Chapter Text
It had been a few days now since the eliminated contestants had been released, with a great deal of hilarity coming from the fact that there were now two identical nickels with completely different personalities dwelling in the hotel. However, this had absolutely nothing to do with what Golf Ball and Tennis Ball were doing at the current moment. They were hiding in a clump of bushes and watching something, much to the annoyance of their teammates.
Donut came walking over to the bush in a huff. “Okay, seriously, what are you two doing? Get out of the bushes, Golf Ball, we need to work on our strategy for the next challenge.”
“Go away, Donut! We are VERY busy right now!” Golf Ball said, annoyed.
“Is this what qualifies as a date for the two of you?” Donut asked.
“Shh!” Tennis Ball hissed. “Don’t let them know we’re here!”
“Let who know you’re here? What are you- “
“Shh!” TB said again, dragging Donut into the bushes and shoving a pair of binoculars in his face. “Look!”
Donut reluctantly peered through the binoculars and was met with the sight of Four and X standing idly out in the field, with a bush between them on the ground. Four looked utterly bored out of his mind. X had a blank expression on their face.
“Okay, all I see is Four and X just standing there.”
“Yes, exactly.” Golf Ball said. “They have been doing that for over three hours.”
“…So? They do weird stuff all the time!” Donut said.
“This is different.” Golf Ball insisted. “I overheard them saying something earlier which has led me to believe that this is some sort of Algebralien courtship ritual! Such a thing has never been witnessed by objectkind before!”
“…Courtship ritual?” Donut gave her a befuddled look.
“Yes, exactly! We’re doing scientific observations of it! The four of us will be able to co-author a research paper based on our findings.” Tennis Ball said proudly.
“Four of you?”
“TB convinced me to allow Basketball and one of the newcomers to join in our observations.” Golf Ball admitted. “Apparently the paper will be considered more credible if it has more authors, or something.”
Truthfully, Tennis Ball was just trying to encourage her to socialize a bit more with others.
“One of the newcomers?” Donut said. He was promptly startled when a glass vial containing some sort of green liquid peered out from deeper in the copse of bushes. “Gah!”
“Shh! Don’t startle them!” The vial said. “We didn’t have these back in our universe.”
“Donut, this is Test Tube.” Tennis Ball said as Golf Ball began frantically jotting down observations in response to Four simply scratching himself for a few moments. “Also, Donut, why are your arms missing again?”
“I was only renting them from Yellow Face.”
“TB! Look!” Golf Ball said suddenly. “Something’s happening!”
Peering out of the bush, Tennis Ball was able to see that the two Algebraliens were no longer standing on opposite sides of the bush. Rather, they were both searching around in the tall grasses.
“What are they looking for?” Test Tube pondered.
Her question was answered a moment later when X triumphantly lifted something oval-shaped and green out of a clump of grass a few feet away from where they had previously been standing.
“Four, look! It worked! We multiplied!” They said.
“…Multiplied?” Tennis Ball said, sounding rather stunned.
“I…initially assumed they reproduced via stork-calling like we do…” Golf Ball said, equally shocked.
“…Oookay, I’m gonna go see if Two can wipe my memories or something.” Donut said, walking away.
“Fascinating! That’s the second species of aliens I’ve encountered that hatches from eggs!” Test Tube said, apparently unbothered by the fact that she’d just witnessed something that was more than likely considerably more private than any of the objects had realized.
“Did that egg…come out of one of them…?” TB muttered.
“No, it’s like it just magically spawned in…” GB replied. “I swear, Algebraliens get stranger and stranger the more we learn about them.”
Later that day…
“Four, stop screeching at everyone who so much as looks at your egg wrong.” Two said, annoyed. “Or who simply goes near it. Nobody’s going to hurt it, I promise.”
“…Well, except for maybe Pillow, I wouldn’t put it past her at this point.”
“Also the kitchen isn’t a nursery.”
Four had assembled a crude nest out of paper towels and dishrags, and was currently standing over it warily like they feared some sort of nest-raider would sneak in and snatch up their unborn child.
“Four, you can take a break now, it’s my turn on nest duty!” X said, putting down the dishes they had been scrubbing. “Your turn for dish duty!”
Four reluctantly stepped away from the nest and walked over to the sink, casting a suspicious glare at Two as they passed. “Touch it and perish.” He snarled.
“Don’t mind Foury…you know how he is.” X said to Two. “At least he didn’t screech at your co-host when he came in here a few minutes ago.”
“MePhone was in here? He wasn’t stress-eating again, right?”
“Kind of hard to tell when he’s always so stressed we can smell his circuits overheating.” X said. “He did the weirdest thing though. He was going for the fridge but then he noticed the egg and he just…stopped and stared at it for 10 seconds with this…weird distant look on his face. Then he just ran off.”
“Huh.” Two said.
“Also that red fan keeps coming in here and looking longingly at the egg.” X added. “Can you tell him to stop, it’s getting kind of weird.”
“Man, seeing that egg makes me miss the baby Shimmer…” Fan said quietly. “I hope the little guy is okay…”
“I’m sure they and the rest of the Shimmers are safe, Fan.” Test Tube said.
“…Yeah, except for that lost egg.” Fan sighed. “The poor thing.”
“Something about your theory doesn’t quite line up, though…” Test Tube remarked, putting down the notebook she had been writing in. “MePhone’s original body was destroyed at the end of Season One, remember?”
“Well, yeah, but…remember when his battery died and we had to steal another one from Meeple…and Toilet also stole that white wire?”
“…You think the wire was what was made out of the egg?”
“Not just the wire…why would MePhone be able to contract an illness from Tissues to begin with? He’s a robot…”
“…What if the battery wasn’t broken, but his body was-“
“Was missing something it needed to survive for very long?” Test Tube finished the thought for him. “Yeah, but…why would MePhone need that specific wire in order to survive?”
“…I…noticed something in the kitchen earlier.” Fan said awkwardly. “I was looking at the egg again…I can’t help it, okay, it reminds me of our little guy a lot…and MePhone went into the kitchen to grab something from the fridge, and then he noticed the egg…and he just stood there and stared at it.”
“…He had the same look in his eyes that he did when all the Gemories were recovered.”
Test Tube pondered the implications of Fan’s words, her eyes widening in horror. “Oh, golly, you don’t think…I know Cobs is evil but…how could someone do something that awful…”
“He already kidnapped and basically murdered a baby, you really think he wouldn’t also skip having to code an AI by somehow turning said baby into one?”
“…But that would mean…if the lost egg is MePhone, then…how old is he? Is he a kid?”
He was actually about 18 by now, but neither of them had any way of knowing this.
“…”
“Fan, no, we are not adopting MePhone. I don’t think he’d be comfortable with that.”
“But he might be just a scared little guy, Test Tube!”
“Fan, we already have Bot. Please don’t start impulse-adopting children.”
“Awww, come on…”
“How would you even accomplish that, anyway. Just go up to MePhone and say, “Hey there, traumatized robot that created us, me and Test Tube are gonna adopt you as our son! Hope you’re okay with that!” or something?”
“…Kind of? I’d have phrased it a little differently but…”
“Oh my God, Fan…empty nest syndrome is really hitting you hard, isn’t it?” Test Tube said with a sigh. “Bot still lives with us, you know.”
“It’s not really empty nest syndrome, it’s more like…I can’t just leave a kid in need alone like that…it’s like I have this…overwhelming paternal instinct or something, I guess.”
Being the co-host of TPOT was strange. MePhone had been able to manage until the challenge was underway, at which point he had to excuse himself and walk away so he could have room to breathe. The challenge today had quickly devolved into a literal massacre, and all the death and dying just…made him feel very uncomfortable. After seeing his contestants being deleted, life just seemed so much more fragile to MePhone, and watching Two’s contestants repeatedly get killed in gruesome ways without seeming even remotely bothered had made him nauseous.
Then there was the matter of the egg in the kitchen. Something about it seemed almost familiar to him. Like it was reminding him of something that he was supposed to remember, but for one reason or another, he simply couldn’t.
Presently, MePhone was lying on the floor of what had apparently been a steakhouse at some point in the past. The roof of the building had been torn away in a hurricane, and he had a good view of the blue skies above.
His view was abruptly obscured by another object looking down at him, blocking out the sun and scaring him half to death. “Gah!” MePhone shouted, covering his face with his arms.
“Sorry, I heard there was another mechanical mind here and I wanted to introduce myself.” The object, a TV remote who MePhone recognized as one of the eliminated contestants Two had released, said. She had a strange, extremely artificial sounding voice. “I’m Remote! What’s your name?”
“Uh…MePhone. MePhone4…” He stammered, caught off-guard by this sudden act of friendliness from a complete stranger.
“Did you meet TV and Robot Flower yet? TV and I never really hung out that much and I don’t actually get along very well with Robot Flower, but they’re also robotic. Roboty used to be here too but he got blown away by the hurricane after escaping the EXIT.”
“…Uh, can you maybe slow down a little…that’s a lot to take in…”
“Sorry.”
MePhone figured Remote would leave soon enough, but she didn’t. Instead, she sat down on the floor next to him.
“Um…do you need something from me?” He asked her awkwardly.
“…can you still generate stuff? I heard you could do that.”
“…Uh…maybe? I doubt it…” There was no MeLife here, after all.
“Can you try and generate some batteries?”
“…Sure, I guess…what kind?”
“…The magenta kind.”
“…I mean like AA, AAA, D, C, that kind of thing.”
Remote just gave MePhone a confused look.
MePhone returned to the hotel a few hours later, after the challenge had wrapped up. His attempt to generate some batteries had, somehow, been successful. He wasn’t sure how to feel about this, though, and once again he headed to the kitchen in hopes of snagging some comfort food. Sure, since his generation abilities somehow still worked, he could have just generated a snack, but he’d gotten used to using the kitchen over the past few days.
The kitchen was quiet, currently, and only Four was present. The makeshift nest was still present and the blue Algebralien was once again looming over his unhatched offspring protectively. They watched MePhone warily as he made his way over to the refrigerator. He looked back at them fearfully, before his eyes drifted to the egg. It kind of reminded him of that egg Fan had carried around for a while. He’d never paid much mind to that egg, but now, the longer he thought about it, the more he felt like…it was something he should have recognized.
“What do you want?” Four’s irritated words snapped MePhone back into reality.
“Uh…I just…came here to grab a snack…you got any cookies or ice cream or cake or something…”
“There’s ice cream in the freezer.” Four said curtly. “Take it and leave the kitchen.”
MePhone opened up the freezer and pulled out a tub of chocolate ice cream. He paused, and stared back at the egg again.
“Why do you keep staring at our egg?” Four hissed.
“…I don’t know…it just…feels familiar, somehow.”
And with that, he left the kitchen and retreated to his room.
“…I can’t believe we actually sat and watched two aliens…doing that.” Tennis Ball muttered as he and Golf Ball settled in for the evening. Golf Ball seemed distracted; it was clear that her thoughts were not on the strange sight they had witnessed that morning.
“…You’re thinking about the challenge again, aren’t you? Your team still won in the end, Golfie…that’s more than I can say for mine.”
Deep down, Tennis Ball was not happy about this. If Golf Ball ended up winning TPOT, he could only imagine what One would do to her. Or what One would make him do.
“They wasted so much time on the challenge while I was stuck working alone…and then everything blew up in my face…” Golf Ball said with a sigh. “…I hate being on a different team from you, TB…nobody ever wants to even give my ideas a chance.”
“…Well…you made progress with making more friends this morning, at least.”
“I dunno if Basketball and me will ever be friends, Tennis Ball.” Golf Ball sighed, rolling over in bed and pressing her face into TB’s fuzz. “At least Puffball is back…I missed her. And Test Tube was interesting to talk to.”
“…Hey, TB...this is kind of a random question, but…I’ve never seen you fly as long as I’ve known you. You have wings, and they’re clearly adapted for flight, so…why stay on the ground?”
“You know how my left one is at kind of a weird angle?” Tennis Ball said after a moment. “I broke the shoulder when I was a kid and it never healed right. I can’t flex the wing properly so I can only glide a tiny bit.”
“…Ouch.” Golf Ball winced.
“So…why are you ground-bound, Golfie?”
“…My parents never had the chance to teach me…and nobody was around to do so either, so I just…never learned, and now I have wing muscles that are too weak for flight.” She sighed again.
“I never met my father’s spouse, I don’t even remember what gender he said they were, just that they died fighting in the Great Yoyle War before it went nuclear. There weren’t recovery centers back then, so…objects stayed dead for good.”
“…Golf Ball, the Great Yoyle War ended 600 years ago.” Tennis Ball said, confused.
“…It’s a long story…”