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aaron liked the christmas season. previously, he spent every year with aphmau and sylvanna; once aph’s mother had warmed up to him, she made it her mission to make him feel welcome in her home. but he has to admit that, as much as he misses the two right now, spending the season with his family again warmed a spot in his chest.
as he sat surrounded by soft lights, and the faint smell of a cinnamon candle burning away on the coffee table, he feels a familiar, fuzzy warmth envelop him. he hears the last amount of his adult headspace internally sigh and part of aaron can understand why. it’s been happening far too often lately, and, when it started happening after positive stuff, he finally caved and decided to tell his therapist over their weekly facetime a few days ago. amanda didn’t seem to be that concerned about it though, brushing it off as his brain attempting to heal from all that he’s been through this past year in addition to the underlying stress of being around the family that hurt him for so long. however, she did suggest keeping a journal to see if she could spot if it were something else at play and he finds himself agreeing with her.
aaron hears footsteps behind him and a giddy smile graces his face as he recognises them, turning around on the sofa to see rachel. she seems distracted by the bowl in her hands, mixing what looked like cookie dough. aaron briefly takes note of the apron tied around her waist, it being something he had gifted her earlier that morning, and internally giggles at the fact that it was already littered with patches of flour and streaks of butter.
“mama!” he exclaims, causing her to glance up with a look of realisation on her face and it’s quickly replaced with a loving smile. aaron liked her smile; it was pretty and, in a strange way he can’t explain, it reminded him of his childhood.
“hi sweetie,” rachel sets down the bowl on the dining table, and wipes her floured hands down her pants. she knows that she would regret doing that later when she has to clean them but it makes aaron giggle, a beautiful noise that she hadn’t been able to hear in nearly two decades so any chance she got to make him smile, she took it. “are ya busy?”
aaron tilts his head in confusion before shaking his head and pointing at the tv, it showing a paused scene from muppets: a christmas carol. rachel doesn’t respond to him, instead coming to sit down beside him and calling out to his papa and sister, insisting they bring something. a small wave of excitement fills his stomach at the thought that it might be something for him.
a few moments later, both derek and melissa’s footsteps reached his ears, unable to resist the smile that reached his eyes. melissa returns the smile very briefly but aaron diverts his attention away from her as he spots the bag in derek’s hand. it wasn’t big by any means but that fact only peaks his interest. his older sister takes a seat beside him but derek stays standing. he is internally very proud of himself for not freaking out. months ago, the simple idea of derek’s tall frame lingering in front of him, and looking down on him sent his heart racing with anxiety yet now, he just feels happy to see his papa. derek holds out the bag to him silently, his face softening into a rare, gentle smile upon seeing his son’s giddiness.
“we wanted to give you it earlier but we… couldn’t really find the time,” rachel explains. “you’ll see why.”
her explanation only adds to his curiosity though it also stirred up a feeling of uneasiness in his stomach. more often than not, gifts from his family came with strings attached. his first phone, for instance, was a gesture of goodwill for a while, to help him feel like a real teenager, but it came with strict boundaries which eventually led to its destruction when he dared to push them. gifts from them were always a trap, ones that aaron had learned to navigate carefully long ago.
but something about the warmth in their eyes, and the air’s lack of tension makes him believe this is different. that, just this once, this was a gift with no strings, no rules, no catch. that this gift was genuine.
aaron hesitantly opens the bag, and only when he can feel fur graze his hand does he break eye contact. his hands are gentle as he slides it from the bag, almost like he was wary of his own hands. upon seeing it, aaron falls silent, his breath hitching and tears welling up in his eyes.
it was a stuffed animal. a brown dog to be specific, with long ears that reached down its back, and a small knit sweater on its torso. a piece of paper had come out of the bag alongside it, sitting in his hand behind the plush. aaron’s eyes linger on the paper for a brief moment before deciding to flip it over. it was a mock birth certificate with a blank space where a name should be, a date of birth, who it belonged to, and directly at the bottom, saying the stuffed animal was “stuffed with love by mama & papa”. the tears in his eyes threaten to spill and he takes a breath to speak but quickly snaps his jaw shut, struggling to find the words that can describe his feelings.
“it was dad’s idea,” melissa says. that makes sense to aaron; his father always preferred showing his love through gifts and actions as he often struggled with verbalising it. for once, aaron can relate to him. “he wanted to do it the second you woke up so you wouldn’t feel lonely when we had to leave the hospital for the night.”
aaron looks up towards derek, only to find his face flushed with embarrassment at being outed, but instead of mentioning it or finding it silly, aaron just grins at him, it being the widest smile he’s had in a long time.
“do you like it, honey?” he hears rachel say but aaron does not look at her.
“i love her,” he doesn’t break eye contact with derek as he speaks. “thank you.” aaron means it toward everyone but the look in his eyes tells derek all he needs to know.