Work Text:
It was never meant to end like this.
That's what they all say.
He did all of it to save her. What a turn of events.
It's all her fault. It's her fault everything happened, everything went down, everyone died. Jaeho, Yoocheol, Changhyun, Seokyoon-
Nothing would've happened if it wasn't for her. He wouldn't have to do that. He wouldn't have to kill. Not anyone, not him. He wouldn't.
It's warmer than he remembers; well, he doesn't remember much. Not from that night, no more than-
"You are the greatest masterpiece I've ever created."
A splatter gets close to his eye, uncomfortably so. He has to stop, take a breath, close his eyes for a moment, nothing but silence in the room helping him calm down. He sees what he always sees when he lets himself rest for shortest of moments; the eyes that had haunted him even before it all started, he believes. There's no chance they'd be buried so deep in his mind if he hasn't felt their stare before. He believes so, Joonghwa can say whatever she wants, he has learned only to trust himself. He knows, he's been stupid before, thinking anyone 'knows' better than him. He taught him, in many ways, and he would never betray him like everyone before has. No, not him, anyone but him, but not-
Silence is broken by one, pathetic gurgle. It's something he never understood, how he could've enjoyed all the begging and moaning and... no, he preferred silence. No disturbances.
"Jieun." he says, a scowl on his face. God, is she irritating him more than ever before, more than when she tried to tell him he was wrong, that he was going insane. If anything, it's her fault. Yeah, that's it. It's all Jieun's fault. No survival skills, none at all. It's her who walked right into his trap, it's her who forced him to come back, it's her whose fault it is, all of it, everything that happened.
"You're pissing me off, Jieun."
The new cut is deep, deeper than the ones before. Stubborn, like she was back then. Always against him, always the core of his problems.
The blood gushes all over his hand, unpleasantly warm. He preferred it like it was before, cold like their souls have been. Maybe it has to do with that - with what kind of a person your are, good or bad, but... Ah, no way. Jieun wasn't better than any of them. She's the reason they all died, every single one of them. Yeah, if it wasn't for her, he would've never have to come back. No, he wouldn't, and the world would keep spinning, and Eden would keep standing. They all would've died sooner or later, he's more than sure of that, he would never let them escape further than Eden, no. Even if it wasn't for him, they would've died, and he can't even call it the 'sad reality', because he there's a cruel twitch of his lips at the mere thought.
But he wouldn't be the one to do it if it wasn't for her. It's her fault he's the one who killed them, that he got his hands dirty only to save her pathetic being.
"You've done it all to save her, and look now."
He scowls again, shaking his head. "Shut up," he sits up, cracking his neck, rolling his shoulders. It's exhausting to stay in the position for so long. He moves back slightly, trying to avoid staining his pants. "I'm working."
The laughter echoes around and he has to shake his head again, hoping it's only in his imagination. It always happens at the worst moments, never when he asks. He never listens. He does what he wants to.
"Who thought you'd care so much?"
"I don't." he stops himself at the last moment to wipe his face with his hand. Would only complicate things, he needs to watch himself. "I don't care."
"I thought you hated them."
"I did." he looks down, head tilting subconsciously. She looks so much different than back then. He was so stupid not to see the difference between death and sleep. "I do." he corrects himself.
"You don't if you get so mad over them."
He scoffs, catches himself looking up. "I'm not." his gaze drifts back down, pondering. Another stab, to the other side, just for good measure, because even if, it won't change anything. "I'm not mad over them."
The grin is vivid, familiar, as if it's right in front of his face. Drilled into his memory. In a crude way, soothing.
"Over me, then?"
"No." he spats immediately. Admitting would be like letting out everything he fought so hard to keep hidden from himself. "Seokyoon."
When no response comes, he closes his eyes again. Lets himself sink for a while, get his mind to calm down, get rid of all the adrenaline. Yeah, Seokyoon. It's her fault too. Right? Yeah, definitely. If she'd only listen to him, if she didn't fight with him that day...
He's sad about Seokyoon the most, he thinks. But he tried to warn him, hell, he tried to warn e v e r y o n e. Seokyoon can blame himself if anything. He told him to be careful, not to snoop around, to run away, leave it be.
Doesn't soothe the uncomfortable pain in his chest though. He can't bring himself to it, he's not like-
"You could've saved him."
"Shut up asshole, before I kill you."
There is an answer, he knows there is an answer, but he blocks it out. He doesn't want to listen, it's better if he doesn't. Learned the hard way.
"Ahh, what am I supposed to do now?" it's louder, breaking the silence, helping him to feel more at ease. He's not speaking to him, it's just more comforting to talk. Makes him feel as if he isn't all alone. Everyone left him, and it's all Jieun's fault.
It was easier for him, wasn't it? Having all those people around him to help him, leaving him only the pleasant part. His knees crack when he stands up. Pleasant?
What was his plan? Quite obvious he didn't intend on letting them ever leave Eden, whether it be by his own hands or Jongwoo's.
Would he pick him?
Would he?
"Oh, honey."
What to do. What to do, what to do? What would he...
"What would you do?"
"I can't help you."
"Asshole."
Of course he can't, he never faced the aftermath. The time he did, he-
"You are the greatest masterpiece I've ever created."
He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have, but God, he couldn't stand looking at her face. Traitor, taking away everything from him, causing the only one who believed him to leave
"Really, Jieun, even now you bring only more problems."
They'll know. Obviously, he should've been smarter, he writes about that stuff for Christ's sake. He lived it.
"You fucked up because you did it messily."
"Shut up."
"They already suspect it was you. You've got lucky before, but she's still got her eye on you."
He can't exactly do it like him. Asshole. Maybe his new book should be about a serial killer dentist. Cannibal. Interesting perspective. He knows it more than well enough.
"You could if-"
"I'm not you."
It needs to be established. Before things spiral; more than they've done already.
He's never had to drag a body before. It's uncomfortable, to be bent like that, and it's all her own fault. Warmth escapes quickly, his hands feel clammy. Lips tight, mind focused.
What to do? Ah, what to do...
He's not usually this impulsive.
What did they do? He'd kill to have a team ready to help him like he had.
Yeah, he knows already he's not above that.
Jieun thumps against the cold tiles, sound echoing in darkness. Silence for a few moments, shuffling, click. Light illuminates the room, his face is pressed right against the mirror.
There are eyes staring back at him. Dark, unreadable like they've always been.
"Baby..."
It escapes his mind, out into the thickness of the reality of his world. Endless cycle, he'll never escape. It started the moment he stepped into that damn residence, maybe when he came to Seoul, hell, maybe it was always meant to come out this way.
"There's too many of us in this world."
Maybe he's just like him. Maybe he always has been.
Twin grins, twin dull eyes. Twin minds.
"It's better to say what you want and do what you want to do."
"That's more human."
"Right, honey."
The greatest masterpiece ever created.
Maybe he is.
Hell.