smooth the betrothal-negotiations that clearly Harry had no interest in inserting terms in the contract that either Daphne would hate or her father Cyrus would hate. (The four Greengrasses almost fell out of their chairs when Harry freely offered Daphne a penalty-free cancellation clause, up to three months before the wedding.)

****

By the time that Harry and Hermione were saying their goodbyes to the Greengrasses, Hermione had announced that she would copy Harry and would declare House Flint and House Parkinson to be extinct Houses; and Harry had announced that he would appoint Andromeda Black Tonks to be the Black Heiress Primary (till Daphne Black gave birth to a son).

****

In the following weeks

Both House Bones and House Greengrass hosted Harry and Hermione for dinner, several times during the remaining weeks of summer hols. During these dinners, Harry and Hermione were given as much of the teachings that they needed as time allowed.

Harry and Hermione spent much time at Greengrass Manor. Lady Opal Greengrass, Heiress Daphne Greengrass and Lord Cyrus Greengrass (when he was home) taught the teenaged,  nonmagically-raised couple what they wanted and needed to know, in order to survive and to thrive in the Wizengamot.

****

At the end of summer hols: Monday, 31 August
The day before the start of the 1996-1997 school year
In the headmistress’s office, Hogwarts

After breakfast, Headmistress McGonagall came back to her office and discovered on her desk—

Hufflepuff’s Cup, Ravenclaw’s Diadem and Slytherin’s Locket.

Minerva could not begin to guess how these three Founders’ Relics had disappeared, how they later had undisappeared, and how they had arrived on Minerva’s desk during breakfast this morning. (She was certain that there had been nothing on her desk before breakfast.)

****

Twenty-one years and two days later (Saturday, 2 September 2017)
In Timeline B

Albus Dumbledore had been dead for years.

Before Albus had died, never once had he been visited in prison, not even by Percival Dumbledore or by Timeline-B Aberforth Dumbledore.

After Albus had died, and following standard procedure in Azkaban, his corpse had been weighted down with rocks and it had been portkeyed north of the Orkney Islands, to be food for fish.

****

Meanwhile, back in Timeline A
In the Howling Grim Pub in Knockturn Alley

Pansy No-Name walked up to the table where Draco No-Name was sitting. Pansy had a glass of Muggle gin in her hand (because Muggle gin was cheap).

Draco No-Name held a glass of Firewhisky in his right hand, because A, he was right-handed; and B, since 2006, Draco’s left arm had been missing its wrist and hand.

As Pansy set down her gin and took a seat, Draco said, “You won’t believe what’s on the front page of this morning’s Daily Pfft. Yesterday, Scarhead”—Harry James Potter-Black-Malfoy-etc.—“put his kids on the Hogwarts Express. This is considered important news?”

Pansy sneered, “Anything that ‘the king of the Wizengamot,’ who also has a basilisk skeleton in the Potter Manor formal dining room, does is front-page news. Don’t you know this?” Then Pansy, still sneering, said, “I’m sure the mudblood”—Minister for Magic Hermione Jean Dagworth-Granger-Flint-Parkinson-Potter—“and the black-haired blood-traitor”—Daphne Greengrass-Black—were in the photo too.”

Draco nodded. For a moment, he said nothing else.

Draco, an only child, did not mention to Pansy, another only child, the names of Potter’s five sons by his two wives: two Potters, a Dagworth-Granger, a Greengrass and a Black. If that was not fertile enough, Scarhead also had two daughters.

Instead, Draco said, “Yeah, Scarhead, the mudblood and the black-haired blood-traitor, all three, were in the photo. The photo caption casually mentioned that the mudblood and Scarhead are writing another book, with editing by the black-haired blood-traitor.

“Also in the photo: Plant Boy”—Neville Longbottom—“whom Scarhead and the mudblood replaced the Weasel with, and Plant Boy’s blood-traitor bints,” Hannah Abbott-Longbottom and Concubine Susan Bones. “Loony”—Luna Lovegood-Nott-Scamander—“was there, along with her husband Salamander. What’s really disgusting is Greengrass and all the other people in the photo, who were looking at Scarhead, the mudblood and Loony like they’d just turned lead into gold. Bones and Abbott next to Scarhead looked proud, as though they were standing next to Merlin.”

Pansy snarled, “I wonder if all those sheep would still admire Scarhead and the mudblood if they knew those two disowned the child and Heir of the Pureblood whose ring they stole.”

Scarhead had disowned Draco from both House Malfoy and House Black in the year 2000, and the mudblood had disowned Pansy soon after Pansy had sat her NEWTs. Pansy had been disowned back in 1998, and Pansy still was angry about her disownment in 2017. The mudblood had not disowned any Flints, because all three Flint wizards—Linus, Marcus and Samuel—had died in Malfoy Manor.

Theodore Nott was still Nott because he knew how to kiss Loony’s arse. Pansy felt resentful.

Now Draco pounded his one fist on the table. “Those three ‘heroes’ ”—Harry, Hermione and Luna—“have ruined this country for Purebloods. Now it’s NEWT scores that determine who gets jobs at the Ministry, not heritage. Crabbe and Goyle never have been able to get a job at the Ministry, and they’re Purebloods! They’re entitled!”

Pansy said, “I agree. We Purebloods are entitled, because we’re Purebloods. But the lesser-bloods have all the votes in the Wizengamot now. They’ve passed laws against love-potioning mudbloods! And killing a mudblood or a halfblood now is considered the same as murdering a Pureblood! Outrageous.”

Draco said, “I hear it was those two who challenged the Weasley Twins to come up with a magical-rotation eckle-tricity maker,” electrical generator. “The Daily Pfft says the mudblood has put an eckle-tricity maker and comfy-poofers,” computers, “in the Minister’s office. Muggle comfy-poofers and the Ministry should never be mixed!”

Draco looked round for eavesdroppers, lowered his voice and said, “Somebody should do something about those two. And about Loony.”

Pansy shook her head hard. “Somehow Loony always knows when and where an attack will happen, according to the rumours. Then the would-be assassins get an arrest, a trial within the hour, then the Kiss or the Veil. And if you claim ‘I was Imperiused’ but you’re closely related to a Death Eater, they call you a liar, right there in the courtroom, and you still get quick death. Draco, listen to me: Please don’t do anything foolish.”

Draco No-Name said, “It’s all so unfair. I was supposed to become Lord B”—Draco could not say the name Black—“on my seventeenth birthday. Then I’d become Lord M”—Draco could not say the name Malfoy either—“when Father died. This was supposed to be my life. Not hired to run dangerous errands for Knockturn Alley wankers who don’t care if I get killed or not.”

Pansy No-Name said, “Tell me about it. I was supposed to become Lady P”—Pansy could not say the name Parkinson—“when my own father died. When I wanted money, all I would need to do would be to go to my vault or”—she gave Draco a sideways look—“my husband’s vault, not...” Work in brothels, except now my looks are fading, Pansy did not say.

Draco said, “You always can sell your blood for Dark-magic rituals. It’s what I do when my coins are few.”

Pansy No-Name looked at Draco, Draco No-Name looked at Pansy, and their faces said it all.

Pansy was a whore now, a literal whore. Worse, she was a whore whom nobody wanted to hire anymore.

Draco’s left hand had not been part of his body for eleven years.

All was shit.

****

AUTHOR’S NOTE:
The five who were Karma’d

1. Albus Dumbledore—arrested and extradited by Harry’s Six.

2. Rita Skeeter (Bertha Rita Mouse)—sacked, and her sacking was reported on Page 1 of the Daily Prophet, because she refused to confirm that Harry, Hermione and Luna had sworn oaths on their magic.

3. Ron Weasley—Harry Potter explicitly ended Harry’s friendship with Ron; then Parvati Patil reported to the Prophet, verbatim, the two former friends’ argument.

4. Draco No-Name—disowned from House Malfoy by Lord Malfoy (Harry) and from House Black by Lord Black (Harry).

5. Pansy No-Name—disowned from House Parkinson by Lady Parkinson (Hermione).

Four who are not on the “Karma’d” list

A. Cornelius Fudge—he was no-confidenced after the Battle of the Ministry Atrium, but none of Harry’s Six were active in removing Fudge from office.

B. Ginny Weasley—during the argument between Harry and Ron in Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, Ginny sided with Harry, not with Ron.

C. Molly Weasley—she played only a minor role in this story.

D. Susan Bones—she was fiercely rebuked by her Aunt Amelia, who called her “stupid”; but the only witness to Amelia’s rebukes was Harry. Susan apologised to Harry afterwards, and Harry forgave her. Twenty-one years later, Susan admired Harry.

The End