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“You ready?” Dazai looks over to his red headed partner.
“I was ready years ago.” Chuuya fixes his gloves and cracks his knuckles.
“‘Bout time.”
In the White House…
“Mr president! There’s been a security breach! We’re transferring you to the bunker, hurry-!”
“Actually.” A new voice broke through the room. Two figures appeared, stepping into the Oval Office.
The shorter one speaks first, “there’s been a change in plans.”
“Wh-what?!” Trump sputters confused, while his secretary hides under a table.
“You may go, Miss.” Dazai smiles at her. “This is our buisness. Unless you want to come back after and commit-“
Chuuya hits him upside the head, “forget that! Focus on the weasel.”
The secretary promptly leaves as trump attempts to defend himself.
“Weasel?! I’ll show y-“
Chuuya touches his shoulder and before the orange man could think of a lame insult he was knocked into the ground from excessive gravity.
“Good going chibi! His voice is so annoying.”
“Y’know what’s more annoying? *Your* voice-!”
“Ack get away!”
Trump managed to stand back up while the anime men argued.
“You’re no match for ME. I’ll just use my secret weapon..”
“Hm? You never said anything about a secret weapon.” Dazai says to Chuuya, who glances at him with equal confusion.
Trump pulls something small and shiny out of his stupid anti-abortion pockets.
He moves the object up to his minority hating mouth, and that is when the anime men realized what it was.
“A whistle?” Dazai says confused.
Trump laughs, “a *dog* whistle!!!” He blows on it and an army of dogs runs in.
“EAT THEM!” Trump commands, his fist raised in the air and pointed at them.
Chuuya and Dazai tense for a moment, ready to fight…until Trump’s smile slowly drops, as does his pointed finger.
“Huh..what..”
The dogs didn’t even look at the somehow 2 dimensional anime men in the room.
They were looking straight at the orange man.
“No..no..I HATE DOGS!!!” The dogs attack, knocking orange man to the ground once again, this time with no hope of getting back up.
“I’ve got reinforcements!” Says a familiar voice from behind. Trump’s ex secretary walks back into the room, holding a length of rope and leading a group of people behind her.
“So you did come back!” Dazai remarks.
“Give that to me.” Chuuya takes the rope and ties up Trump, not giving him an inch to wiggle, not even his transphobic toes.
“We did it Chu, we saved the country.”
The only thing Trump could move was his jaw, for now…
He furiously rants, “alphas don’t do this to other alphas! What kinda men are you?! What about the American dream??! What about my- wait no…”
Trumps worst nightmares were coming true.
The two men joined hands.
“We’ll show you an America dream.” Said Chuuya.
“*The* American dream.” Dazai adds.
“No it can’t be..you’re..you’re..”
“Say it weasel, say what we are.”
“You’re-“
The two men leaned in…and kissed.
“You’re homosexuals!!!” Trump watched in horror. He was stunned, giving the group led by the secretary a chance to pick up his bound body and put him in the nearest trash can, then mailing the trash can to Pluto, then blowing up Pluto. Then apologizing to Pluto…
Years later….
Thanks to the efforts of the anime men, America, now led by a trans-black-lesbian-woman, has reached the pinnacle of peace. Every tv is filled with gay propaganda, every child is corrupted with The Queer before they even hit puberty.
It became a country Trump would hate.
And that was wonderful.