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1.
First meeting
Illogically, Viktor falls for Jayce the moment he lays eyes on him.
See, Viktor has always been one to fall for the mind over the physical form. Of course, Jayce’s physical body is certainly quite the sight to behold, his form seeming to be etched from stone by brilliant artisans, his face painstakingly painted by a skilled hand. An added bonus, Viktor figures, to the shining mind overflowing with innovative ideas in his head.
Viktor sees him, sitting there as he and the enforcers rifle through Jayce’s research, gathering evidence that had previously been meant to build a case against the intruder, but is looking more and more incriminating for Jayce the further they go along.
Viktor studies the runes written upon the black board, the absurd equations written in tangles of overlapping lines.
It looks like utter chaos. Madness. Insanity-
No. No, that isn’t right. There is an odd sort of order to the research Jayce had been conducting. A bizarre sort of reason. Mad, yes. Insane?
No. Jayce is a visionary, and Viktor suddenly wants nothing more in the world then to be in on that vision.
He crosses the room, returns to Jayce’s hunched form. Introduces himself, appraising Jayce all the while. Watches as the boy squirms in his chair.
They pack things up after a while, Jayce being brought in for questioning, his research confiscated for the time being. Viktor knows he should be paying closer attention to what’s going on around him, should be taking his role of assistant more seriously, if he ever hopes to rise above his station.
But no matter what he does to concentrate, he can’t get Jayce out of his mind the rest of the day.
He watches the trial unfold, soaking in every piece of information he learns about Jayce, filing it away in his mind. The more he learns, the more desperate he becomes to get to know the student, to share his thoughts on his research, to pick his mind and calculate the results.
When he’s banished from the university, panic latches its claws into Viktor’s heart. The thought of so much research going to waste- of all the possibilities thrown down the drain- he shakes his head, pleading with himself not to do anything rash.
Of course, his pleadings were all for naught, his curiosity driving him onward as he returns to Jayce’s apartment, as he intercepts the boy, as he offers to assist him in his research.
An infestation seems to have started in his mind, a new fixation for Viktor to pore over, a fascinating equation just begging for his attention.
And Viktor cannot stop until an equation is solved.
2.
Heimerdinger’s lab
Viktor feels like his limbs are on fire, though nothing is painful about what he is experiencing. Every fiber in his being is singing, every neuron sparking, every cell bursting.
His heart is pounding a mile a minute. He feels as though he is high, feels as though the world is an abstract concept, that he is a god in his own right, with everything around him simple pieces he can use for his will.
It worked. It actually worked.
His eyes meet Jayce’s from across the room, the two of them floating in the midst of Heimerdinger’s office, pages of research lilting in the air between them.
Jayce laughs then, the sound echoing in Viktor’s ears. His new partner’s face is absolutely radiant, brilliant in its glow. Viktor almost feels the need to look away.
He doesn’t.
Instead, he drinks Jayce in like a man dying of thirst. In an instant, everything within his mind seems to rewrite itself, a new axis formed for him to spin around.
He knows now, no matter what happens to the two of them- no matter where their research takes them, no matter what challenges and roadblocks they face- the two of them are impossibly intertwined. Viktor’s path is woven within Jayce’s, their stories merging to be one and the same.
And Viktor intends to see this story out to its end.
Warmth bubbles in his core at the thought, spreads like honey through his mind as he watches Jayce float through the air, laughing as Heimerdinger bursts through the doors, his furry face awash with disbelief.
They’ve done it. They’ve really, truly done it. The world cannot possibly be the same after tonight, and Viktor and Jayce will be at the center of its revolution.
As the realization spreads throughout the room, everyone’s eyes are upon the HexTech, but Viktor’s are honed in on Jayce alone.
——
Time passes. Jayce and Viktor fall into a steady rhythm of research and development, the two of them working together almost perfectly. Like clockwork, they fit together like matching pieces of a puzzle.
Viktor tries not to dwell on it, but something lights him up from the inside out every time Jayce flashes him with a smile, every time he praises him for his work, every time he slides a hand to the small of his back, leaning in close to peer over Viktor’s shoulder.
He doesn’t give himself time to pick apart the feeling, too focused on their discoveries to mind much else, too devoted to their research to spend time hypothesizing of that which lies in his own skin.
There’s no denying it though. Something dances around him whenever he interacts with Jayce, something that pulls him closer to the boy, begs him to orbit his existence. It’s beyond a superficial fascination, beyond the initial curiosity that had tugged him closer to Jayce at the start.
Whatever is occurring in Viktor’s chest is much more primal, much more raw.
He wonders if he’ll ever find the time to puzzle it out.
3.
Medical wing
The darkness has a sort of comfort to it. A sort of quiet that Viktor has grown to like, a peaceful reprieve from the pain of his everyday existence.
Except- the pain is still here, is growing stronger with every passing moment. It appears that Viktor won’t be allowed to rest for long. Fortune never has shown a liking to him, after all.
Everything aches. Viktor’s mind feels full of sludge, his lungs filled with barbs. Every breath cuts into them, forces them deeper in his chest, till he’s gasping and aching and is fairly certain he’s drowning.
Something pushes his consciousness towards waking. Something tugs him insistently along, forcing him to keep up as it nears and nears the surface-
Viktor wakes with a start, his eyes slowly peeling open to drink in his surroundings. Everything burns, the pressure in his chest more acute now that he’s conscious, the throbbing in his head more pronounced.
The room is dark, but he’s fairly certain he’s not in his own room.
He slides his gaze to the side, his suspicion ls confirmed as he makes out a hazy figure hunched in a chair beside him.
“Jayce…?”
His voice is pitifully weak. Viktor almost regrets speaking, suddenly shamed at the thought of Jayce hearing him like this, seeing him like this, so vulnerable and undone and weak.
But then Jayce is moving, and Viktor’s worries go flying out the window as shining hazel eyes level with his own.
“Viktor-“
And- oh. Viktor might just be in love. It’s a shame, for him to only realize that now, on what could be his literal death bed. Years of longing looks slide into place in Viktor’s mind, years of soft touches and wistful thoughts. It all makes perfect sense now- Viktor has loved Jayce for longer than he can work out. Perhaps he’s loved him all along.
And perhaps Jayce has loved him back as well. That latter thought somehow aches a little more than the former.
Viktor allows his eyes to slide shut once more, unable to face this newfound throbbing in his ribs, one that has little to do with his physical illness and everything to do with the hole festering in his heart.
4.
The Bridge
“Do you know how this looks?” Jayce’s voice is furious, though where the heat is coming from, Viktor couldn’t say. “I ordered a blockade, and my own partner violates it?”
Viktor’s world suddenly tilts on its side at Jayce words. Betrayal flashes like a fire in his chest, his fingers prickling with ice.
“You ordered this?” It aches. It aches so terribly. “Why?”
“There are people down there-“ Jayce spits the word ‘people’, and Viktor feels his pulse spike with anger, “who seem hell bent on destroying us. What were you doing?”
“I was consulting a friend about our quandary,” and oh Viktor hates that he has to defend himself. “I told you, I knew someone-“
“Well you didn’t say they were from the undercity!”
The words strike Viktor like a slap to the face. Like a shard pierced through his heart, slicing the line that holds up something vital.
“What difference does that make?”
“What difference?” Jayce shakes his head in disbelief. “They’re dangerous Viktor!”
Coolness trickles down Viktor’s spine, cold indifference washing over him. “I’m from the undercity, Jayce.” He makes to stand, slapping Jayce’s hand away as he reaches to help him. He doesn’t want his pity just now. Doesn’t want his attention, his affection-
“I’m sorry,” Jayce murmurs, but Viktor hardly hears him as he brushes past, determined to make it out of there-
“Was your friend able to help?”
Viktor stops in his tracks. All the fight suddenly seems to leech from his bones, leaving him vacant, leaving him worn, leaving him empty. He finds that he doesn’t wish to fight with Jayce any longer, doesn’t have the strength to argue his point, to present the case to justify his dubious actions.
“No,” he says, and it strikes him just how easy it is to lie to Jayce. “No, he said nature is resistant to this sort of tampering.”
Jayce sighs, the sound heavy in the air between them. He closes the distance between the two of them, gently resting his hand on Viktor’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry. We’ll keep looking, ok?”
Viktor nods, though it’s more out of habit than actual agreement. He allows himself then to be led by Jayce back towards Piltover, allows his partner to take a bit of his weight, allows him to see him vulnerable and beaten down and broken. It doesn’t seem to matter much anymore. Whether he sees him as a charity case, a broken toy, a washed up prodigy- Viktor doesn’t particularly care.
Which is strange. He’d never felt so apathetic towards Jayce in the past, never felt so detached that he could let go of such trivial matters.
Viktor ponders on it, as they make their way back to their lab, mulls it over in his head, desperate to find an ounce of feeling still locked within his chest, a sliver of the spark he’d once held for Jayce.
After hours of searching, he comes up nearly empty.
With a pang, Viktor wonders just when he’d started to let everything go.
5.
The Ledge
“You have to destroy it. The Hexcore.”
Viktor’s weary eyes scan the sun kissed city, drinking in the sight for what feels like the last time. Perhaps it is- he feels on the cusp of change just now, the edge of the end. He cannot possibly have much time left. Every morning is drawing nearer to his last, every hour that rings in is closer to farewell.
He doesn’t think Jayce could ever understand that. Walking such a fine line between the living and the dead. But then, death has always been a close companion of Viktor’s, suffering a long standing friend. He knows this particular dance like he knows the back of his hand. How could he ever expect someone as inherently privileged as Jayce to understand?
“But your illness,” Jayce objects, and Viktor hates to hear the desperation in his tone. “Without the Hexcore-“
A bout of coughing interrupts Jayce, not-so-subtly proving his point. Viktor fights to reel it in, to swallow back the pain he feels, the desire to collapse to the floor and never rise again.
“Promise me”
His eyes find Jayce’s, and he wills his partner to understand. For an ounce of their previously shared ideals to flow between them, for a second for their minds to briefly align. A moment passes and then Jayce looks away, nodding as he answers.
“Ok. Ok, I promise.”
A strange part of Viktor feels as though his words don’t quite ring true, a hollow edge to them that he cannot quite place.
He forgets it as Jayce stands, placing a warm hand upon Viktor’s bony shoulder. He turns his head to the side, feeling Jayce’s presence as he leans ever so slightly into him, pausing on his way out.
Viktor lets himself soak in the moment for a second, lets himself indulge in that which he cannot have, what he isn’t sure he really wants anymore. Jayce’s touch is impossibly grounding- even after all they’ve been through, all the wrong decisions they’ve both made- Viktor finds that he cannot bring himself to blame Jayce, cannot find any ill-will in his heart.
“We lost ourselves,” he muses, his addled mind loosening his tongue, causing him to speak more freely. “In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good”
Jayce doesn’t respond. Viktor isn’t sure he wants him to. Instead, they simple stand there for a while longer, Jayce’s hand upon Viktor’s shoulder, his steady presence lending a sliver of strength to Viktor’s weary bones.
It aches. Being so near Jayce, and yet so far. Viktor can sense it- the contrariety between their ideals. The man beside him is not the man Viktor had fallen for- but then, Viktor himself is not the man who’d fallen for him either.
They’ve come so far, since that first night in the lab. So many steps have been taken from their original selves, that Viktor isn’t sure he can recognize them at all anymore.
The thought chips away at remaining warmth in his heart, regret and loss filling him like a flood.
By the time they both leave, Viktor’s cracked heart finally begins to shatter.
+1
The Lab
Viktor claws his was back from the brink of darkness, his consciousness burrowing through the faded nothingness until he can feel himself settling back into his flesh and bones, can feel himself waking, his soul stirring in his chest.
It happens in a haze. Waking up is not nearly as painful as going under, but it certainly toes the line. Nothing feels right inside Viktor anymore. He feels like a foreign visitor in his own skin, an unwelcome parasite, a guest outstaying its welcome.
His body belongs to the Hexcore now. Viktor is merely a vessel.
He clings to the pain, to the confusing nothingness that wraps around him like a shroud as he surveys his surroundings. He’s in the Hexcore lab, where everything is strewn about, everything is rifled through, is in disarray-
His eyes stop on a figure at the center of it all.
Jayce.
Jayce will make things right. Just being near Jayce has always been enough to mend the aching in Viktor’s lungs, the pressure on his ribs.
There’s a sense of dejavu about this moment- of Viktor crawling back to consciousness, only to find Jayce waiting just beyond his reach.
Viktor makes his way over to Jayce, calls his name and watches as Jayce startles, as he shifts, as his eyes drink him in- and Viktor is starving, is desperate for a sliver of affection, attention, of warmth-
And then Jayce touches him, wraps him in his arms.
And Viktor feels nothing at all.
He’d wanted this. For as long as he could remember knowing the other, he’d desperately craved this sort of affection from Jayce. Had longed for it, pathetically, had pined after him with every worthless scrap in his chest.
But the spark that was once within his chest has gone out. In its place lies the Hexcore, a whirring beast that spews out new equations and calculations and inputs, but none of them relating to the finer workings of human thought and emotion.
The Hexcore feels nothing for Jayce. And as such, its host feels nothing as well.
“You must be cold,” Jayce murmurs. Viktor realizes then, that he is standing there naked before Jayce. That he should be cold, at the very least. If he cannot feel Jayce’s warmth, then he should at least get to feel the crisp bite of cold.
He doesn’t.
Still, he lets Jayce dress him in a cloak, if only to preserve an ounce of his human modesty- not that the Hexcore cares for such trivial things as that.
“I was supposed to die.” The slightest twinge of anger flashes like a dying ember in his mind. A faint, almost unidentifiable flicker of injustice.
He finds he does not enjoy the sensation. When placed next to the comfortable void that is his emotions, this flicker of heat feels far too hot.
So Viktor lets it go. He lets it fade until it is nothing but smoke and ash, escaping in tendrils from his mind. He feels much better with it gone. Leaning into the Hexcore’s nothingness is much preferred to the pain of attempting to experience the emotions of one still living.
Viktor’s mind begins to waver then, begins to drift off from his body, tucking itself into far more comfortable corners within his head. He grows detached from his surroundings, from Jayce’s words as the other tells him of his plans to quit the council, of his intent to remain by Viktor’s side- all things Viktor would have given anything to hear just weeks before, now meaning nothing to him beyond new inputs of data for him to process and sort accordingly.
“I must say goodbye to this place,” Viktor murmurs in answer. “To you.” He doesn’t mean the words as a blow, but Jayce seems to take them as one anyway, his face crumbling as he immediately begins to object.
“Viktor- you’re my partner.”
Viktor thinks he hears a deeper meaning etched into that word. He doesn’t dwell on it. Better to let it all fade then to fan the flames of his own heartache.
“Our paths diverged long ago,” Viktor murmurs, finding that the words ring true in his chest. “It was… affection. That held us together so long.”
Affection. Yes. That’s the word. Something raw, something natural, something human.
Something Viktor cannot feel any longer.
He doesn’t look back when he leaves. Instead, he clings to the pit that has formed within his chest, the dark hole that grows beneath his ribs, the darkness that pushes its way into every crevice of his mind. He lets the Hexcore invade his every thought, lets the whispers of himself fade into nothingness.
It is so much easier to give in to the Hexcore’s whims. So much easier to not be holding it back.
Viktor is so tired of fighting.