Work Text:
TITLE: Boyfriend Haul & Tag ft. Ninja Shoyo
The screen is moving around fast while two voices laugh off camera.
“Why is this part necessary again?”
“Because the tag is already old as [BLEEP], I have to add something more trendy so youtube doesn’t think I posted this on 2017”
“But we already did this for Tiktok, can’t you just add that at the beginning of the video?”
“No, because I’ve think of more jokes I wanna say”
“I think this is called exploitation”
“[BLEEP] of Shoyo. Stay still”
A hard cut and Kenma is now in video. He’s wearing pajama pants and a shirt that is way too big on him with the MSBY Black Jackals logo and a big white 21 on the chest. He looks straight at the camera with a deadpan face.
“Hey everyone, welcome back to my channel. Today I’m doing a boyfriend haul”
He reaches out of frame and pulls Shoyo to his side. He is still a little bit shorter than Kenma, but clearly stronger. Shoyo is biting his lip to keep himself from laughing.
“So, this is my boyfriend. I have the 1,71 meters tall one, this was the tallest version I could get”
“Hey!”
Kenma ignores Shoyo’s reaction and grabs his arm.
“He has some design upgrades, such as a beach tan and a tattoo”
Kenma turns Hinata’s arm and shows to the screen the hard ink tattoo of a crow in Shoyo’s inner forearm, right under his elbow articulation.
“Unfortunately, they were out of ones with college degrees–”
“Kenma!”
“–but as a compensation, this is an exclusive and weird polyglot version”
Shoyo hides his laugh behind some fake coughs and clears his throat before speaking in a robotic voice.
“I love my boyfriend. Eu amo meu namorado. Si estás viendo esto, por favor ayúdame”
“You said something different at the end”
Kenma turned to his boyfriend with an offender expression on his face.
“No I didn’t"
“Yes, you did, I know that ´novio´ means ´boyfriend´ and you didn’t use that word, so I know you said something else”
“Who is the polyglot here, you or me?”
“I know how to say ´boyfriend´ in six different languages, Shoyo, don’t be smart with me. Also, why the hell do you talk like Wall-E?”
Hard cut to a black screen with some white text. ´this was filmed with full consent from everyone (including my clown boyfriend)´
Jump cut. Now the camera is in front of Kenma’s usual setup, filled with color-changing lights and anime merch on the walls. Kenma is sitting in his gamer chair, while Shoyo has brought what looks like a kitchen one to sit beside him. They’re both looking at Kenma’s phone.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this shit” Kenma says “I watched youtubers do this after their coming out videos when I was still in fucking highschool”
“Stop cursing so much, you’ll get demonetized”
“Have you ever watched my gameplays?”
Shoyo laughs and Kenma looks fondly at him. Jump cut. Now they’re both looking at the camera.
“Hi again, Kodzuken here. As you may know if you are a regular of my channel or if you watched the introduction to this video, I have a boyfriend”
Kenma places his hand under Shoyo’s chin and the ginger smiles brightly.
“You guys have been begging for a Boyfriend Tag ever since forever, and since Shoyo is back from nationals (which he won, by the way) I figured we should finally do it”
“It sounded fun! I like talking about my relationship even though I don’t get to do it much”
Kenma blushes a bit and hides it by looking down to his phone.
“I do it for the views”
Jump cut
“First question, where did we meet?”
“We were both part of our school’s volleyball teams and we went to a training camp together”
“I was actually trying to hide from my best friend so I wouldn’t have to train, but Shoyo found me”
“You found me, actually. I was lost” Hinata leans into Kenma to tease him “It was destiny~”
“Thirty minutes without cheesy shit, Shoyo, that’s all I’m asking for”
Shoyo laughs. Jump cut.
“Where was our first date?”
“It depends”
“On what?”
“When we were already together or the one where I confessed counts?”
Kenma smiles softly, clearly remembering both of those times.
“The one when we were already together” he says, reaching to hold Shoyo’s hand.
“I took him to an aquarium in Rio de Janeiro. I was living there at the moment and Kenma went there to visit”
“I think that is one of the gayest dates ever”
Shoyo shrugs.
“I waited for so long, I guess the gayness just spilled out of me”
Jump cut.
“Question number three, when did you meet my family?”
“During second year, I think, when you started to invite me to your house. All though, I later realized I had already see them on nationals during our first year, but I don’t think that counts as meeting them”
“Yeah, same. I think I meet your sister first, though”
“Oh yeah! That time I took her to one of your matches because I had to babysit her but I wanted to watch you play”
Jump cut.
“This one is cliche, who said ´I love you´ first?”
“You”
“Yeah. It was the day he came back for good from Brazil. I went to pick him up from the airport and we hadn’t seen each other in so long, so when I finally spotted him and we hugged it kind of slipped”
“You were bright red”
“So where you"
“I was sunkissed”
Kenma rolled his eyes.
“Whatever”
“I was shocked because Kenma wasn’t that good with feeling back then and I was almost sure I was gonna say the one to say it first"
“I can’t let you win that easily”
Kenma is looking at his phone, but Hinata turns to look at him with love. On the bottom of the screen the hold in their hands tightens for a bit. Jump cut.
“I lost count already, weird habit of each other? Shit, Shoyo wakes up at 6 AM even on weekends”
“That does not count!”
“Fine, Shoyo has to do EVERYTHING with music ever since he came back from Brazil. Like, you already were noisy before, but now you are unstoppable”
“There was always music everywhere I went there, I guess it kinda rubbed on me. For you… you like to sit in really weird places. Like in the top of the counter, the space between the couch and the balcony, that kind of stuff”
“Normal chairs bore me"
“Kitty Kenma”
“Shut the hell up”
Jump cut.
“Favorite feature of each other?”
“Physically?”
“Yeah”
Shoyo smiles devilishly
“[BLEEP]”
Kenma turns completely red and hits his boyfriend on the head with a pillow
“I’m not putting that on the internet you pervert!!”
Jump cut. Shoyo is still giggling and Kenma’s blush is still visible.
“Say something else”
“Second favorite?”
“I hate you so much”
Shoyo giggles. It’s obvious that he loves to mess up with Kenma.
“Fiiiine. If not [BLEEP] I guess I’ll have to say… hair”
“Really?”
“It’s really pretty! Especially now that is long”
As to prove his point, Shoto pulls a strand of hair away from Kenma’s face and places it behind his ear. His hand lingers on Kenma’s cheek for a bit long before pulling out.
“Yours?”
“I like your shoulders”
“What?”
“Next question”
Jump cut.
“What do we argue about the most?”
“The other overworking himself and bedtime”
“You get up way too early”
“You go to bed way too late”
Jump cut.
“Something I’m not good at? You suck at time managing”
“Yeah, I do. I wish I knew how to keep a calendar and schedule like Kenma does"
“Disadvantages of being my own boss, I had to learn how to do it. What about me?”
Kenma’s expression shifted a bit to a more worried one and looked away from Shoyo, but Hinata only smiled and turned his head by his chin to give him a sweet kiss.
“Taking care of yourself” he turned to the camera, his fingers still caressing Kenma’s face “Kenma does a lot of things. He sponsors me as a volleyball player, has his own company, is a stock trader, manages all his social media stuff and somehow still manages to go live every single night and post two videos per month. Is easy for him to forget he is human and needs to have proper meals and sleep, but I am here to remind him so not problem”
Kenma smiles shyly at the sweet words but still leans into Hinata’s shoulder. Jump cut.
“Okay, last one because the rest of the questions are stupid, nicknames for eachother?”
“I call him kitty sometimes to piss him off. On a daily basis I mostly use ´babe´ and ´anjo´”
“He’s cheesy enough to call me things in other languages. I mostly just use ´Sho´”
Jump cut.
“This ended up being so much longer than I expected”
Kenma casually scoots his chair closer to Shoyo and puts his legs on Hinata’s lap, who immediately places his hands on his legs.
“I'll die of cringe editing this. Anyways, this is all for today’s video. If you liked, remember to like, subscribe and check on my Twitch, where I stream everyday at 9 PM japanese time" Kenma did the outro with his head still on Shoyo's shoulder "Also, go check out Shoyo’s channel, Ninja Shoyo. We usually don’t do videos like this but if you beg properly we may deliver”
“See ya!” Shoyo waves at the camera.
Right before the screen goes black, it is visible how Kenma gets out of his chair to fully sit on Shoyo’s lap.
COMMENTS
str4wberryuser: i waited for this video for years!!
msbymom: no one is going to talk about the fact that Kodzuken was wearing Ninja Shoyo’s shirt the whole video?!?!
kodzufan: okay guys i’ve rewatched the clips around 20 times and i am almost sure that Shoyo said “thighs” at the bleeped answer
harukii: i saw it too but he says something else first that i can make out
KODZUKEN: don’t ask questions you don’t wanna know
kodzufan: BUT WE WANNA KNOW!1!!