Work Text:
It will be okay.
Benji knew that, life continues. You have to move on, not looking at the past. Especially as an agent, you cannot freeze. And did he tried. At missions it was surprisingly easier. Do what you were asked for and you’re done. But at night, when it was silent, and he was alone. It was something else. The memories come back. Every single one he tried to push deep down into his mind, it came back.
He knew what he should do, and he did everything his therapist told him, nothing helped. Worst part was he knew why.
Once his therapist told him: “I understand why you’re not fully honest to me, but you need honest to someone, at least to yourself”
So here he was. Sitting at the bed, after trying fall asleep for hours, staring at the Ethan contact, deciding if he should just tell the truth.
“It will be okay” Benji thought. Ethan won’t cut him off, not like his parents. “It will be okay… Everything i will be okay. That’s at least what Jane always saying.
“Fuck it” benji said and push the call button. It ranged for two times then Ethan sweet voice came:
“Uh hey Benji” He could hear the tiredness and suprise in Ethan’s voice.
“Everything alright?”
“Sorry if I wake you up”
What was he doing ?! Benji didn’t practice what he’s gonna say or how’s he’s gonna say it, and improvisation wasn’t his strong point.
“Yeah, yeah, just, there’s something you should, know, yeah, I..I know it’s cowerdise of me, saying it through phone, but uhm…
Benji went silent, what the fuck was he doing, but now it was too late
“Okay” he could hear on the other line how patiently is Ethan waiting.
“I kind of, no not kind of, I do like you a lot, not just you know friend way, I know it was very very obvious, I-i thought you should know that, I-i hope it’s you know, okay with you….
Fine, it’s fine, deep breath, in and out, in and out.
It was weird, it felt like he was 17 again, explaining his parents, that his “girlfriend” isn’t Daniela, but it’s actually his boyfriend Danny, but he was adult now. Ethan couldn’t get kick him out from his own home.
“Oh” come after while from other line “well it wasn’t obvious to” Ethan continued and chuckled? Did benji heard that right ?
“To be honest, I thought it was obvious that I like like you too”
“You, you do?”
“Yeah” Ethan chuckled again
“So what are we gonna do now?” Benji asked after while.
Everyone knows that dating between agents is not good idea, especially Ethan know that.
Benji could hear sigh from Ethan side.
“Honestly after Julia, I decided I won’t let happen this again, but after seeing her again, and that she is happy and continued her life, I realised I’ve been doing this job for so long, lost so many people I loved and eventually lose more, and you…
Ethan sighed again.
Benji didn’t even realised he was holding breath. In and out. In and out, he remained himself.
“So… If I asked you out, you would say yes?” Benji asked after while.
“Oh yes, I would definitely said yes” Ethan chuckled.
“Oh okay” Benji chuckled as well. “So Ethan, would you like going on a date with me tomorrow?”
Benji wasn’t even believing he was actually asking that question,
“Yes, that sounds amazing Benj, see you at work and after” Ethan chuckled and hung up the call.
Benji was speechless. He’s going on a date with Ethan Hunt tomorrow. It was repeating in his head all over. Then big smile appeared on his face. Went to his contacts and change Ethan’s name to E💛
Laid in his bed, thinking of tomorrow, of this night. Before he fall asleep he thought yeah it will be okay, everything will be okay